#Teenage boys and violent social media

[coochiequeens]

'It stains your brain': How social media algorithms show violence to boys." Make no mistake boys and young men were disgusting before they had access to smart phones but this and parents not willing to admit there's an issue are creating a whole new problem.

Cai says violent and disturbing material appeared on his feeds "out of nowhere"

By Marianna Spring BBC Panorama

It was 2022 and Cai, then 16, was scrolling on his phone. He says one of the first videos he saw on his social media feeds was of a cute dog. But then, it all took a turn.

He says “out of nowhere” he was recommended videos of someone being hit by a car, a monologue from an influencer sharing misogynistic views, and clips of violent fights. He found himself asking - why me?

Over in Dublin, Andrew Kaung was working as an analyst on user safety at TikTok, a role he held for 19 months from December 2020 to June 2022.

He says he and a colleague decided to examine what users in the UK were being recommended by the app’s algorithms, including some 16-year-olds. Not long before, he had worked for rival company Meta, which owns Instagram - another of the sites Cai uses.

When Andrew looked at the TikTok content, he was alarmed to find how some teenage boys were being shown posts featuring violence and pornography, and promoting misogynistic views, he tells BBC Panorama. He says, in general, teenage girls were recommended very different content based on their interests.

TikTok and other social media companies use AI tools to remove the vast majority of harmful content and to flag other content for review by human moderators, regardless of the number of views they have had. But the AI tools cannot identify everything.

Andrew Kaung says that during the time he worked at TikTok, all videos that were not removed or flagged to human moderators by AI - or reported by other users to moderators - would only then be reviewed again manually if they reached a certain threshold.

He says at one point this was set to 10,000 views or more. He feared this meant some younger users were being exposed to harmful videos. Most major social media companies allow people aged 13 or above to sign up.

TikTok says 99% of content it removes for violating its rules is taken down by AI or human moderators before it reaches 10,000 views. It also says it undertakes proactive investigations on videos with fewer than this number of views.

Andrew Kaung says he raised concerns that teenage boys were being pushed violent, misogynistic content

When he worked at Meta between 2019 and December 2020, Andrew Kaung says there was a different problem. He says that, while the majority of videos were removed or flagged to moderators by AI tools, the site relied on users to report other videos once they had already seen them.

He says he raised concerns while at both companies, but was met mainly with inaction because, he says, of fears about the amount of work involved or the cost. He says subsequently some improvements were made at TikTok and Meta, but he says younger users, such as Cai, were left at risk in the meantime.

Several former employees from the social media companies have told the BBC Andrew Kaung’s concerns were consistent with their own knowledge and experience.

Algorithms from all the major social media companies have been recommending harmful content to children, even if unintentionally, UK regulator Ofcom tells the BBC.

“Companies have been turning a blind eye and have been treating children as they treat adults,” says Almudena Lara, Ofcom's online safety policy development director.

'My friend needed a reality check'

TikTok told the BBC it has “industry-leading” safety settings for teens and employs more than 40,000 people working to keep users safe. It said this year alone it expects to invest “more than $2bn (£1.5bn) on safety”, and of the content it removes for breaking its rules it finds 98% proactively.

Meta, which owns Instagram and Facebook, says it has more than 50 different tools, resources and features to give teens “positive and age-appropriate experiences”.

Cai told the BBC he tried to use one of Instagram’s tools and a similar one on TikTok to say he was not interested in violent or misogynistic content - but he says he continued to be recommended it.

He is interested in UFC - the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He also found himself watching videos from controversial influencers when they were sent his way, but he says he did not want to be recommended this more extreme content.

“You get the picture in your head and you can't get it out. [It] stains your brain. And so you think about it for the rest of the day,” he says.

Girls he knows who are the same age have been recommended videos about topics such as music and make-up rather than violence, he says.

Cai says one of his friends became drawn into content from a controversial influencer

Meanwhile Cai, now 18, says he is still being pushed violent and misogynistic content on both Instagram and TikTok.

When we scroll through his Instagram Reels, they include an image making light of domestic violence. It shows two characters side by side, one of whom has bruises, with the caption: “My Love Language”. Another shows a person being run over by a lorry.

Cai says he has noticed that videos with millions of likes can be persuasive to other young men his age.

For example, he says one of his friends became drawn into content from a controversial influencer - and started to adopt misogynistic views.

His friend “took it too far”, Cai says. “He started saying things about women. It’s like you have to give your friend a reality check.”

Cai says he has commented on posts to say that he doesn’t like them, and when he has accidentally liked videos, he has tried to undo it, hoping it will reset the algorithms. But he says he has ended up with more videos taking over his feeds.

Ofcom says social media companies recommend harmful content to children, even if unintentionally

So, how do TikTok’s algorithms actually work?

According to Andrew Kaung, the algorithms' fuel is engagement, regardless of whether the engagement is positive or negative. That could explain in part why Cai’s efforts to manipulate the algorithms weren’t working.

The first step for users is to specify some likes and interests when they sign up. Andrew says some of the content initially served up by the algorithms to, say, a 16-year-old, is based on the preferences they give and the preferences of other users of a similar age in a similar location.

According to TikTok, the algorithms are not informed by a user’s gender. But Andrew says the interests teenagers express when they sign up often have the effect of dividing them up along gender lines.

The former TikTok employee says some 16-year-old boys could be exposed to violent content “right away”, because other teenage users with similar preferences have expressed an interest in this type of content - even if that just means spending more time on a video that grabs their attention for that little bit longer.

The interests indicated by many teenage girls in profiles he examined - “pop singers, songs, make-up” - meant they were not recommended this violent content, he says.

He says the algorithms use “reinforcement learning” - a method where AI systems learn by trial and error - and train themselves to detect behaviour towards different videos.

Andrew Kaung says they are designed to maximise engagement by showing you videos they expect you to spend longer watching, comment on, or like - all to keep you coming back for more.

The algorithm recommending content to TikTok's “For You Page”, he says, does not always differentiate between harmful and non-harmful content.

According to Andrew, one of the problems he identified when he worked at TikTok was that the teams involved in training and coding that algorithm did not always know the exact nature of the videos it was recommending.

“They see the number of viewers, the age, the trend, that sort of very abstract data. They wouldn't necessarily be actually exposed to the content,” the former TikTok analyst tells me.

That was why, in 2022, he and a colleague decided to take a look at what kinds of videos were being recommended to a range of users, including some 16-year-olds.

He says they were concerned about violent and harmful content being served to some teenagers, and proposed to TikTok that it should update its moderation system.

They wanted TikTok to clearly label videos so everyone working there could see why they were harmful - extreme violence, abuse, pornography and so on - and to hire more moderators who specialised in these different areas. Andrew says their suggestions were rejected at that time.

TikTok says it had specialist moderators at the time and, as the platform has grown, it has continued to hire more. It also said it separated out different types of harmful content - into what it calls queues - for moderators.

'Asking a tiger not to eat you'

Andrew Kaung says that from the inside of TikTok and Meta it felt really difficult to make the changes he thought were necessary.

“We are asking a private company whose interest is to promote their products to moderate themselves, which is like asking a tiger not to eat you,” he says.

He also says he thinks children’s and teenagers’ lives would be better if they stopped using their smartphones.

But for Cai, banning phones or social media for teenagers is not the solution. His phone is integral to his life - a really important way of chatting to friends, navigating when he is out and about, and paying for stuff.

Instead, he wants the social media companies to listen more to what teenagers don’t want to see. He wants the firms to make the tools that let users indicate their preferences more effective.

“I feel like social media companies don't respect your opinion, as long as it makes them money,” Cai tells me.

In the UK, a new law will force social media firms to verify children’s ages and stop the sites recommending porn or other harmful content to young people. UK media regulator Ofcom is in charge of enforcing it.

Almudena Lara, Ofcom's online safety policy development director, says that while harmful content that predominantly affects young women - such as videos promoting eating disorders and self-harm - have rightly been in the spotlight, the algorithmic pathways driving hate and violence to mainly teenage boys and young men have received less attention.

“It tends to be a minority of [children] that get exposed to the most harmful content. But we know, however, that once you are exposed to that harmful content, it becomes unavoidable,” says Ms Lara.

Ofcom says it can fine companies and could bring criminal prosecutions if they do not do enough, but the measures will not come in to force until 2025.

TikTok says it uses “innovative technology” and provides “industry-leading” safety and privacy settings for teens, including systems to block content that may not be suitable, and that it does not allow extreme violence or misogyny.

Meta, which owns Instagram and Facebook, says it has more than “50 different tools, resources and features” to give teens “positive and age-appropriate experiences”. According to Meta, it seeks feedback from its own teams and potential policy changes go through robust process.

[digiditto]

party girl/sad girl is such an underrated dynamic and I don’t mean it in an extrovert-adopts-introvert way. I mean it in a trashy shallow attention seeker meets trashy obnoxious internet gremlin who should never cross social circles kind of way. it’s like romeo and juliet to me. they shouldn’t be together but it compels me

[novy2sirius]

MOON HOUSE CORE © novy2sirius

trigger warning: suicide, violence, eating, hypochondria, trauma, mental health issues ♡

this is just a random post abt things ppl with these placements could experience ♡

these r only abt isolated placements so take it with a grain of salt bc the whole chart matters ♡

a lot of these r experiences i’ve heard from my friends and ppl who’ve purchased readings from me directly ♡

moon in 1h core

not being able to hide ur emotions bc they’re literally evident on ur face, youthful beauty, constantly changing ur outlook on life depending on how u feel at the time, getting told u look young for ur age, getting mad bc boys/girls call u cute instead of hot, mothering everyone, likes to be pampered and babied, throws child-like fits if lower vibrational, being a lot like ur mom even tho sometimes u don’t wanna admit it, even if ur a boy having emotional responses like a teenage girl, growing up with parents that had anger issues so now u have anger issues, being asked if ur sad all the time by ppl when ur not even sad it’s just ur resting face, having a comforting aura, ur mood instantly being ruined the moment anything makes u insecure at all, looking good in light blue and white outfits

moon in 2h core

having a cute voice, wanting to spend all ur money bc u had a bad day and r emotional, eating bc u’re emotional af, ur comfort place being a restaurant/fast food spot, having a wife who brings lots of stability to ur life, having a good singing voice, feeling emotionally connected to inanimate objects such as ur stuffed animal, not feeling happy around ppl who bring instability to ur life, spending all ur money on things related to music/food, love language is gift giving and physical touch, not feeling loved by ur partner when they don’t hug u every second, feeling more comfortable around ppl who share the same values as u, only having a good work ethic when ur happy, caring abt ppl more when they spoil u with gifts

moon in 3h core

being extremely charming and able to persuade others easily, having a rly soft voice and being told u sound like a child, being scared to do anything when ur sibling/a companion doesn’t come with u, feeling more emotionally connected to ppl u share similar opinions/interests with, being more talkative around ppl when ur comfortable and quiet around random ppl, posting emo stuff on social media when u were in middle school, having a lot of the same interests as ur mom, being close with ur neighbors growing up and riding bikes with them around the neighborhood and selling lemonade on the side of the road, being obsessed with romance books

moon in 4h core

playing house a lot as a kid, either being rly close with ur mom or having extreme mommy issues, being obsessed with self care related things and not being able to go to sleep without doing ur skin care routine, being emotional just by existing, coming off as emotional even when ur not emotional, feeling deep emotion for ppl and feeling attached to them and then realizing that they don’t feel the same way bc u’ve literally only talked for a week and u just have a problem with getting attached to ppl easily, feeling most comfortable with people that make u feel feminine, being a talented nurse or realtor, having a very nurturing aura

moon in 5h core

having a lot of hobbies that don’t involve leaving ur house, being hot, ppl always telling u that u have celebrity/star vibes, having a bunch of creative ideas but being afraid to share them bc ur shy, being insanely dramatic and then later regretting it heavily, being a good actor, contemplating killing urself every time u got grounded as a kid bc ur dramatic, feeling happiest when ur by the ocean or water, being a hopeless romantic, falling in love w cancer placements but wishing u didn’t, loving mango/citrus flavored foods/drinks, being scared of violent video games and wanting to play sims or minecraft instead, being rly good with kids/kids naturally loving u, growing up with egotistical parents, rewatching the same films/shows over and over bc they bring u comfort

moon in 6h core

being able to tell how someone rly feels even when they try and hide it bc u can analyze ppl rly well, loves animals and feels better when they have an emotional support pet, love language is acts of service and gift giving, having rly bad anxiety any time u leave the house (and in general) these ppl r huge homebodies, being a hypochondriac and thinking ur gonna die every time u have a single bad physical health symptom and googling ur symptoms then becoming even more worried bc google says ur abt to have a heart attack, chronic overthinker

moon in 7h core

being rly charming and having a lot of secret admirers, being scared to come outside ur comfort zone without a companion/partner with u, being fruity af, making ur friends/lovers order food for u bc ur too shy to, wanting harmony/peace and hating when someone argues with u or tries to start conflict with u but unfortunately still managing to attract lots of enemies even when u try to avoid drama, being able to negotiate with others easily, trying to be nice to ppl and killing them with kindness and u still end up getting hurt, being attractive to society but insecure abt ur looks, feeling sad if u don’t look pretty at all times, moving to live near ur bf/gf bc ur too attached to be in a long distance relationship, hates hookup culture

moon in 8h core

being sexualized a lot, ppl randomly confiding in u abt their traumas when u didn’t even bring anything abt it up, not being able to hookup bc you’ll get too attached, having a lot of family trauma that has now affected u emotionally and made u rly defensive any time someone talks to u in a slightly off tone, being a witch, doing love spells on ur crush so they’ll like u, having dark humor, feeling like u wanna die on ur period and going insane and acting like another person and then when u go off it realizing how dramatic u were, getting a boob job, being sent d*ck/p*ssy pics a lot without even asking for them, getting inheritance from ur family, getting surgery when u were young, spiritually transforming the most when ur alone

moon in 9h core

wanting to leave ur home country and never come back, trying to run away as a kid and packing a bag then coming back bc ur scared after only getting half way down ur street, adapting to ur surroundings quickly and easily being influenced by others, having a closer connection with ur grandparents than ur actual parents, having good ethics and not vibing with ppl around u who don’t, having ur first romantic relationship in college, feeling more comfortable around cultures outside of ur own or feeling more emotionally connected to cultures outside of ur own, cutting out ppl quickly when they’re negative and when they don’t support ur plans in life, having a thing for athletic boys/girls

moon in 10h core

having a star-like quality, finding comfort in being a workhorse and working all the time and using it as a way to distract urself from all ur problems in life, feeling like life is meaningless if ur not constantly going out and doing things, trying to keep things private but they end up getting out anyway, having a reputation of being a softie, feeling closer to ur dad than ur mom or having extreme daddy issues no in between, leaving behind a legacy that inspires others and touches them emotionally, being talented in careers that r an emotional outlet for u

moon in 11h core

having a very friendly aura and being able to socialize well but still sometimes having a low social battery at the same time, having a lot of influence on others and attracting a lot of ppl that r fans of u, being easily influenced and sometimes easily manipulated, having a lot of mood swings, being emotionally unpredictable, fearing being alone/dying alone and ppl abandoning u, being able to social network rly well, being closer to a step/half parent than a biological parent, throwing the best house parties, forming closer emotional connections online than in real life, being closer to ur online friends than in person friends, having a deep desire for someone to just care abt u and give u attention

moon in 12h core

having a lot of dreams that weirdly predict things almost perfectly, being obsessed with the feeling of nostalgia but also hating it at the same time, having an ethereal beauty, using astrology as a way to get an explanation for ur trauma so u can feel more validated, falling into a deep depression every time u run out of shows to watch, imagining fake scenarios in ur head abt rly bad things happening and crying over it when ur bored, looking like a mermaid/man, dwelling on the past a lot, being able to mask rly well and pretend ur someone ur not and doing it sm to fit in that u don’t even know who u r anymore, struggling with mental health issues ever since u were a child and feeling like u were sad even as a kid but not knowing why, hearing ppl talk randomly when ur abt to fall asleep but no one’s there, having a lot of hidden enemies that u may have had a close emotional connection with before that end up stabbing u in the back, feeling alone even when ur not alone

comment if u want more of these 🗣️

[olderthannetfic]

Being a trans man and not being an anti is also isolating, which is part of why I think trans guys gravitate towards either being an anti or reposting anti posts. If you're not an anti, you get booted from discord servers, blocked on social media at best or sent misgendering rape threats, death threats and suicide bait by other trans men at worst, and now that I'm in college I've found IRL that not being an anti makes a lot of people in queer spaces available to the average college student incredibly uncomfortable. So you have to either be entirely alone - which is very difficult when you're young, queer, and just coming into your own identity - or you have to be around it a lot without saying a word. Agreeing with it at first wouldn't even be necessary. You just have to not say anything against it, and then you'll be able to be around other people.

It doesn't help that most trans men who get sucked into anti circles are teens at the time. There's 501 proposed anti-LGBT laws right now, not counting everything that has passed, the majority of it anti-trans. If you're a teenage boy seeing all this transphobia on the rise, you're going to feel powerless. Bullying people like antis do makes you feel power over at least a few people. Being told you can consume your way into being a good person via media intake makes you feel like you have power and control over at least that.

I was sucked in incrementally because I wasn't exposed to the more violent antis who fantasized about murder and hurting people for writing fiction, I met my only friend - who was an anti - after my dad had beaten me for coming out as trans, and I was sixteen. I got out when I was eighteen because once I went to live with my mom, a psychologist, she gently corrected me when I would say things that aren't based in fact. She pointed out how upset these people were making me. She taught me how to fact-check claims and look into the veracity of claims.

And when I tried to convey to my friends that no, what they were saying wasn't supported, they turned on me. Including the only person who had been there for me when I was hatecrimed, who had reached out to me specifically because she met me what day. I lost every friend I had in roughly 30 hours.

If I hadn't had a really great mom, a very intelligent rabbi who's well-versed in psychology and is a former lawyer who saw the "fiction made me do it" excuse used to defend heinous crimes and doesn't buy it, and an older half-sister who lived through people calling her a psycho lesbian because she's a lesbian who played D&D, listened to metal and dressed Goth in small-town Montana in the 80's/90's, I would have probably killed myself. Having those three people who accepted me and did not accept this extremist rhetoric kept me sane and repaired my self-esteem enough to keep me going.

But a lot of people don't have three adults who are intelligent, supportive, and know better than to fall for this faux-psychology. A lot of people don't even have one. Often, they have unsupportive people who also believe firmly in the faux-psychology of "if you watch a thing you'll do that thing IRL". So there's not only no one hauling them out of this, it's getting reinforced.

Being a non-anti who is a trans man gets me a lot of shit from a lot of people online and offline. (As other anons have mentioned during the ace discourse, online talking points come up on college campuses and in real life, because the internet is not an alternate dimension, it is something being used by the people around you who exist in the same physical space as you.)

A reality that I don't think people want to discuss is that trans men, just like all other people of all other genders, suffer a lot of psychological distress if they're put in a position where they have no support. I sure as fuck wasn't happy being in a position where I went from having tons of online friends, discord servers I could hang out in and fandoms I associated with good vibes to none of that, plus harassment, plus massive misgendering.

It's a lot less awful of an existence to be a trans man and an anti when you're young and need community and support than it is to not be an anti and be isolated. And humans gravitate towards the least awful option 99% of the time.

--

Yuuup.

Having some kind of real support network, usually offline but at the very least not randos you met a day ago on discord, is vital and is the difference between not only whether you rot in a pit of antidom forever but in stemming the massive flood of trans teen suicides. The overall queer rates aren't great, but the specifically trans rates... they're bad. They're so, so bad.

[sexhaver]

i’m sorry i’m like this too.

but this site is so fucking WEIRD about john green. the cock monologue is whatever, but you also have a post about green being “weirdly chummy” with fans and. come on that was the actual problem in 2014. he was getting accused of pedophilia and grooming which was disproved at the time and remains completely untrue.

john green wasn’t predatory for writing YA novels with teenage girl main characters. he wasn’t predatory for interacting with fans who sought him out. he wasn’t predatory for creating an online community that remains safe for minors to participate in currently. he’s not a predator and he isn’t weird to his fans. it’s genuinely messed up to imply and keep implying that a YA author was being predatory towards fans after it was disproved. he had a public social media account before it was common for authors to engage that way. we were teens and we got weird about it.

it is actually serious to say john green was being inappropriate towards children and it’s important for all of our safety that we stay Very Very Clear about what predation is and who is Actually Dangerous To Children.

first off, no, you're not sorry, if you were sorry you would realize this ask sounds ridiculous and not send it, and yet here we are.

what really gets me the most about idiots such as yourself is that you make such a painstaking show of recounting How Things Really Happened, as if there's a massive conspiracy of historical revisionism afoot with the end goal of smearing a middle-aged YA author when like. i was literally there. i used this website before john green joined. i watched him get popular, i watched as we all took the piss by editing his text posts like we edited 10000 other text posts, i watched as a teenage girl called him a "creepy uncle at a pool party" and he responded by siccing his adult YA author friends and fans such as yourself on her so hard she deleted, i watched as he called nerdy girls an "underutilized resource" in a video targeted at boys, i watched as he jerked himself off in the notes of a gifset of his own movie ("is this the FIRST TIME the GIRL has kissed the BOY????"). i was (and still am) mutuals with the guy who edited the iconic copypasta over his announcement about hitting 100k followers or whatever.

i did not suffer through all of this, the worst fucking years of this hellsite, to be talked down to by tiktok users who deign to cite the deep magic to me. he was not targeted with post editing copypastas (yes, plural, it had been ongoing for months) for being neurodivergent. he wasn't even targeted for being creepy or predatory, although that was definitely a discussion being had at the time. he was targeted because he was fundamentally cringe before the word "cringe" had been discovered, and because he took himself so seriously that you were guaranteed to get a response from him every time.

imagine if Lin Manuel Miranda made an account on here now, and you could edit his posts, and every time you edited them, he would reblog it back from you saying "haha, very funny guys, but this is an edit! i didn't say this!", which you could then edit again, and so on and so forth. and then imagine if, a full decade after this happened, people who weren't even there started calling this practice "violent harassment" because someone edited his post to the "what the fuck did you fucking say about me?" copypasta once. and furthermore imagine that when you laugh at these people, they get really really indignant and demand you take them seriously and imply that somehow you're losing the debate by refusing to engage with them, and also that this is a debate all of a sudden instead of them embarrassing themselves

[hadesoftheladies]

Girlhood Is Surveillance

In the imaginations of most men, oppressive policing is done by a military force or officers of a district. Men are deployed, with weapons and uniform, to enforce the will of the state. They use violent means (or the threat of violence) to intimidate. Certain words are banned by the government and uttering them risks being locked up, done away with, killed.

Yet, the most powerful, pervasive, and far-reaching form of surveillance is the reality for most girls.

Oppressed groups typically go through more surveillance than the oppressing class. They are viewed with more suspicion, afforded less allowances, and must work harder to prove themselves worthy of basic rights. The government is aggressively involved. They mandate what schools can teach, what media houses can publish, what public speakers can say.

For girls, surveillance starts before they can walk. This kind of surveillance is an extension of the surveillance her mother endures from her peers. She is dressed appropriately in pink, in bonnets, in frills and baby bows. By the time she is five, she is policed by her closest relatives. She may or may not be allowed to run shirtless like her brothers. Especially when her uncles are there. She must not wear nail polish or she must play with makeup. She must wear tutus and dresses.

This also happens to boys, but in a much different way. The reason I describe girlhood specifically as surveillance is because in a patriarchal, pornified world, the boy's body is neutral, that is, not provocative. Not insulting.

The female body, on the other hand, is semiotically significant. It is a symbol of sex, of desire, of lust (at least as a man experiences it) and thus is wicked, crude, and crass. The girl is surveilled because on the streets, in the home, by anyone who looks at her, who she is is interpreted to be provocative. In other words, her femaleness, naked or evident, is hate speech. Or impolite language. Language that polite society cannot be seen to be having. Her shoulders, knees, hands, thighs, breasts, are pornography.

This is just a fraction of the surveillance of girlhood.

As she grows up, she learns there are ways she must sit, things she must not know, things she must not say, and things she must wear. Her mother (and sometimes father) are the chief police on these things. They watch her, check her before going out, frisk her to make sure the skirt is not rising above her knees, the hijab is in place, etcetera.

On the streets, the girl learns, that she is also being watched by others. Men whistle at her as she walks to primary school. She learns how easy it is to be shamed as a girl. By teachers, strangers on the road, girls in school, boys at the playground. For having hairy legs, a crooked (normal) nose, a bare face, a face that isn't bare, too much height, too big boobs, too small boobs, thin lips or full lips, a flat butt, a butt that shows, etcetera.

She censors her womanhood when it comes. For if her brothers or father see her blood in the toilet, that is her body once again being provocative. Perhaps she becomes aware as a teenager, of the inequality and injustice. If she speaks out, she will be met with a host of police ready to put a stop to it. Her best friend will say, "Some women like looking beautiful. It is not a crime to want to be beautiful. You are judging me." Her mother will say, "Girls libidos don't matter. Sex is not for girls to enjoy, but for men." Her father will say, "Don't worry your pretty little head about things you don't understand." They will all dismiss, all shame, all hush her. They will call her ungrateful, a lesbian (which means social outcast, unnatural, inhuman, wrong), a radical, or a child throwing a tantrum. All of which are threats, whether or not they recognize them as such.

This policing system does not need the use of officers or the military much because the narrative is in society's consciousness. The people will police deviants themselves after the government tells them what the deviants look like and gives them the stakes of noncompliance. This kind of surveillance is also older than the government, if not as old as it is. It's oldness makes it that much more difficult to notice and resist.

The people who love you become the police. They will snitch on you to their peers if you do not conform. Your mother will tell your aunts and grandmother. Your father will joke about you with your brothers. Your sister will tell on you to the popular girls. And these are not the worst kind. Most girls, like every other animal, every other human being, will go the route with the most ease and the best chance at survival.

They will conform. They will cross their legs. Do their hair according to their age. Paint or not paint their nails. Wear the hijab. Wear skirts that go over the knee. Wear the pink. Curl their hair. Smear the lipstick, eyeliner, mascara. Put the powder and glitter on themselves. Wear the heels and stockings. Kiss the boy, etcetera.

And now, because they've been told how closely they're being watched, for their looks, whether their clothes are appropriate or not, whether their mothers are happy or not, whether their brothers feel threatened or disgusted by their pads or their tomboyishness or not, whether they are excelling too much in sports or academia or too little, whether they are smart or not, whether they are fat or not, whether they are acceptable or provocative or not . . . it becomes of paramount importance that they surveil themselves. Because they are in a hypervigilant state. They are in survival mode.

Girls are their own self-police. Harsh on every angle and feature. Because they have been told that people pay special attention to them everywhere they go. And to some degree, this is true. Everyone is easily insulted by femaleness, because femaleness is provocative. Please note, not femininity, femaleness. Femininity is camouflage because it signals conformity. Agreeing with the narrative that insists that the female body is the symbol for sex or motherhood. That the female body is pornography. The women that flaunt their bodies and say, "I am sexy and want you to know it!" are conforming. The women that hide their bodies and duck their heads to show meekness toward their God are conforming. None of them challenge the assertion that the female body is by-default provocative, an invitation to sex, shameful.

Now, surveillance has expanded. You see girls tilting their heads in one direction on their cameras because they believe this is their best side. They all have makeup or makeup filters. That thin their faces and enlarge their eyes. That make their lips a little fuller. They gag themselves and retch up nutrients and food in order to keep themselves safe. Obsessed with beauty and meekness because it is their livelihood. What secures them in society.

And yet . . . does it? Little girls are killed for a little hair showing from beneath their headscarf. Young women are murdered by the men whose advances were rejected. Toddlers are whistled at by grown men on the street. Teenage girls are the sex symbol of the generations in TV shows, movies, music videos. Mothers starve their girls, physically and emotionally abuse their girls, to keep them compliant. Girls have burn marks, scars, wounds from conformity. They have blistered feet and bra lines burned into their ribcage.

The government is not inactive, either. It does not punish femicides. It mandates forced birth. It regulates population by regulating the human female, rather than the male that has been left to run amock. Who starts these pregnancies and is responsible for any statistic for violence in the general population. It ensures that women need men to survive the economy. It ensures that women are successfully sold and bought for the economy. The pimps need their money, after all. And the president needs the pimps. The oligarchs need their workers, too. Workers need mothers to create them and wives to sustain them. Girlhood is the governments business.

A girl will blame herself for how her boyfriend treats her, for being raped. She will then, instead of looking at the world, at the perpetrator, will police herself and other girls around her even more aggressively. Violently.

Surveillance is most powerful when privacy is destroyed and the person made into a data point to be exploited. Girls do not have privacy, for their private parts are taboo discussions in public life. They are offensive discourse and so must be suppressed and regulated.

Girlhood is living under the most extreme and powerful form of surveillance, where everyone is the girl-police, including the girl herself.

[virescent-v]

snap me, emily

a/n: emily prentiss x femBAU!reader. As the new liaison to the BAU, you're the expert in social media and cybercrime. But you've met your match in snapchat and Emily.

word count: 3.3k+, includes y/n

You’ve been a member of the BAU for only four months, but you knew this was where you wanted to plant your roots, if you could swing it. They had originally brought you in as a liaison, specializing in cybercrime and crime against children and adolescents. Your prime focus was on social media and violent crime between children. When they first brought you in, it was for a case involving two fifteen year old girls committing crimes against their classmates; unspeakable things that fifteen year old kids shouldn’t even know about, let alone have to worry about. But it was something you saw more and more of in your line of work. 

The unit kept you on after that because the next case also involved teenagers. An eighteen year old and snapchat and the unthinkable. At your age, you couldn’t understand the hype revolving around an app where the pictures delete after a certain time, but hey, you’re old, according to your nephew, so what did you know? Your job, however, basically required you to have and understand all of the popular apps, so you were familiar with its features.

You’ve enjoyed your time with the unit. You’ve learned a lot, but you’ve also gotten to show off your skills. They’re like a family, so it was hard to stick around and assimilate into their group and not just be the liaison. But after that first case, they knew you were capable, and they were warming up to you little by little. 

Doctor Spencer Reid was the first one to really take an interest in your work, besides Penelope, who was all about your involvement in cybercrime. Reid, though, just didn’t understand social media, so it was an enjoyable time trying to explain snapchat to a literal genius. 

“You can take pictures or videos and send them to friends. But after you view them, they disappear,” you explained, settling yourself into one of the seats on their jet. 

“Disappear? Where do they go?” He asked quizzically, with a little head tilt. 

“Into the void, Spence. Gone, forever, never to be seen again,” Emily said with a smirk towards you. During your time with the team, you’ve come to realize her and Derek like to pick on Reid the most, but it was out of love and respect and hardly ever in malice. 

Also during your time with them, you’ve realized a little more about Emily. 

Just that you casually have a huge crush on the profiler. 

The two of you have slowly gotten to know each other over the past couple of months, and you don’t think she knows anything about your crush. Or, at least, you hope she doesn’t. 

Spencer looks adorably confused. “Why would someone partake in such an app? Why wouldn’t you want to save the pictures or videos?” 

You smile at his confusion. “You can save them, if you want to. The people you send them to can screenshot them, but it will notify the person who sent it that you have.” 

“And…that’s a bad thing?” He asked. 

You giggle. “It is if you send something you don’t want them to save.”  

He looks even more confused, if possible. “But what would you be sending to someone, for only ten seconds, that you wouldn’t want them to necessarily save?” 

A smile burst out across your face as you caught Emily’s eyes. You looked back at Spencer, your smirk growing. “Nudes, Doctor Reid. Salacious, naughty, nude pictures of yourself.” 

A blush immediately deepened on his cheeks. “Oh.”

“Oh, is right, pretty boy,” Derek laughed. 

You and Emily caught each other's eyes again, laughing along with Derek. Sometimes you thought it was fun to poke fun at him, too. 

—---------------- 

The case ended up being harder than any of you thought it would be. Apparently, the unsub was also a technological genius, almost outsmarting Garcia at multiple turns. The case ended up taking you over a week to solve. 

On the jet on the way back to Quantico, it was quiet. Most of the team was laid out trying to catch a bit of sleep before landing, since it was past midnight by the time you got back on the plane. 

You settled yourself in at the small table towards the front, since most of the team had taken to the back. You pulled out your phone, ready to check on your work emails, things you’ve missed since being with the team for this case. 

“Sending salacious, naughty things on snapchat?” Emily said with a smirk, settling in the chair across from you. 

You scoffed, smirking back. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Prentiss.” 

She leaned forward in her seat a little, resting her arms on the table in front of you both. Her button up shirt split open just a tad more, exposing more of her smooth skin. You peeked down quickly, before catching her eyes again. “Actually, I would,” she said. Bringing out her phone, she opened her snapchat and just said, “Add me,” while showing you her snapchat username. 

You glanced at her phone, before looking back at her. Her look was almost unnerving, confident in a way you hadn’t seen before. A challenge, you thought. 

You pulled out your phone, opened your app, and added her. You decided to send her a picture of herself, sitting across from you, with a label across the screen that just said, “look at this pain in my ass.” 

Emily’s phone dinged with the notification, and she looked down at her phone before laughing, actually laughing, at what you’d sent to her. 

“Fair enough, y/n.” 

—------- 

You made it back to your apartment close to almost two in the morning. Utterly exhausted, you threw your keys on the entrance table, shuffled your shoes off, and headed into the kitchen for some water. 

While pouring a glass, your phone dinged on the counter. Sighing, expecting something work related at this ungodly hour, your heart leaped into your throat. 

A notification. On snapchat. From Emily. 

You knew her apartment was closer to the Bureau than yours was, so she’s likely already been home for over half an hour. 

Staring at your phone, you couldn’t figure out if you wanted it to be a tame picture of the cat you knew she had, or…something…more. 

But there was no way that Emily knew of your crush. You were so careful. 

But, she was a top profiler, you thought. Maybe she could read you better than you thought. 

Rubbing your palms on your pants to rid them of the sweat that seemed to come from nowhere, you picked up your phone. Swiping on the notification, your app opened. Hesitating just a second, you pressed on her snap. 

Oh my. 

The picture itself wasn’t terribly revealing. A glimpse of that skin you caught on the jet earlier. The top of her shoulder. A collarbone. The strap of a lacy black bra barely hanging on. 

“Goodnight, y/n. Sweet dreams,” it read. 

Ten seconds wasn’t nearly enough. You wish you had screenshot it.  

—---- 

Your dreams that night were plagued by lace and skin, a thankful reprieve from your typical nightmares. 

Still, you slept pitifully. Never getting more than an hour of sleep in a row before you’d wake up tossing and turning. 

Seven in the morning came much too soon. The alarm blaring forced you to finally get up and start your day. 

It was going to be a long one. 

—--- 

“Wow, y/l/n, you look like death warmed over,” Morgan said from his desk. 

You groaned. “I feel like it.” You headed to Hotch’s office. If there wasn’t a new case, you were sure you were going to be sent back to your home base in New York. You passed by Emily, who looked up at you from her desk. She smiled at you before hiding it by taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Late night, y/n?” 

“Just couldn’t sleep well, I guess,” you said, continuing to walk past her. Don’t give her the satisfaction. 

“Why? Something keeping you up?” You could hear the taunt in her voice. Like she knew you couldn’t sleep because of her.

“Just some dreams, still hyped up from the case. Nothing out of the ordinary,” you mumbled. You kept walking, not making eye contact with her. Today is definitely going to be a long day. 

—---- 

“Your work on the past two cases have been immeasurable, y/n,” Hotch said, sitting at his desk across from you. 

“Thank you, sir. I’ve enjoyed working with your team these past few months.” 

“Let me cut to the chase. How would you feel about transferring here to Quantico?” He settled his hands in front of him. 

Your face scrunched. You definitely hadn’t expected that. “Sir?” 

“Like I said, your work has been crucial for these past two cases. It’s been noticed by some very important people. If you want the transfer to the BAU and D.C. permanently, it’s yours.” 

You couldn’t believe it. You were sure he was going to thank you for your work, but send you back to New York. The shot you’ve been waiting for was here. And, if it gave you the opportunity to explore whatever was happening with Emily, you weren’t going to pass it up. “Absolutely, sir. This is where I want to be.” 

You thought Hotch almost smiled. Almost. 

A knock sounded at the door. JJ poked her head through. “Sorry to interrupt. We’ve caught another one. A bad one. And we could use y/n.”  

“Conference room in five,” Hotch said. “Welcome to the team, y/n.” 

—--- 

In the conference room, Hotch announced to the team of your transfer before JJ could go into the case. 

“Y/n has graciously accepted an offer to transfer into the BAU permanently,” Hotch said, looking at his team. 

“Yes! This is so exciting!” Penelope clapped. This case, apparently, also needed her to be briefed. You smiled at her enthusiasm. 

“Congrats, y/n. Welcome to the badass club,” Morgan said, smiling at you. 

“Welcome to the team, y/n. Now we can talk more about Doctor Who!” Reid exclaimed. He found out of your love of the show from the mug you’ve been drinking out of while you’ve been here. You shook your head at his eager geekiness. 

“I can’t wait, Reid,” you smiled. “Thanks everyone. It’s been a pleasure working with you all these past few months and I can’t wait to learn more from each of you.” Glancing at Emily, you saw her wink at you. You immediately felt your cheeks flush. 

“Alright, let’s get into this next one,” Hotch said. 

JJ pressed the clicker bringing up the next set of case photos, jumping into the briefing. “Wyoming. We’ve got five bodies so far. Clues to their whereabouts were posted on snapchat. We think the unsub is a young twenty-something, based on the voice in the video that we have, but we can’t be sure.” 

You grimaced. Sounds like another social media fiasco. 

—- 

You once again settle yourself in the front chair of the jet, immediately pulling out your notebook and phone to start making notes about the case. Your mind worked best if you could write down thoughts as you had them, and then go back and analyze them. You already had some ideas about this case and, with how complex it already sounded, you needed to keep track of what you were thinking. 

“So, y/n, what are your thoughts on using snapchat for this case?” Spencer said from his seat on the sofa. The rest of the team loading onto the plane listened in as they made themselves comfortable. Emily, of course, sat across from you again. 

You cleared your throat. “Well, like I explained with the last case, snapchat allows its users to send videos that disappear after the chosen time frame. Since the unsub is sending videos from different accounts, no one knows when to screen record them, so it makes having the videos for us to analyze even harder. I’m surprised we even have the one video. This unsub is clearly seeking attention, but still wants to remain a mystery. They’re creating a game and expecting people to play.” 

“How do we get access to the videos, then?” Derek asked. 

You sighed. “Snapchat will sometimes let us into their servers. But they don’t keep the videos or user information long. It’s kind of their whole thing. I’m hoping Garcia will have some luck back tracing. Otherwise…we play along.” 

You could feel the tension in the air. Playing along meant finding more bodies, usually.

As everyone got settled and the plane took off, you went back to your notebook, scribbling things down as they popped into your mind. You’d share with the team once they were more concrete ideas. As you wrote down a thought, you glanced up. Everyone was seated, except Emily. You just assumed she went to the bathroom. Continuing to write your idea about the multiple snapchat accounts, your phone dinged.

A snapchat notification. 

From Emily. 

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. If it was anything like the one from last night, you weren’t sure you wanted to open it in a confined space with all of your colleagues. But, if it was like the one from last night, you didn’t want to wait. You wanted to see. 

The decision was made for you when Emily settled back into her seat across from you. She looked you up and down, noticing the slight flush on your cheeks and neck, the way you bit your lip, and the notification highlighted on your phone. 

She smirked at you. You were really starting to hate (love?) that smirk. “Gonna check that?” She asked, looking at your phone. 

You glanced down at it, turning the screen black. “Nope. Nothing important,” you shrugged. 

Emily leaned forward again. Mirroring the pose she gave you last time you were in this position. Except this time, there was no added sliver of skin. She licked her lips, raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that, y/n?” 

You breathed in heavily through your nose. You weren’t sure if it was the right move, but you picked up your phone. You peeked back up at her before hitting the notification. 

She was sitting back against the seat, almost too relaxed. A lazy sort of confident grin on her face, her elbow on the armrest, her hand resting against her face, chewing slightly on her thumb nail. Waiting. Watching you. 

You hit the notification. 

And you had to stop yourself from dropping your phone…or your jaw. 

There on your screen was Emily. Or rather, her lower abdomen. Her shirt was untucked, held up by her hand. Her pants slung low on her hips, unbuttoned. A portion of red lace visible. 

You knew you were being examined. But you didn’t care. This time, you didn’t make the same mistake. 

You took the screenshot. 

Emily’s smile widened. 

Your blush deepened, but you couldn’t help smiling back. 

—-- 

The day was almost too much. You spent most of it with the team at the local police station going over ideas and tactics to find the unsub. You were happy to be back at the hotel for the night. You needed some time to unwind. 

After undressing and getting the water temperature right in the shower, your phone dings with a notification. Your heart starts to race, hoping it is what you think it is. 

Reaching for the phone, your breath starts to quicken. Snapchat. Emily. It’s starting to become your favorite notification. You bite your lip while pressing on the notification. 

Holy. Fuck. 

You’re not sure how she got the picture, but whatever she did, you’re thankful. 

It’s almost boudoir-like. It’s a side profile shot, Emily leaned in a door frame of her hotel room. She’s in nothing but her bra and underwear; you have no idea what color they are because the photo is black and white. Her back is arched against the frame, one arm stretched slightly above her head, the other resting on her lower abdomen, the tips of her fingers just under the elastic of her underwear. One foot is propped up a little on the frame, highlighting her thigh and calf muscles. You can’t see her face, as it’s shrouded by her dark locks. 

Before the time runs out, you screenshot that one too. 

A second later, a chat notification: “Like what you see?” 

It’s at this point that you decide to not let her win whatever gauntlet she thinks she has thrown down. 

You quickly take a shower, not wanting to miss out on the hot water. 

When you’re done, you leave your hair as is. Without brushing it through, it’s got a little wave to it. You grab one of the fluffy white towels and set up your phone on the bathroom sink. You place the towel across your body, but don’t wrap it all the way around you. You use one arm to hold the towel across your chest, barely covering your nipples, making sure to push your breasts up a little to deepen your cleavage. You set the timer on your phone. You use your other hand to drag the bottom of the towel up from your mid-thigh. Doing so leaves almost nothing to the imagination; there’s skin visible on each side of the towel. Everything is covered, but it feels like almost nothing is. 

You type a quick “Like what you see?” across the bottom of the picture and send it to Emily. 

You smirk. Two can play that game, Prentiss. 

You finish your nightly routine, getting dressed in just some underwear and an oversized t-shirt, your preferred sleepwear. 

You’re just about to get into bed when there’s a knock at the door. You look at the clock. Who’s knocking on my door at almost midnight? 

You pull the door open, standing a little behind it, covering up the fact that you aren’t wearing pants. “Emily?” 

“Let me in, y/n,” she says. 

She’s got this look on your face you’ve only seen at crime scenes. Determined. Confident. Ready for anything. 

“Em, it’s almost midnight, I was just getting ready to get into bed,” you hesitate. 

“Does it look like I care? Let. Me. In.” 

You knew she’d back down if you really wanted her to. But you didn’t. 

You opened the door, staying behind it as much as possible. When she passes through it, she pushes it closed, exposing you to her. 

She looks you up and down. You can feel how hungry her gaze is. It makes you stagger back a little into the door she just came through. “Emily, I-” you start. 

“Uh uh. Quiet,” she says. Her voice is low, almost a whisper. More gravelly than you’ve ever heard it. She walks forward, pinning your body to the door. She’s not even touching you yet and you’re already panting. “Do you know what that picture did to me, y/n?” 

Your eyes are wide as you stare at her. You slightly shake your head. 

“I was in bed. Lights out, ready to sleep. I thought you weren’t going to respond. Was just about to put my phone down for the night and roll over. Then I got that.” She paused, took a deep breath, so close to you that you could smell her shampoo. “I never thought you’d take the bait, y/n, but I was so happy you did. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Naked, dripping wet, and teasing me.” She brought one of her hands up to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear. You shakily inhaled. “Tell me you want this, want me, y/n. Tell me, so I can make both of our dreams come true.” 

You could hardly breathe. Emily standing so close to you made it almost impossible to think let alone speak. You nodded quickly. 

“Words, y/n. Use your words.” 

With a deep breath, you sighed, “I want you, Emily.” 

She crushed her lips to yours. 

—--- 

a/n: this story got away from me and I've been awake way too long. Wanted to post it anyways. I'm thinking a part - two might be in order if the collective agrees? ;) also sorry for any typos lol

[frigid666]

"society coddles teenage girls" and "society listens and cares about teenage girls' feelings and mental health" should be laughably wrong assertions to anyone with even a cursory knowledge about internet gore/shock and true crime history.

cw: please exercise extreme caution if u decide to google any of these cases. i have included links/articles i have vetted as being safe for further research, but it is very easy to stumble upon graphic crime scene photos.

rina palenkova (x): famously known as a casuality of the 'blue whale' or suicide game, which saw a brief stint of popularity among troubled teens in the 2010s. her crime scene photos (suicide via decapitation by train) were widely circulated on gore sites, and her memory was mocked and ridiculed by the unsympathetic masses. people would leave demeaning and insulting comments on posts with her photos. no regard at all for her mental health or what could have driven her to such extremes like taking her own life. she is sickeningly known as an internet darling in the more unsavory parts of the internet due to the sheer virality of her photos.

amanda todd (x): she was a victim of extortion by an online predator, who leveraged a compromising screenshot of her for further csa material. when she refused to comply with his demands, he destroyed her life by sharing her topless photo on facebook. as a result, she became a social pariah and turned to abusing substances to cope. she ultimately took her own life at age 17, leaving behind a video (x) she had made months prior sharing her story of extortion and bullying. now she is remembered as a victim of blackmail and online predation, but at the time she was largely ridiculed and blamed for the entire ordeal; more emphasis was placed on why she flashed her webcam as a tween than on why an adult man would solicit sexual content from a young girl. it is believed a prior unsuccessful suicide attempt of hers helped popularized the term "go drink bleach."

bianca devins (x): she was brutally murdered by an incel she was friends with after they attended a nicole dollanganger concert together and she kissed another boy. due to jealousy, he cut her throat and then took photos of her body and posted them to various social media platforms, including his instagram and the discord group they were both members of. these photos were saved and posted to other social media platforms like 4chan and went viral. incels took control of the narrative, and smeared bianca as an "e-thot" and "slut" who deserved to be murdered for "leading on" her killer. bianca had struggled her for most of her life with depression and anxiety, and had turned to discord for friendship. her mother, stepfather and sister have been harassed with the photo. the circulation of the photo was so widespread that nicole dollanganger herself asked her fans and social media users alike to stop spreading the image. bianca's mother advocated for a new law to be passed to avoid the circulation of such images.

nicole "nikki" catsouras (x): she was a california teen who died in a violent car accident following an argument with her father. she suffered disfiguring injuries and died at the scene. photos of the scene, which included the shocking state of her body, were taken per police protocol. however, these pictures were leaked to the internet following crime scene technicians forwarding the photos to various parties for "personal viewing." i will let u guys speculate what these recipients were doing with her photos. nikki herself received little sympathy for her passing, as traces of cocaine were found in her system, so it was widely assumed the crash was a result of her personal negligence. her family was terrorized with her crime scene photos by online trolls; the photos have been sent to her parents' personal emails, social media, and they even pulled nikki's sister out of school due to fear she may be exposed to the photos by classmates. like palenkova, nikki is famous in the shock/gore community due to her post-mortem photos and viciously mocked to this day.

it is not lost on me that many of the most viral photos of dead bodies on the internet are those of teenage girls. the gendered state of gore virality becomes even more obvious if u include young women into the pool. elizabeth short (x) and evelyn mchale (x) are two more examples. short (also nicknamed "the black dahlia") was brutally murdered and mutilated, and mchale died by suicide. the latter had even made it known through her suicide note that she wished to not be remembered or publicized for her death, yet the photos of her body, dubbed "the most beautiful suicide" were widely published in the papers and sensationalized. these photos are of women and girls at their lowest and most vulnerable, yet society (and especially male-dominated audiences) used their likenesses as entertainment. their deceased bodies are reduced to a spectacle, and in more extreme cases, as a weapon against her surviving family.

society decidedly doesn't care about teenage girls' mental health or dignity, so i wish this lie would stop that they are somehow more cherished and protected than teenage boys.

as an aside, this is one of the reasons why i don't believe "pretty privilege" is real in any meaningful way. the perceived physical attractiveness of these deceased women and girls was absolutely a factor in the virality of their post-mortem images. people (especially men) love to see the aftermath of the destruction of a beautiful woman/girl.

[goblintoothfairy]

I've just started working with teenagers who come from rough backgrounds, have mental health and behavioural issues, and struggle to stay in school. A couple of the boys can be pretty bigoted - racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, you name it - but one especially is.

We took a few of them out to do some activities and had a pretty fun day. This kid who didn't know that I'm queer and trans was saying all day about how he liked me. Then he gets back to the centre and out of nowhere starts talking about how he hates gay people, how he beat up his brother for being gay and how it's not natural.

So I sat down with him and we talked about it. I listened to him say a bunch of slurs and spout more homophobic shit before telling him that I'm not straight.

I didn't know how he'd react - a few people thought he might get violent. But he listened, and asked questions. About my identity, about when I 'chose' to be gay, all of that.

We talked for a while, and he concluded that he was OK with lesbians existing but he was still disgusted by gay men. Evidently we've still got some work to do on that. Then he said: "But I hate trannies, though."

I didn't know how to react for a second. I hadn't planned on coming out to him - I didn't think I could do it safely, partly because of his beliefs and partly because of wider attitudes about trans people in the UK at the moment. But I told him: "I'm trans, actually."

He put his head in his hands and seemed embarrassed. Good. His mate looked at him and asked why he decided to say that.

And surprisingly this kid listened to me again, and genuinely seemed to want to have a discussion with me. He told me about his beliefs about trans people and I heard him out, and then challenged them. I talked to him about dysphoria: "how would you feel if you woke up with tits tomorrow?" We discussed my nonbinary identity (predictably, he made an attack helicopter joke). And I told him about how I don't feel safe at night because of being trans - something he could relate to, in a sense, cause these kids deal with a lot of violence.

Sure, he was still saying a bunch of homophobic and transphobic stuff. But he told me that even though he doesn't like queer people, he likes me. And I think that that cognitive dissonance alone could spark a change of attitude in him. It's going to take time, and a lot more conversations. But I have faith in him, I think, and I'm proud of him for sitting down and talking with me.

It's really fucking scary being a trans person in education right now. Hearing about the education guidance targeting trans kids, reading all of the TERF rhetoric in the news and on social media, hearing about all of the shit going on in the US... It's enough to make you want to quit, and I don't blame queer educators for quitting. But even though it can be shit being the unofficial representative of your entire community, I'm honoured that I can be here and hopefully, eventually, change some of these kids' minds.

[talenlee]

Can a Bird Love A Falcon

Since last year’s Locked Tomb readings got me nostalgic and retrospective, it was only a matter of time before I retreated back to earliest media of my post-cult life, the stuff that stands tall in my mind as some of my first lessons in how to be normal. So I picked the thing with a bunch of PTSD and existential horror.

Let’s talk about the Rachel/Tobias ship.

Spoiler Warning: If you’re ever planning on reading the Animorphs story, this article is going to spoil some events that happen in the last half of it. And since this is about Animorphs I guess Content Warning for war death trauma body integrity horror uh mind control uh cannibalism uh what’s the term for beating someone to death with one of your own severed limbs, that.

That.

Animorphs is a lot.

There’s not a lot of romantic material in Animorphs, but it’s there. It’s almost expertly defined in negative space – the way that actual teenagers consider and tease at the idea of boyfriend-girlfriend-joyfriend stuff without saying it, without any of it being explicit. Like nobody sits down and makes a list of reasons to want to date someone, it’s often just about emotional reactions to momentary stimuli, things that imprint on the brain and are being tested out bit by bit. It’s hard to grapple with for me to get in the right mind space, but remembering the Animorphs characters are, like, fourteen and not Anime-Fourteen but fourteen fourteen is pretty big in explaining how and why they react to things.

In that space, though, there’s the sorta-maybe-hey-thinking-about-it-do-they-kiss romance of Rachel and Tobias. Rachel is a girl repeatedly described as being hot, by her cousin, a tall, blonde girl who also is hiding the instincts of a violent warrior, a girl thrown into a war and commanded to be an adult, and she actually takes to it well. Like, in a different framing device, Rachel is the antagonist of a teen serial killer story. Tobias, by contrast, is what you might these days consider something of a droopy sadboy – floppy hair, skinny, no friends, unappreciated, bounced between abusive carers that aren’t properly parents, and then at the end of the very first story he turns into a hawk, never* to turn back again.

Oh and he’s also secretly an alien prince, but don’t worry, nobody ever tells him that.

It’s not even like it’s a complicated ship, in a lot of ways. As a loser of a boy, it was really just the shape of the most standard fantasy possible: What if there was the hottest girl in the world, who for reasons beyond both your control, had reason to hang out with you, become emotionally invested in you, and then from there, ha ha, you got ’em! You’re basically married at that point as long as no circumstances change the status quo where you get to hang around her regularly!

And then, thanks to you trying too hard and being too awesome, you have to leave your old life behind, embracing a new life, a new reality where none of your responsibilities persisted, your bad family were gone, and you have a reason to be socially connected with four extremely cool people who were probably not really your friends to start with. Oh and one of them is really hot and can kill everyone who bothers you. I mean beats up everyone. I mean she can protect you with her big, strong arms that are also fuzzy because she is a bear, and when she’s not a bear she’s basically Genius Barbie.

From her perspective, she can pick who she likes but instead of a boy who has Conventional Interests and connects to her life, she gets a boyfriend who is a secret. Also, he’s paradoxically, dangerous and very safe; they’re not sexually compatible in terms of their bodies, it’s very hard to argue that Tobias is interested in her because of her body and how their bodies relate. As a romantic partner, Tobias has to be interested in her for herself. At the same time, he’s a goddamn hawk, and hawks are really cool and badass and scary, and she can have him cruising around on her shoulder like she’s a pirate.

I obviously liked this ship as a kid because both of the halves were hot. It wasn’t just that Rachel was gorgeous but also that Tobias looked really good for kissing, and that meant they’d both have a fun time kissing, right? Obviously? This is a very straight way to consider ships, especially ships where I both wanted to be and kiss Tobias. Because again, he was hot. Right?

The canon of Animorphs actually deep-sixes the ship, early and late. There’s a middle period where the ship can happen, but there’s an after and a before, and the before is ‘when Tobias and Rachel barely know each other.’ They do eventually get a chance to do more conventional ship stuff – like holding hands and kissing – but that’s See, and I know you might not remember this: Rachel dies. Her last book is her relating her story, in her dying moments, to a god-figure, and there we get one of the enduring quotes of the series:

“You were brave, you were strong, you were good. You mattered.”

And before that quote, Rachel, reflecting on that moment, says that Tobias would not have let her get into the position where she was dying. He wouldn’t, because he loved her. And that’s some nice ship material but it would be nicer if it wasn’t happening as a character is dying.

Now you might think, hang on, this is a het ship. That’s not what I normally talk about around here! And you might be surprised, but consider this. This is a woman, and the lover who she cannot touch, who she cannot embrace, because there is a wrongness to it. The body of that lover does not properly align with their identity. The girl is positioned forever stand at a love that expresses itself through mostly, not expressing itself.

An eagle and a girl, is that not, itself, yuri?

Okay, I know it’s not. Personally, I have very little patience for ‘ah, two unrelated things is yuri’ jokes because it’s a wheelie everyone pops but also because, like, yeah, maybe it’s great to capture all the metaphorical ways we’ve suppressed women’s relatoinships but also maybe you could have them like hold hands and say they’re interested in one another. Like, that’s an option. Imagine if more yuri felt they could do that, even. What a world.

But anyway, thing is, Tobias, as a character, is a figure Important To The 90s Trans community, along with other such icons as Bugs Bunny and Ranma Saotome. There’s a fairly common thread through Tobias’ narrated books where he reflects on a determined tragedy (who he has been told he has to be) and the freedom of change (as being able to freely choose an identity and presentation through morphing). Applegate has been pretty clear that whatever vision of the characters’ sexuality and gender relationships work for you are effectively canon – they’re characters shared through the experience of reading and all that.

I’m not saying every nonbinary or trans kid from the 90s will respond to ‘Thermals’ and ‘Cinnabunzzzzz’ but a bunch will and it’s a trend worth noting.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[techramonic]

I suppose one topic I could ask would be, do you think the klebolds and harriss’ should’ve been charged?

like when wayne found the pipe bomb materials + a completed pipe bomb in eric’s room he just made him get rid of the bomb, but he still have him back the materials. I believe I also saw a post a while back that listed some times sue was neglectful of dylan (and they were basing that off of things she said in her book) - isaiah shoels’s father believed they should’ve be charged, so what are your thoughts regarding that?

Hundred percent have to agree with Isaiah Shoels' father with this. I do think they deserve to at least be given a penalty or amercement of some sort. While their sons are the perpetrators of the massacre, they were still their responsibility in the first place and were still under their care.

Basically, a family, or primary group in sociological terms, is responsible for shaping the values of its children. This social group plays a crucial role in determining the culture they grow into. While secondary groups, such as educational institutions and media, also significantly influence children, the primary group remains the strongest bond as it provides the necessary security and support, especially if the secondary group becomes a toxic environment. That's what their parents failed to provide. They hadn't noticed or ignored the signs until it was too late. The security and support system the two needed was not non-existent but rather too weak for them to see that it was there.

It was also Eric and Dylan's fault that yhey hadn't communicated, but when a child doesn't communicate, that's because their parents exhibited reaskns for them not to.

I believe that the situation was not "inevitable", because they wouldn't have done the shooting if they were given the proper help they needed. The two were desperate for the attention needed to garner help and even exhibited many warning signs in different ways, countless of times. Even if one may say they haven't communicated enough, if you delve deep into their eccentric behaviors, there's a redundancy and repetitiveness to their violent tendancies that's enough for a parent to be worried and see that something is wrong with their child. Their parents should've caught on, after one red flag to another. They shouldn't have ignored it or swept things under the rug; blame it on some teenage hormones and media consumption or "boys will be boys". These teens were actually facing serious mental issues that were left to be unchecked and/or unregulated.

It's an unfortunate event that left many families with a tragedy. One that left them to try and fix things that Eric and Dylan have destroyed. The two of them even destroyed themselves while trying to make their statement. Their parents are a part of that too, however, we need to consider that this tragedy wouldn't have happened if not for the sociopsychological needs they had that were unmet and manifested in their destructive behaviors that soon became irreversible actions.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

queerdeadwizards' fic rec list

(a/n: if you do not see my friends' fics on here, it's because i am making a fic rec list where there are no fics of my friends; i might be subjective, and i am friends with amazing writers, so you can safely assume that i am recommending all of their fics.)

Sunflowers & Sweetpeas by katialena

Language: English, WIP. Current Word Count: 7,462

Found Family takes a lot of work, but there is always room for one more. Even while teenage romance gets... complicated?

Texting/Social Media Fic Part Three. In Progress.

marginalia by spindrifters

Language: English, WIP. Current Word Count: 192,506

This story began a long time ago. That part is already written. Nothing can be done about it now. It began with two young men—barely more than boys—who upended the world, magical and mundane alike. Grindelwald and Dumbledore, glorious leaders of the revolution, who brought wizardkind out of hiding and into the light during those last, violent days of 1899.

But a winter's night seventy-seven years later is where things really kick off.

Because Remus Lupin knows what to expect when you’ve been sold somewhere new. He knows it better than he ever thought he'd have to by this point. He knows how to survive. And Sirius Black is doing his best to just graduate Hogwarts and get himself and his brother away from this goddamn house. He's got it figured out by now. He has a plan.

Neither of them, however, had accounted for the other messing everything up by the mere fact of just existing.

(Or, the one where Sirius is heir to a pureblood first family and Remus is a half-blood servant, but a chance meeting leads to healing old wounds, stumbling into love, and just maybe accidentally kickstarting a revolution.)

you wouldn’t like me by crushofdoves

Language: English, WIP. Current Word Count: 20,339

It’s 2005 and Sirius is trying to figure out his gender, his brother, and his new crush.

My Only Sunshine by Loua29xx

Language: English, Completed Work. Word Count: 28,973

“Sirius Orion Black, you are charged with the murder of Remus John Lupin,” Sirius draws in a shaky breath at the name, “in regards to this offence, do you plead guilty or not guilty?”

Guilty.

*******

Standing trial for the murder of the man he loves most in the world, Sirius can’t help but look back on his time with the light of his life. His sunshine.

[onheirpodcast]

Who is Marius Borg Høiby?

He's the subject of our most recent episode, but who is he?

Marius is the son of Crown Princess Mette-Marit and Morten Borg. He was born in January 1997. At the time of his birth his father was in prison for drug-related violent crimes and Mette-Marit was his primary caregiver for much of his early life.

Around late 1999 his mother started a relationship with Crown Prince Haakon of Norway. The press pounced, with Mette-Marit later criticising members of the media for following a 3 year old Magnus and photographing him playing in the park. Haakon appeared out with the little boy regularly, and seemed to be a hands on figure in Marius's life.

Haakon and Mette-Marit married in 2001 and while Marius was welcomed by the rest of the Norwegian royal family, he did not receive a royal title and was not a member of the Royal House (those in the main line expected to work for the royal family). He was joined by younger siblings Princess Ingrid Alexandra in 2004 and Prince Sverre Magnus in 2005.

Over the years Marius appeared at important events and in official photos alongside the rest of the royal family and occasionally featured in the press, for example in an article about his use of social media as a teenager and whether it posed a security risk.

When he turned 20 years old in 2017 his mother released an open letter requesting that Marius be treated like a private citizen:

“Marius has always had a role that has been very difficult to define among the public...Marius became a symbol for the unusual choice we made when we married; at the same time that he has no official duties like his siblings. He shall not have a public role and is not a public person.”

However, the press did continue to cover Marius, especially as he appeared to be struggling to find his way. He dropped out of education, moved from career to career, and had generated some negative headlines after accusations that he had acted recklessly on his motorbike and had implied he was a Norwegian prince to advance his career. But he seemed to remain an important part of the royal family, being mentioned by Princess Ingrid Alexandra in her 18th birthday speech in 2022:

"Marius. Thank you for everything I have learned from you, and for being able to talk to me about everything. Thank you for always being there to protect me."

Marius is now at the centre of a media storm after being arrested and accused of assault, threats, and vandalism directed at his girlfriend at the time. The girlfriend was left with a concussion. Two ex-partners have since come forward to accuse Marius of being physically and psychologically abusive and a large number of stories have surfaced in the press about other concerning behaviours from Marius, including a 2017 conviction for drug possession.

[seriousbrat]

If you were to modernise the dynamics of the marauders versus Snape to today’s landscape, how would it be? I think ideas and representations of bullies, popular kids, oddball kids, have all changed a lot - but they still find insidious ways to be mean to each other. Politics have also become more polarised and complex to navigate. Where would they fit?

This is an interesting question! I'm not sure if you mean if they were muggles, or just how I think the dynamics would be represented differently if the books were written today. I do think a lot of the themes are still very relevant today, and in some cases, even more relevant-- for instance the way Snape is a great parallel to the way modern day teenage boys fall down the alt-right pipeline online and become incels. Obviously young boys being radicalised isnt a new thing, but the reason the incel movement fits so well with Snape's story is because of how it's tied to his unrequited feelings for Lily, which seem to mirror the stereotypical narrative of the average sad loner incel who is eternally overlooked by the girl he likes. "Friendzoned" if you will, in favour of the "chad" "alpha male" James, which causes him to join a hate group in rage over the unfairness of life lmao. It fits so well that it's almost prophetic.

You can probably chart the changes in people's attitude towards Snape as time has passed. When DH came out, most people's (including myself) reaction to the Snape reveal was "aww, how sad, poor Snape" and he was viewed as romantic and heroic and tragic for loving Lily. At the time, if you think about it, the story of the shy loser nerd who is in love with and eventually gets the pretty girl was allllll over film and television, and people by and large sympathised with those characters and rooted for them and cursed the girl for not giving this nice guy who loved her soooo much a chance.

In a post-gamergate world, however, we've seen the consequences of male entitlement, because the incel movement is based on the belief that all men inherently deserve access to women. Very often, these consequences are violent. We're incredibly jaded by this and nowadays those sorts of characters are viewed as creepy, entitled, and given little sympathy. as it should be, imo, but you can definitely see how this has altered fan perception of Snape who is generally reviled, particularly by younger fans.

Personally, though, I think this modern lens can make his story more powerful, because it's not about whether Lily should have given him a chance (she shouldn't have) it's about the fact that his actions in the end were truly selfless, the opposite of entitlement. Lily's death was the catalyst, but if it was just about Snape's selfish desire then what is the motivation? She can never love him if she's dead, and there are moments that prove his change of heart, such as his yelling at Phineas for saying "Mudblood" when he previously used the word freely. If it was written today (i mean who knows, it is jkr after all) I think there would probably be more focus on that aspect of Snape than the fact that he loved Lily, which simply doesn't have the impact it once did. people are unimpressed by that narrative, but I think the story of a sincerely reformed incel could still be powerful. Maybe. I think people are also less forgiving nowadays haha, but I still think that teen incels growing up and seeing the error of their ways is a good thing. They may not deserve medals for it, but it's still what we should want for them.

As for the bullying, obviously if they were modern day muggles the internet would be a huge factor, as social media is hugely important for kids nowadays and a lot of bullying takes the form of cyberbullying. I honestly think the themes of class differences and bullying in general are still just as relevant today as they ever were-- although I think we've seen how modern interpretations of SWM have changed. "James SA'd him" was not even remotely a discussion back in the day, I've talked about this before so I don't want to get into it, but it's a good example of something that might be different if it was written today. At the time, that would have just been a typical example of schoolyard bullying, but modern day sensibilities view it differently. The same goes for Snape's mistreatment of his students-- at the time he would have been an average 'mean teacher,' now we view it as abusive. Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong, both offences are incredibly serious and should be viewed as such. I think particularly in the case of SWM it would be written differently today-- in the case of Snape's behaviour as a teacher there's a certain suspension of disbelief just because Hogwarts is a magical school and things there are less realistic. On the other hand, James was a minor and Snape was an adult, so irl different standards would apply.

Anyway, sorry that got so long, it's an interesting topic!

[anniecr3sta]

 ࣪⊹𐙚 silly scream oc (matching with my lovely friend marty!)

warning! terribly long info dump on a dumb oc.

⊹ (ghostface 1) phineas ‘finn’ morgan is a 17 year old boy (born 6th of february 1983) who lives in woodsboro, CA. on the surface, he is an average teenager with a big passion for cycling, postcards and true crime. he lives with his mother, candace, and his sister, eliza, since his father died in a freak accident in his job as an electrician, getting burnt alive by a stray wire. that event deeply effected him for the rest of his life, giving him a fuckton of unresolved trauma for which he refuses to go to therapy for.

instead, he coped with his father’s violent death and absence by consuming crime and violent media. his life at home was not the best but not terribly out of the ordinary: he and his sister got along fine, even if sometimes she told her friends that her brother was “weird” because he never let her into his room. he doesn’t interact with his mother a whole lot, especially because she insists he needs therapy . even if at school he seems like a completely average teenage boy, even doing a lot of extra curriculars like track and the math olympiad, all of his time consuming true crime media (not in the way intended, with an eye of admiration) led him down a path of obsession with murders: not the people who commit them, but the idea of taking the life away from somebody. he was very careful to not let that actually show, trying to cover it up by making friends and being as social as possible while also still being paranoid that everyone around him could be a killer. he became a decently popular boy, pretty average at the same time, but still liked. then he met allison, who he also thought liked through crime and he kind of leeched on to her, declaring her his ‘best friend’ without really asking her what she thought about it.

for personality, he is definitely a ‘golden retriever’ on the surface: friendly, open and always available to help when needed— if sometimes a bit naïve and overly clingy. it’s also terribly easy to convince him to do things if you’re his friend. like i explained earlier he also had an obsession with morbid things and a crippling paranoia that everybody around him is planning to harm him in some way, which causes him to zone out frequently. he gets stringed along with allison’s obsession for billy loomis and kind of gets into it too, joining her on her attempt to recreate the woodsboro murders that happened just a few years earlier out of admiration and curiosity for the original case.

[beardedmrbean]

Australian police have declared Monday's stabbing at a Sydney church a religiously motivated "terrorist act".

A 16-year-old boy was arrested after a bishop, a priest and churchgoers were attacked during mass at the Assyrian Christ The Good Shepherd Church.

At least four people suffered "non-life-threatening" injuries, police say. The attacker was also hurt.

The incident was captured on a church livestream and quickly triggered unrest in the suburb of Wakeley.

Australian police define terror offences as being ideologically motivated. Investigations are still under way, but they say they are satisfied this is a case of religious extremism.

Authorities have repeatedly declined to state the religion of the alleged attacker.

The church has named the priest as Father Isaac Royel and the bishop as Mar Mari Emmanuel. Ordained in 2011, Bishop Emmanuel is seen as a popular and controversial figure, whose sermons receive millions of views on social media.

When graphic videos of the attack - and the aftermath - spread like wildfire online on Monday night, they drew an angry crowd to the Assyrian Orthodox Church, which is about 35km south-west of the city centre.

There, hundreds of people upset over the attack violently clashed with police, who were guarding the church where the alleged attacker was being held.

Two officers were injured - one suffering a broken jaw after he was hit with a brick and fence palings - and 10 police cars destroyed. The violence similarly left paramedics fearing for their safety and "holed up" inside the church for more than three hours.

Maria, a member of the Assyrian community, told Guardian Australia that those present outside the church following the attack were "reacting to what they were seeing on social media".

"There were many inflammatory posts making the rounds, people advocating for violence and such," she said.

"It was making lots of people very angry."

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has convened an emergency meeting of national security agencies, calling the attack "disturbing".

"We're a peace-loving nation... There's no place for violent extremism," he said. Trying to quell further violence, he urged that people "not take the law into their own hands".

Questioned about the role that social media played in Monday night's events, Mr Albanese said he "remained concerned" about it.

The government has told Meta, the parent company of Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp - as well as X, formerly known as Twitter - to remove offensive content relating to the attack from their platforms within 24 hours or face potential fines.

Speaking to media on Tuesday morning, New South Wales (NSW) Police Commissioner Karen Webb said the bishop and priest were undergoing surgery and were "lucky to be alive".

Ms Webb said the teenager allegedly made comments to the bishop as he approached, which were "centred around religion". Police believe that staging the attack during a livestreamed service was intended to be "intimidating not only [to] the parishioners in attendance, but those parishioners who were watching online".

She said the suspect was acting alone. While "known to police", he was not on any terror watch list.

During an interview with 2GB radio, state premier Chris Minns later confirmed reports that the teenager had previous knife crime charges and had been found with a blade at school in 2020.

The alleged offender has been in surgery after his fingers were injured, police said, adding it is unclear if he was hurt with his own weapon or when he was apprehended by the congregation.

The incident came just days after the nation was shocked by a separate and unrelated stabbing at a popular Sydney shopping centre, which left seven people dead.

"NSW is on edge and there's understandable community anxiety at the moment," said Mr Minns. He appealed for calm, echoing calls from religious and community leaders.

"Their message to their communities was universal and identical, and that is that they deplore violence in all forms, [and] that they have faith in the NSW Police to undertake their investigation," Mr Minns said.

Any attempt for "tit-for-tat" violence would be "met by the full force of the law", he added.

A strike force has also been assembled to find those involved in the riot, Ms Webb said: "We will find you and we will come and arrest you."

The head of the NSW Ambulance also called the behaviour from crowds "outrageous".

"Our people, that do nothing but go to care and help every single day, need to know that they've got the support of the community," Dominic Morgan said.

Christ The Good Shepherd Church, meanwhile, urged those holding a vigil outside the hospital where Mr Emmanuel is being treated to leave and to "respect his privacy and the safety of others".

The Wakeley neighbourhood is a hub for Sydney's small Christian Assyrian community, many of whom have fled persecution and war in Iraq and Syria.

Bishop Emmanuel is a prominent leader in that community, and is one of the "kindest, [most] authentic, genuine human beings", local MP Dai Le said.

However, the bishop has had a turbulent relationship with the Assyrian Church, reportedly being suspended for disobeying canons and forming a breakaway church.

In 2021, he became a vocal opponent of Covid-19 restrictions, describing lockdowns in Australia as slavery and arguing that vaccines were futile.