#Tagging for me to be able to find for myself later
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Absolute rambling about pieces of information we have regarding types of magic. Stream of consciousness.
-Lyrium is titan blood.
Lyrium can enhance spellpower but will hurt you if you touch it, kill you as a mage. It's not for "real" people. Titans seem to be realms in themselves, literally. Their heart chamber resembles the crossroads, which in turn probably resembles the world before the veil. Titans once held up the sky, which was torn asunder by the creation of the veil. Titans were basically trapped in the real world when the veil went up. If the Evanuris are trapped in the fade, are the titans the Forgotten Ones trapped in the "beyond"? It's repeatedly stated they were antithetical to the Evanuris. If Harding's dwarf magic is the same as Solas' petrification magic, then he probably has access to whatever it is from a time before magic divulged (if it truly had).
Templars drink lyrium and gain what is generally hand-waved as totally-not-magic. But it's described as the opposite of magic. It dispells. It makes immutable once again. It pushes back against mages, and magic, and the fade.
If we didn't know better we might be able to assume that somehow titans are what upholds the veil, keeping the fade "over there". Perhaps the creation of the veil is one big spell Solas learned from the titans
-Blood magic makes it harder to enter the fade
Mortals, humans, are a result of being cut off from the fade. There may have been no blood magic before the veil. Doesn't really explain why it's taught by demons. I remain in the understanding that it's offering your energy for a demon to cast a spell for you. They live in the fade, they are masters of the manipulating forces of magic. If mages call on spirits and the fade for general casting, what would it be but blood to feed the spellcasting of a demon? I believe this makes the "difficulty" rather more of the inconvenience of the attention garnered by being a mage who will consort with demons, in demon-town.
Also worth noting it does directly use yours or an ally's health pool for casting, not mana.
-The Blight is its own form of magic
The Blight can infect blood and lyrium. Red lyrium is technically seen in the fade, but there is no known blight in the fade
Except
The black city. Once called the golden city. Once opened, the blight spread, seemingly straight to the real world. Archdemons sent directly underground to the realm of titans, to be fought by their legions of dwarves?
Highly worth noting, in relation to the black city, a small, isolated, perhaps quarantined location containing the blight
In inquisition you can have the draconologist learn that dragons can lock blight away in themselves in cysts, protecting their bodies from its influence. Unless of course, somehow, dragons are the source of the blight themselves. Flemeth, Solas, and Yavana stress the importance of dragons remaining in Thedas (Solas a bit backwards by criticizing Wardens killing archdemons). It is said that darkspawn are the ones infecting the old gods in the deep roads, but what if it's the opposite? It would have to be, if the old gods are the original darkspawn and are meant to be the originators of the blight.
But with the Evanuris locked away in the fade, perhaps the dragons of the deep roads are something that were more related to the Forgotten Ones.
I digress. In Last Flight it is explicitly stated that the magic used by the archdemon is so dark and corrupt it is hardly recognizable as magic.
Maybe again worth noting, dragons were hunted to near extinction about 90 years after the Fourth Blight. There is not another Blight for 400 years after the Fourth. Dragons return, ushering in the Dragon Age, about 300 years after their near extinction. Correlation does not equal causation, but Solas is defensive against Grey Wardens, and Flemeth raised Yavana to be a dragon breeder.
-The fade is the usual source of magic.
Ever changing, the realm of emotion and thought. If the fade is manipulated by will and belief, perhaps this is why tranquility manifests as (disputably) a lack of free will. (There are reports from tranquil explaining that they have something of a free will, but that being helpful generally seems like the prudent thing to be. They do have an interest in self-preservation still.) Spirits and demons embody emotion, and being cut off from the fade removes your emotion along with your magic.
Most magic regarding the fade seems to pull directly from it. As if you will something to be in the fade, and then pull it through, rather than actually manipulating the material world itself. This is explicitly stated to be the case for the "Rift Mage" specialization, a riff off of DA2s "Force Mage". The specialization taught to Bethany and others in the Kirkwall Circle, where the veil is notoriously thin, at a higher rate than other circles.
There are codexes on the four schools of magic
-Spirit draws from the Fade, it is "opposite" of primal
-Primal is obviously forces of nature. Things found in the material world.
The dichotomy we're used to. The Fade and the material world are opposite and cut off from one another. One immutable and the other ever-changing
-Creation is healing and enhancement (and summon bugs for some reason)
-Entropy is the opposite, causing death and decay, but from it new life
Enhancement sounds familiar to what we know of the effects of lyrium in general. (Retconned) "Templars can use their abilities without lyrium, it just won't be as effective". Improved spellcasting power. Mana pool recovery. Creation requires "finesse" and is "hardly mastered". Creation is also where we find healing magic, a concept that would be useless in a world of the fade, where you could essentially wish it better. You are no longer injured because you say so. No, healing only matters in a mortal body that needs flesh and bone to even be knit. Creation also grants us, among other glyphs (enchantments seared into the ground?) The glyph of neutralization: "The caster inscribes a glyph on the ground that neutralizes all magic, dispels all effects, drains all mana, and prevents spellcasting or mana regeneration within its bounds. "
Entropy is death. It is taking away. It is chaos. But the codex says these forces are necessary to bring new life. This tree has, explicitly, death magic, and the curse of mortality. We know ancient elves were immortal. We know Mythal was murdered. They *could* die, the introduction of the veil did not introduce the concept of death. But we are taught that in the fade, things will regenerate. The energy is not lost and will reconstitute itself, if without memory of what it was. Perhaps this is a way to heal. Solas' friend is shown to be a spirit again despite its having turned into a demon. If creation is repair, entropy can be removal of the damage.
And if we're removing damage, that is everything surrounding the blight. Dragon's occlusion. Warden's killing archdemons. The Blight itself destroying the land, and not in a way that seems to promote growth like a fire would. Perhaps the blight is all to make way for something currently incomprehensible. Perhaps the blight is a way of converting land to the black, barren terrain of the fade. Though this would set it up to be the counter to spirit magic, instead of creation. The lore of dragon age is full of grey areas, these dichotomies are not exempt I suppose.
And there we have, spirit - the fade, primal - blood, creation - lyrium, entropy - the blight
If not a perfect 1:1 "schools of magic" representation, there is high correlation, and no current known 5th form of magic source
Obviously you as a caster always use the fade, or blood. But archdemons and Corypheus can wield blight. You can drink blight to tap in to the blight network. Just as templars can drink lyrium to tap in to the, immutable network?
Also, lots of lyrium is used to make the Joining potion. Perhaps this is also less cleansing, and more pushing the blight magic "away".
If blight is running rampant, the veil is coming down, and the titans are waking up, perhaps this is also why blood magic isn't available in DA4. They mentioned your blood got, woven (?) into the veil itself, giving you certain powers. But I'm now also wondering if the awakening of the titans is generally pushing away the ability to use blood magic, since their domain is the material world. There's only been room for blood magic in their absence
There is still the matter of blight infecting lyrium and blood, lyrium enhancing the fade, the fade rejecting blood, blood and lyrium both being alive, blight seemingly being death itself, and the fade sealing away blight.
Rock paper scissors?
Oh man you know what else there's 4 of? Races. Humans and their blood, titans and their dwarves, elves have the fade (before the veil), and Qunari are related to dragons which are related to the blight.
I think they already confirmed Qunari warden as a possibility, but imagine finding out you won't have a calling because you can just cyst it away? Imagine the Hero of Ferelden also studying dragons and finding that, maybe Qunari can pull blight out of Wardens the way Isseya pulled it from the clutch of griffons? Maybe we can just pull it from Wardens and put it in dragons directly. We have options
Are Qunari a Ghilan'nain experiment to protect people from the blight?
#Da4 spoilers#Dragon age#Schools of magic#Titans#Lyrium#Blood magic#The Blight#Tagging for me to be able to find for myself later#Lots and lots of assumptions#I've connected the two dots#I think I must have written for an hour straight#On my phone no less#Qunari#Dragons#Writeup#Add another half hour from when I said it had been an hour
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” ��nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter
#tags are filled with worried rambling again#i hear a laugh track play whenever my anxiety flares up#im scared of what other people think of me which in itself is funny#ik others opinions of me arent an indicator of me being a bad person#other people arent gonna kno my whole personality from the stuff i draw#i fear judgement despite experiencing nothing but positive feedback on this site because i keep reading into the small things as negative#i know all this and still wither away in my shell knowing all this im saying is what id tell others if they were suffering with it#i walk in this circle and do it thousand times til i pass out from the exhaustion and later wonder y i was worried in the first place#i want to be able to say “who cares they dont know you” but ive been raised by people who spent almost every conversation-#with me basically saying they know me very well and know whats wrong with me and ive been raised believing everyone knows more than me#i worry of being so serious and actually genuine like this but this is how i like to be sometimes#stupidly thinking too much into things and laughing at myself for it and wondering why i would put myself down on something id encourage-#others to do#i worry about losing people because they wont like all of me but they wont know that unless they see the whole picture#i find myself disgusting w/ my thoughts and the things i wanna create but i dont think that of others and its strange#weird ass moment here.....#i had a really good day today got a job and finished my first tattoo#im happy right now despite the shit i just spewed#im figuring myself out for the first time in maybe years#i just wish all the hateful shit i absorbed over those years fades away soon#and i hope i stop caring so bad lol#anywayyyyy have a wonderful rest of your weekkk <3 if u read this
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
I wanted to touch on Day with the Sun in a manner that's EVEN REMOTELY TIMELY so I don't end up piling too much on when talking about your fics [both in terms of how much I'd have to write and how much you'd have to read]. SO! Sorry if this sucks and is inarticulate… exhausted from crunch AND my keyboard is busted… but I will power through because this haaas to be one of my favorite fics of yours and I Cannot Contain Myself. Also I feel bad for egging you on to post it but not actually saying anything yet so☠️
I've said bits and pieces of this before but I adore your fics because I can visualize them with incredible clarity. Like not even kidding, Top Ten Hallucinogens, you've got everyone's mannerisms and "voices" down perfect and you always have just enough detail to be able to See The Vision without the story having to grind to a halt. I really like the way attention is only brought to certain details with purpose, when they're relevant; that adds a lot to what I'm about to talk about.
I think your writing style really shines in works like this, where it's sort of like a Particularly Involved Substory, or a lighthearted "cooldown chapter"--just like, those parts that are all in-engine and mostly unvoiced but have SO much heart and characterization. I can See the camera moves and transitions, and I can Hear the music and sound cues. But at the same time, you take full advantage of the medium in being able to get into Arakawa's head, see what he sees and does or doesn't take note of and the conclusions he comes to, and get into what their day-to-day might be like and the ways this trip is both reflective of and breaks from the usual for them.
It's just SO well-done! The fic as a whole is a delight from start to finish--there's so much to chew on in every moment, every interaction, and the fact you've managed to pack it all into such a short story while maintaining the perfect pacing throughout is nothing short of commendable. Giggling And Kicking My Feet The Whole Time For Real and I MAINTAIN I was right to be excited… I'm so happy to have had the opportunity to read it [three times now]!
Arakawa's soooo moe To Me and reading from his perspective always makes me ill because his worries and concerns and shortcomings are so human, but he's doing his best to make his family happy, and they ultimately do end up having a nice day because of his initiative… Jo is SO cute in this too, I rewatched Hero SP after completing the show recently and he really has that Tsugaru-like Neurodivergent Awkwardness. Last But Not Least I loved Masato, I was his age the majority of the last couple of times I remember going to the beach… he's just like me fr…
No But I always really enjoy this Era of Masato, because in the singular flashback we get, he seems just a little bit more tolerant of Arakawa. It's nice to see him before [I feel like] he stops addressing him as "Dad" to his face, only saying it to specify who he means when he's talking to other people--that's kind of how I am with my mom now.
At the same time, it's of course a little bittersweet. One nice day isn't going to change the course of their futures, and it's painful to see Arakawa have these high hopes for his son that don't come to fruition in the way he envisions, or to think about how Jo's the only one around to remember moments like these now…
At any rate, closing out with some notes that came to mind as I was reading:
LOVE the premise being based in Masato being more open with Jo--I was definitely hoping Arakawa'd have some thoughts on that and I was happy to see he did, and to see echoes of it in things like Masato choosing to lean more heavily on Jo and Arakawa musing on Masato's "preferential treatment" of Jo.
It's also really sweet to see how Jo's earned it; he really spares no effort when it comes to Masato and it shows in big and small ways, like how he seems more synced with Masato when he wants to be put down while Arakawa's lost in thought. At the same time, even though he's grossly overprepared and clearly didn't pack for just himself though he initially wanted to set up away from the Arakawas, he only really has the courage to do any of what he did because of Arakawa strongarming him into actually involving himself and letting himself have a good time. The synergy with those three is unreal
Love literally every single time Arakawa tries to understand Jo… that longing for a greater depth of knowledge when he already knows him well enough to read his thoughts from what he wrote in the pamphlet… the way he notes and responds to Jo's anxiety and propriety, the way he goes and investigates the book, the Painfully Awkward But Real conversation they try to have about art and theater and how he /wants/ to share but they're not quite communicating, the way he doesn't know to connect things like Jo's knowledge of construction and his inexperience with normalcy to his past but has this gut feeling… the way he's right about how he'll never fully know him…
I wanted to note this separately because of The Subject Matter ☠️but although this quote comes from a CSA checklist, it is applicable to others with abusive backgrounds [I mean… I do HC Jo as a CSA survivor and it is close to my heart given he ticks a lot of said boxes either way, but that's a topic for a much different ask… If Ever, it never felt like an appropriate topic to write in about], and it seems relevant to what's going on with Jo in this fic: "31. Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ('ice=thin')." Obviously He Has Other Reasons but I feel like that's what Arakawa's picking up on at certain points. That's why I was really happy Arakawa got to spot and capture those Rare Jo Moments where he's happy and at peace… it's something that works whether you read the fic as platonic or romantic, but it's interesting to view through both lenses
VERY MUCH NOTICED THE BOOK HAS A BROWN COVER BTW I'm Literally Delusional but I was obviously reminded of the book that keeps popping up in your comics, the tattoo one and the AraSawa Domestic Moments Cringe [For Masato] Compilation… perhaps not the same one but I wouldn't be surprised if it took years to finish either given he hardly got to read it before being pulled away… he's INSANE for describing that as Light Reading [I can't even read my own art history books, I just look at the pictures] but I respect it… I also respect you both actually using bookmarks instead of just Praying I Turn To The Page I Left Off On like I do…
Dadliest FUCKING moments from Arakawa in this one I swear to goddddd I talked about his attempts to understand Jo but his attempts to understand Masato when Masato refuses to get what's on his mind across at every turn are so real… also spooking Masato like that… showing up with only his wallet and practically nothing else but being fully prepared to spoil Masato… wanting to put Masato's sunscreen on for him… not "acting his age"… the SKIPPINGGGGG… the expectation of a soon-to-be-empty nesty making him squish Masato for reasons Masato cannot discern [not to mention The Symbolism of the sunset imagery as the backdrop for this in particular although it should be a beautiful moment]… his FUCKING FIT [JO'S FIT TOO BUT HIS FITTT] GOD I'M LITERALLY JUST LISTING THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE FIC AT THIS POINT BUT HE MADE ME SO ILL
I could hardly say any of the above without thinking of Jo though… I mean… Second Parent is so true… A Dad Of Another Variety... Deeply appreciate him getting to be part of the family… speaking of parents I ALSO deeply appreciate the Akane mention…
I'm just. Obsessed with the entire finale and everything leading up to it [AS IF I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH EVERY OTHER THING] but I should let you go at some point so I'm stopping here <3
OH AND I would absoluuutely love to read [Or View] anything else you might have in mind with regard to Ikumi! Loved your art :] We don't have anything concrete to go off of At All as of now, so I don't think anyone could blame you if you wanted to explore one idea one day and a different one the next. I don't think about her often because I'm not creative enough to know where to take things [and I certainly wouldn't know how to make it Not Miserable], so I'd be very curious to see :]
Would also love to hear your thoughts on We Make Antiques 2 and The Deer King :] if you have the time/If They're Still Knocking Around ☠️
[EVERY THOUGHT I GOT DOWN BELOW]
i think its Physically Impossible for you to write anything Lame nor Inarticulate dont WORRYYY best wishes to you and your keyboard regardless tho 🙏 more over i'd be THRILLED to read a novel's worth of your commentary on any of my works- but i also know typing a lot is. Tiring LMAO SO i'm utterly grateful for anythin you send in (;´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ) i also never mind how long it might take for you to send something in: i know you always put a lot of time and effort into your asks, and all of that time is well worth the wait since they always end up being my favorite things to read (❁´◡`❁)
moving on tho, ABSOLUTELY makes me happy to hear my descriptions are good ! i always worry about doing too much or too little, so im glad it's Just Write in terms of highlighting what's important while not lingering too long on unimportant things or going too fast ♪(´▽`) reading the fic three times… thems Deer King numbers WHAT AN HONOR TYSM FOR ENJOYING AND READING (^人^)
im glad this story can feel 'substory' esque. when it comes to my comics, i generally try to give them that 'side content' kind of feel: just something nice to cut away to away from the 'main action' of the canon story, so im glad that can be reflective in a fic like this (and probably makes sense as to why this is my 'strongest' fic) (╯▽╰ ) ive mentioned it during a stream before (and probably in my tags too), but i do try to 'direct' my art and treat things like a movie set. i try to keep that same kind of mentality when writing, so i'm happy to hear it was effective :]
being able to write from arakawa's perspective is a fun experience to say the least. i really Do Not Hide It when i say that i borrow a lot from my life and the people in my life whenever i draw or write something, and i've made it noooo secret my dad is a big inspo for the things i make, ESPECIALLY when it comes to family. with all of that said, an aspect of arakawa i wanted to try to explore lately was his struggle of maintaining a happy family despite his circumstances. it wasn't a MAJOR focal point of this fic I Dont Think, but definitely was something i had in the back of my mind and is generally something i keep in the back of my mind when trying to portray arakawa
all of that said, i'll try not to be SUPER personal (as i do that anyway LMAO) but i'll confess that writing arakawa is 'special' to me. i can't exactly put a word to it, so 'special' will have to do. when i was growing up, in some sense, i was upset with my dad for things he ultimately had no control over. despite the time that's passed though, he's always tried his best for my siblings and i (and even my mom before this year when An Incident occurred and finally woke up him up to how terrible she is LMAO). he told me once that he wanted nothing more than a happy family, and that he never wanted his kids to feel alone or abandoned. that's a sentiment i can very easily imagine arakawa having not just towards masato, but towards the rest of the arakawa family as well due to his own upbringing; that sort of care extends to jo too Evidently. whether it's romantic or platonic, i do want to communicate that arakawa does try to get close to jo not just cause It's Expected for him to care about someone in the clan, but because he can identify the signs of an uncomfortable upbringing in jo, and doesn't want anyone else to have to shoulder that loneliness by themselves like he did. yk: have a more personal reason to as opposed to it being a part of his job. and lbr: jo can't brood ALL the time, there's GOTTA be a single second he actually does seem happy for once (and those very rare momence, me thinks, are very much all the waiting for arakawa)
with all of THAT said, being able to explore these thoughts and scenarios with arakawa is a way for me to better understand and appreciate my dad and what he had to go through i guess- sort of like an apology for how much i tended to doubt him even though i knew he wanted nothing more than to be there for us, so i'm def happy exploring that for myself has been able to become a good read (❁´◡`❁)
onto jo tho…. i love portraying jo in these domestic settings somuch (evidently). bro really is just so out of his element, ESPECIALLY when he's trying to appear Tolerable (in his eyes: arakawa will ALWAYS love him) it's just such a hilarious contrast to how we know him (a cunt) ☠️ as i was writing this fic i just kept thinking to myself that- in an ironic sense- jo would absolutely be a beach/airport dad given the circumstances (just pack unnecessarily, be overly vigilant to make sure things go accordingly, etc etc) and it's what really made writing everything so fun when i got to sit and imagine it and share it ( ̄︶ ̄)
that fun bit aside, i do also enjoy writing jo in these types of scenarios in a similar vein to why i like writing arakawa: it's a bit personal. i'd rather equate my upbringing to negligence opposed to outright abuse like jo experienced, but i can't imagine how my thoughts manifest to be too different from jo's in certain scenarios. especially when it comes to his hesitance towards happiness or believing he isn't deserving of that happiness (or anything good really), it's a very personal feeling i get a lot, and in particular his need to not want to intrude or take up space (doubly considering it may seem as tho he's trying to 'steal' masato even though he gave him away in the first place). it's pretty easy to write with that respect (and is probably why i tend to drift to portraying his pov's LMAO), and trying to capture that feeling of anxiety or worry or apprehension but still keep it in tune with jo's 'stonewall-esque' character is definitely cathartic in a sense. it's also interesting to do when i have him next to other characters, and ESPECIALLY when im writing from a perspective that isn't his own. it's important i don't make him appear too outwardly anxious or 'small,' but i also want to make sure it's clear he does feel those things in that moment: i want that fact to be sort of a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of deal.
all of THAT said though, i AM very interested to hear more about your thoughts on him as a CSA survivor (and me wonders if that is what you were referring to when adding to his backstory some asks ago)... VERY fair if you'd rather keep that discussion elsewhere though: it is a very sensitive topic
onto masato though, i enjoy portraying masato a lot pre-ichi times. i guess it's just a nice phase to touch on before Everything Spirals, so to speak: he still has some of that anger from his childhood, though he can't express it the same way anymore. he has to be a bit more mature about it- but he is still a teenager. plus, since he's still a teenager, he still predominantly relies on jo and arakawa, and Of Course i have the most fun when i get to portray any combo of that trio interacting with each other (and it shows lmao).
on that note though, i do enjoy thinking a lot about the supposed relationship jo and masato mustve had while he was growing up. as it shows, jo turned out to be 'masatos favorite' (however much that means all things considered). there surely must have been some seeds planted for that to have been the outcome later on, so it's fun thinking about how those things can manifest, and it's especially fun getting to pen arakawa's perspective on it
AND OF COURSE THE BOOK WAS INTENTIONAL LMAOOOO yk what they say One's An Incident Two's A Coincidence Three's On Purpose You Asshole ☠️☠️ the first two times were truly accidents but at this point it doesn't hurt to have a 'running joke' or something like that in my comics/fics. we'll get him a new book someday i promise ♪(´▽`)
as for me though, i cant trust to open on the same page i left off on.. plus i really like collecting bookmarks, especially when they're of butterflies: it gives me a reason to look them up and learn something since the designs are always pretty enough for me to wonder what species they're based on (❁´◡`❁)
ALL IN ALL THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ENJOYING !!!!!!!! truly commentary like this gives me reasonsto keep writing its SUCH a huge motivator i cant stress it.. all the pain is worth it when i can see how much you enjoyed the fic.. i hope to always make you feel that excited to read something from myself ╰(°▽°)╯ !!
with THAT in mind tho… i certainly do feel the motivation to pen at least ONE ikumi story now.. when that's finished is TBD but for now i hope you enjoy this Kinda Old scribble of a Little Older ikumi i did (or at least one variant of an older ikumi) <- drew it so i could hallucinate better
im not good at fashion and i was really trying to figure out a look for her that still REMINDED people of ikumi but yk. was appropriate for a 30-something-year-old woman in the 90's.... but i have plenty of time to explore other looks so i wont worry (i do really like this hair cut tho.. maybe that'll be a constant)..
AND OF COURSE i'd be happy to write two quick lil reviews for those movies: i LOVED them after all (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
for WMA2, my favorite bits of these movies is always The Plan Coming Together- yk the last like. thirty or so minutes LMAO BUT FR ill never get over watching everyone work together to con people (plus the turtleneck really is A Look for nakai.. BIG fan- also them goofy ass magnetic glasses.. what even are those i love them). had me GOBSMACKED when it was revealed shino wasnt even a real mom but also Not Surprising in retrospect but ALSO Whose Kid Is This. Where Are Your Parents.
i do love how the movie started with the idea that sasuke Wasnt going to do any more con jobs and was going to be living honestly, yet In An Ironic Twist to ensure japan wouldnt have a Counterfeit Antique problem he ended up having to make so many fakes… a necessary evil me thinks… more importantly i really will never get over yo-chan fucking licking everything like ENOUGH. STOP. but dont it still makes me laugh fuckin weird ass old man (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)♡ it did make me happy to see sasuke's son get a job he really loves tho… that was cute.. AND WHEN HE TRIED THE POTTERY WHEEL That Was Cute :) anyways.. all in all lovely movie Of Course I'd Love It… one day i hope we can find the third movie….
AS FOR DEER KINNGGG ABSOLUTELY LOVELY MOVIE you were right the animation was GORGEOUS and PERFECTLY weighted. i ESPECIALLY loved the scene with the stilt walkers not just atmosphere wise, but the actual weight and heft of the stilts was just so… Immaculate. AND LEST I NEGLECT TO MENTION YUNA'S THE CUTEST LITTLE GIRL EVER i love her so so so much she's so adorable her cheeks are plump like a peach's her pigtails are adorable and i love her tooth gap (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ) van and yuna getting to hang with the villagers was MAD sweet tho… had me deceased at the end when the cure of Mad Wolf Disease was just deer milk tho. NOT A HATER was just a hilariosuly simple solution considering The Horrors caused by the mittsual (i knew i wasnt a sicko for drinking milk...)
As If I Need To Say It Anymore very lovely movies….. thank you much both for going through the effort to find WMA2 and for reccin The Deer King…
#long post#fave#MEGA FAVE. INSPO FAVE EVEN#will certainly read this whenever i doubt myself Thank You So Much.. will def never accuse you of callin my stuff mid again..#a tag i wont even be able to find later....#snap chats#snap sketches#ikumi#I PROB LEFT SOME STUFF OUT BUT YEAYEAYAYA TYTYTYT FOR READING AND ENJOYING AND SUPPORTING MY STUFF !!!!#as some Final Comments... absolutely blame my dad for arakawa being Extra Silly in this fic (and in most of my portrayals tbh)#my dad's the silliest guy i know and he def loved spooking me when i was growing up and being Annoyingly Silly#like he'd love pinching my cheek or trying to tickle me and its like Dad Stop I'm 15 I'm A Grown Up <- thats literally baby age shut up#def try to channel that energy when portraying masato and arakawa together..#just as an Extra Tidbit since i meant to put this in my initial fic link's tags: i origianlly wanted to feature a beach wheelchair#but after triple checking the first beach-accessible wheelchair wasnt patented until 1997#one was MADE in 1994 but p much exclusively for the inventor's wife#and by the time it'd be 1997 masato would've been 19/20 and that's out of the age range i wanted to write for#onward tho... i still am curious as to what you have to say about my other fics tho...#you HAVE left some thoughts on them I DO KNOW THAT#BUT i'm still curious as to what The Bigger Review is.. if it's anything like this review yk- NO PRESSURE OF COURSE NO RUSH#its only natural i be a lil curious tho (╯x╰ ) forgive me (╯▽╰ )#and especially forgive me if i post another fic soon and prompt you to want to write more commentary (╯▽╰ ;;)#even if you dont tho just gettin the simple notice that you did read and enjoy is plenty enough for me (❁´◡`❁)#but i absolutely do enjoy a review like this WAAH still not over it its so thoughtful#i had as much fun and felt as much joy readin this ask as you might have readin my fic LMAOOOO#i was out walking when i saw the notif and i couldnt go home yet so i just kept rereading this ask and bein happy...#so again thank you... i hope to continue making good things in the future (❁´◡`❁)#it is MOST LATE rn tho.. i should sleep... i do have work i still have to do uh oh ☠️#i feel like i left a lot of commentary out but my brain works.. Never... i think i said A Lot As Is tho so we'll leave it at that#SO I LEAVE YOU WITH ANOTHER THANK YOU🙏
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m like if bottling up emotions cause they’re confusing made someone energetic and hyperactive and think they can save the world and need to hurry before the grief consumes them
#what came first the chicken or the egg? was bottling up the emotion trying to hide experiencing mixed hypomania or did it cause it?#personal mental health tag#see the weird thing is I’m wondering if stability for me is just. constant but less severe mixed episodes? like less amplitude on the wave#while I have times of higher and lower energy they like. sync with other natural cycles? slow enough to process all the emotions. fast#enough that I have the ability to be able to spend some of my energy on that. just sounds like cyclothymia again tbh#I just want to be strong enough to face the emptiness. and keep going. without meaning I hold it off just so it destroys me further later#find out a bit more about myself so I can find the kind of things that fill me. motivate me in a calm way. turn on adhd interest superpower#incorporate negative feedback loops into my lifestyle so that I can’t go too far#questioning borderpolar adhd pdaer culture is I guess. try saying that out loud idk man. just trying to survive#but there’s something to be said about having labels. about how much more self aware I was than the teen who didn’t think I had any mental#illnesses bc I didn’t struggle with the things I had words for that my friends did. but I was also struggling quite a lot and thought it wa#normal. bc that was my baseline yk? so maybe the chicken and the egg were both inevitable. maybe they both always were
0 notes
Text
It's just a fact that nothing I do matters or has any impact
I can prove it, and I do mean that
I wouldn't want to because I think it would bother people, but I have... endless proof
#functionally I don't exist#I exist only in the sense of a vague technicality in that I'm physically present and all the think therefore kind of trash#but I have zero impact or interaction with the world#it's not that unlikely that I'm a hallucination haunting a keyboard#a figment of my own imagination#...the only sad part is if that was true at least I could just stop dreaming myself alive#instead of having to take more concrete and failure prone measures#but I genuinely do not and never have existed#and I really can prove it a thousand times over#but... I think it would be upsetting to have it all laid out; so I never will lay out the proof#besides; even if I said every last thing that would just sink into the void too#... I could say a lot more but I won't#there's questions I'd love an answer to but... but there's reasons I can't ask them including I already have and never got a response#...shame I won't even have anything to drink on my birthday I don't think#...if only I could dissect myself and place myself in neat little piles for medical folks to use as parts#if only if only if only#what I wouldn't give for a crumb#mm tag so i can find things later#or less kindly; what I wouldn't give to be able to breath these feelings down the world's throat#see how you like it when lockdowns are enough to make you squeamish#just bitter on that one cause everyone talked big about how sad it made them... but not a shred of anything given my way#when that's just a normal day everyday forever for me#I literally forgot about lockdowns being a thing on a regular basis#my life then and life now are the same except I don't have to drive to the trailer to clean; just have to go to the storage room#so that's nice at least#but I see the exact same amount of people every day as I did then#you could make some money killing me you know; and I'd film a clip making it clear it's all my idea#only problem is I'd have to trust you with people I like despite you being willing to kill... but maybe I would if you get it's a mercy#eh... I can't even say what I really think... I should go to bed#and I can't even talk about the stuff that got me thinking on this
1 note
·
View note
Text
Ghost x Soap's roomie
Ghosts and Gaz stay the week and Soap's apartment. Ghost falls head over heels for you and can't seem to think of anything else.
its just two idiots in love at this point and also Soap and Gaz are there too lmao. I have more for this concept on my page or under the tag if you like it💪
Dinner was finished quicker than Simon would have preferred considering he still couldn't get the image of your sly smile out of his head, not to mention the piece of food he was sure was stuck in his throat from the laughing fit you had sent him and Gaz into with your well timed nut-tap. You were intoxicating to him, it was almost insufferable how unable he was to get your voice, your face, your figure, everything, out of his head. He could swear that he's never felt this way before about anyone, ever. It was like the moment he set eyes on you, his mind had made itself up and all he could do was let himself fall even further and further in love with you.
So he now watched as you forced a very upset Soap to do the dishes, not without great effort.
"aw 'bon why tha' hell do I have'ta do this shite it's fuckin feechie" he whined
"'cause I do the cooking, that's the deal we have" you bit back "plus, I've cleaned our bathroom before" you turned to face both Simon and Kyle, Simon couldn't help but notice he was the one you locked eyes with "you wanna see nasty, use the shower when he's finished" you sighed
"oye! Not fair" Johnny warned, an accusing finger pointed towards you "you shed more than a hound when 'ure in there, ya clog the damn drain"
"excuse me! I clean up after myself at least, any hair you find in there is yours!" you yelled back, clearly embarrassed
"nae, ma' hair ain't long with split ends, er' whateva' the hell 'ure always moanin' 'bout in there"
you had half a mind to hit him across the face for that, "I don't know, hairs getting a little long there princess" you teased, gesturing to his grown out mohawk "need to get it trimmed? or you worried they might leave you looking bald again like last time?" you grinned
"awe no way!" Gaz grinned "you got pictures?" he ran over to you. Simon was curious too but didn't make a show of it, settling to sit back with his arms crossed instead, surveying the chaos.
"sure do" you beamed, ready to pull out your phone
"Naw naw!" Johnny scrambled to intercept his friend "nae happenin'"
you flung the phone behind you, out of his reach "then wash the fucking dishes man" you scoffed, shoving the sponge into his chest "thought they called you Soap for a reason?"
"feckin whatever" Johnny groaned, returning to the sink and flicking the tap on
you beamed and turned to head towards your room, calling out your dibs on the shower. Not before holding your phone up to Kyle and Simon, mouthing an 'I'll show you later' before slipping out of view.
"cheeky little mother fucker..." Soap mumbled, the half smile on his face turning into a look of disgust as he touched some wet food.
"so...." Gaz started after a moment "Never did decide where we 'going to be sleepin' mate?"
"well 've only got two beds" Johnny said, back turned to his friends "an' mine can only fit one a you's plus ma'self" he continued "an' like -ell I'm not going to sleepin on 'ma own bed while 'm home , so one ya will have-tae take the couch" he paused "unless the other one wants to bunk up with 'er" he laughed
Simon froze simply at the idea, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable in his slacks at the thought of being right up next to you while you rested. If you were closer would be be able to put his hands of you? trace the contours of your waist with his finger tips, burry his nose in the back of your head and wrap his hulking arms around your smaller figure? Feel the curve of your ass as you pressed against-
he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles turned white, "I'll take the couch" he huffed "'ure smaller anyway" he gestured to Kyle
"Whateva' mate" Gaz rolled his eyes, taking his friends jab in stride.
You had claimed dibs of the shower first because you were well aware that three, probably filthy, men (all of which had to be over 6 feet) were bound to need to use it as well and it would be pointless to try and wash your hair after that disaster.
"I'm done!" you called absentmindedly from the hallway, a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair sticking to your neck and back. Simon had found a very interesting part of the ceiling to focus on while you went back to your room, "try to not blow the thing up, I've got a down payment on this thing" you said, closing the door behind you.
silence fell over the room once again, as all three men glanced between themselves. Gaz was first, he took off at a run towards the bathroom door, determined to be second. Soap started off not more then a moment after him,
"aye ya prick, it's my house this?!" he grabbed for Gaz who held on steady to the door
"exactly mate! we're the guests!" Kyle chided "so be a good host 'an bugger off!"
"Nae 'm not lettin' you's skimp me outta a hot shower" Soap yelled attempting to pull Gaz back, but the man had such a a tight hold on the door he might've pulled out the hinges first.
you reopened the door after hearing the chaos, still in only a towel "the hell is-?" you were cut off almost immediately by ghost stepping in, he grabbed them both by the back collars of their shirts with what seemed like minimal effort, and pulled them off each other.
"Gaz you go first," he growled "Johnny, at least finish drying the bloody dishes before you go runnin' off" he shoved your roommate back into the kitchen
"Lt.! 's no fair he's goin' first! Why do you get to decide?" Soap griped
"on base 'er not, 'm still in charge." Simon said plainly, narrowing his eyes towards his friend, "just be lucky I'm the one yellin' at you for tusslin' around inside"
"In 'ma own home!" Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as Gaz pumped his fist before closing the bathroom door.
for a moment, your eyes met Simon's as you peaked from behind your door and they lingered there. His gaze was so was piercing as he glared from above his mask, that he had (unfortunately) put back in after dinner. His eyes only remained that way for a moment however, for as soon as they met yours, they softened. The harsh lines fell away instantly and his pupils began to dilate when they met yours, not aware you had been watching the whole ordeal.
'why did his eyes have to be so pretty?'
He coughed quickly, tearing his gaze from you before returning to the kitchen himself. Leaving you awe struck, fanning your face behind the closed door of your room.
When it was finally time for him to take a shower, Simon allowed himself a moment of respite in the bathroom before actually cleaning himself off. Away from Johnny's teasing glances and their incessant banter that he hated to admit he had come to be too fond of to reprimand them for, and they knew that all to well. Above all else though, it was a moment to internally process seeing you in nothing but a towel because when he had tried to think it over out there, the evidence of that was all too noticeable. You had looked so fucking good, wet hair, glossy skin, that towel that did absolutely nothing to cover up the swell of your tits as you pressed it to your chest. Even the simple fact that your cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower sent his whole body into overdrive.
'shit- right, the shower.'
He broke from his thoughts to finally enter the shower but that did nothing to aid him in his situation. On the ledge was your shampoo and various other soaps, much like how your side of the sink was covered in various products and bottles he couldn't name even if he tried. Johnny's side had a toothbrush that was joined by Gaz's wash bag, and that was it. In the shower however, he only saw what were clearly your products. He grumbled and opened the door just a crack,
"Either 'a you got any shower gel?" He yelled through the crack, rather embarrassed at his current situation, "lef' mine at base."
"jus' use 'er's!" Johnny called back from his spot on the couch "'s what I do anyway..."
"You what?!" you yelled from across the flat
"dumbass" Kyle scoffed
"kidding, kidding!" Johnny laughed "Mines the one with the green lid mate, ya don' see it?"
"Fuckin hell...neva'mind!" Ghost responded, closing the door again. He swore he wasn't seeing straight. It didn't help that the whole bathroom already smelt like you, your intoxicating scent invading every breath he took. But to use your products? That was some shit couples do, and he had to stop his mind from getting away from him with that fantasy.
Stepping into the shower once more he located Johnny's soap. Spring rain?, no fucking wonder he hadn't noticed it, who would've thought Soap would use something like this? He quickly washed himself and got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he exited the bathroom.
You stood in the kitchen, a large sweatshirt dwarfed your frame. You seemed to be waiting for the kettle of the stove to heat up as you noticed his presence.
"oh I can take that" you smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand to take his towel from him.
He very reluctantly gave it to you, worried it would smell bad or have something gross on it he hadn't even realized. "was just about to start another lode anyway" you chimed, opening up the closet door and throwing it in the machine before starting it.
Simon couldn't help himself "Colors I'm assuming?" he joked
you whipped around to face him "Now don't you start" you scolded, but the smile and deep red of your cheeks was unmistakable, "Johnny's enough to deal with on his own" you headed back to your kettle
"'m sorry, I'll try to be less of a pain in the arse to ya than he is" Simon chuckled
"that's a low bar" you laughed dully "but thank you"
Simon found conversation to flow freely with you, like it does with the rest of his team but only after he had gotten close to them. He had only known you for a day but still found it so natural to speak to you (if he ignored the deafening sound of his heartbeat and the massive lump in his throat).
"want any tea?" your offer broke the silence as you grinned and held up the now boiling kettle.
"uh- sure" he nodded, was his heart getting louder?
you tossed open one of the cupboards "pick your poison" you chirped, gesturing the stocked shelf of teas.
he rounded the island to inspect the selection, peering over you in such a way that his form eclipsed yours and forced you to move back against the counter top. You held your breath.
"'ere" he handed a small tin containing a non-caffeinated herbal blend down to you and stepped away "is it any good?" he asked, pointing lazily at the tin that you now held.
you tried to shrug your flustered feelings away "Better be, 's what I'm having" you turned to grab him a mug from the shelf.
Simon smiled to himself at the knowledge he picked the same type of tea as you purely by coincidence. Moments later you were handing it to him, "here ya go Ghost" you said placing the hot mug in front of him
"Simon." he responded plainly
"Hm?" you tilted your head a bit
"Simon's fine, ya don't need to be calling me that 'Ghost' shit 'ere" he was staring holes into the kitchen island, wondering if it was weird for him to be asking you to call him by his given name.
"Alright, Simon it is then" you beamed, not missing a beat
christ his name sounded so good when you said it
"sorry guess it was just habit, seeing as thats what Johnny calls you whenever he's home"
"'s fine" he mumbled, a brief pause hung in the air as you both took your first sips of tea. You were right, it was good.
"where they at anyway?" Simon tried to fill the silence
"probably giggling under the covers by now" you scoffed "why? trying to get rid of me?" you joked
"'s not it" Simon answered quickly
"I know I know- I'm just teasing" you smirk "Johnny told me you were a bit quiet so don't feel pressured to talk 'er anything"
He appreciated the sentiment, but not talking to you was possibly the last thing he wanted to do right now. "What else does the little twat say?" Simon asked, a little gruffer than he intended to sound, but his reputation was on the line here.
"Oh just stories from all the dangerous stuff you all get up to, usually the ones where he can say he was the hero" you fully laughed and it sounded like music to Simon's ears "That and he complains about all the work he has to do, usually when he wants to get out of chores"
"sounds 'bout right" Simon smiled lightly and you could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
At least you didn't think he was some sulking, menacing, edge-lord. I mean he most certainly was most times but he would really prefer it if you didn't think of him like that. Now he just had one more thing to clear up.
"jus' so ya know... I- I didn't use your body wash" he practically had to shove the words out of his mouth he was so tense, but to his surprise you just laughed.
You smiled brightly and waved your hand dismissively, "Don't worry I didn't think you had, I don't blame you for not finding his soap though" you held your mug close to your chest and smiled fondly "He used to use that Head and Shoulder's stuff, you know the one? Anyway, it was nasty so I got him some better stuff and he actually likes it, even if he complains he smells 'like a chick' now" you put that last part in air quotes.
"fair", the soap Simon used on base was Head and Shoulder's. He made a mental note to throw it out and get better stuff the second he got back.
Conversation flowed freely for the next couple minutes as you both finished your drinks, you mostly asked about what it was like living on a military base and he asked about a bit about your graduate studies. Happy just to learn anything about you. When you set your empty mug down on the kitchen counter, he silently glided over with his own and took your mug in his other hand, filling them with water in the sink.
"you really don't have to do that, but thank you" you smiled softly, a yawn escaped you, feeling the tiredness begin to catch up with you.
"don't mind it" he dried his hands off with the kitchen towel. When he looked back at you his heart swelled. you were smiling lightly in the dimly lit kitchen, eyes squinting from even that being too much light. You swayed back and forth slowly, heading nodding slightly every couple of moments. He felt bad for keeping you up but more than that he wished he could just pick you up and whisk you off to bed, curling up next you you and letting you snuggle into his chest. But there was no way he could do something like that, not now anyway, so he settled for the next option
"you look like you're about to fall over love, off to bed now" he said, his voice quiet and gentle as patted you on the back and steered you towards your room.
"aye aye captain" you lazily saluted him and he couldn't help but smile "let me know if ya need anything" you called from the hall "night!"
"yeah g'night" he groaned, shoving himself onto the couch that was much too small for him. He would rather freeze than make you get up to get him another blanket or something. And even though he felt perfectly comfortable he couldn't seem to get to sleep, his heart was just too loud.
*I might make Price come over to give the boys something they left behind just so he can meet/flirt with reader and Simon and get all grumpy and jealous cuz it would be cute <3
Tags:
@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona
#ghost x soaps roomie#ghost x y/n#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x oc#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#ghost#simon riley x you#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#cod 141#cod x reader#cod mwii#soap cod#cod mw3#cod x you#tf141 smut#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#tf141 x you#tf 141 headcanons#poly tf141#johhny soap mactavish#soap call of duty#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick
923 notes
·
View notes
Text
crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe
#🌙.rambles#no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think#uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how#similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways#sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the#emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time.#i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before.#😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it)#there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but#noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!!#imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort#when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live#like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped#even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who#i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your#average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as#a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah#those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself#while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable?#that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt..#i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself#so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but#then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai#understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc.#which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work?#stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future#it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back#bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now#i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine.#there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late 🥹🫶🏼
1 note
·
View note
Note
I probably missed it, but what IS your favourite Dungeon Meshi ship?
WELL SINCE YOU ASKED, I have a chart already hdhshdh
1) Farcille is my number one!!! I wish I’ve drawn more of them, but most of my ideas for them are longggg and angsty and take a lot more mental bandwith. I’ve said before, I approach comics like I’m pitching an idea, and I mostly* agree with people’s depictions of them, so I have less to say.
*I say mostly because I cannot stand when people depict Falin as possessive, or disregard her characterization to give her generic dommy alpha monster traits hdhshdjs NOT THAT IT’S BAD it just doesn’t feel true to her character. I find myself bored by it.
I’m also put off by some of the folks I’ve seen in the farcille tags. They’re like,,, cliquey?? There was a point where people were dunking on mlm ships that came off borderline terfy, as if most of the dungeon meshi mlm shippers aren’t transmascs and lesbians?? I wasn’t a fan of the hostility like lmao it’s cartoons man
2) labru……… I love them….. mostly just post-canon. I really love Kabru (I think he’s my favorite character overall) and I loveeee the poetry of their individual character arcs and how well they play together. Guy who struggles to be honest, even with his own feelings vs Guy who doesn’t even consider being anything except honest. Kabru needing to carefully, painstakingly craft a mask tailored to each individual he interacts with, vs Laios, who is the only one to make all of Kabru’s masks fall apart. Also I think they’re kinda aro about it. They’re really good t4t flavored too.
The main appeal is post-canon. The King and his advisor. His right hand man. But it’s also the way like,,, Laios is DEFINITELY not the one in charge in their relationship dhshshsh (and this is what peeves me about how @myszkaa’s labru comic got memed to hell and back…. they don’t understand the later of comedy is from the KING asking for PRAISE from his SUBORDINATE!!!)
I will say!! This ship has a lot of folks with good takes on it, but it’s not immune to flanderization and boring yaoification. It’s popular enough that there’s enough of the good stuff.
3) chilshi!! I’ll admit this one has less canon validation hdhshsh but I think they have a lot of post-canon potential, and I think their difference in lifespans + the contrast in their lifestyle habits is really interesting and directly addresses a lot of the Dungeon Meshi’s core themes.
Part of the reason I like hanging out with chilshi shippers is cause most of em are chill, more nuanced in discussions, and are actually willing to draw fat & hairy people. And middle aged people.
special mention Kabumisu. I WISH I LIKED THIS ONE MORE!! I’ve tried,,,, I see the potential but I’m so picky about it and most of the content for it does absolutely nothing for me 🙈
Another thing is I HAVE to be able to like a pairing platonically to ship them romantically. Obviously shipping isn’t the only thing that matters to be about dungeon meshi.
I could say a lot more. Feel free to ask about my thoughts 👍
524 notes
·
View notes
Text
In Case I'm Mistaken
Chapter Five of I Can't Help Myself
Summary: Your first run-in with Spencer Reid since he left you so spectacularly is fraught with tension. Sexual and otherwise.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI pregnancy symptoms, morning sickness/ throwing up, fingering, rough sex, semi-public sex, penetrative sex, choking, slapping, creampie but she's pregnant already, mild case details, etc.
A/N: We're halfway through! I sincerely hope everyone enjoys how stupid and oblivious Spencer is being because I can't promise he'll wise up anytime soon lmao. If you're enjoying the series, let me know in the comments ♡
Masterlist || Add yourself to the tag list
When you left Spencer's apartment, you expected a call or a text or an email in the next three days. Penelope told you that's most likely when they'd wrap the case and when he'd be back at his apartment to see the stunt you had pulled.
You tried to force yourself back to work in the meantime, and it almost worked. Until you had to spend three hours a day crouched over a toilet bowl, emptying your stomach lining again and again. You had spent almost a full month like that before you realised you hadn't heard from him.
First, it was cases, then it was casework, and then it was cases again, but if probed, Spencer truly would have no idea you'd tried to get in contact with him at all. And it seemed he didn't care in the slightest.
He'd been home, but he hadn't been looking for anything out of place, so he hadn't seen anything out of place. Certainly not a bookshelf spelling out “CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS.” It was your choice to leave the cryptic message though, and you hadn't exactly left him any notes to say that you'd dropped by.
But finding out you were pregnant on a night you'd half-expected to throttle the man who'd impregnated you (verbally) and then having cried on his couch with one of his very close female friends? Yeah, you were confused and lost, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
With emotions and hormones running high, you couldn't even tell if Spencer was purposefully ignoring you or not.
The only saving grace in that month was your promotion.
It literally could not have come at a better time, and you'd enjoyed signing the papers greatly knowing you'd be blindsiding your boss with a pregnancy announcement in the next three months, should you be able to carry the baby successfully to that point.
You'd had your first check-up without a call from Spencer. You'd picked out your first baby outfit without a call from Spencer. You were pretty confident that you'd give birth to the goddamn baby without a call from Spencer.
Which is why when you found him in your office a month later, you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck and slowly choke the life out of him.
Between classes, you'd taken to running to the bathroom to hang your head in shame, not over morning sickness at all yet. You'd taken to keeping cereal bars and pregnancy safe snacks in your office in case you needed something else to help you power through the morning.
That morning was worse than others, with less than half your students in attendance and still two hours to waste standing up in front of a podium - department rules.
You'd thought you were going to expire in front of that toilet bowl, sending up your prayers as you checked your watch and realised you'd have a class again in an hour or two that you weren't fully prepped for.
So you slinked back to your office and tried to throw yourself onto the sofa, but unfortunately for you, a large man was blocking your way.
“Can I help you?” You eked out, voice weak but still able to convey all the annoyance you felt at the door.
“Sorry, sorry, this is your…?" The man said, smiling down at you. You had to give it to him, the man was good looking but you just waited for him to stand aside again.
“Do you mind?” You said, gesturing to the door you now knew the man was blocking. He wasn't letting you in for some reason, and you couldn't for the life of you figure out why. It was your goddamn office for christ's sake. Your snacks were inside.
“Sorry, following orders.”
“Right, and whose orders would those be Mr…”
“SSA Luke Alvez,” he said, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
You'd have introduced yourself politely under any other circumstances but in reaching out his hand and giving his title, you'd seen the flash of his FBI badge on his hip and knew exactly who was behind this.
“Son of a bitch,” you muttered, ducking under the man's arms and slamming the door to your office open to find Doctor Spencer Reid huddled over some files, two women flanking him on either side.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
The two women looked taken aback, straightening immediately as they looked between you and Spencer. He was slow to take his eyes off whatever it was they were working on, as if playing with you once again.
You really regretted keeping his desk around, seeing how comfortable he looked there, how normal it was for you to see him there.
“Doctor Y/N. Nice to see you again.”
“Nice to-?” You scoffed and slammed the door once more. “Yeah. Okay.”
One of the women quickly excused herself from the situation, almost as soon as she realised that once you'd finally locked eyes with Spencer, neither of you looked away.
“I'm sorry to intrude, my name is Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss, I'm the Unit Chief of the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. We really wouldn't be here if it weren't an emergency.”
You had to give it to the woman, but she caught on quickly and stepped between the two of you, breaking eye contact and forcing your attention onto her. You introduced yourself quickly.
“Doctor Y/N Y/L/N. I trudt that if you're here, something bad has happened.”
You noticed a flash of something as Emily shook your hand, hearing your name. It was subtle, and it was quick, but you saw her eyes flick to your stomach and then back up, and you froze.
She knew. Penelope hadn't exactly broken your trust - you never told her to keep a secret from anyone but Spencer - but you felt your guard go back up twofold.
“Emily, can I talk privately with Y/N for a moment?” Spencer asked, and you resisted the urge to cradle yourself, to cover whatever it was she may have seen in your appearance or the way you held yourself that became your tell.
You wanted to tell Spencer you were pregnant, sure, but you'd wanted to tell him a month ago. Now? Now you were pissed off.
The older woman quietly bowed out, reminding Spencer to reconvene with her in another hour. She shut the door quietly after she went, and you listened carefully to the retreating murmurs of her and the other agent down the hall until you were confident you were more or less alone.
And then you picked up the nearest book and threw it.
“Y/N! Listen, I can explain-”
You threw another book, and this one hit his arm. He winced and rubbed it quickly as he flinched away from you, picking up your third weapon.
“Explain what? Explain why you've commandeered my office for secret FBI business? Explain why you left me behind like a discarded cum rag after we had sex? Maybe you-”
“Y/N, I had a case, I didn't want to-” You threw another book, but he batted it away this time.
“Can we just talk like adults, please?” He stepped forward and grabbed your wrist just as you reloaded with another book, forcing the tome from your grip in a few seconds.
“The Norton Anthology? Really? You'd bludgeon me to death with that thing.”
“It has some interesting essays on psychoanalysis and literary theory. You should be honoured that I'd even think of throwing it at you.”
He just scowled and sat you down on the couch, following you there to sit next to you.
“Why are you still so frustrated? I thought we moved past this- this resentment?”
For the last few weeks, you'd hoped that Spencer was just clueless about what you were going through. That he'd been swamped with work and hadn't seen your message. But getting the confirmation in real time was winding.
The air was knocked from your lungs, and you had to fight to fill them again, refusing to let yourself be so downright pathetic.
“What resentment did we move past exactly, Spencer? Because I remember the sex, but I do not remember your apology.”
“Why should I apologise?” The sincerity in his voice had your fingers itching to knock his lights off for him.
“Well, gee, for a starter, maybe for finding my address online and showing up to my house uninvited and unannounced.”
“I did announce it. You just blocked my number and email.”
You scoffed and threw yourself back in your chair.
“Number, yes. Email? No. You sent it from an unauthorised network email. All your emails sat in my spam folder until last month.”
He furrowed his brows at the news, but you just crossed your arms and waited for whatever he'd say next to get out of taking responsibility.
“I'm sorry.”
To say you weren't expecting that was an understatement. You felt so uncomfortable with the words you fidgeted in your seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
“Yes, well…”
Standing, you moved to your desk and grabbed the snacks you'd come here to find, slamming your desk draw shut and keeping the desk between you, sitting in your chair.
“We're working a case.”
“I can tell.”
He leant over the desk and grabbed one of your snacks, opening a cereal bar quickly and taking a bite.
“Three of the students in our faculty have gone missing in the last 30 days.”
You nodded as you listened, but your eyes were on your snack, in his hand, in his mouth. The bastard.
“I need to use the office for a few days. I won't disturb you, but we need some space as a base on campus, and this is our best option.”
“Not afraid I'll walk away with critical documents this time?”
“This time, I have everything memorised. I've read all the documents. You can't ruin the case this time.”
You stood and grabbed your snack from his hand as he lifted it to take another bite, throwing it straight into the trash can.
“What was that for?”
“For being a jerk.”
You stomped over to your bag and pulled out your headphones, putting them on as he attempted to keep talking to you.
“Y/N, you're being immature-”
“You just stole my snack like it's playtime at recess, Spencer. I'm not the immature one.”
You turned the music on as he attempted to talk to you, but you didn't budge or take them off, returning to the couch to lay comfortably once more.
Something about the infuriating, beautiful man had you wanting to act out, reaching new levels of immaturity.
You felt the dip in the couch as he joined you there, felt him waving in front of your face. You smiled at his growing frustration as you heard him raise his voice just slightly.
Then, your legs were pulled out from under you, and you squeaked in shock as Spencer Reid pulled you into his lap, making you straddle him. Your eyes blew open, and you grabbed at his shirt for balance, leaving you open to his attacks as he knocked the headphones off your head.
“You're such a…a..”
“Jackass? Okay, sure, but I'm a jackass you're going to listen to.”
“Make me.”
The words were a dare, a challenge you didn't think he'd rise to. But his hands snaked around your neck, and he pulled your lips down to him, silencing you completely with another angry kiss.
Your lips parted immediately, all too happy to take in his wondering tongue as you battled for dominance. His hands trailed up and down your body, cupping your ass cheeks, squeezing your already sensitive breasts, pushing your skirt up so his hands could roam underneath.
You squirmed in his lap, memories of the last night you'd seen him rushing back. His tongue, his hands, fuck, his cock. Pregnancy hormones or just plain old lust, you wanted it all over again, and you didn't stop to think about it for a second. Any second he was kissing you was a second he wasn't talking.
You ground your hips into his as he worked a finger into your underwear, scraping against your clit as he pulled his head away, burying it in your neck as he began nipping and licking your skin, on a mission to taste every inch of you.
“Spencer,” You gasped as he began rubbing your clit faster, your body providing all the juices he needed to make you feel good.
“Spencer, we should- fuck!” It'd been only minutes, but he'd already pushed you over the edge, and you died your first little death cumming on his fingers.
“We should fuck? Yes, yeah I can get behind that,” he said, laying you down again and slowly pulling down your damp underwear.
“That's not what I was going to say, you bastard,” you said, grabbing his tie and pulling him in for another kiss.
“I know, but this is much better, don't you think?” He pulled away and fumbled with his pants, pulling them down only far enough to free his cock before sliding into you. He sheathed Himself inside you, pushing inch by inch until he was at your limit, and then he stopped.
He kissed your lips, your cheeks, your neck and collarbones, he took his time with each spot, making a line down your body, a record of every place he had possessed you without moving an inch.
“Spencer, you can't- need to-” you whined, not minding sounding like a petulant child about to throw a tantrum when he was giving you a pretty great reason to do so.
He had eaten your snacks and now he was just keeping his cock warm inside of you, not even bothering to rub your clit anymore, his hands more focused on keeping his weight up.
“I need to do what, Y/N? Tell me, but be quiet about it. This office isn't soundproof, remember.”
“Shit, shit, shit, shit-”
You tried to roll your hips under him, to take the pleasure you needed, but he stopped you, letting his hips press deeper into yours, making himself heavy. You tried another tactic.
“Oh, come on Spencer, you can't even fuck me properly now? Pathetic.’
“Watch it-” he said, but you cut him off again.
“Watch what? You're not doing anything. Maybe I'll ask that little friend of yours outside for some help instead, I'm sure Agent Alvez would be more than happy to-”
A short, soft slap to your face cut your words off as he spoke, the hand that hit you immediately pushing down to your neck and squeezing lightly.
“You're. Mine,” he spat, and started immediately rolling his hips into you quickly.
You wrapped your legs up and around him, your hands lifting to grab his wrist, keeping his hand in place around your throat.
He fucked you harder and your breaths became shallow, eyes locked with his as he panted and writhed above you. He didn't look away. You couldn't. You were drunk on his cock, completely unable to sober up and just waiting for your orgasm to strike you once again.
You weren't two civilised people in that room, but animals, forcing one another to submit, to give in to temptation.
His hand on your throat came loose as he came, chest falling down to yours as he flooded your insides with cum once again. To give him credit where credit was due, he kept his cock inside of you and rubbed your clit again to completion, swallowing your every moan and whimper with a kiss, enjoying the feeling of you convulsing on his cock.
When you were both finally done, he let himself rest on top of you, burying his head in your neck and inhaling your scent as you both dropped back down into reality.
“Get up,” you said first, pushing him up and watching him peel out of you as you reached back to the coffee table for the box of tissues there.
“We need to clean up,” You said attempting to tidy the cum leaking out of you away, as if it were merely a spilt drink.
He sat up, giving his cock a wipe down before putting his clothes back together. You both sat side by side, minding your own business, making yourselves look as inconspicuous as possible and ignoring the elephant in the room.
He broke the silence first.
“The girls, they're all our students. The only thing they share is that they all took both of our courses.”
Your heart dropped as you remembered he wasn't here for you, that he had other jobs and responsibilities. You were merely a pleasurable afterthought.
“Shit,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. You stretched out and stood, sore but still able to make your body work for you.
“You're sure there's nothing else? No clubs, no extra curricular?” His jaw tightened as he ground his teeth together, unsure about how much to tell you.
“They fit a basic profile which tells us the unsub is killing people as a scapegoat and…hasn't got to his intended target yet.”
You nodded as you took in the information, standing and leading yourself back to your desk and grabbing your bag again.
“Look, just… just use the room until you get your guy. I'll work from the library or a study room or something, just…” You ran another hand through your hair, exasperated.
“Y/N, no, we don't need to out you out, we shared the office space before, we can-”
“We can't. Five minutes alone in this room together today proved… that we can't. Don't get distracted.”
You grabbed more books, turning away from him to avoid the guilty looks he was shooting you.
You'd almost collected everything, hesitating as you grabbed your pregnancy vitamins from your draw, stuffing them quickly into your bag before moving closer to the door.
It opened before you could open it, and Emily Prentiss made herself known again.
“Good, you're already packed,” she said, grabbing your bag from your shoulder and slinging it over her own.
“I didn't know you all wanted rid of me so badly,” you said, trying to keep your voice as even and pleasant as possible and greatly failing.
“We don't want to get rid of you. Y/N, I'm afraid it's quite the opposite.”
Your heart slowed to a stop, and your blood ran cold as she offered you a sympathetic glance. You must've stumbled a bit backwards because Spencer's hand was immediately on your lower back, his body curved protectively around you as you too wrapped your arms around yourself, around your baby.
“We've had contact with the killer, and we think you're his intended target,” Emily explained in as even a tone as you'd ever heard someone give a death sentence.
“We've contacted WitSec, but until then, we'll be taking you into protective custody ourselves. I have a spare room, and we'll grab some of your things before you move in, everything you need to feel comfortable. Do you understand?”
“No,” you said, but it wasn't your voice. You felt grateful, though, because you didn't understand. There was someone trying to kill you, and you absolutely didn't understand. You'd just had sex with Spencer Reid again, and you hadn't told him you were pregnant with his child, and nothing made 6 there was someone trying to kill you.
But it wasn't your voice saying no, so you stopped thinking and kistened.
“No, she'll… she'll stay with me,” Spencer said, gripping you tighter and pulling you closer, nearly crushing you in his arms.
“Spencer, it's not up to you,” Emily said, her voice a clear warning even to your buzzing ears.
“Y/N? Y/N, listen to me, please,” he said, gripping your shoulders again and twisting you around so he was all you could see, ducking his head lower so you were directly in his eyeline.
“Y/N, I'll keep you safe. Come and stay with me.”
You thought about his apartment and the message you'd left. You thought about the month you spent waiting for him to call, and the month that you'd spent wanting to rip his throat out. You thought about his hands on your skin, his fingers wrapped around your throat, his cock buried inside of you. You thought, too, about the doctors appointments you'd have to reschedule. You thought about the baby clothes you'd have to leave behind. You thought about how you'd have to hide your morning sickness, and your growing baby bump, and your hormones, and all the supplements recommended by your Doctor because you already loved your baby and you wanted them to be healthy.
You thought that if you went with him, you'd have to tell him and confront whatever decision he made regarding you and the baby.
You thought logically that you shouldn't do it. But his hand grabbed yours, fingers intertwined, and he rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand, and you were nodding.
“Yes,” you said when you should've gone with Emily.
He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead and immediately bundled you out of the office and out of your comfort zone.
🔖@stillhere197 @understandingsunrise @mindfullycriminal @aliteralsemicolon @r-3dlips @alexafromamazon15 @jasf444 @subunitless @thebloomingeagle @lackingoriginalthoughts @empressgraytea @alondralolll @i_heart_mgg @2hiigh2cry @jiuseoks @readinglatenights @placidus @dreamsarebig @pisceslovrr @kbaby-024 @luvdella @feyresqueen @pleasantwitchgarden @lovehadlovelost @kissesforspence @moonchildooh @bubbleebubz @theoraekenslover @flipsideoflife @spicyspirit @chicaconfundidaycuriosa @ivet4 @nox-xie @sarakay-gvf @miss-ev @nvrlandqueen @delicatelittleworld @nokjhg @measure-in-pain @fabulouslynerdy @batrensworld @cattosmush @im-this-girl @sarcasm-and-stiles @lovemelaunic @lllucere @lariclifford @daphnesutton
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#mgg#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert
725 notes
·
View notes
Note
For your smut ideas- astarion leaving bite marks on your thighs👀 pretty vampy elf being all possessive👀
Hi, anon! I loved this request, but I have to warn you: I took it to a bit of a darker place than I usually go. Pay attention to the tags, y'all. I hope you enjoy!
Like my smut writing? Find more here.
Your Feral Love
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Pairing: Astarion x fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.1K
Warnings/Tags: Biting, descriptions of blood, possessive/obsessive Astarion, marking/claiming behavior, oral sex (fem!Reader receiving)
Summary: Astarion has an intense desire to claim you. This time, it's in places the others won't be able to see.
*****
“Maybe we need to take things slower,” you murmured in Astarion’s ear. You swallowed thickly as he dragged his fangs across the sensitive skin of your neck.
“Whyever would we do that?” he whispered huskily, undeterred from continuing his sensual assault. You shivered as you felt his tongue slide up the column of your throat, unable to stop the little moan that escaped your lips.
“Some in our party are worried… about all the bite marks…” you managed to explain, despite the tantalizing option to just lose yourself in Astarion’s embrace. His cool touch was a balm to the inferno he was stoking within you. The creator of your lust; the only cure for it.
But his lips withdrew from your neck at your response. Pulling back, he met your gaze with furrowed brows and a glare that could make even Lae’zel balk.
“Who.” he demanded, his voice strained with barely-repressed anger. “Who had the audacity to murmur about us?”
His fingers spasmed where they clutched your waist. As if he were bracing for the moment when someone would come and yank you away from him.
He was possessive, your lover. Astarion hadn’t had anything to call his own for over two centuries. Not a thing. Not a soul. Now, after having lowered his guards and allowed you in, his possessive streak was as long and wide as the River Chianthar. He was never far from your side, even in battle. And on the rare occasions he was separated from you, you could feel the heat of his gaze tracking your every movement. Watching you. Making sure his one claim in this world was safe. Accounted for.
The bite marks were a consequence of having not only a possessive lover but a vampiric one as well. You didn’t mind, of course. He always asked for your consent.
Can I bite you here?
Your blood is singing to me, darling. Can I taste you here?
What about here? Would you let me sate myself here?
You flourished under the intensity of his love for you. The bite marks were a reminder of that, and so you cherished each one. Each was a memory of the way Astarion had taken, given and enjoyed you. Heat would sometimes color your cheeks and neck later on, when you caught sight of a pair of healing puncture marks, recalling just how they had come to be there, on that particular part of your body.
But others in your party didn’t share your view of these markings. They, namely Wyll and Gale, were worried Astarion had started taking too much of your lifeblood too quickly. You could understand their concern, to some extent. They didn’t know, didn’t have reason to know, how little of your blood he actually took each night. Most times he would drink barely a mouthful before stopping. The urge to claim you in other ways would overtake his bloodlust, and you would climax again and again as he fucked you into oblivion. He kept his fangs punctured in your skin during times like these, claiming that your blood felt sweeter against them as you found your own release. Only when he had spilled himself in you would he remove them, and by then you were too lovestruck to care how long the markings would remain.
“Tell me, darling.”
Astarion’s voice brought you back to the present moment. You shook your head to dispel the thoughts distracting you.
“...Mostly, Wyll. And Gale, to a lesser extent. I don’t know for certain about the others, although I certainly don’t think anyone comes to our defense…” you trailed off, swallowing thickly.
You caught how Astarion clenched his jaw at your words. He was livid, that much was obvious. You also surmised his anxiety was likely surging within him, the paranoia suggesting that someone or something would cause you to be taken from him. Again, his fingers spasmed against your waist.
“...So maybe we should… I don’t know, keep a lower profile about all this? If they say something to you directly, I know I’ll not be able to stop myself from fighting with them,” you explained, clutching his cheek desperately.
“Tsk. Of course the ones who would have a problem with us would be the only other two who’ve been sniffing after you,” Astarion scoffed.
“What the hells are you talking about?” you asked, clearly confused.
“Oh, darling. Surely you’ve seen the way they look at you? How they talk to you? I certainly have,” he huffed.
“I wouldn’t know. I don’t pay them attention, Astarion,” you reassured him, nuzzling your nose against the curve of his jaw. “I only have eyes for you.”
“And I, you,” he murmured, pressing his lips lovingly against your forehead.
You hummed in delight at his affirmation. While you might not show it through bite marks like him, your possessiveness of Astarion was a fearsome thing, too. The emotion sometimes staggered you, even in the most mundane of moments, like when he donned his armor for the day, or when he cleaned his daggers in the firelight. He was yours. You were his. Anyone else was tertiary.
The two of you remained in comfortable silence for some time, limbs intertwined as you lay halfway on top of him, your head resting against his chest. There was no beating heart within to listen to, but it hardly mattered. You knew that what was there, beating or not, belonged to you and only you. Astarion had said as much, amid previous bouts of lovemaking you had shared in this tent.
Your musings broke at the feeling and sound of his throaty chuckle beneath you. You lifted your head to meet his gaze, surprised.
“What is it?” you pressed.
“I have an idea,” he smirked.
“I usually like your ideas,” you quipped, heat flaring in your lower abdomen at the suggestive look in his eyes.
“Then you’ll surely enjoy this,” he crooned, before flipping you both over all at once so that you were flat on your back, breathless beneath him. He fit perfectly between the cradle of your thighs, your legs parting almost instinctively to accommodate his presence. With one arm, he propped himself up above you, while his other hand clutched your leg to bare you open wider. The position alone had you growing wetter by the second, anticipation for what was to come driving your thoughts wild.
“Much as I detest pandering to their concerns, I think we both know I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from fighting with them either, were they to say something directly to us,” Astarion admitted.
“But,” he continued as his nose skimmed the length of your abdomen, heading further and further south. “I also can’t deny how much pleasure it gives me to mark you as I do… to see the evidence of where my fangs have punctured your lovely skin. Mine. No one else’s.”
You bit your lip in a futile effort to stifle your moan as he began brushing the lightest of kisses against your inner thighs. He slid down lower, his face mere inches from your naked form. This close, you were certain he could smell your arousal. And no doubt find evidence of it as well.
“So what is your idea?” you managed in a breathy whisper as your hips canted toward him, seemingly of their own volition.
“How about I mark you here,” he cooed, his fangs sliding along a particularly visible vein that spanned the length of your leg, beginning at your groin. “Where only I can see. A place they can only dream of. A place only I have been.”
You groaned, skin tingling, nearly electric, in every place his mouth touched. You reached down to card a hand through his carelessly flawless locks, tugging ever so gently on the curls. Astarion growled in response, sending a surge of heat through your lower abdomen.
You were teasing a livewire at the moment, and you knew it. Just a little push, and you would ignite something truly mind blowing. You chose your next words carefully, readying yourself for the delicious consequences that would no doubt ensue.
“I’m yours, Astarion,” you whispered, spreading your legs even further for him and clutching his face desperately. “You can lay claim to me however you wish.”
Another growl ripped from his throat at your words and, in a blink, your lower body was pinned to the ground. His arms banded under and around your thighs to hold you in place, not that you had any desire to move. You whimpered as Astarion nipped and sucked his way across the expanse of skin, his nose grazing your soaked cunt from time to time, causing you to jerk with want.
“Please,” you begged, desperate to have his mouth on your swollen, throbbing clit. He was so close to where you wanted – no, needed – him to be and yet still so far.
“Oh no, not yet, darling,” he purred against the plush skin of your thigh. “I’m going to mark you until I’m satisfied first. Then I’ll give you what you crave, I promise.”
You whined, a pathetic little sound, but nodded your assent anyway. Any touch from him was better than nothing, even if it did cause your cunt to ache with a nearly unbearable need.
Then a sudden spike of iciness on your inner thigh had you gasping in surprise, morphing into a long, low moan as you realized Astarion had actually bitten you there. You could feel him sucking your lifeblood into his mouth, your sense of touch being so heightened in your aroused state.
You lifted your head to watch him move from one place to another as he marked and sated himself. You cradled the side of his head lovingly as he fed from you, swiping your thumb rhythmically across his temple. You were utterly entranced, lost in the delicious feeling of him claiming you, as well as the way he beheld you as he sunk his fangs in again and again across your skin.
He looked at you with the fervor of a madman. He clutched at your legs like some covetous creature. Drunk on the need to possess, to claim, to mark. It was dark, powerful, and heady. And you absolutely reveled in it, ravenous with want as you witnessed how his love for you manifested in such an incendiary way.
With a moan of his own, he finally broke from his feasting. Lifting his head to meet your gaze, your cunt clenched at his expression, at his his bloody mouth, grinning widely with purely male satisfaction.
“It should be a crime, you know,” he rasped, his chest heaving with uneven breaths. “How delicious you taste.”
You whined at his words, desperate to have him taste you in another way.
“Shh, shh. I know, I know,” he crooned, squeezing your legs reassuringly. “I know how you want to be tasted now, darling. Don’t fret.”
Your back arched off the ground as, without another word, Astarion dipped his head to plunge his tongue inside your dripping core. Your mind short circuited as you felt his nose press against your clit with intent as his tongue continued to spear into you. It was almost too much to bear; your nerves already were nearly raw with desire.
You couldn’t help the wail that burst from your lips as you felt his tongue lick up, up, up, until he was circling your clit with long, languid strokes. You fisted a blanket and bit down on the fabric, the last shred of your self-awareness working like mad to muffle your sounds.
You knew Astarion was too far gone to care if anyone heard you both, as evidenced by the obscene slurping and smacking sounds that emanated from his lips. That alone had you ratcheting up faster toward climax, relishing the way it felt and sounded to have Astarion feasting on you with such utter abandon.
A few more moments of floating in that delicious limbo and then you were crashing back down from the height of your orgasm. It felt like an almost spiritual experience, though no cleric could ever convince you that a god’s love would feel as good as this, as good as Astarion’s love for you.
Panting and shivering in the aftershock of your release, you clutched at him desperately, eager to embrace him with as much strength your jellied limbs could muster. He crawled up to lay haphazardly on top of you, head resting in the space between your breasts. You combed your fingers through his hair lovingly, content to remain in companionable silence.
“I’m realizing now that I may have in fact gotten a little out of hand…” he murmured against your sternum after a while.
“Perhaps,” you chuckled. “But I’ll take your feral love over anything else, my star.”
#dancingbirdiewrites#astarion#astarion x reader#bg3 astarion#bg3 astarion fic#astarion ancunin#astarion smut#astarion bg3#astarion x tav#astarion x mc#baldurs gate astarion#astarion x f!reader#bg3 smut
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
a new bottom in town
for @steddieholidaydrabbles pop up event 'anniversary'
rated e | 902 words | cw: references to injury | tags: post-vecna, established relationship, top eddie munson, bottom steve harrington, anal sex
🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃
“Can we try something new?” Steve asks as they finish eating the cheesecake Eddie brought home to celebrate their anniversary.
Six months may not seem like a lot to some, but for Steve and Eddie, it was a major milestone and they wanted to treat it as such. The first four months they spent together was mostly at the hospital while Eddie learned how to walk and talk and eat again.
“Sure, baby. What is it?” Eddie sets his fork down and leans forward so he’s in Steve’s space.
“Um. Could you…could you fuck me?”
Eddie’s heart stops.
Listen, it’s not that he doesn’t want to. If anything, he’s fantasized about doing just that for years.
But he’s still gaining muscle mass back in his legs and abs, and he doesn’t have the stamina he had before the bats took it with their teeth.
“Like…put my…”
“Yeah. I’d really…I’d like you to be inside me.”
Eddie’s not sure if he’s dreaming, but this feels like something right out of his best fantasy. He’s just a little hesitant because, well, he doesn’t want to be a disappointment. Their sex life is great as it is, and changing it up now, especially before Eddie’s back to full health, may put everything to a screeching halt.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to.” Steve continues when Eddie doesn’t answer. “I’m good with fucking you if you prefer that.”
“No! No, Stevie. I want to. Trust me.” Eddie gives a self-deprecating laugh. “I’m just not sure I can?”
Steve seems to realize what he’s worried about quickly, nodding like he understands. But after a few seconds, he’s smiling.
“I could ride you?”
Eddie’s definitely dead and somehow he got into heaven or hell is a lot nicer than people led him to believe.
“You would wanna ride my dick? Like, while I do nothing?” Eddie asks for clarification.
“I mean, I’m sure you could do something. But yeah. I could do most of the work,” Steve shrugs like this is not life-changing to Eddie.
“You want me inside of you that bad?”
“Yeah. It’s kinda all I’ve been thinking about for a while,” Steve flushes as he scoots his fork along his empty plate.
“And you think this is a gift for you?”
“It’s a gift for both of us.”
“Then let’s get upstairs, sweetheart.”
Steve’s head snaps up, his eyes bright with desire and excitement. “Really?”
“It’s not exactly a big ask of me to lay in bed and let you ride my dick, baby.”
Steve is out of the room before Eddie’s even up from his chair. Eddie laughs as he follows him, much slower, but finally able to go without the cane around the house. He doesn’t really mind it, but it’s nice to feel more independent without it for something like this.
By the time he’s in their room, Steve’s naked and pouring lube onto his fingers.
“Damn. Okay. Are we in a rush?” Eddie leans against the doorway and crosses his arms.
“I was gonna prep myself so you could watch.”
“Steve. Baby. Love of my life.” Eddie walks to the bed and sits down, crossing his legs and leaning his face in his hands. “This is the best gift you’ve ever given me. Continue.”
Steve flushes from his chest to his forehead and Eddie can’t get enough. He resists further interrupting him, though.
He watches Steve lean back against the pillows at an angle, teasing his own hole while Eddie barely bites back a moan. He’s been hard since he walked in the room and saw Steve’s bare ass in the bed, but now he can feel the urgency of needing to lose his clothes and get inside Steve.
Steve’s efficient and Eddie is definitely asking him about how he’s so good at opening himself up later, and within minutes, Steve’s begging for Eddie to lay down.
Eddie gets undressed as quickly as possible and finds a comfortable position against the headboard.
Steve straddles him, lines up his cock, and slides down before Eddie can even process what’s happening.
They moan together, long and loud.
“Fuck, is this how you feel when I’m inside you?” Steve gasps as he lifts himself and drops back down.
“Full? Hot? Tingly?” Steve nods. “Then, yes. Shit, Stevie, you’re so tight. It doesn’t hurt?”
“No, feels so good.” Steve’s head falls back as he finds a slow rhythm, still cautious as he stretches himself further.
Eddie’s hands rest on his hips, not helping, just holding.
“Wanna do this every night,” Steve groans as his pace picks up. “Forever. Can we?”
“Baby, if I wake up and this wasn’t a dream, we can do it whenever you want.”
“Touch me.” Steve demands, always so bossy even when he’s getting everything he wants. Eddie touches him because he will always do what Steve asks of him. “Fuck, faster. Yeah, like that.”
When they come less than a minute later, Steve collapses against Eddie, head on his shoulder and arms a deadweight by his sides.
“You okay?” Eddie asks as he rubs his back with one hand.
“So good.” Steve kissed his shoulder. “I’m the bottom now.”
Eddie cackles. “We can take turns.”
“80/20?”
“Okay. Let me get my strength back so I can fuck you properly and we’ll see if you still want that.”
Steve pulls back and smirks. “Where’s your cane?”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddieholidaydrabbles#pop up event#anniversary#top eddie munson#bottom steve harrington
382 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 ————— part 1
𐙚 summary; the one where lando norris reunites with his childhood love at the Monaco Grand Prix and is convinced he’s over her. after all, it’s been 7 years. he can’t still love her, right?
ʚɞ pairing; lando norris x influencer!reader
ᡣ𐭩 fc; jadeybird on ig
⭒ type; irl x smau (there will be more smau in later parts)
⟡ a/n; i’ve come to realise that there aren’t many stories on here where the reader is mid/plus-sized. as a mid/plus-size girl myself, i personally can find it upsetting when there is mainly only representation of the body types that society deems to be conventionally attractive and not a lot of representation of others, they are common body types and they are attractive. i have struggled with body image in the past and i still do on occasion, if anyone who reads this ever needs anyone to talk to about this or literally anything else, feel free to message me and i’ll always get back to you. love you all, you beautiful people xx
comment to be added to my tag list <3
———————————————————————
———————————————————————
Lando Norris loved the Monaco Grand Prix. Who didn’t? The history behind the race, the atmosphere, it was overall an amazing experience every year. And best of all, he was able to stay at home. When travelling so often meant never staying in one place too long, he was grateful for one time a year he could sleep in his own bed the night before a race.
It was race day and, as per, the track was as chaotic as usual. From the mechanics frantically checking to make sure the cars were ready for the race to the fans filling the track to the brim, it was hard to get a moment alone. In fact, Lando had barely had one since he stepped foot on the track. He’d been pulled into meetings and interviews left, right and centre.
Amongst all the chaos he finally has some time to himself as he heads to the track for the national anthem. He’s walking in silence, head down as he makes his way over. He keeps going over the strategy for the race in his head, he’s starting in p4. Overtakes are hard on this circuit, everyone knows that. All Lando wants this race is to preserve his tyres and hold his position.
It’s like the universe made it happen. Just as he lifted his head up, he’s met with someone he never thought he’d see again. Y/n. His first true love. They were together for three years, but when it became abundantly clear that Lando would be joining Mclaren for the 2019 formula one season, they couldn’t deal with the consequences that brought for their relationship, and ultimately it ended.
She doesn’t see him, and he’s almost relieved she didn’t. It’s been seven years since the end of their relationship, and yet upon seeing her he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she is. She’s changed, naturally, they were just teenagers when they separated. But she’s still as breathtaking as he remembers. He couldn’t be thinking about this. Not now. He pushes these feelings down, repressing them as much as he can as he finds his spot on the carpet and the national anthem begins. He needs to focus on the race.
———————————————————————
78 laps later and he was p4. Lando knew he probably wasn’t going to gain any positions during the race due to the circuit but he still can’t help but feel slightly disappointed in himself. Ever since his first win in Miami, since he was finally able to prove that he can win races, he’s craved it again. That feeling when he passed the checkered flag in first place, he wanted it again. It’s natural in his line of work to want to be the best, he’s surrounded by 19 other drivers who all want to be on that top step every weekend. But his teammate was p2, he was proud of him. Overall a good weekend for the team.
After the race was just as chaotic as the start, between interviews and press conferences and briefings, the only quiet time Lando gets is in between them. So that’s what he’s doing. Walking in silence towards the interview pen as his pr manager talks in his ear. He’s not paying attention to where he goes and so of course he has to walk into someone.
“Sor-“ He says looking up at them, expecting to send a small smile their way before continuing but that’s not what happens. “Y/n..”
“Lando…” Her voice is still as soft as it was all those years ago. He just gazes at her and neither makes a move to look away. That is until she clears her throat, looking down.
“How’ve you been?” Lando asks, a feeble attempt to get her to stay just a little longer. He doesn’t want her to walk away just yet. Just a moment longer.
“I’ve been well,” Glancing back up at him and he can tell she’s hesitant, he doesn’t blame her. Breathing out, she sighs before she speaks once more, “I watched Miami, congratulations on your first win.”
She still watched, she’d watched him win. He doesn’t quite know why he thought she wouldn’t; she’d always had a love for motorsports. It’s one thing they bonded over as teens.
“Thank you,” He can’t help the soft smile that graces his face. Lando mentally curses himself for glancing over her shoulder, being met with the slightly annoyed face of his pr manager. He should be in the pen by now.
He looks back at her, nodding. “I should probably go… it was good to see you.” She just nods at him, smiling softly, watching as he walks away.
Arriving at the pen, Lando takes a deep breath, forcing himself back into the driver headspace.
———————————————————————
Five hours later and he’s stood in a club, music blasting, bodies dancing all around him and he’s stood nursing the same drink for the past 20 minutes, taking with George. Normally Lando loves a party, out of the whole driver grid he’s the one you’re most likely to spot coming in and out of clubs on a Sunday night. But tonight he’s just not in the mood and he just can’t figure out why. Though he has reason to believe it’s got something to do with the girl he can spy dancing over George’s shoulder.
He can’t help but let his eyes dart towards her every couple minutes. He watches as she dances surrounded by people, laughing and smiling without a care in the world: he used to be able to make her do that. The countless nights they’d spend wrapped up in each other, talking about whatever came to mind, the soft giggles she’d let out anytime Lando said something even remotely funny as his hands would occupy themselves in her hair. They all came back to him as he watched her.
Clearing his throat and downing the rest of his drink, he turns to George, dismissing himself before heading to the bar and deciding he was going to drink away the thoughts of the girl that was seemingly occupying his mind like a plague. He certainly does just that and three hours later, Lando is black out drunk basically lying down in the back of a taxi as Carlos sits there with him, making sure he gets home safely.
———————————————————————
A groan immediately falls from Lando’s mouth as he wakes up with a hangover straight from hell. He buries himself under his duvet until he finally decides he needs something for the pain. Peeling the duvet off of his body, he stands up, jumping slightly at his phone ringing. It’s Carlos.
“Please remind me to never drink again,” Lando states the moment he answers the phone and he’s met with Carlos laughing into his ear.
“It’s that bad?” The spaniard asks and Lando can hear his smirk down the phone. Letting out a grumbled “yes” Lando drags himself into the bathroom where he keeps his painkillers.
“What even happened?” Carlos questions him, “Didn’t you say you weren’t gonna drink much?”
“I don’t know,” Lando sighs, swallowing the painkillers, finishing the glass of water. He’s lying. He knows why but he’s not going to tell Carlos that.
His mind drifts back to the short conversation he had with her the day before. The way she danced in the club. The way she laughed. Her smile. Shaking his head, he pushes it down. He ends the phone call with Carlos, making the excuse he’s going back to bed, hoping to sleep off the hangover.
But he can’t get back to sleep, he’s never been able to fall back asleep after waking up, envying people who find it so easy. After 10 minutes of trying, he finds himself hauling himself into his living room, sprawling out on the sofa and watching whatever Netflix recommends him.
He has no clue what he’s watching but then again, he’s not really paying attention. His mind kept travelling back to her. No matter what he tried. He told himself it was just shock. The shock of seeing her again. And before he knew it, he was opening instagram, typing in her name and clicking her most recent post.
———————————————————————
y/nusername
liked by yourbff, landonorris and others
tagged yourbff, scuderiaferrari
y/nusername monaco, you are so sexy
thank you @scuderiaferrari for the invite <3
comments…
yourbff girls trips with you are the best <3
⤷ y/nusername i love you <3
user1 y/n being an f1 girlie is literally the best thing to ever happen to me
user2 y/n just proving “hot girls love f1” to be true
scuderiaferrari loved having you around
*liked by y/nusername*
⤷ y/nusername loved being around
alexandrasaintmleux loved meeting you, we need to hang out again!!
⤷ y/nusername you’re an angel, we need to!!
user3 i wanna party with y/n so bad
⤷ user4 me too!! she’s deffo the most fun ever
yourfriend1 missing you :/
⤷ y/nusername missing you more honeybun
user5 lando in the likes??
⤷ user6 he’s in the likes but they don’t follow each other
———————————————————————
part 2 soon !!
taglist; @soamericn @urfavwelshie @realcherryjam @danielshoe @coastalrainae
#f1#f1 drivers x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula one#lando norris#lando norris x reader#alex albon#charles leclerc#george russell#ln4#ln4 x reader#lando norris fanfic#f1 fanfic#lando x reader#f1 smau#f1 wags#mclaren f1#max verstappen#ferrari#f1 fic#oscar piastri#smau#f1 drivers#f1 x y/n#formula one x reader#oscar piastri x reader#charles leclerc x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader
503 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mirrors
-‘๑’- pairing: HUSBAND!jaehyun x WIFE!y/n
-‘๑’- warnings/tags: smut!, dirty talk, pet names (baby, good girl, wife, beautiful), unprotected sex, finger-fucking, squirting, spanking, heavy making out/kissing, breast play, cursing, multiple orgams, riding
-‘๑’- w.c: 1.6k
-‘๑’- a.n: hii!! i’m sorry for being MIA for the last month, school has been rlly overwhelming with midterms & testing but i’m on break rn which means ill be back to uploading! look foward to all the content i’ll be releasing starting with this one!! i love u all & thank you for waiting. i’m truly sorry 🤍
. . .
The hard crash of his lips on mine as the faint sound of the door slamming shut rung in my ears.
“Naked and on the bed,” he said as he pulled his lips away, his voice so deep.
Without a second thought, I went into the room and rid myself of every piece of clothing I had on. The cool air brushed against my wet aching core and hard nipples. Jaehyun walked in moments later, his hard cock leaking with precum. I wanted nothing more but to get a taste of it in my mouth, and fuck me til’ I forgot who I was.
Only he could do that.
His fingers grabbed my chin, lifting my head so I could look at him, eye-to-eye.
“Open your mouth,” he whispered, and so I did; slipping in two fingers into my mouth. “Suck.”
I sucked on his fingers, while he looked at me in a taunting way. His face saying, What a slut. I swirled my tongue and sucked on his fingers. ‘Is it weird how I find this oddly hot?’
Soon I was put in a haze, Jaehyun must’ve noticed it since he took his fingers out and managed to position me on top of him.
“You shouldn’t be thinking about anything else besides me,” he said, pinching one of my nipples roughly. I unconsciously grinded against him, his hard cock resting against my ass.
“S-sorry-“ I muttered, before he picked me up and sat in front of the mirror that stood in the corner of the room. I was positioned with my back resting against his chest, and his hands opening up my legs. I watched through the mirror all his movements and the way my cunt drooled.
“So wet for me,” he taunted, as he ghosted his hand around my cunt. Before I was able to mutter a sentence, a word, he slapped my cunt. I omitted a low yell, earning me another slap. “Oh! Fuck. J-Jae.” Slap. “Please ‘m nn-no.”
His hot breath warmed my ear, and he whispered, “No, you deserve a punishment after the show you put on at dinner.” His lips lingered for a while longer, then kissed down my neck. I felt like I was going to crumble any minute now, just by his harsh slaps and taunting words. I was so close, so fucking close, but then his slaps came to a hault.
“J-Jaehyun?” I questioned, turning my head back. His lust-filled eyes staring back at me.
He smirked, “Oh my pretty wife, you don’t get to cum yet.”
“Wha-What? I-“ He interrupted me halfway when his fingers intruded inside my cunt. No warning, Nothing. His two fingers going at an unmerciful pace, my stomach fluttered. The knot threatened to unleash any moment now.
“Pl-Pleas’ let me c-cum. I’m cl-close Jaehyun…”
His pace slowed, then halted again. He was torturing me. I couldn’t handle it. “No, no, no. Please Jae let me cum,” I begged him. I needed to release.
His hand grabbed my jaw, turning me to face him. “Apologize then,” his hazy voice said. “Apologize?” I questioned. “Yes, apologize for the show you put on earlier.”
The last hours came rushing back into my hazy mind. The incident at the restaurant. The incident in question was when I put on a dress—so short in his words—that it kept lifting up, nearly exposing my ass.
In truth, I wore it to piss him off, and because I might’ve felt a little needy for him today. However, I underestimated how many people would have their eyes on me, and the amount of fumes erupting from Jaehyun's head.
“S-Sorry… I’ll never do that again Jae.” His face didn’t change, “And?”
“And I’m only yours. I belong to you Jaehyun.”
He smirked, his lips finding mine. The kiss distracting me from his fingers that once again intruded inside my cunt, continuing their pace. His thumb playing with my clit, stroking, and circling it until it had me begging into our kiss. I wanted more.
“Please fuck me.” The words came out of my mouth, when I pulled away from the kiss.
Jaehyun didn’t say anything, he just lowered his head into my neck, sucking on my sweet spot as he continued relentlessly finger fucking me. I involuntarily clenched around his fingers, signaling him.
“It’s okay baby, let go all over my fingers beautiful.” Jaehyun's words were the tip of the iceberg, I came crashing down. Loud moans erupted from my lips, tears streamed from my eyes, and the faint touch of his lips against my shoulders.
“I always love it when you squirt,” he whispered. When my eyes finally fluttered open, I witnessed what he meant by that. I squirted all over his arm, the mirror, and the floor. The scene in front of us; a mess.
He brought his hand that was inside me to his mouth, licking himself clean of all my juices. He let out a satisfied groan. When he finished, he picked me back up and threw me gently on the bed. His cock aching for it’s release.
“Spread nice and wide for me baby,” he said. I grabbed my legs, spreading them for him. In different circumstances I would’ve hesitated, but the lust clouding my mind cut out any logic or emotions.
“Good girl.”
He brought himself closer, his tip prodded outside me. He was teasing me, but I was running out of patience. I shifted closer until his tip was the only thing inside my cunt.
“Impatient aren’t you my wife,” he teased as he watched me. He was enjoying this so much, I saw it in the way he look at me.
“Please hurry Jae, I need you to fuck me already.”
“Fuck you drive me insane Y/N.”
We both moaned when he pushed his cock further in, stretching me out so well. Jaehyun groaned, taking my arms to pin them above my head.
“So fucking tight,” he chuckled. “Even after all that squirting.”
Jaehyun thrusted hard and rough. The squelching sounds echoed in the room along with my moans. I would’ve been scratching his back if it wasn’t for the hold he had on my wrists that he pinned above my head.
“Ri-Right there,” I moaned out when he hit the spot he knows will have me crashing and crumbling. “Deeper… Harder.”
“As you wish,” he said. Jaehyun angled me slightly, his thrusts reaching me more deeper. The hold on my wrists disappeared, his hands now coming down my body until one reached my clit. He circled and pinched the already swollen clit as he thrusted even more relentlessly into me.
“Cum,” he groaned. One thrust, then two, until I finally came. I came hard on his cock, clenching around it while he fucked me through my climax.
His thrust then slowed down, going sloppy. He was close too. A couple thrusts more and he came too. His white seeds painting my insides white, filling me up so well.
“Good job baby,” he whispered, kissing my lips gently, a total contrast to his demeanor earlier. He laid beside me, and we waited until we caught out breaths. However, I was far from satisfied, I wanted him back inside me.
I turned to his side, he was already looking at me. He smiled, his dimples appearing. I got up, staring at his cock, which was still semi-hard.
“Not satisfied,” he said. I turned to him, seeing the smirk plastered across his face. I nodded. “Then ride me baby, you know what to do.”
Before I entered him, I stroked him to get his cock harder. I positioned myself on top of his cock, lowering myself until the tip poked me. I slid him in slowly, until he was all the way in.
“Fuck. Feel so good,” he groaned, bringing his hands to the sides of my hips.
I started bouncing, increasing my speed the more I go. His fingers dug into me, marks sure to appear. “Keep going baby, like that. Fuck. You’ll be the death of me.”
His praises only ignited me even more. “You like that?” I said when I leaned forward to capture his lips. He only let a satisfied groan into the kiss, but his hands traveled down to the flesh of my ass. He kneaded it, smacking it moments later. His smacks didn’t stop, but they did once I got back up.
“Keep riding me beautiful, I’m close to cummin’ now.”
And so I continued, his hands now on my tits. He fondled them, playing with both my nipples and later pinching them while I bounced on him. “Come down, I wanna suck on em’” he commanded.
My hands on the headboard, while my tits came in front of his face. I felt as his tongue darted out, and sucked on one like a child.
Slap. “Keep moving,” he said, biting down on my nipple.
It didn’t take long until we both came. My third climax erupting from me, in a hazy and euphoric way. I only saw white.
“Fucked dumb my little wife,” Jaehyun said, looking down at me. My legs trembled, tear stains all over my face, drool escaping my lips, and his love marks scattered all over my body.
“Yes,” I muttered. His head came down next to my ear whispering, “You did well.” His voice caused an eruption of butterflies in my stomach. I always loved his praises.
“Go to sleep now baby, I’ll clean you up,” he said. “And the mess you made in the mirror,” he teased. I pouted at his words, earning a laugh from him.
“I’m sorry, I love you.” He kissed my temple saying, “Good night my wife.”
“Good night Jae, I love you.” I muttered into the night before I drifted off into a quiet and deep sleep.
. . .
© jhdyuiee
2024.03.23
#jeong jaehyun#jaehyun jeong#jung jaehyun#jaehyun#jaehyun nct#nct jaehyun#nct 127#jaehyun smut#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#nct#nct dojaejung#nct u#nct smut#kpop fanfic#kpop#nct fanfic#kpop smut#jaehyun hard hours#boyfriend jaehyun#jaehyun fluff#nct drabbles#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct x reader#kpop fic#kpop scenarios#kpop drabbles#kpop nct
651 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I came up with this at work because I was left alone with my thoughts for 10 hrs.
Imagine a feyd x single mom reader except the baby is Paul’s. Reader used to be a servant in caladan and eventually her and Paul messed around, she approached lady Jessica in confidence for help but instead got sold off because Paul getting a servant girl pregnant was not part of her plan. Later feyd kinda saves reader from the a-hole who bought her but in reality he was there to kill the guy for betraying the baron and saw reader and decided he wanted her. He finds out she’s already pregnant but instead of killing her of getting rid of her he kinda hides her away so he can have his own secret lil family (maybe as a way to cope with the childhood that was stolen from him). Feyd has his harpies protect and hide her and the baby and over time the girls bond (baby is having the worlds most protective and feral aunties). Eventually reader tell feyd who the baby’s dad is and explains how she ended up at the a-holes house. Feyd finds the situation hilarious but still decides to protect reader and raise the baby as his own (not really out of love but more as a jab at Paul like haha I have your toys but they do eventually grow to care about each other, maybe not love but definitely a codependency). When the baby is born he immediately becomes attached to her (I must protect this tiny creature) which is a new emotion to him.For a couple of years baby girl grows up seeing feyd as her dad. Eventually the events of dune happen and right before Paul is about to stab him, feyd says something along the lines “ go ahead and kill me in front of your daughter”. Paul is understandingly confused until a lil 4-5 year old comes running out to feyd screaming daddy and using the voice to make Paul back off. Everyone can instantly see who her biological father is since she has his hair, eyes and is able to use the voice. Feyd would definitely have a shit eating grin when Paul learns that his mother is the reason his daughter grew up without him. Paul tries to approach her but she turns her head and says to feyd “daddy I wanna go home” and Paul’s heart just breaks at the realization that he lost his daughter before he even knew about her. Paul can’t kill Feyd since he would loose his daughter even more and they basically create a custody agreement where Paul can come and visit her every month.
Please if someone turns this into a fic tag me so I can read🙏
Edit: I am planning on writing this out but give me some time since it will be my first fanfic since high school
@dreamlandcreations @triluvial @austinbutlerslovers @sansaorgana @purejasmine @sebastianswallows
Update
I finally had time to start writing this and although it’s my first fic I’m really proud of it. I ended up making a second account with the intent to only post fics there to make things easier for myself. If you’re interested in reading I’ll add a link under this.
#austin butler x reader#feyd imagine#feyd rautha#feyd rautha x reader#dune movie#timothee chalamet x reader#paul atreides x reader
688 notes
·
View notes