#TW: Derealization

[firexima]

Tip toe, for he might hear you. Stay low, for he might see you. Look around, for he might draw near you.

After all, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

[lxrd-ren]

No like but imagine when everyone else gets back on the QSMP and they're immediately met with a black screen with the words: 'ANNOUNCEMENT: WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK, EVERYONE WILL BE PUT TO THE TEST AND PUSHED BEYOND THEIR LIMIT. BE PREPARED. BE ON GUARD. BE READY. OH, AND...WARNING: ONE OF YOUR FELLOW ISLANDERS HAS ALREADY BEEN PUSHED BEYOND THEIR LIMIT. GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY THE ISLAND' then they turn around and they see q!Bad just fucking insane; just straight up cackling because he knows they are all cucurocho and screaming at them to stay away and that he promises to be good just please leave him alone

Imagine how fucking haunting that would be.

[strawberryshortcake1495]

As if I couldn’t make my Lebam AU even darker… 😭

In Dipper and Mabel VS the Future, Mabel finds out that Dipper will become Ford’s apprentice and therefore will be leaving her to a cruel, unforgiving, and unpredictable world all by herself. This is when Mabel truly starts to delve into McGucket levels of insanity. When Dipper goes home, instead of asking him to tell her he’s joking, Mabel simply asks him if it’s true. Confused, Dipper gently touches her shoulder and she pounces on him. Pinning him to the wooden floor with an iron grip, Mabel interrogates him. She’s sacrificed so much for him. Her happiness, her dignity, her identity. It was all for him. Now he wants to run away and leave her to rot in the mud? She’s sad and angry but her mind is churning like a pot of boiling water. It’s confused because the whole point of Lebam is to protect Dipper, now she’s hurting him? It didn’t make sense. Mabel realizes this as she’s strangling her brother to death. Horrified, she drags him out to the forest and buries his body before proceeding to have a loud hysterical breakdown. She prepares to take her own life when she’s stopped by Blendin. He tells her he can fix everything for her, make all the pain go away, as long as she joins him. She takes the offer. Her sole purpose in life was to love and cherish her twin brother, but now he’s dead. She has nothing left to lose. She’s whisked away, not knowing Dipper was still alive.

Now here’s the difference: Mabeland is more of a dream-like realm inside Mabel’s mind and Bill simply shoved all the memories of her past life down to make room in her mindscape for Mabeland. Mabel is very much conscious and aware of Weirdmageddon, but as I said, she has nothing to lose. But as she’s curled up in the corner of the Fearamid, the realization of what she’s truly done starts to seep in. She can’t stop thinking about Dipper. He’s really gone. Mabel tries to distract herself by going to sleep and traveling to Mabeland but it doesn’t fill the void in her heart. That’s when Mabel realizes she can’t live without her brother, so she needs to be her own brother. With Bill’s help, she cuts her hair and styles it to look like Dipper’s and takes her sweater and headband off, replacing her shirt with a Pinetree shirt to really go with the vibe. Now she has 3 separate personalities: Mabel, Lebam, and Pinetree.

Meanwhile, Dipper manages to dig himself out of the ground but he’s extremely weak. Wendy scours the woods for shelter and finds his limp body on the ground. She brings him to a cave and nurses him back to health, well at least until he’s able to stand and speak. Then they go to find Ford and Mabel.

[bunfloras]

The ender king making a public appearance and yoinking q!phil 👀 preferably in front of his friends and/or kids

He’d thought he’d never feel the chains again. Claws, so sickly-sweet, gentle in a way that betrays their greed. They cup his face, tilting his gaze away from the ones he loves.

He stares into amethyst.

He can’t breathe.

Someone’s calling to him. Their voice is lost to the wind—the distinction that makes them them stolen away. It could be his child, or his love, or his brother. Ender steals everything, in the end. Their faces, too, would be lost if he could look. Blurred like ink smeared across the pages, wet with the rain.

That’s what Ender does. He takes. Lives, memories, worlds—plucked away. Always taking, never giving, too greedy to ever have his fill.

And what’s his, he always finds again.

Come home, Angel.

It’s not his own voice that Ender uses. It’s young and soft, the voices that greet him each morning when he wakes and the ones that say goodnight each evening. It’s the voice he misses when the house is empty and the children are his alone to care for. It’s the voice he’s known for years—the one he’d know by his breath alone. It’s the voice he hears crying out in joyous triumph when he’s pinned beneath. It’s the voice he pushed away until it was too late.

He can’t hear them anymore. He can’t see them anymore. He thinks he wants to.

Come home.

And how could he ever say no to them?

[delusionalculture-is]

TW : Slight unreality(?)

Delusional culture is if i think it too much i can make it happen, but the anxiety makes me obsessed with negative catastrophizing ideas so im always worried ill think harm upon my family

.

[askthe-protags]

shuichi, you can’t keep dwelling in the past! Then you’ll get nowhere . We can all tell you really like kokichi and it’s obvious he likes you back

"But is there any point in doing it? I'm just gonna screw it up again, like I always do. I'm going to get him hurt and that's the last thing I want to do. Oh god, I can't breath. I feel like I'm trapped in my own skin. Does anything even matter anymore? I feel sick. I just wanna go to bed..." *Shuichi keeps muttering similar sayings, questioning everything and every action he'd ever made.*

[scholarofgloom]

[daily-airimomoi-vitamins]

LOADING

YOUR MEMORIES

WHY WOULD YOU FORGET?

YOU ARE REAL

You

I

..

Tw: mentions of d3ath, derealization

[hectorthedoggo]

yo @kani-miso i made a little writing snippet :D based on your drawing and the other's idea!!

made while listening to everywhere at the end of time :) instead of doing my homework. May edit later :)

TW: dissociation, derealization, idk it's es.

They woke up, and the world was tilted. 

Their hair tickled the back of their neck as they slowly and mechanically turned their head to examine their environment.

They tilted their head, confused. Is this my home? 

Their identity was on the tip of their tongue, but it escaped them as of now.

They looked down at their hands. They felt the sensation of moving their fingers, connected to a habit long past. Or was it yesterday?

The person (?) stared at a spot in the room. Of course. They are watching me.

It winked back at them, and they stared at its empty void for a little longer, finding a semblance of a soupy thought in it.

This is my purpose, is it not? A hat lay on a nearby table, along with a cup of something. They reached out their arm, enjoying the sensation of the muscles pulling on each other at their discretion.

I have choices?

They picked up the hat, the silky yet firm material feeling nice on their hands. They stared back at the hole, the all-seeing eye.

They’re watching me, aren’t they all? Do they want me to put on the hat? An empty smile split their face. 

No indication came from the eye. That’s not right…

Their mouth was tugged down.

A small upset feeling tugged at the bottom of their stomach. Strange emotions blurrily leaked from their eyes. This choice doesn’t feel right.

They kept their eyes trained on the camera. Can they generate the clarity that I cannot?

They tried out speaking. “Hi. Hi. Hello.”

The sound bounced off of the otherwise cold walls, and had no effect. “Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can we hear me?”

The words emanating from their mouth did not quite reach their ears. They cannot hear me.

They can see us all. Imagine whatever they would like. They matched the empty hole’s stare.

They abruptly threw the hat at the teacup, making the liquid pour over the table. Is the table seen? They stared at the table. I see the table.

The liquid never quite sunk into the table. My table?

Am I mistreating it? Is it all my fault, or the hole’s?

They brought their hand up to their head, moving their bangs out of their periphery and into the field of their vision. Grey? Or is it blonde? 

Is it up to the hole? They let the blissful daze of the choice be left to the hole. They moved their eyes to face the wall, and yet again let it go to the side in confusion. Birdcage, or support?

Birds? Birds? Have I met one? Blue feathers came into their periphery, but they disappeared the moment they looked at it.

The unfamiliar sensation of a smile came upon them. They bunched themself up on the couch, starting to rock back and forth, eyes never leaving the hole.

The being hummed a song from an unspecified time.

An upbeat tone. A couch. An injury. Is that me?

No, that doesn’t feel right. What melody is mine? They thought to their voice. That’s mine, right? Not anyone else’s.

The thought felt wrong, but they forced the piece into the center of the crooked puzzle. My voice, my voice.

They increased the melody in volume. It’s not mine, it’s not mine. What is mine?

They grabbed their hair, of which color was not yet determined by the hole. They pulled, with their hands. This elicited a reaction, fortunately.

A noise. They could scream, so they did. Did the hole do that, or was it my choice? 

Continuous noises issued from the being, noises of pain, noises of suffering. At least it’s mine.

I am the one who makes these noises. 

That’s who I am.

[principiumindividuationis777]

[rinzay]

:]

[ayiemojis]

Yahoo — demon

Emotophobia attack — attack

Emotophobia — pray

Pasta — tw: derealization 

Tw: derealization — tw: derealization

[halfdent]

◖ @divingdownthehole / 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 :  "Sit down before you fall down.

⚖  ― blood, blood, gallons of the stuff ! 彡

They  are  displaced  .  They  don't  know  right  this  second  who  is  in  the  forefront  of  their  mind  ,  breath  tight  .  Their  ribs  feel  full  of  fluid  ,  it  was  just  a  sensation  ,  though  it  constricted  their  chest  nonetheless  .  Panic .

Their  body  heavy  while  they  seem  to  be  out  of  bounds  and  out  of  their  body  .  Soon  came  a  voice  .  Sit  down  .

Can  they  sit  ?  Would  their  body  allow  for  that  ?  They  willed  it  anyway  ,  breathing  in  ,  air  trying  to  join  the  mugginess  of  their  lungs  .

❝  What  ?  -  Who  .  ❞  Vision  abstracts  until  it  doesn't  ,  it  settles  ,  focusing  on  the  figure  in  front  of  them  .  ❝  You  .  ❞  It  yields  no  malice  ,  no  their  words  are  escaping  their  split  lips  ,  though  not  quite  registering  to  their  own  ears  .  ...  Jervis  Tetch  .  That's  who  this  is  .  They  look  to  their  hands  ,  squeezing  them  tight  .

[lxrd-ren]

Okok, newest q!BBH theory, holy shit this explains a lot

Credits to @demodraws0606 for helping me with this theory :)

So, I looked at the wiki for the soul vultures, soul heart and soul stealing potion in more detail and oh boy..

So, q!BBH has been letting himself be hurt by the soul vultures, so the soul vultures are slowly stealing his soul. Dapper was also doing this, keep this in mind. This was to get the soul hearts from the soul vultures. The soul hearts make the soul-stealing potion. The soul-stealing potion grants you the same powers as the soul vulture: soul stealing

And so, I think q!BBH has been making and consuming the soul stealing potion. Why? Because the blue on him is exactly the same shade as the soul vultures and we know it's not from the soul vultures directly / attacking him because Dapper did the same but we didn't see any blue on Dapper.

Plus, the whole blue stuff didn't appear overnight. What did appear overnight however was black patches. These black patches is likely his blood from getting harmed from the soul vultures so much. His blood slowly turned blue as he consumed more and more of the soul-stealing potion.

And we know now that he wouldn't know that it was his blood because ever since the eggs went missing he can't see in colour, he can't smell the blood nor feel the pain to know that he's actively bleeding.

And the blue blood is only one side effect of the soul-stealing potion. The infection on the side of his head that is making his eye blue is probably a side effect too.

Now, why would he be doing this? To defeat the federation ofcourse. We know Cucurucho can't be killed by normal means. However, soul-stealing isn't a normal mean. If q!BBH gains enough soul-stealing power, he could be able to steal Cucurucho's soul and essentially kill it.

It would also explain why q!BBH left that soul vulture (with the same soul-stealing powers) in Ron's cell; to test to see if the federation is effected by the soul-stealing.

Everything also lines up with q!BBH's behavior.

First, the soul vultures are stealing q!BBH's soul, leading him to quite literally lose his mind (hysteric / hallucination stream), memory loss being very frequent, etc etc.

And y'know how there's been so many deaths flags from q!BBH recently? This could be how he 'dies';

by losing his soul.

Second, him consuming the soul-stealing potion leads him to having more and more soul-stealing powers but by consuming the soul vultures souls he is becoming more and more like one as their souls replace his. Aka, the blue blood, the blue infection, the soul vulture noises we heard whilst no soul vultures were around but q!BBH was, etc etc

And to tie it all up in a neat little bow...

On the 23rd of September, q!BBH visibly became more faded, very similar to a ghost, like how his soul is fading away. And then, days later on the 1st of October, THE DAY OF THE HALLUCINATION STREAM, the fading on q!BBH was replaced by a shade of blue similar to that of the soul vultures,

JUST LIKE HOW THE SOUL VULTURES SOULS ARE REPLACING HIS SOUL

(If you've any questions about how I came to some of the conclusions you can ask or just scroll through my past posts)

[bunfloras]

Okay okay. Phil thinking he's losing his mind in qsmp and maybe going to fit to confirm what he's seeing, only to realize it's not real.

Phil is alone.

Not real.

Fit is here.

Real.

Phil escaped.

Real…?

Phil sinks into the chair with a groan, face buried in his hands. It’s all he can manage just to breathe, his heart hammering against his ribs like a bird in a cage—

A cage, a cage.

How long has it been? Days? Months?

“Fuckin’ hell...”

Fit ‘tsks’ sympathetically beside him. Even that is too loud, almost as noisy in his ears as his own heart. It’s better than the silence, though. He hears a clatter as Fit digs through his chests, and then the tell-tale rattle of maracas. His heart stops for a moment, his lips forming Tallulah’s name before he thinks better of it.

She isn’t there. She hasn’t been there for a while. Phil doesn’t know how long.

Fit mouths an apology, shoving the instruments a little deeper into his chest. He hands Phil a bottle of water, though when he filled it, Phil doesn’t know. Time is skipping around like a scratched record, leaving everything hazy and disjointed. It has been for weeks.

Has it been weeks?

It’s too quiet. Everything’s too quiet.

He remembers quiet—remembers staying up for days with terracotta dust staining his knuckles and only the crows for company. Endless nights, an eternity alone with himself and the gods meddling in his life. Building, building, building because it was all he could do to stay sane. Things are different now, or so he tries to tell himself.

But the quiet is the same.

“Talk,” Phil rasps, his throat bone-dry. He clutches the water a little tighter. “…Please.” His thoughts are too loud. He needs something to drown them out.

Fit doesn’t answer.

“Mate, please.” Phil’s voice is breaking. Rough as sandpaper, fragile as glass. “Tell me this is—fuck. Tell me this is real.”

The cage’s bars rattle louder in his chest. The bottle in his hand is empty.

“Fit…?”

Was it ever really there?

[delusionalculture-is]

Tw dereality maybe??

Delusional culture is believing everyone is fake. Everything. My friends are lying to me about what they do. They’re not real, they’re actors. My family is lying about what they do. Everyone on the street is performing a part. Nobody goes to school or work. They’re going off set to learn their next lines. Everything is fake

.