#Teaching the better minds in every generation

[blackknight-kai]

Hiiiii I love your Black Myth HCs! Finally worked up the courage to put an ask in ahahaha.

If you’re inclined, would love your take on a reader who gets very turned on watching DO/SW fight— maybe also wants to learn how to fight too? Cue awkward/flirty training sessions where DO/SW starts to realize what’s happening etc etc.

Even if this isn’t up your alley just wanna thank you for providing us with so much content!!

First ask in a while I know….thank you for your ask and I’m sorry it’s taken so long! (Side note for future asks - I’m open for MKR Wukong :) and I will be trying to get these asks done between work and my hand issues so look forward for more! Use my tag #bk kai writes to find my other Headcanons!!

Yes! I love this idea and honestly think about it a lot myself because my OC (generally) is one that can/wants to learn to fight depending on the AU.

Also, I legit fell in love with Wukong fighting Erlang in that opening scene AND I have a favorite move DO does through the game it’s…yeah it’s a thing okay? 🤣

Anyway!

As far as reader goes! (This is just one path my brain takes and I hope it came out okay!)

Getting hot under the collar watching him fight? Yeah. That’s happening. There’s something graceful yet powerful about him fighting. Every step is calculated from years of practice and every move made is times just perfectly. Sometimes there’s a misstep but generally? He’s so fluid with his movements it’s hard NOT to stare. He’s earned his confidence that’s for sure.

Watching the way he twirls his staff or even just simply walking backwards and while he may look almost relaxed you know he’s ready for anything his enemy throws at him. That self assurance is intoxicating.

And depending on what armor he’s wearing? Even better. Because honestly, watching his muscles at work is…well your eyes have a hard time looking anywhere else. He’s gorgeous. His grunts and noises of effort also start to get to you, making your cheeks warm as your brain images those sounds during…other instances.

Fairly quickly you realize you have a huge problem. You’re getting a little TOO warm under your clothes as he fights. Feeling squirmy and hot as he does that one move that always sends a tingle down your spine. You do your best of course to play it off later and calm yourself down but…at night when you’re resting? The striking image of him in battle plays in your mind and you can only hope he doesn’t notice. (Or notice when you linger while bathing to…..have some you time.)

Unfortunately…He can always feel you watching. In the beginning he wondered what you were thinking about, did he scare you? Did you think he over did it? Were you curious about how to fight? But after catching your awed stare out of the corner of his eye he realized you LIKE the show he puts on to some degree. And so that’s what he does. He likes having an audience and especially your attention. So while he may not know the full extent of your thoughts and feelings as you watch him fight (at first), he enjoys the feeling of your eyes on him. Gets him fired up even more than usual. Also….dont be surprised if he purposely gets into fights just to have your attention on him again.

The day you ask him to SHOW you how to fight? That’s one of the best days of his life. Not only does he get to actually teach you - which he honestly enjoys doing in general - he gets to be close to you. And you’ll know how to protect yourself if need be. Even better if you can fight along side him.

Destined One:

- [ ] Completely oblivious to what’s going on in your head. He just thinks you like watching him fight and are awed by him.

- [ ] Honestly at first thought you were kinda weird for staring so much until he realized it was in admiration - kinda like how monkey cubs used to watch him train.

- [ ] He won’t admit it nor show it but makes him work harder knowing you’re watching him. He LIKES your stare and likes showing off although again, he’d act dismissive about it (he’s glancing the whole time though to make sure you’re still looking).

- [ ] While he is always focused when fighting….dont be surprised if he accidentally gets a little too cocky with you watching or distracted. Slip ups might happen and he will always make sure youre safe and protected but dont be mad at him…he cant help it LOL.

- [ ] Sometimes though (always) your stare makes him HOT. His fur rippling and his muscles unconsciously flexing as he fights or goes through his trainings/warm ups.

- [ ] This confused him because that is NOT how he normally feels when someone watches him fight.

- [ ] It’s faint, but he also catches something on the wind that he’s not sure what it is but knows it comes from you - and it always makes his mouth water and his body temperature rise.

- [ ] Honored and tickled when you ask him to teach you / train you.

- [ ] Takes teaching you very seriously (for a bit). Very hands on and actually patient - most of the time.

- [ ] This beginning phase is a bit awkward mainly because well…he likes you but doesn’t really realize it fully - youre special to him that much he understands.

- [ ] Since hes not super verbal he’s all about moving you - with your permission at first but then as he continues he just does it automatically because it’s necessary for you to have good form and posture etc.

- [ ] This also gives him first hand experience with touching you but also….now he can be closer to that previously faint scent that comes off you when he’s fighting - he’s still not sure what it is but he notices youre clearly aware of him and after certain moves or him moving you around a lot that scent permeates off you. He slowly becomes addicted to it - and it makes him restless as hell so it takes him some time to adjust and get a handle on himself. Don’t be surprised if he cuts training short sometimes or keeps his distance a little bit - hes kinda….fidgety for reasons.

- [ ] He is a hard teacher though, while he wont be too hard he isnt going to be easy - he wants you to be able to defend yourself properly. So unless you are genuinely overly tired he’s not going to let you falter and stop your training/teaching. Granted…if you give him certain looks or tell him youre truly too tired etc he would let you off the hook - big ol softy. (This only doesn’t happen if there’s serious danger and you MUST learn something - then he’s going to make sure you keep at it)

- [ ] Over time his seriousness doesnt exactly stop BUT his cheeky behavior absolutely comes out - he’s similar to Wukong in this aspect. Expect tricks and mischievous behavior. Pranks. His smug snickers. All that.

- [ ] By now his teaching you is still genuine but there are times when it’s super playful and FUN. This is where you catch him smiling like a jerk or when he’s play fighting with you - sometimes with weapons and sometimes hand to hand.

- [ ] He’s adores when youre playful with him and while is face might not ALWAYS show it especially if he’s trying to pretend to be ‘Come on training is serious’ his tail sure gives him away with how its swaying and swishing happily.

Wukong - Taking his in a slightly different than normal way :)

- [ ] Smug as fuck. Wukong know’s he’s a sight to behold. He’s had many admirers of his form over the years and has taught many monkey warriors in the time he’s been alive. Not only is he used to the stares he’s used to the awe as well. That said, YOUR stare makes him feel the best.

- [ ] The first time he catches you watching him he’s not surprised. But he IS curious. Very curious. To the point of near distraction not that he would show it. He’s going to keep an eye on you from here on out, clocking every one of your facial expressions if he can.

- [ ] Wukong wants to know what youre thinking and sure he’d have ZERO qualms about asking you - he kinda wants to observe. Sometimes we forget how observant Wukong actually is with how loud and in your face he is. Wukong is a plotter and takes note of so many things and yes hes impulsive but it’s shown time and again how calculating and smart he actually is. So hed be watching you back but you wouldn’t know it.

- [ ] Honestly it’s not going to take him long to figure out that SOMETHING about what hes doing makes you squirm. Why? Undetermined. So he decides to keep up his little ‘trap’ and purposely shows off every time he fights or trains. Memorizing every little expression on your face and your body language.

- [ ] While he is…always a controlled chaos sometimes (just like DO) he might get a little TOO distracted and cocky and something not exactly wanted results from it, like you being kidnapped or almost put in danger - or he takes a hard hit.

- [ ] Your scent? Because let’s be honest youre getting hot under the collar watching him…hes going to register it fairly early on with how sensitive his nose is. But I feel like he’s going to lie to himself about it even if he kinda knows what it means. He’s old as hell and has been around many beings, his nose knows that kind of scent. But I think at first he’s going to pretend and lie to himself what it means coming from YOU. Why? Yes hes cocky and you’d think hed get smug (he will eventually) but at first he’s might not exactly understand why YOU hold that scent and why its in regards to when he’s training/fighting.

- [ ] This is one of those times where his general ‘uncaring’ attitude to things like ‘sex’ and ‘romance’ come into play. Not that he doesnt want that with YOU (he definitely dreams about it both sleeping and awake). Just….look hes an idiot. He’s a little blind to his own growing feelings and why would YOU want to roll around with HIM? - Not that he doesnt think hes handsome etc - we all know his ego is the size of the universe. It’s more, hes a MONKEY demon….Usually people only want him to ‘use’ him in some fashion if they hit on him so again, hes gonna be a bit blind - not for long.

- [ ] Regardless, he wont stop showing off. He loves your attention and preens for it like a peacock.

- [ ] Eventually might tease you and say something like “Why are you staring? Want to learn how to fight from Old Sun?” Or something and will be TICKLED TO DEATH when you say yes. He will act overconfident and smug but inside? He’s so excited to share this with you (and that you trust him to be the one to do it).

- [ ] This is going to give him up close and personal access to your normal scent which he loves, but also that special scent. Wukong has a lot of control over himself WHEN HE WANTS. And in these moments he exercises a lot of control. Why? Because you make him twitchy as fuck and his blood run HOT. He is a bit taken aback by his body’s reaction to you and that scent, having never reacted like this to anyone else. The more you spar the more he has to reign himself in - which might turn into grumpy monkey or him ending training for the day, or even mistakes.

- [ ] Might be a little too excited honestly to teach you though - so sometimes he might go overboard or be hasty with his teaching.

- [ ] He is one of those half hands on half ‘let them figure it out’ teachers. While he’s going to of course guide you and make sure you have basics and good form….hes also going to want you to run a bit off instinct. So dont be surprised if hes sitting up in a tree after leading some low level enemy to you and lets you kinda….figure it out or gives you advice.

- [ ] Make no mistake he is ALWAYS right there ready to step in. But hes a bit of a ‘learn on the go’ kind of trainer a lot of the time. Something he’s discovered with training his warriors.

- [ ] But if this doesnt work for you? Best believe he will adjust for you. Might have to fight him about it at first though and show him you mean business and that this way of teaching isnt going to cut it. At the end of the day he wants you to be SAFE and feel confident in your skills. So whatever he needs to do to make that happen? He will.

- [ ] He is a tough teacher in that he doesnt let you give up, give half ass effort, or slack off - Wukong has trained many in his time and while he wont be the ‘Monkey King’ to you giving orders he is serious about you learning and being safe.

- [ ] That said….expect shenanigans. This Monkey is a damn trickster and so dont be surprised when that particular trait shows up during your training or sparring sessions.

- [ ] Not every session is one of over seriousness either. Training and sparring is fun with him as a general rule. Mainly because you are not one of his monkey warriors - youre special.

- [ ] So be prepared for antics or some weird game of the day hes come up with - for an old monkey he is extremely playful.

- [ ] No matter if you just wanted to learn basics or wanted to learn further training your sparring sessions often devolve into screwing around courtesy of Wukongs mischievous nature.

Both: moving into NSFW-ish

- [ ] The more you train with him or spar with him the more he’s going to notice about you - and himself in turn.

- [ ] Your sessions are at times going to become charged with ‘something’, often times leaving you both restless at the end of it.

- [ ] Some days the energy is so thick between you that mishaps happen. Like maybe he grabs you a little too rough or in a specific sensitive spot and a moan leaves your lips - causing you both to freeze and then awkwardly try to navigate the rest of the session.

- [ ] Sometimes your sessions are a little more playful - doing silly things that make you both grin and chase after each other. Things most would probably consider ‘flirting’ or ‘gross’ behavior depending on who you asked.

- [ ] Play fighting is a near constant - wrestling? Oh boy….that starts off great until someone shivers and moans (or bodies grinding on bodies causing those special noises) and “now what do we do” - going into the awkward untangling of limbs.

- [ ] Touches when showing new moves or adjusting stances will linger much longer than necessary, sometimes you both get so caught up you really dont notice until some outside factor startles you both apart.

- [ ] What you dont realize is that most of the time? He has to exercise a lot of self control around you. Your scent and the way you interact with him sends his instincts into chaos - the amount of times he’s almost shoved you to the ground to assert himself over you and give into his own…new urges is staggering.

- [ ] Oftentimes you might have him growling against you - be it from holding himself back or instinctively making sounds as you accidentally brush against a sensitive part of him.

- [ ] Monkey is frustrated beyond belief though - you are too I’m sure.

- [ ] If there are others around you guys - they notice something weird about you two. The lingering eyes, touches, and sometimes awkward fidgeting you do (not in a session). And the tension is thick.

DO: NSFW-ish

- [ ] He’s slow but not that slow when it comes to putting 2 and 2 together. Granted, he might need an extra push. What that is could be anything from accidental grabbing, you feeling his hard on during a session, him causing you to bodily react to him.

- [ ] Wouldn’t be surprised if either he makes a move (unconsciously) and thinks he over stepped. Might try to put distance between you until you fix that immediately. OR depending on your reaction 2+2=4 in his head and “oh they want this, this is happening and yeah”.

- [ ] DO - is a bit of a shy guy though. So while he CLEARLY wants you and now he knows you want him - cue awkward behavior round 2.

- [ ] He may not touch you as much and might keep his distance a bit - why? His instincts are kinda going wild. This is a first for him and he fears overstepping (plus again it’s NEW).

- [ ] Might either need some coaxing OR he’s gonna just pounce one day depending on what YOU do (and your preference!).

- [ ] Sessions are more like foreplay now - sometimes still serious of course!

- [ ] Sessions devolve quickly in an instant - at first being as it’s new and well…you’re thirsty for each other. They are always charged and filled with anticipation. (Later when you’re not as in the honeymoon phase training and sparring is more comfortable and can be JUST training or something more if you want it)

Wukong: NSFW-ish

- [ ] So remember how I said he resists shoving you onto the ground? Yeah…that gets broken.

- [ ] See, the great Sage is strong. A pillar of strength if you will. But not against your scent and reactions to him.

- [ ] At some point he’d come to terms with his own feelings (something dramatic happened let’s be real) - and then finally allowed the idea that YOU wanted him back to fester.

- [ ] Sure, by this point hes kind of screwing with you - out of love - and probably doesnt help either of your situations because hes going to poke and pod at your reactions, enjoying every shiver and hot look you give him. The way your breath catches and how your heart beat quickens. He’s a bit of a smug jerk like that.

- [ ] But after time and time again of being subjected to your intoxicating scent and his instincts taking over Wukong finally snaps.

- [ ] Expect whatever he does to be sudden and dramatic. His restraint shattered - depending on your reaction to him, he may keep going or he may back off.

- [ ] Regardless he is going to want you to tell him you want him and what you want with him - consent king. Even if he’s impulsive he doesnt want something like this to be unwanted.

- [ ] Wukong is a major tease - so training sessions are a test of strength for both of you as he purposefully does things to get you riled up (and you him). Often ends with roam hands and mouths (and tail), or bathing sessions which turn into…getting messy and then bathing for real.

Small note for both:

- [ ] When he discovers - be it you saying so or him putting it together in his head - that you get turned on watching him fight/train/stretch etc…..oh boy. He likes showing off an a good day and now? He’s doing it FOR YOU. He fully understands your scent and gaze as you watch him and will definitely flex and train without much clothes on, on purpose. Will absolutely flaunt himself in front of you (and pretend hes none the wiser).

- [ ] Will tease you about it given the chance.

- [ ] If you notice he has a hard on while training/stretching/fighting - just know its for you because you watching him gets under his skin just as much as he gets under yours.

[panravenc]

It may be basic, but I will never, ever, not fall head over heels (metaphorically) for the Jedi when, to me, the phrase that defines them the best is: "Jedi cannot help who they are. Their compassion leaves a trail. The Jedi Code is like an itch. He cannot help it."

The way Jedi Order raised force-sensitives to be kind, brave and compassionate; the way Luke in the OT perfectly represents these teachings, even though he struggles and has very little training; the way we're shown, time and time again, that a Jedi's basis for their actions is compassion. They help. They are kind. They do their best despite the circumstances and they are always willing to lend a hand.

They are a group that is purposefully good. Not inherently, not because kind is just "how they are", but they do good on purpose. And after a lifetime of practising that kindness, yes, it rather becomes first-nature, but they often find adversity and strife and still, they offer kindness. When Mace Windu, three years into the Clone Wars, offers the droid army to lay down arms and find something better for themselves; when Obi-Wan, beaten down and ten years after the genocide of the Jedi at the (mind-controlled) hands of the clones, still offers his meagre credits to a trooper he finds struggling on the streets; when Luke finds it in himself to see beyond Darth Vader, who has dealt him much pain, and encounter Anakin, suffering and buried under all his hurt, and offers him kindness; when Yoda explains to the clones that they are all different, offering them individuality and treating them, always, as equals; when Kanan, despite the risk and despite his fear, trains Ezra to the best of his abilities; when Cal forgives Merrin for trying to kill him multiple times, offering a chance for something new the moment Merrin hints at it. And there are many more examples! Kit Fisto, Shaak Ti, Plo Koon, Rey (later in the sequels), are some of the ones we see the most in the more popular works of the Star Wars franchise.

But the one thing you can take away from every Jedi is that they are fundamentally kind. That they are always trying to help. Their Order is built in such a way that it allows them to do so! EduCorps, MediCorps, AgriCorps? How many people, populations or planets depend on help from these Jedi? The KnightCorps, whose task before the war was negotiate for peace, and resolve conflicts, are the leading reason so many people in that Galaxy, Far, Far Away, are safe. The ExploraCorps are out there finding new hyperspace lanes and preserving the ones that are known so that people can travel safely through space. And it comes without profit.

I adore Jedi. And I adore how even though their compassion was their undoing, although their teachings of kindness and peace were used against them at every turn, they never stop caring.

(I could also talk about how I, a nerd myself, would love to be part of a society and community where not only is compassion and kindness the norm, but learning and teaching is also one of the pillars of the Order. Jedi never stop learning, Jedi find it an honour to teach the next generation, and Jedi are all encouraged to keep studying whatever strikes their fancy without having to justify it for monetary reasons or how it would help them in the future. How beautiful it is that learning in and by itself can be revered and encouraged. That there doesn't have to be any more to it.)

(And, another thing - last one, I promise - is how little emphasis they put on romance. You might fall in love. You might want sex. You might not; now, or ever. There is no pressure to find "the one" or even a partner. If you do, great! Be careful not to fall in possessive attitudes, be careful not to let that love overwhelm you. Some might think you are risky, and congratulate you, and some might just congratulate you. But otherwise? The Jedi "are not this crude matter". They are love, but for everyone. The peak of a Jedi's life is Mastery over their self, is their connection to the Force, is having taught a student until they are ready to be out in the world by themselves. But it is not marriage, or falling in love so deeply your behaviour may border on creepy ("I would kill for you" is not a romantic line, guys). Anyways. The little emphasis on romantic or even sexual needs is a comfort, although not my favourite thing of the Jedi).

Tag: @scrimplications, @orchardsong i think you'll enjoy this :)

Tag Game for Jedi Enjoyers

Me scrolling my dash and finding like thirty well structured arguments detailing why the Jedi are good and complaining about people not getting it: …maybe I just need to follow more people but I think maybe we, the people who love the Jedi, have forgotten we’re allowed to actually be joyous about this thing we love, rather than just placing ourselves in constant opposition to people who do not love it. I love a well structured argument probably more than the next guy, but I’ve seen more than one person, myself included, feeling super discouraged and burnt out by it all.

Here’s the rules:

Say one thing—lore, character, headcanon, oc, book recommendations, fics, anything—you love about or involving the Jedi. Explain it in as much or as little detail as you want.

No arguments, no “I hate when people—,” no telling me which Disney show sucks the most.

Tag two or more people you think will enjoy this activity.

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

I am getting wine drunk tonight because today was ass and I’m so fucking tired and I need it to be Friday already 🙃

[kyumisyumi]

Nikto who just doesn't let you leave his home after a one night stand.

You had a general idea of how one night stands went; you get in, you fuck, you get out. It wasn't really something you did often but when your neighbor who, in all honesty, has had your interest for a while asks... It was hard to keep your mouth from saying 'hell fucking yes'. Prior to this your interactions consisted of little more than pleasantries but you knew, from other neighbor's accounts, that he was more talkative with you than anyone else. And now you knew why.

Your neighbor did not disappoint. Nikto fucked the senses right out of your skull. Your clothes crumpled and discarded along with your inhibitions. You'd be feeling him for days; between your legs, in your mouth, in every bruise left on your skin and random twitch in your thigh. It was one hell of a good time but you knew how these things ended. Knew that once the breathing died down and the adrenaline left your senses it was time to put your clothes back on and skedaddle.

However Nikto finds every excuse for you to stay;

You shift to leave the bed but his arm casually wraps around you, pulling you back against him. You look back at him confused but his eyes are already closed and he only says one word. "Sleep."

The next morning you go to put on your clothes only to find they're nowhere in the room. Instead one of his shirts was left on the side of the bed you slept on. You tug it on and when you find him, he's doing laundry. "Hospitality. I clean them for you." He grunts. And so you end up chatting with him in the laundry room, helping out by seperating the clothes.

When that's all done you make one last trip to his room to double check you've left nothing behind. You announce your departure but Nikto stops you from in the kitchen, declaring he's already made breakfast for two. "Don't waste food." He says putting a plate in your hands. To his credit; it was a good hearty breakfast.

Another attempt to leave? He's rented a movie you mentioned, it has to be watched within 24 hours. "You wanted to see this, da. Come, we watch now?"

And another? "You've been wanting to learn how to bake, da? Let me teach you this recipe."

Another one? You can't leave without letting him show you one of his collections

Another? How about another movie?

And the final attempt? "It's too late to be out, better to just spend the night here." He says as if your home wasn't a hop, skip and a jump away from his.

You caught on, of course, but you don't really mind. It's been a while since you've felt wanted and the flattery had you beaming inside. You probably should be alarmed but he hasn't used any force, no intimidation, just a socially inept man trying to convince his pretty little neighbor to move in in the most roundabout way possible.

[yanderenightmare]

Ryomen Sukuna

TW: NSFW, noncon, virgin reader, corruption kink, Sukuna in general

fem reader

Thinking about Demon King Sukuna and how he receives a virgin for his harem every new moon. Most are unfortunate townspeople who’ve come of age—but you’re something he can savor even more, something truly special.

The silk kimono you’d been dressed in is easily ripped from your body, leaving you bare. You’d been warned not to fight or run, that he’d only sooner kill and eat you—but you keep your faith and try and escape anyway. 

All your life, the temple has taught you of Ryomen Sukuna—that he’s a harbinger of carnage and death. You’d feel better offering your life to the Gods than allowing it to remain captive by the likes of evil.

He only grabs and manhandles you with nothing more but a sadistic laugh, catching your hair in a fist as he pulls you up until only the tips of your toes are left grazing the floors—and even then, he has to bow nearly half his length before he’s leveling your eyes with his.

“My patience is a fickle thing, turtledove. Run again, and I’ll treat it like a real hunt. Which would be a real shame… I so hate spilling holy blood before I’ve made it filthy with sin.”

You're thrown onto a large round bed next. It catches you with a bounce while he crawls after you, taking hold of both your ankles and swiftly pulling you beneath him. 

His chest is marked with demonic seals, and so is his face, where he looms above you with a deranged smile. Raking his claws up your legs and thighs, he spreads and pushes them flat against the bed while his other two hold your crying face, cupping your cheeks with both thumbs hooking into the wet of your mouth, playing with your tongue as you sob. When he shows you his and its black markings, you scream, feeling as though he’s pouring poison down your throat as he feeds you its length and knots it with yours.

You choke and sob while you share each other’s spit, feeling tarnished and forsaken by all that you held sacred—wondering why the heavens would allow this to happen as the weight of his manhood finds rest between your thighs, upon your mound and tummy, where it grows fat and warm.

His hands leave your face and switch places with the other two, freeing them for what he plans on doing next. Wrapping one around himself, he gives it languid tugs while soaking in the sight of your poor little cunt trembling in fear of something it only barely knows what is. His other hand pets it soothingly in mockery, tickling the slit, making you shake.

His stomach then splits open like a cut, baring teeth and a tongue that only earns your horrified expression—crying as it drools over you, jutting out to lick the tender place you so wished had remained untouched. You whine in shudders as he squeezes your throat and bares down over you, staring at you with keen bromine eyes, amused with your fall from grace as you come undone.

“You taste sweet,” he moans against your lips while his other mouth slurps at your core, also groaning.

You’re naïve for thinking it’s over where you blink away tears, but he doesn’t blame you. They never teach you the truth in temples, only childish lies that leave you ever vulnerable to the outside world and ever sweeter for him to ruin.

“I apologize for clipping your wings, angel. But I must say… depravity suits you better.”

Nothing. Not a prayer or plea leaves your lips as he tears through and fills you up. Only a choked gasp that dies midway. You bite into your lip, squeezing your eyes shut—ready to accept a death that never comes. Instead, there’s a living hell, and you can only scream as it consumes you.

Your whimpering is delicious, caught beneath him, panting every time his hips snap forth and storm your clingy insides, gushing for him like he knew you would be—sweetly surrendering all your worship to him and honoring him as your new god.

Perhaps he won’t feast on your flesh once he’s done as cute as you are. He wouldn’t mind keeping you around for a bit. Teach you how to serve him properly. Paint you with his seals. Make you his favorite pet.

♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[clanlasombrasp]

The classic way to start a Philosophy class… I've done it this way many times!!!

[n0tamused]

Jiyaaaan request coming your way~

While training his soldiers, one of them accidentally calls him 'Dad'. This leads to the reader teasing them but Jiyan teases back by calling them 'Mom' (or the gender neutral for it?)

(Was reading tv tropes and Jiyan had the 'A Father to his Men' tropes in his character tab lol)

A/n: Anon this request was so sweet, thank you sm for sending it in! Jiyan the father of an army fr.. I do hope I executed it well. Enjoy!

Content: Jiyan x F!Reader, fluff and playful stuff, nothing more

The morning sun had long since shifted its axis towards the center of the sky, blazing down through cotton clouds that sailed the azure skies. Below them, in the open fields, west of the main base cacophony sounded, consisting of commands, groans and other sounds of effort as the Midnight Ranger performed their training. And today Jiyan had come to overlook the session himself, although it wouldn’t be the first time. He was often so preoccupied with tasks at the front lines that he didn’t have the time to be leading drills too frequently, but when he did get the chance to do so he would take it. While it wasn’t a full reprieve from the battle, it was still a stark contrast to the grotesque and twisted fates he’d see daily on the battlefield.

Jiyan was noticeably more disheveled by the end, hair messy and hanging in strands and clinging to his sweaty forehead, hands on his hips as his voice rose to meet all ears present. You have just been passing by, helping carry supplies that just came in, and loading old and empty boxes back to be refilled in the city. For once there was no rush that would make your legs ache or your lungs hurt, allowing you all the precious time to bask in the views, the soft chatter and, of course, your dear lover.

The sun caught his figure and formed a golden aura around him, his skin glistening, and you couldn’t help but take a seat at one of many big boxes at the side of the training grounds after you had finished your task. In passing you caught a few looks, and a few smiles of the soldiers you knew from before. They looked much  more lively, despite the rigorous training they just went through. It made your heart warm seeing them in better spirits, wishing nothing more than to see them prevail and be happy. And just as you had recognized a bunch of familiar faces did Jiyan conclude his small speech, about to dismiss everyone with advice of rest hanging on every word. He had spotted you from the start, when you were going by with supplies in arms and soon he’d have a chance to speak to you too, he thought.

“General Jiyan! General Jiyan, a word or two- if I may?” 

It was a voice of one of the new recruits, Jiyan noted as he gazed at the face of the youth, a boy of twenty or so years by the looks of it, and eyes full of curiosity and admiration. He had come up to Jiyan just as he had turned towards you, prompting him to stay rooted in his spot a little longer. A few more young rangers came up behind the recruit, sharing the same curiosity but also being aware of whatever the recruit had on his mind.

“Yes? Is there something you need?” Jiyan questioned, looking at the young man. From his peripheral vision he spotted you moving down from the boxes and joining his side, staying quiet after a short word of greeting towards his Rangers, but your presence felt like a cool breeze under this sun, and he appreciated it all the more.

“I just wanted to say how great today’s training session was, we learned so much more than we did with our drill sergeant” he praised, smiling up at Jiyan all the while, “And I just wanted to ask whether or not you’ll be leading our training session tomorrow as well? Or any other day that is, we would really benefit from your teaching. I mean, you've seen it all for yourself at the front lines!"

The other few with him nodded along, prompting a small smile of pride to form on your face from seeing their fascination with Jiyan. To them he was everything they aspired to be - strong, enduring, tough but not lacking kindness or knowledge. There were times where they were scared to approach him, not knowing how he’d react to their questions, but from observing his interactions with others they warmed up to the idea and plucked all their courage. 

A polite smile curled up on Jiyan’s face as he regarded the youth with gentle golden eyes. His presence as the drill sergeant today wasn’t due to his availability, but a simple coincidence and necessity to fill the shoes of their drill sergeant that had been injured due to Tacet Discords, and Jiyan just happened to be able to be there. “Ah, you have my thanks, rangers. If a replacement for your drill sergeant does not arrive tomorrow and I am not required to be at the front lines, then I will be leading your training tomorrow as well” he told them, which pleased them greatly to hear.  “Although I’m sure Sargent Jin’xi has much more to teach you, something much more important for your sound development in this profession. You cannot take his method lightly. He has seen everything I have, as well. His knowledge is as valuable to your growth, and even more so than mine. You need the good foundation he can give you” He was aware of how confusing or hard it could be to listen to Jin’xi, as the sergeant had quite the eye for details and slow progress in lessons due to his meticulous nature - but that also made him all the better for his station. He was observant and could pluck out bad behavior and mistakes like weeds, and that is better to be done here, than in the middle of battle.

“We know, general, but sergeant Jin’xi is just so hard on us.. sometimes it really seems like he has no limit” one of the women standing behind voiced, earning a look from Jiyan that spoke of his understanding but also his disagreement with the subtle message they were trying to send - please, replace sergeant Jin’xi, or, save us.

“Yeah! One time I accidentally mixed up the weapons in the storage room and he had me do everything on my own again, saying how such mistakes can’t happen on the front lines, how it all means life or death” the first young man said, brushing his fingers through his hair and sighing. “I understand it, but we just got here..” he added and looked at his comrades. 

What was supposed to be a short chit-chat turned swiftly into a gossip galore about Jin’xi. Had Jiyan been any different from the man he was currently, he would’ve scolded them, taken offense at how they spoke about his colleague, but he was in their shoes once, always on edge around the higher ups, and he wished not to bring that same unease to them. He didn’t fail to remind them to not speak like this in front of everyone, and to respect sergeant Jin’xi when he does eventually return, and they gave him their word.

The first young man that approached looked at Jiyan after their discussion, both hands on his hips and looking more relaxed. “We won’t forget that, I promise on my last name! Still, we appreciate your kindness, and one more thing dad- I MEAN- GENERAL!” His entire face crumbled into a look of terror, and all eyes of the group shot to him, looks of surprise and amusement appearing before several of them erupted into laughter after taking a wary glance at Jiyan - who was not offended.

“General Jiyan! Oh god- I apologize, general, I don’t know where that came from-” he stammered, shaking his head and his hands, face flushed from sheer embarrassment. More choked words tumbled out of his mouth, desperate to excuse himself and forget about this. 

Jiyan can’t help but chuckle, the corners of his lips twitching in a failed attempt to hold back his smile. “At ease, recruit. You have not done any crime” he nods at the other, his eyes softening and not showing any sign that he’s about to dish out some punishment - that’d be ridiculous. 

You can’t help but crack a laugh too, covering your lips with your hand as to stifle the sound, but your mirth was evident in your eyes. “Have I missed a chapter? I didn’t know you had kids, general Jiyan” you teased, earning a few shocked but heavily amused looks from the group. Giggles erupted once more, all stifled as they waited for Jiyan to respond to the quip.

Jiyan turns his head to look at you, his eyes boring into yours and questioning your intentions - you can read the thoughts going through your head and your smile only widens in a silent call to a challenge of wits. He didn’t expect you to say something like that, but he could only huff, hiding his amusement under an abrupt guise of confusion.

“Kids?.. Why, I had hoped you’d recognize your own kids, Miss (L/N)” he shot back instantly, making your jaw drop at his rebuttal, a gasp flying past your mouth. “General” you said, accusations plenty heard in your tone as the atmosphere melted into one of jest and play.

Many eyes flickered between you and him, taking in the easy way you conversed with one another.

“Yes? What’s the surprise for? The recruits look up to you too, if you fail to notice. You can confirm with them right now” he is shifting the spotlight to you, and the recruits are quick to jump in too. “It is right, miss. Personally I haven’t been around you for long, no longer than I interacted with the General, but you two are alike, you treat us new ones with a firm but kind hand” a young woman said, smiling at you, and you feel your heart climb into your throat. 

“Can we really be surprised, they’re always together too-” "Aren't they married?" Whispering is heard amidst the group, and Jiyan looks amidst the faces to catch the one that said that but fails to do so, or refuses to weed out the individuals, and his eyes go back to you to catch your response. It’d be a lie to say your relationship with him was a secret, everyone knew there was something deeper between the two of you, something you didn’t show in public due to the war and status, but it was undeniably there. Still, hearing it loud and clear like this was like a splash of cold water. Despite their chatter, the group remained respectful, sweet in their musings.

“Ah, quiet, I do not want to hear it. This is about you, General”

“Ah, don’t run from it now. You’re the one that started this” he commented, rolling his eyes as he folded his arms over his chest. “Anyway, you’re all dismissed. I have a word with.. mother over here. Off you all go. I will see you all in the morning for another training drill. Get some rest” he speaks to the group, gazing upon their faces, only to see how they looked at him with some sort of childhood wonder, and that’s when he realized he must be flushed too. A sheepish smile bloomed on his face. 

“Alright! Awesome-” “Yes, sir!"

“Have a good day, General! And you too, Miss!” 

He watched them leave, bidding them all farewell, and when he turned to face you again he saw you pinching the bridge of your nose, hiding away the biggest smile of the day, the apples of your cheeks redder than before. The Midnight Rangers were undeniably close in connection, having spent so many nights and days huddled together for warmth or laughs or protection, and this small exchange only warmed Jiyan’s heart, to witness how positively they felt around him - and you. 

“Didn’t think we’d become parents so soon. Have we gotten that old already?” Jiyan commented, tone softer in a way he only addressed you when you were alone, and there was no one near the training grounds to hear you.

“Oh, shut up, Jiyan-” you playfully snapped, biting your lip as you looked up at him, stifling a giggle. “You are unbelievable!”

“Hm? Did you expect me to stay quiet today or ignore your quips?” he smiled bigger and you have to admire the little dimples in his cheeks as the smile reaches his eyes, making them squint at you softly.

“I don’t know what I expected, but your response was certainly the last thing I expected” you replied and shook your head, as if that would shake off the redness tinting your skin, imitating him now by crossing your arms. The two of you were looking at each other, wordlessly admiring your red faces while throwing these little quips at one another. 

“Ah.. you’ll get used to it, dearest wife”

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[valsverse]

— general dating hc's

pairing: percy jackson, annabeth chase, leo valdez, piper mclean, hazel levesque, jason grace, frank zhang (respectively) x gn!reader

word count: 3.0k part two

percy jackson

• underwater kisses!! all the time!! being a son of poseidon has its benefits. the whole experience is just magical fr. it's like being in a whole different world, where nothing else matters except for the two of you. the sensation of your lips touching, your bodies intertwined, and the sound of your breathing mixing with the water is simply unforgettable. the way your hands hold onto each other, the way your eyes lock, and the way your heart beats as one, it's a feeling that can't be replicated anywhere else.

• percy 100% teaches you how to skate. the first chance he gets, he'll lead you onto the smooth, concrete surface of the skate park with the intent of teaching you!!

he patiently guides you, holding your hands and rolling you along while walking beside you. he teaches you how to shift your weight, how to balance, and how to stop. and every time you stumble, he makes a huge show of catching you in his arms LMAO. like, it's not that serious, percy.

whenever he's skating alone, he can't help but think of you. :(( the way your hair sways in the wind, the sound of your laughter, and the warmth of your hand in his. he would often skate in circles, lost in thought, imagining you by his side. <33 (all the other skaters think he looks like a fool, but he doesn't care.)

• now don't tell me you two do not have matching jewelry, because you DO. he learns a lot about your style and preferences, (he knows if you look better in gold or silver) and the pretty necklaces and stuff are just a bonus!!

he wears a necklace with several charms all the time, since it was a gift from you! some of the charms include an ocean charm and a tiny silver skateboard that dangles from the delicate chain. whenever he misses you, he would reach up and touch the necklace, feeling the smooth metal under his fingers, and smile. <33

• whenever you explain things to percy, he nods his head in agreement, but you notice his gaze flickering towards your lips ever so often. you don't know what he's thinking, but his expression provides a pretty obvious hint as to what may be on his mind.

• growing up as a child of one of the big three can certainly take its toll on anyone, even percy. after a long day of training and preventing new campers from capsizing the canoes while racing with the naiads, all he wants is to melt into your embrace.

he sneaks into your cabin with you as soon as possible, laying down on your bed, a deep sigh escaping his lips and he stretches his neck from side to side, relishing in the brief moment of peace. his arms are outstretched, inviting you to join him, as he longs for the comfort and safety of your embrace.

it's clear that being in your presence has a calming effect on him, reassuring him that everything is going to be alright. <33

annabeth chase

• annabeth has a penchant for discovering new things to learn and become deeply invested in, and she talks to you about her newest interests all the time. when you take the time to listen to her ramblings about her current passions, she gets so excited!!

sometimes, you spend hours in the library researching the concepts and terminology she speaks of, just so that you can engage in a meaningful conversation with her instead of just nodding along. the effort is well worth it to see her reaction; the way her face lights up as she smiles, leaning in to give you a big kiss on the cheek as a reward!!

• but sometimes annabeth rambles way too much. like, wayyyy too much. i'm talking hours on end. while her voice is soothing and you enjoy lying in her arms while she speaks, it can be a lot at times.

and annabeth only stops talking when she's finished gushing. unless you kiss her first.

although she tries to act like your affection doesn't work on her, complaining with phrases like, "why did you do that," or "you didn't let me finish." but her tone clearly softens. her eyes crinkling at the corners, and soon enough her facade breaks and she can no longer hold back a smile. <33

• you guys still use pinky promises. it doesn't matter if she personally thinks it's trivial, she does it for your sake because she values your belief in it. and if anyone dares to make fun of it, she'd be glaring daggers at them the entire day. if looks could kill, they'd be dead.

(and after you two interlock pinkies she kisses the palm of your hand to seal the deal.)

• annabeth isn't big on PDA, but she definitely steals kisses when people aren't looking.

• annabeth love, love, LOVES reading to you!! especially when there's nobody around and it's just the two of you, your head on her lap as she reads aloud about the wonders of Richardsonian Romanesque style architecture... whatever that is. (but she makes it sound interesting so you don't care.)

• overall 10/10, what a queen.

leo valdez

• he's your portable heater fr. leo keeps you warm by holding you close. it's particularly convenient when you're nestled on his lap or resting against his chest.

• this man can COOK. he mainly cooks food from his heritage because it's a way for him to connect to his roots, but if you ask him to make a particular dish for you, he'll do it, no questions asked. it's a common sight to catch a glimpse of him in the kitchen, diligently chopping ingredients and following the recipe to your favorite dish, getting himself completely covered in smoke and steam by the end of the process, but the result is always delicious so neither of you care.

he'll often call you into the kitchen to taste-test his newest recipe, shoving the dish in your face and urging you to try it like, "here babe, taste it!!" with the brightest smile as he eagerly waits for your feedback. he values your opinions a lot!

• him calling you petnames in spanish >>> omg. among his favorites are "mi amor" (my love), "cariño" (darling), and "corazón" (sweetheart). he usually rotates between those three and it never fails to bring a blush to your cheeks because like, hello??? how could it not??? he's always quick to notice your reaction and can't resist teasing you, playful remarks leaving his lips like, "a little flustered now are we, mi amor?" 🙏🙏🙏

• no matter how long you've been together, leo still flirts with you like it's the first time he's seen you. he'll brace himself against the nearest doorframe and unleash the cheesiest pick-up line known to mankind. despite their predictability, you play along. the game ends when he asks you on a "first date."

�� leo spends a lot of time tinkering in his workshop, so whenever boredom sets in, (or if he's just thinking of you) he likes to put his creativity to use by making various small creations with you on his mind. these items range from keychains, to mini jewelry boxes, and even small flowers carved out of metal scraps. (you now have enough to make a bouquet.) your nightstand and shelves are absolutely littered with his handiwork, and you take pride in owning each one of them. <33

• leo's the type of guy that twirls you around while hugging. there's something incredibly spontaneous and thrilling about the experience — just when you think he's only reaching for your hand, he suddenly lifts you off the ground and spins you around, generating a moment of pure joy before gently setting you down once again, and leaning back in for a normal hug.

• he's so whipped for you it's not even funny.

piper mclean

• piper hates being categorized as a typical child of aphrodite due to the expectations and assumptions that come with the title, especially given the reputation of some of her siblings. she's always quick to reassure you that she won't break your heart and that her love for you is truly genuine.

• piper has a soft spot for when you play with her hair; running your fingers through her choppy locks and especially when you braid it. when you gently scratch her scalp while brushing your nails through her hair, she gets lost in her own little world.

• piper isn't afraid to show you off if you're okay with it. like she's in a beautiful, loving relationship, why wouldn't she?? also she's a hand swinger FR. 🙏🙏🙏

• you guys have matching bracelets!! nothing fancy, just a bunch of multi-colored beads on a string, but she loves them so much. sometimes you dedicate dates to making these bracelets just because it's one of her favorite pastimes.

she has one with your name written on the beads, a couple with the titles of the albums you listen to together, as well as ones with your preferred color schemes. just anything to remind her of you. <33

her collection is so big that they now stack up to her arms. maybe it's becoming a problem.

• while piper doesn't like flaunting her wealth, if she sees that you have your eye on something she'll immediately buy it for you. no questions asked. you don't even need to say anything.

maybe you'll bring it up ONCE, not even asking her to buy it, just mentioning you were saving up for a particular item, and the next day it's on your bed with a note from her. when you ask her she'll just be like, "weren't you talking about it?"

• while piper is pretty self-conscious about her singing, she'll do it if you ask her to because she trusts you. if you're having trouble sleeping, she'll lay your head in her lap and sing a short melody, and it works every time. once you drift off, she’ll place a tender kiss on your forehead, (or multiple) and express how much you mean to her, because she can't be this sentimental when you're awake.

she's so in love omg.

hazel levesque

• she's the absolute sweetest girlfriend you could ever ask for! her sweet and loving nature is simply amazing and her love for you knows no bounds. she goes above and beyond to make you feel appreciated and loved in every way possible.

• she definitely loves to go horse-back riding with you. the sensation of the wind blowing through your hair, the warm sun kissing your skin, and the gentle sound of the horse's hooves rhythmically hitting the ground beneath you — it all feels like pure magic, especially since hazel is sharing the moment with you!

• over time, hazel got more comfortable with kisses. the first time you two shared a kiss, she timidly brushed her lips against yours before rapidly withdrawing, her hands instinctively covering her face in embarrassment.

but as time went by and your relationship progressed, she soon began to relax and gain confidence, especially with you relaxing and guiding her through every step of the way. <33

PDA isn't really her thing, but when the two of you are in private, she WILL shower you with kisses on various parts of your body, including your forehead, cheeks, neck, lips, and anywhere else she can reach. i feel like she'd especially love kissing your nose. it's quite endearing to watch her stand on her toes to give you a sweet smooch if you're tall, or simply grab your face and plant a gentle kiss on your nose if you're shorter.

• hazel is doing her best to learn about your interests, but like many things in the today's world, it's a learning process for her. but your help makes her feel more at ease in this modern world. there is still a lot that hazel doesn't fully comprehend, so she values the historical insights you share with her.

• hazel's love languages are acts of service and gift giving. she loves the way your eyes light up when she pampers you. she's also so patient when she helps you with your sword-fighting!! she goes the extra mile to help you master any technique, training with you for hours on end just to see your smile. she patiently guides you through each step, offering advice and encouragement along the way. her joy comes from your progress and happiness.

• okay this is a small thing but she always lets you have the last bite!! whether you're dining out or sharing popcorn at the movies, hazel is always mindful of ensuring that you get the last bite/handful. <33

she's so cute omg.

jason grace

• i think most of us know how touch starved this man is, but he slowly eases into romantic gestures. after a long day of praetor duties, all he wants to do is melt in your arms as you whisper sweet nothings to him.

jason loovvees resting his forehead against yours. it just brings him a sense of comfort and solace, really just your presence itself makes him feel safe. <33

• jason grows to love hand-holding! it starts off with just linking pinkies, but progresses when you take his calloused palms into yours. from the second you two intertwine hands, he's hooked.

he doesn't really know how to initiate hand-holding, so he often makes excuses like, "here, let's compare hand sizes." or "aren't you cold? let me warm up your hands for you." and proceeds to take both of your hands in his without waiting for a response because he just can't ask upfront. :(( (don't worry, he gets over it as the relationship progresses.) his GRIP on your hand is so noticeable LMAO. it's like he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go.

he most definitely places kisses on your hand. 🙏🙏🙏 i'm talking regency era jane austen style kisses to your fingertips or palm, looking away with a visible blush. <33

• hear me out, considering his expertise in combat, this man has gotta have some beefy arms okayyy?? like, it's hard not to stare at them. and once he rolls up his sleeves, it's all over FR.

he does it without thinking at first, whether it's tidying up his cabin, strategizing battle plans, or sometimes just mindlessly sighing and rolling up his sleeves when something's on his mind. but he starts to notice how your gaze lingers on his forearms a little too long to be considered "normal", and once he figures it all out, he's having a whole field day with it.

basically, he makes a point to show off his arms around you whenever he could. it drives you crazy, and guess what? he's well aware of it. you know this given that he'll occasionally flash one of his rare jason grace smiles, which later transitions into a grin with a slightly raised lip. 🙏🙏🙏

• he's such a gentleman fr. even little things like holding open doors for you even if it means waiting a few extra moments, offering his sweater when you're cold without hesitation, or fixing up a plate for you during dinner, he's always trying to make life a little easier for you. <33

frank zhang

• frank gives the best bear hugs! (both literally and figuratively.) in the early stages of a relationship, he may come across as a bit awkward. not because he doesn't want to initiate anything, but rather because he's a bit unsure of himself. he takes his time to get to know you and build trust before stepping up his game and expressing his love in more obvious ways. as time passes, he becomes more comfortable and eases into the relationship at a sweet and slow pace, making sure to respect your boundaries and wishes. :((

he loves holding you and making you feel loved, so cuddles aren't uncommon. he takes care to express his affection in a way that makes you feels comfortable and appreciated!! he's always asking you, "do you feel alright?" or "is this fine?" because what may be okay one day might not be okay the next.

typically, he prefers to be the big spoon, but he's is also happy being the little spoon, because he believes that vulnerability and intimacy go both ways in a relationship!!

• frank has the ability to shapeshift into tons of different animals, and he uses this to his advantage while cuddling with you!! imagine waking up to find a cuddly koala bear clinging onto you protectively one day, and then the next day, holding a sweet and adorable tea-cup sized labrador puppy in your hands. the cuddling possibilities are endless!!

• your decision to date frank despite any challenges along the way has had such an impact on his self-esteem. like, seriously!! every word of praise you offer him is treasured, and he adores being around you; in fact, he flourishes in your presence. your encouragement has really made a difference in his life. <33

• he love, love, LOVES holding your hand!! he seems to find every opportunity to intertwine his fingers with yours, and in moments of stress or anxiety, he'll often tap or lightly pull on your hand as if seeking reassurance because your touch brings him a sense of comfort and safety.

• considering that frank's height ranges from 6'3-6'6, you're probably shorter than him. and yeah, he definitely utilizes his height advantage around you.

he loves by approaching you from behind and embracing you, regardless of your own height, and another plus is that he can easily lean down for a kiss!!

his height is particularly convenient around high shelves or objects that may be out of your reach. his height also provides a sense of protection and security for you because he can easily shield you from any harm that may come your way!

overall, 10/10 would date again.

a/n

WHY DO MY FICS KEEP GETTING LONGER AND LONGER LMFAOO.

i wanted to keep this fic relatively short but omg i could not fit everything i wanted in one post. part 2 maybe??

i love writing hc's because they're a lot more casual but my next post will probably be a regular oneshot. :))

xx, val.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Even if you think AI search could be good, it won’t be good

TONIGHT (May 15), I'm in NORTH HOLLYWOOD for a screening of STEPHANIE KELTON'S FINDING THE MONEY; FRIDAY (May 17), I'm at the INTERNET ARCHIVE in SAN FRANCISCO to keynote the 10th anniversary of the AUTHORS ALLIANCE.

The big news in search this week is that Google is continuing its transition to "AI search" – instead of typing in search terms and getting links to websites, you'll ask Google a question and an AI will compose an answer based on things it finds on the web:

https://blog.google/products/search/generative-ai-google-search-may-2024/

Google bills this as "let Google do the googling for you." Rather than searching the web yourself, you'll delegate this task to Google. Hidden in this pitch is a tacit admission that Google is no longer a convenient or reliable way to retrieve information, drowning as it is in AI-generated spam, poorly labeled ads, and SEO garbage:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/03/keyword-swarming/#site-reputation-abuse

Googling used to be easy: type in a query, get back a screen of highly relevant results. Today, clicking the top links will take you to sites that paid for placement at the top of the screen (rather than the sites that best match your query). Clicking further down will get you scams, AI slop, or bulk-produced SEO nonsense.

AI-powered search promises to fix this, not by making Google search results better, but by having a bot sort through the search results and discard the nonsense that Google will continue to serve up, and summarize the high quality results.

Now, there are plenty of obvious objections to this plan. For starters, why wouldn't Google just make its search results better? Rather than building a LLM for the sole purpose of sorting through the garbage Google is either paid or tricked into serving up, why not just stop serving up garbage? We know that's possible, because other search engines serve really good results by paying for access to Google's back-end and then filtering the results:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

Another obvious objection: why would anyone write the web if the only purpose for doing so is to feed a bot that will summarize what you've written without sending anyone to your webpage? Whether you're a commercial publisher hoping to make money from advertising or subscriptions, or – like me – an open access publisher hoping to change people's minds, why would you invite Google to summarize your work without ever showing it to internet users? Nevermind how unfair that is, think about how implausible it is: if this is the way Google will work in the future, why wouldn't every publisher just block Google's crawler?

A third obvious objection: AI is bad. Not morally bad (though maybe morally bad, too!), but technically bad. It "hallucinates" nonsense answers, including dangerous nonsense. It's a supremely confident liar that can get you killed:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/sep/01/mushroom-pickers-urged-to-avoid-foraging-books-on-amazon-that-appear-to-be-written-by-ai

The promises of AI are grossly oversold, including the promises Google makes, like its claim that its AI had discovered millions of useful new materials. In reality, the number of useful new materials Deepmind had discovered was zero:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

This is true of all of AI's most impressive demos. Often, "AI" turns out to be low-waged human workers in a distant call-center pretending to be robots:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/31/neural-interface-beta-tester/#tailfins

Sometimes, the AI robot dancing on stage turns out to literally be just a person in a robot suit pretending to be a robot:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

The AI video demos that represent "an existential threat to Hollywood filmmaking" turn out to be so cumbersome as to be practically useless (and vastly inferior to existing production techniques):

https://www.wheresyoured.at/expectations-versus-reality/

But let's take Google at its word. Let's stipulate that:

a) It can't fix search, only add a slop-filtering AI layer on top of it; and

b) The rest of the world will continue to let Google index its pages even if they derive no benefit from doing so; and

c) Google will shortly fix its AI, and all the lies about AI capabilities will be revealed to be premature truths that are finally realized.

AI search is still a bad idea. Because beyond all the obvious reasons that AI search is a terrible idea, there's a subtle – and incurable – defect in this plan: AI search – even excellent AI search – makes it far too easy for Google to cheat us, and Google can't stop cheating us.

Remember: enshittification isn't the result of worse people running tech companies today than in the years when tech services were good and useful. Rather, enshittification is rooted in the collapse of constraints that used to prevent those same people from making their services worse in service to increasing their profit margins:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags

These companies always had the capacity to siphon value away from business customers (like publishers) and end-users (like searchers). That comes with the territory: digital businesses can alter their "business logic" from instant to instant, and for each user, allowing them to change payouts, prices and ranking. I call this "twiddling": turning the knobs on the system's back-end to make sure the house always wins:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

What changed wasn't the character of the leaders of these businesses, nor their capacity to cheat us. What changed was the consequences for cheating. When the tech companies merged to monopoly, they ceased to fear losing your business to a competitor.

Google's 90% search market share was attained by bribing everyone who operates a service or platform where you might encounter a search box to connect that box to Google. Spending tens of billions of dollars every year to make sure no one ever encounters a non-Google search is a cheaper way to retain your business than making sure Google is the very best search engine:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

Competition was once a threat to Google; for years, its mantra was "competition is a click away." Today, competition is all but nonexistent.

Then the surveillance business consolidated into a small number of firms. Two companies dominate the commercial surveillance industry: Google and Meta, and they collude to rig the market:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

That consolidation inevitably leads to regulatory capture: shorn of competitive pressure, the companies that dominate the sector can converge on a single message to policymakers and use their monopoly profits to turn that message into policy:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

This is why Google doesn't have to worry about privacy laws. They've successfully prevented the passage of a US federal consumer privacy law. The last time the US passed a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988. It's a law that bans video store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you rented:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

In Europe, Google's vast profits lets it fly an Irish flag of convenience, thus taking advantage of Ireland's tolerance for tax evasion and violations of European privacy law:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

Google doesn't fear competition, it doesn't fear regulation, and it also doesn't fear rival technologies. Google and its fellow Big Tech cartel members have expanded IP law to allow it to prevent third parties from reverse-engineer, hacking, or scraping its services. Google doesn't have to worry about ad-blocking, tracker blocking, or scrapers that filter out Google's lucrative, low-quality results:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

Google doesn't fear competition, it doesn't fear regulation, it doesn't fear rival technology and it doesn't fear its workers. Google's workforce once enjoyed enormous sway over the company's direction, thanks to their scarcity and market power. But Google has outgrown its dependence on its workers, and lays them off in vast numbers, even as it increases its profits and pisses away tens of billions on stock buybacks:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

Google is fearless. It doesn't fear losing your business, or being punished by regulators, or being mired in guerrilla warfare with rival engineers. It certainly doesn't fear its workers.

Making search worse is good for Google. Reducing search quality increases the number of queries, and thus ads, that each user must make to find their answers:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

If Google can make things worse for searchers without losing their business, it can make more money for itself. Without the discipline of markets, regulators, tech or workers, it has no impediment to transferring value from searchers and publishers to itself.

Which brings me back to AI search. When Google substitutes its own summaries for links to pages, it creates innumerable opportunities to charge publishers for preferential placement in those summaries.

This is true of any algorithmic feed: while such feeds are important – even vital – for making sense of huge amounts of information, they can also be used to play a high-speed shell-game that makes suckers out of the rest of us:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/11/for-you/#the-algorithm-tm

When you trust someone to summarize the truth for you, you become terribly vulnerable to their self-serving lies. In an ideal world, these intermediaries would be "fiduciaries," with a solemn (and legally binding) duty to put your interests ahead of their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/07/treacherous-computing/#rewilding-the-internet

But Google is clear that its first duty is to its shareholders: not to publishers, not to searchers, not to "partners" or employees.

AI search makes cheating so easy, and Google cheats so much. Indeed, the defects in AI give Google a readymade excuse for any apparent self-dealing: "we didn't tell you a lie because someone paid us to (for example, to recommend a product, or a hotel room, or a political point of view). Sure, they did pay us, but that was just an AI 'hallucination.'"

The existence of well-known AI hallucinations creates a zone of plausible deniability for even more enshittification of Google search. As Madeleine Clare Elish writes, AI serves as a "moral crumple zone":

https://estsjournal.org/index.php/ests/article/view/260

That's why, even if you're willing to believe that Google could make a great AI-based search, we can nevertheless be certain that they won't.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/15/they-trust-me-dumb-fucks/#ai-search

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

djhughman https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Modular_synthesizer_-_%22Control_Voltage%22_electronic_music_shop_in_Portland_OR_-_School_Photos_PCC_%282015-05-23_12.43.01_by_djhughman%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[wifeyoozi]

ot13 seventeen : biggest turn-ons

seungcheol : watching you ride his thigh. something about your desperation as you ride his thigh makes him feral. he is going to be simultaneously praising and degrading you for being an obedient slvt for him, he's really hard but refuses to give in unless you have squirted over his muscular and strong thighs.

jeonghan : when you are being bratty. this man loves your bratty side because he knows you are doing it on purpose to be punished soon. you're gonna misbehave and tease him in public? be ready for overstimulation and edging the whole night then. he's very much into punishment sex and talking down to you during it.

joshua : bondage, especially shibari. to see you all tied up in rough jute ropes, restricting almost every movement of your and leaving you presented ready for him is a big time dick-hardener for him. the only thing better than seeing you tied up is when he is tying you up, tightening the ropes over your gentle skin so you can't move in any way other than how he wants you. (dw tho, he'll also pay you back during aftercare massages and cuddles;))

junhui : when you dom him. while he can perfectly hold you down and dom you, he just loves when you are being the one in charge. so turned on when you command him around and make him feel like a boytoy to be used just for your pleasure. lowkey loves getting degraded and slight impact play.

soonyoung : when you wear sexy costumes. he would looove roleplay. when you enter the bedroom wearing a french maid uniform, he is instantly turned on. when you wore a doctor's cost over your lingerie, a stethoscope around your neck, man is into the patient character with a hard dick instantly.

wonwoo : when you act innocent. i have a fantasy that he has a corruption kink. when you are playing innocenttowards dirty stuff (or even in cases when you actually are innocent), he just loves to corrupt your mind. he'll teach you how to fuck in different positions, how to suck him off, how to ride him like a good girl. something about the glint in your innocent w=eyes as you moan his name makes his dick twitch.

jihoon : when you wear expensive jewelry during sex. something is so incredibly hot about seeing you bounce over his dick while you wear the diamonds and pearls and gold he bought you. especially loves when you wear that one ruby set he bought (which had really been his inspiration for his mixtape). also if the jewelry is matched with the expensive silk and lace lingerie he had bought for you as well, man just gonna go feral blowing your back out.

minghao : when you moan his name. he loves hearing you moan in general, the beautiful voice of yours making those pretty and nasty sounds, the best music to his ears. but when you especially moan out his name (/nickname?), it just makes him so proud, knowing that he is very much responsible for the pleasure you have been feeling, that he is the cause of the noises you make.

mingyu : bulge kink. he knows he is big everywhere, with height muscles etc. but he is, like any man would be, extremely proud of his big dick. and to see your stomach bulge as he fucks you is so incredibly hot. he'd press on it just to hear you moan over the weight of his dick. will 100% increase his speed as much as he can so you both would be cumming and making a mess of it within minutes.

seokmin : eating you out. it turns him on so incredibly. he loves your heady scent and taste down there, the way it intoxicated him. number one pussy-drunk man. with that beautiful nose and tongue of his, he'll make you come hard. if you play your cards well and tug on his hair as he gives you the head, he may very much come untouched.

seungkwan : when you are on top of him. whether riding or cowgirl-ing him, he loves the way you whimper, bouncing on his dick, looking down at him. the view is just all he needs to get close soon. if you are cowgirl-ing him, he'll love watching your tits just bounce above him. if you are riding him, he loves snuggling his face between your boobs, biting the sensitive skin in between there.

vernon : when you masturbate for him. as much as he loves fucking you for real, he finds it very hot when you video call him during tours and show him how you masturbate. to hear the desperation in your voice is really something. he cannot keep his hands out of his pants everytime you send him a video of you masturbating when he is at work and finds it really difficult to concentrate at his workplace with the image of you fingering yourself while moaning his name. he'll take it all out on you when he gets back home to you.

dino : praising. he loves praising, both receiving and giving. he loves it when you praise him and tell him how well he fits you and how good he makes you feel just as much as he loves telling you how beautifully you take him and what a good girl you have been. like always said, this man is a big time simp and wont stop verbally worshipping your body. if you are riding him and call him a good boy while ruffling his hair, he'll almost immediately come.

[qqueenofhades]

hi I hope you don't mind but I would love to hear your long tired historian rant you mentioned in your tags on that one post, if you feel in the mood to share? (no pressure!)

(also thank you for existing, you do wonderful work and the world is a better place for you being in it)

Aha. Well. For context, the mention of said rant was in relation to this post:

Basically, this post struck a nerve because of how it exactly encapsulates the anti-intellectual, anti-academia, anti-historical, anti-reality thinking that is absolutely rampant in social media spaces, even and especially spaces that identify as leftist, liberal, or otherwise "superior" to the right wing when it comes to identifying fake news or misinformation. (Example A: anything ever written by a self-proclaimed leftist on Twitter.) We all know that there are huge problems with the American public school system (and the people writing this are almost always American) and the American practice of education in general, and that yes, there are many things that happened in the past (or y'know, the present!) that are not taught very well, or at all. But because the American public school system is so decentralized and largely autonomous, incredibly dependent on the temperament of local superintendents and/or school boards, taxation and funding, availability of teachers, requirement of useless standardized tests, etc., it is very difficult (if not outright impossible) to claim that this is the result of a Unified Grand Conspiracy To Not Teach Real History To The Youth In Order To Make Them Mindlessly Support Capitalism. That is the exact sort of deranged conspiratorial thinking that the right wing does and fits everything into a sinister narrative about how "They" are planning to keep you ignorant and therefore nothing harmful that you ever think or do is really your fault. It's not good.

(Whoosh. That was very calm and reasonable of me. For the rest of this post, please just picture Captain Holt "apparently that's a trigger for me" dot gif.)

Also: even in public school, and despite the Republicans' best efforts, there are plenty of opportunities to study complex or "controversial" subjects. For example, I spend a week every June grading AP Euro History exams with a lot of other educators in a giant windowless steel box (woo-hoo, fun times!) Every year, there are questions on the exam about women's rights, imperialism and exploitation, slavery/race relations, the development of capitalism and the current economic model, religion and science, the history of labor, and other topics that would be considered "controversial" if you're an idiot. This is an exam taken by high school students in all grades from across the country, and there are also AP World History and APUSH (US history) exams every year which are doubtless making an effort to address similar themes. This is an advanced program, yes, but it's widely available to many schools and is not a result of a sinister plot to keep the youth from discovering the truth. Also: you live in an era of absolutely unprecedented access to information. Put down the ChatGPT bullshit generator and visit a goddamn public library. Or even open Wikipedia. The tools are there for you to start educating yourself and they are so easy to find!!!!!

The "Historians Are Hiding The Truth!!!" narrative becomes even more ridiculous in university-level or professional academic historical-study spaces, especially when historical educators and associations (such as the American Historical Association) have been at the forefront of pushing back against right-wing efforts to censor history, punish teachers, and remove culture-war subjects from classrooms. Also as someone who has advanced degrees in history, has taught/worked in several universities in different countries, writes and publishes historical research, and otherwise participates professionally in the field: trust me, we aren't "hiding" shit. There are vigorous debates and disagreements on various bogglingly obscure subjects and points of clarification and so forth, but that doesn't mean we're not talking about them (trust me, we're often talking about them too much). If you're issuing confident blanket statements about how "historians are conspiring to hide x," you're an idiot.

This also has dangerous repercussions in the field of, say, politics and civics, where a lot of absolutely braindead Online Leftists have spent the last four years posting deranged nonsense on social media and then, whenever they're called out on it for that not actually being how anything works at all, whining that "I was never taught this!!!" (And yet, it somehow never actually changes their perspective or their theories....) They whine about how "they didn't know this" and it was someone else's fault, they make up total fantasy about what the Biden administration did or should have done and now are still happy about Trump coming back because "It will teach the Democrats a lesson!!!" and otherwise accelerating us oh-so-quickly down that slippery slippery fascism slope. Their weaponized ignorance and their magical fantasies about what "should" have happened often come back to this same learned helplessness, where it's everyone else's fault (especially Capitalism's) that they're total wankers. Look: I'm not a goddamn fan of capitalism either. But we all grew up in this same system, and some of us aren't raving idiots, so at some point, you have to take the tiniest modicum of personal responsibility for the information you seek out, the content you consume, the opinions you propagate, and the people you surround yourself with. Shocking.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Online Leftists are actively and unrepentantly enabling American fascism and should be treated in the same way as we treat MAGA when it comes to deciding what is good or worthwhile information. This is because their entire political philosophy (insofar as their beliefs can be dignified with the term) is based on the "make shit up and remove it from any basic empirical references, grounding in reality, or 'should I run the most basic Google search and see if I'm completely talking out of my ass in a distorted social media echo chamber? Nah I'm good' " technique. This is, as the original tweet above references, trying to retcon sheer malicious laziness and stupidity into grand ideological theories about how it's actually "better" that they don't know a damn thing and won't shut up. It's your evil history teacher's fault, or "academics are all rich and elitist" (ask any academic-precariat person like me and we will laugh hollowly and then throw monkey poop at you), or "They" wouldn't let you learn this, or on and on. Even in our terrible, awful, no-good very-bad timeline, there are still ample tools to educate yourself, to learn how to filter out bad information and junk news, and otherwise gird yourself even a little for the even-more-massive assault on empirical reality that we are about to experience in the next four years (ugh). I suggest you take advantage of them.

[kayesfanfics]

X-Men 97’ Nightcrawler x Reader

Warnings: ‼️X-MEN 97’ SPOILERS‼️, smut under the cut, cuteness overload-

A/N: KURT IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE X-MAN/MARVEL CHARACTER IN GENERAL I ADORE HIM SO OF COURSE I HAD TO WRITE FOR HIM AFTER THE NEW EPISODE. I really hope we see him join the team or at least just more of him!

You were a mutant on Genosha when you met Kurt, he had helped show you and the other mutants around from your ship the island, and you had followed the handsome blue boy around like a lost little puppy. He was charming and mischievous, flirty with a cute fangy smile on his face. After the official tour was over, you asked him to show you some hidden gems of the island, to which he bowed and kissed your hand, “As you wish!” before teleporting the two of you away from the crowd. He had showed you a beautiful, peaceful and tropical spot away from everyone else, where the two of you got to know each other, soon becoming friends and meeting at that spot almost every day

He’d ask you out on a date pretty quick, he’s not shy about flirting at all and will make it clear that he finds you attractive and would like to know you more intimately. He’d take you to a nice restaurant, showing up in a dashing suit to impress you and his curls gelled back in a slick style. Will compliment you on your dress/suit and have you twirl for him to see the full outfit, saying “Mein gott! You look absolutely stunning, liebe!” before pulling out your seat for you like a gentleman and ordering a nice bottle of wine for the both of you to have with your dinner

After dinner you go for a walk around the gardens, holding Kurt’s arm he held out for you. His tail would curl around one of your legs as you talked, sitting on a bench together to view the night sky above the beautiful greenery together. He’d want to know your life story and would share his with you, he’d want to know what you like to do, what you hate, what you’re afraid of, what you love, and he’d share all of that about himself with you as well

After a few dates you became official, more often than not staying with each other in your homes (we’ll get to what goes on in the bedroom later😉). He’s a huge cuddler for sure, wants both his arms around you and his tail curled around your waist or leg. He doesn’t mind being big spoon or little spoon, he’s perfectly content and happy with both and just wants to feel your skin against his. He’s big on physical affection and PDA, he just loves you so much and he’s a physical guy in general. Wants to be able to hold your hand, give you kisses, wrap an arm around your waist, anything as long as he touching you in some way. Plus he likes to show off how lucky he got with you, showing you off and always making sure everyone knows he’s taken. He’s highly sought after, after all (if you ask him)

He’s always got a date planned, he’s definitely not one of those guys that lets the other do all the work in the relationship. He’ll take you to your favorite restaurants, do your favorite activities, anything you would like to do. He’s adventurous and will try anything once, and will always make an effort to do things you enjoy. He will teach you some sword fighting skills, just you know how to use them and plus, do some borderline erotic sparring sessions with him of course! It’s something he enjoys and wants to do with you, but if he ever cut you with a sword he’d want to damn himself to Hell because HOW DARE HE GIVE YOU A CUT LESS THAN A CENTIMETER LONG?! HE’S THE WORST PERSON TO EVER EXIST. He will bandage it and kiss it better, begging your forgiveness despite you already saying it wasn’t a big deal and it didn’t even hurt at all

When you were recruited to the X-Men, he was offered a spot as well so the both of you packed up and moved to the X-Mansion so you could help mutants from there. On missions, he’ll always catch you if you fall and teleport you out of harms way. Definitely flirts during battle as well and likes to show off his skills to you, making you giggle and smile at him before focusing back on the mission. If you get hurt during it, he’ll teleport you to the mansion immediately to the medical room before going to help his teammates so he can get you their help quicker. Will spend lots of time with you and cuddle with you while you recover, you don’t have to lift a finger, this man will get you whatever you want

He does like to tease you a lot, things like squeezing your butt as you walk by or giving it a light smack with his tail. Will whisper innuendos and jokes to you during important meetings and such to make you giggle, to which Scott gives you a deadpan stare until the two of you refocus. His tail will move up your pants or skirt under the table, making your face heat up

He’s constantly winning you over long after you’ve become official. Will still bring you flowers, will still flirt with you, but he’s also the type to be like “Would you still love me if I was a bug?” He does need some reassurance due to his looks and how he’s been hated because of them, like, HE knows he’s sexy, but he wants to make sure YOU think he’s sexy. And you assure him you think he is⬇️⬇️

NSFW Under the Cut

Oh he is SUCH a lover boy. He’s more focused on your pleasure than his own for sure, and my man is SKILLED and EXPERIENCED (everyone wants a taste of the fuzzy man-). His hands will be all over your body, even his tail will be wrapped around you as well, and he’ll be mindlessly blabbering on and on in English and German about how much he loves you and how beautiful/handsome he thinks you are. My dude is AMAZING at giving you head, doesn’t matter which genitals you have, he’s got experience with both and will have your legs shaking and your back arched far off the bed during round one. If you’re AFAB, he’d know exactly where the clit is and exactly how to pleasure it, rather than just roughly rubbing it and calling it good. If you’re AMAB, he’d for sure be fingering your ass while sucking you off, his other hand squeezing your thigh and spreading your legs for him while his tail holds your other leg for him, or even smacks your ass with it teasingly

You often insist on giving him head in return, which of course he doesn’t mind but HE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE SEX ABOUT YOU, when you want to make it about HIM sometimes. He’s so loving, caring and sweet to you, you just want to show him how much you love him as well and sometimes have to get that through his fuzzy head. He loves body worship for sure, so he’d love to hear you say how hot and sexy and handsome and adorable and beautiful he is while the two of you make love to each other, it’d make him cum 10x harder and faster

He’d lowkey be kind of basic and love missionary, but he’s certainly not vanilla. He just wants to be able to see your face and to hold you close to him, so missionary tends to be good for that, but he’d also love it if you rode him and watch your chest bounce and toss your head back at the feeling of his cock inside of you. I honestly think he’s got more girth and length, but definitely not too short at all and would fit perfectly inside of you. He also likes to hold your hand during sex, which may be cheesy but he just wants to make sure you’re okay the whole time

Being in a mansion with many others, it is sometimes hard to find privacy and quiet time for longer than 20 minutes, so he’ll sometimes teleport the two of you elsewhere so you’re not interrupted. When in your room at the mansion though, he likes to make you scream while teasing you to be quiet and that someone will hear you, covering your mouth with his hand or kissing you muffle your loud moans and whines for him. But when the two of you walk out to the living quarters to join some of the others, Jubilee and Roberto will not make eye contact, Morph will give Kurt a knowing smirk and a high five, while Gambit outright says “You know we could hear y’all at it all the way down here-“ before Scott gives you two the disappointed dad look and says “There are children residing here.”

Kurt: And how exactly did Jean get pregnant?

Scott: 😳

Kurt: Yeah, that’s what I thought-

[ohbo-ohno]

Mmm you know non-con with gaz would get so weird cuz I don't think he'd even process that's what he's doing. So he talking all sweet and probably isn't even being all that rough, which just throws a mind fuck on top of it all

omg i've been reading a bunch of gaz posts recently, so this is perfect timing for this ask

i think when we're talking about noncon fics in general, both soap and gaz are the types to not really realize (or at least care) that you're not consenting, but for completely different reasons. so like gaz (depending on this fic obvi but like, just generally) is soooo convinced that he's perfect for you & he could make you so happy, you just don't understand. it's okay, he'll be the one to teach you <3

he's sooo good to you, why are you even upset? he's rubbing your clit just how he knows you like it, he's calling you sweet names and he's not even fucking you that hard, nowhere near as hard as he wants to :( but it's okay, he knows you're sensitive and whiny, and he'll just wipe away your tears and give you a nice orgasm or two to make you feel better

or maybe you try to break up with him for this reason or that, and he knows you're making the wrong choice, and he knows that you know you're making the wrong choice, he just has to show you. so he does - he takes you to bed, silences all your protests with his lips, holds your hands as he fucks you just rough enough to make you go a little dumb, tucking his lips close to your ear and whispering all the ways he'll show you how perfect you are together, every surface he'll show you on and in the exact positions he'll use

sometimes you might not even fully realize that you didn't say yes, or maybe you even said no. he's nice about it all, every time you whisper that you want to go a little slower he says yeah, yeah of course love, we can do whatever you want and even if he doesn't actually go any slower, his lips feel so good against yours, and you don't want him to stop, yknow? so what if he takes things a little further than you maybe wanted him to, it's not like he's hurting you really. he's just being sweet <3

[gutsby]

Joel Miller

Waiting Game (dbf!Joel)

Joel has mastered the art of self-control in all areas except one: not fucking his friend’s daughter. A cross-country road trip home from college takes a hard turn when he’s forced to share a motel room with you.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

One shots for the Waiting Game ‘verse

Homemade: While your dad’s watching a movie downstairs, you and his best friend decide to make one of your own.

Diehard: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Ruined!: Joel is an old man who struggles to cum sometimes. You’ve got time to kill and a tight hole to fill.

Cabin Fever (Dark!Joel x Dark!Reader) [DEAD DOVE]

Joel saves your life, but help comes at a price.

Confines: Joel locks you up in a subterranean bunker.

Finders Keepers (bfd!Joel)

When you find an old shirt of Mr. Miller’s lying around, you can’t resist. When he finds you humping a pillow and moaning his name, neither can he.

Cry, Baby

Joel fucks you to the point of tears. That’s all.

Just Peachy [anal]

Joel’s got a jealous streak and a bold idea.

Wingman (himbo!Joel crackfic)

Your bestie braves the tampon aisle for you.

Watch Your Mouth

Joel teaches you to keep quiet during sex.

Love Tap (dad!Joel)

Old habits die hard with your husband—touching you at inappropriate times is one of them.

If You Like Piña Coladas (neighbor!Joel)

You secretly make Joel a profile on Hinge. Then he shows you exactly why he doesn’t need one.

My Body, His Choice [freeuse]

After a long day, Joel just needs some relief.

Who’s Your Daddy? (stepdad!Joel)

You get stuck in the washing machine. Thankfully, your stepdad is around to help you out.

Make It Stick

Joel never thought he’d need a vasectomy. Then, one night, he accidentally finishes inside you.

Stiff: At fifty-nine, Joel isn’t sure his dick can keep up with every day it’s going to take to get you pregnant. He seeks help from Jackson’s local apothecary and gets more than bargained for when that little blue pill kicks in.

Cowboy Killers

On a mission to find—and fight—your best friend’s lying, cheating boyfriend at the bar, you end up throwing your drink in the wrong face and landing in a sticky situation with Joel Miller, who never plays fair.

Seeing Pink [DD/LG]

Joel steals more of your innocence every day. Fortunately, you love to give as much as he loves to take.

Easy to Please (sleazy landlord!Joel)

Months pass, and you can’t make rent—again. You find another way to pay your sleazy landlord. Again.

Wants and Needs (sugar daddy!Joel)

Bills are high; your dad’s boss wants to help. How you pay him stays between you and him—for now.

Bigger in Texas

Joel won’t fit.

Marcus Acacius

Bloodline

The General needs an heir.

Bucky Barnes

Wedded Bliss (Mob!Bucky)

The marriage was arranged, and the sex is deranged. Bucky is so obsessed with your pussy that he almost forgets he’s meant to be faking this whole thing—and hating it, like sworn enemies are supposed to do.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Daryl Dixon

Dead Ringer

Weeks of separation and sexual frustration come to a head when Daryl pays you a visit in the middle of the night. Whether it's the product of your own sex-deprived subconscious or reality, you can't be sure—and couldn't care less. Daryl wants to fulfill the fantasy any way he can.

Easy Street

You steal a cop car and almost run Daryl over en route to the Sanctuary. You can’t decide if you want to fight him, fuck him, or bring him back to Negan. Lucky for you, Daryl is game for all three.

Nighthawk

You decide to bring Spencer to the neighborhood Halloween bash to take your mind off your breakup with Daryl. Your ex isn't so easily convinced of your intentions and decides there's no better place than his motorcycle to show you just how much he misses you.

Cherry Pie

You know virtually nothing about sex, and Daryl’s done it all. Together, you take on an impromptu anatomy lesson, and you learn that Daryl has a lot more to teach you than what’s covered in the textbooks.

Walker Bait

An unforeseen foray into a sex shop leaves you and Daryl trapped between a plastic cock and a hard place as a herd of walkers closes in. Angry sex ensues.

Grow a Uterus and We’ll Talk

Daryl has a bad case of baby fever, to put it lightly. You’re practically terrified of children. Rick lends you his kid for the night, and together, you come to learn that parenthood might not be the worst thing in the world. Even easier than baking muffins, one might say.

Honey Trap

You’ve been tasked with two simple jobs: infiltrate Alexandria’s community and bring intel back to your boss by any means necessary. When your entry point into the group takes the form of a familiar blue-eyed archer, you expect this to be your easiest gig yet—that is, until your prey decides to hunt you back.

Pregnant Pause

Babymaking is a bit trickier than anticipated, and months have passed with no sign of pregnancy. When your period finally doesn’t show up on time, you and Daryl act fast and head straight for the pharmacy—and get a little caught up along the way.

Mr. Dixon

Your efforts to seduce the DILF next door have all failed spectacularly, so you decide a wet hot car wash in front of his house is in order. Mr. Dixon is less than impressed with your antics and plans to teach you a lesson in good manners and ‘neighborliness.’

I’m a Good Girl, Officer!

Apparently flashing your tits to truckers on the freeway is frowned upon in small towns like yours. When three familiar King County cops take charge of the case, you learn they punish bad girls a little differently.

Playing Dangerous

Working undercover in a seedy part of town, homicide detective Daryl sees you in your skimpy club attire and mistakes you for a hooker. A wrongful arrest makes for a funny way to foreplay, but you’re still game.

Fake It Til You Make It (Or Drown)

Daryl finds out you faked an orgasm. Instead of getting mad, he decides to get even.

Best Served Cold

Since your fiancé can’t seem to keep his hands off of Lori, you decide Daryl is the perfect way to make him pay. Revenge sex has never felt so good.

Coming Soon:

Bite the Bullet

Back at the prison, new recruits have been showering you with gifts. One of these presents doesn’t sit quite right with Daryl, and he decides it’s time to let the men know just how he feels—and who you belong to.

Atlantic City

A very drunk Daryl meets a stripper in Jersey and wastes no time putting a ring on her finger. With the late, great Elvis Presley presiding, the two get hitched in a slipshod ceremony a couple weeks before the world descends into chaos. This marriage may be short-lived, but damn if the honeymoon won’t be one to remember.

Requests are open!

[elysiansparadise]

Jupiter in the composite chart

🤍Jupiter in Aries🤍

Both will feel more energetic, motivated and ambitious with each other. You will feel that spark that will drive you to enjoy life intensely alongside each other. After a boring and tired day you will only need to see each other to feel that recharge of batteries and feel that impetus and strength returning to you. They will feel very good about themselves, their self-respect will improve and the mentality of making their boundaries respected and valued will emerge. Being with the other person will bring back your enthusiasm and you will both be motivated to try new and exciting things that you have always wanted to do. You will experience all kinds of exciting sensations and feelings.

🤍Jupiter in Taurus🤍

After starting this relationship, you will feel more confidence and more stability in your life. You will easily enter into your sensual and romantic energy and you will be able to better develop your patience. This relationship will give them calm and will give them both the feeling of having finally found that cozy spot where they are safe. Both will naturally evoke in the other the desire to shower the other with meaningful gifts, details and gestures. They will give what they receive in a practical sense and will allow themselves to be pampered by the other in every way. If you decide to start a business, the presence of others in your lives can be a great push to make your goals a reality.

🤍Jupiter in Gemini🤍

It is very likely that your partner brings out your most communicative, curious and fun side. Even if they are very quiet in their daily lives, this will not be the case when they are with each other. Your partner will make you feel comfortable to share and ask about all kinds of issues. Your lives will become more dynamic and entertaining with each other by your side. This connection will feel unique due to the enormous mental affinity they feel, they will connect in many aspects and learn a lot from each other. The other will become their partner in crime, they will trust a lot in what the other says and their words and advice will remain in their minds and hearts. When entering the relationship, manifesting will be easier for both of you.

🤍Jupiter in Cancer🤍

The tenderness and affection that they awaken in each other is sublime, and they felt it from the beginning of their connection. They both teach and help each other on an emotional level, accept and adore every part of their partner's heart. They make themselves feel that they are safe and that there is no reason to hide everything their heart and soul have to offer. They feel a fervent desire to care for, protect and be close to each other, they love to know each other completely and adore each other with all the energy they have. They feel enormous familiarity with the other, they may have the feeling of knowing each other before, likewise, they feel that the other knows perfectly what you need to be happy.

🤍Jupiter in Leo🤍

You will feel more confident in yourself, more free to show to the other who you really are, and you will feel that you can be happy next to your person, who will passionately love every side of you, even if you don't often show them or feel insecure about it. You two feel like you are dating your number one fan. There is a lot of desire between you, but also admiration and respect, because you see in the other a person who inspires you. They genuinely enjoy each other's company, as it adds excitement, joy and romance. They will learn what a generous relationship is in which the other person is willing to love you as intensely as you do. You will both feel very proud to call the other your partner, prepare to show off and be show off all the time!

🤍Jupiter in Virgo🤍

The devotion they feel for each other and the relationship is noticeable from the beginning, they will awaken the other's curiosity as well as that instinct to help and support at all times. They will feel more encouraged and motivated to give the best of themselves in all areas, the other will be a huge motivator in life. It will be easy for them to give themselves completely in the relationship. They will expand each other's knowledge. It is likely that they came into each other's lives to help and give direction and stability to the life of their special person. They will give the other the feeling that everything is finally in order, that they can be calm. Likewise, in this relationship they will always look for activities that they can do together, no matter how small it is.

🤍Jupiter in Libra🤍

Oh this couple loves each other, they know it, the world knows it. Love and flirting flow naturally between both, evoking the most romantic feelings in each other, even those they never imagined they would feel with someone. There is a strong sense of camaraderie and balance, no one gives more than the other, they seek to be reciprocal as much as they can. They will awaken the sensitive, delicate and considerate side of each other. Likewise, they will teach their special person to use both their heart and mind in a balanced way without shutting the other side. They will teach themselves to depend a little on each other and not do everything on their own, they will know that they can count on the other.

🤍Jupiter in Scorpio🤍

They will see and feel that they have finally found someone who, no matter how complex your inner world feels, will try to get to know you completely without judging, only with so much love to give. The other will give you a sense of power and confidence, you will feel capable of many things and you will be certain that you have finally found someone to whom you can give your trust. They will awaken the sensual and seductive side of the other, as well as this curiosity to know each other deeply, from skin to soul. With each other, you will feel that you can express those deep emotions and in addition, you will create a deep bond full of understanding and loyalty. They will want to be there for each other no matter what.

🤍Jupiter in Sagittarius🤍

Being together makes them feel like the luckiest people in the world, the happiest and most satisfied with their lives, they feel that they have everything they need and that they can easily get what they want. The other brings excitement, moments of joy and a feeling of wanting to live to the fullest into their lives. Worries fade away and instead, a burst of hope and happiness fills your spirit. They will learn to be bolder, to take things calmly and to enjoy life a little more. You will be able to talk about deep and personal topics with each other, and you will also learn to see things differently with each other's enlightening points of view. They will become more independent and playful with the presence of their person.

🤍Jupiter in Capricorn🤍

Both of you will become more realistic with the help of the other, more focused and may have this desire to truly commit to the relationship and the other. Their responsibility will grow considerably in this relationship and they will be able to face problems with maturity and assertiveness. They will feel the energy to go after what they want, their ambitions will grow and they will be excited to plan a future side by side. You will admire and inspire each other by your willingness to work hard and strive, and you will feel that you are capable of going far with each other's presence or encouragement. Many of those things that you once dreamed of will come true with the entrance of the other into your lives.

🤍Jupiter in Aquarius🤍

They will mutually teach each other to act autonomously, to not give importance to what others have to say or give their opinion. They feel that with each other they can express in an authentic and direct way what they feel. They will learn to be more independent and true to themselves. Being with each other makes you more open, more empathetic and more at peace with yourself. They will try many new things with each other and they will always have this willingness to listen to each other and try to understand each other no matter how different they may seem. They will tend to be more understanding and compassionate towards each other, both will be as one and will ensure to be fair in the relationship no matter what.

🤍Jupiter in Pisces🤍

This relationship will give them the impression of living a dream, emotionally there will be a strong connection and they will feel that the other understands them perfectly. They see in each other the muse that inspires them so much in their daily lives, and of course, to those who are artists. They will teach themselves to feel their emotions genuinely and they will give each other's hearts a feeling of pure love, calm and peace. The other has a calming effect on you and you will feel in paradise when the other is around. The other will help them believe that beautiful things can happen, it will give them certainty that the tender and romantic side of love is something they can and deserve to experience.

🤎Jupiter in the 1st house🤎

This relationship will make you feel blessed in many ways, many things in your personal lives will begin to feel like they are going well and you will feel very comfortable in the relationship. You will see life with better eyes, you will feel more vitalized and optimistic, likewise, you will feel better about yourself as a person. They will give each other a lot of strength and motivation to achieve what they set out to do, and they will feel that with each other they are unstoppable. They will see the other as a lucky charm and a ray of light in their life. They will be the advisor, support and driving force of the other, and they will also leave great teachings.

🤎Jupiter in the 2nd house🤎

You can gain a lot of stability in your life by being together, and not just financially but in general. Likewise, your self-esteem and sense of self-worth can increase greatly thanks to the presence of the other person. When they are together they feel like they have everything they need, they feel safe and they feel like they are at a very stable point in their lives. They teach themselves to be more generous and will share a lot with others. Both will help each other bring into the material world everything they once dreamed of, they will feel strong support from their partner and they will have the common vision of improving themselves on a personal level.

🤎Jupiter in the 3rd house🤎

Talking to each other will put you in a good mood easily. They will feel that they found someone who not only listens to their ideas, but also values ​​them and is interested in them. They will acquire a lot of knowledge in this relationship, they will learn endless things not only about love, but in general. They will admire the knowledge that the other has. They will feel that they connect mentally with each other like they do not with anyone. Stress and overthink will fade in this relationship, you will become more inventive and mentally active. You will feel that your ideas are better when you are with your partner. They will see things in a more positive way and bring a lot of joy to each other's lives.

🤎Jupiter in the 4th house🤎

One of the many beautiful things about this is the feeling of genuine happiness, comfort and the great trust they feel for each other. Positive lessons await them regarding emotions, they will learn to accept their needs thanks to the support of their partner. A duo full of love, happy memories and a lot of emotional and unconditional support. They will learn to express themselves better emotionally. With this person you can form a big and beautiful family, they may have similar visions about it. It will be very easy for you to give comfort and make the other person feel safe, protected and good emotionally. Emotional healing in this relationship will be an important topic.

🤎Jupiter in the 5th house🤎

The joy in your lives will expand with this relationship, which will fill you with a lot of romance, a lot of happiness and many experiences together as couples. You are likely to take many trips together and teach each other to enjoy their own hobbies. There will be a lot of flirting and regardless of the passing of the years, they will look as in love as the first day. They will feel more creative, more authentic and more spontaneous with each other's presence, they will feel comfortable showing their feelings. It may indicate good parenting and a similar vision regarding raising children. Your inner child will feel delighted with the other, very safe and loved.

🤎Jupiter in the 6th house🤎

You will feel more vitalized, stronger and you will add interesting and fun things to each other's routine. They can advance at work more easily from the beginning of the relationship. There will be something about you as a couple, be it your dynamic or your natural affinity that will make everyday things seem like something you could do together for a long time. They will feel better in health, both physically and mentally, after entering into this relationship and they will always make sure that the other is well. They will teach themselves to take better care of themselves. The other will show a lot of gratitude and appreciation for the other's actions.

🤎Jupiter in the 7th house🤎

This is a good indicator of marriage, since the coexistence between you plus the affinity, both romantic and in terms of values, makes you think that you have found the right person to take that big step. They see relationships in a similar way, and this bond, while feeling like a strong spiritual connection, feels like something dynamic, fun and eye-opening in many ways. Relationships can be difficult at times due to the degree of commitment, but with this placement, it will be easy to commit and love the other. Beyond just loving each other and feeling attracted, they will feel a high degree of respect and admiration towards their partner, whom they will see as a master.

🤎Jupiter in the 8th house🤎

They will awaken the most intense emotions in each other, they will know their darkside better and the other will love them deeply and totally. There is a high degree of devotion among you. This relationship will bring many positive changes, they will overcome traumas or emotional wounds together. Sex will be very important for this couple and very passionate and pleasant too. You will enjoy every part of the intimacy with each other, both sexual and non-sexual. When faced with relationship problems, they will always listen to each other and face them effectively, trying to make the other person feel good without losing honesty and love.

🤎Jupiter in the 9th house🤎

This relationship will bring with it many positive learnings, the other person will take you to new concepts, experiences and places. You may feel luckier with the entry of this person into your life, more blessed even. Both will always manage to surprise each other and constantly teach each other new things. You will grow a lot as a person for the better and you will develop a lot of wisdom. The vision they have of life will become bright colors and a lot of positivity, the other person will help them see the good side of things and not get demotivated when there doesn't seem to be anything good in a situation. Joy, an exciting journey of new emotions, travel as a couple and a lot of growth.

🤎Jupiter in the 10th house🤎

Job and professional opportunities will come to you more frequently. The other person will help you think long term and have clear goals, and not only that, but they will help and motivate each other to achieve them. This relationship can make them feel better and improve as a person. It is common for people to emphasize this, because this relationship will be one of the best they will have. Glow ups during the relationship are common. Chances are good that you work very well together and have a similar work ethic. They will admire each other a lot and show the other how proud they should feel of themselves. They can easily achieve success by being together.

🤎Jupiter in the 11th house🤎

Both will feel more idealistic about each other, they will have an enormous number of plans and desires for the future in which they visualize their partner by their side, and fortunately for both of them, it is very likely that they will come true. Their circle of friendship expands with each other, being able to meet great people thanks to each other. Your vision of the future and humanity may be more positive. They will learn to have a more open mind and see things from other points of view. Promotions and raises are common after starting the relationship, likewise, several inflows of money can arrive for both. The sense of friendship is never lost regardless of the nature of the relationship.

🤎Jupiter in the 12th house🤎

When you look into each other's eyes, a feeling of calm and joy will fill you. They will awaken in the other that dreamy side, that side of their emotions, deep and sublime that they do not usually explore. The relationship will feel magical, the connection between you will be inexplicable at first, but it will not be for your souls, who connect on a deep level and tune in easily. They will give some light to that darkness of the other, they will be able to express and speak everything that they keep silent about. This relationship can be extremely healing for both of you, and can be very revealing on a personal level. Heaviness, burdens and sadness fade when their eyes meet.

[lovebugism]

hiii can i pls request shy!reader where eddie teaches her guitar but she keeps getting distracted by her crush on him and then they confess to each other 🥰 idk I'm just obsessed with eddie and guitars in general haha

ty for requesting!! — in which eddie calls his two favorite things sweetheart, his guitar and you (friends to lovers, fluff, 1.7k)

bug's summer fic fest (⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Eddie’s bedroom is heavy with an early summer heat. There’s one square window above his bed where the golden hour sun filters through directly. It spotlights the guitar hanging above his dresser, sparkling with bits of swirling dust in the air. 

“Sorry I’m late, sweetheart,” Eddie greets the instrument, as though it were a real thing with feelings. You idle behind him and watch in the mirror as he kisses two of his fingers and presses them to the strings. A crooked smirk sits lazily on his mouth at the graceless sound it makes.

“Is that its name?” you joke in a mousy voice, clammy hands wringing as thoughts of nonbelonging strangle you. You feel utterly out of place here, in this mess of boyish chaos — with heavy metal posters of bands you don’t know and movie prints with references you don’t recognize. 

The boy standing beneath it all turns to face you. He looks at you with the smile he always looks at you with — distant, pink, and quiet — like he doesn’t even know it’s there. And you feel at home all over again.

“Huh?” Eddie chuckles.

“Sweetheart,” you add.

“Sure,” he shrugs, scratching at the wild curls coiled at the nape of his neck. Another laugh sputters from his smiling mouth. “Might as well be, I guess. I’ve been callin’ her that since I got her.”

“Oh… It’s a she now, too?”

There’s a foreign twinkle in your sheepish gaze. A mischievous sort of glint Eddie only gets to see when you’re feeling brave enough to show it to him — comfortable enough, anyway. It makes his chest warm with pride, knowing he’s cracking away at the shell you so often hide behind.

“Uh-huh,” Eddie cajoles, nodding as he scrunches the bridge of his nose. With his hands on his leans hips, he walks the short distance to you. His sneakers sound heavy on the worn carpet. “She’s got all the features of a beautiful woman, too, you know? Strong but delicate. Easy to understand when you get to know her, but always slightly complicated in her own way.”

You forget to blink until he’s looming over you. Until his towering form blocks the flow of the tiny fan whirring on his desk. Until you can smell the pine of his cologne and the mint of his aftershave with every trembling inhale.

The petaled smirk on his rosy mouth makes your breath catch. His dark eyes are round like buttons, and they glimmer like melted chocolate as he peers down at you — like he’s talking to you directly. 

You feel utterly see-through beneath his unwavering stare. With your heart in your throat, you turn away. “Well, you’d know better than me, I guess,” you falter, voice trembling as you force a breathy laugh. 

Eddie doesn’t seem nearly as fazed by the proximity. His eyes narrow in a challenging squint. “Wanna learn how to play?”

You flash him a wide-eyed stare in response. A distant smile wavers at the edges of your mouth ‘cause you figure he must be joking. Eddie only grins in response, raising his brows in an expectant look, and you cower all over again.

“Oh, I… I don’t… I don’t know,” you stammer hopelessly and twist your anxious hands into a knot. “I don’t think I have, you know, the— the deftness for it or whatever…”

Eddie scoffs a faint laugh and steps back from you. He plucks the instrument from the wall in a few short steps. “Well, how about we just pretend I know what that word means while I teach you?” he jokes with the guitar cradled in an expert hand. 

His rings match the silver strings and the metal dials you don’t recognize. The black paint pairs well with his leather jacket, and the cracked scarlet pattern with his Hellfire tee. It looks like it was crafted with only him in mind. 

The mattress squeaks under his weight when he plops along the edge of it.

You shift on your feet in front of him, visibly unsure. “I don’t wanna break it,” you fret.

“You’re not gonna break it,” Eddie laughs with a smile that reveals all his teeth. He tosses his chin back to shake wild curls from his face, then squints solemnly at you. “Unless you’ve got, like, some kinda super-strength I don’t know about… You’re not a superhero, are you?”

You tilt your cheek to your shoulder in a sheepish look. “I can neither confirm nor deny,” you answer in a sarcastic murmur.

“Hm. That’s exactly what a superhero would say…” he teases, just to make you laugh, then smiles as he pats the bed beside him. “Here. C’mon. Sit down.”

Despite your better judgment, you sit in the spare spot next to him. The mattress is hard beneath you, worsened by your inability to get comfortable with Eddie’s body so close to yours. It makes you tense, so aware of yourself and him and this moment.

You keep a couple measured inches between you, which Eddie closes with little effort. His thigh presses to your thigh as he ushers the guitar into your lap. He maneuvers himself behind you, with an arm wormed around your back, so he’s got your left hand in his. His chest is flush against your shoulder. His wild curls tickle your neck. You have to remind yourself to breathe.

“Put your hands… like this…” Eddie mumbles as he guides your fingers over the neck of the guitar. When he’s set them in a stair-step pattern over the strings, he ducks his head to look at you. His wide eyes dart over your face. “That feel good?”

You nod wordlessly, skin buzzing under his touch.

“Good. Now, all you have to do is strum.”

You lift your wrist and hope he doesn’t notice how your hand shakes. Your fingers brush the steel strings. A quiet, distorted noise fills the quiet bedroom. 

Eddie grins wide despite your feeble attempt. “See? You’ve already got the hardest part down,” he beams. When you don’t laugh at his futile effort to make you laugh, his smile wavers. “Hey… You can relax, you know? Sweetheart’s not gonna bite you.”

“No, I know,” you waver, then remember to breathe.

“Then why’s it feel like I’m sittin’ next to a rock?”

“‘Cause this is, like, your most prized possession,” you laugh. “And I’m… the clumsiest person on the earth, and you’re letting me touch it anyway.”

“‘Cause you’re my second most prized possession,” Eddie quips.

You meet his smile with a knowing squint. “You don’t own me, Eds.”

His eyes narrow similarly. “Don’t act like you’re not flattered.” 

His breath fans across your cheek at the proximity. A dizzying concoction of nicotine and spearmint gum. Your eyes flit to his lips, for a flicker of a moment, and you realize he’s close now enough to kiss. 

Something about it makes you panic. Words spill from your mouth in stumbled rambles accordingly. “I just— I know I’m not gonna be any good at it, and it’s just gonna be a huge waste of time for both of us, so—”

Eddie scoffs. “If you don’t wanna spend time with me, you coulda just said.”

The mattress squeaks when he starts to shift away from you. His chest moves off your shoulder and leaves you cold, even in the suffocating humidity. Your heart wrenches. “It’s not that— don’t go,” you plead in a tiny voice.

Eddie, who hadn’t really wanted to leave in the first place, gravitates to you again with little effort. “So you do wanna spend time with me?” he wonders, equal parts teasing and searching for assurance.

You swallow hard, then nod.

“Just, maybe, without the guitar?” Eddie presses.

“I think we’d both be better off if I just watched you play it, honestly.”

“Ooh,” the boy croons, brows bouncing beneath his fluffy bangs. “So you like to watch, huh?”

Your eyes roll. “Don’t be daft.”

Eddie laughs and presses himself against you again — chest against your back, arm against your arm. “Here. C’mon. Just try again, alright? For me.” You let him guide your hand back to the neck of the guitar. His warm, ringed fingers cradle your own. “Put your fingers like— there you go. Look at that, you’re a pro already.”

He tries to bite back a smile at the look you give him. He fails.

“Alright, now…” he trails off, shifting impossibly closer until he’s flush with the right side of your body. “Try not to be so scared, alright? Sweetheart can sense fear, so just… Act natural.”

You exhale a wavering breath. When Eddie feels you relax against him, he tells you, “Now strum again…”

You twist your wrist and bring your fingers down in a motion that feels more natural this time. The sound that fills the bedroom, then, is much more pleasant than the one that came before it.

“At this rate, you’ll be better than me within the year,” Eddie muses.

You squint and try not to smile. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m serious!” he argues, laughing despite himself. “You’re a fast learner! With some proper lessons, you could do my Master of Puppets solo in no time— with your eyes closed.”

“Lessons?” you echo, brows pinched.

“Yeah,” Eddie shrugs and tries to play it cool. “I mean… You might have to come over from time to time. You know, so I can show you the ropes and everything, but… After a few months together, I’m sure you’ll be a total professional.”

You know exactly what he’s playing at. The notion makes your heart thrum hard against your ribcage.

“Well, what about after a few months?” you tease with a quiet smile. “What then?”

Eddie’s eyes flit to the ceiling for a moment as he ponders the question. “I don’t know… You keep coming around, I guess? And I make you the best damn guitarist this side of Indiana’s ever seen?”

A beam blossoms on your lips despite your attempts to keep it hidden. “Then I guess I’ll stick around.”

“Good,” Eddie grins.

“Good,” you parrot.

It takes you a second too long to realize he’s leaning in to kiss you. By the time you notice, his eyes are already fluttering shut and the tip of his nose is nearing yours. Your eyes widen. Your breath catches. You lick your lips in anticipation. 

You forget yourself too quickly, though, and your hand falls lazily against the strings of the guitar in your lap. You can feel the funny, distorted sound in your chest. Your heart lurches at the sudden noise, and you flinch back from the boy in front of you.

You sigh a second later, mourning the missed moment. 

Eddie chuckles to himself, cheeks flushed. “Told ya she could sense fear.”