#Ten;
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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outcast of the village
#werewolf#folklore#slavic#poland#folk clothing#folk costume#wolf#me when The Peasants (2023) i hate that movie#nothing against it I actually love how it's made along with the soundtrack and references to polish paintings#but having watched it in cinema it triggered so many traumas that i wanted to immediately leave the screening room#kto się wychował na polskiej wsi ten się w cyrku nie śmieje#art#pl#polblr#how much more tags can i fit to get people to notice this? let's see!
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i am glad queer representation has drastically improved in my lifetime. because now i can say that i dislike a gay book and not feel like i’m invalidating stonewall
#this is about legends and lattes btw#it would have been life changing ten years ago. but it just isn’t anymore. and thats a good thing!!#nat og#books#1k#2k#5k#10k#15k#20k#25k
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Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on May 23, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 1, 2018
Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on August 30, 2022
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Untitled by Pas (paxiti), on June 22, 2023
#i've seen this reposted so many times#often missing pieces and never in its entirety#and the timestamps too the timestamps are important#going by the xkcd ten thousand rule i wonder how many people have never seen the whole thing#original#art#twitter:paxiti
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Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.
Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.
To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)
In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.
Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.
Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.
When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.
The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.
I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.
“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.
I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”
“Didn’t you check the notes?”
I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”
He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.
It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.
I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”
“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”
“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.
The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.
#ramblies#ffs foibles#that sale was over ten thousand dollars#and I made a thousand dollars in that one sale#I cried about it later because I couldn’t even conceive of making that much money#story#writing#funny
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starting a collection. pierre talking to natasha in war and peace
#it’s soooo funny i don’t know……#he’s like really not that old like the age gap between them can’t be more than like ten years max he just talks like he’s on his deathbed#samael speaks
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meanwhile notes put up by the guy hired by my dad to help with foreign guests at his little ryokan in rural japan (“my english is not perfect,” said the guy earnestly. “but i think i can always get the meaning across.” “great,” said my dad. “that’s all that matters.”):
#i saw that tweet and immediately had to message him: remember toilet hole????#this was about ten years ago but the most important thing you should know is:#he now does interpretation/translation for the local government#twitter#japan
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so a fun fact abt me is that I work at a print counter, and some days I get bored and make something for myself in secret. A fact that is not helped by my access to design software both in and out of work.
As such, I've begun designing things before work in preparation for me to be bored while at work.
Recently, this has resulted in these business cards being produced.
and I don't think I need to elaborate any more on this.
#there's only ten cards#and they are getting mailed to my friends#also my coworker took one because he thought it was funny#he has never heard of ace attorney#ace attorney#apollo justice
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I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.
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Nine would have thought Martha Jones was the coolest person in the world. Doesn’t even matter where in the timeline this was or what happened to Rose, he would have loved her leather jacket and her hairstyle. He would have loved that she was a DOCTOR! Her studying to be a doctor was so overlooked and he would have loved it. He would have thought she was the coolest person alive. Nine and Donna would have killed each other on sight
#donna would call him a weasel faced bitch and he’d disintegrate on sight#doctor who#nine#9#ten#10#martha jones#donna noble#christopher eccleston#david tennant#bbc
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*meanwhile, in the Underworld* Polites: Eurylochus, back so soon? And...there's the rest of your crew. And by the gods, what happened to you? Eurylochus, who is sick of thematically-significant reprises: >:(
#epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#eurylochus#polites#the thunder saga#sorry i was listening to puppeteer again and this was really funny in my head. i've been yelling this at my sister for like ten minutes.#so now it's tumblr's turn to hear my nonsense.
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happy 10th birthday to one the most iconic songs of this century so far
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