#TO STOP DENYING HIMSELF WHAT HE DESIRES BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID FOR THEM TO GET HURT

[sharpth1ng]

Something I always think about is (and before I continue I feel it should be good to mention I’ve only read Debaser so far, none of WOrM yet)

Billy has like.. basically branded Stu, with the B. That already feels so personal and like he’s dedicated to keep Stu to himself? PLUS the way he acted when Stu was in the hospital, that felt like pure vulnerability to me

Which brings to wonder, why does he feel so.. closed in? About committing to Stu? If that makes sense?

Alright, so I'm not sure exactly what you mean about closed in, but I'm going to answer to the best of my ability.

Have you ever had a feeling you REALLY didn't want to have? You can fight it or deny it as much as you want but it always comes back eventually, and maybe it even feels good when it does, relieving. But indulging in it makes you feel guilty or wrong or scared in some way, it's not part of the way you think you should be or the way you want to be. Maybe you even think it will hurt you.

The best example I can come up with is sort of how it can feel before you come out as gay or trans. I was terrified of it because I knew there was a number of ways it would make my life harder, and I knew it would change the way people saw me in ways I couldn't control. But I also couldn't stop myself from wanting it or from acting on my very gay and trans desires when my defenses were down. I think sometimes when you deny something over and over it just gets stronger and stronger, it busts out of you in ways you can't control, and the longer you do that the harder it gets to contain.

That's what's happening with the branding- because you're right, that's exactly what it is. Billy wants Stu and he has for a long time. He wants his attention and his time and he doesn't want to share him, but all that wanting makes him feel vulnerable. He's not in control of the way he wants him and that scares him because so much of what he is is control. It bursts out of him in moments of high tension or emotion- that's why he kisses Stu for the first time after they kill Maureen. He's so worked up and euphoric in that moment that his defences are down and he acts on instinct, for once he isn't able to stop himself from doing what he actually wants to do.

Another moment of this sort of busting out of him is when he lets Stu fuck him for the first time in chapter 11. He's just had a horrible experience at the police station, his defences are down, and he just wants to feel good. Stu always makes him feel good, brings him relief that he feels incapable of giving himself.

It's the same when he gives him the B cuts; Stu has just shocked him, refused to back out in the face of his cruelty and told him he could kill him if he wanted. For Billy it's almost exactly what that vulnerable part of him wants to hear- Stu will let him treat him horribly and he still won't leave. On some level Billy knows he's hard to get a long with. He knows that he hurts people, and he expects them all to leave eventually, but here Stu is, trying to prove that he won't.

So Billy's getting exactly what he wants from Stu, why would that be a problem? Well, when you're terrified of abandonment it doesn't really matter how many times the people around you prove they'll stick around, you still can't totally trust that. In his experience anyone he loves can just up and leave no matter how much he trusted them. Like his mom did. So rather than open yourself up to exactly the pain you're afraid of you just don't let yourself get attached in the first place- you can't get abandoned if you're the one that leaves, right? Only that doesn't work with Stu because Stu refuses to leave, even when his life is on the line

In the hospital in the epilogue he's basically just so emotionally raw all the time that it's all closer to the surface, harder for him to make excuses and deny it in himself because he's faced with one of his worst fears: the possibility of actually losing Stu. And it's not even Stu leaving him, it's Stu being taken away so he can't react with anger like usual. He can't defensively antagonize him like he normally would either, and that makes it harder not to confront this feeling that he's had for most of his life (if you read butterfly eater some of the childhood stuff is there, but its also discussed in the Debaser epilogue that his relationship and connection to Stu has been deeper and more long term than he's let on through the rest of the fic).

It's not a mistake that this history is revealed only when Stu might die, it's just that he doesn't have the fortitude to deny it and talk it down anymore.

I think maybe the best way to explain why Billy feels "closed in" is to say that he experiences love like a greek tragedy. That is to say that loving Stu feels inevitable, like he's been set on this path he didn't choose and no matter how many times he tries to get off that path he doesn't have the willpower not to go back. It feels more and more inevitable every time he fails to stay away, too, like the path is closing in on him. It feels like a tragedy because he believes that giving in to that love will also inevitably hurt him, and especially by the epilogue of Debaser he believes that love will destroy him completely.

Stu's coma gives him a taste of what it would be not to have anyone who knows him that entirely, and he honestly doesn't believe he's going to find anyone else who will, ever again. Stu uniquely compliments him, he's just as fucked up as him and he doesn't even blink an eye at Billy's rougher edges. If anything he loves a lot of those rougher edges.

In those moments when Billy's real feelings burst through he absolutely is vulnerable as you said, but it's not the same as being brave and choosing to be vulnerable, choosing to trust someone even though it scares you. For Billy the vulnerability in these moments is involuntary. He's still scared, he feels out of control, he's not choosing any of his actions they're just coming out of him whether he wants them to or not.

So yeah, I hope that kind of explains where he's coming from, why he feels so closed in. He's already in love with Stu and he has been for a long time. He doesn't want anyone else to have him but he also doesn't think its safe to have him the way he really wants to.

[capricorn-writer-kawaii]

That Night in the Hot Springs

Chapter 1/3

Pairing: Enji Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Enji Todoroki X Reader, ⚠️smut⚠️, fluff, angst, age difference, divorced Endeavor, ⚠️anime spoilers⚠️

Words: 2k

Summary: A divorced and hard-working Endeavor allows himself to lose his composure at the desire he feels for his young colleague. Yet, the flame hero did not count on the fact that what seemed to be just one wild night stand in a hot spring would lead him to fall madly in love.

A/N: This idea just kept popping up in my mind. In the end, it came out longer than expected, my bad, but if it's about Enji being soft and in love, I couldn't help but write a little more. Also, I was very excited to write about Endeavor after his wonderful character development. Why not give him a second chance?

Chapter 1 – Don’t play with fire, kid

Being alone with your boss was your favorite moment of the day because you can actually see him, not his heroic facade. Once the doors of his office were closed, Enji Todoroki freed himself from the pressure of being the number one hero, a task that not even himself was sure to be able to do it. All Might’s ghost will always haunt him. It had been a few years since All Might retirement and that fierce fight against Hood, the High-End Nomu. Moreover, Dabi's transmission had left serious consequences on how society perceived the flame hero. Yet, Endeavor's efforts to be a better person did not go unnoticed by everyone, earning not only the respect but also the affection of many, you included.

All his concerns disappeared when you were at your knees and with your mouth on his length. It has huge, it didn’t matter how many times you were together, Enji’s size always amazed you. Even so, you liked him so much that your body was always ready for him, even in moments when you weren’t supposed to feel turned on by him, you were. Maybe it was because he failed to hide it too.

The attraction he felt over you led him to gawk at you when you were working together. Seeing you in your costume drove him crazy. Why did you have to choose a design like that? He asked every time you walked in front of him. Why so stretch? Why did HE have to be like that?

He had never acted in such way, he was always so focused on his duties that he barely paid attention to other heroes until Hawks had that stupid idea of bringing you to Endeavor's agency. But how could he deny it? You were gifted, your quirk worked so well with his that it would be a waste not to accept you in his agency. Though, things escalated quickly from the moment he noticed how merciless with criminals you were. He couldn’t understand how you were the same person who laughed at Hawk’s lame jokes. In battles, you were fierce, you attacked with such spirit that you managed to take his breath away, but on your regular basis, you were so kind and lovely.

You shook his ground when Endeavor discovered your talent and witnessed your braveness. He had already been divorced for years but it was the first time he really fell for someone. However, Enji wasn’t willing to accept it because you were way younger than him, you were barely in your late 20s.

What the hell was wrong with him? He asked when he found himself getting a boner once during a battle, he helped you from falling from a building. Yet, when he caught you, he grabbed your ass and you automatically place your hands on his wide neck while his name was pronounced by your mouth. It sounded so sexy, especially being that close, that he almost lost concentration and hit another building.

From that day, he tried to behave as the respectful and serious man he had always been; thus, he tried not to work that often with you. However, he couldn’t deny your talent and Hawks started to question him why you weren’t working anymore with them in the most complicated cases.

“She’s amazing! Are you afraid she could get hurt?” Hawks asked while coming back from work.

“Stop questioning me.” Endeavor ordered with a tone that would make any other person cry, but Hawks was so used to it, that he didn’t even flinch, especially not after both heroes were coming from having some drinks together.

“At least consider it, if she helps us, we can solve more cases. You’re swamped with work now that you’re the number one hero. We can use a hand if you’re planning to keep that title.”

Endeavor kept silent as he listened and realized he actually needed your help. The next day, you were under his wing again. You and Hawks will work next to him, at least for some time, or that was his initial idea. But who did he want to fool? You were amazing, just as he already knew and as Hawks had said.

Besides, you were so professional and so responsible that in a matter of days, Endeavor was again eating from your hand, totally thankful for having you on his team.

If his temper was already difficult to handle, it got worse every time he caught Hawks flirting with you. The worst part was that he knew it was just the normal thing, you guys had similar ages, you were friends, and you hung up a lot together. It was normal to think that there was some kind of attraction; yet, he couldn’t be more wrong. You had a crush, for sure, you were head over hills for someone, but not for Hawks! For your boss! However, he was out of your reach, there was no way you would tell him or even think about acting on it. No matter how many times you were alone with him in his office, or all the lunches and dinners you had with him and Hawks, not even the numerous nights he offered to drop you home.

Not until that day…

“I’m so happy we can finally have some free time!” Hawks said as he, Endeavor, and you walked towards some hot springs.

“We should get back sooner now that he…”

“No! Please, Endeavor! You promised us we could use the hot springs if we finished on time, and we did it!” You said, causing him to sight, he knew he was already defeated the moment you used those puppy eyes on him.

Some minutes later, you took a different path from them and found your pond. After demanding so much of your body during the mission, it felt amazing just to chill in the water.

From where you were you could hear Hawks and Endeavor’s voices through the wall stone that separated your pond from theirs. You giggled hearing Hawks begging Endeavor to warm just a little bit more the water. The flame hero had no interest in doing what his right hand asked; yet, he preferred warming the water than continuing listening to the young hero asking for the same.

“That’s what I was talking about! Thank you, boss!” Hawks said while he closed his eyes enjoying the warmth. “Hey, hottie! How’s everything over there? Feeling nice already?”

Endeavor groaned hearing that annoying way of calling you. He had already said to Hawks to stop being so disrespectful; however, your answer did not allow the hero to scold Hawks, for your soft and sexy moan just took his breath away.

“It felts great, thanks for warming the water, Endeavor.” You replied, getting no answer from the pro, who was silent not only because of your hot moan but because he was thinking that maybe you didn’t mind Hawks’ comments because something was going on between you two.

Some time passed in which the three of you stayed there enjoying the night, allowing yourselves to forget your worries and to submerge your anxieties in those warm waters. But it was not the only thing you did. While you kept thinking that the man who drove you crazy was just a few steps away taking a bath, the redhead thought the same. It had been the heat coming from his body that had made you moan.

The three of you got so carried away with your thoughts that Endeavor didn't even listen when Hawks apologized and said goodbye. He needed to get some sleep or exhaustion would make him fall asleep in the water.

"Precious, are you coming with me?" The young hero asked causing his boss to feel his blood boil.

However, you rejected his offer, you wanted to enjoy the hot springs for a while longer, or at least that's what you said, what you really wanted was to be alone with your boss, even if you were in different ponds.

Endeavor chose to stay as well, even though he didn't want to accept why he did. For a while there was silence, which wasn't entirely strange, since the ones who used to talk were you and Hawks, Enji was usually silent, and if he spoke, it was to give orders or scold Hawks. Nevertheless, although many people judged him as a cruel man, his two pupils knew that it was not entirely true, he cared for them in his own way. Starting with the missions, no wonder why he was on top of all heroes, for he was capable of controlling any situation without taking his eyes off you, always making sure you and Hawks were safe.

"How's your leg, kid?" He asked you after a while.

"Can't complain, I can move it now."

“Be more careful. If Hawks hadn't helped you, you'd have fractured it."

"Yes, sir" The hero sighed, he didn't like to hear that word so much, especially not coming from you.

He was your superior, that was true, but a little closeness and trust wouldn't hurt either. Had all of his attempts to be a little more approachable not worked even with his closest subordinates?

A little more time passed and the night was getting colder. Not even the heat from the hot springs was enough. Endeavor hadn't noticed the temperature change, as his body always harbored some heat, but for you, it was just impossible to stay there.

The way back to where you were going to sleep passed right by the pool where Hawks and Endeavor had taken a bath, so you would have to pass in front of your boss wearing only a towel. All thanks to Hawks and his stupid pranks, since he had taken your clothes.

When the flame hero heard your footsteps, he looked up. He didn't expect to see you in a towel, however, it was the most sensual image he had seen in his life. Your hair drenched in your bare shoulders, your breasts protruding from that little white, almost transparent towel, and then, your long and naked legs. It was impossible for him not to react to that sight, not to start getting hard. He tried to stop looking at you and focus on something else, like he always did, but this time he took a little more time and you noticed, the leering look from your boss couldn't just be a product of your imagination.

"You're leaving?" he asked without looking at you.

"It's very cold and Hawks took my clothes."

"What? That idiot did what?" As prone to anger as ever, Endeavor forgot why he'd averted his gaze from you and even rose to his feet, forgetting that his erection was already somewhat noticeable.

"It's okay, I'm used to..." You quit talking when you felt a few drops falling on your face. Immediately, you both looked up and noticed that it was starting to rain.

Once you looked at him again, you surely forgot how to talk. If he had been impressed looking at you, your jaw just dropped. The number one hero's body was huge and muscular. There was not a single part of his body that was not trained. It was not just an athletic body, the head of the Todoroki family was a mountain of muscle, and despite the years passing by, his body refused to show any sign of weakness. His body was too tense and fit for age to do its thing; on the contrary, years only made him more attractive, more manly.

If Enji's physique was already breathtaking, the way he looked at that moment left you even more fascinated by him than before. Due to the cold drops of rain and the heat from the hero's body, his skin emanated steam. Also, the striking turquoise hue of his eyes contrasted with the dark red of his hair now that it was wet.

"Come on, I'll walk you." He said, adjusting his towel, since it barely covered what was necessary.

How could you miss such an opportunity? When else would you be alone with that man and in those conditions? No… you had to do something, you had to act. You suspected that you awakened something in your boss because no matter how hard he tried to hide it, there were times when he couldn't and the way he looked at you screamed that he wanted you.

"I don't want to go back yet."

"But you just said you were leaving, and it's raining."

“I don't mind the rain. Can you warm the water a bit more?” You asked approaching him and as you did, the knot in your towel was loosening, already sliding over your breasts, and you barely had time to hold it so as not to be completely naked. "Please, Endeavor." You asked while making sure your generous breasts brushed his body.

Even though the towel didn't fall all the way, Endeavor was able to glimpse at the rounded shape of your breasts and that was enough of a temptation for his head to wander back to how much he wanted to drop his hero role, rip off that towel and make you scream his name.

The redhead noticed how obvious he was making, as well as the boner that could not be hidden in any way. So, clearing his throat, he tried to look at the water and take some distance.

"Fine, I'm going to heat the water." He responded by trying to get closer to the well, but as he brushed past you, you stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

The hero's turquoise eyes looked at you, warning you not to play with him, but at the same time, they burned with desire. The fire that torched in him with you so close was far more intense than he could bear.

"Why do you avoid me so much?" You questioned sliding your soft hand over his massive bicep.

"Look, kid..."

Enji was respectful, especially since you were colleagues, but he was definitely not a man to be trifled with. He was not shy, and his short patience had already reached its limit.

"No, you look." Even more determined than him and acting before, you released the knot of the towel and in a second it had already fallen at his feet. "Was this what you wanted to see?"

"You know what you're provoking, right?" He asked gently holding your chin, which allowed him to appreciate how you nodded while licking your lips.

The hero wasted no more time and lowering his gaze devoured your body, he admired every inch of it, every part that he longed to see so many times but had not been able to. It was even more beautiful than he had imagined; besides, your hard nipples screamed how turned on you got by his side. Suddenly, the enormous and rough hands of the hero grabbed your ass and lifted you, now you two were at the same height.

"What about Hawks?" His breathing showed how aroused he was and how difficult it was for him to keep those last few seconds of sanity.

"Hawks?" You asked letting yourself be enveloped by the steam that emanated from your boss's skin, caressing his huge shoulders and discovering how covered they were by freckles and scars. Under other circumstances you would have explained to him that nothing was going on between you and Hawks; however, feeling Endeavor's huge cock throbbing so close to your entrance made it impossible for you to say many words, so you barely managed to shake your head negatively. "We're just friends."

🔥Next chapter🔥

[thequietkid-moonie]

Reader wish to have fun before they die

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Hanako ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

⚠️ This contain a little bit of spoilers

I got really inspired for this, I wanted to write something angst and I think i made it! Yeey 😆

Hope you like it as much as I did!! And hope to get one or two tears from you 😈

In Kamome Academy runs differents rumors about some mysteries around the school, Hanako-san of the toilet is one of them, the rumor say that Hanako-san could make your wish real for a price

With that in that in mind you approached to the girls bathroom, slowly knock the third door and asking "Hanako-san Hanako-san, are you there?"

You were starting to get anxious for the wait and the silence when they door slowly opened a little, just to show that no one where there. A cold hand appear on your shoulder and a teasing voice is heard saying "here "

Fear or not you turn around to find a ghost dress up in black, he introduced himself as Hanako-san but he was nothing like you expected

A fearful reaction was what he expected, and in that case he will try to calm you down (but still keeping that dangerous and misterious ghostly facade), but if you aren't afraid but instead curious or even confused for his appearance he will be surprised, but will try to continue with the act

After the introductions (and some other questions you had) he asked what is your wish, the reason you had came looking for him, but what you say taken him aback

" I wish to have fun before i die "

He was surprised and even shocked, he knows that just people who are near to dead can summon him, but he didn't expected this. He ask you about it while trying to recover his composture again, not wanting to show his worries

You explained that your body isn't too strong, you have a health problem that soon or later will end your life, and maybe is because of this that people doesn't let you do much, maybe you were tired that people pity you or you just aren't too good at making friends, but you just wanted to act normal and have fun like all the other people your age despite your condition, that was you biggest desire (you want it that much that you were willing to go to a ghost for help)

He can understand you somewhat, he knows what is like being stoped by a disease, that happened long ago to him, when he used to be alive. He didn't pity you, it was sympathy, and that is why he accepted to fulfill your wish

You start being his assintance from now on, and soon you meet Yashiro too. You help her clean the bathroom and change the rumors, you fight along side with them and you get the opportunity to meet the other mysteries and supernaturals. You were living a lot of adventures with your new friends, your wish have really came true and you couldn't be happier

It was just a matter of time for Hanako to warm up with you, to start to care for you, to love you and that hurt him because he knows that you are going to go soon or later

He start to ask you about your condition here and there, it may seem like is just curiosity but in reallity he want to know more in case there is something he can do for you, even if you had already made peace with it and acceptated your fate he doesn't, he want for you to have a long life, he wants to be able to help you, he had changed the future once, so that mean that maybe, just maybe, he can change it again

He won't stop searching for a way to help you, if there is an posibility for you to live, he will hold onto that hope, even if is the smallest. He won't stop until you confront him about it and ask him to stop (if you say that you already made peace with your fate or that you are tired of hoping he will feel embarrassed), or that he just deplete his resources and doesn't find anything

He will even try to sneak on the 4PM Bookstaks and see your book to be prepare for everything that is going to happen, Tsuchugomori won't like this, and for a while he will deny him see your book, but after seeing how much this affects him he will give up and let him see it

The first time you skip clases for having to go to the hospital (either for an emergency or just a regular check) he panics, he search for you all around the school for you and pester Yashiro and Kou about it, he even go with Akane and the other mysteries, he is just too scare that you aren't going to come back. The next day, when you came to the school he greet you in the very entrance of the school and cling onto you the whole day, asking you why did you skip clases with a little pout, after hearing all about what happen he will just act like it wasn't a big deal, even deny that he was worried, just saying that it was just boring without you

From that day he makes sure to always be at the entrance (or looking at it) all mornings to makes sure you came to school, sometimes he greet you and other time he just watch you go to your classroom

If you ever have to go to the infirmary while being in the school he will pay you a visit, most of the time with the excuse that visits to the doctor are really boring, but he want to makes sure you are fine, that it isn't nothing too serious, and, even so he can't help but feel at uneasy for the smallest things

He makes sure that Yashiro and Kou keeps you company outside of the school, where he can't reach you, they are your friends too after all, it could be just hanging out or even going with you to the hospital

Hanako doesn't want to show his worries to you, as much as it worries him and hurt him he always acts cheerfuly around you, and doesn't bring up the topic unless is necessary, specially if you feel insecure of it or it makes you feel umconfortable, he wants to comfort you when you need it and he had promised to bring happiness and fun to your life, showing how much he is affected will only do the opposite

Deep down in his heart Hanako hope and wish that after death you become a ghost so you two can still be together, but he hates himself for thinking like that, he shouldn't be wishing for you to be trapped in the school with him, he should be wishing for you to be free from the pain, free to go to the other side, but he can't help to wish to be with you, at least a little longer

[missheavenfield1215]

"I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake"

Every day I listen and imagine that this song is by Fakir for Ahiru... (little angst/songfic)

It's a song of despair... Fakir knows that Ahiru's true self is a duck, and he knows that this is how things should be...

But nothing and no one prepared him for the painful loneliness he was about to go through...

And the solution to his deep loneliness lies in the lament of a request to an invisible God...

"Too late, the melody is over"

"The joke seems to be on me cos I'm the one not laughing"

"Down here on the floor"

The story is over, everyone seems to be perfectly fine, It seems that everyone has regained their freedom, everyone still retains their reason for happiness...

Except him

"Deflate, the mystery of living"

"In the most heartless fashion I could ever Imagine"

"No pretense of decor"

At times it seems that his world stops being bright and then he realizes that... Something is missing.

And his heart breaks again.

"Another place and time, without a great divide"

"And we could be flying deadly high"

"I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake"

He constantly wonders, (more so in the night hours) when he can't sleep... He dares to wonder how things would have been if they had happened differently... Perhaps, if she were not of another species, this would hurt less.

"Another place and time, without a warning sign"

"And we could be dying angel style"

"I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake"

He knows his desires are dangerous, but he takes care to keep them from growing any further.

He wants to think he prefers this world, where she sacrificed herself, taking his heart with her in the process. But his true desires are leaking out like a drip... Deep down, he knows exactly what he's willing to sacrifice.

And that terrifies him.

"With me, disaster finds a playfield"

"Love seems to draw dark, twisted pleasure tearing at me"

"Cos I can't let you go"

He keeps insisting that this is for the best... And again he ignores his heart that won't stop bleeding to stop his own lie. And he prefers to curse the day he fell in love, because it's easier to hate what makes him happy than to long for what he can't have.

Because he knows that when he crosses that line, nothing will stop him from sacrificing his own soul to get her back.

"Mercy, like water in a desert"

"Shine through my memory like jewelry in the sun"

"Where are you now?"

He still believes that his denial is mercy, that with time, this will stop hurting. But he remembers her bright smile and his search for her...

He wakes up once again, to realize that she is no longer with him.

"It's like I'm racing to the sun, blindly face the blazing gun"

"Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you"

"Like I'm racing not to run, give more when I have none"

"Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you..."

He knows perfectly well that, as painful as it may be, he must face his reality, even if it is burning him very slowly. As if denying everything would serve to make his heart break.

Even though he still wants to have her in his arms... Because she took everything from him and he is terrified of living in a world where she is now a simple memory that led him to agony.

He has always said that he is fine since she left...

He is NOT well

He is a LIAR... As much as he wants to deny that he misses her very much, he knows that it is not true.

He misses her, he misses the only person who could see through him and didn't take advantage of it.

Sometimes he thinks that he would give everything to see her again, but he knows deep down that this pain is probably only his.

He misses the only girl who wanted to give him her heart even though he himself couldn't give her his because he wanted to save someone else...

And now he deeply regrets it and wants to give it all of himself this time. Even though she has taken everything from him.

[quirklove]

Can you write about rikya yotsubashi eka redestro with clingy reader. Not in a annoying way but more like Touch starved.

Love your work by the way. You are doing great job<3

thank you! God I love Rikiya <3

Haha… you just can’t get enough of being near him, can you? He’s almost smug about it at first, and all his subordinates make jokes about you. (Well, aside from Tomoyasu.) “Aw, they can’t keep their hands off the boss!” “Sure you don’t want me to go book you guys a room?” and, if you happen to be female, “Guess we know you’re trying to make sure you have an heir, Boss…” He doesn’t stop them from saying anything unless it bothers you, but he thinks that part is all in good fun.

He’s surprisingly accommodating and understanding of it. If you feel the urge to constantly be touching him, then it’s something he doesn’t need to snipe at you about. There’s something about it that you crave, so there’s no justification for him to deny you that. If you start getting to the point that you push his boundaries, then he’ll have a talk. Until then, he doesn’t see any reason not to let you be as clingy as you feel like.

… It’s nice, anyway. He’s pretty touch-starved himself, especially because before you, he didn’t let himself have pleasant things like that. He needs his Quirk to build strength from stress, to carry out his plans, and he’s afraid that letting someone give him such comforting, calming touches will drain out all that stress and he’ll be powerless. Sometimes when you’re doing things like cuddling with him or stroking his hair or holding his hand… he wonders if he should scrap his plans entirely. He can’t imagine stopping you, even when he desperately needs the stress to gather his strength. The better world he wants to create requires sacrifice; and yet, without your touches, what’s the point?

Before big battles or days where he knows he’ll need the strength, he manages his buildup of stress by being insistent about not sleeping beside you that night. Particularly if you like to cling to him while he sleeps, he’s not able to stop himself from clinging to you back, from melting into the affection. He loves sleeping with you and getting to hold you at night. But he also needs to be able to have the power to keep you safe. Even though it hurts him to explain that, since he knows the deep, intense desire you have for that contact, it would hurt him more should something happen because he didn’t have the strength to protect you.

… When everything is over, when he doesn’t need his Quirk as much anymore, he makes up for it. He sleeps next to you every night after, and he holds you as tightly as he possibly can, and he kisses you as many times as you’ll tolerate. And he apologizes, tells you how much he loves you. Touch him as much as you want, with the knowledge that he craves it just as much as you do.

[flockrest]

Hi, another lurking anon. I kept re-reading "Cooking is Communal" post- sorry if that's not the title. I was very curious on your views of Revali's lonely nature (his personality). He feels somewhat abstract to the rito culture...? Or I might be reading into it too much.. And based on the AU- where he is brought back to life, would Tulin try to look for a way to break that lonely aspect of his? I would ask more? But I do not want to overlwhelm. But thank you so much for the posts you do about the Ritos though, its always an enjoyable experience and makes me think a bit more.

hi, welcome! no need to apologise for anything, very glad the post ( which can be called anything you see fit ) resonated with you to a point where you'd follow up on it! and oh boy. you are not reading too much into it, i have A Lot to say about revali and whatever the heck he's got going on with him and his Issues — of which his loneliness is a huge part of — and how that interplays with his people's culture and his love for them as a whole.

just to preface before we get into it: thank you lots for sending this in and for your kind words!! genuinely, it makes me beyond happy to know that my rambling is appreciated ♡ don't be afraid to ask me more if you'd like, i promise you won't overwhelm me because i'm a verified sucker for discussing meta in-depth!

i touched on this in the tags of the mentioned post but to me, pre-calamity revali does come across as someone who denies a lot of things ( very evident ingame ) and also denies himself of a lot of things — especially when it comes to anything that could be significant interpersonally! there's very clear implications that he's been lonely, if not completely alone, for a great bulk of his life; there are even clearer walls he's built up to cope with this and ensure that nobody can ever see or acknowledge this.

to paraphrase some old disco ramblings: he feels like someone who clings so damn hard onto this image he's carefully crafted for himself to present to others — presented for so long that it's not just a second skin so much as it is something deeply embedded — so that nobody can possibly suspect he is in any way lacking. not in skills, or grit, or the ability to be anything but most especially a champion.

or, you know, in any meaningful company at all.

and he just doesn't have the resources, emotionally or otherwise, to really let any of that peek through? he is so vehemently against this idea that he is not enough for anyone, including himself — admitting that he's lacking in any sense aligns with that. there's this line from when i was still testing him out that still stands out to me because i think it really just captures him in this context nicely:

Revali was born chosen by no one. He learnt, very quickly, to choose himself. And now, here he is.

we will never know for sure what his early life was like! but given the hints, there like. had to be a point where he accepted all the hurts of being alone, where he stopped earnestly trying to seek company and approval and being wanted from/by others because the only constant he had was himself. all he needs, an idea that forms at an early age and follows him into older youth, is himself — he can't be unreliable, he can't be conditional.

i think by that time, his seeking turns into something more like ensuring, if i'm making sense? like i don't doubt he's always strived for neverending self-improvement — half-out of a legitimate want to be better and half-out of a desire for attention — but now he's determined to make a name for himself, to make anything for himself, so that nobody can ever skip their gaze over him again. this isn't look at me, this is don't ever look away.

so he just. won't seriously admit to himself that he wants anything more from anyone pre-botw, which constrains any effort — from others or himself — to get closer, and like...be real with each other. to form an actual relationship. he still feels these desires, he just refuses to acknowledge them and it makes me want to shake him in a jar!! self-isolation at its finest! he puts up grandiose airs and all this pomp, because who else can he trust to do it for him! who else can he trust to see his "real worth", even as that's exactly what he's trying to get others to do! this guy is not okay!!

and! regarding rito village and their culture back then: i don't think it deviates from what i currently have in mind for them, but pre-calamity rito village feels like...it is not the same as post-calamity rito village. i think their flock was definitely bigger in that there were more people present and settled in those peaks in revali's era ( compared to both dineli's or tulin's ), so while core values and teachings remain unchanged, the sense of community does not.

it's always intense, but like. post-calamity rito village had to deal with the severe loss and trauma that calamity ganon wrought with him, which tinges their emphasis on togetherness with a touch of this is essential to our survival ( which may actually be a repeat of what happened with dineli's flock, mid- and post-the imprisoning war ). when revali was born, i feel like the community was much like a rural town with the ties the villagers had with each other; when he died, it was more like a covert — in that the world is suddenly way smaller and everybody is connected to everybody for their own preservation. and this is carried on to future generations, a lasting idea of flocking together is above all a priority, even for their travellers who leave the village behind for extended periods of time. i. honestly think this might count as intergenerational trauma?

( seriously, they are not a long-lived folk, yet the calamity has left such an indelible mark on them?? i'm so emo about how revali did not ask for a memorial, he asked for the flight range because it would be useful for him in the present and also for his people in the future, but they gave him this tragic permanency anyway. it's not a celebration of what he did, it's a commemoration to what he couldn't do; saki literally says, of revali's landing, "so named in the hope that none might forget the events of that horrible day". what a mournful way to frame it?! )

that is all to say: it's very plausible that the rito village revali grew up in would allow a solitary, neglected or orphaned fledgling to slip through the cracks. and maybe it's only initially, maybe it's just too late, maybe the fledgling then coats his own cracks over with a self-made balm and decides he won't let anybody make him feel lonely again and shuts himself entirely off, but. as i mentioned in the other study post, his lack of relationships wasn't always his fault, though it probably becomes so as he grows much older.

AND THE THING IS, revali doesn't stop caring about everyone ( and when i say everyone, i mean his people ). he can't! he can convince himself that he has no care for their affections ( and sometimes, he even fails this. he even fails this. i think about that diary entry where he talks about proving himself to the world when "the world" has done shit all for him, and i think about how a good percentage of his perception of "the world" was still narrowed down to his home then ), but he still loves them a great amount.

( to clarify: he cares for them the way you'd care for someone from a distance. you don't really know them, and you probably or would probably get along with them even less, yet you want to keep them around anyway. )

that's just something he's been raised with, steeped in because it's part of his culture, and also just. he's seen practically everything his village has to offer: perhaps all the worst parts in living through the bitterness of being lonely amongst a flock, but also all the best parts! sorry, i know i went absolutely off on how isolated he must've been and felt, but realistically his life couldn't have all been utterly miserable. fleeting joys are still joys! shallow connection is still connection! that came out harsher than i meant but the point is he genuinely loves his home and culture and people, even if his way of proving it is unhealthy and derives from a place that he definitely needs to go to therapy for ( i.e. his love for them is bound to his perceived self-worth. he has to "earn" his "right" to love them by excelling at what he does best, by being special enough, because he's unconditional with himself but they aren't! they aren't )!!

vaguely related, but this is, for me, why he never stops chasing achievements in combat. like ever. it's why rest/inaction forced by his severe injuries in the au where he survives is debilitating in more ways than one and emotionally frays him to a near-breakdown-turned-actual-breakdown. speaking of that, though!

yes!! yes, yes, tulin would absolutely be doing his best to bring revali back into their fold and make sure he stays there! you can see it in-play in my first thread with buck ( whose positively glorious revali can be found @/galestrings ♡ ); he's a kid who just so wholeheartedly believes in revali's goodness, refuses to not see the best of all his qualities, and so incessantly follows after him to Bond!!

i won't speak too much on this because i do want to continue seeing it play out with any revalis who would be willing to explore this with my tulin, but in connecting with him — even on a surface-level — i imagine that might provide a bridge to connecting with the rest of the village too! ( and it doesn't have to start with tulin, but i like my master-disciple bonds too much to let it not, in the case of my take on revali asflsd )

ANYWAY YEAH, that's what i have to say on this stupid bird vis-a-vis his loneliness!! god if you made it here without skipping over anything, i'm blowing you some friendly kithes. mwah mwah! hope i haven't chased you away with this, i'd love to hear your thoughts and receive more questions if you were so curious! thank you so much again for sending this in!! ♡

[umbrastar]

ROTTMNT rewatch S1 episodes 6-10 notes

First/Prev

Next (not finished yet...)

Character notes and thoughts:

Leo:

Thinks he could beat a professional wrestler (Shell in a Cell)

Forces his brothers to enter a maze bc he wants to prove he’s a champion and tries to lead them  (Shell in a Cell)

Reluctant to make a portal to get them out of there bc he wants to be on the wall of champions (Minotaur Maze)

“Get behind me! My trusty cloud of noxious gas will save you!” as he wastes gas spraying it near the civilian. (Bug Busters)

Immediately suspicious of big mama  (Bug Busters)

As a result, didn’t get captured by her  (Bug Busters)

Is a poor winner (Bug Busters)

Gets thrown off a roof by Draxum (Bug Busters)

“With my last breath, I told you so!” (Bug Busters)

Believes there’s no such thing as ghosts and ends up being right, though he was scared for a bit. (The Gumbus)

“donnie this is amazing. And I know that everything I saw sounds sarcastic, but im being completely genuine…this time.” (Stuck on You)

Thoughts: Minotaur Maze is probably the most Leo centric episode so far, showing his desire to prove himself, which he admits later in the episode, showing his self-awareness. He is also prone to getting a big head as shown when he wins the wrestling match to the point that he intrudes on Raph interest. Leo is also suspicious of Big Mama despite her friendly facade, maybe because he’s a little insincere himself. It’s interesting how he seems to be joking as he’s falling off a roof, as well. He knows how to play the funny man even when things are really bad.

Donnie:

“dead eye Donnie shoots and touchdown! Or insert correct sports reference”  (Bug Busters)

“this will teach you to complement my work and give me my first positive enforcement from a parent aged adult ever” -d to big mama  (Bug Busters)

“Donnie blocker” (Hypno! Part Deux)

“I don’t know whats crazier, a talking puppet or raph actually being right about something” (Mrs. Cuddles)

Bootyyyshaker9000 (Stuck on You)

Denies creating albearto (Al be Back)

Thoughts: Probably the most notable thing here is how Donnie felt betrayed by Big Mama because she is the only adult that has complemented his work. That was also why he was likely so quick to trust her. He also installs antivirus software on April’s phone, thinking she would try to download malware (he’s correct). He shows his care for people by making things that would help them (or Donnie’s version of helping).

Raph:

Fan of wrestling and ghost bear.  (Shell in a Cell)

Gets so mad about leo defeating ghost bear and letting it get to his head that he faces leo in the ring  (Shell in a Cell)

Stops being a fan of ghost bear when he realizes that hes a cheater (Shell in a Cell)

“Okay remember the plan. Attract, smash. Zap, smash. Bash, smash!” (Bug Busters)

“She’s a nice lady leo, whats not to trust?”, “you would hurt a nice spider lady’s feelings, would you leo” about big mama (spoilers, she was not a nice lady) (Bug Busters)

 Afraid of mrs cuddles and also probably cats (Mrs. Cuddles)

Not afraid of bullies, though (Mrs. Cuddles)

Decides that tying his brothers together is a good team building exercise

Wrote a teambuilding speech on his hand (Stuck on You)

Thoughts: He definitely takes teambuilding and leadership seriously, although his plans could use some work and are often a little overly simplistic. Interestingly, both he and Leo had episodes where they correctly distrusted someone, and the others didn’t believe them. Raph seems to be afraid of things that seem harmless, but not afraid of bullies or spider mutants. Meanwhile Leo seems to distrust a smooth talker like Big Mama. Maybe because Raph himself is very sweet, but has a bit of a temper, while Leo is a smooth talker himself. I like how he likes wrestling like 03 Raph.

Mikey:

Stole donnies thunder and stuff the entire episode without realizing it (Shell in a Cell)

Believes in ghosts (The Gumbus)

is a fan of a content creator who gets like no likes aside from him.  (The Gumbus)

Thinks hes as much of an artists as michalangelo (The Gumbus)

Is good at stacking cans and has the memory to remember how to stack them (The Gumbus)

Screams loudly and clings to his bros when scared. (Mrs. Cuddles)

Thoughts: He seems to like niche forms of art like can stacking. Once again, his impressive visual memory is on display with how he is able to remember how the cans were stacked. He can be a little oblivious and/or self-centered, as shown when he unintentionally stole Donnie’s thunder all throughout Cell in a Shell. He also seemingly has an active imagination as he believed in ghosts compared to someone more realistic like Leo (in all fairness, weirder things have happened in this franchise). He also seems to rely on his brothers for protection, being the youngest.

April:

 Wants to be acknowledged by a popular girl at her school ( Hypno! Part Deux)

Ignored the Donnie blocker  (Hypno! Part Deux)

Some guy at her school as a crush on her that she doesn’t reciprocate  (Hypno! Part Deux)

Is excited to go to a haunted store (The Gumbus)

Enjoys jumping into action (The Gumbus)

Thoughts: She’s a bit of a fish out of water among her peers, though she does want to fit in, even trying to download something that is clearly malware. Despite that she does have an admirer. She is shown once again to be brave, even enjoying going to what Mikey says in a haunted store.

Splinter:

Wont let his kids watch skateboarding bc he wants to watch commercials (The Longest Fight)

“I will never marry any of them off” (Mrs. Cuddles)

Sings opera well (Al be Back)

Thoughts: Still shown as neglectful. He won’t move off the TV for one day to let his kids watch their skateboarding. If Donnie’s response to Big Mama is any indication, he doesn’t openly acknowledge his sons’ efforts and talents. Like 03 Splinter, he can sing well in an Operatic voice (and likes TV)

[lionguarded]

❛ i need to get you out of my system. ❜ (Patrick. Idk. Don't ask. Prbs drunk? Maybe not. idk really)

@ofwings-andclaws (you know why, smexy stuff also below, beware)

silas thought it was over. he thought that after last time he'd never see patrick again & for quite some time he didn't. he .. wasn't feeling as ... good about it as he hoped - knowing that he made the right decision & yet, it felt wrong. not because he loved patrick & wanted to be with him instead of dante, because ... no. he didn't. he.. wished he did, truly, he wished he could give himself to the alpha & they'd live happily ever after. mother nature knew he'd deserve it.

but that just .. wasn't the truth. it wasn't what silas' heart desired - or his body, although he couldn't deny his... intimacy with patrick had been amazing. he wasn't the one silas dreamt of, he wasn't the one whose face silas woke to every morning - or scent. no. patrick was.. a memory. he was a what if, only that silas had lost the ability to choose long before they were brought to new haven in the first place.

& so he accepted that. silas didn't push patrick away because it made him feel good. no, quite the opposite, but it was the right thing to do. he'd never be the one for him. couldn't be. it wouldn't be fair to lie. patrick.. would understand that one day, he hoped.

it seemed like it was too early for that still, because patrick was definitely drunk & they were definitely more or less the only people left at the station at this time of night & he knew that patrick... knew his shifts - knew when he was in or when he wasn't. so, when he saw him, his tie undone, hair disheveled & red, dark circles around his eyes... he knew patrick came for him.

"jus' me.. here." he shouldn't have said that. inebriated shark would most likely think he had to read between the lines. but silas didn't mean it like that - he didn't mean to make it seem like he.. was available. he wasn't. it happened once, but he couldn't... it wouldn't happen again. if dante knew... no, no. he couldn't go there now.

but patrick just ... he just looked at him, his step.. unsteady at best - he could see him shift from one foot to the other as if he was thinking, debating... wondering what to do. then he strutted closer & silas wished he wasn't such a fuckin' overachiever, because then he wouldn't be alone in the goddamn archive with pretty much nobody within screaming distance in the middle of the fuckin' night. not that he was afraid of patrick, no. gentle soul, he couldn't possibly hurt him.

pain wasn't silas' biggest concern. glancing left & right, he .. didn't exactly see a lot of options. he could listen to him... right? silas.. owed him that. or something. folders & files set aside, his uniform definitely not made to be worn inside, silas leaned back against a desk as he waited, but patrick had no words for him. he kept strolling closer & closer until their noses almost touched - he'd leaned down, of course while silas had glanced up to meet his eyes.

a big hand reached around to grab at his jaw, but not... violently. thumb brushed across his cheek like he was trying to soothe him. but it wasn't about soothing. it was about fuckin' patrick trying to ... trying to.... do... something & silas... couldn't stop but melt into the touch. always so gentle.

silas would soon realize he'd made a big mistake, but when he did.. it was already too late, because patrick had a death grip on his face in seconds, had smashed their lips together, had pushed a leg between silas' & ground his knee against the omega's crotch. soft moan in response, because - whether he'd planned this or not, he wasn't unaffected. at all. chemistry between them had never been a problem - they had plenty. when their lips part, silas was breathing hard, but not hearly as hard as patrick, but he raised his arms to shove between them - hoping distance would calm them patrick.

"patrick... stop, wait." where was his brain right now? this.. wasn't like him. but patrick didn't listen, he tugged & tugged until silas' shirt gave in, buttons practically flying & there he went, latching onto his neck, teeth sinking into his skin. no, no, no. he shouldn't... once had been bad enough. patrick... didn't seem to think the same or he wouldn't be spreading love bites across silas' neck, shoulder & tugged on his shirt further to open the lion's chest for attention as well. he.... was leaving marks. deliberately? probably. fuck.

the alpha wasn't rough... per se. not in a scary way - not rougher than dante was, okay maybe a little, but silas was still not afraid. just... not in a good spot. clearly, patrick agreed because he pulled him off the desk, held him close against his chest for a moment while he ...sniffed him, taking in the omega's scent & something.. more than that, because silas had no fuckin' self control when it came to patrick.

he.. wasn't sure how he got there, but silas found himself bend over the same desk he'd sat on prior, with his belt somewhere ..not on his hips & his pants around his ankles with a hungry shark spreading even more bites across his skin, all across his fuckin' ass - how the ever-lovin' fuck was he supposed to explain those to dante? his fuckin' alpha-to-be.

"i need to get you out of my system."

the words .. didn't mean the same to patrick than they did silas - clearly, because this was the exact fuckin' opposite of what they should be doing to fix him. but patrick said his piece & before silas could even protest he felt warm breath against his ... against... where ... patrick really shouldn't be. fingers curled around the edge of the desk, his thighs twitched as silas tried to hold back a moan & failed miserably.

another followed & more joined soon, because ... well, because. patrick was good at this & silas .. didn't hate him, so when the alpha slid a finger inside him alongside his tongue & that finger expertly explored until it found that sweet, sweet spot of sin within him, he... was done for. he tried to hold on, tried to pull himself together & kick his ass, but... fingers trembled against the sturdy wooden surface instead & his breaths came in soft little pants mixed with strained gasps & that... only fueled the shark in his endeavors, moving quicker, more thoroughly, adding another finger.. switching between kisses to the omega's heated skin to bites.

it was... he couldn't.. "please alpha... please."

silas tensing around him when he came seemed... to do the trick, because he'd pulled them out faster than the fuckin' police & silas could swear he felt the atmosphere shift between them. he was drunk, it was fine. after letting himself take a moment to calm down, the omega pushed himself off the desk to pull his pants up, his shirt was tugged until it at least somewhat covered his chest again & he held his belt in one hand, the other came to rest upon patrick's chest when he was ready to spin around & look at him.

"we can't. patrick. you... you don't this ain't gonna make you happy." being the fifth wheel in a relationship that allowed now wheels. it .. couldn't be. catching the alpha in a little hug, silas shook his head against him a little. "find...someone who can be yours. it ain't gonna be me." it.... it never will be me. it ..can't. won't. i'm... he's... you 'n i can't be.. i’m sorry.”

[demonsandco]

hi!! i was wondering if you could do a headcannon of the brothers + dia, barb and simeon reacting to mc asking if they could do it in their demon/angel forms?

I sure hope that by “demon form” you meant my version of their forms, because only after I finished writing, did I remember that they have canonical demon forms, too, woops! But Simeon doesn’t have a non-human form in-game so hopefully I was right gjhfkfjh

Lucifer : It’s a rare occurrence to see Lucifer speechless, yet somehow they’ve managed to stun him into silence with a single request. Being intimate in his demon form isn’t something that’s even crossed his mind before, not seeing his true form as anything more than a tool for intimidation. With too many eyes, elongated limbs, and crisscrossing scars highlighted by patches of missing feathers, he truly doesn’t understand what they see in him to pick that over his much more palatable, human form. Yet, despite his initial shock and hesitance, he can’t find it in him to deny their request. If they really want to see his true form, especially in such an intimate setting, then he’ll humor them, but the entire time he’s preparing himself for some sort of rejection, expecting them to flinch away from his touch or to ask him to switch back. He’s astonishingly vulnerable in this form, and craves a positive reaction from them.

(cont under the cut)

Mammon : When he hears their request, Mammon’s relief is palpable. Having sex in his human from has always felt distant to him, as though he were wearing a costume or a skin tight suit. He’s desperate to feel their hands on his demon form, often fantasising about how their hands would feel running across his wings or buried in his feathers, but, while he may have not so subtly hinted at his desires in the past, he’s never had the courage to initiate such a thing himself. He’s immensely excited about their request, so excited in fact that he’s prepared to stop whatever he was doing and drag them off to somewhere private to have his way with them. It also encourages him to spend more time in his demon form around them, now that he knows that it won’t scare them away.

Leviathan : Levi’s knee-jerk reaction is to say no right off the bat. As much as he trusts his partner, he can’t help but think that there’s some sort of ulterior motive behind the request, refusing to believe that anyone would actually want to see his demon form, much less touch it in such an intimate way. While his true form grants him confidence and immeasurable power, in a relationship, it becomes his biggest insecurity. It takes a lot of patience and encouragement to convince him to go through with it, and even then he’s hesitant to even touch them, worried that they’ll think he’s creepy or gross and change their mind. It doesn’t help that he’s practically useless on land and that they’d need to join him in the water to comfortably have sex. He’s understandably nervous, but praise and affection go a long way in easing his worries, and once he gets a taste of how nice it feels, he finds himself asking them to be intimate in his demon form more often.

Satan : Satan isn’t all that surprised by their request. In fact, he’d been expecting it to come up sooner or later. After all, he wants to know every intimate detail about his partner, to see them in their most vulnerable state, so he assumes that they’d eventually want to get to know his true form intimately, as well. He feels some anxiety, of course, his demon form not exactly being human friendly, all rough skin and sharp edges, but he does a good job at keeping his fears at bay and enjoying the moment. It feels freeing, in a way, to have them accept him so readily, to allow something as monstrous as him so close in such a vulnerable moment. With every soft touch of their hands and kiss from their lips, he finds himself falling in love all over again. He craves their acceptance, and the fact that they can see him at his worst and still show him love speaks volumes.

Asmodeus : As much as he wants to tease his partner for having such a lewd suggestion, or to think of it as a chance to introduce them to something new and pleasurable, the only thing Asmo feels at their request is genuine fear. There is very little that he’s afraid of, but the idea of them rejecting him is terrifying, and he’s convinced himself that no one could possibly love him if they saw his true form. He’s very calculated in what parts of his demon form he lets people see, making sure he looks cute and unassuming at all times. He has no problems showing those parts of him to his partner, but the rest of his demon form isn’t anywhere near as cutesy, and he doesn’t want them to associate him with such an “ugly” appearance. Yet at the same time, he wants to be able to be himself around them, to have them see the parts of him that he’s kept hidden. It takes a lot of worry and hesitation, before he finally shows them his true form during sex, the shared lust giving him the push he needed. He’s so prepared for a negative response that their positive reaction is enough to make him melt against them.

Beelzebub : It’s not uncommon for Beel to be seen in a not quite human form around the house, his wings and horns unconsciously coming out while he eats or works out. Knowing this, he’s surprised that his partner has seen those parts of him and instead of being scared, they want to see more. He’s not the type of person to hide who he is to make himself more palatable. He trusts them to know what they want, and he takes their request at face value. At first, he didn’t think too much of it, but the moment he feels them touch his true form, watches them search for his most sensitive areas, he becomes addicted to the feeling. The fact that he’s even bigger than normal in this form excites him more than he thought it would, too, his massive frame making his partner seem tiny in comparison. Needless to say, he finds himself letting his demon form out during sex more often, both because he wants to feel their touch again and because he finds it more comfortable.

Belphegor : Belphie is genuinely surprised that they’d want anything to do with his demon form after how badly things went the first time they saw it. Hearing that they not only want to see it again, but that they want to see it in such a vulnerable moment is a relief to him. He’s always thought that actions speak louder than words, and he sees their request as a sign of trust, something he values greatly. He’s more than happy to show them his demon form, to let them explore his body and create new, much more enjoyable, memories. He also takes it as an invitation to show his demon form more often, taking every opportunity he can to let out his horns as he cuddles up to them or conveniently resting his tail within petting range. Now that he knows they’re not scared of his appearance, he wants them to associate his form with positive and intimate moments.

Diavolo : Diavolo is positively ecstatic to hear their request! He’s wanted to don his true form while being intimate with them since the start of their relationship, but he’s held back out of worry, not wanting to risk frightening them. Truthfully, he’s not too fond of maintaining a human appearance for so long, and he’s almost too excited to let out his demonic features. Hopefully, they had nothing else planned for the day, because he’s already got them wrapped up in his many wings, with his scaly face pressed against their neck. He plans to take his time with them, practically acting as though it was their first time together again, treating them like a priceless treasure in his clawed grasp, showing them everything he can do in his true form that a human could never hope to accomplish.

Barbatos : Barbatos has been waiting for them to ask this for quite a while, and he can’t keep the small smile off his face when they finally do. While he’s perfectly comfortable in his human form, he feels as though it greatly limits his abilities in the bedroom, and he hates to think that he’s not pleasing them to the best of his abilities. He knows that his true form isn’t something a human would be used to, though, so he waited until they were confident enough to bring it up themselves. He sees it as taking the next step in their relationship in a way, knowing that they not only are willing to accept him for what he is, but that they embrace it. With his extra limbs, slick tail and long, powerful tongue, he’s more than happy to show them how much more skilled he is at servicing them in this form, and he’s also surprised to realise just how sensitive his demonic appendages are.

Simeon : It’s rare for Simeon to feel the need to turn his partner down, but he finds himself initially denying their request when they first ask, coming up with some half baked excuses in an attempt to avoid hurting their feelings. Humans never seem to react well to an angel’s true form and he can’t bear to see them regard him with fear, especially not during such an intimate moment. While his angelic appearance may not be as monstrous as a demons, the extra limbs, many eyes and inhumanly tall frame are more than enough to make him look rather disconcerting. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t like the thought of hiding his true form from them, leaving him conflicted. With enough reassurance, he eventually feels comfortable enough showing them bits and pieces of his angel form at a time, and each night they spend together his human form slips away a bit more. At first it’s just his wings, letting his partner run their hands over his sensitive feathers and getting used to the extra limbs, before slowly showing them more of him. Soon enough, he reaches a point where letting out his angel form around them is like a habit, feeling like it makes their time spent together feel more intimate, especially now that he knows his looks alone won’t scare them away.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Come Back Home (Bucky x reader)

Come back home

Bucky x reader

Word count: 3,061

Summary: You were getting worse and were afraid to hurt Bucky, but unable to hide it. Instead of talking it out, you ran away. Embarrassed and afraid, you avoid the calls and voicemails from the man you left. But one night, you can’t help but listen to them, and you need to hear his voice.

Warnings: depression, reader blames herself, Bucky blames himself, anxiety attack, lots of tears, lots of fluff and comfort

I actually got this idea from @thelifeof.jana on TikTok, she posts different scenarios with comfort characters and I wanted to make it into a fic. 

Tags: @buckfics @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @stucky-on-spiderman @thatfangirl42 @thundering-barnes��  

A/N: It’s nearly finals week and it is CRUNCH TIME so I’ve been writing when I can, I apologize for the sporadic-ness of it. Thanks for sticking with me! 

A/N 2: I left a few things to interpretation, such as a nightmare. Insert what you want, I know everyone has different experiences and I wanted this to be as relatable to as many people as I could. I also left out when y/n gives an address because 1) I don’t know New York and 2) It’s likely somebody’s address in real life so...interpretation. 

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Your phone began ringing, piercing the otherwise silent house and startling you

Answer it.

You stared at the phone, taking a deep breath.

Ring 

You picked it up and turned it over, closing your eyes and letting a breath out.

Don’t answer it.

You looked at the screen again, seeing the name of your favorite person.

Bucky…

Ring 

Answer it

No. 

Please, I wanna hear his voice.

I can’t

Ring

Letting a breath out, you put the phone down and sat on the floor next to your bed, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Then you were left in the silence once again.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, waiting a few more seconds for the next noise. Sure enough, your phone made a sound, notifying you of yet another voicemail.

Another addition to your library of ignored messages.

You picked up your phone, clicking to see the messages you never listened to.

25 unheard messages. All of them from Bucky. 

Your finger hovered over them for a moment, allowing yourself to ponder listening to them. But you sighed, closing your phone and placing it back on the nightstand. You couldn’t listen to them. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be able to resist calling him back. And you couldn’t take that risk. 

You’d spent this much time without him. Once you heard his voice you’d be spilling everything to him. Just like you used to. Which is why you left in the first place. 

Bucky was special to you. He always had been. Despite all the trauma he’d gone through, he was still kind and gentle. He had been the one to pull you out of the dark place you were in at the time. He was always there to talk to you, listen to you, or help you take care of yourself when you just couldn’t anymore. He’d sat through many of your panic attacks and calm you down if you had a nightmare, just as you would for him. He would drop anything for you, you always came first.

And that was the problem.

He did too much for you, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. This man had already gone through so much pain and suffering and was finally getting better. He was going out more and the nightmares happened much less often. You were grateful for the love he gave you, and you loved him more than anything.

Which is why you couldn’t bring him down anymore. So, one day when he was out on a mission, you had packed up your few positions and left him a note.

Bucky,

I just wanted you to know that I love you so much, but I have to go now. I’m sorry. 

-Y/n

You had to keep it brief. If you said anything more you knew you’d say too much, and it would only make leaving harder. And if he knew you were leaving because you were hurting too much, he wouldn’t stop until he found you.

Not that he wasn’t looking for you know.

You had rented out a room in the cheapest hotel your could find in somewhere-New-York-City. It was small, it wasn’t the cleanest, but it was fine. You didn’t care, it was functional. Within hours of leaving, your phone started ringing. Not that you answered. You couldn’t, not when you would start crying once you heard his voice.

You got many texts and calls that night. 

What happened?

Where are you? Y/n are you okay??

Tell me where you are, we can talk this out, please.

You couldn’t bring yourself to read more than that. You silenced his messages and let the calls go to voicemail, never able to bring yourself to reject a call, instead letting it ring all the way until he got the same voicemail message every time.

Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!

The same fake cheery message every time, giving an empty promise.

What you didn’t know was that on the other end of the line, Bucky was shattering a bit more with each voicemail he left. 

Bucky’s POV:

He couldn’t understand what could have happened. Why you had left all of a sudden. He knew you had some bad days, and the first time he had read it he was terrified that you had done something. He usually was able to see when things were getting bad again but he couldn’t think of what he could have missed. When he saw that you had read his texts that night, seeing the word read appear after a few of them, he told himself that you were okay. 

Because he didn’t know what he was going to do if you weren’t.

What you didn’t know was that you had helped Bucky just as much if not more so than he had helped you. His nightmares happened less often because you were there with him every night. He was more outgoing because you had dragged him out to those first few bars and parties. He felt happier because he was helping you, and you made him feel safe and wanted.

And then you left.

He couldn’t sleep most nights, worried about you. Most of the nights he did sleep, he dreamt about you and everything that could have happened. He called you every day, multiple times, needing desperately to hear your voice. He withdrew again, only going on one mission when the team absolutely needed him. It was his only sense of purpose anymore, but it meant nothing compared to what you had meant to him

But you didn’t know that. Because you hadn’t opened any of his messages yet. 

It was late now, and Bucky was discouraged. It had been over a week since you had left, and his texts had gone unread ever since a the first night you left. It wasn’t a long time. But it was still too long. He decided to try your phone once more. 

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Bucky closed his eyes, begging you would pick up, silently knowing you wouldn’t.

Ring 

Ring 

“Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!”

Sighing, he got ready to leave a voicemail. After the beep he said, broken.

“Please y/n. Come back home.”

Your POV:

You sighed as yet another round of rings echoed through your apartment, hearing the notification soon after, notifying you of yet another new voicemail. 

You looked at the time. 11:03 P.M.

You sighed, knowing you should get some sleep. But no matter how tired you were, you knew that once you closed your eyes, you would have nightmares again. And no one would be here this time. 

You couldn’t deny it, you weren’t doing well. Your appetite had diminished and you relied heavily on caffeine to supplement the sleep you refused to get. Not that it helped your appetite in any way.

You would go through the motions, make it to work (most days) and get through the day just to...get through the day. You weren’t living really. Just surviving. You knew it was getting bad again, some nights so dark you weren’t sure if you would see the light the next day. Yet you couldn’t let yourself call him. You didn’t want to hurt him.

But you didn’t know that you had already hurt him more by leaving than you ever could’ve by staying.

You sighed, knowing that eventually, you were going to need to sleep. Might as well try to. You didn’t know if for sure you would have a nightmare, so may as well try?

That turned out to be wishful thinking.

Major wishful thinking. 

You woke up screaming, drenched in sweat and looking around the room frantically. When you realized it was just a dream, you put your face in your hands and felt tears immediately prick your eyes.

When was this going to stop?

You felt your chest contract as you realized the truth. It wasn’t. Not like this at least.

Just over a week and you were already at your breaking point.

Call him

You looked at the time. 2:47 AM.

You couldn’t call him now.

Call him.

You opened your phone and found Bucky’s contact, finger hovering over the name once again. At the last second, you clicked your voicemail inbox instead, scrolling back down to the first one on the night you left.

“Y/n?”

Your breath hitched as you heard his voice, fresh tears pricking your eyes. Not just from his voice and how much you had missed it, but also the absolute panic in his voice.

“Where are you? Are you okay? Why- why did you leave? Please, answer the phone, I need to know you’re okay.”

You clicked on another one from a few hours later.

“Y/n, please, I saw you read the first few texts I sent. Please answer the phone. We can talk this out, whatever it is just - please call me.”

Tears were falling from your eyes, and you didn’t have it in your power or even the desire to stop them. You flicked to another one that was sent a few days later, this one was longer. 

“Please y/n,” it started, his voice soft and cracking with emotion. “Where are you? Just - just tell me where you are, please. I need you. These past few days it’s like I hear your voice and then there’s nothing. I miss you so much. I’m nothing without you please....please just come back home. I don’t care what you did or think you did or why you left. I love you. And I could never stop loving you. I can come get you, we can talk this out. Please. I can’t do this without you. I - I’m falling apart.”

You were now sobbing as you flicked over to your text messages and clicked on Bucky’s name, seeing texts upon texts from him.

One of the more recent one’s caught your attention.

“I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”

Never, never in your heart did you ever think Bucky would think that he had done something to drive you away. Your heart broke, realizing he could be blaming himself for your leaving. It was never his fault. It could never be his fault.

With shaking hands, you pressed the phone icon below his name, bringing the phone to your ear as you listened to it ring.

You tried to control your breathing through the tears, falling apart after a few seconds of thinking you had it together.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Please pick up, I need to hear your voice.

Ring 

I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Ring 

Please, I -

“Hello?”

Your breath hitched and your eyes flew open. Your words got caught in your mouth, having no idea what to say. Bucky, on the other side of the line, hadn’t even looked at the caller ID. He hadn’t fully fallen asleep yet, but the tiredness was evidence in his voice.

“Hello?” he said again

“I’m sorry,” you choked out.

Bucky’s eyes flew open and he pulled away his phone, seeing your name across the screen. All exhaustion was gone from his body, and he heard you trying to control your breathing on the other side of the line.

“Y/n?”

“I’m so sorry…” you said again, breaking out into sobs.

“Y/n, can you tell me what’s wrong? Where are you?” he said, panicked and getting out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shoes.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m so sorry,” you said again, not being able to say much else. 

“Y/n, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay. But I need you to tell me where you are, can you do that for me?”

He waited for a moment while you tried to pull yourself together enough to repeat the address of the hotel.

As you did, Bucky was already out the door and in the car, starting it and putting you on speaker, driving as fast as he could to the hotel and ignoring all traffic signals. It was the middle of the night, and you were not okay.

“I’ll be there soon, angel, can you keep talking to me?

“I’m sorry Bucky…”

“It’s okay y/n. You’re okay. We’re okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

His words didn’t reach your ears, your breathing getting harder to control and your tears fell faster. You had fucked up, this was your fault. Why did you call him, now he knows where you are and you were going to burden him with all your shit again. 

He could hear your breathing become labored as he sped further towards your location. He tried talking to you more but he soon realized that he wouldn’t be of much use until he was in front of you. His heart was breaking and he was hoping nothing was seriously wrong. 

But you wouldn’t have called him like this if nothing was wrong.

Clenching his jaw, he scanned the street signs for yours, knowing the city well enough to know he was close. 

When he pulled up to the street, he couldn’t help but wince at how dingy this place was. It was run down and the smell was putrid. He was so sad that this was where you had run off to. He took his phone, saying how he was here but it fell upon deaf ears. You weren’t calm enough to hear his voice from the phone you had dropped when you had moved to cover your face instead.

Bucky took the stairs 3 at a time, getting to your room in record time. He pounded on the door, trying the knob even though he knew it would be locked. Calling out your name and getting no response, he decided to break the door in. It was barely hanging on its hinges anyway.

“Y/n? Y/n where are you?” he called out, met only with the sounds of your labored breathing. He followed it to your room, where you had curled yourself into a ball against the headboard, hands covering your face as you struggled to breathe. 

He walked over to your side, reaching out his hand but thinking better at the last moment. He needed to make sure you knew that he was there, he didn’t want to scare you.

“Y/n?” he starts softly. 

You lifted your head and looked around yourself wildly, startled when you saw the figure of a man standing in front of you, trying to push him away. He grabbed your arms and you tried to break free

How did he get in here? 

What does he want with me? 

Why- 

Your eyes settle on his. Light blue eyes, staring right back into yours. You knew them, you were safe with them. Your own eyes, red  and blotchy flash with realization and you let out a sob. 

“Bucky…”

He took you into his arms as sobs wracked your body, rubbing an arm up and down your back in efforts to calm your shaking form. He was repeating comforting words over and over again. You clung to his shirt as you kept apologizing over and over again, not knowing what else to say - or even how to say it. 

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Shh, y/n, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m here. I got you.”

You tried to focus on his heartbeat, steady and strong, as you tried to take deep breaths. Eventually your tears slowed down as you still clung to him, tears drying on your face as you were able to deepen your breathing to match his. His hand still rubbed up and down your back as the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

You took a shaky breath. “I - I’m so sorry Bucky.”

Bucky took a deep breath and held her a little more tightly. He could still feel her heart racing. What could she possibly have to be sorry for?

“What happened y/n?”

You felt tears prick your eyes again. Sadness, shame, embarrassment and made you feel sick to your stomach. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you were able to speak. 

“I - I don’t know.”

“Please y/n. Tell me why you left.”

“I just… I was… “ you swallowed and let out a shaky breath. “It was getting bad again,” you said, voice barely audible. 

Bucky clenched his jaw, angry at himself that he didn’t see it. “Why didn’t you tell me? I told you you could talk to me about anything.”

You screwed your eyes shut. “That was the problem…”

Bucky pulled you back to look at you. “What?”

Your eyes darted everywhere but Bucky’s face. You didn’t want to see the pained expression you knew he’d have right now. You took a deep breath. 

“I just… you were doing so well. And I - I just felt so bad for bringing you down all the time. You would drop anything for me, and you were always there and you were always perfect but I wasn’t.” you finally looked at him. “And I left because I realized I was never going to be.” You shook your head slightly. “I didn’t want to put you through that when you were doing so well.”

You looked away, unable to look at Bucky’s sad eyes any longer. Bucky broke the silence after a few moments. “You were the only reason I was better.”

 Now it was your turn to look at him confused. “What?”

“You brought me out to places when all I wanted was to hide. The nightmares stopped because you were there to make me feel safe. Every time I helped you, I was helping me too,” he said, voice cracking. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You weren’t too much for me, you never could be.” 

When you still looked unsure, he moved his hand to cup your cheek. “It’s okay to let people help you, y/n.”

Tears pooled in your eyes once again. That had been what you had said to him when he began closing himself off, be it an intense nightmare or being triggered. Back when things were bad. Like they were for you now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s okay.” he whispered, hugging you again. “Let’s go home.”

[earlgreydream]

fed up.

| bucky x reader | smut |

anon requested. reader comes without permission and he punishes her by edging her everyday for like a week straight & your shitty week at work turns into you acting out at home and Bucky is absolutely fed up with your behavior

a/n: both of these are 🥵🥵🥵

cw: edging, orgasm denial, subspace, etc

“Watch your mouth,” Bucky warned after the second time you’d been disrespectful to him.

Your week at work had been incredibly stressful. Your boss had yelled at you, you got blamed for not getting things done on time, even when it wasn’t your fault, and you’d been overwhelmed to the point of tears. You were fed up, and it had put you in a bad mood. You were typically sweet, but the stress brought out your bratty side, and you just couldn’t help but let your frustration seep into your relationship. Bucky was not a dom to test, but you didn’t care.

“You can watch my ass as I walk out the door,” you snapped back, and Bucky turned to you, pushing his tongue against his bottom lip like he always did when he was mad.

“Come here.”

“I’m busy.” You didn’t look up from where you were trying to peel an orange.

“Come here, now.”

“I said-” you started, but he was on his feet and behind you before you could finish your sentence.

The fruit was pried from your hand, Bucky having no patience for your attitude. You were flipped so your back was against the counter, and Bucky grasped your jaw in one of his large hands.

“Knock it off with the fucking attitude.”

His gaze was warning, and you could tell that he was getting more and more frustrated with you. The look in his silver eyes was dangerous, a clear indication you were on your way to getting exactly what you wanted.

You glared at him, dead set on acting out. Your mood was sour, and you wanted to push Bucky’s limits. You wanted him to he as riled as you were, not caring about any consequences.

“What attitude?” Your tone was obnoxious, and Bucky couldn’t take it anymore.

He let go of your jaw, stepping back to look at you. Bucky took a second to breathe, and to think through his next actions, bringing his fiery anger down to a simmer.

He knew you were doing this to get a reaction. He was very aware that you were likely doing this to get him to bend you over the bed and spank you, that was usually the endgame to your brattiness. He was tired of your behavior, and he wasn’t going to give in to what you wanted.

He leaned against the counter opposite of you and picked up your half-peeled orange. You watched him finish it, and take a small slice before handing you the rest of it. He glanced at you briefly before walking back out of the kitchen, leaving you stunned.

You hadn’t expected that, and you followed him to the living room, where he returned to the novel he had been reading when you mouthed off to him. You watched him for a few moments before timidly climbing onto the couch beside of him.

His sudden calmness and disinterest scared you more than his anger, and your attitude crumbled to pieces. You were afraid to bother him, but you laid down with your head on his lap as he read. He set his hand on your side, his thumb lightly brushing over your top every once in a while. He got lost in the novel, and you were nearly asleep on him when he finished.

He finished the book and set it aside, looking down to see you dozing on his lap. You woke up as he carefully slid out from under you, and you watched as he went to shower.

You laid back on the couch, sighing from boredom. Your mind started to wander to what Bucky looked like in the shower, soap lathering all over his body. 

You unbuttoned your jeans and slid them down your legs, giving in to how horny you were. You closed your eyes as your hand traveled under your panties, getting yourself off to thoughts of your boyfriend in the shower. 

Bucky leaned against the wall and watched you, lured out by the sound of you moaning his name. He watched as you came around your own fingers, your back arching and a loud, high pitched whine leaving your lips. 

“You’re really trying to get into trouble, doll.”

Fear sparked through your belly at the sound of his irritated voice, and you quickly removed your hand. He was glaring at you, displeased by you coming without permission. 

“I didn’t think you would know,” you admitted honestly, having expected him to take a much longer shower, or hang out in the back of the house.

“No? So it’s okay to break the rules as long as I don’t find out?” 

“Well, no...” the whisper caught in your throat, and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“So what were you hoping to happen?” Bucky was causing embarrassment to spread through you, and you felt like a child being scolded for bad behavior.

“I just wanted to get off, because you didn’t-”

“You were acting like a brat, so I didn’t feel that I should help you.” 

The statement hung in the air, and your plan and deviance collapsed, your plan to blow off some steam with Bucky quickly fell into shambles. 

You didn’t need to explain yourself. Bucky knew your frustrations. Although he was sympathetic, it wasn’t an excuse for your behavior.

The thick silence made you tense, and you swallowed hard, regretting your infractions. Bucky helped you up and told you to go shower, going to busy himself with something else.

You were stunned, opting for a longer shower, a little anxious to face Bucky. When you stepped out of the water, he handed you a towel, waiting for you.

“I’m sorry,” you broke the silence.

Bucky pulled you toward him, giving you a kiss against your wet lips. You looked up at him, and he nudged his nose against yours before speaking.

“Dry off and go lay on the bed. No point in dressing yet.”

You nodded, doing what he asked, feeling sullen. The desire to push back against him and be a brat was gone, faded with his lack of aggression. You were afraid now, unsure of what he was going to do to you, because he certainly wouldn’t let your behavior go unpunished. 

You stretched out on the bed, opting to lay on your stomach, hoping your boyfriend would appreciate the view of your ass. Bucky slid his hands up the back of your thighs, squeezing you before pulling your hips up. 

“Just let me know if it hurts,” Bucky kissed the back of your shoulder before thrusting into you. A sigh escaped your lips and you squeezed the sheets between your fingers as Bucky maintained a steady rhythm, rocking into you and filling you up. 

“James,” you moaned his name, causing him to snap his hips faster against yours. 

You tightened around him, teetering on the edge of an orgasm. You couldn’t get there without any stimulation on your clit, and Bucky knew that. He had memorized every inch of your body, everything you needed, and everything you did. 

Your muscles went limp as you sank against the mattress, letting him pound into you until you felt him spill into the condom he wore.

“James, please,” you begged, pushing your hips back.

“Please what, doll?” Bucky was punishing you now, you realized.

“Please let me come!” 

You had twisted to look at him, and he flipped you onto your back in front of him before stepping off the bed to clean himself up.

“Next week.”

“Next week?” It was almost a scream, and he shot you a look.

“Gotta teach you not to be disrespectful,” Bucky kissed your lips, and you pouted, upset by the aching you felt from your needs being unfulfilled. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He laid down with you, letting you curl up in his arms. He held you tightly, kissing you until you grew so tired you couldn’t stay awake. 

Every day that Bucky got home from work that week, he bent you over whatever surface you were on, fucking you roughly but keeping you from orgasming. By the fourth day you were crying, aching with a more intense need than you had ever experienced.

“Please, I’ll be good, Bucky, I’m-” you whined, tripping over your words as you begged him, only to be shot down with the sweet smile that hid sadistic pleasure of you being denied.

Being denied had put you in an especially subby headspace, and when Bucky was around you clung to him. He made sure to take extra good care of you, knowing you were being good and not getting off by yourself. You’d learned your lesson, hesitant to ever do it again after the week you’d been through.

When it was finally the end of the week, you were almost in subspace from Bucky just picking you up and carrying you to bed.

“You’ve been so good doll, I’m so proud of you,” Bucky kissed you as he laid you down on the mattress, practically tearing your clothes off of you.

“I want to be good for you, James.”

He looked into your wide, glassy eyes, and he pressed his lips against your forehead, reassuring you that you were good, and you made him so happy. You slipped into subspace, your mind clouding up. Bucky recognized the signs, and he kissed you all over and loved on you.

“I’m going to let you come. Sound good, doll?” Bucky hummed against your skin, and you nodded.

“Yes, please.”

He smiled at your sweet voice, dropping between your legs. Your fingers tangled into his hair as his mouth pressed against your sex, his tongue moving through your folds and swiping over your clit. Your whimpers mixed with the lewd sounds of Bucky eating you out, knowing it was the fastest way to get you to come. He loved the feeling of you tugging on his hair, and he pushed two fingers into your heat, dragging against your g-spot while his tongue continued to work at your nerves. 

You were crying his name as your legs shook, the pressure finally snapping and granting you the release you had been so desperate for. His name echoed off the walls as you screamed, tightening your thighs around his head. 

When he drew up, a pleased grin adorned his face. You struggled to catch your breath, the aftershocks sending little jolts through your body. He couldn’t stop smiling at how adorable you were, and you reached up to him with weak arms, wanting him to hold you. You stammered his name softly, still deep in the subby clouds, and he gave in once he cleaned his face.

“I’m coming, doll, no tears,” he hummed, pulling you onto his lap.

“Don’t like it when you edge me,” you whispered, mumbling softly. He laughed and you buried yourself deeper into him, pulling the blanket tighter over the two of you.

“I’m done edging you,” Bucky promised, handing you a glass of water and gently urging you to drink it. He went through all of the steps of your aftercare, his full attention on you as he broke you out of your cloudy head. 

“Next time I’m upset from work, can you just bend me over your knee?” You teased Bucky shyly.

“If you ask nicely.”

You promised to be nice, grinning as he squeezed you in a hug.

[delimeful]

Snapshot: Release

new WIBAR Snapshot! 

warnings: mention of trafficking, PTSD, mentions of funeral rites, catharsis, crying, sad hours

-

Patton liked to think himself an optimist, but even he could admit that there were some days where things were bad.

He didn’t like to, of course. Gratitude was a virtue in Ampen culture, and he had carried it with him gladly when he first started spacefaring. It was easy, most days, to find something to be grateful for and thank the sea’s tidings.

Most days.

Though it had taken time, Patton had learned to loosen his grip on the idea of the foam edge, the bright side to a bad situation. He still found the cup half-full, of course, but he also knew that sometimes things were hard, and it was okay to be sad about that.

He was still getting to the part where he told others when he was sad, but that was okay! He was working on it, and as Logan always said, growth took time.

A few rotations after Virgil and him were reunited with his best friends, Virgil had one of those days.

It had started innocuously enough. Patton had been sprawled over Virgil’s legs, continuing his not-so-secret agenda to show Roman and Logan exactly what kind of Human Virgil was. Not harmless, certainly, but-- what was the Common word? Disciplined.

They both knew how easily Virgil could hurt him, could hurt any of them. Patton had been there watching while they escaped, when Virgil slammed into aliens much stronger than an Ampen with unforgiving force. There was no question of his capability for violence, when faced with a threat.

But that was just it. Virgil knew he could hurt them, even through simple carelessness, and he worked so hard not to.

It was clear in every movement. How could Patton feel the subtle tremor in Virgil’s hands when he held him, the attentive stillness of his body when Patton perched on him, the careful softness of his fingers carding through feathers, and feel anything but treasured?

Virgil had protected Patton with everything he had, and Patton was going to return the favor however he could. That’s what friends were for, after all.

So, Patton was nestled into the crook of Virgil’s legs, listening intently as he told a story from back home, occasionally piping in with questions or a story of his own.

Logan would have metaphorically killed for the opportunity to even just listen in on these firsthand Deathworlder anecdotes, but Virgil was still avoiding the Ulgorian with skillful determination. It was a little saddening, but Patton knew better than to push.

Everything was still settling down from their last incident; he didn’t want to disrupt the delicate balance again by shoving Virgil out of his comfort zone.

Instead, he just listened, happy to see the little differences that had overcome his friend since they’d finally gotten free of that horrible cell.

This was far from the first time they’d sat around storytelling.

There was little else to do in their cell, and besides, it was one of the fastest ways to share words, telling tales tall and small and only pausing whenever a word didn’t quite translate or their voices went out. Back then, though, Virgil had shared his stories with an almost bittersweet air about him.

It reminded Patton of the way Crav’n held wakes, long stretches of time spent gathered around their pyre, sharing stories, remembering and honoring the deceased in every way they could. It was as though Virgil was giving up those little pieces of himself in advance, for someone to remember after he was gone. As though he was performing his own funerary rites.

His coatfeathers fluffed up sharply at the thought, and he shuddered a few times to try and settle them back into place. That time was past, Virgil was safe, and so it bore no further thought.

Unaware of the way Patton’s attention had strayed, Virgil ran a hand over his back, shifting feathers back into alignment with surprising delicacy for such a large being. Patton trilled lowly in pleased gratitude, wishing wholeheartedly that Roman would stop glaring long enough to notice this aspect of the Mindscape’s newest resident. They could get along so well if they gave each other a chance, he just knew it…

“Hey, Patton?” Virgil asked, shifting from the bright, long vowels of Patton’s native language to the lower register he used for his own home tongue. Patton perked his antennae up to show his friend that he had his undivided attention; Virgil usually only used English when he was asking something he didn’t want anyone else to overhear.

Nobody was nearby to listen, but that didn’t stop Virgil from casting a guilty look over his shoulder when he admitted, “I snuck into the map room yesterday.”

The ‘map room’ must have been referring to the nav room, where they plotted courses. It had a manual pilot control station as well, which was why Roman had been safeguarding it from Virgil as though he thought the Human would suddenly take up space piracy and seize control of their vessel.

Patton certainly didn’t have any problem with trusting Virgil in there, so he didn’t even twitch at the confession, only narrowing his eyes in silent encouragement for his friend to continue.

Just as Patton no longer shied away from bared teeth, Virgil no longer assumed narrowed eyes signified anger or doubt. He had picked up on a fair amount of Ampen body language during the course of their friendship, and so his lips quirked to the side slightly before he took the invitation to explain.

“I just wanted to know where we were, I guess. It was difficult to make sense of the maps-- It’s not like I’ve had a lot of opportunities to check them out on any of the other ships I’ve been on,” he said, and only the way his eyes rolled up slightly told Patton he was mostly-joking, the hesitant way he did sometimes.

Patton knew their time spent with the smugglers was something everyone on the ship would prefer to forget, including them, but things like that changed a person. They couldn’t be denied. If small, slightly-bitter jokes like this one were how Virgil honored that change, Patton could support it.

“I’d be mappalled with their terrible hosting skills, if I were you,” he chimed in, and he couldn’t help the way his feathers’ glow increased at the sight of Virgil’s smile, even muffled behind a hand. “Do you want to learn how to read the maps?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered, unable to conceal the too-quick way he leapt on the opportunity. There was a pause, his face going slightly pink, but Patton didn’t comment, feeling a swell of sympathy in his upper heart. It was hard to remember sometimes, with how adjusted Patton was to the wayfarer lifestyle, that Virgil was immeasurably far from everything he’d ever known.

“I mean, yeah,” he corrected, clearing his throat in a way that Patton had once mistaken for a growl, “but that’s not actually-- I was trying to see if I could recognize anything. Any stars, or-- or planets, y’know?”

He was avoiding eye contact now, staring at a distant point. He hadn’t moved his hand, which meant that Patton could feel the tremble in it when he butted his head into the point of contact. He crooned soothingly, the type of sound a parent would use to soothe a hatchling.

“I, um. Well, I figured if I knew how far it was, I could figure out how much it would cost to make that sort of…,” he fumbled for a word Patton would know, slipping back into Common for a few words, “extra trip. But I couldn’t find anything familiar. So, I... I thought I’d ask. Like I probably should have in the first place.”

Patton waited, but that seemed to be all Virgil could manage. “Ask what?” he prompted gently. “Space is big, but if there’s certain skysights you miss, I’m sure we can get started on finding them! What are you looking for?”

Virgil’s attention dropped down to him and then flitted away again, not a single sign that he’d even heard Patton’s pun. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and then dragged his gaze back to meet Patton’s.

“... Earth?” he managed, in one of the smallest voices Patton had ever heard from him.

Oh.

Oh.

Patton’s antennae flicked back in dread before he could stop them, and Virgil’s face twitched slightly, making an expression that he’d never seen before. His chin had dimpled, his jaw clenched, tense as though waiting for a blow.

Waiting for Patton to tell him he couldn’t go home.

This wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it, Patton realized. Far from it, it seemed as though Virgil had been cradling this question like an egg surrounded by downy feathers, keeping it tucked away, waiting desperately to be secure enough, safe enough to ask. To try hoping for a future again.

He was so afraid to want, and Patton couldn’t help but whine slightly, because this time, he was right to fear the worst.

They couldn’t go to Earth. Patton knew, because it was the first thing he’d talked to Roman and Logan about, that first day, as soon as Virgil had retired to his new room.

It wasn’t a matter of should or would. They couldn’t, not even if they all agreed to try, not even if they were willing to go directly against the council’s edicts. They didn’t have the equipment to get past the barricade undetected, they didn’t have the knowledge to slip between patrols, they didn’t even have the cloaking capabilities they’d need to land on an uninformed planet. They didn’t have enough funds to try and obtain any of those.

Honestly, they were barely scraping by as it was. Roman and Logan had halted their normal cargo runs to search for him, and their savings had suffered as a result. It was part of the reason they had been taking more jobs, any they could find that wouldn’t put them in the sights of any potential Human-hunters.

He’d done his best to shield Virgil from realizing just how much his presence had changed their routine, but going by the way he thought he’d have to pay them just to get back to a home he never should have been stolen from in the first place, he hadn’t been successful.

Patton glanced to the door with a half-formed desire to go get Logan, who had patiently walked Patton through every possible scenario until it sunk in that they really, truly couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t fair. Patton had chosen this life, and he could still go home, and see his family, and greet the ocean breeze. Virgil hadn’t had a choice in anything, hadn’t had the freedom that spacefaring brought so many, and now he didn’t have the option to return home, either.

“It’s not— I don’t want to leave you,” Virgil forced out, looking a little frantic. “I mean, we’re friends, right?”

He used the Ampen version of the word, the one that translated literally to ‘treasured one’, and could be used by any who had bonded closely, blood or nest-sharing aside. Patton nodded firmly, mouth clamped shut to keep from sobbing.

“Right,” Virgil continued, near-pleading, “so it’s not you, I promise, and I can find a way to pay back my debts, I know Roman wants me gone and Logan wants s-samples, and I can do that. It’s fine, it’s worth it, just… I miss home. So bad. Even the parts I used to hate.”

“I’m sorry,” Patton said in the most honorable way he had, the low, agonized call of I repent and I regret. “If we could— I promise we would, Virgil. It’s not your fault, you have no debts here. You deserve to go home.”

Virgil’s face was miserable to even witness, the way faltering hope had been crushed under the weight of his worst suspicions being confirmed. Patton reached for him automatically, his attempts to comfort his friend coming out as a soft empathetic cry instead, and that wounded sound was all it took for Virgil’s self-control to finally break.

He crumpled all at once, a breezecatcher with its tether cut, crashing to the sand below. The top of his head butted gently against Patton’s side, a mirror of the way Patton so often sought comfort from him, and he began to cry in earnest, as though releasing months of built-up misery.

Disciplined, Patton remembered with a pang of bitter sorrow, and let his Deathworlder finally weep for everything that had been taken from him.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Broken trust, pt.2

Part one

Summary: Too quickly does the Darkling find his rogue Sun Summoner, but his arrogance will cost him. 

Warnings: slight fluff, angst

==========================

Faith – Y/N’s floated away from her a very long time ago, like a leaf being pulled away on the tide, and into the sea to become lost and alone, likely drowned. But she had faith in Aleksander. She always trusted him, not doubting he’d protect her. That’s why this is much more painful than it had to be.

“Running doesn't matter, I'll hunt you down if I have to.” Kirigan spoke through gritted teeth, as if he knew she could hear him, feel the palpable anger and betrayal he struggled to contain.

And still she ran. She ran without looking back, cutting through the forest with her breath caught in her throat. She ran, flinching with branches leaving cuts across her face, but she couldn’t stop. If she stopped, he’d find her and if he found her, Y/N didn’t know if they’d both walk away unharmed.

Finding a cave, she ventured inside. She sat curled up against a wall, shivering in the darkness. She clutched the kefta she wore in Little palace, clinging to his already faded scent. Just hours ago, his arms were wrapped around her, his lips claimed hers. She was his, undoubtedly in love with the very man who turned out to be the enemy.

A sob escapes her, whimpering as her hand covers her mouth to assure her silence. Risking being found because she needs to cry is stupid. Aleksander would expect her to cry.

“Where have you been?” The Grisha asks, breathless as it seems.

His presence alone commands awe, respect and his charisma can make any human stop and forget what they’re doing so long as it pleases him. He is magnetic, electric, someone you can get lost in before knowing what’s happening.

“Answer me.” He insists, lower his head to her level. His eyes narrow at her quivering lips, just then realizing she’s shaking.

“Leave us!” He orders the Grisha who came running once the light reached them outside the tent.

He taps her shoulder, the air around them turning static with contact, “What is happening?” Her shaky voice sounds and his eyes soften.

“You truly don’t know?” Raising an eyebrow, the Grisha steadies Y/N before letting her go. “My name is general Kirigan and you”, he points at her, his forehead wrinkling momentarily, “are the Sun summoner.”

A breathless chuckle escapes her, shaking her head in disbelief. “I’m a map-maker.”

“No”, Kirigan raises an eyebrow. He steps closer, his hands gripping her arms gently, “You are a Grisha.”

Swallowing thickly, her eyes flood with tears. One by one, they make tracks down her cheeks, stunning Kirigan.

“You need not worry”, wiping the tears off her left cheek with his thumb, Kirigan smiles softly, “I will protect you.”

Huffing, Y/N shakes her head. “I never should have trusted him.”

Suddenly, she felt her airways constrict. Gasping for air, she clutches her chest, unable to breathe or think clearly. Darkness etched into her vision, blurring it until there was nothing left. She felt her mind drift, the last she heard was a whisper she once adored.

“I’ll carry her back.” Aleksander states, his eyes never moving from her. He didn’t expect to find her, especially not as quickly as he did, but the ring she wore lead them straight to her location. Once again, she trusted the wrong person and once again, it brought them closer together.

Upon his return, he had laid her on his bed, hoping to speak to her somewhat peacefully this time around. If she could just feel the way his heart aches for her, maybe then she’d believe him he’d never do anything to bring her harm.

Groggy, Y/N groans. Her hand moves to her forehead, rubbing her temples.

“You’re safe”, Aleksander tells her, but the sound of his voice made her open her eyes wide, sitting up so quickly her vision blurred.

“St-stay away!” She pushed herself back, hitting the headboard.

“I won’t hurt you. I saved your life." Kirigan leans in, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"How? By taking my freedom, mind and identity?" She snaps at him, her nostrils flared with frustration and anger bubbling up to the surface.

"The chains are broken now.” Kirigan sighs, “You know the truth.” Wetting his lips, his eyebrows knit together, “Are you really free?"

Shaking her head, she narrows her eyes at him, "You are still my captive, no matter how beloved you once were."

Giggling, Y/N stumbles back and into the table. A few figurines fall to the ground, but it doesn’t seem to phase Aleksander who smirks as he rests his hands at each side of the table, essentially trapping her.

Raising an eyebrow, she looks up at him, batting her eyelashes. “Are you about to ravish me, oh sweet Darkling?”

Chuckling, he cranes his neck just enough for the tip of his nose to brush hers. Hearing her inhale sharply and hold her breath, Aleksander couldn’t help but peck her lips. It felt innocent enough, something that wouldn’t scare her but would satisfy his need to feel her closer to him.

“Don’t go looking for trouble, sunshine”, his lips twitch, amused how her hands have clutched his hips, pulling him closer to her.

“Maybe I like trouble”, she whispers, breathing heavily so much so he could count each and every breath passing the lips he wished her could kiss for an eternity, uninterrupted.

Biting her lower lip, her hand rests on his left cheek, caressing the scruffy beard with her thumb. “Come on, Darkling”, she teases, “What are you afraid of?”

“You”, he responds without a second thought. His response came so quickly, catching Y/N off guard. “I’m afraid of loving you”, he exhales through his nose, his clenching under the palm of her hand before he speaks again, “Afraid of losing you.”

“Please”, crosses his lips and Y/N’s heart skips a beat. Aleksander is a man of many virtues, but begging wasn’t one of them. He’s the man who demands and makes things happen. Such men don’t strike you as someone who plead often. And this was Aleksander pleading, asking her to do something irrational, to trust him, the only thing she couldn’t do.

“What could you possibly say to make this okay?” She swallows thickly, averting her gaze as if looking at him for too long could destroy her very essence.

"They called me the Darkling as an insult. You were the only one who used it as a term of endearment." Aleksander reaches for her hand, but she pulls away once again. “Let me put your mind at peace.”

Pressing her lips, she exhales through her nose, “You made me into a weapon. I'll never find peace.”

“I didn’t make you into anything”, he remarks, “You were born as my equal, to be my other half.”

Nodding to herself, she swipes her thumb under her left eye, “I sure feel like your equal now”, glancing at him she bites the soft flesh on the inside of her bottom lip, “You can still do the right thing. I believe there is a good person inside of you. The man I fell in love with must be somewhere underneath the darkness you're flaunting. Be him.”

His eyes narrow, clouded by his own sorrow, “It's too late to go back. You can't even look at me.” Standing, with his back turned on her, Aleksander allows tears to fill his eyes, “Do you even love me?”

“Of course I still love you, but trusting you is a different question.” With a heavy sigh parting her lips, she stands too. “You can’t force me to stay with you and expect unconditional love. That’s not how this works.”

Blinking fast, Aleksander refused to look at her. All she’d see is his weakness – his feelings for her have made him soft, too easily swayed by emotions and he mustn’t reveal it.

“You can’t catch sunshine, my dearest Darkling”, she wraps her arms around his waist. Resting her right cheek on his back, between his shoulder blades, she pulled him into her embrace, “You need to let me go and find my own way.”

“You’d be dead by nightfall.” He snaps, trying to push her off but she holds onto him even tighter, silently weeping.

How can she stay when every cell inside her body is screaming for her to leave? How can she leave when every single molecule she’s made up from is aching for just one more touch?

“If you love me, you’ll have to trust me”, her voice is shaky, unsteady as she feels. “Staying will make me resent you. I need some distance, time.”

“I can’t”, he shakes his head, wiping his tears away before she can see any.

“Then I need you to remember”, her hold on him lessens.

With a frown etched on his forehead, he turns to her with a lump at the back of his throat, “Remember what?” His words rip through her like glass shards do to skin, but he can barely tell if she’s shaking because he’s started to tremble himself.

A smile breaks on her lips, just as bright as the light she once emitted to contrast his. “Remember I love you.”

And once again, without a warning, Aleksander found himself on his knees.

He didn’t love her, he desired her most of all. He desired her gaze on him as desperately as the air he needs to breath. He desired her skin against his as the food he’d need to live. He desired her lips to speak his name in ecstasy more than the water as he thirsted for her light more than anything else in this world.

And in his desire for her he had lost himself entirely. He had lost his cold exterior, becoming putty in her hands. He had lost his ruthlessness he planned to aim her way, directing it to any and all who’d harm her. He had lost his resolve to stay away, so he’d give into her with all he is.

So with that desire and the loss of him, he hated her for all of it. He hated her with burning passion. He hated her so much it consumed him.

Or so he told himself so. For in the end, he did nothing to push her away.

He couldn’t.

Not now. Not ever.

Logic demanded him to stop her, but his entire logic went out the window the day he found her in his tent, stealing his grapes. He’s no longer a part of the living anymore either. She’s become his cornerstone and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, it didn’t change. It’s become factual.

He didn’t hate her, not even a little, not at all. Aleksander Morozova, Aleksander Kirigan, The Darkling, the unforgiving general, the Black Heretic, the Shadow King – all of him loved all of her, even as she had put a knife through his heart. The very heart that beat for her was now bleeding because of her. A betrayal, he realized, the very same as she had felt when she learned of his lies.

“We will see each other again”, she croaks, her tears crashing around him.

Gasping for air, he desperately fights the pain so he can keep his eyes open longer. This might not kill him, but it will slow him down. This time around, she’ll run and as she takes off the ring, he realizes it won’t be so easy to find her again.

She kisses his lips, so softly he’s unsure if it’s a well crafted dream.

“Moya lyubov'”, he manages to say as she stands and heads to the door. He can’t speak, but he’s screaming on the inside, hoping she’d look back at him. If she does, there was hope.

Reaching for the knob, Y/N sighs, glancing over her shoulder at her Darkling with unimaginable pain tearing her apart. But sometimes you have to break in order to create something more beautiful. She knew he’d hate her for it, but she walked out the door anyway.

PART 3

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

You Can Hear It In The Silence

Summary: Sneaking around can be fun, but sometimes the silence is just too quiet, or falling in love with your best friend. 

Pairing: Spencer x Fem Reader (SMUT) MINORS DNI 

Word Count: 3.7K 

Warnings: Smut Minors DNI (It’s smut, nothing kinky but very romantic and soft) oral (both receiving), kissing, lovebites and tame scratching, penetrative sex, unprotected sex in a committed relationship(like last time, let me know if I missed anything) 

Author’s Note: Minors please DNI, I have a lot of other fluff pieces that are totally acceptable for you guys to read. I hope that this isn’t too schmaltzy because that just gives me agita. This is based off You are In Love by Taylor Swift and maybe a little bit of Dress

You Can Hear It In The Silence 

It’s a blurry line, going from best friends to dating. There’s nothing like playing that dangerous game of stolen glances and surreptitious touches in a dark room. Eyes ranking over figures decked out in soft cardigans and tweed blazers or black dress pants and silk blouses, desperately wanting to see more, touch more, taste more. The senses could only sated for so long before the desire for more bubbles to the surface. 

Across the table, Spencer watches as Y/N sips the red wine JJ brought over. It’s hard to not watch her; to not completely hone in on the way her eyes are light with laughter, or the way her hair cascades down her shoulder, blending into the dark green color of her dress. Spencer kills himself trying to not look at her because he knows if he does, he’s done. Or rather, he knows that if he lets himself love her openly, he’ll only end up hurting themselves. So, he sits there, in Derek’s backyard trying to pretend that he’s not staring at Y/N. The only thought that comforts him is holding on to the idea that Y/N is doing the same thing. He supposes that’s what happens to relationships that blossom from the shadows of secrecy. In their attempts to not hurt others, they end up almost destroying themselves. 

He decides to pretend to find Garica’s cuckoo clock fascinating. He stares at the wacky colored birds and swinging arms entirely too long. In the corner of his eye Spencer watches the next couple of moments unfold. JJ and Garcia drunkenly bounce over to Y/N; they put their arms around her in a fit of giggles and smiles. Garcia’s arm extends around JJ’s neck and she lets out a loud announcement for a “Selfie” or rather what Spencer can only assume is a photograph of the three of them. The phone, even though Spencer does have some disdain for the invention, sure does serve its purpose. In all the light rays bouncing around and the blinding flash, pure magic happens. Spencer is aware that it makes him sound like a total sap, but he’s jealous of the phone. He’s jealous that his eidetic memory may only allow him to remember the Y/N’s notes in the margins of her case file or the annual “Happy Birthday, Genius” on a Hallmark card once a year. What he would give to just be able to capture her in the light of company, not hanging on to fleeting memories in the shadows.

Lost in his thoughts, Spencer does not notice an unusually drunk Unit Chief wandering over to the empty chair next to him. All of his awkwardness, Spencer is not sure if he should acknowledge his drunken boss or stop staring at his secret girlfriend. It’s at time like these that Spencer resorts to reciting Crime and Punishment or 100 Years of Solitude either seem ironically appropriate. 

“Reid,” Hotch says, leans in close, far too close for the usual uptight and business-like Aaron Hotchner that Spencer has grown to know. 

“Hotch?” Spencer answers, his voice laced with trepidation and anxiety. 

“You gotta stop staring at Y/L/N. You’re gonna rat on yourselves if you don’t stop staring at her like that,” Hotch tells him, his breath might smell like whiskey, but his eyes tell Spencer that he’s a lot more sober than he seems. 

“Like what?” Spencer counters, choosing to play dumb at best as he could, or at least just slightly clueless. 

“That doesn’t work on me, Reid. You should stop looking at her like you love her,” 

Spencer looks at his boss, at Y/N, and back at his drink. Was he seriously that transparent? 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hotch. Y/N and I are-” 

“Spence! Spencer!,” Y/N shouts as she practically runs over to where Spencer sits with Hotch, watching the rest of the team. 

It’s like Hotch isn’t even there anymore, it’s like no one is even there. God, it might sound sappy, but Spencer doesn’t care anymore. It’s going to kill him playing it like he doesn’t care about Y/N, especially considering he’s doing a mediocre job. 

“I have a really bad headache, Spence. And I need you to take me home,” Y/N asks him, and Spencer notices an eager glint in her eyes that tells him all he needs to know. 

“Keep this between us please, Hotch? Just until we figure it out,” Spencer almost pleads to Hotch who answers with a dismissive wave. He leaves them there to figure out their plans to sneak out of Garcia’s undetected. 

“Hotch knows? Of course you know,” Y/N says with a roll of her eyes and a quick wink at Spencer, whose growing embarrassment from the situation is only second to his excitement at the night to come. 

“Spence, go say goodbye for me? I’m going to head to your car. You really gotta sell that I’m feeling sick,” Y/N tells him, standing a little too close and dipping her hand a little too low on Spencer’s waist for this to be a friendly gesture to any of their friends that might pass by. She takes a peak around the room and reaches her hand into Spencer’s pocket. He gives her a startled glance, but they both know that the thrill of sneaking around like this is kind of worth it. 

As Y/N ducks out of the room, Spencer makes his way to where Emily, JJ, Garcia, and Derek sit at the kitchen table taking shots of a clear liquid Spencer thinks is tequila. Great, Spencer thinks. Him and his secret girlfriend, who as far as the team knows is his best friend, have to sneak out of Garica’s place in front of a pile of loud drunks. Spencer feels his phone buzz, altering him that there is a very impatient Y/N waiting in the car for him  

“Uh, Garcia, Y/N’s got a really bad headache. I think it’s an onset of one of her migraines that she gets from red wine,” Spencer lies through his teeth, completely terrified from the way Emily glares at him. It’s like she can see right through him.

“So you’re taking her home?” Derek asks, speeding along the process and for that Spencer considers himself forever grateful. 

“Yeah, you know we are neighbors after all,” Spencer reasons. 

The awkward silence in the kitchen is only interrupted by JJ’s quiet humming to the song that plays in the background. Derek and Emily share a knowing glance as Penelope starts pouring the next round of shots. 

“I’ll see you guys on Monday, Y/N is waiting for me in the car,” Spencer says without a further glance to his very perceptive colleagues. 

“You go take care of Y/N, Pretty Boy!” Derek yells as Spencer walks out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him, perhaps a little too eagerly. 

When Spencer gets to his car, he stops himself before opening the door. In the light from the lamppost, Spencer can see his reflection in the back window of his car. He runs a hand through his hair and attempts to fix the crookedness of his tie. Smiling to himself, Spencer gets into the driver’s seat of his car and is greeted by Y/N, who even in the dark makes him feel alive. 

“Hey,” he offers nervously. Even though they’ve been together loads of times, there is a tingle of intimidation that settles in his heart everytime she looks at him. 

Never the one to shy down from a confrontation, Y/N leans in and places her hand gracefully on Spencer’s neck and her face looms close to his ear. Her voice is low and seductive and Spencer swears he can feel himself melt at the feeling of her being this close and him able to touch her. He brings his hands up to rest, one on her upper thigh, placed bravely under the slip of her silk dress, and the other draws circles around her elbow.. 

“Spencer, I need you to drive us home,” Y/N tells him a voice that Spencer knows he could never deny. 

He doesn’t answer her, because the silence speaks for itself. They can hear all they need to know in the silence. The quiet way that their bodies seem to just gravitate to each other. Spencer’s hand cups Y/N’s thigh and her fingers graze the back of Spencer’s neck. It’s those quiet touches that tell the other what they are too afraid to say aloud. 

The quietness settles between them even as they pull into the parking spot. It’s like they’re dance partners, completely a routine of sneaking in the shadows effortlessly. Or like they’re actors in a play, pretending that they’re not dying to play the role in reality. It’s a dangerous game that they play. But all of that is forgotten, pushed to the side as Spencer opens the door and the curtain rises. 

Y/N initiates the kiss, pushing Spencer down on the couch. She straddles his waist, her silky green dress spills over her thighs and Spencer is in awe of how the color contrasts against her bare skin. He’s not an artist, but looking at her he’s sure he has laid his eyes on the most beautiful being he’s ever seen. He might not believe in magic, it’s all just science and mind tricks, but he’s nothing but transfixed at the women sitting in his lap. 

“Spencer, please get these clothes off,” Y/N commands in a voice that gives away how badly she wants him. 

“Wait your turn, Y/N” Spencer says in a teasing tone that brings out Y/N’s sly smile. 

“Then do something!” Y/N shouts, getting even more impatient than she was in the car. 

“You’re so beautiful like this, I-I mean you’re always so beautiful, but you’re just so-” Spencer stammers over his words, and the only thing he’s sure of is that his insecurity is the biggest turn off. But Y/N continues to surprise him each and everyday, and tonight is no less. 

“Slow down, baby. It’s just me. There’s no need to go so fast right now. We have all night,” Y/N soothes, craning down her neck to plant wet kisses down Spencer’s neck. She’s probably leaving marks, Spencer thinks, but his desire to be seen as her’s outweighs the teasing from Morgan on Monday. 

The fact that it’s Y/N perched in his lap, kissing down his neck and wiggling around in a way that she can feel everything does nothing to fend off the adrenaline that Spencer’s high off of. 

“I need to see your face,” Spencer says holding her by the shoulders. He reaches around her as she leans back to unzip her dress. She stands so it falls to the ground in a pool of dark green fabric. Her body is out in the open to him and Spencer’s flushed face must be on fire by now. 

“I need to see your face, Spencer,” Y/N says in a way that Spencer knows that he can’t disobey. 

There’s that silence again. That loud silence, filled with lines of unsaid love poems and quiet love songs. The silence that says the perfect things that Y/N deserves to hear, but Spencer is too scared to say. Three months too soon to say, I love you, Spencer tells himself. His mind spins so fast that he feels guilty for neglecting the naked woman standing before him. 

“If you’re gonna fuck me Spence, we’re gonna do it in a bed. I love you and all but this couch is not going to handle me when I get a hold of you,” Y/N says as she runs off into his bedroom, leaving Spencer dumbfounded in her wake. 

Spencer swallows down his fears and anxieties. He sheds his clothes off during his walk to the bedroom. Y/N lies down on his bed and Spencer won��t let the silence speak for him this time. 

“How are you this perfect, Y/N?” Spencer asks as he crawls in between Y/N’s legs. He rests his hands on her upper thighs and looks at her like expects her to answer his question. Spencer dips his fingers down to the place Y/N wants him the most. In the low light from Spencer’s lamp he can see how his fingers glisten. 

“You took too long at Penny’s Spence, I had to start without you,” Y/N explains, a slight flush to her cheeks reminds Spencer that she too is just as affected by him as he is by her. 

“You touched yourself in my car?” Spencer asks pressing a firm kiss on each side of Y/N hip bones. He dances his long fingers up to her stomach, where her own hands sit as if she’s shielding this part from him. 

“Yeah,” Y/N tells him, slightly breathless from the small kisses Spencer places on her stomach and back down to the softest part of her inner thighs. He tells himself that he’s got to slow himself down before he loses it at the site Y/N wriggling and moaning at his smallest touches. 

“I left you a present in your glove compartment, Spence,” 

“Huh, who knew I had such a naughty girl,” Spencer says with an unfamiliar bravery in his voice. Unsurprisingly, Y/N picks up on this and decides to see how far she can take it. 

“I have needs, Spencer. Do you think you can take care of them?” 

Spencer doesn’t respond, but ducks his head down to drag his tongue across her clit, feeling how wet she is. He refuses to break eye contact and realizes how obsessed he would get if she’d let him do this for the rest of his life. Spencer’s eyes carefully watch how Y/N’s facial expressions morph in intense pleasure. It’s like a science experiment. When he plunges his tongue into her, she closes her eyes. But when he blows softly on her inner thighs then leaves hot, wet kisses her fingers come up to latch onto his scalp. He peers at her and waits for the way she moans when he slips one, then two fingers in her. He curls them up in such a way that he knows drives her crazy. 

“Oh my God, Spencer! Please,” Y/N cries, twisting in the sheets. He continues at the pace he’s set, chasing the blissful feeling of her coming undone because of him. The moments leading up to her release, Y/N tears her hand away from Spencer’s head and connects her palm into his. Holding her hand, Spencer whispers praises and presses small kisses into her pussy. 

“Come here and kiss me now, baby. I need you,” Y/N whispers, grasping onto whatever parts of Spencer she could touch. Her fingers move to cup his face and she holds him like he’s made of glass. In between the soft sheets and even softer touches, Spencer knows what it’s like to feel precious. Y/N cranes her head forward to attack Spencer’s neck with kisses. She relishes in the soft and supple skin of his neck. Once again, Spencer finds himself not caring that she’s going to leave marks. 

“How are you this perfect, Spencer?” Y/N asks Spencer, who for the first time in his life does not have an answer for a question. 

He closes his and lets himself float around in the fuzzy feeling in his brain. All he can focus on is Y/N’s mouth. The way her praises make him believe in forever and the way her kisses litter his cheeks, eyes, chest. 

“You’re the perfect one, Y/N. I don’t even compare,” Spencer says as he watches Y/N twist underneath him and somehow maneuver herself so he lies beneath her. 

“None of that, Spencer” She tells him sharply. Y/N drags her nails down Spencer’s chest, not leaving scratches, just light discoloration. Her head and mouth is dangerously close to where his hardened cock lays leaking between his legs. 

She grasps around the base and just gingerly touches him that Spencer is sure he’s going to be blinded from the pleasure. Suddenly he feels almost self conscious. His anxiety is not unknown to Y/N, who lays a comforting hand in his, mirroring her earlier motion. 

“You don’t have to Y/N. I mean if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think just because I’m your boyfriend and I did it for you-” Spencer rushes out, terrified of what Y/N’s reaction will be. 

“Look at me, Spencer. Do you want me to suck your cock, baby? Look at me,” Y/N says in a voice that Spencer doesn’t recognize and doesn’t dare ignore. 

“Yes,” he breathes out, his voice shakes as he feels Y/N’s mouth take in his tip. He hisses at the sensation. The smallest movements set him on fire. Spencer’s large hands come up to hover over Y/N’s shoulder blades.

“Don’t be quiet, baby. I want to hear you,” Y/N says before she deepens her hold of. She releases him to glide her younger down the side, sending shockwaves of pure pleasure in Spencer’s entire being. 

“You like that, Spencer. You like my mouth on your cock, baby?” Y/N eggs him on. 

Even though he’s lost the ability to speak, Spencer’s moans bounce around the room. He knows he’s a whimpering mess below Y/N, but he’s chasing the feeling of release shamelessly. 

“Y/N, Y/N. Baby, you gotta stop. Or I’m gonna cum right now,” Spencer chants, tightening his grip on Y/N’s hand. He forces himself to calm down to focus on Y/N, but it’s a little difficult when all Y/N is focusing on him. 

Spencer sat up, his back against the headboard, and he pulled Y/N forward so she rested in his lap. She grins up at him, and Spencer can feel his heart squeeze at the look. She’s going to be the death of him, but at least he’ll die a happy man. 

Much to Y/N’s pleasure, Spencer lets out a lewd moan as she grinds down, pressing her wet pussy to his throbbing cock. He feels a little ridiculous getting so worked up and she’s not even inside him yet. 

“Please, Y/N. I need you, I’m not going to last long,” Spencer utters. He says her name like a prayer, it’s a hymn to her ears. 

“I got you, Spence,” she tells him, sheathing his length into her. 

Spencer pulls Y/N in closer so that their chests are flush together. Among the chorus of moans and mumbles of praise, Spencer reaches down to hold Y/N’s hand. He’s not a believer in soulmates. He was sure that he’d never find his match. Never find the one person who’d share his dreams and become his dream. But sitting there, Spencer cannot deny that he’s tethered to Y/N. Their hands link together and mouths refuse to let go, searching for any exposed skin. 

“Spencer,” Y/N groans, leaning her forehead into his. She looks into his eyes and Spencer dares to wonder if her eyes are glassy because of him. It’s magic how someone like her can make a believer, a dreamer out of a man afraid of living. 

Spencer closes his eyes in pure ecstasy. Y/N sucks along the tender skin of his chest, causing him to flush at her ministrations. He can feel her tighten inside him, so he snakes his fingers down to stroke her clit, exciting moans and more fervent kisses along his chest and up to his ear. 

“Just like that, Spence. You’re so perfect my sweet boy,” 

“Y/N, cum on me, cum on me baby,” Spencer cries, finally able to let go as he feels himself come undone underneath Y/N.

Spencer’s whimpers and constant moans set Y/N over the edge. She mewled into Spencer’s shoulder, kissing and nipping the sensitive skin. As her orgasm rakes over her body, Y/N tugs on Spencer’s hair, suddenly quite happy he’s keeping it almost shoulder length. 

Both of them feel their bodies come back to life, their breathing steadies and their hearts seem to beat a little bit slower. Gone were the array of moans. Gone was the burning desire to chase their release. Gone was the sound of praise. All that stands between Spencer and Y/N is the silence. The silence that says quite enough for them. 

The silence that’s braver than Spencer. 

He’s quiet as Y/N flops to his side, entirely spent and tired from the company of friends and strenuous activities that just transpired. 

“I know what you’re thinking, Spence” She offers, turning to her side to look at him. He gives her a straight faced smile, unsure of how to approach the subject. He knows that she knows what he’s thinking about, sometimes even before he’s thinking about it. 

“I meant it, Spencer. I really do love you,” Y/N professes, finally breaking the silence. Spencer swallows as his eyes scan the girl before him. 

“You’re my best friend, Y/N,” Spencer says quietly, and suddenly realizes that it’s probably not what a girl who just confessed her love for you wants to hear. But he knows that Y/N understands-- she understands him. 

“What I mean is, I want midnight coffee nights with you. I want small talk and deep conversations and everything in between,” Spencer says quickly. “I want you in secret Y/N, but I want you in public too,” 

Spencer watches his confession settle into Y/N’s face. He’s scared for the rejection, for the daylight to break on his dream.

“I’ve waited for you to say that for so long, Spence,” She says, leaning in to close the gap between their naked bodies. Spencer pulls her in to rest his chin on top of Y/N’s head. It’s comforting being there, feeling her heartbeat in the tune of his own. He feels safe, wrapped up around in Y/N.

They’re sweaty and smell like sex, but Spencer doesn’t care. His hair is messy and he’s exhausted, but Spencer doesn’t care. His neck and chest are littered with lovebites and marks, but Spencer doesn’t care. After months of running around in the shadows, months of letting the unsaid say what he desperately wants to say, months of being patient but dying with anticipation, Spencer doesn’t care. Spencer doesn’t care because on Monday morning, Y/N won’t drop his hand when they walk into the bullpen. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!!

Taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ 

Comment or send in an ask if you’d like to be tagged (please specify if you don’t want to be tagged in NSFW, but make sure your age is in your bio)

[angstyantoinette]

Yandere!Howl Jenkins Pendragon x Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Slight NSFW [mention], kidnapping, manipulation, toxic relationships. 

We all know that Howl is very much a ladies man; he knows exactly how to pull women in, and captivate them so that they fall in love with him easily. 

For Howl, it’s all a game. He catches the eye of a girl, no interest on his part of course. She just happens to be in his line of the game. He knows what to say, how to present himself to perfectly fluster and simultaneously intimidate every other person there. He doesn’t venture outside the castle often, and when he does, there’s an air of fear; there’s such awe left in his wake. 

And he loves it. This drama queen feeds off it.

But we also know that Howl is a runner. He cannot commit to anything, hating the restricting nature of feeling tied down. I mean, he abandoned his apprenticeship. With this in mind, Howl makes the most unlikely yandere. But he actually is highly dangerous, although he doesn’t really look like it.

He’s afraid of himself in a way. He understands that he is quite powerful, and after practically going rogue, Howl gets his kicks with spontaneity, with the complete unexpected in life. 

When he meets you, he expects you to give him all your attention, like everyone else. But you brushed past him, looking at his fancy clothes, his blonde hair, sapphire eyes, green jewels swinging from his ears, and the beautiful pendant around his neck. He was picturing it now in his mind, getting ready for the look of adoration, the tense of muscles, the scarlet blush upon your cheeks.

But you looked away. You gathered your belongings, perhaps stowing them away in your satchel, and you just looked away.

What?

Is that it?

You weren’t even interested in him. Howl was still so stunned he had nothing to say, no suave and seductive voice to tempt you into his charms. He was in awe of you; you looked at him with such indifference it made his head hurt. Not with heartache or pain or anything like that. But he could not deny that he wasn’t curious.

Well, of course, not only does this not sit too well with Howl, he is very much a delusional person in this kind of state. However, he is incredibly smart and calculating and he balances these two personalities scarily very well. 

Like I said before, Howl is a very dangerous yandere, and he thrives on his blantant misinterpretation of a mere womanizer to scamper away, unsuspected, unscathed, and free to do what he likes.

Howl doesn’t really hold on to grudges that much, or anything; when he loses interest, he tosses things away. Not all though. 

You, you, YOU. 

Why won’t you leave his weary mind after days of being apart? Why is his  conciousness telling him to look for you, and not relent until he’s succeeded in doing so? Despite all the signs, all of the telltale signs that shows he’s just a little too invested in you, he writes it off as his bad habits resurfacing to play another game. 

And, of course, Howl Jenkins shall oblige!

Howl is a patient man, make no mistake. He finds it enjoyable to watch things go down for a while; no matter how trivial, poking fun in plain sight at innocent civilians never gets old. 

When he finally gives in to trying to find you and play with you for a little while, Howl pushes aside all distractions to do so. That means traveling through counties and villages, towns and cities until he’s found you again.

Howl is desperate for love and affection that isn’t because of his looks. He really wants someone to love him, not the image he puts across, not just above the surface with his tantalizing blue eyes that pull you in and trap you. 

You saw through that. You barely gave him a second glance and while it peaked his interest initially, it annoyed him for days on end. Usually being teasing and indifferent to Calcifer’s complaining, he found himself snapping and getting easily annoyed. Markl began to subtly keep his distance on bad days. 

Now, though, he’s become delusional. In Howl’s mind, you are to blame for his interest, for his inability to keep his mind off of you. You are the sole reason for his burgeoning obsession that seems to be running the show. He tells himself that when he finds you, it’ll leave. This painful, utterly agonising sensation of having you in his grasp, playing his game will go far away. He’ll seduce you, definitely, take you to bed and have a good time and his obsession and all-consuming desire to play the game, just you and him will just...go. Poof.

Except when Howl does find you, he doesn’t feel like letting go of you. 

Ever. 

And while this does take him by surprise, it all starts to make sense for him. 

Because looking at you now, bundled up in his arms, crying in anger and confusion, he sees in the stars that this was meant to be. 

He waits until he’s sure you’re asleep [more like passed out from exhaustion-] to really, really get a good look at you. He notices for the first time your cheeks and how they’re squished against his pillows and wrapped up in his sheets so perfectly, it’s like you’ve been here many times before. He notes how relaxed your closed eyes seem to be, no furrowed brow or scrunched tight eyelids; just complete and utter serenity. 

You’re just so perfect. Could you be a god, some kind of deity perhaps?

He’s in love for the first time in a long time. He may have let it slip by then, selfish and uncaring, but now?

Oh no, Darling, you don’t stand a chance. Howl will do anything to keep you hidden from those bastards’ eyes  protect you, to love you and most of all, make you see that he’s the one for you.

 Always.

You sat in the boiling water filling the bathtub, limp and tired, unresponsive as Howl bustled around you, his task completely focused on getting you ready for bed. Once upon a time, you would have refused to call him by name; instead you settled for ‘bastard’, ‘prick’, and ‘I hate you’. 

You even tried to sleepily mutter these things under your breath, not caring now that you were being lifted out of the bath, and dressed in a white gown. You cared even less when feeling your mind slip away into a soft sleep, curling into your body with comfort, clinging onto Howl’s pillows.

However, in front of his ‘housemates’ [ you could only guess what a talking fireplace could have to do with his wacky moving castle ], you were frightened. Howl didn’t even have to say a word; he had you smiling and  acting somewhat normally in front of ‘Calcifer’ and the little boy, Markl, you thought his name was. 

But you could always feel the sliver of magic take a hold of your wrists from behind, a little voice telling you that staying here was for your best interest, what more could you want? It promised you eternal love, devotion and affection, coated with a sickly sweetness only Howl could pull off. 

All in all, you stopped resisting after a while. Howl was annoyingly patient it seemed, and it frustrated you to feel as though you were a child all over again. He smothered you, insisting on doing the most trivial of things for you, never snapping back at you, never doing anything to remotely answer back at you in the same manner whenever you resisted his help.

It didn’t click until you had cursed at him mercilessly, screeching and crying, pulling at your combed hair, that by acting like this; he looked better than you. He looked above you. Compared to your tantrums, Howl looked calm and collected and completely willing to help you in any way possible. 

But why was he doing all of this? 

Why did you wake up in his bed, with his lanky arms draped all over you as if you were lovers? Why was he spoiling you, letting you wear his clothes, feeding you? What was he trying to convince you of? 

“Darling, I have some new nightclothes for you. Do you want me to help you into them?” He was slower, more gentle tonight as he strolled around his room. He was delberate though, not forceful exactly, but it was more of an atmospherical warning. You could just tell; if little Y/N tried anything, something would happen. 

Some kind of spell, or perhaps even a curse to teach you a lesson.

Ah, there it was. Another gift. 

Did he think you’d simply tolerate him because of his lavish, his blatantly excessive gift-giving?

Why did he look at you with such sickening adoration on his flawless features? 

At last, his bustling seemed to cease and he took a longing glace back at you. He probably only meant it to last a few seconds but the longer he gazed, it just became a cold and glassy stare. 

You knew the feeling of ‘zoning out’ well, but his eyes became darker and darker. Some kind of shadow must have passed over him or something, because he snapped out of his eerie trance and threw himself onto the bed. 

You yelped in surprise, pulling your hands to your sides, hastily spreading them out on the soft quilt like spiders, your legs pushing your body back ever so slightly, eyes wide. 

Howl chuckled, but it was filled with a sinister undertone that you weren’t used to at all. He snapped his head to the right, his hands already unraveling a silk-encased package. 

“I saw these while in the town today and couldn’t help myself.” 

Pulling out the brand new nightclothes, you unwillingly let out a pleased gasp. It was a set of matching pyjamas. They were satin, smooth to the touch and a beautiful shade of emerald, not too bright at all, but not dark either. 

Sometimes, you enjoyed this sort of treatment from Howl, albeit, very guiltily. He was always polite, courteous and kind, willing to help you with anything, but you also couldn’t help but feel a sense of horror, lingering long after you fell asleep. As if it were some kind of parasite. You just couldn’t for the life of you place your finger on it. 

You had learned to never keep him waiting for anything; he was a busy man and as much as he liked to have free reign of his work, he liked to be organised too.

This time you had apparently spent too long admiring your gift rather than answering him.

“Isn’t it lovely, Y/N? I thought it would suit you divinely.”

“Y-yes, it’s beautiful, thanks so much H-Howl.” 

Not wasting any more time, he sat up from his previous position on the bed, and somehow managed to gracefully snatch the nightclothes away from your trembling hands, and shooting you a look as if to say, well, take your clothes off. That was the less sinister version. Howl’s eyes took on a new darkness that growled, or I’ll do it myself. 

Your hands flew to your neckline, undoing the small ribbon that held the soft cotton on you, and allowed Howl to thread his fingers through the material, travelling towards the bottom of the garment and pulling it over your head whilst you lifted your arms, feeling the comfort of the soft sleeves peel off your arms. 

The blush on your face was unmistakeable. It was another embarassment being bathed by him, but this? Stripping you out of your clothes? It didn’t help that he was aware of your inner battle, and having an annoying, but otherwise barely noticeable smile on his face. 

His hand reached over with the satin nightclothes, urging you to take them. You did, carefully so, slipping them on against your flushed body, his cerulean orbs watching intensely. 

As if he didn’t want the image to go away. 

When you had finished dressing yourself, you stood up and  tentatively walked to the mirror, even slightly stumbling on your feet, and gasped in pleased surprise. You looked...beautiful in the nightclothes. The satin felt so smooth on your skin, and the emerald shade brought out your e/c eyes nicely. 

A few moments later though, you gasped for a whole different reason. Howl slipped his hands around the front of your torso, letting them wander further and further down, reaching your thighs with a renewed urgency, pressing you back against his body.

“I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’, darling.” His tone was teasing, but you could detect a hint of anger, annoyance was it? As quickly as the shadows came they departed, leaving you at the mercy of the wizard Howl. 

“No matter,” he rasped against the nape of your neck, placing soft, heated kisses against your skin,”You can say thank you, whilst begging on your knees.”

----------------------------------------------------------

sorry about that ending, it just needed to come to an end before i drove myself mad with the procrastination :)

but what did you think of it?? there really isn’t enough Howl’s Moving Castle fics, let alone yandere ones, but i like how it came out. 

to the person who requested this, Howl, is 100000% the gentle dom we ALL NEED OKAY

[tsunderedoctor]

Okay one more Law for ya!, and Law confessing his love to his female crush, thinking he’ll get denied but to his surprise she very much feels the same and now he’s got a girlfriend…. he didn’t expect that to work so well, now he’s got a Purple (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I love how it goes from female crush to Purple very quickly- 😂😂

Thank you, Pebbsie, you know the way to my heart: soft Law moments 🥰

Babe Below~!

Trafalgar D. Water Law

He told himself he didn’t like you. That his reasons for making sure you were okay and what guys you were talking to was because of his role as captain, nothing else. Despite what the others may say or think, he DID NOT like you.

You have to know Law really well to tell he has a crush on someone. I think Penguin and Shachi might be the only two who can tell, and sometimes they even struggle at times. Even as teens, Law kept to himself and it would be rare for the brunet to tell the older boys he thought someone was cute/attractive. He would rather die than let them tease him for the week-

he does his best to act the same around you, but you occupy his mind more than he wants to admit. He will still treat you like a crewmember or friend (depending on who you are-), but you can always feel his eyes linger a bit longer on you than with others.

The only way he would ever confess his feelings, is accidentally. Man would rather die than admit any vulnerabilities, it’s nothing against you, he’s just afraid of losing you or getting you hurt because of his selfish desires. 

I feel it might be a whisper while he thought you were asleep, a drunken confession (very rare outcome-), or even Bepo innocently asking if you two were a couple.

If you ever question the circumstance, he will deny everything associated with it. A full on tsundere at this point! Will grumble and complain about how the issue is bothersome and he wishes you would drop it. If you decided to confess yourself, he’s going to be quiet and keep his hat low so you can’t see his reaction.

On the inside the man is legit dying. He didn’t want this to happen, you were supposed to just be a crewmember or an ally, not someone he actually would cry for or die for. He won’t talk for the rest of the day, hoping his cold actions will deter you from him.

Fight this man! Hunt him down and tell him to stop being a brat! He might not accept your returned feelings in that moment, but he swears he will take them into consideration for the future. 

Now that feelings have been stated to be mutual, he might treat you a bit more differently than others, a silent exchange between the two of you, that you’re more important than the others might think.

Tag List: @chloe-nanami @musical-apple @luxiditea @macdonaldsmanager @onepieceya @undercoverweeeb @fantasyfairysworld @athenaportgas and whoever else wants to join in!