#THEN i'll get those replies started
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brain is flitting from reply to reply like a drunk bumblebee so i'm gonna just. reply to whatever tickles its fancy at any given moment i think lmao
#trying to get better at just letting myself reply to things in whatever order i feel like bc that's how the words flow the easiest#but i'm also on the verge of overwhelm from the sheer amount of stuff i wanna reply to aksjdsd#boy i sure do wish i was one of those people who could write consistently & keep on top of their threads (':#instead of mentally battling myself over whether it's worth replying to anything at all bc i'll never be able to catch up#and then feeing bad for prioritizing some threads over others bc that particular thing is scratching my brain just right akjsds#UGH. w/e i just wanna write a little more before i disappear into gaming for the night#bc once i start up a game i don't think there'll be any stopping me until i crash l-lmao...#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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(For the sake of transparency: I absolutely don't mind being asked to reblog Palestinian fundraisers— I may delete messages with campaigns that aren't vetted unless I believe they're legitimate, out of caution, though
— but I seriously have less than 100 followers; I don't want to post the number, but I would feel bad if anyone was under the impression that my blog has a substantial audience. In addition, my family lives paycheck to paycheck, and we often have to borrow money/only eat once a day. So I usually can't spare anything to donate to any campaigns, but I do donate whenever it's possible.
I'm not asking for pity or attempting to stop anyone from reaching out, I just want to be completely honest and realistic with people on this subject. But regardless, I'll try to help how I can. 🙏🏻❤️)
#text#erin talks#also each time I answer an ask with a gfm publicly I get at least 2 more asks#from unvetted blogs that reuse others' photos so to be cautious I'll start replying to those asks privately
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*taps mic; a certain gentleman is standing right beside him*
"Good evenin', everyone!! We're back!! Hope you didn't miss us much!"
"It sure hasn't been that long.... has it....?"
Uhhmmm....
#[shows up late with no st*rb*cks bc fuck those guys but HIIIII 8) ]#[*insert 'haven't been here since last year joke*]#[no but fr AAAAA i'm so sorry abt the silence!! as usual depression got my ass around mid-december due to Some Stuff irl]#[from there it's been all downs and just a few ups so i've been taking it slow and trying not to let it all get to me (much)]#[anyways hi hi hi. how have y'all been doing???]#[super late but i hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season!!]#[also sending you all the best of wishes for the new year!!!]#[i might not be able to post thread replies tonight but i'll be around for a bit working on some of them]#[i think i also had some pending asks last time??? so i might try to start from there]#[dumb brain is still all BLERGH but feel free to send in stuff if you wish!]#[prompted. unprompted. random. etc. all is good]#[hope you're all having a wonderful day/night/etc!!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(????
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do people not get that it's more embarrassing to be wrong, then double down, then lash out than it is to just plain be wrong? you must have lots of patience for these pseudo-historians lol.
My secret is that I have zero patience for bad faith pseudo-historians; I just consider debunking/correcting them on my own platform an opportunity to educate others, and that is what I cultivate patience for.
#they usually double down because I've already made it clear I know they're arguing in bad faith#and any subsequent explanations aren't for them but a necessary counterweight to their bullshit#if I at any point think a certain thread is made in good faith ignorance i'll reply accordingly#but it's usually very clear when that's the case vs. bad faith bullshit that i just give no quarter from the start#i mean sometimes i'm wrong and read bad intent where there isn't - but since THOSE people are genuine they don't double down#or when they do double down at first eventually we'll get to a point where we're both like ah ok misunderstanding solved
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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STARTER CALL // HARU OKUMURA
so! i'm starting over when it comes to starters, since i was having trouble with burnout/stress and keeping track of how many i owed. hopefully, this will help me be more active going forwards. with that in mind, like this post for a haru starter??
#ooc#starter call.#i'm not starting over with threads/dropping threads that have already started though! those will still continue and i'll#hopefully get to replies as soon as i'm able#it's just starters i owe that i'm letting go of. apologies to everyone who was waiting; but i'll be posting new starter calls shortly#for those who are still interested. thank you <333
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Digimon Ghost Game ~ Hiro & Gammamon + {Tanabata}! (Japanese cultural holiday taking place on July 7th!)
#digimon ghost game#digimon: ghost game#hiro amanokawa#amanokawa hiro#hiro and gammamon#izzyizumi posts#(OK so Fun Story Time)#(Way back in 2k13 during Tanabata of that year I was very actively involved in a big 'pan-fandom' wide r.p. {role-play} game)#(This wasn't on Tumblr but it was elsewhere and Anyway so I wasn't playing from DigiAdvs at time though I did have my Koushiro he was just)#(Getting Started with my Koushiro Voice Testing & at time I was testing out other charas too & one is like Japan EmbodiedTM)#(Im Not Saying Who They Were {I had a few Similar} but anyway 2k13 was the year immediately after Grandpa on my not-Jew end passed)#(and I was close to Grandpa on that end & Grandparents in general too & Grandpas passing at time hit me *super* hard too)#(At same time. Multiple people were dropping from the rp game {it was still pretty active but} it had been slowing a bit as a result)#(So I got the idea to have my chara hold a Tanabata event post and it actually got like 1200+ comments total)#(of course half of those were replies during threads but anyway it was a surprisingly big success for me to have made that event work)#(At the time my charas 'wish' had simply been 'I hope for the remainder of the following year to be Good')#(What my Chara meant was 'I do not Need a Wish but if I have one I hope everyone elses Wishes can come true for them')#(and also 'if I must make a Wish I would Wish to not {be the only one left here} by the end of That Time')#(and my rp partner who threaded with me had their chara be like 'I'll wish for your wish to come true' & wrote it in charas 5 languages)#(They didnt Know I also meant re the rp games stability but like anyhow that event post was one of my most fun rp experiences ever)#(Fam deaths hit me super hard & I was in a very dark place at time but being able to experience that event really helped me that year)#(I probably wouldn't have kept this blog running on queue for as long if it hadn't been for things like That really helping in between)#(in general I'm really grateful cultural holidays like Tanabata still exist for Japanese people especially as I am {myself} a Jew)#(& we have our own cultural holidays & they may clash at times with Concepts but at the same time I *do* believe we can have solidarity)#(anyway im super Super Happy that if not Koushiro. *Hiro* could get a Tanabata piece because I feel it fits Hiro+Gammamon a TON too)#(Hiro would definitely be the type to be like 'I wish for the remainder of the year to be Good {for Everyone}' & Koushiro Would Too)#(but it does kind of Hit in a Certain way for Hiro+Gammamons storyline in itself Too & I'm just super grateful Hiro could get July theme)#(because if it really couldnt be Koushiro. & I wanted Koushiro for either Tanabata or Aug 1st in itself if not rainy season {June})#(Hiro was Next Best Choice & anyway This is also what I mean when I say I think cultural themes with this series should be Acknowledged)#(When They Happen in Various Official Arts or even eps INVOLVING the Chosen themselves because these are *cultural specific holidays*)
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🌸。*゚+. THIS IS A TEST POST !! This is not an actual inbox call, I just wanted to test and see how the graphic would look posted to tumblr ;; ;; Might use this when doing inbox calls and then a copy/paste text body.
With that being said-- how do people feel about a "permanent" inbox call post? Just for my own reassurance so I don't feel like I'm bothering people but don't wanna like... constantly make a new inbox call post. Basically just a list of people commenting below a post, one that maybe specifies whether people prefer random IC interactions or want asks leaning more to IC questions/ooc headcanons stuff?
I know it's silly because if we're mutuals, we shouldn't be afraid to reach out to each other, BUT !! I also know some people do not like random asks, so... it would just be for the sake of... "You have permission to send random things whenever you feel like it" but of course it's not like I'm expecting you to answer things immediately after I send them either.
But yeah, just a thought! If it seems too silly I'll just keep making individual posts each time ♡ c':
#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ#Starting to think I'm gonna just be living off inbox calls I swear gdfshjk starting replies has just been so hard for me. But I mean.#C'est la vie. Es lo que es. One day I'll finally get myself to start and then steamroll through them like a boulder rolling downhill :'D#And y'all will get pelted with activity so hard it'll be OVER for y'all. But until then. I'm just gonna keep trying other things to like#keep interactions and activity flowing in other ways even if I'm stagnant in replies ;; ;;#I'LL DO THOSE MEME STUFF AND THREAD REPLIES SOON I PROMISE I JUST-- I'm going Through It™️ and trying to GET Through It™️ first gfdhjk#Life is just curb-stomping me in the face constantly and it's like “Gurl can I catch a break please????” But she says ✨No✨ each time fdsjkd#If anything those art memes will be done soon for sure. I'll just do them on my PC instead of my ipad dgfhsjk so they'll be...#... considerably better c': and maybe that'll make up for the long wait on... literally everything dfhskj#It's also been super hot and without AC I don't wanna turn on my PC or other electronics and like... :'D y'know#boil myself alive with all the heat pumping out of my tower and my screens radiating heat sdjhkdg#I RAMBLED IN TAGS AGAIN LEMME STFU AND GO BACK TO STARING AT MY LAPTOP SCREEN VACANTLY BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY Y'ALL
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Losing my voice, but I'm heeeeere!
#[what is she getting us into now? -ooc-]#I'm not even gonna lie y'all I slept until like 1:45 or 2pm#and it was nice#So now I'm gonna try and do as many replies as I can...most likely starting with those that are in my drafts!#or I'll switch back and forth a little who knows#It's the annual January voice loss yippee.#I always lose it in January or February and then again in August for some reason-- it's been that way since high school#and it drives me up a wall#not because I can't talk#but because I can't sing and that's a tough one for me orz
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I'm okay now
#sorry to anyone who saw the post earlier#I have now eaten real food seen the sky and started a new crochet project so my anxiety is hiding in the bushes again#I'm still freaked out bc the interview is in TWO DAYS and I need to figure out if my other laptop still works so I can do the Zoom thing#but like I'll be okay#I also was so brave (replied to my prof.'s email about teaching at the college; it wasn't actually that bad)#everything scares me and my anxiety is a constant presence but I will go on as I always have#the good news is I only get one or two of those types of anxiety-driven freak outs per year#as opposed to like every other week like when I was younger#so yay progress or whatever really glad I'm not a teen anymore and all that#oracle of lore
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last night i had a dream that had something to do with reading a fic abt . well i wanna say "a haunted forest diner" but i've already written a haunted forest diner fic and it was not at all like that. anyway, it was this haunted forest diner fic in the sense that all its patrons were old forest gods of like decay and shit and in order to sneak in, you had to transform into like a deer, and apparently i was a supremely graceful jumper for a stag
but anyway i dreamt that that was a fic that i had apparently read and commented on months ago, but for w/e reason i had never read the replies to, and the author had replied that i seemed like a cool person n that they would have loved to have read some stuff i had written "but it seems you do not have any genshin works up..."
and honest to god all i could think upon reading that was literally "lol skill issue"
#and then i dreamt that i got one of those defeat the 8-12 hilichurl comms in genshin n i was like fine fine w/e#but after killing two i somehow figured out that they were not trying to kill me but instead trying to kidnap me to be their medic#and i was intrigued enough to be like 'okay' n sat down on this white blanket thing they had set aside for me#n one of my friends (don't remember who) was like 'yo you good?' n i was like 'yeah they just want me to be their medic'#n my friend looked at me suspiciously n was like 'well the comm isn't over you have six more to kill but if you need me i'll be over there'#n she pointed to where the trumpets i knew in high school (minus cody? i think?) were having sectionals under some trees#it was definitely trumpet sectionals but for whatever reason my brain decided to edit out cody So fucking True get redacted idiot#anyway so i just waited around in the warm sun untild a bunch of humanoid creatures started coming down the hill#i think they were supposed to be bosses or smth but none of them are in gnshn even tho we were def in mond or liyue by this point#and they all had different colored faces but anyway my friend was like 'THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO DEFEAT ALL THE HILICHURLS!!!'#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'#n i was like 'oh shit!!' n we started fighting them n they were really tanky but we got most of them except for the blue one#and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams#n she said that we couldn't talk long bc the blue guy was after me but she'd distract it by joining its side#and also there was like this whole subplot in between abt like uhhh exchanging love for power i think? idk i don't remember rn#i just remember that the author temporarily exchanged some of her like. goodwill or smth to buy me time to prepare for my fight#with the blue guy and so i hiding in the bathroom listened w my ear pressed against the wall as she became corrupted n then it was#my turn to fight the blue guy n i opened up the door n stuff but then i woke up :c#anyway so that was MY dream diary for today everyone leave your own recent dreams in the replies and we can have a discussion lol#花話
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it's after 3am. i've completed one reply but i'm holding on to it until ii've done a few more. i think the draft count is updated now so if you don't see yours on there pls shoot me an im because i haven't dropped anything (i'll always reach out if that's the case) so anything missed is unintentional! i'm going out tomorrow with my friends but i'll be around when i'm home :) i've done bits and pieces of other replies but my eyes need to rest now. but it's better than nothing! chat soon loves. x
also sorry i have neglected my ims! i have been trying to limit distractions lmao
#ooc ;; jade talks for england#i currently have what 12 replies... so if i can get 6 done i'll post them#the way almost half of those are aaron aka the mone i have least muse for (to the point wherethat fact's added in the DC#so i've done 1/6 lmao but have started on other drafts i guess#i could keep writing now tbh but my eyes and i need sleep
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i've been sooooo not in the writing mood it took me 3 attempts to get ONE paragraph down god i gotta get with it again
#ANY TIPS TO SOLVE WRITERS BLOCK🗣️#jk i know how to fix it i just. don't want to#i'm still on vacation this is my vacation time i am resting so hard rn#haikyuu royalty week killed me i think. impetus was a semi-comeback#now i just need to write this stupid fucking kghn vampire au ive been thinking abt for AGES#kageyama who looks like a vampire but is human and hinata who IS a vampire and tries to bond w kageyama over vampirism#but kageyama has no idea wtf he's talking about and is just confused the whole time and so is hinata until he realizes kgym's human#and so hihata starts dropping hints in a new way but kageyama is dense as a brick as doesn't get it until hinata straight up says#“dude i want to bite you and drink your blood”#to which kageyama replies “ah...... well why didn't you just say that dumbass off do whatever you want”#and hinata is honestly shocked at how easy that was. like it took 0 convincing at all. how has this guy not been mauled yet#anyways those are just the brain thoughts that have been bouncing around. don't know if i'll actually turn them into real words#the swarm
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Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.
With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.
But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."
I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.
AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:
Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor
Office Hours
Grading Policy
Assignment schedule.
Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:
December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam
If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.
If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.
If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.
I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.
This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.
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Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.
"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.
Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3
Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.
Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.
Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.
Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3
my insta: @ malusokay
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
#malusokay#girl blogger#it girl#pink blog#that girl#coquette#aesthetic#dream girl#pink pilates princess#glow up journey#glow up#mental health#self esteem#self love#self care#self improvement#loa blog#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#winter arc#dollete aesthetic#girly tumblr#just girly thoughts#girly stuff#studyspo#studyblr#study blog
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𝒥ust a bet﹕hyung line
𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ︎︎⚹︎ cw: angst, no fluff (yet), reader is mostly viewed as a loser and nerd, lowercase intended, kinda went overboard with hoon's, reader gets called a bitch once, not proofread!
sypnosis﹕after a few months of dating, you find out you were just a bet.
part two !
★ LEE HEESEUNG (wc 0.3k)
you and lee heeseung has been dating for a total of five months, and throughout those months you can confidently say that you were the happiest. he was the perfect boyfriend, his family loved you and so did yours.
today, heeseung promised he would take you on a date after his basketball practice despite your protests on how he should be resting instead. you wouldn't have agreed if it weren't for the fact that he had shot you with his pleading big doe eyes that never fails to make you agree on whatever he asks for.
so here you were, making your way towards the gymnasium with your bag hanging on your left shoulder. the lack of dribbling and smacking basketball noise from behind the closed doors told you that their practice was done.
entering quietly out of habit, you were about to approach your boyfriend when you overheard his teammates talking to him.
"don't tell me you're still with her?" asked one of boys, an amused smile on his face. heeseung only raised a brow.
"what? you won the bet, you can dump her now. you're ruining our image you know? plus she's a total nerd and loser, you're much better with someone like yunhee." and with only just a few words, you felt your world crashing down.
right, who would date someone like you? you always found it weird, that heeseung just approached you one day in your biology class with the cheekiest smile on his face. the fact that he wouldn't leave you alone until you've agreed to go on a date with him. it all made sense now, why the popular basketball captain suddenly gained interest on the school's "biggest nerd."
"speaking of.." another guy spoke, nodding towards you with a cheeky smile. heeseung turned around only to be met with your glassy eyes.
you didn't move, wanting to hear him defend you. wanting to tell his teammates that you weren't a bet and he actually liked you throughout the months you two have been dating.
his silence said everything and with that you turned away and ran out of the gym.
"shit." he muttered, running after you.
★ PARK JONGSEONG (wc 0.3k)
"i'll pick you up later, okay?" your boyfriend of almost a year said softly through the phone. you've been dating jay since the first week of your first year in uni, others found your relationship weird. maybe because back in high school, jay never and refused to even spare you a glance. he was an asshole who looked at you as if you were the epitome of disgusting.
but the past is in the past now, right?
"okay baby, see you." you reply and put your phone down on your table, knowing that he's usually the one who ends the call.
you go back to the papers scattered on your table. the silence in your room was disturbed by sudden noises in your phone, turning to look, you see that jay hasn't ended the call.
picking your phone up with a smile, you were about to call out for him but a voice stopped you.
"i can't believe you've gone this far dude." you recognized the slightly muffled voice, it was a friend of jongseong's.
"what do you mean?" your boyfriend grumbled. the audio was muffled, you figured he was moving and the phone was in his pocket.
"you're still dating her!" the voice exclaimed, as if amused. "seriously, i didn't think you'd take that bet seriously. fine you win, i'll clean your car for a month. but you've gotta cut it out, you're starting to disgust me." the boy laughed.
before you could hear what your boyfriend would say, you ended the call. your hand was trembling and tears were falling from your eyes unconsciously.
were all those months just a joke to him? were your feelings really worth a free car wash for just a month? were you that unworthy?
jay was an asshole back in high school, you thought he changed. turns out he didn't, you felt like a fool for falling for his antics.
★ SIM JAEYUN (wc 0.3k)
if someone would be asked who you were, they'd all say the same thing. a loner, pathetic loser, and a nobody with a pretty face.
because what was a pretty face if you had no friends and a social life?
you almost believed you would die alone, you were too socially awkward to make friends. so when sim jaeyun, the transferee, approached you with a warm smile and a hand outstretched for a shake, you were beyond shocked.
your relationship went from being block mates, friends, then next thing you knew you two were dating. at first you were reluctant to enter a relationship, scared that it would ruin your friendship, but he insisted you both tried. that was three months ago.
you didn't have any friends, but atleast you had jake.
jake who smiles at you as if you had carved the stars in your hands. jake who would never forget to bring your coffee every morning. he was everything you ever needed. he was it for you, you only hoped he felt the same towards you.
walking through the hallway of the school, you stopped infront of your locker only to be met with a sticky note on it.
HOW LONG CAN JAKE LAST WITH LOSER L/N?
A WEEK : 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - III
FIVE MONTHS : 卌 - I
A YEAR : II
Furrowing your brows, you stare at the note as your breathing grew heavy. It was obvious that the paper was old, it had folds and it was only stuck on your locker with a washi tape.
"what are you doing l/n? go on, cast your vote." a mocking voice said from beside you followed by a bunch of laughter. "personally, i thought he'd last a day. i guess i'll vote for five months then." then the hand went and tallied on the five months category.
"what's going on here?" upon hearing your boyfriend's voice, you fled away immediately, not wanting to face him. everytime something good happens in your life, it's always ripped away from you. jake was just like them, you were just a toy for their own entertainment.
★ PARK SUNGHOON (wc 0.5k)
"i'm sorry baby, i really am busy with practice tomorrow." your boyfriend, sunghoon, says in genuine sorry. it was the fifth time you have asked him to meet your parents, who also by the way was so desperate to meet the boy you've been dating for seven months now.
every time you ask him, he's always busy. either with practice, a project, a family matter, or whatever excuse he can come up with. but you always brush it off, knowing he means well and he really is busy as he's an athlete student.
"i'll meet them next week, okay? i promise." that's also the same thing he says everytime too, and once again, you only nod in response.
you and sunghoon met in a physics class. he was clutching his head with a frown on his face as he desperately tried to understand what the professor was going on about.
you remember clearly the way he approached you in the library, a physics book on his left hand as his right scratched his nape. "can.. i noticed- uh, can you help me with this topic?"
that was where your relationship started. you tutored him and helped him improve his grade. when he got an A on the finals, he kissed you on the lips in glee. he was taken aback by his own actions but nevertheless asked you out after.
"i love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your temple. "let me get something from my room." you hum in response as he takes his arm that was previously wrapped around you before going up to his room.
you can't help but notice the way his phone was blowing up from beside you.
you weren't the type to snoop around other people's phones, especially your boyfriend. it just felt wrong, you trusted him fully. but the way it kept ringing with text notifications, you just couldn't help it.
looking back to the stairs, you note he isn't back and there was still rummaging noises from his room.
taking his phone, you enter his passcode and read the messages from one of his group chats.
JONGSU
lol don't tell me she asked again.. em ba rrah sing
DAEHYUN
hahah when is she gonna take a hint?? 💀
JOON
you gonna blame her? hoon's been at it for months lmao
DAEHYUN
i actually can't believe he went that far, wasn't it only supposed to be for a month? 🗿
JONGSU
a week actually, but ig that bitch y/n was so easy. yk hoon likes to get his ego fed 💀💀
putting the phone down, you exhaled in disbelief. you took your bag from the floor and threw it over your shoulder and went to the door of his apartment to put your shoes back on.
"baby?" sunghoon emerged from the stairs, looking at you curiously. "you're going already?" he asked, extending an arm towards you but you slapped it away. the tears on your eyes shocking him.
"hey, hey what's wrong?" he tried again but his hand was yet again slapped away.
"i don't want to see you ever again." was the last words you uttered to him (shakily) before leaving his apartment.
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