#THIS SHIT HIT

[waitmyturtles]

WELL???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE THE REST OF MY DAY AFTER THAT????

I Feel You Linger in the Air, episode 11:

I didn't write about episode 10 last week due to life circumstances; I know my dear friends @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm took issue with the ways in which pieces of the narrative from episode 9 were left on the ground. I was feeling basic last week and enjoyed the soapy drama arcs, but I do agree with Shan and NBW that last week's episode was a touch watery and wanting.

NOT THIS ONE.

THIS EPISODE? Y'all know I've been mostly watching older series this year. Of NEW series that I've watched this year? With the caveat that I haven't watched La Pluie yet, this episode 11 of IFYLITA may be the single best episode of a new series I've seen this year. WHY?

Tee Bundit let this story tell itself. No interference. He let Nonkul and Bright take the lift, and tell the script TO US. THEY ARE CIPHERS. They let the emotion of this moment, the MOMENT THEY ARE HOLDING ON TO AS YAI AND JOM, TELL THIS STORY.

MY GOD. THE ROOM WE HAD TO EXPLORE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS.

Oh god! Every time they met together, the controlled intensity, the KNOWING of the time they had left, and still! Yai flirting with Jom in the bed as Jom is drawing his portrait! We coulda had tears! No, Yai just jumped him instead!

Jom sees Yai standing in the garden! Back hug, chin snuggle! These two are ENJOYING ALL OF THEIR EMOTIONS TOGETHER, knowing what little time they have left. They are not leaving ANYTHING on the table in terms of their interactions. They're not gonna sit in the corner and sob! THEY WILL LIVE AND LOVE THE REST OF THEIR DAYS TOGETHER.

That dance scene. The leaning in. The emotion of foreheads touching. The achievement of Jom to get a moment of equality for the house servants, to not work, to be friends all together in one room, to transcend caste and wealth, to be accepting of Yai and Jom's love, Jom coordinating for Yai a moment where Yai can be out and safe, as Jom was in his future life, around people that love them together.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Also, god. The Eaung Paeng storyline. As a mom, I am gritting my teeth and hoping for the DAMN best for EP, because she deserves the best. I do not want anything happening to EP. 1928 -- not necessarily a year I think of as a high point for women's healthcare. Carrying the baby of a man you hate? Probably the worst-case life scenario I could possibly think of.

Shit, y'all, this episode took me OUT. @slayerkitty! I don't easily cry at shows, but I SOBBED.

I'm just blubbering. Best work I've ever seen by Tee Bundit, and I've seen almost all of it this year. Episode 12 will be hard to top; if it doesn't top this episode, I can't exactly blame Tee, because this was an artistic HEIGHT.

P.S. @lurkingshan IS RIGHT. This will TAKE YOU OUT if you're an Eternal Yesterday/Eien no Kinou girlie like me.

[dumbass-rogue]

"You're more beautiful than a simple binary answer."

[stellerfly]

TRANS MEI DRAGON JUMPSCARE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[a-sweeter-solarsystem]

take my hand for a moment

your objective from this point on is to survive

the election results are going to take a few days. The world is going to be very tense. I want you to take all the things you like to do to distract yourself and splurge on them. I want you to go eat your favroite foods and spend time with friends. I want you to do what you gotta do to make sure you can make it through the week.

There are people out there who want you to survive. There are people out there who are just as scared as you are.

We'll get through this. We will find a way

[mead-iocre]

Khelif advances to the semi-finals and is now guaranteed a medal in Paris!

[sangled]

shipping win! they have different but equally terrible coping mechanisms

[littlelightfish]

I find it funny that Chilchuck gets hited by rocks one extra time on anime than in manga

They really said: "yea, one more time wouldn't hurt"

[tipsywench]

This wonderful fan account on instagram Imane_Khalif_10 has been translating interviews and this is the funniest one so far (edit: apparently she's deleted her account or switched to a different name)

Imane Khelif, patron goddess of punching the shit out of bullies

[kalicocal]

there's something about caitlyn's playful stare and the fact that they're both giggling that made this scene all the more intimate to me

[the-palelady]

simon deserves a quiet, loving marriage.

after everything the man has been through he deserves someone that loves him the right way. someone who sees past the flaws, the scars, the darkness that has embedded itself into his mind.

words of affirmation don’t have to be spoken to one another. the two of you just know how the other feels just through their actions or even just the look on their face, the glint of light behind the others eyes as your gazes meet.

he makes you laugh with his occasional morbid jokes or jokes that most wouldn’t find funny, and in return you do the same for him. your laughter is contagious to him. it makes the corners of his lips twitch into a smile that makes your heart beat just a bit faster. has your face brightening in a way that has him asking, “y’alright, love?”

you both meet each other in the middle. not everything is thrown onto one person: laundry, the dishes, you name it. you and simon help each other, work as a team because that’s what partners do. nothing is ever done alone.

he loves the stories about your day no matter how minuscule they may seem to you. they are everything to him. he loves the crinkle at the edges of your eyes when you have a bright smile spreading wide across your face. he loves your mind, how intelligent you are, how you help remind him of things that he so easily forgets.

but most of all he loves how gentle you are. and he’ll always feel like he doesn’t deserve it. he’s a bad man isn’t he? he’s taken the lives of countless of people and yet here you are preparing the man a plate full of your amazing food, warming his bed, and standing with that sparkle in your eyes by the front door when he comes home.

those tendrils that sit in waiting at the back of his mind slowly creep in every so often and it’s like you can see them with those sharp, knowing eyes of yours. the second you spot them you’re shooing them away with a kiss to his brow bone, nuzzling just a bit closer to him in bed until it feels like he might consume you whole with how big he is.

when you finally relax into him, your lips pressed against his temple, he just barely makes out, “everything will be alright.”

and he knows then and there that he does deserve you, that he does deserve your laughter, your smiles, the warmth you bring him, and your kindness.

simon knows everything will be alright because he has you.

[sacriou]

HIT THAT SHIT HERSHEL

[stellerfly]

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[sixth-light]

I have had these thoughts bubbling away in my head for like...eighteen months or so now (it will become very obvious why shortly) but the discussion in this post has pushed me to write them down: I think societally we HUGELY underestimate how motherhood for primary caregivers, particularly first-time motherhood, can be a source of vulnerability to radicalisation.

There is obviously huge cultural variance here, but for a lot of cis women becoming primary caregiver to an infant in a capitalist Western society represents a time of immense vulnerability because in general you are:

Incredibly sleep-deprived (which has well-documented knock-on effects for your judgement, mental health, etc)

If you gave birth, recovering from a significant challenge to your physical health (even in the best-case scenario)

Isolated from your previous networks and communities of people in full-time work

Completely separated from the context of your prior career goals and achievements

Under huge amounts of stress to learn how to care for an infant (don't get me started on breastfeeding)

And on top of this, you are also be experiencing a huge amount of messaging about how all this is natural, wonderful, something you're meant to do, something you should love doing, and something that you must do for the welfare of their child. It's a huge amount of pressure and life change even when everything goes right and there's very little cultural space to express negative feelings about it.

Any group of people who offer community, support, and affirmation to cis women in this situation are going to have a really good shot at radicalising them into some very weird and dangerous headspaces and in fact we see this happen all the time - think antivaxxers and TERFs. It flies under the radar because of the hazy positive glow that associates with motherhood and babies and also because we don't take the radicalisation of women seriously I guess because they rarely shoot anybody, but...yeah. It is such a vulnerable time!

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..

[spillmygutsout]

just watched i saw the tv glow