#THIS HAVE BEEN IN MY MIND FOR GOD KNOW HOW LONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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mpn arena mode could be dating sim if you look extremely very closely did anyone here get me
#THIS HAVE BEEN IN MY MIND FOR GOD KNOW HOW LONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#Im so sad I couldnt find fanfic that have any of this ship#but to be fair this probably counts as 'x y/n' too#madness project nexus#madness combat#myart
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it just must have been nice to have a companion who wasnt trying to kill you (at the time)
#do i make myself emotional thinking about how chell spent who knows how long testing alone#then was asleep for LMAO YEARS#then finally idk has someone whos genuinely trying to help her#cause he was!#and OF COURSE SHE KNOWS HES AN IDIOT#like absolutelt chell knows hes a dumbass but at least its SOMEONE on her side#portal 2#i arted#wheatley#chell#sorry i should have GONE OFF after i tagged it but whTever#i aint out here shipping this cause#he is a dumb man#but i wont negate how nice it must have been for chell to have someone With her yknow#EVEN TALKING i bet she didnt mind him going off and off cause whens the last time she listened to anyone who wasnt trying to end her life#i have such deep feelings about chell and glados but rn yhis aint about them#god i just see chell when wheatley turns bad hitting her head against the elevator like I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING#i am#so full of portal emotions sorru for my tag essay i have more i wanna say but maybe ill just draw it instead
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Having undiagnosed chronic illnesses really is just every day feeling the crushing weight of your own mortality and worrying that you’re not doing enough to make your life have meaning bc you could die any moment for all you know
#death tw#like god imagine not being scared out of your mind that you won't have the time to do anything you really wanted to do#idk how much is wrong with me I don't know how sick I even am I could be dying and have no clue or I could be overreacting but I'm just#so scared I'll die here without having done anything in life I actually wanted to do#I envy abled people so fucking much sometimes like they just have to worry about staying safe and practicing basic self care and they know#they won't die unless they're extremely unlucky#they don't have to have scary symptoms every day or play games of 'do I need to go to the ER or is this normal' frequently#imagine being like that... just. not having to worry about so much so often I cannot even imagine that#I joke like haha my tummy hurts a little too much I am passing away <3#but I genuinely fear for my life over various symptoms every day every time I get a new pain or a new symptom I have to worry about it like#is this it? is this the thing that does it? is it? and it's not it never is but I know that one day it will be#The oldest I can ever imagine being is 36 honestly. and that's like. Old.#if I make it to 30 I'll consider myself lucky I genuinely cannot fucking imagine having a life expectancy into the 60s there's just no#fucking way no matter how long I want to stay here#in this economy with this many problems I'm lucky if I live another 5 or 6 years probably like super fuckign lucky I'm worried any day will#be my last what the fuck is it like not to worry about that? not to have been worried about that since I was a small child??#I just don't understand it#vent tw
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OH MY GOD i literally just found out “smh” means “shaking my head” and NOT “somehow” and my life is flashing before my eyes
#this is so much worse than the ofc thing#i am straight up losing my mind over this#i need people to know i have never used it correctly before and wtf#like wtf wtf wtf#how was i using it so wrong?#HOW???#when did i decide that’s what it meant?#where did i go wrong?#i am SO confused#i am losing my mind over this wtf#dominic was just like ‘wait did you just read that as somehow?’ and then blew my mind like#how did this happen???#how have i been using it wrong for literal years?#how did no one correct me before?#this seems so unlikely to have gone on for so long#so ppl just think i’m crazy shaking my head all the time or smt?#OH MY GOD does smt not mean ‘something’ too?????#guys fr wtf this broke me i’m dead done over WTF!?!?????#i’m rethinking my entire life rn BYE#is this actually a thing? do people actually not use smh as ‘somehow’!?!?!!#i need answers i am a mess over this like how!?!?? how did i get it so wrong for so long !?!?!??!#how did no one notice!?!?!?#those are not even close in meaning they won’t fit in the same place in sentences people must have known i was doinn it wrong oh my god#anyway this broke me
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I know it’s the holiday season but I’m getting so frustrated 😩 my albums I ordered two weeks ago still haven’t shipped from kpopusa despite it being 5 days since they received the one preorder album, plus it always takes a week or more for it to get to me after they ship so odds are I won’t be getting the Christmas album I ordered until after Christmas, and then a present that I ordered for my aunt arrived in my city on the 9th but doesn’t look like it’s even going to be delivered today because the tracking hasn’t updated since the 9th except to say “your package will arrive later than expected, but it is on the way. It is currently in transit to the next facility.” Like what the fuck my city isn’t that big. I had two other packages arrive in the city and then the next day they were at my house so I don’t understand why this one (which isn’t even something large) is just sitting somewhere in transit between facilities
#I’m just ☹️ I want kpopusa to ship my albums#at this rate I’m gonna get all my Universe albums before I get these others that released TWO WEEKS before#this is why I’ve started ordering from ktown because they at least normally ship out like 2 or 3 days after release at the latest#and then it gets to me within that week#but most US stores it takes so long and I want immediate gratification lol#that’s why when I go to target and see albums I struggle to not just buy albums#like today I’m going shopping with my grandma for another present for my aunt and if we go to target and there’s classic ver of favorite at#this target that haven’t been cut open I just might buy one even though I told myself not to#because I spent too much money on albums at the beginning of this month already#so im thinking maybe instead I’ll order like the 127 season’s greetings after Christmas and if ktown still has the sticker ver of sticker#I’ll order another one of those bc the way I have my photocards organized I’ll have one blank spot in front of my nct 2021 page I have set#up so I need one more pc to fill that spot#I also can’t decide if I should get one more photobook version of universe and collect yuta this time too#but it’s already hard enough to collect three members imo I don’t know how people collect all the members#like when I watch shawolzenl’s photocard collection videos and see her nct 2020 collection#it truly blows my mind like the amount of money she had to spend to collect ot23 for resonance era#that’s like a minimum of 92 cards counting only the actual PCs from the actual albums#not the yearbook cards or the access cards or the IDs or the 92 other kihno cards which I can’t remember if she collected those too#but like god damn that just sounds so expensive and difficult#like I struggled for months just to get kun doyoung and ten’s 4 album cards each#and I still can’t believe I pulled doyoung’s kihno when I really wanted Kun’s like that is the only time I’ve ever been disappointed to pull#Doyoung’s card but I still really really really want Kun’s pretty Past ver kihno card like the one in the from home outfit with the sunset#it’s just so pretty#anyway I’ve rambled in these tags long enough lol I need to actually go get ready to leave the house
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TT TT
#i said i won't come on but i just got this achy feeling inside of me and i have to talk smwhere ..#i love ch/an... 🤕#ok this ain't news or smth but#i love him so much jsjsndkdks 😞❤️🩹#i know i'm getting sappy bc his bday is getting closer but you guys i really fjddnkxmsks i just love him#😞 i'm really thinking how it's been 4 years with him and how i have loved you like this so long like we have been together this long i hope#be happy and continue to run with you#idk why i'm feeling so sentimental 😕 i saw my day counter with chan out of the corner of my eye and usually i don't pay any mind but wow ..#it's just really already been this long huh 😣 like how.. it doesn't even feel real you know...#😞💖 i'm so grateful to him all the time for making me smile and laugh or even cringe like whatever u know .. like i'm having fun and you are#a reason why i get to laugh or make smth cool.. like 🤕 idk whatever man it's not serious but#i really love u dude .. like you've changed my life etc etc i met so many new people bc of you bc of s/kz like 😞#NDKDNXKXMDKD#IK IM ONLY FEELING THIS SAPPY BC HIS BDAY IS ALMOST HERE IM FEELING SO PATHETIC FOR EVEN BEING THIS EMOTIONAL BUT 😀😀😀 my god my heart aches#like wtf !#okay idk why i got so overwhelmed suddenly .. i'm ok now 🚶♂️ just had to get it off my chest before class LMAO 😭😭😭 i'm so sad...#li.txt#anyway i love u my angel.. always take care of yourself and be happy ☹️💖
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been thinkin abt a haircut
#i will not literally do that but i HAVE been thinking abt it expecially bc its so fucking hot. oh my god its warm#this is my hair after more than 1 year not getting it cut (covid and all). its actually a bit longer than i drew it here i think.#before that i had the same haircut for.... at least 3 years? maybe more??#if you look at a picture of korra in s3 you have a pretty good image of how that looked like.#i look good with that & i want shorter hair again ive just also been thinkin about changing it up.......! like go shorter#but i dont really know. nothing comes to mind immediately and i wouldnt know what to look for either...#i do look good with long hair too but it looks best when its open. and i dont like have long hair open its so annoying for real#i guess........ sigh........ it feels like a big decision to get a haircut even though its literally not. my hair grows pretty fast#rosa art#rosa talk
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I still have to rewatch the ep. I watched untik two am of course my perseption of it is a lil wonky and that's Cool. I just.. rn i'm like
Man i just Rly hope that essek and caleb don't spend the rest of their lives repenting. I just want them to be happy
#critical role spoilers#muffin rambles#im not sure how to deal w this deep rooted ... what even is it like... dread?????? that either of them wouldnt he happy#i spend so much if my time just pushing negativity to the way way way back of my mind at all times and its like#the idea that they wouldnt be happy is unreasonably upsetting to me#emphasis on unreasonably#like ik its stupid#and ill feel better once i let it go but urgh i dont have it in me to rewatch the end rn bc its so long but i kinda gotta to let it go prope#ah well#ruvi has intense feels abt everything#whos surprised#not a soul#hey @ my psychologist u could hmu anytime u want lmaoo god knows i need it#stupid emotional dystegulation always getting in the way of my enjoyment of life and my relationships too#not like ive been overreacting online since i found out i could#what did i neven do before that#i was just in my head all the time#personal#dont rb
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bruh also im so insecure lately. am i............self centered. do i...........have...an ego complex...am i..... overbearing.......etc
#PAX THIS IS UNRELATED TO WHAT U SAID. i was thinking about it BEFORE so dont even say anything#im so NOT egotistical and etc in my own mind and like...view of the world#but i feel like i come across that way in like. real life#i know its a result of like. being basically by mself for so long and just stagnating#and having no like interaction w strangers#idk how to explain the correlation but im certain thats it#amm i.......... pretentious#i say things like 'correlation' and 'certain'......#i cant even HELP it i just like read too many books as a kid and adopted this like. manner#<- THAT SOUNDS PRETENTIOUS AND EGOTISTICAL#ITS LIKE I CANT STOP#i would never be self centered in my ACTIONS#the best way to explain what i mean by that is like#have you ever been holding a small animal while walking. and then you trip and fall#but you twist in a way that you hold the animal to your chest and land on your back...but the animal is safe#in your arms...on top#thats my personal way of going about things just in life#like consciously what i make an effort to do#well with animnals it is like instinctual. but. with other people too...i always try#and it comes very naturally to me but also. HOLY GOD...HOLY JESUS#IM MONOLOGUING RIGHT NOW#<- PRETENTIOUS AND EGOTISTICAL#even the WORD monologuing#HELP ME PLEASE. I CANT DO THIS#my dad is SO ostentatious i had to have gotten it from him#THE WORD OSTENTATIOUS....i have to stop
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this pandemic is driving me insane
#ive been stuck at home for god knows how long#unable to find a new job cause lockdowns are on and off and unable to renew my old contract because the shop had to cut down on staff#classes going from online to in-presence every month and making me lose all my concentration and motivation#now all i do is literally do the chores and look at my so-called friends go wherever they want without having a care for safety#i used to be much more productive just thinking of it is sucking the life out of me#i used to tutor ppl i used to go out i used to visit places i used to work i used to do THINGS#might as well fuck around and re-enroll in old hellish studies so at least i can feel something#this isn't gonna change for a while and im not very happy about it in fact i am already losing my mind#FREE MEEEEEEE#didi rambles
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FUCK ITS 4AM
#i have been drawing grace budd for the past god knows how long#omg ok im going to watch a dumb video to get my mind off of serial killers and go to bed#elle.txt
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#god#my everything hurts and I’ve been fighting tears for over half an hour now and didn’t even get a warm meal out of it#but yes. get upset with me because I put my backpack in the floorboards instead of holding it in my lap Bc I can’t handle having that little#space rn. thank you. I really fucking appreciate that.#don’t mind me#i’m just complaining#guess who’s not gonna have dinner at a reasonable time Bc THEYRE going to have to lay on the bathroom floor for fuck knows how long in a#probably useless attempt to not be in pain#*dabs*
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Jaspvid Week 2020: Day 5 - AU Day
(AO3) @jaspvid-week
this is so late AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
And They Were Supposed to Waltz Together Under the Light of the Moonlight as Fate Foretold
Summary: Being a toy, Jasper is aware that there are only so many things he can look forward to in life. One of which is being adopted by a child. But that was pretty much all he expected from his life. That is, until a new set of toys come into the shop. And suddenly, there is so much more to his life that he wants from it. And so much more he wants to share with the doll behind the glass.
Word Count: 6082
There is a little toy shop just off the beaten path, where the busy city folk forget to glance down as they make their way to and fro from place to place. Hidden away in an alley, tucked between the quiet coffee shop and secondhand bookstore that only a few know to take solace in, this little toy shop houses a few forgotten joys and wonders that the old, wrinkled man calmly cares for day in and day out.
And every night, when the old, wrinkled man leaves to go home, the toys come to life.
For in this tiny shop lies life beyond what the mind knows to be true.
A little toy soldier, wooden and dusty, blinks before he looks around, making sure that the coast is clear before he stands up and stretches. Life begins again, and he begins the same routine he’s followed since the day he received his name.
But today is a little different, isn’t it? He looks over to the display case across from his shelf, where new residents are hiding from the rest of the shop.
"Jasper!" A soft plush of a cat calls to him from the ground, stretching her limbs like a real cat would and yawning as she does so. "Have you heard?"
"Hey, Gwen." The toy soldier smiles as he lowers his arms, the springs inside his wooden limbs squeaking slightly as he does so. "I didn't need to hear, I'm high enough up here to see everything perfectly fine."
"Whatever. Just hurry up and get down here." She rolls her beady eyes as she sits up on the floor. All around them, the toys begin their daily bouts of getting up and moving around. Dolls and other stuffed animals gently lower themselves from their bins and greet friends from the other side of the store. Plastic action figures begin tugging the pillow off the old man's chair behind the counter. With it, they carefully place it under the shelves and call for their friends to jump off and onto the cushy surface. Right on cue, the pillow is dragged over to the shelf housing Jasper and his companions, all of them leaping to the floor with practiced ease. Gwen pads over to him as she lowers her head. He laughs, gently petting her fluffy head with his formless hand. She quickly lays down and lets him climb on, his hands and arms slipping safely under her ribbon collar. "All tucked away?"
"As well as I can be."
"I'd say hang on but you don't have fingers."
"Haha." Nonetheless, he smiles as she trots over to the glass display case behind the counter. Already a group of toys have gathered on top of the counter as the biggest bear in the shop carefully lifts them up. Gwen waits her turn as the bear hoists them up silently, nodding to them in greeting as the pair look towards the display case with the others.
A new group of toys have made it into the toy store. While this event itself isn't too uncommon, what catches everyone's attention is the fragility of these toys. Hand-painted with decorative clothing and ball joints for easy moving and posing, the collection of precious porcelain dolls sit quietly in the display case.
Not moving.
The toys whisper among themselves as they watch with unease.
"Why aren't they moving?"
"Do they not know?"
"How new are they?"
Jasper keeps silent, the light of the moon highlighting the porcelain dolls with a soft shine he's rarely seen in the shop. There's two of them, sitting side by side against an ornate castle that looks too decorative to be played with. Their clothing looks just as gorgeous - one has a long, beautiful gown of royal purple, with golden vine-like designs curling and climbing up to rest gently by her waist sewn in, and of course, a layer of lavender tulle that seems to be common for all princess dolls nowadays. The princess is beautiful, Jasper won't deny that, with her curly hair falling in waves onto her bare shoulders, and her proud, golden eyes framed by her long lashes.
As beautiful as she is, however, Jasper finds more of his attention taken by the prince standing next to her, wearing a navy tunic with similar golden embroidery, a cape to match, and a decorative sword hanging from the belt around his waist. Red hair is styled proudly as it can't decide whether to clash or compliment the clothing the prince wears, and emerald eyes stare straight ahead, looking nearly gentle in nature.
And, like all good princes do, his arm is looped to let his princess hold onto him inside the case.
Beautiful.
Jasper continues to stare, head tilted to the side as he watches the two dolls remain lifeless.
"Do you think they need someone to tell them to wake up?"
"Probably. Doesn't look like they'll do it themselves."
"Maybe it's the glass." He slips his arms out and pats her head, pointing with his hand. "Maybe they can't hear us, so they don't know there's life out here."
"Maybe." She tilts her head slightly to get a glimpse of him. "What are you planning?"
"You make it sound bad." He grins and looks to Big Bear. "Mind giving me a lift?"
"Jasper-"
"Relax!" Big Bear gently picks him up while Gwen watches with an annoyed glare. "I promise, it's nothing big. Heya Big Bear, put me down in front of the case. Right on the ledge there." As the bear puts him down gently, Jasper looks over himself. He's presentable, right? It's not like his outfit can change much. Everything is painted on with care, but he's sure there's bits of him chipping somewhere.
Actually, now that he thinks about it, he's pretty bottom-tier for toys when compared to the porcelain dolls inside the case.
It makes him hesitate, suddenly wondering if it's too late to back out. He wanted to greet them, welcome them to the shop, but maybe he's not the greatest looking toy to welcome them. Gwen could have worked much better - her dark brown fur is shiny and new, even though she's been here almost as long as him. The dust just doesn't settle on her like it does on him and dang, actually, is he dusty too?
He looks back to the toys on the counter, and they all watch him curiously. Will he do it? Can he do it? He looks back to the dolls encased in glass, and it's when he notices that, up close, the red-haired doll has the softest smile on his face.
And for a minute, he wonders how the doll will look when he smiles a real smile, a smile that isn't painted on and is the result of the sweetest laughter, the gentlest of spoken reminders. Jasper thinks he'd like to see the prince smile at him with a soft smile that's caused because of him.
He lifts his wooden hand to the case and knocks on it.
At first, nothing happens.
So he knocks again.
...Nothing.
"Try knocking harder!" A voice calls out behind him. Murmurs from the rest of the toys agree. So he does.
Still nothing.
Frowning, he lowers his hand and sighs. Maybe the glass was just too-
Movement. A blink.
Jasper rubs his eyes. No. He didn't imagine that, did he? He knocks again.
Golden eyes blink again. Then green.
And then the princess looks at him.
"They... they're awake." He turns back to the toys behind him, waving excitedly. "They're awake!" The toys cheer as he turns back to the case and gestures for the dolls to come closer. "It's okay!"
For a minute, neither of the dolls seem keen to move. But the princess takes a careful step forward. Swings her free arm. Looks to her prince curiously before saying something Jasper can't hear. Her prince looks more hesitant, but he too takes a step. Then another. Swings his own arm before releasing his princess to look at his hands. He touches his face, before reaching up to gently cup his princess' face. She grins and cups his in return, and though Jasper can't hear them, he swears that they must be laughing together.
He knocks on the glass again, drawing their attention. The prince keeps his smile as he looks over to Jasper and he swears that there's something about the prince that takes his breath away. As the prince approaches, Jasper notices that there's a little hop to his step. Instead of dignified strides, the prince walks with a giddy little bounce so unlike the image he is supposed to present that it makes Jasper chuckle. The princess takes her time in coming over, just as curious as the prince but more wary. He waves to the both of them and smiles.
"Hello!" The two dolls look to each other before turning back to Jasper with confused stares. Frowning, he cups his hands around his mouth and yells. "HELLO!"
The dolls on the other side say something, but he can't hear a word.
Oh no.
The glass is that thick?
"They can't hear me." Jasper turns back to the toys on the counter. "And I can't hear them!"
"Is there a way to get the case open?" Gwen stands from where he left her and explores the counter with the other toys. "Is it locked?"
Jasper looks around the front of the case and spies a silver keyhole near the top corner of it. He runs to it, trying to raise himself up high enough to reach it, but it remains well out of his reach. Frowning, he examines the bottom part of the case, trying to find where the case can be opened in hopes of wedging something between the spaces. He runs around the front of it, unable to examine the sides or top part of the case. The prince follows his movements, looking where he looks and turning back to talk to his princess every once in a while.
Jasper tries to wedge the edges of his hand into what looks like a possible opening and grunts.
Nothing.
"It's locked!" He calls back to Gwen as she and the other toys mess with the cash register. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to figure out how this thing works." He hears her grumble before her paw slaps at the keys. "Damn!"
"You think the key for it is in there?"
"Yeah, probably. A few of the toys mentioned seeing a key in here once or twice before, so it might be for that case." She looks back at him with a disgruntled look on her face. "We're gonna mess with it for a while, but it might be a few days before we figure it out."
"You think anyone on the shelves saw how the old man used it?"
"We'll ask. What are you gonna do?"
What is he going to do?
There's not much he can do from the outside of the case - all he knows is that it's locked, and there's nothing he can do to wedge it open. But maybe...
"I'm gonna try and see if they can do anything from the inside!"
"But how?? Didn't you say that they couldn't hear you??"
"I'm just..." He looks back to the prince, who hasn't stopped following him the entire time. Up close, he notices that the doll has little dots adorning his face. Freckles, he realizes, as the doll tilts his head to the side and presses a delicate hand up to the case. He watches as the doll pushes, frowns, and pushes again. A panicked look crosses his features as he turns to his princess and calls to her. From this close, Jasper can almost hear his voice, muffled and faint but still there.
He wishes he can hear the prince's voice in full clarity.
The princess comes over with a frown as she pushes at the glass. When it doesn't budge, he can see the creases in her brow deepen. She turns back to the prince and says something, which in turn makes the prince freak out. As she holds her hands out to placate the panicking doll, Jasper looks over to where their castle stands and wonders what props and little toys could be hiding in there. He taps on the glass to get their attention, and both dolls look over to him with varying levels of stress and anxiety.
He looks to the both of them and presses a hand up to the glass.
And he smiles. Comforting, he hopes. Gentle, he prays. And hopeful. Because with the reality of their situation settling into their minds, they need all of that and more.
"Don't worry," he says, mouthing the words carefully as he speaks, "we'll get you out."
////
Days in the store are slow, usually. All of them sit still and watch as maybe a customer or two pop in, and if they're lucky, a few of them may even find new homes to go to, with children who are excited to play with them holding the lucky few close to their chest. But the ones who remain now have a different goal in mind.
To free the two dolls trapped in the glass case.
A few dolls have placed themselves closer to the cash register, slowly edging themselves closer as the days go by to get a glimpse at how the old man operates it. Gwen has been talking with the other stuffed animals, trying to see what they can do about the case from the outside without making it too obvious that something was off about the toys.
And Jasper?
He kneels by the case, working with Big Bear to try picking the lock. One of the toys had said that they've seen on TV of humans using paperclips and the like to open locks, and while they didn't have any paperclips lying around, Jasper was willing to try using whatever was thin and small to wedge it into the keyhole.
"Annnnd..." Big Bear holds him up silently, Jasper's arms working as he tries to hear a clicking sound from the lock. Instead, he hears a snapping noise as the little plastic sword he was given breaks. He sighs, pulling out the broken pieces and letting them drop to the floor. "...nothing."
"Nothing?" Another wooden soldier similar to him helps him out of Big Bear's paws and back onto the glass case ledge. "Damn, I thought that would work."
"It was worth a shot. I guess it really does have to be something metal?"
"Maybe." The other soldier points him to the case. "I'll keep looking around for other things to use. Maybe the Barbie dolls have some things we can use. The prince has been waiting for you, by the way."
"He has?" Jasper perks up a bit, making his friend snicker at his eagerness.
"Yeah, keeps watching you trying to unlock their cage and making these scared gestures every time you looked like you were going to fall down. Here he comes right now."
Right on cue, the prince comes to a halt by his side of the glass, hands pressed up against the glass as he looks over Jasper worriedly. The blonde soldier salutes Jasper with a smirk before letting Big Bear carry him off to the floor.
The prince knocks on the glass delicately, grabbing Jasper's attention. Jasper smiles and presses his hand up on the glass in greeting. The prince wastes no time in gesturing for Jasper to turn, making the brunette roll his eyes as he complies. He turns on the spot slowly, showing to the prince that he is, once again, unharmed from his endeavor. The prince's shoulders relax as he visibly lets out a sigh of relief, his smile more calm now that he's confirmed that Jasper was okay.
When there's nothing left for Jasper to do, he tends to find himself back in front of the prince. Just like now, he sits down as the prince joins, happily watching as the ginger gestures wildly about something. The prince is saying something, but his lips are moving too quickly for him to read his words, and despite not knowing what the hell he’s talking about, Jasper finds that he doesn't mind. He's oddly satisfied with just watching how excited and happy the prince is, a warmth settling in his chest as he smiles and watches the prince no doubt recounting something he saw - the customers in the shop, a new thing he found in his castle maybe. As if on cue, the prince pulls out a small flower from behind him.
It looks delicately made, a prop rather than a toy Jasper believes. The prince gently clinks it to the glass, smiling sweetly as he looks to Jasper.
Jasper places his hand over the spot of the flower, his own smile softening as he gazes into eyes greener than anything he's seen in the shop. He wonders if there's green outside the shop that matches the shade the prince wears.
It must belong to something incredible, something as wonderful as the prince himself. Jasper has always wanted to leave the shop, but he never really found a reason to leave himself when it was much easier to let a child pick him up and take him home.
There are wonders out in the outside world, he's sure of it. Outside of this shop.
Outside of this case.
He wonders what the prince sounds like. Gentle? Strong? A high voice? Maybe a lower one? What kind of laugh does he have?
And how does his hand feel? He's heard porcelain feels cold and hard, but when he looks at the prince and his soft features, he finds it hard to believe.
A knock on the glass brings his attention back to present. And the other resident in the case looks to him with a smirk on her painted lips. The prince greets her enthusiastically, and she softens her smirk into a smile, patting his hair carefully before gesturing for Jasper to follow her. He follows after the princess, curious to see if she's found anything. Instead, she just takes him to the corner of the case, pointing at the bottom corner with an eager grin. He looks to her, a question in his eyes as he watches her kneel down and-
He yells as he presses himself up against the case, her fist colliding into the corner. There's enough force to elicit a small crack in the corner, but as she pulls her hand back, he can see the hairline fractures that litter her hand. The prince is losing his mind, taking her hand and turning it this way and that, frantic as he examines each crack carefully. The princess shrugs off his concerns, shooing him away gently as she points to Jasper, and then to the damaged corner.
She wants him to... hit it?
Her smile widens as she takes her cracked fist and punches her own hand, and he swears he can hear the prince scream in fright.
He's not sure what she's planning, but if it'll keep her from punching at the glass like that...
Jasper lifts his own hand. He can't ball it into a fist like the princess, but he sure as hell can jab as hard as he can. With a quick thrust, he slams his hand into the corner. Instead of creating more cracks, however, the corner bites into his hand and leaves a dent. He pulls back, rubbing it with a hiss as he hears banging from the glass. The prince looks downright horrified, and the princess herself looks guilty for even suggesting the idea. But he's only made of wood, it's not like he'll shatter to pieces in an instant. He waves his hands to show that he's fine, it's just a little dent, it's okay. But the prince presses up against the glass and gestures desperately for Jasper to step as close as he can. Knowing what he wants, he presses his damaged hand against the glass for the prince to see. He turns it this way and that in accordance to the prince's gestures, and when the prince finally stills his hands, Jasper looks up to see that there's still worry and concern on his features. Jasper taps at the glass lightly and smiles when the prince looks up at him. With a little bonk, he presses his forehead against the glass. An answering bonk from the other side is all Jasper needs to hear as he closes his eyes.
He's okay, it's alright.
He wants to comfort the prince with his words, but sometimes, all he can manage are these little actions.
Little movements that they've both used to replace those words that can't hear from one another.
And if Jasper were to press his hand up on the glass, he knows that the prince would do the same.
He's here for him.
And he won't be leaving any time soon.
\\\\
"So that lockpicking thing is a bust." He sprawls out on Gwen's back, feeling as she moves across the store, looking around for other things they can use. "But, the princess gave me a new idea."
"Did she now?"
"What if we just, broke the case open?"
"Then the old man would know something was up and freak out."
"What about we break it a little. Just a tiny bit."
"And that would help us... how?"
"Imagine this- thank you." A toy dragon hands him a plastic shield. He tosses it up and down, judging its weight and hoping for the best. The dragon straightens up with a proud puff of her chest before ambling away. "Anyway, so, if all the sound is trapped in that case with them, then if there's like, a little hole, wouldn't it technically be possible to talk with them better?"
"Just talk?"
"Yeah, Gwen! It'd be easier to work with them, maybe see what they got in that castle of theirs and actually find out what's useful in getting them out."
"I guess so." Gwen sticks her face into a toy house while Jasper waits. "Hey is- oh there you are. Did you find that-? Oh thank you so much. Yeah yeah, I promise to give you a ride tomorrow." A static-like voice chirps happily inside the doll house as Gwen pulls back with a quarter in her mouth.
"Nice!"
"Yeah well, one of us has to have a real plan." Gwen tosses a smirk over her shoulder and clambers over to Big Bear, letting them pick her up onto the counter carefully. "One of the toys thinks that if we push these buttons in the right order, it'll get the register to open up. And in case it doesn't work, maybe money will do the trick."
"You've got a back-up plan for your real plan."
"Yeah, because my brain isn't just fluff, you block of wood."
"That's Over-Glorified Block of Wood to you." Gwen merely snorts in response as he slides off of her.
"Hey, hold on a sec." Jasper comes up to her face with an idiom ringing in his head for his curiosity.
"Got more than a quarter?"
"Yeah, actually." She drops the coin and picks up a familiar car. He drops the plastic shield and hugs the car to his chest.
"No way. Where did you find this?"
"I didn't. One of the other toys did." She smirks as he rolls one of the wheels, testing it as it clicks back far enough to start speeding in the air. "Didn't know what to do with it, so we kept it hidden behind the register." Already, Jasper's mind is spinning up a new plan as he looks around the counter.
"Did they find tracks too or-?"
"I don't know if the old man has any laying around."
"We can improvise. Those wooden train tracks- those gotta be around somewhere, right?"
"What are you planning now?" Gwen slides the quarter to one of Legos hopping around the cash register. "I don't think those ever got sold, but I haven't seen them in months."
"Maybe the Conductor knows. He's hiding in one of the houses, isn't he?"
"Probably. Been moping since the old man took apart his whole setup. But what are you planning?"
"Momentum." He points to the ledge of the case to one of the shelves across the store. Gwen looks between starting and ending points before looking down at Jasper's eager face. And then bats his head. "Hey!"
"You dumb block, it'll just fall apart in the middle! What's going to keep the tracks up in the open air?!"
"Big Bear!" The stuffed bear turns to them and Jasper quickly waves his hand at them. "Nonono, don't worry, I don't need your help yet."
"Yet," she repeats dryly. "What's Big Bear supposed to do?"
"Hold it up!"
"They can barely move from their spot - there's too much fluff, not enough stuffing to keep them upright for long!"
"But the other teddy bears manage to move just fine."
"That's because they're a normal size. Big Bear is ginormous compared to everyone else, stuffed bears aside!" She shakes her head with a frown. "I don't think they'd be able to keep themselves standing, nevertheless the damn tracks."
"Aha, but what if..." Jasper gestures to the chair behind the counter. "...Chair?"
"...Will it be enough?"
"Now you're just being a sourpuss." He ignores her hiss and gestures for Big Bear to come pick him up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find the Conductor and hopefully get this show on the road!"
It's easy for Jasper to put his plan into action. Ever since the dolls came to life and were stuck behind that glass case, every toy found it in them to try and do their best in getting them out. Devising plans, working together, finding bits of forgotten and dropped items hiding under shelves for only the toys to find - each and every one of them was going to do anything it took to get those dolls out, even if it was only for the night.
So with the gray-haired Conductor leading the way, he was able to grab the old, dusty tracks and carefully start connecting the straight pieces together. With the help of his fellow toy soldiers, they manage to shove and push the chair right in the middle of the small store. Other toys pitch in, helping them nudge the chair in the right spot while a handful of the stuffed animals carefully guide Big Bear to their spot on the chair, plopping them upright and still. Toys clamber about the store noisily as Big Bear holds up the unconnected middle part, a group on the counter carefully steadying the last section onto the ledge of the case, and Jasper's group carefully situated on the closest shelf to the counter and steadying the first section to match up with Big Bear's section.
Little toys clamber all over Big Bear as they climb up to the sections and carefully make sure that everything is connected and secure, before giving the thumbs up to Jasper. Together, he and the rest of the soldiers pull back on the car as far as it can go. He looks down towards the case and sees the prince pressed up against the glass, watching it all unfold as the register group continue on their problem solving venture.
Jasper knows this little plan of his won't free them. He knows for a fact that Gwen's idea is the better of the two by a longshot.
But.
As he releases the car with his friends and watches it race down the wooden slope, he hopes at least.
At least the prince's voice can be freed.
And he can finally ask him what his name is.
A resounding crack greets everyone's ears as they all hold their breath. Big Bear is the first to react, dropping their section of the bridge and having the stuffed animals guide them back to their place by the counter. Jasper reacts next, ignoring the clatter of wood as he drops onto the cushion on the floor and races over to Big Bear. Without him needing to say anything, the bear picks him up and gently places him on the ledge. Jasper runs to where the car remains still by the case and holds his breath as he kneels down to assess the damage. The princess is already there, looking excited as Jasper pulls the car away from the case. It's... not quite shattered, but there are definitely cracks spidering out from the impact. Jasper is ready to feel put out, because all that scheming certainly feels like a waste of optimism when he hears a knock grab his attention. His eyes meet with a pair of golden ones as she balls her hands up and punches into the air.
She wants him to punch the glass again?
Well, it might be weaker than before.
He winds up his arm and jabs at the glass with all his might. His wooden hand makes a soft "tink", but it ultimately does not go through. He pulls his hand back, the springs in his wrist feeling a bit bent out of shape, similarly to his mood as the case refuses to give. The princess frowns for a moment, before brightening and sitting down in front of Jasper. He watches as she kicks out her leg, the bottoms of her shoe meeting the glass daintily with a tap. At first, Jasper is prepared to shake his head, thinking that the results will just be the same.
But then he realizes that his foot is more solid. More built than his feeble, pointed hand. He can put more force into his kick. He can rely on more than just the swing of his light arms to make a sad excuse for a punch.
He positions himself right by the crack, leaning back on his arms as he sucks in a deep breath and-
SMASH.
For a brief, wonderful moment, he feels time stop as he watches his foot break through the glass. Cracks grow from the small break he makes, but he hardly finds them worth any worry as he pulls his leg back and immediately starts to clean the area of glass. Cheers erupt from behind him as he shoves the glass down to the floor.
Finally.
Finally!
He's getting somewhere!
"David! David, come over here!" A voice he's never heard before calls out from inside the case, and he can hear her, a voice that's rich and deep with a slight thrum to it, nothing like he'd imagine her sounding, but her voice sounds right, feels right, it just matches her unwavering determination, the strength that she holds, which means, which means-
"Bonnie, he! He did it!"
Jasper turns towards that little hole, that little hole that he made that gives him a glimpse into their little world, let's him hear them for the first time, hear him for the first time, and he's-
He sounds so wonderful.
Sweet, melodic, like he could burst into song at any moment, a bit higher than he'd imagine, but not so much that Jasper would miss how full of life and energy his voice holds. The prince sounds a bit more nervous than he imagined, but that's normal, right? Because, because Jasper is a little nervous too. No more silence.
Just.
Being able to listen to him. To each other.
Green eyes meet his blues, and he wonders, not for the first time, if his eyes were always meant to be painted such a vibrant green.
"...Hey."
"Hi."
The prince smiles as he kneels in front of the hole, his voice finally, finally, carrying through, loud and clear, no longer muffled, no longer inaudible, but here, here for Jasper to listen to, he wants to listen to his voice forever if he could-
"I'm... My name is Prince David."
"You can call me Jasper."
Carefully, the prince- no, David, reaches through the hole, his porcelain hand real and beautiful and dainty and open for Jasper to take. Jasper's own hand is nothing but a small, ovular block, nothing detailed like David's, nothing as carefully made and constructed like David's, but as he reaches forward hesitantly, he feels David grab his wooden hand like it's the most fragile material he's ever handled. Small fingers trace the little dents and scratches that mar the surface of his hand, and he's handled so gently, so carefully that Jasper forgets that David is the more fragile of the pair.
"Jasper." David breathes his name out like a precious treasure, and Jasper's breath gets caught in his throat. "That's such a pretty name."
"Thanks, I... um, I chose it." Green eyes stare at him curiously, and he thinks of that idiom that Gwen loathes for him to repeat out loud.
"Really? You were made without a name?"
"Well... my entire group was made in bulk. I mean, some of us were colored differently sure, but none of us had names. And... we decided when we woke up that we should have names to make us feel more... individual. And so it'd be easier to refer to each other without getting confused."
"How'd you come up with it?"
"...A little boy." He remembers a small child from ages ago - dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, excitable, eager, curious of the world and all of its residents - picking him up with a grin, turning him this way and that as he debated with his mother on whether or not he could get another toy. His mother put Jasper back on the shelf, but the little boy continued to stare with a promise in his eyes to one day take him home.
It’s been so long since he’s seen that little boy. He can’t help but wonder how his namesake is doing, and if he ever remembered Jasper sitting here in the toy shop.
"A little boy had that name. And I liked it. So I named myself after him."
"Ohh." David hums as he squeezes Jasper's hand. "If he's your namesake, then I bet he was a good kid."
"I bet." Jasper holds David's hand between his own, careful not to press too hard less he cracks something. "I like your name too. It's nice."
"I mean, it's not as special as yours. I was made with mine. Just like Bonnie." He turns to wave at the princess behind him, the woman looking smug and proud as she waves back only to walk away.
"I think it's special regardless." Jasper brings David's hand up to his lips, breathing lightly on it as he looks into his eyes. "It means your creator put thought into you. You have a whole story to you, I bet."
"Maybe." David laughs, a slight blush dusting his cheeks as Jasper sighs at the sight. "But if you think that's all it takes to make it special then... then I'll take your word for it."
"Believe it," Jasper says with a wink, making David laugh again. He's about to say something else when Gwen yowls a warning.
"The sun is rising! Everyone, back to your shelves!"
Jasper drops the hand he was about to kiss quickly, looking over to Big Bear as they begin lowering the other toys first.
"...I should get going."
"Oh, right." David looks as downtrodden as Jasper feels, but he places his hand over the glass, right where he imagines he could cup David's cheek to comfort him. At least now, he can say words of comfort, even if he can't fully touch him just yet.
"Hey." He smiles, bright and full of hope for the days to come. "I'll talk to you again later, okay?"
"...Okay." David places his hand against the glass, smiling with Jasper as neither of them pull away. "I can't wait to talk to you again."
“Same.” Jasper presses his forehead up against the glass and closes his eyes. He doesn’t need to open them to know that David follows in suit.
Because there are just some things that words can’t replace. Small gestures. Small movements that words just can’t encapsulate well enough.
And sure, maybe there’s a glass wall between them now.
But soon.
Soon.
He’ll find a way to free them both for good.
#camp camp#cc jasper#cc david#jaspvidweek2020#jasper#cc gwen#and some unnamed characters#whom you can guess as you'd like#god life has been pretty#ROUGH lately huh guys#world sucks shit#but now that i've gotten over my uhhh#crippling inability to cope with how the world runs#im gonna finish the rest of the prompts regardless#i don't know if they'll brighten someone's day but#i know for sure that distractions can help for just a little help a mind not be overwhelmed#also yes this is#a toy story au#and it was supposed to have a very specific scene but this was getting too long already#because this was very inspired by a vocaloid song#ai think so#i wish i could have gotten to that scene#one day i might turn this into a two shot#legit tho i have an entire plot line with more involved characters and a conclusion and yes david DOES get out of the case bu#spoilers lmao#links will be updated later once the rest of the prompts are DONEZO
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i would put this under a read more but im on mobile so i will be crying in the tags for a moment !
#abuse tw#literally why couldn’t i have just never remembered my abuse like!!! i dont want to remember any of this#it was gone for so long and now i have every horrible memory back all at once#i dont want it! i dont want it.#ive been dissociated all day im so exhausted from Thinking and Thinking abt this#like oh god how could i have been so stupid how could i have been so naive ect ect#both of which can be answered with i was a mentally disabled kid#but even knowing that and knowing its not my fault it still!! isnt any easier!!#ive gotten to a point now where i just wish my attempt worked so i’d never have to remember any of this#i have so many little triggers i see every day and my intrusive thoughts are eating me alive#i have headaches constantly from the stress of it all and this is WITH the super special new medication thats specifically for ptsd#what gives ladies! that’s all i wanna know!#journal#OH ALSO it doesn’t help that im remembering being groomed on this very website i still spend time on and regularly use to distance myself#from symptoms#bc like. what other mind numbing social media can i consume#but also every time i open up this app i trigger myself so !! What Ever#wish my best friend still talked to me. i’ve been thinkin abt them a lot while remembering everything#i miss them- they’d know what to say to me right now
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Not to be horny on main or anything, but
I wanna get laid
#these tags might get crass#like#I haven't even had that much sex in my life#but it turns out?#I really enjoy it?#but there's a pandemic#so I don't really feel comfortable hitting up the guy I've seen a couple times#but like#I did long distance for#*checks notes*#way too fucking long#and even having a cyber/rp partner#is a lot better experience than solo#and gods do I miss it#but I don't know how to find it really#this is such a small thing in the grand scheme#and even in the scheme of just my life#but lately it's been a growing thought in my mind#I don't really miss my ex#but I do miss rping with him#sorry for this everyone#hopefully you just kept scrolling lol
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do i write the tragic “what if norman was the one who made the promise?” au i’ve been dying to write for a while or do i spare everyone, including myself, from the suffering?
#mei rambles#tpn spoilers#this has been on my mind for so long you have no idea#i know exactly how i want it to happen#there's one specific conversation between norman and the demon god i need#it's so messed up and really sad#and the more i think about it the more my heart breaks#but it'd be really interesting#maybe#i'm not sure#i think my writing's getting worse for some reason but#idk
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