#That I know had gone on behind closed doors but that they were now saying openly

[traveler-at-heart]

Speak or die?

Summary: You have a crush on your poetry professor.

Professor Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Request by @jujuu23 :) Hope you like it

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

    And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

    And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

            Shall be lifted—nevermore!

Professor Romanoff closes the book, the classroom silent as she walks to the front. Her raspy voice had a way of enchanting people, and it almost felt like she had cast a spell on everyone.

“Thoughts?” she asks, adjusting her glasses. Her beautiful features are framed by a couple of strands of fiery hair, the rest of it tied in a messy bun.

A couple of people lean back on their seats, nervous about being called to participate.

“What a weirdo” Barnes says, and some of your classmates laugh.

“Thank you, for that very insightful analysis, Mr. Barnes. Any other thoughts you’d like to share with the class?”

Before he can speak again and say something even more stupid, you jump in.

“It’s about madness, caused by grief. About his beloved, who he’ll never forget but is gone. It’s the same theme in Annabel Lee and Lenore. Though I think Annabel Lee is a lot less haunting… there’s a certain serene beauty to it.”

“Very good, Miss Y/L/N. And of course, we have the references to Pallas Athena. Not uncommon for Allan Poe to mention Greek mythology. Your next assignment will be to find and discuss examples of mythology and classical literature within his work”

As everyone leaves the room, you walk next to the professor’s desk.

“I’ve enjoyed your essay. Well, both of them” she says.

“Both?” you stop, looking confused.

“It’s very obvious your boyfriend is not writing his papers” she tries to keep her composure, but finds it irritating that someone as bright as you is with Barnes of all people.

“Oh, Bucky? Yeah, I might have helped him a bit… not my boyfriend, though”

You think it’s best to leave out the fact he enrolled in this class to meet pretty girls and act like he knows about poetry.

“Well, he should still do his own homework” Natasha says, this time with a kinder tone. “And nice work today”

“Thank you” you nod, smiling as you leave the classroom. 

You hope Professor Romanoff didn’t notice the way you were blushing at her praise. 

—

Natasha glances at her cozy living room one last time. It’s a crisp autumn night, and she could still cancel her plans and stay home with a good book and a glass of wine.

But she’d never hear the end of it, would she?

The woman takes a cab to the gallery downtown, hoping the evening ends early and she can at least read a chapter or two of her novel before bed.

As she enters the crowded space, Natasha feels the need to turn around and leave. Carol’s voice stops her.

“Fancy meeting you here”

“Yelena made me do it” the redhead explains, standing next to her colleague and friend.

“Well, she’s quite the artist. You should be proud of your sister” Carol says, looking around the room until she finds the younger woman. Natasha nods her thanks and walks to her sister, smiling.

“You made it!” Yelena, who was explainig her sculpture to a man, stops mid sentence and hugs Natasha. “I thought you’d find a way to stay home and avoid being out”

“I promised I’d be here. Go. I’ll have a look around” Natasha says when another woman walks up to Yelena.

“Try the appetizers, they’re really good!” Yelena says before going up to meet a group of art dealers.

It’s a big night for the Art Department. They have been planning this exhibit for months now. Plenty of critics and art dealers would stop by, hoping to find the next big name.

Natasha walks around, eyeing the paintings and sculptures in the room. Distracted by a very abstract work, she fails to notice another person walking behind her until her back collides with a shoulder.

“Sorry” she turns, surprised at meeting your eyes and friendly smile.

“Hi, Professor Romanoff” you greet. “How are you liking the exhibit?” 

“It’s good. What are you doing here?”

“College paper business. And to support my roommate, Wanda” you point at a couple of paintings, with very dark themes and distorted faces. “She’s uh… going through her misunderstood artist phase” 

“Well, she’s certainly committed to it” Natasha says, looking at the girl who must be Wanda, dark hair and smokey eyes giving her a grunge look.

“She’s a sweetheart” you promise, knowing that’s only one side of her. You’ve seen her cry over The Dick Van Dyke show, for heaven’s sake. Though you promised you’d never tell anyone. “Want to be on the record for me?”

“How so?”

“Just tell me what you think of the exhibit. Or the department in general” you shrug your shoulders. “It’s good that other faculty members are here”

“Well, I’ve known Carol for years, back when we were both students. She’s very committed to her work and advancing the curriculum, so it’s great to see an amazing selection tonight. My sister seems to think a great deal of the success is due to Danvers”

“Your sister?”

“Yelena Belova” Natasha clarifies. At hearing that name, you blush and she immediately assumes that something happened between you two. 

The reality is, you’ve spoken about how much you love your poetry professor in front of Yelena on more than one occasion. Now you understand why she laughed so hard when you said Natasha was Aphrodite reincarnate.

That little shit.

“Yeah, I know Yel. Wanda and her hang at the dorm, I mean, we all do” you trip over your words, picking up a glass of red wine to ease your nerves.

“You sure you can handle that?” Natasha asks, appreciating the way your cheeks blush at the taste of the alcohol.

“It’s fine” you lick your lips, missing the way Natasha follows the movement with her eyes.

“Well, it’s nice to know Yelena has someone with common sense to keep her grounded” Natasha says and inspite of your internal struggle, you smile.

In that moment, Carol clinks her glass gently, getting everyone’s attention. As she speaks, you try to listen to her words -the toast should be mentioned in the article- but your mind is focused on Natasha’s parfum, and the warmth of her body as she stands next to you. Once Danvers is done, everyone claps and you take a breath, thinking it might be a good idea to get some fresh air.

“Sestra, there you are” Yelena walks up to you two, a knowing smirk at your affected state. “I’d introduce you but I believe you already know each other”

“Yeah” you smile, looking anywhere but Natasha. “I’ll leave you to it, gotta talk to a couple more people. Enjoy your evening”

Yelena doesn’t move, so you’re forced to walk very close to Natasha, and the moment your eyes meet you almost forget how to breathe.

The redhead doesn’t miss the way your pupils are blown or the not so subtle way in which you glance at her lips.

She wants to reach out and grab your wrist, turn you around and devour your lips in a messy kiss. Instead, she sees you walk towards your friend.

“See? Aren’t you glad I made you come out of your cave?”

Apparently, your crush wasn’t one sided after all. 

—

The school paper. Natasha barely paid attention to it, even when it was delivered every Monday to her office, same as every faculty member at Lang University. 

This time, she is eager to open it and read your article. There it is, your name and a very long piece about the exhibit. Your prose is exquisite, and you didn’t just deliver an event summary; it’s a deep dive into the department, budget cuts and how students and professors are investing their own resources to keep the course alive.

Right under the dean’s nose. Natasha has to smile; it’s true that Howard Stark was more inclined to favor the Science department and a number of protests had gone unanswered on his side. Most of them came from tenured professors, as part time teachers and students were concerned with some sort of retaliation.

Not you, though.

Natasha is so focused on the article that she misses the knock on her door until Fury comes in.

“Romanoff” he greets. “Picking up on some light reading?”

“Something very entertaining” she turns the pages to show your article and he chuckles.

“She’s got balls” he recognises. “Heard she was talking about it with some art dealers who donate to the university. Apparently Stark is listening now”

“I’m happy to hear that”

“That’s not why I’m here, though” Fury sits down, crossing his legs. “The Foster Grant”

“What about it?” Natasha says, playing dumb. She hates to be the center of attention. “I know I got it, it’s no big deal”

“It is to the department. We don’t want to be the next on the list of budget cuts”

“Maybe we’ll just have to ask Y/N to write an article for us” she jokes, but Fury just smirks knowingly.

“Great idea! Let’s have her write something about your work and the research you’ve been doing” he slaps his knee, standing up. 

“What?”

“Well, don’t look at me like that, it was your idea, Romanoff. Better be this week so it’s on next Monday’s edition” he winks, leaving her office whistling.

As usual, Natasha is blindsided by her boss. How on Earth will she manage a conversation alone with you?

Still, Fury leaves no room for argument, and at the end of Tuesday’s class, you approach her desk.

“I was told you had an assignment for me” you say, biting your lip nervously.

“Yes, that’s right. Something about a research grant, it’s really not a big deal. Sorry that Fury put you up to it” she dismisses the thing like it’s a nuissance.

“I don’t mind at all. Just wanted to check if… when do you want to meet. And where. It would be better around Thursday so I can come prepared with questions and then write everything over the weekend. But I’ll adjust to your schedule” 

“Thursday is fine by me” Natasha nods. “My office? Last class is at 5, so maybe 6”

“Yeah, sounds good” you nod, blushing. “See you then, professor”

How will you survive this?

—

Thursday comes faster than you’d like, and you’re inspecting your wardrobe as if you’re going on a first date. 

Everythig’s too ugly. Why do you have such ugly clothes? 

Ugh, I should just cancel. 

In the end, you opt for a preppy look, with a black skirt and thights, choosing a black and white stripped sweater for the cold weather.

You run into Yelena and Wanda in the living room.

“Where are you going so fancy?” the blonde says, whistling and forcing you to twirl so she can have a 360 of your outfit. “You’re going on a date, aren’t you?”

Wanda, who actually knows about your appointment, covers her mouth to keep from laughing and you glare at her.

“Don’t”

“What? Is it someone I know?” Yelena looks between the two of you.

“Yes. It’s your sister” Wanda finally cracks. 

“It’s not a date!” you rush to say when Yelena turns to look at you. “I’m writing an article about her research”

“Mmm, right” she nods, not believing you. “She asked about you the other day, you know?”

“She did? I mean, what did she want to know?” you try to pretend it’s no big deal.

“She asked if we hooked up. I told her you’re not my type”

“Oh, please. I’m everyone’s type” you huff, picking up your bag before you run late. You still want to stop by the cafeteria.

“You’re certainly Natasha’s” Yelena mumbles, but you miss it. “Good luck on your non date with my sister”

“Not a date… although, what’s her coffee order?” 

“I’ll tell you if you admit it’s a date”

By the time you finally get Yelena to answer, you’re ten minutes late, walking around campus with two coffees and cookies. Knocking with your elbow, you hear a soft come in and figure out how to open the door. 

Juggling everything, you walk into Natasha’s office.

“Let me help you” the woman says, standing up and rushing to your side. You hand over the cup with her name. “For me?”

“Yes”

“Thank you. I’m sorry, I should be the one with a drink to offer. How did you know?” she licks her lips, appreciating the sweet flavor of the caramel macchiato. Her glasses fog from the warmth of the drink and you have to resist the urge to kiss her.

“I asked Yelena” you admit. “Glad to know she wasn’t pranking me” 

“I do have a sweet tooth”

“No worries, I won’t write anything about it” you take a notepad and your phone to record. “May I?”

“Please” Natasha settles behind her desk, appreciating that cute little frown that always appears when you’re focused. You go over your notes for a minute and then nod, ready to begin.

The hour goes by quickly, and Natasha feels proud when she notices you’ve stopped taking notes, genuinely interested and asking about everything she’s been researching for the past year and a half.

“Oh, it’s getting late. I’m so sorry for keeping you here” you apologize, looking at the time. 

“That’s ok, I’m free for the rest of the evening. I cleared my schedule just for you”

The words make your heart flutter. Of course she doesn’t mean anything by it, but how you wished she did.

“So, do you have time for a couple more questions?”

“Sure” 

For you, she has all the time in the world. Natasha could spend all night watching you put that lose strand of hair behind your ear, while you write down your thoughts. 

It’s dangerously endearing.

“I’d like to know… your favorite poem” you ask, more for yourself than for the article.

Natasha takes a deep breath, standing up and walking around her desk. She speaks as she approaches you, in that soft, tender tone that always makes your heart skip a beat.

“I loved you; even now I may confess,

Some embers of my love their fire retain;

But do not let it cause you more distress,

I do not want to sadden you again.

Hopeless and tongue-tied, yet I loved you dearly

With pangs the jealous and the timid know;

So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,

I pray God grant another love you so”

Natasha looks into your eyes as she sits on the edge of the desk, mere inches away from you. 

In truth, you had expected her to answer with the poem’s title, not recite it to you so passionately.

“Pushkin” you sigh, looking at your hands.

“Very good” she praises, which makes you blush even harder. “It sounds better in Russian, though”

“I can imagine” you say, torn between wanting to hear it or not. You might lose your last sliver of self control if she speaks her native language.

“Is there anything else you need from me?”

You need to kiss her, discover how her lips feel against yours. Hold her hand, guide her up your skirt…

“Yes. I… mean, no, I have everything I need, professor” you snap out of your thoughts, looking flustered. “Thank you so much for making the time to speak to me”

“I always have time for my best student” she says, standing up and walking you to the door. “I’m looking forward to reading your article”

“I’ll try to live up to the expectations”

“I’m sure you will” she says gently, leaning against the threshold of the door. You look at her lips one last time before stepping back, wishing the evening could be prolonged.

Natasha watches you walk away, already missing your presence.

—

You spend the weekend reliving the interview. Thank God you kept recording when Natasha recited Pushkin, because now you have it for posterity.

The article is done, has been since you got back to your dorm. The words flowed effortlessly as you remembered everything Natasha said, and so you spent all night writing and correcting it until it was perfect. Even your editor was impressed when you sent it over.

Now, all that’s left is you, the recording and the view from your window. You listen to Natasha over and over again, hoping her presence migh somehow slip into your subconscious and then, she’ll be in your dreams as well.

As if you had summoned her, Natasha appears outside your window, walking with Yelena. As her sister walks into your building to meet with Wanda, Natasha looks up, waving at you. You remove your headphones, blushing at the fact that you were just listening to her speak on the recording.

“How’s the article coming along?”

“Signed, sealed, delivered” you smile. “I do hope you’ll like it”

“It will be the first thing I read tomorrow” she promises, saying goodbye. This time, you don’t bother to hide the fact that you’re staring as she leaves, and a little part of you feels like Juliet, watching Romeo walk away.

Forbidden love.

No, not forbidden. Unrequited.

With a sigh, you walk away and join your friends, thinking it’s better to distract yourself now that you remember Natasha Professor Romanoff is out of your reach.

Still, you can only fall asleep as you listen to her reciting that poem over and over again. And when you wake up, the resolve to see her again overcomes every fiber of your being. 

So you walk up to her office, knowing very well she’s there at break of dawn.

“Y/N” she says, looking at the paper in your hands. “Come in”

“I thought you’d like to read it. But maybe you’re busy. And you won’t like it or it’s not a big deal to you” you rant, handing it over and turning to leave. “Never mind”

“Stay” is all she says, hand reaching for your wrist. Your heart skips a beat at the contact and you nod, trying to ease your nerves. 

Natasha sits on her small sofa to read the article, and you’re too anxious so you walk around her office, examining the bookshelves. As you approach her desk, you focus on an open book, some notes scribbled along the margins.

“I love it” Natasha says, standing right behind you. You jump, so absorbed by the book that you didn’t hear her stand up and come close to you. She’s now reading over your shoulder. “It’s the Heptameron, by Marguerite de Navarre. I was working on a translation from the German edition”

You can now see the sheet of paper next to the page, Natasha’s writing looking rushed as if she fears the words will be taken by the wind. With a shaky voice, you break the sudden silence in the room, reading the story.

“A handsome young knight is madly in love with a princess

And she too is in love with him

Though she seems not to be entirely aware of it

Despite the friendship that blossoms between them or

Perhaps because of that very friendship

The young knight finds himself

So humbled and speechless

That he's totally unable to bring up the subject of his love

Till one day he asks the princess point blank

Is it better to speak or to die?”

“I found myself thinking a lot about unrequited love this weekend. And so I remembered this little thing” she says in a low voice. “What do you think is better? Speak or die?”

“I think that depends, Professor” you sigh, feeling her hand against your lower back.

“Depends… on what?” she whispers against your ear, making you shiver. “Should I speak about all the times I think of you, of how endearing and wonderful and intriguing you are to me?”

You turn around, cornered against her desk. Natasha’s hands traces a path down your arm, and takes your hand, lifting it to her lips. Your eyes follow the movement, and a sigh leaves your lips at the soft kiss she places on the back of your hand.

“Should I speak about how I wonder what it would be like to kiss you, taste you, mark you, until you’re chanting my name like a prayer?”

This time, her hand travels to your lips, pupils dilating as you allow her to invade your mouth with her finger, sucking gently until she retrieves it, pulling you by the waist.

“Should I speak, then? Or shall we keep pretending neither one of us wants this?” she whispers against your lips. You close your eyes, taking a breath to steady your heart. Her touch, her words, is all too much and you’re afraid it’s all a perfect dream, and at any moment you’ll wake up, alone and desperate for her.

“Please…” you say, leaning forward and capturing her lips in a messy, frantic kiss. Dream or reality, you’ll take Natasha in whatever way you can.

Natasha craddles your face in her hands, spreading your legs apart with her knee. You whine incoherently at her surprising strenght, your hands balled up in fists around the fabric of her pristine shirt. 

“You’re so perfect” she sighs against your lips. “So beautiful”

“Natasha” you plead, wanting to feel her against you, closer, harder. More, more, more until you’re on the brink of destruction and she’s all that exists.

“I want you. Do you want me?” she asks, and you catch the uncertainty in her tone.

“Of course I do” 

If only she could feel how wet you are, all because of her touch.

But there’s a knock on the door, and you both look at the spot, alarmed. Natasha squeezes your hand to reassure you.

“Yes?”

“Just delivering the paper, Professor”

“Leave it outside, I’ll pick it up in a minute. Thank you”

You take a moment to breathe and fix your hair, aware that your lips are swollen from all the kissing.

You kissed your professor. Natasha Romanoff kissed you.

“Are you ok?” she asks, worried about your sudden silence.

“Just wondering if I’m about to wake up from a beautiful dream” you admit, and she smiles.

“Do you dream of me?” she teases, her hand reaching for yours.

“Only when I’m awake”

Natasha smiles, kissing your fingers.

“Would you like to have dinner with me? My place. This Friday”

“Yes. I’d love to”

There’s another knock on the door, but Fury doesn’t wait for Natasha to answer. You jump away from the woman, unsure if this could get her into trouble.

Luckily, Fury is busy inspecting the paper that was dropped outside of Natasha’s office and he doesn’t pick up on anything as he looks up.

“Miss Y/L/N. You wrote an amazing article. Brilliant”

“Thank you, Doctor Fury” you say. “I should head out, my Sociology class is starting soon”

Natasha smiles at you, hoping you understand how much she wishes you could carry on.

But the promise of more lingers in her eyes and so, as you take one last look at her, you return her smile.

“I’m happy the knight spoke, Professor. See you in class” 

“See you in class, Miss Y/L/N”

[0omillo0]

I’m so glad you’ve finished your school! I know school can be rough especially end of the year. Speaking of free time. 🥺👉👈 How about (surprise) angst/hurt with Han this time (at this point I’m trying to go through all the members at least once) Y/N is having just like, the worst day. They come home to Han for comfort but he is also having just like, the worst day. So they argue and Han walls out, but later there’s a fire at the apartment complex and when he comes back there’s like a whole scene and he freaks out. Y/N is already in the back of an ambulance and they’re fine but Han takes five ever to find them and is freaking out the entire time.

Calling you clingy

Han Jisung x Reader 한지성

a/n: Hi! I’m sorry if this took so long but I’m kinda struggling with my emotions lately and I don’t really like the way I write… hope you’ll like it tho

The day felt doomed from the moment you opened your eyes.

Your alarm hadn’t gone off, leaving you scrambling to get ready. You spilled coffee on your only clean shirt, missed your bus, and when you finally arrived at work, it was like the universe conspired against you. A project you’d poured your heart into was torn apart in a meeting, and the snide comments from a coworker still rang in your ears. By the time you walked through your apartment door that evening, you felt like a frayed wire—one spark away from snapping.

Han sat on the couch, earbuds in, a notebook balanced on his lap. His pen moved furiously across the page, his frustration evident in every stroke. Seeing him there, a small part of your tension eased. He’ll make this better, you thought. He always does…

“Hey,” you said softly, closing the door behind you.

He didn’t look up. “Hey.”

You hesitated, unsure if he’d even heard you. “Han… I’m sorry to bother you but I had the worst day. I don’t even know where to start. I just… I really need you right now. Please…”

You had always been nice to him, always making sure to give him his space. And he knew.

But this time, he sighed, setting his notebook aside but still not meeting your eyes. “Y/N, I can’t do this right now. I’m kind of drowning here myself.”

His words hit you like a cold wave. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, rubbing his temples, “I’ve been dealing with my own stuff all day. I’m exhausted too.”

You stared at him, your throat tightening. “I’m not asking you to solve anything, Han. I just wanted… I needed you to be here with me... I’m sorry-”

Finally, he looked at you, irritation flickering in his eyes. “Stop saying you’re sorry! It’s like… you can���t handle anything without me. You’re always leaning on me, and it’s—” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “It’s clingy, Y/N.”

The word sliced through you like a knife. “Clingy?” you echoed, your voice cracking.

Han stood, pacing in the small space. “Yes, clingy. Every time something goes wrong, I’m the first person you run to, and I can’t—”

“And what?” you interrupted, anger bubbling up. “You can’t handle that? I thought that’s what relationships were for—being there for each other!”

His voice rose to match yours. “It is! But I’m not your emotional punching bag! I have limits too!”

Your chest tightened, tears prickling at your eyes. “Fine. If I’m so clingy, maybe I should stop coming to you altogether.”

“Maybe you should.” His voice was cold.

He grabbed his keys from the counter and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The silence that followed felt deafening. You stood frozen, tears spilling over as his words echoed in your head.

You’ve never seen him like this. It hurt so bad it felt like you were drowning in your own tears.

You decided to listen to some music to distract yourself, until..

*Sniff sniff*

The smell of smoke was faint at first, so faint you ignored it. You thought it was coming from outside—someone burning leaves or a neighbor cooking. But then the fire alarm shrieked through the building, and the panic set in.

When you opened the door, smoke poured in, thick and choking. Flames flickered at the end of the hallway. Grabbing your phone and bag, you stumbled into the chaos, your heart pounding as the smoke burned your lungs.

By the time you made it outside, the cool night air felt like relief, but your head swam, and you couldn’t stop coughing. Paramedics found you, guiding you to an ambulance. You barely registered their words as they placed an oxygen mask over your face, the world spinning around you.

While you were fighting for your own life, Han wandered the city, replaying your argument in his head. At first, he felt justified—you’d been overwhelming lately, hadn’t you? But as the minutes stretched into hours, guilt started creeping in. You weren’t clingy; you trusted him enough to lean on him when things got tough. And he’d thrown that trust back in your face.

He turned toward the apartment, ready to apologize, when he saw smoke curling into the sky. His heart stopped.

“No. No, no, no,” he whispered, breaking into a sprint.

The fire was massive, consuming the upper floors of the building—your floor. His lungs burned as he ran, panic rising with every step. By the time he reached the scene, fire trucks and ambulances surrounded the complex.

“Y/N!” he shouted, shoving through the crowd of evacuees. “Have you seen Y/N?”

No one answered. He called your name again, louder this time, his voice cracking. His legs felt like they might give out, his thoughts racing to every worst-case scenario.

Finally, he spotted you in the back of an ambulance. Relief hit him so hard that he nearly collapsed.

“Y/N!” he cried, rushing to your side.

You looked up, your face pale but alive, the oxygen mask resting on your lap. “You came back,” you said hoarsely.

Han dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands shaking as he reached for yours. “I—I thought—I thought I lost you,” he stammered, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry. I never should have left. I was selfish, and I was wrong. I’m so, so sorry.”

You stared at him for a moment, your expression unreadable. Finally, you pulled the mask down, your voice trembling. “You called me clingy, Han. You left me when I needed you most. Do you know how much that hurt?”

His face crumpled. “I know. I was an idiot. I didn’t mean it—I was overwhelmed, and I took it out on you. But I’ll never do that again. I swear. You mean everything to me, Y/N. Everything.”

Your lip trembled, tears welling up in your eyes. “You made me feel like I didn’t matter to you. Like I was just… too much.”

Han cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing a tear from your cheek. “You’re not too much. You’ll never be too much. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to. I’m so sorry.”

For a moment, you hesitated, the pain still fresh in your chest. But the sincerity in his eyes—the fear, the guilt, the love—broke down your walls. You nodded slowly, leaning into his touch.

“Okay,” you whispered. “But it’s going to take time.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hands steadying as he held you close. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.”

That night, you stayed together in your apartement, after making sure you were all right at the hospital, the weight of the day still heavy but no longer unbearable. Han didn’t let go of you for a second, whispering soft reassurances until your eyes closed.

You weren’t sure how long it would take to heal, but as you drifted off, you knew one thing: Han was willing to try.

@intartaruginha @hannamoon143 @omgsecretsecret @inlovewithstraykids @whoa-jo @madirye062 @vixensss @sseawavee @emilyywhyy @halfwinterhalfuniverse @velvetmoonlght @flourishmoon

[hisfavegirl]

Can you make a scene when aegon is crying in his room after b&c and the reader is his twins?? like angst but also comforting??

Silent Grief - King!Aegon Targaryen x TwinSister!Reader.

Summary : Jaehaerys—your precious boy—was stolen from you too soon. Taken from the world in a brutal twist of fate that left your family fractured, broken in ways you never thought possible. He was a promise of a future, a new beginning after the turmoil that had once gripped your bloodline. But now, that future is gone, lost in the cruel grasp of tragedy.

Aegon Masterlist.

You pause outside the door to your husband’s chambers, the soft murmur of his voice filtering through the crack in the door. It isn’t just the faint sound of a man grieving—it is the raw, broken sobs of a man whose heart has been shattered. Aegon’s cries hit you like a wave, crashing over the walls you’ve spent so long building to protect yourself from the pain. His sorrow is thick with the weight of a loss you both share, a loss that feels impossible to bear.

Jaehaerys. Your son. The child who had brought so much joy into your life, now gone. His laughter, his tiny hands reaching for you, gone in an instant. And now, it is Aegon’s sorrow that fills the room, the pain that has consumed him for days.

You’ve watched him retreat into himself, isolating himself from you, from the world. He has avoided you—his wife, his twin sister. He doesn’t want you to see him like this. He doesn’t want you to witness the vulnerability and despair that have overtaken him, the weight of grief that he can no longer hide.

But you are his wife. You are his twin sister. The bond between you is too strong, too deep for him to shut you out completely. You know him better than anyone. You know that behind the closed doors and the silence, he is breaking.

With a steady breath, you push the door open.

The room is dim, lit only by the flickering light of a candle that seems as fragile as the moment itself. Aegon sits at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with the force of his grief. You’ve never seen him like this before—not even during the darkest days of their war for the throne. The powerful, often indomitable king, now reduced to a man wracked with sorrow.

He doesn’t look up when you enter. His voice is barely a whisper, lost in the rawness of his emotion.

“Please, don’t… don’t look at me like this,” Aegon’s voice cracks, and his words hang heavy in the air, as if the very act of speaking them causes him more pain. “I couldn’t protect him. I couldn’t save him.”

You feel your heart tighten, the weight of his grief pulling at you. You know this pain all too well—this unbearable ache of loss that consumes you from the inside out. But you refuse to let him suffer alone, even if he tries to push you away.

Slowly, you walk towards him, your presence a silent comfort in the midst of his storm. You sit beside him on the bed, your hands gently resting on his back. He stiffens at first, then gradually relaxes as he feels your touch. Your connection is undeniable, a bond forged from years of shared experiences, of love and loss. You were born together, lived through the chaos of the world together, and now, even in this moment of unbearable grief, you would face it together.

“Aegon,” you whisper, your voice soothing, “I’m here. I’m right here with you. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

He turns to you then, his tear-streaked face contorted with sorrow. His eyes are dark with exhaustion, haunted by the death of their son, and in that moment, he looks so fragile that it nearly breaks you. The strong, proud king you once knew, now just a broken man, clinging to the remains of his shattered heart.

“I couldn’t protect him,” he repeats, his voice barely audible. “I couldn’t save Jaehaerys.”

You take his face in your hands, gently forcing him to meet your gaze. “You didn’t fail him,” you say softly. “There was nothing more you could have done. We both loved him. We both did everything we could, Aegon. But some things… they’re beyond our control.”

The silence that follows feels heavier than any words could express. The weight of the grief, the loss of their son, hangs between you, binding you in shared sorrow. And yet, as you sit there with him, holding him close, you realize that despite the pain, there is still something stronger than it all: your bond. Your love for him.

The sound of Aegon’s sobs pierces through the heavy silence of the room, each cry a reminder of the grief you both carry. The sorrow in his voice is raw, unfiltered, and it cuts through you like a blade. You had lost your son, your beloved Jaehaerys, to a brutal fate, but hearing Aegon, the man you had once looked up to as a rock, crumble before you, makes the ache in your heart swell with a new, unbearable pain.

His cries are not just for Jaehaerys. They are the cries of a father who feels like he failed, a king who couldn’t protect his own flesh and blood. And though you, too, are lost in your own grief, there’s a part of you that can’t help but feel the weight of his sorrow, the burden he’s placed on himself. He has always been your pillar—strong, unyielding. Yet now, in the wake of their son’s brutal death, you see him as you never have before: broken, fragile, and lost.

You want to hold him, comfort him, but you are equally as lost. You, too, are drowning in the loss of your child. Your son, your Jaehaerys, was taken from you in a way so cruel, so violent, it feels like the world itself has torn you apart. You wanted to protect him, to keep him safe in a world that has only ever been ruthless. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough.

Your heart aching, and without a word, you pull him into your arms. His body is trembling with grief, his face hidden in the crook of your neck, and it feels as if your tears have no end. The dam breaks, and you cry, not just for Jaehaerys, but for the man who has always stood beside you. You mourn for him, too. For the Aegon you once knew—so proud, so certain of everything—and now, reduced to a shell of himself, lost in the same pain you feel.

You both weep together, your cries a mirror of each other. You weep for the child stolen from you, for the cruel brutality that claimed him. You weep for the dreams of a future that will never be. You weep for the man you loved, who now is slipping away from you, consumed by guilt and sorrow.

His arms tighten around you, as though trying to hold onto something—anything—to anchor him in this world that has suddenly become too much to bear. Your fingers run through his hair, your hands trembling as you hold him close, wishing that somehow, in this moment, you could ease his suffering. But you can’t. Neither of you can escape the truth of what has happened.

“Jaehaerys,” you whisper, your voice barely audible through the tears. “Our son… he was taken so brutally. So violently.”

The words choke you, the reality of it too much to speak aloud. But you know Aegon hears it, feels it, because he clutches you tighter, as if your embrace is the only thing keeping him tethered to the world.

“He was everything,” Aegon mutters, his voice broken. “He was everything. And I couldn’t protect him. I failed him. I failed you.”

“No,” you say, your voice trembling with the effort to make him understand. “You didn’t fail us. You didn’t fail him. We both did everything we could. The world… the world is just cruel, Aegon. There was nothing we could do to stop it.”

But even as you say the words, you know they don’t bring comfort. Nothing can fix this. Nothing can heal the wound in your heart, nor his. You are both drowning in a grief that feels too heavy to bear, yet somehow, you hold onto each other as if your lives depend on it.

And in the midst of it all, as your bodies shake with sorrow, you both know that, for now, the only thing that can get you through this pain is the shared weight of your loss. Together, you mourn the life stolen from you both, sharing in the quiet understanding that while you have lost your son, you have not lost each other—at least not yet.

The night stretches on, and as the hours pass, the tears begin to subside, leaving behind a quiet, fragile silence. You and Aegon remain locked in each other’s arms, not saying a word, but knowing that the grief will never truly leave. It will live within you both, forever. But in this moment, as you hold him close, you find solace in the shared sorrow, in the unspoken promise that, together, you will face the darkness ahead.

The quiet sorrow in the room is almost suffocating as you and Aegon remain locked in each other’s embrace. Your tears have slowed, but the ache remains—a heavy, unyielding weight that neither of you can escape. In this moment, the world outside seems so distant, so far removed from the grief that binds you both together. It’s just the two of you, sharing in a silence that speaks more than words ever could.

And yet, unbeknownst to you, another presence lingers in the doorway.

Alicent stands there, her figure silhouetted against the dim light of the hallway, watching her children in a way that is both loving and helpless. She stands frozen, unsure of how to act, torn between the instinct to rush to you both and the fear that her comfort will fall flat, that her words will be hollow against the rawness of your pain. She’s always been the Queen, the figure of authority, the protector of the family. But in this moment, all that seems to have failed her. She doesn’t know how to fix what is broken—how to fix you both.

Her heart aches as she watches you and Aegon, the children she has raised, the ones she has tried so hard to hold together. She wants to walk over, to wrap her arms around both of you and tell you everything will be alright. That the pain will fade, and time will heal the wounds. But she knows—deep down—that it isn’t true. Time will not heal this, not this wound, not this loss. The emptiness left by Jaehaerys’s death is something none of you will ever fully escape.

For a long moment, she stands there, unsure whether to enter or retreat. She hesitates, caught between her love for her children and her inability to bridge the growing gap between them. Alicent doesn’t know what to say, or if anything she says will even be heard. She has tried so hard to be the mother you both needed, to mend the fractures that have always been present in your family, but now, more than ever, she feels like a stranger to both of you.

Aegon shifts slightly, his face still buried in your shoulder, and you let out a shaky breath, holding him tighter, as though the very act of holding him could somehow stop the world from crumbling. You don’t notice Alicent’s presence at first. But after a few moments, she realizes that her hesitation has already caused the distance to grow.

With a quiet sigh, Alicent turns away from the door, her footsteps soft as she retreats into the shadows of the hallway. She doesn’t look back, afraid that if she does, it will break something that is already too fragile. The silence between you three is deafening, and though she’s tried for years to hold your family together, in this moment, she feels more distant than ever.

Alicent doesn’t know how to make you feel better. She doesn’t know how to ease the sorrow of losing a child. She doesn’t understand how to fix the bond between her children and herself, a bond that has been fraying for so long, so silently.

As she walks away, her own heart aches, not just for Jaehaerys, but for the two of you—the children she cannot seem to reach, no matter how hard she tries. She doesn’t realize that, in her silence, she has only deepened the divide, pushing you both further away without ever meaning to.

Alicent knows nothing of the quiet, unspoken resentment that has grown in the wake of everything that has happened. She doesn’t understand that, while she watches from the outside, you and Aegon have begun to forge your own bond, one that excludes her. A bond born not from love, but from shared pain and the deep understanding that only you two can truly know the weight of this loss.

And as she disappears down the hall, a quiet, invisible rift stretches between the three of you, one that will not easily be mended.

Tag list : @danytar @julessworldd @hangmanscoming @zaldritzosrose @yazzzmints @giirlinblack

[imrkos]

FREAKING OUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD?! — Rafe Cameron & JJ Maybank.

THE PROLOGUE : VELVETWAVES

SYNOPSIS As a new year begins you’ve decided to rebel against the norms of your very well established title “Ms.Perfectionist” and create the band VelvetWaves with your fellow friends, and it seems like you’ve attracted both the eyes of your fellow kook’s and the pouge’s, especially those of Rafe Cameron, your sister and brothers bestfriend and JJ Maybank, the guy you’ve heard a lot about from your bestfriend and fellow bandmate Cleo.

WORD COUNT 2,482

WARNING! : this chapter contains mentions of somebody taking their life & readers depression so read this with caution if the topic is something you wouldn’t like to read or hear of!

You lied. You weren’t sure if Ryder was even conscious enough to drive you and Cleo home, hell you didn’t even know where Cleo was. You guys came together for a gig you guys booked and it was the highest amount you guys have been paid thus far. It was for a birthday or something, you weren’t sure.

You try scanning through the crowd of people for a sign of your friends' presence, you guys had just gotten done performing and were offered free drinks and to Cleo’s and Kai’s dismay Jace and Ryder suggested staying a bit longer.

You take a look behind you and notice a familiar face “Topper!”

Topper Thornton. A friend of your siblings, a close friend even, your siblings are twins so they basically have the same friends and although your sister Riley had a thing with Topper back in freshman year it seems like they stayed cool with each other. He’s nice, at least to you.

“Hey rockstar, you done cosplaying as one of…them” He says with a slightly disgusted tone “Yeah very funny Top, Do you happen to know where ‘one of them’ is?” He looks around “I mean I saw Kai or whatever his name is, he seemed bored, don’t know where he went” You sigh

“Hey, can you do me a favor or something?” He raises an eyebrow “Can you drop me off at home..” He stares at you “Please” He lets out a deep breath “C’mon, let’s go before Ruthie tries to find me or something” You chuckle as you guys make your way outside

“What’s up with you guys? She’s usually by your side or nearby” he shrugs “I don’t even know at this point, it’s like we’re good and then she does something to piss me off and expects me to apologize-“ He suddenly stops walking causing you to almost lose your balance “Oh hey man” he says dapping Rafe up.

Rafe Cameron. To be completely honest you don’t even know much about him, at least not anymore.

“Hey.” hey was all he could say to you and all you could say back was “Hey.”

There was an awkward moment of silence yet you both knew exactly what the other was thinking.“I hate you” was the last thing he said to you last summer yet he kept contacting you and then the messages stopped.

“Uh, y’know I was just taking her home but I’ll be back so uh see you later man” Topper says breaking the silence, thank god. Rafe nods brow’s furrowed “Hey Y/n” you turn around at the mention of your name “You guys did great.” he says before leaving.

You scoff “You guys did great.” you mock him as Topper tries fighting back a laugh “So you guys haven’t spoken?” He questioned, you looked over at him as he opened the car door for you, and he noticed the slight frown on your face and the way you were now playing with your bracelets “I'll take that as a no”

He starts the car and for a moment there’s nothing but silence. You notice him looking at you from time to time when you guys reach red lights and stop signs, his phone buzzes constantly probably Ruthie or something, you look over at him and he finally speaks,

“He’s gone sober y’know” he also got a new girlfriend you think to yourself but you stay silent. “It’s crazy because he did a complete 360, I mean he’s a douche at times but shit he’s like a changed man”

Silence.

“I don’t mean to bring him up to upset you, I surprisingly like you“ you roll your eyes at his attempt at being nice “-and he’s one of my best friends after all but he can be a hot head and can’t admit his wrongs and-“

“He did apologize.” Topper opens his mouth to speak but he decides not to say anything. “He actually blew my phone up, that same night that..” you pause “My-“ “Yeah I know,” he says “But then you left for NewYork and showed up again all new and improved” he laughs “I like this little rockstar era of yours it’s quite different, don’t get why you're with those pogues but it’s nice to see you good again.” you look over at him as he parks the car in front of your house.

“Top” “Yes?”

“Is he happy? with her?”

Topper hesitates, he looks out the window rather than looking at you, his hand gripping the wheel “He seems happy. I can’t necessarily say it’s all because of her but she’s- she’s good for him I guess.” You nod eyes now glossy

“You wrote that song of yours about him, right? The one that’s all over the radios?”

You nod “It’s a great song Y/n, he likes it too.” you caress your hand as he unlocks the car “Get some rest alright? And tell your brother he needs to answer my texts faster, I’m not one of his bitches” you both laugh “Thank you.”

“Goodnight!” he yells out from the window “Goodnight” you yell back.

As soon as you enter the house you're faced with your brother's annoyed face, his eyes droopy and slightly red, his lips parted slightly as he was going to say something but he takes notice of your slightly heavy breathing, his face drops “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You don’t say anything, you can’t say anything. It’s not that you don’t want to, you really can’t let any words out.

“Topper dropped me off” you finally managed to let out after a few minutes “What'd he do?! I swear that prick is an idiot-“ “No! I-It’s not anything he did, I just-“ you take a deep breath “Just forget about it” you dismissed, heading towards the stairs, you took notice of how he didn't follow like he usually did.

You quickly undress and step into the shower, the hot water finally hitting your face.

Your dad would always compare you to himself. He would say that he would also take showers to think, sometimes he just needed to get away from everything, even your mom. You always admired the way he could give great advice and slide in a joke here and there. He always knew when you needed somebody, something, someone, and he was always somebody, something, someone.

He passed before your junior year of High School. It was midsummer and you noticed he was gone and by the time you found him, it was too late. You didn’t scream, you didn’t walk towards him, you couldn’t move.

──⋆

“DAD!” you hear Quinn scream, “Oh my god! Oh my god! D-Dad!” he screeched “Y/n! What the fuck happened?! O-Oh my god!” he looked over at you standing still while he kneeled next to your dead father.

He screams your name again, his eyes all watery, you doubt he could properly even see you “Y-Y/n I need you t-to tell me!” his voice cracked and his face all doleful “Please” his hand shaking gripping onto your dad's suit.

Soon enough your sister, Riley arrived, and then your mom.

Gosh, It broke your heart hearing her scream, your sister right beside her looking towards you as her twin cries into your dad's lifeless body.

Guilt.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

It was all you could feel. Maybe if you hadn’t argued with him that night you would’ve been right by his side. Maybe if you hadn’t told him you hated him, he’d be downstairs watching football. Maybe just maybe you’d still have your best friend.

──⋆

After your dad’s funeral, you ended up finding his guitar collection. He never let you touch his instruments, he’d say that you would have a chance to keep all of it one day. You didn’t know it then but he had been planning that day to come sooner than expected.

You never found a note. And you resented him for it. You would spend day after day thinking that you may have triggered him into doing what he did and you still think that from time to time. Your mom tried to explain it wasn’t your fault but you could tell she couldn’t see you the same way.

She didn't know why she felt the way she did about you. Maybe you reminded her too much of your father. Maybe deep down she thought you had something to do with his death. Yet she always reminded you that you were her daughter and that she loved you.

Your dad left a will for you guys, money divided for all of you once you all turned of age. His famous car collection went to Quinn as he knew that Quinn would always sneak out and borrow them from time to time, The beach house that Riley loved so much would go to her, and you would have the honor of having his instruments.

You never once entered the music room without his permission and the fact that you were now allowed to go in without him by your side made you wonder what he would’ve said if he had been there when you first unlocked the door.

Your dad’s companies immediately went to your mom, she had decided that it was too soon to give the business over to Quinn and Riley and they agreed they’d take over once they felt ready.

──⋆

The band came about when your mom held a small get-together to celebrate your dad's legacy.

You had met Cleo shortly after your dad's passing, you were at the beach and it was like your dad sent a guardian angel to you. She knew how to uplift you and came over almost every day after that. You never really asked about where she stayed as she would often avoid the question but she had told you that she met her boyfriend and his friends and would often hang out with them. Your mom enjoyed her company and your sister surprisingly did too, Quinn didn’t care much but they all saw how much she helped you with coming to terms with his death.

Jace was always around figure eight. You never knew what a pogue was doing around the area, especially because you’d never see him with anyone. You ended up bumping into him a couple of times. He always apologized with a slight bow and walked away before you could say anything and one random day you finally got to say something faster than he could apologize “You seem to really like bumping into me” and ever since that day you guys kind of just clicked. He was a great listener and a great writer. You found out he would come to Figure Eight to hook up with Sidney Florence, some kook girl you’d always see at school, she was quiet and charming but she didn’t like being seen with him.

Ryder Beckett. He worked for your dad and you grew up with him and his dad coming over to help with some yard work. You guys often played while his dad did whatever he needed to get done at the house. Once y’all grew up he decided to start working for your dad, and you didn’t mind cause you would often chat while he did yard work once in a while you’d invite Jace and you’d all just talk and help him out. One thing about him is that he knows how to charm people, probably the nicest guy you’ve ever met. You always say that he’s too nice for his own good and he’d only say that he couldn’t help it. You often helped him out and added a bit more money to his paycheck, he would insist that the money he was making was enough but you knew he needed it for his mom. You always have had a soft spot for him.

You often heard of Kai as he was always in trouble with the law. The first time you met him was when you were at school, well you were skipping class with some friends and somehow you guys ended up at the beach, one of the girls had asked if you would accompany her to the bathroom and you guys ended up at a small antique store as you waited you spotted him hiding under a table and accidentally laughed a little too loud causing his attention to direct towards you “Trying to blow my cover?” was what he said before getting discovered by the store manager who kicked him out. After you guys got out the front door he happened to be waiting right there for you “You owe me a drink.” And that one drink turned into you, Jace, and Ryder hanging out at your place and soon enough it was all five of you.

Jace wrote and produced your music, he also knew how to sing, Cleo knew how to play the keyboard, Ryder played both electric and acoustic guitar but stuck to the acoustic, Kai did a bit of everything but stuck with drums, and you were convinced by Jace to sing alongside him and you often used the electric guitar.

Cleo had come up with the name VelvetWaves due to the fact y’all were eating the red velvet cake by the beach. You guys laughed at the name at first but it stuck.

You guys worked on music that whole summer not once leaving the room and Jace insisted on capturing every single moment on camera. You think it was the first time you were able to relax and have genuine fun for the first time in a while but that didn’t last long.

Your mom had decided that you would benefit from going to New York and staying with your aunt for your Junior year. You didn’t have much of a choice to stay so you left for that school year.

The band decided to release music although you were apart from them and it caught some attraction from not only people in the Obx but some people from outside the state.

You didn’t know it then but even the person you had dumped and ghosted was tuning into the music. He smiled at the thought of you finally pursuing your dreams and the world seeing your talent. He felt hurt that you left without letting him properly say goodbye but he knew it was for the best.

The day you returned from New York you guys released your biggest song yet and it was most obviously about that special someone. He knew, your siblings knew, your other friends knew, and even his new girlfriend knew.

And soon enough you’d bump into the other guy that was tuning into your music. The guy who seems to have always been attracted to you yet never found the courage to go up to you

VELVETWAVES OFFICAL

MASTERLIST CHAPTER ONE

Hello! Hope you guys enjoyed this, I’m not entirely comfortable when writing so it might be mid but hey! womp womp

[bloodinwine]

I don't know you, I love you Chapter One: The Sweet Spot [read on a03] pairing: astarion X effy (female OC)

it's love at first sight except it doesn't feel like the first time

It was four-o-clock on a Sunday at The Sweet Spot. Everything was 10% off and they had a buy-one-get-one free deal on lube. Management (also known as Mama) had been trying to sell overstock for weeks but still refused to budge on markdown.

Goblin dildos were so 1799.

It was 1800 and orcs were in.

The store was dead.

From behind the counter, Effy was humming to a song playing off her Chest of Chords while zeroing in on the store’s front window–the only one it had. It gave her a rectangular view of the sky, as colorful as the wall of vibrators below it.

Oranges, pinks and purples.

When all the colors went away, Effy bid the sun farewell and another day of hours wasted.

“Hey.”

A set of keys were slapped onto the counter by a hand covered in dried paint.

Effy looked up at Charity who was pulling a hood over her bright, blue hair.

“I’m heading out now, you take over,” she said.

Effy stood up fast, red heels clacking as she tried to catch up to her sister already heading for the door. “Chari, no! Please don’t go. I don’t want to be by myself tonight. Can’t you just–”

Chari sighed. “Stop it, Eff. You know I’m running out of time to prepare for the gallery .”

Effy hugged Chari’s arm. “But what am I to do for the next three hours? We haven’t had a single customer in the last three. Not one.”

Chari pried herself free, which wasn’t hard for her to do; she was much stronger. “Well … maybe Pete from BG-Mobile will come over to pay a visit.”

Effy cringed, her whole body rejecting the thought. “Okay, you can go now.”

“Don’t forget to drink water, love you, bye.”

“Don’t forget I’m your favorite sister, love you, bye.”

The bell above the door chimed as Chari left and the door closed behind her.

Effy sighed and walked to the window’s edge, checking to make sure Chari got in her car safely. Knowing she was watching, her little sister saluted her before pulling away.

Gods. She’d much rather tag along to help prepare for Chari’s art show. But someone had to watch the store. The downside of family business was that sometimes it was all business and no family.

Effy walked slowly from the end of the window to the other, from the welcome sign to a small corner shelf of erotica. She could follow Chari’s buggy this way—just until she’d hit a stop sign before veering right and disappearing completely from view. But just as Chari rolled to a stop, the point of Effy’s heel kicked into something.

She looked down. Her gaze landing on the new shipment of dildos Mama says her friend Stormie swears by. The box was half open, Chari must have forgotten to unpack it. Effy glanced back out the window, but her sister was already gone.

“Be safe, babyblue,” she said.

Well … back to work.

Effy opened the box and shielded her eyes from a sudden flash of brilliance. When her eyes adjusted, she looked back down at what had to be the shiniest, most golden dildos she’d ever seen. She pulled one out, stood up and smacked it into her other hand to test its weight.

Hmm. It was nice. Solid. Had good density. Effy became curious to learn its name.

“The Cock of Lathander,” she read. Above the title was a sticker, celebrating the turn of the century.

1800–the era of dreams. 

Meh. Effy had enough of those. In most of them she was being whisked away to freedom by some handsome man who was obsessed with her.

Speaking of, maybe after she put all these dildos away she could play Eternal Nights on her faePhone. As of last night (very late into the night), she needed to make a choice. Prince Kieran had given her an ultimatum to choose him, or his sworn enemy, the dark knight—Phoenix. Prince Kieran was so very handsome and very sweet, but Phoenix …

A distant rumble from outside yanked her from her thoughts and Effy looked back out the window. A black bike sped down the road, except this was no ordinary bike. A shadow clung to its sleek shape, flickering in its ghostly headlights. Effy watched in awe, as those very same lights veered into the parking lot.

She recognized it; at the club, men often talked about getting one.

The Wraith—fastest bike there ever was. It made her poor Ruby look like the ugliest car there ever was.

Please don’t park next to me. Pleaseee.

The man–judging from his form–did not. Thank the gods.

He parked under the only lamplight, closer to BG Mobile. Tendrils of shadow dissipated when he turned the engine off. By now, Effy’s face was practically smooshed to the glass as he swung his leg off the bike in a motion so sensual, it made her jealous of the seat he’d been riding.

He grabbed underneath his full helmet and removed it, revealing white curls and pointed ears. With the helmet tucked under his arm, he began to walk. And Effy quickly realized it was in her direction.

“Fuck.”

She took a few steps back from the wall and realized she was still holding the Cock of Lathander in her hands.

“Fuck!” The dildo was chucked back into the box, and the box was picked up just as quickly. But Effy miscalculated the weight and dropped it and watched a sea of the Sun god’s dick hit the floor and flop around her feet—just as the bell to the front door chimed.

Mortified, she slowly looked up.

The man was looking down at the mess she made with a raised brow and half a smile before he lifted his face to her.

His eyes were red. Beautiful.

And for some reason, so heart-wrenchingly familiar.

“Have we met before?” she thought to ask.

But he beat her to it.

[dungeefox]

Love's Encore — H.J.S

Love has a profound impact on a person. It can either shatter you or transform you into something even more beautiful. I made the mistake of falling in love; I fell for Hong Joshua.

pairing: joshua x oc

genre: ANGST, fluff

wc: 12k+

warnings: toxic/abusive boyfriend (NOT JOSHUA), implied sex (no actual smut)

a/n: comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated 🥹💖

Love has a profound impact on a person. It can either shatter you or transform you into something even more beautiful. I made the mistake of falling in love; I fell for Hong Joshua.

With him, there was never a dull moment. Being by his side made the world seem vibrant and alive. He had this remarkable talent for making even the simplest things stand out.

Perhaps it was his smile, his laughter, or maybe it was the way he helped me embrace joy in the present moment.

Now, I find myself hopelessly gazing at the ghost of my lover. All the features that captivated me are gone. His face is now expressionless and dull, devoid of that cherished smile I held close to my heart. He feels empty, and in turn, so do I. Our room, once warm and brimming with passion, has turned cold and lifeless.

Joshua leans against the bedroom doorframe, his arms crossed as if to shield himself from the moment. Meanwhile, I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to say what I already know is coming.

I feel exposed and weak, like a prey that has received its final blow, barely clinging to life. I silently plead for him to break the suffocating silence.

Love often makes you oblivious. It blinds you to your past self. But I loved myself with him—didn’t he love himself with me too?

I was naive; I should have seen that Joshua wanted to end things. I should have noticed his increasing silence. The laughter had faded, and the jokes were gone. His love for playful pranks disappeared, along with the texts I secretly adored throughout the day and the spontaneous gifts or flowers.

He became like static, a shadow of his former affectionate self. How did I miss that he hadn’t touched me in ages? My rose-colored glasses led me to attribute his behavior to work stress, and I didn’t even think to ask.

Finally, he gathered the courage to speak. The intake of his breath sliced through the heavy tension in the room. My heart thundered, pounding against my ribs so fiercely that I feared they might crack.

“Let’s break up.”

There it was—a love that had once been so innocent, now turned sour and cynical.

𓂃۶ৎ

That night, I went to bed without shedding a tear. I had anticipated being on my knees, pleading for him to stay, expecting to sacrifice my dignity for another chance. But instead, I found myself calm, allowing him to walk away. As the door clicked shut, I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the emptiness within me envelop me.

I propped myself up, feeling sore and weighed down. I opened the curtains to let the sunlight in, welcoming its warmth on my skin. My hand brushed against the empty sheets as I clutched the fabric tightly.

Was my body shutting down? I think I might be in shock.

I feel numb. Life continues to move forward. I’m still breathing, and despite my heart aching, it still beats. My life didn’t end last night simply because I was left behind. I can only wonder what he might be thinking. I should despise him, yet all I can ask is whether he is happy. He probably doesn’t care about my feelings right now; he might even be content.

I let myself sink back onto the mattress, my hair fanned out across the silk pillows. So many memories were created in this bed. I can recall everything, including the moment we first met. That's the nature of break-ups; it feels as if there’s a rewind button that allows you to revisit and analyze where things went wrong. I close my eyes and let the memories wash over me, each one vivid and clear.

𓂃۶ৎ

We met during twilight. It was springtime, the weather just right—not too hot and not too cold. The atmosphere was perfect. Seoul buzzed with both tourists and locals. After studying for what felt like ages, I craved some fresh air. So, I chose to visit my favorite bookstore to grab a newly released title that had just hit the shelves.

As I stepped into the store, the delightful aroma of books and coffee enveloped me. Each visit brought a sense of calm; this place was my sanctuary.

“You’re looking good,” the clerk, Jun, told me. “Did you do something different with your hair?” He asks, raising a brow.

Shaking my head, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I haven’t. But, thank you for the compliment, Jun.” Adding to the comedic effect, I winked at him. He chuckled.

Then, like a light bulb lit up over his head, he lifts a finger and beckons for me to come over. When I walk too slowly, he hurries me to move faster. “You see over there?” He points to the far shelf in the right corner of the store. I hum. “We just got the newest copy from your favourite author. It’s the only one, though, so I’d hurry before anyone else takes it.”

A radiant smile spread across my face. I was so thrilled that I instinctively pulled Jun into a quick hug before darting over to the shelf. Fortunately, the area was empty, which was great news because it seemed like this book was destined to be mine.

Little did I realize how mistaken I was.

My hand reached out for the book, and I had a solid grip on it. However, I soon discovered that someone else was holding on as well. We both tugged at the same moment, but I was determined and refused to release my hold. Clearly, I had gotten to it first, so this other person needed to let go.

I sigh in exasperation. “Excuse me?” I hear a voice call. A male, and to be honest, he had quite a lovely voice. We stop our little game of tug-of-war.

“Yes?” The mystery person laughs in a low, breathy tone. “If you let the book go, I swear I won’t run away or anything. I want to make a deal.”

I found it peculiar that someone would be eager to negotiate over a book; it didn't seem that significant. Yet, for some reason, I went along with it. As I made my way to one end of the aisle, I noticed the footsteps of this stranger following me. I have a tendency to keep my gaze fixed on my feet while walking.

When I finally looked up, I was taken aback by the sight of a striking stranger. He was impeccably dressed, sporting a cream-colored long coat, chocolate brown trousers, and a baby blue turtleneck. His ashy brown hair was quite charming, and he wore the most adorable round glasses.

Snapping me from my slight trance, he asks, “This is the book you wanted, right?” I nodded dumbly. I felt like I couldn’t properly formulate any words right now, so I didn’t want to look like an idiot and stutter in front of him.

The male smiles and scrunches his nose. About that deal, how about you read it first,” He takes my hand with his free one and places the book in it. “But, when you’re done reading it, you call me so we can exchange. Deal?”

I tilt my head to the side. “Wouldn’t there be another copy by the time I’m done, though?”

He bobs his shoulders. “It’s a limited edition.”

“Oh.” I blush in embarrassment. I thought he was actually trying to make a pass at me. Not that I’d complain, he’s very handsome. I nod and stick out my hand. “Give me your phone so I can give you my number.”

We exchange devices, writing each other’s contacts down.

Joshua. That’s his name. It’s a nice one.

“Well...” I pause, reading his name again. “Joshua. I’ll read this and you’ll be getting a call from me in about two days.” I do an ‘OK’ motion with my fingers. Without saying anything else to him, I turned on my heel, and I was about to pay for the book. That was until I was stopped in my tracks when Joshua called for my name unsurely.

“Do you want a coffee?” Joshua asks, his thumb jutting towards the café in the back. “If you’re paying for our book, I feel like I should get you something.”

Our book.

I hesitantly bit my lip as I glanced at the clock; it was 6:14 p.m., and I knew I should head back home. I still had more studying to tackle and a paper to begin. On top of that, who knows if my roommate might come searching for me?

My lips twist to the side, and I can tell by the look on Joshua’s face that he’s waiting for my answer. Whatever.

“Sure,” I shrug. It wouldn’t kill anyone. I’ll only be away for a few hours. I smile, and the man in front of me mirrors my expression. “I really like iced matcha,” I add.

He raised an eyebrow. “Iced matcha? Hmm, I would have thought someone like you would prefer something as cute as a strawberry Frappuccino.”

“Oh really?” I retorted, folding my arms across my chest. “What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re cute.”

I blinked, quickly turning my face away to hide the blush creeping onto my cheeks. “W-well, perhaps you shouldn’t be so quick to judge.” Ugh. I can’t believe I stuttered.

Joshua cocks his head to the empty chairs and tables. “Then we should find us a spot where we can get to know each other more.”

Quite flushed and embarrassed, I walked past him and chose a table where we could see a view of everything outside. From this spot, you could see the people travel back and forth like clockwork. Small children, couples, old people, young people. Any and everybody was in my view, and I seemed to like it more than any landscape.

“What’s on your mind?” Joshua sets my drink in front of me. “You have this certain look on your face,” he observes, analyzing my face further.

I shake my head. “Just enjoying the view outside.”

Joshua leans to catch a glimpse of the crowd beyond the glass. He scrunches his face. “But all you can really see is just people....” he points out, as if it’s obvious. It makes sense that he would say that, most people prefer a clear view of skyscrapers without any distractions.

“I appreciate the variety of people outside. That’s all,” I reply, wrapping my lips around my straw to take a sip of the sweet, cold drink. Joshua rests his chin in the palm of his hand, watching me intently. I swallow and ask, “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” he replies, a grin spreading across his lips. “You’re just very...interesting.”

I clear my throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the attention. He must think I’m strange. “In what way?”

Taking a long sip from his drink, he says, “I admire the way you think.” My cheeks flush, and I quickly change the topic to avoid further embarrassment. “How old are you?”

With a playful smirk, Joshua leans in closer. “How old do I look?”

I furrow my brows, honestly assessing him. He doesn’t seem much older than me, but his attire suggests otherwise. “Twenty-five?” I guess.

The guy bursts into laughter, quite loud. “You’re too kind. I’m actually twenty-seven.” Shit. He’s significantly older than I am, so there's no chance he would take me seriously. “And you?”

“Twenty-two,” I reply softly, my focus shifting as I chew on my straw. My gaze drifts to Joshua when I realize he hasn’t responded. I was right.

What catches me off guard is the gentle smile that appears on his face. “I don’t see anything wrong with that. For me, age doesn't matter.” Suddenly, he waves his hands and adds quickly, “I mean that in the least creepy way possible.”

I laugh lightly. “No need to worry. I thought you might treat me differently once you learned my age.”

“I’m having too much fun to feel any differently.”

A flutter of butterflies fills my stomach. His relaxed compliments are making the atmosphere feel more charged than it actually is. “Do you have the time, love?” Joshua asks, prompting me to check my phone. It’s exactly 7 PM, and I share this with him. It's surprising how quickly those forty-five minutes have passed.

It happened without either of us truly realizing it. Still, I enjoyed how effortlessly our conversation flowed. I’d hate to resort to clichés and claim it’s love at first sight, but this is certainly the first time I’ve found myself attracted to someone right from our initial meeting.

“You don’t mind that I keep you for a bit longer?’ I shake my head, and with a breezy smile, I tell him, “I’ve got no other plans, so I don’t see why not.”

𓂃۶ৎ

That was one of the most memorable first dates I’ve ever experienced. I’m not even sure we can truly label it as our first date, but it marked the start of something special between us. We spent the entire night until closing time getting to know each other. Reflecting on it now, I realize what drew me to him so quickly was his playful flirtation. I hadn’t even considered asking him out; my plan was to text him after finishing my novel, and then we would go our separate ways. However, Joshua took the initiative, and from that night forward, we frequently texted and called each other.

During those late-night conversations, I found myself grinning like a fool, sharing thoughts on whatever popped into our heads. Joshua had a way of making reality feel like a dream, and that was his greatest charm.

—

The second official meeting between us occurred during my roommate Soonyoung's birthday party. A few boys he collaborated with on a project were invited, along with some additional friends. I believe I had crossed paths with a few of them on campus once or twice. Since it was a small gathering, decorating our apartment was quite manageable. Drinks were set out in charming little cups, and food was displayed on the counter.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, startling Soonyoung, who was in the bathroom. “Could you get that?” he called, still busy getting ready. He frowned when I laughed at his appearance, but instead of reprimanding me, he simply grumbled.

“Just go get the damn door.” With a string of curse words muttered under his breath, the knocks continued. “Alright, alright, I’m coming.” I flung the door open, and a line of boys entered, greeting me as they stepped into our cozy home. However, the last boy who walked in was someone I recognized all too well.

At first, I didn’t recognize him, but as I took a closer look, I realized it was Joshua. “Didn’t your mother teach you that staring is impolite, love?” he teased, winking at me, making my breath hitch. “Good thing I don’t mind.” He extended his hand for me to take, which I did with a hint of hesitation. Pulling me deeper into the house, he kicked the door shut with his heel. “Let’s go.”

Joshua looked completely different from the last time I saw him. He was no longer the slender young man I had met at the bookstore; instead, he exuded a more alluring vibe. His hair was tousled and stylishly messy. He donned an orange plaid checkered flannel shirt, which reflected his warm personality, along with some denim boyfriend jeans.

To top it off, he wore a beaded necklace. Meanwhile, I had just thrown on whatever I could find in my closet.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” Joshua whispers in my ear as he leans over to grab drinks for us both.

I was taken aback. Can this guy really read minds? “Here,” he says, handing me a red solo cup while he swiftly downs his drink. Soonyoung prides himself on being a bit of a mixologist, so I have no clue what he’s brewed up in this batch of liquor he prepared for our guests. I can only imagine he went all out since it’s his birthday celebration.

As Joshua gulped down the drink, his face contorted in disgust, and he even shouted at the unpleasant flavor. It was quite entertaining, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his animated reaction. He tilted his chin toward me, likely curious about why I hadn’t taken a sip yet.

“I’m not really into drinking; I’m perfectly fine with a soda.” I chuckle nervously, setting the drink down. Joshua gazes at me with an unreadable expression, and I suddenly feel a pang of guilt. He must think I’m lame. “S-sorry.”

He exhales softly, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Just wait here for a sec, okay?” Before I can respond, Joshua disappears through the door. He’s gone for about five minutes, and I’m left wondering where he went. When he returns, he’s holding a can of coke and turns the can toward me.

“You said you prefer a soda, right?”

“I would have settled for water; you didn’t need to do that.” I reach into my pocket for my wallet. “Let me pay you back.”

When I offer him some cash, he silently declines and pushes the fizzy drink into my hands. “Thanks,” I murmur quietly.

I expect Joshua to join his friends, but he merely purses his lips and furrows his brow.

“What’s wrong? You must think I’m pretty lame, huh?”

He furrows his brows even more. “Because you don’t want to drink?” When I look away without answering, he realizes he’s gotten his response.

Joshua chuckles. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he says lightly. “You know what you like and don’t like. I think it’s really cool that you’re not giving in to the pressure of what everyone else is doing.”

My cheeks flush at his words. “You should tell that to the other friends I have in uni.” I laugh, trying to ease the awkwardness I’ve created.

Joshua rolls his eyes, grabbing an empty cup and the coke from me. He pours the drink into the cup and returns it once it’s filled. “You don’t have to listen to them. After all, you’re your own person, princess.” I look at Joshua with newfound admiration. He’s as intelligent as he is fun-loving, and I find myself envious. I’ve always wanted to be that adventurous, but I’ve always been more of a bookworm who prefers staying in.

“So what if you like soda instead of vodka? That’s just who you are. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, make you feel uncool because of trends.” I lick my lips and nod in agreement.

“Hyung!” A guy named Chan calls from across the room, arms wrapped around a girl named Jiah (I think that’s her name; we only met briefly).

Chan waves Joshua over to the group of friends he arrived with. “Come on, you’ve been over there all night!”

Joshua squints at him but doesn’t respond. He turns to me, an apologetic look on his face. “It’s okay,” I urge him playfully. “Go join your friends.” There’s a hint of a smile on his lips, but what surprises me is what he does next.

Before he leaves, he presses a quick kiss to my forehead. I might be reading too much into it, but the fluttering sensation in my stomach doesn’t fade. Soon, most of the partygoers are swaying from the alcohol and laughing loudly at things that probably aren’t that funny.

About four more people join us; they’re classmates of Soonyoung’s with whom he’s become close. Soonyoung and I are in the same university, but we’re actually two years apart in age. Even though he’s my senior, I see him more like a brother.

With music playing and people dancing, Mingyu and a girl named Harin are partners, looking amusing with their dancing. Joshua has everyone laughing with his ridiculous moves.

While I do what I usually do, I stay back and watch everyone enjoy themselves. It’s not that I don’t want to join in; I just prefer observing. I guess I’m a bit of a wallflower.

“You’re not much of a party person, are you?” Joshua sits down next to me on another bar stool.

I shrug. “It’s nice to get out sometimes. I just struggle with interacting.” I mentally chastise myself; I probably sound so dull right now. “I-I mean, I’m having a good time. I’m just really awkward, as you can tell.”

Joshua doesn’t seem put off by my words; in fact, he looks like he’s trying to suppress a laugh. “You’re so cute.”

I groan and look him up and down. “You’re way cuter.”

In that moment, a newfound bravery changes everything. It feels like I’ve let Joshua into my little bubble. He raises an eyebrow and leans closer. “I can show you just how cute you are, but I’ll save that for later.”

I release a shaky breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I want to ask what he means, but I think I get it. Joshua leans back slightly, resting his elbow on the bar and taking his gaze off me. “How was the book? Have you finished it?” he asks, shifting the subject.

“Mhmm,” I hum. “I have it in my room.” I clear my throat, squeezing my eyes shut as I prepare to say something bold. “Y-you can come have it once the party is over.”

“I’d love to.” He replies. Most guys would have other intentions if invited into my room, but Joshua seems different. “I think everyone’s ready to head out anyway.”

He’s right. Only a few of us remain, and Soonyoung is passed out drunk on the couch.

“Let me help Soonyoung to bed, and then we can go.” Joshua nods, and I hurry to help my friend up. He whines at the disturbance and rolls his head onto my shoulder.

I do my best to place him on his bed. “Where are you going?” he mumbles sleepily, eyes still closed.

“To bed. Sleep well and happy birthday, love you lots, tiger.” I whisper, setting a tablet of Advil and a glass of water on his bedside table. Soonyoung chuckles softly, getting comfortable as he burrows deeper under his blankets. “Love you too, kid,” he slurs before drifting back to sleep.

I exit his room quietly, finding Joshua already holding his keys and coat. “Ready, babe?”

I sigh. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

We step quietly into my room. I switch on the bedside lamp and cringe at the clothes strewn across the floor and bed. I wish I had cleaned up more. Who could blame me? I never expected a hot guy to be standing in my space.

“Sorry about the mess.” I open my nightstand drawer to fetch the book. “Here, it’s really good. You have to tell me your thoughts on it.” Joshua examines the book and nods in approval. After that, I walk him back to the front door to say goodbye.

There’s a pause filled with a tension I can only describe as pressure. We simply stare at each other, waiting—waiting for what exactly?

“Goodnight, Joshua,” I whisper.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he replies. The low, raspy tone of his voice makes me bite my bottom lip. At that moment, his gaze flickers from my lips to my eyes.

Joshua doesn’t leave; instead, he closes the distance between us, reducing the space until there’s barely any left. I swallow, bracing myself for what’s about to unfold.

“Tell me to stop,” Joshua pleads, but I can hear in his voice that he hopes I won’t.

With only a few centimetres separating our lips, I say, “I don’t want you to.” Joshua cradles my cheek gently as he leans in to kiss me.

𓂃۶ৎ

That was my very first kiss.

Joshua was the one who played a significant role in many of my first experiences. While it may seem silly to wear one of his shirts right now, it feels surprisingly comforting.

As I brush my teeth to prepare for the day, I absentmindedly play with the silver number four on my necklace. For the first time since Joshua left, a single tear escapes, quickly followed by many others, leaving me in a state of hysteria. I rinse my mouth and take a seat on the closed toilet, allowing myself to weep.

This feels great; I really needed this release. I had to let out everything I was holding in. My throat was on fire, and I was aware that my eyes would be swollen, but it didn’t matter to me.

I fisted the trinket, wanting to keep it close. It would probably cause so much more pain than what I’m already in, but if it meant that I would remember him, then it’s worth it.

𓂃۶ৎ

“And for you, sweetheart, here’s a little gift from me.” Joshua stands behind me, adorned in the present he chose for me. It was a beautiful, shimmering gold necklace, 4 inches long, featuring a delicate heart charm.

“Do you like it?” He gently kisses my cheek, a sweet gesture that warms my heart.

“I love it so much, Joshua, thank you.” He smiles that pretty smile I had grown to like more through the months we’ve spent together, dare I say love. Joshua nestles his nose into my neck, inhaling my perfume and nipping the skin.

“I received it since our meeting in April, the fourth month.” I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he pulls me closer by holding my lower back. Standing on my toes, I steal a kiss from him. Joshua had chosen to go all out for my birthday. I had mentioned that I didn’t want much; we had just returned from a lavish dinner that he had treated me to.

“I…” I hold back, fearing that if I utter those words, he might run away.

“Go ahead, say it, baby.” He encourages, giving me a gentle squeeze. “Please.” I was diving deep into my feelings. Although he hadn't formally asked me to be his girlfriend yet, it didn't seem important at the moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too and you drive me so fucking crazy.” His breaths are blowing on my lips. I don’t wait to connect our lips. Joshua holds my thighs and I jump, my legs tangling fervently around his waist. In a moment my back makes contact with the bed. He’s hovering over me, the both of us emitting noises I’ve never heard before. I push his lips apart using this access to slip my tongue into his mouth. My tongue brushes the roof of his mouth earning a moan from him.

I whine when Joshua pulls away. Both of us are panting, and our pupils dilated. “Will you..” Joshua’s chest is heaving, and I can feel his breath hitting my neck. “be my girlfriend?”

I cradle the sides of his face and kiss the apple of his cheek, his nose, then finally plant a kiss to his swollen lips once more. “You didn't even have to ask.”

𓂃۶ৎ

Not only did I become his girlfriend that night two years ago, but I also gave myself to him completely. It was everything I had dreamed of and more. He was affectionate and truly exceptional. Joshua made love to me with the utmost tenderness.

As I gazed into the mirror, a hiccup escaped my lips. At that moment, my phone buzzed; it was a text from my ex.

6:08PM | Josh: I’ll be over tomorrow to get my things

I respond swiftly with a simple, “Okay,” and close the message, unable to tolerate his emotionless reply even in text form.

Biting my thumb, I scroll through my contacts until I find Soonyoung’s number. I call him, and by the third ring, he answers.

“Hello?”

“Soonyoung…” My voice clearly reveals that I've been crying, and he can tell I'm not fooling anyone.

“Hey, hey kid, what’s wrong?” he asks, his tone filled with genuine concern.

Like a dam that breaks, so do my whimpers. I compose myself enough to tell him. “Joshua broke up with me last night,” I take in a huge breath, “C-can you come over please?”

All he does is sigh. “That asshole. I’m coming, don’t do anything crazy.”

It wasn't long before he arrived at my house. His frantic knocking suggested he was quite worried. I shuffled my way to the front door, dragging my feet. As soon as I opened it, Soonyoung enveloped me in a warm embrace. He guided me to the couch and gently squeezed my shoulders before rushing off to my kitchen.

A moment later, Soonyoung returned with two beers in hand, placing one in front of me while cracking open the other for himself.

“So,” He pauses to take a sip. “When do you want me to kill him?” As the older one between us, Soonyoung has looked after me like an older brother or father figure. His protective nature brings the faintest smile to my face. However, I quickly recall the reason for his presence, and tears begin to well up once more.

I shake my head, allowing my tears to fall onto my palm. I shrug and say, “He left me.” There isn’t much more to add.

It’s quite straightforward: Joshua left me.

“That’s it?!” Soonyoung exclaims, his eyes wide and his face contorted in disbelief. I nod, watching as his expression softens, likely realizing that it’s better not to raise his voice right now. He seems more upset than I am, and I can understand why; I would feel the same if I were in his position.

With a sigh, my friend rubs his temples. “What exactly did he say? Were you two arguing for a while?”

I find myself pondering that question too. I’m unsure why Joshua abruptly wanted to break up. To me, everything seemed fine; I loved him, and I believed he loved me in return. Clearly, I was mistaken.

“He just said we should break up,” I reply, my throat feeling scratchy and dry like sandpaper. Taking a deep breath, I rest my forehead in my hands. “And I just let him go.” I exhale, feeling my throat tighten. “We weren’t fighting; everything was fine between us. Or so I thought.”

“Jesus...” Soonyoung mutters in horror, opening his arms for me. He rubs my back and lets me sob on his shoulder, not caring that I was wetting his blouse. His cheek is on top of my head as he whispers that everything will be okay, and that he was stupid for letting someone like me go. “Oh kid,” he calls for me gently, pulling away and wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I sniffle. “I’m so stupid, right?”

The look in his eyes is something like pity or maybe it was sympathy. “No, no, I know you loved him,” he starts, and hearing him say that makes my heart clench. I did love him, and I still do love him.

“And I know that you shared a lot of things with him.” It was true, aside from being my boyfriend, Joshua was my best friend. “You didn’t let him go, so don’t blame yourself. It was him. He’s stupid. He didn’t have the balls to look back and see what he’s leaving behind.”

“I guess.” My tone was dry and monotonous.

Soonyoung takes me back into his arms like a father would, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

I made a mistake. While I may not have died last night, two years of my life certainly did. And that part of me simply walked out the door.

𓂃۶ৎ

I rarely run, but right now, it feels necessary. I need to clear my mind. Being surrounded by pictures and memories is driving me crazy, and I have to escape it. My phone buzzes, but I choose to ignore it and start my run.

The weather outside reflects my mood perfectly. It’s dark, overcast, and there’s even a light drizzle. Yet, it feels invigorating, and despite my sweat causing my clothes to cling to me, I don’t mind. With each step I take, I release all my pent-up frustrations.

My boyfriend left me without any explanation, like a ghost that simply vanished. I think I’ve entered the anger phase of grief.

Was I not enough for him? Did I fail to make him happy? What did I do wrong?

I can’t run any longer; my lungs feel as if they’re burning, and this path is unfamiliar to me. I gasp for breath, the cold air mixing with my body’s heat. As I pause, emotions I had suppressed—fear, pain, and anger—rise to the surface. I release it all with a piercing scream, crouching down on my knees and wailing uncontrollably.

Did I care about the curious glances from other runners? Not at all. All I wanted was to return to my apartment and collapse into sleep. Rather than running home, I chose to walk, taking my time.

However, when I finally stepped into my apartment, I was met with the last thing I expected.

“I-I thought you were coming tomorrow?” The fear in my voice was unmistakable. My heart raced, feeling as if it might explode from pounding so fiercely. As I gazed at the back of my boyfriend—now my ex—I swallowed hard and fought to blink away the pounding headache that was creeping in.

He was holding something but placed it down and turned to face me. It's hard to believe that just a day apart has left us feeling like complete strangers. Building relationships takes years, yet it only takes a moment to shatter one.

I study him closely. He looks fine; there are no dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn’t appear to have been crying—he seems entirely normal. In fact, he looks annoyed to find himself in the same space as me. I had no clue he would be here, so his anger seems unwarranted.

“I texted you.” He gestures toward my bag as he speaks. For a brief moment, I relish the sound of his voice; it's still sweet like honey, yet now it feels cold and devoid of emotion. It's a bittersweet experience, but at least it's him. Joshua clears his throat and rolls his eyes. “Did you hear me?”

I must’ve been staring off into space. I shake my head. “Sorry. W-what did you say?”

This time, he lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair. “You know what?” Joshua says with a sense of defeat, lowering his hands to his sides. “I’ll just come back tomorrow.” He grabs the box containing a few shirts and pictures, brushing past me. I refuse to let him slip away again.

I grasp his arm, halting his departure. I’m taken aback that he doesn’t shake me off.

“P-please don’t go,” I beg, our backs turned to each other. A heavy silence hangs in the air.

“Please, don’t leave me, Joshua.” I bite the inside of my cheek, struggling against the stinging sensation that wells up behind my eyes. I’m not sure what I truly anticipated, but I never imagined I would hear Joshua say something so cold as, “Let me go.”

His words carried a double meaning. It was a plea to release him physically and to finally let go of him. Both were unbearable for me, yet I did it for his sake.

Gradually, I loosened my grip, and in an instant, he was gone.

𓂃۶ৎ

Time indeed has a way of healing. A year and a half after my well-known breakup with Joshua, I pushed myself to move forward. Deep down, I didn’t want to accept it, but it was clear that Joshua no longer cared for me, and it was time to stop wasting my energy on him. While I don’t harbor the same level of hatred as Soonyoung does, I can’t deny that I still have some lingering affection for him.

I was quite young when I first met Joshua, which is why that initial heartbreak was so difficult. Now that I have matured, I’ve encountered better men, including my current boyfriend. Many women are drawn to him, and I completely understand why. He’s attractive, tall, and strong—truly the ideal partner.

“Hajoon,” I called out to my boyfriend while swirling my coffee with the mixer. The guy across from me, absorbed in his phone, replied with a grunt. I tossed the stirrer aside and let out a sigh.

“You said we could go to dinner tonight.”

In terms of looks, my boyfriend is perfect, but personality-wise, he tends to be a bit lazy. Despite his flaws, he treats me well, and I appreciate him for that.

He shrugged. “Yeah, but you need to cover the bill this time.”

I let out a groan. “I covered the bill last time...and the times before that.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Hajoon scoffed, stashing his phone away and sitting up straight. “I’ll take care of it next time. So, are we going or not?” he challenged.

Not wanting to escalate the situation, I took a sip of my coffee and replied, “It’s okay, we can do something else tomorrow or maybe this weekend. I’m swamped with work, and Soonyoung wants to hang out.” I flashed him my best smile, but it only earned me another eye roll.

Just as the tension between us grew, Hajoon’s phone rang, and he quickly answered it.

“Yes, hyung?” I want to avoid giving the impression that I'm eavesdropping, so I keep myself occupied by scrolling through social media. Nothing really grabs my attention until I come across a photo of an old high school friend, posing under my ex's arm.

So, he has moved on as well?

I shouldn't feel hurt by this, but it brings a bittersweet smile to my face. This girl has had a crush on Joshua ever since I introduced them.

𓂃۶ৎ

“Come on, Aerin, you know I don't do that.” I emphasize once again that Aerin wants me to go clubbing, which is far from my scene—I really don’t enjoy it at all.

She whines, pulling at my arm. “Don’t be such a downer!” She playfully swats my arm. “You’re killing the vibe! We’re twenty-two; we’re meant to have a good time!” I choose to ignore her, adjusting my bag higher on my shoulder and picking up my pace.

"We should go on a double date! I can invite this Vernon, and you can bring your boyfriend!" I might have been reading too much into it, but it seemed like she was more thrilled about the idea of me bringing Joshua along.

That makes sense; he's quite popular and well-liked. However, I can't help but feel that Aerin might have a bit of a crush on him. Scrunching my nose in thought, I let out a sigh and reluctantly pulled out my phone to text Joshua. "Alright," I mutter. It took him less than two minutes to respond, and to my dismay, he said yes.

Aerin waits anxiously, especially when she notices my gloomy expression. “He said he’d love to come."

“Yes!” She leaps in excitement, earning a puzzled glance from me. She then jumps onto my back, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “This is going to be so much fun! Go home and change into something pretty! I’ll see you later; I need to get ready!”

I realize it’s too late to back out with an excuse about feeling unwell, but Aerin wouldn’t hear of it. I followed her advice and headed home, where Joshua also arrived to help me choose the best outfits.

It’s on the third outfit that Joshua smirks, turning my cheeks into a flaming red, and takes my hips, pinning them against his.

“This looks perfect,” He pressed a hot kiss to the sweet spot under my ear. It makes my knees buckle, and I lean onto him for support. Joshua blows cool air onto the spot, holding me steady. “My girl is the prettiest girl on earth.” He states proudly.

Feeling troubled in different ways, I sulk. My boyfriend raises an eyebrow and asks, "What’s bothering you?" I find myself overanalyzing the situation, wondering if Aerin really has feelings for this Vernon guy and is simply thrilled for me. After all, she has always encouraged me to date. Still, I can’t shake off how at ease she seems around him.

I shake my head and reply, “Don’t worry about it.” I brush it off.

He pats my bum, glaring at me for an answer. I try to stare back with the same intensity as him, but I cower and confess.

“I think Aerin has a crush on you,” I whisper, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt.

To my surprise, he bursts into a hearty laugh that sends my heart racing. “Doll, you can’t be serious?”

When he notices my pout and sees that I'm not joking, his laughter gradually diminishes. He nudges me playfully, saying, “Baby, there’s just no way.”

“Feelings aren’t something people can control, Joshua,” I sigh. “She’s beautiful, and who knows what could happen if she decides to flirt with you? You’re mine, and she should keep her distance.”

“Oh, baby,” he says, lifting my chin and gently caressing my lower back while chuckling. “I only have eyes for you, and yes, I’m yours. Besides, Vernon, you, and probably Soonyoung would never let me get away if I make a move on her or anyone else in that matter.”

He’s right. Soonyoung would probably rip him limb from limb. He also knows how much Vernon likes Aerin. Joshua and I both agree that they’d make a pretty cute couple. “You’re such a handsome guy, I can’t help but feel afraid.” I admit, burying my face into his hard chest.

The beat of his heart comforts me, and I feel calm listening to it. “I thought I made it very clear that my girl is the prettiest in the world, did I not?”

“What if I’m not your girl anymore?” I cock my head to the side, waiting for his answer.

With a lopsided boyish grin, he answers, “You’ll always be my girl. I’d stay single forever even if for some reason we aren’t together.” He kisses my forehead, “But, that’ll never happen, you’re too perfect.”

Joshua nibbles at my jawline. I rub his chest, mostly for him to stop, but also enjoying the feeling he gives me. So, really, I don’t want him to stop.

“Joshua,” I breathe. “We’ll never leave if you don’t stop.” Joshua meets my eyes with a lustful gaze, which makes my heart rev in my chest. I gulp, knowing what this look means. He doesn’t say anything but kisses me, hugging me flush against his body. These weren’t the normal kisses. These were hot and heavy, passionate and wanting. The moment my boyfriend threw me on the bed and climbed over me, I was done for.

Neither Joshua nor I went to the club that night or saw Aerin, but instead stayed with each other, not getting any sleep until the early morning hours.

𓂃۶ৎ

“What are you smiling at?” Hajoon inquires, sipping from his straw. “I noticed you were a bit lost in thought after ending your call.”

I must have drifted off into old memories. One thing is certain: Joshua was deceitful, and Aerin had achieved her goal. I shrug my shoulders, saying, “Just reminiscing.”

My phone buzzes twice, revealing a text from Soonyoung, asking for assistance with settling into his new home. “Hajoon, I need to head out,” I say as I tuck my phone away.

“I’ll catch you at the apartment. Are you sure you’ll be okay leaving?” He glances back at his phone, seeming indifferent.

“Yeah,” I reassure him. I rise from my seat and plant a quick kiss on his soft lips to say goodbye.

Although Hajoon and I don’t live together, I spend most of my time at his place. Soonyoung and I need to sort out a few things before I can head to Hajoon’s apartment and spend the rest of the weekend resting. As I drive, my bluetooth notifies me that my mother is calling.

“Hi, Mom.” I greet when I press the button on my steering wheel.

Her voice comes softly when she asks, “Are you driving?”

I hum. “I am,” I pause for a moment, concentrating on switching lanes. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay, I sure would like to see my daughter every once in a while, though." She scolds. Even though I can’t see her, I can almost feel her stare. “But,” She sighs, chuckling a bit. “It’s good to hear from you. How have you been?”

I breathe deeply. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

I rub my temples when I come to a stop light. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

For the most part, I’m okay. Soonyoung and I began working together on designing web pages together and it’s been going well, I love my job. I’m in a stable relationship, I think. What’s there that isn’t fine?

“Just a little stressed, something came up at work.”

There is silence on the other line. “That’s it?”

My mother was always stubborn when it came to issues I may have. In a way, it reminded me of someone I used to know, I chuckle. “I swear I’m okay, Mom.”

She mutters, “Just be strong, everything happens for a reason.” I’ve pulled up to Soonyoung’s driveway and for a moment, I just sit there, letting my mother’s words replay. I worked hard to move along, to forget Joshua, but I can’t forget my first love.

Especially when he left me without a reason. If everything happens for a reason, why couldn’t I get one?

“Mom, I need go, I’ll visit you soon. Okay?”

“Alright, I love you honey.”

We bid our final farewells before hanging up. I slung my purse over my shoulder and walked straight to Soonyoung’s door, knocking a bit loudly due to how noisy it is inside. A boy I recognize as Seokmin, opens the door with a friendly smile. I return one back, or at least I try to.

“Hi. Is Soonyoung home?” Seokmin’s face flashes in surprise and he puts his palm to his forehead.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” He wonders. I raise my eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. Whatever Soonyoung was trying to tell me, I was surely not informed. “He said to hold off on whatever it was you two were supposed to do.”

I nod, trying to hide the irritated expression on my face. I think Seokmin could tell how annoyed I am due to the way I clenched my fist. I love Soonyoung like a brother, but that boy is so unorganized.

“Tell him to call me when he’s ready.” Seokmin smiles uneasily, but agrees with my request. “I’ll make sure to. Drive safely!”

I text Hajoon to tell him that I’ll be at the apartment waiting for him, and much to my luck, traffic isn’t bad at all. I type in the passcode and walk in, taking off my shoes and hanging my purse on the coat rack. I pad my way into the kitchen, only to be surprised when I see dishes in the sink.

That’s odd, this morning the sink was totally clear, and Hajoon has been with me all day. I shouldn’t work myself up, it’s probably nothing, I must’ve left those in there by accident. There isn’t anything for me to really do, so I decide to start cleaning up the mess Hajoon or I must’ve left behind before we left for work earlier today.

There’s a blanket on the couch, one that I know for sure Hajoon doesn’t use, and the smell coming off of it doesn’t smell anything like a woman’s perfume.

“Wait a minute,” I bite on my thumb, Hajoon has a roommate that recently moved in! I was close to going crazy. I fold the blanket, but I can’t shake the familiar scent. It doesn’t smell like Hajoon, it smells like....Never mind.

Once I've finished tidying up, I slip into Hajoon's room, getting cozy in his bed and wrapping myself in his comforters. Even after starting my new relationship with Hajoon, I often feel alone.

With Joshua, I was always in his presence, even if it was just for a quick nap. He was there for me. Hajoon, however, isn't the type to openly express his feelings or be overly affectionate. I appreciate a certain level of clinginess and the reassurance of knowing how someone feels about me. I can’t say Joshua was always transparent with his emotions; he had a talent for concealing things right up until the very end. I let out a frustrated sigh, rolling over and tangling my hair in the pillows.

Why am I thinking about him now? I'm at my boyfriend's house; I should be focused on him, not my ex... the one I'm still struggling to move on from. I suppose it’s true what they say: you never truly get over your first love.

If only I were prepared for the genuine heartache that realization brings. I envy those who marry and start families with their first loves; it feels like a dream to me. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined a long-term future with Joshua. I pictured countless experiences we could have shared that I can't envision with Hajoon.

“Hajoon?”

That voice. No, it can’t be.

I want to get up and see who it is, but my body feels heavy and unresponsive. “Hajoon?” The voice calls out again. I hear footsteps approaching the bedroom, my heart racing and my eyes squeezed shut. Hajoon’s roommate doesn’t enter the room, probably realizing he's not here.

I’m not sure why I feel so anxious; it’s not a crime for Hajoon to have a girl in his room, but the identity of that voice is what makes me uneasy.

Joshua can’t possibly be here; there’s no way that was him.

𓂃۶ৎ

“Babe?” A raspy voice calls out to me. I feel soft kisses being placed on my cheeks, slowly making their way down my neck. Struggling to open my eyes, I glance at the clock.

It’s 2 AM; I must have drifted off. Hajoon is straddling me, leaning down to kiss me more. I'm really not in the mood, and he knows it when I gently push him away.

He lets out an annoyed sigh, tossing himself to the side and wiping his face. I sit up and rub my eyes, slurring, “I’m going to get some water,” as I stand and shuffle toward the kitchen. I flinch at the sight of the lights already on and a figure standing at the opposite counter. Now fully awake, I can't see their face, but I know exactly who it is.

“J-Joshua?”

Upon hearing his name called, he turns around, momentarily looking stunned. However, just like the day he departed, his face soon becomes expressionless. The familiar wave of anxiety washes over me, and I momentarily forget the purpose of my visit. Should I go? Should I say something? What is the right move?

No, I occupy the same space as he does; I shouldn’t leave. I’m supposed to be over him—at least, that’s what I’m convincing myself of. The encounter feels like two strangers meeting for the first time, filled with awkwardness.

I grab the pitcher of water from the fridge and pour it, the sound of water splashing into the cup becoming the only noise between us. The aroma of the ramen he’s cooking fills the air, and I chuckle softly to myself; that was always one of his favorite late-night snacks.

He clears his throat. “So, you’re with Hajoon now?” he asks, turning off the stove and reaching for a pair of chopsticks from the drawer. I can sense his gaze on me. “Yeah,” I reply, taking a slow sip of my water and leaning against the counter. “And you’re with Aerin?”

He scoffs dismissively. “Not a chance.”

I frown; I saw that Instagram picture—what's the point of lying?

“But what about that Instagram picture?”

Joshua looks at me for a moment longer before bursting into laughter, as if I’ve just said something utterly absurd. “That? I was at her wedding. She married Vernon.”

“Oh.” I feel like an idiot. I totally misunderstood the situation.

He rolls his eyes and says, “I already told you I don’t like her.”

I had no idea he would choose to stay single after our breakup. He could have pursued anyone he wanted—someone much better than me, someone prettier, someone with a charisma that would have perfectly complemented his personality. So why had he remained alone all this time while seeming content? Why did I have to endure the pain and face the man who shattered my heart, who acted as if he hadn’t caused me so much grief?

Despite not receiving any answers about why he left, I finally have an opportunity to ask. At first, I remain silent, my lips feeling sealed shut. I struggle to find the courage to pose the question that has been haunting me. Taking a sharp breath, I grip the counter tightly to steady myself. This is my moment.

“W-why did you...” My throat tightens as I speak. Confrontation has never been my strong suit, and he knows it. “Why did you...leave?” I sound so weak and pitiful, and I despise that feeling. I hate being this vulnerable around him. I've moved on; I should be strong and furious. Why can’t I feel anger towards him?

“You never gave me any reason…”

Joshua pauses, looking as though he’s weighing whether to share his thoughts. As I observe him, I’m struck by how much he has changed. He smirks and steps closer.

He cocks his eyebrow, “You really want to know?” I remain silent, yet the expression in my eyes reveals my desperation and urgency. Leaning in closer to my ear, he whispers, “You were dragging me down.”

He has become so skilled at making me cry, which is quite ironic since he always said he couldn't stand to see me in tears. I feel my hand shaking and I ball them into fists. I clench my teeth up until the point where they feel like they’re going to crack. And suddenly, I let it all go. I blink slowly, accepting the fresh wounds he’s given me with grace.

For the first time since I’ve known Joshua, I put him at a loss of words.

“I hate you. I hate you so fucking much, Joshua.”

𓂃۶ৎ

I hurried to Soonyoung's place as soon as I got up. I dashed out of the apartment, giving my boyfriend a quick kiss and promising to call him later. I informed Soonyoung that I needed to see him urgently, and without hesitation, he invited me over.

I knocked on the door a bit too eagerly, and as soon as he opened it, I rushed in and plopped down on the couch.

“What made you wake me up at 9 in the morning AND on a Saturday?” he asked, his eyes flashing with irritation. Mornings aren’t his strong suit, and if I don’t clarify quickly, I might get in trouble.

“I went to Hajoon’s place last night, and I woke up in the middle of the night. When I made my way to the kitchen, his new roommate was there—"

He yelps, his lips twitching in anger, “That’s what you wanted to tell me?!”

“I-it was Joshua. Joshua is his roommate.” I admit quietly.

His expression softened at that moment. He remained silent, so I continued. “I’m not sure what happened. One minute we were quiet, and the next, I blurted out why he ended things with me, and he…”

“He what?” He settled down beside me, gripping my knee tightly, unable to sit still due to the tension.

“Come on!” he urged, shaking me gently. I let out a sigh. “He told me I was holding him back. At first, I was furious, but then I felt calm. I told him I hated him and walked away.” I buried my face in my hands, feeling quite embarrassed as I reflected on it.

It was a complete lie; I don't actually hate him. I was simply reacting to my emotions in the heat of the moment.

When I said that, Joshua appeared genuinely shocked. I’m not sure what that means, but he seemed hurt.

Soonyoung shakes his head and says, "You deserve so much better than him."

He bites his lip and his knee is bouncing. He’s mad, very mad. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to want to kill him even more than I already wanted to before.’’

“I’ll be alright, tiger. Don’t go get him.” I assured him, smiling, hoping it would calm him down.

He turns to me with an unsure look on her face. “You sure? I know where to hide the body.”

I found myself laughing for the first time in ages. “I appreciate your loyalty, but this is a battle I need to fight on my own.” Soonyoung sighed and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“You’re incredibly strong. After everything he’s put you through, you’ve emerged even stronger.”

“I owe that to you. Without your support, I don’t know how I would have managed.” He waved his hand dismissively. Soonyoung isn’t one to accept compliments easily; he dislikes being praised. But I genuinely mean it—he’s been my best friend through this breakup.

It’s Saturday, and I know Soonyoung will want to return to bed, so I embrace him one last time and let him know I’m heading out.

He sees me to the door, and I drive back to Hajoon’s apartment. Unlocking the door, I notice food on the counter with a sticky note attached.

“You weren’t here, so I left this in case you didn’t eat while you were out.”

I can tell it’s not Hajoon’s handwriting, and I’m puzzled as to why Joshua would go through the trouble of cooking for me, especially after last night. I decide to ignore the food; I’m not very hungry.

It seems my boyfriend left shortly after I did because when I snuggle up in our bed, he’s not there. Unable to fall back asleep, I occupy myself by playing games on my phone and mindlessly scrolling through social media.

I have no plans for the day, and I’m uncertain about Hajoon’s whereabouts.

Nature calls, and it appears Joshua and I still share the habit of wanting the same things at the same time.

Our interaction was awkward. All I wanted was to use the bathroom. As I reached for the door, he did the same. His hand brushed against mine but withdrew almost immediately upon contact.

“Sorry,” I mutter, stepping aside for him to go first.

He gestures toward the bathroom, “You can go.” He avoids my gaze, scratching the back of his neck and sighing frequently.

I despise this. Why did we have to cross paths again? He has changed so much. Am I truly the reason for such a significant transformation in him?

I shake my head. “I’ll just wait.” I pivot and leave. Being near him still makes my heart race as it did when we were together.

This time, it’s painful; each breath I took felt effortless before, and I felt at ease. Nothing has shifted within me; I still feel as empty as he left me the first time. I know everything about him, yet I feel so far away, as if I’m viewing him through a glass window.

These brief encounters with Joshua are unavoidable, especially since I partially live with his roommate. If I’m not seeing him, reminders of him linger in my own apartment.

“Um...” Joshua knocks on the door awkwardly. It’s another day where Hajoon is off working and I’m alone. Well, not completely. I raise an eyebrow, waiting for Joshua to speak.

He clears his throat, “Do you want some food? I have leftovers from the other night in the fridge?” I stare at him, and stare, and stare some more until I fix my mouth to ask, “Why are you doing this Joshua?”

He frowns. “Doing what?”

I close my laptop, shifting on the bed where my legs are crossed, “This,” I point between us. “Being nice, why are you doing this?”

Joshua rolls his eyes and digs his hands in his pockets, “What? I can’t be decent to you?” He asks, his tone condescending.

“Oh I’m sorry.” I laugh, too sweetly. “I didn’t know you were so considerate. Let me know where that Joshua was when he left me.”

That’s what did it. Joshua was getting angry, he bit his lip and I could see his cheeks beginning to turn red. I couldn’t control myself, I felt like I had to get this all out. So I did.

“Where was that Joshua when I was alone and mending a broken heart, huh? Where was he? He wasn’t there! You weren’t there!” I hardly raise my voice and Joshua is shocked.

“Oh that’s right!” I angrily wipe tears from my cheeks. “He said I was holding him down!” I laugh hollowly, the ache in my chest constricting my breathing “He never loved me to begin with.”

“Don’t you dare say that.” Joshua snapped. His eyes were cold and glazed with vexation. So this is what it looks like to see Joshua at the end of his patience.

“I...I did everything to remember how I was before I met you. I was different, I spent all my time with you.” Hearing this makes my lip quiver. Joshua sounds so desperate, like he’s pleading for something.

If it’s my forgiveness, he can forget it.

“Being with you made me forget myself. But I loved you, so much to the point where that turned me into something I wasn’t.”

My lips twitched, but I can't bring myself to speak. I wanted to yell more, to ask if that was my fault, but now I was more exhausted than anything.

“You’re with another man anyway. Shouldn’t you have forgotten about me already?” Joshua breathes.

I get off my bed and walk towards Joshua slowly. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but my hand slaps him clean across his cheek. His head is turned from the impact and he hasn’t turned to face me yet.

Now I know what to say.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t throw you away, you were always better than me, you should know better than anyone else on how to do that.” I shove past him, making him lose his footing and stumble a bit.

“Even when he doesn’t treat you right?”

“What?”

He chuckles mockingly. “You’d rather be in a relationship where you’re unhappy than alone?”

I want to turn around and tell him off even more. What’s the point of it though?

“Hajoon doesn’t treat me right, but he’s never lied to me like you did. And he actually fucking communicates.” I take in a shaky breath. Joshua surely knows how to make me reach my breaking point.

“What happens between my boyfriend and I is between us. You already made your choice.”

𓂃۶ৎ

“Do you want to go out tonight?” I sigh. “I’m tired Hajoon... Can we watch a movie or something?”

Ever since that argument with Joshua, I’ve been drained. I haven’t been talking much to anyone lately and I know that I’m going to tell Soonyoung soon enough. I won’t be able to let Hajoon know, that would only cause more problems.

Hajoon clenches his jaw, running his hands through his hair and storms off the couch. I chase after him, stopping him before he opens the door to leave.

“Wait, Hajoon, let’s talk–” He shoves me off of him, a bit too forcefully. His expressions soften, but his frustration returns.

“I’m going out.” He puts it plainly.

I stomp my foot, grabbing his attention. Even though Hajoo is a lot taller than me, I didn’t feel intimidated. “Let’s talk about this, why are you running away?”

“Are you serious?” Hajoon narrows his eyes. “You’re a fucking bore! You never want to do anything! You don’t want to go clubbing, you don’t want to go out to eat! We haven’t had sex in weeks!”

“And I assume you’re going to do all of that once you step out that door?” I challenged, stepping closer to him. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but all of a sudden I’m keeping my ground.

As if to add fuel to the fire, Hajoon smiles sarcastically. “Yes.”

I scoff. “You’re an asshole.”

He roars angrily, a stinging pain coming across my face. “In my house, you speak to me with respect! Do you understand?” I’m too much in shock to answer and the side of my face feels like it’s burning.

The door slams and I flinch. I stand for a little longer, cradling my face. I slide down the wall weeping quietly to myself.

I must’ve sat there for thirty minutes wallowing like that before someone unlocked the door. I’m scared it would be Hajoon, but instead, it was Joshua.

“Hey. Hey, sweetheart, what happened?” He crouches in front of me, moving my hair from my face gently. I try to swat his hands away, but he holds my wrists, inspecting my face to see a bright red mark that would bruise for the next few days.

“Fuck.” Joshua curses the sudden force in his tone surprising me. He notices my reaction and lifts my arm over his shoulder.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.’ Joshua lifts me, balancing me by resting his hand against my stomach. “I’m going to kill that fucker, I swear.” He sits me on the bar stool and runs off to the room Hajoon and I shared. He comes back with my phone and shoes in hand. Joshua wears

My shoes for me and holds my phone, taking me out of the apartment and downstairs to the parking garage.

“I can buckle my seatbelt, Joshua.” I mutter, taking the strap away from him and clicking it in place. Joshua looks worried, his eyes are darting from my eyes to the mark on my cheek. “I’m really tired.”

“Right.” He says hastily, starting the car and driving off. The good thing is I don’t have to give him any directions, since he already knows the way. Once we’re at the complex, he helps me out of the car, but I insist that I can walk on my own.

It’s been a while since I’ve been to my own place, and it’s hard to think right now. Joshua moves me to the side and punches the code in. He remembers.

“I’ll call Soonyoung and leave–“

“Please don’t.” I hold onto his shoulder. The first time I asked him to do this, he told me to get off of him. Now, he’s letting me hug onto him and cry on his shoulder.

“Don’t go again, Joshua. Please? I don’t think I can take it, if you walk away from me again.”

It’s unfamiliar, him wrapping his arms tightly around my middle like this. He tries to hush me and calm me down, but even as we’re curled up together as I try to fall asleep, I just can’t come to stop crying. He presses his lips against my forehead and I rub my thumb on the apple of his cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know, baby, I know…” Joshua tucks the crown of my head under his chin. He uses his free hand to draw random shapes on my back. It calms me, every time I blink I feel it becoming harder to stay awake. “I’m here now, just rest okay?”

It’s almost too good to be true.

I want to ask if this is real, but that would ruin it. Even if I’m imagining this, at least he’s here with me again.

𓂃۶ৎ

I woke up by myself, feeling a wave of panic wash over me until I caught the sound of voices drifting from the kitchen.

“You don’t deserve her, Joshua.” I recognized Soonyoung's voice; that icy tone was meant solely for Joshua.

Joshua let out a sigh. “I’m aware of that, Soonyoung.”

“Then just leave.”

“She… she asked me to stay.”

A heavy silence followed.

“You’re an asshole, do you even realize how much damage you’ve caused her?” He scoffs. “She was so broken because of you, Joshua.”

“I know that, Soonyoung.”

“Did you even love her?”

At this point, I’ve slipped out of the room and into the hallway where they can't spot me. I realize it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but hearing the truth seems worth it.

“I loved her,” he exclaimed, his voice rising. Joshua then coughs and continues in a softer tone, “I still do.”

“Sure,” Soonyoung responds, clearly skeptical of Joshua’s declaration. Meanwhile, I stand there, eyes wide, focused on his back.

He still loves me?

“Is that the reason you ended things with her for no fucking reason?”

“I made a sacrifice; I was beginning to change so much. Change scares me... I felt lost and didn’t know how to handle it. I realize now it was foolish of me, but I realize now it was too late.”

“Sounds like you were saving your own ass.” Soonyoung sneers.

Before this turns into anything too ugly, I step out quietly, gathering both of their attention.

“Joshua,” I curl a hair behind my ear. “Can I talk to you?”

I gave a single nod to Soonyoung, signaling that I was alright.

He takes this as his cue to exit, but not without casting one last scowl at Joshua. Joshua trails behind me as we return to the room, where we sit facing each other on the bed.

This bed holds so much history between us.

“I'm sorry for hitting you the other day. That was… completely out of line,” I say softly. As I look at him now, I notice his hair is tousled and there are slight bags under his eyes. He appears anxious and troubled; this is a new side of Joshua that I’ve never encountered before.

He shakes his head, a gentle smile spreading across his face. “I deserved it. I’m sure you’ve wanted to do that for quite a while.”

There’s a moment of silence. Despite my own pain, I don’t want him to feel hurt too. While most women might seek revenge, I realize I’m still quite different from the others.

“I’m sorry for bringing you down.”

Another pause. We drink in each other’s appearance, reminding ourselves of one another.

“No, baby, please. Don’t say that. I was a coward. None of this was your fault. I...I can’t even begin to apologize to you for how much I’ve put you through.” He hangs his head, “I should’ve never left you like that. I should've come back.”

I gently run my fingers through his hair, recalling how this has always soothed him, and I can see it still does. He leans further into my touch, causing my heart to flutter.

“You came back, Josh,” I say softly.

He raises his head, and our eyes connect once more. A faint smile appears on his face, but he looks weary. “Can I—can I ask you something?”

I nod my head. “Anything.”

I should have realized by now that Joshua is constantly full of surprises. He follows his own path, disregarding rules and the expectations of others. I'm not accustomed to this, and I doubt I ever will be. This time, I think he truly caught me off guard when he asked, “Can we try again?”

𓂃۶ৎ

a/n: was supposed to be posted on Joshua's birthday, but i didn't finish on time hshshs

[snowysosturn]

Fire & Desire - Matt Sturniolo Part 2

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chris’s clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?

Warnings: MDNI, angst, bickering, mention of toxic relationship, aftermath of a toxic relationship, arguments, tension

I step carefully through the wreckage of my apartment, trying to see what’s salvageable so I could have a few things to live out of, staying with the triplets. Most of my things are either smashed, torn, or covered in a fine layer of dirt and glass shards. Ethan didn’t just take his belongings, he left destruction in his wake.

I sigh, kneeling down to inspect what’s left. A lot of it can be replaced, I tell myself. Furniture, dishes, even the picture frames, it’s all just stuff. But as I rummage through the mess, a sinking feeling sets in. Something’s missing.

My heart races as I scan the countertop near the bathroom. I dig through drawers, lift pillows off the bed, and even check the edge of the shower where I remember setting it.

“My locket..” I whisper.

The small, gold locket my grandfather gave me before he passed. Engraved with his writing, something I felt always brought me good luck. I only take it off to shower, but this morning, in the rush of everything, I forgot to put it back on after. Now, it’s gone.

I stand still, gripping the edge of the sink. Of all the things Ethan could have taken or destroyed, why this? I close my eyes, trying to steady myself, but the loss feels heavier than the rest of the chaos combined.

“Y/n?” Nick’s voice snaps me back to reality.

“I’m almost done” I call back, my voice cracking slightly.

“We’ll wait in the car, take your time.” Nick says, as the three of them leave my apartment.

I grab my suitcase, throwing in whatever clothes and keepsakes I can save. My heart aches as I step over broken memories, knowing I’ll never feel at home here again.

As I walk out of the apartment, I take one last glance at the space that used to be mine. Now it’s just a reminder of what I’ve lost, and what I need to leave behind.

Outside, I see the triplets waiting in Chris’s car. Chris is leaning against the driver’s door, scrolling on his phone. Matt is in the passenger seat, looking like he couldn’t care less about the situation. Nick spots me and jogs over, taking the suitcase from my hand without saying a word.

“You okay?” Nick asks softly.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Let’s just get out of here.”

Chris looks up as Nick loads my suitcase into the trunk. “You sure you’ve got everything?”

“Yeah..” I reply, forcing a weak smile, wanting to grab the empty space on my chest where my locket would’ve lay, knowing the one thing I promised to never lose, is now gone.

Matt lets out an exaggerated sigh as I climb into the backseat. “Thank god, I’m still starving.”

The drive to their house is tense. Chris hums along to the radio, Nick tries to lighten the mood by cracking a few jokes, and Matt stays silent, occasionally scrolling on his phone. I stare out the window, trying to focus on anything but the knot of anxiety tightening in my chest.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. But for now, I had no choice but to figure out how to move forward.

We pull into the garage of the triplets’ house, a place I’ve been to more times than I can count. Between my friendship with Nick and working with Chris, this house isn’t unfamiliar territory. The three story house is a place full of energy, chaos, and, right now, tension.

Chris parks the car, and I step out, clutching my suitcase in one hand. Nick is already out of the car and at the door, holding it open for me like the good friend he is, while Matt trails behind us, dragging his feet like he’s walking to his own execution.

“You know where everything is” Nick says as he ushers me inside.

I step inside, suitcase in hand, the stairs creaking slightly as I lug my suitcase up to the main living area. Chris floated off into his bedroom on the way in, and Matt made comfort for himself on the couch. From there, I follow Nick up the next flight to the top level of the house. My new “room” is just outside Nick’s.

The podcast room, or what used to be the podcast room, is a tiny square area tucked at the end of the top of the stairs. The artificial walls are still standing, flimsy and paper thin, painted in mismatched shades of white, pink, and turquoise. It’s like stepping into a DIY project someone abandoned halfway through. The floor is covered in black and white checkered lino, glaringly out of place against the rest of the house.

“It’s not the Ritz” Nick says, scratching the back of his neck, “but we can make it work. I’ll help you get set up.”

“No it’s fine, I appreciate it” I reply, offering a small smile. “You’re saving my ass right now.”

I drop my suitcase on the floor and glance around. The space is.. A space. Let’s go with that. It doesn’t have a door, just an open entrance directly leading to the stairs, and Nick’s bedroom door opposite me, but I can’t exactly complain. I knew this was a temporary solution.

Nick gestures to the far corner. “We can fit a bed over there, maybe a little shelf or something for your stuff. I’ll start looking for furniture now.”

“Thanks, Nick.”

He grins. “What are best friends for?”

I glance at the walls, noticing faint pencil marks where posters and soundproofing foam used to be. The room is oddly quiet, considering how thin walls are, I know on a day to day basis they aren’t much of a barrier, but they’ll give me some semblance of privacy.

I roll my suitcase over to the corner and I unzip it, beginning to pull out my toiletries, placing them on the floor beside me as I try to figure out the best way to organize everything. Toothbrush, toothpaste, skincare stuff, my shampoo and conditioner.

“Uh, Nick?” I call out, glancing over my shoulder at him. “I’m not really sure where to put my toiletries. Using your bathroom would mean I’d be going in and out of your room all the time, and that could get pretty inconvenient.. especially if you’re asleep or something.”

Nick tilts his head, considering. “Yeah, that might get a little awkward. You could always use Matt’s bathroom, I mean it’s not in his room, and everyone uses it anyway.”

I freeze for a second, side eyeing Nick. “Matt’s bathroom?”

“Yeah” Nick says, as if it’s the simplest solution in the world. “It’s easier, and you won’t have to tiptoe around me.”

I glance down at the stairs knowing Matt’s down there, already dreading how this conversation is going to go. As if on cue, Matt’s voice echoes from somewhere below. “Wait what?”

Nick leans over the railing. “I said Y/n could use your bathroom since it’s easier. It’s not a big deal.”

Matt appears at the bottom of the stairs, his expression a mix of disbelief and irritation. “Why does it have to be my bathroom? You’ve got one. Chris has one.”

“Because it’s not in anyone’s bedroom” Nick explains to him. “And it’s right down the stairs.”

Matt runs a hand through his hair, clearly annoyed.

I sigh, standing at the top of the stairs, crossing my arms. “Look, I’ll keep my stuff out of the way, and I won’t use it when you’re in there. It’s not like I’m going to live in your bathroom.”

Matt narrows his eyes, muttering under his breath, “Feels like it.”

Nick rolls his eyes. “Stop being dramatic. It’s not like she’s going to redecorate your shower.”

I shoot Matt a pointed look. “Believe me, this is just as awkward for me as it is for you. But I’m not exactly drowning in options right now.”

Matt throws his hands up. “Fine. But if my stuff goes missing or gets moved, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Nick rolls his eyes. “You’ll survive, Matt. Trust me.”

Matt mutters something under his breath before heading back to sit on the couch. I turn to Nick, who just shrugs with a lopsided smile.

“Don’t worry about him” Nick says. “He’ll get over it. Eventually.”

I sigh, rubbing my temples. “Yeah, let’s hope that happens sooner rather than later.”

Deciding that keeping my toiletries in my little makeshift room for now is the safest bet, I arrange them neatly in the corner. I’ll just grab what I need when I need it and take them down to Matt’s bathroom individually. No reason to make this situation worse, or give Matt another excuse to complain.

Nick, still leaning against the doorframe of his own room, looks up from his phone. “I just checked some spots online for a bed. Macy’s has a decent one we can go pick up today.”

Matt, who’s clearly eavesdropping from the couch below, calls out, “I’m not driving. Ask Chris.”

“You’re so helpful, Matt. Seriously.” Nick yells down the stairs.

I sigh, standing up. “It’s fine, I’ll go ask Chris.”

Leaving Nick and Matt to bicker, I head down the stairs to the bottom floor of the house where Chris’s room is. His door is slightly ajar, so I knock lightly. “Chris?”

No response. I push the door open a little more, peeking inside. Chris is sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep, with one arm draped over his eyes. His phone is charging on the nightstand, and a half empty bottle of pepsi sits next to it.

For a moment, I debated whether I should wake him up. I decided against it since I’ve just moved into the place, the last thing I want to do is make demands or step on anyone's toes. 

I turn on my heel to walk back up the stairs, Nick and Matt still bickering in the distance, I hesitate at the bottom, my hand gripping the banister tightly as I hear Matt's voice. His tone is sharp, laced with irritation.

“I just don’t get why she has to live here” he hisses, clearly unaware that I’m within earshot. “Like, does she not have any other friends?”

My stomach twists at his words, and my steps slow, barely making a sound.

“She does, Matt.” Nick retorts, his voice firm. “But she’s also my best friend, and I’m sure Chris would consider her one of his too. This will also make things easier for them both for work purposes. Like you’re the only one with an issue here.”

I stay frozen in place, torn between storming up there and pretending I didn’t hear a thing.

“Yeah” Matt scoffs, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “and I bet Chris only gave her the job because he wants to smash.”

His comment lands like a punch to the gut, my heart sinking. I stand there, gripping the railing, trying to push away the sting of his words.

Nick lets out a frustrated sigh. “Seriously, Matt? That’s low, even for you. Chris gave her the job because she’s good at it, and you know it. Maybe if you actually got to know her instead of acting like an ass all the time, you’d see that too.”

There’s a brief silence, and I think about heading back to Chris’s room to avoid hearing any more, but my feet feel glued to the spot.

Matt’s voice cuts through the pause. “Whatever, man. Just don’t expect me to be all buddy buddy with her. She’s your friend, not mine.”

I take a deep breath, swallowing the lump in my throat. I’ve always known Matt and I didn’t get along, but hearing him talk about me like that feels different.

Determined not to let them see how much it affected me, I make my way up the stairs, forcing my steps to sound casual. As I approach, Nick glances over his shoulder at me, his expression softening into something apologetic. Matt doesn’t even look my way, his jaw set and his arms crossed.

“Chris is asleep” I say, keeping my voice calm. “I didn’t want to wake him.”

Nick sighs, pushing himself up from where he was leaning against the wall. “Alright, guess that leaves us with Plan B.”

Matt immediately looks skeptical. “What’s Plan B?”

“You.” Nick says as if that was a stupid thing to ask.

Matt groans, his head tipping back dramatically. “Are you serious? Why do I have to do it?”

“Because you’re here, you have a car, and Chris is asleep” Nick counters, folding his arms. “Stop being difficult and help.”

Matt looks between the two of us, his jaw tightening. “Fine” he finally says, his tone clipped. “But if I’m driving, you both owe me food, since I never got it earlier..”

Nick smirks. “Deal.”

“And I’m not spending hours out here either, I’ve places to be later.” Matt says firmly, as he grabs his keys.

Nick, already halfway down the stairs, doesn’t even look back. "Relax, Matt. Looking for bedding isn’t going to make you miss your date later."

I glance at Matt, who scowls, his expression hardening even further. "Good. Because I’m not ditching plans to play chauffeur."

“Yeah, yeah, we get it” Nick says with a dismissive wave as we step outside toward the car.

I follow behind, trying to suppress my irritation at Matt’s attitude, silently wishing this entire situation didn’t feel so awkward, and I didn’t overhear that conversation.

As we climb in to the car, I silently promise myself I’ll try to stay out of Matt’s way as much as possible. If only it were that easy.

a/n: my sleep pattern is FUCKED so parts might be all over the place

taglist : @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel  @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @chrisstxrnsaxe @sophand4n4 @vickytaa @marrykisskilled @bxtchboy69 @yourfavsturniologirl @julisturn @sydneyylainn @sophia-77n @trevorsgodmother @sturnslutz @yourmother29 @girl24cherry @astronea @pinkdyit

[couldawouldashoulda50]

From Completely Different Worlds - A Follow-up

Happy New Year everyone - wishing you all the very best in 2025.

I thought I would write a little follow-up to the final chapter of the series, mostly to tie up any loose ends. This next part picks up from the following day, which is Thanksgiving at Loren's.

I had a thought - I would like to continue writing little blurbs for these two...I have about 3 or 4 outlines just for some little situational moments that I thought might be fun to dive into. I hope there will be a few readers out there that might like to continue on their journey together ❤️

Warnings - profanity, general smut (p in v)

Word count - approx 5k

18+ only please.

“Fuck, I’m full,” William groaned as he closed the sliding door to the backyard, Pablo and Banksy trotting back inside without a care. He shuffled over to Loren, who was fast-tracking the steeping process of the ginger tea she’d made to help settle his stomach. Leaning over to sniff the mug, he wrinkled his nose slightly. “What is this?”

“It’s ginger tea—it should help with your stomach,” Loren said, smiling as his hand found the small of her back in a casual, comforting gesture. “It’s worth a shot, anyway.”

Sliding in behind her, William moved her hair aside, brushing his lips against the base of her neck. The soft, ticklish giggle she let out made him grin, even as the weight in his stomach reminded him of just how much he’d eaten.

He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud—not yet—but what he felt in that moment was undeniable. Happiness. Gratitude. Optimism. After everything they’d been through—the ups, the downs, the doubts—there was no question of how they felt about one another now. They were here. Together. Alone.

And if only he hadn’t gone for those two extra pieces of lemon meringue pie, he’d have been expressing himself in a much more interesting and physical way.

They moved to the couch where the dogs were already sleeping, Pablo curled up on the cushion and Banksy on the arm of the couch. William shifted Loren’s legs after she sat and positioned himself between them, his back resting on her torso. He sipped his tea and allowed the warmth of the ginger to calm his stomach.

There were candles still lit throughout the room, providing a lovely ambiance earlier as Simon (Benoit) and William had talked team dynamics while Alice fed Adelaide. Loren had sat beside her, petting the Benoits’ dogs that had come for some turkey as well.

As the flames flickered with an occasional invisible draft, the mood between them was nothing short of tranquil and serene.

Loren kissed William’s head, and he leaned into her affectionately, prompting her to give more.

William and Alex had arrived at Loren’s together earlier in the day, but Alex had taken off with William’s car after dessert for a get-together that, for once, didn’t include his brother. William hadn’t asked for specifics—he figured it might be a new fling on the horizon. Alex’s vague responses had all but confirmed William’s assumptions.

He softly broke the silence. “So…can I stay here tonight?”

As William leaned back against Loren on the couch, he found himself silently hoping the plans he’d formed in his mind with her would actually come to life, despite his uncomfortably full stomach.

Loren paused, her gaze drifting over the length of William’s body sprawled across the couch. A soft chuckle escaped her. “Theoretically, you’re kind of stuck here,” she teased. “But… I’d really like that. If it works for you.”

“I have practice at noon tomorrow—can you drive me home in the morning?”

Loren planted soft kisses against William’s head, her lips brushing against his hairline. “I want to make a joke about me being Kathy Bates in the movie Misery, but I doubt you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

William shook his head, a small smile forming. “You’re right, I don’t. The title doesn’t sound very… optimistic.”

She laughed softly, the sound warm and melodic. “It’s not. Let’s just say it involves a guy being stuck somewhere he really doesn’t want to be. Kathy Bates plays a nurse—a caregiver for him—but, uh, she’s a little… unhinged.”

William tilted his head back to look at her, his brows furrowed in mock confusion. “And this is your way of inviting me to stay the night?”

Loren grinned, her hand stroking his shoulder lazily. “It’s more about poking fun at you for being trapped here without a car. But now that you mention it…”

William chuckled and set his empty mug down on the coffee table, shifting onto his side to face her. “So… wait. Does she kill him?”

Loren smirked, her fingers threading gently through his hair. “Mmm, no. She incapacitates him by taking a sledgehammer to his ankles. I never read the book, but apparently, in that version, she takes an axe to his foot.”

William hung his head, rubbing his face with his hands. “I’m going to have nightmares after this,” he groaned, half-laughing.

Loren bit her lip and shot him an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry, I forgot… it might be too soon to joke about a girl blowing up your world again. So yes, I can drive you to practice… at whatever time you need.”

William shifted again, this time laying flat on his back, the couch just wide enough to accommodate his long frame. Loren instinctively curled into him, her head resting against his chest as his arm wrapped securely around her. He guided one of her legs to drape over his, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them.

His fingers traced patterns along her back, while she soothingly ran her hands across William’s clothed chest. The room was quiet save for the occasional rustling of the dogs shifting in their sleep.

William spoke first, his eyes fixating on the dark freckles that adorned her cheekbones - just another element of her beauty that he found so unique. He shifted slightly beneath her as if to prompt her to look up at him.” “We should talk though, about all of that stuff that happened - try and prevent it from happening again.”

Loren tilted her head up, her gaze settling on his face. It always struck her, the perfection of his features—it was unsettling in a way. She contemplated his words, her own brows furrowing. “I’m not sure it’s anything that either of us will be able to prevent from happening,” she admitted, tinged with uncertainty.

Loren continued, her tone thoughtful but laced with a hint of teasing. “I mean, you’re wildly popular—for all the good and not-so-good reasons. And you’ve been in this game—this league, this team—for a long time now. I can’t come into your life and start saying you can’t do this or that.”

She grinned knowingly, her eyes catching his. “You might seem really laid-back and chill, but I get the feeling you’re also really fucking stubborn.” Her smile widened at his soft chuckle before her expression changed slightly. “What I’m saying is… those pictures. You were hugging someone, or they were posing with you, and it looked like something it wasn’t. I can’t start throwing ultimatums at you—‘No more posing with women or hugging them’ or any of that shit.”

William stayed quiet, letting her words sink in. With other women he’d dated, conversations like this - if they even got that far in their relationship - eventually led to immature arguments or ultimatums—laying down rules that William couldn’t (or wouldn’t) adhere to.

It had been the underlying theme since he first met her - it shouldn’t have but the way she approached things still threw him off from time to time. She wasn’t blaming him or trying to control him. Instead, she was being honest about how she felt and what worried her, and she was leaving space for him to be himself. It was refreshing in a way he hadn’t expected.

His fingers moved lightly over her sleeve as he listened, unsure of what to say just yet.

William’s expression silently signaled for her to keep talking.

Loren leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his chest before lifting her gaze back to his face. “I guess I’d say—hmm, how do I put this?” She paused, her brow furrowing slightly as she searched for the right words. “I don’t know what to expect with any of this. I think all I can really ask for is… some help getting through those uncomfortable moments….especially at this point - at the beginning. I hope that makes sense?”

William brought his lips close to hers, his voice low and steady. “Makes perfect sense.” William kissed her lightly before asking his next question. “Can you give me an example - of maybe what I can do to help. I mean - whatever you need and all that but you gotta maybe - help me, help you, sorta thing?”

Loren bit her lip, a sheepish smile forming at the corners of her mouth. “Letting me vent—and I’ll do my best to make it clear that’s all it is. So it doesn’t sound like I’m, you know, ripping you a new asshole.”

William feigned being shocked. “Wait - you have a temper? I don’t believe it.”

Loren rolled her eyes, laughing softly as she gave his shoulder a playful shove. “I do not have a temper. I just… get animated about certain things.”

William’s grin widened as he raised his hands, mimicking the exaggerated one-fingered salutes she had been know to give on the occasion. “Uh-huh. Animated. Got it.”

Loren nudged him again, narrowing her eyes playfully. “Passionate’s maybe a better word.”

A wry smile played on his lips as his gaze flicked to hers. “I’ll say—you are definitely… passionate.”

The conversation paused for another moment. William hadn’t said it yet, but part of him was still worried. Not just about the misinformation and the issues they just got through—though that had been bad enough. It was about all the other things Loren might see, hear, or read. Stuff that would seem harmless to him but could easily look like something else to her.

He’d been in this game long enough to know how it worked. People loved to talk, speculate, exaggerate. He was used to it—had learned to tune it out years ago. But Loren? She wasn’t just stepping into his world; she was stepping into the chaos that came with it.

And he couldn’t help but wonder… would it wear her down? Would she start to question every hug, every photo, every headline? He hated the idea of her doubting him—of them being pulled apart by things that didn’t matter.

William sighed, running his thumb absently over the back of her hand. He didn’t want to scare her off, but she needed to know. “Loren,” he began, his voice low, steady. “There’s something I want to say, and I need you to really listen to me.”

She looked up at him, her brows knitting slightly in concern. “Okay,” she said softly.

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “I know you know this but there’s… a lot out there. About me. Stuff people say, stuff they think they know - they’ll just go ahead and post it and not think of it again. But then it winds up all over the place - and it’s not even accurate or true. I’ve learned to ignore it, but… it might not be easy for you. All of the articles, pictures, fans saying things online - it’s everywhere whether you’re looking for it or not. Some of it might get under your skin - and I get it - it plants doubts and insecurities.”

Her hand tightened slightly in his, her eyes steady on his. “You’re worried that I’m going to get messed up over everything that’s out there and start turning on you?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “It’s not that. I just… I want you to know it’s okay if it gets to you sometimes. But I need you to tell me when it does. Don’t let it build up, don’t keep it to yourself. Just… talk to me. We’ll figure it out - but you just gotta let me know.”

He paused, his gaze holding hers. “Look, Loren - I know your instinct is to step back—to take time to sort things out on your own. I get that. But…” He swallowed, his thumb brushing her knuckles. “I need you to promise me you won’t shut me out. Not this time. We can’t afford a month of silence to let things settle….it’s really important to me that you just… talk to me, even if you feel embarrassed or are just trying to get past something you’ve seen or heard. Okay?”

Loren nodded, her throat tightening with the thought of the time they lost in the previous month.

William exhaled slowly, the words coming a little harder now. “And I’ll be honest—I’m not the greatest at asking what’s wrong. I’ll try, but if I start to think there’s something bothering you all the time…” He hesitated, a light chuckle led to a wry smile. “It might actually drive me fucking nuts. So I’ll need your help there too—just… tell me where you’re coming from. I’ll do my best to understand…even if it doesn’t make sense right away.”

He paused, his fingers intertwining with hers. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own, Loren. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

Loren nodded, her face giving a look of appreciation mixed with understanding. “I hear you,” was her reply, her fingers lightly toying with the buttons on his shirt.

It wasn’t long before Loren heard the faint sound of snoring. She smiled against the fabric of his shirt, her heart swelling with the calm and contentment that surrounded them. For the first time in weeks, everything felt right again.

As the snores grew louder and more prolonged, she bit back a laugh. She didn’t want to disturb him, but she knew she had to get him to bed. A crick in his neck or a sore back—despite the couch being ultra-comfortable—was not ideal at the start of the season.

“William? William Nylander,” she whispered softly, shifting against him. “Better get you up to bed.”

His eyes stayed closed, but a lazy smile crept across his face. Loren giggled, leaning in to leave a trail of kisses along his jawline and down to his neck, the warmth of her lips lingering against his skin.

It was at that moment where William really regretted over indulging after everyone had left. The food was amazing but he was sure her mouth on any part of his body would overshadow his second mini-feast. He kept his thoughts to himself but suddenly the elicit thoughts of what might greet him the following morning danced in his mind.

Loren gently scooped up Pablo, cradling him against her chest as she planted soft kisses into his fur. He let out a long, contented groan, his eyes slipping closed again. “Turkey-itis, eh, Pablo?” she murmured with a smile. “You’re just like your dad.”

She didn’t look back for a response, already halfway up the stairs, but William’s unmistakable chortle followed her. A moment later, while supporting Banksy’s rear in one hand, his other hand playfully squeezed her ass—a clear acknowledgment of her mild ribbing.

Once upstairs, the dogs were placed on Loren’s bed, sniffing the comforter before circling and settling into their chosen spots. Between stolen kisses and a few teasing gropes while getting ready for bed, William was the first to slip under the sheets, letting out a satisfied groan as he melted into the mattress.

Loren wasn’t far behind, stepping out in a camisole and shorts before maneuvering herself between the sleeping dogs to nestle beside him.

William feigned disappointment as his eyes swept over her, the thin fabric clinging to her curves. “You usually sleep naked—what happened?”

Loren brushed her lips against his bare chest, her voice low and teasing. “I’m not saying I have that much of an effect on you, but me cuddling into you, naked, with the way you’re feeling… blue balls is the last thing you’d want.”

He decided not to tell her the truth—that naked or not, she absolutely had that effect on him. The pressure in his cock made that perfectly clear.

Morning could not come soon enough.

—

When Loren awoke early the next day, her eyes, still heavy with sleep, drifted to the empty space beside her. She barely had time to wonder where William had gone before spotting him nearby, bent over with his ass in the air as he rummaged through the bag he’d brought with him.

A smile spread across her face as she watched him move. For someone who was so often the picture of effortless perfection, even now, in this very human moment, he was still gorgeous. His hair was mussed, his shorts askew just enough to expose the crack of his ass. And yet, even his imperfection felt flawless to her.

William turned toward the bed, catching Loren’s gaze just as her smile widened. Her dark eyes shone, filled with admiration for the view and optimism for what lay ahead of them.

Adjusting the pillow, she greeted him with a soft, “Good morning.”

William’s grin grew wider as he took in her tousled hair and sleepy, sexy expression. Standing at the edge of the mattress, he clasped his hands behind his back. “Morning.” After a beat, he added, “I have something for you.”

Loren’s eyes instinctively drifted downward, lingering on the natural bulge in his shorts. She bit her bottom lip, raising her eyebrows as if to say, I bet you do.

William followed her gaze, then looked back up at her as she let out a subdued giggle. Shaking his head, he smirked. “Not quite yet,” he said, though he had every intention of fulfilling her insinuation soon enough.

With a slight flourish, he brought his hands out from behind his back, revealing the crumpled jersey he’d been holding.

Loren’s eyes immediately lit up, and he could tell she was holding back an audible squeal of excitement. She shifted into a kneeling position as William slid back onto the bed, handing her the jersey.

She unfolded it carefully, catching its distinct scent—his soap, his cologne, and a trace of sweat from last night’s game. The mix was already intoxicating, hitting her senses like a powerful aphrodisiac. Turning it around in her hands, her fingers traced over the bright white “Nylander” and the bold number “88.”

William chuckled at her reaction. “It’s from last night’s game,” he said. “Swiped it before it ended up in the laundry bin.”

Loren beamed, her joy unmistakable, though her expression quickly turned mischievous. “You know,” she said, deadpan, “I could probably rake in a few grand if I sold this on eBay.”

William narrowed his eyes, letting out a laugh. “Punk.”

Before he could say more, her lips were on his, silencing him as she guided him onto his back. The jersey stayed clutched tightly in her hands, pressed between them like the treasure it was.

Her lower half was soon straddling William’s pelvis, the top part of her body hovered atop of his. Her dark brown eyes scanned his features as the full intensity of her affection for him over came her. She lowered herself down, brushed her lips across his jawline and neck and whispered “Thank you” near his ear. Her slow kisses continued over his throat,

The pressure was building with every shift of their bodies and every movement between them. William’s hands began to knead her hips but then travelled to her round ass cheeks. He pressed his ever-growing hardness against her, eliciting a soft whimper from her mouth.

William’s voice sounded rough with desire. “Can I see it on you?”

Loren smiled against his warm skin, nodding her head before pulling back. She sat straddling him, yearning for him to be inside of her. She lightly grinded against him before sliding off of him, an almost painful feat considering how desperately she wanted him. “Be right back.”

William propped himself up on his elbow, his gaze following her as she padded toward the washroom. Once inside the bathroom, the door clicked close behind her, and with flipping on the light, she efficiently brushed her teeth, flipped her hair over and back again and dabbed a bit of perfume between her breasts.

She quickly shed her sleep set and pulled the jersey over her head and shimmied as it enveloped her. Her cheeks flushed red as she looked at the back of the jersey. How in the world did this ever happen she mused while chuckling and shaking her head. She exhaled deeply, the anticipation of William anticipating incited a warmth that radiated throughout her body.

When she emerged, William caught his first glimpse of her in his jersey, and for a moment, he was completely still. A smirk teased at the corners of his lips before it faded, replaced by something deeper. He bit his lip, his turquoise eyes roaming over her with an intensity that made Loren’s cheeks flush under his obvious admiration.

As she approached the edge of the bed, Loren timidly fidgeted with the hem of the jersey, which hung just halfway down her thighs. William’s gaze never strayed, his focus entirely on her.

He extended a hand toward her. Loren placed her hand in his and climbed back onto the mattress, letting him guide her, laying on his back until she was straddling him again.

William’s eyes soaked in every detail of her, his expression a perfect mix of adoration and mischief. “It looks really, really good,” he murmured, his voice thick with affection. “Way better than Auston’s.”

Loren paused, tilting her head as if to consider. “Who?” she replied with a smirk before leaning in and pressing her lips slowly against his, letting her mouth linger as one of her hands cupped his jaw.

Their kisses deepened, each one a release of the pent-up longing they’d carried since Loren’s departure from Stockholm, their embrace tightening as though even the smallest space between them was unbearable. Loren’s voice broke through the moment, her lips still brushing against William’s. “The boys… their walk,” she reminded softly.

He pressed his mouth against hers before kissing a trail down her neck. “I took them out back. They, uh, sort of watered your grass,” he said between kisses, his tone both teasing and breathless. “I told them I needed about ten minutes, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be less than that,” he admitted coyly. “It’s been almost two months since I’ve…we’ve….y’know.”

Loren paused, her thoughts briefly catching on his words. For her, two months without sex was a cakewalk, but she hadn’t considered it from William’s side.

“It’s been two months?” she asked with an air of surprise.

William pulled back slightly, his turquoise eyes locking with hers. “I mean, yeah… between you leaving and me getting back here….not quite two months of….well - just my hand.”

Loren’s eyebrows lifted, and she grimaced slightly, her mind catching on the idea of William’s admitted celibacy. She could only assume it wasn’t typical for him—but now wasn’t the time to ask.

He smirked, catching onto her expression. “Let’s just say that little ‘test’ video we made before you left my place in Stockholm helped out… a lot.”

Loren’s cheeks flushed as vivid memories surfaced, her body reacting to the mere thought of them. But her mind drifted to the time she’d spent alone since William returned to Toronto. Her needs had remained quiet—virtually dormant—as the hurt and uncertainty of their situation took over.

On the rare occasions when a faint spark of desire arose, it faded almost as quickly. As much as she wanted to deny it, William had unlocked something in her—new levels of intimacy, new ways of craving. No one else could satisfy her now. Only him.

Loren dragged her fingernails lightly through the soft hair on his chest, loving the feel of his broad frame beneath her hands. Her legs spread a little wider as she leaned down to kiss him again, the pressure of her arousal building with every movement.

As their kisses deepened, Loren shifted her hips, raising herself off his clothed erection just enough to free her hands. She started to push the waistband of his shorts down, slow but sure, until William took over. He shimmied them off completely, tossing them to the foot of the bed without a second thought.

Reaching for the hem of the jersey, William’s fingers lightly gripped the fabric as he began to pull it up. “You look amazing in this,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. “But I’ve missed touching you.”

The jersey slipped off easily, leaving her bare. His hands smoothed over her hips and waist, rediscovering every curve as though memorizing her all over again.

Loren’s breath hitched at the dizzying sensation between her legs. She stealthily reached over to the nightstand, pumping a small amount of lube into her palm. Warming it between her hands, she slid one hand behind her, wrapping her fingers around him with deliberate slowness. Her teasing strokes drew a low groan from William, the sound alone enough to send her into a spiral of desperate need.

William’s hips rose and fell in rhythm with her touch, his breaths growing heavier. When she shifted to gingerly massage the tip, slick with his own juices, his head pressed back into the pillow. Groaning a string of expletives mixed with murmured affirmations, his grip on her hips tightened, his fingers digging into her soft skin.

Loren couldn’t wait any longer, and judging by the tension in his muscles, neither could he. She positioned herself, pressing her entrance near the base of his cock as she leaned forward, capturing his mouth in a kiss that expressed her deep desire for him. Her tongue grazed his with a light, sensual flick which nearly sent him over the edge.

She positioned his tip at her entrance and slowly slid onto him, savoring the way his girth stretched her. Her breath hitched, and she bit her lip, her body adjusting to the overwhelming sensation of fullness.

“FuckLoren…,” William groaned, the two words melting into one as his hands gripped her hips, guiding her movements. She began to slide him in and out, her rhythm slow and deliberate, her body responding to his in the most natural, primal way.

Her pace quickened slightly, her hands gripping his forearms as his fingers found her breasts, stroking and teasing her nipples. The bed creaked softly beneath them, a rhythmic echo of Loren’s intensifying thrusts. Gasps and moans filled the room, her voice trembling as she murmured his name, each sound pushing him closer to the edge.

The early morning sun filtered through her blinds, illuminating the sheen of her still-golden skin. The light accentuated every beautiful contour of her neck as her head fell back, her long mane of hair almost touching William’s thighs. The sight of her—equal parts elegant sensuality and untamed vixen—was almost too much for William. He was right; he wasn’t going to last long.

But he wasn’t done yet. He knew exactly how to bring Loren to the edge with him. As her hips moved with increasing urgency, grinding against him, his hand slipped lower, his thumb finding the perfect spot on her clit.

His strokes were precise and gentle, and the reaction was immediate. Loren jolted, her body clenching tightly around him as she clasped his wrist, a silent plea for him to keep going. Her other hand braced firmly against his thigh as she leaned back, her body moving with a more fervent, desperate rhythm.

The overwhelming sensation between her legs built rapidly, a flood of heat and pressure that stole her breath. “Don’t stop,” she gasped, her voice trembling with quiet urgency. Loren’s body began to quiver, her movements stuttering as the release overtook her. She collapsed onto William’s chest, her breaths uneven as she cried out softly, her orgasm pulsing through her.

William held her tightly, his arms wrapping protectively around her as his hips bucked fast and firm into her trembling body. The tightness of her release pushed him over the edge, his moans breaking into shorter, rougher sounds. With a deep, guttural shout, he spilled inside her, his grip on her waist tightening as they both stayed connected, riding out the bliss together.

After a few moments, Loren slid fluidly from his body and sank into the mattress beside him, her breathing soft and steady. William shifted to his side, easing her close against him, her face naturally finding its place against his chest—one of her favorite places to be.

It felt like calmer waters lay ahead for them. With a better understanding of each other, despite the SNAFUs and bad timing of their past, they were unknowingly building a foundation for something lasting. Where they differed, they balanced each other; where they were alike, it felt like perfect harmony.

William lay quietly, his hand stroking small circles on Loren’s back as he stared at the ceiling. His thoughts wandered to the next few hours, wondering if she’d stick around after practice. He laughed softly to himself, realizing how far gone he was for her. And he knew she felt the same about him.

He could manage life without Loren, he supposed, but it would never feel the same. Over the past month, during their separation, he came to terms with how she made every part of his life better. Whether it was a long drive, nap time, practice, or game time—everything was brighter, fuller, with her beside him.

Never mind one woman, a thousand ways. One woman, in every way. That’s how he wanted Loren.

[lynnaredfield3383]

Not my characters. Swearing, vomiting (due to stress). **Before the war fem reader & Bakugo were soulmates until Bakugo rejected her & their bond was broken.** The war is over & the soulmate marks are gone, but Bakugo won't let her go.**

"No!!!"

You sat up in bed, covered in sweat. A moment later, you were up and running to the bathroom.

Emptying the contents of your stomach for what felt like hours, you never heard the door open. You jumped when you felt the warmth of his hand against your back.

Knowing it was him made the hot tears fall faster, and your stomach violently released the last of the bile it held. A tissue appeared in front of you, and you took it. Wiping your mouth, you shut the lid. You laid your arms on the lid and then your head on your arms. Your eyes were closed because you didn't want to see him, and you were ashamed.

"You can't sleep in here."

"I'm fine," your voice hoarse and unfamiliar.

"I'm right here, ya know? I'm not dead."

How did he think that would help? Of course, you knew he wasn't dead. Of course, he was right there because even though he didn't want you he wouldn't leave your fucking life.

"I know, idiot. You can leave, I'm fine."

Your voice sounded as shitty as ever, and you knew you were far from fine, but if he would just go away, you could crawl back to your bed.

"M'not goin' anywhere, dumbass."

You felt his strong arms lift you up as though you weighed nothing. You kept your eyes closed because you didn't want to look at him.

The selfish bastard laid you down and settled behind you, his arms enveloping you. He pulled up the blankets over both of you. He didn't care how much it broke you to be near him. He didn't care how much you hurt at the sight of him. He didn't care how you'd lost a piece of yourself when he had died. Even momentarily.

"Please go. I just. I need you to go, please."

You sounded weak and pathetic, but that should have been enough to get rid of him.

Bakugo pulled you closer to his chest as you sobbed softly. His hands landed on your hip, and he could feel the difference in your curves. Mostly gone in only a few months.

He wasn't an idiot. He'd seen how you started wasting away after the war. How your shine for life and bright outlook slowly diminished every day. Bakugo wasn't the only one that noticed, but he was the only one who wouldn't give you space. He made sure you ate whenever he was around. He made sure you worked out and kept up with your studies.

Plenty of your classmates wanted to know why, especially after he rejected your soulmate bond. Bakugo had tried to figure it out himself, but he couldn't. Anytime he tried to distance himself, he became unbearable to everyone around him. All he could think about was you and being near you. Some would say the bond still remained, but it didn't. The day Bakugo told you, "Never gonna happen." The soulmate mark disappeared from his wrist first, then moments later yours.

"I can't. I won't leave you like this."

You wanted to hit him, maybe even use your quirk on him, but you just sobbed into your pillow. Didn't he realize he was destroying you?

"Why not? You never wanted me when we were soulmates."

Bakugo's chest tightened, and he knew he deserved every blow you gave no matter how low. He would take every one of them because deep down, he would do anything to be your soulmate again.

"Shh. You need to sleep and tomorrow you're gonna eat every fucking thing I put in front of you."

At this point, your body was shutting down, and you had no say on whether you passed out or continued fighting with him.

"You're not my soulmate anymore. Just go."

Bakugo moved his lips to your ear.

"I don't hafta be your soulmate to love you, idiot. Now close your fucking eyes and sleep. Please, Y/N."

Why was he so cruel? How could he say he loved you when it was clear he hadn't ever felt that way.

"Fuck you Katsuki Bakugo. Fuck you for hurting me and making me weak."

Bakugo chuckled, your fire coming back, and that meant you were going to be okay.

"I love ya too, brat."

You cursed him softly as you slipped into an exhausted slumber.

[annaphoenix1994]

Trying Again

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

Once the ceremony had concluded, Simon had helped eased Kiera into the passenger seat of his car, eager to get her home and enjoy the rest of the evening within the presence of each other before they departed the next morning for the first destination to mark their honeymoon - to which Simon still did not tell her what he had planned. With assurance that Jacob and Evie were taken care of and secured into Eva's vehicle, Simon waited until Eva had driven in front of them on the way back to the ranch. 

"That ring looks good on you, babe." Kiera giggled from the passenger seat, blushing as she physically witnessed Simon's pupils dilate to a thicker diameter once he held his gaze on her, his lips curling into a smirk. 

"Not used to wearing rings, but I'll gladly get used to this one," He chuckled, his right hand reaching for her left, bringing her knuckles up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there. "Didn't think that ring could look more perfect dressed on that pretty finger, love." 

"I still can't believe we just got married," She sighed. "We've waited so long for this and now that it's finally happened... I can't wrap my head around it." 

"Me either, but I'm glad it did," He smirked. "As much as I dread leaving our children behind for our honeymoon, I think it'll be a relief for you to have some time away." 

"It will, but I'm going to miss my babies so much," She frowned. "Mom said she's going to send us constant pictures and videos while we're gone." 

"I'm sure, love," He assured her. "I can't wait to see your reaction once you figure out where we're going." 

"Well, where are we going?"

"That's a surprise. But I will say I accidentally fucked up the flight..."

"What do you mean?" She arched her brow. 

"Well, our first flight was supposed to go towards the east coast, but I somehow scheduled it for Nevada..."

"You're confusing me, Simon."

He smirked, "Let's just say we'll be spending a couple of days in a certain town in southern Nevada first..."

He watched her jaw drop, "Babe, are we... Going to Las Vegas?" 

"Possibly," He smirked. "Just know that I can't afford to be losing my new wife in Sin City. I babysit Johnny enough." 

She giggled, "You can't babysit me if you can't find me..." 

He arched his brow and she giggled, "Trying to make my blood pressure rise already?" 

"Oh, I'm sure you already are getting a rise out of this evening. If you know what I mean..." 

"Don't start anything you can't finish, love." 

"Who said I didn't want it to finish?" 

She smirked as she watched his face flush before he moved to adjust himself behind the steering wheel, clearly desperately trying to hide his pending erection, his mind briefly short-circuiting as he had hoped they were nearly home. Sighing, he gripped the steering wheel tightly before reaching for her hand, hoping to distract himself from intimate thoughts until he were to get home. 

»»-------¤-------««

Without giving her any notice, Simon hastily swept Kiera off of her feet before he began to carry her towards the house, the train of her dress waving in the night air as Kiera giggled into his neck, placing short and teasing kisses along his hot and aroused skin. "All bloody mine," He grumbled. "You got that?" 

"Roger that, Lieutenant." 

He huffed in frustration, closing the door with his foot before rushing himself and his new bride into their bedroom, easily laying her on the bed and gently resting himself between her thighs, caging her between his arms and capturing her lips with his. "Simon." She moaned into his mouth, her core flexing in arousal.

"What is it, love?" 

"I can't believe this - us. We're finally married." 

"Good thought, yeah? How about we finally officiate this marriage?" 

She groaned at his words, running her hands through his neat hair only to ruin it, leaving the residue from his hair gel on her fingers. His hands had slowly began to run up her smooth legs, smirking against her lips when he realized she had been wearing a garter around her thigh after the pads of his fingers swept across it. "What's the order of this thing?"  

He knew. 

He knew what it was for and the tradition behind it, but he wanted to hear her say it as well as add his own twist to it.

"Oh, you know, typical bride attire," She giggled. "Tradition." 

"Is that right?" 

"Mhm. Don't they have that in Manchester?" 

He shrugged playfully, "Don't know. Never been married before. Might have to fill me in on this so-called tradition."

"I'm sure you can figure it out, babe." 

"Oh, so you're not going to tell me?"

"Well, we kinda broke the tradition a little bit..." 

"We've broken several, love." 

She giggled, "Well, you know how I tossed my bouquet during the reception and you refused to take my garter off from under my gown-"

"Because I'm selfish and didn't want anyone to see your legs? Yes." He replied proudly, the pads of his fingers tracing over the garter slowly. 

"You were supposed to take it off from under my gown and toss it to your groomsmen and whoever caught it was supposed to be getting married next-"

"Well," He scoffed, placing a kiss to her collarbone. "We agreed to make our own traditions. I think I know what I want to do with it." 

"Hm? What's that?" She hummed. 

"I think I'd want to rip this off of you with my bloody teeth and display you as my trophy," He didn't give her a chance to reply before he placed a kiss to her lips and lowered his body to where his head was under her gown, placing slow and delicate kisses from the inside of her knee and thigh until his lips fell onto the garter itself, gently grasping it with his teeth before he began to drag it from her thigh, smirking against her skin every time he heard a pretty whimper leave her lips. "And when I do that, nobody's eyes except my own get to lay on you." 

"I'm all yours, Simon." 

"I like hearing you say it." He murmured, proceeding to remove the garter with his teeth and slide it over his wrist before his mouth returned to her inner thighs, proceeding to move upwards under her gown before his lips landed on her sweet core, his hands resting above her gown to run his fingers along the lace fabric. All fucking mine. 

Her fingers were desperate to latch into his hair while her soft moans filled the quiet bedroom. She couldn't get enough of the image of him in his suit all for her. 

Simon's hands splayed across the outside of her thighs, holding them firmly against either side of his head while his tongue lapped through her folds, nearly making her jolt every time he crossed her clit with every slow and determined minute. 

Eventually, she had climaxed on his encouraging tongue, rewarding him for his efforts before he sat up on his knees, looking down at the overstimulated mess of his new bride, smirking at how flushed she already was. He sat back on his knees, admiring the way her dress bunched up at her waist and how her skin flushed, leaving red blotches of adrenaline dressing her chest and cheeks. Smirking, he moved to where he was standing on his feet, walking over to the nightstand to retrieve a condom from the drawer, setting it on top of the nightstand before he removed his dress shirt, tossing it to the side as Kiera moved to sit on her knees on the bed, her perfectly manicured nails curling around the belt of his trousers, her lips pressed against his muscled abdomen while her fingers slowly unbuckled his belt. 

She pumped his erection slowly with one hand, her thumb swiping the small bead of arousal that pooled at his aching head, swearing to herself that she could feel his pulse through his shaft. "On your back, babe." She whispered. 

"Dominant lass, yeah?" He smirked, looking down to admire the doe-like gloss in her eyes. 

"Don't make me ask again."

He couldn't help but smirk at her demand, sincerely loving when she'd get intimately aggressive with him, Kiera being the only person he'd consider being submissive for. He didn't know why, but he loved being bossed around by her - it unlocked a new excitement he never knew he had. "What happens if you do?" 

"Then I guess I'll just satisfy myself." She hummed. 

"Is that right?" He arched his brow, curling his index finger under her chin, forcing her head upward to look up at him. "Those toys of yours don't have the same affect, love." 

"Making yourself feel better, huh?" She giggled, knowing she was pushing his buttons. "On your back." 

"I don't much like being told what to do-"

"Oh, I know, Lieutenant," She hummed, placing a kiss to his chest. "But you're a long way from the barracks, babe. Need I remind you that I technically outranked you if you want to start using terms." 

He inhaled sharply, his chest rising and a tingle traveling through his body, although he still didn't budge. I want to see if she really could make me, but bloody hell, those eyes she's giving me makes me want to fall to my knees and do anything she asked...

"That's what I thought," She giggled after hearing no response from him. "On your back." 

He couldn't help but do as he was told - Kiera being the only person to be able to dominate him. If he were honest, he quite liked being submissive - having her on top of him to her mercy and using him as she pleased. 

He loved it. 

Especially in her wedding dress - the sight alone drove him wild. 

Her dress splayed over him as she straddled his hips, subtly rolling her own hips to grind against his erection. He couldn't help but grasp the fabric of her dress in his hands during his desperate attempt to grasp her hips, leaning his head back against the pillow when he felt himself succumb to her hot core. 

They groaned in unison as his hands firmly held her hips while she slowly slid down on his length, eventually able to fully sheath himself inside of her. 

In roughly three months, the couple had lain together once due to the unfortunate events of the miscarriage in July followed by her father's passing. 

And during that one time, he had begun to use a condom to prevent another pregnancy knowing she had wished to wean from birth control and that he didn't want her to go through another miscarriage. 

It was a decision made by him to use a condom for her sake, knowing the effect hurt her more than it did him.

He knew she had been mentally exhausted - the last thing he wanted for her was to feel like she had an obligation to please him sexually. 

After all, he could care less if she had told him she'd never want to have sex again, knowing that the miscarriage alone was enough to frighten her about the idea of ever getting pregnant again. 

"Fuck!" She hissed, briefly uncomfortable due to the sudden stretch, keeping herself still on him to let her body adjust to his size. 

"Are you alright, love?" 

"Yeah," She nodded, splaying her palms across his chest. "Been too long for us." She admitted, blush staining her cheeks. 

"I'll wait as long as you want me to." He assured her, his hands finally finding the skin of her hips under her dress, gently rubbing circles along her skin with his thumbs. 

Her hips rolled against him, Simon unable to restrict his hips naturally wanting to buck up into her, but he knew she had things in her control when he was under her, completely surrendering himself to her. 

Already overstimulated from his tongue, she had heard herself squelching against him between moans. It was addicting for the pair of them. "You feel so good, love," He admitted, his voice gruff and smooth. "You were bloody made for me." 

She hummed in agreement, leaning her head back to enjoy the sensation he was giving her with just his length alone - his touches and words nearly driving her over the edge every time she felt his skin on hers. 

Suddenly, his forearms hooked under her thighs, effortlessly picking her up off of his length and curling his arms to where her core was level with his face. She braced her hands on the headboard in front of her, tightening her abdomen to keep her full weight from landing on his head. "Simon, I-"

"Don't hold yourself," He warned, his hot breath fanning against her wet folds and making her shiver against him, gasping when she felt his arms tighten around her thighs and pulling her weight down onto his face. "Sit." 

"But I don't want to hurt-"

"-Sit," He said sternly. She was unable to see his threatening gaze by how her dress had spread over his head when he moved her, but she knew that look. "Like a bloody chair." 

"But what if I suffocate you-"

His arms tightened around her thighs and pulled her down onto him, the tip of his nose pressing firmly against her clit, giving her the perfect stimulation while his tongue began to work against her folds, eager to bring her to a second orgasm. He loved when he would bury himself inside of her, but something about pleasing her with his mouth drove him crazy. Like a drug, he would think, musing about how intoxicating her taste was to him. 

He rewarded her with a quickened pace of his tongue when he felt her relax, knowing that gravity was in her favor when she finally realized just how good it felt. And to Simon, the thought made him harder than what he already was - almost painful. 

But he couldn't let up anytime soon. 

She tasted too good. 

Her moans gradually grew louder and louder, her stomach tightening at the sensation of his skilled tongue, goosebumps erecting along her skin when she felt his hands leave her thighs and slide up her back, slowly and delicately unclasping each button that held her dress together, keeping her nude body from him. He knew that if he didn't get that divine dress off of her soon, he'd accidentally end up ruining it. 

Sensing that she was on the brink of her second orgasm, he couldn't help but smirk when he heard a desperate whine leave her lips, knowing it was a punishment for even saying that her toys could get her off faster than he could in a sorry attempt to get him to submit.

With the dress now draping from her shoulders and exposing her breasts, he curled his arms around her waist and gently guided her to lay on her back, placing a hot kiss to her vulva before he guided her to lift her hips to slide the dress from her body, leaving her to be completely nude under him. His hair was now a mess and his chin was glistening with her excitement. Licking his lips clean, he then moved to make a trail of kisses from her hip all the way to her sternum, shooting a quick glance to her before he gave attention to her breasts, expecting her to deny access to them as she was still breastfeeding. Unbeknownst to her, Simon knew that even caressing her nipples were more stimulating than before she was ever pregnant. 

Judging by her sudden moan after he did it, he assumed that she had finally realized.

Especially when she arched her back to press her breasts even closer to his mouth, begging for more than just his hands. "Eager, are we?" 

"You're just teasing me at this point." She giggled playfully. 

"It's what you get for teasing me with the thought of you playing with yourself earlier," He answered, sitting back on his calves to reach for the condom on the nightstand, pinching the corner of the wrapper between his teeth before she stopped him. 

"You won't need that, babe," She spoke, her foot coming up to rest on his hip. "I want to try again." 

"Are you sure?" 

She nodded, "Positive." 

He wanted to ask her what was going through her mind for her to compile her decision, but he didn't want her to think about the reason as to why he had begun wearing condoms in the first place since the miscarriage. "I know we haven't really talked about it prior to the wedding, but-"

"-I love having children with you," He assured her. "I want another one." 

She smiled, "You do? I thought two plus Baler was enough for you." 

"The lad is almost an adult and our two are now a year old. I can't lie to you: I loved seeing you waddle around like a penguin with your belly." 

She laughed as his hands ran up and down her smooth calves, slowly tracing his fingertips to her hot folds, excited at the primal thought of getting her pregnant again, except this time, they were actually trying.

"Best get to it then, babe." She smiled, opening her legs for him when she felt his body lower onto her, their lips locking as his hips lazily pumped against her, teasing her yet again before he snuck his free hand to guide himself into her, the sensation driving him over the edge with her immense warmth and tightness. 

They lay in sensual lust - his hips guiding himself slowly into her as he savored every thrust while she purposely squeezed her walls around him every time he withdrew his hips. His lips were pressed against her neck and jaw while her nails dug into his back, leaving small scratches behind only to encourage another hard thrust from him. "You're so deep," She groaned. 

"I can go deeper," He whispered into her neck.

"H-How?" She asked, surprised. 

He smirked against her jaw before slowly withdrawing from her, "Turn over," He directed, grasping the nearby pillow to place under her abdomen, arching her hips perfectly for the deep angle he was about to let her experience, giving him an unrelenting pace into her G-Spot once he began to thrust. "There you go. Press your thighs together and cross your ankles," He continued, now standing at the edge of the bed, pumping himself lazily as she did as she was told. "I can't lie and say I won't hold myself back from getting rough," He admitted shyly, his head now at her even tighter entrance. "You grip me even tighter like this." 

She began to reply before her mouth opened to a gasp, the hot stretch of his length entering her and pressing against her G-Spot once he fully sheathed himself. "Please get rough, Simon." 

He groaned at her plea, hoping that she knew just how rough he could get. Pressing his palm between her shoulder blades, he did as she requested. 

Relentless, powerful thrusts of his hips snapping into her at a set pace. Each thrust rubbing against her G-Spot, making her toes curl and her back shiver while the pillow under her head collected her loud moans. 

Skin-to-skin contact filled the room along with their moans of pleasure. "Harder." She begged. 

"Are you sure, love?" He whispered, keeping up his pace. "I don't want to hurt you-"

"Harder, Simon," She moaned. "I want you to." 

Bracing one arm next to her head and the other palm between her shoulder blades, his thrusts grew harder and harder, the headboard of the bed now colliding with the wall as the squelching from her core swallowing him drove him wild. He curled his hips downwards every time they snapped, jolting every time he felt the sponge-like flesh of her G-Spot against him. 

Several minutes later, he stilled to release his spend into her, pumping slowly until he too became overstimulated, only keeping up his pace to bring her to her second orgasm before he did. 

With deep breaths, he rewarded her with kisses along the column of her back, slowly withdrawing himself before he helped her move to a comfortable position, smirking at how her mascara pooled at the corners of her eyes before bringing his thumb up to wipe the marks away. 

[rotzaprachim]

bracha to stop looking for things on the internet that will make me angry

[all4yoi]

𝒥ust a bet﹕hyung line

𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ︎︎⚹︎ cw: angst, no fluff (yet), reader is mostly viewed as a loser and nerd, lowercase intended, kinda went overboard with hoon's, reader gets called a bitch once, not proofread!

sypnosis﹕after a few months of dating, you find out you were just a bet.

part two !

★ LEE HEESEUNG (wc 0.3k)

you and lee heeseung has been dating for a total of five months, and throughout those months you can confidently say that you were the happiest. he was the perfect boyfriend, his family loved you and so did yours.

today, heeseung promised he would take you on a date after his basketball practice despite your protests on how he should be resting instead. you wouldn't have agreed if it weren't for the fact that he had shot you with his pleading big doe eyes that never fails to make you agree on whatever he asks for. 

so here you were, making your way towards the gymnasium with your bag hanging on your left shoulder. the lack of dribbling and smacking basketball noise from behind the closed doors told you that their practice was done.

entering quietly out of habit, you were about to approach your boyfriend when you overheard his teammates talking to him.

"don't tell me you're still with her?" asked one of boys, an amused smile on his face. heeseung only raised a brow.

"what? you won the bet, you can dump her now. you're ruining our image you know? plus she's a total nerd and loser, you're much better with someone like yunhee." and with only just a few words, you felt your world crashing down.

right, who would date someone like you? you always found it weird, that heeseung just approached you one day in your biology class with the cheekiest smile on his face. the fact that he wouldn't leave you alone until you've agreed to go on a date with him. it all made sense now, why the popular basketball captain suddenly gained interest on the school's "biggest nerd."

"speaking of.." another guy spoke, nodding towards you with a cheeky smile. heeseung turned around only to be met with your glassy eyes.

you didn't move, wanting to hear him defend you. wanting to tell his teammates that you weren't a bet and he actually liked you throughout the months you two have been dating.

his silence said everything and with that you turned away and ran out of the gym.

"shit." he muttered, running after you.

★ PARK JONGSEONG (wc 0.3k)

"i'll pick you up later, okay?" your boyfriend of almost a year said softly through the phone. you've been dating jay since the first week of your first year in uni, others found your relationship weird. maybe because back in high school, jay never and refused to even spare you a glance. he was an asshole who looked at you as if you were the epitome of disgusting.

but the past is in the past now, right?

"okay baby, see you." you reply and put your phone down on your table, knowing that he's usually the one who ends the call.

you go back to the papers scattered on your table. the silence in your room was disturbed by sudden noises in your phone, turning to look, you see that jay hasn't ended the call.

picking your phone up with a smile, you were about to call out for him but a voice stopped you.

"i can't believe you've gone this far dude." you recognized the slightly muffled voice, it was a friend of jongseong's.

"what do you mean?" your boyfriend grumbled. the audio was muffled, you figured he was moving and the phone was in his pocket.

"you're still dating her!" the voice exclaimed, as if amused. "seriously, i didn't think you'd take that bet seriously. fine you win, i'll clean your car for a month. but you've gotta cut it out, you're starting to disgust me." the boy laughed.

before you could hear what your boyfriend would say, you ended the call. your hand was trembling and tears were falling from your eyes unconsciously.

were all those months just a joke to him? were your feelings really worth a free car wash for just a month? were you that unworthy?

jay was an asshole back in high school, you thought he changed. turns out he didn't, you felt like a fool for falling for his antics.

★ SIM JAEYUN (wc 0.3k)

if someone would be asked who you were, they'd all say the same thing. a loner, pathetic loser, and a nobody with a pretty face.

because what was a pretty face if you had no friends and a social life?

you almost believed you would die alone, you were too socially awkward to make friends. so when sim jaeyun, the transferee, approached you with a warm smile and a hand outstretched for a shake, you were beyond shocked.

your relationship went from being block mates, friends, then next thing you knew you two were dating. at first you were reluctant to enter a relationship, scared that it would ruin your friendship, but he insisted you both tried. that was three months ago.

you didn't have any friends, but atleast you had jake.

jake who smiles at you as if you had carved the stars in your hands. jake who would never forget to bring your coffee every morning. he was everything you ever needed. he was it for you, you only hoped he felt the same towards you.

walking through the hallway of the school, you stopped infront of your locker only to be met with a sticky note on it.

HOW LONG CAN JAKE LAST WITH LOSER L/N?

A WEEK : 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - III

FIVE MONTHS : 卌 - I

A YEAR : II

Furrowing your brows, you stare at the note as your breathing grew heavy. It was obvious that the paper was old, it had folds and it was only stuck on your locker with a washi tape.

"what are you doing l/n? go on, cast your vote." a mocking voice said from beside you followed by a bunch of laughter. "personally, i thought he'd last a day. i guess i'll vote for five months then." then the hand went and tallied on the five months category.

"what's going on here?" upon hearing your boyfriend's voice, you fled away immediately, not wanting to face him. everytime something good happens in your life, it's always ripped away from you. jake was just like them, you were just a toy for their own entertainment.

★ PARK SUNGHOON (wc 0.5k)

"i'm sorry baby, i really am busy with practice tomorrow." your boyfriend, sunghoon, says in genuine sorry. it was the fifth time you have asked him to meet your parents, who also by the way was so desperate to meet the boy you've been dating for seven months now.

every time you ask him, he's always busy. either with practice, a project, a family matter, or whatever excuse he can come up with. but you always brush it off, knowing he means well and he really is busy as he's an athlete student.

"i'll meet them next week, okay? i promise." that's also the same thing he says everytime too, and once again, you only nod in response.

you and sunghoon met in a physics class. he was clutching his head with a frown on his face as he desperately tried to understand what the professor was going on about.

you remember clearly the way he approached you in the library, a physics book on his left hand as his right scratched his nape. "can.. i noticed- uh, can you help me with this topic?"

that was where your relationship started. you tutored him and helped him improve his grade. when he got an A on the finals, he kissed you on the lips in glee. he was taken aback by his own actions but nevertheless asked you out after.

"i love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your temple. "let me get something from my room." you hum in response as he takes his arm that was previously wrapped around you before going up to his room.

you can't help but notice the way his phone was blowing up from beside you.

you weren't the type to snoop around other people's phones, especially your boyfriend. it just felt wrong, you trusted him fully. but the way it kept ringing with text notifications, you just couldn't help it.

looking back to the stairs, you note he isn't back and there was still rummaging noises from his room.

taking his phone, you enter his passcode and read the messages from one of his group chats.

JONGSU

lol don't tell me she asked again.. em ba rrah sing

DAEHYUN

hahah when is she gonna take a hint?? 💀

JOON

you gonna blame her? hoon's been at it for months lmao

DAEHYUN

i actually can't believe he went that far, wasn't it only supposed to be for a month? 🗿

JONGSU

a week actually, but ig that bitch y/n was so easy. yk hoon likes to get his ego fed 💀💀

putting the phone down, you exhaled in disbelief. you took your bag from the floor and threw it over your shoulder and went to the door of his apartment to put your shoes back on.

"baby?" sunghoon emerged from the stairs, looking at you curiously. "you're going already?" he asked, extending an arm towards you but you slapped it away. the tears on your eyes shocking him.

"hey, hey what's wrong?" he tried again but his hand was yet again slapped away.

"i don't want to see you ever again." was the last words you uttered to him (shakily) before leaving his apartment.

[lizziesangel]

RAFE CAMERON ⟢ taking care of you

x FEM!reader ⟢ MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: based on this request

WORD COUNT: +3.7K

GENRE: fluff

CONTENT WARNING: reader is pregnant, soft!rafe cameron (to you anyway), talks of nausea and vomiting

the streets of the outer banks were quiet, except for the distant crashing of waves and the occasional bark of a stray dog. the four of you—sarah, kie, john b, and yourself—had split up to search for jj, who had gone on yet another self-destructive bender. the tension was thick in the air, but you barely noticed it, your focus entirely on the uneasy churning in your stomach.

it wasn’t just stress. the nausea had been growing worse by the day. you could feel it now, bubbling under the surface, threatening to spill over.

“are you okay?” sarah asked, looking back at you. she’s been keeping close, ever the protective sister-figure, but her sharpness softened when she noticed how tired you looked.

“i’m fine,” you lied, your voice tight. “i’ll be right back. i just... i just need to—”

you didn’t finish. instead, you veered off down the street, away from her questioning gaze, and toward the first place that caught your eye: pitts st. pharmacy.

the store was a mess, looted and trashed, shelves toppled and goods scattered across the floor. you stepped inside, heart hammering, and made your way through the debris. the nagging fear that had been gnawing at you for weeks now screamed in your head. it couldn’t be true, but you needed to know for sure.

your eyes scanned the wreckage until you found what you were looking for: a small box of pregnancy tests, dented but intact. grabbig it, you made your way to the bathroom at the back of the store.

inside, the lights flickered dimly. the sink was covered in grime, and the toilet looked worse, but none of that mattered. you locked the door behind you and ripped open the box, your hands shaking.

minutes later, you sat on the edge of the sink, staring at the test in your hands.

two lines.

“no,” you whispered to yourself, shaking your head as if you could will the result to change. but it didn’t. it stayed the same—two unmistakable, life-altering lines.

you were broke, had no place to stay, and were currently under stress from everything that was happening. you barely had any food. how could you care for a child?

you felt the nausea return with a vengeance, and you barely made it to the toilet before you started throwing everything up.

a loud knock at the door startled you mid-heave.

“y/n?” kie’s voice came through, worried and muffled. “are you in there? are you okay?”

you couldn’t bring yourself to answer, wiping your mouth as your body trembled. the door creaked open, and sarah stepped in, kie close behind her. their faces were a mixture of confusion and concern.

“holy shit,” she said, taking in the state of you. “what happened?”

sarah’s eyes flicked to the sink, where the pregnancy test sat. her jaw dropped, and for a second, she just stared at you, stunned.

“oh my gosh,” sarah whispered. “are you—”

you cut her off with a tear running down your face, “don’t say it, if you say it, it means it’s real. i can’t do this.”

you buried your face in your hands, unable to face her. “i didn’t mean for this to happen,” you choked out, your voice breaking, and your heart followed.

kie grabbed the test, her brows furrowing as she saw the result. “is this real?”

you nodded, still shaking.

“okay, okay,” sarah said, crouching beside you. her voice was calm, but there was an edge of urgency in it. “we’re going to figure this out.”

she took a step closer, her expression shocked. “does rafe know you’ve been feeling like that?”

your stomach twisted again, this time with a different kind of nausea. “no,” you admitted. “i haven’t told anyone.”

kie crossed her arms, glancing at you. “well, this explains why you’ve been so out of it lately,” she said, her voice softer than usual.

the lump in your throat grew, and fresh tears spilled down your cheeks. “i just don’t know what to do,” you admitted, your voice breaking.

sarah pulled you into a hug, her arms strong and steady. “you don’t have to figure it out right now,” she said softly. “one step at a time. we’ll help you, i promise.”

you blinked at her, surprised by the warmth in her voice. “you’re not mad?”

sarah shook her head. “no. i mean… i won’t lie, this is a lot. but i’m not mad. rafe’s… complicated,” she admitted, her tone careful. “but he’s still my brother. and you’re our best friend. we’ll deal with this, whatever happens.”

kie sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “yeah. i mean, i still think rafe is a total disaster, but… we’re here for you. whatever you need.”

“thank you,” you managed to crack a smile but your voice still cracked.

the boat rocked gently over the waves, the endless ocean stretching out in every direction as the pogues sailed toward morocco. the salty air was cool against your skin, but your nerves were hotter than ever. below deck, in the cramped bathroom, rafe was tied up like cargo—his usual sneer subdued by whatever storm was brewing in his mind.

sarah and kiara sat beside you near the railing, both trying to make small talk to distract you from the weight of your secret. you hadn’t told anyone else yet—only them. sarah had been protective from the moment she found out, and kie, despite her initial shock, had become a steadying presence. but you knew you couldn’t keep this from the others forever.

it had to come out now, before someone else pieced it together.

john b, jj, pope, and cleo were sitting farther up on the deck, laughing about something jj had said, the tension of the past few days temporarily pushed aside. you took a deep breath and glanced at sarah. she squeezed your hand reassuringly, nodding.

“alright,” you said, your voice trembling slightly as you stood. “i need to tell you guys something.”

the laughter died down, and all four of them turned to look at you. jj raised an eyebrow, while cleo leaned back, her arms crossed, her expression curious but calm.

“what’s up?” john b asked, tilting his head.

you hesitated, your hands shaking as you clutched the edge of your hoodie. kie stood up beside you, her presence a quiet show of support, and sarah followed suit, stepping forward slightly like a shield.

“so, uh... i’m pregnant,” you blurted out, the words spilling from your lips before you could overthink them again.

the silence that followed was deafening.

jj blinked a few times, his mouth hanging open. pope froze, the book in his hands slipping onto the deck. john b stared at you, his face blank with shock, while cleo tilted her head slightly, her lips pressing into a thoughtful line.

“wait, what?” jj finally said, breaking the silence. “you’re serious? like… a baby?”

“yes, jj,” sarah’s voice was serious, with a small hint of enthousiasm. “a baby.”

pope’s brows furrowed as he leaned forward, his voice cautious. “uh… does he know?”

you shook your head quickly. “no. and i don’t want him to know. not yet, i think. i need to figure out what I’m going to do first.”

john b ran a hand through his hair, glancing toward the cabin. “he’s going to find out eventually. you know that, right?”

“yeah, but not now,” sarah said, stepping closer to you. “she doesn’t owe him anything. not until she’s ready.”

jj finally seemed to process what you’d said, his usual smirk replaced by something more sincere. “holy shit,” he muttered, looking at you like he was seeing you for the first time. “you’re gonna be a mom.”

cleo stood, brushing off her pants as she walked over to you. she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, her eyes soft and understanding. “hey,” she said, her voice low but warm. “you alright? how’re you feelin’? you eatin’ enough?”

the sudden shift to motherly concern caught you off guard, and your throat tightened as tears pricked your eyes. “i… i’m okay,” you said, your voice shaky. “i mean, not really, but i’m trying.”

cleo nodded, her hand moving to rub your back. “good. ‘cause you gotta take care of yourself now, you hear me? you need anything, you come to us. don’t keep it all bottled up.”

her kindness undid you, and before you knew it, you were crying, tears streaming down your face as all the emotions you’d been holding in came flooding out. cleo pulled you into a hug, her arms strong and comforting.

“it’s okay,” she murmured. “we got you.”

jj scratched the back of his head, his expression torn between awkwardness and a genuine desire to help. “uh… do you, like, need anything? cravings or whatever? i could… i don’t know, fish or something?”

“geez, jj,” kie said, rolling her eyes, though there was a faint smile on her lips.

“what?” jj said, throwing up his hands. “i’m trying to be helpful!”

pope finally broke his silence, his voice calm but thoughtful. “this is big,” he said. “but you don’t have to do it alone. we’re a team, and we’ve got your back.”

john b nodded, though his expression was still conflicted. “yeah. we’ll figure it out, together.”

sarah crossed her arms, her gaze flicking toward the cabin. “i don’t know if rafe being a dad is going to be a good thing,” she said quietly. “but i know for sure, that you can always count on us.”

you wiped your face, looking around at your friends—your family. despite the chaos of the situation, the weight on your chest felt a little lighter.

“thanks, guys,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

cleo gave you a gentle squeeze before stepping back. “alright. now you sit down, drink some water, and take it easy. baby’s already got enough drama in its life with this crew.”

that earned a few laughs, breaking the tension on the deck. even jj cracked a grin, though his eyes were still darting toward the cabin like he was expecting rafe to burst out at any moment.

the storm rolled in faster than any of you expected. the dark clouds roared overhead, the wind screaming as waves battered the small boat. rain lashed at your face as you clung to the railing, your knuckles white as the boat pitched violently.

“hold it steady!” john b yelled from the helm, fighting to keep the boat on course.

“we’re trying!” pope shouted back, struggling to tie down a loose rope.

everyone was scrambling, shouting over the howling wind, when your eyes darted toward the cabin where rafe was still tied up. the boat lurched again, and you realized the storm was too much for the pogues to handle alone.

you turned to cleo, who was gripping a rope near the mast. “cleo!” you shouted.

she looked up, rain streaming down her face. “what?”

“untie rafe! we need his help!”

her brows furrowed in hesitation, but another massive wave slammed into the boat, nearly knocking her off her feet. “you sure about this?”

“just do it!” you yelled, already moving toward the railing to help pope with the ropes.

cleo disappeared into the cabin, and moments later, rafe stumbled out onto the deck, his wrists free but still red from the ropes. his eyes were wild, darting around as he took in the chaos.

“help with the sail!” kie barked at him, pointing toward the mast.

for once, rafe didn’t argue. he jumped into action, his strength proving useful as he wrestled with the ropes alongside pope and jj.

oyu turned back toward the deck, trying to keep your footing as the boat tilted dangerously. the storm’s fury was disorienting, and the slippery surface of the deck made every step treacherous.

then it happened.

your foot slipped on a patch of wet wood, and you stumbled forward. before you could catch yourself, the boat lurched again, and the railing vanished beneath you.

“y/n!” rafe’s voice tore through the storm as you plunged into the icy water.

the cold was a shock, stealing the breath from your lungs as you struggled to orient yourself in the churning waves. you heard shouts from the boat above, barely audible over the roar of the storm.

jj’s voice was the loudest. “i’m going after her!”

“be careful!” john b yelled after him. “think about the baby! don’t squeeze her stomach!”

the words hung in the air, cutting through the chaos. on deck, rafe froze, his hands gripping the mast as his head whipped toward john b.

“what did he say?” he demanded, his voice sharp despite the storm.

sarah turned to him, her face pale, but there was no time to explain. another wave crashed over the boat, and she grabbed onto the railing, shouting at him to focus.

his eyes narrowed, jaw tightening, but he said nothing. instead, he turned his gaze to the water, scanning for any sign of you or jj.

hours passed, the storm finally beginning to die down as the sun peeked through the clouds. the pogues had managed to navigate to a small stretch of land, pulling the boat onto a rocky shore. the group was soaked, exhausted, and anxious.

sarah was pacing along the water’s edge, arms wrapped around herself. her lips were pressed into a thin line, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “it’s been too long,” she muttered, her voice strained.

“they’ll be back,” cleo said, trying to sound confident, though her eyes betrayed her own concern.

sarah shook her had and paced back and forth, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. “they should’ve come back by now,” she said, her voice cracking.

“they will,” pope said, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced.

rafe stood apart from the group, his arms crossed as he stared out at the horizon. his mind was racing, replaying john b’s words over and over again.

“think about the baby.”

he clenched his jaw and turned toward sarah, his voice sharp but controlled. “you knew, didn’t you?”

she stopped pacing, her eyes narrowing. “knew what?”

“don’t play dumb,” he snapped. “about her—about the fact she’s pregnant.”

the rest of the pogues glanced at each other, unsure whether to intervene. sarah sighed, walking closer to him.

“yes, i knew,” she admitted, her tone calm. “she told us a while ago.”

“and you didn’t think i had a right to know?” rafe’s voice rose slightly, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. “you thought it was okay to keep that to yourself? to keep it from me?”

“she wasn’t ready to tell you,” sarah said, keeping her voice steady. “this isn’t about you, rafe. it’s about her—and her baby.”

rafe scoffed, running a hand through his wet hair. “my baby! it is about me, sarah. it’s my—our kid! and none of you thought i should know? that’s not your call to make.”

kie stepped forward, arms crossed. “she’s been through a lot, rafe. maybe think about her feelings for once instead of your own.”

rafe glared at her, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. “i’m thinking about her and the baby, okay? i just—” he broke off, pacing a few steps away before turning back to face them. “she’s out there, in the water, and nobody bothered to tell me anything. do you know what that feels like?”

john b, who had been silent until now, raised a hand. “alright, chill, bro. she didn’t want you to know yet. we were just trying to respect that.”

rafe shook his head, muttering under his breath. “unbelievable.”

pope, ever the peacemaker, cleared his throat. “look, what’s done is done. the important thing is finding them. once they’re back, we can figure all this out. together.”

before anyone could respond, cleo’s sharp voice cut through the tension. “wait. look!”

all heads turned toward the shoreline. two figures emerged from the distance.

“is that—” sarah started, but rafe didn’t wait for confirmation.

“y/n!” he shouted, already breaking into a run.

the others followed as rafe sprinted across the rocky terrain, his heart pounding in his chest. the moment he reached you, he didn’t hesitate. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight embrace despite how drenched and exhausted you were.

“you’re okay,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “thank God.”

jj, who was supporting you with one arm, stepped back with a faint smirk. “guess i’m chopped liver now,” he muttered, though his eyes betrayed his relief.

“shut up, j,” sarah said, brushing past him to check on you. “are you hurt? is the baby okay?”

jj made a wincing sound, “i’m good as well, thanks for asking.”

you nodded weakly, your voice barely audible. “i’m okay. we’re okay.”

rafe pulled back slightly, his hands still gripping your shoulders as he searched your face. “why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

you hesitated, your gaze flicking to the others before landing back on him. “i didn’t know how,” you admitted. “i didn’t know what you’d do.”

his expression softened, though the frustration still lingered in his eyes. “i’m not perfect, y/n, but i deserved to know. you should’ve told me.”

“i know,” you whispered. “i’m sorry.”

he exhaled deeply, shaking his head. “we’ll figure it out. but next time, don’t keep me in the dark, okay?”

you nodded, tears stinging your eyes as relief washed over you.

the rest of the pogues watched from a few feet away, the tension easing as they saw the interaction. cleo crossed her arms with a satisfied smirk. “looks like things are about to get real interesting around here.”

kiara rolled her eyes. “as if they weren’t already.”

“alright, people,” john b said, clapping his hands. “let’s get back on the boat. we’ve got a long way to go, and i don’t think this baby is waiting for us to sort out our drama.”

everyone chuckled softly, the storm behind them in more ways than one as they headed back toward the boat—together.

the sun was blazing overhead as the boat pulled into the small, bustling port of a coastal moroccan town. the storm was a distant memory now, though the tension it left behind was still palpable. the pogues were quiet as they docked, the salt-crusted air mingling with the scents of spices and fresh fish wafting from the market nearby.

rafe hadn’t let go of your hand since the moment he had you back, and he wasn’t about to start now. his grip was firm but gentle, his thumb occasionally brushing against your skin as if to reassure himself that you were still there.

“you feelin’ okay?” he asked quietly, leaning closer to you as the group began unloading supplies.

“i’m fine,” you said for what felt like the hundredth time, though the way your heart fluttered at his concern betrayed your frustration.

he didn’t seem convinced. “you need water? food? to sit down for a bit?”

oyu sighed, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “rafe, i’m okay. really.”

sarah, who had been listening with mild amusement, rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag. “rafe, she’s pregnant, not fragile. let her breathe.”

he shot her a glare but didn’t respond, his attention still on you. “just let me know if you need anything,” he said softly.

“i will,” you promised, squeezing his hand.

as the group made their way into the town, the cobblestone streets came alive with vibrant colors and sounds. market stalls were bursting with fruits, textiles, and handcrafted goods, and merchants called out in several languages to passersby. the sheer energy of the place was overwhelming but invigorating.

jj whistled low, his eyes scanning the scene. “man, this place is something else.”

“keep your eyes on the mission,” pope reminded him, though even he couldn’t hide his awe.

cleo grinned, nudging you lightly. “bet you could use some of this food right about now, huh? what’s baby hungry for?”

you laughed, shaking your head. “we’re good, cleo, i promise. let’s just focus on finding groff.”

“still, wouldn’t hurt to grab something for later,” rafe said, already scanning the nearest stalls.

sarah groaned. “rafe, i swear, if you don’t chill—”

“leave him be,” john b cut in with a smirk. “it’s kinda funny. in an overbearing, borderline-annoying way.”

rafe ignored them both, steering you gently toward a fruit stand. “pick something. anything.”

you sighed but complied, grabbing a couple of oranges. the merchant smiled warmly as he handed over a few bills, and you couldn’t help but notice how his demeanor had shifted. gone was the sharp-edged, volatile rafe you were used to. in his place was someone softer, more attentive—a side of him you hadn’t seen before.

as the group continued deeper into the town, jj walked beside you, his voice low. “how are you feeling? really.”

“i’m good, i think,” you said honestly. “it’s just... a lot to take in.”

he nodded, her expression thoughtful. “rafe’s... different with you. i mean, not completely different, but it’s like he actually cares. that’s new.”

you glanced at rafe, who was busy arguing with pope about directions. a small smile tugged at your lips. “yeah. it is.”

before jj could respond, john b waved the group over. “alright, we’ve got a lead,” he said, holding up a map. “groff’s last known location is a few miles inland. we need to keep moving if we’re gonna catch him.”

the group fell into step, following john b through the winding streets. rafe stayed close to you, his hand never leaving yours, his protectiveness unwavering.

“let me carry your bag,” he offered as the heat bore down on the group.

“rafe, i’ve got it,” you said, though your tone was more amused than annoyed.

he gave you a look but didn’t push the issue. insteaf, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch surprisingly gentle. “you sure?”

“i’m sure,” you said softly, your chest tightening at the concern in his eyes.

for a moment, the chaos of your journey faded, and it was just the two of you, standing in the middle of a foreign town, surrounded by the buzz of life. depsite everything—the storm, the baby, the uncertainty of what lay ahead—you felt a flicker of peace.

“we’ll figure this out,” rafe said, his voice low but steady. “all of it. i promise.”

and for the first time, you believed him.

[animeshotsh]

Moms | Jinx x Fem!Reader | Arcane ¤

Summary: You are worried since your girlfriend has dissapear since Silco's death. Only for her to show up at your home, but not alone.

Warnings: SFW - SOFT - OFF CANON IN TERMS OF TIME - Worm joke - grammar mistakes - spoiler s2 - sad!reader - mentions of alcohol -

Even since the big explosion that took place in the uppercity the undercity had gone into a crisis of gang fights and just more violence.

No one really knew what had happened, there were rumors of Silco being dead, but who attacked the uppercity?

Well, since Jinx your girlfriend was a fan of gadgets, guns and bombs, and how she had stopped coming to your home to visit you, you connected the dots.

Then when her face was in a wanted poster it became real.

God you were scared for her, where was she? Was she safe? You did check her usual hideouts and the ones that were secretly for the both of you so no one would target you. But nothing. You were left with zero trace of her.

You had to push yourself out of your home to work and put a fake face of not caring when someone mentioned her, or when you saw the enforcments go around.

~~~~~~

Your day was long, so when you finally got home you left yourself fall on the old couch. Dust covered the place even if you have tried many times to clean it.

Just like any other night you started to feel sad, memories of you and Jinx coming back. How you met her, how she seemed curious of you at first and how you had felt like her experiment, then your first kiss with her, the cuddles, doing her hair and nails....

And so you started to cry again but your spiral of depression would have to wait since a knock at your door alerted you.

Now, you were born and raised in the undercity, you knew how dangerous it could be, thats why you have trained yourself on being able to use knifes and be quick on your feet.

You swiftly took out your blade going in silence towards the door, the knocking continued, being more frenetic.

Your heart went up fast your brain already thinking on vitals points to hit and a back door from the apparment complex till you hear it.

"No! Im not shooting her door"

That voice...

"Well because she is nice? You will love her, but no more than me"

You went quickly and opened it revealing a figure under a cape, but you could see the blue hair and pink eyes.

You were fast on pulling her in, no noticing the small kid that followed by her hand.

"Jinx! Fucking hell, are you alright? Wait, thats blood? Its not yours right? I need to get you cleaned, hold up"

Just as you were going to go and look for something she pulled you back and kissed you, it felt different, like this was a kiss that was more to ground herself than anything.

"Just...just shut up. And its not mine"

Jinx said getting away a bit. She could see your worried expression and by the look of your aparment and the alcohol bottles she could tell you had been dealing with a lot.

Fuck, why did she hurt anyone who got close?

Her mind stopped when she saw you go down on your knees and see behind her leg.

"Why do you have a kid with you?" You asked seeing the dirty kid who looked back at you then at Jinx then at you.

Jinx and the kid seemed to talk without saying a word, then with a nod from her the kid went to you and hugged you.

You were suprised and a bit taken back, but hugged her back.

"Suprise! You are a mom now, I know you have said how you wanted to adopt a kid if you could"

You gave a Jinx a pointed look then separated from the kid who had a different look now, a look of...fondness?

"Jinx...I- Im not even going to ask. Im just glad you are fine"

Her heart broke at your honest words and loving smile. She did swear no one would take you from her.

~~~~~~~~

Jinx insisted on you moving to her hideout, saying that someone could have seen her and your house was not safe anymore.

Honestly? You thought she was trying to make her own world there. A place where she, Isah and you could live under colors, see insects fights. Play hideout and just....be a family.

When Isah went to sleep you went to Jinx who was messing with her old gun, not getting it back together just...moving pieces.

"Jinx, you know this cant last forever" You had started to say slowly getting her to stop messing and look at you.

"Dont tell me you agree with lefty?"

You snorted at the nickname she had gave to Sevika.

"No, well maybe a bit. Look i dont want you to be a vigilant or anything, i want you to be whatever you wanna be. But, we are in difficult times now, and you Jinx" You said taking her hands in yours "You are what is keeping the others together, something i have never imagined"

"Because I jinx everything, right?"

You moved your head and made her look directly at you.

"You dont do that. Stop saying that. You met me, and we are together right? We have been together for so long, i dont plan on going anywhere".

"...Even if i turn into a worm?"

"Yes Jinx, even if you turn into a worm. I will still be at your side, loving you  and caring for you. But i wont let you be on our fights, sorry but you would be a loser"

And with both of your laughts the bitter reallity seemed to go away at least for now.

[goldsbitch]

monaco kiss .wav

Lando's mildly exhibitionist dreams came true. Due to genius sound engineering, the world can now listen to him and his girlfriend having sex, without a clue it's them.

the track mentioned and referenced (no need to listen to it to get the story, go and be free): French Kiss - The Original Underground Mix, Lil'Louis, The World (credit where credit is due)... 05:30 is the timestamp

word count: 7k

warning: smut, minors DNI, p in v, oral sex, voice notes, colapinto level amount of the word "mate"

PS: i rarely do, but I fuckin love this one

If there was ever a place where Lando could spend hours and hours on end, it was the blue couch at Martin Garrix's personal studio. That piece of furniture was the peak of comfy. He'd asked many times where he got it - if only Martin could remember that.

The whole studio has a cozy vibe around it. A safe space for the F1 star to escape the ever-present eyes of the public, a timeless place where he could wind down and sit passively, while his friend digged notes for hits of the future. They'd often sit for hours in silence, just winding down.

To Lando's joy, the ultimate friend chemistry he had with Martin also worked for him and his, not-so-new-anymore, girlfriend Y/N. In fact, the moment these two met, it was clear that Y/N would quickly become a frequent member of their private recording sessions.

But this time, she had to be in a different city due to work, so it was just the boys, the olden days. Back when Lando would actually dabble in DJ'ing. Those days were long gone, but...It wasn't a rare thing that Lando would help and brainstorm ideas, chord progressions or effects applied to the tracks. What the public didn't know was that he was a loud creative force behind some elements in Martin's recent tracks. Lando had almost threatened him, urging to keep this behind closed door. He wasn't gonna Leclerc this one out.

"You look beat, mate," said Martin finally after nearly two hours of staring into track nods. Lando finally looked up from his phone.

"I'm waiting for you to be done, bro," he replied simply, reffering back to their debate regarding this latest track. A pause. "You know my opinion."

Max turned around to face him, only to find a signature overplayed smirk looking back at him. "You know what, I'm a fucking renowned producer, and you have the decency to come and tell me my track is shit?"

Lando did not flinch. This as a fairly normal way they'd speak together. "Well, someone apparently has to," he shot back, challenging Martin to flip out.

"Screw you," he replied and turned back to face his three monitors. Lando waited patiently, knowing that this was his signature first reaction to criticism. He always came around eventually. Max was his friend. And he would do everything to stop him from releasing crap. "Ok," he heard the DJ say, caving in to his doubts. "I am too deep in this track anyway. Tell me what you think."

"Mate, you said you wanted to do something more experimental. You forgot to add boring," Lando deadpanned.

Martin sighed loudly and leaned back to his chair.

"Don't get me wrong, I fucking love how you go from like - what, 120bpm?-"

"135-"

"Yeah, whatever," Lando said, not happy when Martin used his i-know-music-theory-and-you-don't tone. "As I was gonna say, the come down from the fast tempo to the painfully slow one, in the middle of the track, kind of works. It's certainly nothing like I'd heard play anywhere lately. But like, there is nothing in the production that makes it stand out? Like no real build up or interesting sound."

Lando knew it was brutal from him. But he wasn't there to pat his friend on the back. Just like Martin would never fake compliment his on a bad race. To Lando, this was peak friendship.

Martin hit quick save and closed the file abruptly, startling a minor panic in his friend. Did Lando overstep?

"Come on, mate. Don't copout now."

Martin was visibly startled. "Maybe I just need to put this one down for a moment. Lando did not know what to say to that. He might be right.

"Cig break?"

//

They were standing at the small balcony connected to main entrance to the studio, cigarette smokes mixing together. Yeah, Lando did enjoy an occasional smoke break with his friend. A guilty pleasure one might say.

"So, what was the starting point of the track?" he couldn't help but ask, still not happy to see his friend aborting something he'd spend hours on.

Martin gave him an annoyed look, but did not hesitate to reply. "Remember how the conversation I had about techno tracks being awfully predictable?."

Lando eyes shot up. "Wait, that weird chick you ran into in Germany?"

Rarely would Martin blush, but today was a lucky day apparently. A mocking snort came as a reaction from his friend. "Mate, I don't remember ever seeing you so flustered because of a girl." Few weeks ago, Martin had the fortune of meeting someone who he called "the love of his life" in a random club. And that girl had the audacity to leave him on read for hours. Him, Martin Garrix. Infuriating.

"Yeah, well, fuck you. She was real cool, alternative and reminded me of why I got into music in the first place. Let's revisit how insufferable you were when you met Y/N." Lando exhaled, forever happy anytime anyone ever brought up him and Y/N meeting. If it were up to him, that would be the only thing he's talk about. Getting to know her was like the best kind of drunk one can get. Tipsy enough to make everything fun and perfect, and not too much to get lost in it.

"Fuck off, I was never as insufferable as this," he defended, deep down knowing he might have been even worse. But, he and Y/N ended up dating. Poor Martin was desperate even for a reply.

"Whatever," Martin remarked and put his cigarette out in the overflowing ashtray. This small gesture reminded Lando why he was friends with this guy, the precious safe-space he managed to create. If there was a moment to act as a friend, it was this one.

"Shut up and let's get back to the track. We just gotta let loose a bit, that's all," he said, determined to get Martin out of the rut of his own head.

//

They'd been sitting for another hour, the sun long gone from their sight, two vodka soda's mixed from personal studio bar in, dozens of old tracks analyzed.

Martin played the middle section once again. Lando's head was mindlessly nodding into the beat they'd added and it was starting to look kind of good for the track. But it was not exceptional. And if Lando was trying to help Martin get the attention of some pseudo-pretentious alternative chick, they had to step up their game.

"Can you recall any track which uses the same level of tempo slow down? We could like, I dunno, look into why it works when other people did it and maybe something will come up." Lando often drew inspiration from other artists, something Martin usually hated. But, desperate times.

The racer watched the DJ and suddenly, as it was as if the musical equivalent of the DRS just hit him, his eyes went wide and he stood up.

"Of course!" Martin exclaimed and started pacing around the room. Lando was obviously surprised and kept still, hoping for the best, really. He watched his friend, walking back and forth around the room, deep in his own thoughts and searching for something on his phone.

"Yes! That's it," he finally said happily and put a song up to their loud speakers. The excited look he gave to Lando was almost scary. "You're gonna absolutely love this one," he continued with absolute confidence.

Lando prayed for this to be good, otherwise he was going to have to start getting worried about his friend's sanity, based on the crazy eyes.

The song started with a steady, four-on-the-floor beat (or that was what Lando had assumed). It was a typical 1980's techno track, fast, repetitive with a strong bass line.

But they were almost four minutes in and nothing that would stand out in any way was coming out of this track. Lando could not help but give Martin a doubtful look, not really getting what he was excited about. But Martin was there, nodding his head to the beat, in his own world. He must have sensed Lando's so-far-unimpressed expression, so he shot him a quick smile and gestured for him to wait. Finally, something started to happen and just like in Martin's new track, the music started to slow up on the tempo, quite dramatically. It got Lando somewhat hooked. And then-

And then! He thought he was imagining things. That his mind created sounds in his own head out of boredom.

Instead of a new instrumental added a vocal component was added. The most sensual female moan started to dominate the track, as the tempo kept slowing down. Lando felt his stomach dropped and hair and the back of his neck stand. It was sensual, almost vulgar in fact. Like some sort of elegant porn track playing over the original beat. Unapologetic. And it was increasing. What started as a somewhat socially acceptable sigh, turned into a full on orgasm moan - and as the music almost stopped, the female voice was taking on the main stage, full on peak. Thank God the walls were sound proofed. Lando cock was twitching. He tried to ignore Martin, who was grinning like a school boy first time seeing a porn video. And once the voice finally reached a peak, the music started to pick up, leftover moans cutting through the beat. Only then was Lando able to look Martin in the eye and got out of the semi-trance this track got him into. Finally the tempo fully picked up and the nine minute song was over.

"Uhh..." Lando got his initial reaction out and stared into the screen. Martin was there, unable to contain his laughter.

"You look flushed, mate, you good?" he teased, obviously pleased with himself for getting Lando out of his comfort zone.

Lando was finally getting back to Earth and couldn't help but to release a girl-like giggle. "Yeah, mate...I think if you do something like that, you will break the internet almost definitely."

What Martin could not know, because they did not have that kind of a relationship, was that Lando's phone was full of noise recordings of him and Y/N having sex. She was quite a vocal person. And he was a bit of a naughty boy, asked for a permission to record a sex tape nearly dozens of times. His girlfriend was probably right in refusing to do so, given the fact that if a video got out, it would be a disaster for both of them. But, an audio? One without any names mentioned? That was something she felt comfortable. And it as this thing Lando was using to get himself off when he was traveling alone for the past few months. So yeah, Martin hit the nail on its "head" with this one.

Lando gulped, trying to get himself back in the right headspace and not thinking of all the times Y/N screamed and moaned for him while bent over a table or laying in a silky bed.

"I fuckin' love this idea, mate. I'm gonna check with the lawyer team and see if I can go and sample this or something," Martin said, his tone indicating he was happy and done for the day.

"Yeah. This would work," Lando replied, unable to tone his voice down to his usual octave.

//

It was a surreal plane trip home to Monaco. They'd wrapped at the studio and Lando was headed directly to airport. This was proving to be unfortunate, as there was no time for him to go anywhere and take care of the problem growing in his pants. He had never listened to their voice notes in public, but he could not find any sort of self-restraint not to do so that day. Shamelessly walking around the private lounge area with a ragging boner and sex noises blasting in his headphones. He prayed for no fans showing up. At one point he was debating just beating it off in the airport bathroom. A teenager he had not been for a long time now.

And like a cruel joke, a voice memo landed in his messages from Y/N precisely at the time he as about to board his flight.

A part of him hoped it was a voice note of her jerking off. Sadly, it was not.

"Hey, my love, I hope you're all good and will make the flight. I've had such a boring day and can't wait to see you," she said a tone so sweet Lando felt almost guilty for walking around with thoughts of her on all fours, begging for his cock. It brought him back to normal, which was probably for the better. "Anyway, I'll be at home, let me know when you're coming." He smiled, loving the fact they were there for each other even in the innocent sort of way. "Aaah, what a day," she ended the voice note with a moan. A fucking tired sort of sigh. Normally, it would be a very casual thing for Lando. But did it sound like something out of their sex tapes? Of course it fucking did. "Mmmm.." And with that, the voice memo ended and Lando's boner was right back on.

//

"Hi, my love."

"Hello, sweetheart."

It was something he was proud about. Teaching her to sleep naked. Sleeping in clothes is close to committing a crime when she has a body like that. Clothes were for the outdoors anyway. It was doing something to his ego to see she fully accepted that. To his luck, he found Y/N just like he wanted - bare, snuggled up in their bed under a criminal amount of duvets, but most importantly, given his current state, still somewhat awake. She was giving his the most inviting look he'd ever seen on a human.

"Are you hitting the shower?" Y/N asked, pushing the duvet closer to her neck, as if to cover herself for some reason. Lando found that more than amusing and shook his head.

They'd exchanged few pleasantries, mundane questions while we was undressing and finally crawled into the bed with her. As a natural move, she shifted, letting him to be the big spoon. He caressed her hair before stepping in. Changed his tone from casual to bedroom. Finally.

"You and me baby, just us. How it's suppose to be."

Flirting was a second language to Lando and he was not afraid to use it.

"I see you kept the bed warm for us," he said, warmed his hands by blowing his hot breath on both of them. When he was sure that his body adapted from the chilly outdoors air to their hot flat, he started tracing lines on her body and pressed his crotch to her ass, to test her reaction, and see if he got lucky and caught her in the right mood.

He wouldn't be able to see it, due to the fact he was spooning her from behind, but her eyes shot wide open as his ragging boner pressed on her and a cheeky smile crept in. She answered by moving back to him, and arching her back. Loud, horny sighs from Lando followed.

"I see you've been a good boy, am I right?" she whispered sensually.

And fucking yes, he was a good boy. She'd often reward him when he manage to obstain from jerking off when they were suppose to see each other. If he had been hard before, they would need to come up with a new name for what he was experiencing after hearing his hard work being acknowledged.

He gulped, trying to keep his some cool in his voice. "You can guess twice," he challenged and pushed his body towards her, squeezing his dick between their bodies. She giggled and turned on her back to face him. Tried to kiss him slowly, but he was having none of that. Once the door was opened, he took the lead and kissed her with all of his pent up hunger. His hands were holding her jaw in place, as if she was going to slip away - which was the exact opposite of her plans. Soon enough she kissed back with similar urgency, roaming her hands on his chest and pulling his ever-so-curly hair.

"I need you," she whispered when he reached away to take in some air.

He grinned, happy to have some sort of level of upper hand, given how down bad he actually was.

"Have you been a good girl, sweetheart?" he asked, expecting the same answer he gave her. His cheeky fingers started exploring her upper thighs.

She waited a moment. "No, I haven't," bit her lip. This took Lando as a surprise and he opened his mouth in disbelief.

"Well, would you look at that..." he said, secretly loving this side of her. Horny little angel, getting herself off. In his mind, it was like she'd been training for him. He gripped her thigh, making her gasp.

"I think you might still find some evidence on the sheets," she whispered, and it was exactly that sound that was a turning point of Lando. He flipped over to tower her and slammed his lips towards hers. He opened her legs with his hands and started exploring her core - and it was exactly as she said it. Still wet from her on fingers, as he'd imagined.

"Well then, we'll do this on my terms. You understand?" he said in a playful tone. "What are you?"

She knew what answer he was looking for. "Bad girl," she sighed as he fingered her in a way that could not be described as gentle. Soft moans started escaping her mouth and that was the main thing Lando was longing for.

"And what am I? For keeping myself full for you?" he asked, trying to keep her on the edge with his moves.

Her eyes were now shut and her arms locked around his back, same as her legs. "Good boy," she sighed.

"Exactly. So do me a favour," he said, kissing her again, "be loud for me tonight. Make my ears ring and wake up the neighbours. Otherwise I'll make sure you don't get what a good girl gets." Both of them knew there was not a single cell in Lando willing to keep his empty promise. She was going to finish multiple times and he'd work for it the whole night if he had to.

Back arched. Lando's fingers doing the God's work. "Yes," she almost choked on her breath and let out an honest and beautiful sound.

It was already getting too much for Lando, he stroked himself few times and then slid into her wet cunt, as if it was his home.

And boy, was it better than any home he'd ever know. He warm wet, almost dripping cunt welcomed him in the sweetest of ways. Lando waited few seconds for both of them to adjust before he gripped her legs and swung them over his shoulders. It was a dance they'd practiced countless times before. She knew to clench her legs and provide support for him to be able to fully start launching into her.

He gave her one more lustfilled look before he thrusted for the first time. The thing he was specifically looking forward was the way how the breath escaped her throat in almost surprised way - as if she was not expecting this to happen. Pure pleasure overruled any thoughts he was having pretty quickly. The way her walls clenched over him was a sensation very few things could compare to. It was so easy to start moving faster and harder. He lived for the sight of her, lying down beneath him, eyes closed and finally, after few more perfectly placed movements, first moans started to escape her lips. He wanted more, tonight he needed it all. Speeding up, gripping her legs tighter. And with that, he watched as her boobs were bouncing back and forth, a sight so glorious he had to put one of his hands on it. All that she was somehow trying to hide in, started to come out. Face stuck in a scream like position, hands gripping Lando's arms and the most glorious of it all - the silent moans growing into muted screams. And once he added even more speed, those turned into unhinged screaks. He didn't even notice him own mouth stuck open. Breaths were getting heavier and heavier, drops of sweet sweat were falling on her torso and slowly Lando moved his hand over to from her boobs to the crease of her neck and squeezed just a little bit, the way he knew she liked. He didn't mind that the sound she made got a little muffled - he could feel the sound coming from her throat before it left her body.

And then finally, Lando felt almost a hot liquid hit his dick and gradually bounce over to his lower stomach as he moved even quicker than before, knowing well enough that when this happened to her, the incoming orgasm was about to be glorious. He thrusted, fully focused on her expressions and loud screams.

When her release happened seconds later, he nearly came himself. By some miracle, he managed to hold it of for just few more minutes. He kept thrusting, while he felt her body collapse momentarily, complete hard shut down. More liquid came out of her and Lando wished he could fuck and lick her at the same time.

And just like that, she was back again, panting hard and finally, eyes open once again. Her fucked out face challenging him once again. She smirked and tried as much as he could to keep up his tempo. It always took her one orgasm to bounce back and become more active. Lando wished he could go on for hours, but his dick almost begged him to allow the release. He wasn't gonna deny himself pleasure tonight.

"Say my name," she said in a loud demanding tone, stern look on her face. He wanted to chuckle, always finding it amusing how she went from almost a comatose princess to a challenging boss girl in seconds. After he made her come, of course. But Lando's mind was truly getting blurry at that point. He kept saying her name as like some sort of prayer as he carried himself to the heavenly release. It was the ultimate relief, dipping in a hot water, getting charged with electricity, tasting the sweetest drink, stepping into the hottest sunshine. Whatever kind of pleasure Lando could think of, nothing would ever mount to finally releasing it into her, especially after a long, oh so long, build up.

And with that, he fell next to her. Heave panting on both sides of the bed, before either of them spoke.

"All good? Are you ok?" he asked, just like he always did after they'd slept together. The thought of her not having a good time haunted him. He was aware that it sometimes came out more anxiously than he intended to, but who has a proper working brain after a sex session.

Y/N turned at him, blissful smile on her lips. "Oh yeah, baby. Love when you come home like this."

He smirked, getting some of the blood back to his brain. "Hmm, I also love coming home."

Their fucked out minds chuckled at the stupid joke. He gathered all the remaining strenght, got up and cleaned her up.

"Oh God, I've missed you," she complained into the no quiet room, still filled with sex air.

"You have no idea, how much I did, sweetheart."

//

It had been a good few weeks before Lando found himself once again in Martin's studio. This time Y/N was able to join him on the iconic couch. They sat, her legs relaxed over his, Lando's hand stroking her shins innocently. Physical touch boy if there ever was one.

Light banter laced the evening, few sips from Martin's signature vodka sodas and general lightness of the company were bound to end up with Martin sharing his latest relationship news. The alternative girl he met in Germany? Yeah, that was over. However, the track was definitely not.

"Ok, but like, I'd never seen you this anxious about a new track before," Y/N spoke, feeling like there was something these two guys were walking around, somewhat afraid to say hat it was.

Martin and Lando shared a look. There was not a single bone in Lando's body that was afraid of Y/N reaction to this track. He way in fact dying to know what Martin has done with it in the past few weeks. Martin was not allowed by his label to send any demos, only to show them in person. Well, he was not even allowed that, but it's not like they were there with them in the room. Martin raised his brows while looking at Lando, as if to look for a permission. Lando nodded, secretly looking forward to seeing what Y/N had to say about their newest idea.

"Well, I'm actually still working on a track we tried to finish when your boyfriend was here the last time," he said reluctantly.

"Yeah mate, I'm stoked to hear what you recorded," Lando said, trying to add some entusiasm to Martin's speech.

Martin's face formed a small frown. "Well, I'm worried, mate. Listen for yourself, it might be just me hearing this track for too many times. But, I'm afraid it does not work."

This took Lando by surprise - he was full on expecting a hot, sexy banger.

Martin did not add anything and upon Y/N's plea for finally play it and with zero protests on Lando's side, he did just that.

So they listened to the almost six minute track. The instrumentals were basically in the exact same state as when Lando was there for the last time. Intrigue filled his body as the tempo slow down came - it must have been time for the moaning to start. He could not wait to see Y/N's reaction. Was there a chance she would actually be mad and consider it tacky?

He didn't let her out of his sight, no matter how much Martin tried to catch his eye. Y/N sat there, her usual focused face on, as per any other time they'd listen to a new track.

And just like that, it took Lando only few bars of the part with the moans to understand where Martin's disinterest came from. This wasn't the right vibe. There was absolutely no comparison to the original track they'd based this on. It was a weak mockery of that whole idea. Sounded cheap, almost fake and with no atmosphere whatsoever. A face of slight disgust formed on Lando's face and he temporarily forgot he was watching Y/N for her reaction. They finally exchanged a look with Martin, both knowing this was just not working. While the girl moaning into the track had a perfect pitch, something was just not right.

Only when the moans and sighs part of the track ended he noticed the look on his girlfriends face and started actually feeling embarrassed. Will she think this as his idea and that he is a pervy simpleton? That he actually likes this?

He started his defense before she'd have any time for a reaction.

"That's not good, mate," he stated the more than obvious. Martin nodded, his expression hard to decipher. "It was not meant to sound this cheap."

"Yeah, don't know what to tell you. We recorded this with like two other producers in the room, this girl is apparently a good porn actress with a perfect pitch. But it sounds just like that. Like, I wanted to create a hot track, this is just cheap and kind of sad."

Lando gulped, almost fearing Y/N's reaction.

And boy, was she staring at him. It almost caught him of guard. Definitely silenced him. If he had to describe it, it would something along the lines of shooting arrows. Lando felt very small. But then, like by some sort of miracle, the corner of her lip turned up and a cheeky smile started to form. Martin knew more than interfere in their silent conversations and turned around to leave them be. A shot of confidence went though Lando's bloodstream and he gave Y/N a questioning look. Almost wanting to challenge her to say something. She shot her eyebrows up and tried to bite her smile away. Lando played dumb and shook his head, as if he did not understand. With that, she nodded toward his phone that was lying next to his hips. Lando's eyes went wide and his heart rate went up. Is she really suggesting this?

Out of nowhere, her look still firm on Lando - who stopped blinking a long time ago - she spoke, probably more to Martin than her boyfriend.

"I love the idea, and I think it could catch on really well. But like you said. You can't fake that if it's suppose to be good. Any girl will se right through this anyway."

Was Lando about to fall in love all over again?

"So what, am I suppose to pay someone to fuck in the studio?"

The silence that followed was a heavy, awkward, hot and hilarious one. Many looks were exchanged between the three of them before, as they say, all the pennies dropped.

"Oh my God," Martin exclaimed. Neither Lando or Y/N reacted in any verbal way, however Lando did raise his eyebrows in order to stop his smile from growing. Failing at that miserably. Suddenly, he was more than aware of Y/N legs near his crotch.

Martin shook his head, as if he became prudent out of nowhere and spun on his chair few times, most likely thinking it over. Lando was about to step in to ease the tension, but Y/N was faster.

"It would be the easiest way to test if the track works, just saying," she commented and Lando tried to stay as still as possible, almost worried that if he moves to much, he might wake up.

To potentially have his girlfriends orgasm voice blasted anonymously in clubs all around the world was doing some thing to his semi-exhibicionist persona, which he had to keep buried deep down. Things he had a lot of trouble admitting to outloud.

The conversation was continuing, no matter how spaced out and horny Lando became.

"Ok, say it works. Are you ok with this staying on the track?" Martin asked Y/N only. He knew his mate well enough to figure he'd be more than fine with it.

Y/N seemed to think about it, in a serious way, for few moments. The air felt oh-so-heavy to Lando. Please, say yes. Both of you.

"As long as it stays anonymous and nobody else, not even your label ever finds out, I say we go and give it a try," she answered and turned over to her boyfriend. He knew the look she had on her face more than well. It was the same one she'd have after agreeing to press record on their personal sex voice memos. And it was doing things to him.

It looked like Martin was coming around with the idea.

"Fuck it, ok then. I guess, I'll just press the button and give you guys some space in the recording room. But like, bare in mind I only need her, not you," he hinted over to Lando, "and for the sake of our friendship, I'd really appreciate if you kept it clean in terms of dirty talk. I don't want this to be the reason I died. Also no...mess please. Ugh."

Lando downed his drink, still unable to believe this was happening, and finally spoke again. "I'm sure there is a way to make sure we get only Y/N's voice."

Images flooded their heads - for Y/N very much wanted, to perfectly contrast Martin's reaction, who was sitting on the complete opposite of the excitement spectrum.

"Ok, let's go with it before I change my mind," Martin said and began prepping the recording room.

Lando squeezed his girlfriends hand, to make sure she was really ok with it.

"I love you," he whispered, unable to hold it in.

"Me too. I'm happy you don't think of me as slutty or perverted," she replied, hint of shame for the first in a long time creeping on her face.

"I would never....We can stop whenever, if you stop feeling it, ok? Please promise you'll let me know."

There was a look on her face he couldn't put a name on. "Thank you."

Martin coughed demonstrateively. "Lando, come over. I'll tell you what to do." Lando eyebrows shot up once again. "Not like that, with the recording, you weirdo," Martin exhaled, already regretting the decision.

//

"So, the recording is on, have a good one, I guess," were Martin's last words before Y/N was about to have a series of little deaths.

And with the click of the door, they were alone. Deep dark silence. Never before has she seen Lando stare at her this much like a hunter would at his prey. His good name was on the line. Maybe not for the whole world, but he had to show his best bud he can make his girl come. And perhaps something more than that.

The room was small, light dimmed out.

"So, what do you have in mind?" she asked softy, still not quite in the same feral mood Lando was in. He crossed over the distance between them slowly to put a finger on her mouth.

"No words, remember?" he reminded himself probably more than her. His plan was never to fuck her here. She'd soon find that out.

With ease and confidence only those who kissed each other countless of times, he locked his lips with hers. His hand in the back of her hair, pulling, not gently. Her tongue rolled over his and she bit his upper lip, to return the favor perhaps. Her head bent back and he follow the train to her collarbone with pecks. With ease, he started walking her over to the chair here the recording artist would usually sit. Today, she'd be the main act and he her muse. She was regretting not wearing a skirt that day. He saw no issue when he pulled her jeans down. He was already hard and just had to squeeze himself for few times, a mindless action. No doubt in his mind that before the night calls quits that day, he'd see his own release. She noticed his moves and tried to get in on the action, only to somewhat wake him up from his own selfishness as he stopped her hands reaching his crotch. Another head shake - hopefully, this time she'd get the hint.

Her eyes were filled with hot wanderlust and with that, she gave up on trying to take the lead. He smiled and got rid of her panties as well.

Two strong hands popped her up on the round chair with no back rest. One last kiss on the lips before he knelt down. Stomach tingled with anticipation. Lando was taking his time, slowly kissing his way up her legs. The ever so blue, green and whatever colored eyes glowing with lust. He stopped at the spot where thighs and knees bend, his tongue finally out, as if for a practice run. Only recently he found out about her secret soft spot. He watched her face relax and give in, first pleasure arriving. He was the moon and her body a shore, waiting for the waves.

Long heavy breath. Lando wanted, needed more. He progressed further and further, until the only place left to go were her folds and wet core. But before that, he didn't for get to leave few bite marks on her upper thighs. Quick catch of breath and her hands buried in his curls. Watching him as if the gods had sent him to ruin her.

And they might have. Normally, he's utter few cheeky lines before dipping his tongue deep into her, but the looks were all he could use this time.

Relaxed and come for me, baby. Drip all over this chair and make them know I can make you scream.

His tongue could as well be completely dry and it would not matter. They way how he was all over her got her wet anyway. His moves were never the same, yet they always worked like magic. He twisted, pulled in and out and all over. Slight bite at her less sensitive folds. Clit suck. And then he called upon his fingers to assist. She was barely sitting on the chair, legs fully rested on his shoulders, priorities loud and clear. As were her moans she didn't notice at first. She had to support herself with her arm, squeezing the weak leather top of the chair. Her other hand was busy with pushing Lando's face towards her. First tide started to arrive. Lando drew his head back to catch some breath - and she let him, because his fingers became the main act. He made sure to hold the tempo, knowing that would work like volume increase button. Was there a more beautiful sight than watching a woman you love hit the highs of life? Lando very much doubted. Judging by the way her face clenched, she must have forgotten the why and where. Her throat served like a gateway to pleasure sounds. And she screamed, more and even more once he sucked her clit again.

They call it little deaths because it might just be the only accurate description of what washed over her. If wasn't often he'd go down on and not fuck her shortly afterwards. Since that was out of the picture, she focused fully on his moves, knowing this was the peak.

He felt her relax after a particularly loud scream. Coming down to Earth once again. She opened her eyes and he smirked. He knew, by the way she tried to steady his breath and the slight movement of her supporting hand that she considered it "job done". She nodded and head and he shook his once again. Her puzzling look quickly replaced by a lip bite as his mouth traveled back to her core.

One more round, one could say Lando's ego was becoming the main hero of this story. The thought of somebody having to go and listen to another round of him destroying his girl with pleasure was an intoxicating one.

//

Martin's track was an instant hit and minor shock to the public. Never before has he released something so explicit. Y/N's screams were out for the whole world to listen and it did a wonder to their sex life. It was something else to fuck and blast your own love soundtrack on.

There were two main versions release, one less explicit, for the DJ's to play around the radio during the day and for club goers to party to during the night.

Lando stopped counting how many times it happened that in the middle of the day he'd hear this song around the paddock radio. Whenever he did, he would send Y/N a photo with a cheeky wink, and she'd do the same when she had the luck of listening to her own voice in public like that. A nice, somewhat innocent tradition for them only to understand.

//

Keep you friends close and rivals closer. That's how Lando ended up at one of the many celebrations of Max Verstappen's title celebrations. Little did he mind, secretly loving the fact the pressure was off him for a moment. Expensive alcohol flowing freely also helped.

He found himself sitting in a VIP booth across from Max, by some stroke of luck, alone. And of course, that was the first time he slipped up. Somehow he managed to avoid a situation when someone who knew him well was around when Martin's monaco kiss came up.

"the recording is on, have a good one, I guess"

Martin decided to keep his own line in the intro, only later admitting he'd re-recorded it out of his own insecurity. Which Lando found very amusing, given the fact him and Y/N only needed one take to get it right perfectly.

His stomach dropped a bit when he heard the now iconic opening line. Shifted a bit to regain some composure. Sipping a drink might help to hide his slight panic and lack of any real light did not allow his blushed cheeks to go noticed.

Across from him, Max was nodding his feet to the beat of the track. The conversation grew stale a moment while, so Max's complimentary comment on Lando's friend's track must have been intended as an innocent ice-breaker.

"what do you have in mind"

Another line kept in from the recording. Y/N's real voice hidden under many layers of autotune to keep her identity anonymous. As per her wish and Lando's secret regret.

The tempo started to slow down. Anyone would remember the track by heart if they'd listened to it the same amount of times as Lando had. Words were lost on him and he did not find a response to Max's comment. Very unusual from Lando. He sipped his now empty drink, hoping more liquid had magically appeared. Max noticed something was off. And then the key jump, straight out the book Diet Pepsi took inspiration from. Followed by the peak moan, or maybe a scream, from his girl for everyone to hear. It was not supposed to be this arousing. Max tilted his head and after another few beats, his intense stare aimed at his rival/friends went wide.

Lando tried to stop his smirk. He really did.

Max's mouth went open and he stopped his breath before uttering a simply lovely, slightly astonished: "No way."

Lando averted his gaze to the crowd below in order to avoid Max, who chuckled and took a big gulp of his not-empty glass.

If the lights went on, everybody would be able to see a bright red Lando. He was never going to break his promise about keeping this a secret, so he did not comment. But he grinned at Max's nod of approval.

He excused himself as went to the bar. Searching for his girl.

Light brush on her waist made her turn, wonder in her eyes easing when she saw it was him. They were both in the same horny headspace.

He leaned in and whispered, as much as one can whisper in a club, the last few beats of their track playing. "You sound so hot, baby. I'm so down bad for you."

Tipsy, she shot him a wide smile and mouthed a silent "i love you".

[ahsokaismyqueen]

Stay Stay Stay Pairing - Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader Summary - Until you met Tyler, you'd only had shitty boyfriends who would leave at the first sign of trouble or when you started to get too attached. Tyler Owens however is there to show you that he's in it for the long run, even when he finds out you're pregnant with his child. Word Count - 4.5k Warnings - Pregnant Reader, but this is just 4k words of pure fluff based on Taylor Swift's Stay Stay Stay ngl.

You woke up feeling miserable. You had barely gotten any sleep, staying up most of the night crying, and all you could think about was how stupid the fight you and Tyler had seemed now. You glanced over at the clock on your bedside table, and shot up when you realized how late it was. Tyler might have already gone, and now you wouldn’t get the chance to say how sorry you were. The fear of that gripping your chest had you rolling out of bed and out the door. What you saw in the hallway however, had you stopping in your tracks. 

 As soon as you shut the door behind you, Tyler jolted awake from his spot on the floor, rubbing his eyes. He was still in his clothes from last night, the button up and jeans, complete with cowboy boots. “You stayed out here all night?” You asked, emotion tight in your throat. 

Tyler looked up at you, brushing his hair back from his face. “Of course I did. Didn’t know if you might need me or not after those nightmares you’ve been having.” 

“But - but I threw something-”

“Your phone.” He informed you. 

Heat rushed to your face in embarrassment. “-My phone at you.” 

“I don’t know if I’d really say ‘at me’. If so, your aim was pretty off for someone who used to play baseball.” He said, and he started to move so he could stand up. 

Before he could though, you bent down and scrambled into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him as the tears fell down your cheeks. 

He let out a surprised grunt, but put his arms around you as well. “To be honest, not the greeting I was expecting this morning.” He said in a strained voice, probably because you were squeezing him so tight. 

“I thought you left already, and I didn’t want you to leave mad at me, because if something happened to you out there. . .” You wondered if he could even understand you with the way your tears messed with your breathing, but you had to tell him. The thought of him leaving while the two of you were mad at each other made you feel sick. 

“Hey,” Tyler started running a hand through your hair, the comfort of the motion easing into you. “I wasn’t about to leave without talking to you. I told them I’d catch up.” You closed your eyes as you felt his lips against the side of your head. “And you know I can’t leave without my good luck kiss.” 

You pulled back so you could look at him when you said this. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I got so mad. I’ve just been all over the place lately, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m mad one second, the next I’m sobbing, then I can’t keep my eyes open, and the next second I feel like I’m going to die if I’m not jumping your bones-”

Tyler reached up and brushed your tears away with his thumb. “That one’s my favorite.” He said with a smirk. 

You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “I think I’m going crazy.” 

“Baby, you chase tornados in your spare time. Pretty sure by most people’s standards you are crazy,” he said, putting some hair behind your ear. 

You shook your head, and playfully smacked him in the chest. “I’m serious. I mean I know I get a little crazy around-” the thought hit you like a freight train. “Tyler, what’s today?” 

His brow furrowed, his smirk turning into a frown. “Sunday . . .”

“No! I mean what day of the month?” Were the calculations you were doing in your head right? Had the time passed that quickly? 

“It’s the 11th. Why?” 

Oh god. You gripped his face in your hands. “Ty, I’m late.” 

Tyler squinted at you. “Did you have somewhere to go . . . ?” 

You shook your head, your eyes wide with panic. “No, Tyler. I’m late.” You grabbed one of his arms and put his hand on your stomach, giving him a significant look. 

It was funny, how you could almost see the gears moving in his mind. It was like when he was trying to decide what storm to chase. You could tell the exact moments your words and actions landed. His eyes widened, and he glanced down at your stomach, then you. “You’re late . . . For that?” 

You nodded, watching his face for his reaction. It was an accident of course. The two of you tried to be careful, but one night a couple of months ago after an insane chase . . . The adrenaline got the better of both of you. While you had known you could get pregnant, you thought the chances of it happening the one time you didn’t use protection couldn’t be that high. Well, the universe might be proving you wrong. You weren’t sure how you felt about the possibility, but you were damn sure terrified of what Tyler might be thinking. 

You didn’t need to be. 

A slow grin started to spread on his face, and within seconds you found yourself hoisted over his shoulder and into the air. 

Letting out a little shriek, you grabbed a hold of his shirt. “Tyler! Put me down!” 

“Can’t! Got to go buy a pregnancy test.” He said, giving you a smack on the ass that made you squeal again. 

“We can’t! I’m not wearing pants!” 

“You don’t need pants to take a pregnancy test!” He said. 

A laugh left your lips at that, but then you smacked his back to get his attention. “Ty, what about the crew? They’re waiting on you. I can take the test, and call you-”

He put you down then, his hands holding your face and making you look at him. “If you think there is anything more important to me right now than this, you’re wrong.”  

It almost embarrassed you that you had thought for even a second any different. “I might not be, you know? I could actually be losing my mind.” 

Tyler shrugged. “Either way, there’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you.” He said, sliding his hands down to grab your own, then leaned forward to give you one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever had in your life, all gentle and tender, enough to almost bring tears back to your eyes. “Now, there’s my good luck kiss.” He said once he pulled away. 

“And what do you need good luck for, huh Owens?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. 

He smirked at you. “I’ll tell you later.” 

And he did. In about five months after he shot fireworks up in a tornado to reveal you were having a boy, just like he wanted. 

————————

“Ty! I can pick up potatoes. I’m barely showing.” You said, shaking your head at him as he dived in front of you to get the sack of potatoes before you could. 

He put them in the grocery cart, leaning over it and crossing his arms. “See, I know that, but the gentleman in me won’t let the woman carrying my son do something as lowly as pick up potatoes.” 

You rolled your eyes. It was sweet, but you knew it was also going to drive you crazy. “If you don’t let me do some things I might murder you in your sleep. I hope you know that.” 

Tyler raised his eyebrows at you, pretending to look confused. “Then who would reach all the stuff on the top shelf?” He asked, his expression morphing into a smirk as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I guess I’ll have to find another tall, handsome cowboy. Shouldn’t be too hard.” You teased, and then grabbed the cart, pushing it past him. 

He stopped you, grabbing you around the waist, holding you back against his chest and pressing a kiss against your neck. “Unfortunately, you’ll find I’m very hard to replace.” He murmured against your skin. 

You couldn’t help but laugh, elbowing him in the side. “All right cowboy, if you’re going to not let me pick anything up heavier than three pounds, go do me a favor and get the water. Lily said you guys are running low, and the weather conditions for the weekend look rough.” 

Tyler pressed another kiss against your neck, and then let you go. “Whatever you say ma’am.” 

You watched him walk away, a sight you always enjoyed in those jeans, then hurried up to get as many of your groceries as you could before Tyler came back to not let you do anything again. 

“Well, look who it is.” 

Oh god, you knew that voice. It was one you hadn’t heard in years now, and one you hoped never to hear again. You almost didn’t want to turn around so you could pretend it wasn’t there, but you knew this person wasn’t going to allow that to happen. It would hurt his ego too much. Turning around, you let out a sigh at the familiar face. “Hey, Charles.” 

Your ex was a dick. In fact almost all of your exes were dicks. Until you started dating Tyler, you hadn’t known what it was like to date someone that put you above themselves. Charles was no different. In fact, he was one of the worst, and the way he was looking at you right now made you want to throw up. Or maybe that was the morning sickness . . . 

“I’ve got to say,” he looked you up and down. “You’re looking good.” 

Nope, it wasn't morning sickness. “Thanks.” You replied, moving your cart so you could go around him. Hopefully you could make a quick escape and pretend this whole interaction had never happened. “It was good seeing you.” Lies. 

He grabbed the cart, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait a second. Don’t you think we should catch up some? I mean it’s been-”

“Five years.” You answered, your hands squeezing the handle of the cart. 

He smirked. “You kept track?” 

You wanted to smack that expression off his face, “to celebrate.” 

The nice facade faded upon your words. “You know, I thought maybe you’d changed over the years, but it seems like you’re still a-”

“Got the waters!” You breathed a quick little sigh of relief as Tyler came to a stop beside you, carrying not one, but two packs of water. He placed them in the cart, flipped his baseball cap around backwards, and put his hand on the small of your back. “Who’s this?” Tyler asked with his charming grin. 

You took a step closer to Tyler, not because you were scared of Charles, but because you liked the comfort of his presence. Something you never felt with the douche in front of you now. “You remember me telling you about Charles? This is him.” 

To Charles, Tyler showed no response to the name, but you felt the hand on your back press a little harder against your skin. Tyler turned to look at you, and there was a little glimmer in his eyes when he spoke. “I don’t actually. Are you sure you’ve mentioned someone named Charles before?” 

You had to bite back a smirk once you realized what he was up to. “Yeah, I think so.” You played along. 

“Hmmm, I must not have thought it was that important. Anyway, Tyler Owens.” He held out his hand to Charles, and you watched Charles’s face with delight. Not only had Tyler made him feel unimportant, something you knew from experience he couldn’t stand, but Tyler was . . . a big man. At least a foot taller than Charles, and more muscles on him than this guy could ever hope to have. You didn’t however expect the look of disbelief that crossed his face. 

“Tyler Owens? The tornado wrangler?” He asked, almost too shocked to shake his hand, but then he collected himself and reached for Tyler’s. 

“The very same.” He said. “Though I’ve got to say, I think my favorite title is her future husband.” He said, nodding his head back to you. 

Heat flushed straight to your face at the bold statement. Tyler and you hadn’t talked much about marriage. You had thought that might be the logical next step, but you also didn’t want to bring it up if it scared him away. With past boyfriends, including the one in front of you, it always had. You should’ve known by now though that Tyler was nothing like that. You leaned into him more now, smiling as his arm went around you and his hand rested on your stomach. 

“Her future-” Charles looked dumbfounded, and you also didn’t miss the wince when Tyler shook his hand probably more roughly than necessary. 

“Got to lock her down, you know? Plenty of other idiots have already let her go. I’m not going to make the same mistake.” Tyler replied, giving you a smile full of mischief. 

You placed your hand on top of the one he had on your stomach. “Ty, I’m having your baby. I don’t think you have to worry about that.” You assured him, your smile widening as he kissed your cheek. 

“You’re - you’re pregnant?” 

You’d almost forgotten Charles was there with Tyler’s sudden proclamation, but his words pulled your attention back to him. Turning to the side, you let him see the slight curve to your stomach. “Yep. Four months to go before we meet our baby boy.” 

As soon as you said the words, Tyler’s face lit up with genuine excitement like it always did. “I can’t wait.” He turned back to Charles, putting both of his arms around you protectively now. “How do you two know each other again?” Tyler asked, and once again you had to fight back a laugh. 

“It doesn’t matter.” You said, looking back up at Tyler with a soft smile. “We need to be getting out of here anyway right babe?” 

“Yes ma’am. Well, it was nice to meet you, Chuck.” Tyler said, stepping back from you so he could grab a hold of the cart with one hand, taking your hand in the other. 

You couldn’t hold your laughter back anymore at that point, entwining your fingers together as you followed him to the register, leaving Charles standing dumbfounded in your wake. 

________________

It was the thing you had been the most scared of happening. You had no one else to blame other than yourself though. You were the one who had insisted that Tyler go on the chase. It was supposed to be a large storm, and you reminded him that it was the last one he’d probably go on for a while since the season was ending, as was your pregnancy. You had faith that he would be careful, knowing that he wouldn’t risk anything that would endanger him from meeting his son. 

What you hadn’t expected however, was your water to break three weeks early. 

It was safe to say you were panicking when you called your sister to come get you, and by the time they wheeled you back to your room, you were close to a full blown meltdown. “I can’t do this without him.” You told her, holding your stomach as if that could keep him in, tears streaming down your face. “And he’s at least five hours away! What if I don’t have that long?!”

Your sister, who was more calm than you, grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze. “He will make it, I’m sure. You’ve texted him right?” 

You bit your lip, and when your sister gave you a look, you blurted. “I didn’t want to ruin his chase! I thought I’d wait to see if the doctor was even going to take me!” 

“Oh my god.” She reached into your bag and grabbed your phone. You held out your hand for it, but she was already texting away. “There, done.” 

“What did you say?” 

But she didn’t answer, instead she waited about ten seconds and said, “he said he’s on his way.” 

You nodded, watching as she put your phone back in your purse. God you hoped he was going to make it. The thought of doing this without him was terrifying. You were already scared enough that something was wrong because of how early he was. Having to have this baby without Tyler by your side, reassuring you the whole way, seemed impossible. 

A few minutes later, while you were lost in your thoughts, the door to your room opened and a nurse walked in. “Hey, honey, how’re we doing?” 

“She’s panicking.” Your sister replied for you. 

You glared at her. “My boyfriend, he’s - he’s not going to be able to get here for a few hours, do you think I have that long?” 

She gave you a sympathetic smile. “Well that’s according to him I’d say, because I speak from experience when I say babies don’t wait for no one.” She said. 

Oh god, he wasn’t going to make it. You just knew it. He wasn’t going to make it in time, and you would have to try and do this without him, and you didn’t think that you could. You needed him. You needed him so badly it added to the pain you were already in, and the worst part was that it was your fault. If you hadn’t forced him to go on that chase - 

“I’m here, I’m here!” 

To your complete and utter shock, Tyler came sliding into your room, taking his cowboy hat off and hurrying to your side. 

“Ty?” Was all you could think to say.

“Did I miss anything?” Tyler asked, taking your hand in his own and looking at your nurse. 

“Dad, I assume?” The nurse said with a smile. 

Tyler beamed at the use of the word. “About to be.” 

“In that case, you haven’t missed a thing yet. We’re about to take some vitals and get this show on the road.” She informed him. “Glad you could make it.” She said, and left your room. Your sister, sensing the two of you needed some alone time, followed close behind. 

Once they had both left, your thoughts caught up to your brain, and you squeezed Tyler’s hand. “Tyler Owens, I’ve never been more happy to see you in my entire life, but how the hell did you get here so fast?” 

He gave you an affectionate smile, and reached up to wipe away the tears you didn’t even know you’d still been crying. “Yeah, so about that chase . . . I never went.” 

“You - you what?” 

He started stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “You were less than a month away from having our son. I knew you’d blame yourself if I didn’t go, but I also knew if something happened while I was away . . . You’d blame yourself too. So I just . . . stayed at a hotel the past couple of nights.” 

You couldn’t even be mad. He knew you too well, and the relief you felt that he was here to help you was too much to be upset. “I was so scared you were going to miss it.” 

“Not for the largest tornado in the world baby.” Tyler said, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss it. “You ready to do this?” He asked as they started wheeling in the equipment. 

Not five minutes ago you were horrified. The effect of Tyler’s presence on your emotions was remarkable. With him by your side, you had no doubts that you could do this. You could have this baby. “Now that you’re here? Definitely.” 

Tyler leaned forward to give you the last kiss the two of you would have before you were parents, the smile on his lips unmistakable. 

————————

“He looks so much like you it’s like you birthed him.” You said with a tired laugh. It was god knows how many hours later, you had never been more tired in your life, and somehow you and Tyler had squeezed into your tiny hospital bed. You were leaning against his shoulder, eyes glued to the baby he held in his arms that was looking up at you both curiously. 

“Not completely. I know that nose anywhere.” He said, gently tapping your son in the nose. Then, for the first time since his son had been placed in his arms, he looked at you, the unmistakable glint of tears in his eyes. “He’s perfect.” 

You knew that you were already emotional. You were exhausted, overwhelmed and a million other things at once, but the way Tyler was looking at your son, then at you? Your whole body seemed to light up with warmth. It was love all over his face, pure, intense love, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to forget what it looked like again. You felt too choked up to speak, so you slipped your arm through his to curl your hand around his bicep, and turned your head to kiss his shoulder. 

A smile formed on your face as Tyler looked back at your son, that adoring expression not fading for a second. “This is the best day of my life so far.” 

“So far?” You said curiously. 

“Well, you haven’t agreed to marry me yet.” He replied, grinning over at you. 

Your smile widened, giving his arm a little squeeze. “Ty, you haven’t asked.” 

“I haven’t?” Tyler said, pretending to look confused. “It’s a great proposal. You’ll just have to wait and see.” 

You rolled your eyes, but the thought of Tyler proposing to you made you feel giddy. “Does it involve fireworks in a tornado?” You teased. 

He shook his head. “Nah, been there, done that. Boone would love it though.” Tyler shifted your son, who cuddled right against his chest. “By the way, the crew’s waiting outside with your sister.” 

You sat further up, wincing when you moved too quickly. “Jeez Tyler, how long have they been out there?” 

“Since they dropped me off.” He admitted. 

“You mean none of them went on the chase either?” You said in shock. 

Tyler shook his head again, “They said this was going to be better than any tornado.” 

Your throat clogged with emotion again, and you really hoped this crying at the drop of a hat wasn’t going to last long. “Go get them! They deserve to see him!” 

He reached up, brushing a tear away from your face. “Are you sure? I know how tired you are, and I can tell them to come back tomorrow.” 

“I can sleep when they’re gone. Right now I want them to see what they gave up a chase for.” You said, holding out your arms for the baby. 

Tyler leaned forward, giving you a kiss on your forehead and handing your son over as gently as if he was made of glass. You smiled as he snuggled right up to your chest, and knew that there was no better feeling in the world than this right here. When you looked up, Tyler was staring at the two of you as if he was trying to memorize this moment. “I love you.” He said finally. 

You felt like you could float at that moment, so light and loved. “We love you too.” You told him, and the softest smile formed on his face. “Go,” you told him before you started crying again. “We’re not going anywhere.” You joked. 

“You better not.” He played along, giving you a mock stern look, and then he went outside the door. 

Not ten seconds later you heard a cheer from outside your door, and you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at their enthusiasm. Of course, they were shushed by nurses, and then Tyler brought them all in. 

You smiled at them as your sister, Lily, Boone, Dex and Dani’s eyes all went straight to the baby in your arms. Lily, Dani, your sister and Dex rushed forward to get a better look and started cooing over him, the biggest smiles on their faces while Boone hung back, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe the baby was a real thing.

“We got you guys something.” Dex said, holding up some familiar looking material as Tyler got back into the bed with you. He handed him the shirts, and Tyler unfolded them, letting out a laugh before showing them to you. It was similar to the normal shirts, but instead of Tyler’s face, it was a baby with a cowboy hat. That would have been hilarious enough, but instead of saying, “not my first tornadeo” it said, “this is my first babeo.” 

“Oh my god, it’s so cheesy. I love it.” You said with a laugh yourself. 

“We also got little man . . .” Dani held up a little onesie that said, “mini wrangler” on it with their tornado logo. 

You grinned, looking down at the bundle of cuteness in your arms. “It’s perfect.” You said, turning your smile to them. “Thank you guys for bringing Ty by the way, and staying. I would have understood if you all went on the chase.” 

“Are you crazy? We weren’t going to miss this.” Lily said, giving your son a little wave. 

Your eyes went over to Boone though, still standing back a little ways. The man who had gone into tornados and helped shoot fireworks and rockets up into them was looking at the baby in your arms like it was a bomb. “Hey Boone, you want to hold him?” You asked. 

“Oh, I don’t - I wouldn’t even know how-”

But Dani was already pushing him towards you. “It’s all right Boone, you got this.” You reassured him, sitting up a little more to hand him your son. 

“Make sure you get the back of his head.” Tyler said, watching with the eyes of a hawk as you gently placed him in Boone’s arms. 

“Woah.” Boone said, as he looked down at him. 

Tyler wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and now that your arms were free, you curled into his side, resting your head on his chest and wrapping your arm around his stomach. 

“T, man! He looks just like you!” Boone said, and you smiled at the excitement in his voice. 

“Except for the nose.” Tyler said, and you found your eyes closing as Tyler pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

He was so comfortable, and you were so tired. You felt yourself starting to drift off as his thumb brushed up and down your shoulder. It was hard not to when you felt so safe and loved, surrounded by your family, your new baby and the love of your life. 

Tyler could sense it, and he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You want me to kick them out?” 

You shook your head, tightening your grip on him. “They can stay.” You murmured, nuzzling into him. “Make sure Boone doesn’t get too excited and drop our baby.” You joked. 

“Yes ma’am.” Tyler responded with a chuckle, pulling you closer. “You go ahead and rest. I'll be here when you wake up.” 

“I know.” You mumbled sleepily with a soft smile. “You always stay.”