#TOOK 50 YEARS TO WRITE BUT FUCK IT ITS HERE NOW

[tokuteasings]

Dating - Ian Yorkland

Dedicated to Ghost Wife~! Wherever you are, hun, I hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: It’s literally been 60 years since I watched them but I did my best~! I miss Ian so much man.

Ian is the definition of a loyal partner. A man who you can take home to your parents and have him charm the ever living pants off of them. He’s the kind of partner who will not hesitate to show up to your workplace with not only food, but whatever essentials you needed for the day, or just shows up for the fun of it because he missed you – and brought along a bouquet of flowers because he thought of you! He’s rather spontaneous in this aspect and in a way, you two almost never leave the honeymoon phase at all! He keeps this love alive, for as long as it can go. After all, with the line of work he is in and how fate works…no one knows exactly when either of you two will kick the bucket; Ian knows this well so he wants to ensure that every single little moment he spends with you is positive.

In fact…it’s was a strange transition from friendship to lovers. You two were such in a comfortable state and it was obvious that Ian was flirting with you. However, there was this…little line that wasn’t going to be crossed anytime soon unless one of you made that leap. Unsurprisingly, it was Ian. You had noticed he wasn’t flirting as much anymore, or not at all, actually. He had lavished his affections upon you with gifts, words, and even finger kisses. You had to work up the confidence to ask if he was serious and he gives you this soft smile you haven’t seen out of him, his eyes sparkling with this sort of electric energy as he whispers to you, “All I’ve wanted was to have you as my partner.” in this honest and earnest voice, nervousness twinged at the edges. He’s hesitant to have let you known but he hasn’t felt like this in years now. He’ll be hurt if you didn’t accept his feelings but would take it with grace. But when you confirmed that you liked it him, Ian had to stop himself from celebrating with the loudest cheer right then and there! Instead, he merely takes your hand into his, runs his thumb over your knuckles and presses a kiss to them with a wink of his eye. “Then I’ll see you tonight?”

He never forgets to tell you that he loves you. Verbally, physically, through gestures…to someone like Ian, he shows love in multitudes of fashions. Ian’s primary love languages are: verbal, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. He’s proud of each and every crumble of affection he gives you and will not hesitate do to so in public. However, Ian has these sort of moments of sheer quietness as he thinks of what to say. He’s careful of his words when it comes to you, and it’s not a stifling quietness, but you know that he’s somewhere deep within his thoughts and needs something to help bring him out of them. But it’s during these hella quiet moments when he whispers you the most...saccharine things. Whispers of how much he loves you, mushy things. Ian always holds you close (hand or cuddling) whenever he does this. It’s like he never wants to let this go...and he won’t.

Ian is a loyal man and knows you won’t cheat on him or anything but he’s also not a jealous kind of person either. If anything, he’s pouty. He’ll dramatically talk off whoever’s ear is closest (Souji or Nossan) and complain, “Oh! My darling doesn’t love me anymore~!” and fake sob into their arms. Nossan gently has to pat his back and make him stop while Souji is just rolling his eyes and wants out. But there is no doubt that Ian is beyond clingy. He wants to cherish you until the sun dies and he is going to fucking do it. So expect him to send you constant texts about how much he misses you or the other Kyoryugers texting you to save them from Ian. 

Ian adores giving you nicknames! His faves are, “my treasure” “my darling” “my honey” and so on and so forth. He tends to make them up as he goes along and has a shit ton of them stored within that brain of his. The moments when he whispers them into your ear when you two are alone are perhaps...the best. He’s drawling out his English as he runs his hand up your leg and into your awaiting hand and kissing the knuckles with a gentle smile to his lips. It’s a simple set of nicknames with so much love poured inside and it makes you m e l t

Marriage is a goal for Ian but it’s also not a goal at the same time. There’s really no rush to head into it but there is this sort of mental image to Ian’s head about making you his and his alone. He will honestly wait for a couple of years, five or so, to pop the question. He’s nervous and you can tell because he took so much time to figure out the ring and how to propose. But he wants a family, he wants to settle down with you and share surnames and just exist in a space that exists for only the two for you and the two of you alone. Ian will wait for you once you’re ready but trust me when I say that marriage is going to be bliss for you two. If you two decide to have kids, Ian is the most dotting parent you have ever seen. It’s slightly overprotective but it’s more so that he wants his kiddos to be raised in a happy and healthy environment.

Arguments aren’t often but they do exist. They’re not heated but Ian wants to tell you his thoughts and will listen to yours. He wants to find solutions for this and if he’s getting angry, he tends to go off on his own to cool down. This rarely happens though and Ian normally wants to confront the problem right away. He’ll gently talk to you about it, having this sense of calm and wants to have this end in a way for all parties to walk away satisfied. He doesn’t half ass things and Ian rarely gets upset with anything. So these are pretty short and solved rather quickly.

PDA Monster. This fucker legit cannot keep his hands off of you and you know it. He’s always going to be holding your hands somehow, pressing a kiss to your knuckles and smirking at your flushed face. He loves wrapping his arms around you and kisses in public are also rather often. He tends to give you random surprise hugs and kisses outta nowhere and honestly it’s some of the best because his love had boiled and simmered until they reached a point where he cannot hide them! He has to hug you! Kiss you! He’s clingy as hell and will just fucking show up to your work just to get some free kisses. His favorite kisses to do in public are knuckle and finger kisses, because he’s such a tactile person, he has to show love to his other favorite method of affection - physical touch. 

Ian’s dates are fifty-fifty, not in a bad way but more so you two take turns on deciding what kind of things to do today. He’s just as happy to do indoor dates as outdoor dates. More often than not though, Ian will pick a date where the two of you will have fun. He tends to pick food places that you both like and will just spend the date feeding you! If he had to pick a date place that he wants, he would probably pick some sort of museum or botanical garden. You two can walk and talk, discuss the finer things in life and enjoy some quiet time together. He’ll probably say some cheesy as hell things like, “This piece of art is beautiful but not as beautiful as you.”

Dating Ian is a dream in itself. He always tends to end dates with a gentle kiss on the lips while holding your hand and then kisses the back of your hand. He’s the partner that wakes you up at 3am in the morning just to go star watching or comes by in the most ungodly hours of the day because he heard you were sick and made you soup. Ian is just someone who was probably made to be your soulmate and there is no other way around it or about it. But to be honest, the day he finds out that he wants to marry you is when you did something that clicked in his head. A lazy morning where he is reading a book and you’re on your phone, you let out a silly little laugh at a post and he glances over at you with this knowing smile and already is making plans to propose. But then he’ll reach over and kiss you, gentle, and whisper, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” and it’s probably a proposal in itself but...you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[carnyreborn]

Alright, let me talk about the MHA ending.

Spoilers here, let's go!

God, it's hard to put everything into... oppinions. I have been reading everything from MHA since chapter 50 and something. I've been keeping up with the series for a long time, and I'll say it's a personal favourite. The MHA world is one of the most fun I've ever had with any fiction and so many of its characters are beloved.

But the end pisses me off to no end.

Why? Simple: Horikoshi decided to finish the story tematically instead of focusing on giving everyone conclusions. What do I mean by that? Simple, the story is about a quirkless boy who finds power, but learns that simple heroism happens not on fighting, but on caring.

That's the entire point of the plot. The entire narrative exists in the manner that is shouting to the heavens that HEROES SHOULDN'T BE VENERATED, BUT EVERYONE OUGHT TO WORK TOGETHER FOR A GREAT FUTURE.

Which is actually a good message. I'm not surprised that this is the path they took, and I feel that the overall narrative theme is handled very well.

My problem is with the personal narratives. Izuku, Ochako, Todoroki, they all get... shallow endings. Izuku takes 8 fucking years of fuck all to get his chance to be a hero after saving the world. Uraraka's conflict about her own poverty, her love for Izuku, the love for Toga, those are never talked about. She 'makes a team with the girlies' and becomes 'fundamental for hero society' and then... That's it. Nothing about her family, nothing about her confessing - which, let me be clear, is fucking required if you are going to write a fucking romantic subplot - and now we are left behind. Izuku's whole stick from the start about becoming the number 1 hero never becomes true. And just... Ugh, it feels like Horikoshi just wanted to be done and not write anything conclusive about anyone. Just implications of endings. There's so much more, but tbh, if he isn't going to give a fuck, why should we? He has proven time and time again that he works great as a world builder, but as a character writer, he is shit.

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion (Part 2) Elturel's history and culture, the Hellriders, and Zevlor's paladin oath:

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR BG3.

These series of posts were originally one loooooong post— but apparently Tumblr has a character limit, and I found it; so now it's been split into several parts/posts.

(Part 1) Everybody hates tieflings, and how discrimination impacted a young Zevlor

((Part 2, this post, is for providing historical and sociological information on Elturel, paladins and their oaths, and the Hellriders. The third part is where the meat of my Zevlor analysis is.))

(Part 2.5)

(Part 3) Zevlor's actions during Act 1, an analysis of a man who is barely holding on.

(Part 4) Zevlor's actions during Act 2, an analysis of a broken man.

(Part 5) Zevlor in a romantic relationship.

(Part 6) Zevlor's actions during/ after the epilogue, not all endings are happily ever after— especially not for a tiefling.

(Part 7) Zevlor in a romantic relationship.

I don't think many bg3 players understand just how dedicated and loyal of a person Zevlor is. This ADHD hyper-fixation fueled multipart-thesis is meant to show how Zevlor's past is as tragic as any of the origin characters'/ Durge's. It's meant to show how horrifically broken Zevlor was when he "betrayed" the other tieflings. It's also meant to show that our beloved blorbo would probably be fervently obsessive if he was in a romantic relationship.

Most importantly: It demonstrates how our favorite man Zevlor was most likely a fanatical religious zealot my dudes. He was (probably) a part of the Faerûn equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition lite.

I have kept this as factual as I am able to. Please keep in mind that Baldur's Gate 3 plays it fast and loose with the DND/ Forgotten Realms canon and lore, on top of DND/ the Forgotten Realms itself regularly disregarding and changing it's own lore and canon. DND lore and canon as a whole is a mess. It has multiple universes that sometimes interact and are maybe separate from each other. Full disclosure; I've mixed 1e-5e lore together FUCK 5.5e, because parsing through what is currently considered canon is a nightmare. As far as I'm concerned, as long as a piece of lore was canon at some point in the past 50 years— it's fair game. @y-rhywbeth2 in this post has a more in depth disclaimer. Also please check out their headcanons and lore breakdowns, they're so good.

THIS PROJECT TOOK ME OVER A MONTH TO WRITE. I've tried to find all grammatical and spelling errors. I've tried to ensure that I've cited the correct sources in the correct places.

Before reading this way to long of a post please check out (the much more succinct) @gortashs-skidmark history of Elturel and Zevlor headcanons [alt].

______________________________________________________________

● (Part 1) Elturel's History and Culture:

[A/N: I refer to Elturel as a city, a city-state, and a realm. They don't mean the same thing, but I've used them interchangeably here because Elturel is simultaneously a city, a city-state, and a realm (known as Elturgard). Kind of similar to how the UK, England, and Great Britain are all used to describe the British Isles.]

Elturel was a port city located in the Western Heartlands along the Chionthar River.

"The river linked it... to Baldur's Gate on the Sword Coast... it was a center for agriculture and trade in the region, and was renowned for its elite mounted defenders, the Hellriders."

All Elturians were horse girls loved horses. Just as every child in Waterdeep leaned how to swim, every child in Elturel learned how to ride a horse.

"Elturians were practically raised in the saddle, learning how to ride and growing familiar with how horses behaved in any situation, even those that never became Hellriders. The downside was that, rightly or wrongly, some folk thought Elturians always smelled of horse."— https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Elturel#Culture_&_Society

Elturel claimed ownership over nearby cities and lands by declaring themselves their "protectorates"— thus becoming the realm Elturgard. (In other words they were holier-than-thou and patronizing in their attitude towards the cities they took over.)

"In the late 15th century DR, it was the capital of the realm of Elturgard... through a variety of excuses, Elturel had laid claim to the lands of its neighbors, placing them within "Elturel's Guard" as they called it... with the aim of bringing righteous judgment to all the Realms and "setting Faerûn aright"..."

Elturel was an authoritarian theocracy which was so pious that you could get into trouble for cursing in public.

"Elturel was known as a holy city... and it was ruled by its high priest, the High Observer of Torm… Even bad language and irreverent humor could draw the ire of authorities. Elturgard's laws were rigid, intolerant, and persecuted evil with inquisitorial zeal..."

Saying they had inquisitorial zeal was not a figure of speech, they actually had inquisitions.

"They ensured the city and countryside remained safe and well-policed... [through] rigid laws, intolerant attitudes, and inquisitions circa 1479 DR... Just rumoring about a possible band of thieves was enough to see one interrogated by zealous Hellriders."

Elturel had a 3 strike policy, where upon the 3rd strike a criminal would be sent to the mines— which never had a shortage of prisoners. (By reading between the lines, I'm assuming that the law did not have much nuance or account for the severity of a crime. i.e.: Littering 3x would get one sent to prison along side murderers.)

"Those who broke the law three times were sent to the Dungeon of the Inquisitor... they were punished and set to work mining tunnels. The inmate population was always being replenished."

They were even willing to risk a loss of trade revenue if it meant that outsiders wouldn't bring their immorality into the city.

"After the founding of Elturgard, the port officials who handled trade in the city... were overly righteous and handed exorbitant taxes and penalties to traders who showed even the slightest impiety, even banning them from setting foot inside the city. The caravans and riverboat convoys now feared to pass through..."

The official religion of Elturel was Torm, but almost any good or neutral aligned god was allowed to be worshiped.

"In the late 1400s, the city's official faith was in Torm the True, the state religion of Elturgard. However, the people commonly worshiped Torm, Helm, Lathander, Amaunator, and Tyr."

Baldur's Gate was a rivaling competing port city and moral antithesis to Elturel, who they were constantly on the verge of war with.

"Its chief rival now was Baldur's Gate... Elturel regarded Baldur's Gate as lawless and corrupt, and disapproved of its religious tolerance... There was much animosity between them… [but] neither was looking forward to an armed conflict."

Along with the city guard (more like a military than a city guard, but I digress) every citizen swore a magically binding oath, the Creed Resolute, to defend the city.

"...He [Thavius Kreeg] eventually made all Elturians swear the Creed Resolute, binding them by oath to defend the city... The Creed Resolute was a set of oaths and maxims sworn by the paladins of the Order of the Companion of Elturgard and the Hellriders of Elturel, and eventually all Elturian citizens... Citizens who were old enough to read were required to put a hand on the Tome of the Creed Resolute and recite the oath. Once done, their name magically appeared in the book, thus recording all those who'd sworn to follow the Creed."

Elturel's primary city guard/ military were known as

● (Part 2) The Hellriders:

Training started as young as 12. (Which is how old Zevlor was when he enlisted.)

"Enlistment and training could begin as young as twelve. People came to Elturel from other lands just to join the Hellriders."

They swore an oath not only to the defend the realm, but also uphold its moral codes of conduct.

"...Hellriders followed the Creed Resolute... This had them swear to serve the High Observer and the greater good, uphold Elturgard's law, and permit no difference in faith to come between them... among other codes of behavior. If a Hellrider overstepped the limits of law or proper behavior, their comrades would admonish them to "recall the Creed"."

Hellriders were revered— and as the protectors of Elturel they were held to an even higher moral standard than the average citizen. Children dreamed of becoming a Hellrider, but it was difficult to actually become one.

"It was said that every [child] of Elturel and the lands around dreamed of being a Hellrider some day. To call such a child a 'hellion' was... a compliment, marking one as having the courage and drive to ride the Hellriders' destriers...the Hellriders and the Companions were held in highest regard. Both inspired the people to be devout in both their faith and the pursuit of justice."

Hellriders were not only revered in Elturel, but in many other places too. They were more powerful than some other nations entire armies.

"...an elite cavalry unit who acted as the primary armed force of the city of Elturel in the Western Heartlands...The Hellriders helped Elturel establish and maintain civilization in these harsh lands. They were one of the most renowned and well-regarded military forces... For a city guard, they outmatched the armies of whole realms."

The Hellriders were named as such because of their loyalty to one another. They were family. **insert Fast and Furious family meme**

"The warriors were close-knit and exceptionally loyal, both to each other and to their commanders... It was said that a company of Riders had once ridden into the Hells themselves— namely Avernus, the first layer... to rescue one of their own, such was their great loyalty to each other... and from this story, the Hellriders were named."

Becoming a Hellrider was for life. They were the literal definition of ride or die.

"To be a Hellrider was a job for life, no matter how short it turned out to be... In the mid-1360s DR, there were no living ex-members of the Hellriders—too many had died in battle."

The only way to resign from the Hellriders was to be sent on a suicide mission. If they somehow survived the mission then they'd be publicly known as a deserter, considered a heretic, and subsequently banished from Elturel without a pot to piss in.

"Those determined to resign were given a final mission involving very difficult tasks, and even if they succeeded, and survived, they were stripped of their gear, exiled from the city, and named a heretic in the eyes of Helm, God of Guardians, for abandoning their post."

These are merely the conditions for an average Hellrider-- we haven't even touched the diehard paladin sect known as

● (Part 3) The Order of the Companion:

Before Zevlor's time in the Hellriders there weren't many paladins in their ranks.

"There were few paladins in the Hellriders. However, in the late 1400s, members of the Hellriders could aspire to join the Order of the Companion, a paladin knighthood..."

But by the time Zevlor joined there was the Order of the Companion. And they were religious fanatics. They didn't just swear an oath to the city. No, they went the extra mile by swearing an oath to Elturel/ Elturgard on their personal patron god.

"...A well-armored mounted knighthood of paladins who defended the city and wider Elturgard, swore oaths to the realm and shared its goals, even if the members did not all share faith in Torm. Courageous, righteous, and zealous, they were proud of their dedication to the cause of good, their clear morals, even their intolerance... Although the state religion of Elturgard was that of Torm, and they all swore oaths to the realm, the Companions themselves followed various different gods...Many of the Hellriders now aspired to join the Companions."

The Order of the Companion, despite being newer and thus having less established prestige than the Hellriders, were revered with an amount of reverence similar to the Helriders.

"In the late 15th century, Elturian citizens still often dreamed of joining Elturgard's paladin knighthood. This time, many succeeded. Inspired by the Hellriders and the Companions, the folk of Elturgard were typically devout in both their faith and the pursuit of justice. Both troops were loved and respected by the people... The Companions were seen as the undoubted champions of the people of Elturgard, with even the lowest-ranking ready to sacrifice their lives to protect them, and in turn the people adored them. Disrespecting the Companions and their Creed would incur the rage of the common folk."

I'm speculating here, but I would imagine that the former head Hellrider being a vampire lead to the Hellriders losing the people's unwavering trust. The Order members did not have this mark against them. Their PR was also probably boosted because joining the Order was easier than joining the Hellriders.

(They were maybe racists? Interestingly, on the wiki for the Order of the companion only humans are listed under the race(s) of those who are members.)

Also they were fascists. [A/N: In Faerûn choosing a patron deity is akin to choosing a political party.]

"The paladins swore to follow and uphold the Creed Resolute... {A/N: the same creed the the Hellriders later adopted and (along with citizens) swore to.} If one of the Companions... even questioned the policies of the realm (such as exactly why there was a temple to Bane in Soubar), their comrades would admonish them to "recall the Creed" and the matter was resolved."

The Hellriders and the Order of the Companion were not one and the same-- but they often overlapped (so much so that I have simply given up in trying to parse which is which), in a similar vein as the army and the marines. This reddit user described it best:

"Order of the Companion are Paladins. Hellriders is a general name for the Elturel cavalry. The Knights of the Companion are all Hellriders, but not all Hellriders are Knights of the Companion. It's a club within the club. Previously, Elturel was ruled by a "High Rider" who was the highest military leader of the Hellriders. After the Companion arrived, rulership changed to a "High Observer" who was the leader of the Church of the Companion..."

You may be wondering; what in the sweet hells is

● (Part 4) The Companion:

~50 years before the game Elturel was being swarmed by vampires after it was found that the (now former) leader of the Hellriders and the city itself, the aforementioned High Rider, was a vampire.

"...the High Rider himself was discovered to be a vampire, with a vast network of vampire spawn, charmed minions, undead allies, and sycophantic collaborators that surprised even the Hellriders. Now exposed, the undead infested Elturel..."

The Hellriders could do little to tide the flow of the undead.

"...and whatever victories the Hellriders won during the days, they lost sorely in the nights."

A priest of Torm (and later the ruler of Elturel) would perform a "miracle" and summon an entity known as the Companion.

"...Thavius Kreeg, then a priest of Torm, pleaded to any power to save his city, and... his reckless prayer was answered—by the archdevil Zariel with a deal to which he hastily agreed. Though the city would receive its much-needed aid, it would last but fifty years, after which Zariel would take the whole city and its people. Thavius also swore to serve her in all ways for all time..."

And so Zariel created the Companion— which was actually the Solar Insidiator that would cause the city to fall into Avernus (Hell).

"The Companion, also known as Amaunator's Gift, was a magical second sun that hovered over the city of Elturel in Elturgard… It was the symbol of the realm and of its defenders, the Order of the Companion. However, it was in fact the Solar Insidiator, a device created by Zariel, archdevil of Avernus, as part of a plot to trap and steal the city away to the Nine Hells."

The Companion was basically a 2nd sun that always shone in Elturel.

"The light of this second sun illuminated the land day and night, and suffused all of Elturel... it produced no heat. Creatures and things vulnerable to daylight in some way, or... destroyed by it, were... vulnerable to the Companion's light. Thus it prevented darkling races and monsters from assailing the city. Undead of all kinds found it painful or were even burned by it, while creatures of darkness could not even bear to look at the city."

AN:A tweet by Adam Lee, the lead creator of Decent into Avernus, confirmed that DiA took place in 1492 DR (the same year that BG3 is set in). Which seems to be a retcon of the previously canon year in which Elturel fell, 1494.

Don't feel too bad for Kreeg here, he's not like Wyll who made a selfless deal with a devil to save his beloved city and people. Kreeg was corrupt. He was why the people of Elturel unknowingly swore their souls to Zariel by having all citizens swear to the oath of the Creed Resolute.

"Taking the credit, Thavius was acclaimed as the savior of Elturel, and few would doubt his goodness or his intent. Only he knew the true origin of the mysterious second sun... [From this] Kreeg was raised to the position of High Observer himself some years later, following a crisis of leadership in Elturel and the unexplained but convenient disappearance of the likely successor, and his rival..."

Go read the wiki page on Zariel for her backstory and connection to Elturel and the Hellriders themselves, it's very fascinating.(LINK) Long story short: Fallen angel turned archdevil is salty about the Hellriders. She needs more souls for more power, and wouldn't you know it— there's a whole city that she already has some beef with she can claim from a desperate priest who's all to willing to sign it, and its people's souls, away to her.

That's it for part 2, I made (Part 2.5) Zevlor's Paladin Oath (link): because this post got too long.

Link to the other parts:

A deep dive into Zevlor's devotion series (master list)

[seokith]

book thief! ㅡ song eunseok

00 : start of the villian arc 😈

sypnosis : song eunseok and y/n didn't know of each other's existence till an incident happened on the 25th of july, summer 2023. after the little incident in the dreamscape bookstore, they had accepted that they were enemies, or that's what eunseok had assumed. they met again at the start of a new school year, and eunseok had wished that they wouldn't cross each other's paths but the universe planned otherwise . .

warning : beware of.. horrible writing 😢

ೀ wc ; 753 .

back ㅡ masterlist ㅡ next

finally, it was time.

as yn tapped on her phone screen, it reads out 16:50 pm meaning, there was enough time for her to reach the bookstore right on time. she quickly put on her shoes with a smile on her face as the thought of kageyama and kenma filled her head and she lowkey.. well.. giggled like a crazy person. even her younger brother who passed her gave her a weird look.. not that yn cared, of course.

once ready, she bolted out of her newly moved-in house and headed straight for dreamscape bookstore. she knew that if she arrived late, she wouldn't stand a chance of getting the newly released volume of haikyuu, so she ran as fast as an olympic sprinter. the hot summer air, mixed with a light breeze, kissed her face as she ran, making her look like she was in a k-drama.

the loud sound of the bookstore door being thrown open filled the air as yn barged in. mr nanami, sitting at the counter, frowned at the sudden interruption of his peace.

“yn, i told you to quit opening the doors like that. you’re going break it.” mr nanami scolded the young girl as she rushed to his desk.

“i’m sorry mr nanami, i wont do it again but do you still have t-the—“ her words were shortly cut off as she tried to catch her breath.

mr nanami raised an eyebrow at the state she’s in and once he understood, he couldn’t help but to chuckle and took the last remaining copy of the haikyuu 37th volume.

“holy shit! mr nanami are you being serious?!” she exclaimed with her eyes shining… literally.

“why? don’t want it? i can just take it back.” mr nanami responded with a bored tone, clearly trying to threaten her and of course, yn fell for it since.. its not his first time doing it.

“no, no! you did this last time and you actually did! no way in hell im letting you take it back when its in my hands.” she replied in a panicked voice.

just how bad had mr nanami traumatised her, geez..

as yn was about to leave, another loud opening of the door echoed through the store and mr nanami couldn’t help but to groan louder. seriously! the store is going to break its door one day.

“mr nanami, do you still have the copy of the new haikyuu volume?” a young man hastily walked over to mr nanami’s desk.

“no, she has it.” mr nanami answered curtly.

the young man snapped his head towards yn and swiftly moved to her location with a determined gaze and asked,

“can i have that book? i usually get it when it’s released here.”

“what? can’t you see its already in my hands? better luck next time.” yn answered sassily.

irritated with her tone, the young man stretched his hand and tried to take it out of her grasp but yn was quick enough to grip the book hard.

“give it to me!”

“no! i got it first, the fuck!?”

“im the one who always gets it first!”

“maybe its not your lucky day!”

and so it continues.. they kept that on going for god, knows how long and mr nanami was far more than irritated than before. ‘fine whatever, they’re teens,’ he convinced himself but he felt himself ticked when they bumped into a display in the corner.

“for the love of god, can you two take this outside!? be careful of that book! if any of you tears it, you guys have to pay at a full price, i dont care!” mr nanami suddenly burst from his desk.

“yn, eunseok, you’re both old enough to not act like kids so stop it! even haku who’s a five year old, behave better. out of my store, now.” mr nanami shook his head in exasperation.

sensing the young man who she knew by now is named eunseok distracted, yn quickly took the chance and ran out of the bookstore as quickly as possible.

“h-hey, wait! you book thief! wait up!” eunseok snapped out of his trance and went out of the bookstore seconds right after the girl blew off.

as he went out, he tried to take note of where yn ran off but to his luck, she couldn’t be founded. with an annoyed sigh, he scrambled to take out his phone to let out his frustration without forgetting to sigh,

“tsk, that book thief.. ill catch you when i can.”

taglist 🐾 @gacktsa @secretiny @molensworld

[dino--draws]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE NEARLY TWO HOUR ADMONITION + EXTRAS POWER POINT

I recorded it and me and my friends do wanna edit it and be silly w/ it so you may actually get to hear the presentation [and if you want the presentation itself just shoot me a dm on discord or smth] at some point but!

"Enter this freak! [image of McDoctorate]" "he looks like weird al.............."

"whats this guys name?" "FUNNY YOU ASK THAT [goes to slide that says 'whats this guys name?']"

"Damn! Sucks for Abbie, man I was invested." "I KNOW I WAS SO SAD SHE DIED." "This is a loss for women." "This was NOT a win for feminism."

"This is the REISNO Cannon!" "...thats a guy." "IGNORE THE GUY IGNORE THE GUY!"

"Failing to fulfil the causal loop causes a paradox. So let's cause a paradox! This is Dougall Deering, a bitchass motherfucker that nobody likes!"

"This is the significance of September 8th!" "...the queen......" "Queen Elizabeth died!! This isn't relevant!"

[Someone I do not know came in and sat down to listen for a bit]

"So you guys know Weirdmaggedon right?"

"And then the therapist dies and it all gets worse."

"So it'll come back, right? Right??? [long pause] There is no cannon." "Ha."

"So you may be wondering 'where the fuck did he go?' and now we finally get into Admonition."

"Because we can't use Narrative travel to jump genres we're writing the Fix-it Fic in the Hurt No Comfort AU. I don't know why I worded it like that in the slide." "That's my fault." "Nonono you're right there."

"They use it to terminate anomalies!!" "Not the ANTIKILL facility.........."

"It was all going dandy and functional until they did something stupid and hubris."

[Me calling the PH-GOS "the silly device"]

"Oh no! Who could've seen this coming!" cries the dumb fucks who should've realized this was an exercise in facility forty years ago."

[A second, new person appears to listen in]

"Say it with me now: YOU CAN'T KILL A LIZARD [several people do say it with me now]"

"Anti-idea???" "Yes, anti-idea."

"We're gonna PEMDAS the starfish!"

"Nice try guys, it didn't work but it wrote them a poem." "Awhhh,,"

"AND THEN THE UNIVERSE FUCKING ENDED!" "Oh it's over already?" "WOAAHHH"

"You may be wondering how the FUCK this is the first article in this series. Well you haven't seen NOTHIN' yet."

"I understand why this is making you insane." "Yeah no I get it."

"Is he [PHMD] a creative

"Director Johnathan King is fucking dead!" "Who??" "Don't worry about it he's not important." "He sounds like he is!" "The only thing you need to know is that he's dead."

"IS THAT JERMA?" "where?" "WHY IS JERMA THERE!" "THATS JERMA???" [me having to explain Jerma]

"Our budget took a hit! So we're gonna devote all resources to build this thing! For the budget!"

"Why are we doing this?" "Because we need to make a man un-die but no other necromancy is working."

"

"WHY IS HE A CAT??" "Don't worry about it." "These two don't have faceclaims to my knowledge so have Dir. Vehmoff looking at manga and catboy Dir. Asheworth (catboyism not relevant here, 120 directorism relevant here)." "He seems sad." "He is sad."

"SO ASHEWORTH ✨ EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATES ✨ HIM INTO VOTING IN X/MACHINA’S FAVOR USING HIS DEAD FRIEND AS LEVERAGE!" "whys theres a 50% opacity dog...." "don't worry about it!"

"If this man says it's safe, I don't know what else to tell you. DRAMATIC IRONY IS A LITERARY DEVICE IN WHICH--"

[Me going off script to briefly and VERY excitedly ramble about pataphysics]

[My one friend comparing generic vs protagonist vs archetypical to a/b/o and me threatening to end her life several times before moving on in the excited ramble and we all think its cool as fuck btw]

"I'm gonna read this [the 6747 imagion particles stuff] because I think it's cool and its my presentation."

"So? When's the other shoe gonna drop?" "Probably right now." "Yes!"

"So sometimes we taze it! Personnel are to be reminded that its totally dead and we totally aren’t lying to your face. The therapist we hired to taze the brain wants to be amnestizied of tazing the brain. We told her no. sorry Ngo." "Hah." "Ngo,,,,,,,,,"

"also his name is sparky...." "well thank god for that."

"It's becoming bad fanfiction." "They're all having sex." "No they're not, there's no sex in this." "We are reading very different bad fanfiction." "Yes we are!"

[My roommate googling 2747 bazongas]

"I wanna punt him [PHMD] like a football." "Good he deserves it."

"GET IN LOSER! We're killing gods!"

"What Dr. Blake is about to do has not been approved by the Vatican." [My friends loose their shit]

"That's right babey! It's the motherfucking starfish again!" "WHAT??" "Oh shit!!"

"PHMD’s plan is to create an Unbound Prometheus to help them find the God within the human mind. And not in the Frankenstein sense i mean he wants to unbind Prometheus and promote him as the God of Humanity. And everyone is just ok with this!?!?!?! [I am gesturing frantically and my voice is cracking like hell] Like they restructure the education system and everything to incorporate this and the Foundation starts to pray to Prometheus and all that???? its wild and so casually mentioned too, but here we go we’re doin this!!"

"oh my god he's the modern Prometheus." "HE'S THE MODERN PROMETHEUS!!!!"

"ignore the fact they've given people early onset dementia."

"the exhilaration of severing a finger from a squirming human hand (ie. transcendence). [Pause] WELL AIN'T THAT JUST PEACHY :D"

''that was the SHORT ONE?" "Short and sweet! Not simple and short." "Heeheheh, yeah."

"It's killing all AI!" "yaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!"

"SO NOW DISREGARD THAT LAST SLIDE! BECAUSE I LIED TO YOU!!" "why would you do that,,,?" "what????" "THERE'S NO VIRUS. IT'S ANOTHER GOD DAMN FOUNDATION MADE EIGENMACHINE. THE VIRUS IS A COVER UP." "why are you talking like a republican conspiracy theorist."

"That's really fucked up, thank you!" "ISN'T IT???"

"Please take note to behold the comedic amount of power that LOTUS needs."

"I love 28 nuclear reactors."

"So things go to shit pretty fast! Cause guess what? PHMD touched the damn machine."

"So yeah these guys have no right to be surprised when it starts interring all AI, even the most simplest of spellcheckers." "Not Grammarly!!!" "yup, LOTUS got it."

"isn't LOTUS itself an AI..?" [I turn my head slowly and grin at them in dead silence] "oh great thanks." "we'll get to that :) we'll get to that :)))"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

"Problem solved, right? [next slide] SO EVERYTHING GETS IMMEDIATELY WORSE!!!!"

"Lunar Area-23 is gone." "THEY TOOK THE MOON??" "you know who else takes the moon? Gru." "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT."

[my friends horrified look as I describe Hishakaku's hostile takeover]

"He demoted him and erased his mind, because the Foundation can just do that, by the way." "Oh! :D Ok! :D"

"WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID IT GETS EVEN WORSE? Because I lied to you again!!! OCI does not stand for Obtuse Computation Interface. It stands for Organic Consciousness Interface. THAT'S RIGHT! HISHKAKAU WAS PUTTING BRAINS IN JARS!"

"Not Head of Disinformation that's craaazy," "Yeah they just have that." "I wanna be CEO of lying."

"Wow fuck this guy."

[My one friend making a rainbow dash jar joke like right before the slide that has the rainbow dash jar joke]

"LOTUS is flipping its shit."

"THINGS ARE FINALLY DONE GETTING WORSE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!" "Woah!" "No :D!"

[group cackling at Hishakaku's takedown]

"Why'd they do that???" "because they're fucking fascists!!"

"Oh and by the way the remains of LOTUS have been salvaged for Project ADMONITION." "Ggrrrreeat!!"

"Admonition Episode 5, SCP-7243, Existential Abatement." "I like that its gay :}" "It IS gay!"

"What if the timeloop happened in June."

"He also shows Ngo -- the therapist who was tazing the brain earlier you remember her? -- the item he wanted to give Phillip. A magic box, that makes it seem like the object you’ve put in it vanishes. But there’s no magic at all, just a drawer, just a trick." "Oh boy" "Nnnnnno way." "Wow isn’t that a specific detail I sure hope that isn’t a framing device."

"Dougall asks Amelia what the hell he should do. She tells him three words--" "kill yourself." "No more wast-- no."

"Esoteric waste???" "sent it into space." "we can't do that :("

"You killed my husband." "Yeah that's an actual line in the article." "SDKFJSHDKHFD"

"Oh right yeah there's an SCP object in this article."

[my friends thinking DePLExA is really cool]

[Me pausing for two seconds each time 'waste' pops up]

"They are dumping empty containers into an empty pit. Because if they don’t it’ll cause a paradox. [Pause] You ready to cause another parado-- hold your conceptual horses actually because there's more to explain."

"Esoteric gift horses and their non-existent mouths."

"AND THEN IT ALL GOES TO SHIT! [to the tune of 'and then along came zeus']

"Wait September 8th again??" "It's fucking happening again."

"A magnitude 8.5 earthquake hits." "Ttttttthats not good."

[My friends mounting horror as I just read through the EE-7243 event entirely]

"So it was like putting a lid on a burning pan. But the burning pan is an acromatic abatement facility about to esoterically explode and the lid is a bomb that creates a forcefield"

"Oh hey! We found Amelia!" "Oh!!!" "She's not ok, but she's alive!" "That's a lot!!!" "yeah!!!"

[periodic sounds of me excitedly stimming while talking]

"We're living out of spite!" "that's soooooooooo real," "she's so me!" "I love how she hates her brother-in-law more than she loves her husband." "YEAH KDFJGHDFJKG"

"But they don't have one [O5-9]..." "oops." "Whoops!!"

"GUESS WHAT DOUGALL TURNS AROUND AND DOES? AFTER BEING TOLD NOT TO TAKE SHORTCUTS NOR MIRACLE CURES??? GUESS WHAT HE DOES?" "takes a shortcu--" "HE TAKES A MOTHERFUCKING SHORTCUT!"

[group confusion over Amelia and Dougall marrying eachother]

[Group freakout over Dougall being the entity that killed Phillip]

"What is waste? I guess you finally figured it out, Dougall." "OH MY GOD KDJFGHDKFJGD" "THAT'S HILARIOUS." "THIS IS AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE ARTICLE."

"wwwwait a second, a timeline being cut off from the coalition and the RCT? This is familiar..." "that fucking rubik's cube." "the cube!!"

"He fucked around just to get this timeline kicked out?" "He's throwing for content!!" "He should get twitter cancelled."

"Operation LAST STRAW success--" "Hehehehe"

"Because one of the people who writes this taunts me on tumblr and I go insane on the regular."

"She's from the paradox timeline as well," "how'd she get outtie :(((" "We don't know yet!"

this was 101 slides

"why did y'all let this guy cook??" "this freak cannot handle his trauma in a healthy way."

"He might be trying to become the LOGICIAN and kill his author. But also the LOGICIAN is the author so he may be trying to kill the LOGICIAN." "This is just like Betty from adventure time."

"This powerpoint has DLC content!"

and now my friends wanna read the actual Admo articles I am kicking my feet and giggling fr fr fr fr fr fr fr ehehehehehehehe. my brainworms.................... god im so happy rn you have no idea this is all so cool to me and im so happy my friends thought it was neat,,,,,

[spiderculechronicals]

Do yourself a favor and allow yourself to handwave aside scenes are important to move on but you don't know how to write out as a scene. It breaks up the endless dialogue! And then you can jump back in when you know what they're saying (and I guess if it needs a rewrite later you have notes on what goes there too)

Anyway. My Wade is a sweetie. Him and Peter 3 have been together so long that they really have that taking on each other's traits thing down, to the ultimate good because Wade is 80% less murdery and 50% less insecure, but of course Peter 3 is 50% more chaotic and filthy mouthed and 20% more Fuck The Man.

Scene is set at Peter 1's Aunt May's place on the day of their first meeting.

____

While Peter 1 and 2 were napping, Peter 3 and Wade chatted with May, talking about their universe and Wade’s experience of the last year and a half and their tentative plans for the future that are clearly still developing. They ended up talking the most about the May from their universe, what she was like, how much they were both going to miss her. Wade also ended up recalling a little more detail about his experience with the TVA and their assurance that pruned timelines ceased existing in a completely painless way that the inhabitants didn’t have time to register. Cold Comfort. Wade also mentioned that he hadn’t gotten around to telling May that Peter was missing, so she probably blipped in the middle of planning his birthday party and not worried sick fearing the worst. Peter 3 dissociated for a full minute at that revelation, but when he came around to a hug on both sides and a cold washcloth to the face he said that was a relief at least. He assured Wade that he wasn’t just saying that, that it was always the plan to protect her in the face of this kind of thing, and the time frame of a couple days was well within the pre-agreed limits. May sighed, sadly wishing there was a picture or something to remember his May by.

Wade blinked and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone with its glittery unicorn phone case and subtly inappropriate anime charms, and flipped into the photo gallery. “Uh… so… turns out technology in this universe is pretty compatible. Barely had to jailbreak the sucker, just… whacked in a new SIM card. Here ya go, Petey. Hah… good thing I left it charging that night they blew me up, right?” He handed the phone to Peter 3, who took it carefully, tearing up at the sight of several pictures and even video taken from their regular get togethers. “Careful swiping through to quickly, our, uh… yanno… special pics are also on there. Helped out a lot!”

Peter 3 sniffled and gripped him tightly enough that something cracked. “Can I like, double propose to you, is that a thing?”

“Oof! Careful sweetums I think you scared her a bit, let go slowly the arm might be a little wonk…”

“… Fuckshit!... sorry sorry sorry…!”

“No worries! This is nothing, healing factor’s gonna clear that up in less time than it takes to toast a pop tart. Did you know you’re not supposed to put them in the toaster? Screams thing we put on there so we don’t get sued but we know you’re gonna do it anyway to me, who the hell doesn’t put pop tarts in the toaster?” Wade chirped lightheartedly. “Like Q-tips. Shut up and let me have my ear-gasm.”

“Oh! … you know you really shouldn’t put q-tips in your ears…” May said.

“Ahh… yeah probably that’s also being taken care of by the healing factor now that you mention it… Don’t listen to Deadpool, kids! Listen to Spiderman. Always been my motto.”

Peter 3 laughed through his distress.

[missn00tson]

Am I the only person that hated s4 of tua?

Look, i am a big fan of the series, and I was so happy when the new season came out.

And s3 was a bit long for me, in the sense that some scenes were boring, so I wasnt too unhappy with a shorter season.

But what was this

Spoilers for The umbrella Academy season 4!

First of all, the whole Five and Lila relationship.

They are platonic friends, like siblings. Who thought it would be a fun idea to make them romantic all of a sudden?

"Oh, but they got stuck in time for 7 years its only natural"

You have to be shitting me.

I've been celibate for over 7 years, you think I'd date my brothers WIFE if we spend time tgt for those years? No. Fuck no.

It doesnt even seem to click with Five's personality, because he's so insanely loyal and caring towards his family. He would not do that, if we were to follow his personality from s1 to 3.

This brings me to Ben.

I have never been the biggest sparrow Ben fan, I'll admit that. I've always been an umbrella Ben fan and sometimes I wished sparrow Ben was more like him.

So you can imagine, I was happy when he started to appear more caring for Jeniffer.

Until they totally switched up his character.

Yes, he was influenced by the bond (which reminds me of the whole nesting situation of the last episode, which I must admit was very entertaining) which made him more loving yadaydaydaya. But everyone shows their love in a different way, sparrow Ben' type of loving is in no way shape or form sweettalking and grossly cutesy forms of affaction.

You might think so (the writers apparently did) but I surely disagree.

So his personality was, as you might guess, also out of the window.

His talking brings me to my next point. The dialogue.

I'm not sure if its just me, but it was so.goddamn.messy.

It was no dialogue, it was just a bomb of one liners aiming for nothing.

It had no feeling, no personality. Its as if the writers saw the one liners we liked, pasted them into an ai engine, and let it spit out 100 new ones to fill the movie.

I would like to give specific examples, but it happened all.the.time. If you dont believe me, watch the last episode. The only in character person was Victor (even though he's not my bestie, I loved that they stayed true to his character) with wanting to save his siblings, standing up to their father, wanting to keep his peace but always choosing to help his siblings no matter how much they hurt him in the past.

He was the only one who felt like the same person as the other season. Even Reggie was a goddamn mess (and thats something to say about that uptight bastard)

Now this part is purely personal. But the plot? The scenes? The entire construction was such a mess.

First of all. 7 years in that station? 7years? Youre telling me that super smart old man Five didnt think to look at those lines first before stepping in that train? You think "I must know everything and enything about everything and anything" Five didnt look up, took a good glance at those letters and knew. "Mhmm. Thats that weird writing my father used. How bout I try to TRANSLATE it BEFORE i step on this mystery train?"

If you think him stepping on a random train, not even looking at the map he picked up is in charcater? Sincerely, quit shitting my dick cuz no way you think that.

And then him giving up on finding his siblings? He was in an apocalypse for what? 50 years? And he always kept the stupid eye, thinking it might save his siblings. And now, here he is, giving up on them cuz he' a lil lost in daddy's train station?

Babes, you cant be serious.

Im aware that this post is very opinionated, and perhaps negative, but thats just how itll be. But if you feel offended by anything here, I do apologise. I love the series aswell, but his season, felt more like a 12 year old' followup story of season 3 (and that is not to say that 12 yo' cant write, cuz some of them r amazing, but you get the idea) and I cant believe they actually funded this.

And that is not to start about the decisions they made. Ben making them drink the marigold? Five not just going back to that moment if he could time travel (which he coulve bcz him and Lila went back to the "present" which is 7 years earlier than when they were stuck). Then stop them from drinking the Sake/Marigold. Merging the marigold with Jennifer and everything is fixed? Bcz they didnt have their powers anymore?

Either way

I might follow up on this, I might not.

But I do hope that some share my opinion, even if many dont.

Bye loves!

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision and the jury’s problem (but mostly the jury’s problem)

Ah, the Eurovision national juries. I love them so much. My love is so big that, since I started this tradition of writing a post about Eurovision, I’ve always included one paragraph to openly express my love for them and, not surprisingly, my love took the shape of FUCK YOU JURY.

So this year gave me the final push to do more research and finally give them the post they deserve, in which I will finally explain why they do more harm than good and are generally useless.

If that’s what you wanted to know, you can close the post now, thank you for your time. But if you want to know why I think the jury is useless, then allow me to expand more and properly explain myself.

_______________________

The jury has always been part of the show!

Yes, but now always with the same power.

Let’s do a bit of history: Eurovision started in the 50s, right after the end of WW2. TV was starting to grow stronger and with the birth of the EBU, they were searching for a TV program that could’ve involved and united all nations.

And so, an Italian journalist said: “Hey, here in Italy we have this sick song competition called Sanremo. We can make something similar, but every European country should send an artist.”. Marcel Bezençon, general manager of the EBU at the time, liked the idea and, after a few meetings, it was decided to make this music competition that will become Eurovision.

So yes, this is how Eurovision started. It’s because of Sanremo. It’s because of Italy. My country might do stupid shit, but we are still able to do something good once in a while.

The first edition counted 7 countries: Belgium, France, West Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, The Netherlands and Switzerland. Four of them will become the “Big Five”, because they are the ones that put more money into this competition. Other countries will slowly join in.

The jury was first introduced because, well, there was no possible way to call every single person who was watching the show. The TV was still in its infancy, let alone the global communications, so of course there was a jury. IT was the only way.

However, over time the televoting system was born and it started to improve. In 1997 five countries used it for the first time and from the year after all countries could use it. The jury was left in the back and used only under exceptional circumstances when televoting was not possible.

This lasted from 1997 to 2009. Then from 2010 it started the 50/50 system.

So yes, the jury has always been part of the show. But at first it was present because it was the only way to choose a winner, then it was pushed in the back, only to regain more power in the last 10 years.

But hey, you may ask: since Eurovision has been inspired by Sanremo, maybe this is how Sanremo voting system works too, right?

Nope. We are Italians, so we should make the most complicated voting system ever. Sanremo is currently articulated in five evenings and every evening has different juries and different ways to vote. I won’t go into too much detail because it’s bonkers, but I can tell you that:

1) There are multiple juries: the public, a jury made of 150 accredited representatives and the opinion poll jury. This one in particular is a group of people chosen by the national public broadcasting company RAI (which broadcasts Sanremo) out of a sample of habitual music users and selected according to criteria of age/geographical origin.

So no, the system is completely different and yes, this system is evolving too, because the opinion poll jury counted 1000 people last year, this year only 300 and who knows how many there will be in the future.

2) The final result is the sum of all three votes: 33% of the final voting is made of the representative’s jury, 33% of the opinion poll jury and 34% of the televoting. So even if by just one measly point, the televoting is the most important one out of the three.

Is this system perfect? No, it doesn’t work either and it’s fucking complicated. But at least it acknowledges that the public deserves to have more power than the juries. And there is also more than one jury, which at least allows a wider vision of things.

_______________________

The jury is here because it brings more variety!

Aww, how adorable.

I specifically searched for every single winning song from 1997 to 2023, thus including both the years without jury (1997-2008) and the ones with jury (2009-2023). I checked which is the musical genre of every winning song.

Do you want to know which genre won the most? Pop.

Do you want to know how many times a pop song won in the years without jury (including europop and latin-pop)? 9 times.

Do you want to know how many times a pop song won in the years with jury (including folk-pop, dance-pop and electro-pop)? 10 times.

Please, tell me more about the variety the jury brings. Can’t wait to hear it.

_______________________

The jury is here because it brings variety 2: Englishvision

Europe: a country with a shit ton of languages and we use always the same one for singing.

Do you want to know how many times we had a winning song that wasn’t in English from 1997 to 2023? 7 times and in two of them there were English parts.

The first three winners come from the years without jury (Dana International - "Diva", Ruslana - "Wild Dances", Marija Šerifović - "Molitva"). The others come from the years with jury and my god we had to fight tooth and nail to have them:

Jamala - "1944"

Salvador Sobral - "Amar Pelos Dois"

Måneskin - "Zitti e buoni"

Kalush Orchestra - "Stefania"

Those are people’s winners. Well, except for Jamala who no one wanted as a winner, because the public wanted Russia and the jury Australia. However, let’s leave it in for now: it’s a particular case I want to talk about later.

What I want to let you know is that, in order to have these winners, the public had to do a massive collective effort to give them enough points to overcome the jury - especially the last two. And if you know them, it’s because they are in the top 10 list of the public’s favorites.

But what if I tell you we could’ve had two more songs in their native languages on this list?

In 2015 the public’s favourite was Italy with Il Volo. An Italian song, genre classical music. It lost against Sweden’s pop song.

In 2023 the public’s massive favourite was, as you know, Finland. A Finnish song, genre hyperpop/industrial metal. It lost against Sweden’s pop song.

What a strange coincidence, isn’t it? Both times a song in a native language lost against an English pop song. Both times, the public’s favourite lost because the jury’s favourite won. Both times it was against Sweden.

Please, tell me again about the fairness of this system and how much variety it brings.

________________________

The jury is here because the eastern countries all vote for their neighbors!

Just because the western countries all hate each other’s neighbours, it’s not a valid reason to blame the eastern ones for that.

Also, hey, wasn’t that a music competition? Why should we even care about which country the winning song comes from? Shouldn’t the jury think just about the music? Please tell me more about the impartiality of the jury.

Another thing: maybe it’s just me, but I supposed everyone studied math or had a basic knowledge of how many countries are in Europe. Well, I did both for you and if we divide Europe in half, we will have more o less 21 countries on the west and 26 countries on the east (I am including Australia in the west).

In my world, 26 is a bigger number than 21. So if the east slightly wins more times than the west is, well, understandable. The probability for them to win is higher, because there are more artists from those countries and so they have more chances to bring the winning song. I don’t think it’s so difficult to understand.

Maybe the reason why the western countries win less is not because “the easterns votes for their neighbours”, but because the westerns do not take the competition seriously and send shitty songs. Why Italy rarely gets a bad position? Because we care about music and we want to send something good. Why the UK fails a lot of times? Because they don’t care enough to send a good song. They are both Big Fives and they both put money on this show: the only difference is that one cares a bit more than the other. So instead of blaming the east, maybe it’s time to start bringing more decent songs.

And this “the east wins more” is even more stupider, if you look at the countries with the highest number of victories: Ireland, Sweden, the Netherlands, the UK, Luxembourg and France.

In my world, those countries are all in the west. I know we all hate each other, but knowing when our rivals are on a map would be a good start.

Do you want to know why this stupid theory exists? It’s all because of the years without jury. It’s because in the years 2001-2008 we had this series of winners:

Estonia

Latvia

Turkey

Ukraine

Greece

Finland

Serbia

Russia

Since they are all in the east, they thought these countries were all voting for each other’s. That’s it.

I don’t know how they justified Ireland winning 3 times in a row (1992-1994) in their minds but hey, maybe that’s why I’m not a member of the EBU.

_________________________

The jury doesn’t have a favourite!

Very cute.

Do you want to know which are the countries with the most victories in the years 1997-2023? Here is a very funny list:

Israel: 2 times

1998 (no jury year) with Dana International - "Diva" (public’s favourite)

2018 (jury year) with Netta - "Toy" (public’s favourite)

Denmark: 2 times

2000 (no jury year) with Olsen Brothers - "Fly On The Wings Of Love" (public’s favourite)

2013 (jury year) with Emmelie de Forest - "Only Teardrops" (public’s favourite)

Ukraine: 3 times

2004 (no jury year) with Ruslana - "Wild Dances" (public’s favourite)

2016 (jury year) with Jamala - "1944" (not public’s favourite, but highly appreciated by the public)

2022 (jury year) with Kalush Orchestra - "Stefania" (public’s favourite)

Sweden: 4 times

1999 (no jury year) with Charlotte Nilsson - "Take Me To Your Heaven" (public’s favourite)

2012 (jury year) with Loreen - "Euphoria" (public’s favourite)

2015 (jury year) with Måns Zelmerlöw - "Heroes" (jury’s favourite)

2023 (jury year) with Loreen - "Tattoo" (jury’s favourite)

I don’t know you, but I notice two victories that made the public unhappy because both times the jury’s power overcame the public’s power. How weird it happened for the same country that won three times since the 50/50 system has been introduced.

Sure, the first victory was wanted by the public, but the other two were against the public’s will. And please allow me to repeat it again because this is what upsets me the most: both times an English pop song won instead of a song in a native language with a different musical genre.

And what makes these two victories even more undeserved, is that in general the winner has always been the public’s favourite. In 27 years the public’s favourite won 23 times and two times it was a public’s appreciated artist (Jamala, Duncan Lawrence).

The only two times public’s favourite didn’t win, it was a Swedish artist with a massive push from the jury that made it impossible to defeat it.

But hey, maybe this point is a bit unfair. After all, it’s not Sweden’s fault if they learned what the jury likes and keep sending the same kind of song to get their votes. Maybe I am just jealous: I mean, my country basically invented Eurovision and yet we’re not able to exploit this show to win all the times? Gosh, we’re useless :P

The problem is not Sweden’s cleverness. The problem is that the jury always uses the same criteria, so one country has been able to recognize and exploit them. In a democratic world with a fair competition, the organizers of said competition would say: “okay, maybe we should change the criteria all the time, so no one would be able to use them and the jury will remain impartial”. But I suppose this was a too difficult choice for the EBU.

Or maybe they just own Sweden some money, who knows. I really have no idea.

_____________________

The jury is here because otherwise people’s votes would be political!

Oh, so hilarious.

This is the list of the winning entries by jury and by the public:

Until the recent years, public and jury agreeded on the winner and when the public chose a winner, it was jury’s second choice. So if the public’s votes were political back then, the jury’s votes were political as well.

Only in the last editions jury and public started to truly diverge and unless I missed something, Israel just had a catchy song, Italy’s victory had nothing political behind, Ukraine’s victory was a massive collective justifiable effort to say “fuck you” to Russia and people just like Finland’s song more. So, again, nothing political behind.

However, there are also two very interesting cases, the only ones in which the winner was a country no one chose as favorite:

2016: public’s favourite: Russia - jury’s favourite: Australia. Winner: Ukraine

2019: public’s favourite: Norway - jury’s favourite: North Macedonia. Winner: the Netherlands

Do you want to know why the jury’s favourite of 2016 is Australia? I don’t know. What I know is that Australia joined Eurovision in 2015 and it was supposed to be just a one time thing, so they were automatically qualified for the finals. But in 2016 they joined like everyone else and had to make through the semifinals and... well, it wouldn’t be nice to send back home a country that just joined. I am not saying these two things are related, but it’s a bit of a weird coincidence, isn’t it?

Do you want to know why the jury’s favourite of 2019 is North Macedonia? I don’t know. What I know is that on June 2018 the country changed its name to the Republic of North Macedonia. And, you know, it’s nice to hear it more times, just to leave an impression on people’s minds. Again: I am not saying these two things are related, but it’s a bit of a weird coincidence, isn’t it?

Okay, let’s leave the tinfoil hat theories on the side. Do you really want to know where the “the public’s vote is too political” thing comes from? It comes from Jamala winning in 2016. Because Russia has already started with their bullshit in Crimea and Jamala’s song (despite not specifically talking about that invasion) was a reminder of that situation. And so everyone blamed the public for this victory and said that “the public was influenced by the actual political situation”. All while Jamala was second favorite of both the public AND the jury. So, again, if the public was biased, the jury is biased as well.

Actually, in her case the jury is a lot more biased than the public, because the public’s favorite was Russia! So, well, who is the political one now?

The truth is that the public is made of people and of course people will be influenced by the situation in which they live. But same goes for the jury: the jury is also influenced by the current situations, both Eurovision-related and world-related. So it’s totally unfair to blame the public for having a heart and a mind and for their will to choose a song over the other - especially when they are not influenced by the world situation (like in 2016) or when they are as it happened in 2022.

And, honestly, I’d much rather prefer people choosing a winner because of a fucking war, than a bunch of people choosing their winner for reasons that will benefit them only.

______________________

The jury is made of experts and they give their expert opinion!

Awesome. Now explain to me how can you objectively choose the best song between a pop one, a folk one, a metal one and a rock one. Tell me which universal criteria will you apply.

Voice? But each genre requires a different kind of voice. An opera singer has a powerful voice, but growl music requires a powerful voice as well - heck, it’s even more complicated than opera, so it should be more praised than that! I mean, try growling without sounding like an idiot: it’s immensely hard. How can you decide which is better in an objective way? Do you just focus on which is more difficult to perform? But then it’s unfair to the pop singers, who also have good beautiful voices. How can you objectively choose the best?

Performance? But every genre requires a specific kind of performance. You can’t put an energetic performance on a ballad or slow dancers on a rock song. If two performance are equally beautifully ftting for their music genre, how can you decide which is objectively better?

Lyrics? But not everyone knows the lyrics of all songs and some lyrics might have multiple meanings or refer to particular aspects of the country’s culture, so you might not understand how beautiful they are. How can you choice which one is better, without knowing all these details?

Overall impression of the song? That’s not even an objective criteria, try harder.

The truth is that you CANNOT choose between different songs and different genres in a universally objective way. You will always be influenced by your own preferences and musical tastes.

Do you want to know how these criteria could’ve worked? If everyone brought the same song. Then okay, you can objectively make your choice: after all, we are talking about one genre and one song. In all other cases, this criteria makes zero sense.

And before you say “the jury needs to recognize the good singers”: people have ears. If a singer is bad, people can hear it by themselves. Polish people proved very well that they can recognize a very bad singer from an extremely good one and I doubt the entire country of Poland is made of musical experts or that everyone likes dance-pop/electro-industrial music.

Same goes for all the people around the world who praised Jann and said Blanka is terrible: I doubt they are all music experts or Polish. Maybe they just have ears.

Sure, some people have better taste than others, I don’t deny that. But considering that all humans have ears and a brain, I don’t think they need someone else to tell them that yes, this thing you like is good or no, that thing you don’t like is bad. Maybe they can understand it by themselves.

And if the problem is that the public doesn’t have a taste, then give them the means to acquire said taste. Let experts give more insights about an artist: they could explain why their voices are good or bad, why their performance works or not and why the lyrics are complex or simple. Let the public take a decision, instead of treating them like toddlers who should be spoon-fed.

______________________

The importance of the public

What makes this 2023 victory so empty, is that it has nothing Eurovision stands for. It’s not the victory of an unknown, talented artist. It’s not a victory the majority wanted. It’s not a victory that sends a good message.

It’s the victory of mainstream and safety. It’s a victory that doesn’t look forward and doesn’t try anything new, because it prefers to rely on the same old stuff. It’s a victory of nostalgia, industries and brands.

And if it hurts so much, it’s not just because the public’s will has never been so blatantly clear about who they wanted to win, but also because after two years in which we had native languages and new genres on the top, we were really, really hoping for a switch towards something different.

I don’t blame the past artists for not trying more, the years were different. But we are in the 20s of the year 2000 now. We are more open to different people, genders, sexual orientations. We don’t have to play safe anymore, not in a world that is moving forward. We can have different winners, we can have different cultures and we can have different genres.

I really hope that this year will teach something, not just to us, but to the EBU and to Europe. If things will change, good. And despite my harsh words, I am okay if the jury stays: it has always been present, after all, even when pushed in the back. So if we have to keep it, let’s keep it.

But it’s time to give them less power. It’s time for a 30/70 or a 20/80 system. 50/50 is just not acceptable anymore.

Or, as the 2023 public’s winner said:

Thank you for your time and please, keep support your winners.

(Clips from THIS video)

[risingshards]

Writing Year in Review 2024 Part 1: Wins and Defeats

Doing this a bit earlier than the 31st but I pretty much have the gist of things. On paper this should be a year I should be celebrating writing-wise. I got my first print book deal (for a nonfiction junior book not like big doorbuster fantasy deal but still!) and my first premium web novel in Reborn in a Fighting Game with My Rival.

I should be doing a victory lap but I just feel like I failed. In my most recent meeting with my writing workshop someone said I must be feeling great with the year I had, but internally I was like, I don't feel like I had a great year. I'm gonna try to weave in some good vibes but this is gonna be yet another mopey post in a year filled with em I have a feeling.

✅ for wins and ❌ for things I feel like I failed on.

✅I was able to keep up with a bunch of projects at once. While writing Reborn, I kept writing Rising Shards, and took on an extra challenge in trying for an action fantasy web novel contest in Lost Hero. A half point off on this because juggling everything put me very far behind and keeping up with writing and work was tough.

❌Readership woes. I don't want to sound ungrateful at ALL for the wonderful amazing and kind readers I have, but on a sheer numbers level this year was rough. Watching Rising Shards lose 50% or more of its readership hurts, and I'm not sure what exactly I did, or if I did anything, but you know I'm gonna overthink it.

I had a month of short interlude chapters to give myself break last January and views fell off, maybe that did it. Maybe the arc I chose to pursue this year wasn't the right one. Maybe RS is just too long now and people fell off and there's no hope of getting them back with the kind of story I want to write. Maybe I'm not getting featured anymore which boosted my views. Maybe I just fucking suck at convincing people to read my work. I would guess it's a mix of everything there but I have this need to keep going with Rising Shards even though it's super duper long now. It's my comfort series and they're my comfort characters, and I'm a firm believer in a primarily slice of life series that goes really long being a potential source of comfort for others. I still have a ways to go on it so I hope I can get my numbers up so I don't get depressed about it every so often.

✅I wrote a nonfiction book that will be in print soon. This project was so tough to work on and I don't know if I'll share it on here since it was through a local publisher, but soon I'll have a book that I wrote in print.

❌The Lost Hero. My action fantasy contest entry didn't get much traction and didn't advance in the contest. It was such a sprint getting it done but sad to have come short, and in hindsight thinking about it, I made so many mistakes writing it that I didn't really deserve to even make it to round two.

❌Projects I wanted to get to but couldn't. While I did get three going at once, there was still a bunch I didn't make as much progress on as I wanted. I've been trying to do a Patreon exclusive series forever but made zero progress on that (and made negative progress on my Patreon sigh), and had some other series I wanted to work on.

✅Reborn in a Fighting Game with My Rival. My big win of the year, a dream come true. I entered this series into Tapas' romance web novel contest last year and it made the top 50 and was picked up. I am 95% done with the series and am writing the ending now (Obligatory note that I want to do a Season 2 or a sequel someday), and it has been such a pleasure to work on even when it got tough. The staff from Tapas has been so cool and supportive and understanding of the writers and I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity. The day it launched will forever be a special day to me.

So more losses than wins. The wins were pretty big, but the losses sting really hard. Overall, I should be proud of how I did last year, juggling three series, having my first premium series, etc. but I feel more disappointed in myself than anything. I hope I can use these feelings to push forward and pull something amazing off, but for now I feel like I tripped and fell into the trenches and have to figure out how to get back on my feet.

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

[thelibrarylesstrektraveled]

Breathe Free (Part One)

Summary: You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, thank you very much! Dean knew that, he also knew better. He’d seen you sick plenty of times in the past five years, but this was different. This was much more than a cold, but you were so stubborn about doctors! Dean Winchester isn’t about to let you slip away, even if it means going against your wishes. He only hopes he’s not too late!

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Dean x Reader, Dean x You

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, Sick!Reader, Hospitals, Kissing, fluff

Word Count: 5447

One Shot - Two Parts

Author’s Notes: I have been sick with Covid for a month. Well… down sick for 2 ½ weeks and recovering my stamina for 2 more. Its been a real bitch. Plus my disabled mother has it now. This is following a nervous breakdown I had in June. Writing has been my passion and my mental health balm, but I’ve not been able to produce anything in months. So this… this is a fucking triumph!! I’m still working on all my other WIP, so please stick around. I’ll get there… eventually :) I’m hoping to finish part two shortly and post in a week… ish.

Thank you all for the continued support! Masterlist Breathe Free (Part Two)

You were going to kill him.  Honestly.  If this fucking cold didn’t finish you off, you were going to make it your life’s mission to succeed where every bloody monster, demi-god, angel, demon, and creator of all had failed.  Ridding the world of Dean Winchester would be a public service at this point.  The church would canonize you for this!  There would be bank holidays and parades in your honor.  Maybe an annual postage stamp?  A drink named after you at the local bar, at the least. 

     Of course, you’d have to live long enough to carry out your plan for fame and fortune.  As it was, your odds were 50/50.  Congestion, muscle aches, dizziness, sore throat, non-existent appetite and low-grade fever.  How is it that each of these symptoms alone were minor?  Almost unnoticeable.  You could easily carry out any task battling them one on one.  Yet together they took you down hard.  It was unfair and utterly ridiculous!  Not to mention hugely inconvenient. 

     It was probably that sneezing sheriff from that last case.  You had to introduce him of the concept of personal space more than once.  The douchebag said it was just allergies.  Contagious creep!

     Still, you were home now.  Back at the bunker with three bags worth of pharmacy remedies to ease your pain until the virus ran it’s course.  All you had to do was make it to your room and you could drown yourself in cough syrup and peppermint oil.  Unfortunately, Dean was not making it easy.

     “You sound like shit, Y/N.”

     “Well, I feel like shit, so that tracks.”

     You coughed harshly into the crook of your elbow as you trudged down the metal stairs behind Dean.  Sam followed behind you, carrying your bags and his.  Gentleman that he was.  Levelheaded and sensible, God must have given Dean’s portion of those admirable qualities to his brother. 

     “That cough is getting worse,” Dean said, tossing his duffle down on the war room table. 

     “That’s because you won’t shut up.”

     “What does that have to do with it?”

     “Because you keep baiting me into conversation with all of your pushy opinions.  If you didn’t make me talk so much, I wouldn’t be coughing so much!”  You broke off into a hacking fit that proved your point in your mind.  This was entirely his fault!

     “That’s ridiculous.  You’ve been talking non-stop since we met you five years ago and you never coughed up a lung because of it.”  Dean shook his head and looked to his brother, “Sam, help me out here.”

     Sam usually occupied neutral territory during these debates, but one look at you and he sided with Dean.  “Why don’t we go get you checked out, Y/N?”

     “I got checked out in Billings, they said it wasn’t Covid.  It’s probably just a run of the mill virus.”

     “That guy was like twelve,” Dean scoffed.  “I’m surprised he knew what to do with swab.”

     “He was a doctor, Dean!”

     “Debatable.”

     “There’s no harm in a second opinion,” Sam pointed out. 

     You were so tired you just wanted to cry.  Why were they being so hard-headed about this?  Typical!  Men always think they know everything.  It was all so simple for them, they never had to jump through the hoops that you did when getting care.  It was always the same when you went to the doctor, which is why you never went.  Doctors who dismiss your symptoms and bill you for the privilege.  If you were up to your usual fiery disposition, you’d launch into a lengthy explanation, but you just didn’t have it in you. 

     “If I could get a decent one, I’d consider it.  But the fucking truth is, I won’t.  Not without a fight and I just don’t think it’s worth it.  I’m not dying, I’m not bleeding.  I’ve got a cold, a really shitty one that I hope to God neither of you get because dealing with sick Winchesters might actually finish me off.”

     Dean frowned down at you, “What do you mean?  What is it with you and doctors?”

     “I do not have it in me to explain to you the numerous and colossal failings of the American healthcare system, so I am going to simply say this.  It’s my health and I still get a choice.  So, I’m going to my room where I can die in peace and hopefully tomorrow, I will be rise like the Phoenix with clear sinuses.  If not, then my ghost will haunt this bunker and you two will have to fight over my George Carlin collection.”

     Dean blinked at you for a moment, “You know, we killed a phoenix a few years back.”

     You rolled your eyes and started down the hall towards the bedrooms.  “If either of you wake me before noon, I’m licking every doorknob in this place.”

     “It’s a great story, we had to time travel!” he shouted after you.

     You voice echoed back, along with a few coughs, “I’m using your pillowcase to blow my nose!”

     “I don’t like this, Sammy.”

     Sam picked up his own duffle, “Of course you don’t.  Your mother hen instincts go into overdrive whenever any of us gets sick.  Remember Fort Worth?”

     “Food poisoning, God that was awful.  The pair of you were doubled over the toilet for three days from a damn salad.”

     “And Nashville?”

     “Shark week,” Dean muttered, remembering you curled up with a heating pad while he and Sam hunted vampires.  You wouldn’t even talk to them, just whimpered occasionally and buried your head under the covers. 

     “Right.  She doesn’t get sick often, but when she does all she wants to do is sleep.  The more you try to help the more it irritates her.  Just leave her be, she’ll let us know if she needs anything.”

     That earned a frown from the older brother, as did the sound of another sneeze down the hall.  You were a damn stubborn mule when you wanted to be, but that didn’t bother Dean.  It was a useful quality that served you well in the field.  But you tended to double down when you were hurt or scared, making a challenge for people who loved you to help. 

     And Dean did love you. 

     He came to that conclusion long ago when you burst in on him fighting off a werewolf in your barn.  Barefoot, with a sawed-off shotgun in your hands.  You were fearless, clocked the beast right between the eyes. 

Then:      “Are you alright?”

     Dean rolled the dead body off him and got to his feet.  He quickly took measure of the woman standing in the opened doorway.  Silk short shorts and camisole peeked out from under a worn buffalo check flannel.  Blood ran down bare legs and splattered in the cloud of wild curls that framed a pretty face.  Angel with a shotgun.

     Her expression was one of concern, but she kept a tight hold on her weapon.  Smart girl.

     “I should be asking you that question.”

     You glanced down at the blood stains, “It’s not mine.  My neighbor he, ah…I don’t know.  He went… rabid.  I put him down, didn’t want to hurt him, but he came at me…”

     “If you hadn’t, he would have killed you.  Or turned you.  It was a mercy, believe me.”

     You took solace in that.  With a nod, you lowered your gun and glanced over at the werewolf, dead on the ground. 

     “I don’t suppose there’s a monster removal service we call in a situation like this?”

     “It’s your lucky day Sweetheart, cause that’s me.”  Dean stuck his hand out to you, “Dean Winchester, monster remover extraordinaire.”

     You grinned, pulling your lower lip between your teeth and your eyes warmed up.  It was a look he knew well; he’d seen it in women countless times.  You thought he was cute.  You put your hand in his for a handshake and he winked.  You laughed softly, confirming his theory.  You thought he was adorable, or at least charming.  A good start!

     “Y/N Y/L/N.”

     “Y/N.  Pretty name.  If you’ve got a shovel around here, I’ll take care of this.  Then we can decide what to do about your neighbor.”

     You grabbed a pair of shovels along with your rubber gardening boots that you kept by the potting bench.

     “I built the retaining wall in the west garden by myself last summer,” you said, pulling the boots on.  “I’m handy with a shovel.”

     There was a glint of respect in his gaze as he studied you.  It wasn’t every day he met a beautiful woman who offered to help him dig a grave in middle of the night.  In her pajamas. 

     He glanced at the dead body then back to you.  “You sure?”

     “I’ve been saving this bottle of Canadian whiskey for something special.  I think digging my first grave is the occasion I’ve been waiting for.”

     Dean was a grade-A smart ass and never at a loss for a clever comeback.  But damn if you didn’t knock him speechless.  Standing in the middle of a falling down barn with a dead werewolf only a few feet away and blood splattered all over… you were the sexiest woman he’d ever laid eyes on.  He was a confident man who loved women.  When he met a woman he liked, he turned on the charm, pursued her.  Simple.  But you… you held challenge in your eyes, pride in the tilt of your jaw and confidence in the carriage of your body. 

     You were a match to be met. 

     “Well Y/N, lets earn that whiskey.” 

Now:      The following morning, you didn’t come out of your room for breakfast.  When he still hadn’t seen you by noon, he decided to hell with it.  Even if you bit his head off, he was damn well going to check on you.  He was Dean Winchester, damn it!  He’d faced the Devil himself; he could handle a cranky woman with a head cold.

     He stood quietly outside your bedroom, straining to hear any sign that you were awake.  A moment later you broke into a series of coughs, and he took the opportunity to knock.

     “Y/N?”  He cracked the door open and stuck his head inside. 

     Your room was dark except for the glow from your laptop and the tiny light from the vaporizer billowing out peppermint scented air.  Your bed was huge and took up most of the room.  A king-sized masterpiece of cloud-like fluffiness and ruffles.  Princess and the Pea inspired mattress topper and ivory striped pillows stuffed with goose down.  Dean bragged about his memory-foam mattress so often that you took it as a challenge when they invited you pick a room and make it your own.  The bed itself was so big it wouldn’t fit through any door in the bunker, begging the question… how did you manage it?

     You’d teased Dean for weeks, refusing to tell him the simple cheat.  Castiel did it for you.

Then:     “You’ve gotta be kidding me!  I pray to his feathery ass for weeks with no answer and you just up and ask him to move your princess bed and he does it?  Poof?”

     “Well, yeah.  I said please.”

     “It’s very… white.”

     “I know.  We go so many gross places, skeevy motels and hunts covered in monster goop.  I wanted something clean.  You know?”

Now:      With the abundance of pillows and blankets piled on the bed, it was hard to make out your form in the middle of it all.  Dean stepped over your discarded shoes and hunting clothes.  There were piles of crumpled tissues all over the floor, cough drop wrappers and half drank bottles of water. 

     “What time is it?” you asked from the mountain of covers. 

     “Just past noon,” he replied, coming closer to the bed.  “Thought maybe you’d want lunch.”

     You shook your head and Dean could see you a bit clearer in the light of the computer.  Your face was flushed more than it was the night before and your eyes were dull.  You looked utterly miserable.

     He sat on the side of the bed; his hand went to your forehead.  You didn’t even pull away, “Fever.  You take anything for it?”

     Your finger pointed to the table littered with over-the-counter drugs and bottles.  You’d taken everything for it, but nothing really helped.

     “You get any sleep last night?”

     “No,” you said on a sneeze, then groaned.  “This blows.  You should leave so I don’t give you the plague.”

     “Hmm.”  He stood there for a minute, then disappeared out into the hallway.

     You burrowed back under your covers with a shiver, for the first time in his life, Dean Winchester actually did as you asked.  You must be in worse shape than you thought.

     A few minutes later, he reappeared with a large mug in his hands.  “Wanna sit up, Sweetheart?  I’ve got something special for you.”

     With a grunt, you untangled yourself from the bedding and sat up against the padded headboard.  He smiled fondly, you looked adorable, even as sick as you were.  Your hair was held back in twin French braids that were starting to come loose and you were using one of his missing Henley’s for a night shirt.  A few sizes too big, it hung off one of your shoulders.

     “I was wondering where that went.”

     You were confused for a second then tugged self-consciously at the collar buttons.  “It made its way into my rotation after that Wendigo hunt.”

     “Looks better on you anyway,” he held out the mug to you.  “Drink this nice and slow, it’ll take care of that cough so you can sleep.”

     “What is it?” you asked, stirring the steaming liquid with the cinnamon stick that propped against the rim.

     “That is Bobby Singer’s patented, super-secret, cure all hot toddy.  Sammy used to get sick all the time when we were kids, that stuff always put him right.”

     You took a sip, it indeed soothed your throat and although you couldn’t really taste it, the burn of alcohol was distinct. 

     “Wow, how much whiskey is in Bobby’s hot toddy?”

     “Enough to send you off to dreamland.”  He stood and turned to leave.  He knew you didn’t want to be bothered and now that you’d accepted his help, he felt a bit more confident in leaving you.  For a while.

     “I’ll be back in a couple of hours and see if you can stomach some soup and crackers.  Your meds will work better if you eat.”

     He was almost to the door when you stopped him, “Dean?”

     “Yeah?”

     “How’d you kill the phoenix?”

     “It’s a… a long story.”

     You gave a small shrug, feeling silly.  You’d made such a fuss yesterday about being left alone and now you found you wanted him to stay. 

     “I’m not exactly going anywhere.”

     That earned you a genuine smile from him.  He toed off his shoes and launched himself into the middle of your bed with a bellyflop. 

     “Dean!”  You laughed, covering the top of the mug so the contents wouldn’t spill.

     He made a big show of climbing up over the mountain of blankets and pillows, “Jesus, Y/N!  How do you sleep on this pile of marshmallow fluff?”

     “Shut it.  You’ve been dying to try my bed since the day I moved in.”

     “Who says I haven’t?  Remember that trip you took to Jody’s last month?  Sammy and I had a great time painting our toes and talking about boys in here.”

     “Shut up,” you said with a cough.

     “He wanted to try on your underwear, but I drew the line,” he teased, pulling you in close so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders.  “Comfortable?”

     You tucked into his side and let your aching head rest on his chest.  “Mmm.”

     “Good.  So, the year was 1861 and the place was Sunrise, Wyoming.”

     Hours later, long after the hot toddy had done its job, you were deep asleep when Dean woke up.  He was unbelievably hot, and you were the cause.  Obviously, your fever had spiked.  Sweat dotted your brow and soaked through your clothes to the point he was feeling damp where you were cuddled against him.  He gently eased you off, feeling your forehead with a frown.

     “Y/N?  Wake up, sweetheart.”

     You grumbled in your sleep and burrowed deeper under the covers when he pulled them back. 

     “Come on, Y/N,” he urged, pulling a thermometer from his shirt pocket. 

     You were only halfway awake when you realized there was a thin, glass tube under your tongue.  “Wha thmm hemmm?”

     “103.”  He brushed the hair back that had stuck to your temples.  “I think I should take you to the E.R.  High fevers are nothing to mess around with.”

     You shook your head, coughing deeply.  “The meds just wore off.”

     He handed you a box of tissues, “I think you need more than cough syrup and Tylenol.  Let me take you to get looked at.”

     “I’ll be okay Dean; I just need to give it time.”

     Behind the exhaustion and illness, he could see flicker of fear in your eyes, and he was torn.  The last thing he wanted was to push you or take away your choice, but he wasn’t going to let this get out of control. 

     He sighed heavily, “Okay, we’ll try it your way.  On two conditions.  One, you need to eat something, so you keep your strength up.”

     “Okay,” you agreed, trying not to cough again.  “And two?”

     “If this gets worse, you’ll let me take you to the doctor.”  He could feel you instantly withdraw, but he wasn’t going to let you.  This was too important.  He crooked a finger under your chin, gently coaxing you to look at him.

     “I know it scares you, you don’t have to tell me why.  Trust me, I’ll take care of you Y/N.”

     Your reluctance met with his resolve and after a moment, you nodded.  “Okay.”

     “That’s my girl,” Dean praised, brushing a kiss across your forehead.  “Now, if you’re very good, I’ll bring you a bowl of tomato rice soup.”

     “With that bacon cheddar panini you made last time?”

     “Woman after my own heart,” Dean said.  He climbed out of the bed, then noticed you doing the same.

     “Whoa, wait a minute.  Where do you think you’re going?”

     “A shower, I feel disgusting,” you muttered, pawing through the bottles on the nightstand.

     “No way, that fever is way too high.  And you use water hot enough to burn off fingerprints.”

     You tossed back a couple of Tylenol with a generous swallow of water.  “If I smell as awful as I feel, then you shouldn’t be discouraging me.”

     “Y/N…”

     “Super quick, more of a rinse than a shower.”

     “Ten minutes.  Any longer and I’m coming in after you.”

     “Wouldn’t be the first time,” you replied, gathering a fresh set of pajamas.

     “Keep that water tepid,” he called after you. 

     Once you were alone in the shower room, you turned on the water and allowed yourself the coughing fit you’d been holding in.  Dean was worried enough about you.  As sweet as he was, there was a claustrophobic feeling bubbling within you.  It came from a childhood spent as a sick kid.  Parents, teachers, doctors all seemed to hover.  Stealing your air and breathing down your neck. 

     Hidden in the clean clothes were two small bottles of essential oils.  An old remedy passed down from your grandpa.  You striped down and stepped under the water.  It wasn’t nearly as warm as you’d like it, but it was better than nothing.  You uncapped the bottles and sprinkled the contents over the floor.  They mixed with the heat and made a fragrant steam of peppermint and eucalyptus.  You braced your hands against the tiled wall and let your head hang down.  A few minutes breathing in the steam worked to open your nasal passages and more importantly, your lungs. 

     Tightness had been building in your chest since last night and out of all the symptoms, that was the most troubling.  Not even that heavy duty decongestant cut it, and that stuff always helped.  Thankfully, Granddad’s method never let you down.  You breathed as deeply as you could, until the coughing it caused made the room spin and your knees go wobbly.

     You sank down onto the wall bench and turned the water off.  You shivered and tried to work up a bit of strength to dry off and get dressed.  Utterly exhausted, even the thought of standing was enough to tire you.  Of course, you knew if you sat there long enough, Dean would come searching for you.  Potentially naked or not.

     Then:      The shrill scream cut through the bunker, reaching Dean even through his headphones.  He was on his feet and down the hall as another shout echoed from the shower room.  A twist of the handle didn’t yield entry.  Sam was out on a supply run, which meant you were the one trapped inside.

     Dean took a step back and splintered the door off its hinges with a single kick.

     Gun drawn, he burst into the steam filled room, “Y/N?!”

     You were standing on top of one of the teak benches that lined the shower wall.  Soaking wet with shampoo suds cascading down your very naked body.  Your already wide eyes got even bigger, and you screamed again.  You crossed your arms over your breasts and crouched down into a ball, it was the quickest option for modesty.

     “Dean!”

     He peered through the steam and the still running water, gun still drawn, “YN, what the hell?!  What’s going on?!”

     “Spider.”

     He blinked, twice.  “What?”

     You pointed a watery finger towards the middle of the tiled floor, “By the drain.  Huge, HUGE spider.”

     Dean tucked his gun into the back waistband of his jeans, “Damn it, Y/N.  I thought you were being attacked!”

     “Why would I be attacked?  You guys said this bunker is the safest place on Earth!”

     Dean angrily threw a towel at you.  “You were screaming bloody murder!  What the hell else was I going to think?!” 

     You wrapped the towel around your body, tucking It securely under your arms.  “I don’t like spiders, okay?”

     “We just got back from a freaking ghoul hunt, with dead bodies and gore and guts… the whole nine.  You didn’t flinch once, but a bug’s got you clutching your pearls?”

     “It’s an irrational fear, professor,” you replied, switching the water off.  “But since you’re here to rescue me… would you please?”

     Dean rolled his eyes but inspected the drain all the same.  “I don’t see a spider.”

     “What?!”  You looked around frantically, then grabbed Dean’s arm and pointed, “There!  In the corner.”

     He pulled his red handkerchief from his pocket, “Alright, I got him.”

     “Wait!  Don’t kill him!  Just… catch and release.”

     “You’re awfully picky for a damsel in distress,” Dean muttered.  “Is this one of your superstitions, like that cricket in Rhode Island?  Is it bad luck to kill a north-facing spider on a Tuesday?”

     “Nearly every culture believes that killing a cricket brings bad luck.”

     “You know what brings really bad luck?  Going into a vamp nest on no sleep because a fucking cricket was cruising for a date in our bathtub!”

     “That spider doesn’t deserve to die because of my fear.  I just… I don’t want to kill anything else.  Not now, not if I don’t have to.  Do you?”

     You raised your beautiful, luminous eyes and searched out his.  His heart beat in double time and he was suddenly acutely aware of the tiniest details.  Tendrils of your hair dripped water like diamonds on your shoulders and collarbones.  Your skin glowed a healthy pink, you probably used that fluffy loofa thing you always left hanging on faucet.  The scent of your favorite soap hung heavy in the air… what was it?  Ginger peach?  God, he loved it!  You had lotion that went with it and a tiny hand sanitizer that you kept in your purse.  It made his whole car smell like you when you used it, even after you were gone. 

     Dean gave himself a mental shake.  In under five minutes you had taken him on an emotional rollercoaster from panic to irritation to confusion to completely mesmerized.  How did you do that?!  It was happening more and more.  Every time he was around you, he discovered another piece of the puzzle.  He could never predict what you were going to say, but somehow it was always just what he needed to hear.  You voiced the emotions that he had never been able to put into words. 

     “No,” he said at last. “I don’t want to kill anything else either.”

   Now:      Dean was at the stove when you shuffled into the kitchen.  He smiled at you over his shoulder while you sat at the table.  You were in your Christmas leggings and yet another of his missing shirts.  Your face wasn’t as flushed as it had been when you first woke up, a positive sign. 

     “Hope you’ve got your appetite back, because this batch of tomato rice soup is on point.”

     “Your cooking is always on point,” you smiled wanly as he set down a bowl in front of you. 

     “You’re not wrong,” he replied, running his hand over your forehead.  “Fever’s down.  You feel better?”

     “The shower helped.”

     “You smell like a candy cane,” he chuckled, taking a massive bite of his sandwich.

     “Peppermint oil.  For congestion,” you explained. 

     You considered the man across the table from you as you silently ate your soup.  You couldn’t properly taste it, but it was warm and soothed your raw throat.  You’d known Dean Winchester for five years and there were still moments like this, moments where you felt like you were seeing him clearly for the first time.  The delightful domestic behind the swagger and the grit.  He took such pure joy in the mundane that it was hard not to get swept up in it.  The greatest hunter in the world was also the kindest.  Surely there was some sort of cosmic balance working itself out there, but you were too tired to reflect on it.

     “So,” Dean said, pulling you from your thoughts.  “You up for a little movie marathon in the Dean cave?”

     “That would depend on what’s showing.”

     “Lady’s choice.  So long as it doesn’t have subtitles.”

     “La Dolce Vita is a classic!”

     “Die Hard is a classic,” Dean countered.  “Plus, it’s a Christmas movie so it counts double.”

     “Ugh, fine.  You big baby.”  You thought for a moment, covering a cough with the back of your hand.  “How about Ghostbusters?”

     Dean grinned at that, “Yeah?”

     “Or Stripes or um… Caddyshack.  Mom was a Bill Murray fan; we always watched him when I was sick.”

     “Sounds like Mom had good taste,” Dean picked up the dishes and headed to the sink.  “Why don’t you go find a comfortable spot on the couch?  I’ll be right behind you.”

     Laughter always was the best medicine.  And Dean always was the best cuddler.  He brought his gigantic triple thick comforter from his bed and tucked the two of you under it as the 80’s classic played on the flatscreen.  It didn’t take long for the full stomach and the warm hunter to lull you back into a deep sleep.  You were out before the credits rolled.

         Your hacking cough that woke Dean hours later.  It was different this time, you were coughing so much that you couldn’t seem to catch your breath.  He was right behind you as you hunched over the arm of the couch.  As he rubbed your back, he could feel how deeply your lungs rattled.  It was a distinct, wet sounding cough that shook your whole frame.  Heat from your spiked fever radiated through your shirt to his palm. 

     He was saying something to you, but you couldn’t make out the words, only the soothing tone of his voice.  You were truly miserable.  Your head ached with every cough and when you finally managed to stop hacking, you struggled to catch your breath.  A glass of water floated in front of you, and you drank it greedily.

     One word broke through your haze: Doctor.  You didn’t really hear him say it, but the implication was there.

     To his surprise, and as a testament to how awful you felt, you nodded your agreement.  The relief was evident in his voice, “There’s my girl.  Stay put; I’m going to warm up the car.”

     As Dean left, you took stock.  The fever ravaging your system left you feeling disgusting, but you were too tired do anything about it.  Your head was pounding from the coughing fit and your chest was so tight it was painful to draw breath.  You looked down at your pajamas; the snowflake leggings and borrowed shirt were hardly a fashion choice, but they would have to do. 

     There was an awful taste in your mouth had to go.  You could manage a swish of mouthwash, even if you had to sit on the toilet to do it. 

     The minute your stocking feet touched the ground, everything changed.  Your chest got painfully tight.  The feeling of a crushing weight on your chest, as if Dean had driven his car over you and parked it.  The room started to spin and not even holding on to the table made the world steady.  You went down with a thump, landing hard on your ass.  Breathing became like sucking air through a tiny straw, you simply couldn’t.  Your mouth gaped open as you tried and failed to draw air.  Panic swiftly set in as your fingers and toes went numb from lack of oxygen.  Your vision blurred and went dark around the edges.  You dropped to your side and prayed Dean would be quick.

     He was gone five minutes, tops.  The sight of you curled on the floor had him shouting for Sam as he quickly knelt beside you.

     “Y/N!  Baby, look at me, I’m right here…  Sam!!”

     You tired to talk but, no sound came out.  Your hand was on your chest and there was a wheezing sound.  Tears formed at the corners of your eyes. 

     Shit!  He wasn’t sure what had caused this attack, but it didn’t matter.  He had you in his arms as Sam burst through the doorway

     Sam’s eyes went wide as he took in your pale features and distress, “What the hell?!”

     “Hospital now, you’re driving!”

     By the time the Impala was squealing out of the bunker’s garage, you were fully unconscious.  Your limp body sagged against Dean’s chest while he tried to get you to respond.  Sam was alternating between watching the road and checking the rearview on your deteriorating condition.  His foot pressed the accelerator down, pushing the Impala to the limit.

     “What the fuck happened?  I thought she just had a cold.”

     “Its this cough, she couldn’t shake it.”  Dean kept you upright in his lap, knowing it was the easiest position for you to breathe in.  He could feel you losing the battle, even your lips were turning from red and chapped to slightly blue and it scared the hell out of him.

     How the hell did you get this bad so quickly?  He had kept a close eye on you, kept your fever under control, kept you hydrated.  It just didn’t make any sense!  If he didn’t know any better, he’d have thought you had… asthma. 

     Flashes came to Dean’s mind; puzzle pieces fell into place.  The vaporizer in your room billowing out peppermint was not a new addition; you took it with you everywhere.  It made even the grossest motel rooms halfway pleasant.  You always kept a scarf wrapped around your neck if the weather was even a little cold, and you pulled it up over your nose when the wind got bitter.  Even that time you helped them burn a body.  You turned away from the pyre and pulled that scarf up… Dean thought it was the smell that got to you. 

     “Shit,” he muttered, digging through your purse as Sam got closer to the city limits.  He pulled out a metal tube with a plastic dispenser.

     “Son of a bitch!” 

      Sam’s eyes caught the reflection, “Is that an inhaler?”

     Turning it over, Dean read the prescription.  “She’s fucking asthmatic!”

     He steadied your lolling head with his hand and brought the inhaler to your mouth, “Okay, baby… this medicine is gonna help you.  Breathe it in for me.”

     He dispensed two puffs into your mouth and prayed the meds got down into your lungs.  Was it the right thing to do?  Use an inhaler on an unconscious person?  Dean had no idea, but he was going to do whatever he needed to do to save you.  He cradled you on his lap and prayed as Sam pulled into the Lebanon Hospital parking lot.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hybe didn't?

Lmao they were no.1

Things hybe 'did' for Jimin FACE era

1. Denied him of 4 MV, to artist who build that fuxking company. While giving their rookies 4 MVs on 1st album, Yoongi and Hobi a documentary and now a world tour. Apparently 4 MVs request is unreasonable, my ass.

2. Lets forget about other international platforms but they Didn't raised a finger against hanteo robbery even if it's their own home country. Still no one knows where that 770K sales went. Conveniently stole his #1 soloist sales record.

3. Didn't sent LC to radio even after mass request from fans and it achieving no1 on BB, left all work to be done by fans. LC had a very big opportunity to go even big but how much fans can do without a single support from agency ?

4. No celebrations or theme cakes like other members, no interviews or hype after No.1 BB like bangtan had during dynamite era. When rest country was celebrating and their share prices shoot up. Even Jimin's dad's friends celebrated while it's silence from his agency.

5. Even his pre orders still not shipped which is affecting charts. It's been a month, mind you. Took days to restore CDs in BTS store. Took days to add LC to This is BTS Playlist, which is the biggest we can have, while haegum was added in a day.

6. Army were begging them about BB situation for 3 WEEKS but no response but conveniently corrected the website just a day before D DAY. No comments regarding his 90%+ sales being deleted while all K media were writing about the BB payola.

7. Cut down his promotion to 10 fucking days leaving even Jimin disappointed and doubtful about his promos. Just to announce a whole new album in a week and killed hype of FACE.

8. Threw him to hands of kpoppies and antis, they were rentlessly attacking him since SMF dropped, articles were written, they were making sexual harassment and rape jokes against him. 'Artist protection' no where to be found. Didn't even took down korean articles or hate blogs.

9. Made him overwork and finish everything within 10 days till he was sick. He attended parties with tapes on his neck and was sick af by end of promos, even on BB hot 100 announcement day.

10. Remember when Filter was removed from iTunes when it began outstreaming ON ? Yeah same thing happened. FACE tied with BTS record for iTunes album IMMEDIATELY next day there was a 'glitch' and FACE falled.

That's an accurate depiction of me rn. I said in a comment and I'll say it here. I love Jimin with everything I own, but I'm gonna need my man to start having some sort of defiance. He doesn't see his potential, fine. But he needs to start prioritising himself. He don't need to be putting others infront of himself all the damn time. Did other members put their shit on hold for his sake? No. He was born to shine...its why he's so hated because he doesn't need to do much and people will gravitate towards him. If YT didn't do what they did SMF and LC would both have over 100M views by now. No seriously think about it. Forget the streamers like u and me. We have 74 million subscribers on Bangtan TV and 70 M subs on Hybe labels. Then Jimin has 49M followers on insta. Lets say 10 million are people with multiple accounts. That leaves 39M followers. Again, forget the streamers. Lets say there is a person who is busy so they only have time to watch his MVs once before going to work and once before bed. Then we of course have the haters obsessed with Jimin who also watched the MVs at least once. Add the fact that both MVs for sometime were number 1 and 3 on trending which means locals who like to see what's trending clicked on the songs and watched them. And then that's when the streamers come in. The math does not math no matter how much u try. The fact that LC doesn't even have 50 million views is absolutely ridiculous.

But, I digressed. Back on topic. Hybe did do him dirty. BH been doing him dirty for fucking years. But he stays. If you've been listening. You will notice Suga and Jimin are the two members who've been the most vocal about coming back as 7. I'm not saying the rest don't want that, but Yoonmin do appear to want that the most.

We have seen Jimin refuse to go hard when he's dancing with people who are not as good. The TT he did with TXT he did not even try. He took the cute route. And that's not the only one. VIBE he could have gone harder, but u can see he is holding back because that is not his song, he was a feature. Watch how he dances with Suga versus how he dances with Jhope. U will see a clear difference. Jimin has always, always put other people into consideration. Its why u will see when V is making fun of Jimin he won't stop and keeps going and going. But when Jimin is making fun of V, he will catch himself and stop and admit he has gone to far.

He has always put Bangtan before himself and it sucks. Look at JK "what are they gonna do, fire me?" JK knows the power he holds and uses it and takes advantage of it. He knows he's indispensable. But then so is Jimin and I wish he would follow his boyfriend's lead because this is absurd. Other members have gotten sm and he got so little. How and why was he okay with this?

I would bet my right arm (I'm right handed btw) that he has also put BTS before his relationship and could have been the cause of some of their fights. And u know JK sees whats happening and doesn't like it one bit. BH weren't promoting his man to his satisfaction so JK did a whole live dedicated to Jimin. He said; fine, I'll do it myself.

Y'all think I'm kidding when I say JK stays for Jimin 🧐

I hope military service hardens Jimin and he comes back with an attitude because this man deserves to reach even greater heights than he already has.

Fuck Hybe and Bighit with a fucking cactus I'm fucking done with this shit

[sabraeal]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

As I said on my first fic rec post, I have written very many fics and I love almost all of them, so I can't pick FAVORITES so much as CATEGORIES, and this category is going to be "Fics Joanna Made Me Write Outside My Comfort Zone Because It's Good For Me Or Something"

Whenever I view the moon on the battlefield This was the FIRST fic I wrote outside of ANS fandom, and if that was not already out of my usual groove enough, it's also from the POV of one of the minor characters in Hakuouki, Shimada Kai. The concept was originally conceived while I was streaming a playthrough for the obiyuki discord-- Yamazaki (our best boy) and Shimada are both spies and spend quite a bit of time off screen, so we kept running into scenes and being like "how AWKWARD is it for those two to be watching this right now?" And so when it finally came time for me to throw my hat into the yamachi ring...Joanna asked for THIS to be the fic. You know. Instead of one where Yamazaki and Chizuru actually kiss or whatever. Sigh.

The Most Perverse Creature in the World Listen. I know there are people out there who LOVE xReader fics. I'm happy for you, truly. I am not one of them. But after answering the fandom fuck/marry/kill game (otherwise known as only one bed/slow burn/enemies to lovers) with small littler blurbs about the kind of story I would write for the older gentlemen in ANS (Shidan, Lata & Haruka), SOME PEOPLE got very invested in Haruka's little enemies-to-lovers blurb. Some people made puppy eyes. Some people made puppy eyes and then got very sick after, and I AM A GOOD FRIEND and wrote ONE CHAPTER and have never known a day of peace since. Six years later it's up to thirteen chapters, has a very complicated plot involving the politics of taxing oral sex, and I've learned how to effectively write in 2nd person.

don't speak boyshit I cannot properly explain how absolutely in our heads the Maria/Kamitani pairing is, but like. It's good okay?? Joanna did not so much force me to write this one so much as like...emphatically encourage its existence, to the point where I have a very complicated outline and she routinely reminds me I'll finish it when i'm like. 50. But this is certainly the gateway fic to the OTHER fics for this pairing she DOES want to twist my arm over, SO ON THE LIST IT GOES. I am one of TWO authors in this ship tag, and also one of TWO fics...and yet this is one of my most popular non-ANS fics 🤣

If the Mind Is Willing This is a fic Joanna will HAPPILY admit to being the main driver for, since, as she puts it, "there is no one else who could possibly ever write this fic." Taking TWO very niche concepts (LARP and a SURPRISE FOR LATER) and a very niche pairing (yamachi) would perhaps not have been MY first choice...but Joanna asked for the first chapter as a birthday gift a few years back and here I am, learning a whole new tabletop system and really giving my FBI agent something to talk about at the watercooler.

He Who Studies Evil Of all the niche fics Joanna has convinced me to put to paper (or at least, word document), this is probably takes the top spot. A prequel to my obiyuki Star Trek AU, this covers events about 10 years previous, with Haruka taking over DS9 and immediately being thrown into a political nightmare when he is informed that the Cardassians are in possession of a missing human child. This took...an INORDINATE amount of time to research and write-- I hadn't seen DS9 since I was in high school, and I watched through nearly half a season just to get the timeline right-- but I still REALLY love how it came out. Which is good, because it is definitely one of my least read fics 🤣

[turbles]

(I posted this on twitter back in early March but since that platform is going down the tubes rn I'm reposting here as well for archival purposes)

Some background here. 6 years ago I took up reading fanfic as a hobby. Very quickly I realized I'd need a way to mark which fics I'd already read or tried to read and dropped, so I wouldn't keep running across the same ones over and over and forgetting I'd already read them. So I started bookmarking EVERYTHING regardless of my actual opinion on it (I'll come back to this)

Anyway eventually I realized that, via the filtering options AO3 provides for your bookmarks, I had a pretty good way to collect pointless data about my reading habits and make some really pointless graphs. So when I reached exactly 2000 bookmarks I decided to do that. as a reward to myself.

data for the original 2000 was collected from whenever I started doing this, through March 6th 2023

Caveat: obviously the possibility of human error in this data is significant. I was never consistent on whether I should bookmark all individual fics in a series or just the series itself if I read the whole thing, for instance, and I've surely forgotten to bookmark plenty of things I did read over the years. this is just for fun though so I'm not sweating it.

thank god for how detailed ao3's tag system is tbh

Anyway here's a pie of all fandoms (with over 50 bookmarks):

For some temporal context of the above, I fucking counted every bookmark from the top 9 categories there and arrayed them by month-bookmarked so I could make this chart of growth rates:

Genshin impact will of course continue to grow because the game continually releases new stuff and characters. Numbers spiked in October coinciding with sumeru's release. we'll see if another spike happens once fontaine releases in a few weeks from now. interestingly to me, I started been playing genshin like 6 months before I started participating in the fandom because it took me that long to get accustomed to the uh.. genshin-ness of the characters and the story, enough to start making inroads towards actually caring about the characters.

looks like FE3H grew the fastest, but it will eventually plateau like yoi, dragon age, and ffxv before it. Still kinda going strong though,since there's just lots of people writing for this fandom, and helped by the fact that it has a really large cast.

This next chart will take a little background info. So to indicate to myself something about the quality of the fic, when bookmarking I would choose to "Rec" it or not. As I said previously, I am literally bookmarking everything I read whether I loved it or hated it or it caused me pain or whatever. My criteria for whether I Rec a fic or not has never been set in stone, but THE IDEA is that recced fics were ones I overall quite liked, felt were well written and would be willing to go back & reread or had something else that made them stand out from the crowd. A recced fic isn't necessarily one I would literally recommend to people to read, and non-recced could mean anything from it was good but had one part that bothered me, to I had just read a bunch of that author's other works and this one was weaker than their others, to it was horrendous and ruined my whole day, to it was just kinda boring.

HOWEVER I did add my own more curated tag, Greatest Hits, for the ones that I really loved, that stuck with me after reading it, that I regularly desire to go back and revisit. While I rarely ever adjust my recs, I have often added (even sometimes removed) the Greatest Hits tag from fics years after first reading them.

Anyway that means this chart could be said to express in a really general way my opinion on the general quality of the writing in a given fandom:

I found it interesting that AA has such a high proportion of recs. I think its overall lower number of total bookmarks works in its favor here, as I tend to dip toes into a new fandom by first looking at top-kudosed fics and then when I find authors I like, trawling their bookmarks for more and branching out that way. So I tend to find pretty good fics earlier in the process. the longer I'm looking through a more stagnated fandom, the less good fics I find, is I guess the logic here. So in the case of AA, I suppose I didn't get much deeper than skimming the cream of the crop before I moved on?

Comparing genshin and fe3h vs. dragon age and ffxv, which all have more similar total bookmarks, was interesting too, to explain why genshin/fe3h's ratio of recs is higher. Both genshin and fe3h have really large casts, and therefore lots of different characters and pairings to read about, so it's almost like each pairing is kind of its own pool of fics that I'm skimming the best ones out of. with DA and FFXV there's really only a couple ships I'm interested in, and their ratios are similar accordingly

because we all know. that the main draw for fanfic tends to be shipping. so here's the top 10 most bookmarked ships pie:

and because genshin and fe3h are sizable enough to warrant a further breakdown of ships for that fandom alone, here's some pies for that:

it makes me laugh that dimiclaude is statistically significant when really I was just trying it out and ultimately decided I really don't even care for that ship

And a growth rate chart for genshin impact ships specifically:

so funny story, as I was playing through the liyue story chapter I was NOT a fan of childe at all, in fact I passed up two of his reruns before reading on the wiki (almost immediately after his 2nd rerun ended) a key piece of his backstory that all of a sudden caused his whole characterization to fall perfectly into place in my mind and he shot up the list to being my top fav character in the game literally over the course of like ten minutes. and yeah that was november 2021 and as you can see that's when I started really reading genshin fics LOL

forecasts have haikaveh and cynonari continuing to trend up for a little while, though the next region and thus a whole new cast releases soon and could stymie those trends. zhongchi is a staple genshin ship and imo a bit more flexible content- and dynamic-wise than many of the other pairings here, so I predict it maintains a regular gentle incline even in the face of shinier newer pairings.

The less stacked roster fandoms don't have as interesting breakdowns, but here they are just for curiosity:

and yeah that's all I made at the time! I only thought of it after but I'll be recording data on Ratings from now on as well. I'd also considered looking at things like average word count on recs or greatest hits fics, but absent of even more highly specific filtering tools that would probably fall under diminishing returns. maybe someday.

This was dumb but very engrossing and fun to make and I learned how to use google sheets out of it so we'll see if that ever comes in useful in my life

[rainydaze-rhys]

Do all 25 for borderlands. Yknow. For funsies.

There will be a readmore line here somehow because on god I’m about to say so much. let me preface: all my hot takes on the matter are a solid 4 years old at minimum, I do not keep up to date on the blands fandom, my enjoyment of the series exists exclusively in isolation these days, etc., etc., if things have changed then I simply do not know about it

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Handsome Jack. He is not a good dad. He is also not in his 30s. That man has an adult daughter and has been married twice. I refuse to believe he was anything under 50 during BL2.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

DHKDGDJSHDJDJ I sure did forget this was one of the questions. Um. My faves are all verse and no one would refuse to do one thing or another.

3. description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I saved this for last and then still couldn’t bring myself to remember anything so this doesn’t get an answer because I simply do not want to remind myself of those takes

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Back in my borderlands days I was afraid of blocking people so I simply did not do it. Took me until only a couple years ago to finally realize “Oh this rules and significantly improves my online experience” and now I block all the time, but this is an entirely separate blog from my borderlands one so it doesn’t have any crossover

5. worst discord server and why?

This one I can’t answer. Discord wasn’t a thing for my original dive into borderlands. We all were just on tumblr constantly and then me and a few friends also talked on Skype

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Handsome jack/Rhys. I mean I was there. I was in the thick of it. I could see it. But oh my god the braindead takes on it and the aggressive insistence that it was basically canon! The number of people who actively harassed people who liked the actual in-game love interests! The amount of times I saw people say “I don’t personally like this so I’d rather people not discuss it around me” only to be bombarded with dozens of responses discussing it in detail! Wretched! One of the all-time worst collective cases of people insisting the biggest and most popular ship was effectively canon and getting mad at anyone saying otherwise

7. what character did you begin to hate because not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

Handsome Jack. lol. lmao.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Handsome Jack is a dogshit father and every single fluff piece or “Happy father’s day lol” post or headcanon about him being a good dad to Angel is dead wrong to an astounding degree. He put her in a cage and used her as a computer for her entire life and frankly she should have gotten to kill him

9. worst part of canon

Borderlands 3.

I was going to say “I kid” but I don’t. It has its moments, but god, it sucks so bad. Killing Maya, replacing Angel with Tannis, writing off Lilith, doing what they did with Aurelia (she would NOT fuck that man), flanderizing the characters from TftBL (Vaughn’s… whole situation…), and— god I just remembered mid-sentence that New Tales exists. That one was actually worse than BL3 somehow.

10. worst part of fanon

Handsome Jack. I’m just gonna keep saying this for basically every question that asks about the bad parts of fandom because literally… him and the people rabidly defending him. (<- he is my favorite character and also I think he deserved worse than he got. these are not mutually exclusive)

11, number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

See above re: blocking people, I didn’t filter things at the time and on this blog I follow almost no one who posts borderlands content

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Fiona is weirdly unpopular given that she’s literally a protagonist. The same with Lilith, actually, now that I think about it; people seem to either be “meh” about her or frothing-at-the-mouth enraged about her. And they’re wrong! Fiona is a great character who deserved to actually fucking exist in bl3, and Lilith is really well written as understandably arrogant and capable! Also, Nakayama and Vasquez. I can’t take credit for being into those two because other people with extremely good taste did it first and influenced me, but it remains true. And ELLIE. I know “unpopular” isn’t strictly true of her because I think most people would say they like her, but Ellie is a gold star across every game she’s in and I wish there was even more of her and I wish people appreciated her more. Love Ellie.

13. worst blorbofication

. handsome jack.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

So many borderlands fics are a/b/o. Mpreg is like the DEFAULT. It boggles the mind. “Rhys Borderlands is Handsome Jack’s PA and then he goes into heat in his boss’s office and Jack is such a ruggedly masculine alpha he takes suuuuch good care of him!” Gives me the ick. One thing they don’t tell you about naming yourself after a video game character is the rammys when you try to read a fic and see Your Own Name in those situations.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I actually don’t really remember the fanart well enough to say about this. I vaguely remember a lot of art of Rhys Borderlands strung up like a puppet controlled by Jack, but beyond that, I’unno

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing

Can I be very fully and entirely honest. I don’t love Tim. I don’t hate Tim! And I’ve turned around on him a lot, his appearance in the Handsome Jackpot DLC in bl3 is phenomenal and he’s a great character! And it’s a super interesting concept! I just still don’t love him.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I want more fics where Angel survives and gets out from under Jack’s influence. Let the Crimson Raiders be her new parents. I want her to be Maya’s best friend and I want her to date Gaige and I want her to be there in person to kick Jack in the dick when he loses badly and then dies.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. YES the gameplay can be tedious at times. However. I love the Pre-Sequel so much. Love the writing. Adore the plot. Cherish the individual Vault Hunters. The Claptastic DLC remains one of my favorite DLCs. Love Elpis. Fucking love Janey Springs. Hate the way they left so many loose ends to be tied up plot-wise and then just kinda went “lol nvm all that” in the next game.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

IYKYK ;)

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

A lot of the Pre-Sequel is going back and forth across very large open areas using Stingrays which are a vehicle I do not love. A lot of BL3 is also going back and forth across very large open areas using vehicles which control like the Stingrays. There are so many quests that are just “drive around and kill 30 guys and pick up 8 items then drive here and kill 30 animals and pick up 8 more items then drive back and kill 30 guys and give me the items.”

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

I don’t really think there are overhyped things unless BL3 entirely counts as overhyped, which… not anymore. Honestly most of the stuff that’s hyped is fairly understandable. The most popular DLCs are inevitably the ones which are the most well-written with interesting mechanics.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I already said the Pre-Sequel. Uh, if “everyone else” includes the writers, then TftBL, because they absolutely just threw all of that except Rhys and Vaughn in the trash and then ran those two through a meat grinder.

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

No “unwilling” about ‘em, I’m usually pretty much open to whatever, but I also don’t even poke my head into the tags these days so I haven’t experienWAIT no I just remembered Zer0/Rhys is a thing. I used to not like it. I do now. Silly goofy.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

“Is it okay to like Handsome Jack?” I will not be elaborating because thinking too much about the endless debates gives me hives

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

Once again I am too disconnected from the greater fandom these days to actually know and be annoyed by what people are complaining about.

[turtersblade]

FINAL FANTASY XVI

Finished August 24

This game is quite something. What is that something? I'm not really sure. This is how I generally feel about the game. Final Fantasy XVI is a game that doesn't do things terribly wrong, but is filled with weird choices in direction and is filled with missed potential. Or maybe not even that? They didn't shoot for the moon, but maybe for something much easier, like for the clouds.

The biggest oddity here is the extremely pointless 5 year time jump. It's weird. The time skip served absolutely no purpose to the narrative, gameplay, characters, or anything else. Developing characters off screen would've been bad, but somehow we're meant to believe they havent changed at all in the five years. That super apparent romantic tension between Clive and Jill? That completely stagnated in place in those five years. Everything stagnated in those five years.

Gameplay wise, missed potential. Absolute missed potential in points, but in some other aspects they never shot far anyway. The combat is the biggest case for missed potential. It's good, its good, but I cannot say much else. It doesn't evolve much during the game. Your base combo never ever changes or gets upgraded or anything else. So the only way the combat ever changes is the Eikon abilities you get from each of the Dominants. Yeah they all also kinda suck. Your Phoenix/Ifrit and Garuda skills actually work really well together, theres synergy there. But aside from Titan, the others absolutely do not. None of these skills work well together to form a fluid combat experience. It's still fun enough, but this really could've been more.

The level design is horribly bland and uninteresting. The dungeons are not good. They took FFXIV dungeons, put them in a single player action game, and then further simplified and dumbed them down. You move so awfully slow in this game which makes these areas even more of a drag to get around. I don't see why this couldn't have more involved dungeons when something like Stranger of Paradise had incredible dungeons.

The quests are so mind numbing too. Go here, get item, fight wave of easy enemies, ok now fight enemy with a really big healthbar, go back, quest over. This even applies to the main story. There is just so much uninteresting filler. Not horribly bad, but just passable.

Now for the positives. I really like these characters! They're all so good, with Dion becoming a surprise favorite. The writing is pretty good, the voice acting is top notch, and I really cared for everyone. Clive is an absolute legend, I love him and he deserves the best.

The music?? Especially for the Eikon fights, its incredible! I found myself humming quite often when a track came on. Cid's theme is an absolute classic to me now. I knew the music was in good hands when I found out it shares the same composer(s) as Final Fantasy XIV.

I really enjoyed this story. For each arc, they did a great job at giving you a new big bad to fear and want to take down. They even did a solid job at making you feel some ounce of sympathy for them. Their only fumble to me was actually Ultima. I'm sorry but I just do not give a fuck about Ultima. I knew from his first appearance that I would not like him, but still kept an open mind. Yet, they never gave me a reason to care about him.

Overall, I liked this game. I did every side quest (which actually did have interesting stories in them!! they are worth doing) every hunt, and I finished this game at the 50 hour mark. I wouldn't have done all this if I didn't like it, but this could've been more. This is the definition of a solid 7.0/10 game. An exact 7. A high C on a tier list, maybe very bottom of B, depends on what it's up against. I still recommend this to everyone, because everyone can have a good time. They don't do anything egregious that would turn people off here, you'd only be fighting your own boredom at times.

Torgal is best boy

[javic-piotr-thane]

“Like I think just personality wise, Gwen is the most capable leader “

i don’t strictly disagree, much in the same way i don’t disagree that ianto wouldn’t thrive in taking command, and ive said ab my communist theory just now haha

i think my opinion is probably tempered by how i see gwen? which is someone who will take charge & lead but often won’t make the most sensible decisions because she’s too swayed by her emotions (which isn’t necessarily bad, but i think torchwood leadership needs to be more cynical than emotional)

i know these are s2, but i’m thinking of the things that have confused me in her actions (very simplified) - in sleeper, she refuses to promise beth that they will not unfreeze her if they can’t fix her, something beth is clearly terrified about happening (given she kills herself at the end); and in meat she potentially jeopardises people because of her worry for rhys. i also would say the fairies thing too but the majority if not all of the team were upset by that (which i also don’t really understand, perhaps its my autism lol) so that one is more useless as a point here.

there absolutely are moments she excels, but i think chronologically between s1 & 2 she isn’t quite there yet. but yeah, again, odds are none of the others particularly cared to lead and so she was the best option (in that she perhaps did want to lead) but it always struck me as a little odd the newest torchwood agent became the highest ranking one

i think the fairies thing ("how can you give the child to them?!" uhh the child wants to go?? and also otherwise there would be untold revenge??) stumped a lot of people, you're definitely not alone there - i think the writers aimed for a more emotional response from viewers but that didn't quite happen in my impression :''D

and that's actually a good example for a lot of things, like Gwen the main character = the character most of the audience is supposed to relate to. but many (most?) don't.

Gwen is RTD's baby, she's the main character, of course she's in charge. she took over from Suzie who was Jack's Second, and therefore gets to be Second pretty quickly as well. apparently. also main characters have to be special and/or leader characters, that's just how it be. (something something it took Star Trek over 50 years to have a show with a main character who's not captain. only to make her captain later.)

but.... let's take a stop here maybe, because even writing this, i can feel myself slipping back into the negativity i've held for a long time regarding Gwen's... special position in Torchwood, both canon and in the bts and meta sense. and i unironically think leaving that behind was the hardest but also the best thing i've ever done in this fandom. because yeah there's gripes to be had. but i really don't want to be bitter, you feel?? i want to think about and enjoy an interpretation of Gwen (and everyone else, for that matter) that makes me happy and not angry or upset. partially born from fanon, partially born from a mix-up of all the different flavors of canon we have received over the years.

speaking of, regarding the novels; you don't have to rush to read them or anything. some are quite good, but some are something else :''D in fact i think i unintentionally spiralled into a lot of Gwen negativity (i don't like to say Gwenbashing because i like to think i never got that horrible on this blog, but if someone wants to use that term for some of my older posts ig that's fair) back when i first read those, (particularly but not only 12, 13 and 14) because holy fucking hell Gwen's characterisation there is. is not okay at times. everyone is mischaracterized at times in the books but Gwen's bits definitely had the biggest impact on me by far and in the worst way. so maybe. stay away :'D (or only read the first eight for a start, they're decent and have all the people. so double win!)