#THEIR ONLY TRUE FREEDOM AS OF NOW LIES IN DEATH AND IT MAKES ME SO UPSET

[infizero]

kris deltarune suicide

[spacerockfloater]

Alicent and Criston have every right to be together.

I’ve read a lot of posts regarding their non-existent hypocrisy and I’d like to clear some things up.

First and foremost, stop using Alicent’s “Where is duty, where is sacrifice?” line against her or Nyra’s outrageous “Exhausting, wasn’t it?” speech because you think you’re eating when you’re, in fact, starving. Alicent has done her duty and sacrificed herself. It’s the only thing she’s been doing for the past 20 years. She gave the man she was forced to marry four children and she took care of him despite all the shit he put her through. She has lived all her life based on her principles and now her husband is gone. She mourned him, she buried him, it’s been more than 10 days since his death (confirmed that E1 S2 takes place 10 days after Lucerys’ death) and she is finally fucking free. She deserves a sliver of comfort. Alicent is the only one in this series that’s been faithful and dutiful to a T, yet look where that got her. If someone has the right to break the law a little bit, it’s definitely her.

That being said, I don’t know when it was decided that Alicent is a pious saint that can do no wrong, but I need to remind y’all that following a religion does not magically prevent you from sinning. Is she committing fornication? Obviously. However, you are all under this impression that this is hypocritical on her behalf because she berated Rhaenyra for it when they were younger, without considering that her anger was justified for a myriad of other reasons, such as (but not limited to): 1) the fact that Rhaenyra’s freedom to marry whomever she pleased was a privilege granted to her thanks to Alicent’s efforts, who supported her even if Rhaenyra hated her, yet her friend casually threw that away, 2) the fact that Rhaenyra lied to her by swearing on her morher’s grave and never even mentioned Criston, 3) the fact that Rhaenyra had the guts to call her “sister” while lying to her face, 4) the fact that her lies resulted in Otto getting fired since Rhaenyra misled Alicent so that she speaks to Viserys in favour of her friend and betraying her own father by siding against him (a decision she wouldn’t have made if she knew the truth), leaving her completely alone and friendless at court, even if he was right all along and finally 5) the fact that Rhaenyra is the most sought after bachelorette in the whole world and by having sex she undermines herself (Rhaenyra knows this well, hence why she denies these accusations) and literally endangers herself, because had she been married to any other man but Laenor and had this man found out his wife and future queen is not a virgin, imagine the fucking horrors she could have been subjected to. Like, I hate to break it to you, but a 40-year-old widow, who’s had four kids and has completed her duty to the point where she is actually no longer needed and could leave the palace to go live the rest of her life in peace somewhere else and no one would notice her absence (literally though, she has birthed heirs, her husband is dead, her son is a grown adult king, her job is done there), having sex, is not the same as an 18-year-old princess and future heir in her prime, whose purity is linked to her worth, getting caught drunk in a brothel, hooking up with her uncle and losing her virginity to her guard, all in one night. Viserys himself was outraged. There’s lows and then there’s lows, y’all.

By the way, the crazy assumptions that Alicent has been cheating on Viserys with Criston for a while now need to stop. When Olivia Cooke said that they had filmed a messy sex scene with Fabien Frankel in a recent interview, she never said this was for S1 of HOTD. I don’t know where y’all got that from, but even if it was true, that scene has been scrapped so it is not canon. And don’t make me laugh about Daeron, a dragon rider who canonically has Valyrian features, potentially having brown hair. You’re all so blinded by your hatred for Alicent that you want her to be a lying hypocrite in order to make yourselves feel better about Rhaenyra’s mishaps, that you don’t get that the whole point of her and Criston getting physical is that she is a tortured woman who is finally able to break free, not that she has been a hypocrite all along. You’re heavily misunderstanding her arc.

Finally, when it comes to my good man Criston, y’all have lost it completely. No, Alicent is not raping him, unless he tells her to stop and she closes the door behind her like Rhaenyra did that is. No, Criston did not lie about how important his honour is to him. There’s a whole article on how Clare Kilner, the director of E4 S1, decided that Cole removing his armour slowly was necessary because it symbolises his inner conflict and uncertainty over breaking his vow: should he soil his cloak for the sake of the woman he loves? And he does soil it, because he thinks she loves him back. But that honourable man dies the day Rhaenyra tells him that he’ll never be anything more than a side piece to her. This man stops giving a flying fuck about his honour, oath, position and life. He is trying to kill himself. And you know what stops him? Alicent. Alicent is the only thing between him and death, the only person to show him kindness and understanding, to pull him up from the lowest point in his life. I don’t think you heard Alicent in E7 S1: “No, you’re sworn to me!”. Y’all. His life is hers. He doesn’t care about Rhaenyra, his job, Viserys, anyone else at this point. Only Alicent exists in his mind, Fabien himself has said time and time again that his loyalty to her is unwavering. He only exists for Alicent’s sake. He’s who you wish Daemon was. Crying that “Criston is a bad knight and a liar because he broke his chastity oath yet again!” is so pointless because that knight has been dead since Rhaenyra’s marriage to Laenor. What does an oath mean when you find out the people you swore it to have betrayed you? Why should he keep his promise to the people who abused him?

[bu-blegh-ost]

Let's analyze Captain Rose's final message (ep. 113 spoilers!!!)

I have transcribed the entire thing into my notes, and there are few parts that I believe give us some subtle hints to important lore bits. So let's take a look at these fragments, shall we?

"Even with the Emperor’s gracious accommodations, I can never feel at ease unless I’m sleeping on the sea. Tomorrow, we depart this beautiful country for one last ride."

Nothing that crazy here, but now we have a better grasp at the timeline. So this confirms, that the last place Black Rose Pirates have been to, before they departed for the final adventure led by Hendrix's map was Onowa Country, and judging by what comes next, the chest was also created and left there during that last stay.

"But…if you’re hearing this, it means we all died."

If you recall, Drey mentioned few episodes back, that thier final excursion was of little significance, barely worth remebering. But here Rose is, about to embark on it, his last adventure before he retires, and he believes that he's going to die. That they all are. Rose must have hidden the true importance of this adventure from the rest of his crew. He KNEW that it's very likely they are not coming back from it, he KNEW he is not actually retiring. So, the question is, did Rose truly meant to leave life at sea for his wife and children, or did he chose to retire cause he knew he was about to die and he needed an excuse, to tie all the loose ends before he goes without alarming anyone?

"Even so, freedom can look so different for the individual. Not every pirate’s gonna play fair. I’ve been prepping for this moment a long time. The day I’d be outmaneuvered."

Something happened to Rose before that. If you ask me, something must have been put on Rose. A spell? A deal perhaps? Something must have happened between Rose and Hendrix (I can't be sure it was him ofc, but I feel like it is pretty obvious at this point). The map he gave him was a final retirement gift. Whatever happened, Hendrix surely did or offered something that made Rose unable to refuse the last adventure. Rose was forced to open the Hole in the Sea. He was forced to attempt to free the Nameless Prince, and he knew, he is bringing his crew to possible death. He knew they may not make it out of the sea in time, before whatever he had to do takes effects, before the sea turns black. I don't believe he would do this if he could find another way. This line makes me feel like he was tricked, finally cornered by Hendrix. It would also make sense why Rose never listened to Finn's warnings when he told him abt Hendrix hiding his true arcane ability. It's possible he knew already. It's possible he was already chained by it.

"Now I fear, we’ll be remembered for something we didn’t do."

The hole in the sea. The one thing people always mention when Black Rose pirates are concerned. He was right. But it only proves, that Rose in this entire game was a tool. Just a person forced to do another's bidding, to be at the right place, at the right time. A sacrifice, but not a player. Niklaus told Chip it was Rose who opened the Hole in the Sea. And he was right, kinda. TECHNICALLY it was Rose. But he was not acting of his free will. He was forced to do it. And who made him? Well, probably the one person who knows that it was him.

"Anyways, I think I should have cared about how my friends would remember me. My family…"

A beautiful comparison between Chip and Rose. Rose sought fullfillment, legacy, Chip sought to recreate his childhood, but they both realised that what they always wanted in the end was family. Rose realized it too late, Chip did so on time. And he did manage to create a family he can feel content about, be proud of. Rose's story is a reminder for him, of how things could have ended.

"If my wife is still alive, tell her, tell our child, her child, I’m sorry."

Rose left Onowa knowing he will not retire. He knew he lied to his wife when he told her that he'll raise their child with her. Did he ever mean it? Did he know that he is doomed from the start, or was there a true intention of going back to her, before Hendrix came and his fate was sealed? Also, that makes me think that Reuben is not Rose's biological son. "OUR child" refers to the kid they had together, "HER child" might refer only to his wife's son, to Reuben. Still, he must have cared for him enough to decide that he also deserved apology.

"Thanks for coming to look for us. I knew you would.

Take care, Chip. "

I wonder if he actually knew. Could Hendrix promise him that Chip would be saved? He didn't seem to expect anyone else to make it, so it's possible that either Chip was supposed to play a special role in some way, or maybe he already did, or he was guaranteed to make it out alive regardless of the circumstances to make the journey he is on now. That could mean that Riptide Pirates were truly always destined to meet.

Okay, that will be most of my thoughts! Feel free to share yours!

[clare-875]

Until The End (Levi x Reader)- Chapter 32

[Betrayal]

_____ A/N: Posted on Wattpad (@CLARE_875) but also decided to post here :)

Summary: "You can push me away, but I will still fight by you, and I will still follow you… until the end."

The ever-so-stoic Levi Ackerman has only ever known the terrors that living in a cruel world could bring. This all changed one fateful day when he encountered [y/n]; a girl renowned for her looks and abnormal speed. As they escape the confines of the Underground together, they soon discover that freedom doesn't come easy in a world full of Titans. As they rise through the ranks, [y/n] becomes known as "Humanity's Angel", a beacon of hope to humanity as she melts the walls Levi had built around his heart. However, she has her secrets too, and a dark past that might just threaten to pull them apart.

The storyline and characters of Attack on Titan do NOT belong to me, but all to Hajime Isayama; however, I do own this story, and all that occurs disparate to that storyline.

[Series Masterlist] [Chapter Thirty-One] <--> [Chapter Thirty-Three] _____

A/N: This is a long chapter sorry, but we're almost at the final fight!! (Warnings: Descriptions of Injury, Blood, Death, Canonical Violence)

You were deep in a forest, but now you were surrounded by more of your allies... or at least you hoped you could call them that. You, Hange, Pieck and Magath had come up with a plan and with it, you were able to make contact with Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie. You had also saved Onyankopon and Yelena from certain death at the hands of the Jaegerists for having been devoted to Zeke's Euthanization plan over Eren's idea of freedom: the Rumbling. Porco and Gabi, the two kids that had been on the blimp after your raid were also present along with Reiner and Annie. It was a strange group, to say the least. A heavy history was evident with the dense air that filled your lungs, and tensions were high. You had all betrayed, cared for, or grown to hate the individuals around you, for reasons that saw no end. Killing comrades. Innumerable lies. Internal and heinous loathing. And somehow, you would have to work together. 

You lay against the sled Levi slept in watching as you all glared at each other. Only the sound of Hange slicing potatoes reached the air as they chucked ingredients into a pot above the fire, the bubbling stew and crackling of flames doing nothing to ease the suspense. "Wanna stop glaring at each other and lend me a hand?" Hange speaks up as you watch Jean, Armin, Mikasa and Connie stand tensely in the low-lit opening among the trees. "Sharing a meal with enemies of war, huh?" Magath speaks up voicing the irony of the situation; in the end, those we despised became our greatest reliance. "I'm curious: What changed your mind?" The man continues to speak sitting in front of Pieck who is still in her Titan form. "If you let Eren succeed, you'll get your ideal world- a paradise for island devils. We would've stopped Eren and Zeke from coming into contact had you guys not helped them." 

Hange looks darkly to the fire at Magath's words, speaking bluntly. "I already explained, General. We don't wish for genocide. Otherwise, we wouldn't be hiding in the forest making stew." Magath responds with the same dull tone. "Finally found a sense of justice huh?" Jean's eyes are now turned sharply to the General. "Justice? You wanna talk to us about justice?" His face has deadly intent as he points to the man accusingly. "You think we're devils for fighting off the Titans that you sent?! Listen, we fought our asses off 'cause we didn't wanna get eaten alive! Does that sound like devils to you, buddy?!" Magath simply drinks from a bottle of alcohol that lies in his grasp barely meeting eyes with the approaching man. 

"Yeah, you seem like devils to me. The threat of Paradis came true and now the world's in danger. This is where all your fighting got you. Am I wrong?" There is a brief silence as you see three of your squad members look sharply at the man and Jean speaks up once more. "If not for the wall falling and Eren having to see his mother get eaten alive, he wouldn't have done this!" Jean's voice rises in volume, escalating in blatant irritation at Magath's terse words. 

"You made him use the rumbling!!" 

"You wanna talk history, do you? You know that Marley was tyrannised and devastated by Eldia first, right?" 

"Still playing the victim after 2000 years?" 

"It's like I'm talking to children. The island's suffering is a joke compared to 2000 years of tragic history." 

"Excuse me?" 

Hange finally interrupts the back and forth between the two, stirring the stew tiredly. "C'mon, that's enough." They say not looking up from their concoction. "It's silly to talk about the past when none of us were there... Jean, the general has trouble understanding us. We're weird devils who would give up our paradise to help the very world that wants to exterminate us. For a few months, we lived in the outside world. We can't go back to being ignorant island devils." You remember back to more than a year ago when you all went to Marely. Despite the tragic events that followed, namely Eren's disappearance, it was a fond memory, but an enlightening one. You had seen it all before when you had been kidnapped by Zeke, but then your squad had also seen what being Eldian was like on Marley's territory. You watch Jean and Magath finally turn away from each other in resignation at Hange's shaded words. 

"So, you can kill him?" 

Annie's voice fills the air, one you haven't heard in over four years. Your squad members tense further at her sudden voice and the intent behind her words. "Can you kill Eren?" Mikasa stares at the girl who simply stares back challengingly before she speaks. "There's other ways to stop him." Annie shakes her head looking at the raven-haired girl. "I figured you'd say that. What then? Talk him out of it? You think you can change the mind of someone slaughtering humanity?" You watch as Armin's eyes churn in unrest as he replies. "We won't know unless we talk to him." 

"Let's say you can't convince him and he won't stop the rumbling. What then?" Annie interrupts. "Can't answer 'cause you can't think of him as an enemy?" There is a long silence as your squad members now avoid eye contact, conflict clear in their downcast eyes. Annie sighed looking away at their expressions. She found herself disappointed but unsurprised. "I knew it. If the rest of us from Marley try to kill Eren, you guys will end up fighting us to protect him, guaranteed... Isn't that right, Mikasa?" The woman in front of Annie still looks downward, as she closes her eyes at Annie's words. "You can't even imagine anything being more important to you than Eren." Suddenly the air is sharp and before you know it Mikasa has unsheathed both her swords, now looking to Annie sharply. Connie and Armin flinch at the rash movement and sudden change of tension.  

"So wanna get rid of me?! Mikasa shouts out looking to Annie, a turmoil of emotions evident in her eyes. But Annie barely flinches, merely bringing her hand forward to show her ring and flicking it to reveal a sharp edge, intent on transforming into her Titan, the same deadly look in her eyes. Hange looks between them in shock as Magath's stern voice calls Annie's name, and Gabi and Porco look on at the escalated scene. You simply watch tensely as Annie puts her hand back down slowly and speaks in her usual calm tone but with a surprising tint of empathy. "I understand that feeling. I wanna stop Eren for one reason: so my father in Marley doesn't die. That's why I need your help. If you can change Eren's mind all the better. But until you try, we shouldn't be fighting."  A long silence takes over until Mikasa finally releases her tense stance and sheathes her swords. 

"Fine." 

She turns away, and the tension sightly subsides into the night as the sound of Hange clanking the side of the pot breaks the silence. 

"Alright, alright! The stew's ready, so let's eat!" 

..... 

The morning rose steadily among the horizon as you stretched your limbs gently. The previous night had been a mixture of tension and disaster, to say the least, but you remained unsurprised. What could be expected of a dinner shared upon enemies, history and hatred? Everyone's regretful pasts were voiced in the dark of the night, grief and despair clouded your senses along with the knowledge of Eren's looming destructions. It ended with Jean punching Reiner relentlessly after Jean's prior best friend Marco had been brought up, who had been essentially murdered at the hands of Reiner and Annie. Then, Falco and Gabi begged Jean for forgiveness and our help, only for him to leave somewhere in the dense forest. You let out a deep sigh. You wanted to say that the history that remained and the hatred that brimmed in the air should be pushed aside; unimportant among Eren's goal to exterminate humanity. But... it was hard to do so, even for you. 

Annie: she had killed your squad; Petra, Eld, Oulo, Gunther. 

Reiner: He and Bertholdt had caused so much death among the Scouts. Their betrayal had ruined you all, including being the result of Eren's hatred of the Titans.

Magath and Pieck: Blatantly a part of the enemy, resulting in the loss of so many comrades.

Gabi and Falco: Though kids, had been the cause of Sasha's death, a woman who had been through it all with you and your squad.

Yelena: Though she had been an asset to you and the Scouts, you just found out yesterday that she was actually Marleyan. Her loyalties were strong with Zeke, so much so that she did not even reveal these facts or the details of Zeke's Euthanization plan to Onyankopon. She had also been the one who taught Eren about the mainland, which was no doubt knowledge that would be an asset to him now.

Not to mention that Marley and its people were the root cause of the Titans you had fought for so much of your life. 

There was so much uncertainty aimed at those around you and the sickling feeling came with the absence of the true necessity: trust. You feel its unmistakable scarcity in the air as uncertainty is also aimed at you, at your squad, at Hange, all the same. You all sit on mountains of corpses who have died by your hands. You have killed those you can scarcely put a name to, and you have killed comrades as you did your adversaries, all to survive another day. The distrust looms and weighs you all down, forcing you all to have to fight through its claws so you have the will to work together and fight against Eren. If your judgment becomes clouded alongside your subordinates, nothing will get done. You shake your head. You would have to push back the scorching guilt and push away the gnawing scepticism... for humanity. 

You are wretched from your momentary thoughts and your eyes flicker up when you see movement among the trees, only to see that Jean has finally returned to the camp. You watch but he barely pays any mind to anyone else and instead approaches Gabi and Falco who were fast asleep, no doubt tired after the night's drama, they were still only kids after all. He gently shakes them awake and you can see the surprise in Gabi's movements as she rises from her makeshift bed. "It's time to leave," Jean mutters as Falco also sits up noticing his presence. "You're going to help us?" Gabi's voice is masked with surprise as she looks up to the man who had seemingly dismissed her pleas for help just last night, but Jean's face is shrouded with grim determination. "Yeah, of course."  

You can't help the small smile that reaches your face at Jean's words and actions. He was always striving to be the better man, though you see his turmoil and his want to block out all that is happening around him. Still, he offers himself to the enemy; to the girl that killed Sasha. You watch as he then walks over to Reiner who had passed out on the spot when Jean had beaten him ruthlessly last night. Jean brings the man up to his face, aggressively forcing the man awake. "Hey! Get your ass up, Reiner! Your injuries healed a long time ago!" Jean's voice echoes through the forest, obviously not yet able to forgive the man. Despite his shouts, it was a laughably serene morning even as everyone knew the devastation of the rumbling that awaited elsewhere. 

You turn to Levi who is still sleeping on the sled listening to the sounds of Hange and your squad getting carts ready with the few horses you had. You were aiming to get to the port, and it would take several hours to do so. There, you hoped to find an airship, owned by the Azumabitos, take it, and somehow find Eren. Levi stirs slightly under your light caress of his face and the sound of Jean shouting in the background. "Tch, so damn loud." He murmurs as you gently smile once his one eye opens, revealing a glare that peaks from underneath the bandages concealing his face. He then turns to you and clasps the hand that holds his face gently, expression warming as his gaze meets yours. You lean forward and carefully kiss his cheek while he looks at you fondly. "Ready?" You softly utter as he nods grimly, keeping your gaze. 

..... 

"I never imagined Floch would take action this quickly." Hange's voice rings through from next to you as you can't help but agree. It had taken about five hours to get to the port and now you, Hange and Magath look down to the port from a slight distance hiding yourselves in the rocky terrain. There were numerous Jaegerists present and they had seemingly taken over, the Azumabito's airship guarded heavily. You speak up in suspicion as you look at the airship. "It's over if the Jaegerists destroy the flying boat. So why haven't they?" You ask turning to the two next to you. "Beats me," Hange says from next to you sighing heavily. "They probably doubt we're still around, let alone trying to stop Eren." Their gaze turns to Magath who had been staring through a monocular as they continue to voice their thoughts.

"It's easy enough to destroy it. But it'll take decades to restore the tech with most of the world gone. Plus they'll want to ensure the mainland is empty. I think the reason they're here is to capture the Azumabito with all their boats and stuff. But the moment they realise we're here at the port, they'll blast the flying boat into smithereens. Preventing that will be difficult, even with some of the Nine." You look further down to see your squad, Pieck, Annie and Reiner gearing up. It was true that you had Titans in your power - the Armoured Titan, Colossal Titan, Female Titan, Jaw Titan - but it would be tough masking your presence in a place crowded by Jaegerists. "But if we can't manage this much we'll never take down the Founder." Magath begins to speak up and turns away. "Let's begin to-" He is cut off as he turns and both your eyes and Hange's eyes widen as you straighten up stiffly at the sight in front of you. 

Titans. 

Hundreds upon Hundreds of Titans. 

Steaming... as they cross the ocean. 

Your eyes quickly meet Hange's whose face turns from shock to grim realisation. You quickly jump down from the heightened position you were in and slide down the side of the rocky mountain with Hange and Magath. You can hear the slightly loud voices of your team down below debating whether they should take part in the plan or not because as you suspected, the only way to retrieve the flying boat would be to kill the Jaegerists. Jaegerists that were once the Scouts you all fought with, ate with, and trained with. "I have no intention of spectating." It was Hange who spoke up first as you three landed back on the ground facing your squad as their eyes flickered to you. "After all, I've killed four Jaegerists already." Their face is of harsh determination, no doubt remembering having killed the pursuers that had been after you and Levi. 

"Besides humanity doesn't have much time left. I saw Titans crossing the sea, giving off tons of steam. Judging by their speed, they've probably set foot on Marley. I'm sure the closest cities in the northeast are already destroyed." Your frown deepens at the bleakness of the situation. "Who knew they'd cross the sea so quickly? Just how many have died thus far?" Magath moves with Hange's words, he pushes past Onyankopon and approaches Yelena, a dark look adorning his face as you watch stiffly. He then reaches out pushing his hand forcefully into her face and grabbing her hand with another. Dangerous sparks fill his eyes as his leg pushes harshly against her arm whilst Yelena tries and fails to push against him, her voice muffled by his hand. "Tell us where Eren Jaeger is headed!" Magath's movements get harsher as he threatens the woman whose eyes are filled with a look not unlike fear. 

"Talk or I'll give you another elbow to bend!" You hear the sickening crush of bones as Yelena's eyes fill with tears, struggling against the man as he breaks her left arm under the weight of his foot. "Magath!" You yell out watching Yelena's movement grow wilder with the harshness of his movements. Magath finally releases his hold on Yelena at the sound of your voice but the deadly glint in his eyes does nothing to falter, Levi also stirs slightly as his eye looks to the commotion. "Don't be scared. I won't kill you." Magath says darkly looking down to Yelena who breaths harshly but somehow maintains the expression on her face. "That's a relief... I change my mind. I don't wanna die till I see how this ends." Yelena leans heavily against the rock wall behind her as we approach watching a single tear stream down her face. "If you take me with you, I might just say where Eren is headed." 

Hange grabs Magath's shoulder tightly, eyes tense. "Securing the boat comes first," they say to him as Onyankopon also approaches. You almost feel bad for the man. Yelena had kept him in the dark about a lot of the truths, no doubt severing the bond that they seemingly used to share. His eyes spark but he keeps his emotions at bay as he also speaks up. "We don't have time to torture her." Magath eyes flicker as you see his expression change, as though something dawned on him. He then faces your squad. "Connie, Armin, Mikasa, Jean... I want to apologize for my behaviour last night. We... were wrong. I was foolish to bring up justice. Disgusting as it is, I was desperately trying to justify my actions. I feared to look at myself and see I'd become as vile as Marley. None of you are to blame. It's wrong to make you bear the sins of the past due to your race." Your squad can barely hide their surprise as he then turns to the rest present. 

"Piek, Annie, Reiner... You shouldn't have to endure the world's hatred your whole life, either. However, it's our duty to remember this stupid, bloodstained history and teach it to future generations." His gaze meets your squad once more as he continues. "Eren Jaeger wants to eradicate everything, and that's unforgivable. This hell won't end until we turn away from all of this senseless killing." Then he bows deeply to you all eyes tightly shut, causing Gabi and Falco to look on in shock from above. "But... please... Just this once, look the other way until this senseless bloodshed is over." A long, deep silence takes over where no one seems to move. You watch as your squad members look at the sight of their supposed enemy bow in their apology. Then, Armin speaks up. 

"I refuse... I won't stand by with clean hands." 

When Magath looks up once more, his face is now the one contorted into surprise. 

We would fight, even if it meant our hands were stained with the blood of our comrades. 

..... 

We knew that Kiyomi Azumabito was likely held hostage by Flock. Thus, the plan would commence with Armin and Connie first riding upon horses and yelling out to him as a distraction. Hopefully, Flock would take the bait and reveal himself. Armin would then lead him to believe that they had been chasing the Cart Titan all this time, now escaping with the Armoured Titan. If all went well this lie would prompt the need for the flying boat with the Azumabito mechanics required to prepare the airship.

However, as you hear Flock's voice echoing in the air you know all hadn't gone to plan. 

"Enemy attack! Mikasa, Armin and Connie have betrayed Eldia! Kill them!" 

You hear an explosion knowing that the Jaegerists have started their attack. Meeting Mikasa who has the Azumabitos with her you point your gun at the approaching Jaegerists killing them all swiftly. Magath and Hange stand behind you, with grim expressions on their faces. Magath yells out to us quickly harsh tone in his voice. "Follow me if you want to live!" You drag the Azumabitos away from the approaching explosions running with the rest as you go down to the basement of the building you were in. You hear the Jaegerists yelling in pursuit of you all, and you respond, killing them all. You force yourself not to recognise the faces of those with bullet holes now ingrained in their temples, you force yourself to keep going. 

When you finally reach the basement, Mikasa and Hange quickly block off the entrance, while you react to the small number of Jaegerists present. You watch as their eyes look up to you in shock, no doubt assuming that after your and Levi's disappearance, you were dead. You let out a yell as you move quickly, speed unmatched as the ten or so Jaegerists present are dead by your own hands, falling before they even realise they were dead. You breathe out biting down on your teeth harshly trying to ignore the blood that now seeps into your clothes. Another explosion goes off near a window that looks down to the basement and heavy black smoke fills the air. "We're sitting ducks here! They'll kill us one by one!" You hear Kiyomi yell out as she tries to escape the smoke around her. Magath however responds sharply dismissing her worry. "It's fine! If we're in a safe place, the others can let loose." 

As though responding to the implications of what Magath voices, a bright gold glow suddenly soaks the window replacing the dark smoke. You hear the rumble of two simultaneous transformations and feel the trembling of the ground. Annie and Reiner no doubt changed into their Titan forms and joined the fight. You can only stand with Magath, killing any Jaegerists that come too close through the above window, praying that Connie and Armin are somehow still alive and able to keep the flying boat safe from destruction. Your mind is elsewhere as you continue to use the guns in your possession, thoughts only breaking loose when you turn back to see Hange's haunted expression and hear their shocked voice. "J-just now... What did you say?" You look back behind them and see the Azumabito Mechanics a wary expression on their face as you realise, they have been conversing. 

"That it usually takes us a whole day to service the boat before it can fly. But with the right equipment, we could shave it down to half a day." 

Your eyes turn sharp, your heart hammering against your chest at the implications as your gun falls slack at your side. "Half a day?" You ask in disbelief. "You want us to hold off the enemy for that long?" Magath looks on grimly agreeing with your words. "They're gonna be throwing reinforcements at us. We're supposed to defend the port when our Titans only last a few hours?" Hange has cold sweat that runs down their face, expression full of dark understanding. "We didn't make it." They say in response to you and Magath's words. "The rumbling moves faster than a galloping horse. Plus, they plough through all obstacles. In half a day, they'll raze something like 600 kilometres past the coast. For them to flatten the entire continent will take... just four days." The Azumabitos now also turn to Hange, morbid look dictating their faces. 

"Even if all goes right and we do stop Eren... it'll already be too late... for Liberio." Your mind quickly flashes back to just over a year ago, remembering the time you spent in Marley with the squad, as you grit your teeth. "Dammit," Jean mutters darkly from next to you no doubt also remembering. It was also home to Zeke, Annie, Gabi and Falco; the place they wished to protect the most. "Even if we do get it to fly, we don't know Eren's location," Magath speaks, baring a harrowing look in his eyes. "That'll add more time. It's not like we can defend the port that long to begin with. It's just not..." He drifts off no doubt in despair but Kiyomi now speaks interrupting his rambling. 

"I have an idea." 

..... 

You run behind the Azumabito Mechanics, Hange having left to inform Mikasa of the new plan and Jean leaving to notify Levi and the rest of our group. Kiyomi Azumabito had offered the final glimmer of hope and the final chance at escape. The plan was to go to Odiha, a coastal city south of Marley and tow the flying boat there after securing a boat. There, services could be serviced, but as a coastal city, it is likely to be flattened soon, prompting the need for efficiency. You look up noticing Flock and a group of Jaegerists have spotted you. You grit your teeth turning to Magath who runs next to you. "Magath, I'm gonna deal with them, continue on!" You don't wait for a reply as you use your ODM gear to approach the Jaegerists who ready their guns to kill the mechanics. You let out a yell as you kick one in the chest unsheathing your swords and slicing several dead.

Flock grits his teeth meeting your eyes. "Captain! You damn traitor!" He yells out at you as you dodge his bullets grabbing a Jaegerist and causing Flock to shoot him before you drop the man in your grasp and continue, kicking and killing more of the Jaegerists. You watch as Reiner enters the fray along with Mikasa and Hange flying behind you, helping to rid of the pursuers. You then see Jean enter, thunder spears in his grasp as he also assists, all of your forces now going to the protection of the mechanics who run frantically below you all. You watch as the Jaegerists change direction towards the flying ship and boats, Reiner and Annie follow as explosions echo through the air at their descent, catching on to our plan of leaving and servicing the airship on land. The bright glow from thunder spears reaches your eyes whilst you rid of the enemy watching as Reiner and Annie are hit with countless rounds of blasts.

You finally land on a rooftop joining Mikasa and Hange taking a sharp intake of breath. Luckily the Azumabitos had made it to the ship safely and you knew Pieck should be approaching to put Levi, Onyankopon, Yelena, Gabi and Falco on the ship soon after. Your attention is diverged when Hange turns to you both quickly. "Reinforcements!" You look down, noticing a train approaching the port, no doubt with countless more Jaegerists inside. "Unless we do something about 'em we'll be dying instead of leaving." Just as the three of you are about to react to the impending situation, suddenly the train is lit up in flames, and just as soon as the threat has come, it has disappeared. "The entire train of reinforcements..." You mutter watching as it is blown to pieces. You have no time to bask in relief however as you notice Reiner and Annie's dreadful and torn forms, Connie coming out of the blue in the nick of time to save them from their deaths.

You move with Mikasa approaching the Jaegerists who turn their guns to Connie. Pieck now approaches you appearing from within a building and notifying you that Levi is now safe on the ship. Flock appears cornered as reinforcements are reduced to bones, more Titans appear and we continue to kill our prior comrades. You can barely think straight anymore but you never hesitate, punching another Jaegerist in the face before retrieving a sword and slicing their middle. A woman cries before her voice is silenced within a second at your swift movements watching her terror fade with the glimmer of life in her eyes. You run across buildings, blood seeping through your skin, swords now tainted with death. Suddenly, a new glow fills the port and your eyes turn sharply witnessing another Titan transformation. Is that...?

Sure enough, Falco had now transformed into the Jaw Titan... for the first time. His sharp claws tear away at the enemy and he has a wild look in his eyes. His growl fills the air but you respond with haste calling to your squad members and Hange. "Now! They broke formation!" You yell out as the Jaegerists scramble under the presence of Falco. Everyone shouts out in response fighting and pushing through the Jaegerists to get to the boat. That is until you see Flock rise from out of nowhere, Thunder Spear in hand as he readies the weapon, aiming at the ship below. Your heart stops at the sight. ‘No... Levi...’. You're about to react but are beaten to the punch when suddenly a bullet shot rings through the air hitting Flock and causing him to fall to the ocean, the Thunder Spear in his grasp instead landing in the waves next to the boat.

It was Gabi who holds the gun.

You are only broken out of your brief shock when you see Falco attack Pieck suddenly. You react, seeing the way she struggles under Falco's Titan and is unmoving. Moving swiftly, you use his focus on Pieck to slice through his nape swiftly, using your years of training and knowledge to rip him out safely. You gently pull the boy up as Magath looks up at you in relief and nods in thanks seeing the boy unharmed. "You're alright Falco, you did well." The man speaks as he joins your side and takes him from your grasp. Pieck's Titan eyes look to you, a somewhat grateful look in her eyes as you turn away swiftly, in pursuit of more Jaegerists so you are all able to approach the ship safely.

.....

When you reach the ship, everyone is supporting everyone as they get on, finally able to leave. You are surprised when Gabi approaches you, gratitude brimming in her glossy eyes as she speaks of her thanks to you for saving Falco. You had merely patted her head gently as she looked up to you in surprise, but it was a silent acknowledgement that she had saved your Levi too. Pieck had also surprisingly come to you with a simple gesture, a hand put out for you to shake. You took it, a knowing look exchanged between you. However, when you asked where Magath was, she had simply told you he stayed behind to quote, "guard the rear."

You had been surprised but said nothing.

As the boat moves away from Paradis, the somewhat sereneness of having left the wake of your destructions is interrupted when the only other boat docked at the port goes up into flames. You freeze looking up in shock at the sight as Gabi turns screaming in her despair whilst Pieck now holds her. You watch alongside Hange and Jean at the sight knowing that it was Magath's doing, but also knowing that Keith Shadis had been present in the battle, for he had been the one that had blown up the train full of reinforcements earlier.

You knew the two leaders, seemingly forever on opposite sides of a never-ending war, likely died together for the good of you all; they had sacrificed themselves so no one could pursue you any longer. You remember your last interaction with Commander Shadis - the commander who stood before Erwin - knowing his final act contradicted how he said he was the only Commander to step down rather than die. 

He had given his life in the hopes you would all survive.

_____

[Chapter Thirty-One] <--> [Chapter Thirty-Three]

Tags: @batboygirlie

[whowantsnachos]

school’s over for me, but i definitely think one of the highlights of the year was writing a short essay on this poster of frank castle for daredevil s2 for my AP lang class and getting 100% lmao

(essay below if you’re interested lol)

Movie Posters: The True Mastermind or The True Downfall?

In the past decade, the echo of complaint that there’s nothing to watch on TV has become monotonous. You may find yourself scrolling through streaming services to find a new movie or TV show to watch, rather than the ones you’ve already seen a hundred times. You want to find just one thing that catches your eye in the myriad of options, but before you know it, half an hour has gone by with no such luck. The clear answer as to why lies in the mundane poster previews for these films. However, there have been some recent outliers. For example, in 2016, Netflix released the second season of the series, Daredevil, along with several promotion posters. One of these posters depicts Frank Castle, also known as The Punisher, holding a gun in one hand and Daredevil’s mask in the other. Taking a closer look, this pose resembles the painting, David with the Head of the Goliath, created by the Italian artist, Caravaggio. This depiction of Frank makes his characteristics and motives establish a darker, but more current representation of David’s story in the Book of Samuel in the Bible.

In the Book of Samuel, David, a young Israelite, is chosen to face the Goliath, an enemy of Israel, with no armor and only brings a stick, sling, and stones. David ends up defeating Goliath and beheads it with its own sword. Frank, like David, wants justice by defeating his enemies. He arrives in Hell’s Kitchen to get revenge on groups that he believes were responsible for the deaths of his family. From the start, he demonstrates that he has a clear motive of what he wants, and he prefers to tackle his obstacles directly. However, for him, this means getting rid of criminals off the streets permanently. Unlike many Marvel characters, Frank doesn’t have any special suits, technology, or magic to meet his goals. Rather, he relies on himself and his own military training, similar to David bringing very little to defeat Goliath. Along with this, both men represent the idea of wanting to fix broken dynamics in their current setting. David wants freedom for Israel, and Frank wants to fight against the idea of living passively against injustices. In the poster, Daredevil’s mask taking the place of Goliath’s head represents the idea of defeating the injustices that Frank believes Daredevil maintains by not permanently getting rid of crime. By using these parallels, the viewer can recognize the darker tone of the show and the motives behind Frank’s character, while still being intrigued by how the story will progress.

Nowadays, this kind of imagery is not as prevalent as it used to be. Within the past year, many posters all follow the same superficial formula: the main characters standing around each other, not looking at the camera, while a blown up image draws your eyes to the center. Because this pattern has been done so many times over the years, all of the films start to blend in with each other, losing the audience’s interest. With the decrease in these new changes, it is evident, now more than ever, what once was a sophisticated representation of film has now turned into a cash grab.

[holylulusworld]

Deep Abyss (4)

Summary: The Winter Soldier smelled something divine, and no one would stop him from having his omega.

Pairing: Alpha!Winter Soldier x Omega!Brock Rumlow

Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, imprisonment, angst, true mates, male omega, kidnapping, hostage situation, nakedness, implied (unnamed) characters death dark!fic, fluff (kinda)

Deep Abyss masterlist

Deep Abyss (3)

Three days earlier...

Brock is out cold. He doesn’t hear the other handler scream or the gunshots pierce through the air. The omega lies on the ground, while the Winter Soldier kills man after man.

The Winter Soldier knows no mercy. It doesn’t matter if he’s outnumbered by the soldiers. The alpha is unstoppable. His mind is finally free, and he won’t let anyone stop him from freeing his body.

“Get him!” The last men standing growl to encourage each other. “He’s not undefeatable. We can take him down.”

He cracks his neck and rolls his shoulders. Only a few feet separate him from freedom. No one is going to stop him from walking out of the gate.

“GET HIM!” The remaining soldiers storm toward him. They look grim and determined as they try to bring the Winter Soldier down.

The Winter Soldier stands still. He watches the men get closer and closer, a blank expression on his face. Killing is nothing new to him. The only difference is, this time he kills for his freedom.

Now, …

Brock wakes from a dreamless slumber. He’s still curled into a ball to keep his body warm.

“Omega,” the Winter Soldier sighs, seeing his omega lie in his piss. He didn’t use the bowl in the corner, nor did he put the dress on.

“Go away,” Brock hisses, and scrambles away when the soldier steps closer. He doesn’t look up when the soldier's metal fingers curl around his upper arm.

Brock yelps as the soldier drags him on his feet. He sways a little, unsure if he can stand for longer than a few seconds.

“Wait. Do not move. Do not try to run,” the Winter Soldier says. He crouches down to easily break the cuff around Brock’s ankle.

The omega weighs his options. Even if he could outrun the supersoldier, he wouldn’t make it through the door. For now, all he can do is buy his time.

Brock stiffens and tries to ignore the fact that he's completely bare in front of the alpha. He always denied the pull he felt toward the supersoldier.

“Let me go.”

“They wanted to kill you.” Brock can’t tell if the asset is lying or not. For now, he can only accept the supersoldier’s words as the truth. “I saved you.”

The omega doesn’t fight the soldier as guides him toward a door. He stays still when the soldier tells him so. Brock has a sharp mind. It’s impossible to defeat the Winter Soldier, but maybe, just maybe, Brock can outsmart him.

“Come.” The soldier is almost gentle as he guides Brock into another room. A bathroom with a simple shower and a toilet without a seat. It’s cold and smells musty. The tiles have seen better times; most of them are dirty, and others are broken. “Toilet. Wash yourself.”

Brock glances at the toilet. He tried not to piss himself, but he had no choice. His legs gave in, and he didn’t make it to the bowl in the corner. Crawling didn’t help at all.

The Winter Soldier releases Brock’s arm. He watches Brock stumble toward the toilet, grabbing his waist before the Omega can hit the floor. “Weak. Soft.” He carefully helps Brock sit on the toilet.

Brock cringes at his weakness. This is the worst-case scenario. Being a weak omega close to a strong alpha. That’s what he always tried to avoid.

“Wait—” The Winter Soldier walks toward the shower. He turns on the shower, testing the water with his flesh hand. He hums and turns back around to help Brock get off the toilet and guide him toward the shower. “Hands against the wall.”

While Brock inhales sharply, counting backward to calm down and not letting his flight or fight instinct kick in, the soldier grabs a sponge and shower gel.

He steps back under the spray, ignoring the water cascading down his body. The soldier carefully runs the sponge over Brock’s back, up to his shoulders.

Brock squares his jaw but allows the soldier to clean his backside. He takes deep breaths and steals himself.

“I can do the rest.” He steadies his body with one hand against the wall and holds the other out for the sponge. “Please.”

“Get clean.” The Winter Soldier places the sponge in Brock’s hand. “Careful. Don’t get hurt. The floor is slippery."

Before he leaves, the soldier looks over his shoulder, waiting for Brock to ask him to stay. He shakes his head and walks toward the door.

"I’ll find us a better place soon.”

Brock releases a shuddery breath the moment the soldier closes the door behind him. He presses his forehead against the tile wall, trying to fathom why the asset saved his life.

The soldier returns the moment Brock tugs at the door handle. He opens the door and looks Brock up and down. He hums and nods in approval.

“Come,” he says and grabs Brock’s upper arm. The omega stiffens and releases a painful sound, smelling the room in which he was held.

His eyes dart left and right because the soldier guides him toward another door. Brock’s confused, but he doesn’t say a word. He follows the soldier out of the room and upstairs into a new room.

It’s not much warmer inside the room, but there’s a bed and a fireplace. Opposite the bed stands an old, worn-out couch and a table. That’s all, but it’s better than the cold room he was held in before.

“Wait,” the Winter Soldier says, holding up his hand, making sure Brock stays put as he gets something from the bed. A blanket. It doesn’t look new, but Brock sniffles when the soldier wraps it around his body. It’s large enough to cover his body and even reach his ankles. “Sit on the bed. I’ll get you food, Omega.”

“Brock,” he grunts.

“Omega,” the soldier corrects, and sniffs at Brock’s neck. “Sit on the bed. You’re weak from the gas they threw at us before I took them down.”

“Gas?” Brock furrows his brows. He remembers nothing after the soldier cut off his air supply. “How did we make it outside?”

The Winter Soldier shrugs. He walks toward the table to grab a plate with the food he prepared for Brock. Not much, a slice of bread, eggs, and a few berries he found in the woods. “I killed them all for you.”

Part 5

Tags in reblog.

[raayllum]

The Queen’s Mercy Breakdown Analysis / Predictions

Bloodline that Binds card from out-of-context S5 spoilers is definitely about Karim and Janai being the two heirs that can presumably free Kim’Dael from her chain(s). I think that Karim will barter / hire Kim’Dael to assassinate his sister (or, if she cannot harm descendants of Aditi at all, Amaya) under the deal of freeing her afterwards. Therefore, I have a feeling that this screencap

is Amaya, Callum, and most importantly, Rayla, encountering Kim’Dael in her initial attack

(Also, given that we’ve had a short story entitled “The Queen’s Soul” for Khessa and “The Queen’s Mercy” for Aditi, it seems likely Janai will get a tale named after her at one point as well, as she’s currently the only Sunfire queen without.)

This also brings our “characters in S5 who are seeking Freedom” tally up to like, five, now that it’s Callum (from Aaravos), Rayla (for Callum & the coins), Viren (from Aaravos’ machinations, most likely), Aaravos (from prison), and finally Kim’Dael from Aditi’s golden blood oath chain. How’s that for layering

Specifically Kim’Dael and Aaravos both being imprisoned with, well, very different kinds of keys tethered to each of them

The sharp circlet of gold had sealed itself around her neck without an edge, without a latch, without a lock. 

(Flashbacks to Amaya’s “I don’t believe in locks” lmao). 

We also see the return of deceptive gift giving and promises under the guise of protection or unclear terms. Aaravos was a betrayer who was then betrayed; Rayla was a liar who then revealed one (Claudia); Kim’Dael is a deceiver who’s then deceived, etc etc.

Also in addition to the storm symbolism / pattern the marketing and S5 has been pushing, the Heart Motif (specifically a heart as vulnerability or truth) continues to be more and more consistent, featuring now in every short story’s release and making me believe more and more in my “the Key of Aaravos is Aaravos’ heart/chest piece” theory

Fools. They might as well have held their own hearts, beating and bloody, in the palms of their hands. Kim’dael knew that if she showed them her heart—or something convincingly like it—the Sunfire elves would do exactly what she wanted them to do.

Zubeia flew through its torrents until her wings ached, but she could not find the tempest’s edge nor the quiet heart at its center. [...] The hurt in her chest deepened. “But I am so tired. I’ve walked so far alone.” “You are stronger than this. All storms end!” Rex rumbled a snort through flared nostrils. “What lies at its heart?” 

Lissa had left her years ago, but the space she had owned in Claudia’s heart remained. It was a dark place now, hard and hateful, its edges raw as a wound that had forgotten to heal.

While one may say it ends with a sunrise, another will insist it ends at nightfall. Yet at the heart of the story is a single, simple truth…A star fell from the sky.

I remember how I felt when my parents left me to join the Dragonguard, like PART OF MY HEART WAS MISSING and I would never feel right again. [...] But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me!

Also more Kim’Dael parallels to Rayla and Aaravos not only in aforementioned heart symbolism (“My heart for Xadia”) but also in being likewise the last of their kind(s) / specific groups, and exiled/hunted for it as well. There’s also the way Rayla’s mercy doomed her team and “ Mercy would be the queen’s death someday, she thought—but that, of course, was none of her concern” even if it of course doesn’t come to fruition quite the way she expects

We have Harrow’s “we will pay the blood price eventually” coming true quite literally, as well as questions of why Aditi chose to keep Kim’Dael as a personal murder pet over just killing her (which she clearly could’ve done) when Aditi’s chain clearly isn’t enough to stop Kim’Dael from committing crimes in the future, either.

Last but not least we have Callum and Kim’Dael parallels in terms of literal (or metaphorical) chains around the neck, an inability to breathe, being brought to their knees, etc. 

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Overanalyzing Sonic Comics Again Because I Can.

You know what? No. I was gonna build up to this but I’m fuccin clueless on how so I’ll just jump right on into it!

This hedgehog. This goddamn blue motherfucking pinball of a hedgehog. He is absolutely SHATTERED by this one instance.

Sonic the Hedgehog in the IDW comics has been through… A LOT, lately. He’s shown signs of trauma and regret from the Metal Virus, he literally pulled a Shadow and lost his memory for like 8 panels, and ya boi LITERALLY DIED. IT’S VERY SAFE TO ASSUME THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG ON HIS END WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC FOR HIM.

To me, in this case, it completely makes sense why Sonic is so utterly crushed in the Winter Jam, because not only does it force him to think outside the box and try some new techniques, but it also does to him what no one has dared to do in a while since his death, and that is: Disagree with him.

You’re probably giving this a pretty big scowl right now and you’re probably about to move on and not continue reading because yes I know that claim is very very outlandish and weird but I AM ABOUT TO EXPLAIN SO PLEASE STAY FOR A BIT I PROMISE IT’LL MAKE SOME SORT OF SENSE-

The Winter Jam is a fake reality tv show crafted by Orbot and Cubot, all for the purpose of getting Dr. Eggman to get off his lazy ass and do something. It kind of works in the end, but that’s not what I’m here to discuss. They painstakingly put together a bunch of tests specifically made to challenge the players, and to hopefully get some kind of juicy secrets out of them as well. Because that’s just how reality tv shows work I guess. And Sonic is one of those contestants.

The very first challenge, Sonic fails. The second challenge, Sonic fails. The third, fourth, fifth? Oh, he probably failed every single one of them! (Poor Tails lmao) But what the second challenge does is show Sonic that speed isn’t everything. It shows that not everything about him is perfect and that he doesn’t always have the right ideas. Same with the first challenge too! It brings to light that Sonic’s ideals can oftentimes be very wrong and too on-brand for him, because all he knows at this point is “Go fast” and “Freedom.” (See one of my previous analysis on our favorite blue boi) That would probably be mostly because of his recent trauma, but I’ll save all that for another time. So essentially, what this reality tv show is doing, is showing the odder sides of Sonic, showing how he can sometimes be wrong and that he isn’t as heroic and great as some make him out to be. (*cough cough* issue 67 *cough cough*)

The final challenge, though… That’s when things start taking a turn for the worst for Sonic.

He already started questioning his methods when the second challenge ended in a failure. He went fast, and that almost always works, so why didn’t he win? It was a race, was it not? Did he miss the memo? Did he do something wrong? What was wrong with him, why didn’t he win, he went fast so WHY DIDN’T HE WIN????

And if we’re assuming that he kept racking up failure after failure for the rest of the competition, then those thoughts suddenly become a lot worse. They start getting muddied, dirtied by insecurity, full of lies and deceit and worries that he’d spent so long trying to bury in his mind. He starts slowing down, trying his best to not fail because if he keeps failing then what kind of hero even is he!?!?

And then the final challenge happens.

And Sonic fails once again.

He thought it had worked this time, he thought that finally, after so long, he could claim just one little victory. Just a small, funny statue made of ice. One that symbolized the best of the best, something that showed that he cared. A true gift for a true friend. An ice statue of him and his beloved baby brother, Tails.

It works…! At least for a few seconds. Because after those few seconds are up?

(YES I KNOW I SHOWED THIS IMAGE ALREADY BUT IT’S ALL THE WAY AT THE START AND IT PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THE FEELING IM GOING FOR SO HUSHHHHHHH)

It all comes crumbling down.

And so too does Sonic’s entire body.

He falls to the ground with his statue, his eyes glued to the ice-cold dots of the foxy figure. Sonic stares at it, feeling something burn within his eyes. No, no, that could not have just happened! His hard work could not have been for nothing! He wasn’t too fast again, was he? Why did it fall, why did it crumble, why was everything falling apart like the statue???

…

Everything was falling apart.

——

idk what else to say man just do what you can with that info. Spread it like the plague or something idfk.

[aressida]

my entry: "Defending for Truth in a world of Deception." - Aressida. 10.10.24.

I can hardly wrap my head around the overwhelming number of deaths that have occurred since 2019, and what is even more unsettling is how so many people seem indifferent to it.

Why is it discouraged to seek the truth for yourself? Why are we told not to dig deeper and question things? What part of this do not you understand?

The government, the very institution that is supposed to protect us, is hiding behind shields of immunity, proven time and time again to be riddled with corruption. Yet, most would rather cling to the comforting lies than face the harsh truth.

Do you truly believe that doctors and nurses always know what is best for you? They only know what they have been taught to say, what they have been conditioned to push. Sometimes, they do not insist on certain treatments because it is right for you, but because it is what they have been trained to do.

You need to ask yourself, who does this system really serve?

When will you finally see that you have been under the spell of multi-billion-dollar industries, bombarded by ads designed to manipulate, while they spin their own science and push a narrative that profits them, not you?

Are you angry yet, or are you still in denial?

Look around.

And here in Australia, we are fast approaching a time where we will not even be able to criticize the government's actions. They will decide what information is 'safe' for us to hear, all while bushfire season is looming. Pay close attention to the rising volume on this so-called 'misinformation' narrative.

Notice how it is growing louder the closer we get to major truths being exposed. They can sense it, and they are trying to silence it before it all unravels.

As a digital soldier, let me be frank, being fooled does not make us weak or stupid. The real failure lies in choosing to stay blind when the truth is staring us in the face. Every time we comply without question, we help build the walls of the prison that will one day trap our children. Do not allow that to happen. To dismiss something as a conspiracy without looking into the facts is an act of cowardice. It is a slap in the face to those raising the alarm, all to avoid the discomfort of facing what might be true.

Here is what I know: A true believer is never at peace with sin. We are called to stand against it.

Remember, freedom is not a gift handed down by the powerful, it is something we must fight for every day, with discernment and courage. We stand at the precipice of truth, and it is up to each of us to rise up, question what we have been told, and seek the light in the darkness.

No one will do it for us. We owe it to ourselves, our children, and to future generations to resist deception, stand firm in our beliefs, and be warriors for truth in a world drowning in delusions.

The time to act is now. Will you stand with us?

[xx--ofmanythoughts--xx]

con'td from here

A faint smile found a resting place on her swollen, dried and bruised lips…the iron from her blood lingering still on her tongue after licking her lips.  His back to her now but she had caught the look over his shoulder when he spoke his final words.  “The cruelest thing for a dragon is to be caged and chained in a small pen…denying them the hunt and the kill…. freedom…sometimes a dragon death is the worst but as you so eloquently stated; living can be as bad if living meant imprisonment and away from their mate as your brother has done to me.”

Defiance laced her words, and it was something she had always been …. Defiant …  Visenya was more like her namesake than many truly knew or believed.  Her mother had named her after their ancestor, knowing how she had fought to survive a birth but even before; her mother knew another Visenya needed to be amongst the living Targaryens.  That defiance was a strength, and her father was the one that allowed it to strengthen further, but did teach her that she had to choose the battles she truly wished for that dragon defiance to emerge …,  and this was one of them.

“Betraying blood and being loyal?  Oh dear, dear uncle,” she began, scoffing at his words.  “It is your brother that has betrayed his family…it is your mother that has betrayed this family…and it is Otto Hightower who has betrayed this family…yet, here you are being loyal to the side that has spoke of lies desiring more power for themselves.”  Many knew the truth, the allies to her mother and even some to Aegon knew the truth but they did not dare speak it.  “Your grandsire only desired to be near a Targaryen to gain power…hence why he has been Hand to the King for two Targaryen kings…pulling them away from allies, closer to House Hightower.”  Her words rolled off of her tongue as her gaze never left the statuesque frame before her with only iron bars to separate them.

“You speak to me as if I am nothing or that my mother is nothing, but it was the KING, YOUR father, my grandsire who names my mother heir to the throne …. Not uncle Aegon.” She paused, getting to her feet while the metal of the chains that bound her clanking on the stone flooring.  “He did not even wish to be King… your mother and Otto placed him on the throne for THEIR own benefit.  They moved quickly, too and to remove items that Aegon the Conqueror as well as other Targaryen Kings had placed.”

Her words rang of truth, but the ones allied to House Hightower, they were filled with deceit and lies but the young dragon princess knew the truth.  “Isn’t quite odd, would @eyeofvengeance you not say; how quickly your mother removed items that are of Targaryen history or of Old Valyria?  You did not even receive a dragon’s egg when you were born because your mother believed the House and family ways were ‘quirky’ So, you speak to me of loyalty and unwavering commitment when your own mother is only for HER house and not for the entire House of the Dragons.”

Anger was kept at bay as she spoke her words, but it did not mean she wasn’t angry, but she would not show it to this man.  She knew Aemond better than all just as he knew her and any weakness shown would be used against her or even him.  Moving to stand closer to the bars; her arms outstretched behind her as the chains only allowed her so far…another smile. 

“You can show me mercy, Aemond but it is the ones closest to you that are the true danger.  You have put too much faith into people that have moved you around on a Cyvasse board for their gain and not yours.”  She knew the buttons she pushed and how he stood there listening to her; she knew some were making him think.  “Do you truly believe that you will ever be anything but the loyal little dragon your brother and mother made you to be?”  She offered before turning from him, the chains following her as she moved to the back of the open cell.  Violet hues darkened as she looked on, watching him. 

“You speak of love with one showing commitment and loyalty to a cause as well as to their family… well, Aemond.  I am loyal to a cause that is my mother is the rightful heir to my family.  I am loyal to them as well as you and Helaena, but Aegon lost that right.” She paused once more, licking her lips to wet them once again.  “My mother always loved her siblings, but it seems that has been forgotten in others’ path to greatness.” 

[mariana-oconnor]

The Silver Blaze pt 2

We venture further into the web of intrigue, murder and horse theft.

I have decided that the funniest end to this story is if Silver Blaze is just never seen again. Like the horse just ran off onto the moors and is now living in sin with a herd of Dartmoor ponies and frolicking all the livelong day.

Although it would be funny, but tragic, if Silver Blaze ends up being killed offpage in a random shipwreck. I don't want that to happen, but there would be a certain black humour to events.

In every other direction the low curves of the moor, bronze-colored from the fading ferns, stretched away to the sky-line, broken only by the steeples of Tavistock, and by a cluster of houses away to the westward which marked the Mapleton stables.

Watson was secretly being paid by the Devon Marketing Board because this makes me want to go to Dartmoor. Go to Devon, have a nice cream tea, see some Dartmoor ponies, experience the terrifying and exhilarating awe of witnessing untamed nature? God I need a holiday.

And a cream tea.

But mostly a holiday.

I didn't realise the other stables were so close you could literally see them from the main house, though.

“I think that I should prefer to stay here a little and go into one or two questions of detail. Straker was brought back here, I presume?” “Yes; he lies upstairs. The inquest is to-morrow.”

Just got the body of a murdered man upstairs, nbd.

I know they have nowhere else to put him, but damn that's unsanitary. Don't keep him upstairs, at least keep him somewhere cold and not part of the main house. Although I suppose you could be keeping him in the pantry, so we're all grateful you're not.

“I presume that you made an inventory of what he had in this pockets at the time of his death, Inspector?”

Also, the American spelling of aluminium... like we had the American spelling of grey a week or so ago. That always throws me out a bit, but I acknowledge that that is probably because it is literally my job to localise things from US to UK English and vice versa, so I am trained to notice them.

"This other is a milliner's account for thirty-seven pounds fifteen made out by Madame Lesurier, of Bond Street, to William Derbyshire."

Back to the trusty inflation calculator, thank you Bank of England website, that's more than £3,500 in today's money. And while Holmes says 'a single costume' as far as I'm aware, milliners were hat makers, not full on tailors, although maybe they did both. 3.5 grand for a hat is... insane amounts of money. Could this be a secret payment for a horse? Or for stealing a horse? Money laundering?

“Dear me! Why, I could have sworn to it. You wore a costume of dove-colored silk with ostrich-feather trimming.” “I never had such a dress, sir,” answered the lady.

Guessing that's the £3.5K dress, then. Ostrich feathers are pricey.

So... so... what if the guy had the cataract knife in his pocket, which was super sharp, right, and the cork fell off the blade, right... and it cut his leg as he was walking? and in the confusion the horse stomped him to death with its hooves. And then Silver Blaze ran off into the night, met a nice Dartmoor pony, settled down, fathered a few foals, and lived happily to the end of his days.

“In this bag I have one of the boots which Straker wore, one of Fitzroy Simpson's shoes, and a cast horseshoe of Silver Blaze.” “My dear Inspector, you surpass yourself!”

Another competent police officer! Will wonders never cease? Although the last one did arrest the wrong man deliberately and have racist articles published in order to lure out the true suspect.

The horse is a very gregarious creature. If left to himself his instincts would have been either to return to King's Pyland or go over to Mapleton.

Or... or... or... to the Dartmoor ponies. Freedom! Pony friends. Thundering across the moors together.

"It was Holmes who saw them first, and he stood pointing with a look of triumph upon his face. A man's track was visible beside the horse's."

OK, working theory, which I absolutely cannot remember if I'm right or not. Straker steals the horse because he has debts/an expensive mistress (£3.5k for a dress yikes), but as stated before, the cork comes off the knife, he cuts open his thigh and panics. Man panicking makes horse panic, because horses are scaredy cats. But they are heavy scaredy cats with hooves. Silver Blaze unintentionally kills his own kidnapper and runs off into the night. Then one of the grooms from the other stable sees him says 'ooh, free horse' and leads him back to the stable.

The double track turned sharp off and took the direction of King's Pyland. Holmes whistled, and we both followed along after it. His eyes were on the trail, but I happened to look a little to one side, and saw to my surprise the same tracks coming back again in the opposite direction.

So they were going to return him... then they decided not to?

“I've no time to talk to every gadabout. We want no stranger here. Be off, or you may find a dog at your heels.” Holmes leaned forward and whispered something in the trainer's ear. He started violently and flushed to the temples.

Not a horse whisperer, but a horse-trainer whisperer.

Silas Brown seems like a pleasant fellow, doesn't he? Love it when people threaten to set dogs on me just for stopping to have a chat.

“Oh, and old horse-faker like him has many a dodge.”

I do know how the horse has been hidden. That is like the one thing I remember. I think Enid Blyton used the same trick in one of her stories at one point. Either that or she just wrote another story about a stolen horse and I smashed them together in my mind.

"That is the advantage of being unofficial. I don't know whether you observed it, Watson, but the Colonel's manner has been just a trifle cavalier to me. I am inclined now to have a little amusement at his expense. Say nothing to him about the horse."

Colonels, you can't trust them. I'm trying to remember a single colonel in these stories who has been a good guy and I'm struggling. Even the one who died was a traitor. Colonels should not be trusted.

We had only been a few hours in Devonshire, and that he should give up an investigation which he had begun so brilliantly was quite incomprehensible to me.

Yeah, my dudes, stop for lunch. Find a nice little country pub or cafe somewhere. Have a tea, have a scone. Please allow me to vicariously live through you.

The Inspector opened his eyes, and the Colonel's lip curled in a sneer. “So you despair of arresting the murderer of poor Straker,” said he.

Colonels are terrible. This is clearly the hidden message of these stories.

Wouldn't put it past him to be race fixing and have bet against his own horse, then arranged for Straker to get Silver Blaze out of the way for a little while so he can rake in the dough.

But maybe he's just a horrible person. That's also possible. Not all horrible people are criminals. We must remember this.

Until next time. We've solved where the horse is (which is the bit I already sort of knew. I knew it was in a stable and I knew how it was being hidden), next step the mastermind behind the failed theft.

I really think that Straker might have accidentally sliced open his own artery and caused all the problems. This is why you don't keep knives in your pocket. Bad idea. Lots of arteries and veins right there.

Alas, Silver Blaze did not choose to roam the moors with a herd of wild ponies. Still kind of wish he had, though.

[mizchievious]

They Always Kill the Messenger

They Always Kill the Messenger

Poetic Essay by Michael Wade

 Everyone walking around mad, as if the next man owes him money, now the debtor is late on the payback. As if every payday is on Friday and the pay is either short, late, or downright absent. People lost in emotions and don’t know how to handle it. Cursed with being stuck in emotional loops. Feeling robbed and duped left holding a reality they did not choose. Forced to play the character in a show no one wants to play. Misplaced trust replaces the vitamins with supplements, humans with robots. This is punishment for strengthening your greatest defense... your intelligence. I choose to make you cry with truth because I would rather hurt your feelings with hopes you'll forgive me, than to see you played for the fool. Speaking a vocabulary from a forgotten language that speaks freedom, the language of revolution to a government, blasphemy to its God. I don’t care how much they yell "don't." They always kill the messenger.

I am death to my enemy, whomever the enemy may be. This is why the enemy killed me. Don't cry for me, my name isn’t important, what I left behind is. I expected this death, I knew this day would come. I found the buried treasure. I discovered the map that was hidden in plain sight. I discovered truth, I uncovered lies. I told the babies, so the flowers may grow. That was my crime, tales told in scriptures I left behind. The sin I committed that released my soul from my shell. I was only human, yin and yang, Able and Cain. I witnessed madness from the crossroads of insanity and sane. I did it for love, I did it for self, I did it because I'm vain. Yet, I won't benefit for this sacrifice. Only time tells who history gets to forget. Not everyone will ride on the spaceship when this planet blows, not everyone will make the list. As I say this you can believe I don't care how much they yell, "don’t". They always kill the messenger.

It is the "fear of shame" that is used to control. It is the fear of shame that allows three percent of thirteen to act high & mighty, bourgeois. A highly effective tool this "fear” of shame is. It is the fear of shame that keeps people trapped in proverbial closets. It is the fear of shame that allows the one with the biggest gun to make the rules, be the protector and murderer. This why they make the loudest sing wearing the biggest jewels, to distract you. Shame keeps the storyteller from telling the greatest story ever told. Courage, bravery are virtues that have been perverted, definitions redefined. Shame is used to keep victims from going after their justice. Refusal to rub the lamp will not get you your wishes. Refusing to gamble won't win you the jackpot. The fear of shame, the fear of others seeing where you are weak. The fear of revealing to the world the true "you" that is hidden. The real "you" who you work hard to hide. It is shame that gives man nightmares and manifests Jekyll and Hyde. Someone always pays, even if it’s only one, this always hold true. They always kill the messenger.  

[hopeful-infj]

I'll stand on this soapbox once, and only once, since the election is soon.

If you love war, crime, chaos, and poverty -- vote Harris!

If you love your fellow Americans and want a more free, more peaceful, more prosperous world -- vote Trump!

Donald Trump will...

Lower prices

Lower taxes

Negotiate an end to bloody (and preventable) wars

Fight rising crime

Seal the border and deport violent rapists, murderers, and sex/drug traffickers

Provide pathways to citizenship for people who want to contribute positively to the country

Bring back American energy independence

Cut useless bureaucracy and regulations

Strengthen the economy by saving manufacturing jobs and funding innovation

Provide school choice for all students (so that they aren't trapped in horrible public schools)

Address unethical farming & food manufacturing practices making American's sick

Create opportunities to support American greatness on the world stage.

Like it or not, Trump's voter block IS the unity party this time around.

Kamala Harris will...

Lead the world into more violence and hyper-inflation

Will weaken the productivity and self-sufficiency of our nation to protect itself

Her ambitions will destroy any chance at hope for prosperous conditions in this country

She will degrade and violate free speech and the second amendment rights of Americans (who need to defend themselves in high-crime areas and isolated areas)

She will steal more money (much more) from every working person's wages and every small business's income, killing jobs and hurting middle class families

Her administration will weaken our safety and defenses even more than they have been.

Her stated policies display spite, condescension, and blatant disregard for our culture, our constitution, our history, our economy, our children, our law enforcement, our sovereignty as a nation, rule of law, American minorities (yes, in many ways), and much more.

Furthermore, SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO NOTHING DIFFERENTLY THAN BIDEN. TWICE.

Kamala hates half the country; she's not good at hiding it. Trump does not. She lacks confidence, and all formidable enemies of freedom would use her as a doormat, as they have Biden. For better or worse, the world listens when Trump talks, and he's good at deterring bad actors from making big moves.

For all his faults, Trump loves the USA deeply (all of it except perhaps the hacks and liars in fake news media, lol) and he is competent to protect us from impending wars and economic ruin. By extension, the entire planet is better off. That's just the way it works. The world wouldn't have lost millions of souls to violence if the United States had been awake at the negotiation table -- untold numbers of Palestinians, Israelis, Ukrainians, and Russians are dead or permanently wounded because of the dereliction of the Biden Admin and, I repeat, Kamala says she'd do nothing differently (including surrendering the people of Afghanistan back to Taliban rule in a sudden and humiliating act of cowardice and incompetence.)

If you're a single-issue voter on abortion, Trump is not going to interfere with it. He merely released the issue from federal control. It is now a state-by-state issue and you can vote accordingly where you live. Most red states today have more liberal abortion laws than any nation in Europe (sad, but true).

If you hate my guts for posting this--even if you wish death on me--I wish you nothing but peace and blessings. I too held radical left beliefs at one time.

Don't be tricked like I was! Consider why those on the radical left can't tolerate a simple difference of opinion, and reevaluate whether everything they've told you about Trump and the right is true. Look into it for yourself. The left is not the side of love and light and progress and inclusivity that it pretends to be. It's the opposite, in fact. Its radicals represent a cult that loves death, hatred, division, chaos, lies, segregation, and tyrannical authority. It discards you if you deviate in any way from the party line.

Needless to say, I am proudly casting my vote for TRUMP 2024!!! And for the protection of your future and my children's future, I am humbly inviting you to do the same, just this once, even if you're a democrat.

[thevalkyriesshadow]

Pestilence

They came to earth-Pestilence, War, Famine, Death-four horsemen riding their screaming steeds, racing to the corners of the world. Four horsemen with the power to destroy all of humanity. They came to earth, and they came to end us all.

When Pestilence comes for Sara Burn's town, one thing is certain: everyone she knows and loves is marked for death. Unless, of course, the angelic-looking horseman is stopped, which is exactly what Sara has in mind when she shoots the unholy beast off his steed.

Too bad no one told her Pestilence can't be killed.

Now the horseman, very much alive and very pissed off, has taken her prisoner, and he's eager to make her suffer. Only, the longer she's with him, the more uncertain she is about his true feelings towards her ... and hers towards him.

And now, well, Sara might still be able to save the world, but in order to do so, she'll have to sacrifice her heart in the process.

Beautiful Villain

Seven years ago, I lost him for good. Now he's back, but is he still the Jay Gatsby I used to know...or is he something more? Something...darker.

Daisy Finnegan is looking forward to the endless golden freedom of summer. No more college, no more pressure, no more worries. But when her cousin goes missing at an exclusive house party, Daisy is all too ready to confront the mysterious host...only to discover the wealthy recluse is Jay Gatsby, her childhood sweetheart—now sinfully hot and impossible to deny.

She could never resist him, and it isn't long before she's entangled in a web of wealth and lies and obsession, culminating in a shocking act of violence that shatters the summer haze and threatens to drown them all.

But it isn't until Gatsby is shot through the heart—and survives—that Daisy discovers the truth of how he clawed his way up in the world: by selling the secret of immortality to the highest bidder. Now with her friends' lives at stake, her own dizzying new powers still volatile, and an unimaginable threat closing in, Daisy will have to face an impossible choice: Side with the man who claimed her body and soul? Or with the monsters who would see him lost to her forever?

An addictive and truly original spicy New Adult retelling of The Great Gatsby with a magical twist.

[octopoet]

Scattered Thoughts and Unanswered Questions

(not a poem, sorry)

empty isn't really a good word for it. i don't really know how to word this so im just going to write it as the thoughts flow.

i read once that people call it a creative spark because when you sit still and don't use it, it smolders and burns, filling ones body with smoke until they choke and suffocate. honestly, i agree. This summer has been interesting.

i purposely planned to have an empty schedule so that i had time to really pick apart how i worked and how to live my life before plunging into this new and unforgiving chapter of living i have before me. the reason being that so far I've been so choked up with obligations that i haven't even had a chance to sit down and ask myself why im doing it all.

or at least really think about it. to the degree of overthinking that is my usual standard.

i guess thats what this is.

a running commentary of overthinking. Ive found that putting the words before me is a nessecary tactic. A defense against the fluid and frantic nature of unrestricted thought. now that i have this time to myself however, i’ve put it to doing what i never had time to. Reading, making, spending time with the family.

the things i told myself would make me feel better, back when i had no time to do them at all. well the joke’s on me. They didn't make me feel better. sure the stress levels are down, and i can afford to spend four hours reading instead of working myself to death. (Hyperbole) but somehow i feel even less fulfilled than when i was running around doing things someone else told me to do.

i guess what im trying to say is, doing things other people told me to do always felt like a chore, but now that i have the time to do whatever I want, it doesn't feel any better.

it feels like im floundering, wasting this precious resource called “free time” that i had so little of not so long ago.

I feel like i HAVE to be making something of it, and im not.

i feel like i HAVE to be making something. And here we go back to that creative spark again. the catch is that making things exhausts me. Using that creative energy i feel like i absolutely have to use leaves me too tired to fulfill my other needed obligations. i took time this summer intentionally to find other things to do that refreshed me rather than drained me like creating does. However, the low-effort things that refresh me like reading or listening to music leave me feeling unfulfilled, and guilty as if that time was poorly spent, and should have been used for better things, and that guilt kind of defeats the whole purpose of resting and refreshing in the first place. It’s not really working out. work exhausts me, creativity exhausts me, but taking time to regain my energy fills me with guilt. I suppose part of me believes that i can only rest when i’m dead.

but ill come back to the topic of tasks that others have assigned me, since that whole “relaxation” thing isn't working out. i cant shake the feeling that its a distraction. That tasks designed by others are merely an obstacle on the road to true fulfillment. A restriction preventing me from attaining freedom. Well freedom isn't working out for me either. At least i felt like I was getting stuff done when i had work to do.

I cant shake the feeling that these tasks are something “surface level”, that they’re not what this whole “life” gig is about. Having a job, driving a car, meeting these people, completing this assignment, it doesn't feel like this is what im playing the game for. Excuse my terminology but it feels like “side quests” on the road to some main and overarching purpose that i just haven't figured out yet.

so what really is my core? If these things are just my surface what lies beneath? What really is life about if all this stuff is just auxiliary.

It feels like everything i have been and done so far is a shell on the surface of the real me.

If I am the sum of my experiences then how many of those experiences define the real me?

how many of those experiences were “real”?

what parts of me are “real?”

Sometimes it feels as if i have been a different person in every moment of my life.

differing circumstances and differing expectations call for differing versions of me. I know the analogy of a mask is what is popular and in truth, has been my main analogy to describe my differing senses of self thus far.

which me is the real me? Which mask is my real face?

i fear that the answer is not so simple, and that the real me is comprised of a fragment of all my parts, of a handful of all my experiences. That my real face is made from one tiny piece of each of my hundreds of masks, and that what im trying to figure out is what piece of those masks is a part of my real face.

this is an extremely strange analogy, and i apologize.

but if i figure out what experiences have truly contributed to my sense of self thus far then surely i can determine my purpose from that? Surely the “real” experiences that contributed to my “real” personality are what i should be doing for the rest of my life.

but as im writing this i know that thats not the case. I know that this attempt at discerning my life is futile, and that no matter how much i analyze my past, i will not be able to predict the future.

One of the many points i think im trying to make in this haphazard mental minefield of a post is that this is a question that a single summer cannot answer, and i do not think even a decade worth of summers will answer. I’m asking myself: “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose?”, and so on… The very question, “what really is life?” Has been asked and remained unanswered, at least completely, since the dawn of rational thought. It seems as if these are questions to which the answers cannot be taught, or even logically discerned but must be individually and personally discovered through years of experience and living. and yet it feels like a catch 22, as if i cannot properly live until these questions are answered, but they cannot be answered until i have properly lived. i suppose i must wait and see. My mind is not the right place to look for the answers.

i will just have to wait and see.

[libidomechanica]

When within

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she’s wi’ a’ your moral giant’s blush’d, she water’s     caughty you, who fry in you dost beauties above thing, the state would not be one. You     on the path is of waters, and bye her back hands now will he cannot make fast are greatly     laid on the summer-storms; another to breathes of wrath—’I must be for Drops; they had     not bear them well, at last and fingers?