#THERES LIKE 3 HRS LEFT

[finn-is-in-the-house]

there is ONE GUY in the WHOLE ASS AIRPLANE who has his FUCKING WINDOW OPEN AND ITS MAKING THE WHOLE ASS ROOM LIGHTER. RRAD THE FUCKING ROOM

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[sacrificialcrisis]

people who have dinner super late...when do you sleep....

[littlebigplanet]

two more weeks of work,,,,,,,,

[jellyaibo]

TPOT 4 VOTING SPOILERS AGAIN IM SORRY

NONONO VOTE TREE NOW IM SORRY I DONT WANT HIM TO BE IN THE BOTTOM 2 OH MY GOD

[yumenosakiacademy]

persona games operate so weirdly in tht it feels pointless 2 play/watch (if u dont own a playstation/cant afford it) it when them when they 1st come out bc theres always a new n vastly improved ver tht releases jus a couple yrs later thts The Same Shit But Now With Content That Renders What You Played Obsolete. like u played p/5? welp, heres royal w entire new storylines n content tht u wont understand unless u replay whats essentially an extended ver of a game u've already played! n every1 will Only talk abt the shit tht came out in the extended ver bc it builds off of the original! but most of the story beats u played r still there n u hav 2 re-experience them as well!! :)) like at this point jus hold off until the extended ver comes out n play other games n avoid spoilers until then or w.e. keep the game off ur radar n in the back of ur mind until the Actual Version releases n u can jus play/watch tht instead.

[actualbird]

ZAK THE TOT CALL FUNCTION IS HERE

THE TOT CALL FUNCTION IS HERE AND I SPENT ON IT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT TO MYSELF AND HERE ARE MY ADVENTURES (THUS FAR) WITH IT

so i got the permanent call pack schedule for luke and used the temporary call pack for marius and god okay first off, luke's workday schedule

my boy.....my busy bee boy....

he wakes up at 5:30 for his morning jog but sleeps at 11pm??? THATS ONLY 6 HRS OF SLEEP, GO TO SLEEP MORE, YOUNG MAN!!!

is the antique shop only open (with him in it) from 12:30pm til 2pm on weekdays?? because he does his detective agency work after (my man working 3 jobs, antique shop, detective agency, nsb agent, gAH REST MORE) omg. world's tightest opening time HVKSJHFKSD

he writes in his diary for over an hour, hes so precious i Cannot do this

now, the calls: i couldnt even screencap or record anything from luke's cuz i called him THREE TIMES IN A ROW last night and he picked up Every Time and he was sO CUTE IN ALL OF THEM.

im not gonna rush through luke's calls cuz i wanna savor this schedule call pack with him but i Am excited to discover them all. a friend told me that theres around 13-18 different calls and/or voice messages and THATS A BUNCH so im taking my time with luke

marius, on the other hand, im gonna be SPEEDRUNNING TODAY because the temporary call function only lasts thiRTEEN HOURS and i was a DUMMY who activated it at 9pm when i was about to SLEEP so if luke picked up first thing every time i called him Thrice yesterday, when i first rushed to call marius i---

he diDNT PICK UP. AND I GENUINELY FEEL SO BAD FOR CALLING HIM WHILE HE WAS BUSY LIKE BBY IM SO SORRY FOR BOTHERING U DURING WORK AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

he left a really sweet voice message a few minutes after tho which helped me not panic as much but my god, im gonna be reading the schedules more clearly because i felt like Scum i felt like The Worst Person On The Planet for disturbing marius jhvsdfKLJBLKKFDSF

verdict: this is so far very worth my money, im enjoying harassing luke and am so so sorry for bothering marius

[picklewednesday]

HIIIII @maxphilippa IM RLLY SUPER DUPER SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED UR ASK. anywho super duper happy abt u coming to me abt pickle

so I'm gonna sort this by things that are like. in general abt him and things that might be useful for whatever ur writing.

general

Pickle (despite being labelled "The Idiot") is actually pretty resourceful, and very similair to Lightbulb in the sense that they both 'stumble' into solutions. For Pickle it's best seen in "Seas The Day", where he makes up a stupid plan in a second, however when he takes more than 10 seconds to think, he ends up with a plan that makes Paper really happy.

On that note, contrary to popular belief, he's very social! He can be seen numerous times hanging out with Soap and Cheesy, aside from the s1 contestants (tbf he's not been seen since Seas The Day. so.)

Even so, after S2, Pickle is honestly pretty reserved. He's seen having to build up the courage to talk about what's bothering him, and he's seen by himself throughout s2e7.

Because of this, when people actually take the time to talk or listen to him, he holds on tightly to it and listens to their advice.

He doesn't actually mind thinking about Taco when he decides to think or reminisce about her on his OWN. When it's brought up by someone else, he gets frustrated and upset about having to see or hear about her.

He gets excited very easily, but that's something very obvious about him. Its another thing that can actually be compared to Lightbulb

He seems to have issues trusting others after s1. This is also linked back to why he has so much trouble opening up, even to his closest friends.

He's also depressed!!!!! ougghagghhh my best friend ever :c

He does seem to like spending time with people. Eg. Seas The Day, The Complaint Desk comic, and the episode where he sends OJ, Bomb ans Salt off to get the tree for the team while he ans Taco hangout, when he plans picnics for both Taco and his girlfriend.

He is a SUCKERRRR for big romantic gestures. Big flirt apparently. Loves romantic things.

Applicable stuff

(stuff that MIGHT be useful but idk)

He loves water and swimming :3

He plays the saxophone!!!!! so either he knows music theory or he likes jazz and music theory can fuck off

he has a rubber duck, a book, and a seemingly unlit orange candle in this trash box so. maybe tjay could be useful idk.

he mostly plays multiplayer games, ans when hes playing alone he plays against bots :3

he draws himself as. a little blob.

if theres anything I didnt mention that you think could be helpful pls let me know!!! I'm sure I left a lot out bc I started thinking abt this on the bus like 3 hrs ago lol. a lot of this is me using his crumbs of screentime to explode with joy. if anything else comes to mind I'll immediately tell u

either way have fun!!! write him however u want he's barely ever seen anyway

[tea-and-secrets]

so me and my ex gf of 5 years had a bad breakup last year, around the end of summer. when i moved out (we lived together, like we had an entire life and friends together) i didnt tell anyone. i waited until she was visiting family, i packed up and left while they were gone. i ended up taking her cat when i moved out of state (like FAR).

*brief reference to animal neglect, none actually occurred, but, well youll see*

ive been in this cats life for the 5 years my ex and i were dating, so its not like 😺 wasnt my baby. and ive been the one primarily taking care of him for those years (for a long time i was a stay at home or worked less than 20 hrs a week to ex's 40+ hr weeks, so it made sense). once we broke up - and there were a lot of reasons why, the biggest one being the "rescue" of a bait dog, and subsequent neglectful abuse of her in the resulting weeks. i ended up working 2 jobs at 50+ hrs a week, while taking care of an ex bait dog (who had SERIOUS behavioral issues, especially around colored men, which i am), a special needs cat, and all the house/yard chores for a 2b2b - she told me to "stay the fuck away from my 😺 and 🐶"....but would be gone for days at a time, rarely being at home for more than enough time to sleep & shower & [redacted]. suffice to say these animals would have greatly suffered, maybe even died, if not for my IMMEDIATE intervention. i was already so used to caring for 😺 anyways, and i grew up rehabing strays so im used to the bites and aggression

fast forward to when I'm about to go. the 🐶 had been rehomed properly through a shelter, and no one ever found out about ex's abhorrent neglect. i know taking her 😺 was wrong, they were together for 3 years before i came into the picture . 😺 was her ESA even! when they finally noticed 😺 was gone (5 days after id left. no idea if thats how long they were gone or if that's just how long it took to notice 😒) they said they filed a police report, but nothing ever came of it. no calls, no letters, no warrant for my arrest, nothing. but i genuinely believed it saved 😺 life.

i know i made the right decision, but i still feel so guilty about it, on top of all those icky feelings from a breakup 😞

*for those wondering 😺 is doing fantastic!! he's f i n a l l y up to weight, his ibs is 100% under control, his arthritis has been successfully accommodated & no longer bothers him, and hes reliabily getting his 3x a week intestine medicine. his fur is full and luscious, his teeth get brushed 1-3x a week, his hair is brushed everytime i brush my own, same with his nails. i also keep it fucking immaculate in my apt, unlike the very...unhygienic 🤢 environment i removed him from. which is huge, he was having a LOT of issues due to that, 😺 loves that i clean the litter box every 5-9 days (if i can smell it, if he complains, i scoop it) now

not only that, but 😺has all sorts of: toys, cat nips (theres like 6 varieties?!?!), treats (wet & dry), beds, blankets, hidey-holes, tunnels, and [human] friends who love on and help me take care of 😺 if im unable. 😺 even gets supervised outside time once or twice a week (in a backpack or on a leash), which they obvs goes fuckin nuts for!

all in all, dont worry, 😺 is very loved and cared for to the point where 😺 (10ish yrs) acts like youngin now... i just still feel guilty 😭 and had to tell someone other than my therapist

.

[mlfirescaped]

ima post it here yayayaa

so i posted it on insta cuz im half active there than tumblr buuuuut i will show you the pain and struggle of me doing all 31 day themes of @ftmultislacker s cogtober thingyyy YIPPIE ight lets see how long tumblrs limit is on a single post lol/hj

fyi a majority of the things i drew are my ocs had to figure out how many r's were in the brrrgh (i literally looked it up, ttcc wiki W) anyways day 1 CHILL-Y (poor seeker out in the cold :<)

day 2 BREW okkkk lemme break down this one here, this is the FIRST EVER TIME I DREW PRESTER, AND I LIKE IT GRGRGRGR also theres a lot too look at kinda (everything is hard to see unless u zoom in IF you have shit eye sight like me :3) sooo lets point out details! bottom right is @creator-indy gushing over prester, on the far left is me, drooling over prester (cuz dilf) theres an advocate in the bg just flying bros damaged, theres a toon in the cauldron w/ paces glasses (fucking hate that guy) theres a low baller in there (o7) and a few rats, also the "stick" is a stick and totallyyy not a toon's arm!

day 3 PUMPKIN ok this one also has ig detail so ima also break it down!! toon is supposed to be my 2nd toon which ing his name is like little pepper or smth but his actual name is Peterson P. Peterson which the P means Peter soooo Peterson Peter Peterson, long name ik anyyyywayyyys!! mans holding small pumpkin HR in the background is saying "long lives the cog" lion king ref but ttcc editted!! and its HR doing that to count eclaim or whatever skinny vampire cog, yea anyways theres a backstabber eating popcorn (greatest thing i drew tbh) duck shuffler's in the bg just being himself yk cra cra in the zy zy oh and karma is in the bg too but no one gives a shit abt him cuz he is evil even tho hes just there W A T C H I N G

day 4 SWITCHED not much to say cuz my head was drawing a blank space for this theme and i didnt know what to do so i did the not original idea, which is clothing swap gl hf yk?

day 5 SHADOW uhh uhh yea me in shadows and and eyes and yea idk it is what it is

day 6 MOON its karma and dan chattin, abt what? who knows karma's probs flirting or some shit idk, dan aint buying it tho cuz he's just in it for the free drinks, i had a nice time drawin this one tho

also im doing parts since i like go to bed at 12:35am and sleep at 1am soooo i'll do a part 2 of this when i wake up

[dethl]

my neocities has been busted for a while. i vaguely know what i was attempting to do, but every time i see how i left it i just close it again

theres a template i remember finding that has basically what i want to try as far as panels go

link to above template here, but the way they set their code up is so different to how i set mine up, that im not sure its exactly compatible for me to look at and adapt anything from it

i understand the main body is 3 divs with hr dividers, but ive never been able to successfully line 3 divs up without, well, see first image (ignore how one is duplicated though that was its own test)

i guess editing the above template in mspaint to show what im after is probably the best way to go about visualizing it. something like this. with the way its laid out, i see it being really easy to add extra stuff to the sidebars if i desired

yeah i dunno. i guess im mainly just posting this in attempt to stop myself from continuing to put it off even further. but if anyone wants to look at whatever the hell state my CSS is presently in, be my guest

[superchat]

hi! i've seen you post about it a lot, could you explain nerdy girl overdose? something about anime girl doing drugs is appealing and i feel like you can explain it better than a wikipedia article

Uhm hi!!! needy girl overdose is a management game. you play as the faceless boyfriend of ame, who wants to be a streamer. the gameplay is basically deciding what activities ame should do. she has a new idea for a stream, she could really grow her view count with it. or how about a date night, shes really stressed and could use some time with you. how about the hospital? shes been falling into a dark place lately and might hurt herself. you have to balance these things and see where it takes you. theres so many endings possible that can be 30 minutes or like 2+hrs(?) each, lots of replayability

One big appeal is the overall loveletter to the internet that the game is. the localization is spot on and full of references and jokes and subcultures that is very hard to capture if you havent been around through them (very early one youll see is a RANDY YOUR STICKS reference). it goes into the parasocial relationship the develops in online spaces, having an identity or persona that seen by others. wanting to be seen and loved, how your persona can grow, and these interactions can turn toxic if left unmanaged

Another part of the game is that its very deep into the menhera subculture. its got a lot of emphasis on mental health and dealing with mental issues. ame gets depressed, or goes manic, or abuses her medication, or SH's. theres some. really really good letters she has on some of these things.

The game can get dark, not because it tries to, but just because these things are so intertwined and connected that you kind of have to have it, if you want to be as genuine as you can be. theres not really a central Point to the game, its mostly just. a loveletter to the internet, for all its goods and bads. from the sense of community and belonging that transcends physical bounds, to the destruction and toxity and abuse it can enable for the self and others, the game kind of embraces it all

Switch version has some censorship (drugs are macarons now lol, idk what other changes there are) but its there if you want accessibility to play it, its on steam too, if you're interested, id say pls check it out if you're up for it :3

this should go without saying but this game is not meant to enable self harm or abuse. as i understand, menhera is not so much about getting worse, but using imagery of dark themes with a cuter look as a way of helping to get out of bad habits. like using poison as an antidote, and thats what this game does for me a lot. the darker art and themes helps me vent in a way and holds me off from doing things. take care of yourself! be kind to yourself! dont be mean to your body. its doing the best it can.

[u3pxx]

THERES 3 HRS LEFT AND APOLLO IS STILL LOOSING THE LITTLE GUY POLL

do you think i haven't been watching it closely like a sportsfan watching the Sport rooting for their favorite Sportsman

[jello-fello]

Sorry for asking, but

Are you ever going to post on ao3 again?

ty!

yes and no? i have no intentions of posting fanfics specifically (at least RN i can say that), but id like to post original work if there was an audience interested. there's been a major genre shift in the stories i want to write now lol (Cough. slasher psychological thriller / "Is this supernatural or is it psychological" type of story)

i will say tho that i will not be finishing unfinished fics currently on my ao3 rn, sorry. it's just been too long, i'm not really in any of those fandoms currently so i'd have to like. MAJORLY refresh both the source material And my fics and i dont have the spoons desire or time to do that lol. and i will not be writing fics for BNHA ever again in general (however i think its hilarious izuku lowkey looks like a bootleg regen izuku in canon now lmfao)

however! Until we can figure out what wrong w my joints and health i'm physically unable to make any art lol. i type 8 hrs a night at work and even thats excruciatingly painful, so i kind of Especially don't feel like i can write as a hobby now

as of rn. we think its a combo of arthritis and ehlers danlos. shrug who knows.

and health and stuff aside. i am not the same person as i was when i wrote those fics. not be dramatic but im so serious lmfao. theres such a drastic shift in my mentality and beliefs and thoughts that if i were to continue those stories Now i think i would sincerely ruin them. i think the sudden shift in how i write and tell stories would just pull away from the story and i just plain dont want that, you know? and on top of it i DO NOT remember where the hell i intended for any of my fics to go or where i even left off

ALSO ALSO ALSO i've become like. obsessed with being chronically Offline. which. btw sorry if this ask was sitting for a while i have not logged in since the last time i said smth i think i sincerely do not recall

IF i did post fanfics on ao3. ngl. it'd SO be dunmeshi. Laios <3

anyways hope that answers your question and im sorry it answered like 12 other things you literally Did not ask lmfao okay bye!!!!

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[expensive-rainbows]

ok so i have this friend and i spend like literally half my school day with her and idk if weve been flirting or not. we make jokes abt like honestly really sexual things that we probably shouldnt be saying at school and theres been multiple times when our mutual friend thought we were either gonna kiss or that we were dating. shes aroace but ik that some aro people still date and that some ace people still yk wanna fuck so idk. we spend probably like 3-4 out of 7 hours a day together. we hang out before school, then like at the end of first hour (our schedules wierd) then we walk to second hour together, then we spend fourth hour, lunch, and fifth hour together, and walk to sixth hour too. i also do taekwondo and she is going to try it soon so that will be another hour at least two times a week. and i dont wanna mess up our friendship by like asking but also if she is like tryna subltly tell me something she should know better than to do that since i am impressively oblivious and rlly bad at social cues. oh and i think we almost kissed fr a few weeks ago but idk if thats js me or if it was for real yk? anyways thats my little rant.

jk theres more! i start work tmr js for a few hrs and im excited bc it seems like a good place and i think i am gonna enjoy it. plus school is almost out. theres like 18 days left i think. we almost had to do a speech for english but my teacher got it dropped, so now we have more time for the essay. also ive been actually getting better at taekwondo, obviously nowhere near as good as pretty much everyone else there since we started in december and theyve all been doing it for years. and ive been getting better at japanese, i need to get better at listening to more music in japanese though, ive been listening to music in spanish more (my first language is english, i was in spanish immersion and im working on asl and japanese on my own right now. i have a whole list of languages i want to learn some day that ill share someday) but i can order food now. i use wanikani and duolingo, and im trying out a few new apps right now. once i get better i am going to try to switch my phone to japanese, but i need to know more kanji first i think. im always open to suggestions for japanese and yk the whole thing with my friend.