#THIS WAS RUSHED BUT IT WAS IN MY DRAFTS FOR A WHILE.

[goldfades]

i don't believe in god, but i believe that you're my savior; my mom says that she's worried, but i'm covered in this favor; and when we're getting dirty, i forget all that is wrong───PAIGE BUECKERS

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 4k

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | she was the kind of girl who lit up rooms and wrecked worlds in the same breath—a gravity too intense to resist. you’d sworn off falling, but the first time she laughed, smoke curling from her lips like an invitation to a wildfire, you were already in freefall. between stolen touches and reckless nights, you wonder if paige is your salvation or your undoing—or maybe a bit of both.

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | whoo, where do i begin? very angsty (but with a happy ending!), A LOT OF religious trauma, biblical allusions, descriptions of internalized homophobia, um... idk what else?

⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | okay i wanna preface this by saying... this is NOT a realistic reflection of paige because i know she is religious (i am too) but for the sake of this fic, it's just not a direct correlation. ANYWAY, i got this fic request a couple hours ago and this has been in my drafts for a while, and it's for sailor song so i decided just to mix the two. but fair warning; this is VERY self-indulgent, like super... but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless!

It started with her laugh.

Low, sharp, intoxicating—like she knew something you didn’t, and the knowing was half the fun. The sound carried through the room, brushing against your skin, leaving a warmth behind that didn’t quite fade.

You hadn’t meant to look. It was a casual glance, a passive observation of the crowd gathered in the dim light of some off-campus house party. But there she was, Paige, head tilted back, blonde hair loose and gleaming like spun gold in the chaos of flashing lights. Beautiful didn’t quite cover it. She was an image that felt ripped straight from a psalm—crafted by hands too divine to belong to this earth.

You told yourself to look away. But it was like trying to pull your gaze from the altar during a prayer; you knew better, but you stayed. Her presence burned, the kind of flame you’d always been taught to fear. And yet, the yearning rose in you like a hymn.

She held a vape pen in one hand, her other resting lazily against the kitchen counter. When she brought it to her lips and exhaled, the plume of smoke rose like incense, curling toward the low ceiling. It wasn’t just a casual gesture—it was deliberate, a communion, and you felt the weight of her gaze as she caught you staring. Her eyes—blue like stained glass on a Sunday morning—locked with yours, and in that instant, you swore she saw straight through you. Every doubt. Every prayer you’d whispered to keep yourself in line.

Your chest tightened. It felt less like a chance meeting and more like a test. A temptation. You wanted to pass. You wanted to fail.

Her smirk formed slowly, a deliberate curve of her lips that made your breath catch. She waved the pen in a lazy arc, motioning you over. Something inside you—rebellion, recklessness, or maybe just exhaustion—told you to move. So you did.

Every step toward her felt like crossing a line you’d drawn for yourself long ago. The room blurred, fading into irrelevance as you neared. She was all you could see, every detail sharper and brighter than it had any right to be. Her hoodie hung loose on her frame, the strings unevenly tugged. Her nails, painted the softest blush, tapped rhythmically against the counter.

“You always stare like that?” she asked, voice low but cutting through the din around you. Her tone was casual, but her eyes… they were anything but. They pinned you in place, unrelenting.

Heat rushed to your cheeks, and you fumbled for an answer. “No. I mean—sorry, I wasn’t—”

“Relax.” She leaned in, close enough that you could smell the faint mix of mint and something sweeter. “I don’t bite.” A pause, her grin widening. “Not unless you want me to.”

Your laugh came out shaky, a poor attempt at deflecting the rising tension in your chest. “Do you always talk like this?”

“Only when I’m interested.” The words landed heavy, like a confession in a darkened booth. Paige tilted her head, studying you. “What’s your name?”

You told her, and the way she repeated it back made it sound different—softer, like she was testing the weight of it in her mouth. She offered her hand, the gesture disarmingly formal. When your fingers touched, the spark was immediate, electric. You wondered if she felt it too.

“Nice to meet you,” she said, her grip firm but unhurried, like she had all the time in the world to unravel you.

You didn’t have all the time in the world. That was the problem. Years of sermons and Bible studies echoed in your mind like a chorus of warnings. Narrow is the road, straight is the gate, and you were barreling down the wide, crooked path without a second thought.

“So,” Paige said, pulling you back to the present, “you drink, or are you just here for the vibes?”

“I don’t drink.” The answer came automatic, instinctive, a remnant of the rules you hadn’t yet shaken off. Paige arched an eyebrow, intrigued but not mocking.

“Interesting.” She leaned closer, her voice dropping. “Guess I’ll have to figure out what your vice is.”

The air between you felt charged, heavy with something unspoken. You tried to speak, to say anything that would keep you grounded, but nothing came. All you could do was stand there, caught in the pull of her presence.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing her vape from the counter and motioning for you to follow her. “Let’s get out of here. It’s too loud.”

You hesitated, the weight of invisible judgment pressing against you. But then she smiled—soft, earnest, utterly disarming—and the resistance crumbled. It felt wrong, undeniably so. But it also felt like freedom.

So you followed.

The night air hit you like a baptism, cool and sobering after the crowded haze of the party. Paige walked ahead of you, her hands shoved into her hoodie pockets, her steps unhurried. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure you were still there, flashing you a smile that sent a shiver racing down your spine.

You kept a few paces behind, your mind a storm of contradictions. Everything about this felt dangerous, like stepping into a story you’d been warned against since you were a child. But there was something magnetic about her, something that made you ignore the small, insistent voice in the back of your head telling you to turn back. She moved like she owned the night, and for a moment, you wondered if maybe she did.

“Where are we going?” you asked, your voice a little too high, a little too thin.

“Someplace quiet,” she said, not turning around. “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.”

“That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.”

She laughed, and it was soft this time, less sharp-edged than before. “Fair point. But I think you’re safe with me. Trust me?”

You didn’t answer, but the fact that you kept walking was its own reply. Paige led you down a winding street lined with trees, the leaves whispering in the breeze like they were in on some divine secret. You felt like a lamb being led away from the flock, the shepherd nowhere in sight. But instead of fear, all you felt was the thrill of it—the breaking of the rules, the stepping out of bounds.

Eventually, she stopped in front of a small park, deserted except for a few streetlights casting pale pools of light over the benches. She sat on one of them, her legs sprawled out casually, and gestured for you to join her.

You hesitated for a fraction of a second before sitting, careful to leave a polite amount of space between you. Paige noticed and smirked, shifting slightly so your knees almost touched. The proximity made your pulse quicken.

“Relax,” she said, pulling the vape pen out of her pocket and twirling it between her fingers. “I don’t bite, remember?”

You tried to smile, but it felt stiff, unnatural. “Not unless I want you to, right?”

Paige’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Exactly. You’re catching on.” She brought the vape to her lips, taking a long drag before exhaling. The smoke curled lazily in the air, illuminated by the glow of the streetlight. She tilted her head, studying you. “So, what’s your deal?”

“My deal?”

“Yeah. You’re giving off… I don’t know. Saintly vibes.” Her tone was teasing, but there was genuine curiosity in her eyes. “Like you stepped out of some Catholic school choir.”

You stiffened, the words hitting closer to home than she could’ve known. “I… grew up religious.”

Paige raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Religious, huh? Like, church every Sunday, Bible verses on the fridge, all that?”

You nodded, a tightness creeping into your chest. “Pretty much.”

She leaned back, her expression unreadable. “And now?”

You hesitated. It wasn’t a question you liked answering, mostly because you didn’t know the answer yourself. “Now… I don’t know. I guess I’m figuring it out.”

Paige nodded slowly, her gaze softening. “That’s fair. Takes time to unlearn all that, right?”

The word unlearn felt heavy, like it carried a weight you weren’t ready to unpack. You looked down at your hands, suddenly unsure of what to do with them. “Something like that.”

For a moment, the only sound was the rustling of leaves and the distant hum of traffic. Then Paige spoke, her voice quieter this time. “You know, I used to go to church too.”

Your head snapped up, surprise flickering across your face. “You did?”

She nodded, exhaling another plume of smoke. “Yeah. My grandma made me go. Every Sunday, no exceptions. I hated it back then. All the rules, all the guilt… it was suffocating.” She paused, a wistful smile tugging at her lips. “But now, I don’t know. Sometimes I miss it.”

“Miss it?” The idea seemed foreign, almost impossible. “Why?”

Paige shrugged. “I guess… it was nice, believing in something bigger than yourself. Feeling like someone up there gave a damn about you.” She looked at you, her eyes searching. “You ever feel like that?”

You wanted to say no, wanted to deny it outright. But the truth was, you had felt that once. Before the doubts, before the questions, before the endless weight of trying to reconcile who you were with who you were supposed to be. You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. “I don’t know.”

Paige nodded, as if she understood. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty damn interesting. Religious trauma and all.” She grinned, her teasing tone returning. “Maybe I’ll save you.”

The words hung in the air, light and joking, but they hit you harder than you cared to admit. You looked at her, the girl who seemed to embody everything you’d been taught to fear, and wondered if maybe, just maybe, she was right.

And that’s how this whole thing began—the beginning of the end.

It wasn’t a relationship, not exactly. It wasn’t even a proper friendship. You weren’t sure what to call it. Some blurry, undefined space where your worlds collided—recklessly, beautifully, disastrously. Paige would text you late at night, a simple you up? and before you even had time to think, you’d find yourself in her orbit again. Her dorm, a parked car, that same park bench. The locations changed, but the pattern didn’t.

She kissed like she had something to prove, like she knew exactly what you wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it. And God, did you let her take it. Every time. Every brush of her lips, every tug at the edges of your carefully constructed world, it left you breathless. Empty. Full. You couldn’t tell anymore.

You told yourself it was just physical—nothing more than a release. But that was a lie, and you both knew it. Especially when she’d pull away and rest her forehead against yours, her breath warm against your cheek, her voice soft in the stillness.

“You okay?” she’d ask, her tone full of something that felt too much like care.

You’d nod, swallowing down the lump in your throat. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Fine. That was another lie. You weren’t fine. You were far from it. Every time you left her, slipping back into the quiet safety of your own bed, you could feel the guilt clawing at your chest like a living thing. It whispered in your ear, cruel and relentless, reminding you of every rule you were breaking, every promise you were shattering.

But the worst part? You reveled in it. There was a twisted kind of freedom in the guilt, like stepping into a storm and letting it drench you. It was messy and terrifying and so far removed from the pristine, polished version of yourself you’d been raised to be. With Paige, you weren’t the good girl anymore. You weren’t the dutiful daughter or the pious believer. You were raw, unfiltered, unapologetically human. And you hated how much you loved it.

┈┈┈

One night, after another one of those late-night texts, you found yourself sprawled on Paige’s bed, your head resting against her chest as her fingers traced lazy patterns on your arm. The room smelled faintly of her lavender laundry detergent and the minty vape she always carried. It should’ve been calming, but it wasn’t. Not tonight.

“You’re quiet,” she said, her voice cutting through the silence. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You hesitated, biting the inside of your cheek. “Nothing. Just tired.”

“Liar.” Her fingers paused, and she tilted her head to look at you. “You’ve got that look again.”

“What look?”

“That I’m feeling guilty as hell but too stubborn to admit it look.”

Her words hit too close to home, and you shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She sighed, her hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture was too tender, too intimate. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

You closed your eyes, the weight of her gaze almost too much to bear. “I don’t think you’d understand.”

“Try me.”

The room felt heavy, the air thick with unspoken words. You didn’t want to say it, but the truth was clawing its way out, demanding to be heard. “I just… I can’t stop feeling like this is wrong. Like I’m wrong.”

Paige stiffened beneath you, the softness in her expression giving way to something sharper. “Wrong? What does that even mean?”

You sat up, hugging your knees to your chest. “It means this. Us. Everything. It’s not… it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Says who?” Her voice was steady, but there was an edge to it now, a defensiveness you’d never heard before.

You looked at her, your throat tightening. “Everyone. My parents. My pastor. God.”

The word hung between you like a curse, and Paige let out a bitter laugh, sitting up as well. “God? Really? You think God’s sitting up there, keeping score of who you kiss?”

“It’s not just that,” you said, your voice cracking. “It’s everything. The lying, the sneaking around, the… the way I feel about you. It’s too much.”

Paige’s jaw tightened, but instead of the defensiveness you expected, she exhaled slowly, her shoulders relaxing. “Look, I might not be the most religious,” she began, her voice steady but gentle, “but I don’t think God’s sitting up there keeping some cosmic tally of who you kiss or how you feel. That’s not love. That’s control.”

Her words made you flinch, and she reached out, her hand brushing yours lightly before pulling back. “You grew up being told He’s this all-powerful, all-knowing being, right? So, if He’s that big, that perfect, then don’t you think He’s got room for you, too? For… this?” She gestured between the two of you, her voice softening. “I mean, if God is love, doesn’t that include the kind you feel for me?”

Your throat tightened, and you felt the tears coming before you could stop them. Paige saw, but she didn’t shy away. Instead, she leaned in, her voice dropping even lower, like she was sharing a secret just for you. “You’re not broken. You’re not wrong. And you sure as hell don’t need saving. Not from me. Not from anyone.”

For a fleeting moment, the knot in your chest loosened. Paige’s words were like a salve, soothing the ache you’d carried for so long. She made it sound so simple—love as something pure and whole, untainted by judgment or shame. You wanted to believe her. God, you wanted to.

And for a moment, you did. You let yourself lean into her warmth, let yourself imagine a version of this where you could breathe freely, unburdened by guilt. But it didn’t last. The weight of your upbringing—the sermons, the warnings, the whispered prayers for deliverance—settled back over you like a heavy cloak.

“Maybe you’re right,” you murmured, your voice trembling. “Maybe God doesn’t care. But I do.”

Paige frowned, her brows furrowing. “Why?”

“Because it’s not just about Him,” you said, your hands clutching your knees tightly. “It’s about everything. My parents. My community. The person I’ve spent my whole life trying to be.”

Her face softened, and she reached for your hand again, her grip firm and grounding. “But what about the person you are? The one sitting right here, right now?”

You couldn’t answer. Or maybe you didn’t want to. The truth felt too raw, too messy to say out loud.

Paige sighed, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Look, I get that this is complicated for you. But you deserve to love and be loved without feeling like you’re doing something wrong. And if no one’s ever told you that before, then I’m telling you now.”

Her words lingered, wrapping around you like a safety net. You wanted to fall into it, to let her catch you. But the ground beneath you still felt too shaky, too uncertain.

So you stayed quiet, letting her hold your hand while the silence stretched between you. It wasn’t resolution, but it was something. And for now, that was all you could handle.

Over the weeks that followed, something began to shift. Paige didn’t press you, didn’t demand answers you weren’t ready to give. Instead, she stayed patient, like she understood the weight you carried better than anyone ever had. She didn’t push you to talk about your guilt, but she made space for you when you did. Slowly, you began to let her in.

It started small. A whispered confession in the quiet of her dorm. A memory shared over takeout cartons and late-night reruns of shows you’d never admit to liking. The walls you’d spent years building began to crumble, piece by piece, under her steady gaze and unflinching kindness.

One night, as you lay sprawled on her couch, the conversation wandered back to the topic you’d both been skirting around for days.

“Do you ever think about leaving it all behind?” Paige asked, her voice soft but curious.

“Leaving what behind?”

She tilted her head toward you. “The guilt. The rules. The version of yourself you’re so scared to let go of.”

You didn’t answer right away. You traced the pattern of the couch cushion beneath your fingers, searching for words that wouldn’t come. Finally, you sighed. “It’s not that simple.”

“I know,” she said. “But maybe it doesn’t have to be as complicated as you think.”

The conversation stuck with you. Paige didn’t have all the answers, but she had a way of making you feel like you could find them yourself. She challenged you to ask questions you’d spent years avoiding, to rethink the parts of your faith that had been weaponized against you.

“I don’t think you have to throw it all away,” she said one night, her voice careful, deliberate. “Your faith, I mean. Maybe it just needs to look different. More… you. I never left that religious part of my life, I just... made it more me.”

You didn’t know what that meant yet, but the idea of redefining your faith—of making it your own—felt like a spark in the darkness.

For the first time in years, you began to feel something that resembled peace. There were moments, fleeting but powerful, where you allowed yourself to be happy without questioning if you deserved it. Moments when Paige’s laugh lit up a room, and you couldn’t help but laugh with her. Moments when she kissed you, and the world went quiet, and the only thing that mattered was her hands in your hair and her breath against your skin.

It wasn’t perfect. The guilt didn’t disappear overnight. It still crept in, especially when you were alone, whispering that you were wrong, broken, sinful. But it didn’t consume you the way it used to.

Because now, there was something stronger than the guilt. There was Paige. And there was you. The version of you she saw—the one who deserved love, who could rewrite the rules, who didn’t have to apologize for existing.

And maybe, just maybe, that version of you was worth believing in.

Falling in love with Paige wasn’t a dramatic, earth-shattering event. It wasn’t fireworks or grand declarations or sudden epiphanies. It was quieter than that, gentler. Like the tide rolling in, it happened so naturally, so effortlessly, that you didn’t even realize it was happening until you were already submerged.

It was in the small things—the way she’d instinctively hold your hand during a scary part of a movie, her thumb drawing lazy circles on your skin. The way she always knew when you needed space and when you needed her closer, as if she could read the thoughts you couldn’t put into words. The way she’d say your name, softly, like it was her favorite word.

You started noticing how her laugh could fill a room, making even the dullest moments feel alive. The way her eyes lit up when she talked about something she loved—basketball, her dog back home, or the time she convinced her whole team to wear matching Crocs. Paige had this way of making the ordinary extraordinary, and you couldn’t help but be drawn to her.

She never tried to fix you, never made you feel like you were some puzzle that needed solving. She just saw you—the real you, the messy, complicated, guilt-ridden you—and loved you anyway.

Paige’s love wasn’t flashy or conditional or based on expectations. It was steady, like a heartbeat, a rhythm you could count on even when everything else felt uncertain.

It wasn’t in the grand gestures but in the little moments. Like when she brought you coffee the exact way you liked it, without asking. Or when she remembered the names of the books you’d mentioned in passing and bought you one “just because.” It was in the way she’d text you random memes during the day, just to make you laugh, and the way she’d listen—really listen—when you spoke about your fears, your dreams, your past.

One night, you found yourself lying beside her, the room lit only by the faint glow of her bedside lamp. She was doodling something on your arm with her finger, her touch light and absentminded.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice soft.

“Drawing stars,” she said with a grin. “Because you’re my universe.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto your face. “That’s so cheesy.”

“Yeah, but it made you smile,” she shot back, her voice full of playful confidence.

And it did. She always did.

As you lay there, her head resting against your shoulder, you realized that this—she—made you feel complete in a way you hadn’t even known was possible. Paige loved you in a way that felt so simple, so natural, that it made you question everything you’d ever believed about love.

You used to think you were hard to love. That you came with too much baggage, too many rules, too much you. But with Paige, there was no effort, no hesitation. She loved you like it was breathing, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

And for the first time, you began to wonder if maybe she was right. If maybe love didn’t have to be hard or painful or earned. If maybe, just maybe, it could be as simple as this.

Over time, the love between you grew, not in explosive leaps but in quiet, steady steps. It wasn’t just the way she kissed you or held your hand. It was in the way she made you laugh until your sides hurt, the way she celebrated your victories, big or small, like they were her own. It was in the way she never gave up on you, even when you struggled to believe in yourself.

It wasn’t perfect. You weren’t perfect. But Paige made you feel like you didn’t have to be. She made you feel whole, even in the moments when you felt broken.

And as you fell deeper into this love—this easy, unconditional love—you began to realize something else. You weren’t just falling in love with her. You were starting to fall in love with yourself, too.

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↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[sweetkpopmusings]

miserable (you & me) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: i have had these blurbs in my drafts FOREVER. "miserable (you & me)" is a song i've had on repeat since it dropped. i'm also a sucker for angst, so please enjoy these self-indulgent posts (they all have happy endings, i promise!) there will be one for each member, so stay tuned <3 pics not mine~

content: angst, happy ending | wc: 1k | warnings: none really! | pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader | requests:open

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

난 가망이 없는 미래에 손을 뻗어 날 부었네 / “i stretched out my hand towards a hopeless future and poured myself out”

of course it would be raining right now. the day’s weather had been normal, a smattering of clouds above and an overcast glow hinting that the weather might take a turn for the worse, but nothing was set in stone. that turned out to be true in a more literal sense, hyunjin realized, while watching people mill about on the street below with freshly opened umbrellas. he scoffed. what did you think would happen? what did you think would change?

the answer was nothing. but i had no choice.

you and hyunjin met up for your usual weekend get-together, returning to a favorite drink spot of yours after a few weekends of schedules keeping you apart. he had missed you so dearly, something that became achingly clear when his whole body lit up from seeing your face peek through the entrance. you noticed the buzz in his body when he greeted you, a sweet laugh escaping your lips. hyunjin’s heart melted at the sound, collapsing even more into endearment when you said, “i missed you a ton, too.”

a moderate number of people took up the tables and seats in the building, so there was a comfortable hum of casual conversation surrounding you. hyunjin, as always, was so closely tuned into the sound of your voice, he would’ve believed you if you said the place was completely empty. it was clichéd for sure, but he was enraptured by every single thing you said. he loved listening to all your thoughts, stories, jokes, anecdotes; whatever you were willing to share with hyunjin, he’d accept with open and grateful hands. you both laughed as you finished telling him an embarrassing story your friend shared with you the other day, and, so you could take a sip of your drink, you asked hyunjin, “how are you?”

without skipping a beat, hyunjin answered, “i’ve liked you for the longest time.”

seeing as that was quite the unexpected answer to your question, you froze. your brain buffered, face showing barely any expression, except maybe shock or confusion. hyunjin, perhaps realizing what just occurred, reacted with wide eyes and frantic apologies. if his confession hadn’t stopped you so sharply in your tracks, the endless refrain of i’m so sorry! i don’t know why i did that. i’m so stupid! would have drowned out the words he spoke so naturally. you didn’t have time to process, but you tried to protest against hyunjin’s incessant apologies. this, it seemed, was fruitless.

hyunjin, with shaking legs and fumbling hands, gathered his things. 

“hyunjin, what’re you–”

“i should go, y/n,” he responded quickly, too quickly for him to mean it.

your heart broke at the way his voice cracked when he said your name, “no, just stay for a minute. please, i–”

his chest tightened when please fell from your lips, but he couldn’t bear the idea of you begging him to stay, only to tell him you didn’t feel the same. yes, it was immature, and, sure, it was probably selfish. yet all hyunjin could think to do was leave. so he did, his goodbye all staggered breaths and darting eyes.

you turned in your chair, barely catching his gaze as he raced to who knows where, “hyunjin?”

his eyes caught yours, and he ripped them away before he lost his foolish resolve. he hoped he offered you a soft smile, something to say i’m sorry for this. i just want you to be happy, and i guess this is me trying to make sure you stay that way. the adrenaline rush meant he couldn’t feel his face, though. he had no way of knowing what he looked like when he looked back at you. 

hyunjin’s whole trip home consisted of pleas for his legs to move faster. if his steps hit the ground hard enough, he could ignore all the scolding voices inside his head until he was safe in his room. if he were honest with himself, he was outrunning the look of shock on your face, and the way your voice fell when you asked him to stay. hyunjin, as he caught his breath in his room, realized that running away from you meant he ended up in front of his window, facing a future of heartbreak. a sardonic laugh broke free from his lips. maybe if you did it the right way, at the right moment, you’d be looking at them instead. maybe you’d be thinking of something other than angsty plotlines for the strangers passing by on the street below. 

“or maybe i could be hurt much worse,” he whispered to himself. 

that was the last sound that shared space with hyunjin in the room. he sat, mind racing and leg bouncing, completely silent. until someone knocked on the door.

hyunjin shuffled to the entryway, instinctively opening it at a familiar knock, only coming to when he saw you standing before him. of course, no matter how hard he tried, his body would always end up right in front of you.

ignoring the way his deflated figure twisted your chest up in all the worst ways, you chided, “you know it’s rude to confess to someone and leave immediately after, right? you didn’t give me a chance to respond.”

you huffed as you spoke. hyunjin couldn’t help the endeared smile that graced his face when he watched your frustrated, furrowed brow turn into a cute, unintentional pout. 

he thought, they are more precious to me than they’ll ever know, and he admitted, “you’re right. it was very rude of me. while i may not deserve to hear it after the way i acted, would you mind telling me what you were going to say?”

your shoulders relaxed as the familiar shine in hyunjin’s eyes returned. his beautiful smile came back too, as he watched your face light up with a reply he’d only ever dreamed of before.

“i like you too, hyunjin. i have for the longest time.”as though his hands weren’t shaking from anxiety a mere five minutes before this moment, hyunjin reached out to you, pulling you into his home and into his arms. when you accepted his invitation and melted into his embrace, hyunjin thought, i’ll pour my heart out to them again and again, if it means we’ll always end up right here, together.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[uncleasriel]

via @starletsoubrette

#rebloging this again cause I love this addition#Ann is a character that really resonates with me; seeing her character be completely thrown away by the plot in favour of “boobs” kills me#also THANK YOU I thought I was the only one who had an issue with her confidant being “Stop eating the things you like! Be prettier!”

I'm glad you like my ranting! I had a long and stories diatribe here that got eaten by my drafts, but the point I want to emphasize is how poorly I feel Persona 5 treats her, especially when the Kamoshida arc hits on such raw and powerful stuff and then completely fails to honor this as it moves on in the narrative.

I liked Ann at first. She was conflicted, and seemingly antagonistic, but as the truth of her situation became apparent it was hard not to worry about this kid. Her first introduction to Kamoshida's palace was one of true horror and her awakening Persona was such a punch-the-air moment (right up until she got flustered over being dressed scantily). But after that arc, it was as if the writers for the other scenarios were isolated from one another, and they (the writers, the characters, even Ann herself) forgot everything that happened in Kamoshida's palace.

I kinda dawdled on Ann's Confidant (petering out at around Rank 6) because I found the storyline just made her feel vapid. I lay this blame squarely at the feet of the writers - she's in a compelling series of situations, but it felt at times like they were a little contemptuous of (or at least befuddled by ) teen girls who wanted to work in the glamor industries.

The core narrative of Ann is interesting - she wants to have 'A Strong Heart', or (in non Translated Japanese Clunky Terms), to be someone with integrity and conviction. This is a fine starting place! Ann seemed fairly lost and passive before meeting Joker, and with the awakening of Carmen having her feeling like she didn't know how she wanted to exercise her power is a good starting place. I just wish the early explorations didn't leave her feeling vapid. "Hee hee! No more soda pops for me!" is a weak attempt at humor that belies some of the real ugilness that lies in the fashion and modelling industries. Remember, you're supposed to be critiquing unjust social systems, Persona 5 - not reinforcing them!

I think there's something about her arc that works though - Ann is indecisive about Modelling, and takes a lacksidaisical approach to it. If I were to retool it, I'd just make that the thrust. Bring in the conniving rival Mika earlier. Have Ann be more ambivalent about being in front of the camera, or being asked to wear certain outfits, or the like,and have her discuss this with Joker as specifically in relation to an anxiety that she only just realized came to pass with her being ogled by Kamoshida. Tie in the fears of objectification and being exploited early on, and contrast that waffling with Mika who is giving her unethical all to get ahead in this industry. This might be where I highlight Ann's parents and her natural beauty giving her a leg up and making her wonder if she's resting on her laurels

I think what I'd do differently is build sympathy with Mika earlier on, and have her run into Ann at hospital while Ann is visiting Shiho - Maki collapsed earlier and had to be rushed someplace, just as Ann gets a call for an emergency job to cover for her. Mika passed out due to some malnutrition, and Ann learns that she's doing this while pushing herself to succeed in this field , and Ann realizes that there's some Fell Goings On that are compelling Mika to put her health and life at risk. (Bonus points here if this doesn't make Mika or Ann like one another anymore than they do - but now the opportunity is there for Ann to realize she can Do Something)

Obviously, this is the part where we discover some evil producer is incentivizing the girls in his employ to to unhealthy things to meet his standards. Ann speaks up about this is rebuffed (perhaps even offered Mika's place instead, for extra juiciness), but not before getting a name - and, naturally, the Phantom Thieves get a name for a Mementos Request to advance Ann's Confidant.

What I want to see out of this is Ann developing a sense of justice about her actions and realizing that her Strong Heart is about being decisive in the face of adversity, even for people and situations she dislikes. Ann would choose integrity over easy advancement, and would rather be principled and walk a harder road than just coast OR let injustice go free.

Lady Virgilia mentioned in the cultural analysis of Ann that she reacts well to adversity as a means to spur herself onwards, and I think that realizing that is the crux to making her Confidant shine. Her's has always been the "exotic foreign beauty", and that made her shine when she could leverage that in the modeling industry (perhaps without her even realizing it), but the business with Kamoshida undercut that burgeoning confidence. The Joker/Ann Confidant arc would be about Ann remembering how she admired the self-confident and sexy thief character from her cartoons because she liked how she managed the contradictions of objectification and empowerment, and she now knows how to make them her own. (I wonder if some other famous media about sexualized thieves ever deals with this, hmmmmmm....)

I find Ann's Confidant as it is feels weak. She's not exactly an academically gifted character, and someone's talent is 'being pretty' feels like it's an excuse for the lamest "hubba hubba" bullshit this side of The Man Show. But focusing on Ann's sense of justice, willingness to endure rough circumstances, and realizing that what alienates her from her peers and made her a target is also something she can use to get others to pay attention to her to listen to problems that afflict others. She knows she can turns heads, and so she while those heads are tuned, she speaks in ways that compel others to listen.

It beats the shit out of skipping on parfaits so she doesn't get fat.

“Man I really don’t like Ann’s treatment in Persona 5. The game takes every opportunity to sexualize her and point to how uncomfortable she is about being sexualized, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially considering her status as a victim of CSA.”

“UMMM…. AKshually, Ann’s story is OBVIOUSLY about RECLAIMING HER SEXUALITY, which is why she’s shown as hating her outfit, and why she never is at any point happy to be sexualized, and by REDESIGNING HER OUTFIT to be less weird and sexual you are MISUNDERSTANDING HER ENTIRE CHARACTER. The adult male writers OBVIOUSLY were telling a compelling and groundbreaking story about this teenage girl becoming a sex symbol.”

[recreationalfanfics]

"What A Beautiful Family!"

In which you get confused for being a family

Rengoku:

- It happens during a trip to the store in town with his little brother. Maybe it was to restock groceries or maybe it was buying supplies for his next demon conquest, either way: all three of you went down to visit.

- Rengoku smiled softly at you as he watched you with his little brother, holding his hand and laughing with Senjuro and occasionally lifting him up and spinning around.

- At some point during the walk, Senjuro pointed at some birds flying in the tree and begged Kyojuro for a closer look, which Kyojuro happily allowed him to do and put him on his shoulders with a big smile. You helped Senjuro steady himself and laughed at how precious the two looked.

- As Senjuro and Kyojuro debated about what kind of birds they were, you couldn't help but look at Kyojuro with nothing less than love in your eyes and a fond smile.

- "Aw, how precious!" a woman walking past with a basket filled with baked goods cooed at you three, "I'm glad even with demons terrorizing us, people can still have moments like this. Here, have some!"

- At first you tried to decline out of embarrassment but Kyojuro humbly took them and gave one to Kyojuro and handed a pastry to you. You were hesitant but then you took it and graciously thanked the lady, "but also, I feel bad for not paying for these, ma'am. Please, let me-"

- "Don't you worry about it. A beautiful family like you should enjoy a good snack on such a lovely day, especially since your husband's a hashira."

- Rengoku opened his mouth to let out a hearty "TASTY!" but stopped himself halfway when he heard that. You just stared at the lady in flustered shock as she bowed her head and walked away.

- You and Kyojuro shared a look with each other, Kyojuro giving you a nervous yet wide grin and you returned it. Both of your faces felt warm and you were barely able to hold eye contact with each other.

- "Haha, that lady thought you were (Y/n)'s husband! Isn't that funny, big brother?" and Rengoku's gaze softens as you become timid and look down at your feet, "Yes...I suppose it is, Kyojuro."

Tengen:

- You were walking with Tengen and his wives, happy to see him a bit more after his retirement, when you stumbled upon three neighboring children, who played too roughly and were crying their eyes out about it.

- You and Hinatsuru helped them while Suma tried not to cry with the two boys but offered to help and Makio awkwardly tried to calm them down. Tengen just squatted down and told them that it wasn't very flashy to cry, which made you and Hina elbow him.

- Instead of getting more upset, however, all three boys became excited and seemed to recgonize Tengen, asking him if he was the sound Hashira, which seemed to greatly inflate his ego as he said: "Yes but I am also the God of Festivals!"/ "WOW! REALLY!?"

- You and his wives exchanged glances knowing he wouldn't shut up. When they asked if he could tell him a story of the demons he fought, he tried to be all: "Oh, it might be too scary for you kids...BUT WHAT THE HECK- So I was in the Entertainment District which is filled with prost-"/ "UZUI."/ "IT'S IMPORTANT TO THE STORY."

- Anyways, after some censoring, each boy found a home in your lap, Suma's lap, and another sat on Hinatsuru's but leaned their head on Makio's arm. All of you entranced by Tengen's storytelling and prescence.

- "Haha, such an energetic father. Those boys are definetly gonna grow up strong!"/ "I wonder which of those women are his wife?"/ "From the way they're looking at him, all four, probably."

- Tengen's voice suddenly stopped, most likely because he heard what they said, but instead of correcting him, his eyes landed on you. You could feel Hina's, Suma's, and Makio's gaze on you as well and you felt timid...but not uncomfortable. His lips upturned into a smirk and you felt yourself trying to look at ANYWHERE but the attractive faces that were staring at you.

- "Well, what happened next!?" One of the boys demanded, impatient from the cliff hanger.

- "Huh- Oh, right! Anyways, this demon CAME OUT and he was UGLY. Absolutely hideous, like a monster that crawled from under your bed-"

- When the boys finally were called home, you all waved goodbye and parted ways. Leaving you alone with the retired Hashira and his wives, you didn't say anything but the energy felt different as Suma clung to your arm and Tengen walked closer to you, Makio's eyes would stray towards you but timidly look away when you caught her gaze as Hina wished this walk would last forever. Just the five of you.

[slavhew]

jakey + dirkjake sandwiched between my organic chem notes. a poem in there somewhere

[omnificent-orion]

Don't ever forget. Wherever you go…

Commission Info | Support My Work

[twstgarden]

❁ ❝ 𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀? ❞

━ third years and gn! reader (separate ; can be seen as platonic or romantic) ━ how unfortunate, you had to leave your dorm to buy some snacks in sam's shop, only to realise that the moment you stepped out of the mystery shop, a heavy rain started to drench you and your groceries. (f/n stands for first name)

do not steal or translate without my permission.

"thank you! all the best for your future!"

as you waved at sam, his goodbye greeting made you smile and bow politely at him before leaving his store. it was going to be a great day, or so you thought. you held the grocery bags in both hands as you started walking away with the intention to head back to your dorm, but the sudden roar of thunder followed by heavy rain hammering down sage's island said otherwise.

"damn it. just what i need."

you mumbled sarcastically to yourself, sighing heavily as you walked to a nearby bench under a tree. it was a little soaked with how heavy the rain was, but compared to the open streets, it was better. you looked back at sam's shop and wondered if you could purchase an umbrella, but you had no madols left - the ones you used to purchase the groceries do not have any change, so you were left with 0 madols in your pocket.

silently admitting your defeat, you sat on the bench. your clothes were already drenched, so why does it matter if you sat on a wet bench? at least sitting under this tree won't let the rain hit your face directly.

and so, there you were, sitting on the bench with your eyes up at the leaves of the tree, thinking about your next step. should you just run back to the dorm and say "fuck it"? or should you wait on this slightly drenched bench for the weather to be better?

you were about to do what you think is the best decision - even though, it's not, until a shadow cast over you. your view of the tree leaves was changed with a piece of fabric and what seemed like the interior of an umbrella.

❝ 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝 ❞

"ooh, prefect? what are you doing in here all alone?"

that was the first thing you heard from your so-called saviour of the day. a semi-bright smile was seen on the heartslabyul third-year's lips as he stood beside you on the bench, covering your slightly drenched self from the rain.

"oh, cater, uh... i just finished my grocery shopping and i did not know it was going to rain today, so with my shitty luck, i got out of the shop and the rain started pouring... i did not have any madols left to buy an umbrella, so i sat here and... started thinking if i should just run back to my dorm or wait until the weather is clear."

cater let out a soft "ooohhh..." as you explained your little situation, then he urged you to stand up as he grabbed a few of your grocery bags, "i'll help you, then! we can share my umbrella."

you hummed softly and thanked him in response, standing up as you grabbed the remaining grocery bags that he did not carry. "what are you doing out here, though?" you asked, walking down the main street with cater by your side.

"oh, me? i just got back from the bakery at the foot of the hill and i knew it was gonna rain today, so i came prepared!"

lucky him for reading the weather forecast before going out, then.

after he said those words, cater let out a soft laugh as he nudged you a little bit and spoke with a teasing tone, "you should read the weather forecast every now and then, n/n~"

you snickered at his words and nudged him back by the elbow, "it was so sunny when i went out, literally there was no indication that it would rain! the world is out to get me, cay-kun, the world is out to get me."

as you both walked down the drenched streets of the campus, the sound of the heavy rain drowned both of your conversations and laughter. soon, you arrived at the front porch of your dorm, turning around to smile at cater as you gave him a little polite bow.

"thank you for coming to my rescue~ haha, just kidding, but thank you for accompanying me."

❝ 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 ❞

“you’ll get sick if you stay drenched out here.”

a kind voice seeped through your ears as you looked up and saw trey looking down at you with a hint of concern in his eyes. he held his umbrella towards you, sheltering you from the heavy rain while searching through his pockets for a handkerchief, hoping it might at least dry you up a little.

“i did not know it was going to rain today,” you replied sheepishly, “but at least i got my groceries.”

“which are also drenched.”

“…yeah…”

a soft sigh followed by a laugh left his lips before grabbing your grocery bags and urging you to follow him. “come, i’ll bring you back to your dorm and prepare some soup,” said trey as he started walking with you in tow, making sure you’re still shielded by the umbrella.

“you’re a life saver, trey,” you spoke with a soft laugh, “if only i had read the forecast, then i would have been prepared for this.”

“is that a new lesson learned, n/n?” questioned trey rather teasingly. “oh totally,” you replied, “maybe i should pack an umbrella for emergencies… but then again, it would mean we wouldn’t meet in the rain like this.”

“oh, no. that is dangerous. you might get sick,” spoke trey, clearly not getting the hint that you were trying to say you wanted to see more of him.

‘ah… how dense…’

❝ 𝐥𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 ❞

“are you trying to get sick?”

hearing leona’s voice made you look up as you replied, “of course not.”

“then don’t sit in the rain,” said leona as he continued sheltering you with the umbrella, “come, i’ll bring you to your dorm.”

without another word, you stood up with your grocery bags in hand and walked alongside the savanaclaw dorm leader. no words were exchanged for the time being, but he paused in his tracks the moment he caught you shivering a little and lent you his jacket.

“read the forecast next time,” scolded leona with a soft click of his tongue.

in response, you huffed, but held onto his jacket for warmth, “hmph, it was sunny out, so i did not think it would rain… but i think it was worth getting drenched in the rain.”

with a raised brow, leona asked, “huh?”

“’cause you became my savior!” you replied with a rather cheeky and teasing smile, wanting to joke around with him, but his deadpanned expression was ten times better in response. his deadpanned expression turned into a soft smirk as he said, “ah, you did that on purpose, then. you are as sly as ruggie despite being an herbivore.”

it was your turn to have a deadpanned expression.

“i’ve told you plenty of times that i am not an herbivore.”

“whatever you say.”

❝ 𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭 ❞

“my my, did you not know you’ll catch a cold just bysitting in the rain like that? tsk tsk,” spoke vil as he sighed and pulled you up, “what are you even doing out here?”

“oh, vil! i went out for groceries, and…” you trailed off.

“…you did not know it was going to rain today?” questioned vil.

“...yeah.”

“hm. figured.”

you blinked in response, watching as vil turned around and urged you to follow him while you carried your groceries – which were drenched, by the way. “you could have stayed in sam’s shop until the rain passed,” suggested vil, “rather than moping on the bench like a wet cat.”

“i did not think of that… i was thinking of buying an umbrella, but i no longer have any madols left,” you replied.

vil hummed in response as he pulled you closer to make sure you were walking under his umbrella. he can’t have you sick now, can he?

“next time, bring an umbrella for emergencies. yes, we are in sage’s island and the weather seems to be under control, but you have to be prepared. you’re lucky i even caught you out here,” scolded vil.

“okay, mom,” you muttered.

“what was that?” asked vil with a raised brow, as if daring you to repeat what you just said.

you quickly shook your head in response, “nothing! um… what are you doing out here anyway?”

“i just got back from the botanical garden,” replied vil, “i was looking for a specific plant for a project of mine.”

“oh, i see…” you replied before looking up and realising you were standing right in front of ramshackle’s gate, “ah, we’re here! thank you, vil!”

just as you were about to run off, vil caught your wrist and spoke, “what are you doing? running in the rain all the way to the front door? no. i will accompany you. you’ll surely get a cold and grim isn’t exactly capable of taking care of you now, is he?”

❝ 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭 ❞

“oh la la~ seems i caught a sweet rabbit all alone.”

“rook, stop calling me that,” you quickly replied as you looked behind, “it’s creepy.”

with a soft laugh, rook proceeded to sit beside you, still holding onto the umbrella that now protected you both from the rain. “what might bring you here in this stormy afternoon?”

“groceries… and bad timing, i suppose,” you replied.

a dramatic sigh left his lips as he spoke, “mon dieu! how unfortunate. i shall take you home then, chérie.” as he stood up, he held his hand out towards you and smiled, “well, let’s get going, then.”

your walk back to ramshackle was a little quiet – well, you were. rook was busy talking and sharing a few things about his morning with vil and epel when you suddenly asked, “what were you doing out here, by the way?”

“ah, me? why, i was merely sightseeing!”

‘riiight… sightseeing…’ you thought to yourself.

“sightseeing… what… exactly?” you questioned, though at the same time, you wished you didn’t.

“wildlife, of course! just a lion in his natural habitat.”

‘called it,’ you thought.

“a-anyway, thank you for accompanying me, rook.”

❝ 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 ❞

“ortho?”

‘right… why would idia be out here anyway?’

“hello!” chirped ortho as he smiled at you while holding an umbrella. he was protected by his gear, so he clearly did not need the item as he handed it to you. “what are you doing out here, nee-/nii-san?”

“i was buying groceries,” you replied.

ortho hummed a little ‘oooo…’ in response before replying, “you should bring an umbrella with you next time!”

“ortho! wait for me!”

the sound of another voice caught you off guard as you looked away and saw idia heading towards you and ortho. “i should not have gone out,” muttered idia as he quickly hid behind the bench after reaching you.

“huh? idia?” out of pure confusion, you looked at him wide-eyed like a fish, “this is a first.”

a soft grumble was heard from the ignihyde dorm leader as he replied, “don’t start, n/n. i needed some snacks, but ortho insisted i leave my room and accompany him in this quest.”

“it’s not healthy to have junk foods as your entire diet,” you spoke.

“not this again,” mumbled idia.

you laughed a little and patted his shoulder, seeing as he was crouching behind the bench, “i’m just looking out for you. well, let’s go?” as you stood up, so did idia as ortho trailed behind you both.

the walk did not take long until you reached the front door. once you entered, you turned around and spoke, promptly inviting them into your home, “come, let’s play some games and enjoy the rainy weekend.”

❝ 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚 ❞

“child of man?”

a familiar voice made you turn around as you smiled and sighed softly in relief, and it took a few moments to realise the rain had abruptly stopped. “…huh? wasn’t it raining…?” you muttered, but as you looked at the man before you, he sported a frown.

“i did not realise you’d be out here. worry not, the rain has temporarily ceased. please, let me dry you off,” spoke malleus as he lifted his hand to cast a drying spell on you, but you knew just how powerful the gust of wind would be as you instinctively held onto the bench whilst he dries you off with his magic.

it did do the job, though, so you had no complaints.

“let me escort you back to your dormitory,” said he as you were about to grab your grocery bags, “and let me carry those.”

“wha- no, no, it’s alright. you don’t have to – “

“nonsense. this is the perfect chance to walk together, no?”

without another word, the grocery bags started floating beside you as he held a small smile on his face, gesturing you to follow him, and so you did. as you walked together and talked together, you couldn’t help but feel safe now that he was around.

“– and the order of their placement shows the most recent to the oldest carved gargoyles, which can also indicate just how long this academy has been around,” spoke malleus as he had been educating you on the gargoyles of night raven college, and you, of course, listened attentively.

all that talking made it seem like time was going too fast as you had already arrived at the front porch, causing you to sigh. “we’re already here? i wanted to hang out with you more,” you replied before realizing you had said those words out loud, which caused malleus to blink in surprise before smiling.

“we can always continue walking around. this building may seem old and decrepit, but it doesn’t mean it has no story to tell. don’t you think so, child of man?”

❝ 𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 ❞

“oh dear, by the seven, what is a poor little prefect doing out here?”

you huffed the moment you heard that before turning around to meet with lilia’s red eyes staring back at you with a teasing grin, but you knew he was worried about you as he quickly dried you off with a spell and held the umbrella over your head.

“you’ll get sick if you continue to soak yourself in the rain,” scolded lilia as if his teasing demeanor quickly turned into a parental one, “come, let’s bring you back to your humble abode.”

with a blink of an eye, lilia carried all your groceries in one swift motion, letting them float alongside you two as he hummed a happy tune while walking down the drenched main street. the umbrella continued to cover you from the rain as you stayed silent.

the short silence was cut by lilia as he gasped, “oh! i had completely forgotten. dear me, my memory must not be as sharp as it used to be.” confused, you blinked and looked at him, waiting for him to at least explain what he was talking about, but he had not said a word and instead, held your hand.

as you were about to ask what he was doing, you suddenly found yourself back in ramshackle’s foyer. did he just use his teleportation magic?

“…woah… that was so cool!”

you exclaimed, finding yourself amazed at the magical experience as you looked at lilia with a huge smile, “and you get to do that all the time? that’s so convenient! you are so cool, lilia.”

lilia laughed a little as he ruffled your hair, “look at you, gleaming like a kid looking at a candy. i suppose it is very cool, but cute is the best adjective to describe me, don’t you think so?”

“…um… yeah, sure.”

“is that hesitation i hear?”

you quickly shook your head, “no, not at all!”

in response, lilia smiled and patted your head, “then i am glad. i should reward you with a nutritious dinner made by yours truly.”

© twstgarden 2024 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.

[vonne-inc]

product: yandere boss - stolen shirt.

gender neutral reader. masturbation with clothing. typical pervert stuff. (a little bit of) yandere behavior.

the day was quiet��� the only sound was the clock ticking on the wall. tick, tick, tick, tick. a small reminder, one all too evident, that you weren't around. not now, at least.

even if your absence was temporary, he couldn't stand it. the growing need to see you was growing, and it was becoming unbearable. the only thing that kept him under control was knowing when you'd be back.

his body grew tense, looking at the ticking clock. five hours, nine minutes, and fifty-three seconds. it was still too long... still too much.

"sir?" his eyes snapped to the voice, his dilated pupils contracting. heels clicked against the floor, and soon, a plastic bag was set on his desk, "your lunch." staring at the bag, a familiar logo stamped on it, he quietly hummed.

as quickly as the substitute assistant came, she left. he paid no mind, focusing on the food. pulling the take-out container, his fingers skillfully opened it as he wafted in the smell. it was nothing expensive, rather cheap from a nearby restaurant. although it was special; a dish you commonly ordered.

ah, right. you.

his eyes flickered back to the clock. five hours, three minutes, and thirty-one seconds. only six minutes passed, "fuck..." he mumbled, the itching feeling growing again. his skin tingled, brows narrowed, and shoulders tensed.

pushing aside his lunch, letting it touch the end of his desk. he pulled his desk drawer out; a black, clean chest is shown into view. with a diligent motion, he grabs the key from his pocket and opens it with eager hands.

a sigh leaves his lips, pupils dilating once more as he spots the items inside. clothing, candid photos, perfumes, etcetera. all of it being yours. things to keep him managing whenever you're not around.

picking up one of the shirts he'd collected, unzipping it from its ziploc bag, he carefully takes the cloth and inhales your smell. it smelt just like you; your natural musk mixed with perfume.

the more he breathed in, his pants tightened as it showed his evident arousal. his legs spread wider, cock twitching, as his mind began to wander.

what would you do if you found him like this? force him to his knees and degrade him as he shows you how sorry he is? worshipping your sex with his mouth as he pleas for forgiveness.

would you let him bend you over his desk, fucking you with primal need? him whispering each perverted fantasy he's had of you; his assistant. praising you as he rips an orgasm from you repeatedly.

without thinking about it, his hands drag down his buttons shirt and toward his black pants. working at his belt, it falls loose as he slides his pants down— enough to free his cock.

the tip red, leaking with precum already, he begins to trace the veins of his length. his head throws back, eyes snapping shut as he continues. the stolen shirt had fallen from his grasp and hung on his lap, the smell still reaching his senses.

he reaches for it again, grasping it in his hand, while bucking his hip into the fabric. the loud groan resounded throughout his office. the act of your clothing being wrapped around his cock was enough to get him a needy mess.

his hand begins to stroke the cloth along his shaft, meeting the tip as it soaked in the precum forming. hips bucking up, digits balling into a fist around himself, he couldn't resist fucking into the shirt.

all he could imagine was what you'd look like with his cock thrusting inside of you. the way your face would contort, how your moans and gasps would sound, how stunning you would look riding him with his cum soaking your stomach and chest.

at that thought, he could feel the coil tightening. his grunts grew louder, eyes rolling into his skull. his thrusts became more erratic whilst his office chair squeaked underneath him.

ropes of white shot from his slit, soaking into the shirt and coating the end of his desk. cum hit his clothes, and he choked back a sob at the relief.

once he calmed down, he stared at the shirt in his grip that was still wrapped around his cock. before he thought about another perverted fantasy and become hard, he grabbed the ziploc and secured it back into the chest as he closed the drawer.

and while those hours without you were still unbearable, all that surrounded his thoughts was how much he couldn't wait to leave his newfound gift at your doorstep. he just knows that you'll be surprised to see your favorite shirt covered in his cum.

[bread-bastard]

Walk Mary Home side route my beloved (featuring my dadsona Antonio!) Mary needs more love in this fandom fr 🤍

[hazelkjt]

Pandora

An update of Hazel's Ancient counterpart, Pandora! A researcher at Pandaemonium before taking up the seat of Azem, she was known for being quite unpredictable and volatile. A few key bits about her-

Her favorite concept she ever created was the Alligator

Part of the wing that primarily evaluates concepts to be admitted to Pandaemonium

Considered the concepts she personally worked with her "toys" and her testing chambers her "toybox"

In the Reg!Hazel timeline she declined taking the position of Azem, citing she didn’t want someone else to “play with her toys without permission” while she was gone

Not well liked among her peers both at Pandaemonium and on the Convocation

Never really cared about the responsibilities of becoming Azem but DID enjoy the freedom the position gave her

Intentionally altered her state of dress to be more intricate because she knew it infuriated Emet-Selch specifically

Valued individuality and the unpredictability of life left untouched by Ancient intervention

Forever fascinated by how life placed on the star by Ancients changed and evolved after the concept was released to the wild

In the WoL!Hazel timeline she was days away from giving up the position of Azem before the Final Days began

[luvymelody]

NAME : kuroo tetsurou , haikyuu

SONG : coming down , the weeknd

SUMMARY : at the training camp, everyone just wants to have a little fun. so, while the coaches are asleep, the teams have a game of hide and seek.

( sexual acts but not outright smut ❌ )

y/n sat on her bed, her hands behind her as she propped herself on her bed as yachi’s bed as right infront of hers, yachi talking to her as she sat crossed legged.

y/n was the manager of the nekoma team and operated with the team by herself, as she was the only manager. all the girls were up and it was around 12am, none of the girls wanted to sleep.

“guys let’s do something! i’m so bored.”

yukie whined, she was a manager for the fukurodani team. she sat next to y/n, wrapping an arm around y/n’s arm. and suddenly, like the universe heard her, a knock on the door was heard.

bokuto knocked about 5 times, opening the door and peaking into the room as he noticed the light that was pooling through the cracks of the door into the dark hallway, believing the managers were awake.

“hey hey hey, you guys wanna play hide and seek?”

-

all the teams were grouped inside the fukurodani team’s dorm, huddling together and y/n was pulled by kuroo towards him and kenma.

“hey cutie.”

“hi tetsurou.”

y/n smiled, getting nudged by kuroo as she put her hands in her pockets. y/n and him were dating, having dated for nearly a year now.

bokuto started explaining the rules as everyone started listening, well most, you could hear kuroo and y/n who kept talking to each other.

“hey! kuroo and y/n- shut up!”

“hah?? you shut up!”

“whatever! last one out the room is the seeker!”

people started rushing out of the room to not be the seeker, the door was shut by the second last person in the room, kenma was sitting on the floor, playing on his phone and finally noticing no one was in the room.

“huh?”

-

y/n had lost kuroo through the crowd of people who kept pushing her away from him, she tiptoed through the halls as they were empty in just a few minutes and she already heard small whispers coming near her.

she panicked, not knowing who the seeker was and thought it was the seeker, so she hid inside the storage closet, it was so dark and there was no light switch in sight.

she tucked herself in, from her panic, she didn’t notice how she was pushed against someone’s front, their breath hitching and her sudden presence as she pressed her ear against the door to listen for the people.

“you think they’re in here, kenma?”

“dunno.”

y/n could just make out hinata’s and kenma’s voice, until the door handle started being rattled, y/n backed up and finally noticed the person behind her, their hand covering her mouth as she held the hand, trying to pull it off.

“nevermind, it’s locked. probably not in here.”

hinata walked away, and y/n raised her eyebrow in the dark to the sound of the door being locked, she removed the hand from the random person’s hand and tried to open the door, and not being able to.

“well hi cutie.”

“tetsurou!”

y/n exclaimed, looking around and up to just make out his frame and face.

“are we stuck in here?”

kuroo questioned, also trying to unlock the door but not being able too. y/n’s hand went towards the darkness, trying to find the walls or maybe a light switch, she found a switch, lighting up and flicking it on, but the light was so dim, it barely made an effect, y/n could see kuroo now though.

“what are we gonna do now, cutie?”

y/n wanted to be the last hider, but she also didn't want to be in the closet forever.

"let's just wait a bit tetsu."

-

a bit became an hour, and y/n was convinced that everyone had forgotten about her and kuroo.

in that time, kuroo had made room on one of the lower shelfs and had lifted y/n onto the shelf. it let kuroo have room to turn and slightly move and y/n could sit as her legs were tired.

"soooo, have you liked the training camp?"

"yeah, it hasn't been bad.. sorry tetsu it's so boring in here."

"it's okay y/n. i'm bored too."

kuroo leaned towards y/n, his hands resting next to y/n's knees as she sat on the shelf and kuroo leaned so he could stretch in the small space.

"do you wanna do something?"

"like what?"

kuroo had that smirk on his face,

"make out."

"tetsu."

"what!? we always lose track of time when we make out."

"..okay fine."

kuroo had an excited smirk on his face now, but he pushed his lips against hers quickly, grabbing at her waist as she held her hands on his shoulders. he leaned over her more, getting impossibly the closest he could be to the girl and he started rubbing circles on her waist.

he separated from her, a string of spit connecting them.

"fuck, i'm been so horny the whole time you have no idea."

"you could've told me sooner, baby."

"i was worried someone was gonna find us-"

kuroo had his hands over y/n's hips, his eyes locked onto her shorts.

"can i?"

"you can.."

y/n muttered, wanting kuroo to do whatever. y/n shimmed her pants off with the help of kuroo, he was eager and bumped his head on the shelf above his head as he was too tall.

the both of them giggled a little, but eventually he got her pants off, leaving her in her panties. kuroo stared at the slick starting to pool in her panties.

"so wet for me, pretty?"

y/n nodded, her lips wobbling as kuroo connected his own lips with hers, swirling his tongue with hers and her tounge lapped against his lips, as they separated, saliva was present on his lips as he touched his lips to see.

"wanna eat you out so bad."

kuroo leaned into her ear, whispering and nibbling at the top of her ear, before trialing kisses down, along the side of her neck, from her chest over her shirt, to her stomach and just above her panties, his lips so close that y/n could feel the vibrations of his voice, jolting her core and pussy.

he pulled her panties to the side, her pussy glistening with slick, licking a small line of her pussy as she whimpered and her hands were grabbing at the edge of the shelf.

"can i eat you out?"

"yes tetsu, ngh~!"

"itadakimasu."

[moongothic]

Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)

God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.

Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend

The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode

And so like

Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)

So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also

It would be objectively funny as hell

[wosemi-sama]

Hihi!! Guess who's back to make another Kyo request?!(⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Sooooooo as we know this mf is a HUGE tsundere, and recently Ren has said that he doesn't really know how to likeeee react to, accept affection so I was wondering how would he act with a s/o that's really really affectionate :3

hi again and thanks for the request!! i added my own hcs for what i think the iluna institute is like bc i think it would be such an interesting school n stuff ! hope u like it tho c:

kyo kaneko x reader

Just like every other school day, Kyo wakes up, gets ready for class, and waits for his friends, Ren and Aster.

He waits outside their dorms for a moment, leaning against the wall.

Ren comes out of his dorm room and greets Kyo. Almost immediately, Aster comes out his dorm too and greets his friends. The three of them start walking down to the cafeteria of the school to eat breakfast. The boys talked and laughed while they ate their first meal of the day.

20 minutes had passed, the bell rang, signaling it was time for students to start walking to their next class of the day. The three boys threw away their trash and walked out of the cafeteria. The doors to the cafeteria led to the outside, leading to multiple other hallways and classrooms.

ILUNA, Institute of Mythics, has one big courtyard in the middle. The school is made up of eight big hallways, arranged like a square of top of another square with a hole in the middle of both of them. Four hallways on the second floor, four hallways on the first floor. The courtyard has multiple buildings in it, such as the library, watch tower, the planetarium, observatory, and a smaller building that has more classrooms. It's a big courtyard.

Aster had already gone to his first class of the day, the first classroom next to the cafeteria.

Ren spotted Maria within the crowd of students and promptly chased after her, since they had their first class together.

After a few seconds, the concrete path cleared up, only a few students remained, walking to their classes.

The pathways were mostly empty now.

Kyo's first class of the day was Potions 101. He had it with Scarle. He had already memorized his schedule by now. He was about to start walking forward until he felt a pair of arms around him. Kyo's body stiffened, not knowing how to react, just like every other day.

Every single day without fail, Kyo gets hugged from behind in the same hallway at ILUNA Institute. It is, of course, his lovely S/O.

His S/O couldn't see it from behind, but his face turned bright red, nearly identical to a tomato.

Little did he know, a pair of familiar silhouettes were watching. The two people watching were, of course, Aia, the angel, who was infamous around the Institute of the Mythics for being kicked out of heaven, and Doppio, the delinquent from the friendly rival school, XSOLEIL, Institute of Infinity. Aia was heading to library as she was apart of the library committee. The library committee helped around the library and each member was scheduled to help out once a week during one of their classes. This was Aia's time. Doppio was skipping school, as usual and decided to drop by to spy on the ILUNA students.

They watched from afar, hiding behind the door to the exit. Aia silently laughed as she took out of her phone. Doppio was chuckling to himself as well, taking his phone out, his magenta phone case blending in with the shade as the sun hid away from behind the door.

Aia and Doppio quickly snapped a pictures of Kyo and his S/O, knowing this would be really funny blackmail.

Aia's phone made a shutter sound. Knowing that Kyo heard it, she quickly put away her phone. Her phone case covered in Genshin Impact stickers was hid away in flash as she darted across the courtyard, making her way to the library in hopes that a now 6 foot tall Kyo Kaneko wouldn't kill her in broad daylight.

Despite the fact that Doppio's phone also made a shutter sound, he ran away with the evidence and no harm done to him. As he ran away to the Institute of Ininfity to show the student council, he silently giggled and muttered to himself about how this would be SO embarrassing for Kyo and that he was going to show this to all of the student council and Kyo's friends.

Kyo's face returned to normal when he heard Aia's phone. Kyo quickly ran after Aia in attempt to make her delete and and all photos she took while his S/O watched in silence from under the shade.

"DELETE IT, YOU BITCH!!" Kyo shouted at Aia in an angry, but joking manner

"NOT A CHANCE, YOU COTTON CANDY LOOKING ASS BITCH!" Aia shouted as she tried her best to pull her phone away from Kyo.

"YOU SOUND LIKE SCARLE. SHE USES THE SAME GODDAMN INSULT FOR ME BECAUSE SHE CAN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER!" Kyo yelled with a smile on his face. It seemed like he almost laughed at what he was saying.

"FUCK YOU. SHE'S TRYING VERY HARD WITH HER ROASTS. DON'T INSULT MY WIFE LIKE THAT." Aia cackled.

"YEAH I KNOW THAT I'M LITERALLY FUCKING TEACHING HER HOW TO ROAST PEOPLE LIKE WE WILL LITERALLY SIT TOGETHER DURING LUNCH AND TRY TO COME UP WITH INSULTS FOR RANDOM STUDENTS WALKING BY ON CAMPUS AND ALSO SHE'S LIKE MY SISTER I WOULD NEVER INSULT HER AND MEAN IT LIKE WHAT'RE YOU ON ABOUT YOU SPAWN OF SATAN-" From a distance, it sounded like Kyo was freestyle rapping. He was talking extremely quickly without taking a breath and laughing extremely hard too. So was Aia.

At this point, they were both out of air and his S/O was laughing from under the shade as well.

The bell finally rung, signaling that if you weren't at class yet, then you were late.

Aia darted to the library before yelling something petty to Kyo. Kyo gave you a peck on the cheek before he quickly dashed to his first class.

As he was running away, he was a blushing mess.

[anneapocalypse]

On Dragon Age II's Ending

The ending of Dragon Age 2 has always felt to me like the least morally ambiguous of any of the games' mage-templar decisions and frankly one of the least ambiguous "big" decisions in the series.

DA2 makes it extremely obvious that the Circle mages are about to be executed for something that absolutely none of them had any part in and no one, not even the Knight-Commander, is arguing that that isn't the case. You can feel whatever kind of way about what Anders did, and still recognize the staggering injustice of killing all the Circle mages for something that everyone, including the Knight-Commander calling for their deaths, is fully aware they did not do.

And just in case that wasn't clear, someone made a point of dropping in that bit of ambient dialogue telling us that Meredith is already trying to get clearance for the Right of Annulment before the explosion; she's just looking for an excuse. The game is pretty clear about the injustice of this situation, regardless of how many demons and blood mages there may or may not be in Kirkwall.

I'm a chronic replayer who enjoys making up new characters every time to see things I haven't seen before and I didn't have a particularly difficult time coming up with in-character, circumstantial reasons why a character might annul the Circle in DAO or recruit the templars in DAI and believe they're doing the right thing. For the former: dwarven noble who knows little about magic and believes what the Knight-Commander tells her, and chooses the wrong dialogue option with Morrigan in the party so Wynne attacks and therefore is not present in the party as an emotional anchor and a voice for the mages, and listens to Cullen when he says it's too dangerous to let any of the mages live. For the latter: non-mage human noble from a Chantry-connected family who just implicitly trusts templars, as he was raised to. Or Dalish elf who walks into Redcliffe, sees a magister stinking up the place and says "Well, the Dread Wolf take the lot of you then" and turns around and marches straight to Therinfal, conscripts the templars, disbanding the Order in the process. Just a couple of easy examples I've actually played.

But the ending of DA2 is a choice between "Yes, I will help to execute these people for something everyone knows they didn't do" or "No, I will not do that and I will help them defend themselves and escape." Of course it's possible to come up with in-character reasons to make the former choice, and I have! But it's much less of a choice a character could just stumble into, and you have to do a lot more ideological contortions for a character to do that and believe they're doing the right thing.

Yes, there are a lot of blood mages and demons in Kirkwall. While we don't get a lot of opportunities to treat blood mage NPCs with much nuance apart from Merrill as most blood mages are programmed to attack on sight (and this is likely a product of the game's tight development deadline), the game itself offers an explanation for this in the writings of the Band of Three, the Enigma of Kirkwall codex entry that you can collect throughout the story. While you have to look to find it, this history does make it clear that Kirkwall is meant to be an outlier, for reasons both political and historical (which is another post for another day). And Merrill herself, whether you agree with her viewpoints or not, does offer an important counterpoint: a character designed to be sympathetic while giving a more nuanced perspective to the player on why a mage might choose to use blood magic.

And yeah, even with the fact that the game makes you fight Orsino in the mage ending, I still think this. It's clumsily executed, yes, but Orsino going all blood magic harvester abomination is just one more example of what the game has been showing us all along: that mages (like most people) turn to extreme measures when they're backed into corners with no sense of hope, and the templars then use those extreme actions to justify further abuses of mages. I don't think it was strictly necessary (and for what it's worth, Mark Darrah agrees with that; it's a decision that was made out of concern for gameplay balance more than narrative and in hindsight he's said that he thinks it was a mistake), and I definitely think it could have been executed better, but as it stands it does fit an ongoing theme, and Orsino's actions still do not justify the murder of every other mage in the Circle.

And then there's that thing where Hawke can only receive the support of the nobility and become Viscount if they side with the templars, thereby agreeing to uphold the existing power structures in Kirkwall. It's easy to miss if you've never played through the templar ending (and also because Hawke doesn't hold the position for long and Inquisition doesn't really acknowledge that they ever did Correction: It is actually mentioned in the Champion of Kirkwall codex entry, and possibly other places as well, my memory just failed me), but to me that outcomes is absolutely inspired. It serves to highlight how deeply intertwined the nobility are with the Chantry. The nobles of Kirkwall want Meredith deposed because they feel she's overstepped her bounds by denying them a proper viscount, but they are not anti-Chantry or anti-Circle; they still want mages locked up, and they probably also remember what happened the last time Kirkwall's nobility decided to try and contest the Chantry's power in their city (see: Perrin Threnhold).

I find the templar ending genuinely interesting to play through in terms of seeing the story from that angle, and in terms of what it has to say about power structures and politics in Thedas generally and in Kirkwall in specific, which I also wrote about recently. (To say nothing of how differently it frames Varric in Inquisition when the Hawke he idolizes is the Hawke who slaughtered Kirkwall's mages to a one.) I would honestly recommend playing it at least once for lore reasons if you're into that sort of thing. But I would hardly say that you as a player come out of that ending feeling like you're playing the good guy.

And I'm not even arguing that all choices in the games should be this in-your-face. On the contrary, I don't think they all should. I like it when it's possible for a character to make a choice with unintended outcomes, or get accidentally locked into a worse choice because of previous decisions (like annulling the Circle and then being forced to kill Connor or Isolde). Those are some of my favorite kind of choices in these games. In this particular case, I do think the extreme nature of the choice is important to the story, both as the catalyst for the mage rebellion and to underscore why Anders did what he did.

So when people tell me that DA2 "both sideses" the mage-templar conflict... I respect that it's possible to feel that way about it, but I just don't see it. The game allows the player to role-play a character who might make various choices within its narrative; that is not the same thing as presenting all choices as morally equivalent in-universe, and it has never been the same thing, in any of these games.

If you're looking for one mage-templar choice that puts the injustice squarely in your face, I think the ending of DA2 is very much that.

[sassyandclassy94]

Let’s just appreciate… this.

[aphel1on]

really all i should need to do to get professionally dx'd with autism is show them my warrior cats conlang from senior year of high school