#TLOU episode 5 spoilers

[readerconfused]

if you hear someone crying it's me

THE LAST OF US | 1x05 & 1x08

[sb25p]

Warning: THE LAST OF US SPOILERS: EPISODE 5!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED EP 5, PLEASE SCROLL PAST!!!!!

Also this an essay!! 🥴 tbh I write these more for myself than anything else…my Tumblr is my mf journal.

I normally don’t like to write posts that involve spoilers for current series/movies etc but TLOU episode 5 affected me in such a powerful way, I feel like I just need to vent it for a min.

Can we talk about the final scene? How hopeful Ellie is when she wakes up only to find out Sam has unfortunately become infected. Sam then attacking Ellie for Joel and Henry to realise what’s happening and Henry to raise the gun to Joel.

The actor, Lamar Johnson, absolutely killed that role (no pun intended…too soon?)

Like we see his face go from confused to protective yet terrified, shocked, panicked, regretful, devastated, remorseful, angry and numb.

I could go on and on about the diversity of emotions that Lamar portrayed in that moment to capture the reaction of Henry losing Sam. The one person he loves more than anything and has sacrificed everything for only to lose at what he believes to be his own hands but as we know is due to being infected.

It was never Henry’s fault. Henry didn’t kill Sam. Sam was already dead. The infection took him. Henry actually saved Ellie from being harmed by Sam. He’s still a hero regardless of what he’s done. He continued to protect others but without Sam, what is his purpose? Sam to Henry is purpose. He always has been. Now that Sam is gone, Henry doesn’t feel any purpose and ultimately that causes him to take his own life without any hesitation.

Then we have the other parallel of Pedro Pascal in that situation playing the role of Joel Miller.

We see Joel (not for the first time) jumping in ultimately to protect Ellie. He’s terrified. He’s seeing her at risk and scared and she’s calling out to him in that moment for help.

Joel talks earlier to Henry about being relied on. He says that it’s easier for kids because no one is relying on them but that’s not really true is it? Because although Sam relied on Henry for protection, Henry relied on Sam for purpose. He loved him. He lived for him because he had Sam by his side.

What really got me in that moment after Henry shoots Sam, is Joel. The way his face turns into a realisation. An understanding.

It doesn’t happen right away.

I feel if you watch Joel’s face just after Sam dies, he’s asking for the gun because he’s afraid Henry will turn on the both of them, pin a blame on them maybe that Sam got infected because of them but when Henry says “what did I do?” You can see that Joel’s face falls. He goes from appearing assertive and protective of Ellie to becoming understanding and gentle towards Henry.

I think that is because Joel recognises that feeling all too well. It’s not hard to think that Joel would have had a time after Sarah’s death where he must have thought that life wasn’t worth living anymore. That his purpose in life has been ripped from him so abruptly and if his sole purpose now is merely to survive, what kind of life does he have anyway?

It’s why I always saw Joel to be one of the strongest characters in the whole of the TLOU universe. He was a father to an only child who was taken from him during the time the world was falling apart anyway. Not only was his own beautiful little world ended in that split second, the one he shared with his daughter, the whole planet was being ripped apart.

What motivated him to keep on living? We could say Tommy but a parents love like Joel’s is so incredibly powerful. Even my own parents once said to me (and I’m one of four children) that if I ever took my own life, they couldn’t go on themselves without me. The true love of a parent is absolutely infinitely one of the most powerful things in this world. Pedro absolutely portrayed that emotion in the moment when he’s trying to talk Henry down. It’s like he’s mentally saying “look at me, I understand, PLEASE, I understand”. Joel knows they’re not at risk to Henry at that moment, Henry is at risk to himself.

Not only that but Joel asks Ellie if she’s okay shortly after Sam dies and even tries to go to her but is stopped by Henry raising the gun to him.

We see Joel becoming softer and more of a father figure to Ellie in this situation. His usual hardened expression drops when he has just witnessed a serious threat to Ellie’s life. He can see the distress in her. He’s just watched her bond with a child over a period of time that she clearly felt very strongly for very quickly. He also has strong feelings about Ellie watching others die due to the discussion he has with her when she shoots the man in the previous episode to protect Joel.

“You’re just a kid. You shouldn’t know what it means to…” to kill someone he means.

He doesn’t want her to witness this world. He wants to protect her from it and we’re seeing so much more of that in these newer episodes. The paternal feelings he’s developing for her are slowly but surely finding their way out into the open.

And finally the note that Ellie leaves on Sam’s grave.

“I’m sorry.”

We see Joel realising when he reads this, that this young girl feels a lot more than she’s giving out. That Joel is starting to come to terms with how much of a weight is sitting on Ellie’s shoulders by being treat like a possible cure. That the thought of her feeling as though it’s her fault that she couldn’t save Sam from infection, ultimately has Joel feeling even more responsible for ensuring she doesn’t feel that way and that she understands how important she is in herself rather than to the rest of the crumbling world.

I really look forward to seeing how their relationship develops. Particularly, how Joel’s feelings develop further towards Ellie. I also look forward to seeing more vulnerability from Ellie. Joel walks around with this hardened expression but Ellie doesn’t need to do anything like that. We know from how she admits to Sam that she fears being left alone, that she has a lot of emotion she is holding back. She needs that someone to be vulnerable with and I can’t wait for her to let it all go for Joel.

[sporesnsonnets]

TLOU EPISODE 5 SPOILERS:

I can’t stop thinking about how much worse they made poor Henry’s story.

He sold out someone he admired and because of it the resistance was left with a violent, extreme, callous leader. How responsible for the carnage that followed did he feel? It clearly weighed heavily on him.

And he did all of it for Sam; to keep Sam healthy - to keep Sam alive. He did so much, endured so much… all for Sam. To know that it was ultimately for nothing? That he couldn’t keep him safe despite it all? To have to kill him himself after all that?

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Do you think he heard Kathleen’s voice in the end? Telling him that Sam was destined to die?

It wasn’t enough for him to shoulder the burden of failing his brother. He also had to shoulder the burden of feeling responsible for everything that went down, only for it to be for nothing in the end.

[the-reason-to-believe]

Quiet | missing scene - episode 5

Summary:  "The after" of THE scene in episode 5. Or: Joel should have given that girl a hug after what she just witnessed! (But also: Of course it's not that easy ...) Fix-it / Missing scene (spoilers episode 5)

POV: Joel

Also posted on my AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45054883

Length: 698

Static.

That’s all Joel hears when Henry’s body hits the ground.

A minute ago, they were making plans. They were gonna be a group instead of a duo. Ellie was gonna have a friend. A person to talk to. A person who could show his affection. Who would have made her feel less alone. And a little bit more like a kid. Like she was supposed to feel.

He closes his eyes just for a second, tries to hold it together, takes a deep, painful breath.

This shouldn’t have happened. They shouldn’t have left them in there on their own. They should have checked for wounds. That’s what you do. You get close with the clickers; you check everybody involved. No questions asked.

Joel knows that. That’s how you ensure everybody survives.

He presses his hands to tight fists.

How could he have forgotten?

His stomach twists.

Doesn’t matter. What is done is done. Death was always part of life. Now death just comes a little more frequently. You get used to it.

That’s how you survive.

Only he would give everything to spare Ellie this pain.

When he finally looks at her, it rips his heart right out of his chest.

She’s barely breathing. Tears are running down her cheeks, which she’s supposed to wipe away. That’s what she does. Only, now she doesn’t.

She just stares.

Like her whole world has just crashed into itself. And it might as well have.

She is quiet. So quiet, it freaks him out. Ellie isn’t quiet. That’s not her. It’s like this girl in front of him has been switched out with a fake version of her.

She won’t look at him. Her eyes are glued to Henry’s unmoving body. The horror of it all being erased with numbness that’s slowly but visibly creeping up on her. Death is catching up to her.

Joel swallows, tries to gather words in his mouth that make any kind of sense in a moment in which nothing makes sense. Nothing at all.

If he could just …

He’s so bad at this. He hasn’t done this in so long. 20 years. And even back then he wasn’t gonna win any Father Of The Year awards.

So he takes another breath, lets the automation take over.

“We should-”

Ellie flinches at his voice. Her eyes meet his, hold on to him as if she is looking for a lifeline. For anything to make this moment pass. To press on pause, then on rewind, make this all go away. Make it all better. Make everything okay.

But it’s all overtaken by hopelessness. Deep and utter hopelessness.

She still doesn’t wipe the tears away. She still doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t make a sound. Quiet. Seems to be lost in the attack, the first gunshot, then the second. Like it’s repeating, repeating, repeating in her head.

And he can’t do anything about it. He’s about to ask her if she’s okay. But that’s a stupid thing to ask. So he doesn’t. He doesn’t say anything. There are no words.

Instead, he does the only thing that seems to come to mind. The only thing that makes sense.

Even though it’s gonna rip his heart a little further out of his chest. Make her pain his pain. That’s what he’s gotta do. That’s what he would do for Sarah. So now, this is what he’s gotta do for Ellie instead. That’s what he owes her.  

He walks over and sinks to the floor next to her. Holds his breath when he reaches for her. Gently. As gently as he can. Puts an arm around her. Slowly, reassuring. Waits. Until she leans in, puts her head against his chest. Closes her eyes. Lets the pain flood out of her. Joel hugs her head against his chest, closes his eyes, breathes steadily, while her body is shaking. He has to be strong for her. Has to keep her safe. Has to show her she’s safe. He should have done it sooner. Just didn’t know how to.

He rubs her back. Doesn’t let go. She stays quiet. Joel too. Just waits.

For as long as she needs him to.

[williexmercer]

[sapphireshelle91]

I knew what was coming... I knew how Henry and Sam’s story went. I’ve known how their story goes since 2013! I thought I was prepared, and yet, STILL, I was bawling at the first sign of what was to come and then, proceeded to curl up in a ball and sob for the last 10 minutes of the show.  Goddamm this show!!! It’s good (brilliant, heartbreaking) goddam show don’t get me wrong, but oh my god I have gotten so many bloody crying headaches from watching it (I thought I cried after episode 3, but oh no, oh boy no, was I wrong... no, nope, this episode wins, hands down, the ‘How badly can you make Shelle cry’ award.) god, I so badly wanted a different ending for them 

[galaxyedging]

My ramblings on The Last of Us episode 5. Spoilers below:

We knew it was coming, but the addition of Ellie trying to save Sam? Heartbreaking. Their relationship serving as a reminder that Ellie is just a child herself was another blow.

The divergence from the game kept the tension up during the scene with Kathleen in the residential area. We knew Sam and Henry would likely still die but I wondered if they were just going to get shot. Maybe Sam would get himself killed by being Super Sam and trying to save one of the others.

We got another insight into how Joel navigates the world. He could have probably shot Kathleen while she was mid monologue, even with Perry keeping watch, but that would have just caused more problems than it solved. He's calm and methodical. He read Ellie's intentions and acting instantly. Pedro deserves all the awards for this, but the 'Please' to the old man in particular got me.

Bella was amazing as Ellie as always. Keivonn Woodard and Lamar Johnson were perfect as Sam and Henry. I love that Sam being deaf wasn't used as a plot device.

[jasminedragoon]

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5

Okay so I'm feeling really bad for Ellie everything with Henry and Sam. It happened so fast. It still hasn't fully set in that Henry killed himself after killing San and I'm feeling even worse for Ellie. Like I really need to find some hurt/ comfort fics of Joel comforting Ellie because otherwise I think if he just continues as is she's going to become exactly like him. I know that doesn't happen in the games but please give my girl a hug she's been through so much trauma and just needs a father figure.

Also I loved the Kaiju zombie my guys charming. I'm wondering how that thing formed. My theory is that it's an advanced clicker or like a tree in a forest ecosystem the smaller zombies slowly add mass to this zombie to get the rest out from underground. The sheer way of the zombies everything from underground was so amazing to me it reminded me of the zombies movement in World War Z GOD ITS AMAZING I LOVE THIS SHOW anyways thanks for reading

[fangirloverlode]

The way he just plonked down on the bed 😭 there’s no way Henry thought he was actually going to sleep

[sauerkrauted]

i really like how they showed Joel's ptsd in this episode. When the ringing started and he had to lean on something i was instantly like "ah thats an anxiety attack" because thats exactly what happens to me. Love that Joel is allowed to have emotions and struggles and not be a stoic manly man all the time.

[readerconfused]

Spoilers The last of us

I already knew it was going to happen because of the game, but of course the series made the whole situation sadder

Henry and Sam are younger than they are in the game and are in a totally different situation. In the series they are more vulnerable, Henry says with all the words that he needs Joel to escape. The two did things they regret to survive and protect those they loved. Ellie allowed herself to be a kid again with Sam, to have hope, a bit of innocence that things were going to be different.

Joel also had that hope, it is clear when they go to the Hotel that he had agreed to take care of the three. That he had thought "maybe the road doesn't have to be so lonely, maybe we can take care of each other" so when everything goes wrong the next day it's like it breaks him

Not only could he not take care of them, Ellie feels it too and he knows that girl who was having fun with puns was shake

I think Ellie hit the "it's just the two of us from here to the end" moment.

[wardley10]

I can't stop thinking about Sam's writing board and how Ellie wrote 'I'm sorry' on it.

[jadeinretrogrde]

bruh wtf

[kinjkihu-s]

do not hmu i'm absolutely inconsolable about sam and ellie.

when i first heard about them lowering sam's age i was admittedly kinda confused abt that bc i felt that a reason why he and ellie worked so well was because they were abt the same age.

but it works in the same way that bill and frank work (see last week's tangent lol). long story short i'm obsessed with all the changes. i'm obsessed with the way ellie was like a big sister to him — reading and acting out the comic books to him, making him laugh, playing soccer with him, putting her arm around him, promising him she'll stay up with him. character wise for ellie it's fucking gr8 because it sort of puts her in joel's position of wanting to protect someone else whose younger than you but their age gap isn't so big that goofing around with him doesn't feel unnatural or like she's just humoring him for his sake. she's still a kid too.

which really just goes to show how fucking great bella ramsey and keivonn woodard are. i was completely sold on bella by ep. 3 (specifically when joel was teaching ellie gun safety and he pulled on her gun and she did get little giggle that felt so natural and contrasted so well with the seriousness of the situation and the weapon she had in her hands) but jfc their scenes with keivonn were so fucking good. it all felt so natural. they were two kids stuck in a shitty situation doing what kids always do: trying to have fun. and their scenes together never felt forced.

long story short uh amazing ep im in tears

[sapphireshelle91]

Ok, now that I am have recovered from watching Episode 5 of TLoU -  That’s a straight up lie, I haven’t recovered. Again, like with Sarah, I knew the thing that happens at the end of episode 5 was coming, I knew, I knew, I thought I was emotionally prepared, and then the thing happened and I was bawling - ANYWAY, putting the emotional damage aside... and (small-ish) SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5: Endure and Survive Was anyone else caught completely off guard by the little girl Clicker? I mean, we know kids can be infected (we saw in the timeskip in ep1 and you know, um, *coughsamcough*), but because we never saw any kids as runners (again *coughsamcough* but he was very new and yeah...), clickers so on in the game (or in the first 4 episode) my brain sort of came up with the theory that kids, once they became infected - because they’re kids and their bodys are so much smaller. And I’m talking about babies to maybe pre/mid-teens who get infected - that they succumb quicker to the fungus, and they just kinda skipped all the different stages and maybe not quiet immediately - because again we do see newly infected kids in both the game and the show - but in a pretty short about of time, if they’re not killed, they instead just turn into spore patches. Or something along those lines. So yeah, I was not expecting to see a little girl clicker. But once I got over the shock of her, I was actually really pleased that the show kinda answered the question/s that I’ve been curious about since the game first came out, which was “What happens to infected kids? Do they become clickers, or do they just fall to the ground and become new spore fungus patches?” So yeah, I’m glad the show showed a kid Clicker, even though it was also absolutely devastating to see a kid-Clicker I also might have *SPOILERS* cheered when the kid Clicker got a certain antagonist. I might have straight up cackled and then felt immediately queasy because boy, deaths in TLoU are brutal even when we don’t see the gore (which thank you, I don’t need that in my life). Anyway, this show has gone and once again, blown past all my previous expectations for any given episode, I am once again left shattered and an emotional wreck from an episode and also deeply satisfied because this is a damn fine show.

[skoulsons]

The thing is-

This isn’t a palm-to-palm, four fingers wrapped around the edge of each others hand type of hand hold. This is personal. This is connection. This is pleading. This is a pledge of loyalty. This is care. This is comfort. This is words unspoken. This is so much wrapped into one thing. It’s Ellie coming back after being shoved away by him with every ounce of power he could muster, rejected by him, being told “leave. You go,” and coming back after finding a needle and thread, pulling his coat off and grabbing his hand immediately. Not placing her hand over his, grabbing it. Interlocking their fingers. Watching him, telling him, without a single word- I’m not leaving. I’m here. We take care of each other, so let me do this for you. Let me care for you. Let me take care of you. Let me love you, because there’s a chance here, and as much as you want to protect me by telling me to go, that’s not how this works. We’re stuck with each other. I’m not letting you die.