#THEY’RE FROM PAYLESS OK

[a-leg-without-fear]

i present my daredevil OC, Cassie Clay! i’ll most likely make a whole post about her, details about her backstory and powers, etc. also, a little matt thrown in there for flavor

i may be doing a lot of digital art in the near future until i can get my pain sorted out. thank you all so much for your support and love for matthew murdock :)

[scoobydoomistakes]

We finally went thrifting again.

There were... treasurers.

Why look, it’s everyone’s favorite educational dog! 

It teaches kids all the different body parts. Like its hand...

...its foot...

...and its... uh... music.

Wait, shouldn’t it be paws– eh, close enough.

But that's the magic of a thrift store. It has everything you could ever need! 

Like, who hasn't found themselves suddenly in the market for, say...

...a crocheted wine bottle cover with three pom-poms glued to it...

...a Santa you can, allegedly, drink from…

...or a nice big bowl of Grand Theft Auto soup.

Mmmmm. Tastes like felonies!

Not practical enough for you? Fine. You can always have go with this–

–this... this... ok, we aren't quite sure which part is the knives, but we’ll get back to you on that.

Everybody knows there's no better plating option for the steak than “set inside a wicker basket.”

And of course nothing would be complete without the keystone of thrifting...

...some grandmother’s ancient Christmas records.

Because nothing says "the magic and splendor of Christmas morning”… 

...quite like a shoe store tie-in.

I’m sorry to report that Foot Locker Presents: Arbor Day and A Very Payless Shoes Source Ramadan don’t have quite the same charm.

And last but not least?

Something that... 

...

...that... um...

...that I’m simultaneously amazed, charmed, and horrified that it even existed.

I’m not sure if they’re listed in order of tree strata location, or if the Old-Time Gospel Hour Choir had to fight tooth and nail to get top billing.

–Colin (instagram! | photo blog!)

[luci-cunt]

Hi, welcome to my open worm can, here’s me not being able to shut up Cureless and Cynical version @sargent-major-jane​ whyyyyyyy do youuuu doooo thiisss too meee aksdjfl;askdj XDD <33

Ok so first of all, here’s the cast: Izyc, a demon; Walter, a vampire; Lou a werewolf 6 year old

The story starts out with Walter summoning a demon (who happens to be Izyc) because he wants to bring his friend (Caine) back from the dead. Walt’s at this point basically a dumbass rich fratboy and him and Caine had this pretty not great friendship that was super co-dependant and toxic because Caine is not a good person. Anyways, Caine ends up dying, but the circumstances seem fishy because no one will talk to Walter about it so he gets the fantastic idea to bring Caine back from the dead. 

Izyc’s a little ass tho and he’s like “how do you want him?” and so Walter orders one supersized friend resurrection. 

“Alright,” Izyc said, cracking his knuckles and standing up, “which one is he?”

Walter pointed to Caine’s grave and Izyc walked over to stand in front of it. He scanned the grave stone, it was made of lacquered wood, with Caine’s name burned into it. “A wonderful son and friend with an honest soul, he will be missed.”

“Must be nice to have one of these,” Izyc remarked, more joking than wistful, “I think my parents buried me in a Payless box in the backyard.”

“Sorry,” Walter said, not sure what to say. 

Izyc just shrugged, “them’s the apples,” he said, which didn’t make sense to Walter but Izyc was moving on.

There’s just one problem with this whole thing, and that’s the fact that Caine does NOT want to be alive. The reason no one told Walter about Caine’s death in detail was because Caine killed himself, and now he’s back as a nearly unkillable monster. 

So Caine mauls the hell out of Walter’s arm and turns HIM into a vampire. 

Some details about vampires in this world: they’re nearly unkillable. The only thing that can kill them is another vampire. The sunlight thing is a myth, Walt is allergic to garlic tho. Also he’s got fangs, and has better senses. Oh and there’s a wrinkle: the vampiric disease can be transfered thru bodily fluids--I promise this will be important later XDD

Anywhoo--Walt’s a vampire now and he’s grouchy and grumpy about it. he goes all emo and the story flashes forward 7ish years to him sulking in a bar even though he can’t get drunk he just LiKeS tHe BuRn. 

this is where we find out Izyc has stuck around, and that him and Walter hunt monsters. Also that Izyc really likes his pair of jeans. 

Izyc cried out as he hit the ground, scrambling to hold onto something as the gnome dragged him down into the tunnels. His arms hit the sides of the tunnel and stopped him and he cursed. 

Walter was on him in a second, grabbing him by the coat as Izyc held onto his arms and pulled against the gnome. 

“Fucking– catch– fire!” Walter yelled, straining to pull Izyc out of the hole. 

“I like these jeans!” Izyc yelled back, “Ow! Shit!” he yelped, probably as the thing’s claws started digging in. 

Oh also: since Izyc is a demon he’s got some magic powers, most namely: the ability to set himself on fire, the ability to conjure anything in the world as long as he makes a deal, and an immunity to vampire sicknesss. 

Also also: these are gnomes in this universe (description courtesy of Izyc’s bestiology)

Surprisingly large, looks a bit like if a mole and a man decided to shit on god’s face by fucking. Claws for hands and pointy faces with milky eyes covered by big, bushy eyebrows. Does not wear clothing, which is a sight, and known for dragging unsuspecting women into their dens during mating seasons. The species is exclusively male and very reclusive/ meek. Will not inhabit anywhere within a mile of another gnome.

So.... moving on.... Izyc and Walt have an odd relationship, they travel around the US living out of hotels (specifically one that’s run by a man eating ghoul named Klancy who may or may not be 100 years old). 

Some details to know about demons: most of them were desperate people who sold their souls to other demons for something in their life. Then when they die they get stuck in this limbo and are basically hellish office workers. People can summon Izyc, but the only ritual most know just pokes at him and he can ignore it. It’s actually how him and Walt get jobs, someone summon’s Izyc and gives him details and then Walt and him zip on over. 

So Izyc’s got nothing better to do and Walt was his first ever deal so sue him, he’s lonely, he just kinda sticks with Walt. After a couple of years tho they start fucking, and both claim it’s for convenience sake--mostly Walt tho, cuz he can’t have sex with anyone who isn’t a vampire unless he wants to make them a vampire and -- yeah anyways.

Izyc catches feelings though, and he tries to pipe up about it, but then Lou crashes into the story. 

Some details to know about werewolves: they don’t only transform under the full moon, but that is a sacred time for them. They’re very ostracized by the world, forced to live in tiny communities and keep to themselves because they’re “dangerous.” 

One day, a vampire comes through and murders Lou’s entire pack

and the two other packs living in the town with them. 

Lou is the only survivor, and she’s friends with a woman named Luca who mentions a bitchy-but-nice vampire named Walter. 

And so Lou’s grieving 6 y/o brain goes “only a vampire can kill another vampire, this is perfect” and tracks Walt down and twists his heart strings until he agrees to at least check the scene out. 

Details about Luca: she’s Walter’s ex-boyfriend’s step-sister and she’s also half banshee. She’s also also one of Walter’s only friends. 

Some details about banshee’s: contrary to popular belief they aren’t omens of death, rather just really fucked up people. They’re usually the product of a hateful birth and feel emotion so strongly they’ll only be able to feel one single emotion in their lives. Usually people’s first emotions when their born is fear, and thus--screaming banshee’s. However, if you’re only part banshee you feel other emotions but they’re still super strong, so Luca’s basically cracked out bipolar. She takes meds that help but if she doesn’t take them it gets BAD.

Anyways, Walter goes to the crime scene, it goes a little like this: 

It started as splatters, dried and dirty looking on the ground. Then it got thicker, darker, and more concentrated. The walls of surrounding buildings were painted with it, and the street looked like it had been bathed in it. At the end of the street, however, was a schoolhouse, which seemed to be the source of all of it. 

Walter’s shiver had nothing to do with the cold. 

“Hey!” a voice called suddenly, stirring Walter out of where he’d been standing, staring at the school. It wasn’t very large, just a long, single story building that had a lot of windows and big doors. Above them were rusting metal letters spelling ‘SMITH CREEK ELEMENTARY.’ Most of the windows were broken and the doors had been torn off their hinges. The lawn in front of the school – which had probably been grass before – was now torn up and muddied from countless claws scrambling and tearing it up. 

“Hey!” The voice called again, this time closer, “you can’t be here.”

Walter turned to find a man walking up to him. He was wearing an officer’s uniform and his face was scrunched up in annoyance behind a big paper mask that covered his mouth and nose. Walter could smell lavender on it. The officer was also quite a bit shorter than Walter, and he had blond hair and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at Walter. 

“I’m on business,” Walter said, “a consultant,” he lied. 

The officer gave him a shrewd look, “we didn’t hear anything about you coming up,” he said. 

Walter sighed, “it’s not my fault your department is useless.” The man’s face twitched. “I’m going back to work now, unless you want me to bother my superior and admit you messed up,” Walter said, brushing past the bristling man. 

“What kind of consultant are you supposed to be?” he asked, jogging a bit to catch up to Walter as he picked his way up to the school. There was a shallow set of stairs leading to the doors. The stairs were dark with blood and Walter almost expected them to be tacky. It had been days though, and they were dried by now. 

“Vampiric expert,” Walter said. 

“What are your credentials?” 

Walter turned and flashed his fangs. All the blood drained from the mans face and he took a few quick steps back. Walter didn’t stop walking, just tore through the caution tape blocking the doorway and went inside.

We find out later on that this is actually Caine’s doing, and Caine goes on a bit of the murder spree, which is what the book devolves into. Before it was some cases, a bunch of undocumented kishi (people with hyena faces on the backs of their heads) run into a wyvern problem that turns into a monster smuggling scandal. Izyc pisses off pirates which results in them kidnapping him to try and make Walt murder a bunch of mermaids, which just leads to the mermaids and Walt eating all the pirates. They meet another vampire named Marissa who happens to also be a warlock and zips them into a pocket dimension that’s like a 1950′s nuclear family where Izyc goes crazy, manages to escape, and then has to get into Walt’s pocket dimension and kill his alternate self.

yknow, the usual. 

This is so fucking long I’m so sorry if you managed to get all the way down here I owe you my whole soul aksjdf;lakjsdf;lkajsdf here’s some snippets: 

[of-oceans-and-skies-alike]

👁️👁️ I wanna hear them all. - DHZA

(Geez dem eyes doe)

ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR IT!!

Laviathan au

(Warning: bad puns ahead)

Now remember the au we were just talking about. Well the similarities stop right after The Red Lady tore out his core and used magic to keep him alive.

Blixer aged as an obedient, if not, sassy prince and eventually came the time, Blixer had had enough of his mother's bs an left the kingdom. Where ever he went, he brought the corruption with him into the open water.

And of course people didn't like that. And being as big of a target as he is in the water, he fled into the mountains for a couple of years.

After that though, he notcied a nearby mer village ge had been watching for a while now were getting surrounded by the corruption. Knowing it was kind of, sorta his fault, he dove in and surrounded the village, keeping the villagers safe.

From there he mostly slept. The villagers were too scared to see what would happened if they pissed off the giant laviathan that is more or less protecting them, and he was more or less two tired (guess he's a bicycle) to do much except watch.

So they were like that for awhile. Until one day, someone approached Blixer, leaning up against him as they started to read. It was Ace, and she either didn't seem to notice who she was up against, or she did it on purpose and was crazy. But either way, it started as a kind of thing with them.

On slow days, Ace would rest on the bridge of his nose and they'd read together. On busy days, he'd watch the village traffic.

He'd never admit it, but he'd gotten attached to the little town.

Things were all but quiet until one day something happened at the tree of life. A beacon of hope was ignited and Blixer couldn't place why, but it spiked his anxiety. He put a barrier over the water's surface, to make them less noticeable and lowered himself to the seafloor, constantly watching the surface.

His anxiety only spiked the other's anxiety, but Ace was the only one that could talk to him and actually get answers out of.

Ace: what's wrong?

Blixer: *bearly uttered a small whine*

Ace: hey....it's ok...did that light scare you?

Blixer: I....I can't put a finger on it. It filled me with such a feeling of-of DREAD. I can't stop shaking.

Ace: it's ok! We're right here, nothing's going to hurt you.

Of course Ace was wrong. But at the same time not really. The heroes arrived somehow in some way.

And I'm not sure what to put here. But somehow in some way, they managed to convince Blixer that he needed to go to paradise with them.

Once there Blixer questions why he was even there in the first place. And that's when Cyan shows him the core.

And Blixer SCREAMS.

(Potential in game events can happen here)

Mafia au

Ok so I'm just gonna say this here. Grey means the boy is DEPRESSED. And as Pirate is blue and Laviathan/Prince is pink. This one here is Grey.

Now as grey as he is, the only thing he can do is glow like a nightlight, his eyes and teeth being the only things that are a constant. And you can BET YOUR KEYBOARD that he uses that to his advantage later in life.

But lets start back at the beginning. He grew up in the Golden Kingdom in the area that was very much dangerous to live in.

So much so you're bound to lose a limb. Or in Blixer's case, all of them. It was a very grizzly sight. He lost them all at once before his instincts kicked in and in one fell swoop, not only killed the guys that did it, but fled the kingdom without getting caught.

There he found himself in the swamp town.

After that it got better.

He found an abandoned store house, stuffed to the brim with musical instruments that the town didn't use anymore. And being a dabbler of music, he was pretty much in heaven.

He was playing a Trumpet one day when he's spotted by this yellow circle named Buddy. He wanted to be an aspiring musician but there was no one that could teach him. He was about to give up when he heard a trumpet being played.

Buddy literally begged Blixer to teach him how to be a musician. And Blixer didn't even last long enough for Buddy to pull out the puppy dog eyes before he caved in.

Literally the next day as Blixer was playing his morning piece Buddy shows up with like a fifth of the town following him.

Blixer didn't notice till he heard the applause right behind him, nearly scaring him out of his skin.

And that's how he started a Payless job of teaching the neighborhood kids how to play music.

Whenever he's not teaching, he'd go out into town and help around whenever he could. After all he's practically using THEIR things for his own personal gain, also he was bored so it wasn't so bad.

And that's how he met Granny! She's this old kind Hexagon that often buys so much food, Blixer has to rush in before she accidentally drops any of it.

Around this point, Blixer was rather well known around town and of course there were going to be some rumors circling about that targeted him. He has killed people after all, surely word would get out about this grey monster.

And he was almost attacked about it too! But that's when his students came to his defense, saying that there was no way he'd do that.

And that was the start of the Mafia filled with nothing but Bards. They will, no joke, play Fler de lis with a piano and a rubber chicken at ur funeral, everyone wearing a straight af face that you would laugh at, if it weren't so serious.

Of course Ace would eventually join in, being one of Blixer's personal friends besides Buddy. But unlike most au's Ace is a Rouge, often leaving town and returning with one story or another to tell.

Ok enough back story

The story starts Ace coming back to town with the group of heroes.

In the path where Ace is just traveling with them, the heroes approach Blixer and Cyan steps up, saying that they're related.

Silence fills the air as Blixer and Buddy slowly turn to look at each other. Before bursting out in laughter.

Yeah good luck with that Cyan, you two look literally nothing alike

(In this au though, Cyan and Blixer are siblings but how tf would Blixer even once think "oh hey, this guy that looks NOTHING LIKE ME must be family" he'd sooner believe him and Buddy were related than Cyan.)

Cue compilation of the heroes trying to warm up to Blixer with everyone's advice and proceeding to freak Blixer out because it's obvious that they're trying too damn hard for something as stupid as family.

(Meanwhile back at the mainland the Tree of Life is in trouble and the rumored fifth hero is supposed to help the heroes, when joined up with the others, save the tree)

In the branching path where Ace is a caretaker, the last time Blixer saw her was when she was leaving to return Spades's triangle to the tree, making her promise to not bond to it.

When Ace shows up he's happy for all of two seconds before he sees the glowing mark only he and heroes could see. He suddenly falls silent and leans up against Ace's chest. Before anyone could get an answer out of him, he walks away, heading to his room to let out all of his frustrations out on his punching bag.

Remember when I mentioned the whole hybrid thing? Well since Blixer's connection with HIS caretaker has been cut up, he's just a normal shape. And if he was raised right, he could've retained his color. But he's just stuck in the inbetween.

So what I'm saying is, in his fits of rage, starting from his hands and eyes, he start turning pink. Buddy is the only one aware of Blixer's condition and is the only one allowed to follow after him to help calm him down.

It doesn't last as long as most, as he's more sad than angry. He breaks down into sobs and Buddy is there to dry his eyes.

He's scared that since Ace is a caretaker, he'll never be able to see her again. Which is a VALAD fear, seeing that caretakers usually go into paradise which is open to very few people.

But after some talking to Buddy, they conclude that people come and go and even if your heart still screams, you can't stop them from moving on. And that they'd talk about later.

But the conversation still took a while, so the heroes had went off to explore.

Only to find themselves cornered in an alleyway by a random Beat.

Ok so remember when i said that Blixer would take full advantage of his glowing eyes and teeth?

This is a GOOD example of it.

As the heroes were cornered, sudden music fills the air as siloetes covered the rooftops of the buildings around them. And in the center of them all was the Cheshire Cat himself with the biggest grin on his face.

Initiate the battle sequence with random dance to the beat incorporated into it.

It turns out that the Beat was another one of Blixer's students and he was just waiting for his class when this group of shapes bonked him on the head.

It's from here that Blixer decides these idiots need to learn some street skills.

[bugpoke-remaking]

outfit memes and inspiration boards almost never work for my characters and it’s really funny because the reason it doesn’t work is that they’re all grown! they’re all like 30 and lame they’re not wearing oversized sweaters with adidas sneakers they just bought a pair of loafers from Payless shoe store and get pumped about how the price was a “huge steal” ok!!!!

[xo-dailypier-blog]

[Post 1 of 3]

Wow! What a week. Summer Crush truly took the life of me, and the way some of these hook ups went, it took the life out of you too. 

Instead of giving everyone an entire rundown of the day-by-day events, I took it upon myself to collect the top ten moments that I felt really stood out to ME, The Daily Pier!

TEN.

I should probably start this countdown off with the Noah/Diana/Natasha triangle going on that none of them know that they are a part of. It’s the most heartwarming thing to happen during this event and I LOVE it! Ok, so just to catch you all up to speed, #SinCarter were married once upon a slay. They eloped when they were off being WAR CRIMINALS for the USA or whatever. So once Natasha began to explore her latent homosexuality that she had repressed all these years the two came to the mutual agreement to just divorce. (Also, her sister was dealing with like, a meth addiction, or something, so that probably didn’t help the relationship). So fast forward 10 years and here they are in the same town with TONS of baggage, and unfinished business.

BUT WAIT a new challenger approaches in Diana Taylor. Noah and Diana have been getting pretty close these past view months. Some people have even said that he’s the rebound to that Daniel guy she was dating. I mean, after MONTHS of heavy petting and will they/won’t they, after their Summer Crush date, rumor has it that the two went back to Noah’s place and … well … *fellatio noises*. Obvs this can’t get out because Diana is in the public eye, so don’t tell anyone.

With a new woman in his life, and the old one present with a lot of shit to work out with him, this new season of the Aryan Chronicles looks promising!

As for who I ship? Well, I want to say #SinCarter because the mutual feelings of their past came back full force during this event. And I still ship Olivia/Diana and Diana/Wes. Neither of which will happen because 1.)Diana and Olivia are “”””””straight”””””””” and 2.)Ever since Diana RANDOMLY left New York she’s been keeping everyone at arms length, especially Wes. Who has too much love to give, and doesn’t deserve that. Who’s to say she won’t do the same to Noah?

I’m watching you Diana (if that is your real name).

NINE.

Q: Rexless_Fan asked “Victor and June hooked up in a fantasy suite and they're roommates so now it's awkward and scandy cuz they haven't told their third roommate at all!”

A: IM SORRY, WHAT BITCH??!!

SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT DURING THEIR MOVIE NIGHT THE POPCORN WASNT ALL THAT WAS POPPIN, BUT HER PUSSY WAS ALSO?!!!!! I KNEW THAT JUNE WAS SECRETLY A BAD GIRL UNDERNEATH IT ALL. SHE PRETENDS THAT SHE ALL PURE AND INNOCENT AND JUST LIKE SIT IN A FUCKING CORNER WITH HER FUCKING BUGS AND FLOWERS OR WHATEVER BUT ANYBODY WHO FUCKS A BACK UP SINGER FOR A MARGINALLY SUCCESSFUL BAND CLEARLY LIVES ON THE FUCKING EDGE!!

I HEARD THE NEWS THAT JUNE, THE DOLL BABY, ARMSTRONG GOT THAT #DIC BUT I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT AND IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE SHE IS INDEED A SCREAMER!!!!!!

COMING IN AT NUMBER NINE IS JUNE, WHO HAD YOU ALL FOOLED INTO THINKING SHE WAS A INNOCENT ANGEL BABY. WEVE DECIDED TO STAN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

EIGHT.

Coming in at number eight is Phobe “Pharrah Abraham” Cole. It’s true, she was on top of things in more ways than one. But who am i to judge? I actually think it’s progressive, and super inspiring. I mean, ok, take this with a grain of salt, Im not really trying to lie but ... Phobe? Phobe has Genital Herpes. It’s been two weeks since a flair up (according to sources close to her) and I think it’s really brave of her to disclose her status with the MYRIAD of men she ENGAGED with during the week. It just goes to show that it CAN be done! I mean, you did tell them ... right Phobe? Moving on! I will say that while did used to ship Jack/Phobe during the night they hooked up but since Jack allegedly only lasted about 4 minutes it makes me wonder about a future with the two. So many girls who have been with him have written in and told me sex with him is ABYSMAL! He spends the entire time looking in the mirror or taking selfies that he refuses to be focused on the matter at hand. Of course this is all a rumor, but would you really put it past our neighborhood beauty queen? But I guess this isn’t about Jack, and his short comings. Anyways...

SEVEN.

Q: SharkThot asked “Hey DP I just want to start off by saying that I love your site, I’ve been a loyal viewer for years! And I hope Myles Bennett sees this because I love him even more! I don’t care what you say about him DP, Myles is my bae and would never do anyone wrong! Ugh, He makes me (Shark)Weak! I did see him earlier last week getting BULLIED by that Stark Bitch. What was that about?”

A: Aww, SharkThot,

I assume you mean Heidi Stark, the elusive chanteuse. Her arrival has caused quite the controversy, considering she materialized out of no where. I guess this particular countdown entry will have more to do with her than the actual question. But for those of you who don’t know, Heidi Stark is Julian’s slightly more attractive sister. Her strong presence is quite intimidating, but according to a lot of sources ... She’s a complete fraud. She speaks in an Australian accent, but some say she’s from, like, Missouri and only picked up an accent for #clout. Her “designer” clothes? Ross (Dress for Less). And she apparently was spotted raiding a bunch of Payless Shoe Stores for the cheapest prices prior to their shutdown, where she then proceeded to paint the bottom of all the shoes she got red. Oh! And the degree she got from that fashion school on New York? FORGED! She totally went to Devry. I mean, it’s nothing wrong with that, but omg, just be honest girl. Anyways, back to the point. The #BabySharks (Myles’ fandom name) were INCENSED when they saw Fraudi CORNERING Myles at the speed dating event. According to by standers she was totally waving her finger in HIS FACE, SHOVING HIM repeatedly before pouring the ENTIRE CONTENTS of her martini onto his FACE! You would think that since he works in the ocean (and is used to having liquids on his face (Golden Showers ... other bodily fluids) ), Myles would have been unbothered by her VICIOUS ATTACK, but it was said that he left CRYING. Poor Guy. (Lol sike i don’t give a fck).

SIX.

Q: Loganista asked “How could you possibly still be loyal to “King Jason” when all he cares about is that CUNT Alex. You know I saw them going into one of those FUCK SUITE when just 2 days ago they hated each others guts. They make me sick. Do you think it’s time to move on DP?”

A: Hey Loganista,

Ugh, same! You know, Logan Lancaster, and BernBern<3 are right there looking all sexy and things of that nature, hmm, so who knows .. perhaps I could move on one of these days. But not now. But speaking of LongDick Lancaster and the #Jalex reunion you mentioned, the #Lolex and #Jalina dates were less than eventful. The two spent the entire time thinking of the other instead of getting to know the people I set them up with. It makes me feel really bad for LDLogan because he is truly such a nice guy but everyone he gets involved with, is using him. Leah totes just uses him as a dick call, and Alex is always using him as a rebound. When she was on the date with Logan all she could talk about was Jason, Jason, Jason. I heard she told Logan that if it were “6 months ago” (when she wasn’t involved with Jason) she would totally be on all fours for him. Which is bullshit, because she totally FUCKED Logan like, two weeks ago when she was mad at Jason. So what’s the truth Alex?

Thank God Alegenda came out of this unscathed. I wouldn’t want a QUEEN like her with court jester Jason. Sadly, she won’t be able to be with Devin like I wanted, since he had sex with Phobe and … well…

FIVE.

Speaking of Jason, another Sorrentino is on the list of topics for tonight. Brooklyn Sorrentino! Ok, so for those of you who don’t know. Brooklyn was seen crying after an encounter with her ex, Grayson Fox. As I’ve said before, they were engaged to being MARRIED, but out of no where, he left her.  So. naturally I did a little more research on she and her GrayBae Fox and what I found blew my wig right the fuck off. Ok, so it is alleged that (Actual) Daddy Sorrentino (that’s Jason/Brooklyn’s dad) PAID HIM OFF because he had no plans of a complete and total LOSER like Grayson dating, and MARRYING, his daughter. So after receiving this unknown amount of money, Grayson left Brooklyn a note saying his Goodbyes. And now … all the have is memories.

OF COURSE I don’t believe this shit! I still think the bitch's pussy stinks, so he didn’t want to wake up to that every frickin’ day of his life. And besides, it’s been how many years? Wouldn’t he have just told her what’s up at this point? Instead of moving into the same town as her, and acting like NOTHING is wrong? And then proceeding to FLIRT with the LIKES OF DAKOTA SONG? Yes! The two were seen getting pretty cozy, locking fingers, playing footsies, and exchanging hair-care regimes during Summer Crush. Poor Brooklyn, first she got beat up by Phobe and THEN we find out she lost her man. What a loser.

FOUR.

Q: AshersBabyMomma asked “STOP making fun of Asher! It’s so mean!!!!!!!! Asher is really trying his best to get by and all you do is pick on him! Us #Ashies will boycott your blog if you do not stop!”

A: Well, you’re in luck because coming in at number __ is Asher himself! 

And you’re right AshersBabyMomma, Asher has surprisingly been on his best behavior recently. Either that, or you demons have managed to make him look like an angel. Honestly? I think I’m actually going to start being nice to Asher. No more calling him things like “Crackhead Asher”, Ashy Lip Asher, Ashy Asher, and more things Of That Nature. He’s really gotten his act together and I’m so proud of him, and even more apologetic for the way I’ve treated him. 

A moment of silence for the old me that used to make fun of him…

…

…Anyways, Asher is an Escort now (as I said before). He totes is fucking [redacted] in exchange for money and drugs (CRACK not included). In FACT, it is alleged that he offered his services to Alec Clarke. Again, this could all be made up, but they were spotted disappearing into a hotel together where they stayed until the sun came up. (#Romantic) Now girl MIND YOU, Alec is Adam’s roomie, and multiple sources have claimed that he is secretly in LOVE with him! Which is a LIE! If Alec IS a MLM then he has WAY better standards than a Tax Evasionista. And I’m sure Asher has better standards than Alec… well … *Hot Dog on a Stick Flashbacks*..

Nevermind.

THREE.

Q: Emrestoplip asked “Ugh but the Yavuz family are all HOT and not problematic unless ur holding out on us DP”

A: Well I must admit they ARE all hot but sadly they are just as problematic as the rest. 

Specifically that Kessa girl. Her Lifetime Original Movie of a life has completely ruined the dynamic of her family. It’s made both Emre and Leyla (her siblings) RESENT her more than they care to admit and thing are sups awkward between all of them. It’s really sad. Funny that this is the entry right after an Adam mention because coming in at number four are both Adam and Kessa. The two were paired for a date and things got Out of Control.

It really has placed Adam on my heart throb list because little did I FUCKING know that Adam knew how to THROW IT DOWN in the bedroom. The two were caught on camera BANGING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER, FOUR TIMES IN ONE WEEK. Here I thought Adam was the only sane Aldridge, but it was all a SHAM. HES THE WORST OFFENDER!!!!

NOT ONLY is he a BEAST in the SHEETS, he was spotted EATING KESSA OUT on the SIDE of a BUILDING!!! IM LITERALLY SCREAMING! and to make matters worse, Kessa then left him and got eaten out by, one, Marley Callahan. I SERIOUSLY HOPE EVERYONE GOT TESTED AFTER THIS WEEK because you guys are OUT of your MCFREAKIN MINDS.

I guess you can catch Kessa in first AND second service on Sunday now that she got the most sanctified, purified, holyfied COCK of her life. Amen!

TWO.

Q: MackenziesStolenBrushes asked “Any updates on #JaiMac?”

A: This is a great way to almost end this countdown.

For those of you who don’t know Jamie and Cunty Westwood have decided to amend their troubles and get back together. (Yes, the paintbrushes (that Jamie hid) are back in Cunty’s easel, or whateverthefuck.) This might not be the sensational drama that you were expecting to see at the end of this list but I think it’s a great closer. Jamie and Mac are a shining example of a healthy relationship, and I’ve decided they should ALMOST close out the show.

I do wonder if Jamie found out about the times Mac engaged in MULTIPLE hardcore sexual acts with the #DemonDick himself, Julian Stark. They only ended their fling like two days before #JaiMac got back together, so I’m sure they did? Omg not to gossip, BUT, ok,  I don’t know how to say this politely, but ... there was ass eating involved (on Mac’s end … obviously… I mean, look at him...), and a lot of “I love you’s” were shared between the two. Not to mention cuddling. Late night phone calls, texts, and omg I'm pretty sure they were almost a couple.

Anyways, this might have happened before the event, but to see these two going into PRIDE MONTH a happy couple really is iconic and I thank them for deciding to work things out. Love you two! Kisses!

xx

So I’m sure, you’re wondering who Number 1 is ... 

find out tommorrow.

xo, DP.

[maximumkillshot]

The Situation-Part Three

Warnings: Mentions of Menstrual cycle, Gender bent! Dean Winchester, Some Cursing,  I can’t remember anything else at the moment but I hope y’all enjoy!

Pairing: None

Characters: Gender Bent! Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, ofc Stacey, omc Kyle

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy!!

“All I Could Do” Masterlist- CLICK HERE

Overall Masterlist- Click Here

“When You Call” Masterlist- Click Here

Wanna Chat? Click Here

“The Situation” Masterlist- Click Here

Previously:

Soon I felt myself plop down in Baby’s back seat…

As soon as Baby’s engine roared to life I said, “Hey Sammy?”

“Yeah, Dean?”

“I’m glad you came back…”

“What?”

“After Jess… I was afraid you’d pull away… that I’d lose you for good, y’know… but you didn’t… Maybe it’s selfish of me or maybe it’s the booze but I’m happy you came back… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You would’ve been fine,” said Sammy.

“No, I wouldn’t have been ‘fine’. I wasn’t fine when you were gone either… I missed you. Had no idiot little brother to nag me about my Nirvana tapes. Would’ve never had fun like I had tonight, wouldn’t have anything without you.”

“Shut up… Missed you too…”

“We’re a team, right Sammy?”

“Yeah… yeah, we are…”

“Mmmm I knew it,” I said as I passed out.

My head, it’s throbbing so much, and my stomach, oh my god my stomach. Why is my back killing me?

“Gahh what happened?” I said absentmindedly as I tried to stretch, then I felt my hand hit something, cold and porcelain. When I opened my eyes I realized, I was in my bathroom on the floor. When I looked down at my body I got scared…. “WHY AM I STILL A CHICK?” I whined to no one. The minute I moved my ass I felt wet…

Almost knowing what was coming I got up and I felt a rush of fluid in my pants, I couldn’t control it… I just looked up to God and said, “C’mon C’mon no whammies, no whammies….” and I pulled down my pants…

“OH MAH GOD,” I said almost horrified... The stench... The feeling, the sheer amount… Blood and goo were everywhere on that pad...okay…

Halfway through the cleanup, I decided to just give up on the whole thing entirely and chuck the panty and the pad away. I jumped into the shower and started to scrub until I felt human again. When I got out of the shower Sam was waiting at the doorway of my room…

“Ah, she lives I see,” said Sam…

“I’m more surprised than you ever could be… Are you sure just the lining is being shed here because I saw enough blood and guts to Frankenstein a whole damn organ.”

“I would say too much information but it’s too late for that.”

“Hey, if I’m being emotionally scarred so are you.” I quipped.

“How are you feeling though…” asked Sam.

“Like I need more clothing and shoes, if Rowena isn’t going to be here for a few more days, I can’t just wear the same thing…” I said begrudgingly.

“You aren’t gonna like half of the things they have at the store, they’re all either pink, purple, or a dress.” I looked with a slight smile. Hmmm, maybe a dress isn’t that bad. “What is that face for?” I asked what face and he replied with, “That’s the ‘i have an idea but I’m not sure you’ll go with it’ face.”

“Don’t say anything until I finish” I said as I played with the hem of my shirt, “Ma-maybe a dress isn’t as bad as it seems,” Sam’s jaw dropped as I continued, “I mean think about it, with these diaper torture chambers on, having some airflow wouldn’t be too bad. I feel like I’m being smothered here, maybe some breeze would be good.” Sam replied with a smart quip about heels and I responded with, “I actually heard that heels work out the calves and help with balance, after all, if a drunk chick can walk in heels, I’m pretty damn sure I can walk in them too.”

As soon as we set foot in the mall I was assaulted with the smell of cologne from the Abercrombie and Fitch store, which always gave me a headache.

Why are all the guys staring at me… No matter how many ‘get away from me or I’ll shoot you’ vibes I send, they still stare. Every once in a while, while Sam strayed away from me, more guys kept on coming up to me, hitting on me… ON ME….. a HUNTER…. Every time I have to remind myself I’m just playing a role, kind of like how I have to act like I care when Sammy talks about lore. Smile… say “thank you”, awkwardly walk away towards Sammy, Sammy scowls, they walk away, repeat. Over and over again….

I mean I don’t blame them, I’m hot… like 12 alarm fire in a 2 alarm apartment hot… I mean I make ghost peppers jealous, but that doesn’t mean that they need to stare at me like that… right? Is this how I always treated women at bars… Gawking, shooting my shot, scoring or walking away…. I never considered how they felt… Like a fucking trophy, an item to be won… It feels miserable. I’m just trying to live yet I can’t walk 5 feet away from Sammy without being approached by a random guy.

“Sammy can we leave pleaseee” I whined as I saw him pick up yet another flannel from the rack in an all men’s clothing store.

“This would go faster if you’d tell me, which one do I pick?” Asked Sam as he picked two flannel’s off the rack, one a seafoam blue, another a chestnut red.

“Seafoam, definitely seafoam, goes better with your eyes and offers a pop of color from that mop on your head that you call a hairdo,” I said as plainly as possible. Sam looked at me weird and I replied with, “What? You think I’m going to let you buy something that doesn’t flatter you? I may be moody but I am not cruel.”

“Awee you two are such a cute couple!” Said a tiny female associate of the store. I scoffed as Sammy pulled me closer and said, “Thanks so much.

“How long have you two been together?” gushed the woman.

“Too damn long” I grumbled.

Sam replied with, “Haha, Deena, you are too funny, we’ve been together since Middle School.” Oh, I bet he’s enjoying this. As soon as I become tall again I’m kicking his ass. If I tried now it’d just make things worse… right now the chant in my head is ‘just give it time, give it time.’

“You are such a lucky woman, someone as tall and handsome as him,” said the woman.

I replied with, “He may look like this now but in middle school. Man he was zit city, had about as much muscle mass as a piece of paper, and the highest pitch voice you’ve ever heard.”

“OH MY GOD, THAT’S ADORABLE!!!!!” She squealed, “It was never about looks huh?”.

I replied, “No, it was about me being fed up with stretching to reach the top shelf… In return, I prevent him from committing fashion crimes.” She started laughing as Sam’s face turned a bright red and I pinched his cheek saying, “Something wrong Baby? You look a little flustered…”

“Mmm fine. I guess we are going with the seafoam?” Said Sam.

“Only if you wanna make your eyes pop Pumpkin!” I said with exaggerated enthusiasm as I snatched the flannel from his hand.

As the sales associate walked away Sam said, “I was trying to sell it, you didn’t need to be such a dick.”

I replied with, “Just wanted to remind you that, normally, I have one.” After we paid we then headed to where Sam found the camisole and the jeans, Rue21.

As as we walked in I immediately said “No… nononononono” It looked like the 60s and today’s pop culture threw up all over the store. Pink and Purples scattered the walls, literally fighting for my attention, almost immediately giving me a headache. The only saving grace being the one Rolling Stones sweatshirt they had, and even then, it was cheap, it was scratchy, it was never going on my body… that I definitely knew.

“Sam we’ve gotta go,” I said near a mental breakdown. “These colors give me a headache and I have no clue but I think that the garbage that they’re playing isn’t helping…” As soon as I heard that I heard a random man yell ’squaaa’ and I jumped. Sam laughed as I replied, “How are you so calm, it looks like John Lennon got high on acid, came to the present day, and tried to make clothing that combined the two eras, man. That’s not to mention the Barbie clothing everywhere so can we please just leave…”

“I’ve never seen you so worked up over music, relax man it’s just Fetty Wap,” chuckled Sam…

I looked confused, “Sam, stop speaking in tongues before I exorcize you. The point is that we need to get the hell outta here before  any of the poor sonsabitches that were hired here spot us.”

“Well, then where are we gonna find clothing?”

Then I remembered….. LISA! Lisa told me about how girls like to help each other pick out clothing. “I got it!”, Sam looked intrigued, ”I’m gonna ask a random chick who is dressed like an actual human being where they got their clothing. I remember Lisa telling me that girls would ask for her fashion advice all of the time…. And she actually liked it!”

“Why didn’t I think about that?” asked Sammy.

“I have no idea, you’re usually the smart one…” I said as I lead the way out.

We basically roamed around until I found this hot chick that was walking around with a dude who looked like a jock of some sort. She had a style that I actually liked, she had camo pants on that hugged her ass perfectly, a ripped up AC/DC tee with a nice camo jacket, and a nice pair of heeled combat looking boots to go with it. I immediately smacked Sam on the chest and I said “Her… she can tell me where to go…”

I immediately made a beeline to her smiling, she immediately smiled back and I said, “I’m sorry to bother you guys, but I absolutely adore that outfit, where did you get these clothes?”

She smiled and giggled as she said “Oh these? Thanks so much, I got the camo pieces at Torrid, the shirt at Hot Topic, and the boots were at Payless for  $15. Well, it’s easier if I just show you..”

“Ok, where are those places?” I giggled, trying to seem as confident as possible, soon I felt Sam behind me, I introduced him to the couple. I found out her name was Stacey and her boyfriend's name was Kyle.

Stacey looked at me and said, “Y’know what, how about you and me go shopping and the boys can hang out and do their thing.”

I looked at Sam and he said, “Go if you want to, babe. You spotted that outfit from across the mall… Go for it, have fun!”

Kyle looked at Sam and said, “C’mon there’s a Bass Pro Shop… I heard they got new crossbows in… let’s let the girls be girls, call us when you’re done, okay?” he then kissed her on the lips and walked towards Sam, almost expecting him to come up to me.

Sam walked up to me and said “Alright babe, if you need anything let me know okay” then he kissed me on the forehead… I…. I don’t know how to feel right now. I wanna kick him in the balls, so so badly. Yet… I admire the way he navigated the situation. The next thing I knew I was being pulled in the opposite direction by Stacey.

The first place we set foot in was Hot Topic. The minute we walked in I took a giant breath. All of this was my style. Graphic tees were everywhere plus jackets that looked stylish yet functional, ones that actually fit a phone in the pocket instead of those ‘fashion’ jackets that stitched all of theirs shut. Immediately Stacey and I got to work, combing through the racks until we found some pieces that I could try on. After I found what I liked and what looked good, we moved onto Torrid.

In Torrid, there were more graphic tees but they also had some formal wear, like peacoats and formal shirts. But then we went to the back, where there were sexy ass dresses and lingerie.

“So, what’s your size?” she asked as she held up a sexy red lace bra.

“I, uh, I don’t know” I answered. It’s not like the boulders on my chest were the first thing to worry me.

‘OK, let’s get someone to measure you, because I am loving this bra, plus it’ll go perfectly with that mesh Rolling Stones shirt you got from Hot Topic.” She said as she went to find someone. After a few minutes, a girl with a tape measurer came at me.

“Hello my name is Ashlynn and I’m one of the associates here. Your friend said that you wanted to get sized for a bra?” asked the woman. I just nodded. I had no idea how this worked.

She told me to lift my arms and I did, then she got all in my personal space as she wrapped the tape around me then squeezed it tight. Then she told me to put my arms down and slid the tape up and over my nipples, which was… oddly pleasant and she stated, “So you’re a little small for our sizes, you’re a 32 C. Which I’m sure Victoria Secret has in its stock, in the plus size section.”

“What?” I asked shocked, “Hold on, 32 is plus sized?”

“Uhh yeah”

“What the hell’s small like?”

“ A double zero is their smallest”

“How can a human skeleton be that small?” I asked shocked.

“I honestly don’t know. Some people starve themselves, some work out until they have literally no fat on their bones… Some people are just born like that.” Said the woman as she started to look around the store.

“So is anything in here going to fit me because I really like the styles,” I said almost saddened by the news.  

“Our 00 size is a size 10-12 so that should fit your frame since your shoulders are a bit wide, but we definitely have pants for you, since your hips are wide, we make jeans and pants specifically made with more room for your curves. Let’s see what we can find.”

As soon as we started looking for jeans, Stacey came back with a dress that had a giant slit at the side and a plunging neckline, “Deena, you have to get this! You HAVE to, I know it’s going to look killer on you. With those hips and that ass! You’re gonna make Sam drool in this.” I tried my best not to puke when she said that, but then it hit me…. This is the best prank opportunity ever…

“Okay let me try it on. Also, they don’t have my bra size here, but they do at Victoria’s Secret, could you go by there and get me a few sexy ones?” I asked shyly, it’s literally the next storefront so it wouldn’t be a giant trip. I gave her $50 and she went off to the lingerie store.

After finding a few pieces I went into the dressing room. I found a great leather jacket that had a bunch of classic rock band emblems on them, which I had to have…. Damn I’m sounding like a chick, anyway; I also found some really good jeans that didn’t squeeze me to all hell like the ones Sammy got me. Finally, after all of the clothing I tried, maybe a half an hour went by and I heard Stacey outside the door just as I slipped on the dress.

“Deena, I am back and girl did I find some sexy ass sets for you!! You are gonna thank me after you see Sam’s face! Hell, I’m straight and I was drooling just thinking of you in these. “

“Thanks, hey I just put on the dress,” I said with slight confidence.

“Then get out here girl!”

As soon as I walked out, her jaw dropped. She dragged me to the mirror and said, “LOOK AT YOU SEXY MAMA!! OWWW”

And to be honest, my draw dropped. The dress hugged my curves perfectly and just flattered me in a way I never knew was possible… Is this what it feels like to be beautiful?

“GIRL YOU ARE HOT!” Stacey screamed.

“I… for once I agree with that statement,” I said as I traced my own curves up and down.

“What do you mean?”

“I…. I never felt like I was good looking… People told me but I didn’t care, didn���t believe em’” I stated.

“Well, now you know… and now we have to get this dress and have a girls night!” She squealed as I chuckled and agreed.

After we bought everything, we went to Payless and got a whole bunch of boots, heels, and sneakers. As we were on our way to meet the guys… She sees a Sephora  and said, “We need to get you some makeup and perfume, it’s gonna tie everything together.”

After we got everything and she told me how to use it, I got a text from Sammy that he and Kyle were at the cafeteria.

As soon as we walked in Kyle grabbed Stacey and kissed her saying, “Hey ladies, wow, looks like you guys got some good stuff!”

“Yeah, Deena has an amazing new wardrobe, and we are taking a few pieces out for a test drive, tonight actually.”

“Girls night?” Asked Kyle.

“Yeah” smiled Stacey.

“That’s great because Sam and I were just going to ask you, ladies, if we could have a guys night. Sam hasn’t seen sports on the right TV. he only has a 32 inch. He has to see the game tonight on the 72-inch plasma at out place. Which works out, since you girls are gonna go out.” smiled Kyle.

I just thought to myself… Oh, this is gonna be good.

After we exchanged numbers, Stacey handed off some of the bags and we waved goodbye to each other. On our way to the car….

“Dean, what did you do?” Sammy asked me.

“Nothing... Just got some clothes… some makeup.”

“You…. got makeup?!” snickered Sam…

“You won’t be laughing soon…” I quipped.

“What?” Sam’s face scrunched up.  

“Nothing Sammy, listen I’m gonna be a chick for a few more days, I mine as well commit to the new role. You can’t tell me that me not wearing a bra or makeup is making me blend in.”

“Dean, as much as I hate to admit it, you look like a model. You don’t need that.”

“Aweee Sammy, keep on saying things like that and I’ll start to think you like me.”

Sam chuckled as we loaded Baby and headed home for our nights out.

WANT MORE? TELL ME SO!!!

TAG ARMY:

@mamaredd123 , @impala-dreamer , @impalaimagining , @jotink78 , @nichelle-my-belle , , @scorpiongirl1 , @ilostmyshoe-79 , @teamfreewillimagines , @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid , @chelsea072498 , @brickwall035 , @maui137 , @mogaruke , @jayankles , @butiaintgonnaloveem , @kawaiilivkitty , @naviwhite , @emoryhemsworth ,              

@cole-winchester , @nanie5 , @emoryhemsworth , @carribear31 , @death-unbecomes-you, @clarinette07, @curlyhairedblueeyedangel, @deansbabygirl01, @anathewierdo , @atc74 , @kickasscas67, @mannls, @adoptdontshoppets, @meganywinchester , @xalgaliareptx , @healojane, @wolfiebucky, @rayvenrider, @screechingartisancashbailiff , @goodgodimaweirdperson, @beltzboys2015-blog, @animegirlgeeky, @paintballkid711, @dolphincliffs

The Situation Taglist!: 

 @mirandaaustin93 , @dolphincliffs

Wanna join the tag army? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

[thelastpodcast]

Graduation Speech Transcript

[This was the working draft so there are some changes and additions I made on the fly.]

Let me start by saying what a total mindblowing honor it was to have been selected by my classmates to speak on their behalf. I already told them this once in private so they would know I really meant it and wasn’t just saying it to endear myself to the alumni, but it bears repeating. To endear myself to the alumni.

Class of 2019: It’s no exaggeration to say that I consider all of you to be superior human beings to me—you know, in terms of your career accomplishments, charitable activities… personalities. I was legitimately intimidated when I read your bios in our little binder. Especially since mine was just me drinking an iced latte and making jokes about my dog or whatever. You all lived up to the hype and the multi-hyphenates, that is for certain—and that’s why I felt so shocked, but also so validated and accepted, to be chosen.

And I don’t know if I even mentioned my dog once, this whole program, did I? Her name is Shoshanna and she’s uh, half puggle half demon, and the less said about her the better.

We’re not here to talk about my dog, luckily. We’re here to look back on our experience these past six months, and to look ahead to where we’re going now.

It all started at the Brown Center, for our opening retreat—and listen, folks. I thought I knew a thing or two about team training activities? I do a lot of that for work a little, you know, I’ve been around the block a bit, I’ve got some game.  Or, I thought I did. It turns out I have absolutely no game, because Bill from the Brown Center knocked me out with all of his Jedi Mind Tricks. Remember that activity where you had to keep a familiar person between yourself and someone who was unfamiliar? Alumni, did you do this one? If you’ve never done this, I want you to try it out the next time you are 5 hours into the process of slowly meeting 40 new people. Outside of Leadership Seacoast I’m not sure when else that might happen, maybe like a hostage situation at a grocery store? Something to keep in mind!

So, what you do is, you stand in a big circle and you look across and you find someone who is familiar and someone who is not.  You don’t say it out loud – nobody knows who picks who. Like all the best games, most of this one happens in your mind.

Fred was my familiar guy—we’d been on this Puzzle Team together so we were already bros for life. (Fred hand signal.) That’s me and Fred’s secret hand shake. And Bridget was, at the time, a person I was unfamiliar with. Luckily, Bridget, that would change! But anyway, once you’ve picked your two people across the way, you start moving out from the circle. And as each PERSON  tries to physically keep his or her familiar between their self and the unfamiliar, everybody scatters crazily around the room—it’s total chaos. Then Bill, this master of his craft, Bill! He flips the script. He says, you gotta keep the unfamiliar person between you and the familiar guy. So, guess what happens when you do that? All of the people who have scattered around the room suddenly clump together, like we were magnetized. As a physical exercise, it was stunning. As a metaphor, it’s even better. When we shield ourselves with familiar people and places, the community is disparate, chaotic, disorganized. When we reach out, to someone new, when we step out of our comfort zone, the community very quickly becomes more unified, close-knit—maybe a little too close for people who need their personal space, but undoubtedly stronger.

Feeling warmed and inspired by this, we met Peter Francese, who told us all about how we are going to die.

OK, ok, not how we are going to die—it wasn’t that bad. He just wanted to warn us about the state’s swiftly aging population, and how these trends would, you know, collapse the economy, annihilate property values and give rise to blood-harvesting robots…in the next five to ten years. So we’ve got that to look forward to!

Now, Demographic doomsaying aside– in his talk Peter highlighted something that turned out to be very important for virtually every session that followed – which is I guess what we can politely call the “structural shortcomings” of our dear granite state. I mean mostly that there’s no money, but also… you know how our stubborn independence creates an unwieldy number of local fiefdoms and gerontocracies instead of something more streamlined or cost effective or efficient or whatever? I Also mean that.

Live free or die! Maybe both.

Because from the opening retreat onward, at each program day, we were brought face to face with the open space between people in need and available services. Each time we saw problems over here with apparent solutions over there but no funding or obvious state mechanism to connect them.

Nowhere was that more clear than on Health and Human Services day. The scope and seriousness of the addiction epidemic in New Hampshire can’t be overstated. And we learned to call it an addiction epidemic and not an opioid epidemic. Because it is not new and it is far from over.

And yet, I found myself so inspired to meet the people working against it. Capable, confident, dedicated individuals from all walks of life. And importantly, there were so many of them—so many people, so many organizations, voluntarily filling in that gap between the problem and the solution.

Next up was Economic Development day, and almost every member of the class of 2019 that I’ve talked to about this day felt intimidated by the subject. Economic Development. Was there going to be math? I mean, everyone in this class is a right-brained, touchy-feely type. Even those of us who work at banks. Even Josh! Yes, even Josh is, deep down. You’re the man, Josh. You’re the football coach I wish I had.

Anyway, Economic Development. It wasn’t so bad, was it?

We all left that day excited about our community, very well caffeinated, and wondering which place we should move to: Somersworth, or into a Macy’s? Let me explain that: Eric Chinburg told us that big box stores are the mill buildings of the future. Since obviously malls are no longer a place people shop, we might as well put some apartments in there, right? That might sound crazy to you, but buy her a drink and Sarah Wrightsman will tell you why it’s not. I love the idea, if only for the rich joke potential. Did you hear about Kir’s new apartment, oh yeah, he finally left that dusty little studio and he’s upgraded to a beautiful spacious Anne Taylor Loft. Oh, the natural light!

Oh, and did you all hear about the developer who wanted to put 5 affordable units in his new building? Due to cost overruns, he’s down to just one Payless.

If you can think of a good one please let me know after the speech, I’m trying to write a standup set for the next Workforce Housing Coalition meeting.

So, I connect with science more than I thought I did – I learned that at Environment Day. I’ve never thought of myself as a science guy, nor did my chemistry teacher in high school, but I guess I am. I really connected with what people like Cameron Wake had to say. Which is why I no longer sleep at night!

And by the way, if you have to learn about catastrophic climate change, it’s best to be somewhere as beautiful as Odiorne. I mean, worst case scenario, everything looks like Odoirne, right? Sorry.

But anyway, being a person who connects with science now, and with a couple of program days behind me, I started to put the all these pieces together, and started to see better the gaps between the need and the resources, between the economic development and the education, between the government and the environment, I started to think of the state of New Hampshire itself as a kind of organism. I first thought of this metaphor at one of the Margaritas meetings, by the way, and I think it’s pretty solid. Shoutout to Margaritas, by the way, the unofficial program sponsor of Leadership Seacoast 2019.

The state of New Hampshire is like a plant that grows too close to the ground to get any sun. The sunlight, in this metaphor, is tax revenue. The stem of the plant is too weak to stand up on its own—it would have needed to add, you know, like an income tax or something in order to produce more chlorophyll. I swear to god this metaphor tracks, just bear with me here.

We’re a plant, and we grow too close to the ground. But instead of shriveling up and dying, over time, we have evolved this vast, far flung network of little leaves that push their way out into the sun and keep the plant alive despite its shortcomings.

Every person we met at every single program day, is one of those leaves. Out there, on their own, pushing toward the light, finding a gap and filling it.

I’m talking about the incredible and dedicated people we met from groups like Hope on Haven Hill and  Seacoast Family Promise

As well as people like Terry Robinson, who came to Portsmouth by way of Louisiana, on the strength of his fashion career, and is now working with the Portsmouth Black Heritage Trail and is still somehow only 19 years old? What? He identified a gap in the education of Seacoast kids of color, a gap that was invisible to most of us. He’s filling it now.

And what about Anna Brown and Jacquelyn Benson, the dynamic duo from Citizens Count. They are like a walking West Wing episode and I could listen them explain the nuances of the New Hampshire legislative system all day. It might take all day to understand it, but that’s why they’re working so hard.

Emmett Soldati talked to us about the need for gathering spaces in the community. In Somerworth, he saw a gap, and he filled it in himself by opening Teatotaller, which is a really special place Where once there was problem, now there’s Kirsten Gillibrand watching a Teen Drag Show. That’s pretty good. That’s a lot of light for one leaf.

That’s also how a lot of us felt about Justin Roy, the principal of Spaulding High School: a lot of light for one leaf. From where does he find the energy? Oliver, let’s talk to Revision about hooking that guy up to the grid. On Education Day, he very appropriately gave us a lot to think about. How we felt about the education we got, however long ago. How much the system might need to change going forward. How much it would take it change it, and whether or not we had the stomach for that. Education reform is a grand and consequential experiment, and the laboratory is right there in Rochester.

Speaking of experiments—Justice Day certainly was that.

Down at Strafford County Correctional, we’re very lucky to have an administration in place that recognizes addiction for what it is: a medical issue, and we heard from some people working very hard to turn their lives around. But they’re funding these programs with extra money they’re getting from ICE to house undocumented immigrants. The jail superintendent, Chris Brackett told us: he doesn’t know where these people came from, what they did, if anything, and where they’re going next. This is a tough thing to contemplate. But we can’t look the other way. So don’t.

The most remarkable part of justice day happened at the end, and it came from within the group itself. John and Kerry, and Christine and Tim and Josh, members of our own class who have come at criminal justice reform in their own ways, in their own fields, led a spirited but respectful discussion about everything we’d just seen. I learned too much that day to even try to relate here, but more than anything, I just felt grateful for your perspectives—for all of your perspectives, across every program day and every small group and every chance encounter in the wild, may there be many more.

And I’m grateful to Lori, for carving out a big block of time on justice day to let something like that unfold. Can we just get a round of applause for Lori Waltz Gagnon, people? She was incredible. I’ll be honest, We’re kind of an unwieldy group, a little rowdy. We get cranky when we don’t have snacks. And she managed us with aplomb and also with some little chimes that she would ring to get us to shut up. Speaking of which!

Some of us were thinking—the chimes are great and all, very final savasana, but maybe you’d like some variety for the class of 2020? So --- Jay Dennett made this bag by the way – check it out. Blue Dolphin, everybody.

What we’re going to do here, is I want you all to talk amongst yourselves for a second, and then I will try to bring you back to focus with an item from the bag, OK? I will give you a topic. How would YOU have changed the Game Of Thrones finale?

That was great! OK, let’s try again. More controversial topic this time: does a hot dog count as a sandwich? Go.

We’ve got some good ones. I really like the maracas—because it’s like, Ooooh, are we going to learn about PFOA contamination… or are we going to do some salsa dancing?! Speaking of Salsa Dancing, Erika Mantz, where are you? We took some lessons together after Arts & Culture Day. Erica stepped up and collected donations from the class of 2019 to fund a scholarship for someone next year.

What do we do now? My dog, we covered that. New Hampshire is a plant that grows too close to the ground. Covered that. Webster’s Dictionary Defines Leadership as… we don’t need that. Secret hand gesture for Fred, we did that. Webster’s Dictionary defines Seacoast as… we don’t need that. Ah, OK, here we are, What do we do now?

I think for a minute there, maybe about halfway through the program, this became the sort of overwhelming question on everybody’s minds. What do we do after all this? Everything we are learning, everything we are seeing, all the need, all of the problems. Climate Change! Local Government! Single-Use Plastics! Homelessness! Oh my god! Where do we start?

And then it became less of a worry, because we were already starting. Everywhere, across the group, it was happening.

Elaine Way went back to work after Health & Human Services Day in January and pretty much immediately directed a $2400 donation to Seacoast Family Promise. See, we both work for LTC Partners, and she had that money from our company’s annual holiday basket raffle—Elaine’s department always makes the best basket. They win every year! It’s a little annoying.

Karene immediately went out and signed up to be a cuddler at Hope on Haven Hill.

Fred went to one of Sarah’s workshops and learned all the cool affordable housing lingo, like NIMBY and CAVE and BANANA. (Explain Banana.)

Kelly’s starting a New Hampshire Volunteer Chapter for Wells Fargo--

Whitney joined the board for Marsha’s Hospice Help Foundation--

The list goes on.

And our class facebook paged has been lighting up on a daily basis with volunteer opportunities and events. What I’m saying is – I don’t need to tell you where to start. We’ve already started. It’s already happening.

But keep starting, please. Keep in touch, keep an eye on what others are doing, and keep an eye out for the kind of gaps you can fill, or that you think one of us might be able to fill instead. Think about the space that other people in the class are already occupying, have been occupying for years, and keep thinking about how you could help them.  And tell other people about what they’re doing, and what you’re doing! Don’t be shy about it.

I mentioned earlier the validation and acceptance I felt when you all picked me to be your speaker – acceptance in particular, acceptance by teams, is something I’ve had in short supply for most of my life. I was never a star athlete and I think I finished school RIGHT BEFORE phys ed teachers got the memo that having kids pick their own teams was cruel and unusual punishment. I’ve told plenty of you that at the opening retreat I really resisted getting involved in some of the activities because of their resemblance to … shudder… team sports.

Well, listen, class of 2019 – I am so happy to be on your team. I am so excited to see what we’re doing already, and what we’ll do next. And if you ever get stuck �� look to your left, look to your right. And the people on the ends, I guess like, look backward or forward? You get what I am saying. Look to each other. Keep helping each other help others. Grow the team. Fill in the gaps.

There will be no shortage of opportunities to help in a state like this, with an alumni network like this, with a team like this.

Thank you, Lori Waltz Gagnon, thank you all for listening – thank you to my wife and my mom and my boss for all coming—and most of all, thank you, class of 2019.

[pollypeaches]

Man ok so I bought some sneakers from Payless the other day because they were going out of business and my other sneakers are literally crumbling apart on the inside so fast forward today and as I’m walking downtown and back I realize these shoes aren’t very good. Which, duh I guess, it’s Payless and you’d think I’d have learned by now. anyways they’re not good shoes and at the same time i lowkey want a pair of creepers but are they comfortable to walk in? Because i also need shoes good for exercise and also i can’t really spend a lot of money. but now i’m kinda contemplating it.....but also do they come in my size i’m a size 5? and also money.

this is why i hate shoe shopping

[pillothestarplestian]

So, the new Steven Universe episode. Change Your Mind.

So, the new Steven Universe episode. Change Your Mind. I "liked" it, but I didn't like it. Let's get all the fan service out of the way first. OH GAD, STEVEN'S HAVING D.I.D. EPISODES AGAIN, AND THIS TIME HE'S SWITCHING BETWEEN HIS THREE DEMONS LIKE A SCHIZOPHRENIC! OH GAD, BLUE SHOT HIM and now she's crying. OH GAD, YELLOW SHOT BLUE and now she's crying too. THROUGH THE WALL, BY GAD. OH GAD, IT'S PERIDOT LAPIS LAZULI! IN NEW OUTFITS!!! Peridot's boots are disgusting and her hair isn't star shaped, but I totally called that Lapis would have sweat pants! OH GAD, AMETHYST! Those short shorts are terrible... OH GAD, PEARL! Those shoulder pads are also terrible... but I love the similarities to your outfit from last one out of beach city! OH GAD, DISCOUNT RAINBOW QUARTZ! SHE'S LIKE IF MARY POPPINS SHOPPED PAYLESS! Oh hey Garnet. OH GAD, THEY'RE DEAD! OH GAD, STEVEN AND GARNET FUSED AND IT LOOKS LIKE INCINEROAR MIXED WITH SOME 90'S CEREAL BOX ICON THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF RIGHT NOW! OH GAD, AND THEY'RE DOING A SUCTION CUP MAN! OH GAD, THEY'RE ALL FUSING NOW- ew... OH GAD, WHITE TURNED THEM INTO THE HEARTLESS FOM KINGDOM HEARTS... AND IT'S SUPER CREEPY! OH GAD, SHE STOLE STEVEN'S BELLY BUTTON PIERCING! OH GAD, REBECCA, STOP RIPPING OFF OTHER ANIMES! OH GAD, did you seriously call in studio Ghibli for this one scene? OH GAD, THEY'RE BLUSHING! (UWU INTENSIFIES) OH... Sadie's hair is green? When did that happen? OH GAD, THE DIAMONDS ARE ALL ON EARTH and no one seems to care... OH GAD OH GAD, LARS AND THE OFF COLORS! PADPARADSCHA, MY BEAUTIFUL BABY- OH GAD, THE CORRUPTED GEMS ARE GETTING HEALED! I never really cared about this plot point, I didn't think the writers did either, but HEY, CONFLICT RESOLVED! OH HEY, JASPER! Ok, bye Jasper. And... that's it. Okay, now for everything else. On one hand, it was kinda all over the place. This is par for the course for recent SU episodes, but this time you had a full hour to knit everything together comfortably. It's kinda like, first they're doing one thing, and then oh- now they're doing THIS thin, OH- now they're doing THAT thing. The segways between character interactions were lackluster, is what I'm saying.   The resolution at the end was a bit rushed. We had everything get resolved so fast that it was hard to feel a real sense of closure. I barely had time to register things like all the gems being healed, seeing Crazylace for the first time, and Jasper coming back, because of how quickly it was portrayed. Also, all things considered, it REALLY didn't take a lot to sway the diamonds. And it seemed to take even less to sway all the gems and beach city citizens that the diamonds were trustworthy. We're talking millennia of dictator biggotry changed in the span of like 3 days. One of the biggest problems with this show is that, because episodes are so few and far in between, it's hard to care. Anyway, just a few small things left. Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl don't show up in this episode, and literally everyone else does. This is baffling, especially considering the amazing character development Blue Pearl went through in the previous episode. Know how smash ultimate says "EVERYONE'S HERE!" even though Waluigi isn't in it? Yellow and Blue Pearl are the Waluigi of Steven Universe. Lapis doesn't speak. Not ONCE. I think she makes a grunting sound. Wait... (checks the episode) She does speak. She says "That felt great." ONE SENTENCE. AND A GRUNTING SOUND. RHONDITE got more lines than that, and she's been in like 3 or 4 other episodes. OOF. Speaking of Rhondite, Lars' crew... They kind of disappeared for a while with no updates. And now they're here. But HEY, MY BABE PADPARADSCHA IS BACK! So overall, the episode was about as good as most good Steven Universe episodes. The fan service makes it, and nothing else.

S P O I L E R S

[bedofthistles]

Ok, this is really bad.

I used to work at Amazon as a “picker”, which meant I was the one who went around collecting all the items before sending them off to be packed.

This is bad for the workers for two things

Number one: timing

At Amazon, you are timed. I had a friend who also worked there and got fired because he couldn’t met their time limit. And he’s not the only one.

It makes sense, you don’t meet the requirements you get cut. Except for the fact that not everything is easy to find.

Im going to talk about, first the shoes and then the jewelry.

Shoes. Were. The. Worst.

I’m not kidding.

Amazon was not an easy to find your shoe and size Payless. Those shoes were not in any order. In a single “bin” maybe about a yard by yard by yard box filled with possibly six boxes of shoes (except the top bin, the too bin has shoe boxes scraping the ceiling) there are not the same style of shoe, the same marker, the same size and in order to get the shoe you need you have to pull down every single shoe box. You think it’s going to be the first, easiest one to grab? Never. It takes a long time to get shoes. Especially when you have 15 different shoes to get.

Now, jewelry.

Your looking for a ring, size seven, you get to the bin that has all the rings inside of it - again, also never the same ring, or the one you need is going to be the only one that’s not the same brand - on your list, there’s a serial number that tells you what ring it is. Now you have to look at each individual little baggie and find the serial number in the back.

There’s literally hundreds of different rings, you have to search through and find in the correct amount of time.

There’s no system. There’s no easy or quick way to find anything.

Number two: I don’t have a number two. Other than people are going to lose their jobs.

If they bump it up to one day shipping, they’re going to be working people a lot harder.

And let me tell you, while a lot of employees were young fresh from high school assholes, a majority of employees were adults, and this was their career. They have bad backs, bad knees, they’re slower already.

People are going to lose their jobs, and why?

People can’t be bothered to wait two days for teva sandals.

Fuck Amazon

i learned that Amazon 2 day shipping will now be 1 day free shipping (x)

[anothergirlrecovering]

Lynn 32

I feel like this session absolutely sucked, which sucks considering how great the last one was. And I feel like a lot of it was my fault because I took a Benadryl before hand because of that stupid bug bite bothering me. I was halfway falling asleep in her waiting room and she called me and asked how was doing explained that I was tired because of the Benadryl. She asked me if I wanted coffee or tea or anything to help with being groggy or tired and I said I was fine and would consider for the way home, but I didn’t end up even asking for it.

I caught her up on my Week, explaining the situation that had happened with my coworker and with feeling like I had felt pretty sad about my husband losing his temper and feeling like I don’t know how to help. She asked to see my bug bite and I showed her, and she acted sympathetic and said how she had been stung by a hornet a few years ago and had a over reaction also and that it was awful. We talked briefly about allergies and I said that I am technically allergic to dairy and keep an EpiPen just in case. I explain the scenario with getting the hives and now they hadn’t figured it out. She told me about how her son has a lot of environmental allergies and that it affects the food she eats seasonally. I explained that what she was referencing was because of cross pollination and she said she was surprised by how much I knew about it. I told her that I love doctors offices and I ask 1 million questions. I told her specifically what happened with that coworker and I had told my boss, and I said speaking of self disclosure, because that Therapist had told her client about her own mental health issues, went to Lynn was like yeah that’s not an appropriate self disclosure by any means. I thanked her for having shared with me about her own struggles with PM DD and how it was really helpful because my parents are so crazy about medicine and I’ve always felt like being sick is my own fault. She said she has some clients where she can really tell and will just ask where they're at in their cycle because they will be so different from the week before. She explained that it something really biological and it’s not my fault. I told her about what my acupuncturist said about trying an herb. She said she thought that was a great idea and then if it doesn’t work out I could always try the prozac later on. She said that there were times when she would forget to take it, and it was still fine because it’s more or less almost like taking an Advil but for your moods. She said she feels like women kind of get the shaft want to comes to almonds because like for example with men, if they can’t get an erection, we were all over making sure that there was a pill to fix that. Women with PMS issues, something that has been around forever, we don’t have something ready to go to fix it or corrected and are in the early stages of treating it.

We kind of had this awkward place where neither of us was saying anything, and I told her that I didn’t really know where to begin with working today. She explained that was OK and opened up my folder and talked about figuring out if we need to go back to the original target or work on the spiritual issues that we had talked about last time. She asked if they are connected and I explained that I think they are two separate issues. We looked at my previous targets and she asked what about the last one still bothers me. I said it probably feels like a one or two and then I guess it was because I just couldn’t escape the car when my brother was throwing up. She acted confused and was saying that she’s just trying to figure out what our next steps are, and I apologized for being difficult.

She said let’s just go with that and see what comes up, so we begin EMDR and I said that I guess it just bothered me because I have been trapped in the car and that maybe I felt kind of angry towards my parents for not letting me out even though now I know that wasn’t a safe decision to get out of the car. I explained that maybe it wasn’t anger as much as it was a feeling of betrayal because they had a safety proof the doors and not told me. I explained that maybe I feel really helpless when I look back at that memory because even now as an adult and as a therapist I still don’t know how to help that little kid or my inner child because I still can’t even help myself as an adult. I explained that I wouldn’t really know how to help that kid if it was my kid either and that’s frustrating. I explained that maybe I need to except that maybe this is a chronic issue like diabetes type one and I need to just except that it was going to be there no matter what my parents did, kind of like how my little kid I’m working with now can have his mom hug him and hold him when he’s upset but he is still going to be anxious. Lynn told me that I have really high expectations and basically that she can’t really fix the fact that I was trapped and she can’t really make us that I don’t have to deal with, so maybe I need to lower my expectations. Then things got super shitty, she basically tried to offer simple solutions that I know will not work. I apologize for sounding defensive and argumentative, but that I really didn’t think that having a child would take away my phobia, and neither would becoming OK with myself with the phobia because it won’t take the power out of it. She asked if I could have some compassion for myself and I said for the little kid. She explained that you know with EMD ER, if you can get the compassion for the little kid then the generalizing affect can occur and it will transfer across ages. I explained that I have a hard time knowing how little kid and he would act if I had gotten a compassionate response because I can’t recall a time where I got that kind of a response. I told her about a kid in the cafeteria this morning he had told me a story about how he had choked once before and I validated how scary that was and his face lit up. I explained that it’s hard to imagine giving myself compassion when I don’t know how I would have acted even with it. I explained how my little six-year-old kid even with his intellectual disability is very aware of what’s going on and maybe myself as a little kid was more aware than I realize. I told her about how I stood in front of the Payless mirror when I was six and remembered just wishing that I could turn seven because I thought being six was the worst year of my life and I just wanted it to be over. She pointed out that that was very Ohio logic and reasoning for a little kid, and I explained that my little kids today is aware that his mom doesn’t spend time with him and he wishes he could have more of her attention but that she can’t because she has to watch his artistic sister. I pointed out that even though the and result was that neither of us had a parent to spend any time with them, and his case he knows it’s not because of him, whereas with me my mom didn’t have a reason to not play with me other than she just didn’t want to. I explained how I had been jealous of Michelle spending time with Linda singing Disney songs on their porch and how I'd been confused when she told me her mom wanted me for a kid.

We went back-and-forth talking about my expectations for getting better and I explained that I really just want to feel grossed out like a normal person when someone comments, rather than having a panic attack. I explained that it just feels really hopeless to consider the notion that I may never get over this phobia and would bring it on to my kids one day, and she made the comment about me getting back on the shame spiral train and that she can’t really do anything about that. I think she could tell that I was getting more and more upset and she said that basically she just wants me to cut myself some slack and I said I will try and she said that’s all that she’s asking. She pointed out that my phobia is a little better than it was, and that the memories have gotten down to one or two so there's some hope that it will keep getting better. She said that if I can’t let go of these negative believes, we can keep working to try to figure out the touchdown memory. She asked if I had to work the rest of the day and I said I did, and she said she was sorry and it seems like I really needed to go home and take a nap. Like OK, thanks Lynn. I get that I’m tired from that fucking Benadryl but it just felt like she was probably frustrated with me and that I was being difficult. We scheduled for next week, and I paid and left.

[lavieboheme930]

Beauty and the Beast

When was the last time someone called you late at night? it’s been awhile

What beverage do you drink most often? Coffee

Do you have a study hall at school? N/A

Do you have a house key? Yes.

Are you any good at art? Yes

What is the last book you bought? John Lennon’s books rom the 60′s.  Finally found them online

Can you describe the last glass that you drank from? Plastic Starbucks cup

Do you know where your siblings are? Only child

Do you ever just lay in bed at night to think? Yeah

When was the last time you chewed gum? It’s been awhile.

What is on your favorite t-shirt? I don’t wear t-shirts

What time was it when you last ate? like 4:30

Do you wish you had more money? Sometimes

Does your computer still have any of the stickers on it? One lol

Does your house have a fireplace? No

Do your grandparents live in a nice house? They’re all gone :(

Are there ever tornadoes where you live? No

What was the last thing to wear you out? Work

Do you talk to your best friends parents, or do you avoid them? Beki’s parents have known me since I was born so year

Has anyone ever assumed you were dating someone when you weren’t? Yes

Do you go to all of your school’s sporting events? N/A

Do you have a sketchbook? No.  But I need to get one

What classes are you required to take this year? N/A

How many years will you be in college? I’m done with it since 2005

Has anyone given you a gift this week? No

Is your mother a prude? No.

Are you stubborn? No

If you took a drug test right now, would you pass? Yes

Who was the last person to be on a bed with you? No one

Has anyone called you perfect before? I don’t think so

Where is the biggest scar on your body? forearm

Who was the last person to play with your hair? For some reason I want to say Con, but that was like 7 years ago LOL.  It may have been Joey since then.  Or Erik..or Matt...shit I don’t remember haha

Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes

Who was the last person you kissed on the cheek? umm...I think Ricky

Are your parents divorced? No.

Have you had sex today? No.

Would you ever live with any of your best friends? Totally

Are you photogenic? I don’t think so

Have you told anyone that you missed them lately? No.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Ain’t happening

Will this Friday be a good one? I’ll be working

Do you know anyone that smokes pot? Yes.

What is your relationship status? Single

You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on? Comedy classes

Where will you be in an hour? Still here in my bed.

Who do you hate? Oh some people lol

Is anything bothering you right now? Yes.

How is your mood? Alright

Where’s your phone? Next to me.

Why did you last cry? Shit going on in this country

What’s your middle name? Marie.

Is Arizona Green Tea amazing or what?! Not my favorite

Next movie you’ll watch? I don’t know.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom

Have you ever slammed the door when you were mad? Yes.

Do you like hanging out with a big group or a few friends? A few friends 

Have you ever had a screaming fight with someone close to you? Yeah

Do you ever feel suffocated? I guess.

Are your dreams crazy? Yes

Are you content with your life right now? Somewhat.

What did you do last Halloween? I dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera and watched the movie.  Also worked.  But Halloween is my favorite holiday

Have you ever driven illegally? no

What is the closest book to you? Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk -Kathleen Rooney 

Are you reading it or someone else? Yes

What is the 11th text on your phone? Sounds like you had fun

Who is it from? Marti

What is the most expensive thing you own that plays music? my phone

Do you have any siblings? If so, what are their names? Only child

Ever wear colored contacts? No

What color is your hair? Brown and blonde.  Gonna dye it red soon

What style of clothes do you normally wear? Dressy casual 

Milkshakes or Sundaes? Neither

What kind of shoes do you have on? Slippers

Do you have a doorbell? Yes.

How often do you sit around on your butt? Often on days I work

Current thing that is making you happy? Sal on TV

Do you like watermelons more or cherries? Watermelon.

Last time someone took a picture of you? At Tartan parade.  A photographer took a pic of me.  And another took a pic of my friend Jamie coming over to see me

Do you know anyone shorter than you? Not really

Would you adopt a child? Yeah

Do you like it when it rains? Hate it

What was the last thing you bought? Ticket to see Tom Green comedy show

Are you going to do another survey now? Most likely.

Closest living thing to you? My dog.

Anything planned for this Sunday? Yes, going to see my friend Jon perform.

Do you get cold easily? Yes.

Do you use a toaster or toaster oven? We have a toaster.

Do you have a job? Yes

Are you a big Zac Efron fan? You could say that

Would you rather drown or burn alive? I’d rather not drown or burn alive.

Ever had sex with more than 1 person in 1 day? No.

Do you own a dictionary? No

Do you like to mow the yard? No yard

Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed? Only been kissed on mouth and cheek.  So either

Were you happy when you woke up today? No

Who was the last person you ate with? dad

Did you drink any coffee today? Yes.

Who is the last person you got really pissed off with? No idea

If you’re in school, how is it going for you? N/A

Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? No one.

Have you ever thought about going to Culinary school? No.

What time do you have to be in work? I usually start at noon

What color is your father’s car? N/A

What type of sushi do you like to eat? Any

Where’s the last place you wore a hoodie to? No idea

Are your nails painted any special color? They’re not painted at all.

Give us your plans for the next three hours? Surveys, writing, sleep

Can you live a day without tv? Not if Jokers are on

How many pets do you have? 1

Who was the last person to hold your hand and when? Eric over a year ago

Do you like anyone right now? Yeah...I mean no regular crush right now so I’m gonna go with Sal.  Oh who am I kidding I’ll always have feelings for Con haha 

Do you think you are an argumentative person? No.

Has this weekend been good? It was ok 

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? I do now

Was yesterday better than today? A little

Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Both

What is the most romantic text in your inbox? None

Where do you buy most of your shoes? Payless

Ever drive all night to get to someone? Don’t drive

Do you have any complaints about your life? I guess

Where was the last place you stayed over? It’s been a long time

Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk? Soy

Would you rather be a priest or a drug dealer? A priest.

Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Yes.

Do you watch the news? No

Does anything on your body itch right now? Yes

Now what are you listening to? Woman by John Lennon.  Excuse me while I go cry now :(

Do you have any bug bites? No.

Can you listen to music and read at the same time? Yeah

Own a sundress? No.

Do you prefer to say ‘Haha” or “Lol?” Both

Do you have any flowers in your room? No.

Do you know anyone that owns horses? Nope.

How many stories does your house have? Basement apartment

[lavieboheme930]

Surveys of the day: #1

closest living thing to you? Nothing righ tnow.  My dog just went into the other room LOL

anything planned for this sunday? Nothing today.  I was sick :(

do you get cold easily? Yes.  And I hate the cold

do you use a toaster or toaster oven? A toaster.

do you have a job? Yes

are you a big zac efron fan? I’m a fan...not as big as I used to be, but I do love seeing him in movies LOL

would you rather drown or burn alive? How about...neither

do you own a dictionary? Nope

do you like to mow the yard? I don’t mow the yard.

were you happy when you woke up today? I was still feeling sick from last night

who was the last person you ate with? parents

did you drink any coffee today? Yes

who is the last person you got really pissed off with? No one

if you’re in school, how is it going for you? N/A

who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? No one

have you ever thought about going to culinary school? No.

what time do you have to be in work? I start my writing around noon or 1

what color is your father’s car? N/A

what type of sushi do you like to eat? Any really

where’s the last place you wore a hoodie to? Had to be to Starbucks the other day

are your nails painted any special color? Nope. They’re not painted at all.

give us your plans for the next three hours? Surveys, writing, and sleeping

can you live a day without tv? Not if Jokers are on LOL

how many pets do you have? 1 dog

has this weekend been good? It’s was ok.  Missing Sal since seeing him on Thursday so I’ve been all down.  Then I got sick yesterday

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? I do now

was yesterday better than today? They were both the same.

do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Both

where do you buy most of your shoes? Payless

ever drive all night to get to someone? I don’t drive and never did this before 

do you have any complaints about your life? I try not to

where was the last place you stayed over? A hotel.

skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk? neither.  Soy or Almond

would you rather be a priest or a drug dealer? priest

was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Yes.

do you watch the news? No

does anything on your body itch right now? No.

now what are you listening to? Something to Believe In -Poison

do you have any bug bites? Nope.

can you listen to music and read at the same time? Yes, but I rather not

doesn’t the thought of getting a cut on the back of your ankle make you sick? No

own a sundress? No.

do you prefer to say ‘haha” or “lol?” Both

do you have any flowers in your room? No.

do you know anyone that owns horses? No.

how many stories does your house have? Apartment....and I forgot now LOL