#polly ponders

[piggypolly]

Sometimes, I'll walk by my local gym and notice people running on the treadmills or using the ellipticals through the giant front windows.

I know they design it that way as a tactic to get people like myself to consider joining and "turn their life around." But they don't know how I've already turned my life around.

I used to be that toned gym bunny I find myself gazing at through the glass. I used to be svelte, fitting perfectly in my gym attire as I sweated and huffed through intense workouts.

Now the only thing I sweat and huff for is getting my fat, jiggly ass up the stairs.

I used to value my diet, carefully planning balanced meals and counting calories. Cheat days were a luxury.

Now every day is a cheat day, a luxury filled with me indulging any and all cravings that pass through my horny brain that day as I add more calories to growing frame.

I almost complete my walk-by, and I smirk. My hand drifts to my fat gut under my sweater and I bite my lip.

I've got my ideal body already, and it's only getting better.

[pollypeaches]

i mean, is josh groban ever not contained by some form of imprisonment, mechanical suit or otherwise, until he gets his heart broken and deep voicedly sing out his GrobAnguish™️ and inner torment to become a changed, better man? the mech suit costume just provides a window to the inner, tormented groban in love that resides within. you don’t need the suit to know that he’s josh groban. by default, you already know he’s got some character development to go through.

[just-a-gender-fluid-puddle]

I'm making playlists for my various favourite discworld characters, so if anyone has any songs they particularly associate with any discworld character please tell me

[winged-ghost-official]

Anyway not to beef but Penguin WHY DID YOU FLY A CONDOR IN? WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED ONE??

[look-at-the-soul]

Every little thing you do- Part 7

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series master list

A/N:Sorry for not posting this part earlier! I’ve been sick all week but I’m finally functioning like a human again 🤭 you’ll see some references to what really happened in season 3, I just adapted it to this story. Anyways hope you enjoy it! 🥰 let me know in the comments xx

Word count: 3,964

Tommy felt his anger raising, but he needed to calm down and think.

Think straight, have a clear mind.

Father Hughes was the most irritating person on earth. He didn’t want him to be involved in his charity project, that man was far from being someone respectable and he only make him waste his time. Deep down, Tommy knew he must have a dark past, something that he did wrong… he just needed to find what was his weakness.

It was still early, but still he needed a drink. Taking a glass and a decanter, he poured himself some.

“Thomas.” Polly called from the door.

“I need you to take care of everything today, gotta go.”

“Where?”

“I’ve a meeting, will probably be back later tonight.” He took a long swing of his drink. “Arranged a meeting with Vicente Changretta, Arthur and John will be there.”

They needed to fix the relationship with the Italians, after burning down the restaurant. He already had enough trouble in his hands.

“Fine.” She looked at him intensely. “You know… I was talking to Lizzie yesterday.”

Tommy hummed unbothered.

“Has Y/N told you if Lizzie keeps pissing her off?”

“No. Why?” He moved to his desk to take a few things.

Polly shuddered, perhaps she understood Lizzie wrong, she seemed to feel embarrassed and refused to say anything else to her.

“She’s jealous.” Polly ran her fingers through her hair. “She thought Y/N’s baby was yours.”

Tommy’s head snapped towards his aunt. His eyes had closed in disbelief. “What the fuck?”

“Look, I’m not judging her, and you shouldn’t either.” Polly gave him a knowing glance, se had talked to the secretary and she seemed to be having a change of heart.

“She told me she’s willing to do anything to get you to trust her once more.”

Pondering on Polly’s words, Tommy thought for a couple of seconds. “Anything eh? Alright… she’s going to help us clean the mess she made.”

He’d try to push Lizzie’s buttons just to make sure how far she could go. The sudden change could’ve a reason behind.

Now it was Polly’s turn to squint her eyes. “What are you thinking of?”

“She’s going to break up this absurd romance with Angel Changretta. Very peacefully.”

“Isn’t that too much to ask?” She asked cautiously.

“Explain to Lizzie how life works, no matter what Angel says, he’ll always remind her of her past. If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll always have her desk available here as a secretary, but if she keeps this going, I’m going to be her worst nightmare.” He warned right before storming out his office.

First he’d stop by to pay Ada a visit, then off to the meeting with the Russian royalty.

***

Y/N thanked the two men carrying the last piece of furniture into the office, they previously brought in the small desk and chairs, the bookshelf and a file cabinet.

In the corner of the room, she kept a box full of folders, sheets and other office supplies she would distribute among the classrooms. Most of her days have been busy organizing the storage and after a while it seemed to be presentable.

“Miss Y/N Y/LN?” The gardener called, getting her attention. “Your presence is required outside.”

“Oh! Sure.”

The Shelby Institute might open its doors any moment now, she thought as she strolled through the long hall, her shoes clacked against the floor, the daily walks around the institute made her keep in a good shape, because her belly was becoming more prominent day by day, of course she got out of breath anyways.

“We just need you to check if it’s the right color.” Paul asked pointing at the wall.

Tommy made sure to hire Small Heath people, purchasing all the material from local and small businesses, he felt this urge to help as much as possible because he couldn’t stop thinking given different circumstances, it would be him instead of them struggling with money, not having enough in their pockets to feed their family.

“This looks amazing, thank you for all the hard work you’re doing.” Y/N praised.

It wasn’t her place to supervise, but Tommy officially let her decide everything that was needed; from the color, decoration, even the personnel. He just kept signing cheques.

“Am I still on time to enroll my children? Could you ask Mr. Shelby, Miss Y/LN?”

“Yes of course you can! Bring me the papers tomorrow morning and the authorization.”

It was Tommy’s wish, to help as much people as possible.

The man gave her an embarrassed glance. “I don’t want them to be like me, I want them to have an education.” He added with melancholy.

“There’s nothing wrong to work in construction Billy,” Y/N encouraged. “But it’s admirable that you want them to be better.”

“That wouldn’t be possible without Mr. Shelby’s generosity.”

Y/N smiled at him but before she could step inside the building again, she noticed a car parking behind. Squinting her eyes because of the sun, she could barely tell who was that.

“Is this the Institution that runs that gang leader?” The man asked, judging by his attire he was a priest, but there was some off about him that said otherwise.

An uneasy feeling made Y/N take a step back, she covered her bump with the folders in her hands in a protective motion.

“Who’s asking?”

Tommy would be the last person on earth to have something to do with a priest.

The man looked her up and down, giving her a nasty and dirty stare.

“Tell him I’ll supervise this place, once it’s open.”

When he left, his vehicle made a cloud of dust. He didn’t ask politely, no, he pretended to be in charge of the charity.

Y/N walked inside the Institute again, making a mental note to add a room for the children to read, and they might need a fountain in the patio. She chuckled to herself, realizing she started to sound like Tommy.

No long after honking loudly, Tommy announced his presence, Y/N saw him behind the window as he was strolling towards her.

“Pick up your stuff, we’re going.” He announced.

“Where?”

“Somewhere, don’t ask.”

Y/N frowned. “I’ve to ask, it’s going to be midday, there’s things that need to be done.”

Tommy stepped into her office, looking for her coat and handbag.

“Yeah I pay you a ridiculous amount of money it’s about time you hire an assistant.” He said with a wink.

“An assistant of an assistant. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard.” She added, Tommy noticed she crossed her arms, not pleased by his interruption, she was always doing what she had to do and don’t you dare to move something from her things-to-do-list.

“It’s something good, trust me.”

“Can I ask where are we going?” Y/N asked enjoying the wind in her face.

“No.”

“What’s with all this secrecy?”

“If I tell you, you’re going to tell me no.”

“Well, you better include food because the baby is getting hungry.” Y/N smiled at her bump, while her hands caressed in a circle motion. Day by day she was getting fond of her baby.

“Oh I was counting you’d say that, lately you’re demanding more and more food.” He added in a light mood.

“Polly says I need to eat for two.” Y/N defended.

Tommy chuckled and in a blink, he was gone. He literally stormed into the library.

The little information she managed to get was that now she was reading out loud for Tommy a book about Russians that ran away from the revolution and opted to live exiled and from the Crown’s charity. Tommy assured her that way was practical.

Parking later after in front of a couple of shops, but she still knew so little about what was behind Tommy’s requests.

“I’ve a meeting around, it should be quick,” he explained helping Y/N out of the car, “but I thought it might be good if you start searching for some baby furniture, eh?”

“Tommy…” She covered her mouth with her hand.

“And don’t even start saying you don’t have money, I promised your grandma to look after the two of you, and that includes the things the baby will need.” Tommy used her shocked state to practically drag her inside the store, wining the argument way before it could start. “Hello, we would like to check out a moses, a rocking chair, a drawer…”

Y/N stared at him silently, Tommy thought of everything and even though his generosity wasn’t a surprise, it still came out of the blue, catching her off guard.

“Would you like us to open an account?” Asked the perplexed sales woman.

“Yes,” Tommy answered eyeing a catalog. “Everything she wants, a lamp, the carpet, the sheets… just put it into my account.” He handled a card with his company name and address. “Pick you up in about an hour?”

Y/N nodded, still trying to process everything.

“Leave something for the rest of the costumers ey!” Tommy shouted from the door before disappearing.

The woman started swooning immediately. “I hope the baby will get his eyes.” The woman admitted with a blush.

Y/N opened her mouth to correct her and tell her that Tommy wasn’t the father, but she closed it instead, remembering the advise her grandmother shared with her; don’t explain your situation to people you don’t know, let them believe their assumptions even if it’s incorrect. It will save you of uncomfortable explanations.

So Y/N gave the sales woman an awkward smile and followed her to the back of the store, this moment would arrive sooner or later and she was already here.

“We can make any piece you want in a variety of colors, there’s a trunk in the corner that goes well with this dresser…”

“Let me bring the fabric catalog for the carpets.” Added another woman, they obviously wanted to make a juicy sale.

Y/N felt like she was walking on a cloud, the smile on her face couldn’t get bigger. And now, she was the one swooning over the furniture, her imagination taking her to unknown places with images of her rocking her baby to sleep, or taking a look through the canopy at a small bundle of joy.

An excited gasp escaped her lips when she landed her eyes on a crib mobile. Her heart did this flip inside her chest and she could hardly hide her emotions.

“Should we add it?” The expert eye of the sales woman noticed her excitement. “Your baby will be fascinated and spend hours staring at it.”

The mobile had a handmade star and a sheep, a fluffy cloud and a small sun. It was adorable, she couldn’t wait for her baby to be born to use everything.

Y/N was allowed to sit on the rocking chairs to see which one felt more comfortable and the women showed her a few combinations to create a whole set of dresser, a small wardrobe, a bedside table and also the different colors they had to offer. The more she looked, the more confused she felt because everything was beautiful! She had never had the chance to purchase furniture, since her house was filled with her grandma’s possessions.

A fond memory of her grandmother knitting a blanket for one of her sisters filled her mind, her parents didn’t have enough money to buy fancy furniture, so they used a basket as a crib, she was just a girl but she remembered it clearly.

Both women shared endless recommendations for her baby arrival, and Y/N felt extremely grateful and was willing to take every little thing that could be helpful.

As she flicked another page of the catalog, she wondered how long would it take Tommy to pick her up, then her thoughts wandered towards her sister Lee-Anne, the last time she saw her, it was the day her father hit her. They couldn’t meet because their parents where so strict now, after what happened, they were trying to move under the radar according to her grandmother. There were so many things she wanted to tell Lee-Anne, firstly assure her that she was alright, she didn’t need to worry, then when the time is right, she would explain everything to her, so the younger girl wouldn’t make the same mistake as her.

Not that she thought her baby was a mistake, no. Those are two separate things. But the circumstances it’s what was wrong, she was aware that not all women had a Tommy Shelby around the corner to selflessly take care of everything.

If only she knew then, she’d do it differently.

“Y/N?” A gentle voice called for her, something squeezed her arm slightly.

Her eyes fluttered open and Y/N looked around confused.

“You fell asleep.” Tommy pointed out.

“It happens all the time.” The sales woman gave her a small glance. “We didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Goodness.” Y/N felt embarrassed and mortified, she felt tired.

“So, I think you found the perfect rocking chair then.” Tommy raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“We’ll have everything delivered in a couple of weeks.” Her smile couldn’t get bigger.

Thanking them, Tommy and Y/N stepped outside the boutique, she wanted to stretch her legs so bad.

“How did your meeting go?”

“Boring.”

He always had just a few words to say. But his eyes, said everything that was crossing his mind.

“Did you get to drink vodka and do the Russian dance?” Y/N teased.

Tommy scoffed at her sense of humor.

“He’s a liar, a buffer. He’s just a filthy lucky bastard with the right connections.”

He sighed loudly, but at least Tommy was sharing something with her. In that case it would be so easy for him to make that man show his true colors.

As he started the engine, Y/N started telling him of all the adorable things they showed her at the store, noticing the way her eyes were glowing. And he obviously preferred that kind of news instead of the one Polly was about to share.

“I’ll wait here by the fireplace.” Y/N announced, not wanting to get in the middle of the argument.

Sitting in one of the couches, she leaned her head back, rolling her feet meanwhile a few steps away, the Shelby family were discussing over whatever John had made.

“If you apologize once, you do it again and again…” Y/N heard Tommy say as she was drifting away to sleep. But she was far too gone and tired.

Feeling drained after all the things he got busy with, Tommy couldn’t wait to be home.

“You can stay over so you don’t have to drive back.” He proposed to his brother Finn, who would be driving.

But as Tommy stepped into the entry, he stopped abruptly when his eyes landed on Y/N. She was peacefully sleeping on the couch, the flames of the fireplace casting shadows over her features while one of her hands rested under her belly.

He didn’t have the heart to wake her up.

“Bring the car around.” He whispered Finn, trying to concede Y/N a few more minutes before starting the road back home.

Taking off his coat, he slid it over her frame to cover her from the cold. Tommy tried to call her in a low voice, but she only adjusted her shoulder as answer. Y/N should probably take things easier, but she was adamant to finish the charity project, she was pouring every fiber of her soul into it and wanted to make sure every single detail was perfect.

“Y/N… let’s go.” Tommy tried again softly.

Fluttering her eyes, she slowly opened them squinting in confusion by feeling Tommy touching her shoulder.

“C’mon let me help you.”

“Hmm.” She hummed barely cooperating.

She was beyond sleepy by the time they reached the car, settled taking the back seat by herself, she heard the Shelby brothers talking something about an Italian pub and a fight that would eventually happen. Tommy mentioned something about their fragile ego and sending flowers to a hospital, but Y/N couldn’t be sure because maybe it was part of her dream.

She moved across the room, smashing the fresh berries for the pie she was baking, the lovely smell feeling the small kitchen, it was a sunny day and she could hear the birds chirping, when suddenly a baby cry came to her attention. Y/N rushed then to get pick up her baby who was demanding her presence.

“It’s just fine, are you hungry?” She cooed to settle the lovely bundle wrapped in a blanket.

“How’s my ray of sunshine?” Asked her grandmother from behind, reaching over to caress the baby’s face.

“Woke up hungry.”

“You feed the baby while I finish the pie.”

When the car took a turn Y/N’s bumped something, she woke up disoriented.

“Finally I was tired of you snoring.” Tommy teased taking at look over his shoulder.

“Oh my God I don’t snore!”

“Loud and clear.” Tommy assured her. “Like a truck driver.”

Y/N gave Tommy a surprised and embarrassed look, awkwardly she tried to fix her hair since it was out of place.

Finn rushed upstairs while Mary greeted them by the door.

“Something important came up?” Tommy asked the maid.

“Just a few letters.” She gave him a nod.

“Oh, and maybe a couple of responses to the charity invitation.” Y/N wondered out loud.

“All correspondence arrived under Mr. Shelby’s name.” The maid explained, making a bit obvious that she wasn’t very fond of Y/N.

Y/N looked between Tommy and Mary, waiting.

“Go on, go check the mail.” He told her softly.

“Mr. Shelby.” Mary tried to get his attention. “The mailman thinks Miss Y/LN is Mrs. Shelby, he asked me if Mrs. Shelby had anymore invites to send off.” The maid voiced with concern.

Tommy noticed the offended tone in her voice.

“Let him think whatever he wants, Mary.” Tommy shuddered, not thinking it was important. “As long as he takes the mail.”

“But…” she tried again, then closed her mouth when Tommy gave her the look.

“That’s all, thank you Mary.” Tommy dismissed her just as Y/N entered the reading room skipping happily.

“Guess!”

Sitting, Tommy groaned. “Guess what?”

“He said yes!” Y/N explained excitedly.

“Who?” He chuckled at her happiness.

“He leader of the Birmingham City Council is going to attend the dinner.” Y/N showed him the letter back. “Everyone has said yes.”

Tommy dragged his eyes from the piece of paper, towards Y/N.

“Ah.” Suddenly she got the energy of a kid, it was the nap during the car ride did wonders to her.

“I keep changing the menu, do you think we should offer something else?” Y/N kept explaining how she needed to send a Thank you note back to the people who had confirmed their attendance.

The charity was clearly an excellent job for her. Keeping her busy with something good whilst helping people in need and he was glad to have someone he could trust to take care of that.

“You need to remember to take this slowly, write off those notes tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.” He suggested.

“But Tommy, these things can’t wait, it takes days for the letters to be delivered and-”

“Very well then, why don’t you use the typewriter I gave you.” He cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink.

“Tom!” She chuckled. “You don’t write letters of a social occasion on a typewriter.” Y/N explained him with a smile.

“Oh, forgive me.” He raised his eyebrows.

She then went on to show him another paper. “I’ve the drawings of what they plan to do with the grounds of the institute. There’ll be an area for the children to play. Look.” He hummed in response. “And the Birmingham Charity Commission have agreed to set aside their three rotten floorboards upstairs and grant us the license within a month.”

She finally took a deep breath after managing to explain him all in record time. There was a soft smile playing on his lips and she found tenderness in his eyes.

“You’re not listening to me.” Y/N sentenced.

Tommy leaned forwards. “Yes I am. I am.”

“You think I’m becoming obsessed?” Y/N stopped abruptly.

A chuckle escaped Tommy’s lips. “No, as a matter of fact, I love the passion you’ve put into this project.”

“This wouldn’t be possible without you.” Y/N expressed honestly.

Tommy gave Y/N a long look, studying her features, until he finally spoke.

“I’ve something for you.” Y/N frowned confused. “I know you’ll say it’s a bit too much, but still.”

“What did you get?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Close your eyes.” Tommy encouraged.

“Tom.”

He fixed his eyes on her, not taking a no for as answer. So she gave in, turned around and closed her eyes.

Leaning back, Tommy got something out of his pocket, holding the chain between both hands, he presented Y/N the present.

Y/N felt lost for words when she saw the necklace. “What’s this?”

“A sapphire.” He explained calmly.

The cold stone sent a shiver down her spine when it made contact with her skin. It felt heavy and strange to have a stone that bug hanging from her neck.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“A simple thank you could work.” He winked. “And before you even start, you can either wear it or keep it in the box it’s your choice.”

Y/N was still trying to process the overpriced present, never in a million years she imagined to own something like that piece of expensive jewelry.

“This is insane, but thank you.” She chuckled nervously. “Where am I even supposed to wear something like this? The charity event?”

“You can wear it to church if you want, it’s yours Y/N.”

“Goodness.” She looked down at her chest and touched the cold gemstone. “You really look for any excuse to show off your wealth, damned bastard.”

Tommy laughed loudly. “You got me.”

“I wanted to ask you to be my baby’s godfather… but you’re going to spoil the poor child.”

“Oh I think I earned that right, so you better keep considering me.”

She slapped his arm playfully, earning another laugh from him. Tommy pulled her by the arm but the sharp move caught her off guard and made her loose her balance, landing on his chest. His arms came around her waist instantly in a protective motion, and their laughs subsided as soon as they realized how close they were to each other’s faces.

Something they both didn’t know how to name ignited in that moment, suddenly her warm hands felt like burning through the layers of his clothes, his deep blue sparkled in a way she had never seen before.

Struggling to form a coherent thought, Y/N used his chest to support her arms and move back. Tommy cleared his throat just as he was trying to clear his mind.

“Sorry… I stumbled.” She tried to smooth her clothes.

“Yeah.” He noticed the blush on her cheeks.

“Better go to get s-some rest.” The words rushed out of her lips. “Have a good night.”

“Good night, Y/N.” He replied more to himself, watching her leave the room.

Taking the remains of his drink in a swing, Tommy thought how close they were of crossing a line that would change everything.

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[novashelby]

Daddy, Don't Preach~Tommy X Daughter!Reader

Pairing: No romantic pairing-TommyxAdopted!Daughter!Reader

Warnings: mentions of sex, abortion, some angst, language

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Tommy's daughter has to confess that she's been hiding a secret.

A/N: It was a request. I am not 100% thrilled with how it came out, so I may write a different version soon. :) But I still wanted to post it.

Please comment and reblog!

Aunt Polly was the first one to notice. The young girl had become increasingly fatigued and nauseated. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together considering she’d been setting a boy from St. Michael’s just across the way. He was a nice boy, but Aunt Polly could read people well enough to know it was nothing ending with a ring. Puppy love they call it, but unfortunately for her niece, it wouldn’t end as easy. She watched the young girl yawn over breakfast and rub her temples. Simple, but something she loved was eggs. But when Aunty Polly pushed the plate over to the girl, there was a hesitation. 

Pursing her lips, she asked, “not hungry?” The young girl could hardly answer, balled fist pressed against her mouth trying to keep down whatever was begging to come up. Shaking her head, she slid from the table and rushed for the sink. Aunt Polly gave a knowing grin as she sipped her tea, listening to dry heaving. “You’ve been getting sick a lot,” she commented from the table. Her niece walked out, dabbing the corner of her lips. 

“Just a bug,” the young girl replied, taking her seat again and pushing away the eggs, opting to only eat the toast. 

There was a moment of silence before Polly asked, “when did you and that boy have sex?”

She was about to take a bite of toast when Aunt Polly dropped the questions. Slowly, she looked over. “I’m sorry?” Aunty Polly arched her brows, knowingly. Was it that noticeable? She wiped her mouth with the back of wrist and took a drink of milk. “Peter and I don’t have sex-”

“No?”

“No.” She confirmed. “Besides, Peter has moved to Cambridge. Last week, in fact.” She stood from the table and gathered her coat from the brass hanger at the door. “I should run an errand. Daddy’s asked me to drop some things off at the post, I need to pick up a few things at the store, and Aunty Esme has asked me to watch the children while she goes to the clinic.” 

As she was swinging her coat over her shoulder, Aunty Polly commented, “you’ve haven’t gotten your monthly bleed in nearly three months.” 

Sighing, she responded, “and how do you know that?” 

They connected glances for a second before Aunt Polly looked at her tea. “I wash your linens.” 

“I’ve been more careful-”

“You no longer wear your button blouse.”

“I stained it the other day-”

“For fucks sake, dear,” Aunty Polly sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’ve had two children. I know when a woman is pregnant. Well, in your case, a girl.” Defeated, she pressed her coat neatly over the nearest piece of furniture. The color drained from her face, and she could no longer look at her aunt. It was true. She and her best friend went to the clinic three weeks prior. Without a rabbit test, he couldn’t say for sure. However, her symptoms were unmistakable. “Does he know?” Aunty Polly asked. “The boy, I mean. Is he aware that you are pregnant-”

“He wants nothing to do with it,” she interrupted, finding herself falling into the sofa. “Why do you think he’s sent himself to Cambridge?” 

“When do you plan on telling your father?”

She hadn’t thought about that. Well, she had, but only briefly just before pushing it to the back of her head never to ponder again. “I’m hoping it kinda just…goes away.”

“It will,” Aunty Polly said, getting up and joining her side on the sofa. “In six months time, it will go away. Instead of being in your stomach, it will magically appear out and poof! Into a crying, screaming, shitting human being.” She grabbed the girl’s chin lightly, eyes narrowing. “I won’t tell him, but you best tell him sooner versus later because you know what Tommy hates more than a pregnant daughter? A lying pregnant daughter…” 

The girl shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, turning averting her direction. “ I’ll tell him soon, I promise.” 

“Good,” she said, standing. “He won’t kill you, but be prepared for some yelling…maybe some throwing. That’s the best case scenario, anyway.”

“Worst case?” the girl winced.

“Well,” she started, thinking for a moment. “Well, Peter won’t be staying in Cambridge, that’s for sure.” 

Time went on, and each day she wanted to tell him. She went to bed every night feeling ready. However, when the morning came, she backtracked. Aunty Polly would give her these patronizing side glances. Almost as if she was threatening to spill the news herself. It was finally when the young girl walked into his work office, interrupting a meeting. He was mid-conversation when he looked up and said, “darling, I’m busy. Do you mind giving me a few moments?” It was now or never. If she walked out those double doors, she wouldn’t walk back in. She’d run, she was sure of it. 

Taking a deep breath, she let out, “no. I need you…I need m-my daddy….” Her words came out as a long scratchy stutter. Tommy paused, studying the girl’s quivering bottom lip. “Daddy, I need you…I need to talk to you.” 

Tommy sighed and nodded, looking at the two gentlemen across from him. “Alright, just give me a moment and I will be with you.” He walked over to the door and looked down at her quietly, motioning for her to go outside. “What happened?” 

“Daddy,” she trembled. “You should sit down on the couch-”

“Love,” he stressed, rubbing at his temple. “Just fucking tell me…I don’t need the run around.” 

She couldn’t look at him. The way he was staring down at her. Since the moment he adopted her, she was placed on a pedestal. The daughter who could do no wrong. She was his perfect girl. He’d say it all the time. Look at my perfect girl. “I’m pregnant,” she said in a very low whisper.

Tommy had to have misheard it. “I’m sorry?” he asked, brow arched. “Love, I’m getting old here. I can’t hear you-”

“Daddy! I’m pregnant!” she yelled that time, enough for a few floaters in the background to hear. The workers stopped. In fact, the whole world froze. She slowly looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. He had no expression, no reaction for the first few seconds before he slid to the couch. There were no words to describe the ache he just felt. It was as if someone took a club and beat his chest with it. The last thing Tommy wanted was to yell at her. If there was anything in the world that he could describe as porcelain, it’d be his baby. Porcelain; something delicate and precious. While most fathers pictured their daughters meeting a good man and getting married, giving them beautiful grandchildren, Thomas was the opposite. To him, she was always going to live with him because no man on the earth was good enough. “Daddy, please say something. Anything.”

He slowly drifted his attention from the blank wall to her face. “Tommy, I got the paperwork from the ba-what’s wrong?” John walked in, file tucked under his arm. Tommy looked over at him and got up, grabbing the file, nodding.

“Take her home,” he said, in a monotone voice. 

“Daddy!” she cried as she watched him walk past her and go through the two double doors. Her heart shattered like glass. She felt as though her body was going numb as she slowly slid to the ground, silently sobbing. John kneeled at her side about to say something when the door burst open.

Tommy paused, playing with the barrel of his gun. “I’m gonna fookin’ kill him. I’m going to fookin’ shoot that mother fucker in the nutsacks! Then after that, I’m going to shoot his fucking arsehole off his fooking body.” Tommy had never felt rage as such. Angrily, he kicked the leg of the sofa then knocked a picture off the wall, words grumbling under his breath. It hit John and he slowly looked at the girl, swallowing. 

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, and when she nodded, he shook his head. “You’re bloody fuckin’ sixteen, eh? Where’s Peter?” 

Tommy stopped pacing, staring at her. “Pregnant? Like actually fuckin’ pregnant?! Sixteen, fuckin’ pregnant, I’m…how!?”

“I think she had sex, Tommy,” John said, which was not received well. 

“You fuckin’ had sex!?” he yelled, turning and rubbing the back of his neck, running his hands through his hair before punching at the door frame. “You had sex! Why did you do that!? You were never, ever suppose to fuckin’ do that….I’m going to shoot the fucking bastard, John…I’m gonna fuckin’ shoot him-”

“I know, Tommy,” John agreed, trying to calm his brother down. “I know.”

“Right in his fuckin cock!”

“Right in his cock,” John continued. 

“His cock…they had sex,” he said, trying to catch his breath, leaning on the door frame. “My little fuckin’ girl. He put his cock into my- no, no, no. She’s not pregnant. Absolutely fuckin’ not. It’s not possible! Where would they have been able to do that?!” She watched her father go through several degrees of grief, nervous playing with her skirt hem. He turned to her. “You’re playing a fucking joke on me…not funny! You’re a virgin because you have to be a virgin.” 

“Tommy, I think you’re deflecting now,” John said. “How about you and I, we take a ride and talk through it, eh? Get a drink?” He shook his head and reminded John to take her home. “Alright. I’ll come back-”

“Take her home and we’ll talk about it when we get home,” he said, slowly looking at her. “It’ll be okay. We’ll talk about it when I get home. Stop your crying, eh?” Tommy reached over and patted her on the cheek before walking back into his office.  

Later that night, she was laying in bed, rubbing her tummy and staring at the ceiling when he came in…no knocking. She turned to look at him, blotchy red face. Pointing at her as he did, he asked, “what are you doing?” 

She sat up, resting over her elbows. “Bed?”

“No,” he said, pulling up the vanity chair. “Love, what are you doing about the baby?” She hadn’t thought about it. Sighing, he raised three fingers. “You have three options, love. One, you and I tomorrow morning take a trip to Liverpool-”

“Women die from that, Daddy,” she said. “I’m not getting an abortion.

“Alright, but that means you’re going to have this baby. You’re going to start showing and other people are going to notice. People who were once your friends, may not be friends with you anymore. School may kick you out and I wouldn’t be surprised if the church no longer wants you there. Understand the consequences. You’re an unmarried girl. Number two, you have the baby and we send it off to the orphanage. It’ll find a new home and you’ll be able to resume your normal life. Three, you have this child-”

“I’m having my baby,” she said. “Daddy, I couldn’t-”

“Fine.” He wasn’t happy at first with her decision, having to leave the room for a moment before coming back in. “Let me tell you something, I’m not fucking happy! But, this is the situation and there is nothing we can do about it. But let me fucking say a few things. That piece of shit,” he paused, pointing at the door. “Peter better stay the fuck off. Understand me? As far as I’m concerned, he’s lost that privilege. That child is a Shelby and it’ll be named a Shelby.”

She slowly started to smile. “So, you aren’t going to kick me out?”

He softened a bit and joined her on the bed. “No, I’m not kicking you out. But another thing…I’m not grandpa. Understand me? That child is not calling me grandpa. I don’t have enough fuckin’ greys to be called that.”

“Then what would you like to be called?” she asked, grinning. “Papa?”

Tommy gave her a look. “Fuckin’ ‘ell! Papa?! No. They’ll call me Mr. Shelby until we’re on speaking basis. We’ll move up to Tommy then go from there.” 

Ten Months Later

“Come see pap-pap,” Tommy cooed in a light hearted tune, bypassing his daughter who rolled her eyes. He looked down in the crib, making kissy faces. “Ahh, look at my little poopah,” he said, picking up the four month old and cradling her in his arms. He’d just come home from a business meeting. 

“Daddy,” his daughter whined. “I just put her down for a nap-”

“What!? Ah, please, she’s fine,” he said, waving his hand. He played with her bottom lip making mock baby noises. The little one whined, little hands grabbing for nothing. “Aww, you want pap-pap’s hat? Don’t you? Yes you do. Pap Pap is going to get you your own little hat! We’ll be twins!” He smiled wide, looking at his daughter, who was unamused.  

She sighed, crawling under the sheet. “Well, you go play twins and I’m going to take a nap.”  

He hardly said ‘goodbye’, happily tugging the baby out the door with him. From the bed, all she heard was, “Pap Pap loves his little poopah. You so pretty, you so chunky, you so…you so…smelly! Uh Oh! Poopah went poopy. It’s okay, we were visiting Aunty Polly anyways. She’ll clean you right up, eh? We’ll just say you pooped in the car on the way, okay? C’mon. Put that hat on again….”

[jotabug]

Oh! I think I know what it wants, not a good idea to give it though.

So okay, good news and bad news! Good News: Polly and the Panchams are getting together alarmingly well, in fact, it seems they knew each other beforehand. Bad News: Polly wont leave me alone and seems irritated at me for, something idk man.

[brummiereader]

PREVIOUS PART

Killing Me Softly (PART THREE/ DARK!TOMMY)

Summary: You and Tommy have barely said a word to eachother since your wedding night, the tension building, Tommy's facade finally drops.

Warnings: Language, angst, psychological mind games, manipulative behaviour, controlling behaviour, Dark!Tommy (this is a dark fic, please read the warnings before continuing)

"Where's my wife?" Tommy asked looking up from his newspaper as he sat at the end of the large dining table, a cigarette in his mouth.

"She's still in bed Sir, she said she's not hungry" Frances answered nervously clutching onto her apron. It had been almost two weeks since your wedding day and the tension was palpable. You and Tommy had barely said another word to eachother since your wedding night, sleeping in separate rooms you had been avoiding him at all costs. You hadn't left the house in five days, and even when you did it was only to venture out onto the grounds of the property, one of Tommy's henchmen always a few feet behind you. You had neither seen nor heard from your mother, friends or Tommy's family since your arrival at Arrow House, everyone giving the happy newlyweds space, that's what he said. The truth was, Tommy was keeping them from you, keeping you from telling them how miserable you truly felt. Folding the newspaper in half Tommy threw it onto the table In front of him, his chair scrapping across the wooden floors beneath him as he stood up.

" Tell her I expect to see her sitting there at that table, at noon, for when I come back" he said sternly as he walked towards the entrance.

" Yes Sir" Frances nodded as she closed the dinning room door.

"Oh and Frances" he stopped as he got to the door. "Tell the chef to make lamb" He smirked as he looked up at the large wooden stairs in the foyer.

" Yes Mr Shelby" she dutifully answered as she watched Tommy walk out the front door.

Laying in bed you flinched as you heard the door of his car slam shut. He was gone, breathing a sigh of relief you sat up looking over to his side of the bed, this was not how you thought your first two weeks of being a married woman would be, even for an arranged marriage.

Deciding not to lay in bed all day and worry about your already fragile marriage, you got up putting your light pink silk dressing gown on, one you could only imagine Tommy had picked out for you, like everything else he had chosen on your behalf. Walking down the large wooden staircase you was met with Frances waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs.

" He's gone then?"

" Yes Mam" she answered with concerned eyes.

" Did he say anything?" you questioned as your fingers picked at the wooden banister.

" He said he would like to see you at lunch Mam"

"I doubt he said it as nice as you" you smiled as you placed a hand on her arm." Thank you, Frances" you added as you walked off into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

"Mrs Shelby please, let me get you something" she called out.

" It's ok Frances I don't mind " you replied, still not used to being waited on.

Sitting by the window in the study, a book on your lap, you looked out at the gardens In front of you, Tommy's horses galloping in the fields behind them. How had things gotten so bad so quickly? You pondered as you spun your wedding ring around your finger over and over again. Tommy was a man who always got what he wanted, never to be talked back to, never to be refused, and when you did just that on your wedding night he had clearly not taken it very well. Was it all your fault though? You questioned yourself, doubting every conversation and action you had done and had over the past two weeks. You just wanted to get to know him again, did he not want that too?

"Mam, it's Miss Polly Gray on the phone, should I tell her to call you back another time?" Frances asked as she opened the door to the study.

" No no, it's fine, I'll take it, thank you Frances" you said getting up, placing the book down on the chair you was sitting on. Hurrying to the phone you quickly picked up the receiver placing it to your ear.

" Polly?"

" Y/N, how are you love? We haven't seen you in a while"

" I'm so happy to hear your voice Polly" you replied, your emotions threatening to be made known at any moment.

" Enjoying newlywed bliss?" she chuckled over the phone, completely unaware of the current state of things.

" Something like that" you sighed with a small laugh as you played with the cord of the phone.

" What's wrong Y/N ?" nothing could get past Polly, she always knew.

" Me and Tommy, well ...things have not been going that great" you replied in a shaky voice, your eyes starting to fill with tears.

" Oh love... right I'm coming over, this afternoon at four, I will have my driver bring me" Polly replied, concern In her voice, knowing too well how Tommy could get.

" Ok" you said as you sniffed back your tears.

" I'll see you in a few hours, don't worry we'll sort it all out.

" Ok, bye Polly" you said as you put the phone down. Was this a good idea? What would Tommy think of you talking about your marriage to someone else. But Polly could help, she was his Aunt after all, family, someone Tommy knew.

Looking up at the large clock in the foyer you noticed it was nearly noon, Tommy would be back any minute. Hurrying back upstairs you quickly shut the bedroom door, hoping to avoid him once again.

" Mr Shelby" Frances greeted Tommy at the door.

" My wife?" he asked as he handed her his suit jacket.

"She's upstairs Sir" she replied nervously as Tommy cocked an eyebrow in surprise.

" Did you not tell her that i expected to see her in the dining room?" He asked, his voice getting irritated with each second that passed.

" Yes Sir, she's very tired, I think she needs rest" Frances said trying to excuse you from his anger.

" Tired" he scoffed as he started marching up the stairs to your shared room. "I'm fucking tired, tired of this shit" he said under his breath, his steps echoing through the house as he walked up the stairs. "Seems my dear wife needs a helping hand getting of bed Frances!" he called out angrily as Frances hurried off, not wanting to get in the middle of a marital dispute.

"Y/N!" he bellowed as he got to the top of the stairs, throwing the bedroom door open.

" Tommy..." you replied in surprise as you sat up, eyes widening as you watched him storm over to your side of the bed.

" Been laying in bed all fucking morning eh?" he asked as he pulled the sheets away from you, scoffing when you closed your dressing gown tightly around your body.

"Why are you not downstairs in the dinning room, like I asked, hm?" he demanded to know, grabbing you by the hand as he pulled you out the bed.

" I'm not a child Tommy, you don't get to talk to me like that" you answered, irritation in your voice as you pulled his hand off you. Tommy was right behind you as you marched down the stairs to the dining room, you swore you could feel his eyes piercing into the back of your head, your stubbornness only angering him more. Once again you had disobeyed him, and this time he was going to make sure you knew it. Spinning you around, Tommy pulled you flush against his body, his arm hooked around the bottom of your back.

" Stop fucking acting like a child, and I'll stop treating you like one, ok sweetheart?" he said quietly into your ear, his breath hot against your skin, his words laced with anger as his hand traveled slowly up your back grabbing a handful of your dressing gown. Firmly holding onto your robe, Tommy spun you back around in one quick motion, pushing you down onto the dining table chair.

" Good" he said, hitching his suit trousers up as he sat down next to you, satisfied you hadn't talked back. What would be the point in arguing with him, your words would only go unheard, Tommy always had to be right. You decided not to say anything, instead you pinned all your hopes on Polly's visit, praying she could get through to her nephew and help your already rocky marriage. Lighting a cigarette, Tommy watched you as he inhaled the tobacco. He had you just the way he wanted, eyes cast down, submissive, subservient, the perfect little wife.

A knock on the dinning room door had you both looking up as Frances wheeled two plates of food in. As she made her way around the dining table you noticed almost instantly what had been prepared, your eyes darting to Tommy you watched the smirk form on his lips as he flicked the ash of his cigarette into a glass dish.

" Is there a problem?" he asked, a devilish darkness overtaking his eyes as he watched you look down at the plate of food now in front of you.

"I can get you something else Mrs Shelby?" Frances asked as she looked between you and Tommy.

" No it's fine, thank you" you answered as you breathed in the gamy smell of the lamb, your stomach already turning at its odor. His pettiness was blatant, you knew exactly what he was doing, it was childish, immature, and you refused to play along.

"Eat" he said as he nodded to the plate of food In front of you. Picking up your knife and fork, you cut a small piece of lamb, raising it to your lips as Tommy watched you intently. Placing it in your mouth, you looked over to him as the smugness spread across his face, he was enjoying this, enjoying his cruelness play out.

" You invited Polly to come today?" he asked as he took a sip of whiskey. Nodding, you slowly chewed on the piece of meat, swallowing harshly as Tommy watched your throat bob up and down as the food made its way down.

" Next time you invite someone, you ask me first"

" Tommy this is my home too, I don't have to inform you of everything I do" you replied, dropping your fork onto the plate, unable to eat anymore, your frustration mounting with him.

" But you do love" he said as he grabbed your chin turning you to face him. " You're my wife, so you'll do as I say. Now eat" he said picking your fork back up.

" I can't Tommy, I don't feel good " you answered. Was it the taste of the lamb already, or his controlling words that had your stomach churning, you couldn't tell anymore. Staring at him your eyes started to fill with tears. Taking a drag of his cigarette Tommy looked at you unsympathetically as one lone tear fell down your cheek. With your hand to your mouth, you bolted up, running as fast as you could to the closest bathroom. Bending over the toilet you threw up as you tried to hold back your hair away from the toilet seat.

"Hey, hey..." you heard softly from behind you as Tommy bent down next to you, collecting your hair into his hand as he rubbed your back while you hurled into the toilet once more.

Wiping your mouth you turned to him as you flushed the toilet.

" Why would you do that?" you asked weakly, tears streaming down your face.

"Do what?" He questioned a look of confusion in his eyes as he tried to fool you with his bewilderment, but all you could see was the smirk playing on the corner of his lips threatening to expose his cruelness. Turning back to the toilet you threw up again, gagging at the taste in your mouth.

" You see what happens when you don't talk to me hm, when you ignore me? How am I suppose to know anything about you, if you never say anything to me eh? he said as he continued to stroke your back.

" But...Tommy at the wedding I told you that..."

"Shh shh" he hushed you, pulling you into his chest as he gently caressed your hair, exhaling at the close contact of your warm body.

" Let me take care of you Y/N, stop fighting it." he said as he kissed the top of your head. In your weak state you found yourself leaning into his embrace, clutching onto his chest as he responded by holding you tighter against him, placing another kiss to your temple. Had he forgotten what you had said at the wedding? His sudden behaviour was confusing, he blew hot and cold with you as quick as his temper changed, you couldn't keep up.

For another hour you laid in bed, Tommy telling you to sleep as he worked in his office, ordering his men to go home for the rest of the day now he was back. But sleep was the last thing you did. Your thoughts had been consuming you as you bit anxiously on your nails. He was playing with you like a child plays with a toy, he hadn't forgotten, he knew exactly what he was doing. Having had enough of his constant change in personality, you decided to be as petty as him and play along with his little games..since he clearly enjoyed it so much. Marching down the stairs you walked right past his office as he looked up from his desk.

" Y/N, why are you not in bed? " he asked, getting up from his chair, following you as you walked out the back door to the gardens. Scoffing at him you ignored his question. In bed, exactly where he wants you to be, knowing where you are, doing what he wants, controlling you.

" What do you think your doing?" He said as he caught up to you.

" Going for a walk " you answered as you started making your way to the woods behind the house." Is that a problem?" you said sarcastically, echoing the words he would often use. Clenching his fist he watched you as you walked away from him.

" You'll get lost!" he shouted as he stood by the door.

" I'm a grown woman Tommy" you shouted back, your arms folded as you stormed off. So tempted to see his reaction, you turned around to see him staring at you, brushing his hand down his face as he then gripped his chin with his fingers.

A satisfied look spread across your face, you enjoyed the fact your defiance was getting to him, just like he enjoyed toying with your emotions. Was this a dangerous game to play though, for how long could you really keep this up?

It had been an hour since you stormed off, and you was officially lost. Fuck. Looking down at the floor you kicked a pile of sticks in frustration, Tommy having been right only angering you even more. Looking around in a panic, you tried to remember the route you took, but everything looked the same. A noise Suddenly caught your attention as you span around, your eyes trying to look through the endless row of tress in front of you. This was England, you tried to rationalise to yourself. The chances of a bear coming out at you, zero to none, a wolf maybe, or it could be the devil himself, you laughed to yourself. Is that what you was calling him now, your husband? Then you heard it again. Walking in the opposite direction you quickly picked up the pace as you glanced behind you once more, the rustling suddenly got louder, and that's when you saw it, a small rabbit not far from where you was standing, a sigh of relief swept over you as you walked over to the small ball of fluff. Bending down you put your hand out coaxing it forwards.

" Hello little guy, you scared me" you said as it quickly bounced off in the opposite direction. Your senses no longer on alert, you hadn't noticed the real threat standing next to you. The snap of a branch had you suddenly turning back around.

" Lost little bunny?" Tommy said a smirk on his face, as he leaned against a tree watching you, a cloud of smoke bellowing into the country air. Of course he had followed you, was he afraid you would run off and leave him?

" You followed me" you said, upset that no matter where you went or what you did he would always have his eye on you.

"Maybe you would prefer rabbit for lunch next time" he joked in a sister tone. " Come on, you've had your little tantrum, now let's go" he said taking your hand only for you to push it away.

" No. I'll go when I'm ready" you said adamantly as you watched the anger rise in his already tense body.

" Y/N, you're coming home with me now or els..."

" When I'm ready" you said sterner, Interrupting him.

" Fine. Spend all night here. See if I fucking care" he replied turning away from you, storming off as he threw his cigarette onto the ground. That was the last thing you wanted to do. You watched the route he took back as you slowly followed the same path.

It had been more than an hour until you finally reached the front door to your house. Walking in you glanced up at the clock it was nearly four, you hadn't missed Polly's visit. Walking through the foyer, you was met by Tommy as he walked out the living room, Polly following behind him.

" My loving wife has returned" he said sarcastically as he took a sip of his whiskey.

"Polly" you said ignoring Tommy's remark as you walked up to her, giving her a hug as you looked over her shoulder to see Tommy smirking at you. I'm glad I didn't miss you, I was out for a walk and got a little lost"

" You did miss me, love" she said kissing your cheek, smiling to you.

" But...you said you was coming at four"

"Polly arrived an hour ago Y/N " Tommy said staring at you, his mouth slightly open as his eyes glistened with mischief.

" It's alright love, you must have forgotten. One of the secretary's left a note saying you rang and changed the time to three" she said as she started to put her coat on.

" I...I didn't rin.." you stopped, looking to Tommy as he swirled the whiskey around in his glass. And then the realisation hit you, Tommy had changed the times.

With Polly adjusting her coat in between you both, you and Tommy stared eachother down, your anger at boiling point. Neither of you saying anything you just glared at eachother waiting for the other to do something.

"I can't stay love, i have to get back. We will arrange for another time" she said as she kissed your cheek once again. "Tommy told me everything, you'll settle in soon" she whispered quietly into your ear. You watched on in disbelief, what had Tommy said to her? As soon as the door shut, you marched over to your husband, anger in your face ready to confront him.

" You did that on purpose! What did you say to her?" You shouted at him, pushing his chest with both of your hands.

" You sure you're not still sick love? Don't have a fever do you?" he said, a cocky smile on his lips as he turned away from you, walking to his office.

" You changed the times of her visit, am I not allowed to see anyone?" you asked in desperation, as you tried to stand In front of him, trying to get his attention. Annoyed by your insistence on the matter Tommy Slammed you against the wall as he pushed his body onto yours.

" What if I did hm? What was you going to tell her eh? How it's been so hard for you? My poor little wife, she's suffering so much. I have given you everything Y/N, everything. Do you not remember our agreement hm?" He said angrily as he held your head between his hands, his leg between yours to keep you in place.

Nervousness building inside you, you watched as his eyes turned that sinister black you feared so much. Tears streaming down your face you looked at Tommy pleading with unspoken words to let you go. Brushing away a tear with his thumb, Tommy let out a frustrated sigh.

" Look, the sooner you start acting like my wife the better things will be" he said, gently caressing your cheek as he leaned in to press his lips to your tear stained ones.

"Kiss me back Y/N" he moaned against your mouth, desperate to feel something from you.

" Still playing hard to get eh?" he hummed against your lips as he pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes closing as his hands stroked down your arms.

" I hate you" you said quietly as your voice trembled in fear. Tommy's forehead still pressed against yours, his eyes darted open meeting the fear in yours, fury spreading across his face as you pushed him away from you. Running up the stairs you turned around to see him staring at you, his eyes never once moving from you as he watched you run up the large wooden stairs.

You didn't hate him, Tommy reasoned to himself as he sat in the dark green upholstered arm chair, blowing a cloud of smoke to the ceiling. You was just getting used to your new life he quickly justified . You're words were laced with anger though, he thought to himself as he clenched his jaw, flicking the flame of his lighter on and off as he watched you sleep in the bed in front of him, the freshly cleaned bed sheets draped gently over your body. Taking another drag of his cigarette Tommy leaned forward, his hand slowly stroking up your uncovered leg as he watched you sleep. Your skin was so soft, so delicate under his fingers, why wouldn't you let him near you? let him hold you, kiss you... touch you. Frustration building up he pulled his hand away, his shoulders tense, his jaw tightening. You shouldn't test him, he didn't want to lose his temper, he didn't want to hurt you. Stirring you started to wake up, the smell of tobacco filling your senses. Sitting up you looked In front of you to see an empty chair at the bottom of the bed, a lit cigarette still burning in an ash tray on a small table beside it. Your eyes darted around the room in panic.

"Tommy" you called out as you looked to the the landing light beaming through the half opened bedroom door. Clutching the bed sheets to your chest, fear rose in your body.

He had been here, he had been watching you...

NEXT PART

Tag list: @litteltourtius @aesthetic0cherryblossom @swordofawriter @casa-boiardi @muhahaha303 @fmo166

[fandom-chic]

Please Please Please: Chapter 9

Summary: Y/N is only a child when she and Tommy Shelby meet. The two quickly become best friends as they grow up in Small Heath. As the years go by, Y/N and Tommy realize there may be more to their friendship than they originally thought.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Y/N

Previous chapter

Days turned into weeks that turned into a month, and suddenly, it was August. Y/N didn't care what day it was, though; all she knew was Tommy was gone.

He had been taken from her before she could say stop, before she could rationalize with him. And then, with one fatal swoop, he was gone from her life. So she did the only thing she could think to do: rest.

She lay in repose once she got back from the hospital. Her father would check on her, bring her some soup, and even attempt a conversation, but he knew his attempts were useless. She would come to him when she was ready.

She thought a summer of supposed rest and relaxation would take her mind away from the fact that her one love was heading to his death, but it did the opposite. It gave her more time to ponder, to consider the future that could have been. She imagined every part of their future together.

The wedding was meant to be perfect, and they were going to promise themselves to each other forever. The honeymoon was going to be in a small cottage in the countryside where they would eat breakfast in bed and make love under the stars. Tommy would work in his company, moving more toward the legitimate, and Y/N would teach at the school down the road. Their home would be filled with little Shelby children who would have her husband's blue eyes and her warm heart.

This was a life that could be looked upon with pride. It was not one of excess or luxury, but it was her version of perfection. She had the love of her life, her babies, and a roof over her head. It was a version of happily ever after. But now, it was over. If only she hadn't been at the lake that day, if only Tommy had been there, if only she could've talked him down, maybe they would be getting this life.

She felt like she needed someone to blame, and her immediate thought was herself. What kind of woman goes alone to a deserted location, she would wonder. She would say it was all on her, but deep down, she knew that was not true. Tommy didn't have to kill that man, but he did. And now, everything was dead. These thoughts would make her stomach squeeze itself, as if punishing her for blaming her fiance for his evil action.

She would pull her blankets up to her nose and push that thought to the depths of her mind because it meant one thing that seemed to be certain: Tommy may no longer be in her life. France was dangerous, and his life may end before it has truly even begun. That made the squeeze of her stomach turn into a pit. She knew that was the worst possibility.

These thoughts swirled in her mind until August was almost coming to a close. The sun was setting earlier, and the air was beginning to cool as fall began to wade into the town of Small Heath. Y/N spent these days trying to distract herself with literature from the likes of Jane Austen and Mary Shelley. That was what she was doing when she heard a knock at her door.

She pretended not to notice her father pop his head into the room, saying, "You have a visitor." But that made her perk up.

"Who?" She asked. Her question was quickly answered by the presence of Polly Gray. She felt like a child compared to her. Polly was truly an elegant woman, even in the peril that was Small Heath.

"It's been a while, Y/N," Polly greeted as Y/N's father shut the bedroom door. Y/N sat up and straightened her back, trying to seem as graceful as she could sprawled across her twin bed.

"It has," she responded, staring at the older woman. The seconds of silence were deafening. Y/N scooted over on the small bed, giving room for Polly to take a seat. She obliged, sitting beside the younger woman. Y/N stared at her toes as Polly stared straight ahead, both of them searching for words to say. Polly broke the silence first.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here," she said, abstaining from looking at Y/N.

"You could say that," Y/N murmured under her breath.

With a sigh, Polly continued, "Tommy leaves at the end of this week," Y/N's eyes left her feet and went to the older woman's face, "He's shipping off to France with his brothers."

There were so many things to say to this, but all Y/N could say was, "Oh," as her mind raced. He's leaving. He's leaving her. He's going into a warzone. He can only kill more men there. But he's leaving her.

"I know the last month has been," Polly thought of her words, attempting to find a way to continue, "trying. But, I know you would regret it if you didn't say a proper goodbye. Both of you would." Y/N nodded her head.

"I know, I know I should," Y/N said, moving her gaze back to her toes, "but… I don't think I know him anymore." She didn't want to look at Polly for the next part, "He killed someone, Pol."

"I know, dear." Y/N felt a hand on her back as it began to rub circles.

"I don't know how we come back from that." The words came out before Y/N could stop them. She knew she meant them as much as she loved Tommy. He would never again be that sweet boy asking her to play ball with him. That boy was long gone.

"You don't," Polly began, "but that's okay. It's a new chapter of your life, and you read along." Y/N didn't know what to say as she finally looked at Polly.

"What if I don't like what comes next?" Y/N pondered as Polly looked at the younger girl.

"How will you know what comes if you don't try?" At that, Polly rose and began to make her way to the bedroom door. Before exiting, she pulled a slip of paper out of her coat pocket and laid it on Y/N's desk.

"Here is the address and time the boys are off," Polly said, "It's up to you what to do, but I know you don't want Tommy's last memory of you to be laying in a hospital bed." She then closed the bedroom door and was gone. Y/N waited until she heard the front door shut before falling back on her bed. She traced the cracks in the ceiling with her eyes, knowing exactly what she had to do.

That Friday, she wandered to the docks. It wasn't far from her home; nothing in Small Heath was that far, to be frank. The first thing she noticed was the sniffles and tears. They came from not only the women bidding farewell to their loves but also from the soldiers too.

She watched from afar at first, watching these bitter goodbyes. She knew for many, this may be the final goodbye. She took a breath, held it in her chest, and let it out before she wandered into the crowds. Her eyes wandered, looking for a set of blue eyes.

She was surprised when she first noticed Arthur. He looked handsome in his uniform, done up in a way she had rarely seen him before. Then she noticed John, holding his wife close to him as small children grabbed at his legs. It wasn't until the final man there turned around, and she saw him, Tommy. Her Tommy. His hat rested on his head, replacing the cap that usually was there. His uniform fit him nicely, hugging his slim body.

She saw him before he saw her, but she could see his eyes wandering the crowd. He was looking for someone. He was looking for her. When he saw her, his eyes brightened. That was all she needed to see to go to her love. She felt her feet pick up and rush her across the dock. The distance quickly shortened until she flung herself into his arms. She wrapped them around his neck, squeezing him tight against her chest. His arms were resting around her waist, holding her in place against him. She placed her head on his chest as he rested his chin on top of her.

"You came," the words were a whisper, but she could hear the hint of joy there.

"Of course I did," she replied, looking up at Tommy, "I had to say goodbye." She felt his hand run through her tresses as he pulled her back to his chest.

"Thank you." The words struggled to come out of his throat as he held her tight. His arms felt stronger than before. Not exactly larger than before but more toned. She knew why and it made her shudder at the thought of what training must have been like.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you," she murmured, knowing it was a little too late to apologize.

"I know." His words were curt; he didn't want to discuss this part of their goodbye.

"I was scared, Tommy." She felt his hands rest on her cheeks and position her face to look up at him.

"I know, Y/N. Please don't apologize for anything; you have nothing to apologize for." She knew he meant it.

"I don't know if I can forgive you for what you did to that man," his eyes shifted away from hers, "but I can learn to." Tommy didn't look back at her, and she continued, "I will wait for you, Thomas. I can't live my life without you." That was when his hands fell from her face to his sides. She let her eyes wander, and she noticed Arthur and John watching the two of them, caution in their eyes. Her gaze returned to Tommy, who finally looked back into her eyes. She didn't know what to expect. Maybe a declaration of everlasting love or a promise to wed as soon as he returned. But she didn't expect this:

"Please don't wait for a dead man," his words hit her like a brick wall. "Y/N, I'm tunneling underground. That's a death sentence."

"But, Tommy—"

"I don't think you understand, Y/N," his voice rose, "I'm not coming back." A beat passed before she raised her hands to his cheeks.

"But you will, Tommy, and I will be waiting, and we can—"

"I'm a dead man—"

"No, you're not. Stop saying that!" She yelled, matching his pitch.

"It's fucking true!" He screamed back. The silence after the storm was deafening as the lovers stared each other down. Tommy broke the gaze first, looking down at his new military boots. A tear fell down Y/N's cheek as she let her eyes rise to the sky, trying to keep the tears inside.

"Please don't say that." The words were a whisper now. She felt a pair of hands slide into hers. She looked down to see her hands in Tommy's.

"Y/N, I'm not coming back, and I think that's the best thing for you." She couldn't respond, so he continued, "You can marry a nice man, one who has no criminal record. You can have that quiet life that you deserve."

"Tommy, I don't want any life without you," she whispered; he rested his forehead against hers.

"I know, but you will learn to live. I know you will." She couldn't respond but instead held him close to her. She knew this would be the last time.

"You're breaking my heart, Tommy." He pulled her into his chest as the tears spilled over onto her cheeks. He doesn't say anything as they embrace one another, knowing it was the end. The end of something amazing. He didn't say anything when the bell rang, signaling the soldiers to say their final goodbyes. All he did was kiss her cheek before heading in the direction of the crowd. He didn't say anything when she crumbled to the ground, letting her emotions take her over as he sailed off.

She wasn't sure if this was the last time she would see Tommy Shelby. She wasn't ready to accept that. She didn't accept it until 1919, when she did see his face again.

Next chapter

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Voiceless | Shadows Beneath the Veil

Tommy Shelby x Reader

In the smoke-filled ambiance of the Garrison, Polly confronted Grace, her eyes hardened with determination. The murmur of conversations and the clinking of glasses served as the backdrop to this clandestine meeting.

"Polly," Grace greeted with a smirk, "what brings you here? Enjoying the company, or seeking some excitement?"

Polly cut through the pleasantries, her tone sharp. "Enough of your games, Grace. We know about the rumors and the lies you've spread. It ends here."

Grace feigned innocence, swirling the remnants of her drink. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Polly. I'm merely a friend looking out for Tommy's best interests."

Polly leaned in, her piercing gaze unsettling Grace's facade. "Save the theatrics. Your little charade is over. Leave Small Heath, Grace. Find another playground for your mischief, but it won't be here. Cross me again, and I won't hesitate to ensure your time in Birmingham becomes a living nightmare."

As Grace unhurriedly walks towards the exit, Polly's commanding presence lingered. She leaned forward, her words a whispered prophecy that sent a chill down Grace's spine.

"No matter what tricks you play, Grace, Tommy will always belong to Y/N. Their connection is deeper than your deceit. It's destiny, gypsy magic that binds them together."

Grace, sensing the weight of Polly's gaze, smirked one last time. "You should've known, Polly. Tommy Shelby was meant to be mine. I did what I had to do."

Polly, her anger simmering beneath the surface, shot back, "You'll regret the day you stepped into our lives, Grace. But, don't worry, you won't be here long enough to see the consequences."

"You know, I should've ensured that the man I hired to attack Y/N finished the job properly back then. Would've saved us all this trouble." Polly's eyes widened in shock and disbelief at Grace's callous admission.

The weight of the revelation hung in the air, an acknowledgment of a betrayal that ran deeper than anyone had imagined. "Attacking an innocent woman, trying to tear apart this family. There's a special place in hell for people like you."

As Grace made her way out, Polly, left in disbelief, pondered over the revelation that Grace had orchestrated the attack on Y/N, a revelation she hadn't anticipated.

Grace, just at the edge of hearing Polly's words, turned back briefly, a defiant smirk playing on her lips. "Tommy will be mine, Polly. You can't stop fate."

The realization left Polly with a mix of shock, anger, and a newfound understanding of the depths to which Grace was willing to sink in her pursuit of Tommy Shelby's affection.

Polly's response was a cold, knowing stare. "You've awakened something you won't be able to control. Tommy may have been blind to your true nature, but not anymore. Small Heath will be purged of your poison, one way or another."

As Grace disappeared into the shadows of the night, Polly's thoughts churned with a mixture of resolve and a simmering anger that foretold an imminent storm in Small Heath. The battle lines were drawn, and Polly Shelby, the matriarch of the Shelby family, was ready to protect her own.

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x08 After the Rain (Part 4)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

We have reached the end of Season 1!! Wild!! Time to celebrate!

Lord Featherington

So. Here's the thing. We gone nearly the whole season and have barely talked about Lord Featherington. And we get to his death and I don't know, it almost feels like... it's here because they didn't know what else to do with the character, so the easy way out is to kill him off. I mean, the season was planned, well knowing this was the ending, but as far as characters go, other than helping with Portia's character development, he didn't serve much of a purpose. Right?

And I mean, it's kind of wild that they implied that he was poisoned, but no one in seasons 2 or 3 (and especially 3 since this was the main focus the Featheringtons are going to get) seem to really care on this point. He's not even brought up again. There is no sentiment or attachment from anyone to this character. So, it's kind of weird to me that he even existed in the first place.

So, it leads me to the question -- what was Penelope's relationship with him? After, now, looking in depth at the entire first season -- I would say... they didn't have one. When he wasn't gambling the money away, he was being rather neglectful and absent as a father. Though, judging by her one comment in the pilot, she almost prefers that due to her mother being so meddling.

And here, she's looking concerned, because yeah, her father dying does have a lot of consequences for the family -- especially when he was the male figure of the household. But does she have any connection to him? Was he at all meaningful to her?

And I mean, while we don't have any evidence of it -- I just don't think so. Like I said, we see almost no mention of him going forward and zero people seemed to be concerned that he was poisoned so... I don't know guys. I just don't know.

Shoutout to Polly Walker, however, for really killing it in this scene, and how she's devastated but not because she's sad about him, but about the mess she leaves them. A+ acting there.

Endings and Goodbyes

This is just a fascinating shot. Not only do you get to see the full exterior of the Bridgerton home (which is so interesting to me -- they definitely are in the city but have this huge backyard, so is it walled in? - I'm so curious.) This is what Penelope can see from her room, btw, so she's always watching the Bridgerton business.

Anyway... That's Colin in the distance, getting ready to leave for his tour. And since he said he was leaving first thing in the morning, this is the day after the ball. (I just note it -- because sometimes this show's time line is really odd.)

The Whistledown narration is interesting here -- as it talks about how some endings seem more permanent than others. And I mean, she's clearly talking about Lord Featherington. But, she talks about people leaving for greener pastures. (And we all know how Pen feels about Colin leaving.) But with the narration over this shot, it feels, almost, like it's implying that Colin is done and heading out. The end. End of story.

And I have to wonder - was this an intentional misdirect? Did they want us to feel like this was the end of Colin? (Which, man, sucks narratively for this happily little show.) Or was it just easy to thematically link departures together? I mean probably. But it I feel like to a casual watcher, it feels like it implies more.

Also, side tangent - was this LW narration written before or after these moments. Did she pull an all nighter and get one out? Or is this reflection days later? No real answer, just something to ponder.

So, when we cut to Pen, she is crying her little eyes out. And omg, this girl is nasty crying. She is so upset. And...

I'm just torn on this moment.

Because I mean, I do think losing a parent, even when it was Lord Featherington, is hard. And Penelope is still so young, and this changes her family dynamic big time. That's a lot. So, even if her father wasn't someone she was close to, the impact of it and the suddenness of it probably still does hurt.

Meanwhile, though, is the fact that Colin's leaving. And again, I think the shots being one after another, with the discussion of departures, is meant to imply that Penelope is very upset that Colin's going away. She was almost breaking down at the ball -- so it's not far fetched that she's having a break down for that, as well.

And I mean, it clearly can be both. And I'm sure it's meant to be both. But it's just interesting that I don't think Penelope being that upset by her father dying is that earned (even if understandable). But I do think her being that upset about Colin leaving is. But it feels weird as the two are juxtaposed.

Anyway, something else that stands out to me -- is the fact that Penelope doesn't get to say goodbye to Colin. And, that in itself is a reason you know the story is going to continue. But it is interesting -- she runs away from him at the ball, and it's so left open ended. Clearly. The story is not over.

There's also this really neat, subtle thing that happens here, that Idk if it was intentional or not but it does stand out to me. Colin takes a second to throw a look back to the Featherington estate. Meanwhile, Penelope is clearly looking back out the window to where Colin is during this moment. It's a very small connection, but another nice nod that this is just a pause in the bigger story.

So, let's talk about Penelope and Eloise. First of all -- did Eloise just wander over? Did they happen to hear about Lord Featherington's death because they live next door? Idk, but it's early in the morning, and Eloise is, like, on top of it making sure her bff is alright.

And it's moments like these where I really do love their friendship. They're not always perfect for each other, or always in sync, but the genuine care they have for one another always comes through. Eloise, in particular, is not always the most observant of what's in front of her or cognizant of other people's feelings. But she is 100% here for Penelope, and says she'll give Pen a reason to keep on going. And it's incredibly sweet.

Penelope then asks Eloise about LW, keeping up appearances by asking if Eloise has saved Madame Delacroix. Eloise says she did, and that hopefully it'll mean that she'll help right all the wrongs she caused.

And while we know that really happen, we do get Penelope's line -- where she says that things will definitely be interesting with LW still running around next season. And, lol, it's such a Season 2 set up line. It's almost clunkily so, but I kinda love that stuff, so it doesn't bother me any.

Oh, also a couple of side notes. We're in Penelope's room, and I'll have to watch for it next season, but they do keep the same set (or set up) for Pen's room, for the most part. But you know what's missing? The big ass mirror that hangs out in the corner in Season 3. And the settee where Pen sits and stares forlorn out the window. Interesting, right? Idk - I just love checking out sets and details with the sets when I can.

Also. There sure is a lot of blue in her room. Lol. (I mean, fine, it's more of a seafoam green-ish color, still. The decor is NOT yellow.)

We also get the wrap up of the Marina story line. It's implied (and as we know, it happens) that she marries Phillip Crane. A bittersweet ending. And, idk, for all of the hoopla that went into her story, she kind of quietly is shipped off -- her only real moment of goodbye (?) her convo with Portia asking about how she dealt with a loveless marriage.

Marina shares a quick look with Penelope, but there's not any real emotion behind it. I suppose Marina and Pen's ending happened at the beginning of the episode, and this is just mere epilogue-ishness. Penelope does seem a little sad to see her go. Again, in a bittersweet way. She did like Marina, and does want Marina to be okay, and did enjoyed having an ally, even if it was for a short time. But with all the drama that went on, Penelope is probably alright that she moves on. (that's pure headcanon on my part - she does look genuinely sad in this scene.)

Also - we get set up, again, for Season 2, as we get notice that the new 'lord' of the Featherington estate has been found. But who is he???? I guess we'll find out next season ;)

And... then we move to Colin saying goodbye to his family -- looking adorable on his horse, with his top hat, and very Englishman going out into the world. He tells everyone he'll write them from Greece (and we all know how that'll work out from him.) And then, after a bit of banter from the youngest Bridgertons about what gifts they'll get from him, he rides off into the sunset (...or sunrise, since it's first thing in the morning).

Btw, I love that they all wave to him after his back is turned.

Also, it just occurred to me that, in case I missed something, and I don't think I did, neither Penelope or Colin exchange dialogue with Simon. Colin comes close, as he's in the background of a few scenes. But yeah, this show is kind of fascinating at how little subplots intertwine with the main one.

Anyway the show goes off -- wrapping up all the other story lines Penelope and Colin aren't a part of. Except one...

We get some exchange between Eloise and Benedict that reveals that Madame Delacroix can't possible be Lady Whistledown. So who is... well the narration taunts us, stating that her identity is never going to be revealed, and yet, here we are -- a hooded figure scurrying away from the scene, happy not to have been caught.

She boldly claims that she'll reveal herself on her own terms. And do we get to see who it is? Of course we do! And it's our Penelope.

And, god bless Nicola for this -- the look on her face is amazing. It's this mix of devilishness and mischief and smugness. And it's not a look we've seen on Penelope. At. All.

It's also a delicious tease for the next season. So now we know and now the audience can go back and rewatch Season 1 and catch on to all the little clues that are left there, while waiting for what's going to happen in Season 2. It's really quite brilliantly done.

The ominous music combined with the Whistledown theme is just amazing. The scoring is really amazing on this show. I haven't given it enough credit (yet).

(My only not really a nitpick because I totally get why they did it is the light -- this is part of the flashback, which definitely takes place in the middle of the night, so where is the light coming from? The same place as the music I suppose. The reveal is still fantastic.)

And there we go, guys. Season 1 is done!!!

And, I mean, look -- the thing about this show (kind of) being an anthology show, season 1 isn't my favorite. The Simon and Daphne's story just is not for me (and that's fine).

But the thing I do adore about the Penelope and Colin story is that this season really does lay groundwork for what comes after. We get a very layered introduction to both of them. They both have arcs. They both change throughout the season. And we get to the foundation of their dynamic.

And I think (for me) one reason I find their story captivating is that we do get to have a couple of seasons of growth and development. Season 3 becomes all the more richer for it.

And so we move on into Season 2, which has a different tone and a whole lot more to dig into!

Until then, gentle readers..... ;) <3

[cassius-casim]

Despite My Despair:Chapter 1

Tommy Shelby / Autistic male reader

Word count:3182

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Warning this chapter will contain : graphic descriptions of sensory overload ,a hint of sexism and racism ( literally only one sentence)

This fic is as historically accurate as possible , please consult the author’s notes if there is any confusion or for your own curiosity.

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Fuck.My.Life.

Out of all the days I could have had, why did I have to have this one ?

Walking along the dreary road with each step, the volcano of emotions inside me slowly moved up with the increasing threat of erupting as I pondered back to what happened earlier.

“Why did you have to provoke him!?”

“ It's your job to de-escalate the situation!”

“How could you be this useless !?”

Once I finally approach my home the familiar horseshoe on the door greets me. Despite my inner turmoil , i open the door carefully,not wanting to start something that would only cause regret .Lumbering over to the tiny kitchen. Putting my now torn coat on the back of the chair lowering myself onto it as i slowly my burrowed my into my hands, releasing puffs of angry breath.

“Are you alright Cassius?”

Looking up, Polly stood in the entryway, hands on hips with her face clouded with concern .

“I'm fine Pol , just had a shit day.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Yes , please.”

“Alright let me get some snacks , something tells me we're going to need the energy.”

Minutes pass as we set the table with biscuits and drinks . When we are done Polly turns over to me :

“So, gonna tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“Basically I was doing my job. The train arrived at the station as usual. I was pulling out a gentleman's bag to be passed on, until I felt a tug on my coat. It was the owner of the bag. The gentleman had only just gone and accused me of stealing it from the steward. When I tried to reason with him saying I was the steward and it was my job , he wouldn't believe me . So when I tried to get the station mistress involved , he pulled me back. Pulled me back so hard my coat ripped as a result it ripped. Eventually the station mistress did get involved afterwards, but now I have to pay for a new coat which is now going to come out of my wages this week. Because apparently according to my boss it was my fault it got ripped.” I felt bad for telling Polly a diluted version of the ordeal, but she wouldn't have let the issue go if she knew the truth . As Polly digests what I just said I think back to what had actually happened:

( 1 hour earlier )

I waited outside Mr Wakefield's office , the old rigidity bench I sat on creaked at the slightest bit of weight on it with my coat draped over my arm , around me the walls were covered in a frog like green paint with bits of paper layered across it . The sound of heels hitting the ground pulled me away from reading what was over there stood Ms.Jameson who wore a professional cyan garb with a matching jacket and shirt , with her fair hair styled in mid length curls and possessed an air of elegance out of place here .

“ Cassius ? Mr Wakefield is ready to see you now .”

I got up from my chair , as I walked towards my bosses’ office the walls became less cluttered the more I walked. When I finally reached his office I was greeted by his fine wooden door adorned with “Andrew Wakefield Head of Birmingham Railways”.

I knocked on the door tentatively which i heard a annoyed “Come in”

I opened the door to see a portly man with thinning black hair and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth .

“ Yes, Sir, you wanted to see me ?”

“ Yeah . I did . I heard about the incident that happened today . Care to explain why you couldn't handle it yourself ?”

“ Well Sir , the customer became violent to the point he tore a part of my uniform as you can see here.” I say I held up my torn coat .

“ So you had to involve poor Mrs Jones because you couldn't handle it yourself?”

“ I mean that is part of her job.”

“Cassius , your job is to handle it, her job is to manage the entire bloody station. Why couldn't you solve it yourself?"

“ Because he started yelling at me and got so close to me I thought he was going to hurt me. How was I meant to solve it?”

“ So you're telling me that my own steward can't do his bloody job cause customer was mean to you !? And you had to drag a woman into this !?” Red started to creep onto his face . I feel a stab of pain . I look down to see him gripping arm so hard his nails are piercing my skin.

“ HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING STUPID!?”Blood starts to trickle down my arms .

“IT'S YOUR JOB TO DE-ESCALATE THE SITUATION YOU FEEBLE MINDED CRETIN !”

“ I BET YOU EVEN PROVOKED HIM DIDN'T YOU?”

“ …we-”

“ DON'T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME ! BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING BEHAVIOR , YOUR REPLACEMENT COAT IS COMING OUT OF YOUR NEXT WAGES. NOW ,GET .THE .FUCK . OUT OF MY OFFICE !” He bellows while launching me out of his office leaving me to have the air knocked out of me by the concrete floor.

Coming back to the present, Polly stared at mid-space, contemplating.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Well…I don't know . I love my job but I hate how I am treated for things I can't help.”

“So why not tell , Tommy ? I bet you would be treated better after your boss has one meeting with him.”

“Because Tommy has enough on his plate as it is and I don't want to add to his stress. After all, he's only now started to let himself heal.” And if Tommy meets Mr Wakefield he might actually kill him and I am NOT going to lose this job as I might get sent off to the colonies .

“Well it sounds like to me you need a distraction.”

“Yeah…THAT would be great.”

“Alright let's relax for a bit before we'll go.”

[ 15 minutes later ]

“Cassius, you ready to go?” Polly asked me as she passed over the last of the biscuits. The fury I once felt now subsided and I could now focus on the tea that I was having . Teatime, like Polly, was important and a break from the chaos outside. She's practically my mother as they both had to take turns to take care of me after me and the Shelby siblings growing up, which is how we grew so close over the years . She was draped in a loose navy blue dress, and a light brown belt cinched around her waist, which was a nice contrast to the grimy bricks .

“I'm not sure ,won't it be too noisy at this time, Pol?” As I reclined back in the wooden chair on the table was strewn with refreshments.

“It's going to be a quiet night .The loudest person there will be Arthur. Plus,Tommy will be there.” She said, knowing I would never turn down any opportunity to see Tommy,especially since I hadn't been able to spend time with him for the past couple of days since he's been swamped with work

“Okay , give me 5 minutes to get ready !” I yelled as I shot up the chair so fast it nearly fell over and raced upstairs to get changed .

“But you look fine !” Polly said exasperated but somewhat amused.

“I want to look amazing when I see Tommy !” I reply as I start to get change in me and Tommy's room which definitely wasn't made for 2 people as it has cramped space and a single bed , although the room wasn't the best looking with its warm yellow wallpaper and the decorations were a strange mix of mismatched mementos the Shelbys collected over the years like horseshoes and a ship hook which came from the boat they used to live in.

When I put on my outfit, I gaze into the mirror to see if it looks alright. Said outfit in question was a navy blue striped shirt which was a good contrast to my light brown skin, light gray trousers with suspenders, as I gave my black hair a quick brush to make it look acceptable . As I adjusted my matching striped pre tied bowtie (which I'm glad no one can make fun of me for ) , when I went back downstairs again on the way down I put on my coat well it's actually Tommy's since I can't wear my torn one , which is woolen charcoal gray , and turned to Polly at the door . Who changed into a ruby red dress with a translucent v neck and puffed up sleeves, and she styled her hair into a somewhat messy side braid .

We linked arms as we went out the door ,walking in sync, talking about whatever, and if Polly had any visions recently . As we approach the Garrison, its dark wood exterior, which at first looks like all the other buildings around, but the warm lights from inside, presents a tempting invitation to those approaching.

When we finally enter the Garrison, we are greeted by its warm, welcoming atmosphere , which contrasts the cold, dreary mood from outside. Its lights highlight all the mahogany furniture and present a relaxed environment . As Polly goes off to talk to Harry , I look around the pub, trying to find where Tommy is . He's looking infuriatingly handsome wearing a white shirt with a detachable collar with black stripes paired with a dark gray woolen waistcoat and black trousers , with his coat hung over his chair which makes his baby blue eyes stand out . Trust Tommy Shelby to look breathtakingly handsome without even trying. We've been together since the war ended, and at the beginning, it was tough . Tommy returned from The Great War; he came back haunted by the horrors of war, the memories of which would attack him at the most unexpected times . It wasn't as bad as it was back then, but a part of me does wonder if he has never left the war, except this one was a one in his mind that has changed him and if there is no way to help him from this torment.

Yet despite this , I try my best to support him with whatever I can whether that is to comfort him after he suffers from the horrors of his mind , create an environment where he feels safe whenever we are alone and make sure he knows he is not alone and can talk about it when he is ready . Whilst he would never get better , but then again, like my condition, this is something I hope he can learn to live with without it cutting him from the inside.

I see him talking with John who is donning a black striped jacket with matching waistcoat and a white shirt with collar like Tommy and a chocolate brown tie and Arthur ,who is adorning a woolen gray coat and waistcoat with a white shirt and the same collar as his brothers which he added a splash of colour with a red tie, to talking about something in the betting shop looking carefree, which he has been like with his family recently.

“ Princely, what are you doing over there ? Come over here !” Tommy said teasingly with a lopsided grin.

I walked over to him to sit on his lap and wrap my arms around him while nuzzling his soft neck.He brings his calloused hands to rub circles in my hair , as he does this i feel all the nerves evaporate from me as I listen to the familiar rhythm of his heart.

“How are you doing, Tomcat?”

“I'm doing great love , for once I didn't want to strangle someone.”

After he says that, he furrows his brows and looks at me concerned:

“Princely, are you alright? What happened to your coat?”

“ Oh I left it at home. I must've picked up yours by accident .”

“ Well, let me take it off of you then it's too hot to wear that in here if that's okay with you.” I nod as I shrug off the coat to give it to him , as he puts it on top of his own coat with one hand so he wouldn't have to move .

“So is there anything else I can do for you?”

“If it's no bother , can you get me a Vimto cordial with water plus some ice in it if you can ?”

“Sure , no problem, I was going to refill my glass anyway. I'll be back in a bit .”

When he returns with the drinks I got back on his lap , as I take a sip of my drink I think he made it himself as it isn't diluted as it normally is . As we drink in comfortable silence , I look around taking in our surroundings when a realisation hits me .

“Wait, where's Arthur and John ?”

“ Oh, they're just in the private booth , doing god knows what.”

“So Tommy, can I ask you something?”

“Yes ,Princely, what is it ?”

“Is it true you rode a horse across the street?”

“Yes, I did . Why do you ask ?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could do that on our next date .”

“...Why ?”

“Because I want to feel like a fairytale prince and be swept up on my feet by a handsome man on horse , and plus we can't get stuck in traffic since a horse isn't technically a vehicle.”

“ Love, I don't think that is legal .”

“Since when did you care about what is legal!?”

He smirks , ready to retort back with something “ Well, Princel-”

“ Um , Tommy?”

We both looked around to see who interrupted Tommy. It was Arthur who was looking sheepish for some reason .

“Yes, Arthur, what is it ?” Tommy said, annoyed that we were interrupted.

“ We need you to come to the private room to talk business.”

“ Which part, Arthur ?”

“Kimber ,Tom . He's being a right prick.”

Tommy signs exasperated “Oh for fuck sake , alright you go in I'll be in there in a bit .” He says whilst carefully pulling me off his lap .

He turns his attention back to me . “Sorry Princely looks like our time has been cut short , do you want me to get someone to escort you home?”

“It's fine Tommy , but I think I would like to stay here for a little while longer then I will go home with Polly when you are done .”

“ Alright but if you need me I will be in the private booth , okay ?”

“Okay , try not to kill anyone .”

“No promises love” He says as he kisses my cheek before he goes.

At first I relaxed in my chair , daydreaming about my next date with Tommy and how to make sure he will be comfortable where it will be , I am interrupted by a loud sound from the door . I snap out of my ponder to see a group of factory men loudly yelling at the barmaid to get drinks. Looking through the window, I see it's dark outside , shit I forgot about keeping track of how much time has passed since Polly must've left already . I can't leave without someone escorting me home as it's not safe for me to go home alone at night in Birmingham, and the pub is starting to get too crowded with people for me to recognise anyone I know .

What the hell do I now ?

Okay I have to get to Tommy but the pub is so full I can't see which room he is in .

As I lean back in my chair, it felt like everything around me was heightened as I could hear bits of every conversation from all the patrons merging together from all sides of the room to form a never ending incoherent mess, the volume of this mess sounds like the roars of thunder each time they spoke, my ears are straining at this combination . My chest starts to feel too tight, everything feels way too , as I feel the oxygen slowly drain from the room the madding rhythm of my heart is telling me I need to go NOW .

I rushed to the bathroom the smell of cleaner and musk hitting me in the face and as I sat on the brown wooden floor which somehow has multiple shades, I leaned against the gray wall or at least I think it is as the yellow light of the bathroom makes it hard to tell. I begin rocking forwards and backwards, thinking that this might give me some comfort from this situation as I feel myself slowly dissociate more and more as this continues .

Why is this not helping !?

I'm in a different room with no people yet despite this I am still feeling like this .

Feeling deeply distressed because of this I started desperately hitting my head repeatedly, hoping that the pain would stop this horror from happening to stop me from processing all these things at once and end this suffocating experience . As I run my fingers through my hair , trying to regain some sort of control and think of what to do best but my mind is still foggy.

Then I hear the sound of the door opening, the loud noises from outside leaking into the room for a couple of seconds into the cold isolated bathroom, and then for some reason a man hovering above me . I can't focus on his face as when I try to look up to see his face the but I can't make it out clearly as the light flickering harshly against my eyes , but from what I can see is that he is white , has brown hair judging by his arms and his white shirt has a beer stain .

“Are you okay, mate?”

He says he doesn't know what to do with me .

He sounds...younger than I thought, like he must be around my age.

At this point , I feel like talking is beyond me. As I feel like I can't even speak . Which in of itself is terrifying . . So I nod instead, not knowing what else to do. He looks confused, but I think he probably thinks I'm high on snow or something.

“Okay then , try not to wreck the place.” He says lightheartedly as he leaves .

When he leaves the contrast between the busy pub and the isolated bathroom , with my only solace being my thoughts but even then I feel them turning against me.

How can anyone help me if no one knows where I am ?

How am I going to get out of here if I can't see the exit through all those people?

Would anyone notice where I've gone ?

Would anyone care ?

I can hear the noise from outside starting to emerge in the room as I can feel it slowly suffocating me , as I can feel my body continuing slowly shutting down . The more time passes, the more overwhelmed I feel as the reality of the situation sits in . Eventually, I can't take it anymore, feeling everything at once but with no way to do anything about it , so I start to lie down on the cold floor as I stare at the ceiling, feeling utterly exhausted but restless at the same time . Hoping that being unconscious would stop the anguish I was feeling, but then the door opens again, and I hear:

“Princely, are you there ?”

Authors Notes

●Pretied bowties were laughed at in public in the UK at the time. 

●Vimto was invented in 1908 in Manchester 

●Cordial is a temperance (non-alcoholic ) drink originally,  it's a concentrated fruit syrup 

●Ice was accessible to a wide range of people through ice factories in the country from the 1900s , but I couldn't confirm how much this would've cost the average person 

●Stewards was the person who would carry your bags and put them on the carriage 

●Station master / mistress is the person who manages the train station . 

●Feebleminded Cretins was an insult used to describe disabled people of colour this tended to be used in eugenics texts 

●Andrew Wakefield is the name of the man who started the vaccines cause autism movement in the 1990’s to sell his own version of the MRR (Measles , Mumps and Rubella) vaccine 

●Stewards were open to people of colour at the time 

●Colonies were places were disabled adults and children  lived and @worked in the country separate from the rest of the population in remote villages 

Credits ( people I would like to thank):

@gay_AF_satan for writing the fic where I got the term Princely from .Here's the link for it :

@red-write-hand and @rysko for reading previous drafts of this and gimming me good feedback to help me improve this

And finally @raven-phoenix who tirelessly helped me every step of the way and helped me flesh out the chapters and certain scenes .

[painted-kneecaps]

Pride and Prejudice and Turnabout

PROGRESS REPORT WE’RE ALMOST TO 4K WORDS ON THE FIRST DRAFT BABY AND ITS STILL DAY ONE

Here’s more Fey-Wright family shenanigans, as a treat <3

Apollo’s Plan

•

“He’s a lawyer?” Apollo squawked, launching out of his chair as his voice reverberated through the breakfast room, causing Athena to wince, flinching as she poured herself a cup of tea.

“Polly, please,” she murmured through gritted teeth, and Apollo hunched his shoulders sheepishly, sinking back into his seat.

“Sorry, Athena,” he said in hushed tones, holding his breath before turning his attention back to Phoenix, who had set the letter down atop the table and was now buttering his toast.

“He’s a lawyer?” He asked again, in the most composed indoor voice Phoenix had ever heard from him. Trucy and Athena snickered, and Phoenix felt his own mouth twitch upwards in a crooked smile.

“Seems so,” he confirmed “and he’s bringing his associates with him.”

Apollo lunged forward, grabbing the letter and holding it inches from his face as he read ravenously. Phoenix raised his eyebrows, watching him in perplexed amusement over the rim of his teacup. Trucy groaned.

“You’re such a nerd, Polly,” she rolled her eyes.

“Or maybe,” Apollo said as he folded up the letter and placed it back on the table. He knit his fingers together and smiled haughtily. “I’m the one who’s going to save this family.”

All eyes trained on him as he sat, smugly spooning scrambled eggs onto his plate.

“...Care to elaborate?” Athena pressed. Maya picked up the letter and began to read.

“What, are you going to marry this guy?” she asked. Her brows furrowed as she read further. “Oh, Polly no, he’s insufferable. You can do better than this.”

“No, I’m not going to- oh, for the love of God,” Apollo spluttered, then sighed. “Look. This guy is a lawyer, right? Probably from a pretty successful firm, given the fact that he’s able to afford Netherfield- and on top of that, he’s bringing his law friends with him.” Apollo fixed Phoenix with a grin, eyes sparkling with determination. “So, all we have to do is befriend them, then convince one of them to invest in the Agency. Show them how important it is for a small town like Kurain to have its own law firm, and not just be dealt with long-distance by city lawyers who have never settled a farmland dispute. Day saved, problem solved, happily ever after, etcetera.”

Phoenix pondered as he chewed his toast. The kid had a point. They had other investors- bigger firms with shares in the Agency. It would be beneficial to have another ally in London, especially if they were on friendly terms with the shareholders.

He regarded Apollo’s wide, earnest expression over the rim of his teacup.

“Okay,” he said slowly, mouth twitching in amusement as Apollo’s face split into a wide, excited grin “That’s not a bad idea, Polly.”

“So, what, you’re going to woo this guy into giving us money?” Maya questioned, bewildered “Because that sounds a lot like my plan from-”

“Yes! I won’t let you down, Mr. Wright!” Apollo shouted triumphantly, ignoring Maya completely. “By the time I’m done with them, they’ll be begging for shares in our firm!” Everyone winced. Athena clamped her hands over her ears.

Apollo shrunk down into his chair once again. “Sorry,” He squeaked, still grinning fiendishly.

[viscerawrites]

Last Line Tag

i was tagged by @thatfunkylilfey and @katenewmanwrites a while ago!! thank u!! :3

rules: make a new post and share the last line(s) you wrote

this is from a standalone short story! its working title is currently "Polly the Pin Doll" but i likely will not keep that lol. all i can say abt it atm is that its abt two sisters and a poppet (aka a "voodoo doll" but i dont like using that terminology)

---

I packed quickly, stacking my belongings together in a swift game of Tetris, while she seemed to ponder each item that she placed in her last box. It was annoying, but everything about her was annoying right then, so I said nothing. It didn’t matter how I felt, anyway. Her hands shook more often than not now, and her face was starting to scar, and I didn’t have the heart to hurt her any more than that.

tagging (w/ no obligation) @sabewebb @vacantgodling @illarian-rambling @space-writes @dyrewrites @ashfordlabs @saturnine-saturneight @grimmdivinity @abalonetea @princeofhags @armentas and YOU!

[lapetiteceinturesworld]

Hi, Grace and Tommy fans out there! Out of the blue, I decided to post short scenes from my upcoming Tommy and Grace novel here on tumblr, just snippets that I hope you'll enjoy. I'm a slow writer, so the novel is moving along quite slowly but steadily. In the meantime, while it's being finished, I wanted to give you a piece of it now, so that you know how many people love this fantastic couple, and so that you feel you're not alone in your adoration. If you like these short posts, let me know and I'll publish more in the future. :)

"There's something else I'm curious about," Grace mentioned, after Tommy's head had come to rest on her shoulder again, and she was staring at the rays of light scattered across the floor, pondering. "What the meaning of that two words you used to describe me?"

"What do you mean?"

"It sounded like femeie nebună."

"Do you understand Romanian?" Tommy marveled.

"A little. Don't avoid the question!" she warned him after Tommy hadn't said a word for half a minute.

"Maybe we shouldn't have started this conversation," he murmured under his breath. Releasing Grace from his arms, he leaned against the bedpost, not bothered by the hard bedrails pressing into his spine. With raised eyebrows, Grace stared back, giving Tommy a meaningful glance. Her lover first sighed, then spread his hands wide as a final gesture of relinquishment, then lowered them resignedly. "Crazy woman."

"What?"

"It means: crazy woman."

If the accusation of being dramatic doesn't hold up, neither does the suggestion that she doesn't pull herself together quickly after the shock of an unexpected event. This included when her lover called her crazy women.

"Did you really call me that?" she was indignant, but Grace herself realised the contradictory impression her grinning lips gave. This did not stop her from continuing. "In the middle of our first quarrel?" she complained. "And why is that exactly?" Tommy shook his head, laughing. Grace's upper body half turned towards him and she rested her legs beside herself. "And what did I ever do to deserve such an honourable title as crazy?"

"Shall I sort? You pointed a gun at me. You threatened to blow my brains out if I ever thought of using you again to achieve my goals. For the record, that part was justified. I watched you shoot your shitty cousin... if I counted right, six toes, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and then warned him that if he insulted you again, you'd rip his tongue out. He attacked you, and you broke his wrist. I heard from Polly that you stole her pistol and needle from her purse as you walked past her and replaced it with a whisky bottle and a wooden stick. Then you pointed the needle at her throat and threatened to shoot her too. When I heard that, I couldn't believe my ears. That was surprising, even for you. Nobody ever dared treat Polly like that before. I'm quite impressed, Miss Burgess," he tilted his head. There were sparks of amusement in his eyes, with a hint of genuine astonishment and a touch of harmless sneer.

"I simply laid down the rules." Grace had no intention of making excuses. She didn't embellish the facts, because there was nothing new in them. Everything happened exactly as Tommy had just described it. Grace had been aware that the Shelby sisters' aunt had not taken her to heart, and from her past experience, and from the number of times Polly Gray had tried to get her out of her own way just to prove herself superior, and when she had failed, had always countered with some outrageous insult, Grace had drawn the reasonable conclusion that she did not like Polly either. Grace could not deny that she considered her certain qualities worthy of respect, but Polly was too much of a competitive spirit, not helped by her spectacular jealousy of the influence she felt Grace was exerting over Tommy. As if the only way a man and a woman can work together is for one to manipulate the other through trickery. "No one can falsely accuse me and then walk free and expect to get away with it."

[mazm-imagines]

Mazm week day 7 entry for estrangement. FINALLY IM DONE HELLLLL YEAH! 517 words under the cut!

“Kay…” The name was softly uttered from across the room, almost imperceptible if it wasn't for the fact it was near silent. 

“What is it Pollie?” He half wanted to say ‘can it wait until tomorrow?’ as he was nested comfortably in his bed. But he resolved to have been kinder towards her. The best way to have done that was with his words first.

“Sorry… it's- do you miss anyone from London?” Pollie whispered from her bed. 

“That's- sudden.” 

“I know. I know. It's been a while. It's- when I read that letter from Alan… I miss his smile y'know? His stupid nagging… He's still nagging but it feels different. Then I think about Gramps and his nagging…” In the dim moonlight, Kay could make out the features of Pollie grow sad. In turn his own lips curled into a frown. 

Why did Pollie have to remind him of his own plight? Had she thought he'd move on already just because his last encounter with the man was negative? 

His own mentor, attempting to kill him.

It made the departure easier, but now he'd have to deal with the aftermath. 

“I miss Alan too. Miss Mihir…” 

“Of course you miss him.” The statement sounded almost jealous, or even harsh, but Kay knew it was just an attempt to lighten the mood. Besides, she had her own score to settle with the man that she never quite could.

“Oh stuff it! I won't talk to you for the rest of the night if you'll be like this…” 

“I'm kiddin’! I'm kiddin’… I understand. He's the one that got us here in the first place…” 

“Yes…” And finally did they run out of anything else to say for that night. But there was much to ponder then.

Kay hoped Jekyll was safe, maybe even happy, even though he had wronged him in such a terrible way. 

It was heartbreak, it was cathartic. So much and so little.

Perhaps he should've seen it from the start, from the very moment he was placed under his care. 

Father Michael was gentle, supportive of all his endeavors even if they ended in failure. Those failures were a learning experience, he had said. It was best to get lost in science. 

And Jekyll… his approach was what one could call pragmatic. Sure for the sake of humanity, but… oddly self-serving. 

And the fruits of his seperation of duality… its fangs, its sharp claws. What he created was no longer human.

The concept in itself was flawed from the beginning. Perhaps he should've stopped him before he'd ever given life to the idea. But he knew no matter what he would've done, this would've been the outcome. 

He was more than willing to make amends, to do something useful. And Jekyll… had thrown him out before his real potential began.

The only authority he could've trusted was Father Michael, it was apparent. He would now dedicate his achievements to Father and Father alone. That much brought peace in his heart despite his newfound estrangement. 

Jekyll was nothing to him, and that was alright.