#THESE ARENT EVEN MY TEAMS??

[grandmafc]

sports are so stressful and for what. i’m not a gambler, i don’t know any of these people personally, why does my tummy hurt.

[s0fter-sin]

god the way ghost’s voice drops when he tells soap, “you’ll need to improvise to survive”

before that, everything he says is steady but when he acknowledges that soap’ll have to do something outside his skill set, something he intimately knows to be difficult, his voice wavers. he does the same when he says, “welcome to guerrilla warfare”; it’s sombre and serious in a way he doesn’t act for the rest of the mission. if you read into it enough, he almost sounds apologetic; like he knows exactly what soap’s about to go through and wishes he didn’t have to

he keeps soap going; poking at him and making jokes, giving him tips and asking about his progress. he never lets him stop and take a second to think bc he knows the moment he does is the moment it'll all hit him; the betrayal, the pain, the fear, the deaths, all of it will drown him and if that happens, soap won't make it

he needs him to be a soldier through and through and he knows this is one of the worst kinds of battlefields you could end up on

and the only times he slips is when he acknowledges that fact

it happens again when he says, "tryin' to get you here alive and in one piece". his jovial dark humour facade drops for just a moment when he has to face the potential reality of losing soap. then he tries to pick it back up again with, "one of us has to survive to tell the tale"; completely discounting himself as a survivor to try and rally soap and make him think it’s all down to him

and soap does the same thing

when he's calling out for ghost on the radio, he's tentative, testing the frequency, then when he doesn’t get a response, he grows desperate; "ghost, this is 7-1, do you copy?"

then when ghost answers, he smooths out his voice; he hides the pain, the fear, and no matter what response you give to ghost asking if he’s injured, soap brushes it off (“i’m good”, “what’s the difference?”, “i’m not a medic”). soap decides it’s in ghost’s best interest to hide the extent of his injuries

he doesn’t know where ghost is, if he’s secure, if he has any weapons; he doesn’t even know if he’s in las almas until he says, “there’s a church, i’m headed to it”. for all he knows, he could’ve run in the complete opposite direction. if ghost knows he’s hurt, then his attention would be split between his own survival and soap’s

and soap, who lets himself be poked and prodded towards the church, needs to hide his own doubts. maybe he needs ghost to believe he'll make it so he himself can believe it ("what are my odds?" "don't make me bet against you", "think i'll live that long?" "probably not")

he all but begs ghost to tell him he'll get through it and if he knows just how bad off he is, maybe he'll change his mind. maybe he'll think he won't make it to the church

maybe he'll leave him alone for good

"you injured?"

"i’m good"

"let's find out how good you are"

[yinyangle]

i am so incredibly autistic about them you people have no idea

rambles and stuff under cut

anyways. so heres chat my beloved. brain decided twitch chat was most important character ever. now im stuck like this, with a little purple hivemind as a comfort. wonderful. i even have a roblox avatar of them it looks like this

isnt it awesome. it barely looks like them but it gets the point across. i love it. it makes me so happy. they make me so happy. for no reason. i love how my design of them has evolved over time.

have i ever shown them without robes to tumblr? they have black fur under the robes! entirely black! the white parts only go to their joints! isnt that so awesome? that part of the design is kind of a remnant from their old designs, where i still drew them with a hat. cuz they would hide the black fur and pretend it was all white. to match the mask of course. and of course now the dark fur is on display. because i decided fuck it i love drawing fluff they can be a little fluffy as a treat.

and also, if you look at older drawings, they used to have shoes. why get rid of them? 1. paws too big to fit in the shoes 2. i didnt want to draw shoes 3. i like drawing paws. fight me.

is this the most self indulgent ive ever been publically about them? maybe. but also this is my blog. and if you're as insane about rttopia as me youll take any art you can get, whether it appeals to your views or not. this is what 3 years of a special interest encompassing every single aspect of your life does to a mf. you get a chat design so far removed from the original mii its insane. and i wouldnt have it any other way. i love them like this, with all my headcanons stacked and piled so high the top cannot be seen with the naked eye. i hope in the future it gets even higher, with my designs getting more complex as more lore and love is poured into these characters, until eventually theyre unrecognizable. power of autism.

this ramble has gone on long enough and if you read it all im very thankful, have a lovely day !!! :D

[jajanvm-imbi]

Hey remember when I said that this was the most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer?

Yeah I was wrong.

The most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer is explicitly stating multiple times that I like show and then get called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate when I complain about the direction it has taken.

I LIKE the comedy

I LIKE the animation and artstyle

I LIKE the more serious plotlines like the government agents plot and the Cherubs plot

I LIKE the themes of friendship and found family

I even like most of the songs!

And ofc the voice cast slays every time

But just because your show has angst and tears and drama and sad music doesn't automatically make it "good".

Just because your characters are queer doesn't automatically make them good or well written characters

This fandom is so frustrating to deal with when you want to express your more nuanced takes of it

This is probably gonna be the last post I make about this subject and about Helluva Boss in general, this shit is too stupid to deal with

[ef-1]

Re:2022

When I think of Daniel's time at McLaren, I think the entirety of it is epitomised in the moments after the checkered flag in AD22.

Daniel gave his whole teenage and adult years to the sport and in the end he was disposed of so callously, without the finality or dignity of retirement nor the certainty of return. Instead after he sold and cultivated the popularity of the sport, after he spent his whole career hounded by cameras- he found a quiet corner on a dark track and did donuts alone to celebrate the remnants of his legacy, now literally only known to himself after his reputation was so thoroughly dismantled.

He then got out of the car and smiled at the cameras again and those wretched fucking vultures who built careers off of him asked him if he'd even fit into an f1 car if a seat was available next year and all he said in return was "I've been having trouble keeping weight", also with a smile.

[084392]

[ambagel]

I am NOT calling him Ernesto Foulsworth

[ganondoodle]

i am being so brave trying so hard to hold back writing a rant about that 'minimizing narrative noise' comment on totk sage concept art bc its actively flying around in my head like the worlds most annoying fly

[cosmocove]

some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)

[blueberrymilkcookie]

goodbye revue starlight re:live you were the worst gacha game i ever played. like actually. i cant believe i gaslit myself for 5 years into thinking this game was actually good or fun. but i still love you starira and im kinda sad youre shutting down in 13 hours because i actually have meta cards for once and now i cant use them. nevermind THIS GAME BLOWS

[flaticeball]

bit from an unfinished project i was doing a couple playoffs ago. gonna miss you buddy, minnesota won't be the same without you. see you in february when the wild come to town. hope you tear it up out there.

[s0fter-sin]

retired ghoap going on a renovation competition show

ghost takes over the budget and he's ruthless with it; tracking every paint swatch and piece of lumber down to the last cent, haggling for every purchase and making the most of their coupons. soap's in charge of design; he can visualise floor plans better than anyone, seeing the completed spaces in his mind when they’re little more than a steel shell

they run their site like a military base, treating their builders like rookies; expecting them to follow orders but also waiting for them to inevitably mess up so they can fix it

they're an immediate shock to the judges; they fully expected them to have no idea what they're doing, to have no understanding of style or trends, but they didn't sign up just for shits and giggles

they know how to hit a brief and can do physical labour faster than the actual builders. with soap's discerning eye and ghost's practically, they design gorgeous rooms and become a real threat for the prize money. they handle the stress and sleepless nights like it's second nature bc really, it is; a few all nighters painting are nothing compared to being shot at

they also take great joy in messing with the other couples

it takes a while for them to figure out they're even married; they argue like it's going out of fashion, never holding their opinions or frustrations back but it's their love language as much as their banter. you can hear them barking at each other from across the site; callsigns and “It” and “sergeant” thrown around just like in the field

the challenges are where they have the most fun

the day to day? that's work; they're strict, both with themselves and the schedule, never letting anything fall behind or go incompleted. but the challenges? that's play time. they love pushing the brief, toeing the line of the rules purely bc they can

they get to a two part art challenge and ghost's scheming before before the host even opens their mouth. part one? one half of the couple has to design some kind of art piece that will feature in their house. part two? the other person has to gather supplies and tools and make the art

there's a time limit for how long they can take to gather the supplies; once it's up, they can't go back for more and they can only use what they can carry themselves to their station. they're in a warehouse filled with scrap and paint and tools, the choices almost overwhelming

ghost politely interrupts the host to ask for a clarification; absolutely anything in the warehouse can be used so long as they can carry it?

the host confirms; anything under the roof is their's to use

ghost thanks them and steps back in line, standing at attention and waiting for round one to start

ghost volunteers to be the one to do the art, shocking everyone since soap is well known as the artist of the two of them. but soap sees the mischief in his eyes; he knows he's up to something and can't wait to see where it goes

the timer starts and ghost immediately shucks his hoodie and gets to grabbing; stuffing the impromptu bag with everything he recognises from soap's own supplies. there's seconds to go when he bolts for soap, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry

the other couples are pissed and call it cheating, trying to get them disqualified

ghost just shrugs, soap still over his shoulder, "they said we can use anything we can carry. i followed the brief"

soap just laughs like a mad man

they win the challenge by a landslide

everything's going smoothly, they've won enough room reveals that they’re in a good financial position, they’re ahead in their current room and in a great headspace

then soap gets injured

it's an honest mistake, a part of the roof they thought was stable collapsing and hitting soap

and ghost, always calm and in control, panics

he's on the other side of the site when he hears soap cry out and goes running; shoving past cameramen and builders, screaming to know what happened before he even sees him. he finds soap on the ground, blood dripping from his temple and it's too familiar; a thing he sees in his nightmares

he doesn't know what to do with all his fear so instead, he channels it into anger

he goes off on all his builders, demanding to know how they could be so useless and careless as to miss the unstable roof; screaming at them in a way he hasn't done since he was on active duty, tearing down a rookie for poor trigger management

all the while, his gentle hands tend to soap; checking the wound, if he's concussed, soothing him before he can slip into a flashback of his own. he growls at the cameras, doesn't let the onsite medics anywhere near him; he doesn't know them, doesn't trust them with his johnny. it's only soap's gentle convincing that makes him step back, that forces him to stop and breathe; glaring the medics down from soap's side as they check him and come to the same conclusion soap already reached

he'll be iust fine; a few stitches and he'll be right back in it

ghost goes with him to the hospital to get the stitches laid, abandoning the site to their terrified builders to look after. it takes a few days before he can handle them being separated again, can't even handle one of them going shopping while the other site manages

but soap doesn't begrudge him for his clinginess, not when he knows it's rooted in the fear of losing him. he just keeps him close and calls him his good luck charm when they win the room reveal that week

[kaurwreck]

you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

Team Green aren’t real. How do you not get that? How old are you? If you’re over 18, please get a refund for any education you’ve paid money for because you were terribly failed. If you’re under 18, keep up the Percy Jackson blogging and gtfo of adult spaces because you don’t have the mental capacity or intelligence to engage with ASOIAF/HOTD.

lol first ever after high and now percy jackson - if you think you’re insulting me, you’re wrong. at least those fandoms aren’t batshit insane. and at least they have READING COMPREHENSION.

how many times have i said it - team green are not real, the issues that people use them to justify and defend (eg. rape and sexism) ARE real. if you come online and defend those actions, then you agree with and support them. i don’t care what you think. i don’t care what you enjoy. if you see something in a general tag that you don’t agree with, then you FUCKING SCROLLL. and if someone (rightfully) calls you out for supporting rapists and abusers, then don’t double down and defend yourself and make excuses for those actions. i made a post - you don’t like it, SCROLLLL. do you know how many posts i see on a daily basis that i don’t agree with? i don’t leave shitty comments or hide behind an anonymous tag to insult someone. i made a post criticising the amount of people excusing and support team green and their actions and i tagged it correctly.

my god, it’s not that hard and i’ve had enough of going in circles. i hate rapists and sexists and abusers. for whatever reason, you don’t. i don’t give a shit. enjoy what you want. don’t come under my posts or on my blog and hide behind an anonymous tag to spread your bullshit, because i will respond. keep to your side and i’ll keep to mine.

[cherry-shipping]

ok so anyway. if anyone is curious abiut dreamy and their role in miles world. they r besties with him But also like a secret babysitter. because as hard as he tries He s kinda a shit hero And tbh every spiderman except like hobie (also dreamys bestie. btw) is naive as hell when it comes to heroism. theyre like crime bad always No exceptions. so dreamy works sorta from the shadows to Erm clean up after miles a bit. like. erm. bust certain so called villains out of jail bc like -_- a dude stealing baby formula from a store does Not deserve 2 go 2 prison Hello. and sometimes they team up w miles and they play incompetent and clumsy like Oh Nooo iaccidentally let the bad guy get away ���😖 like they r literally playing secret hero babysitter for his ass. instead of those “from your friendly neighborhood spiderman” notes theyd be like. “sorry lol //local villain sympathizer”. n e ways Thats their deal. in miles universe Smiles ^_^

[solstheimtxt]

Hi!!! Thank you so much for the tag @bialanwake!!! <3

OC's (+SHIPS) as tarot pairs

(on uquiz here)

Max + Felix (Two of Cups & The Star)

your romance is a wish granted, finally, finally they're here. finally *it's* here! the time where you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease. all of these are things you have found someone to share with. your love is a dreamy fantasy of love and devotion and miracles. at first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs

---

Im too lazy to tag im sorry lol if you wanna do it, do it 👁👁🔪