#THEY'RE MY KIDS NOW

[everyoneprotector]

i love reading fics written by people clearly younger than me, 13-16 years old sort of age. some of the best and wildest ideas that I didn't know I needed to read. I swear, some of the young teens on ao3 are the brightest minds ever. I have no idea how they came up with that stuff but it's amazing.

at the same time, when they put trigger warnings in the text in the chapter is so sweet. i'm so used to it being like, in the notes in the chapter that it makes me pause and giggle. i love it. they're so worried for people.

[sunijhida]

suni had, like. the exact same reaction. like, growled at forchenault, looked like she was gonna claw his eyes out, only didn't because it might upset the twins. then she spins away from him to ask the kids if they wanna be her siblings or her children, and she promises that she'll be better to them than that repressed fucker ever was. she is standing between them and their dead beat dad. she is blocking his view of them, hands on their shoulders. she is kissing their foreheads, and hugging them, and saying how proud she is. she is glaring over her shoulder at the prick who couldn't show his children he loved them, and smirking in satifaction as he leaves. 'come on,' she is saying. 'let's go home.'

Plan B Guess he’s ready to start a family..?

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[chipper-smol]

star abducted :3

[crustaceousfaggot]

Shout out to Cishet White Teenager Christopher Paolini for realizing that if you give people infinite time, a completely non-judgemental society, and the power to change their bodies any way they want, lots of people are gonna start doing Freaky Anthro Transgenderism on themselves.

Like yeah, if I had the option I'd probably turn myself into a bizzare eldritch creature too

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[aquanutart]

THEY'RE BACK!!!! my childhood manga!!!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 113

“I seem to have been taken hostage.” Batman’s words almost had Superman panic if not for the wry tone, a tone which the others didn’t know if their freaking out was to go by. Clark sighed through the comms, tired after battle and honestly wanting to go to bed now.

“I’ll be right over, what child has latched onto you now?” He asked while switching to a more private channel. 

“I can already hear you making fun of me…” Wha- Oh. Clark bit his lip to keep himself from laughing as he took to the air. “They appear to be a pair of twins with…” 

“You gotta’ say it Bruce, you gotta’,” Clark couldn’t stop the chuckle when he saw his friend on the top of a building, cape curled around his form in a way usually reserved for the robins. 

“... with dark hair… and blue eyes…” That was it. Clark absolutely lost it in laughter. 

[egophiliac]

hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O

unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!

my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not

[doydoune]

something something about mentors and cycles and mentors and cycles

[hellmandraws]

I, for one, am looking forward to Viking Piece.

[thedawningofthehour]

On Splinter and Colors

I know we all joke about Splinter giving the red-eared slider the nickname Blue and I agree that it is indeed a peak troll dad move, but consider-

This is what we see of the baby turtles in Goyles Goyles Goyles

And this is the same picture put through a colorblind filter showing protanomaly, or red deficiency

Through deuteranomaly, green deficiency

And through protanopia, total red blindness

Yeah, makes sense why Leo might be Blue.

(there's green blindness and blue deficiency/blindness as well, but Leo's eye bananas still looked red in those)

If you haven't gotten to high school physics yet or have forgotten that lesson: we have three cones in our eyes that respond to light of different wavelengths, perceiving the color red, green, and blue respectively. All the colors you perceive are a mixture of these cones receiving light and yelling at you. (except for purple, purple's kind of weird) (as is black and white, and magenta, and-there are a lot of non-spectral colors, actually) Color blindness occurs when one or more cones is bad at its job or not working, resulting in the eye having difficulty perceiving that wavelength or not being able to see it altogether.

Now, considering he did give another child Red, he most likely can tell some shades apart. So I doubt he's completely red-blind. But it's very possible that he's red-weak or green-weak colorblind and literally saw Leo as having blue stripes as an infant, because they were in a shade he had trouble seeing.

This could also explain why he wore yellow-tinted glasses. They might have literally helped him see better by filtering everything to a wavelength he could see more comfortably at.

But, you ask, why didn't the name 'red-eared slider' tip him off? Splinter's not a native English speaker. He's fluent, but it's his second language and it is very different from his first. English is a confusing and often contradictory language, so even if he realized that red-eared was meant to refer to the markings around their ears that were red-well, what does he know? English came up with all sorts of weird, misleading names for things. The black mamba isn't actually black, goldfish can come in all sorts of colors, and there's a frog called the mountain chicken. Who is he to argue?

[narusasuart]

I love them a normal amount

... The normal amount is a lot, right?

[zaacoy]

Short freenoodles focused comic inspired in part by takakmimi's freenoodles post on twt!!

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

[helaenalyst]

this came to me in a vision and was drawn in a trance