#THING TO DO. so like. turns out hes not a great guy actually. i at least hope his moms not in his life if she still sucks.

[menacingpolkamusic]

I think many women and queer people fall into the trap of treating men nearest to them as a stand-in for the patriarchy they truly hate, because the men closest to them can actually be hurt. The alt-righters threatening to rape them can't.

Unless you're like, Catholic and/or really want to, you're not required to love someone who hates you. I'm sure there's a different strategy to getting through to that person, and that's probably something male allies should take on.

But as for men who truly want to be allies but are intimidated because of women's frustrations (no matter how valid!), such as this man on the Chewed Gum show asking how to model positive masculinity + his feelings on the man/bear question, Alyssa Ljub had a great response (abridged version):

[[READMORE]]

[...] My brother [...] struggled a lot with being a very like sensitive, emotional kind of guy and that manifested as being angry and defensive when he was a teenager and through his more younger adult years, now he's 32 and a full adult and he's really understanding that what he's wanting to express is a more full range of emotions, but he didn't feel comfortable doing that because he was falling into that same mental pattern of that's not manly, men don't cry [...]

In the process of writing the TED Talk, I had given it to my brother to read and he went over it and [...] he encouraged me to look at it again and every time I referred to these like really atrocious things that had happened to women throughout time [...] he encouraged me to look at it and really consider [...] is "man" the word that I want to use, is it because men did this or is it the patriarchy, is it this system that we've created.

And at the end of the day, he was right because we all are victims of this same mentality, like this patriarchal mind space is the reason why [...] you are not super comfortable expressing a full range of emotions or it took you a long time to get there, similarly with my brother and similarly with how we all [choose the] bear and then we have a hard time understanding how men can't see it.

It's all the same system, it's the same machine and so there's a part of me that's always sort of like, it feels good to join in other voices that are able to say "bear and fuck the men who don't understand and that's not my job to teach them" and blah, blah, blah, like there's part of it that will always feel like turning the knife and it feels good for that moment but that's not actually a productive conversation and [...] that's not helping anybody.

And so the other part of it is, okay, [...] we're in this dialogue and [...] oh my gosh, men don't actually see it, they don't really understand why we feel that way and if they can't really understand it and they're in the same system that we are, it kind of is our responsibility to explain because if we don't, we're leaving them to their own devices to figure it out and when they're left to their own devices, they're at the hands of the same system that's telling them to shut down their emotions, be defensive and ignore what we're describing as physical risk that we feel with with strange men and that's not helpful, that's not helping anybody grow.

And so it's frustrating to some women, [...] "I shouldn't have to explain that" and I 100% get that, that's so valid but I think in this conversation, when we talk about how we move forward from how we have pushed men into being a specific type of person that is fitting into [...] this prototype [of] being really tough and minimizing emotions and unable to be vulnerable so that they can appear strong, when we've put men into that space, what pulls them out of it is vulnerability and softness and care and saying it's actually okay for you to want to be emotional in this time and it's actually completely okay that you're hearing this argument where people are saying bear over and over and you're like, "what the hell, I worked so hard to be the kind of man that people would be comfortable around and [...] I worked so hard to undo everything that I was inundated with as a child, like, and you still said bear?"

[...] I would encourage anybody who's listening who has that reaction of like, "I don't want to have to explain it to people. And if they don't get it, that's on them." I would encourage them to also consider how productive that conversation is. And if you, in that very moment, wanted to be productive. Sometimes we're like, "this is not worth it, I don't feel like having this conversation," whatever, that's fine [...]

I feel like that's the biggest thing that is inhibited for so many men in this system. They're not given the permission to feel everything that they want to feel and have a safe space where there might be an adult or a therapist, whatever, whoever is around them to say, "it's okay that you feel that way. And at the same time, the reason why women are saying bear is because even though you're a safe space, the information that we have, the statistics that we have about how many men are not is enough to make me say bear."

[...]

But I think at least in the way that I've experienced this conversation, especially with someone close to me, like my brother, where I've grown up with him obviously, and I've known him my whole life and seeing what made the biggest difference for him was allowing him to feel vulnerable and feel the full range of his emotions and actually process them through. Like actually see [...] "these are all the things I'm feeling and this is how we're gonna resolve it. And now I've learned something because I've actually resolved this feeling."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[lia-lillies]

how i think various hsr men would ask you out (gender neutral reader)

warnings: none; poor attempts at humor and possible swearing

a/n: wowee! 2 hsr posts in one day; go me!

tagging @sheyfu, @ayrastv, and @threnodians cause they eat my writing up all the time, every time 

the planners 

these guys are great! they are ready and organized to ask you out. they have a date, time, and everything else planned for the PERFECT date, and he may even account for when things look dicey. the date WILL go smoothly because he did all of the work and made the most out of the scenario. so help him, dear god (or aeons), if he doesn’t account for something and the date goes horribly wrong- the date goes perfectly fine, spoilers. 

dr. ratio, welt, dan heng, moze, gepard, jiaoqiu, your faves!

the somewhat planners

they do the bare minimum when planning but may accidentally schedule something very last-minute, which then leads into your date. but it all turned out fine in the end, and he was just happy to be around you and bask in your amazing presence. the vibes? chaotic, but it was actually quite a nice time! 

boothill, caelus, sampo, aventurine, your faves!

the flirt

very eloquent in his words that you almost don’t recognize that he’s asking YOU out, quite silly indeed. but then as the conversation goes on, there’s this almost desperate sound to his voice. oh my god, he’s not being a shithead and asking you out for real. very suave and eloquent, but he does plan everything with your preferences in mind. listen, he may be a flirt, but he’s so down bad for you, let’s be honest. be honored he’s asking you to go out with him, for my sake.

jing yuan, luocha, gallagher, argenti, your faves!

the desperate lil’ simps (this is a joke btw)

they are the epitome of “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE” in paragraph form (yknow the one, we all do) but seeing him like this is kinda funny- so funny to the point you decide in taking blackmail of the moment and watch the light in his eyes go from happiness to horror. you don’t do it in the end, but the idea was funny in the moment. they just want to spend time with you, and who would you be to deny them of that? 

caelus, sampo, luka, aventurine, your faves!

the straightforward (almost menacing)

their tone of voice when they ask you out is almost a 180 from how they normally he talks to you, it’s almost scary. it’s a simple “go out with me” that catches you completely off guard and almost knocks you off your feet. but in actuality, he adjusts the date to your liking and you have a pleasant time! the way he asked could have been better, though…

blade, dr. ratio, moze, gallagher, your faves!

©lia-lillies 2024.

[mattsnight]

Hide it - Matt Sturniolo

Summary: in which Matt hides his feelings for you, but eventually can’t take it anymore.

Warnings: fluff, cursing,

A/N:

Matt couldn’t hide it any longer. He couldn’t hide his love for you. His feelings were hard to control when you were around. It was sickening. He didn’t say anything about it, because he didn’t want to hurt you or ruin the friendship you guys have. It was too important for, but he also couldn’t stuff his feelings away any longer. He was in love with you and that was a problem.

Every time you hang out with Nick Matt’s in the room. He’s always staring at you, but when you turn to look at him he quickly turns away. You didn’t think much of it, until things changed. Matt started acting weird. He was always stuttering around you and didn’t have proper conversations with you.

You had come to the triplets’ house to make some pictures with Nick. The house was mostly quiet, only soft sounds were heard from Matt’s room. He was most likely playing fortnight. You sat down on the couch, waiting for Nick to return from his room.

“Oh hey y/n..” you suddenly hear a voice say. You look at the figure, it’s Matt. A small smile forms on your face as you wave at him. He freezes at your smile, regretting his decision of coming out of his room. He was already getting nervous at the fact of his crush being infront of him. Suddenly a wave of confidence washes over him. It was now or never. “Y/N i can’t do this anymore.�� He says, swallowing.

“Can’t do what?” You ask, looking at him in confusion.

“I-“ he runs his hand through his hair. There’s a moment of silence. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t just say ‘hey im in love with you! Can we make out?’ can he? Another deep breath leaves his mouth as he tries to get himself together. “Fucking hell..” He holds his breath as he looks into your eyes to see any kind of reaction. “Can’t you see how obsessed i am with you?” A surprised sound leaves your mouth. You don’t say anything for a while, surprised by his confession.

“Jesus Y/N, say something please.” He begs. His nervousness gets worse within seconds. Did you hate him now? “I- you like me?” You ask. Realization hits you hard. He actually likes you. Your mind goes blank at the thought, all your thoughts vanishing. He slides both his hands into his pockets, hiding how badly he’s sweating.

“Yes Y/N and im tired of you not noticing! I tried everything to make you look at me, yet it’s not working.” He groans mentally, blaming himself for raising his voice at you. “Sorry… i-“ he starts, but gets cut off when you slam your lips against his. This kiss was everything he needed. Everything he needed to know you had the same feeling about him and it was amazing. It wasn’t passionate, just full of love and desperation.

Your hands slide into his hair, gently pulling at it to get closer. His hands go down your sides, gripping you tightly. You slowly start backing up into a wall, which he does too. Then he pulls back to get some air. You look up into his blue eyes, smiling. He smiles back almost immediately, wiping your hair out of your face. “That was..” he chuckles, still a hit breathless. “So fuckin’ amazing.”

Suddenly you hear a laugh behind you. You turn around to see Nick standing there. He had watched the whole scene and was laughing by it. Matt rolls his eyes, before looking away. “Took you long enough, kid. Will you stop bothering me now you’ve kissed the girl?” Nick smiles, before looking at you. “He wouldn’t stop talking about you. Seriously. It was so tiring.”

A small smile forms on your face. You look at Matt who’s now filled up with embarrassment. “I’ll leave you guys alone. Let’s do the pictures another time, alright?” Nick suggests. You nod, knowing you need time to let this sink in and spend some time with Matt.

This was gonna be great.

no nut november fic 3! I hope yall like this💞 (also i wont be posting as much since i need to learn for assignments and stuff</3)

[suzukiblu]

Day seven of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems in someone who was in that situation trying to flirt with someone actually age-appropriate. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“. . . ‘fast’,” Kon echoes awkwardly, glancing down at their hands. Tim tries not to wince. He definitely sounds like an idiot or a prude or–whatever. Just incredibly, incredibly uncool. 

He has actually never felt less like a prude since getting to know Kon well enough to notice things like how good the bastard looks soaked in Kool-Aid, but now is just . . . really not the time for thoughts like those, yeah. 

“I, uh–I’ve never actually, um . . . with anyone, actually. Guy or not,” Tim half-admits, though it feels stupid that being a virgin is something to admit instead of just a statement of fact. Normally it wouldn’t be, is the thing, but he just really doesn’t want Kon to think he sounds lame or antisocial or . . . whatever, exactly. “I actually would literally not even know how to, uh . . . give you ‘tips’ or anything. Unless I had like, the prep time to do some research, I mean. It’s just, uh–I don't date much, to be honest. Or, uh. Pretty much at all? Like, you're definitely more experienced than I am either, uh, either way, like that's just–I don't do much of this stuff. Any of it. I have in fact gone out with exactly two girls in my life and they both were definitely, um–also the ones who were making the moves and all.” 

It's not that he never want to make a move, just usually he's too busy being way too in his own head about it or something else entirely or–

God, he is rambling so much, Tim realizes, repressing a cringe when he realizes how blankly Kon’s currently staring at him. Because it is very, very blankly, that Kon is staring at him. 

Crap. 

“Uh,” Tim says with a grimace. “Sorry. Um. If you were expecting something . . . faster, I mean.” 

Kon should definitely not have anything that fast if he’s thinking of himself as a product, Tim’s basically positive, but also that’s actually not any of his damn business, but also he definitely needs to look into Kon’s dating history just to add a few names to his list for when he finally goes supervillain and just maybe look into–

. . . Kon is still just staring blankly at him. 

Tim fails to repress the cringe this time. 

“Uh,” he attempts again. “Kon? Are you . . .?” 

Kon turns literally crimson and ducks his head, but also doesn’t actually stop staring at him. 

. . . alright then, Tim thinks. 

“I do like you. I like you a lot. Like–I like-like you a lot, if I have somehow managed to not be embarrassingly obvious about that at this point,” he tries, borderline flailing in the conversation now since Kon is apparently no longer willing to use his words and he was already not doing that great with it when Kon was using his words, and he can’t even talk with his hands or anything because he’s holding Kon’s hands like an actual grade schooler, except probably no one ever has held Kon’s hands like–no, no, he is not far enough down the supervillain pipeline to be able to finish that thought process and deal with the psychological consequences of having to not burn down the system about it, he really cannot do that at any point in the next ten to fifteen years whatsoever. “This isn't–I'm just–it's not me not wanting to . . . take some pictures, eventually. Just . . . maybe we could wait a bit on it. Stick with the streets and buildings for a little while longer, maybe?” 

He tries for a smile and also tries not to cringe again over how weak an attempt it feels like, and then has the uneasy and uncomfortable thought that actually doing anything like that isn’t even really–is that ethical, even? Even the idea of doing something like that? Kon doesn’t really know Robin all that well, no, but they’re on the same team and the same side, and they’re teammates and at least arguably friends, and Kon also doesn’t know he is Robin, and– 

“Um,” Kon says, his hands tightening just a bit around Tim’s and his face still blazingly and borderline inhumanly red as his head ducks a little lower and his mouth curves into what is, in fact, the most unfairly soft smile that Tim has ever seen on the bastard’s face. “We could do that, yeah.” 

Tim was thinking about something, probably? Which hopefully wasn’t something important, considering just how ruthlessly Kon just fried his brain out of his head. Which is not even reasonable or logical, because all Kon did was . . . well, imply he was fine taking things at Tim’s pace and not actually going to get immediately bored if he didn’t put out and was actually interested in just being together, and also did it while smiling at him like that. 

Alright, fine, Tim knows exactly why his stupid brain got itself fried. He’s still apparently embarrassingly easy, though. 

Well, that’s not exactly new information in regards to Kon anyway. 

[savanir]

Danny ends up with the most embarrassing puppy crush on Kyle.

It is horribly obvious for everyone except Kyle who thinks he's just doing a great job at mentoring, "he listens really well. Picks everything up so fast. Teaching him is great to be honest"

And Danny just glows under the praise. 

Danny knows too, it's impossible to deny when he gets teased that much for it. 

But he's nice okay!? Kyle is super nice and funny and kind and Danny got him to laugh when he went "Ghost activate!" And transformed the first way and then went "Enchantrix" and put the lantern stuff on. He did poses. Kyle found it hilarious. His laugh was really nice. Give him a break!

And Danny knows and he understands. There is the whole age thing. Kyle is older. So he figures that eventually it'll just go away and maybe they can laugh about it later. "Ahahaha, remember when I was the world's most embarrassing person and I behaved like a lunatic around you? Haha man, what was I thinking! Super glad you’re still willing to be friends though"

He doesn't realise he's fucked until he had a depressed, worn down, falling apart Kyle Rayner that he dragged into his apartment. The poor guy had an absolute awful assignment where peace between three planets fell apart and a lot of lives were lost in the war that followed. His latest comic series got canceled last minute by the publisher and turns out things didn't work out with his girlfriend after all.  

So Danny dropped him on the couch. Wrapped him up in the Yeti fur blanket Frostbite gifted him a while ago. Gave him homemade fudge and a nice mug filled with caramel latte Macchiato with extra choco sprinkles and then fetched the Transformers prime DVD's he got on Kyle's recommendation.

So they could watch it, cause Danny knows Kyle likes Transformers. And that way he'd have at least a somewhat less shitty evening and then Kyle gave him this watery smile later and went "you know, I'm really glad you got chosen to be a green lantern Danny" and Danny just kinda sat there and went, "yeah me too" like a dumbass. 

It's actually not until then, that he knows. 

And after that he figures he just has to suck it up, somehow. Cause as far as Danny knows his friend is very straight. And Kyle still calls him his kohai (and sometimes ruffles his hair, which feels sorta nice. Hal does too, but with him it just makes Danny want to phase him through the nearest solid object and make him stuck for a while) and if that's not a very clear boundary Danny doesn't know what is.

and bonus GL Danny

The What Corps?

“we have you now spook! there is nowhere you can run and hide with our new spectral tethers active!”

Danny winces at the small metal clips that have hooked themselves in his leg, some new GIW tech that is messing with his powers.

“oh yeah? I was just dying for you guys to give me a challenge” plan. plan. He's gotta think of a plan to get out of here and fast. He takes a steadying breath and starts to look for anything that can help him.

he can’t get caught here. He just can't. He simply won’t allow himself.

suddenly the two GIW goons in front of him click their earpieces to clearly listen to what someone else is telling them, Danny is very glad for his own enhanced senses.

“Operatives K and O, be advised, there have been sightings of a new ectoplasmic entity near your location. Other operatives report that it’s incredibly small and moves fast. watch your backs, this may be an ambush”

small and fast? it better not be some poor little blob ghost, Danny sort of hopes it’s some manner of ectowasp, at least that could be entertaining to see.

“you better not be hoping for back up, ecto scum”

“I have no idea what you are talking about”

It's then that a small bright green light zips on scene and weaves through crowds in the distance with ease and then speeds up towards the two operatives who do not hesitate to shoot, missing completely like the storm troopers they are.

Whatever it is, it is indeed going very fast but Danny manages to figure out what it looks like and it appears to be a… ring?

“hold it you tiny accessory shaped ecto fiend!”

The ring does a speedy circle around Operative O while K is lining up a shot and ends up blasting the poor guy point blank in his face, “O!”

Danny takes a step forward with an arm outstretched and a “oh damn! Are you alright?” on his lips when the ring takes the chance to slip on his finger. “Daniel Fenton of Earth”

Danny already had a freakout about a ghost jewelry getting on him, his experiences with those so far have been incredibly bad after all, what with the rings and crowns and pendants… now this damn thing is just straight up outing him! 

Thank the ancients the two GIW stooges are too busy with each other right now to pay close attention to what this weird ring is saying.

“You have the ability to overcome great fear” ah so this is related to him steeling himself just now? Maybe? or something??

You have been chosen” never good, we are back to freaking out again.

“Welcome to the green lantern corps” 

… the what?

Danny notices that his usual outfit suddenly has more green going on, and his DP symbol has some sort of… he guess it’s supposed to be a lantern, maybe? shape around it.

He’s somehow even more glowy now, and there is something on his face. Feeling its shape makes him think it’s some sort of mask.

The metal clip things are no longer attached to his legs though so that’s great!

“You’re not getting away so easily ecto scum! sentient ghost paraphernalia coming to your rescue or no!” They both aim their weapons to take a shot.

Danny figures he can now easily hold them back with his usual shields,“you guys realize you just called this weird ring sentient and thereby negate the whole nonsentie-ack!”

“Attacking a corps lantern is punishable offense as of the instatement of the galactic diplomatic immunity as declared by the-” Okay so now Danny is just raising his eyebrow at this weird as fuck ring. Just what is it going on about?

“notifying nearby lanterns and requesting assistance with apprehension of hostiles”

what?

“getting your friends to help you out vile spook? such a thing is useless with the Blackout still very much in place”

Well… the two streaks of green light in the distance is making Danny doubt that statement.

Maybe there is more to this Lantern corps thing than he thought… And something tells him his life is about to get even more complicated than it already is.

[eofaquitaine]

Listen, we lost.

The US wasn't ready for it's first female president, and in reality this country wasn't ready to think. People who voted for Trump, people who abstained, people who voted third party. I'm sorry to say but they did not think. I disagree with Harris on a LOT of things. But I also see Trump for who he is, a wannabe dictator. Project 2025 is soft-core Mein Kampf, and Trump is ready to metaphorically suck the dicks of Putin and Kim.

To anyone not from the US who sees this, I'm sorry. I did my best, I voted, and I tried to explain and get others to vote with their critical thinking glasses on just like I did. It wasn't enough. I get if you are mad at the US, though, this world is so fucked and having a global superpower turn even more extreme right wing than it already was is, as they say, Not Great. I'm annoyed too.

I'm not proud of my country. I'm not proud of my generation who according to news outlets based their votes off of Kamala Harris not appearing on the "Joe Rogan Podcast". I'm proud that my state stayed Blue, but I'm disappointed in everything else we did as a country tonight.

But we move forward. I can't let hatred get the best of me, and I hope my fellow Americans do the same. Hatred doesn't do anything. Pandora let Hatred out, she left us with Hope.

I can Hope that the midterm elections will swing back to blue. I can Hope that one day I will see a woman in office. I can Hope that this nation's checks and balances do their fucking job and stop a fascist regime. I can Hope that our system will see change, but in the reality that it doesn't I can Hope that at least a few abstainers or third parties learned their lesson on how this fucked up government system works and that it simply is not a valid option for change.

But at the end of the day, Tumblr is still Tumblr. Tomorrow I'll freak out if Stranger Things actually releases something. I'll see fanart of a video game I like and I'll reblog it. We'll keep doing our thing, and we'll keep carving out the change we need to see from the ground up. I will keep fighting and I know you guys will too.

Also let's not spam the Destiel meme, it's a bit too sobering an occasion for those gay(?) dudes.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain, God.

(Next)

Your name is Grian...

... Well, It's quite a bit more complex then that.

Your name was ____ when you first emerged from the void from which all came from. Brother to creation and destruction and order. A god of nothing... yet.

Your name was Xelqua when the other gods were created and needed a name for you... That was your name when Aeor created the stars and when Lady Life created the first miniscule cells and it still was when Lady Death was created to collect them.

Your name was T⍑∷ᒷᒷ when you annhilated the creatures of the Cambrian, when you erupted the Earth and destroyed those of the Permian and when you shot an asteroid at the massive reptiles of the Cretaceous.

After that your names have been many. You have been called Set and Eris and Loki and Balor and Leviathan and so much more. Pandeminium is a favorite of yours, after all that was what you caused when you introduced superpowers to the world 100 years ago.

But now, now your name is Grian. You had to pick a new name if you wanted to truly pretend to be a mortal and Grian just had such a nice sound to it.

Who Grian is going to be... You haven't decided yet, there is just so many things you could do that you hardly needed to plan. Could you Imagine it? Chaos itself making a plan? Now, that would be something...

Where Grian is... something you can answer much more easily, you are somewhere in Hermitopia. If you were to guess somewhere near the hero tower.

Lastly, as for why Grian is? Why you decided to do this at all? Well, you just wanted to have some fun! Mess with heroes and villains alike a bit! After all, things have been far to peaceful as of recently and you were getting bored.

Chapter 1

Poultryman was going to be the one to be "born" first. What better then a vigilante persona made as an excuse to trow at eggs at villains and heroes alike in the name of justice? It was just to fun of an idea not to do it. Creating him wasn't even that hard, you gave your human form some chicken-like wings and a chicken mask and it was done... Now to actually begin your act.

It's your first night out as a vigilante and you have already ran into a mugging, you are almost impressed.

"Look who we have here" The thief looks back at you, you can see he's holding a knife... It's pretty small, kinda embarassing on his part.

He seems a bit surprised by you being here, he has to have like no spacial awareness whatsoever because you haven't done anything to hide yourself while you were approaching.

"Who are you!?"

Is it really not obvious? One would think the outfit or the mask would speak for itself... Perhaps you have overesrimated mortal minds, you'll have to introduce yourself it seems.

"Well!? I have a knife"

Ohhh, a feisty one. Also, very impatient, you were getting to it. Guess It's time to introduce yourself officially.

"I am... Poultryman"

...

"Poultryman? Really?"

Excuse him? Poultryman is a great name, he must clearly be blind to the divine genius you possess. For that alone now he's definitely getting egged. You decide not to give him time to continue, you don't really care for what he might say. You throw an egg in his face causing him to fall to the ground and letting the woman that was being mugged have the opportunity to get herself free from the hands of the mugger.

"An...egg? What the fuck-"

You egg him again for daring to question the holy egg, this one actually spawns a chick.

"Stop it!"

You think about it...for about two seconds. "No" You egg him again... He doesn't seem very happy about it, he actually must be pretty mad because he tries to stab you... It doesn't work, of course, you can't exactly stab a concept, but still...very rude.

You teleport behind him and knock him out, this thing was taking too long at this point. You then turn to the grateful woman.

"Well then, that was easy, if you could call someone now to pick up this guy that would be great"

And then you're gone. Wonder how long it will take for the news to hear about you.

The answer is apparently: not that long.

[joons]

okay no wait, I'm so curious your thoughts on the elvis mythology! I'm trying to think of an example haha. anyway, thank you for that food for thought. your takes on elvis are so interesting and kind of a different perspective than I normally see

Thank you! That means a lot because I do love going into his psychology and thinking about how he thought about things. And I love being able to engage with Elvis stuff from all different angles!

I can think of a few - like there will be people who were close to him who make such absolute statements about him: he refused to wear blue jeans, he hated eating fish, he loved eating peanut butter/banana/bacon sandwiches, he was afraid of germs, he wouldn't sleep with women who were mothers. But not all of those are true for him 100% of the time, or they seem to be big outliers where no one else has reported anything like that. And as you read more, you can see moments where he behaves differently than these big eccentricities that people pin on him, and you have to think about why that might be. You pick up little clues that you can put together to figure out what he meant. Did he have an almost pathological dislike of blue jeans because they reminded him of his childhood poverty, or did he just tell one of his band members that because he had made a brusque joke about the guy wearing blue jeans in front of a bunch of people and wanted to find a way to apologize without apologizing? Was he covering up behavior he was ashamed of, or was he revealing the real shame that drove him to look his best and make sure his entourage looked their best too? Did he actually have an aversion to women after they had given birth (unlikely, since he had relationships with several mothers), or did he want to give Priscilla a reason for avoiding her that she couldn't work around, knowing that she always went overboard trying to change herself to get his attention and getting rid of things she thought were coming between them (his spiritual books/Larry Geller/etc.)? Was this just one of a long line of excuses he made for not truly being in love with her and not wanting to try anymore? Did he actually eat the same sandwich every day, or did he just make a big deal about it one time because it was Lisa's birthday and he wanted to fly her somewhere special? And the other stuff he did eat every day, did he do it because it was one of the few things in his life he had control over, and could extract comfort from, or did he do it because, as he told Larry, he wanted to make himself sick of it so that it would no longer be a temptation? And how much of these conversations are either hearsay or someone putting words in his mouth to absolve themselves of something that bothered them?

The long and short of it is that people have sometimes reported things he said or did without any surrounding context, or it gets stripped away when it's reported elsewhere, and we are left with these moments that don't make sense or tell us anything about him unless we see how he dealt with them throughout his life, around different people, and see him as a whole person and not the Elvis Image that he tended to embrace when it suited him and resent when it hurt him. A really great moment that I think shows how Elvis tended to approach things is reported by Steve Binder, where he said Parker was telling Elvis absolutely not to do something, and Steve felt like Elvis just kind of shut down and mumbled "yes" until Parker left, and then Elvis' eyes flashed and he turned to Steve and said, "Fuck him," and did what he wanted to do. He was a people pleaser! A huge one! He valued loyalty above honesty. He was willing to lie to people he cared about if he felt that it would avoid a confrontation, and sometimes that tipped into a selfish "I want to do things my way," and sometimes that tipped into a selfless "I want them to have everything I can give them." And he waffled between those extremes because of his own low self-esteem and loneliness. I'm! Screaming! About this! At all times! He is an unreliable narrator, he's such a bubble of emotions that pops with the slightly scratch, he's so complex that you are not sure if he wants the bubble to be an opaque shield or a transparent boundary that you can slip through. He was testing people all the time to know if he could trust them with his heart without expecting him to be the Elvis Image, telling them things that were an invitation and a challenge and an insult and a declaration of love all at once, and so much of the problem we deal with now is that people are still completely uninterested in these depths. I???? Love him??? And the things he can help us learn about ourselves??? Just by trying to see him as he really was????

I don't know, I just get very overwhelmed!!!!

[pollymorgan]

Teacher Negan - The Football Game - Part 6

Warnings: Of course, there's still a big age difference and Negan is an asshole.

My night was short. Damn short. It wasn’t planned that I would sneak back into my hotel room at dawn. But things turned out that way, and it was worth every moment.

I probably just had the hottest night of my life. We made the most of finally sharing a bed again after months of only having desks, benches, or random gym equipment. Oh man, how many times did I come home on Monday after "gym class" with bruises because Negan accidentally pushed me against some bar or edge! But this night was simply heavenly. I can’t stop thinking about it. But now that I’m arriving at my room, I feel a bit queasy in my stomach. What if Layla isn’t asleep anymore? It’s not easy to find an excuse for being in your pajamas in the hotel hallway at 4 a.m.

As quietly as possible, I open the door, and it’s literally a weight off my shoulders when I see her sleeping peacefully. Phew, lucky me! I tiptoe to the bed and carefully climb in.

“What time is it?” a very sleepy voice asks, startling me for a moment.

“Way too early... let’s go back to sleep...” I whisper as softly as possible, but my answer isn’t needed anymore. I hear her snore lightly again.

When I wake up, it’s already bright in the room, and Layla is standing in front of me, dressed and brushing her long wet hair.

“Wow, good morning sleepyhead, finally awake? We didn’t even go to bed that late yesterday...”

A bit disoriented, I look around, and immediately, rather steamy images from last night flood my mind, quickening my pulse.

“Ah, I don’t know... must have been pretty exhausted!” I lie, stretching my limbs. Then I slowly push my blanket aside and head to the bathroom. With each step, I can still clearly feel that bittersweet ache in my core. Negan promised me last night that I’d hardly be able to walk afterward, and he was right, I think, not able to suppress a grin.

After I’ve showered and brushed my teeth, I put on a gray jogging suit and head to the breakfast room with Layla, who’s already waiting impatiently for me.

When we arrive, of course, we are the last ones. The room is already filled with the clattering of dishes and loud conversations.

I grab some food from the buffet and sit down with a few guys at a table, who are already signaling with hand gestures for me to join them.

As I approach the table, I notice they seem to be having a great time over something. I take a seat and curiously ask, “What’s so funny? I want to laugh too...”

Liam speaks up, "Oh, those two have the room right next to Mister Smith's, and apparently, things got pretty hot last night..."

Once again, they can hardly contain their laughter. My expression freezes, and I can barely get a word out from shock as I quickly try to collect myself.

"What, him? He probably just had his porno turned up too loud!" I try to respond as coolly as possible, noticing my cheeks starting to flush.

One of the guys wipes away tears from his eyes that have formed from all the laughter. "No, believe me, Sam, that was live. We could almost hear everything! Mister Smith seems to really know what he's doing... Now we've been speculating for a while about who the lucky one was..."

"Hmm... maybe it was the receptionist... you know, the one with the gray floral blouse? She looked like she might have a few tricks up her sleeve..." I say, hoping they don’t notice how hard my heart is racing in my chest.

My suggestion sends the guys into another round of laughter. It really seems like they have no idea who was actually in his room. Lucky me again.

- A month later -

My friendship with Layla, Liam, and a few others from the football team continues to grow stronger. These days, I spend not only my training time with them but also all my free time.

Of course, I can tell that Liam has a huge crush on me, and I can’t help but wonder what the whole situation would look like if I didn’t have Negan. But my feelings for him are far too strong, even though I know that there’s no future for us. But sometimes, reason simply has no say, like in this case.

Today is Wednesday again, which means it's training time, and it's becoming clearer and clearer that Liam truly has incredible talent. He is by far the strongest player on the team, and I have a blast cheering him on.

My girls and I have already finished practicing our choreography, so we have a few minutes left to watch the guys. Okay, my gaze is mostly on the coach. I love it when Negan wears his sports gear, focuses on observing the players, and yells out instructions. I could watch him for hours. Involuntarily, I bite my lower lip as my thoughts drift away. Only the sound of his whistle brings me back to the here and now.

"Alright, guys, that's it... training is over for today!" Negan announces, and at that moment, Liam joyfully runs up to me and sweeps me off my feet, spinning me around in a circle. I can’t react quickly enough and let out a startled laugh.

“And how was I?” he asks beaming with joy.

“Just as amazing as always!” I reply as he sets me back down on the ground.

“Don’t you think I deserve a kiss?” he says, holding out his sweaty cheek.

Without hesitation, I intend to give him a kiss, but at the last moment, he turns his head toward me, so my lips land directly on his mouth.

Startled, I pull back. “Hey, that’s not what we wagered...” I say, shoving him hard on the shoulders, which only earns him a cheeky grin.

After we change, we all say goodbye to each other extensively at the sports field and make plans for our next meeting over the weekend. While some are still smoking a cigarette, I take a quick glance at my phone.

A new text from “Mister N.”

I turn slightly to the side and open it immediately. “You better wait for me, we need to talk!!!”

He never has time for me after training, probably because his wife is always waiting for him at home with a cooked meal. That makes his text all the more strange to me.

I automatically start playing with the necklace around my neck that Negan gave me, which I have worn ever since.

Layla throws her cigarette on the ground and stamps it out. After she blows out her last puff of smoke, she reaches out her hand and asks, “Are you coming?”

She drives me home every time after training, and we always have an incredible time going over everything in detail.

“Oh no, um, just leave it... I think I’m getting a headache. Maybe I should just walk home today, it’s not far, and it would probably do me good...,” I stutter.

She looks at me in disbelief. “At this time? Nonsense! Take a pill, and that’s that...”

"No, really... it would be better..." I try to justify myself. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder and hear a very familiar voice behind me.

“I can drive Samantha... it's right on my way..."

Shocked, I turn around and look directly into Negan's face. He is freshly showered, his hair neatly slicked back. He has his sports bag slung over his shoulder and is now wearing a simple pair of blue jeans and a green t-shirt.

“You?!“ Layla asks, surprised, while I feel the questioning looks from everyone else standing around us.

Negan begins to grin, “Why not? Do I look like a damn serial killer?”

I shrug, “Well, if it's on the way... I mean...”

Negan just turns around and walks ahead. “Well, make up your mind, girl; I don't have all day..." he calls back.

Somewhat skeptically, I look around and then say, “So, I’ll see you guys at the latest on the weekend...”

After a quick goodbye from everyone, I hurriedly follow him, still hearing quite loud murmurs among my friends. They only think he’s driving me home, they have no idea, I try to convince myself.

Negan walks silently in front of me, and I have a hard time keeping up without having to run. As soon as he gets in his car, he starts the engine, and I barely manage to take a seat in the passenger side before he drives off.

"And now?" I ask him somewhat nervously, as I can’t gauge the situation at all.

Negan stares straight ahead at the road and says unfazed, “Now I drive you home!”

I buckle my seatbelt and also avert my gaze from him. “You wanted me to wait for you. Why?”

A jolt goes through me as Negan abruptly slams on the brakes at a red light. Then he looks directly at me, “Is he fucking you?”

I stare at him in disbelief, “Excuse me? Who do you mean?”

"Oh come on, don't play dumb, it doesn’t suit you!" Negan replies as he accelerates way too fast again.

I continue to stare at him in confusion because I truly can’t find words to describe the entire situation.

“That greasy guy, Liam... are you two sleeping together?” Negan asks, clearly irritated.

I slowly begin to get angry, and a big lump forms in my throat. What right does he have to be upset with me?

"And if so, what then? I didn’t know we’ve sworn loyalty to each other. I mean, after all, you're married too!" I blurt out provocatively, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest.

Suddenly, there’s such a silence in the car that it feels worse to me than any harsh word or false accusation.

I don’t want to argue with him, especially not over something like this. That's why I'm rowing back with my answer. 'But it's not like that, nothing is going on between Liam and me, really...' I add quietly.

'Leave my wife out of this...' he murmurs almost inaudibly.

For a while, I study his profile and then, feeling a bit shy, I place my hand on his thigh. My fingers slowly trace up and down his jeans as I observe every little reaction on his face. He tries to hide it, but I know him pretty well by now. He starts shifting a bit in his seat, which makes me smile.

'I only want you...' I whisper softly, leaning a little closer to him as far as my seatbelt allows.

He glances at me for a brief moment, and our eyes meet for a few seconds. But that little eye contact is enough to make my whole lower body start tingling like crazy.

'Then show me... show me how much you want me...' he challenges me, and I don’t have to think about it for long.

[amazingmsme]

That Was Funny. Laugh

AN: I haven’t forgotten about the rest of tickletober, don’t you worry! Here’s day 24 with Max & the nerds! I feel like he would probably try too hard to fit in with them, & it doesn’t exactly always work. But that’s ok, he’ll make it work! Think we all could use a bit of fluff right now…

Things were starting to look up. They were hesitant to say that the prank worked, but at least Max had stopped bullying them, and that was their main goal, so Pete marked it as a success.

The rest of the jocks started to change their tune, following Max's lead, and it had been weeks since he had a swirly or was shoved inside a locker. Pete and Steph were going steady, and the school play was really starting to come together. The Jagerman himself even invited them to the big game to watch him "stomp Clivesdale into the fucking mud." And what do you know, he did!

So things were honestly pretty great. There was just one little problem...

"Sup nerds!"

They all groaned in unison as he announced his presence from behind. He caught up rather quickly, slinging his arms around Peter and Richie's shoulders, the latter flinching at the contact.

"Oh, h-hey Max," he stuttered, trying to play it cool. Max didn't seem to notice, or he just didn't care. "What's up?"

"Oh nothin' much, practice got canceled 'cause of the rain so I gotta fuckin' walk home. Can you believe it?" he complained. Steph couldn't hide her smirk as she answered.

"Yeah I can, actually."

"Shut it, Lauter," he snapped, but it lacked the usual venom his words carried. "You never have to walk anywhere."

"Actually," she corrected, "I'm walking right now." Peter, Ruth, and Richie all snapped their heads to look at her, silently begging her not to say another word.

"Oh yeah? Where the hell are you nerds going? The fuckin' library?" he wheezed out a laugh, slapping a hand on his knee in amusement, although his laughter trailed off when he realized no one was laughing with him.

Steph merely arched a brow and crossed her arms. "No smartass, we're going to Pizza Pete's to win that ugly little doll Ruth's been wanting." Pleading stares turned to annoyed glances as she spilt the beans. The very act of telling Max where they were going was practically an invitation in his eyes.

"Really? Didn't know Spankoffski had his own pizza shop," he quipped, a smirk stretching across his face. That one was good, he had to admit.

And they still didn't fuckin' laugh! Are they brain dead or something?

"Ha ha, like I never heard that one before," Peter rolled his eyes, an annoyed smile tugging at his lips. At least Max was trying.

"Well if you need tickets to win the ugly fucker, I'm great at skee ball," he offered.

"Don't call him that! He's so fuzzy and cute, you guys are just mean!" Ruth whined, clutching her chest dramatically.

"Ruth, radioactive Cthulhu is not cute, he's just creepy," Richie deadpanned. Ruth stuck her tongue out as he returned the gesture.

"Come on you two, those tickets aren't gonna win themselves," Peter prompted, and they began walking down the sidewalk, dumb jock in tow. They all resigned to their fate of backhanded compliments and obscure sports references for the next two hours. Still, it was better than the way things used to be.

Not ideal, but surprisingly tolerable.

At least when he wasn't trying so damn hard. He would go out of his way to be what he considered kind, but was really the bare minimum at best. And Peter wasn’t exactly sure why he thought he needed to be funny for them to like him. Honestly, it was getting old.

Peter, Richie and Max stood off to the side as Ruth and Steph fed their tickets into the ticket counter. A waiter passed by carrying a pizza, and Max nudged them to get their attention, pointing at the restaurant’s signature dish.

“You see that?”

Peter and Richie exchanged confused looks and shrugged. “I guess…”

Max sported a proud, shit-eating grin. “I’d tell you a joke about pizza, but it’d probably be too cheesy,” he punctuated the joke with a deep laugh of his own as they just stared at him.

“I’m lactose intolerant, what the fuck are you talking about?” Richie deadpanned, clearly not getting the joke. Max rolled his eyes dramatically.

“It’s called a joke, dumbass! And it was funny, so you better laugh!” He took a step closer when Richie didn’t immediately comply. “Laugh,” he demanded, deciding to ditch the jokes all together and go for a more “hands on” approach.

“Mahahax! Whahat thehehe hehell?” he asked, thrashing from side to side as he managed to escape Max’s evil clutches.

“Ha! I knew you’d be ticklish! What about you Soanioffski?” he questioned, catching him off guard.

“Wha- me? Max, wahahait!” he cried out as Max targeted him as well. He scribbled up and down Richie’s side while his other hand prodded at Peter’s ribs. Richie flailed around uselessly, shrill giggles filling the air. Peter slapped at his hand, but Max wasn’t deterred in the slightest.

“How come you nerds never told me how ticklish you were? Think of all the fun we could’ve had!” he cheered, shoving his hands underneath both of their arms, eliciting two different giggly shrieks.

“Thahahat’s exahactly why wehe nehehever tohohold you!” Peter whined.

“We gotta make up for lost time then, don’t we? Don’t worry, I can hustle.” They started protesting, shaking their heads and tripping over their words as he wiggled his fingers closer and closer.

He was just about to really strike when Steph came to their rescue.

“Hey, I think we have enough tickets,” she called for their attention, a fond smirk firmly in place.

Max pulled them closer, ruffling their hair as he did so. “Don’t worry, we’ll pick that up again later.”

Y’know… call him crazy, but Peter wasn’t exactly dreading it.

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[lecliss]

Had a conversation last night with someone about the two times I've ever dated and I realized that when it comes to the first guy in middle school who came out as gay after like two weeks, he was probably using me as a beard cuz at one point he called me with his mom and had me tell her we were dating but cuz of anxiety it took several minutes for me to actually say it but that was likely him trying to convince her like "Hey I've got a girlfriend, see I can't be gay!" and like, homophobia from his mom aside, that's really fucking funny that I was a beard without knowing it and like six years later I ended up being a gay guy myself.

[townslore]

discovery of the day

[exopelagic]

okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!