#Than people who attack others for having a less than perfect take without even making an attempt to explain why they're upset

[matterawareofitsownexistence]

When I was in high school we read Persepolis. We read Night. We read Fahrenheit 541, and Bradbury short stories, and the Handmaid's Tale. We read The Kite Runner, though admittedly I picked a specific class that focused a lot on literary analysis for that one.

All of these stories meant something to me. They are not only history, some more literally than others, but warnings and lessons about our own present. The hanged boy in Night still haunts me, and I honestly haven't touched the book since I first read it years ago. That was one of the first times someone didn't pull their punches in explaining atrocities to me. It frightened me, and saddened me, and made me angry. It frightened me that people could be so terrible. It saddened me that people had to survive these things. It made me angry that it took so long for people to stop these things.

And it made me realize that these things could still happen. Night was one of the best reading experiences I had in school, and it disturbed me, but it made me a better person because now I understood that atrocities weren't just one off flukes. They were choices by normal people. Either to be a bystander or to attack people who were different from themselves.

As Headspace said, being upset and uncomfortable is part of learning history, but more than that, it's just part of learning. And I never want to stop learning.

[hardlyinteresting]

Love, Guilt and Other Wounds

Aaron Hotchner x female reader

When Aaron and his partner are taken hostage, he has to break her heart to save her life.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, a little bit of domestic fluff, mention of blood, injury (non-graphic), hostage situation, knives, cannon-compliant themes of violence, non-detailed discussion about religion (Christianity), themes of childhood abuse, please let me know if you want me to add anything else.

Word count: (less than I expected, sorry) 3.7k  Request here! | Masterlist

"Of course, I’ll hurt you. Of course, you’ll hurt me. Of course, we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence". - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Aaron isn't sure if he believes in a God or a higher power. He was taught to read scripture; and spent Sunday mornings perfecting his posture in church pews-- starched shirts and neckties pulled too tight. The preacher's sermons left him wanting-- wondering how this man of God could stand over his congregation preaching every week, and not see all the lies they were holding back. How could he not see the secrets Aaron seemed to read so clearly? At just fourteen Aaron knew who was having an affair and with whom. He could see which children feared their fathers. Every pew had another story, another family growing together, or falling apart. The hypocrisy of it all drove him mad, and he imagined standing from his seat to shout it, overwhelmed as he realized he had unintentionally become the keeper of everyone's secrets. He learned that everyone in that church was a liar in their own right, and he hated it. But, when he left for college, his mother called to ask if he was still going to church on Sundays, and he lied and said yes. 

He should have paid more attention. Maybe then he'd understand how he ended up here. Perhaps it's some sick retribution. A cosmic evening of the scales; his penance for his sins. He just wishes you weren't here with him. How dare he think he could love someone when all he's ever done is punish those who love him? His hands are stained with blood; he taints everything he touches. 

Very early on in his career, Aaron learned he couldn’t take cases personally. As devastating as it was to have another victim show up while hunting a killer, it wasn’t a personal failure. Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. He repeated the process again and again. Logically he knows that he is not responsible for the actions of the aggressive sociopath who is now holding the two of you hostage; but, he blames himself for not keeping you safer, for bringing you with him, and for putting you in harm's way. He knows he will not recover if you don’t make it out of here. He won’t forgive himself. 

The profile said this man would be anti-social. Physically, he’d be small in stature. It was clear he’d been sneaking up on his victims. He had been taking couples, knocking out the men with a blow to the back of the head, and then the women. It’s a method that the team had seen before, common for UNSUBs without the social ability to lure their victims, or the physical strength or confidence to attack head-on. But they had not profiled that he would escalate to taking out his targets with a taser. 

After six days in San Diego, the team finally had a lead on two rental properties in the UNSUB’s comfort zone. One was an old tyre factory, listed as a multipurpose warehouse and storage space; the other was a large storage facility in an industrial neighbourhood. Both units had been paid for in cash, both offered the privacy and space required to hold and torture two people for days at a time. The team split up, Hotch and you arranged to meet the owner of the factory space to find out more about who the renter was and gain access to the property. With no response from the owner of the second property, Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi headed over to check it out. 

The two of you had only been on the property for five minutes before Aaron had been incapacitated and taken out. He had foolishly made his way into the building while you ran back to the SUV to grab your jacket. Out cold, there was nothing Aaron could do to stop you from meeting the same fate. 

It’s not his fault. But he feels like it is as he watches you shiver from across the room. He can’t be certain how much time has passed, but it feels like hours. He can only hope that you’re being kept in the building you were attacked in, that the team will connect the dots and come and get you, but until then you’re stuck. He watches, nauseated as your eyes flutter open, and then shut again. You’re concussed, he doesn’t need to be a doctor to know that. His ears are ringing, and he’s sure the blow he took to the head has at the very least temporarily worsened his hearing. 

“Doesn’t the FBI have rules against fraternization?” The UNSUB wonders out loud, waving a knife around as he walks towards you. 

“What makes you think we’re a couple?” Hotch asks, as he tries to work his hands free from the rope that binds them behind his back, “She’s just a colleague”. 

It’s a lie. But it needs to be said. Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. Buy time, shift the UNSUB’s interest away from the two of you. Ruin the fantasy.

“I think I’ve been doing this long enough to know a couple when I see a couple, Aaron,” the man taunts, obviously proud of himself. He’s feeling emboldened having taken two FBI agents, but that works in your favour. He’s getting cocky, too full of himself. It’s a level of confidence he isn’t used to having, it just gives him a higher height to fall from. Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. “I think it’s time we wake your girlfriend up,” the man says, his hand gripping tightly at your hair, your head tugged back without remorse. 

Aaron resists the urge to cringe as he hears you groan, your face twisted with obvious pain as you’re rudely awakened. “She’s pretty. What’s she doing with you?” 

“I told you. She’s a colleague”. 

Your eyes are unfocused, scanning the room trying to make sense of what is going on. 

The man raises the knife, holding it to your throat. This time Aaron blinks, desperate to control his expressions and micro-expressions. In this scenario, the less he cares about you, the safer you are. 

It’s the burden of being tied to him. Time after time his love destroys people. 

The blade presses closer to your throat. Aaron controls his breathing. 

“Impressive agent Hotchner. But I’m still not convinced,” the UNSUB moves the blade but pulls your head back further. Your eyes meet Aaron’s, “Do what you’re going to do, he doesn’t care,” you say. You’re speaking to the man with the knife in his hand as much as you’re speaking to Aaron. He weighs his options, his heart pounding as he watches you hold your breath, willing the tears to leave your eyes. It’s the permission he needs but doesn’t want.  Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. He knows you’re doing the same, telling him to break your heart to save your life. 

“Please, Hotc--”. 

He doesn’t let you finish, “Just shut up for once. Please,” he thinks the words cut through him more than they cut through you. Knowing his cruelty is a lie does little to soften the blow, and it breaks his heart to be the one throwing it. 

But this is all he’s good for, isn’t it? Letting people down. Surely it’s not just coincidence that so many of those who have dared to love him end up damaged. One way or another he destroys people. Who is he to say that he’s the one who is suffering when it’s he who does all the damage? 

Even as a child, he couldn’t help it. He thinks perhaps he inherited his sharpened tongue and lack of patience from his mother. She loved him in her own way but could never show it without first tearing him apart. Her biting words, and regular beatings. Prentiss had been right when she once said he was distrustful of women-- unfairly so. Not all women carry the hateful, spiteful heart his mother had. Very few had ever turned their rage at the world and their shortcomings into a personal and violent rage against him. He grew weary nonetheless. Better safe than sorry.

 At a young age, it became clear to him that there were few things, if anything, as important to his mother than appearances. On Sundays, she fussed over his clothes and his posture. She lectured him on table manners from the moment he could hold a fork. His room had to be spotless. His grades had to surpass average. Long before his brother was ever born, he learned how to live up to her expectations. But still, there was always something she could find him lacking in, an excuse to take her open fist or wooden spoon to his skin, a reason to send him to bed without dinner. He remembers crashing into the china cabinet trying to escape her one night. She was mortified on Monday when he had to walk into school on Monday with a cast around his arm. “Make sure they know this was your fault,” she told him. Perhaps I was built to fail, he had thought. She loves me and I embarrass her. I will only ever let her down. God, how disappointed she would be to see him now.  

Seconds feel like hours as the UNSUB leers expectantly. The man's mouth twists into a smile when he sees the tears forming in your waterline again. Aaron watches your fist clench presumably to distract yourself from the migraine that matches the pounding in his head, just as much as it is to pull your attention away from the hurtful lies he's about to weave. 

“You were supposed to have my back,” Arron spits with faux vitriol. “You had one job and couldn't even manage to do that”. Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. 

“From the moment you showed up I knew you'd be a problem”. 

He continues to try to work his hands out from the binds. He can feel the knot loosening as he continues to buy the two of you time. “Aaron,” you beg, tears slipping down your cheeks now. 

“Following me around with some school girl crush. Look where we are now,” Aaron breathes. 

He can feel his father’s rage resting on his shoulders, as heavy as his hands were when he used to pat him on the back. It’s a quiet burning, far more silent than his mother’s anger, but it’s there and threatening him all the same. A silent shame; a fear induced by the knowledge that he’s failing but not being able to stop it. His father lived like a ghost in their home, just as Aaron has learned to haunt his life. He only ever raised his voice when he drank, but even then his hatred was self-directed. A sorrowful self-pity. A cry for help. The affairs, the gambling, the drinking; the man punished himself, stumbling home to a house with a vengeful wife, a silent boy, and a crying baby. It was a heart attack that finally killed him, but Aaron never doubted his father had stopped living long before that. 

Aaron breaks his own heart as he delivers each verbal blow. He hopes you understand. He prays that just maybe your concussion might leave the memories of this moment blurry. Selfishly, he begs you to forgive him, because he won’t forgive himself. 

He can see the way your wrists strain against your restraints. The UNSUB adjusts his grip on your hair as you struggle to distance yourself from him. Your eyelids flutter and he knows your vision must be swimming but you don’t give up. With a sadistic grin, the UNSUB wipes at the tear stain on your cheek with fake sympathy, grasping your jaw roughly he forces you to look straight at Aaron, “Poor girl… guess boss man doesn’t care about you after all. What a waste,” he sighs his breath heavy against your cheek, as he moves to hold the knife to your throat again, “She’s so pretty,” he directs his commentary at Aaron this time. 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’ve slept with her. How couldn’t I when she was practically throwing herself at me?” The words taste bitter on his tongue as he speaks them. His stomach churns as he continues, “But what we have certainly isn’t love”. 

It couldn’t be further from the truth. Aaron grounds himself choosing to remember the quiet morning you two had shared only a few days earlier. Waking up without an alarm but with Jack sneaking in to jump up on the bed. As he watches you cry now he recalls how you had smiled so brightly at the little boy, ruffling his hair and cuddling Jack into your side. He had watched with a smile of his own as you bargained with his son, promising pancakes in exchange for ten more minutes of sleep on your shared day off. 

You crept into his heart so slowly he had hardly noticed. Until one day, he looked up from the bright pink sticky note you'd left on your recent report, reminding him not to work too hard; he knew, without a doubt, he was in love with you. 

For so much of his life, Aaron conditioned himself to expect a fight around every corner. He learned to make sacrifices from his happiness in fruitless attempts to keep peace. For the first time in forever he's been feeling like maybe, just maybe, he's enough. You’ve been more than patient with him; understanding his hesitance to open up to people again. You don't get upset with him for working late, but you scold him for not getting enough sleep and skipping meals. 

He smiles more. He cracks jokes the way he used to. You've helped him see the forest from the trees--  healed parts of him he didn’t know needed mending. He's tried to do the same for you. He's watched you open up and trust the team more. He's seen the way your confidence has grown and he can't take credit for your growth, but he's enamoured by the transformation just the same. 

You deserve better. You deserve better. You deserve better. The thought echoes in his head the same as it does most days. But now, it’s louder. The voice in his head matches the volume of the ringing in his ears, and the rushing sound of his pounding heart. Compartmentalize. Use logic. Move forward. He fights to remind himself, but the UNSUB is laughing now. Taunting you and your emotions, and there’s nothing Aaron can do but sit there and watch. He struggles to feign indifference, watching as you continue to make yourself smaller. It’s only then that he notices that you too are working your hands out of the rope that restrains you. The UNSUB was stupid enough to tie your wrist in front of you.

Aaron’s eyes focus on the bandaid wrapped around your index finger. You cut yourself making dinner last week. He could have sworn his heart melted when you turned to him holding your hand out, blood beading already. “Aaron, where do you keep your first aid kit?” you’d asked. Your brows furrowed, and your lips pouted. “In the bathroom, the cabinet under the sink,” he’d answered with no intention of letting you go off and tend to your wound alone. Instead, he guided you down the hall, his left hand looped in a gentle hold around your wrist, his other hand on your waist. 

Once you were sat on the countertop he took great care, making sure the wound was cleaned before he bandaged it. “My hero,” you teased, leaning in for a kiss. 

A simple cut he could manage to fix. Jack promised you could use as many of his Star Wars bandaids as you wanted while you healed as well. A little love and patience could make it better, a philosophy he adopted to heal Jack’s scraped knees, and schoolyard bruises. But the sight before him now is far worse than any kitchen mishap could be. 

Your nose is still bleeding. Bruises have already begun to form, red marks turning deep purple with every passing minute. He knows that your concussion is something you'll recover from. The contact burns from where the taser touched your skin will become new skin someday soon. The cuts and scrapes will scab over and then disappear. 

Aaron worries the damage he's done can never truly be ameliorated. Your compassion is unmatched. It’s what makes you a good agent, a good partner, and someone Jack can turn to. You are forgiving. God knows you've excused enough of his behaviour. But, he doesn't deserve to be absolved of this guilt. He will carry this day around in the darkest corner of his heart; the same place he holds the memory of Haley and how he failed her. The words “what we have certainly isn't love,” will linger uneffaced by time or kind words. 

The squeak of an old door opening piques Aaron's interest. The UNSUB doesn't react. Seemingly only interested in tracing the tear tracks on your cheeks. Your eyes are closing again. It's over now, he wants to tell you. He wants to hold you; comfort you; to apologise because you deserve to hear it anyway.

“Paul Simpson. FBI,” Morgan’s voice booms, “drop the knife and put your hands where I can see them”. Prentiss and Dave come to stand next to Morgan, their guns trained on the newly identified perpetrator. Aaron bites his tongue so hard he can taste blood-- it's all he can do to stop himself from bursting into a fit of bitter laughter. We win, he wants to say. 

Disarmed and handcuffed, Paul is escorted outside by Morgan and two members of the local police. Prentiss and Rossi make quick work of untying you and Aaron. 

“Aaron?” he can hear you mutter, breathy and quiet. 

“Yeah, I’m right here,” he promises kneeling at your side. Your eyes are glazed and unfocused as you nod and tip forward. Unconscious, your entire body falls forward into Prentiss’ arms. Aaron’s voice joins Rossi in calling for a paramedic. 

The doctors assure him that you’ll wake up soon. They dealt with his injuries quickly. Bruised ribs are the worst of his injuries. A cut at the back of his head and the taser burns were patched in only a few minutes, though he’ll readily admit he was far from a good patient. Too anxious to keep still much to the nurse’s dismay. 

You’re still asleep. A major concussion will have you out of the field for much longer than he knows you’ll be happy with. He makes a mental note to start setting aside some extra paperwork for when you inevitably start hounding him for something to do. With the lights in the room dimmed, and a comfortable silence settling he allows himself to indulge in the illusion that everything might be alright between you. 

With your hand in his, he breathes deeply trying to focus. He prays to a God he’s not sure he believes in. And when the quiet starts to get to him, he speaks out loud, as silly as he thinks he may look. He tells you about the phone call he had with Jack earlier and lets you know that Jack has a new painting he can’t wait to show you when you get home. Your hand squeezes his, encouraging him to keep talking.

“Aaron?” your eyelids flutter as you adjust to the light. The nurse had them turned to the dimmest setting but it’s still far more than you feel immediately capable of coping with. 

“Yeah, honey,” he affirms. You release the breath you’re holding your brow relaxing.  

“I love you,” you tell him. Your voice is steady and steadfast. Your resolve is impressive, unwavering and determined as you focus on making eye contact with him. “It’s not your fault,” you promise. He’s sure you don’t expect the weight on his shoulders to lighten instantaneously. You’ll tell him every day that he’s not to blame; intent on chiselling away at his guilt, shrinking it down before it manages to consume him. 

“I love you,” he swears. He knows it won’t squash any of the doubt he’s planted. Aaron knows there will soon be days that the niggling insecurity threatens to break what you’ve managed to build together; when the worry that you aren’t enough seems louder than it ever has before. He won’t blame you if you decide it isn’t worth the pain of staying with him. But, he’s hell-bent on loving you through it. He can only hope that it’s enough. 

[maxislvt]

Sink Your Teeth In

pairing(s): vampire!natasha romanoff x werewolf!reader

summary: Vampires and werewolves were known enemies, but Natasha is more than willing to change that. Even if it's just for one night.

warning: amab!reader, blowjobs, sub!reader, slight dubcon

a/n: ummm nat gives the best head case closed

Event Masterlist

Werewolves and vampires were always at odds with each other. Not a thousand years could go by without vampires attacking werewolves or werewolves attacking vampires. It was all the same bloodline ending bullshit. 'Your father killed mine and now I must kill you!' over and over again. Some of those fathers weren't even worth killing anyone over. It was truly a shame that no one could see how compatible the two factions were. Vampires were strict, organized people that valued loyalty above all else. Werewolves were nothing short of loyal and obedient, you just had to train them. Natasha was so close to finding the perfect werewolf for her to prove that. 

Natasha had tried many times to tame a werewolf, but she'd run into a number of problems. They could be taught, but not many of them were willing to learn— especially not from a vampire. As disappointing as it was, it wasn't exactly a shock. A millennium long feuds were rarely ever one sided. Her previous attempts were also foiled by pride, shame, and simply being too boring to have any real fun.

So, Natasha spent another Friday night on the prowl.

Club Sonar was a rather interesting place. A tall building in the middle of nowhere buzzing with all forms of life. Monsters from all over the globe came together under the moon just to party. It was a messy place. The music was loud, bodies grinded against each other without a care, and secrets of all kinds were shared over the strongest alcohol. Though cultures mixed, money did not. 

Each floor of the bar was more expensive than the last. The alcohol got smoother, the music got slower, and the floors actually got cleaned. Upper floors were for people who supported the cause but had no interest in getting dirty. Natasha had more than enough money to sit at the top floor, but that wasn't any fun. She'd never find what she was looking for if she stayed up there. 

Werewolves were just as wealthy as vampires, but they were rowdy. They liked to play rough and get dirty. Big fancy houses just didn't appeal to them as much. Fancy clubs appealed to them even less. Natasha wasn't looking to tame someone — not to say her hand couldn't be forced — she was looking for someone soft and easy to mold. 

You weren't the easiest to find. Despite your size, the people on the dancefloor had no trouble pushing you around. You kept your head down no matter where you went. Natasha could tell you weren't there on your own, which made it harder to take you home. Not too hard though.

"This really isn't your scene," she said when she took the bar stool next to you. It was hard to keep her eyes in the right place. Your shyness was adorable, but there was no denying what she was really feeling. 

You looked around to make sure she was actually talking to you.  Though you weren't opposed to the conversation, it was hard to believe such a pretty woman had approached you. "Um, no. My friends wanted to come here. I mean it's cool just…couldn't we have a library or something? There's no point in intermingling if you're too drunk to remember what you're kissing."

Natasha laughed and scooted closer to you. "I guess you're right, but there's no shame in being curious. Right?" She looked at the glass in front of you. "Oh, that just won't do." Before you could interject, she tapped the countertop twice and brought over the bartender. It was a quick exchange, you didn't even see Natasha pull out any cash. Despite your confusion, you didn't put up a fight. You were exactly what Natasha was looking for. 

Guilt filled your eyes when you looked down at the fresh cocktail in front of you. Was it more rude to let it go to waste or ask the bartender for a refund? "Oh, you really didn't have to do that." Your hands hesitantly wrapped around the glass before taking a sip of the alcohol. The burn hit you immediately, but you tried to play it off. You tensed up to hold in the coughing fit building up in your chest. "It's…great, thanks," you forced out through a tight chest. 

Natasha gave you a firm pat on the back to force you to cough. She took away the glass and slid this towards you. "I would expect a werewolf to have a stronger alcohol tolerance," she said teasingly. Her hand stayed on your back even after your coughing had subsided.��

You shook your head. "A lot of us have sensitive pallets. I can taste whatever crappy oak barrel they made this in." There was an unexpected comfort in the way she touched you. "I should have asked this earlier, but what's your name?" You sat up straight as her hand moved down your back. You never really paid attention to your posture, but you had the strange urge to be better around her. 

"My name's Natasha, but you can call me Nat if you want. What's yours?"

"My name is Y/N. I don't really have a nickname, but whatever you come up with is fine." 

The conversation continued without trouble. Natasha seemed so enamored with how strong your pallet was. At the expense of Natasha's wallet and your sobriety, you had tasted just about every drink the bar had to offer. Eventually, you settled on just drinking strawberry daiquiris while you two talked. 

Natasha pulled your seat closer to her and she leaned down to whisper in your ear. "So how many more of those little smoothies do I have to buy to take you home with me?" Her hand slid up your thigh and gave it a firm squeeze. She could feel your dick twitching already. "I promise I'll only bite where it feels good."

You practically jumped out of your skin when Natasha kissed your neck. It was quick, but you could feel the pointed tips of her fangs brush against your skin. "Um..Can I finish this one first?" Before Natasha could say anything else you pulled out your phone and texted your friends. 'Leaving with a hot lady, ttyl!' was all you sent before cutting off your phone and downing the last of your drink. 

Natasha adored your enthusiasm. "I promise I'll get you home safe in the morning." She kissed your neck one last time before dragging you outside to her car. It was a good thing she brought her chauffeur along because there was no way she'd be able to keep her hands off you the entire ride home. 

You stumbled behind Natasha as best you could. Vampires were usually weaker than werewolves, but you were a little too tipsy to show your strength. You let Wanda push you into the backseat of her car. One sniff of the air and you could tell someone else was in the car. "You have a chauffeur?" Natasha covered your mouth and pushed you further into the backseat. 

"Home," was all she told the driver before closing the partition and focusing her attention on you. "Yes, but I promise the back of the car is soundproof." It certainly wasn't, but she needed to hear how whiny you could get. Natasha practically pounced on you after she closed the door. The kiss was hot and passionate. Your fangs bumped against hers every time your lips collided. "Can you taste what I drank earlier?" She asked with a giggle. 

A whine escaped your lips when Natasha pulled away. "Um…a lot of vodka and cooper..?" Your answer earned you another kiss. Natasha's lips felt like heaven against yours. She overwhelmed all your senses in the most delicious way possible. You didn't even notice how hard you'd gotten. "You smell…really good." You mumbled in the handful of seconds between kisses. 

She chuckled but didn't respond. You were too cute. "I'm going to make you feel so good tonight." Natasha's kisses moved down the side of your jaw until she reached the base of your neck. Her hands wasted no time undoing your belt and tossing it on the car's floor. One of her fingers circled around the tip of the tent in your pants while she watched you squirm. "You're so sensitive."

You opened your mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a string of cursing and desperate whimpering. "Sorry, I'm just new to all of this," you confessed. It was a little hard to imagine your first time going to a bar would take such a turn. 

"Don't tell me someone as cute as you is still a virgin." Your silence was enough. It was as arousing as it was disappointing. Natasha didn't want to go slow by any means, but the thought of getting to corrupt that innocent little mind of yours was exhilarating. "I promise I'll be extra gentle with your little friend." 

The car parked before Natasha could pull down your boxers. Natasha's lust-driven craze left you in quite an awkward position while waiting for her to unlock the door. Holding your pants up only made your bulge stand out more and there was an obscene amount of lipstick covering your neck. You hoped Natasha wasn't secretly vampire famous or else you'd be in real trouble. 

Natasha pulled you into her home and wasted no time undressing you. Your shoes, shorts, sweater, and T-shirt littered the soft carpet. Natasha had you completely naked by the time she pushed you onto the bed. "You're making a mess already," she whispered seductively as she crawled onto the bed. Her eyes focused on the way your member throbbed and leaked precum. 

Your eyes followed Natasha's as she began stroking your member. It was tortuously slow, but it felt good. A near-pornographic moan fell from your lips as your head tilted back. "Your hands are so soft," you whimpered pathetically. All your willpower went into staying still. You didn't know what to do with yourself. "C-can I touch you too?" You blindly reached out and grabbed the first thing you could feel. Mindlessly, you groped the soft flesh in hopes that it would make Natasha feel good too. Your face burned bright red as she moved your hand to where her breast actually was. “Sorry…I wasn’t looking,” you mumbled. 

Natasha kissed up the underside of your cock before licking all the way down to the base. “A good pup would pay attention to someone making them feel this good.” She waited until you looked down at her. Once she was sure you wouldn’t look away, she swallowed you down to the base. Her cheeks hallowed out as she began sucking you off.

Your hips twitched and your eyelids fluttered, but you tried your best to keep your eyes open. As your orgasm got closer, you found it harder to control yourself. An animalistic growl ripped through your throat as you tried to control yourself. Your fangs forced themselves out of your mouth and your claws had nearly ripped Natasha’s sheets. “W-wait, slow down,” were the only words you could get out before it happened. 

Hot white cum painted the inside of Natasha’s throat as she swallowed down everything you gave her. Natasha didn’t give you a break and continued until you pushed her away. “Is that all you have left?” She blew on your bulbous tip before giving it a kiss.

“N-no, I just…I need a second. That’s all.”

[cripplecharacters]

Alright, I'm just gonna bite the bullet. Worst that can happen is I make a fool of myself. I've been working on superhero stories, versions of the same universe since I was in 8th grade and what I want more than anything is to modernize superheroes, create a world where they act for all people's social good and take representation to the highest level I can think of. From your position of expertise, what can I do with the creation of disabled characters that would buck the trend, do some good, and show a good side. The non-prosthetic and non-corrected for disability rep in the genre is basically nil, I have no ideas and nothing to draw on. I guess I just wanna know what disabled audiences might like to see for once in their lives.

Hello!

Disabled superheroes are awesome. There's really few of them but the ones that we do have are often really important to us - you can look at the reactions to Sun-Spider being first introduced to the Spiderverse, back then I couldn't open my fridge without seeing that one panel where she explicitly says she has Ehlers-Danlos.

Here are a few suggestions of what I'd like to see in the superhero genre:

Superheroes with facial differences. Comics love to use us for their ugly disfigured evil villains but not much else unfortunately. I'd kill for a superman type hero who saves people with a smile and a facial difference on his face. Especially for superhero stories that are geared towards kids and teens, we just desperately need something to help with shifting the public perception of people with facial differences from "evil and ugly" to "people that can be awesome". A hero with burn scars, with Treacher Collins syndrome, Bell's palsy, neurofibromatosis... anything.

Superheroes who use disability aids (and still need them when doing their job!). Sun-Spider is an awesome example, she swings from her crutches and has a spider wheelchair. That's cool as hell. But even a less in-your-face aid would be great. A superhero flying above the city with her ankle-foot orthoses visible would go really hard. Also, superheroes who are concerned on how much these things cost and try their best to make sure they're still functional while they save the city.

Heroes with different causes of their disabilities! The vast majority of morally good disabled characters were involved in An Accident or some sort of Attack that disabled them. That's not bad or wrong at all, but I think in media is kind of oversaturated with this specific portrayal when a lot of people have progressive or congenital conditions. We need more stories that show those who were born disabled as heroes equal to those who were born abled and spent most of their lives abled. Superheroes with cerebral palsy, chromosomal disorders, congenital rubella, achondroplasia, all the disabilities that tend to get ignored despite so many people having them. Same for really common chronic illnesses, diabetes or COPD are criminally underrepresented.

Disabled superheroes that aren't saints because of their disability. This is the whole "disabled person can do no wrong" trope that appears sometimes. I'm mentioning it since superheroes are more "perfect" than most characters in other genres, so try to not make it so the disabled ones can do no wrong. Disabled people can still make mistakes that are their fault, make poor decisions, or just simply be angry sometimes.

When there's no active superhero action going on, show the normal human parts of the disabled experience. Depending on the demographic you're writing for it would be different things, but there are some fairly universal concepts like inaccessibility, microaggressions, or just boring things like the prosthetic leg no longer fitting well after the character gained some weight. If your characters are from the US, don't be afraid to mention that their insulin costs are barely affordable with their superhero pay. Show how the common everyday kind of ableism affect them when they're in civilian mode. This will make it much more authentic to disabled readers.

These are my suggestions, and I hope they are helpful. My last advice is to have multiple disabled characters, and in different roles. Maybe a character with late ALS can no longer do superhero fighting, but he can still be a wonderful parent. Maybe the character with Usher syndrome is more interested in the hero than being a hero themselves (disabled heroes in relationships!). Maybe the character with phocomelia can't be a hero yet because she's six, but she can train hard to be one when she's older. Keep it varied, have them come from different life situations and have different goals just like abled characters do.

I hope this helps!

mod Sasza

[leocchisart]

OKAY; We need to talk about this TyZula scene:

this scene has been talked about a LOT. specifically by anti-tyzula/azula fans. but for this "rant" im looking at it through the lens of just azulas character.

it is DETRIMENTAL to azula as a character. this will be a slightly indepth review i guess. im sure someone already talked about this and what im going to say, but i just want to bring it to light considering some of the anti-azula/tyzula stuff i've been seeing recently

Part 1: Azulas reaction to the way Ty Lee approaches her

the way ty lee approached azula is really important here. you might just think, "oh leo it's just Azula being jealous!" but when ty lee walks up to azula saying, "thank goodness you're here!" (i didn't get this part in the clip cuz im a fool and didn't record it on time but whatever go watch the clip on youtube) this qoute is really impactful. it possibly made azula feel less than ty lee. here is the qoute again, "Thank goodness you're here", i feel like azula would take this very personally.

even just the single first sentence. "Thank goodness" is obviously ty lee thanking azula, but for what? you might say, "well yeah for being there" but i genuinely believe azula would interpret this along the lines of, "she only wants me when she needs me" or something like that.

Part 2: Azula's jealously towards Ty Lee

i think a lot of people solely think she's jealous over the boys liking ty lee more than her. but it's not just that. i genuinely find that azula is not only jealous of the boys, but also social interaction in general. specifically with ty lee having that skill and her not.

we don't have much information as to mai, ty lee, and azulas experience in the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, but im assuming azula didn't need much social skills to succeed there. she had two close friends to deal with people speaking to her, and was literally a crown princess of the FIRE NATION. if she couldn't get what she wanted whether mai or ty lee were there- she could always use her royalty as her advantage. i also can see her threatening those in school who opposed her (without using her royalty as a reason). there is a key moment we see during a flashback where azula and ty lee are playing. azula did her best to preform a cartwheel and failed while ty lee succeeded. because of this azula actually pushes ty lee down!

keep in mind that this is one of azulas closest friends other than mai. we can only IMAGINE what azula would do to a student who got in the way of something she wanted.

so yes; azula is jealous of ty lee getting attention from boys, but it's not solely that. it's her social skills that she's also jealous of.

Part 3: The Conflict

azula gets defensive after her reaction to the previous plot point. she verbally attacks ty lee because of it. azula says to ty lee, "those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them! you're not a challenge, you're a tease."

yes azula is "critiquing" the "way" ty lee attracts men. azula is saying she'd do the exact opposite. but the opposite is all she knows. she grew up learning the power of being the best, being perfect, and fear mongering. she genuinely sees that as the way to handle ANY social situation.

as far as, "it's not like they actually care who you are." qoute goes; azula sees this as another flaw in her interactions with men.

example is when she tries to convince chan to to maybe (?) have a relationship or farther; she uses (not exactly royality) but her skills as a skilled bender for a reason to stay with her. considering she has no social skills, her only option (in her mind) is to use her higher power. ty lee doesn't use her high rank in nobility (along with her chi blocking abilities) to what azula would call an advantage.

im not defending azulas verbal assault on ty lee. im solely explaining (imo) the feelings behind it.

Part 4: Ty Lee's reaction

This one is simple. ty lee is hurt by azulas words. obviously.

Part 5: Azula's redemption for this scene

it already baffles me when people say azula is (pure evil) just based on her actions between others. but this scene shows a side of azula we haven't been able to see so far through the series. an apology. not only did she apologize to ty lee but admitted her mistake and explained why she said what she did. i think it's insane that people solely walk past this scene and only see it as azula bullying ty lee. if anything it's the opposite. yes she makes a rude remark, but after seeing ty lee's reaction she IMMEDIATELY takes her comment back an apologizes.

this is so human and shows a side we hardly ever got to see. especially when it's specifically between her and ty lee. their relationship is so important as far as azulas character goes. (not to get too deep into it but,) even in "Azula and the Spirit Temple" ty lee is one of the illusions that the spirit attempts to make her happy with. azula obviously has a strong connection to ty lee in a loving and caring way that most people look past. whether it's from these scene or that specific comic. obviously their relationship has unhealthy flaws but what relationship doesn't?

Part 6: A quick resolution

so there you go. basically an essay on a single 36 second clip i just wanted to give azula some light because people ALWAYS paint her as "crazy" or "evil" but that's simply not true. same goes for TyZula. yes there is a power imbalance, but azula does admit her mistakes and apologizes for hurting ty lee's feelings.

Anyway thanks for reading!!

[corviiids]

ok here is a playlist about light yagami

| light | no surprises - radiohead // | the death note | uprising - muse // boulevard of broken dreams - green day // | misa amane | starlight - muse // | ryuga hideki | do you want me (dead?) - all time low // | memory | i love you - woodkid // | the death note ii | NOSE BLEED - stand atlantic, sueco // you're gonna go far, kid - the offspring // when your heart stops beating - +44 // dead! - my chemical romance // wake me up when september ends - green day // | yagami | mama - my chemical romance // disarm - the smashing pumpkins // father and son - yusuf / cat stevens

also on youtube

(thoughts and context under the cut)

no surprises - light's nihilism and disillusionment pre-kira - without the death note i think light would have gone down this line faster.

A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government

uprising; boulevard of broken dreams - self-explanatory i feel

Rise up and take the power back It's time the fat cats had a heart attack You know that their time's coming to an end

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone

starlight - misa towards light

Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die ... My life You electrify my life Let's conspire to ignite All the souls that would die just to feel alive

do you want me (dead?) - light and L's early rivalry and interactions in college are largely exploratory, simultaneously more and less openly hostile, still cautious and uncertain where they stand with each other.

There's no such thing as a perfect crime Don't play that You've said it enough Cause you want me Or you want me dead

i love you - self-indulgent haha i couldn't resist. takes place in a similar continuity to my fic where light and L start a fake relationship for the investigation but when light briefly thinks it's real after he loses his memories. i think canonically light is too irritated with L's poor moral compass to develop true feelings for him even during this arc, but i do think it's reasonable to think light might develop a bit of a puppy crush and a desire for L's attention lol. simultaneously it's kinda a bit of L at kira.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

NOSE BLEED - i think this is the most lawlight song ever. (this also made me think of a couple of my fics.) after light gets his memories back i think his attachment to L transforms into a bit of disgust directed both at himself and L

I'd rather be lonely and hate myself Than someone you think about ... So this is what you get For messin' with my head Don't wanna end up dead (Dead) Six feet in the ground

you're gonna go far, kid - nobody wants to hear that this song is about light yagami but it is. lowkey this is L to light while those bells are ringing

There's something in your way And now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want Well it's all because of me Now dance, fucker, dance Man, I never had a chance And no one even knew It was really only you

when your heart stops beating; dead! - self-explanatory and victorious in a hysterical about to start crying way

I'll be there when your heart stops beating I'll be there when your last breath's taken away In the dark when there's no one listening In the times when we both get carried away

Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway Oh, take me from the hospital bed Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned

wake me up when september ends - listen i concede this one doesn't make a ton of sense but i've included it because the vibes work for me. something something a melancholy coming back to the self, a rude and painful awakening after a loss of innocence you cant run from. look over there, a distraction

The innocent can never last ... Here comes the rain again Falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again Becoming who we are

mama; disarm - light to his family, to the world, a manic little soliloquy

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry Mama, we're all gonna die And when we go, don't blame us, yeah We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah You made us oh, so famous ... You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son

I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you

father and son - are you ever just so god damn sad about the yagamis.

FATHER I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy To be calm when you've found something going on ... SON Keeping all the things I knew inside It's hard But it's harder to ignore it

[xjulixred45x]

Hello again, Thank you for answering my first request. May I please request for Yandere Nanami x Frail darling x Yandere Gojo wherein Frail darling manages to escape and tries to hide from them ,but their sickly coughs give them away. How would they handle their darling?

Ohhhh this is very interesting! Im in!

Thank you for the new Request hun❤️

Yandere!Kento Nanami+Yandere! Satoru Gojo x Frail!Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader:neutral

Warnings: YANDERE(kind of soft, it still), UNHEALTY MINDSET, OBSESIVE BEHAVIOR, MANIPULATION, Minor intimidation, sickness, kind of infantilization, runaway scenario, SCARY GOJO AND NANAMI. Poly Yandere. A little long.

I have a feeling that you and Gojo and Nanami met in a very arbitrary way. You were someone who was part of their lives on a daily basis.

They probably frequented the same eating places as You, for example.

and to begin with, they were already aware of your fragile state of health from that moment on, if it was not because of your docile and weak attitude, it was because of your sudden attacks of coughing or sneezing.

It made both Gojo and Nanami notice you and in a way think more of you, since you were more likely to be a victim of Curses.

They took care of you from afar at first, like they were SUPPOSED to. It wasn't until Gojo decided to take the "first step" to interact directly with you with the excuse that this would better exorcise the curse that was close to you. (all without consulting Nanami obviously).

To be honest, from the beginning you felt a kind of intimidating presence, from both of them. You had recognized their existences because they were also frequent, sure, but when they appeared and entered your life, they definitely left you a little shabby. off your feet, to say the least.

Gojo was a very playful friend, you realized this before when you were listening to him talk to Nanami, he loved to annoy him and try to get him out of his temper. but with you it was more of a strangely affectionate type of game.

He would tone it down with you (Nanami's advice so as not to scare you), and he also always tried to make you laugh, which was sometimes a bit counterproductive because you would laugh so much that sometimes you would end up in a coughing fit, and with one of the people rubbing you. your back.

Nanami was more reserved, but his presence was no less intimidating than Gojo's, he made himself noticeable in your life, even though he was considerably calmer than Gojo.

Nanami would always want to be aware of EVERYTHING you were going through, especially with your illness. It didn't seem very strange to you, when the people in your circle knew about your fragile state, they tended to become hyper-aware of your health.

You just dismissed it as that, healthy and genuine concern, especially now that you were having trouble staying afloat with your illness.

You just didn't want to feel like a burden to others.

although indirectly you ended up fueling the obsessive thoughts of both men more.

Yandere Gojo, being Yandere Gojo, as soon as he had these kinds of thoughts he wanted to take you as soon as possible, but Nanami VERY CLEARLY set the limits to which they would go.

(Gojo was probably a yandere for Nanami before he knew it was also reciprocal, so Gojo tends to listen to him to keep him happy and not hold him against him.)

Nanami is a more obsessive and softer type of Yandere, but no less terrifying. In less than a day he already had all the information about his illness and needs in "emergency cases."

Even when Nanami tells Gojo that he's not going to tear you away from your everyday life, he doesn't act like that's the case. He buys many medical supplies and even he and Gojo set up a room together with hospital supplies in extreme cases (with Gojo family maids highly trained in medicine).

Kento wanted your arrival "home" to be perfect--

but Satoru hears himself in advance when he came one day alone to see you...

...and he came back, with you unconscious, in his arms.

To say that Kento was furious at first was an understatement.

But he calmed down relatively quickly, because after all, couldn't they take advantage of this opportunity? They would have to bring you sooner or later, even if he had preferred a better welcome...what's done is done.

In more general cases, these two are a kind of "Good Cop" (Kento) and "Bad Cop" (Satoru).

Satoru is extremely clingy now that he has you and Kento to himself, and he doesn't miss a chance to be close to you.

Apart from the fact that he is the one who is home the most, so he is the one who takes care of you the most, ironically.

Yandere Satoru tends to be a jerk from time to time okay? many times more than treating you like someone sick who still has DESIRES and NEEDS, treats you like a baby, wraps you in a blanket, feeds you with a spoon, etc.

(It's not a good idea to refuse your food unless Nanami is there, forcing it down your throat.)

although he is also the one who tends to spoil you the most and the least rude with "time out" precisely because of his own infantilizing dynamics.

He's like "You?? Runaway from them?? Ha!Like it's gonna happen."

Satoru is quite condescending and, above all, he believes that you are too fragile and delicate to get ready on your own, so he does almost everything for you (which makes everything very monotonous since you rarely leave your "room" and your muscles atrophy from lack of use).

He understands better when you don't want to take certain medicines either because they taste bad or because of the effects they can have on your body, so he usually just grinds them into powder (if possible) and puts them in your favorite food, this way he doesn't have to fight with you to take them.

(the food is done by Kento, Satoru canon burns water).

Although don't be fooled, he is very demanding with affection, hugs, kisses, cuddles, nicknames, both giving and RECEIVING, if you want to gain his trust, a good way to do it is to play along.

Kento, on the other hand, tends to be a bit controlling, but he's the one who doesn't swin because he takes the issue of your health very VERY seriously.

Whenever possible, he will be the one to give you medicine, cook for you, help you change, you don't have to do anything. What happens if you get hurt while trying to cook? Or slip when you try to bathe?

The guy is paranoid.

He probably even gave you a pacemaker without telling you so he could have a record of your heart rates in case of an "emergency"☠️

Nanami is gentle when it comes to you, but at the same time he doesn't underestimate you, there are always several locks on the front door, plus the ones on your door, not to mention the monitor he put in your shared room so he can keep track of everything.

Kento always keeps Gojo in line, and in a way makes him more empathetic to your situation, even if he respects him, he doesn't fully trust him to take care of you. You can use that to your advantage, if you want to be away from Satoru for a while just tell Kento and they will "have a talk".

Although, honestly, Kento may be even more Manipulative than Satoru.

For example, using what happened with Haibara in his youth as an excuse, opening up emotionally to you, to manipulate you and make you see that he is "the lesser of two evils."

As far as possible, both are better in what one lacks. That was what prevented a bad scenario. or at least a worse one you were in now, stuck with both of them.

but on one occasion SOMETHING happens...

It was one of the few days when you would be alone for a couple of hours.

It was a golden opportunity to escape.

you went over everything twice, you took out your pacemaker, you evaded the monitor and Satoru's employees, damn, you managed to get outside!

And what seemed like the icing on the cake? Satoru was supposed to be in Kyoto, even if Nanami started searching on his own, he wouldn't realize you were gone until very late.

You ran and ran as much as you could through the streets of Tokyo, occasionally stealing a few items of clothing to change your appearance a little, paranoid that Kento or Satoru were around the corner.

The plan was to go to the train station in Shibuya - hopefully with so many people you would be harder to detect - and take the first train that would take you away from there, to an airport perhaps.

but as you were going down to go to where the trains were, YOU FELT IT.

His heavy preferences were down there... waiting for you...

How did they know that was where you were going? You had no idea, but you fled in the opposite direction again.

you hid in an alley the best you could. with your heart racing and your heart in your mouth as you felt how they were getting closer...

You had some hope, a little, when they were going to continue on....when--.

A cough.

a coughing fit.

You tried to cover your mouth and muffle the sound, curl up into a ball, anything. so --

-"I found youuuu!~"-

Saotru was right next to you...

Kento made a mistake, but don't worry, this wouldn't happen again, you wouldn't be left alone again if he could avoid it, reinforce security, be with you longer! anything for you!

You have no idea how much you worried them! As soon as Satoru received the call from Kento that you had run away from his house, he stopped everything he was doing and went to help him.

Poor thing! You must be so scared being out there alone! You didn't even bring your cough medicine or anything warm. What happens if you get an outbreak from or due to humidity? You didn't even bring a mask!

Good thing they found you in time, right? You are even crying with joy when you see them! They should take you to the Gojo estate as soon as possible and give you your medicine before your throat becomes infected, stop kicking! They know you like to walk but you are weak! you are weak..

you are fragile!

let them take care of you💙💛

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[thechanelmuse]

How to Get a Menacing Bully to Spiral & Destroy Their Reputation and Brand 😮‍💨

Back in 2021, I reviewed The 48 Laws of Power. One of my favorites. As stated then, it's a well-researched “handbook on the art of indirection” that’s filled with stories and strategies on how societies, groups and individuals throughout history to the present-day have navigated to obtain and/or maintain power. People consider this book to be evil if you're viewing it from a perspective of offense. But if you're an observant and analytical person like myself, you'll simultaneously view it from a perspective of defense on how to protect yourself from someone else's power.

Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" to unbothered silence and Nicki Minaj's 3-day unhinged crash out is a perfect 48 Laws of Power moment.

Megan epitomizes Law 4 and Nicki, who's always viewed herself as untouchable, superior to "her sons," and the self-proclaimed Queen of Rap, destroys Law 5.

Law 4: Always Say Less Than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

"Power is in many ways a game of appearances, and when you say less than necessary, you inevitably appear greater and more powerful than you are. Your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation; they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal, they cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning.

"Your short answers and silences will put them on the defensive and they will jump in, nervously filling the silence with all kinds of comments that will reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. [...] In most areas of life, the less you say, the more profound and mysterious you appear. [...] Once the words are out, you cannot take them back. Keep them under control. The momentary satisfaction you gain with your biting words will be outweighed by the price you pay."

Law 5: So Much Depends On Reputation — Guard It With Your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power: through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once it slips however you are vulnerable and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Before I continue with more excerpts from this law, I wanna point out that Nicki's behavior and slander felt like a struggling display of an overt narcissist trying to discard their perceived enemy. People with that condition, lack empathy overall, spiral and lash out to end you emotionally and mentally when you publicly embarrass them and/or privately shut them out when you cause their mask to fall. Manic anger. Just keep that in mind.

More excerpts:

"A solid reputation increases your presence and exaggerates your strengths without your having to spend much energy. It can also create an aura around you that will instill respect, even fear.[...]

"Make your reputation simple and base it on one sterling quality. This single quality — efficiency, say, or seductiveness — becomes a kind of calling card that announces your presence and places others under a spell. [...] Perhaps you have already stained your reputation, so that you are prevented from establishing a new one. In such cases it is wise to associate with with someone whose image counteracts your own, using their good name to whitewash and elevate your own.

"Once [your reputation] is solid, do not let yourself get angry or defensive at the slanderous comments of your enemies—that reveals insecurity, not confidence. Take the high road instead, and never appear desperate in your self-defense.

"You must not seem to engage in petty 😏 vengeance. If you do not break your enemy's reputation cleverly, you will inadvertently ruin your own."

Emotions cloud reason while silence is golden.

Nevermind that Nicki emboldened her cult following of fans to dox Erykah Badu, Victoria Monét, Lil Ju (Megan's producer), the resting place of Megan's mother 🪦, and anyone who verbalized or appeared to be on opposition... There's a whole chapter in this book on cults: Law 27.

Checkmate, Megan.

[lari-online]

a rant about sydney, carmy, and claire

i want to do this in parts so it’s easier to digest.

part 1 - claire is your classic textbook male gaze, manic pixie dream girl. she’s quirky and funny. she’s ’nerdy girl takes off her glasses and lets down her hair’ beautiful. she’s mysterious but not too much. she’s not like other girls because she isn’t afraid of a little broken arm (or man). she’s fearless. she calls around to ask for carmy’s real number to confront him about giving her a fake one. she’s bold. she seemingly understands him immediately. she remembers him because, he’s the bear and she remembers him. she already knows his entire family so she fits right in. she takes him to house parties to show him life can be fun. she gets him to open up because he’s safe with her. she’s the dream. she’s perfect…but that also makes her boring. and while people who look like her may be able to see themselves within her, it also makes her less relatable and therefore less likable.

part 2 - carmy needs sydney and by extension so does claire. now wether you have hopes for sydcarmy in a romantic sense or not is your business (i personally don’t want syd touching carmy with a ten-foot pole atp. at least not in that way). what’s evident to me though is that people would not be rooting for claire if it wasn’t for sydney. take sydney out of the picture. make it the claire and carmy show. a tale of childhood friends getting a second chance at love. she’s perfect, he’s fucked up but it’s okay because they love each other…tell me you wouldn’t be screaming at claire through your screen to get away from that man. to run for the fucking hills. you need characters like sydney and even richie (who actually make people like carmy deal with their shit) to be the “bitch”/“asshole”. you need to dislike them because they help drown carmy out. they make you believe that carmy may be bad but he isn’t the worst/only one.

part 3 - the relationship between sydney and carmy seems more organic and real than the relationship between claire and carmy because neither syd nor carmy are perfect. they are two imperfect, complex individuals who share a passion, slowly learning more about each other on a personal level. whereas with claire we as an audience are force fed this supposed connection through other characters. constantly reminded of how good she is for him. she is already perfect and knows everything about carmy, which by extension means he’s fucked but fixable. it is also funny because we’ve learned nothing about him through her, like girl please tell us all that you supposedly know and understand about this man lol.

bonus + sorta spoiler - “she’s peace”. i’m sorry…like was that on purpose or am i missing something? is she who you think of to calm yourself down when you’re having a panic attack? does she literally calm you down and ground you when you’re having a panic attack? is the sound of her voice, a simple “hey”, strong enough to cut through all the noise? this is why i want syd to take that opportunity because although she quite clearly is the backbone to that place and i love seeing her, i am dying to see how he’ll fare without her.

[heartfullofleeches]

Oohhh I love the night gallery crew!! <3

Okay so- how would the art gallery harem react to the news that their precious night guard used to pose as a nude art model for one if their previous jobs? Bonus points if they end up digging around and finding old drawings/portfolio pics of them posted online lol

The Painter

Their muse - a model in the past? A nude one at that? They can't say they aren't jealous others have bared witness to their beauty, but they won't be so upset about it if their dearest is willing to come out of retirement and maybe send their older photos up to their study. They promise not to stare too much, but they pray their muse doesn't mind if their eyes linger. It's rare for them to be in the presence of such raw perfection. They are more of a hands on type of painter so their muse wouldn't mind a few touches, no? As they would say, it’s all just apart of the process.

Rosebud

Of course they are interested, but they won't press the matter unless Reader offers to share.... Please ignore the excitement of their roses - though they do reflect Rosebud's inner feelings they assure Reader it's just past their feeding time. Clearly more flustered than they let on. Refuses to look at the images because they would only make them more tempted to leave bites all over Reader to claim them as their own as they are when they see the Guard's exposed neck or wrists or pretty much any uncovered inch of skin.

The Scavenger

Hope staff gives the printer in the breakroom a nice funeral because if Scavenger gets its hands on those portfolio shots it's the end of the line for that poor machine. Anything relating to their precious treasure is the pinnacle of their collection. They must have more - even if it's the same picture a thousand times it's still not enough. If anyone comes across one of their copies it's best theu leave them their because even if they're trying to return them Scavenger will accuse them of stealing. There's not doubt I my mind they've eaten a copy or two because they're weird like that.

The Faceless Angel

Conflicted. On one hand they are interested in seeing their guard in all forms, but on the other it feels like an invasion of privacy. Unlike some, their intrigue comes from an artistic viewpoint rather than sexual. They'd give anything for the opportunity to touch Reader's warm flesh without clothing in the way. It feels like heaven on their stone skin.

The Lady in Red

It's the less images she's interested in and more the people who have seen them. Swiftly cuts down anyone who views Reader's pictures while in the gallery be they human or fellow exhibit. She can't do anything about the past, but does everything in the present to keep too many eyes off her love. Takes the photos Scavenger loses and while she keeps a few on hand - she burns the rest.

Julian

Slimy fuck is probably the first to come across them being the noisy little stalker he is. As an artist in his free time, he does use them for reference, but it's much more fun to use them for other things. Like teasing Reader about their past or taping copies to the breakroom fidge. He only does it when he knows they're the only two on shift because he'll have to hurt anyone who sees them nakee besides him. Like Lady, he's more likely to attack paintings who have gotten a hold of the scavengers copies.

Anri

Their favorite coworker was once a model? How fun! They aren't the best artist, but they can draw Reader too. A little bashful about seeing them naked so they stick to just about the shoulders. They want to at least waiting until their ten date with Reader before seeing them in such a state. Covers their eyes and runs off whenever someone tries to show them. Julian only allows Anri to see the photos because it's fun to chase them through the halls with them or point out various aspects of their features to make Anri flustered

The Director

Dislikes imagine of Reader because while they can be used to create copies of them, The Director wants the real thing. Still has one of Scavenger's photos tucked in his coat pocket.

[yanderehsr]

platonic Yandere star rail where the reader is a teen and ran away from home, only to basically be adopted by another set of parents/ just one parent since they are a street kid now. Now their bio parents and new parent/s have to fight for custody and the readers love all the while reader is hissing at people.

(sorry if it doesn’t make since, I am still learning English and your blog has been a huge help keeping me motivated)

No problem, english ain't my main language either😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour

Herta: She finds interest with you, you don't annoy or bore her like other people, for these simple reasons she is adopting you, it wouldn't have mattered if you still lived with your parents or not, she is interested and that makes you hers.

You act feral, hissing and attacking people at a coins drop, but this is only more endearing to Herta, you are unique, she just wants to controll your life, make every choice, all without you loosing who you are. She doesn't see you as an experiment but it sure will feel like it is.

The court case is an insult, as soon as Herta steps inside she knows she has already won. People practically worship her, on top of that she is way too smart, it takes less than a minute before she comes out with adoption papers

"See, wasn't that easy. Now stop struggeling and let's go home"

Bronya/Seele: After the fight with Cocolia they settled down, sure they had fights every now and then but they were happy. There was one problem, they felt like there was something missing, like there was a position to fill out, and that is when they met you.

Bronya reaches out a hand to you, she is only tring to help you but then she got a good look at you, you were adorable, of course, that was what she and Seele was missing, a child. And you were the perfect one.

Bronya has to convince Seele, which isn't hard, she likes the way you act feral, hissing and trying to hit anyone who comes within two feet of you. So good luck, both of them are protective as all hell, adding to that, Bronya is Clingy and Seele is Possessive, you wont ever escape.

Court case, what court case, Bronya is the leader, the top dog. She simply walks in and she has won, she could tell the judge to do a wheelie and he would probably do it. So no, your parents don't even get to make a case.

"You are now our child, and as our child we want you to be safe"

"And what she means with that is, no going outside, no friends and no disobedience, understood"

[txttletale]

Not to give Riot credit for anything ever because they have the same problems as Blizzard in terms of game balance for the most part, but in the past they did this idea of some characters being good at low tier and some at high tier pretty well in the past. The character that comes to mind the most is a character called Amumu. Amumu is a tank with powerful %health damage (for a tank), a skillshot that pulls him to people and stuns who he hit with it, a strong basic attack damage block that scales with armor and doubles as an aoe damage tool, and a super-ult that very easily stuns entire teams and makes them take more damage from your team. Amumu has consistantly been a good pick for less skilled players because he is very easy to play and understand while providing a large amount of utility for his team. The kicker is that all of his abilities are very telegraphed, if you know what Amumu does, mitigating his power is as easy as spreading out and having your tank stand in front to make Amumu getting in the middle of your team much harder. This makes him a dead pick in pro-play, and only really used by high level one-tricks. This is a good thing. Amumu teaches less skilled players fundementals of tanking in a very easy to use and understand package that provides strong utility, while not being so strong as to become a cheese pick in high tier, even though he is still perfectly usable in high tier play if you're committed to the character. Some characters are going to be weaker than others! I believe so long as characters aren't completely unusable in high tier play (Pro-play exempted as pro players only use the best of the best characters) than the concept you laid out in your overwatch posting is extremely healthy for competitive games.

as someone who spent a lot of time playing both overwatch and league i actually have to disagree with you that riot have the same problems as blizzard when it comes to game balance. i found the league devs were a league (hah) above the overwatch devs when it came to understanding their own game and why it worked, listening to high-level players and their feedback, and letting things have their niche. they even, like, color-code buffs and nerfs in their patch notes to show what level of play they think they'll impact, and give written explanations of why they made those choices. sure, sometimes those choices are still dumb as fuck, but they make it possible for even a casual player to follow their logic in a way that overwatch never did.

i really think the overwatch devs are uniquely bad among competitive online multiplayer games i've played in terms of making data-driven decisions without understanding their own data, having incoherent and fundamentally misguided balance philosophies, and fundamentally misunderstanding the relationship between pro and casual play.

that said i 100% agree with you and think that amumu is a great example of a character who's perfect where he is. i also think league has a lot of great examples of the inverse, like azir and twisted fate, where their unique abilities make them incredible in pro play and so fucking hype to watch someone like Faker play, while at the same time necessitating their numbers be nerfed into soloq-uselessness so that they can have the thing that makes them unique without breaking pro play in half.

[doberbutts]

Do you or your friends see a difference in household or play behaviors in a dog after mondior or IGP kind of training? My breeder is concerned that once you flip the biting switch you can't really take it back, but obviously there's a whole lot of wonderful protection sport dogs out there who aren't biting random people. I figured I'd ask someone who has had dogs both bitework trained and not bitework trained for comparison. Personally I think it is a beautiful sport and the dogs seem to love it the way I love, say, stage combat or LARP.

Hope you and the beasties are having a good day

Well. No, in the way you're probably thinking. But also yes.

Truthfully I have only taken 2 dogs through any amount of protection sport and both I would still be considered very green in. Fenris is no where near trial ready, after all, partially because I'm deliberately taking it slow and partially because I am very poor and unwilling to throw a large amount of money at seminars or training that I feel may be subpar for what we need- I would rather pay these amounts for training that I can verify is the quality he deserves than chance it on someone fucking up what we've built thus far.

It is my belief that your breeder's concern is valid, and it is something that I warn people about myself especially when dealing with off breeds or with dogs of temperaments not well suited to the work. You are, regardless of what anyone tells you, teaching your dog that biting humans is a perfectly acceptable and even expected behavior depending on the circumstance and behavior pattern. Do understand that this means your dog will see similar contexts and at some point have to make a judgement call. Not every dog makes the right judgement call for the situation.

I'm thinking of a friend whose husband was dying of cancer, and he fell in their house, and as she rushed to help him the dog tried to attack her to protect his owner. This is an extreme case of "worst case scenario"- but ask yourself if that is a scenario you can handle with the levelheadedness she did in order to prevent anyone from being bit. This particular case was a matter of both genetics and training, however the dog in question was not an off breed and in fact was bred with protection in mind.

I'm thinking of a different friend who had border collies show up at club. One day the owner of the border collies was walking through an aisle at a pet store with their dogs, and a man in a puffy winter coat approached to ask them a question. One of the border collies latched onto the man's bicep exactly like how it was trained to, and the other performed a near perfect bark and hold. This person voiced regret of ever having opened that door, and now they have two dogs with recorded bite histories. It is my personal opinion that this is a case of two dogs with temperaments poorly suited to the work more than anything else, however that does not change the undesired outcome.

That being said, I can pet most of the dogs at club without any real concern, though I still keep my hands to myself unless the owners actively tell me to pet and play with their dogs. The few I can't also aren't off breeds, for what it's worth, but in fact are malinois which the sport was more or less designed around. I also don't think the training caused the inability for these specific dogs to socialize with trainers- I think that is a genetic temperament question, and all the training did was give them an outlet for their inherent aggression.

Fenris is a hideously social and friendly doberman. He is best friends with every human at the club and frequently licks the decoys right in the face as he wiggles and jumps on them before they agitate him. He just spent two hours hanging out at the car repair shop yesterday while I was getting my new tires put on. Anyone who stopped to pet him got wiggles and licks and puppy behavior. Anyone who didn't was ignored. While he is a mite too friendly to me, I have not seen any real change to this friendliness or his willingness to accept friendly and neutral strangers despite the decoys telling me that he is really becoming quite a monster in training.

He's also very suspicious, and fairly possessive. I have seen that increase, however at his age it's sort of difficult to determine if that was always going to increase or if the training had anything to do with that. Personally I think it is a mix of both- he was a suspicious and possessive little asshole from the start and now he is learning that there is a time and place for that to really come out of him, so he is more inclined to showing this behavior as he ages through his teenage phase and matures in his training.

For example: we started defense of handler last month, an exercise where the dog heels closely beside the owner and turns its body to watch the decoy waiting for an aggressive move towards the owner. Fenris now watches closely when we are approached by strangers at night while on walks, not acting but simply waiting to see what they might do. This behavior may have come out of him anyway, because even when he was a young puppy he would occasionally give the stink eye to anyone who rushed us (usually panhandlers asking for money in parking lots, but also the occasional person looking for trouble and an easy mark). He barked at a homeless guy who lunged at us on the sidewalk* when we walked past 6 months ago- well before defense of handler. He may have always been inclined to be wary of fast, jerky movements towards us.

That is what a doberman is for. They were never meant to accept suspicious or potentially aggressive strangers, and these sorts of situations are exactly what many dogs would consider suspicious and aggressive behavior. Homeless Guy I think was just high or having some mental episode and not actively dangerous to passersby, but lunging at someone from the shadows is a really stupid way to get bit (if they have a dog) or punched/shot/stabbed (if they don't but think they need to defend themselves). The panhandlers that literally run up to us from across the parking lot- same thing, if someone spots you at a distance and starts running towards you with intent, many times this is going to get read as aggressive behavior. Again, not actually harmful, they're just begging for money. However, how is my dog supposed to know that when the behavior says "I am going to hurt you" to a dog?

For example: we started object guard, where he stands over an object and stops the decoy from snatching it out from under him by biting. Coincidentally, he's also started low rumbling at the other dogs when they're near stuff he likes, and he lays directly on top of these objects and hides them under his legs/body. While I do think the training definitely intensified this behavior, he's always been a bit punky with his stuff and not been keen on sharing. I manage it so we don't have a dog fight, and I have a bunch of dogs that are allergic to conflict anyway so it's a pretty easy situation to work with. All four of my dobermans including the one that had never been in any bitework scenario ever have been somewhat guardy when it comes to high value resources (in fact the only one that never did any bitework also is the only one that started a dog fight over a guarded object (ME, I was the guarded object)), so it is also very possible that this would have developed in him regardless of training.

Funny enough, however, I will also say that Fenris specifically has become exponentially more velcro and cuddly immediately after every protection session. It does something magnificent to the bond between us, and his affection is through the roof when we get back to our bedroom after a long day on the club field.

Creed, my other dog who I took through this type of training, I felt was actually more confident afterwards. He had a lot of reactivity as a teenager and getting him to a club more often seemed to have a significant amount of positive impact on this behavior. I have seen other dogs experience the same. Probably something similar to how my nephew had a lot of PTSD and anxiety immediately after a horrific domestic abuse situation he and his mom had to flee from, and the thing that helped him resolve that was getting him started in martial arts classes. If nothing else, you learn to trust that you can handle it if a situation that makes you feel powerless comes for you a second time, I suppose. I'd be interested to know if that's connected to some behaviors I see from dudes who are obsessed with weapons and fighting, but that's another post in and of itself.

However I was fairly reluctant to move forward with this training with Phoebe, my soft scared girlie, because she had a panic response of "pick a direction and run very fast don't look back" and I was nervous that taking her to protection training would bleed into her panic attacks and instead of running she would hit the end of the leash, realize the flight was not an option, and start biting. And I was not particularly interested in chancing that, because regardless of how scared she was she would choose flight and freeze over fight every time and this made he very safe to be around. My first doberman was a very anxious rescue who was taught that biting is an option when running isn't working, and I ended up having to behaviorally euthanize him because his previous home fucked him up so bad. I want to be clear that this was a result of bad training and worse temperament, but knowing Phoebe's temperament I was unsure if I wanted to chance it with her.

I never did take her to club before her weird GI/liver thing that ultimately killed her, but she ended up loving tug and her confidence did soar once she learned the game. And it did bleed into other areas as well- she was much happier and more confident when out in public even though we only played tug in my living room. If her health hadn't crashed like that, I would have been taking her to mondio with Fenris the first week I had him to see if she liked it and if there was anything in here to play with.

So. A long winded answer to say that yes I have seen the training change behaviors off the field, but probably not in the way you're expecting to hear.

[oh-no-its-bird]

after reading your izuna tobi time travel rambles I can't help but think about them just crashing the middle of a council meeting 😭 everyone is shook, and absolutely flabbergasted and ngl they kind of just.. Want the two to stay? (Well, mostly Tobi's old subordinates/students because they feel partially sad and sentimental and OH MY GOD IS THAT FOURTEEN YEAR OLD TOBIRAMA?!?) And then the psycho Hashirama timeline is just amazinggg I can't stop thinking about it you're actually infecting my brain bro

NO BC IVE BEEN THINKING NONSTOP ABOUT THAT EXACT SCENARIO LATLEY MYSELF !! The brain worms are spreading...

(Cont. From this post for those without context)

Every other time Tobirama and Izuna enter a world where it's modern Konoha, they start taking bets about which one of them died there. Funny bit where Izuna says smthn about how there quote, "aren't nearly enough crazy nightmare trees and brainwashed people for you to have died here" (bc 9 times out of 10 in worlds where Tobirama dies Hashirama loses it to a spectacular degree that leaves a VERY visable mark on Konoha)

Actually, taking that thought, it could be fun if they got dropped into a seemingly normal Konoha only to find out that hey Tobirama did die in this one, but it seems to be the 1 out of 10 that Hashi was able to stay sane

Only nope!! Surprise attack!! He's just really really good at pretending to be normal and when they try to leave he plays his hand, lots of fire and explosions ensue and they just barley escape

Izuna and Tobirama are SO tired of people trying to force them to stay in places, theyve had Madara do it they've had Hashirama do it, maybe they even had alternate versions of eachother do it. They !! Want !! To go !! Home !!!!

Also you can't tell me that seeing a young version of them specifically would hit Madara/Hashi harder than any revived adult version could. They're lowkey the "idealized" versions of their brothers, still small and in need of being protected, not consumed with anger and burdened by the things they've done and seen in the war. They're silly little guys!! And they're slamming on ALL the "Oh god I need to protect my little brother" buttons, it's sooo bad

Anyways, them crashing into a council meeting after quite a few different rounds of dimension hopping. Meaning they really don't give a shit ab destroying anything bc they've already come to the conclusion that it's too late to be worrying ab any potential side effects of fucking with possible time lines.

They're immediatley diving across the table making grabby hands at their friendly ball of interdimensional light as it floats off, trying to go for it as soon as they land before it wanders off and they're left having to hunt for it.

I need you to picture these 2 kids just DIVING across a table of important clan people shouting smthn ab DO NOT TOUCH THAT FUCKING LIGHT

They miss it and it dissapears through a wall rip

Maybe they end up slamming into it trying to catch it for comedy effect actually

Other than just sentimentality there's also definatley a tactical standpoint of trying to get them to stay

That's THE Senju Tobirama, second Hokage, white demon and inventor of a fuck ton of jutsus. And also Izuna, who is much less known here to his (by now used to it in these kinds of world) displeasure

All young and untrained and perfect for grooming into a loyal konoha shinobi, ready to grow into his prime by careful hands who knows exactly what he could become

How much more terrifying could he be, if trained specifically by someone who knows his talents, shown his own research to build off of and given all sorts of modern tools he never had before

And also Izuna is still there and he's so fucking sick of being underestimated rn guys what the fuck he's cool too

Anyways the second Tobirama and Izuna hear "hahaha maybe you should stay a little longer..." they're BOLTING

They've heard that song and dance like 20 times now they know the warning signs and you seem nice but they are NOT risking another 'secret yandere' situation again, goodbye.

Their only saving grace is that respect and sentimentality does win out here in letting them go without too much arguing, no matter how valuable they might be. Got lucky this time around, might not be so lucky the next

[nobodyfamousposts]

Chloe’s Lament: Ripping Apart

Chloe’s attempts to improve her situation…didn’t work out, to say the least.

Mostly because in her mind, improving things for herself had to involve tearing down others to build up herself by comparison. Something she was easily able to do in the previous world when she was the ‘Princess of Paris’ with the power of her father and her social status to push her demands.

Here…she didn’t have that. At all. Which to Chloe’s ever-growing frustration, made her efforts entirely uphill battles.

She didn’t even have the Ladybug Miraculous to either set things right or to use to her advantage. She didn’t know who the new Ladybug or sidekick were, either. And unfortunately for her, her disregard for people unless she needed something immediately meant that she hadn’t paid attention to the old man Hawk Moth was attacking and thus didn’t know where to start looking for the Guardian or the Miracle Box to at least get the Bee again. Even worse, she hadn’t thought to bother with Hawk Moth or his sidekick once they had been stung, meaning she was just as clueless as everyone else was on the villain’s identity, so she couldn’t try to target him for his Miraculous either!

What she did have, however, was future knowledge of events—or at least what she bothered to notice outside of her own activities in the previous timeline. And one in particular stood out the most:

The hat contest.

Dupain-Cheng was still very much a fashion enthusiast despite the changes in this reality. That meant if nothing else, she would still take part in the contest once it came around.

And Chloe knew it would. She even checked to make sure! Even if Adrien despised her, she was still his ‘friend’ as far as Gabriel was concerned. Thus, she was still allowed to visit the Agreste Mansion. Sure, she had to make an appointment and didn’t have as much freedom to go about as she pleased, but she was able to slip away and confirm Gabriel’s intention to hold the contest.

So that meant she already knew what was coming! And with her foreknowledge, she was sure to win!

The plan was simple: recreate the famous feather derby hat for the contest before Marinette could. 

Without the signature this time.

This way, when the would-be designer tried to reveal Chloe as the thief, Chloe would have the upper hand. With no signature to prove Marinette’s claim and more than enough time to build proof that she had created the design first, Chloe would succeed in gaining fame and simultaneously crush Marinette’s dreams of being a professional designer. She would be branded as a cheater and blacklisted from any further design competitions. Gabriel would certainly never trust her again. And Adrien—poor Adrien would obviously need Chloe’s shoulder to cry on once he learned that Miss Perfect Marinette was only using him!

But as it turned out, there were three problems with this plan that Chloe had not accounted for…

Originally, Chloe was able to send Marinette’s hat design sketch to a professional hat maker to bring to life within the deadline.

This time, Chloe had neither the influence nor the funds to get any decent professional to make her design. Her attempts to use her mother’s channels didn’t work either when she couldn’t replicate the original design for them to use as a base.

“They’re feathers! What’s so complicated about it?!”

She also didn’t have the original sketch this go around.

And her less than eloquent efforts to explain the appearance, make, or materials of the desired hat to the interns only got everyone involved both frustrated enough to set off an argument that quickly got her mother’s attention.

Audrey Bourgeois was still very much the famed Style Queen and had no patience for Chloe or her tantrums. And without Andre’s position as Mayor or hotel owner to at least make him a business associate that could exert influence, it wasn’t like Chloe was in a position to make demands. And with only so much time to Paris Fashion Week and not to mention the other shows in the meantime, Audrey didn’t have the people or the patience to spare.

Audrey promptly told her to leave the workers alone unless she had something revolutionary. And despite her insistence to the contrary, a half-formed idea of a hat made with feathers of all things did not count.

As such, there was no one Chloe could get to make the hat for her.

This meant that if she wanted to create this hat and crush Marinette, she would have to make it herself.

Which led to the second problem with Chloe’s plan: for all that she prided herself in knowing and wearing fashion, she had no idea how to actually make it.

Sure, Chloe had a head start on the contest, but that was a very limited advantage for someone with little to no experience in sewing and an unwillingness to learn. Instead of taking the time to plot out a process, figure appropriate fabric, and learn the steps to make a hat, Chloe decided to jump into trying to just make the hat from her memory.

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

As such, by the time the competition actually started, what Chloe had was not so much a hat as…

“What is that? A gaudy balloon?”

“It looks like someone tarred and feathered a plastic bag.”

“I thought it was a deflated football?”

Yeah…that.

It was a sad-looking thing that could hardly be called a hat. Sunken and lumpy with a few feathers sticking out in odd directions. Chloe’s attempts to make her hat by hand resulted in a complete mess, and she had only a number of burns from the hot glue gun and bandages over her fingers from pricking herself to show for it.

“It’s…definitely unique.” Bustier said, clearly trying to be supportive.

Okay. Fine. So her hat was a failure. But she had wasted no effort in building proof that it at least was solely her creation. She could at least still get Marinette on theft of the idea. Maybe she could even claim sabotage if she spins it well enough!

And maybe she could have, except that there was still the final problem with her plan…

She had been assuming all this time that Marinette would be entering the contest with the same hat as before. That she would experience the same lack of inspiration and go to the same place and thus gain the same idea to enter into the contest.

All of which were very vital steps that Marinette would have to go through to reach the desired outcome Chloe had intended to achieve. All were steps that Chloe could not ensure Marinette would follow.

…all were steps which would be completely pointless when Marinette didn’t even compete.

“Wait—what is she doing in the stands?!” Chloe demanded, pointing to Marinette in outrage.

Marinette, for her part, had been sitting in the stands with a notebook in hand and surveying the various entries. She had been taking notes or drawing or who knew what until she looked up in confusion at the yelling.

“Chill out, Chloe. It’s an open contest.” Nino said, frowning at her.

“Yeah. People are allowed to watch.” Alix added.

“No!” Chloe shook her head furiously. She spun on Marinette. “I mean why are you THERE instead of HERE? It’s a hat competition! Aren’t you supposed to be competing?! Where is your entry?!” She demanded.

Marinette blinked in surprise.

“Well, I’m not competing. I’m just here to cheer the others on. And maybe observe. The officials said it was okay.”

And just like that, all of Chloe’s less than carefully laid plans were thrown out the window.

“What do you MEAN you’re not competing?!”

Because Marinette HAD to be competing! That was the entire point of Chloe even wasting her time with this stupid contest!

Marinette shook her head. “I’m friends with Adrien, and he’s the son of the man holding the contest. And the one who will be modeling the hat. While I don’t doubt Mr. Agreste would be impartial, there are rules against this sort of thing for a reason. It would reflect poorly on his integrity. And I don’t want people to question anything I create because of any potential bias.”

But…

That…

That was—!

“Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!”

What was even the point of having connections if you didn’t use them? What kind of socialite was Dupain-Cheng supposed to be, anyway?! It was like she didn’t even know anything!

Marinette was an idiot! She had this amazing position and the world at her fingertips and she couldn’t even use it right!

Chloe stormed out of the auditorium, ignoring the voices and attempts to call her back.

It was…

That was so…

It wasn’t fair!

Marinette was just being lazy! Not using her position or appreciating what it gives her! Not doing anything to prove herself to anyone and show just why she deserved her role! And yet everyone just loved her anyway!

And that…that was the worst part!

Previously, Chloe had to fight tooth and nail just to get people to so much as acknowledge her greatness. She had stayed on top of trends, learned how to navigate the world of the elite, and dealt with anyone and everyone to show why she was not one to cross. She showed why being the “Mayor’s Daughter” was such a pivotal role and why she most deserved it. She had learned to take advantage of any mistake to use to her own ends and end up on top. From Daughter of the Mayor to Queen Bee to Miracle Queen, Chloe had earned her kingdom.

And yet Marinette Dupain-Cheng…she wasn’t doing any of that! She was rich and didn’t use it. She had the power of the Mayor’s Daughter and she didn’t defend it.

She…she was doing nothing and people loved her.

It wasn’t fair!

It wasn’t FAIR!

It wasn’t fair it wasn’t fair it wasn’t fair it wasn’t fair 

IT WASN’T—

“Chloe?”

Chloe jerked up at the voice and immediately wiped her eyes.

Bad enough her plan had been such a failure, she didn’t need people knowing she was crying over it, too. She had nothing left in this world but her dignity. She couldn’t be seen as weak to anyone.

Even if it was Bustier.

“Chloe, I’m sorry. Were you upset?” The teacher asked as she approached cautiously.

“No.” She denied immediately. Because she wasn’t upset! That would suggest her plans had gone completely wrong. And they hadn’t! Because she hadn’t lost yet! She could still find some way to turn things around!

“Chloe, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Chloe refused to look at her.

It wasn’t like Bustier could understand. It was more than just the hat. It was more than a single contest. How could she even begin to explain it all? Everything she’d had? Everything she’d lost?

Bustier—in true ignorance, smiled kindly and rested a hand on Chloe’s shoulder.

“Your hat was your first attempt, wasn’t it? It clearly had a lot of effort put into it.” She said, soothingly. “I think I could see what you were trying to do with the design. You must have felt rushed with the limited time to work with.”

The words didn’t help. They did the exact opposite of help. Because Chloe had known the contest was coming. She’d had more time than anyone to put her entry together. And she still failed.

“With a bit more practice, it would have been a very beautiful hat. I’m sure it would have won.”

It would have won. In another world, it did win. She hadn’t expected it to be so hard to put a hat together. Why was it so hard?

“Oh! Here’s an idea!”

Chloe blinked as Bustier clapped her hands together, smiling brightly at the sudden thought.

“If you’re interested in fashion, maybe we can ask Marinette can help you?” 

And.

Chloe.

Froze.

“It’s hard when you’re first starting out and trying something new—”

It was like she was underwater. Bustier’s words washed over her, but she could barely hear them. Just sound. Just noise. Somewhere above her but its meaning unable to reach her.

“—maybe with a bit of guidance, you can make your hat even better—”

It was like she was falling. No ground beneath her—no stability. Free falling, but fully aware of her own weight dragging her ever downward, not knowing just how far the hole went…

Chloe gripped her creation harshly. Her ugly, pathetic imitation of a masterpiece that even her mother had praised.

“—Marinette loves fashion and knows a lot—”

Marinette must have cheated. There was no way she could do something like that in a few hours without help!

Neither of them noticed as the seams began to unravel and tear in the force of Chloe’s hold.

“—perhaps what you need is a mentor?”

Stretch.

“—volunteer to tutor you—”

Pull.

“—very talented—”

Unraveling.

“—a lot of love to give—”

Unraveling apart.

“—always willing to lend a hand—”

Just like her world.

“—I’m sure she’d be happy to help you improve—”

Just like her life.

“—don’t we try to ask her? I can even go with you and—”

Until it all ripped apart—

“SHUT UP!”

Bustier jerked back in shock at the outburst. She was actually acting as though Chloe had hit her or something—which was ridiculous! Because Chloe was the one in pain right now and nobody would see or try to help her!

“I’m sick of hearing about Dupain-Cheng and how special she is! I don’t need her help! I don’t need anything from her!”

Her teacher frowned, looking confused. Like she didn’t understand. Because she couldn’t see it.

No one could see it!

“Chloe, what are you—”

“She’s a thief!” Chloe yelled. “She knows what she’s doing! I’ll bet she planned this! She must have!”

“What are you talking about?”

She stomped her foot in rage. “This isn’t hers! None of this is hers! She only has it this good because she stole it from me first!”

“Chloe, you’re not making any sense!”

“I didn’t Wish big enough the first time! Why did I even bother with taking everything from her? I should have just Wished for her to disappear!”

“Chloe!”

But she just stormed away.

Out of the hall. Out of the building. Out of the school altogether.

But no amount of walking would take her out of this life she’d Wished herself in to.

All she left behind were the torn remains of an amateurish hat and fragments of her idealized hopes that were just as broken as her plan for revenge.

The only witnesses were her own teacher.

…and a classmate who had seen the whole thing.

[aldana-brillantina]

HERO OF MY OWN STORY, A VILLAIN IN OTHERS'.

Nobody is good in Arcane(maybe Ekko). If you watch the show you can take a side depending on who you empathize with the most or who you consider their reasons to be good and justifiable to a certain point. This is a story of sides, of perspectives.

Caitlyn is a good person, who has never had anything bad happen to her and lives in a perfect world where her city is an example of progress, she is a person raised in a peaceful environment and she never had the need to be bad or wish evil. That makes her naive, like a baby. That makes her even somewhat insensitive in very specific occasions like when she sees a reality that is not hers (You don't have parents? You're wrong) but it also makes her feel empathy because she doesn't conceive that someone can live like garbage (when she hugs that man addicted to shimmer, when she criticizes her mother and the council for the situation in undercity). But what Jinx generates is what I want to discuss. Before her encounter with her, Cait had never been in danger and bad things classified as horror movies had happened to her, that was in the past. That's when you start to think, she was good because she never had or felt the need to be anything else. Hate can warp a person, and someone like Cait who never felt it, really felt it, well. She's still a person.I think bad situations are the ones that really bring out some hard truths about a person. But also, do we all process trauma the same way? No, does that justify any wrong you do? No, it makes it understandable.I think people are very unfair to Cait, Jinx, Vi, and even Jayce. I think it's because we all judge them from one reality, our own. But they have many.

If we look at it from Piltover's perspective, the Enforcers are heroes, people who protect them from those who want to harm them and risk their lives all the time, that it is thanks to them that they sleep peacefully in their beds and that it is thanks to the council and their good management that everyone has what they need to live. If I grew up under that reality, the Zaunites are wild animals, less than them.Jayce did not belong to the elite in the beginning of the series, he really worked hard to reach the position he is in and he believes that with enough dedication one can achieve their dreams. That is not Viktor's reality, because no matter how hard he tries or how much effort he puts into it, he is a Zaunite and people will always look down on him. That is when two realities collide without letting the other be a lie. Because Jayce really tried hard and Viktor is still less.

Jinx is a killer, a monster in Piltover, the bogeyman who took the city of progress out of peace and balance. She is Silco's attack dog, his pet for most of Zaun. She is the daughter of her boss, for Sevika. His daughter, the representation of the city he always wanted and his greatest weakness for Silco. But I think the worst thing is that she is a product of a violent environment, an environment that never saw any other way to survive than by stealing like rats or kicking others, and this was Piltover's fault. How much of the damage she does is justified if we look at it from the Zaun perspective?

For Undercity, Zaun, Piltover's live off their blood and beat them in the streets since before Silco. How many of them lost families, friends and lovers at their hands? The protests are the result of rage, pain and hunger. My dad said that if there's one thing you never forget it's hunger, guys, this is a city that lives hungry and on crumbs. No, Enforcers are not heroes, they're boogeymen and it's been a reality for, if my calculations are correct, over 150 years (I'm guessing a bit here, taking into account Vi's birth date and Piltover's founding in the lore). So the Zaunite mentality is different, like, you slaughter us for a few when you slowly killed thousands over all these years? It's not right because I'm sure there are innocent people in Topside who live in ignorance of the cost of all the pleasures they enjoy and probably see them even more as animals after these "senseless" attacks. But this makes a lot of sense to them. And Caitlin along with Mel's mom, how many lives will they take, how many mothers? She would be someone else's Jinx.

I remember Silco, in his meeting to remind the chemis of their place, mentioned the mines and how they all breathed shitty air and did they remember it. They don't look old, they started young. Vander and Silco met there, young. Because, here I am playing devil's advocate, Silco despite being a shitty person did not invent child labor or all evil as some of us like to believe, he is a product and he grew up with it, it is normal for him. And yes, at some point, even before he died, he wanted something more, believed he deserved something more when many people simply continued to think they belong under the boot of topside. But he also poisoned his people and did not change the reality for younger generations, he only made it harder for them to prosper. Because in his reality, people who want to survive will do so at all costs, for him only the one who manages to reinvent himself deserves to remain standing, because that's what he did to live. Swim or you sink, there's no other option.

And isn't that the reason why Ekko and his community are still alive? They reinvented themselves, but by lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down. And that's their reality. They didn't need to leave anyone behind because they all contributed to the boat instead of swimming individually.

People who work for Silco, do they have families? Children, siblings. When you hurt someone, regardless of whether they're bad or good, it's someone's brother, someone's child, someone's friend. Someone always gets hurt, directly or indirectly. The Firelights are the good guys, probably the most well-intentioned organization in the series. That doesn't change that how much they screw up those Silco jobs (for good reason) they put other people in danger who may have children or family and they'll think, even if they're wrong, that they're the bad guys.

But did Silco have Vander and were leaders in their own movement for independence? Well, it didn't work out and they lost everything. That formed Silco. What would Ekko do if he lost everything? Even though he's done it once, can he do it again?

That's the litmus test for every character, who you are, what's left, after a great loss. You become like Jinx or Cait, who get lost in their grief and punish people regardless of whether they're responsible or not. Or like Ekko, who like a tree, resists blows because his roots are stronger.