#THIS WAS SUPER DISJOINTED BUT MAN HAVE I GOT SOME SHIT TO SAY

[yallemagne]

This might be a little disjointed because it's been a few days since I watched it, but my thoughts on season 2 of X-Men: The Animated Series:

Episode 1 & 2: Till Death Do Us Part

I know they’re having Logan going ham in the Danger Room because he’s in love with Jean, but lalala I can’t hear you, he’s ACTUALLY beating up fake Cyclopses in the Danger Room because of Morph’s death. 

Damn if Logan weren’t, frankly, acting like a little bitch, we could have gotten the Morph reveal much earlier. This is what angsting after a married woman does, Logan. You miss out on precious time with your resurrected bestie with benefits. 

Morph is my silly little pumpkin. Sinister is such a bastard that he lets Morph have temporary self-awareness just to torture them with it. That, or he is just very bad at maintaining his mind control. Anyhow, Morph declares that they’ll have their revenge and switch through different forms “Cyclops! Storm! Wolverine!” And upon turning into Wolverine they fall back on their bed and writhe in agony because that’s their BEST FRIEND. AHHH. 

Morph sending Cherik to the Savage Lands for a deadly date. This is like The Parent Trap but nefarious. 

Morph desperately trying to fight against the mind-control :,0. It's always when they're presented with the promise of being accepted back into the family. All they wanna do is be an X-Man again. 

"You kept me alive! And the evil that's in me! But the worst of us still has some good!" I'm sobbing.

Also yeah. The title is obviously referencing Scott and Jean’s wedding vows. But what if— lissen hear me out hear me out, it’s actually about Wolverine and Morph and their unbreakable bond.

Episode 3: Whatever It Takes

Mjnari, you scared me, boy. He kept getting himself into situations where I was like “YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING A HEROIC SACRIFICE” and thankfully, no heroic sacrifice, just winning. 

Storm just casually having a son that she's not told anyone about and Rogue being like BABE WHAT??? Babe why did you never tell me you have a child with another woman??

Logan grabbing Morph’s wrists and restraining them behind their back in the weirdest hug imaginable. Gonna headcanon that that’s just how they normally hug because Logan is weird. Gotta use “I’m restraining you” as an excuse to get his arms around someone.

Morph changing between several exes arch enemies of Wolverine while trying to get him off his trail. Hoooo. Morph knows the Deep Lore. 

Episode 4: Red Dawn

Imagine being so stupid you make an indestructible super human who represents your values so well he resolves to murder you for not abiding by those values. And then imagine thawing him even though you couldn’t control him the first time because you want to restart the Soviet Union. Imagine getting through so many steps without thinking of the consequences even once.

Colossus is my sweet baby boy. I love how naively good he is and how it plays off Jubilee, who is also naive as hell. It’s perfectly demonstrated when Jubilee is just like “I’ll just leave a note! ‘Off to stop the reformation of the USSR, food’s in the fridge.’ Okay, let’s go!” And Colossus is like “Yes! Let’s!”

Wolverine gets home from Morph throwing Omega Red in his face during their confrontation to a note saying the runt went ahead to stop Omega Red with no backup?? The timing. 

Episode 5: Repo Man

Canada tries to steal Wolverine’s skeleton what the fuck. 

I appreciate that his old team steps in to save him because they never wanted to drag him back into experimentation, they just wanted their buddy back. 

It’s implied in the flashback in this episode and later on that Wolverine never had bone claws, they’re just a result of the adamantium? Yeah no. Makes no sense. His claws are literally what identify him as a mutant in several interactions. 

Episode 6: X-Ternally Yours

Dog, this weird cult-gang shit makes no sense to me. It’s good that Gambit got away from that nonsense. 

Lol Rogue getting upset that Gambit is getting married but immediately being like AHA when it’s revealed he’s there against his will. 

Episode 7 & 8: Time Fugitives

Absolutely genius having a time travel episode followed by a second time travel episode to fix the previous episode. They got to reuse so much animation, and frankly, I'm proud of them for the creativity they employ to be unoriginal. 

Episode 9: A Rogue's Tale

I already knew Rogue’s backstory, but hell, they really capture the dread of Rogue being forced by her mother to kill another person. There was so much innocence in her voice yelling that she didn’t want to hold on, that it felt wrong. God, I hate Mystique so much for this. Rogue is right in saying Mystique only cared about her powers. Sure maybe she does see her as a daughter, but would she have even spared the girl a second glance if she weren’t such a powerful mutant? Hell no. 

Episode 10: Beauty & the Beast

I was literally musing about how this episode's themes reminds me of Beauty and the Beast... and that's literally the title. 

Graydon Creed: “MUTANTS AND ALL THOSE RELATED TO THEM MUST BE DESTROYED!!!” Me: 👀 are you sure about that you dumb bitch.

Logan infiltrating the Friends of Humanity? Amazing. Showstopping. He did so amazing, bravo. Get this man an award. And y’all know he’s been sitting on the info that Creed is Sabretooth’s son for so long lol. It’s so cathartic of a reveal. 

I wonder… how does this affect Creed? After all, at the end of ’97, it’s said he’s got people rallying behind him as a political candidate. Did people just forget what a dirty snivelling little hypocrite he is? Did news of his parentage never reach the general public? Is it like water under the bridge bc he technically denounces his parents? What’s up with that?

(Aside: they call Sabretooth Graydon Creed Sr.. Yeah, I’d change my name to Victor. The real kicker is that he named his son after himself. No wonder Junior is so mad at his pops.)

Anyhow, even though it’s technically not canon to anything but the movie continuity, I’m gonna keep headcanoning Sabretooth and Wolverine as estranged brothers because I would love to see Logan continuing to hold this over Graydon’s head by telling him to call him ‘Uncle Logan’. 

Episode 11: Mojovision

I Dream of Jean fucking got me. Looks like Mojo’s programming is geared towards me. 

After reading Exiles I’m just sitting here like “:((( I wish Morph was here... Morph would be slaying…”

Episode 12 & 13: Reunion

See, Wolverine uses his claws here, and they have him say his claws aren’t a result of his mutation. Baby what? Now, I think it totally makes sense for his claws to still be functional even in a place where mutant powers are cancelled out. After all, they’re a part of his skeleton. Like if Nightcrawler were there, he wouldn’t lose the ability to move his tail, yeah? Just no teleporting. Is there really like a continuity where the claws aren’t a mutant trait???

Also his hands gotta really hurt doing that without his healing.

Anyhow MORPH MORPH MORPH MORPH

I love Wolvie meeting a fellow Wild Man. 

Morph is my sweet babe I love them so much, you go bitch, you fight that mind control, you shoot at Sinister so Cyclops can hit him with his beams. Go off queen. 

I haven’t really been giving notes about the Savage Lands before now because I found everything about it boring till this episode. And that’s because while I love me some Cherik, those fucks were getting absolutely nothing done. Besides like that one funny moment where Magneto was throwing rocks at a dino and calling it a stupid lizard. 

Love Charles briefing Erik about the steps he's gonna be taking to aid in Morph’s recovery?? So random. Like the present parent trying to get the absentee to get involved in their children’s lives. "We're gonna take Morph to Muir Island... 👉👈 if you want to visit..."

Magneto does not take the hint and bails on family like a coward. We'll get you yet, Magneto, even if it takes killing Charles to get you to provide for the kiddos.

[EDIT: oh yeah btw my thoughts on season 1]

[trappedinstormcove]

I was gonna start dating these things, cause I can't remember when each one was, but there's no calendars here and if I try to count from what day I last knew it to be, I'm gonna get messed up. It was like September 6th or something when I was last home. But I think it's spring here, not fall? Everything's super green and muggy. So it's like four? days since I was last able to write something. I think. I got a bit distracted.

First, I was gonna fix the power to this place. Or try to. Cause it kept flickering and killing the computer. But I don't think the computer's even plugged into anything, which is hella weird. But something's keeping the lights on, so I went outside and walked all around the building. Which wasn't easy cause the back half is all covered in these sticker bushes that were a pain to get through. I tore my shirt to shreds in the process. My only shirt! And there wasn't even anything back there. But just when I got through them there was a power box thing. I think it's called a junction box? It looked like someone had hit it with something cause the door was all bent and this big fuse thing wasn't sitting right. I tried pushing it back in, but it wouldn't budge and it sparked every time I touched it.

Then this guy came out of nowhere. Big walls of bushes and shit on all sides, and just this tiny narrow gravel and dirt path. That bastard didn't make a sound, just swooped in like a damn owl, saying "Here, let me fix that" in this stupid hot deep voice. He got in real close, with his hand on my back, and just used one hand to pop the fuse thing back in. I think he said some other stuff, too. But all I remember is him flashing a smile. I don't even remember the rest of his face, just that smile. Then he just left. I don't even remember which way he went.

But hey, the power's working properly again without any hiccups. Mostly. And I figured out how to save progress without posting it directly, so no more losing everything because of a brown out.

The people here are just as weird and disjointed as the buildings. Like Mystery Man looks totally modern. Teeshirt and jeans, black baseball cap. Sexy stubble. Well worn work boots. I mean, I saw him a few more times over near the hotel so I was able to get a better look at him finally and how tight his jeans fit.

There's a few other modern types, and a few that seem just slightly out of date. But that could just be that they like a retro style like those rockabilly types who dress like it's sort of the 1950s but kinda punk? Anyway, there's some who look totally out of place. Like there's this weird guy who's always passed out at the bar in the hotel. I haven't seen him upright much, but he's got a sort of pirate look to him? Not actual pirate, I don't think he's be anywhere near the ocean before coming here, but like that era. Where they hiked up their pants super high with those frilly shirts and weird cut jackets. The only times he's really awake is when another guy dressed sort of the same is around. But this other guy is super serious and keeps finding books that actually have words in them. He doesn't seem interested in talking to anyone. The drunk guy doesn't exactly talk to him, but more stares at him like a teenage girl at the foot the stage at a boyband concert. The dude's just reading. It's so weird.

Then there's two other guys. I don't think they're from the same time, but maybe some beef happened between them? So there's this fussy sort of guy, who tries to be all serious and always taking notes. He looks slightly more modern than the other two, in something closer to a regular suit but still super antique. He tries to act like he's totally fine and put together but he's so high strung he practically vibrates. Especially when the Other Guy is there. He's super old. Like 90 or something. But he doesn't move like he's 90. He doesn't even smell like an old person, he just smells kinda like mildew or dirt. But more like an old building than an old person. He really likes wearing black and has a cape and everything. He could be modern and just weird or from when those things were normal. Whenever he comes in, he just makes small talk with anyone who happens to be there. Like he's kinda weird, in that eccentric old man way, but harmless. Except the suit guy is like a deer in the headlights the moment weird old guy walks in. Absolutely rigid and wild-eyed, not moving except to track the weird old guy's movements. Until he finds the courage to quietly leave. And the weird old guy doesn't even seem to notice he's there.

But then I figured out something super weird. I got the drunk guy talking the other day. I thought he'd be like this friend back home who's all surly and monosyllabic. But once he woke up, he was like a runaway train. It was pure drunkard ramblings, of course. Like he was trying to be deep and poetic but it was utter nonsense. Mostly. He kept talking about Paris and France and all this stuff. I don't remember how we got around to it, but he thinks he's speaking French. He thinks I'M speaking French, that everyone in this town is speaking French. I thought he was just that drunk, because he was very obviously speaking English. He kinda sounded like he was British, but it's hard to tell through Drunk Speak. I tried saying something in Spanish, but he understood me perfectly and said it was still French.

I asked Suit Guy what languague I was speaking. He thought I was crazy and said it was plain English. So I tried Spanish with him, too. And he still thought I was crazy because he still heard English. So either I'm going completely crazy, or something weird is happening here.

And I found out this place is a town called Storm Cove. After tearing my shirt to shreds on those bushes, I had to find something else if I didn't want to wander around shirtless. I only found this one place that had clothes that weren't half rotted. It was like the sort of gift shop you find in little beach towns like this. It was so normal it felt weird. They had a bunch of junk with "Storm Cove" logos plastered on them. The only shirt I could find that wasn't cut off just below the nipples or 2 sizes too small was this massive tent on me, but I guess that's fine. So now I'm a walking bilboard for this place.

Tomorrow I'm gonna figure out if those two guys were just messing with me. Maybe I can get Mystery Man to help out? He seemed helpful. Smart, with nice, strong hands.

[aroaceaaah]

Mehn, síd, áŕá͡úyê͡î!

Writer ask thingy: 3, 8, 15, 20 !

Dia daoibh, fucker.

3.) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?

Everything I want to write for the WIP is Coming So Help Me God. If it doesn't fit but is still Mass Effect it's going in a supplimentary little oneshots catch all thing. That's been most of the brain atm, I've got some DW WIPs but I'm totally gonna get back to them I promise.

That Does Not Mean I have Never had half assed ideas I didn't write.

I wanted to make my DBH fic longer, I wanted it to be a whole thing about Connor getting super overwhelmed with being a Deviant and everything that entails and it was all a super thinly veiled metaphor for autistic burnout. I also briefly thought I would recreate the whole of DBH as a text-adventure that was naive hah.

I wanted to write a She-Ra fic focusing on what if Adora just let Catra come with her when she sneaked out of the horde to go find the sword in the first episode. It was gonna be a big long AU and basically everything would be different if that one thing changed. They were gonna be gay way earlier

I have a whole original thing I have never written much of at all but I do have ideas!! I also have Assignmence and Autism Special Interests which take precident a lot of the time.

8.) Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

This is a fun one because mostly no? Depends on how specific you get. I write fanfic, I read a lot of fanfic. In terms of genre, I love writing angst, if I do not feel 1000% confident that the angst will be held properly (no big dramatic plot twists or OOC stuff for drama or fuckin cliffhangers, dickhead) then I will just simply not read it. No. I do like when it's funny and nonsense and I write a lot of that, but I also like when random americans write about fucking Calculus man idk what I like that's between me, god, and a team of psychologists.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

I am simply built different these are all easy hahhaa. I am shit at suggesting titles for others writing but for me I just title everything either a joke or a song lyric and wham done. Idk if they're catchy or enticing I have no idea I just want it to all line up so you can scroll and sing a really weird disjointed version of a song weeee

20.) Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

WELL!! You are gonna read this and be like "none of this was new information to me" but idc I'm saying it anyway (SPOILERS FOR MY MASS EFFECT FIC LOL)

ROBOT SHEPARD. I adored that as a concept, it literally wasn't my goal with Tis Grace I have notes from the beginning trying to focus on the, like, social implictations of being dead for a while but it wasn't holding water and then I was like what about the physical implications and then I was like WHAT IF SHE'S AN AI

it was great and there is SO much coming for that, there's stuff in my ME3 one that revolves around that and I'm so excited for. It's all foreshadowed and set up and it's fun because a lot of it happened almost accidentally. In terms of relationships, I obviously love the title lesbians, I swear I do even though they have been together for maybe 15 minutes in the fic but look. I wanted an explanation for why Liara isn't with you in ME2 and I could not think of a cheery one for that. I also didn't expect to be as obsessed with Jack as I am but honestly herself and Shepard genuinely having a close friendship? Miranda gets roped in for dramatic tension? They should have let me write the games idc that I was 10 years old

Anyway if you want a clue as to what happens next listen to the playlist it's. Fairly explicitly stated tbh.

[jieun-didnt-deserve-that]

why i mcfreakin LOVED the season 2 finale

ok so i kNOW the season 2 finale was like 3827328 years ago bUT,,,, consider: i havent stopped thinkin about ks since then and im starved of content

so basically ive seen a few ppl saying they thought season 2’s finale was anti-climatic but i rly dont think it was at all (especially for sangwoo if ya get me ;))))) ok ill stop) but to be honest we should have seen from when they were taken to the police station that bum was never going to confess and unfortunately for seungbae, bum is like the only shred of evidence seungbae has for his theory on sangwoo. it was engineered so that bum was the one in control here because he was obviously never going to say anything. first of all, he doesnt know the police dont know he killed jieun. this whole thing wasn’t even about her it was about the ceo’s daughter bUT HE DOESNT KNOW THAT!! also even if he DID, he has two options: tell the truth and go back to his abusive uncle who constantly physically, emotionally and sexually abuses him OR lie and go home with sangwoo who constantly physically, emotionally and sexually abuses him BUT occasionally is kind of nice to him (and gets him cake). ALSO we can see that bum would probably not even rat sangwoo out even if his uncle was out of the equation because we see at the start of season 2 that bum was desperate not to leave because “outside is scary” (i feel ya bum i rly do) and when sangwoo told him he was disgusting after he opened up about his uncle he immediately jumped to the conclusion that sangwoo was going to say he doesnt need him anymore (even tho, as much of a mouldy sock sangwoo is, he didnt actually say that) he straight up tried to kill himself. like with no hesitation. so we can see how incredibly dependent he is on sangwoo anyway, so with all of that weighting on him, bums not saying jack shit to seungbae.

but bum isnt the only reason the mission (mission? that sounds very extra considering what bae did was stand on a metal pole and break into a guys house) failed was seungbae himself. his methods are far too rash and he lets his emotions get in the way of his judgement. we can see already from the scene in the bathroom that he doesnt weigh out the risks and consequences of what he does. i mean the guy 1) broke into an ALLEGED SERIAL KILLER’S house 2) without a warrant 3) without letting anyone else know he was there 4) with only a taser and that fuckign pole to defend himself. clearly he aint good at rationally assessing his actions before he takes them ESPECIALLY as he already had some red flags from acting like this in the past. anyway so baes methods are completely ridiculous and the tipping point was when he beat the shit out of sangwoo while he was still handcuffed. like dont get me wrong it was awesome and im sure we all wanted to see that motherfucker get decked (i know i did) but it was also very, very stupid. so with the combination of seungbaes rash methods and bum’s array of reasons not to snitch there was NO WAY sangwoo was getting convicted of murder anytime soon.

and as for the final scene, that was really just showing us how now sangwoo has EVERYTHING he wants. the one person who was suspicious of him has been FIRED and he knows he will never see him again, the police are pretty much on his side now because he knows how easily manipulated they are, he knows that he has bum’s unwavering loyalty 1) because if he leaves he wont have anywhere to go 2) because he knows hes terrified of getting caught because he killed jieun (HE killed jieun, sangwoo has made it very clear to bum that its HIS fault by calling him “mr murderer” and stuff) and 3) he knows bum will never leave him anyway because hes just that dependent on him. so him choosing to ,,, do that ,,, OUTSIDE (and inside if ya get me ;)) (like im not gonna lie every time i read ch 35 i CACKLE at the line “i am inside”) as a display to bum and kind of to himself that he really has it all and he will always win like i saw this post about how he even won that rock paper scissors thing with jieun and he won against yoonjae at the arcade and NOW he has won against the fucking police department (DEPENDABLE POLICE FORCE FOR A SAFE COUNTRY MY A S S) and ALSO we have no idea which direction season 3 will take like after s1 it was kind of obvious like oh shit what they gon do now jieun is dead (rip my sweet angel btw, just so yall know i would die for her even if it wasnt fucking necessary) but s2 really doesnt hint @ anything so thats why i think the season 2 finale was fucking great.

ONE MORE thing i think that the whole dynamic between bum woo and bae is so clever because if bum didnt remind sangwoo of his mother he probably would be dead bc sangwoo would have killed him but he keeps bum with him because believe it or not he is dependent on bum too. like the two times he thought he had lost him forever (ch 27 and ch 13 i think) he lost his SHIT. and if bum hadnt had such a horrible childhood he wouldn’t have obsessed for years over being saved by sangwoo in the millitary and wouldn’t be so emotionally dependent on him. and if bae was more rational and calmed the FUCK down he would be able to find a better way to apprehend sangwoo. but each of these flaws in them keeps the structure going and that is why not only the season 2 finale but the whole damn series is so fuckign good, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[lost-at-hacketts-quarry]

I might be stupid/missing something, but how tf did the Hacketts' hide werewolves at their Summer camp for two months?

Like am I missing something? Caleb, Kaylee (not my lil kaylee-), and Chris were all infected at the start of the game, and they knew that. How the fuck did they play it off? Random camper 1: "Hey man, did you hear all the noise last night?" Random camper 2: "Yeah, it was honestly pretty scary tbh..." Chris, who overheard: "Aw don't worry about that! Just have some pesky coyotes in the area. They tend to get a little more restless some nights. They...shouldn't hurt or bother you, but don't go looking for them. Later, kids!" AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THE CAMPERS WOULD'VE JUST ACCEPTED THAT OR SOME SHIT? Like, Kaylee was kept at the Hackett house while human of course and I'd assume Caleb was there too. So I guess they never actually interacted with the campers? But that's still so fucking irresponsible to have literal monsters that will not hesitate to turn little Jimmy into a statistic at a camp full of children. Curious, nature-loving ones at that. Like, I get that they were very broke and needed the funds, but that's pretty fucked up. Timeline wise, Laura and Max arrive a day early and end up getting attacked by Chris during the June full moon. That still leaves the July full moon though. Did Chris really have the audacity to like spend part of the day with the counselors and then say "Whoops! Sorry, kiddos! Papa has to go do [insert convenient excuse]. Don't go wandering and stay safe!" AND ANOTHER THING- Chris was in the storm shelter for the June full moon. Where was Caleb and Kaylee for that? Were they in the red room basement? If so, why wasn't Chris there too? Did the Hackett's just LET their little liabilities run freely? Given, the camp wasn't open yet, but that's a horrible idea! Similarly, Chris can be caught in a snare trap during the night meaning he was on the loose during the August full moon. I don't know the criteria for that scenario though as I've only scene the clip of it and did not actually see a full playthrough where that happened. Chris can also be found in the attic of the Hackett house chained up. Again though- why are the children loose but he isn't? "Oh, OP, it's because he wanted to protect the counse-" then why did he let his kids vibe in the woods? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! AND THERE THERE'S THE LITERAL YEARS OF PRIOR FULL MOONS NOT MENTIONED IN GAME! The counselors attended HQ as kids! The curse has been there for like 5 years! HOW DID THEY HIDE THAT SHIT FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS? Hiding it from Ryan especially? A kid who saw Chris as a father figure aka was close to him, and has a natural disposition for the "bizarre yet bonafide"? You got me fucked up. Tldr: How the fuck were the Hacketts not caught sooner, and is this all just a plothole Supermassive didn't think about? Idk. This was super disjointed and I had a million ideas running through my head at once but if you get it? Awesome. If you don't? Awesome.

[stressisakiller]

Hello Sunflower

Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU

Hello Sunflower Part 1

Summary: Your soul mark appears on your 18th birthday. What do you do when your father is a part of Hydra and your soul mark binds you to the Winter Soldier.

Warnings: Mentions and slight descriptions of torture, violence and brainwashing

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: 4/23 New edit: fixing some timeline issues and integrating a little of the steve x reader I’m working on. Ok guys I reread this and decided to edit it and make it longer and add more dialog. I hope that you like the changes. I plan on going back and editing the other chapters as well, but that will be between writing and posting new chapters. Let me know what you think and if you have any requests for future parts. Also I originally got the idea for this after reading Wolf, Partner Gloves... by @revengingbarnes so check it out!

Series Masterlist

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You have always hated your dad. For as long as you can remember you have hated him. Every time he dragged you with him to "work" at Hydra that hatred grew. It came to a point when he decided that you would be the perfect subject for their new round of super-soldier serum testing.

So, here you are at 10, 10 years old, on this freezing metal table with a syringe in your arm screaming your head off as the serum burns through your veins. Pain. All you can think about is the pain. It feels like every single one of your nerves is on fire, and at the same time, they feel like ice. The pain blazes through you as your DNA is rewritten turning you from the child you are to the soldier that they want you to be. 

Faces come in and out of focus as the scientists look you over, studying you to see how the serum is affecting you. Your head is fuzzy, only catching every couple of words that are being spoken around you. Everything is coming into view as your eyes adjust to the lights and the new information that your DNA is sending. Flexing your hand on the table you feel pins and needles from the tip of your fingers up to your shoulder, causing you to wince. A couple of tears slip from the corner of your eyes from the overwhelming ache the is present throughout your body.

A voice drifts in through the door. A voice that you know all too well, your father. 

"She survived?" You have never noticed how sinister his voice sounds before.

"Yes sir, and it seems like the serum took, we aren't sure how exactly it has altered her yet." The other voice is weaker, trembling, scared of the man in front of it.

"Begin testing on her then, we need to know before we begin training her." 

"Yes sir." 

One set of footsteps retreats down the hallway while the other comes closer. You look towards the door, waiting to face the man that is about to walk in. You make sure your face is blank when the door opens, you don't want him to know you heard the whole conversation.

A slight sniveling man steps through the door and you immediately decide that you hate him. He walks over to you and undoes the straps on your arms and legs.

"Come little soldier, it's time to find out what you can do." He orders, his voice is a little stronger now that he isn't facing your father. He leads you down a maze of hallways, your bare feet make no noise as you follow after him. 

Entering a different room you are met with the site of another metal table as well as a two-way glass mirror, a treadmill, and a large set of weights. The man points you to the treadmill and the tests begin. They force you to run, full sprint until your body shuts down and you fall to the floor, flying off the belt as soon as you hit. When you come back to consciousness they force you to lift more and more weight until you feel your arm muscles give out. The weights come crashing down on you breaking multiple ribs. You are given a day to heal before they begin shocking and beating you to figure out what your pain tolerance is, before cutting you in different places at different depths to discover how quickly you heal.

You aren't sure how many days have passed before you are thrown into your new "bedroom" to rest and heal. A meal of bread, milk, and some sort of meat substitute is all they give you to eat. With every test and beating your hatred for Hydra and the man who called himself your father grows. You haven't seen your father at all during the testing but you know that he has been standing behind that stupid mirror and watching as you are put through every test that the scientists could think of. As soon as he had taken you to be injected, you had decided that this man was no father of yours. No real father would willingly subjugate their child to this torture and watch as it happens. 

You are given no rest before they begin to train you, throwing you into a ring with the other assets, teaching you how to shoot every type of firearm imaginable. You are taught how to throw knives and how to use poison, how to kill a man without leaving a trace and how to evade arrest. They make you into their perfect little child soldier, and you despise them for it. 

Your memories from that point on are disjointed, you know that there is a machine that they would force you into, you can remember the pain, but not much else. Then there are these words, six of them. The scientists say them and you lose all control of your own body. But then they take you back to that other machine and you fall into blessed whiteness. After an unknown amount of time, they decide that they no longer need to take you to that machine or to use those words. All you have ever known is Hydra, after all, there is no way you would turn against them. That's their first mistake. You bid your time, and slowly they give you more freedom. The idiots.

  As your 18th birthday had approached you set a tattoo appointment. You would rather die than let Hydra find out what your soulmate mark would be. You had decided beforehand that you would go in and get multiple tattoos on your birthday to mask the one that would betray the person that fate had deemed you destined for.

 Waking up the morning of your 18th birthday you run to the mirror. Seeing the markings on your skin you die a little inside. It can’t be, he can’t be your soulmate, how are you going to be able to save yourself and him? There on your hip, the size of a nickel, in bright red ink is a star, not just any star but the blood-red star that is a prominent feature on the arm of the Winter Soldier. But that isn’t the only thing that catches your eye. You have another tattoo, on your left bicep a bouquet of marigolds, white daisies, baby’s breath, and yellow gladiolus, with the howling face of a wolf emerging from the center. You hurry around your apartment, hiding your marks with a heavy layer of makeup. You can’t run the risk of anyone seeing them now, not before you have the chance to cover them.

You rush to the tattoo parlor in a panic and tell them the two tattoos you want. You insist that they do both of them while you are there. You cut through the protests assuring them that you have a high pain tolerance and that you heal very quickly. In the weeks preceding this day you had contemplated what exactly you needed. You had reasoned beforehand that just one tattoo would be too suspicious, but now that you have two marks you decide that you only need to get one other tattoo. You know that you will be punished for this but it is worth it, he is worth it.

To cover the soulmate mark on your hip you get a galaxy with stars of all different colors that make up multiple constellations. It takes them most of the day to finish it, walking over to the mirror you study the new art on your hip. It stretches from the middle of your thigh up to your bottom rib. It's large enough that the stars fade into the background, making it practically impossible to tell that one of them is your soulmark. 

The second tattoo is a bird in a cage that spans across the ribs on the opposite side as the galaxy. You have them make the bird abstract, using all types of different objects to create the shape of the bird and the cage. You leave the other soulmark alone, it is impossible to tell that it is a soulmark or at least who it pertains to, not with the other two tattoos vying for attention.

  You leave the parlor late that afternoon and head home. As you open the door to your apartment you are met by the overly happy face of your father. You had expected him to be there but the look on his face causes you to pause.

"My daughter, where have you been? I have been waiting for you almost all day?” the fake concern in his voice makes your teeth clench. In response, you shrug noncommittally,

“I had to run some errands and they ended up taking longer than I expected.” He is suspicious of your lie, but it won't take long for him to discover exactly where you were all day.

“No matter my child, you are here now. As you know you turned 18 today, which means your soul mark has appeared. Show it to me so that we may begin to look for the man who will hold your heart." He oozes smugness, believing that he will soon have the key to keeping you in check. You stare him down, you will die before he finds out who your soulmate is.

"Sorry to disappoint dad,” you spit, “ but I had it tattooed over. I didn’t even look at it. So I will never know who my soulmate is but neither will you." as soon as the words pass your lips your father's face contorts. His rage at your defiance shifting him from your father to the lead scientist of Hydra.

His grip is bruising as he drags you from the apartment and to the lab. The table is freezing as he straps your half-naked body to it. He snarls at you as you glare up at him.

“You think that you can defy me and not face the consequences? You think that I would not punish you because you are my daughter? I don’t give a shit about you except for what you can do for the cause. You are nothing but a puppet for us to use.” he walks away ordering for you to be tortured until you reveal what your mark is. The only condition he gives is that you are not to be killed, after all, they still have use for you.

  You spent days on that table, days of being tortured with every instrument they could think of. You were waterboarded, choked, burned and they paid extra attention to cutting every inch of skin that was covered by tattoos. At the end of every day your father would come in and ask if you had something to tell him, and every day you spit in his face. 

After three days they decide to brainwash you, they can’t wipe you since they need you coherent enough to remember what they want to know. The words wash over you, and yet to your surprise, you still have complete control. You quickly use it to your advantage. You allow them to think it worked, answering their questions as if the soldier is in control. You tell them what you told your father. You didn't look at your mark, you immediately had it tattooed over. They believe you.

After all that must be the truth, you are their soldier and their soldier cannot lie. You are just relieved that they have finally given up, you aren't sure that you could have made it another day without blacking out or losing it.

  When they drag you off the table and throw you into one of the cells you can barely move or even think. Curling into yourself on the hard cot, you allow sleep to take you. Your father doesn't allow you to rest for long, as soon as your body is in mostly working order you are thrown back into training.

“Fight or die.” He states, looking down at you as though you are the scum of the earth. “It matters not to me which you choose.” You act as their soldier and obey their commands as well as you can without losing yourself. Walking into the training ring you are dismayed to see that you are fighting none other than the winter soldier, your soulmate. You fight with everything you have, your hatred for Hydra growing with every bruise and cut you are forced to bestow. You use the moments you have alone in your cell to plan. 

When you were younger you were forced to watch as Hydra wiped and programmed the soldier before they made you into one as well, at this point, you know his words by heart. You start to wonder, if they can make a series of trigger words to turn him into the Soldat, maybe you can come up with a phrase that will help bring him back. You spend the rest of the night creating the sentence that you will use, deciding on a nickname for him that has meaning to you.

Sunflower, that is the name you decide on. They are, after all, your favorite flower and if fate is to be trusted then he is to be your favorite person. The next day you begin implementing your plan, taking the opportunity to speak with him in the moments that you have him pinned down or he has you pinned down. 

  Every time it's the same phrase, spoken to him in Russian, “Hello Sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done." This continues for months until one day Hydra decides that you are fit to go on missions with the Soldier, they believe you to be thoroughly under their control.

Every mission you find a chance to say the phrase to him. In the time you spend with him you learn to read him. He isn’t expressive, Hydra made sure of that, but when you pay enough attention you start to see the minute changes in his eyes or stance. You begin to notice a difference in him whenever you speak the phrase, no matter when his last brainwashing was. He begins to recognize you, even when in full Winter Soldier mode. When you speak to him while training his hits get a little softer and less aggressive, and when you are on missions he speaks just a little bit more.

You are 23 when the unthinkable happens, while on a mission, without the winter soldier, you fall into a river in some backwater town in Europe. You are saved from drowning by a man that you just shot. A man you have only read about in the soldier’s files. Steve Rogers. After retrieving you from freezing water, he takes your unconscious body back with him to the medical wing in the Avengers tower.

As you wake up your first thought is where am I, your second thought is this bed is way too fucking comfortable for Hydra. Your eyes shoot open. The blinding light of the room causes you a headache to make itself known. You start to move, feeling a tug at your wrists, you slowly open your eyes and look down. You are cuffed to the railing of a hospital bed, great. You flop back onto the bed, cursing your luck and hoping that whoever has you is willing to listen. Your gaze shifts to the door when you notice a figure behind the glass. The glass doors slide open, and Steve walks in. This revelation causes you to tense up, even more, you did shoot him after all.

“Oh good you're awake,” he says, noticing your open eyes and tense figure. “Now I get to ask you all of the questions I’ve been wanting to ask for the past three days.” He takes a seat next to you, his whole body screams intimidation. "Who are you? Why did you shoot me? What were you doing in that town and where did you get these?" He questions not bothering to hide the anger in his voice. 

He is holding up Bucky’s dog tags in front of your face and waiting impatiently for you to answer. You want to snatch them out of his hand and place them back around your neck, after taking them from his file about a month ago you haven’t taken them off. You were going to give them to him after you got him out, which you were planning on doing within the next couple of weeks. But now you are stuck here and there is nothing you can do to get back to him. You look at Steve, desperation coloring your voice as you explain, praying that he will listen.

"My name is Y/N, my father is Hydra and forced me to become an experiment, a soldier for them. I was planning on escaping but I never could, I couldn’t escape and leave him there. Not when I could do something to save him. I couldn’t leave him there all alone." It came out in a rush. Your heart shatters as you realize that you have done exactly what you have tried so hard not to, you have left your soulmate in the hands of Hydra. You have to convince Steve to help you get him back.

"Wait a minute, you're Hydra?" He spits at you. Fuck, you forgot that he knew what hydra is and that he hates them with a passion. Well, at least we have something in common.

"Not by choice." You answer quickly, not liking the vehemence in his voice, yet unable to hide the hatred in your own. You notice the way his jaw relaxes the tiniest bit when you say that, if you hadn't had years of practice watching Bucky for the tiniest hints of himself you would have missed it.

"Alright then, who is this ‘he’ you keep mentioning?" Steve leans back, crossing his arms as he waits for your answer.

"My soulmate, the Soldier, the man on the dog tags, James Buchanan Barnes." Steve's eyes immediately narrow, his body goes stiff,

"You’re lying. I watched him fall from that train” His teeth are clenched as he speaks. “I watched him die! There is no way he's your soulmate!" you can practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

"I'm not lying! I swear!” you are terrified of what he will do if you can’t convince him. “Hydra got to him. They made him into a weapon, they brainwashed him and put him on ice when they didn’t need him so that they could control him better. I swear I'm not lying!" You can’t stop yourself from becoming slightly hysterical. Usually, you would remain calm in this type of situation, but this time you can’t. This time it’s Hydra and this time it’s James.

A girl, that you had noticed in the corner earlier, steps forward, resting a hand on his shoulder. You hear her murmur something to him, but you aren’t able to make out what exactly she says. His countenance softens when he looks at the girl and you are reminded of how you sometimes look at James. Turning back to you he stares for a moment before he making a decision,

“Fine, I can’t fully trust you and I can’t let you go, so you will have to live here in the tower, under surveillance. If you want us to trust you, you will have to prove yourself trustworthy." He stands, unlocks your cuffs, and strides out of the room, you understand, what you just told him is a lot to take in.

The girl that was with him turns to you, “I’ll make sure that they have a room ready for you as soon as you are well enough to leave the hospital.” She gives you a soft smile and turns to leave, pausing for a moment at the door.

“I have just one more question.” You nod at her when she pauses, you will try your best to answer it. “I know you shot Steve.” she starts. “But you missed anything important on purpose, didn’t you?" You just smile at her, she's right, but you know nothing you say will change anything. She studies you for a moment before walking out of the door.

  Your arrangement works for a year. In that year you have become close to the avengers that live there. During the first six months you and Steve’s girl, Sarah, spend every morning together. She wants to learn how to fight and you are willing to teach her. You become close, she is the first person in the tower to trust you. In return for teaching her to fight she teaches you sign language. Apparently, one of her siblings was born deaf so her whole family knows how to sign. You become closer to Steve during this time as well, he still doesn’t fully trust you but he is willing to tell you more about his best friend. He always calls him Bucky and you find yourself calling him that too. But they end up moving to DC, leaving you in the compound with mostly Tony for company. Natasha and Clint are in and out of the tower and you come to a mutual understanding. You and Natasha have similar upbringings and it forms a bond, not friendship, but definitely trust.  

Then after about a year of freedom from Hydra shit hits the fan. Fury is shot and Steve discovers that Hydra has been a part of Shield since the beginning. You have to escape the tower before Hydra gets to you, so you do. You keep an eye on Steve and Sarah, at a distance, of course, you know they will send Bucky after him and that will be your chance to get to him.

Then the bridge happens and you see your soulmate for the first time in a year. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest as you run towards him. You watch as he attacks Steve, you see Steve's shock as the mask falls off and you hear his heartbroken voice when he calls out for his friend. You hear Bucky’s crushing answer. You run, tackling him to the ground, just like you had done so many times in training. He fights back, you knew he would. You struggle with him, dodging punches and his knife. You are finally able to flip him onto the concrete and pin him down. Your heart in your throat as you stare into the eyes of your soulmate, praying as you speak that he will remember. Knowing that he has an unconscious reminder of you etched on his skin in ink. Here goes nothing. 

“Hello sunflower, the sun is up and your dreaming is done."

Tagged users: @calwitch @writerwrites

[reikunrei]

OKAY UUUH i need to put my thoughts about the final stroke p1 here right here right now fresh hot of the press i just finished watching this shit less than 30 seconds ago let’s gooooo

anyway just a precursor like. none of this is going to make sense bc ive only watched it once so i dont remember everything (barely remember anything from road to the world which i probably should’ve watched again before this bc they would like mention things and i’d just be there like ?????? wha??? but ANYWAY)

these are also going to be very disjointed and not following the order of scenes bc im hgdfjk my brain is going 1000000 mph

god like the first half of it is so fun and just like. really just diving back into the whole FEELING of the series. like everyone just being friends, having fun, talking about swimming, swimming together

i can’t tell you how happy i am that we got to see the entirety of haru, rin, AND ikuya’s races like. i’d gotten so used to like. just seeing haru’s or just seeing rin’s and then it just cutting to like the results of the other or w/e, so i love love love that we got some devoted time to all of them inn sydney

also going insane over the like. makoto seeing himself trying to reach haru and just not being able to at all no matter how hard he tries

and how haru in that vision is all sad and lonely like how haru is becoming based on the events of the end of the film

AND LIKE LIKE

LIKE HARU HAS PEOPLE who want to help him and be close to him and love and cherish him and want him to succeed

even after his filter went completely down and he said THAT to rin, rin walked off and was like “of course i still care” or w/e like... even HE can’t be all that mad at haru, at least not in any real long-term sense

i still feel like the video interview things at the beginning are gonna be what wakes haru up out of this stupor. i want that so bad. like why else would THOSE be the opening scene of the movie like come ON

i want haru to go back somewhere, like to the high school or SOMETHING, or maybe somebody forces him to watch them, and he sees how much people love and care about him by stumbling across those tapes

god the albert possession fucks me up tho. i thought it was gonna be mostly silly and like. kinda cringe. but man. it was fucked UP it HURTS. i think it mostly had to do w shimazaki’s performance, i always forget how much i love him as haru and he does a REALLY good job stretching haru’s character to really make him unhinged when he’s so normally quiet and borderline monotone. like haru isn’t a flat character by any means, but he’s not very expressive either, so to see shimazaki get to flex those muscles in this role is SUPER nice

the scene where haru almost fell down the stairs fucked me up too LMAO i was like oh shit he REALLY fucked himself up he is not himself at ALL

and to see that just keep happening

everyone in this show has abandonment issues god

i am going crazy oh my god okay

and just. to see him going even farther down that rabbit hole. feeling like everyone is going to leave him. like makoto left before he got to say whatever motivational quip he was going to say, and then rin drops it in his lap that both he AND ikuya are not goinng to be swimming free at the next tournament, and like........ man just realized how that reminds me of when makoto just dropped in his lap that he had decided to go to tokyo

even when makoto walked away to go back home it mirrored exactly that scene in s2 when haru leaves makoto standing there...... ugh my heart

ANYWAY

i am super fucked up and also pissed off at ryuji!!!! like. i dont think ive ever disliked him as much as other people do, like he’s just a grouchy old man and haru was listening to him, but also pushing back against him and keeping him somewhat in his lane

and it was really nice to see haru so adamantly be like “im not giving anything up” in this movie like. and how that sparked something in ryuji. but now at the end when haru was like “yeah im ready to give everything up” ........ i really hope ryuji also plays a part in getting haru to wake up? bc it’ll also be an interesting wake-up for ryuji himself?

he is such an asshole tho hsgdfjgk i do love how they put scenes back to back of haru x ryuji, rin x mikhail, and ikuya x natsuya, and even throw in there makoto x nao x sousuke! like, we got to see the swimmer/coach dynamic between all of them and got to see how NOT GOOD ryuji is in comparison to all of them lmao. like sure being analytical is good, but damn give the kid some room to breathe LMAO

and god. i do love albert. he’s such a weird scary motherfucker but god god god i’m so intrigued by this weird fucked up dynamic he has with his coach? or whoever he is? im not even really sure. but like. he’s living his dream through albert rather than letting albert be his own person. but then it’s interesting bc haru (and everyone else) sees albert as this big scary foreboding guy. which like, he is, but i think they all have a twisted view of him? like they see him as this powerhouse and NOTHING else

i think haru has seen albert interacting w other people in his entourage and like. seen some weird dynamics between them? but it’s all very behind-doors right now, so like. everyone sees him as a “villain” for lack of a better word, when albert really just wants to swim and like. be normal? like i don’t think his words of “i want to be stronger” are truly his

i really really really would love to see albert tie into haru’s awakening more. like, after haru gives up his relationships bc we all know at this point that that’s 100% for sure what he’s gonna do, i feel like. like maybe he will have a better performance, but it’s just so Not Him that he’s not even a worthy opponent? and then albert gets fucked up about it and is like “man what happened, this isn’t good at all, what did you do to yourself?”

like. right now haru is trying to be more like albert, but i think albert is trying to be more like haru

unless im like. totally misreading everything about his character, but im thinking of like. s3 and rttw, with him hanging out with haru, his “the water favors you” quote, him getting excited when he saw haru doing really well in his race while he was like. getting his drive from his friends and whatnot. like!!! i really feel like it could be a fun little switcharoo to do!!!

god. that’s my biggest thing rn, i love the dynamic between haru and albert and how there’s this friction within both of their characters as they try to become like one another

ugh god okay i need to stop bc. i have work tomorrow and need to go to bed ghsfdjk im sure i’ll have more thoughts and write more as i mull over the movie more, and maybe watch it again next weekend, but ugh. holy shit

holy. fucking. shit

i can’t wait for part 2

overall im super pleased with the movie. i was worried i really wouldn’t like it, but they did a very very good job and like. kept it really grounded to its roots and the original dynamics and bonds, while also having a TON of really good stuff with new dynamics (ie. rin and ikuya, makoto and sousuke, etc.)

[trashogram]

Smut I’ll probably never finish; we’ll call it practice: Killer Croc/Reader

Edit: Warnings for painful sex, slight gore/blood, and violence 

I didn’t expect people outside of those who humor me on this blog to actually read this, but I appreciate everyone who did! I’m putting up a few warnings by request if anyone else is interested.  

“You really meant it, huh?” He asked.

The guttural voice gave you shivers, up and down your spine. Your legs tightened around his waist, bare skin rubbing over the scaly texture assuredly.

“Yes.” You confirmed, knowing that you had to choose your words carefully, otherwise you’d offend him. At least, that was how you thought you would react if you were a killer crocodile man getting a taste of intimacy after God knows how long.

Your slight movements actually managed to push him forward slightly, more out of surprise than your own strength. Again, you weren’t some super-strong mutant, able to lift cars and topple buildings.

He grunted, leaning down until his upper body was atop yours and his enormous hands were on either of you. He stared down at you with yellow eyes that mezmerised; they were unnatural looking and yet still so human - full of little flickers of emotions. The lust was obvious and it made the heat between your thighs that much more intense, but Croc was also questioning. His hesitance shouldn’t have surprised you, but you found yourself melting just a little at the fact that he was waiting for you to change your mind.  

Your hand rose, reaching out toward his chest and sliding up from his pectorals all the way to his jaw. He was scaly from head to toe, but there were parts of him that were softer than others. His neck was strangely fragile, like the underbelly of a reptile rather than their hide.

“Can I kiss you?” You whispered, swallowing at the way his brow arched.

“Kiss?” He said, tone slightly incredulous. “You wanna… kiss me…?”

“Oh, do you not want… do you not like them?” The statement didn’t take into account that Croc had possibly never been kissed in his entire life, and you’d put it like that on purpose. He didn’t exude any kind of touchy-feely behavior to suggest he’d been given the chance to decide if he liked physical touch like that at all.

His mouth closed, teeth hidden behind a set jaw. “If it’s what you want, lady. Go for it.”

You smiled softly, and raised yourself up just enough to be within kissing distance. Your lips puckered and you pressed them against his straight as a line mouth, noting that this area was hard but not rough. There was give to it, reminding you more of human flesh as his lips parted slightly.

You moaned, accepting the quick draw and release of his breath into you. You could feel his coarse chest against yours, and the heart inside beating quickly as he let himself relax. He groaned into your mouth finally, humming as if he were tasting something particularly delicious while you coaxed his tongue into your mouth.

You pressed your forehead against his before breaking away for air, letting him know without explicitly saying it that you just needed to breathe and weren’t trying to escape. Not that you could from underneath him.

Croc panted with you. “You sure you ain’t never killed a man before? Probably could, if you kissed ‘em like that.”

You closed your eyes and laughed, feeling lightheaded. Your fingers stroked over his cheek and along his jawline as you felt his grip around you tighten up. He squeezed you, carefully but with purpose, holding you firmly.

+++

Leaning down, you kissed the criminal again while balancing yourself with your hands pressed down over his ribcage. Pushing the hair away from your face before rising again, you reached back and easily found his cock and aligned yourself with it.

You inhaled slowly, determination strengthening your resolve as you continued to sink down onto him. The head was fully inside, but you were still far and away from taking all of his length.  

He growled, claws tensed around your waist. It was enough to make you brace yourself with a hand on his forearm.

You grunted. “Tell me how it feels, big guy. Please. I wanna know.”

The sweet request took a while to get through to his brain, but Killer Croc eventually came back to reality. His eyes were glazed over, but you could still see your reflection. You were the only thing in his world.  

“‘S like heaven.” He murmured.

The praise made you blush. Your stomach unclenched as a new sense of confidence flooded your senses, and you went back to working your way down so that he could have more. It was very much work, even as the crocodilian man helped by taking some of your weight. He held you up when you needed to pause, though it became evident that he’d started shaking.

You dragged one hand from his abdomen to your center, circling your clit. It sent a jolt of electricity through your body, reminding you to let yourself feel this experience.

       Your walls clenched around Croc, and you whimpered. It was completely drowned out as the beast under you snarled at the sudden vice. You jerked back as his hips moved upward in a shallow thrust and suddenly you were there. Your ass was seated firmly on his hips.

He was in bliss, head tossed back against the cell floor. “Ahh, that’s … uuugh, real good.”

You giggled affirmatively, allowing yourself a moment to bask in the triumph of taking all of him. You felt beyond full, stretched to a limit many women couldn’t likely accommodate lest they risk injuring themselves.

You were nice and durable, though. Even as you pressed back down on his chest for leverage and began to lift yourself halfway up again. You looked down between your legs and saw how shiny the base of his cock was already, then lowered back down. Again, and then again.

The wetness was a blessing. You were sliding up and down within a minute, unending fullness that kept you walking the line between pleasure and pain.

You cried out as Killer Croc made another attempt at thrusting. It was still slight, but there was no way for it to go unnoticed. He continued to growl, letting one claw grip onto your thigh while the other left you entirely to dig into the floor.

It was so easy to get overwhelmed, and yet the noises you made seemed to egg him on. He got into a disjointed rhythm, really trying to fuck you in earnest.

He was too big. The thrusts felt like being shivved in the pelvis while he hit the farthest he could go inside of you. Yet, you couldn’t do more than squeal and shriek as you bounced violently.

The nails on your thigh dug in and pierced your flesh. You covered your mouth to muffle a scream at the pain, but Croc took advantage. He pulled you forward, squeezing you to him and thrusting faster.

The danger of this getting out of hand had been reached and you felt dizzy and helpless. You couldn’t focus on any one thing whether it be the blood sliding down your leg or the stab of him against your cervix. You sobbed, eternally grateful for your bodily resilience as you were split apart.

This wasn’t going to kill you, even if it felt exactly like that.

“Fuck! I’m, ugh!” His words were punctuated with fast, shallow thrusts. Howling out, he completely immobilized you and buried himself to the hilt before you realized that he’d cum.

Heat filled you, stinging as it joined the static sensation of hurt and tingling inside. You could barely feel the rest of your body, only noting that the base of your spine felt like it was being shocked.

Croc’s relief sounded like a combination of deep growl and a nasal grunting. His hold on you went lax as soon as he had emptied everything inside you.

—-

The sound was distant, faraway thunder that still shook the ground beneath. It was simultaneously comforting and bizarre feeling the earth beneath you giving and taking. Not to mention the strange texture - inconsistently smooth until your arms lowered over its slope and you touched a much harder surface underneath.

Were you lying in some kind of plateau? Or a strange rock that was smooth at its peak and jagged at the base?

Eyelids fluttering, you squinted. There was harsh, ugly light above you, casting a glare against the thick glass before your eyes. It was a wall of glass, thicker than the thickest plaster wall you could find in an apartment in the Narrows.

You connected the dots then, and your head rose with a bit of effort so that you could confirm that you were still laying on Killer Croc.

Yes, he was still there and still breathing. And so were you.

Thank god.

Your lower half felt numb, except for the thick object still lodged inside of you. You grimaced a bit trying to pick yourself up with the added weight of his arms still embracing you, but his softening cock eventually slipped out of you.  

The cum was thick and white, no different from a completely human man’s. The feel of it dripping out of your core was just as satisfying while you struggled to catch your breath.

You were quivering when you felt Croc’s arms drag over your back, pleasantly scraping over your soft skin as he kept your body atop his own securely. He clearly didn’t give a shit about being covered in your combined fluids.

[eldritch-elrics]

i rewatched the entire ice age series and i have opinions

after rewatching some of the madagascar movies, me and @calocybe​ decided to embark on a quest to watch more animated series from our childhood. an obvious choice was ice age! so, i present to you: finn’s comprehensive ice age opinions masterpost.

read on for an in-depth review of each movie, my opinions on what the series does well (good animation, really fun chase scenes) and what it does not so well (manny is an awful protagonist), and some other things too (like my analysis of queerness in ice age)

first of all, a ranking of the five movies from best to worst:

ice age

dawn of the dinosaurs

collision course

the meltdown

continental drift

first movie

definitely the best

accidental baby acquisition…

it’s just a really good premise. three bros with completely different personalities are forced to work together towards a common goal that doesn’t even benefit any of them personally!

it’s silly and charming and well-written

diego’s arc is especially well-done and it’s easy to follow the way his personality and opinions change

my theory is that they made this movie because they wanted to show off how good they were at animating ice. most of the models and stuff are not very realistically rendered but the ice is honestly pretty impressive

honestly hilarious, has really good visual gags

one of my favorite parts is where they go into the ice cave and find like the ufo and stuff

also the baby does the vulcan hand sign at the ufo which was so subtle and REALLY funny

the ice slide scene. incredible

and then it transitions to the cave painting part with a fantastic depiction of manny’s backstory in a way that’s honestly heart-wrenching??

i wonder if the death of his own family is the cause of his annoying clinginess in later movies, especially with regards to peaches. unfortunately this never comes up again

there are some genuinely emotionally affecting moments in this movie, especially with the humans (when the human woman gives away her baby, when they return the baby to the group) - plus, kudos for conveying all that emotion with no dialogue

this is the only movie where manny’s emotional stuntedness is actually somewhat endearing rather than aggravating

this is also the movie with the most interesting villains - they feel like an especially relevant threat to the protags, and putting diego in with manny and sid creates both good tension and good humor

i wonder why the humans never came back. i think subsequent movies could have benefited from their presence, though i have no idea in what ways. not sure how they would’ve pulled it off but having the baby they rescued in the first movie appear as an adult in a later movie is a plot point that i think would have had the potential to be really powerful

second movie (the meltdown)

pretty underwhelming after the first movie

plot feels disjointed and the climax is weak

i feel like they were trying to go for this sort of found family vs nuclear family / reproductive futurism bent but didn’t entirely succeed and instead made the themes feel muddled. especially after the first movie which was all about rejecting heteronormative standards of family, having manny suddenly go “oop i’m the last mammoth better Reproduce” was a bit jarring

even if he isn’t actually the last mammoth, it feels like the wrong way to start a romance

in general the romance between ellie and manny isn’t very well-done in my opinion.

manny should’ve apologized for getting so offended when ellie freaked out about the pressure to save their species, but instead ellie apologized for “overreacting” for some reason???

number of biblical parallels: a surprising amount??

you’ve got. sid as a jesus figure to the sloth tribe, the ark saving them from the flood, scrat as moses??

the villains in this one were super boring they were just like… evil fish…

ok i’ve said too many mean things about this movie. to atone let me present this opinion: the scene where the vultures sing a parody of “food, glorious food” from oliver completely unprompted is one of the best moments in the series

also the possum brothers are wonderful

third movie (dawn of the dinosaurs)

this was my favorite as a kid!!

it’s still really good

it doesn’t take itself seriously and that’s wonderful. like… dinosaurs? in the ice age? objectively stupid plot. who cares

buck is the best character ever he’s so much fun

buck’s entire thing is also being a VERY cliche kooky adventurer but the way that they play with it and are self-aware about it makes it good

also i legitimately get chills at the scene where he explains his tragic backstory with rudy

god the romance with the female scrat is SO stupid but at least they’re clearly making fun of romantic tropes here

good team-building shenanigans, like the laughing gas sequence

there’s probably something to be said about the ways that family is portrayed in this movie but sorry i’m too busy looking at the scene where they get swallowed by a giant plant and buck has to like cut its veins like he’s diffusing a bomb

also i do need to mention that the scene where they find the carnage of sid’s attempt at feeding vegetables to the dino babies and buck goes off on his whole silly detective-shtick about what must’ve happened (“leaving broccoli… a vegetable!!!”) was my favorite scene in the series as a kid. it’s so wonderfully absurd!

there are a surprising amount of dick jokes in this movie? and by that i mean like 2 but. it’s really funny rewatching this and going “holy shit”

there’s also a joke about a butterfly dude that i’m pretty sure is a trans joke (“i knew that guy as a caterpillar! yknow, before he came out”) so that was also pretty funny

this movie parallels the first 2 by 1. having sid take care of kids and 2. having a group of creatures who copy all of sid’s wacky movements. i don’t have anything more to say i just think that’s funny

buck and rudy are kismeses send tweet

fourth movie (continental drift)

yeah okay this one’s the worst

it takes itself too seriously and that is its downfall

feels tonally off from the other ones

i saw this movie during the height of my hyperfixation on plate tectonics and i remember being very offended at the fact that they made such a mockery of the way it actually worked… :pensive:

(granted, poorly-done science is a cornerstone of ice age, so i can’t really say shit)

anyway this one really felt like a jumble of cliches. the enemies-to-lovers thing with diego! peaches’ teenager problems! manny’s troubles of raising a teenager! all the mean girls! evil pirates! sirens! woooo!

it just didn’t feel all that original and it didn’t play with the tropes like 3 did

what is it in this series with guys not apologizing for their sexism and then getting the girl anyway

also wow. damsels in distress much

sheera’s design is also such a generic “female animal” look

the ape dude was a boring villain and too much of the movie focused on the pirates

okay BUT the sea shanty scene slapped. had some good rhythm and clever lyrics

lewis was good and i’m glad he stayed friends with peaches

the water was well-animated! maybe they made this movie so they could show off how good they were at rendering water

the chipmunk creatures on the island are like knockoff minions/ewoks

in general this movie felt way less funny than the others. less punchy dialogue

fifth movie (collision course)

solidly in the middle of my movie ranking. not as good as 1 or 3, better than 2 and 4

this was my first time seeing this movie! which means that my view of it isn’t colored by nostalgia, and also that i have a lot more to say about it i guess

first of all it’s wild to see how much the animation has progressed… this one was so well-rendered wow

i liked this one a lot more than i expected to! it was a good time, and, like 3, didn’t take itself seriously, which is always great

the whole thing is built off a lot of bullshit science which offends my inner scifi nerd BUT i think they pulled it off quite well

the fact that they got neil degrasse tyson to do voiceovers is just so funny

they’ve firmly established by now that the ice age universe can fully ignore the laws of science when it wants to, especially with regards to scrat and his butterfly-effect influence on the world

okay buckle up because i have a lot to say about scrat actually.

scrat’s ability to influence the universe has been steadily increasing as the series goes on, so it made sense that he would be the catalyst for the apocalypse in this one

and also the catalyst for the creation of the solar system i guess?? which was very stupid. i say that in an endearing way. that beginning scene was super fun & wacky

absolutely brilliant way to bring the ufo from movie 1 back btw

ok so the prophecy tablet thing that buck brings back? he finds it by pressing a button with the outline of an acorn on it and that’s very interesting to me

at that point in the movie i was really invested because i thought that scrat and the protagonists were finally going to be forced to confront each other on the same level. the idea that ice age might finally break its unwritten rule of “the protags can never know scrat as the force of global change that he really is” was legitimately exciting to me, and it seemed appropriate for the last movie in the franchise

unfortunately this did not happen. scrat just keeps doing his silly scrat shenanigans

um anyway let’s talk about some of the other characters!

manny continues to suck. more on this in the “low points as a franchise” section

peaches was actually really good in this one! she’s grown out of her “teenage stereotype” phase and into a character with a believable narrative about growing up and moving out.

her boyfriend is adorable and i was surprised to discover i actually liked their relationship!

sid did not need to be paired off though. neither did diego. what is up with kids’ movies and their shallow heterosexual romances

buck is back and he is fruitier than ever

man i really like buck. he’s so silly and irreverent and flamboyant and it’s like kind of embarrassing to watch sometimes but it’s ok he’s just doing his own thing

the villains were pretty good in this one. i liked how the female dino didn’t have a stereotypically feminine design

on an entirely different topic: let’s talk about the aesthetic direction!

the scifi thing was super fun. like, absolutely wild for a series about the ice age, but whatever. i like scifi

like the whole superpower magnetism shit, especially the scene in the forest? great! especially reminiscent of the climax of the guardians of ga’hoole movie

however the whole dive into the crystal cave environment was a lil tonally dissonant and i think it should have been cut (introduced an entire new world/characters way too late in the plot and didn’t have time to develop them enough, went too far down the rabbit hole of magic healing crystals jokes and all that stuff which didn’t seem to relate to the rest of the story at all, introduced a fun but unnecessary girlfriend for sid, the time could have been better spent making fun of more scifi tropes and developing the villains)

brooke the sloth girl is just miranda from the tempest change my mind also that climax is on a similar level of stupid as that one episode from hoshi no kaabii where they deflect an an entire asteroid using uhhhh cannons i think

but it’s like. whatever. they’ve fucked around with science enough that they deserve this

also i just realized there were no chase scenes in this movie which is so sad??

so there are my thoughts on the individual movies. let’s talk about it as a whole!

high points as a franchise

this series consistently has VERY good chase scenes

just top-tier chase scenes with excellent comedic timing and general pacing

3 is so good because it has a chase as the climax, and that’s what ice age is good at

4 is bad because it doesn’t have a proper chase anywhere!

the animation is really good. by that i mean less like the models are realistic and more that they’re great at conveying emotion and body language through animation

like this is especially true in 1 if you look at the difference between the sort of smooth, not very realistic animation of the humans vs… scrat

like they’ve got the way scrat moves down so well it’s delightful

the movies are, generally, funny

there are good messages about found family, especially in the first couple

low points as a franchise

alright i had a bunch of these written out as universal truths about the series and then 5 actually improved on many of them! so here are some criticisms that apply to the first four movies only:

just… every single female character? they deserve better

too many damsels in distress

all the fat jokes about manny are so unnecessary

the romances are really boring and not very well-written or believable

okay with those out of the way here’s the real biggest issue with the series: manny is an awful protagonist

heterosexual “no fun allowed” man

they keep him sucky so he can have a fresh new character flaw to be worked on in the next movie but that seems like a bad formula for character development, especially how many of his character flaws seem to be related to mistreating the women in his life

the man’s got a major possessiveness issue

he is just the archetypical slightly shitty husband/dad who forgets the anniversary and doesn’t let his daughter see boys and calls women hysterical and yes he does get better at each of the individual problems and he does love his family but that development feels so shallow!

manny is absolutely making AITA posts and getting labeled the asshole

it also feels like he never truly learns from his mistakes. he needs to be learning to apologize properly and most importantly to communicate properly! there’s so little emotional reality to his development and the script always seems to give him the benefit of the doubt when he doesn’t deserve it.

plus, this series is meant for kids and i just don’t think manny is an appropriate or relatable protagonist for that audience?

on a mostly unrelated note, yes i do like the found family themes but when it starts pairing up every single character and implying that all of them are gonna be monogamous het couples and have kids and conform to the nuclear family model. that’s pretty sad

some more random thoughts

my dad once said that ice age fails as a franchise because the premise of the first movie was not strong enough to support sequels. i think i kind of agree - you can see in 2 they’re trying to worldbuild off what little they established in the first movie, and also set up a bigger cast of characters, while still keeping up the “man vs nature” theme that’s such a cornerstone of the series.

i’m not sure they completely succeed. the worldbuilding of ice age isn’t necessarily weak but i do think they could have done more to round out the world and make it feel less like just a prehistoric clone of ours

there’s something about the first movie that makes it feel like a moment suspended in time. we don’t learn very much about the pasts of the characters and they get enough development in one movie that we (or at least i) don’t feel any desperate need to know their futures. it feels complete!

so in all the other movies are working with a set of characters who have ostensibly completed their development. so in each new movie, they need to give the characters more problems. usually this comes from external factors, like new characters. a couple times they do a pretty good job introducing new internal problems for the characters - diego’s quest to get over his fear of water was a pretty good one i thought.

but after a while the main trio just stagnates. diego, once the most compelling character, becomes pretty boring. he doesn’t have anything to do anymore. i’ve already talked about manny - each movie he reverts back into an asshole and it gets old so fast. sid’s a little better; he’s got issues with his family and a desire for a family of his own and all that, but more often than not the conclusions to his arcs are unsatisfying

sid plays the role of the character who’s doomed to never get exactly what he wants, except, like, in a way that’s supposed to be funny. we pity him!

i think he has some archetype parallels with escargon from hoshi no kaabii (why do i keep mentioning hoshi no kaabii) but i am not going into that here oh boy

i feel like i’m juggling a lot in my head right now, but sid’s position as the comedic scapegoat is interesting. i’m sure there’s more to unpack here but i’ve already gone way too deep into this series

there’s also more to unpack when you consider his queercoding hmm

anyway, on that note…

additional thesis: sid the sloth is queer-coded

complicated relationship with family (they hate him and think he’s useless)

lispy voice

cares about “fem” things like children. takes care of kids in both movies 1 and 3. calls himself “mama”

gets pushed into the role of caring for the kid in 1

makes vaguely gay comments at his male friends, like “you have beautiful eyes” to manny

there are literally so many jokes in the first movie like. diego’s “you guys are an odd couple” to manny and sid

that whole part in 4 where he’s trying to kiss the sirens and kisses diego instead and is like “wow romantic”

not interested in the idea of a nuclear/traditional family. see his shenanigans with the dino babies

he is interested in women throughout the series though (bi rights)

5 especially tunes down the queercoding and tunes up the “awkward guy who can’t get girls” angle

so. ice age. is it fun? yes! i definitely enjoyed rewatching the series with my friend. and kids will probably get a kick out of the slapstick and silly dialogue. but if you’re not a kid and looking to (re)watch any of them, i’d probably just stick to the first one.

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (12/16/2020)?

Iron Man #4: Still good! Every issue I remain surprised that this is staying good, and yet it does!

The Immortal Hulk #41: A real good revisitation from a completely different angle of the ‘here’s why regular superheroes can’t fix what’s going on here’ thread from way back in #7, and god between this and Empyre Ewing writes such a perfect Ben Grimm.

King In Black: The Immortal Hulk: Surprised this didn’t end up a direct follow-up on the dangling thread left behind from the Absolute Carnage tie-in, but this was excellent so I’m not complaining.

Solid Blood #17: A new Robert Kirkman comic (joined by Ryan Ottley) announced right before its release like Die! Die! Die! before it, this one has the added gimmick of dropping its seventeenth issue with no preamble. The actual comic...well, the actual comic is basically 1963 for the 90s in the most fun way (it’s even printed on authentically fitting paper stock!), but the seeds of something much stranger are established and I have almost no clue what to expect next, quite literally. It must be nice to have that sort of fuck-you Walking Dead money, and I’m glad Kirkman’s choosing to do something as weird and interesting as this with it.

We Live #3: This one felt somewhat disjointed, but still an excellent experience.

Stillwater #4: I cannot believe I’m getting and enjoying so many horror comics on a regular basis now.

Once & Future #14: I keep saying I’m appreciating and decently enjoying this book while not connecting with it, but maybe it is winning me over.

We Only Find Them When They’re Dead #4: Get this book.

Decorum #6: I swear to god this series might be the prettiest comic of all time.

Commanders in Crisis #3: I didn’t review this one for AIPT, but this one’s a bit of a bridge between the first two issues tonally, both as grounded and as weird as the book has been thus far. I’m ready for it to return to something more bombastic, but I still have zero doubt this is going to be an all-timer when it wraps. No character interview with Ritesh Babu on AIPT this month, BUT in its place @deathchrist2000 has interviewed Prizefigher for Comic Book Herald on the subject of an in-universe James Bond novel written by Steven Moffat, and it rules.

Second Coming: Only Begotten Son #1: To borrow a line from @deathchrist2000, that sure is the death of Krypton as portrayed by the writer of The Flintstones. That’s the opposite of a complaint for me, but that’s sure what it is.

Superman #28: Kind of a perfect ending to Bendis’s tenure, in that it ends up totally whiffing some great ideas even if you can only mind so much given the quality of the character insight with the narration, but then there’s a Superman Moment so perfect it breaks your heart. Very glad Bendis will keep writing him in his half-announced Justice League with Marquez, and that he said today he’ll keep writing him elsewhere as well (I continue to assume he’s working on a Future State-era Jon as Superman book). Let’s see how well Action can put even more of a bow on it next week even with that art holding it back.

Batman #105: Does the ending here totally make sense? Ehhh. Am I willing to forgive any lapses in logic that get us way more Ghost-Maker? Hell yes. Speaking of which, he and Bruce totally used to be a thing off-panel, right? That’s the vibe I got from the opening in a BIG way.

Catwoman #28: I’ve been saying I’ve been loving it but also been waiting for what it looks like when it gets out from under Brubaker’s shadow, and I think I’m starting to see it, and it’s definitely my jam.

The Batman’s Grave #12: So someone either didn’t see or didn’t care that I explained I had already checked with my store to ensure my purchase of this wouldn’t result in any money going to Warren Ellis, so they messaged me spoilers for the ending of the issue in an attempt to ‘dissuade me’ from any further interest. A. Wherever the motives there are coming from, incredible dick move, for the love of god don’t do this. B. They misunderstood what happened in the ending? Wild. Anyway, it’s fine but also Ellis’s fourth-best Batman comic, strange if not at all undeserved that his now presumed/hopeful final Big Two comic, intended as a huge prestige Batman perennial (still confused why it wasn’t Black Label) and sure to forever be pushed as such if not for outside circumstances, ended up one of his passable third-tier works, destined to be remembered only as “that Batman comic DC had to finish publishing even after it turned out Warren Ellis was a piece of shit”.

Rorschach #3: Standard policy regarding my comments on this series applying: it was good.

Dark Nights: Death Metal #6: This one...kinda blew? Totally perfunctory moving-the-pieces into place issue for the most part, one or two nice moments aside. What a disappointing capstone to a story from 2017 to now I largely loved, hope it at least delivers a few haymakers with the finale.

Tales of the Dark Multiverse: Crisis on Infinite Earths: Mixed feelings. The beginning and ending are the sort of slaughter in mass of super-dopes without fanfare and on such a scale that it reminds me of World’s Funnest doing the exact same scenes for comedy, but that middle chunk? By god, Orlando makes me give a shit about the JSA, and that’s no mean feat, plus nice to see him write a few great Superman bits on his way out the door. Speaking of which, I’m mainly parsing this issue as an expression of Orlando’s bitterness over said exit and his time with DC as a comic about a big swaggering puffed-up dumbass living for destruction before whom our heroes our powerless, and a man has to sacrifice himself for a queer kid in servitude to it so that they can have a future and keep building that world. I liked it in balance, but I think I found it more interesting than good.

(Since I’m mentioning two Orlando books in here, worth noting I read this week his and Ricardo López Ortiz’s The Pull on Comixology. I’m not clear if it was released in single issues - I can’t quite wrap my head around TKO’s publishing model - but it’s basically an unholy mash between shonen manga, grungy noir crime comics, and a Crisis, and it rules and you should get it.)

The Green Lantern Season Two #10: What a strange, messy, fascinating capstone to Morrison’s DC work this series has turned out to be, and holy cow how has this been Liam Sharp lately? When did he get on this amazing Frazer Irving shit? And how is Ultrawar gonna happen and be resolved entirely within #12, unless it goes for a more abstract “The Ultrawar was really inside us all along!” conclusion?

[hiirolangley]

Okay, we’re discussing Maruma ships now so here are some not on the main list yet! + my rambling and disjointed thoughts as they occurred to me. 

So there was the brief Flynn x Yuuri mutual crush thing that happened in Shimaron.  The almost-touch in Big Shimaron when Flynn reaches out to him springs to mind as well as the 'kiss' to knock Yuuri out and their dance at the ball where they just end up holding each other.  Although Yuuri very clearly decides in his brain not to like her in the end and Flynn is like, I'm married to Caloria, there was still a little something there (and it probably partially contributed to how much Wolf hates her XD).  Throwing in my thoughts about this one here... it's kinda ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.....  I mean, Wolfram is one thing because the whole mazoku aging thing, but Flynn is a human in her twenties and Yuuri is sixteen.  It's definitely ehhhhhh..........  I’m not calling the police or anything especially since nothing happened, just giving it a major side-eye.  In any case, this crush is significant because once Yuuri decides in words in his head not to fall in love with her, he stops looking at women altogether.  Name another woman from that point on that he fanboys over like he did all the time prior to meeting Flynn.

Sticking to Flynn, Flynn x Norman were a married couple and they did truly seem to be in love.  Just by how much she fights for her late husband's land and people and talks about how she regrets never having the chance to have his children and how she completely betrayed her family's expectations to infiltrate Norman's family for political fuckery, I think it's pretty obvious.

Also Conrad x Maidmer Princess!!!  How could you forget the most iconic pairing of the entire series!!  XDDD She's the one and only woman Conrad out loud admits to being in love with (although honestly not sure how that worked because they couldn't even have a conversation, but oh well).  The story this came from also gave us many fun moments ranging from Josak trying to set extremely obviously straight Conrad up with a group of crossdressers, Gwendal's mind getting blown like 10x in a row thinking that extremely obviously straight Conrad was sleeping with men (including Josak) but then trying to assure Conrad through his shock that he’ll be okay with it while Conrad freaks out, Gwendal wholeheartedly ready to accept a fish lady as his sister in law, Yuuri accidentally insulting the fuck out of Conrad's room, Conrad being worried that Yuuri was calling him boring for a minute before getting mentally smacked in the face by Yuuri complaining about being rated 88% unfuckable (and Conrad thinking to himself, well yeah of course), and just Conrad's POV in general which is always fun because he is a little shit XDDD  Also I love when he was thinking to himself, I spent the war sleeping with all sorts of women, some of whom were married, and when the war was over people called me a Whore Prince... and then the first complaint he makes about that is along the lines of I’m not a prince, dumbasses.  What a fucking gift to humanity that story was.

Getting off my Crack!otp, there’s Cherie's 3 husbands!  I think volume 5's prologue sums that up best so I’ll just direct people there.

And then, Yuuri’s parents!  Shouma x Miko.  The couple that should not have lasted because they literally went on like 5 dates before Shouma confessed to being a mazoku and Miko was like OMG MARRY ME NOW SO I CAN HAVE MAZOKU BABIES despite thinking he was lame af beforehand... and then they got married XDD  I feel like every time they appear on page together they get into an argument or misunderstanding, but they’re still together so /shrug

That’s all I can think of right now~  

Moving on...

My otp for this series is the royal couple.  How often is my otp the official endgame couple!?  NEVER!  Lord knows I get Second Lead Syndrome on every damn story I read/watch, but for this series I’m not rooting for Conrad.  Way back in my early maruma fangirling days, I liked Yuuram and Conyuu equally because who doesn’t love anyone Morikawa Toshiyuki voices?  I know that could be hard to believe I liked opposing ships the same amount, but that’s an actual thing that happened.  Once I grew up, the Conyuu went away.  That kinda sounds insulting to Conyuu shippers, but it’s not.  Let me explain~  Psychoanalyzing myself, me liking Conyuu was more me being like, Conrad would be the perfect boyfriend! instead of Conrad and Yuuri are great together!, but when I got older I was like, holy hell he would actually be the worst boyfriend after a while no thanks??? XDDDDD  That’s a whoooole other post I probably won’t make~  Anyway, we all have embarrassing college-aged memories whether you attended or not so let’s move on.

Anyway, I know Conyuu is baited all the time and rereading the Maidmer Princess story reminded me that Conrad says looking at Yuuri’s sleeping face gave him the same feeling as looking at the maidmer he fell in love with, but there’s no way that relationship’s gonna pan out canonically.  I feel like I’m playing with fire saying that though o.o

Moving on again, ships I fully support would be:

Yuuri x Wolf

Gwendal x Anissina

Adalbert x Julia (you know, in a posthumous way)

And you know what???  Josak x Murata.  The chaos.  The pure Bisexual Chaos™.  I’m here for that.

Also on the topic of couples!  Let’s talk about Nicola and Hube.  I have feelings here.  Say what you want about Wolfram, at least he’s mentally on the same page as Yuuri.  Gegenhuber is a whole ass man who knocked up a 15/16 year old.  I know they made her older in the anime, but don’t believe those lies!  Do I need to elaborate how he’s gross?  I don’t think so.  BUT, I do like how sensei filtered it through Yuuri’s POV.  (Fyi, I realize the following is partially headcanon) As an also 16yo, this grossness does not cross Yuuri’s mind at all.  In fact, the only thing he remarks on is that he can’t believe she was pregnant and getting married to another man ... but it crosses Gwendal’s.  Adult Gwendal is FURIOUS when he finds out Nicola is pregnant.  He was already mad because he hates Gegenhuber and was getting irritated that he and Nicola were in love/told her he’d use the mateki to help humans, but when he finds out she’s preggers and they totally had sex he loses his shit.  I dunno, it’s like sensei properly communicated that a teenager wouldn’t necessarily recognize the fucked-up nature of a man in his twenties (or the mazoku version of that) starting a relationship with a 15yo and that they also might misinterpret the anger of the older people who do know better.  

And like a cherry on top, Gwen’s anger is solely directed at Gegenhuber, not Nicola.  After this adventure, Gwendal personally takes super good care of Nicola and makes sure she’s set up nicely with the Grisela family and even visits her regularly... and then when Gegenhuber wakes up, Gwendal almost kicks him to death.  Seriously, he literally kicked him so much Anissina had to heal him so he wouldn’t die (and while she was healing him she was like, you’re fucking gross and I wouldn’t care if you dropped dead here, but I kinda have to do this.)  I dunno, I feel like there are so many reasons for people to hate Gegenhuber, I can’t make the claim that this is 100% significantly adding to the hatred.  Would you notice another drop in a bucket?  But this is my opinion on the matter~  Anyway, it’s 1:30am and I need to stop typing!

[gayenerd]

This is a 2017 interview done by a fan for the fansite, Green Day Authority. It’s super disjointed and fan interviews never ask tough questions, but eh. 

Recently, we asked Green Day's management if it would be possible to get an exclusive interview for GDA, our first ever. After some coordination, it was agreed that I could interview them in Omaha (a show I had already planned to attend). I found out on Wednesday afternoon that I would be interviewing them on Saturday, but fortunately, I had already been preparing a list of questions in case it worked out. Before I go any further, I'll tell you that I had a LOT more questions on my list than there was time for. So, if you're wondering why I didn't ask something in particular, it's probably because we ran out of time. That is the only thing I would change about my whole experience if I had the opportunity. The arrangement was that one of the tour managers would meet me at the back entrance of the arena before sound check. After going through two layers of security, that's exactly what happened. I was the only non-crew person in sound check (!) and it simply felt surreal to be in that position. I enjoyed it greatly but was, of course, also thinking about how the upcoming interview would go. I wanted to represent GDA and the fan community in a way that would not leave a bad impression while also getting some good discussion from the guys. After sound check, I was walked back to a room with a couch and a few chairs. I was able to get comfortable and had some help to set up my recording equipment — thanks again to Lauren Banjo and Daniel, my son, for helping me get exactly the right device for recording the interview. In just a few minutes, in walked Billie, Mike and Tre. I have to say that, in all the times I've seen them, they have never looked better. They seemed relaxed, happy, and bursting with good health. They all sat down, and we got started. Aside from running out of time (though, to be honest, it would have taken hours to work through all my questions), I'm reasonably pleased with the way it all turned out. The guys were so incredibly nice and seemed to be totally engaged in the moment we were all sharing together. They really thought about their answers and seemed to enjoy the discussion. Here's the first installment of the interview — we talked about music, touring, and special shows. I did you all a favor and removed a lot of my rambling when I was asking the questions. Enjoy! "J'net: Guys, you work so hard, and we see how hard you work. During shows, you give so much of your emotion, yourselves, and your life energy to what you do. What keeps you going and keeps you so passionate about what you're doing? Mike: You said it, 'passion.' We only know how to do this one way — give 100%. It's just driven into us, I guess. Tre: It's the way we're wired. Mike: The music moves us the same way with the energy from the crowd. Billie: I agree. We love what we do. I think there've even been times when I thought, 'Maybe I'll take it easy tonight,' and then as soon as you hit the stage, it's just 'All systems go!' It's just a natural response for me. Really no other way to explain it. Mike: I always think, 'I don't know if I'll always be able to give what 100% is today, but I'll always give 100% of what I have to offer.' I don't think these engines know how to run any differently. J'net: Well, it's awesome. Your fans appreciate it so much. I wish you guys could just sometimes sit out in line, y'know? We get in line as early as we can and we compare notes ... "Well, we're driving from Kansas City as soon as the show's over..." Mike: You guys should film some of that. We never get to see it, it's cool! Film some of that interaction and maybe post some of that stuff too, it's rad! Billie & Tre: Yeah! J'net: [thinks to self: challenge accepted!] I'd be glad to do that, yeah. I mean, everybody would, even the people who know how to do that [technical stuff] … like Billie, he's pretty good with all the Facebook Lives and Instagram. Billie: Yeah, I'm getting pretty awesome — Billie Joe Zuckerberg! J'net: Right … 'Now where's the off button?...' Billie: Thank God for two young sons, man! They can tell you everything. Mike: I have to call my wife [laughs]. My wife's still young, she knows how to do that shit! J'net: Music is an emotional experience, and some of your songs are so emotional. Do you ever feel overcome by the emotion when you're performing, or are you somehow in performance mode so you can rise above it? Billie: I definitely go there. Like that line 'I'm like a son that was raised without a father,' — that's a button-pusher for me. Also with Forever Now, and also lately with playing '21 Guns' acoustic … when I get emotional is when I hear people singing along — when I hear voices that loud. I think with Green Day, we create an atmosphere that's as close to a European crowd that you can get — with people singing along, almost like a soccer anthem. And I love seeing people who are normally self-conscious when they lose it. I try to push people to just lose it when they come to our shows. Some nights, people are so pent up with energy, they don't even know that they have inside them. And I try to get people to dance like no one's watching and sing like no one's listening — just go for it! J'net: Do you have favorite show moments that you like to think back on? Billie: Smashing my guitar against the Subaru just the other night was pretty fun. [laughs] That's a first. I've never done that before. Mike: There are favorite moments of each show. We go backstage after the show, and we talk about all the rad things that happened. Billie: There's so many different things that we see going on in the crowd. There was a guy that was like an ex-hippie that was in the house the other night, I think in Portland. He was in the back, and I could see him just dancing and singing all night long. He was probably about the same age as my brother — about 65, and it was fun to just watch him. That's the kind of stuff I like to remember. " Watch for the next installment of the interview! We’ll also be sharing more of the audio from our favorite moments.

The second part of our interview focuses on the band's latest movie project, 'Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk.' They helped produce it with filmmaker and longtime friend, Corbett Redford. The day after the Omaha show, my son Daniel and I started the drive back home to Tulsa, but stopped in Kansas City to see the movie. We went to a great independent theater there, Screenland at Tapcade, and when it was time for the movie to start, we settled ourselves in for a fascinating evening. There's so much to absorb in this movie, but it's compelling all the way through. There is a great deal of history that is lovingly captured and discussed. We feel we need to see it again and again, so It's good to know that a deal is in the works to distribute for home viewing, and that, according to Corbett Redford, "the DVD, Blu-Ray is being worked on, designed, mastered and readied for manufacturing." So many people were interviewed for this movie that I couldn't possibly list them all. The interviews were often just as interesting, funny, or emotional as the vintage footage of events from the beginnings of East Bay punk. It was a touching movie with many emotional moments (at least for us). Two or three of the people who were interviewed in the movie came close to tears as they were talking about the past and their connection to the famed 924 Gilman Street. For Green Day fans, as well as fans of many of the other bands involved in those early days of East Bay punk, there is rare and wonderful vintage footage that really gives a feel for what those early days were like. The writing by Corbett Redford and Anthony Marchitiello is exceptionally fine — it tells a story that could have been overwhelmingly complex in an articulate, accessible, and moving way. The narration by Iggy Pop, the animations (credited to Tim Armstrong, J. Bonner, and Alex Koll), the cinematography and photographic direction by Greg Schneider, and the hand lettering (credited to Aaron Cometbus) are simply delightful and absolutely enrich the content of the movie. I loved the way some of the newer interview footage had a "distressed" look to be more compatible with the footage it was matched with in the film. As Corbett said when I mentioned this to him, "The distressed VHS happened as our crew filmed EVERY interview with an old VHS camera! So that wasn't an effect, it was real! We decided as a crew that VHS and black and white Xerox were going to be our two main go-to 'themes' - so Greg went and bought a VHS camera, and voila!" There were obviously a lot of eyes on this film making sure that every little detail was as perfect as could be. There's no question in my mind that it was made with hearts full of love. Here's part two of our interview: "J'net: 'Turn it Around' is getting such incredible response from most reviewers and many in the punk community. Do you feel more acceptance coming from the community than you may have felt previously? Is there a partial 'return from 86'? Mike: The spirit of the movie is that it was made by the people in the community, and if you took Green Day out of it, it's still an unbelievable documentary. We basically stepped aside and let the movie get made the way it should be made. We realized that should be the anchor — the beginning, that's the beginning. [We wanted] for people to understand the different ingredients it took to make where we are and … to make the beginning… Billie: For us, when I was talking to Corbett, it was — 'Let's do a documentary that could inspire the next generation to create their own scene and not just talk about how you had to be there.' Because almost every scene documentary I've ever seen has a 'glory days' thing about it, where, with this one, you see the people like Michelle Gonzalez, who's a teacher and an author, and Miranda July, who’s a filmmaker and artist, and there are people who are activists, still playing music and active in the community. We approached it like, 'Let's not turn this into a piss and vinegar fest.' Billie: And if it wasn't for Tim Yohannon, even though we had big differences in the past, we wouldn't have had a place to play because he, with other people, created and made Gilman Street happen - and that I'm super grateful for. So if there's a story that you watch out for, it's what Tim Yohannon has done for the bay area scene and globally also. J'net: And Corbett did a great job realizing the vision of the movie. Mike: Corbett kind of did the impossible. You talk about a bunch of people in the scene — you know everybody's in that scene because we're all latchkey kids and come from some fucked up background, right? So then you have to get all the bands to agree to put their music on it this many years later. We had no doubt that he's an incredibly intelligent person and an artful person, but he fuckin' did it. Tre: He's always been super resourceful, and it's kind of like now he's all grown up. Mike: All we had to do was talk him off the ledge a couple times. I mean, we'd go in his office, and it looked like 'A Beautiful Mind.' There's writing everywhere and he's like (Mike demonstrates hyperventilating). It started off he didn't have a beard, and then he turned into Father Time. J'net: Did the fact that he's so well-respected in the community and such a genuine person help him to get buy-in from the people who participated? Mike: And the other people he recruited, like Kamala Parks and Anthony (Marchitiello) and Eggplant and Tim Armstrong, are highly respected and helping to make this thing. And it's like, 'Wait a minute, this isn't like a Warner Brothers movie. This is people who were actually in the scene making it.' And when they would vouch for him, it became even more helpful." We're pretty sure we spotted a cameo of Mr. Redford himself, but I won't put a spoiler here by hinting where to watch for him! For the same reason, I'm not going to tell you details of my favorite parts of the movie. When the opportunity arises, you should pick out your own favorites, and next time we're sitting in line for a Green Day show, we can compare notes. Bottom line, whether you watch the movie because you're interested in the captivating history of East Bay punk or because you want to see how Green Day got their start or both, you aren't likely to be disappointed. The movie is great entertainment but also left me inspired to be the best I can be at whatever I choose to do. The passion that went into the scene way back then, and into the making of the movie itself, left its mark on me. I hope you'll find that it leaves you feeling the same way.

In part two, we talked to the band about the early days at Gilman Street and the new movie, 'Turn it Around: The Story of East Bay Punk.' "J’net: From there, Green Day has come so far. What were you dreaming about back then, have you achieved it, and do you have any dreams you haven’t realized yet — things you still want to do? Tre: Pizza! J’net: Really? You haven’t had pizza yet? [Everyone laughs — these guys are SO polite!] Mike: Back then it was like, 'Can we get a show? Can we get into Gilman?' That’s a goal. It’s always like a series of goals – like 'Let’s get a tour.' 'Oh my gosh, what would it be like to play that one club there?' Maybe it’s a different town — or Europe! 'Let’s go to Europe and tour Europe!' There’s always another thing to be done. We just like to keep it exciting. Even live — even live, if we feel it's not exciting and not eventful or we're just going through the motions, we'll do something to change that because we like to stay in the moment, too. Life should be exciting. J’net: [to Tre] When you gave the drumsticks to that little kid last night (in Kansas City) … Mike: I did that. But Tre does every night anyway. One of us will always do it." Backstory: In Kansas City, there was a little girl on her dad’s shoulders throughout much of the show, although security tried multiple times to get him to put her down. At one point, Mike’s bass tech came into the security pit and leaned through to hand her a set of drumsticks. "Mike: She was hitting right on the beat with them on her dad’s shoulders! A lot of people know this, but every night Tre hides a pair of drumsticks under a seat. J’net: Do you always know if somebody finds them? Tre: Well, I put a hashtag on them and sometimes they'll go and put a picture with #TreCoolsHiddenSticks if they found them. J'net: I would just want to know — if no one posted, did they get found? I would have to go back and see if they're still there. [laughs] Tre: Somebody will find them. I'll tape them under the seats. Mike: Eventually. Someone will find them — like at an Usher show. [laughs] J'net: Or a hockey game. [Laughter] J’net: I got to go to the Hall of Fame Induction and the House of Blues show. What a show! I was beating up on the people next to me, because every time something else exciting happened I was [grabbing people and shaking them], "Oh my God! Oh my God!" That was incredible. I want to ask how that felt, but I’m sure you all thought it felt incredible. But could you ever have dreamed that you would be there? And what gave you the idea to come out as Sweet Children, and have Tim [Armstrong of Rancid] come out and sing with y’all and … to celebrate it in that way? Billie: I think it was all about 'bringing it all back home,' to quote Bob Dylan. It was like, 'Let’s make this as fun as possible.' Just have a great time and do everything you can … there’s so much tension with a lot of bands that have gone in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that you literally can’t get them to be on the same stage at the same time. And someone will stay home. And for us, it was the opposite of that. I’d rather seize the moment to remember how we got there. You start off when you’re a kid in a band, and it’s the most exciting thing in the world. And it’s so important to inspire people to understand that it IS the most exciting thing in the world. J’net: Do y’all listen to any kind of music that you think would surprise people to know that you liked it? Mike: All kinds of music. I just like good songs. I don’t care if it’s country — or the other night Tre went out to a jazz club, and then Jason and I went out to the same jazz club after they’d left — the same jazz club, and we didn’t even know they went. And we saw an unbelievable band there in Kansas City. Tre: I like German AND Italian opera. J’net: Do you really? Seriously? Tre: [Laughs] J’net: Oh ... but THAT would have surprised people. Tre: No … just the German. [laughs] J’net: Well, I’m the Italian fan, myself. Tre: It’s all Greek to me! Greek music. Billie: I’m kind of an audiophile. I like to go deep with finding obscure power-pop bands... Tre: Billie makes the best playlists. And he’s the best DJ. Billie: I just read this book called Never a Dull Moment ['Never a Dull Moment: 1971 The Year That Rock Exploded,' by David Hepworth] and it’s all about the music that happened in 1971, so I put together a playlist of all [that music]. I like getting into to doing my own … which is funny, because everybody's doing playlists and putting them on Spotify and stuff like that, and I do playlists and share them with my friends. Mike: She's got to hook you up with about a million more friends to share it with. [Laughter] Mike: Yeah, when we hit the playlist side of things, he’s ready. Billie: Yeah, and it’s all kinds of different stuff, whether it's like Joni Mitchell and Linda Ronstadt, to like ... Foghat and T-Rex. It’s fun to listen to. Especially back then, there was a certain amount of — people were uninhibited. If you listen to Marvin Gaye singing 'What’s Going On?,' there’s nothing self-conscious about songs like that and what was going on back then. I think nowadays, music is so much more visual or something. Some of the stuff from the past is just inspiring. J’net: And you have lots of influences, I can hear them in your music. There are little bits that sound like country and little bits that sound like different genres. Did you get that from your family, or was it all around you, or what? Billie: Well, it was all around me with my family — and I think when I was a kid I just always wanted to be the one to listen to something different. So, when kids were listening to Kool and the Gang’s 'Celebration,' I was listening to AC/DC and Van Halen, or trying to be the first in my high school to discover punk rock, and alternative stuff, too. Nobody in Rodeo had a clue who the Replacements and Hüsker Dü was. I was like the only punk kid in my high school. And John Swett [High School] was ... 400 people, 350 at the most. Mike: Is that what it was? I thought it was a little more than that. That’s still a lot of people, though, when you think about it. Billie: Yeah, there's 80 people in that graduating class. Mike: And then there was this one kid in that high school [who was punk]. Billie: And half of them actually graduated. [Laughs]"

This is the fourth and final installment of our interview with Green Day. In part three, we talked to the band about their past goals, and the musical roots of each of the guys. I have also included some things that were not part of the interview itself, or our recording. At the beginning of the transcription below, I knew our time was running out — and during the recording, we were packing up. I was throwing on my “Still Breathing” shirt, as I call it, for my photo with the band. But I just kept talking and asking questions the whole time to make the most of every second. "J’net: So, I have one more quick question, and this is just my own personal thing that I’ve always wondered — when Mike sang the second half of 'American Eulogy,' did you [Billie] write it with that in mind, did it just happen, I mean … was it something personal to Mike, because the way [Mike] sang it and kind of spit those lyrics out, it sounds like it’s very … something [deciding to stop rambling on with this never ending question and let someone answer] … Billie: I mean, I just wrote it and asked him if he wanted to sing it. [laughs] Mike: I think you need to sing to what the lyrics are calling for. I tend to sing ... like a little girl sometimes. [laughs] J’net: Not in THAT song. Mike: Yeah, but I was conscious that, 'This song isn't for singing like a little girl.' Or if it is, it's a little girl with attitude. Billie: If you think about 'Outsider' by the Ramones, and how DeeDee sang the bridge to it, it just kind of makes more sense. It just kind of comes from the band. And what else? 'I Was There' – Mike sang the bridge on that. J'net: Yeah. Well, you [Mike] sing that 'American Eulogy' like it was written just for you. Just made me wonder … Mike: [Hamming it up] Why, thank you! A friend of mine wrote that just for me! … 'Hey Billie, I got an idea! We can go ahead and take five.' J'net: So, I'm getting a sense that it's time for you [Tre] to have your pizza that you've never had before. Any last things you guys want to say to the readers of Green Day Authority? Mike: Just that we appreciate them and that they should be good to each other and look out for one another online and offline. But, we appreciate the hell out of them, cause that's our community. They're fuckin' rad. We'll see [them] on tour. Billie: I think for me as a musician, it's always important to be a fan first. Because I'm obviously a big fan of the people I like to listen to and stuff like that. So with that said, [we're] like-minded and kindred-spirits. Tre: In the words of the wild stallions, 'Be excellent to each other!'" Thus ended the interview proper, though there was more conversation, as I asked the guys to take a quick photo with me (the first time I've ever asked for a photo with any of them ... the wait was so worth it given how the photo turned out). Then, touring sound engineer and photographer Chris Dugan reminded me that I had a t-shirt to show the band. It was from Jack Yates, Omaha-based editor extraordinaire for GDA, who has been taking all my scribblings and making them look beautiful on the site. His vintage shirt was from Green Day's first tour — the band had screen printed it by hand back in the day. He thought they might like to see it, and maybe even sign it for him (which they graciously did). Tre sarcastically joked that it was really only six months old. Mike laughed, and said he still has the original screen print stencil for that shirt. While the guys were signing Jack's shirt, I was throwing on my "Still Breathing" shirt, which you can see in the photo. The guys loved, it which prompted me to tell them that it's from the Woody Guthrie Museum in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I'm from. Mike excitedly told me that his wife's family and Billie's whole family were also from Oklahoma. This prompted Billie to tell a story, which really delighted me. The backstory is that he began to tell this tale at the Tulsa Green Day show back in March, but didn't make it all the way to the brilliant ending. We'd talked about this during the car trip there, and Billie just spontaneously answered our question! "Billie: Yeah, my mom's from Sperry, Oklahoma. Oh, we went — this is a funny story. When we were there, I was trying to find where my mom's house was — it was like, I think, about 15 minutes outside of Tulsa. And we went into a high school, and all the people would talk about was like native burial grounds and stuff like that. So we're just looking for this one in particular. So we went into Sperry High School and talked to the administrators, and I come out and all of a sudden it was like, it clicked [snaps fingers], they were like, 'Oh my God, he's here!' and they run out and one goes, 'You're either … Bruno Mars … or the guy in Green Day!' [Laughter] Billie: 'Bruno! Bruno! Bruno Joe!' Tre: [Laughs] 'Bruno Joe.' Billie: And then they sent me all these hats, because they're the Pirates, so I got all these cool pirate hats." Now, as they were still signing Jack's shirt, and I was still "primping" for my first ever Green Day photo, we had this hilarious conversation: "J'net: Do y'all know about all the mis-heard lyrics in your songs? Billie: Mis-heard? Mike: Misinterpreted, you mean? J'net: No, like people hear them and they think you're saying something else! Tre: Oh, that's funny! J'net: Like, 'Gotta know the enemy … raw ham.' Billie: Raw ham? [Hilarity ensues] Tre: Raw ham. J'net: And, 'Somebody take my pants, I think they're falling off … into a state of regression.' Mike: [Singing] 'Somebody take my pants, I think they're falling off, into a state of regression.' [Laughing] Billie: That's amazing. That's a good one. J'net: And then, my son one day and said to me he hears, [singing ... YES, I sang in front of Green Day!] 'Dump truck! Color me stupid!' Billie: Oh, dump truck! [laughs] J'net: British people hear, 'I wore cologne, I wore cologne' [in 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams']. Billie: Oh, wow … J'net: And in 'Welcome to Paradise' — 'Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken gnomes.' Tre: Scary. Scary. [Laughs] Billie: Nice. I've heard that one before. I think I've seen a meme. J'net: I just wondered if … because when a new song comes out, before the lyrics are published, we're all trying to figure out, "What are they saying? What are they saying?" Billie: Next time we're just going to write them out different. They'll be like just totally different lyrics. Tre: We'll do fucked up lyrics! J'net: Oh yeah, right. That would be great. Tre: We'll get like six-year-olds to say what they think the lyrics are, and then we'll have that be the lyrics. J'net: That would be great! Or me, because my hearing is shot from so many Green Day shows!" This was where our recording ended. At some point during the discussion that continued un-recorded, I told the guys that this (the Omaha show) might be my last show for a while. I said, "A dear friend of mine has a ticket for me to the Rose Bowl show, but I don't know if I'll be able to afford to get there, so this could be it for a while." After that, we prepared to take the photo, which Chris Dugan (the band's sound guy and photographer) kindly offered to take for us — so it wasn't a selfie, after all! Mike suggested that I sit in the chair, and they'd all stand around me. Of course, I can't even express how sweet this was. Then, because I'd been talking to superfan Fran Green in line that day, I said, "Do you know that girl Fran with long brown hair who's always right in the corner of the barricade?" (I motioned with my hands to show where Fran usually stands). And here's how I remember that conversation going: "Billie: Oh, I know her, she's great! She always wants to get up and sing or something, but I really like her energy right there in the corner. Mike: Which one is she? Billie: She has a lip piercing. Mike: Oh yeah! [smiling] J'net: Well, today is her 50th show! Billie: Her 50th really? J'net: Yes, and she's travelling from the 1st through the 27th and not staying in any hotels — just sleeping on the street or in the car. Billie and Mike: WOW. Tre: Sounds like somebody needs a shower!" Finally, my time with Green Day was coming to an end. I thanked them all, and they walked out. Then, as I was about to leave the room, Tre came back with his wife Sara and introduced me to her. She is just as gorgeous and sweet as her online personality seems. We chatted for a few minutes. I told her we love her because of how happy she makes 'this guy' — I point at Tre. To say both their faces were beaming would be a terrible understatement. Just looking at how happy they are together made my heart melt. As they were leaving, Tre stuck his head back in the room and said, "See you at the Rose Bowl." So now, I guess I'll have to find a way to make it to the Rose Bowl. Hope to see you all there! After all this, I was walked out on to the arena floor and asked to choose my spot. I was just dumfounded with the entire barrier to choose from … don't we all wish that could somehow happen at every show?!?! Later, after everyone came in, I couldn't see Fran in her usual spot, and I was just so disappointed, because I thought … knowing the band, they would probably do something special for her if she'd been there. Well, Billie managed to find her on the catwalk, wished her happy 50th and then started singing "Happy Birthday" to her! Hahaha! Tre also gave her an autographed drum head the next night in St. Louis, and I see that she got on stage before her tour was over. The guys are just the sweetest and love their fans so much!

[mooifyourecows]

You aren’t obligated to answer this WHAT SO EVER but do you have any tips on writing dialogue??

of course my dude

first of all

do NOT make your characters talk like robots. noooobody is that articulate when they talk. everybody slurs words together and uses contractions. ya know how that one guy, Sheldon(?), from the Big Bang Theory speaks? don’t, i repeat, DON’T make your characters talk like that. i don’t care if they’re geniuses or geeky scientists with zero social skills. i don’t care if they are autistic or big ol classical literature nerds. don’t make your characters sound that insufferable i BEG OF YOU.

instead of something pretentious and old ass fashioned like this:

“I do not care what it is that you have come here to speak of, I am so very busy at the moment and I would like for you to leave at once.”

have your character say something that represents more of their personality and the mood of the situation, like this:

“Dude I don’t have time to listen to this crap. Get lost.”

Wow, same message, but much better, ammiright fellas?

“But Moo, it’s part of my character’s personality to talk super articulately!”

No it ain’t. “talking super articulately” isn’t a personality trait. it’s what aliens who are trying to blend in with humans do and literally everyone within ear shot is thinking “something ain’t right with those folks”.

There are ways to portray an eloquent character that don’t sound disjointed and stiff. Throw in a big word here and there (within reason). Make them say “could have”. Or “perhaps.” Yo, that shit eloquent af and not in a weird cringey “that is a being from mars in a human skin suit” sorta way.

I once saw some writing advice that said “don’t use too many filler words like like and well and just in your writing. it sounds good to you because you are personally used to it, but to others, it sounds strange.”

And while I agree with that advice to a certain extent... i don’t agree when it comes to dialogue. Those words belong in dialogue. they belong in inner monologue. Because we say them. A lot. Too much, probably. I say “like” so much i hate myself. And “well” and “just” and “ya know?” and “really” and “seriously” and “super”. Those are my words. You can’t have a conversation with me without hearing them a billion times. 

So yeah, toss those fuckers right on in your dialogue where you think someone would use them irl. 

BUT

don’t use the same ones for every person. I probably fail at this at times. people all don’t speak the same. just because I say those words a lot doesn’t mean that everyone says those words a lot. you probably have your own words that you sprinkle in too much. Maybe you stammer or use “uhm” or “uh” or “ah”. 

Pick some subtle little speech ticks and assign them to characters. have someone say “like” a lot and then make another one stagger their words and repeat themselves too much. Assign oral ticks to people that might represent a little of their personality or background.

Give your characters accents! got a character from the deep south? “y’all” it up, bro. Don’t get too excessive, of course, but pepper in some southern hints here and there to remind the readers that where they were born and raised had an effect on their speech patterns.

Let characters have favorite words or phrases. DON’T OVERDO IT. but hell yeah let ’em say something more than once. we all do it. it’s natural. it’s realistic.

DON’T. SAY. TOO. MUCH.

point me to someone who actually effectively says everything on their mind in real life conversation and I’ll show you someone who talk too got damn much.

WITHHOLD INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough. withhold information. Oh man, oh boy do you even realize how DELICIOUS it is when a character has something big on their mind that’s making them act strangely and someone asks them about it and they dance around it and deflect or just give a little laugh and say a little,

“... it’s nothing.”

???

that’s the good food. that’s good stuff. we love to see it. we HATE to see when a character is asked what’s wrong and they open the floodgates and tell their entire life story and a whole buttload of exposition that would have been so much better if revealed slowly, through subtlety.

if your character is someone that would cuss, then LET THEM CUSS. I understand why some writers may be reluctant to do this. Hey, sometimes things gotta be PG. but it’s not realistic my dude, my man, to have a foul mouthed type person never use their foul mouth.

and go nuts, okay, listen. be creative. it’s funnier to call someone a “crusty assed fucknut” than a “jackass.”

okay that’s science, don’t question it.

then there’s, ya know... punctuation.

Nobody says everything in a nice, evenly paced sentence all the time. sometimes emotions get in the way. sometimes they can’t figure out the right word.

interrupt sentences on occasion. If a character is trying to say something difficult, show that they are struggling to get through it. have them hesitate or backtrack. have them start to say it one way, but then decide to say it another way instead. 

Instead of:

“I don’t like how you told everyone my secret. I’m mad at you.”

Try something more like:

“I dunno. I’m a little bit... I just don’t understand why you told them that. I said it was a secret.”

We can feel from the second example that the person speaking is a little frustrated, trying to articulate their feelings without straight up stating them.

Take it a step further and add a little bit of body language to spice it up:

“I dunno. I’m a little bit...” His nose scrunched and he lowered his glare to his lap. “I just don’t understand why you told them that. I said it was a secret.”

Don’t give us a big block of text. cut it up. Throw in body language or a reaction from someone else. 

UNLESS... shoving a big block of text at us is important to how you want us to take in a scene. Wanna show just how much a character is rambling? yeah hell yeah word vomit all over us. We’re gonna think “got damn this person won’t shut up” and when that’s how you want us to feel, that’s GREAT.

Use sentence length to represent a feeling. Short sentences are awesome at conveying anger.

“Alright, I’ll do that as soon as I get home,” doesn’t have the same effect as “Fine. I will.”

Arguments! don’t make them “he said his piece and then she said her piece”. that’s not how arguments work. I mean... i wish. but in reality, arguments are messy and emotions get in the way and people interrupt and stammer and say dumb things and they start to yell or go silent or drop to a whisper.

Let them be messy.

and honestly the biggest bit of advice is to just... think about a realistic flow. say it out loud. does it actually sound like something a person would say, without a script? Humanize it. people aren’t always going to say exactly what you want them to say. AND they’re also not going to understand what the other person is saying at all times.

If your character says something that might be vague or confusing, don’t just let the other character understand. Make them ask. “what’s that supposed to mean?” or “huh?” that’s okay. that’s realistic. that’s natural. I say “what?” a thousand times a day. im bad at listening. and hearing. and understanding. you don’t need to trim the fat so that the reader only gets the important bits. where’s the fun in that? i want to read realistic conversation. 

i want to feel like these characters are real people having a real conversation.

i don’t want to be fed some glamorized idea of the perfect dialogue. that’s boring. so boring. people who write like that are boring. let’s all boo and hiss at them. 

boo

hiss

just kidding. take it back

all writers are valid

boys support boys

ANYWAY

uhhhh this is a huge giant mess and i’m too scared to read over it to make sure it doesn’t sound dumb so here you go! Moo’s super amazing advice that is set in stone and infallible and something you most definitely have to follow or ELSE.

just kidding again.

All advice i give is about personal preference. These are my personal methods of writing dialogue. Everyone’s methods are different and depend wholly on the story they want to tell and their super special writing voice!

If you like this advice, then by all means, take from it and try to sprinkle some of these elements into your own writing! 

If you DON’T like this advice, then youre wrong, then feel free to ignore it! There are no rules to writing and no matter what, you’re doing great! You’re always improving! And if you haven’t gotten something figured out just yet... you will!

I believe in you!

Good luck! 🖤

[thewebcomicsreview]

So I've been following this one guy who gives really good writing advice, but lately he's been: telling people it's OK to skip the Intermission in Homestuck; defending bad writing as a "structural issue" (those poor writers, it's not their fault they've structured their story / writing process in a bad way); priding himself on making a half-assed "unfinished-on-purpose" comic review. This person was my main source of writing advice, so I don't know where to turn to. Any recommendations?

The only other webcomic review guys I’m aware of are the Bad Webcomics Wiki, but if you think I’m too nice on writers, they might be up your speed anyway and oh my god they just posted a review of a SpiderForest comic. Guess it’s time for

The Webcomic Review Reviews Webcomic Reviews

So, this is a review of a SpiderForest comic called “The Guide to a Healthy Relationship” which is a comic about LGBT people, and it’s being reviewed by the Bad Webcomics Wiki, so obviously there’s going to be a whole bunch of slurs, so consider that a content warning and I’m putting the rest of this behind a ReadMore

This is going to be slightly disjointed because the BWW review is disjointed, but I’ll do my best

We’re already in some factual trouble right on line one, since TGtaHR is a traditional webcomic and not a long-scroll mobile-friendly webtoon, nor is it hosted on webtoons.com. Is this nitpicky? Maybe a little, but we’re off to a poor start here. 

This comic is just under 200 pages.

I feel like if you’re going to write a big thing attacking a webcomic’s story, you should try to have some kind of understanding of what that story is. I know what the story of Sinfest is, and Sinfest is a confusing nightmare.

Okay, so maybe the reason you think this story is bad is because it’s 2deep4u. 

So, in the space of about twenty pages, we learn that Apollo had a friend named Julian who killed himself, and then we cut ahead to Julian drinking on the job, going to a party, taking drunks, and waking up naked in the bathtub covered in beer bottles, and the living room is full of too-hot-for-tumblr passed-out drunks. The Bad Webcomics Wiki calls this “Softcore porn that is never brought up again”, because the Bad Webcomics Wiki is written by high school dropouts for an audience they presume has never read the comic proper. 

This debauchery is never brought up again because it’s not relevant to the plot, it’s relevant to the character. Apollo is fucked up because his friend killed himself when he was a teenager, and he deals with being fucked up by retreating into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That’s what’s being established here. Also being established if you’re paying attention: Apollo has scars on his chest. 

In chapter 1, Apollo goes to a party, the entirety of which is dedicated to him walking around naked, and we get a bunch of obviously sexual shots of his dick, clearly catering to the author's gay fetish. His boss goes to his place to check on him, and it is revealed he is a hoarder. This never comes up again.  

1. In this scene, there are two panels where you can see Apollo’s penis, one panel where you can see someone’s vomit-covered dick, and two panels where you can see a woman’s breasts. None of these panels of flacid dicks or sagging boobs are sexual, though. The dicks are unpowered, it doesn’t make a bit of difference guys, the balls are inert. 

2. What the fuck is a “gay fetish” and how it different from just “being gay”.

3. I don’t know the author, even though we’re both in SpiderForest, so I don’t know where Dani The Carutor lies in the whole gender spectrum thingamabob, but I will note that “Dani” is usually short for Danielle. So maybe it’s not a safe assumption that the author is a man? I dunno. That’s just me, guessing people’s genders by screen name is hard, so I try not to lest I embarrass myself.

4.So, when you say Apollo is a “hoarder”, you link to a page showing his room is disgusting and covered in garbage

Is your takeaway from these panels....that Apollo is some kind of fanatic garbage collector? That his room is full of garbage because he actively works at having as much garbage as possible because he wants it? 

There are a couple pages explaining Apollo's purple special snowflake eyes with some snowflake "disability".

Apollo has Ocular Albinism, which is a real condition that really exists, and really does give you purple eyes. It also gives you major vision problems, which are the context in which it gets brought up, because Apollo needs help crossing the road because he can’t see well enough in the light. So I don’t know what the scare quotes around “disability” are for. He can’t see. You could, if you were so inclined, connect this plot point with the way the chapter titles are named after mental conditions, and start to formulate some coherent critique with the seemingly cavalier way this comic uses disability, but that would require thought. It might even require research into difficult topics, because you’d ideally not want to make a fool of yourself talking about things you didn’t understand well enough to talk competently about. 

Chapter 2 is the most pointless, as it is basically there to confirm what we already know so the author can insert a cringy buzzword (see image below)

Okay, so a couple of things

1. In what fucking universe is “tranny” an SJW buzzword? What the fuck are you even talking about? 

2. Having the protagonist of your comic say someone is “smart, for a tranny” is like the least SJW thing you could possibly do.

3. Perhaps “Apollo is asking someone for help but casually insults her causing her to leave” is some kind of “character” moment? The author of this review is so /pol/-poisoned that they have no ability to understand “context” or “characterization” or basically any thing that exists. 

4.Your list of the comic’s characters includes this bon mot: 

So what the fuck? That’s so stupid I’d think it was an intentionally hypocritical joke if I had any reason to believe you were capable of it.

Chapter 3 is dedicated to revealing the boyfriend shit

I should point out that Apollo and Julian being boyfriends is something the BWW invented, the comic itself clearly states they were “best friends”, not boy friends. Couple of dudes being prudes. 

Apollo believes that Julian faked his own death, which fucked up Apollo for years, and now that they’ve met each other Julian keeps ghosting him. Apollo’s motives for chasing Julian around are extremely clear. 

That’s a scene transition, bay-bee! 

Apollo finally gets ahold of Julian. Julian blows him off and Apollo gives up. There’s then a clear scene transition to Apollo, at a restaurant, talking about what we just saw. This is a perfectly clear scene transition, with a transitory panel and everything to indicate that this is the next day. It’s certainly more clear than Apollo waking up in jail in chapter 2 which you skipped over. Are you actually reading this comic at all? 

You are such a fucking moron, holy shit. 

Julian got beat up for being trans. It’s unclear if he’s actually trans or just a feminine-looking cis dude, but regardless it was bad enough to traumatize him and this all happened when he knew Apollo, who calls Julian his “best friend”, and says things like

There’s literally two dots here, and you’re unable to connect them. Galia even has the same hairstyle as Julian to make it visually obvious This Is What The Reference and you still missed it. 

Julian and Apollo walk around the woods in their underwear for no reason whatsoever. Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Hm. Why does Julian go outside at night? I wonder if that’s explained in the comic?

Oh, I see. He went outside to smoke. But why did Apollo go outside at night?

Oh, he was looking out the window and saw Julian mysteriously go off into the woods. I guess that’s explained, too. I guess you just missed those pages

Julian takes some drugs or something, and passes out?

Huh, I wonder why Julian was asleep

Oh, he has Insomnia, so he took something called Halcion. I wonder what that is.

Oh, it’s a prescription insomnia medication. And you shouldn’t take alcohol with it, wow Julian is dealing with a super pushy alcoholic I should file that information away for later, like how knowing Wellbutrin’s side effects in teenagers were critical to understand Drop Out. Luckily webcomics are comics, on the web, and I can look this up! 

He is then woken up by the fatty side character punching him. Somehow, Julian destroyed the kitchen, even though he was passed out - this is never explained, and makes no fucking sense

Sigh.

So, here are some hints as to what happened.

1. 

Julian has bruises all over his body, which you have consistently failed to notice.

2. 

Daniel, Julian’s friendly boyfriend, has like no negative reaction whatsoever to Brandon, some random dude, punching Julian in the fucking face

He even takes Brandon’s side and basically implants the idea that Julian did it into Julian’s head, and that last panel is rather threatening. 

Julian took insomnia medicine, and fell asleep, and then got wrongfully blamed for destroying the kitchen by Daniel, who know’s that Julian was passed out and couldn’t have done it. Who actually did destroy the kitchen is a mystery, but Daniel is the most likely culprit. 

it transitions into this trippy bullshit with blood, and body horror, and Julian's hair is suddenly short

It’s short because it’s a flashback to when he was a teenager, and he had short hair when he was a teenager so that literate people are able to understand this without getting confuzzled. 

Apollo turning into Daniel in this trippy dream sequence is also pretty relevant! 

Also, we have random nudity and sexualization of this sick person.

No, we have reveals that he’s in worse physical shape than we thought.

By the way, in your character list, you describe Daniel as

Daniel (Side Character): He may as well be a wall. This guy has no personality whatsoever. No quirks, no interests, no purpose outside of causing superficial melodrama.

If you’ve made it all the way to this point and not picked up on Daniel being an abusive boyfriend and the primary antagonist of the story, you may be beyond hope.

The rest of the chapter is Julian being angsty, and SO ILL while everyone talks about how weird he is

Again, that’s very clearly and obviously not actually what’s happening in the story.

What’s happening isn’t “Julian is sick lol”, it’s “Daniel is working to turn everyone against Julian”. That’s why he destroyed the kitchen and blamed Julian for it; to ensure that the other boys all thought Julian was a nutjob and thus keep them from reaching out to Julian and providing Julian with a guide to a healthy relationship instead of the abusive one he’s currently in. Your inability to read even slightly between the lines isn’t just distressing in terms of your inability to think critically about stories, it’s maybe worrisome re your ability to think about the real world, too. How are you this dense? It’s like watching Star Wars and not picking up that the empire and the rebellion don’t like each other. No wonder you’re confused! 

Chapter 5 is still in the works. It jumps the shark right away with Apollo getting drunk and sleeping with Julian's boyfriend. The author makes Apollo the guilty party and not the boyfriend

The comic is fairly clear that Daniel is the bad guy

This webtoon is so convoluted there is no saving it at this point. Each chapter is titled after some mental illness such as 'Monophobia', 'Anxiety', 'Psychosis'. You think they would have some thematic meaning with each chapter being about one of those things. Nope, they're just titled like that to show how EDGY this webtoon is! You can taste the cringe. Julian's mental shit has no rhyme or reason - he will act sick when the plot calls for it, and if it has anything to do with the chapter's title, it is also crazy inaccurate.

The author of this review somehow managed to read the entirety of The Guide to a Healthy Relationship without picking up that Daniel was an abuser. The comic thus seems convoluted to him because he thinks all the things happening are random events without rhyme or reason because he has completely failed to notice the whole plot, which is not subtle. Just....fucking staggering incompetence, as a critic.

Guess you’re stuck with me, anon.

[lunchador]

Don't mind me but I'm rambling. I'm gonna yell about this here cuz it is my fandom blog and that's what it's for.

Man, The Boys is the perfect example of seeing a comic, seeing the potential, and gutting it for something better. I used to be a fan of Garth Ennis, I used to say he was the kind of writer that could balance edgy in a fun way that wasn't too much, but after revisiting his work I'm like....very unimpressed. And I feel as he keeps releasing series they keep getting worse 😬 I can't say this on FB because some of my male friends hold it in high regards(lots of them read it as angry edgy teens) but Preacher? Kinda a super shit comic. I genuinely think the show was attempting something better by polishing up the core concept (also the casting? Chefs kiss). I liked The Boys. I own The Boys. But the show is a fantastic example of how a comic adaptation does not need to be faithful. I think they made the characters a lot more engaging, they kept the graphic violence but I'm not rolling my eyes at it, and made the overall plot more of an arc versus the previous baddie hero of the week style that made it feel disjointed. And it's nice not to be able to expect what is going to happen next, not like how some shows throw it in a new direction solely to fuck with you versus genuinely interesting. They still sprinkle tons of comic stuff nicely in the show (my friend and I screamed at love sausage). I think the timing of the show is excellent in both that there is a corporate superhero burnout with so many movies and shows being churned out (often playing it too safe where money > interesting) and also reflecting irl events in an eerie but clever way. The whole comic and show is assholes, and I'm thrilled to love to hate them. I couldn't even do much of a reread because it's just not that good to me anymore. Absolutely crazy that Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg read those two comics by Ennis and were like yeah, let's do this.

I feel the same way about Mark Millar though. I cannot stand his comics, I feel like he's pretty good with coming up with a concept but someone always executes it better on his behalf. Kingsman? Kick ass? Wanted? All superior to the comics. I think red son and jupiter's legacy are ones I did like, but I am very interested to see how netflix (?) Does jupiter's legacy in the wake of the boys. Not quite the same, but an edgy superhero series I highly expect people to make a comparison. It's about children of superheros that are struggling to live in their shadows. Drugs, sex, violence, drama.

On the other hand, I am screaming about the Invincible adaptation. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. Invincible is in my top favorite comics, it got me INTO comics, and I always thought it was vastly superior to Kirkmans famous work Walking Dead. This I do hope sticks close to the comics (though maybe slightly better writing for women characters haha). I already know exactly what they're doing for the first arc and I really really hope we can get further than that because the series gets so fucking WILD. Insane all of the merch and now a show we are getting after the series ends. It's also super long for a western comic series at like 26 trades I think. I hope the show is a success for multiple reasons.

With the old guards success, I hope amazon finally does something with the rights they bought to Lazarus a few years ago. Greg Rucka is truly one of the best comic writers out there and that series is perfect for tv. Which reminds me I need to watch stumptown cuz I just bought the comic to reread and it's so good!!!!

And y the last man finally has its feet on the ground after being in development hell for like 10 years. Brian k vaughn writes the most human characters out there. And also paper girls is gonna be a series!!!! Fucking hell yeah!!! Hopefully it catches people attention as stranger things did. It's gonna be fun. And I hope saga never gets adapted. I truly think nothing will be able to capture it. Leave it as is.

And I'm still sad Chew ended up falling into development hell. Originally showtime wanted to use to to replace Dexter as that ended as their new bloody crime show, then it fell to an animated series which is better imo to pair with how weird it is and showcase the art style but I think the last I heard of it it was pretty much not happening. Especially since iZombie got surprising amount of traction and I guess they expected it to be too similar.

I'm also still bitter about Deadly Class's cancellation. I had a lot of potential. Great cast, good cinematography. It's such a fun tragic comic.

Locke&key was alright, it's such a good horror comic but I wouldn't be able to tell you what would have made the show better. Something didn't quite click for me.

I'm kinda really burnt out on marvel/dc. I don't think either is impressing me lately besides scattered things. I don't think I'm excited for any of the disney+ shows besides falcon+winter soldier and even then expectations are tentatively low. Maybe wandavision? I didn't give a shit about them in the movies but it's heavily based on a run of comics I did enjoy so I'm wary. I know only care about Hawkeye for Kate and she-hulk for the actress. Though I've been having a surprising amount of fun watching Doom Patrol and I enjoyed swamp thing. It's weird. It embraces that weird. There's something I feel like Umbrella Academy is missing it could learn from doom Patrol. Like ua still feels like it played it a bit safe. Idk. Haven't finished it because I'm not as motivated to.

And Faith?? Is gonna get a movie??? A plus size hero??? AHHHH. I have my first issue signed by the author I met at comic con a few years ago.

And watchmen of course.

And outcast, and happy, and powers! And I kill giants was turned into such a good movie!!! So many image comics!!

I just read nailbiter is gonna be a series so that's gonna be bloody and violent and full of serial killers lmao. The ending of that comic got a little ??? For me but I own the whole series so i guess that says something.

What a time to be a comics fan!!! We are so fucking spoiled lmao and there's still sooo many untapped series. I think Criminal would make a fantastic live action drama show. Who does like Intricate crimes and heists and overlapping stories And wic+div would make a stellar show especially if they really had fun with the music. And so many comics I like would make amazing animated series like pretty deadly, or chew, rocket girl. Haunt is another Kirkmans series that has potential to be a fun gritty superhero violent adaptation. Except the ectoplasma attacks haunt has looks like violent jizz sometimes. Idk. Like, URGHHHHHHH. Gimme gimme gimme more comic stuff.

And there's so many good things I'm not even aware it was a comic initially.

And there's so many things I hear good things I have yet to touch like black lightning, runaways ( I love the comics!!, Cloak and dagger (also great comics )

Old comic shit is good too. I've been rewatching the Spawn series. Adult animated superhero stuff is seriously underrated. The tank girl movie is FUN. ROCKETEEEEER!!!!! Disney was supposed to do a remake with a black girl. What happened to that?

I dislike all the cw shows though lmao too cheesy. Also why I can't get into agents of shield though I tried for Robbie.

So many THINGS

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 15

death awaits!

oh god the cover. I aint ready 

the cover of overlords open mouth w/rodimus floating inside or w/e,,,,the overlord mouth fixation continues i see

and of COURSE its by nick roche. of course

oh god the tension and dread in the first page, as we get overlords sinister promise to murder everyone, starting with rewind, and then seeing chromedome rush over to open the door, and knowing that 30 minutes have passed already...

that full page spread of everyone vs overlord is amazing

also I always thought that ambulon was trying to kick overlord but now that I look closer he’s actually jumping away from overlord, having just crashed one of those hover...thingys....into him...which is honestly cool as hell. also I'm never over the fact that ambulon kinda looks like he’s smiling here, just having a grand ole time as overlord tries his best to murder everyone

and chromedome just seeing this and saying ‘rewind?’ is fucking killing me thanks

PIPES NO DONT DO THIS. YOURE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND. PLEASE don't talk about how much fun you're having on your wacky space adventure oh god, that’s just asking to be murdered,

GOD AND THERE HE GOES, DRIVING TO HIS DOOM. PIPES NO

AUGHHHHHHHHHH AND THERES OVERLORD WITH HIS GIANT FOOT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIIIIIPES ;_; 

his messed up goodbye thoughts are brutal...plus the final shot of him laying all busted up....god :( 

that guy seriously had some awful luck this trip. rip lil guy

BUT he sounded the alarm!!! so good for him!! that's a pretty amazing final act right there

oh my god I forgot abt this scene where rewind is like ‘so brainstorm why is my husband saying your name in his sleep :))))’ and brainstorm is like ‘haha idk its certainly not because we’re working on a secret project together, so jot that down!’ lmao brainstorm....

also dw rewind brainstorm is not fucking ur husband, just look at his evidentially extensive collection of perceptor-style microscopes...my man is microscopesexual 

I forgot abt the metabomb omfg

‘some of my favorite words are monosyllabic’ rodimus ily, himbo of my heart,

fort max :( rung :( 

oughhghghg I forgot abt the scene of tailgate making cyclonus a new horn ;_; and then cyclonus materializes menacingly bc tg dared to volunteer their room for movie night hvbfshdjkfbaskj cyclonus anti-social icon

AUGHHHH GOD THE PANEL OF RATCHET TALKING ON THE COMMS AND OVERLORD IS JUST, RIGHT BEHIND HIM, WITH HIS BIG STUPID LIPS, OH MY GOD

what the fuck, is drift a flying car??? hello??? what the hell????

seriously he’s got like, rockets and shit, what the fuck

anyways, the entire exchange b/w ratchet and drift here kills me, for multiple reasons.... ‘my faith and my sword’ lmao love it. and then ratchet refusing to leave drift and calling him his friend ;_; aughhh

rodimus w/the squad like ‘lets go gays!!!’ 

also I guess cosmos WAS on the lost light lol, totally didn't remember that, I'm guessing he left at some point to go be in the other series lmao 

I'm sorry but ‘amazing. you speak entirely in name’ is so fucking funny, but also like stfu overlord you're not allowed to be funny

MAGNUSSSSSSSS

now I'm confusing myself lmao, rodimus DID know abt overlord, didn't he??? wasn't that the whole thing???? I don't remember if he was involved w/the whole mnemosurgery plan but he at least knew that overlord was there...but we haven't been told that in-story yet so now I'm questioning that lmao

oh god I forgot that overlord almost kills magnus, jeeeeesus. good thing he’s a russian nesting doll otherwise he probably would've died fr 

also damn that's gotta be scary for everyone else, bc magnus is The Big Guy, and a renown fighter...plus drift got all fucked up...yall are in for a bad time 

tailgate gettin his panic on I see

swerve w/the meta narration lmao 

cyclonus ily sm.......

rodimus charging at overlord....ohhh my boy not your best idea

cd and rewind both saying ‘I thought you were dead!’ HHHHHHHH I'm destroyed fuck it all

rodimus (inadvertently) saving the day by saying ‘til all are one’...iconic!!

FORT MAX IS HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drift just casually chillin w/no legs

chromedome going into extreme detail about all the mnemosurgery he’s been doing on overlord for WEEKS while rewind is Right There....my dude.

this issue has a LOT of completely white backgrounds but I cant even rlly blame milne bc this seems like more drawing work than usual

oh god cd don't say ‘we’ll finish this conversation later’ at a time like this, that’s never a good idea,

rewind no don't do it :( :( :( 

that panel of cd’s arm getting cut off...AUGHHH

GODDDDDDD IM FUCKING CRYING. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH I.....

so incredibly fucked that cd does what’s best for rewind by blowing the pod up....hhhhh god 

and then that last panel of cd laying on the ground....fucking destroy me!!!!!!!!

also I love that at the beginning of the issue we see whirl with the missile launcher thing, and that’s what cd uses at the end here....good bookends. jro is really great about putting stuff in the story that just seems like innocuous filler/fun character building but turns out to ALSO be plot relevant later

HOLY SHIT I forgot about the cast page with the big red X’s thru the dead people’s profiles....jesus christ 

AUGH this issue was a rollercoaster, phew...and the emotionally devastating conclusion to this arc is still yet to come! 

I will say that it’s super interesting looking back on this, in the sense that rewind & chromedome are introduced as the first ever gay tf couple, and a few issues after we get told this explicitly, rewind is killed. this doesn't really end up being an issue representation-wise bc literally everyone is gay and there are a bunch of other significant gay characters/relationships later on, AND rewind comes back later 

but still! it’s interesting to think about how, at the time this came out, the phrase/concept ‘bury your gays’ wasn't really something that was talked about a lot (or like, it was, but not as often as nowadays, and not really under the term ‘bury your gays’ iirc), but at the time of publication this would have fallen under that trope (though rewind coming back later negates it imo). I think it would've been tough for this story to come out nowadays due to the backlash that would've occurred from rewind’s initial death (it also makes me wonder if there was any backlash when this DID come out) 

to be clear, this isn't a writing criticism - in fact, the reason this is able to work at all is because of the crazy amount of representation mtmte has. it’s like, youre able to kill off gay characters without it being ‘bury your gays’ if literally all your characters are gay by default, and there are a bunch of significant gay relationships happening - technically speaking, any death in mtmte is bury your gays lmao 

this is a completely disjointed rant but my point is like, if this issue came out in 2020 people would probably be pretty put off by rewind dying (understandably), but in the context of the series as a whole I don't consider this to be bad writing/bad representation/bury your gays 

and like, WERE people really mad about this in 2013? I am curious now, bc I would definitely feel kinda betrayed if I didn't know all the stuff that happens later 

but its pretty nice, because now I'm free to enjoy the writing and be emotionally devastated by rewinds death in a normal way, and not a ‘I'm angry at the writers for killing off one of the only gay characters’ kinda way

anyways I'm tired as hell so I'm going to bed, ill continue the emotional devastation later, phew