#Than as anything anyone serious would think

[straylightdream]

midnight drives

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: choi seungcheol x curvyf.reader

↳ late night drives lead to desperate kisses with your sister’s ex boyfriend.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: friends to lovers?? non idol au

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, body insecurity, mentions of possible emotional cheating, smut warning below the cut.

an: I might go back and edit this one more time later.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: car sex, protected sex, so much kissing, marking, and biting while kissing. seungcheol is obsessed with kissing the mc neck.

It was one of those days Seungcheol actively wanted to quit his job. He was in the office until nearly midnight working on a project that was due by midnight. Anything that could go wrong did. He honestly just wanted to see you. He just wanted to shut his brain off and not think about work any longer. Seungcheol really didn’t want to sit silently in the car next to you as you just scrolled through your phone. He stared at you wishing he could kiss you again. You had kissed the other night for the first time when you were both drunk. Your kiss you shared that night for some reason was all he could think about. Your lips seemed to take up every thought in his mind. Even though you said that you should act like nothing had ever happened.

“Do you really regret that night?” he asked, breaking the screaming silence.

His question caught you surprise. Locking your phone you looked over at Seungcheol who has a serious look painted across his face. You weren’t sure what you should say, because your drunken kiss that night had left you with a feeling of butterflies. But you didn’t want to admit that you had felt anything. Because you knew you were really good friends and you didn’t want to ruin your friendship. Your sister also added a layer of complication to this.

“You know Hayley thinks it’s weird we’re still friends,” you said in an attempt to change the subject but also let him know why you really felt conflicted about everything. Hayley was your older sister who had dated Seungcheol first. She was the reason you and Seungcheol became friends. They dated in high school and during college.

He rolled his eyes at the fact that Hayley and him had been broken up for almost two years and yet you didn’t see him as anything other than your sister’s ex. A sigh passed his lips, “I get she’s your sister and all but why are you letting her get in the way of you being happy?”

Your head tilted slightly as you were trying to process what Seungcheol had just said to you. You liked Seungcheol a lot more than you were willing to admit and that honestly scared you to no end. You weren't really ever the girl that was looking for a relationship. You were independent and didn’t need anyone to make you happy. But he was managing to change things without really trying.

“How do you know that being with you would make me happy?” You stared at him wondering what he was going to say to you.

“Because just being around you makes me happy. You’re the only one I want to see even after having the worst day at work. You’re the only person who can make me smile even when I’m upset.” he couldn’t believe he was basically confessing how he had felt for you for almost two years.

“Didn’t my sister make you happy?” You asked, twisting in your seat so you’re looking straight at him.

He shook his head, “I had such a big crush on you, she honestly didn’t compare.” Your heart-rate picked up and you felt butterflies in your stomach at everything he was saying. How do you even respond to that statement? There was no way you could of know that the whole time he was dating your sister that he wanted you.

“Cheol,” you paused because you didn’t know what you should say to him.

He reached over and rested his large hand on your flushed cheek and stared into your eyes. “I’m gonna kiss you again,” you smiled instantly. Leaning over the center console he roughly connected his lips to yours. He moved his lips against yours as you tangled your fingers in his hair. He was kissing you as if he was trying to prove a point. Your lips moved against each other as if you needed each other to breathe. He pulled his lips away from yours and stared into your eyes. Your body felt warm suddenly. You just stare at him wishing he would kiss you again.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, really hoping you would say no.

“No,” you whispered.

He smiled as he moved his lips to your jaw and started kissing down to your neck, and occasionally licking and nipping at the sensitive skin on your neck. You knew at the rate you’re going you were definitely going to have to cover up some marks on your neck tomorrow. A moan passed your lips as he slightly moved your sweater off your shoulder so he could kiss your collarbone and the top of your shoulder.

The way he was kissing you made you want to rip his clothes off. He was getting you so turned on without really even trying. You could spend hours kissing him like this. If kissing was an Olympic sport Seungcheol would be a gold medalist.

“What’s going to happen here?” You asked as he continued to kiss your neck. Earning another moan from you.

In-between kisses he managed to say, “whatever you want to happen can happen.”

You closed your eyes enjoying the feeling of his lips ghosting across your skin. Nobody has ever kissed you like this. “The way you’re kissing me I feel like you have an idea of what you want to happen.”

He smiled against your neck before lightly biting down, “I’m not asking you to do anything. I’m just enjoying that I actually get to kiss you like I’ve always wanted too.”

Tangling your fingers in his hair you held him closer to you. You knew you probably shouldn’t sleep together. It's hard to tell your body that when you’re turned on. You didn’t know if you could walk away from this.

“If you keep up what you’re doing I can’t promise this will end with just kissing,” you said, rolling you head back in pure pleasure.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” he said, pulling his lips away from your neck.

“You have me so turned on right now kissing isn’t going to be enough,” you sighed, reaching over and resting your hand against his cheek.

“You think you’re turned on, imagine being me,” he said looking down at his erection that was straining against his dress pants.

“Thank god you have tinted windows in the backseat, and it's dark back there,” you said looking behind into the backseat.

Seungcheol stared at you with a confused look on his face, not sure what you meant, “what?”

“It means when we have sex in the backseat of your car no one will see,” you smirked before pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss.

“Oh?”

You nod with a smile on your face, “Seungcheol I just want you to know I’m not exactly comfortable in my skin. I’m not a size two like Hayley. I have a soft body, there’s quite a difference in our bodies.”

He pushed his eyes together as he stared at you confused. He couldn’t believe that you didn’t realize how sexy he found you, “baby do you not realize at all the pool parties we used to have I would have to constantly stop myself from staring at you.” He couldn’t believe he was admitting to you that he used to stare at. Back in the day he couldn’t keep his eyes to himself. “I used to fantasize about you,” he said feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Seriously?” Suddenly you feel more confident.

“Yeah.”

Gnawing at your bottom lip you tried to hide the huge grin that wanted to form.

“The more you talk the more you seem to be turning me on.” You crawled over the center console and made quick work of shimming your legging and undies off while Seungcheol jumped out of the front seat and quickly opened the door and got into the back seat next to you. He made quick work of getting pants unbuttoned and pushed down enough to free himself. Once you were naked from the waist down you crawled toward Seungcheol who was sitting there with his pants pushed down to his knees and his erection standing proud as he bit his bottom lips staring at you. From the beginning when you first met him you always thought he was so hot, but the sight of him sitting there with his hard cock on display made your mouth water.

“I wish we could get all your clothes off,” he said as you straddled his thighs.

“Maybe next time,” you smiled before pressing your lips to his. You reached down and started unbuttoning his light blue dress shirt. You wanted to see his abs and run your fingers over them. “Do you have a condom?” You asked, reaching down and slowly started stroking him causing him to groan. You couldn’t believe how hard he got just from your makeout session in the front seat.

He nodded, “there’s one in the center console.”

Reaching behind to the center console and grabbed the row of three condoms. You tore the foil open with your teeth and made quick work of rolling the condom down his hardened length. Lifting up you hovered your body over his erections. A smile spreads across your lips as he lined himself up.

“I can’t lie, I've waited for this moment since I met you,” he said before pressing his lips to your jaw for another kiss.

“Show me what you got then,” you slowly lowered yours down on him and let out a moan.

You moved together as you tried to keep a steady pace, your hands rested on his shoulders as his lips continued to kiss your neck roughly.

“Oh my,” you moaned.

You rolled your hips riding him. Seungcheol kept his large hands glued to your hips as he tried to help you keep a good pace.

“Cheol,” you sighed. “I need you to use your fingers baby.”

He nodded his head and he moved one of his hands for your soft waist down to your sensitive clit. He slowly dragged his finger in a circle and received a positive moan from you.

“That feels so good,” you say as she leaned forward connecting your lips to Seungcheol’s.

You rode him a little faster hoping to push yourself over the edge as he dragged his finger against your clit in messy circles. Your body feels like a live wire as you’re desperately close to the edge. Rolling your head back in pleasure, Seungcheol connected his lips to your neck again and started kissing his way up. This man is obsessed with your neck and you won’t ever complain about it. You couldn’t believe how good he was in bed. This man seemed to know all the right things to do.

“Are you close?” he asked feeling himself getting close to the edge.

All you can do is moan and whimper his name. You weren’t even sure you could form proper words.

He started thrusting his hips upwards and every time your hips met Seungcheol received a moan from you letting him know that you were on the brink of falling apart. He keeps thrusting up until he feels your walls start to clench around him. Throwing your head back with a loud moan. You see stars and feel like you’re on the verge of blacking out as your high hits you like a hurricane.

He grabbed your hips and got a few more thrust in when he hit his high. You were breathing heavily as you slumped forward against Seungcheol. He leaned his head against the headrest behind him. His mind felt numb as he tried to process the intense sex you just had.

Slowly you move off of Seungcheol’s lap and lean with your back against the door and your feet resting on his lap. Your breathing had finally gotten steady and you stared at Seungcheol who had his eyes closed and a smile on his face as his breathing was a little heavy.

“That was better then I ever expected,” he sighed with a smirk as he had his head still leaning back.

“You had low expectations for me?” You pushed your eyebrows together, kind of offended by his comment.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he said playfully, hitting your leg. You rolled your eyes at him and just shook your head. He didn’t say anything, he just grabbed your foot that was in your lap and slowly started massaging it.

“Seungcheol what happens now?” Your mind was starting to over think things after what just happened.

“Well I was hoping we could maybe do this somewhere other than the backseat of a car,” he said with a little laugh. This wasn’t the most idle location for your first time having sex together.

“Okay cool,” you said realizing he saw you only as fuck buddy. You weren’t sure you could handle only being a hookup buddy with him.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, setting down your foot. He slowly reached over and put his hand on your soft cheek causing you to look at him.

“Seungcheol I like you a lot and I can’t be just your fuck buddy,” you said bluntly.

He tilted his head to the side and gave you a confused look. “Is that what you think this is?” You didn’t say anything, you just stared at him. “I fully intend on taking you out on a date. I don’t expect only sex from you. I would like to take you out as well. The sex is just an extremely nice bonus,” he smiled.

“Oh I see.”

“Why don’t we get dressed and go inside and have sex where we aren’t still dressed?” He asked with a smirk.

“Seriously?” You laughed.

“Dead serious,” he said lifting his hips so he could get his pants up.

“Alright,” you said, reaching on the floor and grabbing your leggings.

You quickly got dressed and hopped out of his car. You looked over at each other and laughed a little as Seungcheol worked on straightening out his pants. He was already getting hard again and just the thought of round two. You couldn’t wait to explore his body and fully see him naked.

Quickly you opened the door and you both walked inside. The second the front door was closed Seungcheol pinned you against the wall and started kissing you. His lips roughly moved down your jaw towards your sensitive neck. Earning another moan from you.

You moved your hands up and down his back and held him close to you as your lips moved together quickly. He placed his strong thigh between her legs. Instantly grinding your cloth cover pussy against his tone thigh.

A gasp passed your lips as he lightly bit your neck. Surely leaving another mark behind. He pulled away from you and smirked. His hands moved down and grabbed the bottom of your sweater and quickly worked to remove it. He bit his bottom lip as you worked on unbuttoning his shirt again.

Running your hands down his toned abs and closing the distance between you crashing your lips together again. His hands started roughly roaming your torso and moved up to your bra covered breast.

“Wow.” Everything instantly feels like it’s halted and your heart starts racing. Both of you froze completely, realizing you’ve been caught. The worst possible person just walked into the room.

“Fuck,” Seungcheol groaned knowing that voice all too well. He can tell by the look on your face that you’re panicking.

You moved Seungcheol's arm and walked towards your sister who was standing in the living room with a shocked look on her face.

“I’m so sorry,” you said feeling extremely guilty about the fact you had just had sex with your sister's ex. It doesn’t help that you were about to do it again.

“This is really awkward,” your sister said with a little laugh. “Hey Seungcheol,” she said to him as he awkwardly sat down on the couch trying to adjust the erection.

“Hey Hayley,” he said with a really awkward smile.

“So you guys are hooking up,” she said leaning against the wall.

“It’s complicated,” you sighed.

“Well I’m gonna go back to my room to my boyfriend and attempt to bleach my brain,” she said with a laugh.

“Wait Hayley are you mad at me?” You asked reaching for your sister.

She shook her head, “No, Seungcheol and I broke up like three years ago. I’ve been with Henry for two years. I don’t care that you and Cheol are hooking up. Just do me a favor and be safe,” she smiled.

“Okay thank you.”

“Also do it in your room not the damn living room,” she said as she walked down the hall.

The second you heard your sister’s door close you looked over at Seungcheol who was holding a throw pillow over his erection.

“Off to my room,” you said signaling for him to follow you. You made your way to your room that was across from Hayley’s room. It was a room that Seungcheol used to be very familiar with and all the sudden he became very aware of how weird the situation with you and him is.

“Is this weird to you?” he asked, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t help but be a little confused by his statement.

“I mean that I used to sleep with Hayley?”

You shrugged, “I mean kind of, but I try not to think about my sister having sex.”

He let out a little laugh. There is something about you that he’s always found so charming. From the very beginning you two have always gotten along really well.

You sat down next to him and you roughly connected your lips together. He tangled his fingers in your locks. You rested your hand on Seungcheol’s thigh and slowly massaged it as your lips moved together. Pulling away from each other and resting your noses together and you both couldn’t help but smile.

“I need you naked,” his voice is raspy with need. His deep voice gives you butterflies with little to no effort. He stood up and put his hand out for you to take. You stood a foot away from him and he bent down sitting on his knees in front of you. You could get used to seeing him looking at you like this. He reaches for the top of your leggings and moves them slowly down your soft thighs. He sprinkled kisses across the exposed skin on your soft thighs. He finished pulling your leggings off and looked up at you and gave you a love sick smile. Reaching behind you pulled your bra off leaving you only in your cheeky panties. He licked his lips and sat back on his hunches and slowly took off your final layer of clothing.

Standing there completely naked in front of basically still dressed Seungcheol. You became extremely aware of the fact that you were not a skinny girl. You have a soft body and curves and they are on full display. He could sense you were over thinking everything so he stood up and pressed his lips to yours for a sweet kiss. Reaching between you, you worked on unbuttoning his dress pants. He stepped back from you and kicked his shoes off and got his dress pants and boxers off quickly. You both stood there both completely naked and staring at each other.

“I can’t get over how beautiful you are,” he said, reaching his hand up and resting it on your cheek.

You crawled back on your bed and he followed. You laid back on your pillows waiting for him. Hovering over you he quickly attached his lips to yours. He kissed like he needs you to breathe. As if you are the air in his lungs. He rolled his naked body against yours trying to get some friction for some foreplay.

“Condoms are in the nightstand,” you said as he started kissing his way down your jaw. The feeling of his lips against your skin is something you don’t think you’ll ever get over. Pulling away from you long enough to grab a condom. Tearing the foil packet with his teeth. Slowly sliding the rubber down his already hard length. Spreading your legs you give him full access to your body. He lined his length up with your sopping entrance. You’re still wet from the first time he made you cum in his car.

“Cheol,” you moan, attempting to keep quiet. He rolled his hips quickly into yours as you held onto him for what felt like dear life.

“You feel so good,” he groans. Reaching up your fingers in his hair holding him close to you. Leaning forward you connected your lips to his for a rough kiss. You pulled away biting his bottom lips causing him to smirk. He loved that you were being more bold. He paused for a moment and grabbed one of your legs, throwing it over his hip before he started moving at a quick pass.

“Fuck,” you moan at the new position he was hitting. There was no way you could last very long at the angle he was hitting over and over again. “Cheol…I’m so close,” another moan passed your lips.

“Go ahead and cum for me,” he smiled before kissing your neck again. He kissed his way up the sensitive skin of your neck occasionally leaving love bites. He reached up and laced his finger with one of your hands. He wanted to touch you in every way possible as he got closer and closer to the edge.

A white hot wave washes over you. Your orgasm hits you like a brick wall. Your walls contract around Seungcheol as he’s chasing his own high. It only took a few sloppy thrust before Seungcheol cums moaning your name. You laid there with Seungcheol on top of you for a long moment. He’s still snug inside you. You close your eyes trying to catch your breath. He slowly rolled off you and sighed.

“So how does dinner sound tomorrow night?” he asked, causing you to laugh.

“Tomorrow night sounds perfect,” you said cuddling next to him.

[cherie-doll]

Hey Cherie!! It’s been so long hehe I hope you’re well 💖

Can I request a How the COD men reacts when their s/o was called a nasty name like ‘stupid cunt’? Once again projecting myself a bit here, I always regret being stunned and not punching that idiot in the face 🙂‍↕️🫠

Hope you stay happy and blithe and healthy ✨✨

May you forever stay cheerful as well, my beloved <3

Speech like this just comes off as extremely repulsive and obscene to me and I feel deeply for anyone who's had to deal with this. I won't go into detail but just know whoever is reading that it deals with this sort of theme and please just scroll or avoid if you want.

𓏴𓏴 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves

Price

He does not let that fly in this base

Doesn't care if he gets called prude or mocked for not allowing it, he'd rather there be respect

Basic decency is something that is quite literally the bare minimum for soldiers

No way will he let you be dragged around with that filthy speech especially not when you're his s/o

He lets you know he'd gladly deal with it himself but you manage and tell him you'd like to take care of it

Ghost

He's not foreign to vulgar words or foul language but he isn't okay with it when it's used to degrade someone

He's heard it in public before but never has it been directed to you, seriously what was that guy thinking? That he could just say it in passing to you on the street and walk away like it was nothing?

Maybe he hadn't seen your tall masked boyfriend until he stopped and turned, heading to them and the look on their face

Eyes as big as saucers as Simon planned to rearrange their face

Soap

Quick, fiery temper strikes faster than a cobra

He's at their neck in an instant, trapping them in a death grip and staring daggers into them

He doesn't care that people are staring or that he could get the police called because he's shouting threats

And his anger won't subside afterwards, it leaves a stale feeling that has him crossing his arms and serious for the rest of the day

It had gotten him all riled up for the rest of the day that he's on the lookout for anyone else looking to insult you

Gaz

You've almost never seen Kyle get mad

Oh but he was furious, fire raging within him, knowing he was really about to do something when his jaw set hard and he went real silent

He didn't make a commotion, didn't shout or yell, just silently made his way over and took care of the problem

You didn't get to see what he did to the guy because he somehow made sure you didn't, and he wouldn't tell you either when you asked

Instead choosing to distract you with something else

Roach

He's not a fan of foul language and hates hearing it used even more but being around others so much he can't really avoid it

But the sentence that some idiot had the audacity to say to your face shocked him

How could they?

How much hatred could be within them that they're letting such words carelessly slip from their tongue?

He's worried about how you're feeling more than anything so he'll take you away before anything else could happen because he doesn't want you to show it hurt

Alejandro

Marking their grave as we speak

Don't be surprised if you see him already loading a gun

Oh boy, it's gonna be difficult to get him to calm down

He's cursing and throwing profanities much worse to the other person that they're already backing away fearing for their life

It would actually weigh down on him for a while and will get raging mad whenever he remembers

Rudy

Covering your ears immediately and glaring at the person who said that to you

He motions for someone else to take care of them while he asks if you're okay

Probably doesn't matter if you say yes or no, he focuses on not letting you dwell on those words

You're not those things and never will be, such words shouldn't be said to anyone else

And what do they know? He's shaking his head and sighing, doesn't know what to do with the anger

Phillip Graves

Yeah he allows cursing, hell he curses up a storm himself but this??

This is just unacceptable

This is the lowest form of using language incorrectly, the use of such words is as sickening as rotten food, can't imagine how much worse you would feel when it's said to your face

He's made sure to instill manners in his Shadows and he'll even send one home no matter how useful or great their skills are, but not everyone has had that great education and will freely no- carelessly use their speech for worse

Getting ready to drop a bomb on them or plan a quiet murder

[natlovesls2]

It Isn't Over

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: small amount of angst, minimal swearing, no use of y/n, short and honestly not that good

*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 900

*ੈ✩‧₊˚summary: Lando regrets the everything that has happened between you. Part two to this: part one

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚

Lando had silently hoped your Instagram stories only served to make him jealous. Perhaps you simply wanted to show him what he had lost– of course that had been nothing but wishful thinking, having heard from a mutual friend that you were indeed seeing some guy. He stood at the door of your apartment, hand slightly raised as he debated whether he should knock or not.

“Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to knock?” the sound of your voice shaking him out of his thoughts. 

He hadn’t seen you in months, you looked as radiant as ever, “I miss you,” he blurted out, voice slightly shaky as he reached a hand out towards you,“I made a mistake, a big one, I know I did. I lie awake every night thinking about it.”

He noticed your hesitance, he wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to reading people despite what you thought of him. “Why don’t you come in, have something to drink,” you sighed, digging through your purse, attempting to find your keys. 

“Thank you,” he said softly, watching as you opened the door to your apartment, letting him in and closing the door behind you. He scanned the living room for any sign of your moving on, perhaps a coat left by your new lover or a picture of a sentimental moment hanging on the wall, but he found none. Instead he was greeted by the same living room he had come to know during the duration of your complicated friendship. 

“I guess we have a lot to talk about,” you led him to your kitchen, hand shaking as you poured him a glass of water, “do you want anything else to drink?” he shook his head, taking a sip of water. 

“I don’t know where to start,” he admits, nervously running a hand through his hair. He was nervous, something he had never been around you. Lando had always been a confident person, especially around you, this was new. “Are you seeing anyone?” he asks. 

“What?” you were confused by the sudden question, it hadn’t been what you expected him to say, far from it. There wasn’t anything that could have come out of his mouth that would have been expected but this was certainly one of the least possible things you would expect. In fact, maybe, an apology would have been more appropriate than whatever he intended with that question. 

“I think I’m in love with you, and if you’re seeing someone then it complicates things. I saw that guy on your instagram– but that doesn’t change how I feel,” he rambled out a confession, burying his face in his hands, tugging at his hair. 

“You think?”

“I am, I am so in love with you. And I made the worst mistake of my life, I know that. I just need another chance,” he said, desperately pleading with you, his tone the most serious you had ever heard from him. It hurt you, it hurt to know that it had taken him years to realize this. His eyes never leaving your face, hoping to find any sort of reaction that would reveal that your feelings for him hadn’t changed despite his foul treatment. 

“Lando…” you started. He hated the way you said his name, how soft your voice still sounded despite the evident pain. “You hurt me in many ways. It was as if you saw me as less than human, just something to satisfy whatever needs you had,” you felt tears start to well up in your eyes, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep calm. “And now you show up at my front door claiming to be in love with me? I find it all hard to believe.”

You remember one night that had been particularly hurtful– the night of your birthday. Lando had called you earlier that day, inviting himself over to your apartment. You had wishfully thought that he had remembered your birthday, despite the fact that he had yet to acknowledge it. When he had finally arrived that night you were not greeted with the words “Happy Birthday”. Instead he pushed his way into your home, kissing you and whispering against your skin about how much he needed you. It wasn’t until a week later that he had even noticed that your birthday had passed. So to say that you couldn’t believe Lando had truly changed was an understatement, but even so, you couldn’t bring yourself to forget about your feelings towards him. 

“I’m not asking you to believe me. I'm asking you to give me another chance– an opportunity to prove to you that what I feel for you is real, that I truly do love you,” Lando took a step closer, his hand reaching out to brush away a stubborn tear that had made its way past the threshold of your eyes. 

“One chance,” you whispered, letting your forehead rest against his. 

“So you’re not seeing that guy you’ve been posting on your Instagram?”

“He’s my cousin,” you said with a small teary laugh, placing a kiss on his nose. 

And maybe things would be different than they had been before. Maybe this time he wouldn’t ditch you at events for models who made you insecure or forget your birthday. This time he wouldn’t make you hate the way you looked. But only time would tell.

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Note: I had a lot I wanted to do for this but lost motivation and I didn't want to just scrap the whole fic so... yeah, I know its shit but I've had a rough month. Anyway, I just wanted to give the original a happy ending. My Decemeber shorts will be better (I hope), peace out

[strangelysamantha]

jj x plus!reader story plz. jj always saying how much he loves your body, saying it’s something he can’t get enough of. he would always compliment you and stuff and then one day he random cheats on you with kie or a random tourist and since he’s so ashamed of himself and he’s a self destructer he starts to say nasty shit to you about your appearance and so you storm off upset and then you can chose the ending from there

lies, lies, and more lies ☆

jj maybank x plus!reader.

warnings: infidelity, jj being self-destructive, swearing, harsh speech, toxiccc, ect.

summary: after jj cheats on you, he can’t help but villainize himself by being rude to you and destroying any chance of redemption he had.

request? yes!

a/n: thank you for this request!! like and comment if you enjoyed! <3 my masterlist is pinned on my page!

—————————————————————————

jj pulled you into a tight hug, his head in the crook of your neck. his lips hovered over your skin, softly pressing kisses on you. "you are so perfect, baby." you smile at his words, "i can't get enough of you, you don't understand." he pulled away, his eyes locked on yours. he slips his arms around your waist. you lean in, kissing him. "thank you, jj" you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him tightly. jj continued rambling, "i love your body so much, you are so sexy." he holds your hand, urging you to spin into a circle to show off your figure. he grabs your hips, pulling you close to him. his hands roam from your hips to your chest. "i just want you, in every way." he leads you to your bed, and you comfortably adjust. "jj you are so sweet to me." he smiles, his hand cups your cheek, and he gently pulls you closer to him. "do you blame me?" he lets out an airy laugh, "you're my girlfriend, anyone would kill to have you." you shake your head in denial, "no, it's true. i have to protect what is mine." you bite your lip, caught off guard at his confession. "i love you, jj." he smiles brightly. "i love you so much."

you sit up, climbing onto his lap. you wrap your arms around him, the tension rising. "jj, you are the sexiest man i have ever met." he chuckles, "thank you, but i'm the lucky one. look at you." you lay your head on his chest for a second, when his phone loudly rings. you glance over at his phone, but he quickly denies the call. "who is that?" you ask. nerves littered your stomach, and a feeling of unease washes over you. his previous demeanor quickly changing. "just john b, don't worry baby, its nothing." he flips his phone over, silencing it. you are puzzled, if it really was just john b, why was he suddenly defensive? despite him turning the phone off, it continued to buzz repeatedly.

"i think you should answer him, it might be important." he nods, grabbing his phone, he places a kiss on your head, and swiftly exits the room. you sit astonished alone on the bed. after a few minutes he comes back, "i told you it wasn't anything serious." you nod, "that's good, im glad." he joins you in the bed once again, cuddling you tightly. you melt into his touch, the earlier doubts immediately slipping your mind. you didn't want your insecurity to ruin a good relationship. jj loved you, and he treated you like a goddess. you decide to leave it be.

jj was comfortable in your arms, and after a few minutes of silence in the dimly lit room, he drifts to sleep. that uncertainty came back, and you knew you would regret not checking it. desperate for clarity, you carefully lean over, grabbing his phone. you unlock it, immediately checking the call logs. you frown at it, seeing an unnamed contact had blown his phone up. you click the number, going to the text thread. your heart sinks, it was kiara. she had sent him multiple topless pictures with a caption of, don't let her see these. you scroll up, seeing weeks of messages they had exchanged. more often than not, there was flirtatious banter. you look over, seeing jj peaceful in your arms. disgust takes over, and you have to resist waking him up.

you double check that is phone is on silent, then you screenshot the worst messages, and the photos. you send them to yourself, immediately deleting any evidence. you're looking at his gallery, seeing a graphic video of jj and kiara together. your breathing staggers, and you have to look away. you close out of all the apps, gently putting his phone back. you lay back in the bed, your eyes closed. your mind is wandering, and you realize jj still had a tight hold around your body. you slip out of the bed, heading downstairs. you enter the bathroom, closing the door, and locking it. you sink to the floor. you couldn't resist, you reread the messages, noticing that kiara made a comment about your weight, in which jj's only response was, at least she is good in bed.

all those things he said, the compliments, he meant none of it. the emotions overwhelm you; you turn your phone off. needing air, you step outside. the moon is high in the sky, and you find yourself sitting by the ocean. your legs dangle over the edge, just above the water. you realized it was getting pretty late, and the night air was crisp. with a slight chill, you head back inside. you find jj in the kitchen, he lights up when he notices you. "now where did you go?" he laughs, he grabs a blanket for you. he wraps it around you, feeling your hands. "you are so cold, baby." you frown, "i didn't realize it would be that cold." he nods, "well why'd you go out there anyway?" you shrug, "had too much energy to sleep, so i went for a walk." he smirks, "next time you have too much energy, just tell me." his eyes trace over your body, "i can help you with that." you laugh, but walk to the fridge to grab some water. he hugs you from behind, his hands grabbing your stomach. you slightly shiver at his touch, you shake your head, stepping forward so you escape his grasp. "i have to go to the bathroom." he nods, "okay, i'll be upstairs." you smile, he kisses your cheek before making his way to your room.

you stay in the kitchen for a few minutes, before going back to the bedroom. "hey so kiara called me while i was outside." his attention is fully on you now, "she wants me to spend the night." you walk to your dresser grabbing some clothes for the supposed sleepover. he scratches his neck, "did she say why?" you decide to continue lying, since that's what he's been doing to you for weeks. "i guess she had a bad hookup, and she wants to tell me about it. just a girls night type thing." you continue packing and his eyes watch you intensely. "i'm kind of surprised by that." he spits out firmly, you turn around. "why?" he looks around, "i don't know, it didn't seem like you two talked like that." you laugh harshly, "what do you mean jj? she's my best friend." his face drops. "i want to spend the night with you, can't you wait until tomorrow?" you sigh, "no, i spend the night with you all the time, kiara and i don't get to hang out a lot. i'm not cancelling." he looks down at his phone, and smiles. your heart burns at the sight.

"who are you really going to see?" he questions, standing up. "what do you mean?" he smirks, as if he's catching you. "you aren't seeing kiara, she just texted me." you fight back a smirk, "oh really?" he holds his phone up, and you grab it from him. you open her text; it's her asking if she could come over. he allows you to look, but then immediately regrets it. "what the fuck is this jj?" you show the photo of her, and he rips the phone from your hand. "that's old, its nothing." you place your hands on your hips. you pull out your phone and dial kiaras number. she answers, "hey kiara, what are you doing tonight?" she is silent for a moment, "i don't have any plans yet, what's up." you laugh, "oh, i guess jj never answered you." she quickly hung the phone up. you look back at jj, and his eyes are wide. "if it's not like that, let me see your phone." he looks down, "you won't like what you see."

"why would you do this to me?" your eyes are glassy, and a frown is hung on your lips. he shrugs, "i mean i like you, but kiara's just different." you nod, "she's skinner, and prettier, that's it right?" he shakes his head, "no, not at all." you stare at him, "so your comment, at least she's good in bed...? that had nothing to do with my looks?" his anger seeps out, and his voice rises. "you went through my phone? that's a huge invasion of privacy!" you roll your eyes, "you got caught cheating, can you be mature for once?" your words struck jj's nerve. "maybe i wouldn't have cheated on you if you would have actually showed me love." he crosses his arms, "you don't mean that."

he sighs, "it's not like we were actually serious, we started as a fling," his words are laced with venom, "i mean did you really think we could last? look at you, then look at me." tears stream down your face, his words harsh. "okay jj." your eyes are low to the ground. "im really sorry, i should have ended it before it got this far, but you were so happy from my attention, i didn't want to rip it away from you." he tries to step closer to you, but you instinctively back up. "don't." he looks away. "did you not love me?" he hesitates, "i did love you, but no one wanted us together." you finally lock eyes with him, "who said that? kiara?" he sheepishly nods, "yeah." you close your eyes, "what she has to say shouldn't matter to you. you were the one who had us become more than friends. this whole thing was a fucking lie."

"you know i don't settle down. especially with people who are like you." he isn't holding back, "im aware of how i look jj. you never said you had an issue with it. you complimented me all the time. you loved me once." he shrugs, sitting on the bed. "not anymore, i never want to fuck you ever again." you compose yourself, "if that's the case, then were done." he doesn't try and argue you about it. "okay. we can still be friends," you laugh, "no we can't, get out of my house." you throw his belongings in a little tub, shoving it in his arms. "i'm sorry." jj has soft eyes towards you, a pit of guilt was brewing. for some reason, actually being forced out of your house, hurt his feelings. "goodbye." he leaves the room, and you follow to lock the door behind him. you turn your porch light off, blocking jj's number.

[starkrebellion]

💀💀 quick rant because a certain side of the Cobra Kai fandom will apparently never stop pissing me off and this is like the only place where I haven't seen anyone post shit like this

I NEED THESE PEOPLE TO GET A LIFE AND GET SERIOUS FAST.... in what world do they think that this is in any way entertaining or a cool thing to post. This kind of "humor" says a lot about a person's maturity, which in this case is nonexistent.

first of all, calling Peyton List (and generally judging other people for the way they look) a 5/10 is wild and objectively wrong... and even if she wasn't absolutely gorgeous I hope these people posting this shit never find love because Robby clearly didn't choose (not that there even was a choice to make) Tory for her looks. Zara's actress, Rayna Vallandingham, is also super beautiful and from what I've seen seems like a nice person who I'm glad got this opportunity to be in ck, but the character in itself is a jealous bitch and otherwise insufferable, and let's not forget the fact that she literally SA'd Robby. Plus before or after that they didn't spend any real time together... why the fuck would Robby choose her over the girl that he actually knows and loves????

secondly, Sam really doesn't look that different in season 6 than she did in the previous ones. And she certainly doesn't look any worse. If anything Mary Mouser looks even more beautiful now. Only childish people care this much about another person's weight. Calling her "Ham" wasn't funny when it first started, it's not funny now, just like none of the jokes regarding the way she looks are. There's seriously something wrong with these people and they're way too obsessive about bullying this girl who has done literally nothing to them because I can't see a single post about Sam/Mary without someone bullying her in the comments

It's okay to dislike a character but bringing the actor's looks into it is disgusting and immature. They are real people with real feelings!!!! I can't believe that people can actually write that shit about someone else and feel good about themselves afterwards

These people are literally driving me insane, this is like the third post in a span of a few weeks that I've made about this topic.... can they fucking grow up and realize their "jokes" aren't funny in the slightest

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 58

Hey remember when randomly a couple days ago in the event I mentioned that one of these days makes me irrationally angry??? Yeah this is the one. 

So context for this one is that in the danganronpa section of a server I’m in someone asked a question around the lines of-

“Who is your favorite character for a Mastermind AU?”

Nowadays if you asked me, I’m very fond of the Mastermind AU I drew for Toko and Komaru during Tokomaru Week this year, and it’d probably be my answer nowadays.

However if you asked Jem from several months ago, who was brainrotted to absolute hell over these two to the point that she could barely form an opinion on other characters (don’t worry I fixed that issue in my brain, kinda), you know damn well her instant response was Mikan.

At first it was kind of a non-serious filler answer because I didn’t have anyone else who piqued my interest for that at the time. Arguably at first I wasn’t even interested in Mastermind Mikan initially. And then my brain saw I was apathetic to it and was like “Hold my drink” before it spiraled into an AU, which I of course would then use for Day 58 at the time. 

I drew up a character design and some basic details in a total rush, and then drew a really basic but cute enough image of the two alongside various headcanons for this version of the relationship. I actually intended to draw a bonus image of the two on their own just because I felt like I was kinda scamming ya’ll if I didn’t. However I have like, none of the time for that on my hands right now, I’m JUST starting to learn Web Design at the time of writing this. If people like this enough I might try and actually draw some proper art of this AU again though.

As for why this day makes me angry, uhhhh yeah no it’s completely irrational. I have no justification in the slightest I just know that every time i scroll past this  one while looking through the folder of Junkan art for the project I just get annoyed.

I’m actually really happy with the Mastermind Mikan design, might be a biiiit overdesigned? But let’s be real if we’ve learned anything over the course of whatever the hell you’d call this project, it’d be that I am nothing if not a woman of pure excess, especially within the small realm of this ship. 

Okay so hi this is Jem from like, slightly in the future. And when I say slightly I mean like 20 minutes ahead of the previous paragraph. 

So I drew a Monokuma for this AU. Something I didn’t do for my Mastermind Tokomaru AU. I kind of had the idea for a Mikan version of Monokuma in my head for a decent amount of time, partially because I also want to do some art of Mikan and Junko in Shiro/Kurokuma cosplays later (yeah sorry spoilers there is no shiro or kurokuma representation in this project. But worry not, UDG does have representation, muuuuuch later). That made me think about how Shirokuma does kind of have similarities to Mikan (i think, it’s been awhile), which made me realize that monokuma but purple sounded neat. So there’s this now.

I imagine that Junko would still be voicing this version from behind the scenes. Partially because unless it’s literally an Ultimate Voice Actor Mikan AU there’s no way she can do that for a whole killing game. The other reason is I just kind of imagine that Mikan would take a similar role to Tsumugi, being both a member of the killing game and the mastermind, rather than what Junko did where she faked her death and orchestrated from behind the scenes without suspicions. Also yes this would mean that Junko is behind the scenes as normal, just that this time she’s solely focused on managing Monokuma. The Control Room is directly connected to Mikan’s room for easy, non-suspicious access to all the mechanisms. And also so the two of them can cuddle at night, obviously. 

Oh yeah with this Monokuma Redesign I would probably also change Mikan’s hair pin to reflect the same color scheme, even if I do like the way it looks with normal Monokuma colors. I would also probably make a “normal” Mikan design for this version. Just tone back certain parts of it to give the illusion that she isn’t the mastermind. Y’know, for the game that will totally exist based off this au, definitely. 

Honestly I think rambling about it has made me soften up on this one a bit, for now at least. So for real I might try and draw more of this AU regardless of whether people want it or not. That said y’know, if you DO want more of it feel free to say so cause that will in fact give me some mild motivation lol.

Oh I guess last thing. When I first showed the initial Reference image of this Mikan to friends one of them pointed out that I accidentally made her plan into, what is essentially the American Healthcare System. I swear to god that wasn’t intentional but it did make me laugh. 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[minimujina]

“i was just reflecting on the notion of dying for love. i’d love to give it a try, if i ever got the chance.”

- lighter in a hangout event after you choose to watch a romantic movie where the two leads die for each other

“i’d like to give it a try too,” is a dialogue option.

then he says:

“…don’t say that, i might actually believe you. but let’s wait until we’re both tired of living first.”

. . .

this man quite literally just insinuated that should he ever fall in love with someone—should he ever fall in love with YOU—he would lay his life down for that person. he would lay his life down for YOU. we already could have guessed that, it’s surely not surprising, but this interaction basically told us that should you both choose it, YOU would be the person he falls in love with. perhaps you already are; perhaps he is already halfway there. perhaps lighter has already decided he would lay his life down for you, given the circumstance calls for it—actually, i am certain he has. i’m certain that whether he loves us romantically or not, he would die to protect us, as he would for anyone he holds close.

he did not have to say that second part of the first line. he could have left it at the fact that he was ruminating over the themes of the movie. but he didn’t—and because he didn’t, his words imply so much to the player, if you decide you want to interpret it that way😭

“i was just reflecting on the notion of dying for love. i’d love to give it a try, if i ever got the chance.”

— i would die for you. i think i could fall in love with you.

“don’t say that, i might actually believe you. but let’s wait until we’re both tired of living first.”

— i want to believe you. i already believe you.

that last sentence—let’s wait—is more of a joke to me than anything else; like haha if we’re going to fall in love and die for each other in a romantic fashion, let’s wait until we’re tired of living👅. but the fact that he said it at all basically affirms the previous implication—that he could and would fall in love with the proxy, and perhaps he is eager to. he wouldn’t make a half-joke like that if he weren’t serious about its implications.

i just fucking loved this dialogue scene. when you choose to watch the romantic movie it even gives you a trust boost with him. he likes romantic shit. he’s a fucking sappy boy and a loser. i’m so in love with him i hate him so much

[that-random-outsider]

My Default RoR Headcannons

Chloe

I love the thought of Chloe wearing glasses

Captain of the swords and shields team

Tutors (forces) Red with homework

Has completely mastered the puppy dog eyes

Goes to the library for fun (nerd)

So popular! Beloved by everyone! She's just so Charming (see what I did there)

Considers herself Red’s unofficial knight in shining armor

Is the only one who can get Red to behave for ten seconds (Uma uses this to her advantage)

Speaks French

A's in every single class one of the highest gpa's in school

Red

Real artsy, can draw really well

Also writes poetry but doesn't tell anyone

Speaks in riddles

Bad at school

Hates looking weak, still used to the idea that any weakness should be hidden away

Anger issues like her mother (it scares her)

Socially awkward

Horrible at decision making

Gets into fights regularly

Skips class

Is embarrassed by how little she understands Auradon schools

Ella

Insecure about her social status (no she doesn't feel like she needs to have status to be happy but society acts as if commoners are worth less than nobals or royalty)

Never calls Bridget out on anything

Really strong (I mean some of the things her step family makes her do requires serious man Power)

Scholarship student

Spends most nights in Bridget’s dorm

Recognizes herself as Bridget’s unofficial protector

Doesn't actually know how to fight, but wants to learn (she thinks it'll help get Uliana off their backs)

Has a secret sweet tooth (she doesn't get many sweets at home)

Knows perfect first aid for both herself and Bridget

Has a drawer in Bridget’s room made specifically for her so that she'd always have clothes in the morning (she thinks Bridget borrows some when she's not looking but thinks she looks cute in her sweaters so she doesn't mind)

Bridget

Would do anything for Ella (that's not an exaggeration she will literally do anything for Ella, she could tell her to jump off a cliff and she wouldn't hesitate.)

Is scared Ella will leave her

Will personally remind you that the people in Wonderland are mad if anyone dares to use the the name Cinderella

Like Ella, is also super smart academically, is in mostly honors courses

Has finished many of Ella’s chores for her while she's not looking because she hates seeing her work so hard .

Is a horrible lier, because her conscience always makes her tell the truth

Has seperation anxiety. (Gets really anxious about Ella leaving, so she makes up excuses to get her to stay)

Knows everyone in the entire school's name by heart

Has remembered every one of Ella’s favorite treats by heart (makes them for her every other day because she's scared if she makes them every day Ella will get tired if it)

Buys Ella all the things her step family won't provide for her

[space-cowboys-and-aliens]

At Your Immediate Discretion

Rating: Mature

General Acacius x Reader

Word Count: 700

You meet General Acacius under the cover of night, revealing what you've been hiding from him.

"I have something weighing on my spirit. It seems that it needs your attention."

"What is it?"

"Over the last several weeks, I've realized…there are developments that have made their presence known to me."

"Developments? What is it you speak of?"

"Sir, my apologies. There is something horrible happening inside of me."

He laughs. "Horrible?"

"Yes, wicked and vile and ugly and…"

His face grows serious.

"Gods. We must get the doctors in at once. Fetch Brenan, he will see you to them."

"No! Sir, it’s more than what doctors’ minds alleviate."

The general, still confused, sits on a stone protruding from the ground.

"The feelings I have…the thoughts in my mind…you would think I’m growing mad. The worst kind, brought on in massive quantity by your presence. Forgive me. I cannot wash myself clean enough. I have tried. Gods, I fear the worst."

"My…"

He takes your wrists in one massive hand, holding them in a firm but grounding embrace.

"You are not…unclean, as you have said. You, of all, have the least to feel shame for. Who told you this was necessary to believe?"

"But never in my life have I felt so indecent, so exposed. It’s unnatural for a young woman of high nobility to entertain, allow, such deviancy. I throw shame upon myself. Forgive me. Depravity echoes through my soul."

"It’s very natural. Very mortal to feel…such a way."

She looks up.

"It is?"

"It is."

"I say again, General. I have horrible, deeply troubling thoughts. Every day. Every night."

"Every night?"

"When you pace by in the corridors. I sense you from gait alone. Across the gardens in the mornings. In the cathedral. Every fiber of my being attunes to yours. I’ve been alone most of my life. I’ve never had anyone teach me the ways in… what I can only describe as carnal desire. The sins of the flesh. Cartha and Tom run through the streets in the night, scheming for conquests. Their company has surely infected my nature. I have plagued you, too. I must…"

"Please look at me."

You can’t.

"There is something horrible happening inside of me..."

"There is nothing horrible happening."

"And it hurts."

"You don’t have to hurt, my stars. Where does it hurt? Tell me."

"Here."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"And you say I am the cause of your impure thoughts."

"Dear gods, how to control it? This fire within, wreaking havoc and destruction where I turn. Please."

"Would you like me to show you…?"

His hand was warm as he spread his touch across your waist.

"Please, let me touch you."

"Oh, my gods."

You lean forward, arms winding around his neck, bringing your foreheads together.

"He holds onto you by your waist."

"Hey. Shhh, it’s okay. You make the sweetest sounds. Are they for me?"

You nod.

"Answer."

"Yes," you breathe.

"I’m going to take care of it, okay?"

You nod.

This is the first time you have ever felt anything like this. Your face contorts at the faintest hint of pleasure.

He slowly pulls her body closer until it’s pressed flush to his own.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, yes, it feels so good."

"You’re so sensitive…"

"So sensitive…," you repeat.

"So needy…"

You stop rocking her hips. Looking down at him,

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no. Come here. So good for me…"

"…you…"

"Turn around."

You obey, and he kisses your neck as you stretch the skin. You feel your head tilt up, up, towards the heavens. His laving attention increases as your impatience towards relief grows, drawing a slight whine from your core. He grunts, a heavy sigh upon your open back. Another kiss presses to the nape of your neck. Your breathing turns to pants, mouth open, gaping at the worlds above.

[hispanthicc]

Sex As A Guy Who Got Fat On Purpose

I like sex. I enjoy sex a lot. I haven't always "gotten off" during sex but that wasn't really a priority for me because I just liked the act of doing it. I think mostly I enjoyed getting my partner off. I used to have a lot of sex, or at least a lot in comparison to now, but since i've gained weight I haven't had much sex or any at all really.

I didn't realize how much this lack of sex was affecting me. I think having sex and being able to find people to have sex with me made me feel attractive. So the lack of it has made me feel unattractive, at least to locals. Online people seem to still find me attractive. I know that just because I haven't had it doesn't mean that I am unattractive. I know there are also a lot of factors that play into it. Anyways I went from having it regularly to not having it at all.

Gaining is hard for me so for the first few years of me trying to get fat on purpose I was basically just skinny, toned, and had a slightly rounded tummy which would completely disappear if I flexed. I could pass as skinny for a while. Then COVID hit and my physical activity levels became non existent. I very quickly went from being stuck at 130 lbs all the way to 220 lbs at my highest during 2020-2021. I also had a serious surgery which meant I couldn't do anything for about a year. So I got pretty chunky for a bit. then I lost like 40 lbs after going through a break up. which btw was not a sexual relationship, and I think that also affected me a lot in a negative way. Especially because of some of the things he said in the end which made me feel really unattractive.

I'm not really the type of guy that chases anyone or initiates anything and this has nothing to do with my weight because i've never pursued anyone that isn't already pursuing me. I am really shy and the very few times i've tried, i've been rejected. So I don't. This usually just leads to me talking to a bunch of guys that i'm not attracted to which definitely doesn't lead to sex.

I used to be really open sexually. i've found thing i've written and posted from years ago that I would probably be too shy or too embarrassed to say now. But being with my ex he kinda made me feel a lot of shame for the things that I liked sexually or was attracted to. Since then I find it hard to connect with people sexually.

I think i'm also afraid that if I am too open sexually it'll attract the wrong kinds of people, which is something I unfortunately have experience with.

Most of the guys that are attracted to me are usually not locals and unfortunately means that a lot of the communication is all talk. They usually want me to send nudes or they want to send me nudes and sometimes looking is nice but I am not always in the mood to take pics for someone especially when they're probably just gonna disappear when they cum. Online sexual communication doesn't really do it for me. I want it in real life, the online barrier is frustrating and it honestly feels no different than jerking off to porn, which is fine but the real thing is so much better. There seems to be a lack of a real personal connection with it and it feels like i'm like mentally turned off by it. I never ask for nudes because I don't want anyone asking me for nudes. I genuinely hate when I’m talking to someone and they're so nice at first and then they say "Can I see more of you" because then it feels like they didn't mean any of the compliments they were just trying to soften me up to get nudes out of me. I usually only send stuff like that to friends.

It also seems like guys are more focused on what they want instead of what I want and many of them say things like "I want to do this to you" and never "would you like it if I did this to you" which maybe isn't that big of a deal but it comes across as less caring,

I don't know how I appear to others but I would say currently I look pretty chubby all over and I don't think I would be mistaken for skinny even when I suck in. Sometimes I shock myself when I see my reflection or see a pic someone else took. My body is bigger all over and it's still very new to me to actually be a fat guy. I like the way I look and I like the way being fat feels. I feel sexually aroused by it and I keep trying to make myself bigger and bigger but I know that isn't a common thing for people to be into IRL. So it's kinda like "do I lose weight so that I can be physically appealing enough to have sex irl" or do I just keep gaining cuz it makes me happier in general even if it is killing my sex life. I also think about how a lot of people in the gainer community are Asexual-ish or their sexuality is so tied to the fat that if I did lose weight i'd probably lose the affection of those people too. So many times I see "so-and-so lost weight and now I’m not attracted to them anymore" which is extremely hurtful even if it doesn't apply to me at the moment.

I wish I wasn't so shy but I’m not sure that it would matter. I feel like everyone has an idea of what they want in a partner (sexually or romantically) and I’m not sure that I fit, no pun intended, what people want where I live, and I hate knowing that eventually i'll probably have to move just to find someone.

I also know that my tragic dating life and non existent sex life are my fault. I'm not an easy person to get close to or be with but I’m trying to learn how let people in and be the best I can be for someone whenever I do actually connect.

[plurapony]

anti-psychs are fucking idiots

and i find it really REALLY hard to believe that they're mentally ill because anyone i know who is mentally ill would do absolutely anything to get better and there's no better solution than psychiatric care.

Don't get me wrong, society is absolutely fucked and that involves psychiatric care. Even in Australia it's not affordable (I pay way too much for mine) and it's not easily accessible either. There ARE problems but the problems are within the industry not the industry itself.

Let's talk about delusions and psychosis for a moment. They are absolutely fucking terrifying and every second you want them to end. I remember I couldn't walk a 5 minute walk back home because I was too overwhelmed with fear so I waited for what felt like hours sitting in the sun praying my wife would find me and take me back home.

I didn't like being involuntarily admitted due to my psychosis and I sure as hell didn't like the antipsychotics they put me on. It was hell but what I had been through was worse and I just wanted to be okay. I don't blame my wife for helping me be involuntarily committed because psychosis is scary for the people that love you too and I was making serious threats about hurting myself. She was only one person and I wasn't sleeping, she couldn't possibly keep me safe alone.

With everything, you take the good with the bad. In the psych ward I had met a nice older man named Carlos who got thrown in the psych ward by his mother every time he got too annoying. He didn't deserve to be there and he didn't deserve to be stripped of his choice and his rights.

To have constructive conversation and to fight for change there must be nuance involved. Fighting for an absolute while demonizing your opposition is going to get you absolutely nowhere.

By fighting to get rid of psychiatric facilities and psych wards you're not doing anything to the people that run society. Do you really think some rich white man who has it all is gonna give a single shit if therapy exists or not? You're only hurting those who need the service, the mentally ill that are struggling and desperately wanting to get better.

So fight for accessible therapy, fight for affordable therapy, fight for patients right to choose whether they are admitted to psych wards or not. Fight for better psychiatric care don't fight for no psychiatric care.

[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]

[rewritingcanon]

nextgen/hpcc characters going to an australian public high school:

rose: follows the social hierarchy to the tee and takes the shit from the year levels above her. but when she gets to year 12 she’s such a fucking menace to the years below her. and she gets her special year 12 amenities like access to the school microwave and toaster and kettle and she takes it very seriously that no one in the younger years can use it. if she had to wait so does everyone else. also she’s school captain and is the one always saying speeches at assembly and at athletics day. thinks she’s politically correct but then will turn around and tease scorpius for stuttering or sum.

albus: kinda unproblematic and keeps to himself but always gets bag checked and sent home for not wearing the right uniform (it’s always something so unserious like wearing a hoodie under his jacket or different socks). never used to actually lock his locker right and people immediately clocked that and stole his lock so its just unprotected. karl jenkins is always ransacking his locker so he barely has anything in it. wagged on formal and wouldve wagged on grad if he could. every time he walks through the school gates he gets swooped by a magpie.

teddy: choofs in the bathroom all the time, offers to share with anyone and everyone so all of the year 8s and 9s think he’s the coolest. only contributes in hums classes, dgaf about anything sciencey or mathy. chronic wagger. andromeda comes to his parent teacher interviews. got viral on tiktok once and people tried to clout chase him. a gazillion extracurriculars. pen ink all over his shirt. shit atar. has to do tafe after high school bc of it.

scorpius: the only one who didn’t fucking flop at specialist maths so the class’ mark didn’t get weighted up and so everyone whose ever shared a class with him hates his ass for it. when albus is absent scorpius tries to befriend whatever teacher is there on yard duty. you can catch his ass always at the canteen too buying the most outrageous shit for him and albus. he’s always got a fully stocked and well loved lunchbox, so its not for lack of care. constant victim of the eshays, once sat in the wrong spot and almost got bashed. school dux, but rose claimed valedictorian (she wasn’t happy).

craig: also definitely school captain, but he hatessss doing the speeches. just let him quietly organise the NAIDOC week activities in peace. studies in the library loads. unproblematic as hell, helps tutor year 10s in the library after school too. lowkey knew how to teach maths better than the maths teachers did, so they all liked him. wouldn’t let people copy off him so was kinda a stick in the mud for that. has beef with his year 10 english teacher who confiscated his beanie.

polly: she’s got a organiser in her locker and pictures of her friends put up everywhere inside. always cussing out the eshays and threatening to bash them. takes group costumes for athletics day way too serious and makes sure all her friends coordinate with her vision. absolutely slays the swimming carnival, her friends always are super annoying spectators on the side. super popular, always doing her makeup at the back of the class. did all the ATAR subjects but kinda flopped in it all. has secret beef with most of her teachers. chronic complainer, never thinks her shitty grades are her fault.

victoire: valedictorian of her year. prettiest girl in the school fr. played netball. knows all her friends and teachers birthdays and would always do the thing where she’d get a card and get everyone in her homegroup to sign it. has mostly everyone from school on snap. planned the yearbook, the year 11 formal, the grad afterparty, etc.

karl: lowkey an eshay but absolutely don’t say this to his face. his friendship with yann is like the only thing that is preventing him joining Those group of boys. only did outdoor ed for the camp. took a shit in the bathroom sinks during muck up day but no one could prove it was him. always goes to polly/rose/yann’s class during his frees to fuck around and usually gets kicked out for disrupting the class (“but Misssssss ☹️”). puts dollops of wet toilet paper in albus’ locker

yann: always the one filming school fights. starts rumours about people he’s irritated with, even his own friends. is best friends with the science teachers. is the one everyone goes to for gum. can dig up the most crazy info on teachers ever, someone give this guy a job in background checks. has been playing cricket since he was nine.

james: school captain but lowkey against his will. plays footy during lunch. had The Australian Mullet in year 8 but ginny threatened to shave him bald so it thankfully didnt last. gets invited to a gazillion house parties but stands most of them up to be at home and just nap. people always try to start beef with him for popularity but they always later find out that james dgaf at alllll. doesnt care for listening to music but doesnt want people approaching him so he’ll plug his airpods in and listen to the abc on the way to school/during lazy classes pretending he’s normal and listening to hozier or some bull. trauma bonded with his lote class.

lily: got suspended for bashing someone in the stairwell for calling albus a slur. plays footy and netball and highkey is better than most of the boys that play. planted a tree in the toilets one day. spends all her frees shopping out of school. buys herself heaps of ramen and forces james to use his year 12 privilege and cook it for her. has an electric scooter and is so irritating about it. actually really gafs about afl season and barracks for geelong (simply because she likes cats, and it just stuck). always getting moved in class because she yaps too much and too loud.

dominique: is always bashing someone and getting filmed (probs by yann). no one really learns she’s victoire’s little sister because they are soooo different in looks and personality. always going to school high as a kite. got sent home on muck up day for egging the principal and almost got kicked out of the grad ceremony. known as The Only Lesbian in school (she’s bisexual).

delphi: moved from getting homeschooled. does folio subjects. plays devil’s advocate in history class. never ever wearing school uniform but she’s too difficult to deal with so the teachers just leave her alone (also none of the office ladies want to call euphemia rowle 😭). spends most of her time at wellbeing. would sell empty vapes to year 7s in the girls bathrooms. that mf who tries to befriend the spiders 💀 and she’d throw them in people’s hair

hugo: used to be pressured by his mum to study for naplan so was waiting until he could be set free in year 10 (he doesnt have to do naplan anymore but he does have six assignments due tomorrow). he and rose were definitely kumon kids. always late to homegroup. the drama teacher loves him. got recorded bashing some older guy at a train station because the guy stepped in his hsp and then became a meme around school for a month or two. acts like he dgaf but will go home and cry over his grades in his room.

[maeamian]

Bunch of scared rats are making a bunch of noise about replacing Biden after a bad debate and I want you all to know that there is a 0% chance of that happening and anyone who suggests that it might is not a serious political thinker and anyone who suggests that it might and that the replacement would be someone other than Kamala Harris is so unserious as a student of American politics that you can assume they are trying to tell you a joke but doing it poorly.

[return-of-the-vegetable]

honestly i feel like dirk would just be like SO fucking confused and get his brain partially fried if someone was like actually and Genuinely interested in hal and wasnt just flirting with our fave glasses guy bcause the other person was instead interested in dirk but is unable to date him like how roxy does . the reverse dirkjake + hal as a third wheel dynamic or something .

[triglycercule]

alright i finished this so i need to celebrate my accomplishment (???) by sharing it to the world

BETTER versions of my trio designs. because boo boo the other old ones were BORING and TOO SIMPLE and lowhighkey UGLY. i had no idea what i was thinking when i made this but i guess design notes before to see if i can figure out what the fuck these mean 💀

killer🔪:3

he got a GLOW UP!!! when i was figuring him out i was thinking like. this man needs to look combat ready he CANNOT look chill and relaxed he MUST look good to fight. killer can't catch a break 💀 anyways. it's ALSO not revealing (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎) because i feel he would NOT wear that stuff cmon flirty =/= revealing. his charms are found through his words and actions (stabbing someone through the heart) (speaking of the heart i couldn't be bothered to draw his soul mb)

the gloves/shirt/leggings under his clothes may LOOK seperate. but its actually all one big piece!!! because i thought it would be silly and funny :3 but like on a serious note i like this because it provides an extra layer of protection (both in a fight and not) and like. a sense of anonymity i guess??? like you can't see killer's natural body you cant SEE who he was before because hes changed that much (or i guess HE cant see who he was b4 wtvr)

actually a lot of killer's outfit has meaning behind it. knee pads = unnatural body imitation killer is a whole new being now not monster (also adding 2 the combat look :3) belts = restraint killer needs to stay in line and do as he's ordered (i needed some visual interest 💀) zippers on shoes?? actually no meaning i just thought it would be cute. somehow i managed to find meanings 4 all of the trio's zippers. killer's is jammed in that spot. show like idk he is irreversibly changed to what he is now (a lot of this makes no sense)

horror 🪓 :3

if you remove all the rips in the clothes he'd be the most basic out of all of them. but theyre there so he's NOT the most basic! 4 horror i was thinking like "you can see he's fucked up but you can also see he's desperately trying to keep it together" type feel. i totally didnt steal those under socket lines (thank you mania and paranoia for donating to your og versions :3) to make horror look more 🌀🌀🌀 (cannot describe it)

the cloak was stolen from undyne trust. he wears it as a power move FUCK YOU!!! to her :3 also it looks royal and regal which could kinda show like horror's power and sway over snowdin. he's DEFINITELY not a king but he is a provider and a lot of what he says goes around those parts. a lot of ppl look to him as like world's shittiest leader(ish). also i just wanted him to have something unique!

underneath horror's jacket his shirt is reaaaally torn he should probably replace it. there are some holes from when he was pinned down with spears during the core incident and then the whole lower half is just totally torn off from that one comic 💀 but thats why the jacket is zipped up! however the zipper broke and now the jacket can't unzip! (because horror struggles with the fact that horrortale ISNT gonna be perpetually shitty (everyone say thanks aliza) and would rather nobody see him vulnerable)

dust🧣:3

i didn't change much about him lowkey he's pretty much wearing the same CLOTHES. just that the style and way he's wearing them changed. wanted him to give like,,,,, comfy (because bro did not change out of his sansish clothes) but also like FOCUSED o(≧口≦)o like horror he has the under socket line but thats just to make him look more stressed and tired

i moved around the scarf to NOT be around his neck bc it was sooo annoying drawing the hood and then having to account for the scarf. it kind gave him a baby face vibe which i did NOT like. also i think dust would wear the scarf however. very versatile as long as the scarf remains intact. so it COULD go around waist COULD be around neck COULD be around limbs

i didn't mean to do this but the black thingy around his shoulders (was originally there just to fill in the empty space without the scarf there 💀) could be seen as like mourning wear. again with the silly zipper symbolism but dust's zipper is fine its not broken like horror or killer's are because he chose to go down this path. dust CHOSE to zip it up and now its too late to go back now (so bro MUST power through ‼️‼️ he cant unzip the zipper now!!!!)

overall i like these. usually i like coming up with cool unique character designs its so fun but my trio was hard (im hard). probably bc i didnt wanna make then wear anything too weird Dx BUT NOW AT LEAST THEY ALL LOOK LESS BABY!!!! i think i depicted how i see them though like ughhh cannot explain but now they look like how i want them to sound

[schmweed]