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try wishing for it: magical girl au (scarabia x gn!reader)
inspired by @ceruleancattail's magical girl au and @yan-lorkai's yandere genie fic. note: i also imagine scarabia's mascot form to look like this. title is ripped from tohma's magical girl eudaemonics. content warnings: -yandere (if you squint, since scarabia's taking the role of kyubey in this fic. references of manipulation and general moral grayness.) -fic uses "magical girl" but means it in a gender-neutral sense (reader is referred to with they/them pronouns) word count: 2.7k words
Being a magical girl means gaining the power to do virtually anything you can dream of.
The first time you defeat a wraith, you stare in awe at your hands, breathing heavily from sheer excitement rather than exertion. With one final roar, the beast falls to the ground, before dissolving into black smoke.
“Woah, you did it! You really took it down!” Kalim barrels into you, gushing praise after praise. “See, Jamil? I told you they were going to be powerful!”
Jamil is more mindful of you, instead floating over to land on your other shoulder. “Nice job.”
“You’re a natural!” Kalim’s bouncing with joy in your palm, waving his little stubby arms. “You probably won’t even need to use your three wishes!”
Right, there was that. In the case that you were against an overwhelmingly powerful foe, you could draw on your familiars’ magic—a ‘wish,’ they called it.
“Don’t jinx them, Kalim.”
“...What happens if I asked for more wishes?”
“It doesn’t work like that.” The stitches of Jamil’s plush smile don’t change, but there’s a note of something foreboding in his words. “Though, you don’t seem like the type to squander them. Don’t worry about it too much.” Despite their cartoonish appearance, your familiars’ words and warnings carried a grave weight
Your gaze drifts to the slain wraith. All that remains is the tarnished metal collar that hung around its neck, until it too crumbles into dust.
There’s something hauntingly beautiful in that faint shimmer of gold as it gets blown away by the wind.
Being a magical girl means toting around two innocuous round plushies of your familiars to class.
With your new double life, you get two new companions following you around. It means bearing Kalim’s excited chattering as you take notes, dealing with Jamil’s snide teasing as your classmates point out your new bag charms.
What you don’t expect is to see the two of them sitting in your living room the next morning, clad in your school’s uniform.
“Good mor—oof!” Your book bag collides with Kalim’s chest and you use the momentum to drag him and Jamil by the elbow out of your house, ignoring your dad’s concerned calls with a loud “I’m heading out!”
You didn’t get the memo that being able to transform was part of their repertoire as magical familiars, but you should’ve expected this. Between Kalim’s thousand-kilowatt smile and Jamil’s calculating gaze, you very much prefer them as small round plushies.
(It’s strange that your schoolmates and teachers don’t question the two new additions to the class, but you appreciate that your cover wasn’t blown with this curveball. You suspect it might have to do with the red glow in Jamil’s eyes. You decide to question them at the end of the class day.)
“It’d be better if one of you stayed as a plushie.”
“Then that means it would be Jamil since he’s better at keeping attention off of us.”
“By that logic, they’re talking about you, Kalim.” Is it you or is that a hint of a smile on Jamil’s lips?
“Oh.” Kalim’s expression falls into a pout. “But I like attending classes with you!”
He probably wouldn’t like it as much during exams week. “I wouldn’t be able to keep a low profile if people noticed you…guys following me around.”
“Aw, I guess so…Thanks for treating us to ice cream, though!”
You offer to buy them another one, just to make their one and only day at school special. You start heading towards another freezer, there’s a special lottery on these soda popsicles.
Jamil’s attention turns toward the counter. He’d been eyeing the person at the cashier. “Wait, something seems��”
And that’s all the warning he can give before a group of wraiths crashes through the convenience store wall. Ending up in a sprawled mess of tangled limbs was not ideal. It’s settled, you definitely preferred them in their plushie forms.
Being a magical girl means getting woken up by Kalim in the middle of the night to patrol the city.
As a hand-sized plush ball, he’s already pretty strong. But under the cover of night, he can shed his disguise and drag accompany you around to see you deliver justice to evildoers.
Your drowsiness fades away as you leap from rooftop to rooftop, dispatching fledgeling wraiths hiding in narrow alleyways, stopping drunken confrontations, watching over lone pedestrians traversing through seedier parts of the city.
“There’s another one, it’s a low-ranking wraith!”
“I’ve got it!” Magic gathers around your weapon, bathing it in golden light as you swing and cleave the monster into two.
It didn’t even get a fighting chance to writhe or fight back. All it can do is dissipate into nothing.
Which is for the best.
“That was so quick!” Kalim bounds over to you as your weapon fades out of view. “You’re getting better and better at fighting!”
“Well, you did say it was a weak one…” You tug at the collar of your outfit. His praise feels like staring into the glare of the sun, straight on. “I’m probably not that much better than those other magical girls before me.”
“Still! It doesn’t make you any less amazing—Are you hurt anywhere?” Kalim starts looking you over for any injuries that he might have missed.
Too close. “Not a scratch. Come on, let’s head home.”
Though you should’ve expected things would go sideways at some point, that the night would bring untold horrors instead of passing peacefully. In a mix of your carelessness and Kalim’s overexcitement, an avian-like wraith appears and catches you both offguard, talons closing around his midsection and carrying him into the sky, each powerful beat of its wings taking him farther and farther away from you.
Adrenaline surges through you and the asphalt of the sidewalk cracks underneath your soles as you leap to the sky in pursuit. “Kalim!” Just before you can close the distance, he screams at you to get back, making you falter. A long shadow whips through the air—a prehensile tail of sorts—preventing you from approaching.
Switching tactics, you aim for its wings. Better to bring it to the ground.
(Miraculously, Kalim got the cue to turn into his plushie form to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. You manage to catch him before the both of you crash. Though, Kalim’s awed gushing was probably going to give you a sunburn.)
Being a magical girl means Jamil takes your healthcare into his own hands, sometimes.
“It’s the sleep deprivation.”
“No, it’s not.” A coughing fit strikes you at that moment, betraying the extent of your sickness.
“It’s because you’re overexerting yourself with your ‘nightly escapades.’”
“Fine—so what if I am? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? To protect helpless people day and night?”
“Obviously, not at the cost of your own wellbeing!”
You didn’t think you would ever end up in this kind of situation, being yelled at by a floating plush ball while confined to your bed of messy blankets and used tissues.
The angry heat in your face is making your headache worse, makes you see gray for a moment before you could fire back.
“...I’m sorry,” you spit without an ounce of penance.
Jamil sighs. “Well. There’s no use in pressing the matter any further.” Just before he disappears, he tells you to get some rest.
Easier said than done.
The minutes inch by agonizingly slow. Your room is so silent, magnifying the buzz of your own thoughts. Up until this point, your life became a whirlwind of academics, extracurriculars, and fighting evil monsters. But at this moment of standstill, you can’t help but come to the realization that he was right. With your rashness, you basically incapacitated yourself. Sure, your familiars were also capable magic users. Sure, they could hold off wraiths from doing any major damage, but the thought that this entire situation could have been avoided, that this was entirely your fault—
A tear slips down your cheek, then more and more, until you’re quietly sobbing, frustrated, into your palms.
The mattress of your bed dips with the added weight of another person. “Mom—”
Jamil shushes you. “Drink this first.” You hear the rustle of plastic—did he go to the pharmacy?—and feel him press two tablets into your hand. As you swallow them, he hands you a glass of water. His other hand rests against your sweat-covered back, thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin.
(It is a stark contrast to his rough words from earlier.)
“I thought you…” They probably had other magical fighters to watch over, didn’t they?
It’s probably the fever messing with your senses, but there’s an uncharacteristic softness in Jamil’s voice. “Shh. No more of that, now.”
“...then why?” Were you really the only one?
“Just focus on getting better.”
“But—”
“Your mom’s making soup for dinner, she will come to check on you in an hour. I’ll stay with you until then. Rest.”
His words are not enough to placate your worries fully, but there’s a soft glow of red in his irises that makes you acquiesce and close your eyes, all while clutching onto Jamil’s wrist.
Being a magical girl means thinking up new ways to explain your many conversations “to yourself.”
Your parents are easy, it’s just the angst of youth. But your siblings are a little more difficult to convince. In addition to your moments of listlessness, they can hear your frantic back and forth pacing and the thump of you throwing your plushies against the paper-thin walls of your room. It can only mean one thing—
“Get out! I’m not having romance issues!” You slam the door behind your sibling’s cackles.
Your familiars remain still, seated on your bed until the sound of footsteps is sufficiently out of earshot.
“Are you really seeing someone?” Kalim pipes up.
“No!” You bury your face into your hands. “I—How would I have the time for that?”
“Besides,” Jamil chimes in, “we’re the only ones who’ve been accompanying them. Unless—”
Your body moves of its own accord, snatching Jamil with both hands and giving him a threatening squeeze, an unspoken ‘don’t you dare finish that sentence’ left hanging in mid-air.
When he stays quiet, your death grip lightens up. Just a little bit. A heavy exhale leaves your frame. “Look, for all that we’ve gone through—”
(A part of you is hesitant to admit it but, having gained them as new companions made your journey as a magical girl feel less daunting. You felt safe knowing that you could rely on them to watch your back, in spite of the close calls you’ve had.
As for whether or not you’d started looking at them differently, well, you’d need more time to think on it. There. End of conversation.)
“I guess… I’m glad I met you. The both of you,” you finished lamely.
The silence that followed was deafening. For once, you’d wished their plushie forms could emote more instead of giving you that placid smile.
With a pop! and shower of golden sparks, Kalim’s arms close around you in a tight hug. A bright grin splitting his cheeks. “I’m happy we’re friends too!”
“Stop squeezing me!” Jamil grits out.
Being a magical girl means double checking your word choice, especially for any quips and retorts.
The first time you transformed, you commented offhandedly about your footwear and Jamil made a little adjustment to your attire.
With a snap of his fingers, a golden bangle clasps around your ankle. Lightweight, no doubt it would look beautiful when the light hits it at the right angle, but—
A frown pulls at your lips.
“Would you like another one? Just for some…symmetry,” Jamil suggests.
You decide better against responding to that.
“Think of it as a gift from me and Kalim.”
Was this something they bestowed to every magical fighter they took under their wing? “...Some gift this is.”
“Relax, you still have three wishes left. I won’t trick you into wasting them.”
Well, that diminished most of your initial doubt. “How can I be sure of that?” you question.
Jamil’s head tilts to the side, appraising you with an eerily-observant gaze. “All you have to do is ask. Anything that your heart desires, anything your mind can conceive.”
You don’t like how his eyes are trained on you, making you feel small. You pick at an imaginary speck of dirt on your top, straighten out the already-impeccable fabric.
A thick silence falls over the both of you.
“...Will you—will you both ask me if I’m sure, before granting my wish?” It’s such a stupid thing to worry about, to fuss over the intricacies of your arrangement as Magical Girl and Familiar.
“Of course.” Jamil gives you a smile. “Shall we head to where Kalim is?”
“Yeah.” Your weapon appears in your hand with a flash of gold. “Let’s destroy that wraith’s nest.”
(More than desires you want fulfilled, there are anxieties you want quelled, fears you want silenced. Miracles to the myriad of unfortunate catastrophes that plagued your home—the flawed world that you lived in. So what if you contained untold power at your fingertips? You were only one person tasked with the protection of hundreds. At the peak of your distress—in the midst of sirens and flashing lights—you call for Jamil and utter your first wish through choked sobs.)
Being a magical girl means not relying on your powers, sometimes.
The trapped kitten gives another pitiful wail, thrashing against your grip as you clamber down the tree. In holding onto it tightly, you earn a set of angry-red scratch marks along the backs of your hands before reaching solid ground. The kitten bounds away with a final hiss.
“Why didn’t you transform?” Kalim asks.
You shrug, running a finger over one of the scratches. “I guess it’s ’cause I didn’t wanna mess up the outfit.”
“What do you mean?”
Bashful, your gaze ducks to your shoes, worn from years of use but sturdily hanging on. “It’s just, lately, the wraiths have been getting more and more powerful. And I…” Feel weak? Pressured? Alright, maybe you were still hung up over leaving a little crater at a major intersection, but it was either that or letting the ursine wraith lay waste to the nearby shopping center. There wasn’t any time to dwell on those shortcomings.
(But your mind liked to circle back to it. Was there any more you could do? Why couldn’t you do more?)
They warned you about this, that at some point, you would end up facing more destructive wraiths. That you would have to choose among innocents.
He takes your injured hands. “You can always make a wish.” Kalim’s healing magic washes over you, cool and gentle, like a stream of water. You watch the scratches slowly close up until they become nothing more than a set of faint white lines. “That’s what me and Jamil are for.”
“That’s true…”
“Anything you want.” Kalim repeats. “I’ll make it happen.”
It’s those simple words— and the sight of him cradling your hands in his palms—that grant you the courage to speak your next words, your second wish.
Being a magical girl means weighing your soul against the lives of people, friends and strangers alike.
“Come on, you have to get up.” Tears are streaming down Kalim’s cheeks, his hands hover by your prone and bloodied form, unsure of which wounds to heal.
Wearily, you gaze cranes upwards as if every bit of movement caused pain throughout your body.
Jamil has witnessed this scenario a thousand times. He keeps a stoic face. “Are you just going to let them destroy everything?”
“...I can’t let them…”
“You’re hurting yourself! Jamil, you have to do something!”
“It’s not my choice to make.”
When in the face of an unstoppable threat—a horde of chimeran wraiths that will lay waste to your home, will you make that final third wish and trust in them?
Jamil knows how you’ll answer. Rather than using them as quick and easy schemes, your first two wishes were—in some way—made for the good of others around you. For someone who won’t even know or care about that small bit of kindness. At the core of every human is a desperate self-preservation instinct that pushes them to make a final wish. And like clockwork, you will follow like the rest of the magical girls that they created. It’s a strategy that has benefited him and Kalim. And he has been fervently waiting for this moment, for a powerful one like you to—
“I’m...not giving up…!”
Or not?
His lips curl into a smile. “Then give them hell.”
They can wait this out. Compared to their infinite lifespan, your emotional fortitude was only a drop in the ocean.
a/n: aaaa thanks @jessamine-rose for betaing this fic with ur fresh eyes. this au rlly gave me brainworms of the feral variety, i think i liked leaving most of the details ambiguous and free to interpretation, but i might come up with a separate author's note post about worldbuilding bits i couldnt fit in? eh we'll see! i hope yall enjoyed reading this! tagging some jamilnatics: @viperwhispered @twstgo @just-a-little-silly @mama-m1na @crystallizsch @sillystr1ngs (lmk if you wanna join the taglist for jamil writing in the replies)
#dellet-writings#jamil viper x reader#kalim al asim x reader#scarabia x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#twst#jamil viper#kalim al asim#gn!reader#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper
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ᰔᩚ Protection ᰔᩚ
Plot: Gianna (OC) is protected by a guy at the gym who, she’d later find out is the man of her dreams.
Warning: S/A, mature language, & hefty flirting!
28!
29!
30!
I set my pair of dumbbells back onto their rack and take a seat on the black bench that's sat in front of me to catch my breath.
Panting heavily, I take a sip from my rose gold Stanley cup and towel dry the numerous beads of sweat rolling down my forehead and chest.
Once I'm cooled off and my breathing returns to normal, I head to the treadmill to do the last 10 minutes of my workout.
The song "Lifestyle" by Rich Gang and Young Thug plays through my headphones, and I mouth the words while doing some light jogging.
About 4 minutes in, I feel a presence behind me, causing me to look back.
An older random man, at least 50 years old, is stood there just watching me.
I pause the machine and hop off, slowly taking my headphones off as well. "Hi. Is there something you needed?"
He lightly chuckles. "Not at all, sweetheart. I'm just enjoying the view."
Oh for fucks sake!
"Yeeaaah," I respond hesitantly, turning back to the treadmill. "I'm not interested, sorry."
He lightly grabs my waist, causing me to stop half-way. "Baby wait! I just wanna ta-"
"Okay first of all," I exclaim, backing out of his grip. "Don't touch me. I don't even know you."
He crosses his arms over his chest and swallows hard. "Well that seems unfai-"
"And secondly," I continue, cutting him off. "I told you I'm not interested. You're making me very uncomfortable. So please, respectfully, walk away from me."
"I don't think I will," he instigates, proceeding to walk even closer to me. "You know exactly what you're doing in these tight little shorts, baby."
He starts inching his hand closer and closer to my ass until another person clears their throat, making him stop in his tracks and turn around.
I look behind him, where the sound came from, and see a much younger looking and, not for nothing, but super attractive guy.
My eyes automatically scan his body, which is filled with what looks like cultural tattoos and sweat that makes his gorgeous caramel-colored skin glisten under the ceiling lights.
"I believe the lady asked to be left alone?" he clarifies, his hands in his pockets.
The man throws his hands up innocently. "I wasn't trying anything man, I swear."
"I see," the attractive guy says, nodding and smoothing out his freshly-trimmed beard. "Then why are you still here, uce?"
Uce? What does that mean?
"Because uce," the man replies, mocking him. "I'm a guy that likes conversation. And I saw a pretty woman so I walked over. What does this have to do with you anyway?"
The attractive guy's nostrils flare in reaction to being mimicked. "It has everything to do with me when I'm witnessing a lame ass dude come up to a female, making her uncomfortable in a place where she should feel safe. Have some shame bruh."
With every word he inches closer and closer to the man, even pointing his finger at him.
The man suddenly turns speechless, and places his hands in his pockets.
"That's exactly what the fuck I thought," the attractive guy continues. "So I suggest you get outta here before things get real ugly."
The man then rolls his eyes, scans my body one more time, and walks away.
The attractive guy watches him leave and comes walking over to me. "Hey. You alright?"
I blink numerous times out of shock. "Y-yeah I'm good. Thank you so much for that."
He gives me a warm smile. "Anytime. It infuriates me seeing dudes disrespecting women that way. I'm glad I saw it before he could do anything else to you."
I return the smile. "Well, thank you again. I appreciate it. More than you know."
"You're very welcome..." his voice trails off, and he tilts his head at me.
"Oh!" I reply, holding out my hand. "I'm Gianna. It's nice to meet you."
He flashes me another gorgeous smile and shakes it. "You too, and that's a real pretty name. I'm Josh."
"Thank you," I reply, lightly blushing, and stick my hands in my pockets once we end the handshake.
He stops for a minute and takes a deep breath before speaking up again. "Say Gianna, I know we met in a kinda unfortunate way, and the timing of all this may be off. But would you like to hang out sometime?"
His gorgeous ass? Wants to hang out with me?
I give him a soft smile, shrugging. "Sure, why not?"
He nods, rubbing his hands together. "Cool, cool. How about tonight? I'll text you my address and we can kick it? Have dinner or something?"
I nod, pull out my phone, open my contact list, and hand it to him. "Sure, that sounds nice."
He enters his number and hands it back to me. "Perfect. I'll see you tonight."
I smile, nodding. "See you then."
He gives me one last smile before walking off, allowing me to finish my set and head home.
—————————————————————————————————
It's now 5pm and I just got out of the shower.
Josh and I are meeting at his place at 5:45 so I gave myself some extra time to get ready and mentally prepare.
He texted me to dress comfy, so I decide to go with a cotton white sweater and pants set, some beige slides, my belly piercing, some silver jewelry, and my LV purse.
I straighten my hair and spray some yummy smelling perfume before heading out.
—————————————————————————————————
You've got this Gi.
Just be yourself and he'll love you.
I take a deep breath before leaving my car and heading up Josh's walkway and to the front door.
Seconds after I ring his doorbell, I hear dogs barking and then shuffling towards the door.
Once it opens, I practically drool at the sight I'm brought with.
He's dressed in a black muscle tee, grey sweatpants with his print visible, Nike socks, hoop earrings in, and a nice gold chain around his muscular neck.
"Hey again," he coos, standing against the door.
I give him a soft smile. "H-Hi. You look nice."
He chuckles. "Thanks, love. You do too. Come on inside."
I do as he says and I'm greeted with three adorable french bulldogs. "Your dogs are adorable."
He closes the door behind me and smiles when he sees me petting them. "Thank you."
He introduces me to Pongo, Mumble, and Jax.
As he's making dinner, I chill on the couch with them.
"They took a liking to you quick," he exclaims, watching us with his arms folded leaning against the wall. "Normally it takes them a while to get used to new people."
I look up at him and smile. "I have a pup of my own. Maybe they can smell her."
He chuckles and sits with us, his arm draped over the top of the couch behind me.
"So," I begin, rubbing Pongo's belly and turning to Josh. "What's on the menu for tonight?"
He smiles, looking back at the stove. "Garlic butter shrimp pasta with some oven roasted veggies on the side."
My stomach growls at the sound of it and faint smells coming from the kitchen. "That sounds amazing. I can't wait."
He smiles and we continue to play with the dogs until dinner is ready.
"Josh holy shit," I say, covering my mouth as I chew a piece of shrimp. "This is amazing!"
He smiles proudly, taking a sip from his wine glass. "I'm so glad you like it. I've been working on the recipe for a while."
"Feels like it's perfected now," I reply, setting my fork down and picking up my wine glass.
He chuckles and we spend the rest of dinner getting to know each other.
From dinner I found out that:
- he's full blown Samoan
- the term "uce" means brother / bro
- he was born in San Francisco, raised in Pensacola, and moved to Atlanta a few years ago
- he has 2 sons named Jeyce and Jaciyah
- he has 6 siblings including a twin brother named Jonathan
"So," he begins. "If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?"
I take a sip of wine before answering. "Well, I've been into wrestling for a little bit now. I got signed to NXT a couple weeks ago."
A gorgeous smile appears on his face. "That's awesome Gi! Congrats!"
I giggle. "Thank you! And you said you're already in WWE, right?"
"Yup," he replies, nodding. "I debuted with my brother back in 2010."
I smile, tilting my head. "That's awesome that you guys have been in it together the whole time."
He smiles, folding his arms and leaning on the island. "Yeah it's been one hell of a ride. But I'm grateful for him."
We talk more throughout the night and it's honestly such a good time.
It sounds weird, but I feel safe with him.
Despite me meeting him less than 12 hours ago.
—————————————————————————————————
It's now 9pm, almost 2 hours since we finished dinner, and we're sat in the backyard near his fire pit.
"Nice out tonight, huh?" he asks, looking up at the sky, which is filled with stars and a crescent moon.
I nod, smiling, just watching the fire. "It really is."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him look down at me and kinda just watch me for a while.
After a few moments, I grow the confidence to look back, which causes a shy smile to appear on both of our faces.
"You okay?" I ask, placing my hand on his thigh softly.
"All good," he replies. "You really are gorgeous by the way."
My cheeks turn red hot and I look down shyly, picking the blanket that he brought out for us up to my chin. "Thank you, Josh."
He chuckles and scoots in closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
I get goosebumps at the feeling of his warm and soft hand on my skin.
"Don't get all shy now love," he teases. "You were just touching my thigh a second ago."
I playfully roll my eyes, giggling. "It's not my fault you're fine as hell, sir."
He raises his eyebrows as if he's shocked. "Fine as hell, huh?"
I nod confidently, trying to swallow every last bit of nervousness. "You know you are."
He pretends to have long hair and flicks it off his shoulders.
We share a laugh and he cups my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
"You have a real nice smile too," he continues, cupping my face and stroking my cheek with his thumb.
I try to put my head down shyly again, but he lifts my chin before I can, allowing us to lock eyes.
We both slowly lean in and, soon enough, our lips are connected in the sweetest and most romantic kiss I've ever experienced.
With every stroke, our lips move in sync and his hands wander further and further along my sides.
Eventually, we pull away slowly and I bite my bottom lip softly.
"You're a good kisser," I say, just above a whisper, my hands still playing with his dreamy curls.
He chuckles and takes a strand of hair away from my face. "So are you, mama. I could kiss those lips forever."
"What's stopping you?" I tease, brushing my nose against his.
He smirks and connects our lips again, this time far more passionately.
The kiss lasts about 5 minutes - tongue included and everything - and not gonna lie, I was a little bummed when it finally ended.
"This is gonna sound a little upfront and please let me know if you think it's too soon," he begins, stroking my side. "But...I haven't felt this way since I first started dating my ex wife so it must be true."
I tilt my head, rubbing soft circles his back. "What's that?"
He smiles and stares directly into my eyes. "I think I'm in love with you, baby."
I bite my bottom lip gently and take a deep breath before finally speaking up to respond. "I'm in love with you too."
He raises an eyebrow. "Really? You are?"
I nod, smiling. "I think so. And I’m willing to find out for sure.”
He lets out a sigh of relief and wraps me into a warm hug, and I immediately hug back.
"I was so nervous that you'd whack me across the face or something," he confesses once we pull away, making me giggle.
"Now why would I look to do damage to a face as handsome as yours?" I tease, playing with his beard.
He chuckles and pulls me in for another kiss.
Our third of the night.
And hopefully the third of many more to come.
After a little while more of hanging out and enjoying each other's company, it gets pitch black outside.
"I should probably start heading home," I exclaim, rubbing the bicep of his arm that's wrapped around my waist.
He sighs. "You sure you can't stay?"
I lay my head on his shoulder and kiss his jaw. "I'd love to, but not tonight."
He kisses my temple and gets up, holding out his hand. "I understand, baby. Come on, I'll walk you out."
I smile and take it, getting up.
I crouch down to his pups and say goodbye with tummy rubs and lots of kisses. "I'll see you guys soon."
They respond with barks and licks to my face.
Josh smiles, watching us before I stand back up and take his hand once more.
We head out to my car, share a couple more kisses, a little more small talk, and I head off.
—————————————————————————————————
I park in my driveway and automatically take notice to a bouquet of pink roses sitting at my front door.
Once I make it to them, I smile, reading the note attached:
Thank you for the best night I've had in a while. I'm so happy we met earlier today, even though it feels like I've known you forever. I hope you enjoy these and I'll see you soon. ❤️
- Love, Josh
I place the note in my pocket and pick up the bouquet, smelling the flowers.
I head inside, set my stuff down, and immediately text him.
Gianna ❤️: You're adorable! 🥹
Josh 🩵: You like them baby?
Gianna ❤️: I love them. They're beautiful. Thank you. 🤍
Josh 🩵: Just like you. You're welcome mama. ❤️
You loved "Just like you. You're welcome mama. ❤️"
It hasn't even been a full 24 hours, and I already love him more than anything.
Liked by uceyjucey, wwenxt, cmpunk, trickwilliams_wwe, and 154.6k others
giannamacri happy 👼🏽🤍
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uceyjucey Gorgeous ma 🩵
cmpunk Miss you ❤️
wwenxt We love a happy girl! 🥰
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#fanfic#fanfiction#wwe#wrestling#wwe imagine#wrestler#wwe imagines#wwe smackdown#wwe raw#jey uso#jey uso fanfiction#jey uso fluff#jey uso imagine#jey uso gif#yeet#the bloodline#the usos
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-Thank you to everyone who is still here liking, commenting and reblogging my content, even though I'm not posting much “fandom stuff” anymore, you're still here! And I really appreciate that.. (and that makes me so happy, that as I showed in the “comic”, it moves me, so- thank you, really!!) :]💛
Also- a tip: there are also many other blogs that don't post fandom stuff, but when they do, they get more likes and reblogs than the original/other content.. So also give love to those people who have your original content, reblog, like, comment, because that's what they need! Recognition for your original content! And I know you won't regret it, and it won't hurt you to do what I said! In fact, you will be doing good and giving such love that many wanted and deserve.
A big kiss/p and a hug! Even for those who only like it when I post fandom stuff, I still love you so much, and I won't stop making this type of content, ok? I just want to give more voice to what I have to give as original, because that's what makes me happy and well ^^
-Melissa, Designer.
#ok- I don't even know where to start/say more qioqbsksb#but I wanted to thank you again for everything you've been doing for me. it's really nice of you to still be here with me.#even though I'm not posting something that you “love with passion”. you're still here. and that's really cool!#and I know I've said this a thousand times. but always know that I love you very much and that you are very special!#I'm very happy to wake up tomorrow. look at my notifications and there it is: always a comment or reblog.#and I wanted to pass on this feeling of happiness to others too.#I want them to feel loved too and to have people who also appreciate their work!#so please. it's not too much to ask. give love and affection to these blogs that have/make original content.#make sure they also have recognition. more desire to create content and keep the blog alive!#and yeah.. a big hug and I hope you have a wonderful day/night💛#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#mel designer#melissa designer#my oc character#comicart#comic#kinda?#thanks you guys#💛
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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I know you said you don’t love writing thenamesh as actual biological parents (totally respect that and agree, I especially agree that Thena probably wouldn’t be the most willing mother (although I live and die for TMTL AU)) ANYWAY! would you possibly be interesting in writing something where Thenamesh accidentally stumble into parenthood without meaning to?? Maybe a little orphan child in ancient times won’t leave them alone and they end up raising them? (probably begrudgingly on Thena’s part to begin with but she’s a secret softie especially when Gil is smitten and we all know it). No worries if you don’t wanna write something like that, just something I was thinking about!
Thena sighed, "I know you're there."
She didn't receive a reply, and she knew she wouldn't. She stood from where she had been - entirely against her wishes but at Ajak's behest - reviewing some of the senate's requests. The various war orders and border reports were draining her.
She stepped down towards the door of the room, the skirts of her white toga trailing behind her. She spoke again, "orphan."
He responded to more than that, of course. Sersi thought it was cruel of her to address a child that way, but he responded to it. A small head of blonde peeked out from behind one of the larger vases.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him with an expectant tone. She raised her chin to further look down upon the boy, "you know better than to enter the temple of Athena without permission."
Usually, she was loath to bring up the title of Athena in any way. But if she need be stuck with it, she could make use of it.
The boy shuffled out, his hands clasped in front of the brown burlap of his tunic. "I was looking for Gilgamesh."
The boy was positively enchanted by her Champion. Plenty were, of course, but this boy idolised Gilgamesh and the very ground upon which he walked. And Gil was equally charmed by the small child. She thought he entertained his obsession entirely too much.
But the boy enjoyed trailing behind Gilgamesh when he was walking between the forge and the acropolis, or watching him train fighters in the arenas, or even when he was in the orchards gathering fruit.
"Why do you think he is here?" Thena fixed her eyes on the boy. Most grown men would be sensible enough to cower, but the child stepped even closer to her.
He glanced behind him a few times.
Thena let out another breath. She was not a caretaker, she had no business with the boy steps away from clinging to her. But she unfolded her arms and knelt down to see him better. Children's heads were so small. "Speak."
"The guards," the child twisted his lips. "They tell me not to bother the gods."
They also were no gods of old, at least not how Athens imagined them to be. But Thena had no qualms letting them think that if it meant them keeping their distance, either.
"And if they are correct to tell you these things?" she raised her eyebrows. But the boy shuffled even closer to her. She sighed, "what did you do?"
This child was no angel, just like they were no gods. He liked getting into trouble, challenging those twice his size, proclaiming that he would be a fierce warrior someday. And sometimes that 'challenge' was him running up to someone and whacking them with his only possession: a toy sword, fashioned from wood (clumsily, by his own hand).
"They were being cruel," he spoke in defense of himself. His hands left his tunic to clench into tiny little righteous fists. "They were laughing at old man Socrates! One even threw his apple at him!"
Thena felt her hackles raise. She had no business policing humans; they were of no concern to her. But what did bother her was senseless cruelty to those more vulnerable than the strong. "And you decided to do something about this."
The boy's small shoulders fell again, though. "I told them I challenged them to a duel."
Thena tilted her head. His tunic was still fastened above his trousers with a rope, but there was no toy sword. "Where is-"
He sniffled, trying not to let his tears fall, "they took it and broke it in half."
That was why he had run to her. Well, he had been seeking Gilgamesh's comfort, foremost. But he had also known that if the authorities of Athens were the ones committing an injustice, only the gods would correct them.
Thena frowned at the child's tears dropping onto the stone floor. He wasn't her child; he was no one's. He was, like many others, a result of the many wars Athens had waged before, and were attempting to continue waging. It was exactly that which she was opposing, despite her title as their figurehead for war.
Footsteps approached, heavily and loudly. The boy nearly leapt in fear and scurried to hide himself behind her, even tugging at her dress like a tapestry to hide his feet.
She glanced somewhat over her shoulder in the direction of the little head of blonde hair, getting tears and snot all over her pure white robes.
"Goddess Athena!" the guards greeted her before all else. Their heavy armour and leather skirts made sound with every breath they took. "Forgive our intrusion."
She said nothing.
"We were pursuing a street urchin, and we fear he may have run in here." The captain of their group stepped forward, the adornment on his helmet distinguishing him from the others. "We wish not to disturb you. But we cannot let a stray mutt wander into the hall of gods."
Thena looked at each of them. She owed them no words, and they had no right to ask them. Her lips twitched. "You have a splinter."
The guard seemed embarrassed, rubbing at his arm. "Forgive me, O-Warrior. I was struck with a splintering old board."
A child's toy, now no doubt sitting broken in the streets. Thena looked at the others. "Which of you ate the apple?"
They looked between themselves, confused. "My Lady?"
"One of you was eating an apple," she continued, raising her empty palm. They knew what that meant, stepping back. "And threw it at a harmless old philosopher."
Their faces went pale. It brought some joy to her, but she kept her face even. Their fear was the best part of her day. Rather than deny the wisdom of the Goddess of War, they knelt. "We beg your forgiveness, great Athena."
She drew back, her blade in her hand in a second. She took a harmless swipe over their heads, although the tops of their helmets fell unceremoniously to her floor like feathers from a startled bird.
The men trembled.
Satisfied that her message was received, she retracted her powers like a cat closing its paws. "Be gone from my sight."
The men obeyed, scurrying away, abandoning the remains of their rank, leaving them to explain what had happened to their uniform. If she ever did see them again, she would not be so kind as to let them go with their dignity.
"They will not bother you again," she said more quietly. The boy was strong; he had stopped trembling. And he had, at the very least, the wisdom to let her face his multiple foes.
He sniffled one last time before stepping away from her protection. "They always do, eventually."
Then next time, she would have them begging her for their lives. She kept her eyes looking out the door as she patted the boy's head. She wouldn't have been able to read the expression on his face regardless. "Gilgamesh should be done in the forge by now. He may even take you to the great hall. I believe they are making the baklava today."
The child's eyes lit at the promise of sweets. "Can I have some?"
She did her best not to smile, lest she encourage his youthful impertinence. But she may not have been entirely capable of suppressing it. "Tell them Athena herself demands it."
The boy didn't even look twice at her, running towards the door and nearly slipping in his old, worn sandals.
"Heracles," she called after him. He turned at the sound of his name. "Return with Gilgamesh. We will show you how to strike someone properly."
The boy beamed. His cheeks were ruddy and his teeth were small and uneven, and yet they fit his cherubic face. "Yes, Thena!"
He had heard Gil address her casually too often. If he called her that, what if others thought it acceptable? But she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the boy. It was far too difficult to hold a grudge against something so sweet and innocent.
Technically, the senate decrees still needed seeing to. But she had more important things to think about. And before young Heracles returned with Gilgamesh in hand, she had some whittling to do. She wasn't Phastos, or Sersi, by any means, but even she could carve a sword out of some spare wood.
#Thenamesh Heracles AU#thank you so much for the ask!#I appreciate your thoughts and I do think this is a very sweet idea#I thought of the story of Hercules#I know he's a demigod and raised by humans#but what if the other way around??#anyway Thena secretly adores this kid but hates the idea of being called out on it#Gil knows though#he's been a great father figure to young Heracles#sneaking him fresh fruits and teaching him how to punch so he won't hurt his itty bitty human hand#and he knows Heracles loves Thena#because even though she's scary he runs to her all the time#he thinks she's funny and cool and even though she calls him Orphan she's also nice to him#his own words#they return and she presents Heracles with his new sword which he treasures forever and ever#they have a little family bonding time learning to sword fight#Gil thinks it's so cute watching Thena teach this young boy how to stab properly#if they had cameras he would be such an ipad dad#Sersi and Phastos are like what the hell is wrong with you two?#but Heracles is like this is my family we crave violence#Thena: I am not your mother#also Thena: don't run in the streets there are horses and carts!#Thena: I don't care about this human child#also Thena: have you eaten it's getting dark finish your vegetables you just ate no you can't go swimming#history will remember the feats of Hercules the demigod#but Thena and Gil will remember Heracles the feral little child who liked hitting people with a stick
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Sometimes I think about how long some of you all have been following me and I'm like wow, ya'll really like watching this clown.
#i know so many of ya'll by icon especially since I'm a visiual learner#I'm honestly very lucky to have attracted so many nice and cool and interesting as hell folks#i don't wanna sound like cliché or anything just like#even if I can't respond every the time know that I do really appreciate you all taking the time to be kind to me and show me things#and ask me stuff like#tumblrs always been my safe spece online#especially since this blog was made cause I had to avoid a stalker#and it's grown into this place where like#i love hearing what you guy have to say and show me things#I live alone and work a lot (and have been on tumblr more due to a lot of irl drama I can't get into yet)#and if any of ya'll are like gone for a while I will be like 'I hope ___ is doing ok' cause I do notice ;-;#so many of ya'll have been just so willing to be kind to me or let me vent to you privately or educate me about stuff#led me in the right direction and offer help#like the kindness goes both ways and I think that's really special#i might remove this later cause I get shy sharing but ahhhhhh#thank you all so so so much#it's been a rough as week#and a rough few years#so I'm just really thankful to you all ;;;;;;
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hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.
if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!
awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.
idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛
ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!
#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time#why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk#scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit#1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭#like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!!#this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅#2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom#but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines#a non-presence#i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions#i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself#occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off#that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅#but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by!#3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭#let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!!#4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!!#anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!!#but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf#can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅#5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags#could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i#please put me right in the bin#anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️
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Is Ivory not scared of Mammon’s and Lucifer’s size??? Personally, they’re very attractive but their lengths are intimidating. I don’t like Leviathan, but he is much more manageable in that regard. I would never tell him that though, he would be insufferable.
She can take it (*^ω^*)
In all fairness as a serious response I have an enjoyment of size kink and depictions of very unrealistic sex. Despite being ace I’ve always gravitated more towards sexualized art and nsfw art because I think it’s fun and rather punk, and I love it. It’s very rebellious and I appreciate that it can be seductive and also empowering to some while also just being a good time :)
Of course there’s way more nuance to the discussion of “why” exaggerated stuff in smut is attractive and appealing but I honestly don’t know much on like,,, a professional academic level of human psychology- also AFAB psychology on why that shit just hits nice. I’ve been reading a lot of Finley Fenn’s Orcsworn series and that features size kink and cumflation among many other kinks depending on the book and it’s just my personal cup of tea.
And cervix stretching is a thing some people do,, it fascinates me what the human body can be capable of
But ah yeah no I make jokes sometimes with my close friends that Ivory’s cervix is where her bellybutton is at :3 so don’t worry she feels no pain.
Sorry for being all rambley and long winded it’s just a very interesting thing that sent my brain on a bit of a track,, as I do find it a bit difficult to like,, share myself personally out there in writing and on my blog despite wanting to be more open. I’m just very very shy despite,, drawing smut and weird shit
#asks#aaahhhh I feel like I wrote too much I’m sorry;;;#I find it so difficult to be casual and chill but I do wanna try#I appreciate you sending an ask Anon ^w^ I hope you have a good day#thank you for sending an ask it’s really nice of you#it’s also sleepy hours and I’m very very tired and kinda fried#nsft
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hyperspecific agony of the day: Want to Write About The Character, do not actually have anything coherent to say. Want To Read About The Character, but keep getting sidetracked wanting to write more. There is so much in my brain and yet I feel like it’s locked in a room somewhere I cannot find or, perchance, an imaginary rock in my shoe. I should PROBABLY just go to sleep but have you considered: The Character
#also I have a working wip with The Character in it but i’m STUCK ON THAT WIP#because I am having a crisis of writing style wanting to be super poetic like this one ao3 author#but that’s just. not how i write#and forcing it will probably make me worse#god i wish studying a writing style made sense in the way studying an artstyle does#i sent them an ask about how they put together words and metaphors and they actually responded it was super nice and helpful#very appreciated#unfortunately#myself.#so here we are in Inspiration Paralysis#augh. AUGH.#also reading fics about The Character is actually so hard n scary bc fandoms are mean#and seeing people talk in comments about “oh when the character is actually written CORRECTLY#makes me scared i’m one of the people being accused of Doing It Wrong#RSD is terrible and evil and poisons your brain actually#can fandoms just stop talking about ‘people doing things wrong’ as if it’s possible to be wrong about sth imaginary please#i will sleep much better at night thank you
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Sorry If I'm late but happy birthday cutie 😊🩷
Happy squealing . . lovely friend !!! ♡
♡ . ˚ * . 🤍
🤍⋆˙⊹ 🧸 . ˚ * . 🧁
⊹ 🎀 * ・��� 🧸 ⊹ 🤍
♡ . ˚ * . ʚ ♡ ɞ
You were not late! Actually you said it at the *perfect* time !!
(Cus I’m a fairy so every time is the perfect time! It’s true !!!)
Thank you *so* much !! ♡ ♡
You are an angel cus you made me so happy today :D
Now I wanna make *you* happy, too . . sooo I’m gonna sprinkle you in my prettiest fairy dust & give you a million hugs !! Okay ???
Please take care, my friend !! ♡
I’m wishing you all the love in the world, and so much sweetness for your day ~ !!!
🤍 . ˚ * . ʚ XOXO ɞ
⊹ 🧁 ˚ . 🎀 * 🧸
#<3#ask#i am the happiest fairy :D#cus this was so nice !!!#i just lit up inside hehe :D#thank you so much !!!#you are very kind ! <3#and i truly appreciate this !!#so i hope that you’re doing well <3#that you’re full of happiness <3#and that your day was the best ever !! <3#sending hugs and lots of love ! :D#take care my friend ~ !! <33#xoxo ! <3#🤍 . ˚ * . ʚ 🧸🧁🎀 ɞ
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reminder: stop asking SO their opinion on my art.
spoiler: it's always disappointing.
#like idk man. i think i'm getting a little better (disregarding SebbyQUEST obviously) but their reaction is always disheartening#like.. i dunno man.. if i seem a little excited about it maybe don't go 'nice..?' with an audible/unsure question mark#a solid 'nice' would be appreciated#my favorite is still 'ehhhh...... mehh...' ouch#fucks sake mate#and you know what? those reactions would be perfectly fine if they at least had some constructive criticism#or said anything to accompany that#but they don't. so it only feels shitty. (thanks.)#i don't want to feel like the kid whose crappy drawing you put up on the fridge only because you feel bad about it. but that does it.#i am very well aware that i'm.. not great/mediocre at these things. i don't expect more than a lukewarm reaction.#and i know that. and at the end of the day. i'm doing/making these things because i want to. because it brings me some form of joy.#and because i hope to get better with time. but i.. don't think a little encouragement is too much to ask for.#actually i think the best reaction i've gotten from them so far was actually SebbyQUEST. lol. yikes.#sighs. here i go being a whiny lil' bug about it.#bug.txt
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I just wanted to let you know that you are one of the only writers I’ve seen do a time travel fic in an intensely narratively satisfying way. I know you don’t really plan on updating it anymore (which is so valid!! I’m just so glad I got to read *anything* from you, you’re so talented!!!). There are virtually no plotholes, you chose the perfect character to voice the narrative (he wouldn’t give away too much, so it leaves the reader in suspense), and you write the most beautiful character relationships!! Your attention to detail and understanding of the effects of trauma supplement the narrative so well!!! Both the subtle and large-scale effects were interwoven so well. And the suspense!!!! Oh my gosh!! The double dramatic irony of us the readers knowing things Aizawa doesn’t and Aizawa knowing things the rest of the characters don’t constantly kept me on the edge of my seat. It’s one of the only fics I can reread and find new details in every time. Every single character is written with so much love and care, it’s so beautiful and impressive!!!!! It’s such a kind story, overall :,)
There are so many more things I could say, but I think I’ve left enough comments on the fic itself and would probably go waaaaay over the word limit for a tumblr ask.
I hope you continue to find and work on projects you enjoy doing, even if tmgr isn’t one of them <3 <3 <3
You’re just a truly excellent writer and I wish you nothing but the best!! Reading your works is genuinely a privilege ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
;___; maybe I’ll just cry forever because of this ask tbh this was incredibly sweet and kind and I don’t have any clue what to say in response that will express how reading this made me feel
Time travel fics (tbh time travel fixits in general, there’s a bunch of kcomics that have the same trope and I live for them too) are so near and dear to my heart, and they’re my go-to “things are hard, I need something that makes me feel like mistakes don’t have to be forever,” comfort reads, and it really means so much to me that you enjoyed my take on one so much. And also that you picked up on a lot of my deliberate choices! The double dramatic irony, picking Aizawa (who admittedly is my fave bnha character so I was probs always gonna pick him BUT he also made a great unreliable-but-predictable narrator), and the trauma affecting things subtly and obviously… Sometimes I wonder how much of what I write gets across to readers, because I’m v much a “every choice I made, every word I picked, they all had a reason even if I don’t explicitly say what that reason is,” kinda writer, and it’s both amazing and humbling to have those details picked up on by a reader tbh 💕
Thank you very very very much for sending this message and brightening my day, it was so nice to read and means a lot 💕 I hope to get back into writing something (anything!!! I miss writing) soon-ish now that the holidays are over and 2024 is in full swing, and hopefully I’ll get something out there that’ll be in a fandom you enjoy 💕 thank you again!
#starlight personal#starlight fandom#starlight asks#truly it’s when anyone goes ‘your writing is awesome’ rather than ‘this fic is awesome’ that’s gets me gobsmacked ngl#v much view my writing as a ‘even a broken clock is right twice a day’ type thing even now rather than having faith that I write well#(not that I’m not always grateful and touched by ppl who love a specific fic and not to say those comments aren’t also appreciated!!!! just#that specifically commenting about my writing ability is the fastest way to make my brain blue screen; so thank you!!!!)#it’s been a bit of a rough month so far (dear god we’re not even halfway through jfc) so this was a very very nice pickmeup to read#I really do wanna post something again soon but I don’t want to post another WIP that I’ll never finish lmfao ;__;#finishing things is the WORST I was born to get halfway through and then have the ending teleported from my brain into paper w/o effort#if only lmfaoooo#but anyway!!!! thank you so much I appreciate this a lot and I hope you have a lovely day
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Completing Hard Rain on expert difficulty
I don't even have a witty tagline for this one, this was just terrible
Day 1.
Once again joined by Tabitha, most god gamer alive. Today Ellis is wearing an outfit called 'Neon Slasher'. No idea what it is but it looks dope as hell.
So the first map wasn't so bad, that's how it usually goes with this challenge. We only died once, but we had used up quite a few health kits. By the time we got to the saferoom we were all out. So uh, yeah we didn't have a lot of supplies going into the next map.
Still, we tried our best! On maybe our second or third attempt, I got a message from our very good friend Black who asked if he could play too. Hell, why not? A third human survivor oughta increase our odds, right?
Well, not under these circumstances.
Y'know how I told you we used up all our medkits before getting to this saferoom? Yeah, we really needed those. We decided pretty quickly that we should just restart the campaign from the beginning and try to save as much resources as possible.
Luckily, we did just that! We got to the saferoom again without dying and we had three health kits to spare!
Now came the real challenge. We had the supplies. We had the audacity. All we needed to do was get through the sugar mill, and the rest of the campaign would be smooth sailing... Hopefully.
Let me tell you man, it was rough. I don't know how many witches we startled but I do know that I'll have that terrifying choir music ringing in my ears forever. I think avoiding the witches is the most difficult part of this entire campaign, if not this entire expert challange.
It was nice to cuddle my homies in a corner in terror as the witch killed the bot, though. Love canoodling with my homies.
On one attempt, I threw a Molotov at a tank right when Tabitha got incapped. So... yeah, she burnt to death. My bad. I immediately got my karma though, as a smoker dragged me into my own fire. I didn't get a screenshot of it, but here's an artistic recreation of the scene.
At some point, Black threw a pipe bomb and it blew up almost this entire shed. Like, it's just a skeleton now. I don't know why but that was for some reason really funny to me. Look at it. He turned it into a gazebo.
On another attempt, I had accidentally friendly fired at Tabitha, incapping her. I then immediately friendly fired at Black after that, incapping him as well. I also somehow managed to startle a witch in the process. This all happened within the span of a few seconds. I don't know how I managed to fuck up this badly. I really don't. I swear to god I'm usually much better than this.
I didn't even fight the witch that was running towards me. I accepted my fate. This was my punishment for what I had done.
I swear not every death was my fault, we all had our fair share of fuckups. I just had to bring up my blunders because even though it was painful it was also kinda hilarious.
Thank god there's like 8 respawn closets on this map. Like, there was one around literally every corner. I've got no idea how many times we had to rescue each other, but I know we had at least one or two revivals per attempt.
At least whenever I died I got to look at Nick's amazing outfit. The pink and yellow glasses are really a serve. Absolute fashion king over here.
Sadly, after about 15 deaths, we had to call it for the night.
We managed to get to the bottom of the elevator once, but I died juuuust across the street from the gas station. Maybe if I had an adrenaline or a bit more health I could've made it. At least we know it's possible! If we can do it once, we can do it again.
We're all pretty certain the sugar mill is the most difficult part of the campaign, no way the run back or the finale would be more cruel than this.
I'll look up some strategies from other players who've attempted this, and we'll try again tomorrow. Stay tuned for part 2!
In the meantime, look at my spray. I completely forgot I had it LMAO
#long post#very long post#WE CAN DO THIS#PLEASE encourage us in the replies and tags#Thank you so much to those who've enjoyed reading my suffering and those who've said nice things#I appreciate all of you#Also feel free to ask for the link to any mods you see#kebby rambles#l4d2#left 4 dead 2#l4d#left 4 dead#valve#pain and suffering and crying and throwing up
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Throwing in fun (not fun) facts to contribute esp bc I was tagged in the essay: (Sorry in advance this is literally my career and special interest AND I just got back from a training conference about this SO obv I am going to talk too much. Disclosure: These statistics are from peer-reviewed sources AND the National Children's Alliance. The NCA IS an American association, though, so take this all with a grain of salt bc we're applying it to someone whose bg is not American lmao. This is an essay for funsies. CW: discussion of and stats about CSA, Child Abuse) Relevant to the Jo stuff is also that victims of one/any kind of abuse are statistically much more likely to subsequently face overlapping abuse, so knowing he comes from a home where abuse and potential neglect was actively occurring sets Jo-boy up for some sad statistics. I am looking for my notes on the stats for that but it's something stupid high, I wanna say over 30 or 40%.
Additionally, 47%~ of CSA victims are revictimized. Abysmal statistic but mostly just an interesting note if this IS the case/if we choose to interpret Jo this way bc of the other things mentioned in Masu's ask, specifically if we're viewing his unhealthy and ultimately traumatic relationship with Ikumi as a potential example of that revictimization (similarly, coming from a like background, it may have been revictimizing for Ikumi if she had ever experienced something like CSA, as well. It's one of those cases where they both got hurt even if neither of them were at fault for "playing house" as Jo calls it).
Seconding/Adding on to Masu's thoughts about Jo's behavior being as self-destructive as it is because of the compounded trauma of his life, victims of adolescent abuse "engage in health-risk behaviors such as substance use, physical fighting, and risky sexual activity," in far higher numbers than non-victims. We know for facts that adolescent Jo checks at least 2 of those 3 boxes, and that he still puts himself in unnecessary danger as a full grown adult (the Heian Tower fight, and Hoshino's Office fight): An interesting and well-written cycle of trauma and abuse on RGGs part, tbh, but also so narratively telling about how he saw/sees/continues to see himself as more an object than a person. (Love your notes on that btw, it rings very true. I could write an essay on that alone tbh.)
Another weird little thing I notice from both a Doyalist AND Watsonian perspective: Jo's disclosure of his father's abuse would classify as what we call an "accidental disclosure" in the field even though it's clearly intentional that he shares it with Ichi - it's offhanded and markedly unimportant in the story he's telling. He says it passively in a literary sense, as well: "The only thing waiting for me at home was my father's fists." Like homie, that's the most roundabout way you could have said "My dad beat me." Interestingly, up to 50% of [specifically CSA] victims do not state outright that abuse occurs, but disclose it accidentally/offhandedly; and in general, accidental disclosure is more common among people who have also delayed disclosure. Up to 66% of admissions from victims of child abuse come delayed if they come at all.
I think it's a very in-character remark of him to make, but statistically, it lines up with other victims of abuse as a whole. I think it's also just cool that from the Doyalist perspective, writing his lines in this way was intentional. It's part of the whole "Everything Jo says sounds like it could mean more than one thing" thing. He speaks poetically - it's intentional not just for the character but for the writer.
Okay, I'm done for now I'm sorry I just wanted to throw some added stuff into the convo bc I love applying my everyday usage of adolescent-focused trauma care and pysch shit to blorbos and seeing what sticks. Anyway, I also have a shit ton of thoughts on Masumi Arakawa as an abuse survivor but THATS another essay I won't dig into now. If I am still in your good graces after this long ass spiel I will consider it not only amazing but perhaps even cool as hell.
[ continuity of this ask ]
#long post#cw csa#its related im keeping it LMAO#snap chats#love the implication that you'd be 'out of my good graces' for sending this LMAO NO YOURE FINE WHY WOULD I BE MAD#i wouldve chewed out masu at this point if that were the case i enjoy readin these#the thing is we just have to accept im very stupid and wont have a lot of commentary. just quiet note taking#and i very much do appreciate posts like these cause its a nice reminder for things im aware of but have become very passive to#like jo's passive exposure of his traumas is something im aware of and because of that i dont focus on it as much as i should#so thank you- to you and masu for writing as extensively as you do#again im just very dumb so i wont have anything else to add on that hasnt been already said#or it wont be anything i can just sit and write in a couple of minutes its something thatd prob take a while to write as in-depth as i want#which is why i feel bad for responding. Not At All with these types of asks LMAO CAUSE EVIDENTLY a lot of effort is done by you guys#and i appreciate it a lot so thank you again for writing in#arakawa as an abuse survivor is something i think of a lot and remembering his abuse as a child shines light on his actions and mentality#so i mean if you wanna share your thoughts on that go ahead ! just know. i prob will Also not have a lot to add on to it LMAO#LIKE THE BEST WAY I CAN INTERPRET MY LINGUISTIC INEPTITUDE IS JUST ME LISTENING my sister tells me i listen really well#and i do enjoy listening. because again im not smart enough to think of things on my own or i dont think its worth sharing some things#so always happy to read whatever you want to share
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(Previous DCMK-game anon) That was exactly what I was looking for! Thank you so much, you are was so helpful and so kind to take time out of your day to respond! Hope you've been well :) ❤️
[Game ask]
Aww, Anon 🥺 I'm glad I was able to help! I love talking "niche" DetCo content—there's a lot of fun stuff out there that I like bringing more attention to!—so I love asks wondering about that kind of thing. Gives me an excuse to ramble!
Thank you for such a sweet ask!
#replies#anonymous#please excuse the ramblings that are gonna follow but#i've often answered asks that don't even get a 'like' from the person who asked in the first place#so this message just really made me 🥺#and for the record it's totally fine to not 'like' my responses! i answer asks because i want to--not for 'recognition' or anything#but it's really nice to be appreciated thank you 🙏#i'm sorry i don't always answer asks the most quickly and sometimes struggle to answer at all but i read and appreciate every one!#hoping to be more present now--my laptop (that i got at the end of *last year*!) broke down#it took about a month for the warranty replacement to arrive and the older laptop i had in the meantime shuts off constantly#on top of all the traveling i was doing and some other irl stuff i've been working through#it's been difficult for me to be very present on social media#but new laptop is here! and i'm done traveling for a while#so i hope to be here more#y'all have been making so much good stuff while i was going through it! feel like i've missed so much!#ahh ramblings aside thank you again for the asks! 🙏
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