#THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO LISTEN TO EPIC THE MUSICAL IS YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

[youngtomhardy]

Me on film by Cin Lona in Los Angeles, CA.

I haven’t had a place where I can endlessly type out thoughts for awhile… I wanna tell you what’s really been going on behind the scenes with my career. The highs, lows and everything in between. If you followed me here, you’re a true medranhoe. These might be long, but I hope you find these interesting. <3 Here’s my story so far…

After releasing Fluids & going viral on twitter a few times, I was found by a team parented by Epic Records in 2020. In hindsight, it’s better that I never officially signed. We had our first meeting on March 15, 2020, can you believe? The next day, the world shut down and I didn’t hear from them for months. They had just spent a shit ton of money on lunch with me where they told me they were gonna put me on tour as an opener, promised me Rock in Rio within the first 2 years of working, and a huge deal with the parent company. I was devastated when the lockdowns started, but I understood. We were all scared.

Eventually we got to talking again and tried to work during the pandemic. The music industry collapsed and TikTok became the way to break artists. So they encouraged me to get on there & start making content. Then they linked me up with a personal trainer. Took care of the costs, put it onto my development budget. In between, they’d whisk me away to estates in Palm Springs, 5 star hotels in Venice, insanely expensive dinners in LA’s art district. It was a dream come true, it was too good to be true. I predicted this would happen in my teen years. I feel like I’ve already seen my life happen, but that’s for another post.

From there, I wrote a radio top 40 single with AJ, got my first sync deals, got Fluids in front of Mike Dean and a couple other huge name producers (they all love the song by the way) and started working on my album with my co-producer Dan. He’s gone on to work with BTS and Noah Cyrus which is fucking amazing & honestly will be a great little quip for press when my album drops. A win is a win. The songs are great, we worked on 5 songs together for the record.

Slowly but surely, things looked less and less promising with the team. Texts and calls got less frequent, my personal training sessions were cancelled. I knew what was happening. Another part of my story I’d already foreseen. Even through all of this, they remained so kind & supportive, for which I’m grateful. Regardless, I could feel them pulling away and that hurt.

In spite of going viral on tiktok over and over again, my streams and listeners rapidly rising, the deal never happened. It hurt so fucking bad. I cried and screamed and raged and ranted to anyone who would listen. I’m still not fully over it, but I have a little more clarity & peace now. It wasn’t my fault & I know this is common in the industry, but I guess I was just really hoping to bypass that part of the story. I’ve always been an impatient fuck.

So I picked myself up like always do and said fine, I’ll drop this album myself. Started the rollout and the music got attention from bigger names. All. By. Myself. Personal Heaven dropped and it got to Slayyyter. She told me she loved the song, wanted a session with me, and we became friends. She’s the first pop star in the industry that went out of her way to be kind & work with me. I’ve always admired her so much, I really hope one of the songs we worked on (or will work on) comes out one day. I’m seriously so grateful for her friendship.

Then I started working with Funk LeBlanc and we made a song that was an instant success with fans. ‘Do Your Thing, Babe!’ went viral 5 times all in different scales. The lowest viewed tiktok had 60k, the highest almost half a million. Labels got into my email again, ranging from EMI (they ghosted me after 1 email — why i’ll never know — but that one hurt) to smaller indie efforts. A new team reached out to me, this time with ties to Columbia. A dream label of mine. I’m still working with the imprint label now, but things are a little more low key. No promises of deals, no expensive dinners, no parties, just little meetings here and there — a friendship almost. I don’t know if this is better or not, but it feels good and genuine. They love the music, the image, and I really am so thankful to my first team for helping me curate that side of myself.

So now, I spend my days going to sessions, doing quick jobs for extra cash, playing with my puppy, and working out. Kim Petras recently followed me and I don’t really know why but I love her & hope it’s for my music. I’m hoping to get into sessions with her one day too, maybe a collab? Hopefully. I just gotta really make my mark. I may not be where I want to, but my god am I further along than where I was. My project is finally out in January. My heart once broken is finally healing. For the first time in a long time, the future looks bright and I’m happy.

- Disco Dad.

[darter-blue]

tfw you wake up accidentally married to a superhero

stucky - shrunkyclunks - total fluff...

Read it here on ao3

Or part one, two, three, four and five on tumblr

Part 6:

Steve...

Steve can’t quite believe that this is real. There’s something magical about the way Bucky is looking up at him. There’s something overwhelmingly honest in his affection. Steve wants to kiss him again. But the music has stopped and the confetti is no longer falling and Scott is clearing his throat and, well, this is probably not the time or place for Steve to lose the last shred of his control.

‘Boys, boys, boys!’ Mavis is cooing, clapping her hands, ‘You did it!’

‘We did it,’ Bucky says softly, smiling quietly, eyes shining up at Steve.

‘We did,’ Steve says. Totally unnecessarily. But words have never been his forte. Steve’s life is always about action. He got so used to people not listening to him. Before the serum, after the serum… nobody listens to Steve’s words.

But they pay attention to his actions.

Bucky has done nothing but listen to him tonight. Everything Steve said Bucky has heard. Bucky has answered Steve’s words with actions, had pulled him forwards into activity after activity. Has interpreted all of Steve’s clumsy musings with a perception that almost defies logic.

Steve so rarely gets to let anyone else take the helm. Very rarely would ever trust anyone to do so.

But he trusts Bucky.

His stormy blue eyes and the warmth of his touch and the way his voice wraps around Steve like a blanket to keep him safe. Familiar. Beautiful.

And now...

Now he’s family.

‘Scott, kiddo, we need you to sign this for us,’ Mavis says, pulling Scott away from where he’s awkwardly standing behind Bucky and Steve at the altar. ‘You boys too, we need signatures and then you can run away to your room for the real celebration!’

Mavis’s glee is exuberant and seemingly infinite. But she makes an interesting point.

No they have the rest of the night to themselves. As a newly married couple. Which he guesses makes this the honeymoon…

He’s certainly no expert on marriage or relationships of any kind… but that's typically a pretty exciting period of time…

Steve may or may not be panicking about the ramifications of what that means for both of them.

He doesn’t have that much experience doing this since he’s had the serum… Fumbling around in a tent with a sergeant after a long day tracking through enemy territory… maybe getting hands on each other, mouths at most…

He hasn’t done that for a while. And he’s never had time, or even the inclination, to worship someone, to take his time, to discover enough about someone to give them everything they want.

He’s not even sure he knows how to do that.

‘You’re thinking too hard,’ Bucky says, placing a gentle finger between Steve’s eyebrows, ‘Come sign the papers Stevie, and then we can talk about what’s worrying you.’

Steve is hit again by how much he can’t believe this is real, that Bucky can see his hesitation, knows him already.

Too much of that disbelief must be evident in his expression though, because Bucky takes his finger away and stands up straight, taking his weight off Steve’s arms, ‘Unless you're freaking out? Are you freaking out?’ Bucky’s hand slides down Steve’s arm and slows as it reaches his forearm, grips it with comfort. ‘We haven’t signed anything yet Steve, it’s not too late to change your mind.’

‘I haven’t,’ Steve says, sharp, shaking his head hard and fast, ‘I would never.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.’

Bucky reaches up to kiss him again, fiercely, pushing up into Steve’s chest and gripping his arms. Steve kisses back like a desperate man, forgetting again that they have people waiting on them, that they need to be getting out of the way.

Forgetting about anything and everything but the taste of Bucky, the sweetness, the hint of sugar on his tongue, the saltiness of the sweat on his lips. He’s lost in the sensation.

‘You two lovebirds better get up here and sign this so it's official!’ Mavis is laughing at them, Steve can hear it.

Bucky pulls back and almost falls, Steve has to grab him to stop him from falling backwards. ‘Oops,’ Bucky says with a grin, ‘We better get up there.’

‘Gotta make it official,’ Steve says. He can feel the answering grin on his own face.

‘Good, good,’ Mavis says as Steve and Bucky make their way up to sign the paperwork, ‘let me get this all officiated for you and you can come and pick them up with your album in the morning,’ Mavis takes the signed papers from them and shuffles them into a folder, ‘Take your rings, take this,’ she gives them each a glass of champagne Steve didn’t even see her pour, ‘go thank your witness and get out of my chapel, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘Thank you so much, Mavis,’ Bucky says, pulling away from Steve to wrap Mavis in a hug, very nearly spilling his champagne down her back. ‘You’re wonderful.’

‘Oh, well,’ Mavis says as Bucky lets her go, a pretty pink blush creeping into her peach cheeks, ‘you two have been an absolute delight.’

‘Thanks Mavis,’ Steve says, reaching out to shake her hand, ‘we’ll see you in the morning.’

‘You better!’ Mavis turns away, waving over her head at them and heading out to the office at the back with their paperwork.

Bucky tips his head back and drinks the entire glass of alcohol in one pull, gesturing for Steve to do the same, ‘We’ll leave the glasses here,’ he says, setting his down on a console near the doors, ‘down the hatch, Stevie.’

Steve looks down at his glass and shrugs, tips it back and drinks it down in three mouthfuls. He looks back at Bucky, rosy cheeked and laughing and has the overwhelming desire to kiss him again, slower, and longer and without the audience.

‘I ah,’ Scott says, clearing his throat again as he sidles up to them, ‘I should get your number, you know, so I can send you the video.’

‘Oh, good idea!’ Bucky says, and they set their heads together while Steve stands back and watches.

Once they have their numbers exchanged and Bucky has laughed at the pictures, he pulls Steve in closer, sets Scott in the middle of them, their arms around him.

‘Quick selfie,’ Bucky says, holding his phone out and snapping a photo, the three of them in their matching t-shirts and matching grins.

‘Thank you, Scott.’ Steve says, clapping him on the back.

‘Anytime, Cap, anytime. Literally. Call me and I’ll be there. Whatever you need.’

‘Yep, yes,’ Steve says, shaking Scott’s outstretched hand and then stepping back, ‘I’ll ah, I’ll be in touch.’

‘You were wonderful too, Scott,’ Bucky says, pulling a happy Scott into a hug, ‘thank you so much.’

‘You’re welcome, Bucky. It was my pleasure.’

‘We should get going though,’ Steve says, wrapping a hand around Bucky’s, ‘It was lovely to meet you Scott.’

‘Right, yes, big night for you!’ Scott puts his arms out as he takes a step back, ‘You know, wedding night, ah…’ he trips on a fold in the carpet and does a little backwards hop, ‘epic romance and ah… you know,’ he goes to make a gesture with his hands but stops mid way, ‘yeah I better,’ he sticks his thumb over his shoulder, ‘leave you to it.’

‘Thank you, Scott,’ Steve says again, his voice probably coming off a little more authoritative than he intended.

Bucky is laughing into Steve’s shoulder, and the feel of his warm breath on the thin material of his T-shirt is very distracting. He hardly notices that Scott is gone, or that they’ve reached the open doors and are now back into the hustle and bustle of the Casino.

‘So um,’ Bucky pulls away from him enough to look up into Steve’s face, ‘I may or may not be sharing a room with my best friend, who may or may not have someone up there with her right now…’

‘Oh, I have a room all to myself,’ Steve says quickly grabbing Bucky by the hand, ‘would you… I mean, if that’s okay?’

‘Sounds great,’

‘Okay it’s this way,’ Steve pulls Bucky towards the elevators, ‘Do you need anything?’

‘I have everything I need,’ Bucky says with a smile, looking Steve up and down and biting his lip. ‘Maybe more than I know what to do with, to be honest.’

Steve has to huff a laugh at that. And the idea that Bucky might also be feeling a little overwhelmed by the physical connotations of the decision they’ve just made eases a tightness in Steve’s chest.

‘We can take it as slow as you like, Buck.’

And Bucky is nodding his head. ‘Slow is good, I can do slow.’

There seem to be even more people out on the casino floor than earlier, and Steve is careful to pull Bucky through them gently, not bumping or knocking or accidentally treading on anyone, ever conscious of how much heavier his step is than it used to be, how much damage he could cause with a moment of carelessness.

It’s enough to pull all of his focus, and they’re at the elevators before he has a chance to think to panic about anything else.

Bucky leans forward and pushes the button to go up.

When the doors open, at least five other people shuffle into the elevator with them. Too drunk or too wrapped up in their own conversations to pay much attention to Bucky and Steve as they move all the way to the back and lean against the railing. Hands held gently between them.

‘What floor?’ someone asks over their shoulder as the doors close, and then balks as he catches Steve’s eye. ‘Ah… Sir.’

Steve looks down at Bucky as he answers, ‘Ten.’ and squeezes his hand.

Bucky squeezes back.

‘Ten. Ten. Sure.’ The guy presses ten and then looks back over his shoulder at Steve and nods his head, eyes wide. ‘You’re ah… you seem bigger in real life, you know.’

‘I have heard that,’ Steve says, smiling tightly at the guy and then looking back at Bucky to gauge his reaction.

Bucky is looking between him and the passenger with a raised eyebrow, his brow furrowed, but he doesn't say anything. Just squeezes Steve’s hand again, and Steve lets out his held breath, squeezing Bucky back.

The last of the other passengers shuffle out at the fifth floor, glancing curious looks back at Steve, and the doors close behind them, leaving Bucky and Steve alone. Bucky stretches forward, pulling Steve’s hand with him, and pulls the emergency stop on the elevator.

‘Okay,’ he says, turning back to Steve, ‘what was that?’

Steve shrinks into his shoulders as Bucky stalks towards him, leans back into the railing of the elevator until he hears it crack.

‘Shit.’

‘Steve!’ Bucky says, looking behind him at the cracked railing and then up at Steve’s no doubt very sheepish expression, ‘what’s going on?’

‘Okay, so, I can explain this,’ Steve starts, carefully moving away from the railing and towards Bucky, keeping their hands joined, not wanting to stop touching him, ‘I ah… when I said my name is Steve Rogers…’

‘It’s not?’

‘Oh, no, it definitely is. That’s the problem.’

‘What’s the problem?’ Bucky asks, frown deeply etching into his forehead.

‘That’s me, I’m Steve Rogers.’

‘Yes, you said that…’

‘Steve Rogers, like Captain America.’

‘Captain America's name is Steve Rogers too?’

Steve can’t help but laugh, Bucky looks so quizzical, so adorably confused.

‘Yes Buck, his name, my name… I’m Steve Rogers and Captain America.’

‘Oh,’ Bucky says, narrowing his eyes, ‘ohhh.’ His eyes widen and he looks Steve up and down again. ‘Huh.’ he says, nodding, ‘I mean yeah… that makes total sense. I can see that.’

‘Are you… okay? Are you mad?’ Steve asks, he can feel his shoulders up around his ears.

‘Mad? Why would I be mad?’ Bucky steps closer, peering up into Steve’s face, ‘Steve, why would I be mad?’

‘I lied to you?’

‘You didn’t,’ Bucky says, shaking his head, stepping even closer, lifting a hand up under Steve’s chin and lifting it from where it’s burrowing in between Steve’s collar bones, ‘You told me your name was Steve-Steve Rogers, was that a lie?’

Steve huffs a surprised laugh. ‘No.’

‘Then when did you lie?’

‘I didn’t tell you, I knew you didn’t recognise me, and I didn’t say anything.’

‘Listen, Stevie, if I went around telling everyone that didn’t recognise me, that I was a guest mechanic on that show one time where they custom build motorcycles for people who have too much money, I’d look nuts.’

‘Yeah but-’

‘No buts. It’s your job right?’

‘I mean, in a very simplified sense, yes.’

‘Uh huh, well, let's be real simple, you’re a superhero, I’m a mechanic,’ Bucky moves so close to Steve that his chest is pressed up against Steve’s. Steve can feel his heart beat through the point where their bodies meet, ‘we’re married, and we get to spend the rest of our lives figuring out if it's crazier to be married to a guy who gets emotional over a cracked magneto rotor or a guy who fights crime for a living.’

‘It’s not really crime-’

Bucky puts a palm over Steve’s mouth to muffle him. He’s looking at him with the sort of fondness that Steve has never known. Has only read about. And then his mouth quirks, and his eyebrow lifts and his gaze switches from warm to hot as he crowds into Steve’s space. ‘Steve, shut up and kiss me, okay?’

Steve doesn’t waste any time. He grabs Bucky by the thighs, flips them around and lifts him against the wall.

Bucky’s legs wrap around Steve like its instinct and his arms fly up to grip Steve by the back of the neck. ‘Oh wow,’ he reaches up to meet Steve’s mouth as Steve reaches down to kiss him. ‘You can’t be real.’

‘I’ve been thinking the same thing about you all night,’ Steve whispers, breathing the words into Bucky’s mouth between kisses.

Steve can feel that he’s hard, and that his dick is trapped between them as he presses Bucky further and further into the wall. ‘Oh wow,’ Bucky says with a sharp intake of breath.

‘Sorry,’ Steve says, not pulling back far enough from the kisses to give the word any real feeling.

‘I think you mispronounced, “you’re welcome”,’ Bucky laughs, rocking his hips up against Steve’s erection and ringing a gasp out of both of them.

‘I need to get you up to the room,’ Steve says, trying to grasp at his self control, ‘need to get this elevator going again before they send a search party up here.’

‘I guess we can’t have you turning up on TMZ wrecking your new husband in an elevator, huh?’

Steve has to close his eyes to that image, to the idea of just ripping Bucky open against the wall like this, of tearing into him, biting and licking and fucking and taking and Bucky giving himself over. It’s so much, it's too much, and Steve has to pull back, has to count down from five to get some of his control back.

‘Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay, we’re okay,’ Bucky is saying, not pressing into Steve’s space but keeping him grounded. Finding his feet and reaching out with one hand to Steve’s forearm, the other keeping him steady against the wall, ‘let's start it up again, get to the room.’

Steve keeps Bucky in his periphery as he leans over and depresses the emergency stop, starting the elevator up again with a lurch and a grind of gears.

He slides Bucky's palm down his forearm to lock their fingers together. ‘I’m good, sorry.’

He looks down at Bucky and Bucky is looking back at him. Not judging, not frowning. His face is soft and open, his smile small but real. The acceptance radiating off of him is tangible; Steve could run his fingers through the air and touch it.

He lets himself unclench, lets his body be at ease, leans into Bucky and rests his cheek on the top of Bucky’s head.

‘You know,’ Bucky says quietly, speaking the words into Steve’s shoulder again, ‘I’ve probably had too many cocktails for too much nonsense tonight anyway.’

And Steve hugs him tighter, wraps his arms around him to pull him impossibly closer.

‘Maybe we should do some investigating, once we get to your room, find out who gets which side of the bed, and which one of us is the blanket hog.’

‘It’s going to be you,’ Steve says, just as quietly, his words landing in Bucky’s hair.

‘Probably.’

‘I run pretty hot though, I should warn you.’

Bucky pushes up to tilt his head back, to reach up and press a soft kiss to Steve’s lips, ‘I bet you do.’ when the elevator slows to a stop and dings, the doors opening to the tenth floor.

It’s quiet, and the lights are low, and Steve feels calmer, his panic receding. He leads Bucky to the suite that Tony organised for him, too much for just Steve, but probably just right for the two of them. Just fancy enough for a wedding night.

‘Holy shit,’ Bucky says spinning around as he follows Steve inside, ‘this is some room!’

‘It’s a bit much’

‘It’s amazing!’ Bucky is busy walking around and looking into the corners, poking his head into the bathroom, ‘Fuck a duck,’ he looks back out at Steve, ‘your shower is bigger than my apartment!’

‘Can I get you anything?’ Steve asks, in lieu of finding a non awkward way to discuss the size of his ridiculously ostentatious hotel room. There are a million tiny bottles of alcohol in the minibar, though Bucky’s probably had enough (the implications of that are for Steve to worry about tomorrow). All sorts of food and snacks that he’s been too scared to open, lest they cost Tony a small fortune, but he’d be happy to open them for Bucky.

Bucky comes back over from his tour of the room to stand by the kitchenette with Steve. ‘Um water?’

‘Sure.’ He pulls a bottle from the mini fridge and opens it, hands it to Bucky who drinks it down and sits the empty bottle on the counter. ‘Hungry?’

Bucky peers up at him and shakes his head. He looks over at the giant bed, back to Steve, and then to the remote on the nightstand.

‘Okay. Idea.’ He grabs Steve by the hand and pulls him over to the bed. ‘We pick the cheesiest movie we can find, get under the covers, and order ice cream.’

Steve could cry, it's everything he needs (not what he wants, but he doesn’t trust himself, his body, his control right now). Honestly. ‘Okay.’ He crawls onto the bed next to Bucky and shows him which button elevates the TV up out of the bench at the foot of the bed.

‘Whoa.’

Steve has to admit that it’s pretty cool.

And it's much nicer when he has someone to share it with.

Bucky fluffs a bunch of pillows and places them against the bed head, sits himself up against them and burrows down into them. ‘You coming?’

Steve nods his head. He pulls off his shirt and folds it up, places it on the armchair next to the bed, holds his hand out to take Bucky’s as well. ‘Pants too,’ Steve says with a smile. Only half wanting to get to snuggle up to all that soft smooth olive skin, and half wanting to make sure Bucky is comfortable.

Bucky rolls his eyes with a smile and shuffles around until he has his clothes off, passes them over to Steve who folds them and puts them with his own. Matching t-shirts folded together.

He looks down at his ring and feels that now familiar skip of his heart.

It's real.

He could have this every day.

Someone to snuggle up to. Someone to fall asleep with. Wake-up to.

He takes his own pants off and places them on top of the pile, sliding in under the covers next to Bucky and reaching an arm around to pull him close.

‘What are we watching?’

‘Alright, don’t be mad, but there’s a Murder She Wrote marathon…’

‘And you like this show?’

Bucky nods.

‘Then it’s perfect,‘ Steve says. Leaning back into the pillows. ‘Tell me everything I need to know.’

He doesn’t mean to, but the sound of Bucky’s voice, the lull of the soft light and the background noise, the warmth of Bucky’s body pressed against him… it's like the ultimate comfort. For the first time in as long as Steve can remember, he feels his eyes closing, he feels his mind quietening, he feels his body settle into rest.

If Bucky regrets this, if he wakes up and realises this was a drunken mistake, if he changes his mind for whatever reason, Steve will have still had this night. He will have had this peace.

He’s going to steal it now. Not borrow trouble. He’s going to lie back and let this be his. Even if it’s just for one night.

And Bucky’s voice, his warmth. They have him believing that it might be forever. Something about Bucky just makes Steve believe.

In love at first sight. In soulmates.

In Happiness.

He tightens his hand around his husband. His husband.

And he sleeps.

No dreams. No nightmares.

He sleeps.

[chatonne-rousse]

Through a Different Lens

This incredible work of art by @lilianmorganart crossed my dash last week and has lived rent-free in my head since then. I made it my phone's wallpaper and found myself getting emotional every time I picked up the phone to use it (If that doesn't confirm my stratospheric level of unrepentant Adrienette trash, I don't know what does).

I told @tsuki-chibi about it and we discussed how Adrien would totally swoon over it, too, if it was the lock screen on his phone. And that's how this fic was born.

I hope you enjoy this little relationship study through Alya's eyes as she and Nino share life and love alongside their best friends.

Read it on Ao3 here.

*****

"Last set of the night, dudes and dudettes. We're about to be upstaged big time." Nino points out the bank of windows toward the already-glittering Eiffel Tower before needle meets vinyl and the music starts, soft and undeniably romantic. "Let's wind it down by slowing it down."

A blue balloon flutters to the floor beside Nino's feet as he hops from the DJ platform and winds through a sea of his classmates to his waiting girlfriend. Alya wastes no time wrapping him in her arms and pressing a kiss to his lips, turning the greeting into dancing with the sway of her hips that he matches after a few beats.

"How many songs did you line up?" she murmurs when they finally part.

He smiles and winks at her. "Four. It's about fifteen minutes till fireworks."

"Mmm. Nice."

The back of his shirt is sweaty under Alya's hands, but she doesn't care. The lovely chignon Marinette had pulled her hair into before the party has come a bit undone and she can feel the damp curls at the back of her neck. That's July in Paris for you; even the air conditioning in Le Grand Paris doesn't make much of a difference. Thank goodness for the ceiling fans that make the white and blue and red streamers rustle above their heads.

She hears Nino snort softly near her ear. "Are they magical or something? How do they still look perfect?"

Alya doesn't need to turn to know he's talking about their best friends, but she twists anyway, pressing the opposite cheek to Nino's shoulder instead.

And of course he's right.

She's spent the evening drinking punch and giggling with Marinette, shimmying and whooping with her in a happy little clump with Nino and Adrien, making the rounds of friends and food and fun over the past few hours. Marinette and Adrien have, too, but somehow the only sign that it's the end of the evening is that Adrien has loosened his tie.

Marinette's hair falls across her shoulders in the same soft cascade Alya styled it into hours ago. Her gauzy white dress drapes better on her figure than it did on the mannequin in her bedroom. Even the corsage Adrien had presented to her when the girls descended the stairs into Marinette's living room, a stunning red rose in full bloom, sits perfectly on her slim wrist, not a petal out of place. Her best friend really does look like she's limned in magic.

But perhaps that's because of the strong hand splayed at Marinette's waist, pressing her ever closer to her dance partner, or Adrien's cheek at her temple, his blond halo a perfect contrast to her deep raven hair. Maybe it's whatever he's just whispered in her ear that makes her smile up at him, a wide grin of exasperated fondness lighting her face before gentling after a moment into an expression of softest serenity.

Alya's first thought is that it's like the bright and beautiful partnership of the full moon reflecting the sun. But that isn't quite right, because her best friend glows from within, providing her own light to meet Adrien's, radiant and returned in equal measure.

Just how they got to this point remains as baffling to Alya now as it was a year ago when her friends finally put themselves and everyone around them out of their misery and started dating. The blushes continued and the occasional shy stammers never quite disappeared, but she'd watched them blossom together like a spring garden before her eyes, though what she'd been sure would be daffodils had bloomed into beautiful irises instead.

Suddenly Mr. Sunshine had gleamed brighter than ever, his giddy joy nearly uncontainable. So many puns. So much laughter. The former would be unbearable were it not for the latter, which always seemed to brighten Nino's eyes as well, a welcome side effect.

And oh, her best friend had come alive. It was more than having someone to love and love her in return. Alya knew from the day they met that love was second nature to Marinette. It practically shone from her pores.

But this was different - a touch more boldness, a blaze of fierce protectiveness in her eyes, an ability to read and respond to Adrien's emotions in just the way he needed, just when he needed it. How did she know to do that? How had this easy familiarity grown between them so quickly, not a tender new sapling but already an unshakeable oak?

She knows the truth is deeper than what she's been able to wrangle from Marinette, but Alya learned long ago that her best friend held those cards too close to ever let her get a peek. But she sure had tried at the beginning.

"You can tell me, girl! I'm so happy for you, but I don't get it! What happened?"

Alya wheedled, needled, begged.

Marinette just smiled and finished watering her roses before leaning against the railing of her terrace.

"I did tell you! Adrien and I talked. We were honest with each other. That's it." She shrugged one shoulder before her smile turned sly and she bumped her hip into her best friend's. "You know, we can't all find love by getting trapped in a panther cage by a superhero. Not every relationship has an epic origin story."

"Damn right! Seriously, though, I can tell there's more to this. There are deets you're not sharing, and your bestie needs those deets!"

"I don't know what to tell you, Als. I just...saw him. All of him."

Alya just barely resisted the urge to make the obvious joke.

"Mari. My love. My best friend in the world. What could you possibly see now that you haven't seen in the past two years of crushing, staring, memorizing, obsessing, and finally just getting over your fears and becoming real, actual friends with him?" She ticked off each point on her fingers, ending with a grip on her pinky and an imploring look she hoped would coax a detail or two from her all-too-cagey best friend. "If you can't throw a bone to your BFF, think of me as the coordinator of Operation Secret Garden and its many, many, many side missions. At least tell me one thing about Sunshine that I don't know, something you didn't know before, either."

Silence fell over them like a blanket. Just when it started to feel stifling and itchy, Marinette spoke.

"He's the bravest person I know," she said quietly, gaze straying across the rooftop horizon.

Alya thought of the myriad times she'd watched Adrien run away in the direction of his house as she herself had run toward danger in the name of journalism and morbid curiosity. He was sweet and exceedingly kind, but she'd never considered him a bastion of courage. Though of course there had to be lots of things she didn't know, details of life at home beyond the isolated loneliness they were all aware of, things that hadn't occurred to her that her best friend now saw through a lens of love and not just friendly compassion. If the reason they were already so close was because Adrien was able to share the difficult parts of his life that he didn't even share with Nino? Well, Alya could understand and respect that.

She reached out and covered Marinette's hand in hers. "His dad is kind of the worst, isn't he?"

"Oh my gosh, you have no idea. The absolute worst. The other day..."

Listening to Marinette that day, Alya had decided that if her friends were happy, she'd be happy right along with them. The details would come in time.

They'd taken silly selfies in Marinette's mirror as they got ready earlier this evening. They'd posed for portraits in the Dupain-Chengs' doorway as though this was a gala event and not a Quatorze Juillet party that Chloé insisted was fancy dress, and snapped shots of their BFF squad together all evening. So without thinking, Alya reaches for her phone - her dress is a Marinette original, of course it has pockets - to document exactly how besotted their preternaturally beautiful best friends are. She grabs three photos in quick succession, thankful for her state-of-the-art camera as she smiles at how it captures the play of light and shadow across their matching white.

"Paparazzi," Nino fake coughs in her hair.

Alya grabs his butt with her free hand in retaliation, and they both laugh.

Marinette and Adrien sway together in a loose approximation of a dance, eyes closed, just barely turning in place, lost in each other. When Adrien reaches for Marinette's hand on his shoulder, Alya has to let go of her boyfriend completely to set her camera to burst mode, but laid-back, ever-patient Nino just huffs a laugh and holds her waist tighter. It's all worth it when she's able to capture the moment Adrien brings Marinette's hand to his lips and presses a series of slow, reverent kisses to her knuckles. She snaps one more photo after he's tucked their clasped hands beneath his chin and settled her against his shoulder.

Alya turns in the circle of Nino's arms and gleefully scrolls through the vast number of pictures she's just taken, pausing near the center of the burst shots and cooing with delight at the treasure she finds. "Oh my god, Nino, look." She shoves the phone under his nose and his eyes cross trying to focus on it.

"Damn. They're too pretty to be real."

She snorts. "Truth. Seriously, though. Have you ever seen two people more in love? I'd say it's gross, but I could also cry just looking at them."

Still smiling, Nino pulls their hips together again and sets them in a slow spin, punctuating the beat with his fingers at the small of her back. Alya pockets her phone and cuddles up to him, grinning into his chest when he speaks quietly for her ears only.

"You know I love you just as much, right? I'm not a model, and um, I'm not as...gooey. But—"

He's cut off when Alya presses her lips to his to stop him.

"You're just the right amount of gooey, mister, and I don't need a model when I've already snagged the hottest guy I've ever met." She delights in his blushing cheeks as she kisses him again. "And yes, I know you do...I love you, too. Thank god it's not a competition, or we'd be losing."

"Naaah," Nino drawls softly, hugging her close. "I've already won."

Alya just closes her eyes and hides her grin in his shoulder, letting him spin them again as the music swells.

*****

Packed on the balcony and ready for the fireworks to start, she and Marinette are giggling over the photos on her camera roll from the course of the evening.

"I don't want to think about how much you pay for cloud storage, Als. You know you have a problem, right?"

Nino can't help his surprised laugh, but has the good sense to bite his lip and look away. Alya nudges him in the side and rolls her eyes good-naturedly. Scrolling through toward the latest photos, she stops on one in particular and flips the screen toward her best friend.

"Bet you're glad I got this one, eh, Mademoiselle Judgy Pants?"

Alya knows she's scored a direct hit when Marinette's eyes widen and her cheeks pinken visibly even in the ambient light of the city. In the same moment, Adrien breathes an "ooooh" in reverent awe from over her shoulder as he stares at the glowing phone screen. Impossibly, the look on his face as he takes in the image is even more tender than it is in the photo itself.

Marinette turns to press her burning cheeks to his chest and he wraps her in his arms, props his chin on her head and mouths, "Send me that, please," to Alya, gesturing vaguely from her phone to his pocket.

Request received loud and clear, she grins and gives him a quick salute.

When fireworks finally fill the Parisian sky, Alya attempts a few action shots, though she's well aware that fireworks photos rarely turn out. Next, she grabs a great picture of Nino with the lights reflected in his glasses that immediately gets posted on Instagram.

And when Marinette stands on her tiptoes, wraps her arms around Adrien's shoulders, and kisses him breathless, well, Alya can't resist snapping one last photo of her friends. Adrien's hair positively gleams in the ephemeral glow of the bright red firework that bathes flushed cheeks and white fabric in a dreamy, perfect pink. This one is sent straight to her best friend; she looks forward to the keysmash text of embarrassed delight she'll receive from Marinette later.

Nino's hand slides around her waist to pull her close and she snuggles into his side, stowing her phone in her pocket and simply enjoying the moment.

*****

"Babe," Nino whispers under his breath, accompanied by a nudge of his knee against Alya's under the cafe table, "he's doing it again."

Sure enough, Adrien is gazing down at his phone. It's not even unlocked yet - he's just looking at his lock screen, waking it up each time it fades back to sleep.

"I know. That's why I'm looking up the movie time. We'd miss it completely if we left it to Sunshine."

"This is technically your fault. You do know that, right?"

Alya shrugs. "No regrets."

Marinette returns to the table, picking her purse off the back of her chair and lifting the strap over her head to settle in its perennial position across her torso. Instead of sitting down, she wraps her arms around Adrien's chest from behind and leans down to kiss his cheek. "Did you figure out if we can make it to the movie?"

The question is clearly directed at Adrien, who was supposed to be looking up the cinema schedule, but he's already pocketed his phone and turned his head to nuzzle into her hair.

Okay, Alya may have some regrets.

It's been months since she took the now-famous photo and sent it to him. To no one's surprise, it became his lock screen wallpaper immediately. It also became a distraction.

Because Adrien melts every time he looks at his phone.

No one can truly decide if it's exasperating or endearing, but there are classmates and friends in both camps.

Nino begged him to change it back to the picture of the two of them together, if only to shorten the time between sending his best friend a text and receiving one in return. Alya is nearly at her limit for heart eyes, but she's still the captain of Team Endearing. She did take the picture, after all.

Max programmed Markov to recognize each time Adrien reached for his phone and the time it took for him to unlock it and use it. Markov has perfected the algorithm over time and now has a saved log of each occurrence down to the millisecond. There's no real reason to track this data besides curiosity, but it does help Markov refine his processes, so Max has kept it up. It is vaguely fascinating, though he does feel that it's a terrible use of Adrien's limited free time.

Nathaniel illustrated a cartoon rendition of Adrien, phone in his hand and literal hearts in his eyes. Alya offered him €10 for it, but Adrien himself came in at €20 and now it sits on his desk at home.

Once, Adrien spent so much time gazing at the lock screen that he never did answer his ringing phone. Of course it was Nathalie calling, and of course his father grounded him when he got home.

(Neither Marinette nor Adrien seemed as bothered by those two weeks as everyone had anticipated. That mystery remains unsolved.)

When she thinks about it, Alya decides there are worse things than Adrien loving Marinette so much that he has an emotional reaction to seeing the evidence through a different lens.

Alya just slips her phone in her purse and corrals her boyfriend and their best friends. They have a movie to get to and they only have twenty-five minutes.

*****

In time, the picture has found a place on the wall in Marinette and Adrien's apartment - printed on premium photo paper, lovingly matted and framed. No one would have expected any less.

And it has always made Adrien smile, sometimes when nearly nothing else could.

*****

Several years, several revelations, and enough trauma to last a lifetime have led them all to this moment, on this day that shines with as much joy and light and love as they can muster. It's what a day like this deserves, after all.

With too much behind them to call it a beginning and too much hope for the future ahead to call it an ending, Alya decides she's just watched her best friends walk through a door they'd unlocked years ago and finally found the right time to step through together. The path hasn't changed, paved in hurt and heartache and the kind of helpless hope a person chooses when an abyss yawns below and there are no other ropes to grab. But it has always been lit by the glow of an almost unfathomable love, and that's where healing begins, grows, and flourishes.

So here they sit, surrounded by friends and family, in the same room where the four of them had danced all those years ago on a hot July evening. A towering croquembouche waits in the corner and a table full of photos and memories is on display along one wall; that heart-melting photo of the happy couple as lovestruck teenagers has pride of place in the center.

Clad again in radiant white, Marinette is the perfect picture of a blushing bride, and her groom has been unsurprisingly entranced all day. Alya isn't sure Adrien has stopped smiling since they first saw him this morning, and she and Nino are enjoying every moment of it.

Part of the brilliance shining in his grin is natural, springing from a heart so innately kind that it has countered evil and wielded destruction, yet still beats with compassion. But she and Nino know, better than anyone else, that the Adrien in front of them is a previously-shattered vase mended in gold, stronger and more beautiful in the broken places, and some of his gleam is reflected from those gilded seams.

When it's Alya's turn to toast, Nino helps her to her feet with a smile and hands her the mic before sitting back down beside her. She starts with a story only a best friend could get away with telling, bolstered by the laughter of the guests around her and the grins of the bride and groom. She has a toast carefully planned and memorized, but for all her preparedness, Alya also knows how to improvise. When her gaze sweeps across the picture gallery on the table and the faces of two of the people she loves most, she veers off course but finds her words with confidence.

"I've taken a lot of photos in my life - silly, scary, funny, serious, everything in between. Many of those photos have featured many of you here today. I know I caused my saint of a best friend here a lot of undeserved stress by taking a vast majority of my life's photos in places where I shouldn't have been."

She pauses when a laugh ripples through the room and Marinette shakes her head even as her watery eyes beam back at her. "But I was in just the right place when I took that one." She gestures toward the framed picture on the table, sparkling cider sloshing gently in her champagne flute. "Because the right place for both of us—" she reaches a hand back toward Nino blindly, finding and squeezing his shoulder, "has always been next to you, the most ludicrously attractive, kindest, bravest, best people we know."

Alya takes a deep breath that only shakes a little bit on the exhale. "I'm so—" she blinks and swallows around the lump in her throat. Damn hormones! "I'm so lucky to know you, to love you, and to have been part of your lives and your love story all these years. That's why I wish you nothing less than a lifetime of that kind of love," she inclines her head toward the photo on the table again, "that kind of tenderness and devotion. No one deserves it more than you two, and no one will be happier than Nino and I will to be right there beside you on the journey. So...cheers to the prettiest lovebirds I know, Marinette and Adrien!"

Champagne flutes clink amidst applause and hugs and sniffles.

Her best friends grin at her before turning the same soft gaze toward each other again, just like the picture she took all those years ago that turned Adrien to goo each time he looked at it.

Alya knows now, of course, what she didn't understand back then - that in the same way their wedding today was more than just a beginning, so were those early days of soft looks and fierce devotion that seemed to transcend the blush of new romance. Unbeknownst to their friends, they'd had an ironclad partnership and years of trust in place already. Open eyes and honesty allowed the confluence of several different kinds of love, and it only made sense that the resulting alloy stood stalwart and shone dazzling-bright.

Well, it didn't make sense then, but it certainly does now, even if the luster sparkles through a patina of nicks and dents. After all, even the strongest steel and the brightest gold are refined by fire.

Nino hands her a tissue and presses his palm to her back as she settles in her seat again.

When ever-romantic Adrien reaches for his bride's hand to press gentle kisses across the back of her fingers, Alya can't resist grabbing her phone from the table beside her bread plate. They're a little older but just as beautiful and even more in love, and the photo she snaps captures that perfectly. She smiles down at her phone, pleased, before locking the screen and twisting a little in her seat to place it back on the table, face down.

Alya gets comfortable, rests her head on her husband's shoulder, and simply enjoys the moment.

[tmp-jatp]

so it’s encouragement day or something i think

most of you guys have already heard this from me but i’m gonna do it again, this time in public, so that you can hear it again and everyone can know how much i love you. this is by no means an exhaustive list so if you don’t see yourself on here please know it’s not because i don’t like you, just bc i’m human and can’t remember everyone all the time. but for those i am naming today, i want to share with you what i think your niche in the fandom is as a writer, or at least what i know you best for. you all do all of these things but to call out one unique thing for each of you, this is what i offer as my gift

first off: @pink-flame k. my friend. my bestie here in jatp land. you already know all this, like i said, but girl. fliomea was the first jatp fic i ever read and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. i remember reading every single chapter of wfw each night it came out and it was the highlight of my day, every day. and then the chapters spread out further bc fair, daily 4k chaps is an insane schedule, and each new chapter was a surprise present. the way i say to everyone is this: you write the epics. that’s your signature here in the fandom. that’s your “thing”. you create entire worlds and it feels like i’ve opened my eyes again i’m reading a ya novel. even when it’s not an epic, like the bodyguard au, it’s still so good. fliomea and wfw are two of the most iconic fics in this fandom and two of the most memorable fics i’ve ever read in my life. hello?? beatrice, anyone? queenie? sammi? josie? wonderland??? iconic. one of the other “things”, i wanna note, is how much you write bobby, and you write him so well. you’ve made all of us love bobby, and you’ve made me love you.

@thedeathdeelers immy i love you so much. you’re my other jatp bestie. i love saying good morning to you at midnight and then again at nine. you have so many wonderful ideas for stories, and you make the best headcanons. that is your “thing” in the fandom. also the way that you’re always shouting about soulmates. i couldn’t imagine this place without you here, and we’d all be worse off if you weren’t. your reggie and ray drabbles bring fresh air to my lungs. whenever i see that someone’s reblogged something from you, i go through the notes to see your rb so i can read all your tags, because i can’t get enough of what you have to say. your headcanons are basically canon to me. you’re my number one rubber duck and i love you. don’t stop screaming about juke. ever. (<3)

@pearlcaddy your “thing” is the pining. also your dialogue. that’s pretty clear to all of us, i think. but i love the way that you put the jatp cast of characters into places that you’ve lived. you use what you know to write stories that feel so rich and alive. wizarding world, usc, ireland. these settings come to life and you solder the plot and characters’ emotions to the settings in a way that makes them unable to exist without one another. not only your worldbuilding and your pining, but your dialogue is stellar. (haha i didn’t even mean to do that) there’s always something that sticks out and has stayed with me, and i’ve told you before, but now for the benefit of anyone else reading this: remember “cold or frozen”. remember “string obedient woman”. remember “julie stellar molina”. you write some of the best alex and reggie, too. you've made me laugh, you've made me cry, you’ve made me start listening to jukebox the ghost, i love you.

@blush-and-books chloe you’re the one i spoke to most recently but i wanna say basically the same things (and more) again for the world to hear how much i love your stories. while pearlcaddy’s settings feel huge and awesome, your settings all feel small, like home. everything you write, i can feel. i’m there. i’m sitting in the auditorium while auditions for the music man begin, feeling the excitement for the new show and smelling that smell of the seats and the walls and the air. i’m standing on the loose gravel in the alley out to the side of the orpheum with the buzzing red light of the “ex-t” sign glowing up there and it feels humid. i’m in the library at my own table, trying hard to hide my own smile as i watch the looks being passed between the boy reading to the kids and that girl who is clearly not studying even though she’s trying to make it seem so. i’m in julie’s room and i see the ring on her finger and the fanny pack on the chair and the leather jacket hanging in the closet. your “thing” is that you have such a unique attention to detail that captures the scene and the feeling of what’s going on impeccably. perfectly. something about your way to capture the literal air of every room, i can feel it, i can smell it. i can’t get enough of what you write, and i love you.

@lydias--stiles ophelia i’ve never said a word to you ever except for in the ao3 comment box and that changes today. you’re so good at fluff but you’re right when you say that angst is where you excel. i haven’t read as much of your stuff as i’d like to have (read: all of it), but that’s definitely gonna change in the future. calm in the storm is such a gritty story but it also feels so real. you don’t hold back. i don’t know your work well enough to definitively say what your “thing” is. i’d like to, though. all i know is that today i was thinking of the way that soul and love tasted purple at anima and i went back to that fic to ctrl-f for every time you said “purple”. your stuff might not be on the front of my mind all the time, but it’s there, in my memory, and it won’t ever leave. 

@bluefirewrites your stuff is good as canon to me, even though most of it is au. like ophelia, i don’t know your “thing” because i don’t know your writing well enough to say, even though i’ve read most of it. stupid cupid and doodled shoes have me on the edge of my seat right now and i love reading every new chapter. your juke’s dynamics are so uniquely you and even though they’re different across your fics, your julie and your luke are so perfect and somehow always the same, but different. do you feel me? probably not. i think i’m trying to say i love the way you interpret the characters. they feel canon, but also they don’t in the best way possible. exmas is another iconic fic, and knock three times, too. you do so many things so well that i can’t pick just one that stands out above the rest.

i love so many of you guys that i haven’t listed here. so many fics i read i just wanna shower you with all the love but it’s late so i go to sleep and i leave the tab open so in the morning i can comment but by then i’ve lost most of the specific things i wanted to say. so know that i’m always trying to be profound and all that stuff like i tried to be here, but sometimes i fail terribly. happy jatp appreciation day or whatever today is, everyone.

[texastheband]

Texas V Wu-Tang Clan

Interview by Steven Daly Photography by Peter Robathan Taken from The Face - December 1997

It’s the pop story of ’97, the most unlikely end to a weird year: TEXAS collaborating with the WU-TANG CLAN. First, a Scottish rock band on the verge of slip-sliding away into a tasteful obscurity was reborn via a slew of hit singles and a glut of stylish imagery. Now, in New York, their Brit-cool meets hip hop in a mutually beneficial deal. For everyone concerned, it’s all they need to get on…

Sharleen Spiteri took the call in her front hall. "Yo, Peach," growled a strange voice over transatlantic wires. The gentleman caller was none other than Ol’ Dirty Bastard, court jester of New York hip hop dynasty the Wu-Tang Clan. Apparently Mr Bastard fancied working with Spiteri and her band, Texas. It all started in August, with one of Texas’ managers discussing Land Rovers with someone called Power in New York, who turned out to be the manager of the Clan. A video of Texas’ "Say What You Want" was dispatched, and prodigiously gifted Wu-Tang chieftain RZA signed on to do a re-recording of the single for a prospective single project. Original rapper OI’ Dirty Bastard was replaced by Method Man, the next Clan member with a solo album scheduled.

The hook-up with the Wu-Tang Clan is the perfect climax to a year that’s seen Texas rise from a tumbleweed-strewn grave to grab the pole position in British Pop. A year in which Glasgow’s Sharleen Spiteri has stared out, defiantly remade and remodelled, from every magazine cover and TV show. From a media point-of-view, Texas’ – Spiteri’s – reconfiguring of music and fashion has been the year’s dream ticket. Ever since Bryan Ferry took the innovative step of getting Anthony Proce in to design Roxy Music’s wardrobe in the early seventies, successive phases of pop’s history have thrown up performers who use the fashion photographers, stylists and designers du jour to present The Package. It is these performers who most often capture the youthful mood of their time: that’s why you can see the vulgar glamour of the Seventies in the cut of Ferry’s sleazy lounge-lizard jib; the naive aspiration of the early Eighties in the box-suited and pixie-booted "style" of Spandau Ballet; and the onset of the late-Eighties mixing and matching of different cultures in Neneh Cherry’s Buffalo Stance. When we look back at 1997 we will see in Texas’ sound and vision a new mix, all to do with living the high life but keeping it real. Catwalk and street, the designer and the understated, Prada and Nike; the slick and the cred. Ten years’ gone Scottish guitar outfit and this season’s bright young labels (in both senses). The setting too, has helped. Fashion, again, is big cultural business. Clever pop stars (Goldie! Liam!) want to be seen by the runway and hanging out at fashion parties; young designers yearn to be visible on the stage or the podium (viz. Antonio Berardi’s autumn London show at Brixton Academy). Factor in a paucity of self-motivating, button-pressing, songwriting, photogenic women in British music, and you have a ready-made media phenomenon.

Sharleen Spiteri is holding court at a New York restaurant with a gang of Calvin Klein employees who’ve just accompanied her to the VH-1 Fashion Awards. The annual ceremony is a mutually convenient arrangement, a TV cluster-fuck where the music and fashion industries exchange credibility and cachet. Texas are contemplating just such an exchange themselves, having recently been given the OK by CK. (Tommy Hilfiger has also made overtures.) Spiteri is to have an audience with Klein himself; she’s already been bribed with a trunkful of CK merch, including the streaked black dress – "inspired by [the artist] Brice Marden" – she’s wearing tonight.

Someone suggests that Texas would be perfect for Fashionably Loud, an MTV special where models strut on stage as the hot bands of the moment rock out. "Forget it," quips Spiteri. "there’s only room for one star up where we play." If Spiteri were to join Kate Moss and Christy Turlington on the Calvin Klein payroll it would not, as she sees it, detract from Texas’ music. "Fashion and music have always been connected, and now more than ever," says the singer. "You couldn’t have one without the other. If there’s shit music at a runway show it just doesn’t work."

Meanwhile, there’s the songs. With "White On Blonde", Texas’ fourth album, the music takes care of itself. Radio-friendly unit-shifters abound, helped on their way by producers Mike hedges (manic Street Preachers) and Manchester’s Grand Central. The singles have been, in sequence, nu-soul fresh ("Say What You Want"), springy pop ("Halo"), Motown-sunny ("Black Eyed Boy") and winter warming ("Put Your Arms Around Me"). The B-side remixers have covered all bases in these dance-savvy late Nineties, ranging from of-the-moment talents like the Ballistic Brothers and Trailerman to old stand-bys like Andy Weatherall and 808 State. Texas, patently, lost their dancefloor cherry by cherry-picking the brightest and the best.

Of course, while the singles have all enjoyed heavy airplay and gone top ten, and while "White on Blonde" has sold two million copies (more than its two predecessors put together), the remixes haven’t necessarily helped those sales. As the go-faster stripes of credibility on the solid saloon car, though, they’ve still been essential to The Package; all part of the thoroughly modern mix.

So now, the Wu-Tang Clan. To many, though, this latest development could smack of opportunism. One group are renegade roughnecks who mythologise themselves in epic hip hop anthems; the others are fastidiously tasteful Scots with an eye for perfectly modern consensus-pop. The Wu-Tang Clan are certainly among the aesthetically correct names that Texas always drop in interviews, but can there possibly be a legitimate connection between the two? "A lot of the Wu-Tang backing tracks have the feel of soundtracks, and we’ve always gone for a cinematic sound," says Johnny McElhone, Spiteri’s genial songwriting partner and bass player. "And I’ve always liked Al Green, and they use a lot of Willie Mitchell, Al Green, that whole Hi Records sound, and make it modern. And Marvin Gaye: Method Man, in that duet with Mary J. Blige, used ‘You’re All I Need To Get By."

Having dominated the charts in Europe this year, Texas are now, logically, turning their attention to America: the country that has always inspired them, whether it’s the dusty, pseudo-roots sound of their first three albums, or the iconic-soul and post-soul sounds of Memphis and Staten Island that they give props to now; the place where success has always eluded them. Yet given the commercial momentum of "White on Blonde", their approach to the Wu-Tang Clan is surely not driven by desperation. They are, then, viewing the collaboration with a combination of fan-like wonder and disbelief.

"Method Man is just a wicked, wicked rapper," enthuses Spiteri. "I can’t wait to hear the combination of my vocals and his – I‘m really excited about it. I have a kind of sweet, virginal thing going on, and he’s got this dirty sex vibe. It could be the perfect marriage."

It’s a Saturday night in Manhattan, and ten storeys above Times Square, Sharleen Spiteri sits on the floor of a recording studio, tinkering with her latest high-tech gadget, a Philips computer about the size of a TV remote. Across the street, three ten-foot high electronic ticker-tapes provide testimony to Monday’s stockmarket crash. No matter how much Spiteri plays with her new toy, there’s still that nagging worry: what if the Wu-Tang Clan won’t show? They’re supposed to be on a tour bus returning from a gig in Washington, DC today, but these, after all, are the original masters of disaster. The crew whose normal modus operandi seems to be chaos. The band that recently quit a national tour because only five of the nine members could be relied upon to turn up.

The studio has been booked since six, so Spiteri and McElhone breathe signs of relief when RZA and his posse finally roll in around ten. Among the dozen-strong throng, they’re surprised to see Wu-Tang member Reakwon, a stout fellow with a Mercedes cap and a Fort Knox of gold dental work. Several cigars are hollowed out, their contents replaced with weed; bottles of Cristal champagne and Hennessy are passed around as the air grows thick with smoke.

Half an hour later, method Man makes his entrance. Stooped over, he looks deceptively short – maybe only six-four in his Hilfiger fleece hoodie. "I’m John-John," he tells Sharleen, referring to his alias, Johnny Blaze. Pulling out the big blunt from behind his ear, Method Man considers the job at hand. "She got a nice voice," drawls the laconic giant. "This band not exactly my type of listening material, but they going in the right direction, if you ask me, by fucking with us. I’m waiting for RZA to put down a beat, hear how the vocals sound melded with the track before I come with ideas. I’m one of those guys."

As his friends get on with the serious business of partying, RZA goes to work, feeding a succession of sample-laden discs into a sampler. He has a diffident, genius-at-work charisma about him as he sits with his back to the room, keyboard at side. With a flick of his prodigiously ringed hand he reaches out and conjures up a brutal bassline. The speakers pulse violently. RZA takes a sip of Hennessy. "Record this, right here!" he tells the bewildered-looking engineer.

RZA has decided to dispense with the original master tapes, shipped over from Britain. He wants a completely new version, recorded rough-and-ready without the standard safety net of a time-code. This convention-trashing, wildstyle approach to recording elicits some consternation from the studio’s engineer, a central-casting white guy who warns RZA: "You won’t be able to synch to this, you know." RZA waves him away and turns to Johnny McElhone. "This riff is in E," McElhone tells RZA. "Maybe we should try it in the original key, D." "What are you saying? I understand no keys," says RZA. "You want me to sing the whole song straight through?" asks Spiteri, trying to divine RZA’s intentions. He orders the lights turned down, and offers Sharleen some herbal inspiration. She politely declines and walks to the vocal booth. "What’s her name? Sheree?" asks RZA as Spiteri warms up. The engineer wants to know if he should maybe start recording. "Always record everything!" exclaims RZA. "Ready, get set, go! Play and record, play and record!" Spiteri rattles of a perfect new version of ‘Say What You Want’, grooving along by herself and passionately acting out every word, even the ones borrowed from Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing". Now it’s time for Method Man, who at this point is so herbally inspired that he can hardly open his eyes. He jumps up and lopes around the main room, running off his newly written rhymes and clutching a bottle of Crystal. Method walks up to the mic and opens his mouth, and that treacly baritone sets a typically morbid scene: "Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest…" The Texas duo just look at each other, shaking their heads in awe.

The hours and the rhymes pass. Around 6am, things are starting to get a little weird. As Method Man snoozes on the sofa, RZA bounces off the walls, dancing like a dervish. "These are the new rhythms," he yells. "These are the new dances from Africa. I learned them when I was there last week!" McElhone and Spiteri crack up. The engineer probably wishes he were in Africa right now; he further draws RZA’s ire by making a mistake as he runs off some rough cassettes. As everyone says goodbye, RZA decides that he’s taking the studio’s sampler – he already has two of the $3,500 items, but at this point it’s all about the wind-up. The engineer, though, having last seen the end of his tether a good few hours ago, has had enough. By the commencement of office hours that morning, the rest of the session will have been cancelled and the band and Clan banned from this studio.

After a few frantic phone calls later that morning, a studio is found that is prepared to let the Wu-Tang Clan through the door. With one precondition: only two of them are allowed in the studio. Now it’s midnight, and four-fifths of Texas watch a trio of RZA-hired session men go through their paces. They shift effortlessly through a handful of soul and funk styles, and the Scots mutter approval. These are the kind of players that are so good they can get away with wearing questionable knitwear.

Soon, another couple of Wus pop in. Then another couple. In the control room RZA orders up a bottle of Hennessy and talks about hearing "Say What You Want" for the first time. "I didn’t fully understand the sound of it," admits the soft-spoken maestro. "It was obviously a popular song, a radio song, and my sound is the total opposite. But I thought that the artist had something, so I thought: "Let’s take her and rock her to my beat."

"Sweet soul, that’s what her stuff sounded like to me. Smooth. It reminded me of the Seventies: in those days, they did songs that would fit anywhere. If you went to a club getting high it would fit; if you was cleaning up your house it would fit. That’s when you’ve got a real great song right there." Whether or not "Say What You Want" is a great song, it’s not quite coming together tonight. Despite the best offers of the studio management, a full complement of Wu posse members ended up in the house. As the night drags on the trio of musicians don’t get with the track, and by eight the following morning there is little in the way of usable material. But everyone stays upbeat. Texas will work on the track in Glasgow, and send it back to RZA to finish, along with a new song based around one of his samples. After vowing to stay in touch, everyone stumbles out into the Manhattan morning light together, the Scots with an American name, and the Clan without a tartan.

From a distance the collaboration will continue. But it’s only a different kind of distance. Culturally, creatively, the gap between the Wu-Tang Clan and the old twang clan is considerable. Yet so it goes, this cross-cultural exchange programme. Whether it’s The Stones copping blues movies, Bowie digging the Philadelphia Sound, Lisa Stansfield getting soulful with Barry White, Sting getting doleful with Puff Daddy… Whether it’s Todd Terry reviving Everything But The Girl or Armand Van Helden making Sneaker Pimps the unwitting jumpstarters of speed garage, naked opportunism and risk-taking innovation have always been confused. Now, with genres blurred and tricknology proceeding apace, anything is possible and everything is permitted. Perhaps it is this, the sheer unlikeliness, that makes the Texas-Wu experiment the most illuminating collaboration of the year. Whether it works or not.

"If you play her stuff in a club, everybody be dancing, but it’s a clear room and you can see everybody’s face," RZA reflects on the departing Sharleen Spiteri. "But if you play mine, the room is smoky." And perhaps it is here, among the clouds and the clarity, between the smoke and the mirrors, where a new sound and vision lies.

Text originally posted on texasindemand.com

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Chapter 234 Translation Notes

I haven’t posted a note for many chapters, but this chapter dropped so many reveal-bombs I just can’t i just can’t aaaaaaaargh gurglegurgle

/regain composure /why am I listening to “Send In The Clowns” on loop while posting this?

Ahem. So, in short, this chapter is super LIT, but also a headache to translate. As with all reveal-heavy chapters, there is no knowing how disastrous the ramifications of one tiny misinterpretation can be on future reveals. Whoops! 

So let��s peruse the story page-by-page, word-by-word, unraveling the story plus a little ramble on the Japanese language. 

Warning: this post is incredibly long

(You can skip to 5 for my wild theory on The Pillar)

1. Gawd, I’ve always hated these opening captions T T

Because they always give me this feeling of I think I kinda understand what this means but I don’t know how to translate this so it makes sense!  

紐解かれるかつての別離（わかれ）

I think I spent time on this one sentence even more than the rest of the chapter. Despite it being the first thing on the first page, this is honestly the last thing I translated this chapter.

Word-by-word, 紐解かれる (himo-tokareru) is the passive form of the verb 紐解く (himo-toku), which by definition means:

1) Unbinding and opening a new book 2) Unraveling (i.e. memories, history, the truth, etc.) 3) A flower blooming

紐 (himo) and 解く(toku) are also actually two separate words used normally in daily life. The first one means “rope” and the second means “to solve, to untie, to unravel etc.”

So, in essence, this word refers to something hidden, a secret being revealed. No surprises here, since we’re talking about D.Gray-Man. 

かつての (katsute no) means “Once”, “Used to be” whereas 別離 (betsuri) means “parting, separation” but the furigana indicates must be read as わかれ (wakare) for some reason, and means farewell or separation as well. 

I take it that as Mana and Nea were once separated by death, but now Nea has returned to Mana as he vowed to, the “farewell” is no more; it just used to be a farewell.

So now that we have all the pieces...

HOW ON EARTH DO I TRANSLATE THIS !!!???

You saw how it turned out above. To be frank, I’m still not satisfied with it, but as my period cramps are killing me and I’m literally typing this to distract my mind from it because I can’t sleep yet with this pain, and my brain is out of ideas, as always...

I’ll leave it to you guys to interpret freely!

2. Nea’s last words 

Just when I thought I’d skip that troubling caption and start on the dialogue right away, manga-kun messes with me again! Who was Nea talking to? In the background, Nea is reaching up to Mana while decaying away. However, on the next page, turns out it is Cross recalling those words. 

So I walked over to my bookshelf and picked up DGM volume 17 and 22.

In volume 17, in their last meeting before Cross disappeared, Cross told Allen that Nea promised him that he’d return to Mana if Cross kept watch over Mana. 

In volume 22, however, Road reveals to Allen that “Don’t stop, keep walking.” were Nea’s parting words to Mana.

Um...so...which is it, exactly?

So if context doesn’t help, then should we turn back to the literal word? If it were some other language I might’ve said great idea! But this is Japanese; a douchebag of a language that assumes all parties must be native speakers and privy to the conversation beforehand. And thus omits subject, verbs, and objects whenever it pleases to screw foreign learners and outsiders alike. 

Why, Nea’s sentence has no subject and object!

まってろ。必ずマナの元に行く。「アレン」が目印だ。 それまでは立ち止まるな。 

Literally this says “Keep waiting/Just you wait. (I will) definitely go to where Mana is. ‘Allen’ is the sign. Until then, don’t stand still.” 

While Nea using Mana’s name might imply that Nea’s not talking to Mana, but to someone else, otherwise he would’ve used “you/your”. But in Japanese, usually people will refer to their convo partner by name as well, i.e. Lenalee and Allen refer to everyone by name instead of “you”. This is considered neutral and politer than the textbook pronoun “anata” (which is kinda condescending actually...so why do they still keep it in the textbooks!?). 

In case you’re not that close with the person you’re talking to, and not sure which pronoun you should use, using their name is the safest bet to avoid offending them. (Don’t go calling your client omae, of course lol!)

So, back to Nea, going by this rule, he also could’ve been talking to Mana himself as well. See? Curse you, nihongo!!! 

Anyway, Nea didn’t talk to Mana/Earl that way when they met in recent(?  I dunno, my sense of time is already warped from too many hiatuses and hopeless waiting) chapters; Nea refers to Mana using the pronoun “anta” which is the shorter, more casual form of “anata”. And judging from his overall language, he’s not that polite or soft-spoken either, so the possibility is lower. 

Also it’s kinda weird to tell someone who’s sitting right in front of you that you’ll “go to” where he is.

So, using my spidey sense plus all things considered, I finally concluded that since it’s Cross’ flashback, Nea was talking to Cross this time. 

Looking back on this, I don’t know if I’d be able to translate DGM even with 50% accuracy had I not read the series from the start and have the volumes stacked on a bookshelf nearby just in case. Screw you, NIHONGO!

3. Pierrot, Clown, Auguste, Whiteface, Harlequin; What’s the difference?

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is described as a Pierrot whereas Cosimo is a Clown. As I’m not well-versed in clown traditions, I did some Googling and Wikipedia, and learned the art is even more interesting and richer than I once thought:

In this informative blog , it’s explained that while in appearance, the Pierrot and the Clown are almost the same, there is one rule that sets them apart: 

The Pierrot has tear marks under his eyes, whereas the Clown does not.

The Pierrot’s tear marks:

(I just noticed Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker also has tear marks)

The blog is long and detailed and very interesting, but in short, though both the Pierrot and the Clown are supposed to make people laugh by doing foolish things, while the Clown intentionally acts foolish to be laughed at, and can also  joke back at and laugh at the audience as well, the Pierrot will always have to be laughed at and made fun of by the audience. 

Deep down, though the Pierrot is hurt and sad, he must act as if he’s not, to conceal it from the audience. Thus the tear marks indicates a deep, profound sadness.

(*pause to sob for Allen and Joker*)

Back to Mana, we can clearly see he has a tear mark on his right eye. But Cosimo has what looks to be a tear mark and a star under his eyes as well. 

So...aren’t they both Pierrots? Grrrrrrr! DAMMIT HOSHINO!!

Anyways, moving on. I think we remember that back in Allen’s epic showdown with the Earl in Edo, this scene happened:

The Earl compares Allen to the White Clown/Clown Blanc and himself to Auguste. In classic tradition, Blanc and Auguste are often paired together, and it is said that this originates from the pairing of the Pierrot and Harlequin.

No no no obviously I’m not talking about this one lol

Ahem, back to serious-ass clown lore: 

Both Blanc & Auguste and Pierrot & Harlequin are similar in that the former (Blanc and Pierrot) is more sophisticated, stern, serious and melancholic, whereas the latter (Auguste and Harlequin) is the happy, clumsy, grotesque, sometimes rude fool that does the former’s bidding, to comical results. 

In Lost Fragment of Snow, Mana is said to always be smiling and extraordinarily kind, and that he is an enchantingly elegant, beautiful clown, but when he smiles, he always looks as if he is actually crying, dying inside. 

I mean, pretty much everyone has had that moment in their lives, no? 

Okay, back to seriousness, again; Yes, Mana is the ultimate Pierrot, the Whiteface, the Blanc. The sad fool who must always be laughed at by the world. 

And now Allen, who has taken on Mana’s personality, became the melancholic laughingstock of the world himself, constantly being pushed down and trodden on and used, but having no choice but to push on with a smile, hiding his pain deep underneath the white greasepaint.

Cue the music!

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying But I didn't see that the joke was on me. I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

(Bee Gees - I Started A Joke)

4. Great, Cosimo had a hard life too. One more confirmed-dead character I have to cry for!

I hated Cosimo. Still do. Heck, EVERYONE HATES COSIMO. I mean, until now, the guy totally has no redeeming qualities and no justifying reason behind his relentless cruelty.

But in the recent chapters, there are reveals not mentioned in LFS: 

Cosimo was bought and forced to work as an errand boy, like Red, before he somehow crawled his way out and became the circus’s top performer. While drunk, Cosimo would also complain about how he was actually born a noble (this last one is also mentioned in LFS).

Imagine that. Your parents abandoned you for whatever reason (maybe he’s a bastard child?) and you ended up sold to slavery in a circus. After years of being worked to the bone and abused, you struck it big and thought you had it all, then new guy waltzes in with his stupid dog and takes your spotlight. 

Heck, you don’t even have to live such a rotten life to feel bitter. In Toy Story, even brave and fair Sheriff Woody was reduced to a jealous wreck in the face of Buzz Lightyear stealing Andy’s attention from him, wasn’t he? And I think we can all relate to that. Most of us have been jealous of someone before.

Cosimo’s unforgivable actions towards Mana and Allen the Dog may have been fueled by insecurity, trauma and fear as much as jealousy. His abuse towards Red is a result of long years of being abused himself; his own way to cope. 

While Red/Allen blames himself for his pain and not inflict it back upon others, Cosimo did the opposite, because everyone reacts and adapts differently. However, to be clear, both of these traits are not healthy. 

There’s also the fact that Red was saved by the kindness of Allen the Dog and Mana while he is fortunately still young enough to regain faith; whereas Cosimo suffered alone all through his life, surrounded by selfish, two-faced scumbags like that guy handing out leaflets. Had things been different, who’s to say Red might not turn out the same as Cosimo?

In a nutshell, Cosimo is simply a product of his harsh environment. While I still despise him, I can’t help feeling some pity for him and understanding where all that evil had come from. I don’t believe he is inherently bad. Nobody is. Had he been raised with love, I’m sure he would have been a very different person.

5. The Pillar

I know, this is what y’all are actually here for. I mean who cares about Cosimo’s tragic life or the difference between a Pierrot and a Clown when there’s an honest-to-gods HOLY LIGHT SPLITTING THE SKY APART AND OBLITERATING THIS WHOLE WORLD FULL OF SINNERS!? And it’s even teased, like, waaaaay back in Timothy’s Arc (gawd how old was I back then?) !!

First, a recap of this chapter: 

7,000 years ago, The Pillar destroyed the world (which seems pretty modern). The Noah survived and held a grudge against The Pillar for forever destroying their world, leaving them with nowhere to return to. Once they found the reborn Millennium Earl, they pretended to be his family, but instead are using him to exact revenge on The Pillar, because it is predicted the Earl will one day become The Pillar and destroy the world again. Cross however took pity on the Earl and chided Road for believing in that prophecy and causing the Earl so much misery.

Some IRL tidbits: 

Hoshino-sensei revealed she traveled to Ground Zero of WTC for inspiration, now we finally get to know which scene that inspiration is for. And IMO, the instant obliteration coming out of nowhere on one fine day, the Pillar etching a line from sky to ground amidst the pile of rubble, reminds me of the A-bomb’s mushroom cloud over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. And we all know which country Hoshino-sensei comes from, right? Could there be a link? 

Now, my personal analysis (or rather, pointless rant with no answers coming out whatsoever): 

This chapter both confirms, clarifies and also debunks important things we have believed from our time with the Order, listening to the Order’s side of the story. 

1) In the very beginning, Komui tells Allen about the previous end of the world 7,000 years ago. The Bible calls it “The Great Flood”. The Cube calls it “The Three Days of Darkness.” However, we now learn it is neither rainy nor dark. Nope, one day all of a sudden, a blindingly bright shaft of light struck down from the sky, and The Capitol suddenly became The Scorch. How did it achieve that? No clue! 

2) Komui tells Allen that the end of the world was caused by a war between the wielders of Innocence and the Earl + the Noah Family, and the ensuing flood that destroyed the world scattered the Innocence around the world. 

However, in this chapter, we learned there was no war. There was no flood. Just the Pillar that appeared suddenly one day. And surprise, the Noah Family hated The Pillar for destroying their beloved world, their only home (wait, aren’t they supposed to hate the Innocence?). 

Yet now the Noah are working with the Earl, who wants to destroy the new world and would someday become the Pillar and destroy the new world too? Yet Cross says they’re just using him for all this time? 

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? 

My super duper wild theory is that since 1) The Earl is the Pillar-in-Making,  2) The Noah show hatred for The Pillar as much as they do for the Innocence, 3) The Pillar, like Innocence, could trigger their Noah Memory to threaten to swallow them, then it’s kinda implied that;

Mana = The Millennium Earl = The Pillar = The Heart of Innocence

And the Noah, knowing this all along and wanting to prevent the end of the world from happening again, tricked the Millennium Earl into thinking they’re helping him fulfill his raison d'être of Harbinger of the End of The F***ing World (sorry, another reference, heh), not telling him that he’s actually the Heart of Innocence itself, watch him go after Exorcists he suspects are the Heart, and gleefully accept his orders to kill those Exorcists looking for the Heart, in order to prevent the Black Order from ever getting the Earl aka the Heart on their side. 

They also let the Earl create legions of Akuma to fight the Exorcists and destroy all the Innocence shards, literally using the Earl to destroy himself, keeping him away from his true allies, chipping away at his lifeline one shard at a time, like Harry crushing Voldemort’s horcruxes one by one, not knowing he’s a Horcrux himself. Until finally, when there is nothing left but the greatly weakened Heart with no army to protect it, then will the Noah have the chance to defeat it once and for all. 

And of course while they keep the Earl busy searching for the Heart, old man will never pause and think hmmm, maybe I am the Heart? 

Perhaps this is why Wisely said that all humans who have awoken into Noah will accept their duty once they learned of Noah’s mission. Since Noah’s mission now seems to be preventing the end of the world at the hands of Innocence, which I take as God’s power, and God’s weapon for “cleansing” the world whenever he deems it too sinful. 

After all, we have seen the horrors Innocence can do, the lengths Innocence will go to punish people it judged to have sinned. Innocence is said to be a crystallization of God, and like God, it has been foreshadowed numerous times to have that ruthless, merciless, unforgiving streak within it that could alienate even Allen himself.

Anyway, I typed this one without checking the earlier volumes that much. I expect there will be several loopholes, so be sure to point out any inaccuracies and also please, please do let me know what you guys think of these reveals as well! I’d love to hear differing theories!

Other tidbits

The Garvey Troupe, not Garbeigh. Sorry, everyone. Phonetically, Japanese does not have the “v” sound. Nowadays, you can write it out by adding the mark on the ウ (u) letter like this: ヴ, but most words would still transliterate it to the “b” sound, and most Japanese people will still have trouble pronouncing the “v” sound properly anyway. For example, “Violin” could be written both as (v)ヴァイオリン or (b)バイオリン, and most people would pronounce it like the latter.

Do you think Road’s memories of the End of the World has anything to do with Lenalee and Allen’s shared dream of the End of the World as well? Though Lenalee’s nightmare features the Black Order in ruins and not the modern skyscrapers of Road’s. 

So Cross knew Nea and Mana from childhood!? I’ve always thought he met Nea by chance when they are grownups and he was forced to do Nea’s bidding. Interesting!! 

So, that’s it for this chapter! Phew! That was uber long. Thank you so much for bearing with me this far. Hit me up in comments!

[cutegirlmayra]

If It's Not To Much Trouble....

@helaknight What about a Boom! Sonamy prompt where Sonic likes Amy and teases her by flirting with other girls to tick her off because he thinks she still have feeling for him. And Amy feels Sonic is actually making fun of her and confronts Sonic to stop teasing her and walks away but Sonic grabs her arm and pulls her to him and tells her that she’s not fooling him and he wants to be in a relationship, but Amy thinks he won’t take isn’t serious so she tells him the requirements with a song and in the end he gently grabs her hands and pulls one of them to his cheek and the other to his chest meeting her know he’ll take their relationship serious and you can think of the rest.

~💙💖~

Melanie Martinez just released her new album and I would love her song High School Sweethearts to go with this song. I know you don’t cuss so you can use the clean version.

Ya? No?

—–

Ehem, -listens to the song- umm… I can do my best, but this isn’t really… ‘friendly’ for prompts lol I’ll do my very best to incorporate the song into the prompt, but it will have to be changed. I hope that’s okay! >x<

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN! So help me, if yall give me one more amazing prompt to do without first saving it in a word doc for when the freakin’ grand reopening is SO CLOSE TO HAPPENING I will eat your prompt to where the sweet, wonderful prompt I would have written is stashed safely in my stomach! DO YOU HEAR ME!? ONLY I WILL ENJOY IT! So please, PLLEEEASSSE put all your wonderful ideas somewhere safe until I reopen everything! Thanks, you’re the best~<3

Prompt:

“Can I just be honest?”

Amy, leaning against a wooden stall in the market place, arms crossed and glaring away from Sonic’s typical pick-up line.

“I can’t tell which is the prettier twin.”

The twins giggled before waving him off, and he zipped over to another little lovely batch of girls. “S’up, girls. Names adventure.” he winked, as some giggled while most just shifted their eyes as though confused.

“He’s out of his mind!” Amy flipped her hands around in the air, “What does he think he’s doing!? It’s a waste of time! He’s not gonna cross the finish line with any of these girls, and they walk away the second he tries to even finish a flirt!”

As Amy rambled on about it, Tails just sighed and put his metal detectors headphones down to hang around his neck. “Amy, I don’t know how to say this, but I think you’re acting really jealous right now. I mean, it’s not like he’s causing any harm.”

“Oh, yeah? Just me?” Amy stood with full confidence in front of Tails, as if knowing something he didn’t.

“What?” Tails raised an eyebrow to her, before looking to see Sonic trying to put a move on Zooey. “That jerk!” he threw the metal detector down, completely animated in his shock, before rolling his eyes back up at Amy. “Ehem, he needs to be stopped.” he straightened himself up.

“Well, at least Zooey’s being faithful.” Amy sighed, seeing Zooey scoot away from Sonic as Tails began to lose his mind.

“That’s it! I’m talking with him.” Tails was about to step forward when Amy threw her arm out.

“No, this is my battle.” There was an aura of power and might, as instrumental, epic music played instantly in her wake.

“Huh?” Tails, seeing the shift of tone, suddenly looked up to Amy.

She marched over to Sonic, making people jump or scramble to get out of her way.

“You think it’s funny, don’t you? Making fun of my passion?”

Sonic stopped a moment as Zooey cowered under the counter, seeing a confrontation about to occur.

Sonic, sly as always, leaned a little and smirked at Amy. “So, you finally noticed?”

She gritted her teeth, and the aura she once had boosted vigorously to where the whole town suddenly were closing windows, doors, and even locking down their open, wooden market place.

It was like a western show down.

“You’re one to talk. You mock my only fashion sense!” Sonic raised his foot up, revealing his shiny red shoes. “These are the ONLY article of clothing I get to where, you better respect the shine, sister!”

“Oh, just keep talking.” Amy was getting more and more agitated. “Because the more you do, the more I regret ever telling you how I feel!”

“What..?” Sonic suddenly lowered the foot, confused.

Amy’s hands shook violently, her head moving down as she struggled to keep it together. “If you can’t handle a heart like mine then…” she swung her head up, refusing to be weak and vulnerable in front of him again, “If you can’t handle the loving, the smothering then… then..!!! Then I don’t need to like you anymore!” she stomped away, but the powerful roar caused Sonic’s blue quills to stand on end, the sign behind him to fall over from the powerful cry.

“Hold on!” Sonic shook himself free of the effect of her rejection and zoomed back to grab her arm, stopping her again. “After you told me you liked me you said there would be requirements! I can’t just jump from step seven to eleven! You have some things you have to do too!” he looked serious… something Amy hadn’t seen in him before.

“What are you talking about!? You refused to even hold my hand! Too scared to show me off in public, or even admit you-!” she bit her tongue.

“What? Choked? Biting your tongue back?” Sonic let her go, but remained in her way. “Amy, why do you think I was egging you on all this time? You wanna act like those high school sweethearts you see all around you, but that’s not who I am! They’re not your type, and you should know it!”

“Oh, yeah? And what is!” Amy pushed him back, “A jerk who thinks flirting with other girls will somehow make me step up and be honest!?”

“Yes!” Sonic seemed to release all his tension then, “That’s exactly what you’re doing! You want me to promise to love you? Then you have to be fine showing it! For one thing, you never act like you like me in front of me!” he gestured to himself, “I’m no cheater, I won’t waste your time, and I won’t screw you over! But you can’t tie me down, Amy… I can’t do all that… mushy, gushy romantic side of things! Can’t you tell these girls couldn’t even stand me!?”

“It’s true, he’s awful!”

“Thank you! … Hey!” Sonic turned to try and see what random girl’s voice had just spoken up from the hiding crowd but they all ducked their heads back down.

“I’m willing to try this thing out, but you have to be willing to play at a level I’m comfortable with. You’re the only girl I’ve ever been absolutely ridiculous for, Amy… I’m trying. But I need you to try too. For one, you weren’t comfortable with me flirting with these girls, right? Think of how I feel when you keep your real feelings hidden from me.” Sonic tried to be deep, but another girl’s voice spoke up right as he began to be vulnerable.

“To be honest, we didn’t really feel comfortable with his flirting either…”

“Alright, she gets it!” Sonic slammed a foot down and turned back, glaring at the naysayers to quit their random outbursts already. “Thank you for your input but I think we’ve all got the picture that I’m bad at this!”

“Really bad!”

“He stinks!”

“I mean, his looks are kinda all he’s got left.”

Sonic, defeated, sighed and swayed his arms down.

“…Fine, new requirements.” Amy grabbed Sonic’s brown bandana around his neck and pulled him over to her face, causing his feet to skid against the ground a moment, his feet falter from holding him steady. “If you date me… just be yourself, and I’ll… try and be my true self.” Her ears bent a little, she couldn’t look him in the eye when she said it.

He smiled, taking in her sincerity.

“There, now was that so hard-OFFPH!”

She pulled him up to her face, “But if you flirt with another woman again, I’ll rip your freakin’ face off!”

“Urk, d-duly noted…”

The crowd cheered, glad Sonic’s random flirting was over with, but then two high school sweethearts starting singing and Sonic and Amy both turned to them and shouted,

“Shut up!”

Sonic, leading Amy away from the crowd who continued to pester with how lovely-dovey the rest of them were, even Tails and Zooey being cute with their tails forming a 3-dimensional heart–finally retreated to being alone.

“What are we doing here?” Amy asked before Sonic took her hand. “S-Sonic..?” she blushed, looking confused.

“I haven’t said my confession yet.” Nervously, he smiled and put her hand to his heart. “Feel that?”

She shyly pulled a little away, but Sonic’s insist tug, and those annoyed eyes, let her know that she needed to try and little harder here too…

She conceded, letting her fingers dip into fur and feel his heart beat.

“That’s how you make me feel.”

“You just ran.” she rolled her eyes.

“No… I just started feeling…” He looked up to her, and their eyes suddenly locked in great emotion… Amy’s heart began to race too.

“Can we just be honest?” Sonic tilted his head, leaning towards her forehead and letting it touch his own as he put another arm around her shoulders… bringing her closer.

“There are no requirements.” He teased, as she found herself melting into his embrace a bit. “If you think you can be my one and only true love… then…”

He whispered, “Don’t wake up.”

Amy’s eyes burst open as she leaned up from her bed, listening to music with her headphones on and groaned, seeing it was still late at night.

“Oh man..!!!” she kicked under the covers and picked up her hammer, also having its own pillow by her side–not allowing it to get stolen again–and smashed her radio.

(Super AU, but I hope I did alright >////w///<; )

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[hozierfic]

Submission by @ineffable-nalu​

Hey this is my first Hozier fic, and my first time ever posting a submission of my wiritng on Tumblr, I’m kind of scared but YOLO right ? I don’t know how this works if that wasn’t obvious. Well hope someone enjoys it. I think it will be a couple of chapters if someone likes it!

Thanks!

Calliope’s POV

The sound of Marimba fills the room waking me up in a bed that isn’t my own which sucks, even if it’s a fancy hotel room bed, there’s just something peaceful about waking up home knowing that it’s your space your time no rush even when you are rushing. Is any of this even making sense ?

I sigh as I look over at the clock, it’s 5 minutes passed 8 and I really should get up and start getting ready. Rolling out of bed and stretching out my joints I make my way into the bathroom for a shower, I really need the wake up call.

Nearly 30 minutes later and I’m done getting ready, my curly brown hair is as tamed as it can be and I decided on being as casual as acceptable when your sister is a super model, considering I’m meeting her for brunch I can’t show up in sweats, so I opted for skinny black jeans, a black turtle neck and my favorite high heel boot. I put on my liner and a red lip and grabbing my coat before stepping out, it’s still early and I’m not meeting Harmonia until later, but there are a few things I’d like to do.

I’m only in New York for 1 more day and I can’t miss the oprotunity to go to check out the Stephen A. Schwarzman library. You see I’m a published author, well a barely published author I wrote a fantasy novel that is supposed to be a trilogy, it was published 5 months ago and I was surprised by the fact that people really liked it, so here I am on my book tour. Thinking about my reading tonight I entered the elevator and pushed the button for lobby when I heard someone shout

“Hold the lift please” My hand jupms out at the closing doors and a tall man rushes in as they close “Thanks for that, you’re going down too? Great” he says in a charming Irish accent as he pushes the lobby button again and leans back on the wall with and took the guitar case strapped off of his shoulder

I took this as my chance to check him out. I was wrong he’s not tall, he’s very tall, I would say over 2 meters probably, his hair is long and hectic, curly and frizzy but god does it work for him. I was startled out my daze when the elevator jumped slightly, the lights flickering making me almost fall over if not for my reflexes and the rail I would’ve fallen, it made another clunking noise before finally stopping in place

“What the hell ?” I asked looking up at the counter that shows you what floor you’re on only to see it’s stuck between the fourth and fifth floor. Perfect.

“I do belive it’s stuck” The handsome stranger says and I look at him over my shoulder with an arched brow as if to say ‘Really I hadn’t noticed’

Sighing back into the wall I answered

“Yeah, it seems so. I just can’t belive that these things actually happen. I mean for 23 years I have never been stuck in an elevator and then this one, in a 5 star hotel may I add decides to brake down. Doesn’t this sort of thing usually happen in movies ?” I ramble on and look up to him as he just startes at me with an amused look on his face

“ Yes I think it does usually happen in movies, but in real life as well. I’ve been stuck in a lift before don’t worry they’ll get us out soon. You’re not claustrophobic are you ?”

I snort-laughed at his question

“No, and thank god, that would be unpleasant. For the both of us”

he nodded and extented his hand towards me “The name’s Andrew” cute name, it suits him I though as I shook his and smiled at him “Calliope”

“The Greek muse of epic poetry ? In the flesh ?” he gasped putting his hand on his heart “Forgive me my lady for I hadn’t a clue as to who’s presence I was in” he said dramatically making me scoff playfully, can you a blame a girl for flirting a little ? He’s gorgeous.

“If only you were half as funy as you think you are, you could be a comedian. My parents are historians and Greek mythology fanatics I would say, my sister’s name is Harmonia” he chuckled at that

“How do you know I’m not ? A comedian I mean. and I like your name, it suits you. I can see you isnpiring Homer to write the Illiad”

I chucked at that “Because you’re not funny, and that’s kind of esential to being a comedian. And If only I could inspire my self to write” I said the last part somewhat softly but he heard any way

“Oh, you’re a writer then ?” I turned my head to look at him, then realized he is a good head and a half taller so I craned my neck and shurgged “I suppose I am, barley”

He laughed at that and sat on the floor “What does 'Being barley a writer’ even mean ? You either are or you aren’t”

Following his example I plopped on the floor as well and sighed “ I am a writer, just been going through a funk and can’t seem to write a god damn word, you know ? Sometimes I think the first one was just a lucky break and I’m not actually a good writer” I stopped myself before I could continue, what was wrong with ne ? Just spilling my guts out to this beautiful relative stranger.

Andrew nods his head as he looks at me before leaning back and looking at the roof of the box we were currently trapped in “ I actually know well what that’s like”

“Are you a writer as well ?” I asked

“No, musician” his head tilts to the guitar next to him and I almost facepalm, what am I an idiot of course he’s a musician

“Oh yeah obviously, sorry I haven’t really had coffe yet so I’m a bit slow. Are you in a band ?” I ask him and he nods

“Don’t worry about it I feel the same, can barely keep my eyes open. And yes I am in a band” he says with a smile

“That’s cool, you do look familliar. Wait don’t tell me” I hold my hand up and I can see he’s trying to hold back a laugh, but he listens and sits back as I inspect him, top to bottom

“Ok, you’re Irish, you play the guitar but you also write the songs and you’re in a band.”

I mumble to myself as I look into his beautiful hazel eyes he smiled at me seeming quite entertained, brushing off his looks I keep thinking.

I know I’ve seen him but where ? “Andrew ? Andrew ? Where do-” and the it hit me and I jumped to my feet

“Oh, Oh I got it!”

I said loudly and this time he does laugh as he looks at me take my seat again “Already ? I was kind of enjoying the attention and proximity” I shoved his shoulder playfully

“Andrew Hozier-Byrne, How did I not see it ? I mean I love your music” I say laughing at myself for not seeing it.

“Ding ding, we have a winner.” He laughs

“To be perfectly honest I never looked at who was singing too engrossed in the lyrics and melodies . But your music is hauntingly beautiful you know ?”

I tell him and his face shifts from amusement to flattery and a bit of embarrassment

“Uhm, thanks always nice to know people like the music I create” he says scuffing his hair as he talks.

“And don’t even worry about not recognizing me, I prefer being as anonymous as possible”

I smile at him placing my head on the wall

“I can imagine how hectic life can be for a world renown musician” I say gently and he nods in agreement

“You are a writer though. Your music is poetry. If you were born in the 16th century you would’ve given Marlowe and Shakespeare a run fir their money”

He laughs at my statement rolling his head over to look at me

“That is high praise I am humbled, you said you have a book published?”

“Yeah, I’ve had the idea for it for so long and I finished the first book about a year ago, it was published about 6 months ago”

“What’s it called maybe I’ve read it ?”

I really laugh at that shaking my head “Oh no, no you haven’t trust me”

His brows furrow a bit at my words

“Why so self deprecating? I’m sure I’ve heard or read about it if not actually read. Come on” he urged making me want to sigh.

“Keepers of the rift” I say after a moment of silence.

“No way” he says quietly making me look at him “What ?”

Andrew beams at me akin to a child on Christmas morning “I absolutely loved your book, are you kidding me ? You’re Cal Andjelkovic? ”

he bewildered completely butchering my last name making me laugh

“It’s Andjelkovic actually but yes, I shortened the name. And you actually read my book ?”

I asked seemingly suspicious but in all honesty just sort of stunned. I still can’t believe that anyone’s read my book let alone well known artist

“Yes, yes I stumbled across it in a book shop while we were touring The UK and since you spend 90% if your free time on a bus while touring I love to fill the time by reading.

And when I started yours I couldn’t put it down until I finished it”

He said sincerely and it warmed every part of me.

I’ve met loads of people during my signing and reading sessions but this almost intimate setting with us on the floor, shoulders pressed against one another having him tell me he enjoyed my writing made it special

I nudged his shoulder slightly making him look at me with a raised brow I  smiled up at him

“That is high praise, especially from you. I am humbled” I repeat his words to him and he smirks slightly at me

“Cheek” he mumbles making me laugh

—————————

“So you’re struggling with the second one then ?” His voice resonates around me, he’s looking up at me from a journal of some sorts. We have been sitting in silence for, who knows how long.

I look at my watch seeing it’s 11:30 and we are still in this goddamn elevator. I’m going to be late for brunch, and as if icing in the cake there was no service in here.

“Yes you could say that. For almost 8 years I had this story in my mind, and every day it was slowly building itself. It took me some time to actually physically write a sentence of it.

I have an outline of all three volumes. Always saw it as a trilogy of sorts.

And even though I know what I want from the second one- Writing it is still a completely different story”

I say looking at him and seeing sympathy on his face

“I have been there, sometimes the music pours out, the lyrics come to me in dreams and during showers or cooking.

And then other times I’m close to banging my head against a wall just to think of a single note”

I hummed at him in understanding

“Soon you said, eh ?” I laughed after about a minute of silence making him chuckle in return

“Apparently things work differently in America, if we were in Ireland we’d already’ve been out of here and into the nearest pub for a celebratory drink” he says

“Drink? It’s not even noon yet ?”

I said laughing at his comeback

“It’s happy hour somewhere right?”

——————————

“Ok so I write something for you, you sing something for me ?” I ask and he nods his head in confirmation. It was a little after 1pm

“Deal, now would you like me to insert you into the world I created or just make up something new?” I asked

“Oooo, into the story you’ve already created I love the way you used certain folklore, myths and legends”

he replies with a childlike grin on his face making me chuckle at how cute he was

I took my own journal out of my bag and started writing, trying to find the best story to tell.

I found that writing came when writing about him, words flowed onto the page as my mind was overtaken by him.

His presence was calming, I enjoyed his conversation, he is charming and beautiful. And his music haunts me, it inspires me.

I skim over the the few pages I wrote and glanced up at him, only to find him staring at me with a intense look on his face

I cleared my throat and handed him the journal

“I- um I finished it, and to be clear this is a non proof read rough draft. So don’t expect some novelty” he takes it from my hands and starts reading intently.

Following the words with his eyes and tracing them with his fingers, I smiled looking at him

“A Fae ?” His voice brought me back and looking him in the eyes, amusement laced his voice as he looked at me with a raised brow

I shrugged my shoulders

“It was either that or a deity of the forest. But I believe Fae suits you. Hauntingly beautiful” I say

Smiling at my answer he gives me my journal back,

“It was a wonderful story, I quite enjoyed reading about me as one of the Fae”

He says

“I could put you in the second book ?” I tease

“I would be honored” he says, reaching for his guitar

“I’ll quote you on that. Oh, am I about to have the most privet Hozier concert ever ?” I joked

Making Andrew snort slightly and take his guitar out of the case slinging  it on his shoulder

“Hozier is me and my band, you are going to get an exclusive one man Andrew show. Which if you ask me is bit as good”

I slap his shoulder “Shut it, and play me something”

I smile and watch him tune his guitar for a couple of minutes before he clears his throat and looks at me

“May I sing to you a work in progress? Since you gave me an original I figured ?” I nod enthusiastically

He starts strumming the guitar gently for a while, as if trying to find the right sound and then-

“I still watch you when you’re grooving, as if through water from the bottom a pool.

You’re moving without moving.

And when you move I’m moved.

You are a call to motion, there all of you a verb in perfect view, Like Jonah on the ocean.

When you move I’m moved.

When you move I’m put to mind of all that I want to be , when you move I could never define all that you are to me”

The strumming stops and his heavenly voice fades leaving me staring at him, most likely with my mouth agape

“That was incredible, I’m awestruck to be completely honest. My god. You Sir are a poet. That was beautiful. Is there more?”

I ask and he shakes his head

“It came to me just now. While being stuck in this hellhole” he says laughing slightly but I’m just mesmerized by the lyrics he just sang

“I still watch you when you’re grooving,” I mumble to myself  reciting the lyrics “as if through water from the bottom of a pool”

I look at him

“And you’re moving without moving” I keep going

“When you move, I’m moved” he finishes for me making me smile at him

“So move me baby” I wink at him and he just stares at me for a moment

“Shake like the bough of a willow tree” and he smiles at me before scribbling down things in his journal.

I went back to scribbling notes on certain ideas I had for some of my characters, plot points needed to be addressed and such, not ten minutes passed and we heard a clunking noise and the elevator started moving.

Descending down to the lobby after 5 hours. Andrew and I get up right as the doors open

“Oh thank god man, we’ve been freaking the fuck out. I mean you’re never late to anything and then you don’t show up at rehearsals and not answering your phone, we drive together next time”

A man almost as tall as Andrew hugs him making me laugh at his ramble.

Stepping out of the elevator I looked around the lobby spotting Harmonia sitting at the bar,

I look over at Andrew and to see him talking to his band mates making me smile and move towards my sister.

Hopefully she won’t be too pissed. But them again it wasn’t really my fault.

[houkagokappa]

Favourite anime of the decade

Although I only began watching anime in 2013 and thus didn’t think I could make a post like this, I started to think about which shows I would pick if I would make it, and before I knew it I had it composed. I chose the anime that meant the most to me and I feel a strong connection to, not necessarily the ones I think were the best of each year (though in a way they are the same).

The anime for 2010-2012 are series I watched after they originally aired and the anime I picked for 2013-2019 are all series I watched as they aired.

Under the cut because this is super long and incredibly self-indulgent. You’ve been warned.

2010 - Katanagatari

What better way is there to start this list than with Katanagatari, an epic that took the entire year to air.

I watched Katanagatari with my university’s anime association in 2014-2015. I didn’t know anything about it beforehand, which is why I like attending our anime meetings. They’ve introduced me to a lot of great anime I otherwise never would’ve watched (or in this case wouldn’t have discovered until much later).

I love the colourful world and the interesting characters, the banter and all the twists. The ending to Katanagatari is one of the best endings to any anime ever. It’s a great story with a good structure and an amazing conclusion. Nanami is the best girl and we need to treasure her. That’s all.

2011 - Mawaru Penguindrum

What better way is there to continue this list, than with my favourite anime ever?

After watching and falling in love with Utena, I had Penguindrum on my radar, but I didn’t feel rushed to watch it anytime soon. Then one day, about half a year later I saw a gif of Ringo with the burning diary on my dash, which looked super cool and I took it as a sign to finally start the series.

I watched all of Penguindrum over a long weekend in November 2014 at my parents place. I remember being sick, just as I had been when I first watched Utena, which is a weird coincidence and possibly something needed for additional effect. I saw half of it on my laptop in my bed and half of it on our TV in the living room, which I regret, because turns out it’s not the kind of show you want your parents to get glimpses of. I still remember the fear I felt when episode 14 rolled around and my dad was sitting with his back to the TV and I PRAYED that he wouldn’t turn around to question me or why I was watching some animated lesbian bondage infused attempted rape scene... I also don’t know why I thought Penguindrum wouldn’t throw something like that at me, I had seen the previous 13 episodes...

Anyway, that’s my favourite anime of all time, ever. I love all of its themes to death, and it’s such a beautiful and emotional series. I think the first episode is one of the best first episodes of any anime ever and I love how the ending ties back to the very first scene. 

I could write an entire essay on why I love Penguindrum and why it’s the best series ever (well, competing with Utena for that title), but I think anyone reading this already knows why, so I’ll leave you with the funny anecdote above instead. And if you haven’t seen Penguindrum yet do yourself a favor and go watch it NOW. This is the Ringo gif for you!

2012 - Nisemonogatari

I love the Monogatari series. I love the unique animation and visual style, the amazing characters and the fun dialogues. I also really love Nisemonogatari in particular and I’m sad how it’s often dismissed for being the least interesting season or for being nothing but fanservice. I watch Monogatari specifically for the dialogue (and visuals). I don’t care about the plot as much as I care about the character interactions and Nisemonogatari delivers with those. More specifically I appreciate how well it divides the time spent with each girl. Later on in the series there are long breaks where some of the characters don’t appear at all and I end up missing them, but with Nisemonogatari we get a little bit of everyone (of those who have appeared so far). Of course it’s also great how Nisemonogatari introduces us to some new characters and upcoming plot points and contains a lot of cool foreshadowing, but that’s beside the point. All I want is the dialogue. I don’t even care what they’re talking about, Monogatari manages to make anything interesting.

I watched all of Monogatari during my spring break (lol) in 2015. I also watched it at my parents place, on the TV in our living room, which was great because Monogatari deserves a bigger screen. This time around I was older and wiser and didn’t have my parents around. It was just me and my sister and although Bakemonogatari impressed me so much I tried to make her interested in it, I wasn’t successful with that so I got to watch it in peace (peace). (In hindsight, with consideration for what was to come, that was probably for the best).

As another fun fact I should add that although I was super impressed with Monogatari, I didn’t consider myself a die-hard fan until a year or so later. I was happy to watch Owarimonogatari in the fall, and glad to see the announcement for the Kizumonogatari movies that came after it, but I wasn’t over the moon thrilled about it until I actually watched the first movie. It had to grow on me a little bit, which isn’t unusual when it comes to my favourites. I loved Utena the first time I saw it, but it took months for my obsession to build and grow and fully develop. Maybe because they’re both shows that leave the viewer with a lot to think about, so you only realise their full brilliance later on?

2013 - Kill la Kill

I began watching anime in the spring of 2013, when Shingeki no Kyojin, Free! and Dangan Ronpa began airing, because Homestuck went on a hiatus and that’s what the content on my dash changed into. I also began attending conventions and in January 2014 I went to Yukicon. At the con I ran into an acquaintance of mine and joined her gang, who decided to go and listen to a panel called “Kill la Kill - is this how Trigger saved anime?”. I would never had gone there on my own, since I wasn’t watching Kill la Kill or interested in starting it, but I’m glad I did because that was my first proper introduction to Kill la Kill and what ultimately sparked my interest for it.

When I tried the first episode I didn’t like it a whole lot. I hated the style, it was so sketchy and ugly and the fanservice made me uncomfortable. However, the first episode was really good at setting up the story and I was curious to see how it would continue so I kept watching. I didn’t love the following episodes either, but there was something that compelled me to keep watching and 4 or 5 episodes in I began liking it once the story and Ryuko’s personality had managed to fully suck me in. I binged the first half until I was caught up with the airing episodes and then I had fun waiting for the new episodes each week. I don’t remember much more about my initial reactions, but because it’s one of the first anime I ever saw and one of the first airing anime I ever followed it’ll always have a special place in my heart.

I’ve since rewatched Kill la Kill multiple times and it still holds up. I love the crazy energy, all the different personalities and characters and the amazing twists. I also grew to love the style, it’s very distinct and now that I’ve seen more anime I appreciate it all the more.

Having loved Kill la Kill and hearing so much about Trigger, I started to follow them and make sure to watch everything else they would put out. I like to think that we both started out at the same time, because this was their first anime as a new studio and one of the first anime I followed. Trigger has a special place in my heart as much as Kill la Kill does.

2014 - Selector Infected WIXOSS

Battoru battoru!

Selector Infected WIXOSS is probably the least known anime on this list. I was introduced to it by a friend who at the time watched everything that aired. She sold it to me as a Madoka-ripoff (knowing I was a huge fan), which it kinda is, but also not at all and people should stop using that phrase. It’s about girls who make wishes and suffer, but that’s where the similarities end. It’s also very much what I’m into, I love a good show with dark and somewhat taboo topics, lesbian undertones and all that jazz. It got a second season which concludes the story, but any continuation past that is not worth anyone’s time.

It was written by Mari Okada and made to sell cards. I own a set and I’m still waiting for the day when I get to play with them.

2015 - Hibike! Euphonium

Hibike! Euphonium is another anime that I watched and liked, then loved, then became absolutely obsessed over long after it had already ended. I picked it up only because it was a music anime and I had just finished Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso and was in the mood for another similar show. (I also picked up ShigaUso on a whim, because someone I followed on tumblr was hyping it up as a music lover). I’m not a musician, but I loved the series regardless and ended up relating to Kumiko and her struggles like I’ve never related to anyone before (even though the specifics of our struggles are somewhat different). Hibike! Euphonium is one of the first pieces of media that made me cry, not over a sad scene, but over a emotionally charged one when Kumiko realises she wants to succeed, she wants to win and get better and put her whole heart into her playing. (I vividly remember telling my friend about how an anime made me cry and being super embarrassed to reveal which one, because it was so new and personal to me).

Hibike! Euphonium is a beautifully made, incredibly touching anime. It’s done with so much care and so much love. I also have a lot of precious memories attached to it; I went to Kyoto for a student exchange and took the opportunity to spend an entire day in Uji, where Hibike! Euphonium takes place. I visited most of the locations seen in the anime, cried about how ridiculously realistic everything is, sat on Kumiko’s bench by the river, randomly met up with some Japanese fans and ended the day on top of Mt. Daikichi, as seen in episode 8. It was one of the best days in my life!

2016 - Doukyuusei

I was introduced to Doukyuusei through the Penguindrum tag on tumblr. Either tumblr was broken (very likely) or someone was spamming it (also very likely), but there were a couple of posts promoting Doukyuusei that showed up in the tag CONSTANTLY. They weren’t terribly out of place because the director of Doukyuusei (Nakamura Shouko) was previously known for her work on Penguindrum, but I should add that there were so many of those posts, actual Penguindrum posts (which there weren’t many of to begin with) disappeared among them, which made me quite annoyed with Doukyuusei.

Then the trailer came out and I watched it and it seemed pretty cool. I think I even glanced at the manga, but I didn’t think much of it. Then the anime came out and everyone was sharing gifs from it and they looked so good I watched the movie as soon as I could. Even though the quality of the first stream I found wasn’t great I loved it and watched it again as soon as I finished it the first time, and then again the next day when a better stream came out.

By reblogging Doukyuusei a mutual started talking about it with me and our conversation made me pick up the manga again, mainly since I found out that there’s a continuation to the story. Now that I properly read it I really fell in love with it and Nakamura Asumiko’s artstyle. I also find it funny how when I looked her up in order to find out about her other works, I realised I had looked her up before thanks to her joint project with Ikuhara. Back then I wasn’t in the mood to read Nokemono to Hanayome and I didn’t care for “some BL mangaka” to continue checking her out, but now that I’d found her again it all came back to me. I think it’s really neat and funny how I’ve been introduced to her through Ikuhara several times over!

Back to Doukyuusei, I love it a lot because it’s a very sweet and simple story. It feels realistic. I like the flow of time, or rather how it skips forward a lot and we only get small glimpses of the more important moments in their relationship, along with some of the small cute ones. It’s not an amazingly unique story, but it feels very refreshing, maybe because of how basic it is. I’m not sure how to best describe it, but at the end of the day it’s a very wholesome story about two boys who fall in love and there aren’t that many of those, especially not any that have gotten anime adaptations.

It’s quite short for a movie, which makes it very easy to watch. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen it. During my exchange, I spent 10 days in Tokyo at an Airbnb that asked me not to stream anything, so in order to have something to do in the evenings I downloaded Doukyuusei and watched it every other night. I also used to watch it at least every month for more than a year and as a general pick-me-up whenever I was feeling down. I know the entire movie by heart by now.

2017 - Owarimonogatari 2nd season

I already shared how I got into Monogatari and why I love it so much. Yet, or precisely therefore it shows up on this list again (though all things considered it should be a bonus instead of an entry). The second season to Owarimonogatari is an amazing conclusion to an amazing series (not that it’s the conclusion at all). Hachikuji is my favourite character so it was great to see her again after so long (see my comments about Nisemonogatari) and I’m still crying over the brilliance of her kamimashita gag. It was also very rewarding to get an end to the mystery that was Ougi.

The anime came out while I was on a field course in Tvärminne. I remember it well, because I had the luxury of having a room to myself and an entire afternoon to chill there. I began watching it and had a really good time doing so until a classmate of mine came knocking on my door, asking me to join him in some game and I had to choose between being social or watching the long awaited new season of Monogatari. It was a tough choice to leave Hachikuji behind (I’M SO SORRY), but I ditched her and joined them. After that I didn’t have enough time to finish the series, until it was time for us to leave. I couldn’t get a car ride all the way to Helsinki, but I managed to get one to the Inkoo library and my dad to pick me up from there maybe an hour or two later which was the perfect time and perfect place to continue watching Monogatari. I really haven’t learned anything when it comes to watching possibly questionable anime with other people around. Luckily no one lives in Inkoo, so I got to watch it entirely undisturbed. Good memories indeed.

2017 BONUS - Eromanga-sensei

Look. I couldn’t honestly write this list without including Eromanga-Sensei. I unironically like the series. It began when I read the LN just to pass the time and have something to laugh at. Then the anime got announced and I knew I’d watch it, but I wasn’t really into it yet (the LN’s aren’t that good). Then they made a figure of Sagiri and I got it because I really love her design and then I started to look forward to the anime more, because I began having certain expectations for it and suddenly I’m here blogging about my first impressions of it (which are now lost forever, yay!).

I actually find the story to be quite touching and I got emotional watching the anime. Sagiri and Masamune have lost and gained their families multiple times over and now with all their parents dead it’s just the two of them left, both desperate and scared and unsure, wanting to find and create a new family and sense of belonging for themselves. It’s also a really well-made series, all the production values are top notch, the animation is fluid, the music is nice and the voice acting is great. It’s pretty funny and although none of the characters are particularly likeable, it’s an enjoyable series to watch. You can’t take it too seriously though. I had a really fun time with it, mostly because I made myself have a good time with it. I didn’t care about any of the memes and I got made fun of by all my friends, but that’s what I mostly remember 2017 anime for. I can’t wait for the second season, which we will inevitable get!!

2018 - 3-gatsu no Lion 2nd Season

3-gatsu no Lion is another anime that grew on me over time. I had difficulties watching and finishing both seasons, because at times it’s a really slow series, but I still consider it one of my favourites and one of the best series ever made. The second season was even better than the first and I sincerely hope we’ll get a third, and a fourth and a fifth or however many are required to finish the entire story.

Shaft has again done an incredible job with the visuals. I love the entire production, the music and voice acting and the overall feeling. The bullying arc was amazing, super emotional and raw and I love how it dealt with the aftermath and how there wasn’t a simple solution and how everything didn’t get fixed overnight, because that’s not how it works in real life. I love how Rei got a lot of personal growth. I love seeing him starting to rely on others more and become more comfortable with himself and what he likes and wants. It’s incredible how all the characters are multifaceted and how 3-gatsu makes me care for them (I’m cheering on you, pidgeon-man!). The Kawamoto family emits so much warm and positive energy I can’t help but cry everytime I see them. In fact, I used to prepare for each episode by making myself a nice, often Japanese styled meal, since there’s such a huge focus on delicious looking food in the anime I would always get hungry watching it, and a packet of tissues because I would cry every. single. week. It was ridiculous.

It’s not an easy series to get into, but probably the only series I feel the need to recommend to everyone I meet, just because it really is an amazing series that explores the human psyche and an incredibly rewarding watch once you get into it.

2019 - Sarazanmai

Do I even need to write something here? Anime of the decade, no question about it. 

There’s something really special in being able to follow an anime project you’re passionate about right from the start and I’m glad I got to do it with an Ikuhara project, because his anime is on a whole other level and speaks to me in ways no other media does. This was also the first time I took on such an active role in the fandom, which has been incredibly fun, but a bit taxing as well. However, if there is an anime that gets better once you share your thoughts on it with others each week, it’s Ikuhara’s.

Sarazanmai ended up being what I expected and nothing like it. I don’t know how, but it managed to exceed my expectations, even though they were skyhigh and I was worried about getting let down, especially since Yurikuma Arashi didn’t live up to my expectations for it. Sarazanmai however, was everything I wanted and more.

I love the story and themes, I love the characters, I love how there was so much going on, but they managed to make it work and have a satisfying ending. The musical numbers were insanely good and I love all the crazy shirikodama shenanigans. Watching Sarazanmai is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, with just the right amount of everything. I can’t wait to see what Ikuhara comes up with in the next decade!!

---

If you’ve read this far, thank you for your time. I hope you enjoyed this and I applaud you for getting through all of it. If you feel like it, please share your picks with me, I’m curious to see what they are!

[kyberphilosopher]

Chapter Three

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

 The reinforcements arrived in multiple ships just big enough to fit one person each. It was pretty clear they were designed for epic battles in the air instead of shooting down one specific target on a rotten sand planet. However, they decided on the latter.

 I recognize the model right away. On Bracca, most of the pieces we took apart went right back into making the Tie-Fighters. I wonder if one of the three that comes my way is a ship that I helped put together. Wouldn’t that be… well, it wouldn’t be funny. Now that I think about it.

 I can’t see them in the night of Jakku, but I can hear them. They fly with sounds of electricity and musical whirs that I actually rather enjoy. The irony.

 So, as I listen to the oncoming ships screaming at me, realize the definite internal bleeding in my stomach, and come to the conclusion that one of the muscles in my leg is on fire, I know I need to run the other way. Perhaps I can lose them in the sand and find a ship port. From there I can steal a ship and go somewhere even deeper in the middle of nowhere.

 I turn on my heel and sprint as fast as I can through the earth, the lightsaber in my hand humming with every movement. There’s no point in turning the green beacon off, I know full well they can see me in the dark with the fancy equipment in their ships. If they’re going to shoot at me- which they’re about to do, of course- I need to have my weapon at the ready.

 Maybe I can hide in the old Republic Ship? No, no I won’t make it. I need the sand dunes for cover.

 I can hear the ships come closer behind me. Craning my head over my shoulder while running, I can see the ships not only look like sideways 8’s, but have formed a sort of arrow- the one in the middle being the closest to me. I can make out three total, one on each side.

 Oh Maker, my stomach is in so much pain. If I make it out of this (don’t worry, I do) I will never hurt my stomach again (promise broken).

 I feel the middle fighter fire shots at me before they even emerge. Instinctively, I duck my head with panic as if that will do something. The whirring whiz of blasters come out in green streaks that hits the sand beside me.

 While the first initial shots may miss me, they continue to come out rapidly and too quickly enough for me to totally evade. They’re getting closer and closer- far too close for my liking. Note to self- the Empire’s ships focus on fast paced shots rather than accuracy. Their weapons must be automatic instead of semi-automatic as well.

 Turning my whole body but still moving slightly backwards, I raise my lightsaber in front of my face. The shots reflect off it and after 3 are bounced off, they catch the ship back and one of the ‘wings’ erupts into flames. It knocks into the sand and rolls along the ground, barely missing crashing against the fighter to the left of it.

 I turn my attention to the continuation of sprinting away from my immediate death. Although I’ve just taken one out, the treat feels so much more real than it did before. Luckily, there’s a steep dip in the waves of sand that I can slide down and lose the remaining Tie-Fighters in for a moment. Indeed, after I slip downhill, they whiz past me about two seconds later. They’ll turn around momentarily I’m sure, and when they do I need to be out of the low ground.

 I bend my knees and spring into the air, flipping until my toes land in the sand above. One of the fighters has circled around in the sky- it shoots at me from above. I raise the saber again, angling it with my shoulders tensed. I manage to block the first shots and they reflect back to the ship, hitting it pretty cleanly. Flames erupt again from the side and a trail of smoke falls behind the decaying flight of the fighter. I’m proud of myself for a moment.

 It seems, however, that the pilot is still very much alive and intends to take me out with him. The ship begins to come down- aimed at me. I swear I can see the pilot inside tear off his oxygen mask and smirk.

 I hold the hand with my lightsaber out, effectively stopping the ship mid-flight. (It feels good to not have to think about my powers to be able to use them.) Inside, the pilot jolts around a little and a spark goes off. Good. Asshole has this coming. I consider throwing it at the other fighter, but instead I realize that maybe I can save that ship and use it to get out of here. Meanwhile, I’ll slam my hand down and the Force will cause the ship I hold to dive straight into the dunes below so I can be done with it.

 It makes the sand beneath it jump up like a volcano eruption that showers the air. Now all I need to do is find the other fighter and try to keep the damage to a minimum.

 It blends in with the black sky, but after a few squints of my eyes I can see two red dots blinking and the covering up of stars in a ship shaped curtain. I turn my hand to it, and I’m met with some resistance. I can feel more beads of sweat growing along my hairline and slipping down my jaw. Why is this fighter so heavy? It must be the fatigue getting to me. Like I’m all “Forced out” or something.

 I decide I need another hand and seal off my lightsaber for full attention. After a few seconds of concentration and near grunting on my part, the ship comes over to me and falls in the in front of me, neither on fire nor destroyed. I can see the pilot throw off his mask and open the hatch above him to get out.

 As he climbs up, I pull him over to me. My head is down, sweat beading my face as my chest heaves and I struggle for one single flat breath. He flies closer, fear in his eyes and his Imperial boots leaving a trail in the golden dunes. I ignite my lightsaber and push it into his chest. He falls off of the end and lies dead on the sand.

 Again, it feels so good. It feels… cathartic, kind of. Like maybe killing is my own form of letting things out. Like I deserve it. But the more I kill, the worse I feel inside. The worse I feel inside, the more neutral I become. And the more neutral I become… the farther I skew to the Dark side.    

 It’s done then.

 I seal off my lightsaber and the buzzing stops, so I am left alone with no other sounds than the wind and a distant cricket. With time to spare, I grip my stomach and double over in pain. Gods- fuck it hurts. I should’ve brought a pack of healing stims or first aid at least in my bag, but I figured we wouldn’t need it. Fuck me.

 Part one of the plan: search the pilots or fighters for medical supplies if they haven’t burned away already.

 Part two: find or stop at a planet that does have medical supplies.

 Part three: avoid all planets and people for the rest of my life. Easy enough.

 I decide to start my search in the ship that’s my ticket out of here. I walk over to it with a bit of a limp and a hand covering my stomach, then climb to the top where I drop in the little circular door. The inside is small and completely gray, with one chair and the whole front as the console, which contains buttons of all kinds. Some are blue that fade to green, others are red and blinking. There’s a small screen slightly to the left that flashes red and says “Warning: System Compromised” and beeps. I press the only button attached and it shuts off and stops making the annoying noise. This thing looks more complicated to fly than I expected. On top of that, there are no signs of medicinal supplies. Of course- why would there be?

 With a sigh, I climb out, standing on the top to gather my surroundings for a moment. I can see the fighter than I brought down a few meters from the one I stand on now. Through the window, I can see the pilot that tried to take me down with him bang on the window and push buttons frantically. I know what I’m thinking may seem like a bad idea, but hear me out.

 I hop down from my last hope and put the lightsaber back on the belt. Walking through the sand, I figure I have time to get over there before the fighter explodes. I think I’ll take my sweet time, in fact. The flames at the side seem to have died down already. All I can do is hope that the pilot inside is more loyal to the offer of life than the Empire.

 He sees me approaching and slows his attempts to open the hatch or bang on the window.

 “Hello there,” I say, waving my left hand a bit. He narrows his eyes at me.

 I can see he wears all black clothing under his seatbelt, with the design of the Empire on his shoulder. On the floor under his seat is an all-black helmet, similar to the Clones, though it seems they made a few modifications since three years ago. The pilot is a human, fairly young but older than me. His skin is a little dirty from the smoke and the crash, but he appears pale with a few freckles. His hair is a sandy shade of blonde that was once slicked back, but since fallen in front of his face and become stringy and messy. Not so unattractive, now that he’s defenseless against me.

 “What do you want?” he says. I think he says, at least. I can’t hear him through the glass, but I can see the way his mouth moves and guess.

 “You want out of there?” I begin. “You certainly look like you do.”

 He narrows his eyes again, opens his mouth to speak- but I cut him off. “I’m going to let you out of there, and I fully expect you to try to kill me.”

 “I aim to please,” I see him say.

 "Alright, just keep your head down for a minute.” I jump up to the front and see that a piece of shrapnel is keeping it from opening. I can’t move it myself, but instead I take the opportunity to remind him of who has the lightsaber here and who doesn’t. Taking the weapon from my belt, I plunge the green beam of light into and around the hatch and drag it in a circle. When it’s about to fall on him, I hold it in its place with the force and make it fly off into the sand somewhere. Now I can see him from above.

 The pilot coughs a bit and I realize his seat belt must be jammed as well. I slip next to him and cut off where the clips on either side of the chair are. Before he can grab his gun-which he clearly will, I am in front of the chair and holding the end of my blade to his neck, the reverse grip allowing me to bring it closer to his skin. He sinks farther into his chair, glaring up at me in a way I rather enjoy.

 I’m glad he hates me.  

 “I’m not going to kill you,” I start, slowly, “If you agree to be of use to me.”

 “And why would I do that?” the pilot says bitterly, not daring to break eye contact. You know, I think I really like him. He’s spiteful. I can see his eyes are such a warm shade of brown they might as well be red, or honey.

 “Because it’ll benefit the both of us,” I finish, noticing the look of interest in his eye. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about manipulating people, always begin with something that’s in their best personal interest.

 “I’m listening.”

 “Your plan, if you get out of here is probably to kill me or head to the nearest cantina right?” I say, making sure my voice is steady and strong. I know how to threaten people, because I’ve seen Mur and Talik do it multiple times. “Well, surely a bright guy like you would understand that the Empire will kill you for either your failure or your desertion.” His jaw tightens a little, and I know I must be right about some part.

 “Help me fly that ship out of there, and we’ll find a planet far away from the Empire. If you want, you can leave after that. I just need someone to get me out of here- all this shit looks too complicated for me to fly.”

 He looks a little amused by that. “In return, I won’t kill you, and I won’t anonymously inform the Empire that I saw a fighter go down and a survivor disappear in the night on Jakku.” His jaw tightens a little more, his eyes meeting mine with both interest in hate. “Do we have a deal?”

 I take his guns and throw them into the sand when we jump from the fighter. After, I’m sure to pat him down and take his knife for my own. So he doesn’t try anything funny while we walk, I make him walk in front of me, and hold my fingers out to choke him a bit. Not enough to impede his walking capability, but just enough to keep him from speaking or doing anything but move forward. He climbs into the pod without a fight, and I tell him to sit in the chair.

 “There’s another chair in here, you know,” he says as if it were obvious.

 “Is it fucking invisible then?” I counter. I don’t mean to lose my cool for the moment, but It’s been a long day and I’m slowly starting to think it’s not even real at this point.

 Scowling at me for a moment, the pilot hits a button on the console and a chair emerges from the floor, back to back with the other. “I thought force users are supposed to be geniuses,” he says, spinning his chair around and knocking into mine a bit. Admittedly, I didn’t know these chairs could spin at all.

 “Right, because the man who was taken down by a teenager and couldn’t figure out how to get out of his seat belt is a genius.”

 Anger flashes in his eyes for the millionth time and he leans back a little. “Look I don’t know why I’m after you and honestly, I don’t care. But you need me to get out of here so don’t act like you’re better than me.”

 “I don’t have to be better than you,” I tell him, not daring to look away from his eyes. “I just have to be better than death.”

 “You’re a fucking Jedi- all you do is think about how you’re better than everyone else,” he says with a quiet loathing, and he turns his chair back to the console and presses a button to close the escape hatch.

 I can’t help the slow spread of upturned lips that washes over my face. Out here, it’s not uncommon to find people who are against the Jedi and the old Republic. I mean, it’s not like public opinion was really on their side towards the end, but it was always at an all-time low for the outer rim planets.  

 This pilot isn’t wrong at all- that’s one of my problems with the Jedi. I hated that they were too good to come and have me as part of their order. I resent it to this very day. I also resent that if they had found out about me on Ilum or Coruscant, they would’ve taken me away from my life there and turned made me change how I survive to fit what they believe.

 They stand for peace, but peace is not always the way. Somehow, they make it work in their brains that because they are doing the right thing, they can trample on whoever they want to. They just ignore that they do and how corrupt they truly were.

 “What’s your name?” I say as I hear the thrusters power on and a green light blink on above us.

 “Garreth,” he says after a minute.

 “That’s not a clone name,” I say, because I was truly under the impression that the Empire continued using the Clones with the new age of troopers.

 “How observant of you,” he quips. “And nobody calls them Clones anymore.”

 I scoff a little, leaning back into the seat. It’s comfortable, supporting the lower end of my back that has oh so many knots in it. “It’s Stormtroopers, right?”

 “Oh yeah,” Garreth says with an equal amount of snark. He chuckles a little. “Stormtroopers.”

 I frown a little and nod. In my head, I’m thinking about how badass the name ‘Stormtrooper’ is. I know I shouldn’t, considering a bunch of them literally just tried to kill me and my friends. But seriously, I like it. Though, I could do without the new armor they’re given. I liked the Clone outfits better.

 Clones.

 “Nice name, right?” Garreth says as he reaches up and flicks a little switch.

 I don’t say anything back, because now I want to talk even less than usual.

 The ship rises into the air smoothly, I shuffle and squirm a bit in my seat. Spinning it around to face the back of his chair and lean a little to my right, the whole chair moves to the side in one fluid motion. It seems the whole cockpit was designed for making the pilot fire more accurately and quickly. I suppose to Empire isn’t all brawns over brains. I can respect that. I can respect that way more than I respected the Jedi.

 But the spinning makes me sick to my stomach, and not because of how fragile my stomach is at the moment. It’s because spinning is a very childish thing to do, and Talik liked to do it to me and then make me do it to her.

          Garreth’s gloved hands wrap around a stick from the console and push it forward, and with a little jump we surge into space and leave Jakku behind. I don’t even bother to watch the flames of my old crew slowly fade away. It’s already burned into my brain forever and ever.

 Garreth has been silent beside me for a while now, continuously pressing buttons and moving the stick forward. He makes no attempt to contact the Empire and alert them of what’s happening, so it seems I was correct about where his loyalties lie. Not with me- but with the possibility of life. I can sense no anguish or internal conflicts within him, and his demeanor remains cool as a reflection of that.

 “What’s your name anyway?”

 I turn to look at him, my face my normal mask of blankness. I’m slightly annoyed that he’s now commanded my attention away from the stars and the pieces of junk we fly past, even though it’s not Garreth’s fault at all and I’m just a bitch.

 On the ship with my crew, I tended to stay out of the cockpit and in my own little workspace, either in my room or beside Talik, who played games with Kip. I guess I never really had much of a chance to take in the stars then. Funny that now that I do, it’s in the worst of circumstances.

 “You asked my name- now I’m asking yours.”

 I hate telling people my name. No, actually, I hate people in general. “It’s Keres,” I say coldly, turning back to the inky blackness of space and the little white freckles we call stars.  

 Garreth gives me a side eye and a little smirk. “Just Keres? Not Keres the Great or Keres the Wise or anything? Not even a last name?”

 “Now that you mention it, some people do like to refer to me as their lord and savior, sometimes Keres the All Mighty,” I say with a little bit of boredom. My right pointer finger traces around a square button lazily. I both love, and hate sitting still. Being in a cramped ship like this one is a bit of a curse in my book.

 Garreth snickers a little at my words, spinning his chair to the right to face mine. “Well Keres the All Mighty, what planet did you have in mind to escape to?”

 Ah shit, I didn’t plan this far.

 “You’re with the Empire. Any planets they haven’t been to yet?” I say, turning back to him. The light catches his irises and they flash a pretty gold color, though only for a moment.

 This makes the pilot stop and think. I can see the gears turning in his head. “Dagobah, Kijimi, maybe.”

 “What’s on Dagobah?” I ask. “I’ve never heard of it.”

 He twiddles his thumbs together and uses his toes to swing the seat back and forth slightly. “Well, for a force user such as yourself, it’s probably the best place to go. Empire doesn’t know about it and the Force is supposed to be strong there. However, I wouldn’t make it. It’s not exactly good for flying and surviving long term. Kijimi is the better option. Tons of illegal work to do, tons of people- better long term… or, longer term, I guess.”

 It’s hard not to tell him that I don’t really care what happens to him. I’m fine with going to Dagobah and immediately leaving him to die. More than fine with it, actually.

 I’ve heard of Kijimi. A few old petty criminals mentioned it on Bracca. Talik was there for a while too. “Kijime will do fine.”

 Garreth turns to the console again and presses more buttons, which whir and bleep and turn blue.

 “So, I have to ask- what’s your deal with the Jedi?”

 I’m taken aback at this. “My deal with the Jedi?”

 He rolls his eyes and smoothly puts us into hyperspace. “Are you actually one of them? We’ve got a few force users at our base who definitely weren’t, and I’ve never come across a Jedi that doesn’t speak in riddles.”

 “Give it time,” I reply, feeling his anger bubble slightly at my lack of cooperation. Maker, making people angry and uncomfortable brings me so much satisfaction.

 A beeping goes off suddenly. A screen that was previously off has now turned red and flashing with danger. I jolt forward and grip onto the edge of the console for balance. “Garreth?” I hiss.

 “Fuck if I know!” Garreth seethes back, pressing a button which raises two sticks and triggers. The screen previously flashing red moves to the front of him and now shows him an image I only get a brief glance of before he pushes my chair away from his. “Stay back there!”

 Garreth squeezes the triggers at something I can only guess at based on the sound it makes as it flies. It sounds like another Tie-Fighter. The ship bumps around violently, and with no seatbelt I resort to gripping my hands underneath the chair.

 “Ah, kriff.”

 BANG- our tiny Tie-Fighter is colliding with another and knocked out of hyperspace. We spin around and around, faster and faster until I lose my grip and fly to the ceiling. My back hits it flatly and sorely, the blades of my shoulders screaming and agony as I grunt.

 Garreth looks over his shoulder at me for a second before turning back to the console, which is beeping with more and more immediate warnings. I hit my head against the metal overhead and my vision goes blurry for a moment, then I am sent back towards the floor. This doesn’t help my stomach much at all, and I hear a sickening crack. Instinctively, my gloved palms fly to my head in any attempt to cover it, as if that will do something.

 Another hit sends sparks flying from above, and the screen flickers off. As our ship barrels in total darkness, Garreth lurches forward and smacks his head against the console. I am left in complete darkness, silence, and with the urge to vomit as I am tossed around.

 All I can do is cover my head and curl up into a ball on the floor, and wait for death again.

[twistedsinews]

4, 7, 8, 12, 15, and 19 for the Behind the Scenes asks?

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

I... can't say I've never outlined, but I've only done it for writing challenges I've signed up for that required it, and it never really felt like it helped me in the end because it's kinda a time sink when I'm on a deadline and could be writing prose.  ;>_>

But yeah, I practically never outline, outside of what's in my head.  Maybe I'd write longer or more coherent fic if I did, but I don't have the patience/skill for it.  The closest thing to an outline on paper is when I've thrown down multiple scenes at once.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Cohesive plot and high wordcount.  Not sure that I'm that great with pacing, either.

Which may be related to the above and outlining, I don't know.  :P

Getting the image (I am a very visual person, to the point I wish I could draw better because I'd give up on writing if I could get Exact Scene out of my head the way it is in my brain... and yes, I know drawing doesn't really do that but the illusion of it is there) out of my head and into prose is also kinda hit or miss, not because I can't do it but because I struggle to get it 'good enough' of an echo to what I 'see.'

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, share a song that’s been inspiring you lately.

Always.

While hammering away at all the Unavowed recently, I've been looping March of the Wise and This Could Be Home (first track).  Tho given how the plot unfolds in the latter half of the game, This Could Be Home as a track title and the overall feel of the piece kills me dead by drowning in feels if I get lost and think about it too much.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

...I don't know.  :o

I mean.

A true epic, I guess?  Something legit 200k+ words and deliciously thick with worldbuilding and adventure and strife.

Maybe someday.

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Probably nothing I've already written.  The best one that I can think of that would work relies on a plot twist that would be pretty much ruined from the first picture of the main character, and I'm not sure how you'd adapt around that.

Other than that, I have an almost entire Saints Row movie script lurking around in my head.  It's kinda awesome, but I doubt a producer would see it clearly.

Also, if I got a movie series with the production value and fidelity of the original LotR movies, I'd go with either the Ultima novelization or the Final Fantasy I one.  The latter would be straight up easy to adapt.

...realistically, if the choice were mine, I'd go with the SR one.  The other two would have to be boiled down, even if they gone one movie per ‘book.’  XD

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

The easiest tend to be magic critters that don't need to be explainable and don't play by the rules of reality.  That way if I mess it up I don't feel too bad.  XD

I also feel like I get wiggle room with OCs; for all that I rarely feel like they live up to their potential where I could be more creative or whatnot, at least I can’t really say they’re OoC most of the time.

On the flipside, I have... an obscenely difficult time with characters that I don't see in the same way as the rest of fandom.  Which can get difficult, and often lends itself to me rarely writing them.

There are two reasons for this: a fear of backlash (because I have been in some harsh fandoms) and, ultimately, self-doubt.  If everyone else sees them a different way than I do, who cares how close I stick to what I see in canon?  Obviously I must've missed something.  :P

no, I’m not naming names, why bring a skeptical eye to it.

[hnlijiug-a]

answer these questions then tag ten blogs you wanna get to know better!

nickname :  castiel - but also silvia is super duper okay for me~ star   sign :  capricorn. height :  163cm last time i checked, i should still be around that same height! favourite   music   artist : to be fair, seeing how much i’m into the dead cells ost lately, it’s probably valmont. but i’m all in for epic intrumental music in general. last   tv   show   you   watched :  poirot with david suchet. call me old style bUT I LOVE IT. what   kind   of   stuff   do   you   post :   i try to stick as much as possible to roleplay stuff and posts about my characters, and avoid ooc content as much as i can. i... don’t have that many threads at the moment though, especially here, so UHM-- do   you   have   any   other   blogs  ? :   for roleplaying blogs, check @castielrphub​ for the complete list - for my personal (that i barely use), it’s @cindersalad​, for my art blog, it’s @silvmakesart​. why  did   you   choose   your   url  ? : the huli jing is a fox from the chinese mythology, that either protects people or manipulates them. which is basically mianfei, sO- hogwarts   house :   i have no freaking idea, and the more i go on the more i am disinterested in them. i think gio once said i might be hufflepuff? pokemon   team : listen. give me a pangoro and i’m happy. but in general, fighting type pokemons, and i’m VERY happy. i’d surely have a pangoro and a hariyama. favourite   colour : gems’ colours are my favourite, they’re so nice...... especially sapphire blue, i adore sapphire blue. immediately followed by emerald green and rubin red. how   many   blankets   do   you   sleep   with  :  one, all the year. very light in summer, very warm in winter.

tagged by: @stxrmcatcher​ thANK UUU tagging: listen all of you already did it because you did this while i was sleeping..... just steal from me and tag me if you haven’t.

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 9 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 9

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

Check out my Patreon for more!!!

She was waiting outside, looking down at her shoes like it was the most interesting. She was about to turn and head back in to check the time. Of course he wouldn’t show up. Why would he?

“Shit.” Nikki grumbled as he pulled up by the sidewalk.  Leaving the car idling, he ran up to her and gently grabbed her hand, making her turn and look at him. “Sorry! I’m so sorry! Tommy borrowed my car to get gas for his bike and then he lost my keys and I was looking for them and by the time I found them, it was after 6 o’clock. I… if you want to cancel I can understand, but please let me make it up to you for being late?” Nikki rambled as he looked down at the ground in shame.

"Oh Nikki, I was scared that you changed your mind." She looked away. "That Tommy sounds like fun."

“Like a snake bite,” Nikki sighed. “I’m really sorry, I understand if you don’t want to see me again,” Nikki breathed. He felt like a failure, he let her down.

"Of course I want to see you silly boy." She smiled at him. "Off we go?" She held her hand out for him.

Nikki gave her a bright smile, “Let’s go sweet girl,” he pulled her in for a sweet deep kiss. “Lets go catch our movie first and then dinner.”

He helped her into the car and drove off towards the movie theater.  The opted to see The E.T the Extra Terrestrial, and Nikki found himself liking the movie and loving (Y/n) snuggling up to him. They were sharing a bag of popcorn and there were few times where their hands reached at the same time. NIkki let her eat most of it. He kissed her head during the movie letting her know he was enjoying her company.  It didn’t take long before he gently pulled her face up and began kissing her deeply. His hand cupped her face before running his fingers rently through her hair.

(Y/n)felt herself pressing up against him and giving a soft sigh. Nikki smirked against her lips at the sounds she made. Kissing her again he felt his heart pound in his chest and the bulge in his pants get bigger.  Shifting slightly to fix himself he broke the kiss and touched his nose against hers.

“I hope Chinese is ok for dinner,” he whispered to her.    

“I love Chinese food.” (Y/n) smiled. “It’s like you can read my mind.”

“What can I say,” Nikki kissed her again. “I know what my girlfriend likes,” he realized his words and blush. “That is if you want to be… mygirlfriend.” he rushed.

“Mr. Sixx, did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?” (Y/n) laughed.

“Yes… unless you think it’s too fast and i’m not good enough… and….” Nikki felt her lips on his, shutting him up.

“I would love to be your girlfriend Nikki Sixx.” She smiled at him.

As soon as the movie was over they made their way to the Chinese restaurant. Once at a booth Nikki relaxed and smiled.

“So, you have siblings, and they sound kind of… I don’t know, mean?” Nikki shrugged. “I don’t know how anyone who cannot appreciate that brain of yours.”

“My siblings are kinda idiots,” (Y/n) laughed. “My sister is smarter than my brother. Nessa likes to say that mom and dad were saving all the brains for me.” She sighed. “I just wish I was as cool as them.”

“You are cool,” Nikki argued. “I mean hey, you listen to us and Aerosmith, and I’m sure you listen to other artists I haven’t mentioned that are pretty cool.” NIkki reached for her hand as he shoveled a spoonful of fried rice into his mouth.

“The Beatles are my favorite band,” She shrugged. “My brother teases me, but I cried so hard when John Lennon died.”

“You and me both sweet girl,” Nikki said and smiled at her. “Your brother sounds like he doesn’t know good music even if it hits him in the ass.”

“Oh, I’m telling him that.” She laughed. “He’d probably go pout and blair his old Led Zeppelin records.”

Nikki laughed but forgot he was eating and almost choked on his food. Taking a sip of water and cleared his throat, “Your brother is lame to make fun of you but listen to Zep!”

“Right?” She took a sip of her drink. “I can appreciate all kinds of different music. Just not classical. Not too big on it.” She smiled at him. “Besides yourself, what’s your favorite band?”

“Well, Zeppelin is one, then you got Queen, Leapard, Ramones, Kiss.” Nikki smiled.

“God, I would love to go see Queen.” (Y/n) said. “Freddie Mercury has better eyelashes and makeup than I do though.” She laughed. “But, I think your makeup is pretty good too.”

NIkki chuckled, “Maybe I can score us some tickets when they come by.” (Y/n) smiled at him.

“Do you have a gig tomorrow night?” (Y/n) asked. “My brother wants to hang out and...I just wanna make sure I don’t miss anything.”

“Yeah, we’re playing at Whiskey tomorrow,” Nikki said. “Best part is we live right down the street from it,” he put money on the table for their food. They got up and headed out.

“That’s convenient.” (Y/n) laughed. “Bet it’s party central there.”

“Sometimes,” Nikki shrugs, “But the parties are boring without you.”

“I never was one for big parties. My brother and sister used to make me hang out in my room when they threw house parties, or they sent me off to Nessa’s. Think that’s when I started falling in love with muric.” She shrugged.

“Well, I think you would be a party animal,” Nikki said as he pulled her close as he walked with her along the street. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

“Who’s saying you can’t?” (Y/n) asked with a smile. “Might be the last time you get to before your bandmates interrupt us.”

“I got the best spot for us,” he smiled. “Come on”

“Where are we going?” (Y/n) asked as Nikki led her down the street. Nikki led her to his car and drove her to the Hollywood sign.

“I figured we can get a nice view,” he said as he parked the car and helped her out. Lifting her by her waist he sat her on the hood and sat by her. “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful.” She said, looking out of Los Angeles. “I’ve done day hikes up here, but never night. It’s gorgeous.”

NIkki was looking at her, “Yeah it is.” he smiled.

“Have you ever wanted to leave California?” (Y/n) asked him, staring down at the lights.

“I was born in San Jose, Mom moved around alot had a lot of shitty step-dads when my dad split.”  he sighed and looked at the scenery. “My childhood wasn’t a happy one.” She reached out and held his hand.

“I know my siblings were mean to me, but I can only imagine what you went through.” She leaned against him. “I hope that I can make you happy now though.”

“You already are making me happy sweet girl,” he whispered as he pulled her in for a kiss. One hand cupped her face, the other wrapped around her waist. “I feel like i’m falling real hard and fast for you (Y/n) I can’t explain it.”

“I think I might be falling for you too.” (Y/n) admitted, leaning in to kiss him again.

Nikki let his hands roam her body as his fingers found their way under her shirt. His lips moved from her mouth to her jaw, to her ear, and then down her neck. (Y/n) moaned softly, but slowly pushed him back.

“Nikki, I really like you, I do...but...I never...you know…” She looked down, ashamed.

“You mean you’re a...oh… OH!” Nikki caressed her cheek and moved her face so he could gaze into her eyes. “That just means I would need to plan a date in a more comfortable spot away from the guys.”  Nikki rasped. “That is if you still want to be with me… I won’t pressure you… I mean it’s your choice.”

‘I want to,” She told him. “Maybe a couple more dates?” She asked, afraid he’d be upset.

“Sounds like a plan,” he smiled as he brought her in for a kiss. “How about I take you home?”

“Sounds great.” She smiled and slid off the hood with him. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Anything for my girl,” he said helping her into the car and driving her home holding her hand the whole way. He pulled up at the dorm.

“Thank you Nikki.” She smiled at him. “I had a great time. And I’ll be at the concert tomorrow night, barring inconvenience. I don’t have any classes tomorrow after my 8 am.”

“Maybe I can sneak away for a few to come make out with you?” Nikki wiggled his eyebrows as he parked next to the sidewalk to her dorm. Leaning over he pulled her in for another kiss. “Sorry, I just can’t help myself.”

“I think I’d love that.” She kissed him again. “I can’t get enough of that.”

“Ok, I’ll see what I can do just tell me where you’ll be at and I can meet you.” Nikki smiled kissing her again.

“Okay.” She kissed him one more time. “I probably should get in. Thank you for everything again Mr. Sixx.”

“Ok, sweet girl.” he whispered before kissing her again. “I’ll call you when I get to my apartment just to make sure you’re ok.” he whispered.

“I might be asleep, so please don’t be upset if I don’t answer.” (Y/n) told him. “Goodnight Nikki.” She kissed his cheek and headed towards the door, where Vanessa was waiting.

Nikki drove off towards his home as Vanessa ushered Y/N to her dorm. “So...how was it?”

“Amazing.” (Y/n) said dreamily. “I really like him Nessa. Would you want to go see Motley Crue tomorrow night? Athena might want to go too.”

“Does that mean I get to meet the infamous Vince Neil?” she said. “Rumor has it he’s really good in bed.”

“Sure, we’ll set you up.” (Y/n) laughed. “Let’s go get some sleep. I’ve got an 8 am.” They headed to Vanessa’s room. She had a double room, but no room mate. “I need to tell him I don’t really live here.”

“Do it sooner rather than later,” she sang. “So how should I dress tomorrow?”

“Jeans and I’ll let you borrow one of my band tees.” (Y/n) told her. “You’ll knock him dead.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Vanessa sighed as she gave (Y/n) some PJ's to sleep in. “So… are you and Nikki going to…. have a deflowering ceremony?” she batted her eyes at (Y/n).

“Oh my god.” (Y/n) groaned. “We talked about it. I think he wanted to tonight and I told him I’d never...and he seemed okay with waiting.” She sighed. “He’ll probably just find another girl on the side, right?”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Vanessa smiled. “He seems happy with you.”

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @flamencodiva @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @motleycrying @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx

Nikki Sixx Tags:  @daisystuffsstuff

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12

[rainydawgradioblog]

Interview: Guerilla Toss - 09/26 @ the Vera Project

Guerilla Toss is a NYC-based experimental rock / synthpop / psychedelic / post-funk / prog-whatever / everything in between band signed to DFA records who is currently touring all throughout the continental US. This past Saturday, before their show with Calvin Johnson and Behavior at the Vera Project, my friend Anna and I were graciously invited into their tour van decked out with psychedelic decorations to chat with vocalist Kassie Carlson and hang out with her internet-famous Chow-Chow Watley. Enjoy the interview and catch them in these cities in the coming weeks!

Elliott: Hey! Thanks for taking the time to talk to me! How are you doing?

Kassie: Good, good! Just got done with soundcheck.

Elliott: Cool! How far into your tour are you guys at this point?

Kassie: Not that far actually, we’ve only done four dates or something, but we drove out here.

Elliott: That’s a long drive.

Anna: You guys just did Salt Lake, right?

Kassie: Yup, Diabolical Records. We were just in Portland, then Vancouver, then here.

Elliott: Cool, enough talking like a normal person, I’m gonna ask you a bunch of convoluted questions now. First of all, this bill is kind of wild, Calvin Johnson is another one of my favorite artists. How did this show come together? Are you guys big K Records fans?

Calvin Johnson and band opening the show.

Kassie: Calvin actually played at our light and projections person’s record store in Macon, GA. So that’s how we made the connection, and Calvin was really interested in coming here!

Watley gets up and walks around.

Elliott: Hi Watley!

Kassie: Sit! Watley…

Elliott: Have you had any other particularly cool openers this tour so far, or in recent memory?

Kassie: Well, the other opener tonight is Behavior, a couple members of Wand, the drummer and guitarist, so I’m really excited about that!

Elliott: Nice, I just saw Wand open for Stereolab!

Kassie: Cool, yeah, it’s an epic bill.

Elliott: I’m excited! I also noticed last time I saw you guys, you busted out a violin which was a bit unexpected but really cool! Are there any other instruments members play that you would maybe want to use on Guerilla Toss stuff?

Kassie: I also recently got an OP-1, which has been cool to experiment with. There’s lots of sounds, and this guy Cuckoo on Patreon puts a lot of samples for the OP-1 online for super cheap, like you can buy stuff for a dollar. He always puts up new stuff, so I’ve been getting down that rabbit hole, but yeah! I’ll be playing it tonight, it should be fun!

Anna: That’s a difficult purchase to make these days! Those things are not easy to come by.

Kassie: Yeah, me and the drummer split it. And we got it on eBay or something, it was used.

Anna: Those things are great.

Elliott: I’ve also heard you guys like to do band hikes. I also interviewed your friends Palberta on Rainy Dawg a while ago…

Watley steps on voice recorder, and tries to get out of the van door.

Kassie: Watley!

Elliott: Haha! Anyway… Palberta told me they bring a rice cooker and camp every night on tour. Are there any other activities people typically forgo on tour that you like to make time for?

Kassie: Yeah, we just went to Moab on this tour, to the arches. It’s good to get out of the van and stretch your legs a bit. That was fun. It’s cool to drive around, sometimes there’s not time to do the hiking thing, but we took some days off this time around so we’re not in the car for 8 hours. It’s good for morale.

Anna: Moab especially, it’s so nice.

Kassie: Yeah I’d never been, so it was cool to make it out there.

Elliott: So, it feels lately like vocals being more forefront in recent material, that the music is driven more by lyrics and melody. I got into you guys via Gay Disco, but my favorite of yours is GT Ultra. It feels like my experience as a listen has changed a lot, you cover a lot of ground in that there’s different ways to enjoy Guerilla Toss as a listener. Do you feel like your writing process has significantly changed?

Kassie: Well we’ve mostly just been shifting things around and trying different things to keep it fresh. It’s lots of fun, yeah!

Elliott: And about writing stuff, I know you’re very into jamming, you improv a lot live. Does writing material ever come out of that?

Kassie: We mostly just improv between songs. They’re all through-composed, and all have parts that are pretty specific. Sometimes we’ll write songs by jamming for a few hours, but a lot of the time, say Peter (drummer) will come in with a part of a song, or a skeleton of a song, or even a full song, which is how it’s mostly been lately, and then I’ll put some vocals on it, and we’ll try different things, different instrumentation.

Anna: Are there any members that bring more in terms of song structure?

Kassie: Definitely Peter brings the most, but I do all the vocals, everyone does their respective parts.

Elliott: Cool! Do you have a particular favorite piece of gear? Anything that might have inspired a song or a moment in a song?

Kassie: Yeah, I have a red Boss V-20 vocal pedal, that I use a lot and I really like. I use it for harmonies, there’s chorus on there, there’s delay and reverb, harmonies and doubling. I feel like it just helps my voice feel a lot thicker and more present, you know. It gives me more control over my sound. A lot of the time in venues, especially DIY venues, it can get buried. And also I want to be more true to the recording, like in “Betty Dreams of Green Men,” there’s those harmonies that come in off and on, so I use the pedal to create that harmony.

Anna: And what you said about DIY shows, getting sounds that are accurate. Do you play a lot of stuff like that now?

Kassie: No, not as much lately. But even in bars and stuff, it can be tough. We don’t travel with a sound person, we’re not playing stadiums.

Anna: Is that a shift that you miss at all?

Kassie: Not really. I like being able to hear myself when I sing, so it doesn’t hurt my voice as much. Of course I love the vibe of DIY venues but there’s good things in the middle, where your friends from DIY shows will come, but it won’t get shut down, and we have money for gas and stuff like that.

Elliott: Gas money is definitely important.

Trucks passing by.

Kassie: Watley’s scared of the trucks…

Elliott: So I have a question that’s part fun fact, part question. Your Wikipedia page, where it says you encourage tapers at your show, it used to say you encouraged tapirs, like the weird little animal. It was a typo but it actually linked to the tapir page!

Kassie: Oh weird! I didn’t notice but that is sick.

Elliott: Yeah, someone actually linked it to the page!

Kassie: That’s awesome!

Elliott: So that got me thinking, there probably haven’t been many tapirs at Guerilla Toss shows, but I think it would be sick! What sort of animals would you want to see at a Guerilla Toss shows? Also, these hypothetical animals have all the hypothetical ear protection they need.

Kassie: A lot more chows! We also really like otters. We were talking a lot during our soundcheck about snails. So snails would be cool. Snails all over the place. But really animal would be interesting!

Anna: Species-inclusive venue!

Kassie: Yeah! Oh, and bison, Watley loves bison. A few cows. He loves cows, he’s always looking at me like “Mom, did you see that? Woah, look there’s cows!” Yeah, good boy!

Elliott: Does Watley have a favorite Guerilla Toss song? Is he gonna get a feature anytime soon?

Kassie: He might actually, yeah!

Anna: A bark sample, that must be fun to work with on the OP-1! 

Kassie: Yeah, that’s one of the many things that are on my to-do list for sure.

Elliott: Hell yeah, I’m stoked for that whenever it happens. You guys seem to have a lot of collabs, one-off releases, live albums, splits and stuff. Do you usually come into those thinking “we’re gonna write an album” or just a song, or working with somebody, or is your writing process usually the same for those?

Kassie: We usually just create a whole album, we only did that one split with the Sediment Club. The live album was a cool project, that was completely live, we recorded it in Nashville.

Elliott: You also have that remix album with Jay Glass Dubs?

Kassie: Oh yeah, that was just a DFA thing, he totally did that himself.

Elliott: Cool! So visuals are clearly an important part of Guerilla Toss, I was wondering if you look at these different forms of visuals in the same way, like do you tie in live projections, music videos, album art or do you view them separately?

Kassie: They’re kinda separate. Lots of different people do our album art. Keith Rankin did a few, the most recent one was by someone named Yu Maeda, and before that was Jacob van Loon, he did Twisted Crystal. And then GT Ultra is actually acid strips from the 70s.

Anna: That one was a particularly cool design. Do you mostly reach out to the artists to do the art?

Kassie: Thank you! And yeah, it’s usually something they already have done that we use, but a couple of the ones from Keith Rankin were commissions.

Elliott: Cool! So, I feel like your albums tend to have a coherent sonic palette, but they cover a lot of ground as far as the songs go. Do you come into recording an album with a bunch of songs you’ve written or do you write specifically for an album?

Kassie: I think Peter is pretty much always writing music, and we already have new music we’re working on for after What Would The Odd Do, so it’s just kind of a constant stream of stuff, lots of never-ending recording and never-ending writing.

Elliott: Cool, well I didn’t write anything else down.

Kassie: Alright! Any other random questions?

Elliott: Not that I can think of. I’m excited to see you guys play!

Kassie: Hell yeah!

Anna: Actually, I usually ask touring bands this. What kind of stuff have you been listening to on the way over?

Kassie: Oh all kinds of things! Listened to a little Battles.

Elliott: Oh nice! The new one, Juice B Crypts?

Kassie: All of the albums! I think it was a consensus that we liked the earlier albums better, but hey, that’s something people always say. I like it all! It’s pretty cool.

Elliott: Cool, well thank you for letting us in the van and talking with us!

Kassie: Of course! Can you unhook that leash?

Elliott: Sure!

Kassie: (to Watley) Let’s go pee!

- Elliott Hansen