#THIS BARELY QUALIFIES BUT
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Waking up with Jason's arms wrapped around you, feeling him breathe into your hair, letting out the occasional snore. His hand is under you, pressed into your side, and you feel him squeeze the flesh of your waist to make sure you're still there, a habit he developed when things started getting serious, constantly searching for you, even in his sleep. He squeezes a little tighter, his breath suddenly quickening at an alarming rate. You try to turn to face him, fear settling in your stomach, wondering if something was plaguing him in his dreams again.
When you shift ever so slightly, you feel the other arm lying over you tighten, pulling you flush against his body. A chill runs down your spine as you feel him exhale a particularly strangled breath, and you force yourself out of his grip, sitting up to get a better look at the man next to you. His eyebrows furrowed, hair flat on one side of his head from laying in one position the entire night. One of his hands reaches out to your pillow, searching for you in your sudden absence, and when it's met with nothing, Jason jolts upright. He turns his head frantically, blurred vision searching for something, for someone, for you.
His shoulders drop in relief when he finally stops long enough to notice you barely a foot away from him. You watch his chest rise and fall as he tries to calm his breathing, and you're not sure which thing caused it, the nightmare or the fear that you had left him. "What are you doing up?" he asks, voice laced with sleep. "You were having a nightmare," you say quietly, sliding a little closer to him and settling back into your spot on the bed. "I was just trying to make sure you were okay." confusion is etched across his face like the concept of him having a nightmare was foreign, and you develop an equally confused expression upon seeing his own. His face drops suddenly, and he clears his throat, "Right, a nightmare." he shifts beneath the covers, seemingly uncomfortable. "I'm all good. Just go back to sleep, okay?" he sends a reassuring smile your way, his attempt at trying to make you forget this whole debacle and coax you back to sleep, but it was too late; you were already wide awake.
"Was it him again?" your hand finds the scarred expanse of his back, lightly grazing your fingers against old wounds and trying to ease his angst; his body tenses at your touch, and a groan leaves his lips. "it wasn't-" he pauses, running his hands through his hair and sighing. "it wasn't him again. It wasn't even..." he trails off, turning away from you and sliding off the bed. "wasn't even what?" You ask, more confused than ever, watching as he lifts his arms above his head, back muscles flexing while he stretches before crossing his arms. He just stands there, back towards you, and all you can do is sit in silence while he seemingly contemplates something. "It wasn't what, Jason?" you ask one more time. He turns his head slightly to look at you only for a second and lowers his eyes when he sees you in the same spot you've been this whole time. "It wasn't a nightmare," he says, turning around to face you, this time allowing you to see his whole body.
His face is flushed a bit out of embarrassment, and your confusion starts to reach its peak. That is until you do a once-over of him and notice the patch of dark gray on his otherwise light sweatpants. Your mouth gapes a bit, and all you can manage is a quiet "Oh." his eyes find the same spot on his pants, a tent growing beneath the soft cotton. "Yeah. Oh."
#edit: stop asking for part 2. it’s not coming#editing this was way harder than it should've been#wet dream jason is finally here#anyway hope u fiends enjoy this thing#that barely even qualifies as suggestive#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd smut#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood smut#jason todd lover
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I know I've talked a lot about Alhaitham actually being one of the funniest characters in Genshin Impact, but every time I think about him, I find something new to laugh at.
Alhaitham's character stories and personal criticisms of Kaveh largely hinge on one specific point: That Kaveh's genius intellect and artistic abilities are incongruous with his idealism. Kaveh possesses more talent than a selfless person should reasonably have, leaving him vulnerable to constantly being taken advantage of.
However, Alhaitham states these complaints about Kaveh's personality while having the exact same problem himself.
Alhaitham is literally the definition of "personality and talents do not match." Sir, you are the pot calling the kettle black.
It's a given: Alhaitham is exceedingly competent. He is intelligent, rational, and capable of being impartial when needed. Despite being a slacker as the Akademiya's scribe, during his stint as the Acting Grand Sage, the game goes out of its way to note--in several places--that Alhaitham was actually going above and beyond what was expected of him, taking the position very seriously, uncovering and fixing major issues in the Akademiya, and demonstrating a deep care for the sanctity and future of the Akademiya as a whole when Sumeru's people's will to research and learn declined after the collapse of the Akasha.
By all accounts, Alhaitham is (was) a fantastic Grand Sage. Compared to Azar, who is shown as inherently self-aggrandizing and unconcerned with Sumeru's well-being, Alhaitham genuinely did his best during his brief time as Sumeru's leader, protecting students' research, concerning himself with how to address the people's problems, and even diving in to solve mysteries that normally would have been left for the matra. As Acting Grand Sage, we're told his behavior and judgments were fair, and he addressed problems immediately and with his full effort.
In short, there is literally no one else more qualified to be Grand Sage than Alhaitham.
And yet, despite possessing every talent needed to be the leader of a nation, Alhaitham doesn't have the personality for it. He has every single trait a good leader requires... And yet he refuses to be a leader. His own talent vastly exceeds the slow-paced life his personality leads him to seek, making his particular abilities more incongruous with his values than Kaveh's--by a mile. People keep trying to promote him into positions of leadership because his talents are so obvious, and yet he does everything in his power to deny his own abilities and instead fly under the radar--and under the level of his full potential too.
Awful hypocritical for you to claim Kaveh's talents don't match his personality when yours match even less, Alhaitham...
#genshin impact#alhaitham#kaveh#“You should be less selfless Kaveh so your personality and your talents will finally match.”#“Call me when you stop faking incompetence so you can get paid to read on the job ALHAITHAM.”#Scribe “I can't let them know I can read clocks or they'll expect me to show up to the meetings on time” Alhaitham#should probably not talk about talents that exceed one's values#Imagine spending literal years nagging someone#about how they're selling themself short#while going around calling yourself a “feeble scholar” so no one expects you to do any actual work#Imagine being like “I am the least qualified for this position and I'm putting in only the bare minimum”#when your “bare minimum” is 105746060 times better than the last guy#fake idgafer#for real
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#charpim#art tag#this barely qualifies as shipart but like u get it. u get it#idr who patient zero was for the yellow&pink bracelet headcanon but thank you for ruining my life (positive)
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*turns your favourite slutty tiefling into a dragon* aheehee
#i have time to draw at work now since theyre BARELY moving dirt... YAYYYY#dnd#dnd oc#dungeons and dragons#dragon#chimera#tiefling#my art#ghouldraws#destreza#same pen and ink as my last drawing of him heehee#twsbi dia580#pilot iroshizuku tsutsuji#i love this pennnnnnnnnnnnnnn auuughggghg!!!!#its so much fun to draw with...#maybe i will get another along with the sky blue eco theyre releasing next week#and qualify for free shipping or something#i get paid this friday so... aheehee#ink art#fountain pens#traditional art#illustration
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Transcript:
V1: Shoots you with the pregnancy gun.
Now you are pregnant with baby, Gabriel.
Gabriel: A child of mine own? How can this be?
Minos and I have been trying for so long.
Machine, you’ve given us a miracle.
I’ll name him Big John. Named of course in honor of the size properties of Minos’ penis.
Thank you, Machine.
I’d offer you the position of godfather but... I’m actually still going to kill you.
V1: YAYYY.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#this is related to tomorrows post. i assure you.#I did not include the rest of the V1 yays cause it would interrupt the text but they add to the experience#hung minos is canon. not that anyone had any doubts surely#suggestive#<- barely qualifies as such compared to other posts. thats mostly for filtering purposes. idc who reblogs this one
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'lloyd is very weak now and needs to marry so he'll have someone to protect him'- lloyd has the only grandmaster on the world following him around like a puppy. he has the most terrifying motherfucker on the world wrapped around his little finger. he has the one person in the world who can hit an absolute in the head and get away with it swearing in his heart to protect him no matter the cost over and over again.
lloyd made javier watch him die twice right in front of him just to keep him alive. there is no power on existence that could make javier allow anyone or anything to even think about harming lloyd again.
lloyd is fine
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#sorry i get mad all over again when i think about that stupid ass competition lmaooo#like i know it was just an excuse but. it was sooo unnecessary.#like if you're gonna say 'lloyd will marry the person most qualified to protect him' you cannot blame me for pointing to the one person#who literally spent the whole novel ascending to higher and higher planes of existence just so he could protect lloyd better#that's just how it is#but also this is me saying it's evil and fucked up that we never saw javier going absolutely feral on someone for trying to hurt lloyd#the closest thing is in the battle in hell but that was against hellkaros so like. it doesn't really count.#i need javier to see someone raising a hand against lloyd only for everyone within a radius of a hundred meters to be overwhelmed#by this sheer murderous intent that makes more than a couple people drop to their knees and begin praying.#just this quiet but palpable rage that makes it physically harder to breathe.#a presence so powerful it makes people nauseous just by being near it.#and i also need lloyd to be completely unaffected by it and in fact able to easily appease and assuage it with barely a word#i deserved to see that actually
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Wake up.
You ran away.
#OMORI#OMORI Stranger#OMORI SOMETHING#Omori character#Knife boi#Truth boi#SOMETHING#Stranger#My art#this barely qualifies as#colored#note: stranger is reaching out to test his theory if touch does activate some memories for Sunny#rip omori has got fast hands :/ escaped#RIP knife too... gone......#OMORI spoilers
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Messing with a generic Anurognathid and testing some texture ideas while waiting for the freezing fog outside to clear (it will not, apparently). These little big-eyed dudes are the cutest things I'll never get to see in person.
#paleoart#palaeoblr#pterosaur#anurognathidae#scientific illustration#I guess#this barely qualifies I'm just mostly messing around#enjoy this creature
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Wild that the Arby's coupons I get in the mail are by far the best value fast food coupons I get
#burger king is like 'would you like 2 sandwiches that barely qualify as a meal for 6.99'#and arbys is like 'we will give you a full week of work lunches for $10. and theyll actually taste good'#although lets be honest i will be cashing in that coupon on wednesday and then eating them over the weekend. still#i think this is a case of everyone else raised their prices and arbys didnt#or not nearly as much#they also dont shoot for low calorie nonsense. theres actually value in their food
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zakkura as Smith College Girls for i-D magazine 2004
#cloud strife#zack fair#zakkura#clack#ff7#normally i dislike it when ppl redraw a yuri img as guys but#if you carry your barely-conscious friend to safety across multiple continents#THEN u can be qualified for this#art
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The MH/EAH Deep Dive Formula
Only talk about webisodes, specials, and dolls.
Don't talk about any lore
Wildly speculate on why the reboot happened
Don't acknowledge websites, games, or books
Still find the time to talk about descendants or the dolls 'dressing like strippers'
#EVERYTIME#i just want someone who actually knows the lore to do a deep dive#can we talk about eah without bringing up descendants#and vice versa?#can we talk about the websites or games?#and the books#i hate how video essays about them always start with#“i was SUPER into the line as a kid”#like cool#and you can be a fan without knowing every peice of lore#but you were super into the dolline and your doing a deep dive but you're not even talking about anything deeper tahn common knowledge#for fucks sake#it barely qualifies as a retrospective#ever after high#monster high
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silly lil farming sim AU drawn for a discord server event :) i got a little too lazy to include all the characters i had wanted to, so please imagine for me:
linssen quietly surrounded by a flock of chickens on the nostrade farm. only successful chicken whisperer
canary and alluka hanging out at the flower shop/seeds shop and that killua's face looks less wonky
cheadle is the town mayor. we don't talk about the previous mayor.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#in honor of the harvest moon tonight :)#the event theme was retro anime/games so i tried to imitate the style of the promo artwork for the first couple harvest moon games#which are from the late 90s so juuust barely qualify hehe#too embarrassed to tag all these characters but i'll do one giant tag so it shows up in search#for anyone seeking out any possible mention of a certain character i guess (i've been there many times lol)#here we go: gon freecss kurapika melody senritsu basho leorio paladiknight machi komacine shizuku murasaki killua zoldyck
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I think it must be for the lack of going outside of your room on this website that debates about personal presentation and appearance literally never have any material analysis. sorry it's counterrevolutionary to shave my legs or wear makeup or a bra or style my hair in certain ways or "worry" about visible signs of aging but have some of you just never encountered real world situations where those things caused measurable problems dealing with other people, jobs, money, respectability, access to resources, or the ability to influence important situations? this starts happening when you go outside a lot. there's a debate on my dash rn about balding and finasteride in which not a single person has mentioned the potential negative social outcomes of losing your hair and how that can affect socioeconomic status and personal risk. maybe someone doesn't need to be "vain" to care about keeping their hair and consider the risks of medication for it. maybe they've seen how bald people get treated and referred to and made a cost benefit calculation that they can't afford, sometimes literally, to eat that cost, with everything else they've got going on. maybe I wear makeup when I have to go talk to doctors and other gatekeepers because people make assumptions about your class and mental status when you have "bad skin" and "eye bags". maybe a lot of women who wear uncomfortable restrictive bras and shave whatever and buy skin products and do gua sha have already been sharply punished when someone saw leg hair or a mustache or puffy greasy skin or god forbid their nipple through their shirt. not everyone can just say "fuck it, I can afford to eat one more social cost that will measurably impact my ability to get medical treatment or pay rent". sorry this sounds like an economics lecture, that's because it is
if you are about to tell me a long story about how you personally have not been affected by perceptions of your appearance actually so you can conclude it never happens at all, please don't. sometimes you get lucky, that's it. and on this website I think it's less likely that you're lucky and more likely that you're oblivious
#im not addressing weight or race here because im not qualified to speak on it#blog#the economics of the perceived person#i guess#also not addressing visible queerness here because again not qualified#dont yell at me#i stg if someone tries to make this about goth gatekeeping#im WHITE and even still an ongoing theme of my life is total strangers telling me to “just use conditioner” or get a Brazilian blowout#because my hair is curly#which is no joke still considered completely unacceptable in most of white cultuee#probably because its associated with being bipoc#im not saying “oh poor me” about my hair im saying people have literally told me to my face i looked homeless and crazy or drug addicted#and treated me accordingly#because im barely a 3a hair pattern#i can only try to extrapolate from this how actual women of color with natural hair get treated#but i see those women getting shit on for straightening or styling because its “reinforcing patriarchy” or whatever#girl they are not the ones doing the reinforcement
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to arti and hunter
what would happen if i were to hypothetically force you two to hug
They are both in severe psychological distress right now /j
#Rw siblings au#Rw Hunter#Rw Artificer#tw gun?#<- Just in case#They’re barely even hugging I don’t think this qualifies as a hug#Tbh they’d both probably rather get shot than actually hug#Hunter definitely would#Don’t worry Arti will probably beat Hunter up after this to make sure nobody makes the mistake of thinking she’s nice /hj#She has a reputation to uphold
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"A Song of Ice and Fire" sounds like it could be a magical girl anime c'mon let's be real
Individuals below the cut!
#asoiaf#asoiaf fanart#brienne of tarth#daenerys targaryen#arya stark#sansa stark#magical girl au#for this magical girl squadron I have selected the female POV characters with ages beginning with a 1#specific af prompt but that's the vibes#brienne and arya both barely qualify#bri's outfit inspo is joan of arc. not the most original pull but yknow it works#for dany I was looking at Targ inspo classic Byzantine fashion#arya is every dnd assassin just de-edgelorded#sansa I tried for a more classical princess look. she's in blue bc I tried like every shade of green and they all made her look too much#like Fantasy Jean Grey#my art#fan art
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I thought to myself, "I wonder if anyone has ever drawn tattoed-up Silco" and then I remembered I have a degree in fine arts and free will
Lineart under the cut
#silco#arcane#I feel like as a community we're sleeping on this concept#my art#weird dunkleosteus looking arcane sharks my beloved#this is just a sketchy sketch#might rework it later#posting before I inevitably start hating it#light nudity I guess?#silco's ass is so nonexistent I think it barely qualifies
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