#THE TOWER STUFF IS JUST GREAT LB IS SO COOL IN IT

[magical-xirl-4]

I just rewatched Gorizilla today and it’s still literally one of my favourite Miraculous episodes 😭 my favourite of season 2 for sure and maybe in a top 5 or smth 😭😭

[crystalangelluna]

A New Chance Chapter 3

Ao3  Part 1  Part 2

I tried writing Damian as best as I could since I really don't know even know Damian besides the basics. My knowledge on DCU is limited. I wrote this really late so if you spot (hehe:) any errors please let me know. Enjoy

Earlier that day…

                                                           With Damian…

This by far had to be Damian’s worst day ever. Kent came over and basically dragged him to the arcade, where he was surrounded by ugh.. People . Of course he also found the games useless, like why even bother playing them unless you want to be brainless zombies (i don’t actually believe this so i am trying my best to write Damian as best as possible).

Then when he returned back to the Manor, his imbecile brothers kept pestering him and couldn’t even leave him alone for just one minute. But the worst thing happened during patrol, No he didn't die again, instead he found himself at this particular moment…

Damian separated from the rest of the bat clan and headed towards crime alley in case a crime arose again in that area. He could practically feel that someone was following him for the past 10 minutes. He abruptly stopped and as quick as he could aimed his favorite katana towards his stalker. This of course caught his talker off guard.  He was about to stab them when suddenly…

“CATACLYSM”

A black orb appeared in her hand and she touched the tip of the weapon.

Out of nowhere the katana instantly disintegrated and fell to the floor.  

He had 3 words repeating in his mind…

HOW DARE SHE

He finally noticed a girl dressed in a catsuit who could easily pass as Selina’s ward. She has a long braid that seems to be moving on it’s own like a TAIL?!?!  Cat ears that also seem to be too real to be fake, long black hair as midnight, her eyes seem to cat like they are gre- wait that is not right her eyes seem to have changed into bluebell eyes for 1 second.

His stalker now turned enemy seemed to have recovered from everything that happened. She quickly made a run for it but before running away she actually apologized, the nerve that she had.

He quickly began running after what he assumed was a meta-human. He needed answers and he was going to get them!!

“COME BACK HERE” She managed to escape him for a few minutes and then she appeared to be running away behind him. He cornered her in an alleyway he was about to begin yelling at her but all of a sudden she disappeared in thin air.

He began letting out curse words for letting her get away

“Batman, a metahuman, has been spotted near by a crime ally.”

It was dead silent on the other side of the comm. Realization hit him in the face..

HE

TURNED

OFF

HIS

COMM..

The reason was simple:

He didn't want to hear his annoying brothers since they kept bothering him earlier.

Great just great.

He checked the time

Guess what else happened…

Patrol ended an HOUR AGO!!!

He didn’t know why he had such bad luck…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Back at the apartment where Mari was staying…

Plagg could barely keep his laughter from escaping…

The rest of the Kwami’s looked unamused…

Mari on the other hand was confused…

“Tikki why is Plagg ac-” she was cut off by Tikki groaning

“He cursed someone with bad luck again”

She got her answer , Or so she thinks...

(Time Skip)

Mari woke up late again due to staying up too late.

The answer is simple: she felt bad for destroying Robin’s Damian’s Katana so she made him a new and one of a kind katana. With the help of the kwami’s she finished the apology gift around 5 in the morning.  

It is indestructible and can cut through things easily, it also has some of Tikki’s good luck/ it comes along with a bracelet that lets him teleport wherever in the world the katana may be( courtesy of Kaalki). It had the yin-and yang symbol. And other cool features etc...etc…

The katana

She went to explore Gotham, to find out the places where it really needed to be healed. She came across a beautiful hidden garden and figured it would be the best place where she can transfer her magic to heal since ladybugs tend to like the outdoors.

She put her hands on the grass and focused her energy towards the gloomy parts of Gotham. Knowing that if she uses too much energy she could be hurt she let go of the connection of her magic on Gotham. The sun shined brightly above her and the skies cleared. Every gothamite felt that Gotham felt a little less Gothamy (did I make a new word) they didn’t know why but they were happy.

Across town a certain red haired female rogue felt her plants show extreme measures of happiness, and new life was created.

She was on her way back to the apartment when a building was set on fire. Knowing she doesn’t want to wait for the Batfam Wayne’s, she takes action. She ducks into any alley and transforms into Ladybug. Her outfit is completely different.

The Outfit. (pretend she has the yoyo, the ladybug mask on and without the bow and arrows.)

Instead of her normal spandex suit she has a warrior's type outfit with a ladybug hood & cape.

She uses the lucky charm and gets an oxygen mask. She puts it on and goes inside to take everyone to safety. The batfam arrived when ladybug finally got the last of the citizens outside. The building collapsed and every one backed away but one. LB immediately threw the oxygen mask into the air and called out

“Miraculous Ladybug”

While everyone distracted she was leaving the scene, suddenly someone grabbed her wrist and detained her from escaping…

Low and behold it is Robin Damian…

Recognition spread across his face…

He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows.

How did he find out, I have to leave…

She ran away again and left a certain robin processing stuff.

                                                                       ……………………….

Damian recognised those eyes, they belong to his stalker who ended up destroying his weapon.  Instead of chasing after her again he decided it was best to tell his family about what happened so that the next time they run into each other that she won’t run away again.

                                                                        ………………………….

Mari decided that it was best if she met the batfam officially and apologized. After all she ran away from Robin Damian 2 times already. She can tell he is pretty mad about it so it would for the best to come clean.

Night came faster than she would like to admit, but she had a mission to complete.

She transformed into Ladynoir,  grabbed the katana and headed off to Wayne Tower.

Instead of going after them, she is letting them come to her.

(By now you already know who is going to find her first right…)

Robin landed behind her knowing she could be a dangerous threat.

“Tt I honestly expected you to run away like the last few times STALKER .”

Aww great, first impressions are always the WORST. Am i right?

Instead of making a snarky comment she turned around and looked directly at Robin Damian and smiled

“Not This Time.” Not this time.

“My name is Ladynoir and I came here to formally apologize to you about the other night. It was just that you caught me off guard and my instincts kicked in and I destroyed your Katana. And to meet the rest of your team.”

She pulled out something from behind her and gave it to him (guess what it is)

“I knew an apology wasn’t enough and I felt really bad about it so I got this for you.”

Not knowing if it was a trap he reluctantly grabbed it. It was a brand new KATANA!!!”

Inspecting it closely he could tell it was a really unique one attached to it was a bracelet.

“Tt it’s adequate.” Deep down he knew it was a lie.

He’s having some strange emotions that he has never experienced before he can’t quite place a finger on it.

Just as he was about to ask questions, footsteps were heard from behind them...

Taglist:

@thequeenofpotatoeunicornss  @kceedraws @lilyreadbooks12

[adrenalineguide]

Jeep Wrangler Sport S and Mustang 2.3L Convertible: Two Fours for Summer Fun

Words and Photos By Michael Hozjan

No I’m not talking about cases of beer. I’m referring to the number of cylinders found under the hood of two American icons in the automotive landscape – the Jeep Wrangler and Mustang. Don’t scoff, four cylinders have been making a huge come back in recent years and no, these are not your grand dad’s four cylinders. Both the Jeep and the Mustang rely on turbocharging to get the extra oomph when needed all while delivering below average thirst numbers compared to their V6 and V8 counterparts. Let’s face it do we really need all that horsepower all the time and isn’t it nice to save some bucks at the pump.

Jeep Wrangler Sport: Back to its roots

“There’s something amiss here.” I tell myself as the engine comes to life. I hit the off button and check for the glow plug light, there isn’t one. For some reason the engine doesn’t sound the same, and yet there’s something eerily familiar about the sound.  I mistakenly expected the Wrangler to be diesel powered, which it was not. The diesel mill is offered in the Gladiator that I was due to drive, but at a later date. Blame it on old age or just on my eagerness to get behind the wheel of one of my favorite rides.    

Well one thing lead to another and another and before I knew it, it was several days later that I popped the hood to gaze upon the turbocharged inline 2.0L four cylinder. THAT’S what the sound was… somehow, the engineers at Jeep have managed to get the sound of the old familiar World War II era four cylinder Jeep into this modern, 80th anniversary edition Wrangler…or maybe it’s just me. One thing is certain, it doesn’t sound like the Wrangler I’ve been accustomed to.

Maybe it’s just coincidence, maybe it’s good corporate planning, with Jeep’s closest off-road capable rival, the Ford Bronco making its debut this year, Jeep has stepped up the ante, not only have they launched the Wrangler Xtreme Recon equipped with the first ever 35-inch rubber straight out of the factory, but are also offering a slew of powerplants to make any competitor nervous: beginning with this week’s tester, there’s the 2.0 L turbocharged four cylinder mated to the 8-speed TorqueFlite automatic, the trusty old 285 horsepower Pentastar 3.6L V6s remain and come with either a manual or automatic trans, there’s also a mild hybrid version mated to the 3.6L tagged the eTorque, a 3.0L EcoDiesel V6 with 442 lb-ft of torque and 260 horses and for the first time in four decades, the Wrangler gets a V8. Available exclusively (dare I say for the time being) in the Rubicon 392 trim, the 6.4L throws out 470 horses and the like amount of torque through the eight-speed TorqueFlite automatic transmission and Selec-Trac full-time active transfer case.  It blasts the Rubicon 392 to 100 km/h in less than five seconds making it the quickest Wrangler in history!

Well it appears the Jeep has come full circle with their mills, reverting back to four cylinder power to move their off roaders about. But don’t think for a minute that these are the old WWII flatheads. No sir, and not one but two count them, two four cylinders are offered. Aside from my Snazzyberry Pearl colored 2.0L turbocharged tester which pumps out 270 horses and 295 lb-ft of torque, capable of towing 2,000 lbs (907 kilos), that’s 35 more lb-ft of torque than its V6 counterpart, there’s also an electrified four cylinder that adds an electric motor. The plug in hybrid 4xe delivers 375 horses!  Stay tuned for more on this one.

Above and below: There’s nothing missing in the four that you wouldn’t find in the six.

If you’re a regular reader of my posts you’ll know that I do NOT check performance numbers or price tags before I get a feel for what the vehicle feels like. Does it feel like 300 horses, does it feel like 400 lb-ft of torque? I tend to reserve looking at the stats until after my first, second and third impression. That said, despite having 270 horses, it still seemed a bit anemic from my previous Wrangler encounters (with the V6). There’s a noticeable difference at half throttle when leaving a red light or stop sign, but that quickly disappears as you build up speed. Punch the go pedal however to wake up the turbo boost and grab on to the steering wheel. The torque kicks in and bites the tarmac like a banshee. Suddenly Jeeps decision to go with this combo makes perfect sense.

On the highway the four delivers smooth, linear power and actually feels better mated to the 8-speed automatic than the six. Passing semis or climbing grades isn’t a problem and while I didn’t get the chance to go off-roading I suspect that the added torque would be able to let this Wrangler do some serious climbing prowess without hesitation.

Of course one of the other main attributes is that the Wrangler can shed its top when the weather turns warm. With two tops available it still remains the only convertible SUV in the market.

Above: A hidden cubby hole under the trunk floor comes in handy

One of the Wrangler’s Achilles’ heals has always been it’s thirst for fuel. My best has usually been around 12L/100 kms even when feathering my foot. Well the 2.0L netted me a 9.75L/100 average, on top of which a $200 saving over the automatic trannied V6 makes getting into a Wrangler a lot easier. The Sport S starts at $45,465, my fully loaded tester came in at a substantial premium, which leads me to want to see this mill in the 2-door Wrangler variant with a manual transmission. Now that would truly be full circle. If you’ve always wanted a Wrangler but weren’t crazy about their fuel consumption Jeep has just given you several reasons why you should reconsider.

Price as tested: $62,030 *

*Includes excise tax and destination fees

Mustang 2.3L Convertible: Is this the best Mustang ever?

It’s a balmy July afternoon, the kind we wait all year long for and fantasize about from December through to March. I’m in the left lane of the 401 heading west, passing semi after semi. The sun is beaming down on me and I get to thinking how nice this thing would be for a cross-country run. Indeed it doesn’t get much better than this. There are so many semis it reminds me of the rocking chair scene in The Bandit, only I’m not driving a T-top black Firebird with a roaring V8 and Sheriff Buford T Justice chasing me, but a drop top Antimatter Blue (yes that’s the hue) Mustang with a turbocharged 2.3L four cylinder.  

For decades Ford has been grappling with the notion of having both a high performance Mustang and an economy Mustang, and yes when it first debuted there were trims that encompassed both. But over the years that concept got lost with muscle cars taking the limelight. It wasn’t until the gas crisis of ’73 that the economy car resurrected itself in the Mustang II, but in the process lost the muscle slice of the pie.

Well guess what, the 2.3L fits both bills easily. Yes diehard muscle heads may pooh pooh the thought of another four cylinder in a Mustang but they have no idea what they’re missing out on.

Pillaged from the darling all-wheel-drive Ford, the Focus RS, the 2.3L mill has been turned longitudinally to fit into the pony car. Although Ford has given the Mustang a larger twin scroll turbo, there are 18 fewer horses pulling the pony car over the RS. Torque however has been retained.  

With 310 horses and 350 lb-ft of torque on tap mated to an optional 10-speed automatic my tester galloped along without so much as missing a breadth. Thankfully Ford has retained the 6-speed manual. My unofficial timing showed zero to a hundred kilometers shot in at 4.6 seconds!  I have to say that as sweet as the four cylinder is, the exhaust note just tries to hard and gets annoying after a while.  It’s like look at me, look at me. Oh shut up! Thankfully there is a shut off switch.

My ‘stang came with the High Performance Package, a $6,500 option inherited from the Mustang GT, which meant stickier 19” Pirelli rubber over the base car’s 17” units, larger brake rotors with four piston calipers, stiffer springs, a beefier rear sway bar, strut tower brace, a larger rad, a 3.55:1 limited slip diff. In other words, all the right stuff to make this a serious tourer.    

Above and below: Top up or top down the Mustang looks great. Front spoiler is part of the High  Performance Package.

Another plus for the four-cylinder argument is better balanced shedding 147kilos (auto trans) off its front axle. The result is a crisper handling ride with a nominal amount of body roll, less nosedive under hard braking. Switching driving modes from Normal to Sport mode for attacking the lakeside twisties shows the car’s true potential with the engine’s responsiveness hitting the sweet spot over 2,500 rpm and the fun factor sans V8.  

This would make an interesting track car.

Inside you get all the usual fan fare of goodies including cooling and heated power leather seats.  The hi-po package adds an oil pressure and turbo boost gauge and engine spun aluminum instrument panel. Fit and finish is spot on with comfortable buckets making the drive that much more enjoyable.

Above: Despite what it looks like my 6’ frame spent several hours back there in a friend’s convert for a three-hour trip to the Syracuse Nationals a few years back without a single complaint.

Like the Jeep the Mustang doesn’t come cheap. While the base price is a very reasonable $43,370, my tester’s option list added another $11,800 to the price tag. Stepping up to the $6,500 high performance package is a no brainer, especially if you’re a serious driver, but while the 10-speed is perfectly matched to the engine and responds wonderfully to throttle inputs I’d go with the 6-speed manual and trim $1,750 off the tag. Other options included $1,000 AM/FM/CD/HD radio, $2,300 for adaptive cruise, voice activated touch screen navigation and the Ford Safe & Smart package.

In a move I just don’t understand is the spare tire/wheel has been relegated to option status! In its place is a compressor - just the ticket for a bent rim, blow out or flat in the middle of nowhere on a dark rainy night. Come on Ford!

Yes the Mustang buyer has a number of trims and powerplants to opt for all the way to the 100 grand Shelby GT500 but really, wouldn’t you rather have a car that hits all the right fun buttons without breaking the bank while still passing a gas station or two ( I averaged 10.7L/100 km). Oh and let’s not forget the savings on the insurance premium on the four cylinder So shrug the V8 monkey off your back and hit the road in a four.

Price as tested:  $56,970*

*Includes destination charges

[nightfurylover31]

My Favorite Episodes of Miraculous (Season 2)

The Collector 

We got to know more about Master Fu, and officially confirm Gabriel was Hawkmoth (poor Adrien). Forbidding his son to go to school over a book was terrible, but I got to admit it was pretty ingenious to akumatize himself to avoid suspicion. But Cat Noir’s reaction to his father being his archenemy was intense. We don’t see him that serious very often. All in all, a good way to start off the season.  

Befana

Love learning more about Marinette’s family. And how all her friends tried to protect her too was really sweet. Cat Noir and Ladybug singing along was cute. And turns out Adrien kept the charm Marinette gave him in “Gamer,” and even made one for her. Even Tikki gave Marinette a gift. And I read that the kwagatama will play an important role in the future. 

Gigantitan

Hawkmoth dealing with a baby. Enough said. But seriously, it was hilarious to see him react like that. I’m guessing that means he didn’t take care of Adrien that much when he was a baby. But we at least know our sunshine boy will be a great dad one day. Also, so sweet for all the girl to support Marinette and help her out. 

Glaciator 

Mostly for the Balcony Scene. It was great seeing them interact in different identities. Both Marinette and Cat Noir were heartbroken when their crushes didn’t show up, but little do they know, they did get to spend time together. A good way to expand their friendship. Watching Ladybug tell the truth to Cat Noir that she’s in love with someone else, he could’ve taken it worse, but he can accept her friendship for now. And André, I don’t know why he gets so much salt. He’s a big hearted character, and it really does seem like he can pick up on love. He was able to figure out the colors that matched Marinette and Adrien’s crushes. I give him points for that. 

Sapotis 

Alya joins the team as Rena Rouge! So cool, much better Volpina. I get why she didn’t want to give up on being a superhero, but she made the right decision in the end, thanks to Trixx. And now she gained more respect for keeping Ladybug’s identity a secret. And her interactions with Cat Noir were great too. He loves the extra sass. 

Gorizilla

You know, watching this after seeing “Chat Blanc” just makes me go ‘GRR!’ at Gabriel. He finally tries to figure out if his son is Cat Noir. Don’t give us than “worried father” act when we now know you would home run him into the Eiffel Tower! We got a good amount of Adrientte in this episode, and some Ladrien. So cute!! And the trust that they have in each other is amazing. I got to say though, Wayem gave off serious creeper vibes. And people think Marinette’s obsessed; okay she is, but at least she doesn’t get in Adrien’s face about it. And poor Gorilla. He’s the only one in Adrien’s household that truly cares enough about him. 

Captain Hardrock

This is mostly because we get to meet Luka for the first time. He’s so sweet, he is easy to fall in love with. 

Frightningale 

The rhyming and dancing were great, but not as much as Marinette and Adrien freaking out about playing Ladybug and Cat Noir. They were so adorably awkward! What if Plagg was right and no one did recognize them? XD Even when forced to sing, dance and rhyme, Ladybug and Cat Noir are a perfect team. 

Zombizou 

Normally I hate zombie stuff, but I like this one. First time Marinette is almost akumatized, and the first time we see someone try to resist. It was really sweet when Nino chose to stay beside Alya even though she was already infected. And how Ladybug didn’t want to leave Cat Noir either. Chloe had a nice realization moment at near the end, but then she went back to her old ways. Good for Marinette to try to support her for that though.

Anansi 

More NinoXAlya moments, and now Nino is Carapace! Seeing Anansi lose her patience with Hawkmoth was pretty funny. And aww, Cat Noir was a bit insecure at the thought of Ladybug replacing him. Fortunately she told he was irreplaceable, and he is. 

Sandboy

We got to see a ton of Plagg and Tikki, and interacting with each other and the other Kwamis. I can’t wait to see what the others can do. It was cool seeing that Marinette and Adrien have different fears depending on if they’re superheroes or not, and both have fears of scarier versions of the one they love. And I love how both Tikki and Plagg said that they’re the best owners they ever had. It was a cool twist we got a super villain that we knew nothing about. 

Mayura (Heroes’ Day Part 2)

The French Superhero Team was awesome! Epic battle! But soon it was back down to our dynamic duo. That “You and me against the world, M’lady!” gets me every time! Adrien/Cat Noir always knows just wha to say to get her confidence back. And seeing the citizen of Paris join was amazing! We finally got a LB & CN VS Hawkmoth battle! Now that Natalie has joined his side, things are going to get hard. MARINETTE FINALLY KISSED ADRIEN *on the cheek*! But that’s still something. And his speech for her was so sweet. He really appreciates her. A nice wrap up!

[kittyandbugaboo]

Miraculer

I really enjoyed this episodes, it’s probably one of my favorite of the entire series

Plot and likes:

•Ladynoir chilling just talking about superhero things on the Eiffel Tower, we Stan

• Chloe saying no

Chloe did something to have never successfully been done in mlb before: she stopped herself from being akumatized

•we got to see the nice side of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship, I was happy to see it wasn’t just Chloe hurting Sabrina

•Nino and Alya are badass in and out of costume, they’re the most badass couple at the moment (Sorry love square but youre not cannon yet)

•i was kinda expecting Viperion but I wasn’t disappointed just a little surprised

•Sabrina character has changed a lot, one of my favorite scene was her mocking LB, iconic.

•Chloe made so many great decisions, she refused hawkmoth soccer to join him & accepted her retirement (for now) as Queen Bee

•miraculers ability to steal miraculous powers was awesome

•the animation was amazing

•i loved the zooms and the wide shots whether they would turn the camera it was “shot” (animated) so well, I loved it !

•Mayura being back was so cool

•okay but the sentient thing (i forgot what they called it) was animated so well in my opinion and I think this new trend they’re being in of this combination of hawkmoth and maduras powers is so good

•i actually liked seeing Nino,Alya, Mari, and Sabrina with Chloe and Adrien as they talked because it shows this powerful friendship dynamic

•i loved how they utilized Lila

In my last post I said I didn’t think they would use the Lila’s and hawkmoth working together storyline much but I was clearly wrong, hopefully they’ll keep doing it because the order of events and manipulation was so interesting to watch

•Obiviously they’re evil but... I thought Gabriel and Nathalie just casually talking about their alter egos and stuff was fun to watch

•so that’s what happens when a human is catacylsymed ? Honestly I was scared what happened in the last misfortune illusion would happen where he turns to dust so I wonder was Sabrina controlling the level of destruction or is that always what happens to a human? Or maybe it was because of his suit?

All in all this episode was done spectacularly, from the animation to the plot to its place in the story of the series to even being its own stand alone episode was so good. It gave even more insight on characters and their connections and ahhh I loved it all.

Dislikes:

•i honestly can’t really think of much

•It moved a bit fast but come on they’re working in 20 minutes so that’s not their fault at all

•i wish we would’ve had cat noir comment on Sabrina’s cat noir costume but again short time so whatevs it’s cool

All in all 10/10, like i said one of the best episodes in the series and It was very satisfying as a long time viewer who was beginning to fade away from the show

[fruitful-blogger]

BITES of Spider Life! (Chapter 2)

Inspired by the BEAUTIFUL Sanders Sides/Spiderverse AU by @ask-spiderverse-virgil and @sugarglider9603!

Summary:

When you’re bitten by a genetically-altered and probably radioactive spider, things in life tend to get a little complicated. Follow Virgil Storm, Roman Marigold, Logan Quinn, Patton Foster, and a whole slew of other spider-people and spider-related people as they deal with life, love, and the occasional robot army trying to take over New York.

Just another Tuesday for our teenage Spiderlings.

(Fluff and Slices of Life!)

Read from the beginning (Ao3)

Chapter 2: It’s a Playdate (Ao3)

           “So you brought us with not to go to the ACTUAL meeting but to hang out with the other kids?” Virgil, as Spidergale, threw to Thomas, currently dressed as Rainbow Weaver. In fact, all of them where in their Spider gear as they swung onto the landing jutting out from Stark Towers, otherwise known as New York’s Avengers’ headquarters. “What is this? A playdate?”

           “Look SHIELD has some news, and you know I’ll give you guys the rundown on what’s important after. Mostly it’s just us getting nagged about property damage.” Thomas threw as he waved his hand.

           “I’m SO SORRY about that building last week!” Love Bite, aka Patton, threw, his lenses cocked as he looked so sad. Really, their masks were good with expressions.

           “Love Bite, you were THROWN INTO A BUILDING!” Arachne, aka Logan, threw. “They do NOT blame you for that!”

           “And if they did, they’d have to talk to these fists first!” Royal Slinger, the last of their quartet of Spiderlings, threw in an ever so Roman way.

           “And you sent a card to the building manager. They probably get it and have insurance for that.” Thomas assured as he rubbed Patton’s head, mushing his cap ever so slightly. “Now, yes, unfortunately some of the higher ups are a bit prickly about kids and meetings. Some of the other protégés occasionally come, and, as much as I love and appreciate you guys, I think you need more friends than just each other.”

           “I mean, maybe Logan and Virgil…” Roman trailed off before his boyfriend swatted him. “HEY! It’s true!”

           “ANYWAY!” Thomas cut in once more, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Just… don’t blow anything up. If there’s an emergency, the building is hooked up with an AI known as JARVIS. Our normal communications won’t work in the tower, but he’s been told to interrupt the meeting should something go awry.”

           Logan’s extra arms came out to hold out a small device. “Would you at least endeavor to record it? I feel like I can pick out things better from a first-hand reading.”

           “Sorry, kid, but that won’t work in here.” The Spiders turned as Tony Stark stepped out onto the veranda, band shirt and blazer perfectly matching his glasses that likely cost more than Thomas’ rent. “My tech will auto nuke it on entry, but if your nice, I might be swayed to share my personal logs.”

           “Isn’t that not allowed?” Patton questioned.

           A voice snorted behind Tony. It was now that the five noticed a second figure on the roof. The person, as opposed to Tony, was no older than his late teens, early twenties, with brown hair and clothes that would be more normally worn on one of the spiderlings in their alter egos – he wore washed out jeans, a Columbia t-shirt, and a plain navy hoodie, a Stark pad in one arm as a keycard was clipped to his side. “Tony hacked the system a while ago. JARVIS stores a copy on a local drive that only Tony and I can get a hold of.” The kid stepped forward and waved. “Oh, yeah, hi, I’m Peter.”

           Tony threw an arm around the kid. “Spider runts, meet Underoos – he’s one of the best scientists I got in this place. Give him a few years, and he might be as smart as me.”

           Peter blushed at the praise. “Aw, Mister Stark-”

           “Seriously, kid? I’ve known you for years. It’s TO-NY.” Tony turned to Thomas. “You remember the kid, right?”

           “Yeah, you gave me a bunch of vines to watch last time.” Thomas chuckled. “Still haven’t gotten through them all yet.”

           Peter nodded sagely. “Well, I’m the designated ‘person under 25’ today, so I’m gonna be taking you guys around the tower. Squirrel Girl and Ms. Marvel are already here, but I think most of the others are out on team missions or whatever.” Peter shrugged. “I’ll get the brief later.”

           “You have access to those systems?” Logan approached.

           “Eh… ‘Access’ is a relative term.” Peter waved his hands. “Now, ‘hacking,’ hacking is a better descriptor.”

           “I taught him well.” Tony said, ignoring Patton’s chide at how hacking wasn’t right. “Now, Weaver, we got a meeting to be fashionably late to. You know how old eyepatch gets.”

           “Yeah, yeah.” Thomas waved before turning to his kids. “Now, be good and listen to Peter. This should be a couple of hours, and, PLEASE, don’t blow anything up.”

           “No promises, boss man.” Virgil gave a salute.

           Thomas sighed as he followed Tony. With their enhanced hearing, the boys definitely heard Thomas muttering to the other man about ‘kids these days’ and ‘I love my boys but I want to strangle them’ and other normal terms of love.

           “So I kind of already know which of you is which.” Peter said as he pulled out four keycards from his pocket. “You guys are going to need these.”

           “Oh? Will they allow us entry into the building?” Logan questioned as he took one.

           Peter snorted. “JARVIS’ face recognition software is better than any keycard. We mostly use these as a bait and switch in case anyone tries to steal our stuff. Don’t tell anyone that, though. These cards just basically get you free snacks at the vending machines.”

           “SHOULD you be telling us this?” Virgil questioned, eye quirked. “I mean, you just met us.”

           “Call it my personal spider sense.” Peter shrugged. “I’m good at reading people, and you guys seem alright.” Peter didn’t add that he had top security clearance, up there with Tony and Pepper, and had run background checks on them all. He’d been a bit less prying then his mentor, though, and had JARVIS blur names and faces. He got the basics, though. Each spider kid was unique, around his age (a bit younger, actually), and were good in their own right. Heck, Love Bite stopped on random street corners to help school children and old people cross the road.

           Peter led the charge, and, of course, Logan was asking questions as they walked in. Logan was, by far, the smartest of the four, but Peter was surprising them by being a match for his intellect. Patton was startled by JARVIS greeting them when they walked in, but soon enough the AI and the teen were chatting up a storm. Roman, for all his gags at things like science and math, was actually quite good and intrigued by it, so he was looking all about with Virgil, pointing out things that looked cool and getting layman explanations of things from Peter.

           “So how does the whole… spider thing work?” Peter asked to the group as they passed a wall of armors. “Like, do you guys make your own web? Does it come out of…” He gestured to his behind.

           Virgil snorted as he nudged Logan. “Yeah, Arachne, does it come out down…” Spidergale found webbing over his mouth, courtesy of his best friend. Virgil let off a noise of protest as he scrambled at his mask to remove the muffle or move up the mask.

           “I myself, as well as Love Bite, have the ability to generate organic webbing from our wrists, but we tend to rely more on web shooters. Using organic webbing extensively can be draining and requires Love Bite and I to consume more calories when doing so.” Logan pulled off his glove and rolled down his sleeve slightly to reveal the device. “Weaver made the initial designs and prototypes. He also uses them. We’ve fit them with other devices in the mean time, like vocal communicator, tracking systems, and what not.”

           “I came up with the best kinds of snacks to deal with the hunger.” Love Bite nodded as he pulled out some wrapped cookies. “Want one?”

           Peter eyed the cookies. “Am I safe to eat one? I’m not superhuman.”

           “Oh! Wait…” Patton stuffed the cookies back into one pouch and pulled a new set from another. “These are just sugar cookies. We do a lot of patrolling, and snacks are important!”

           Roman pulled on Virgil’s mask, managing to dislodge the webbing. “Patton is a really good baker.” The emo noted as he leaned over to help Roman off the ground.

           Peter took the cookie before hesitantly taking a bite.

           His eyes blew wide.

           “I need, like, a million of these.” He said with great awe. “These are amazing. They’re awesome. Did you put something in this?”

           “Love and sugar, kiddo!” Patton confirmed before sticking a few cookies at each of them.

           “LB I’m not…” Virgil tried to say, but he found his mask jerked up slightly to reveal his mouth just as a cookie was stuffed in. It wasn’t even a regular one – it was one of the superhuman high protein high sugar ones Patton made.

           “Nope!” Patton chided. “Grandma told me that all you had was an apple today!”

           Virgil took a bite as he grabbed the cookie. “How did you know?”

           “She and all the other old ladies put me in their baking group chat.”

           Peter licked his fingers. “So the rumor is true? That you guys are Weaver’s kids?”

           The group snorted. “Yeah… that was a thing.” Roman smiled. “While Weaver is like the weird combination of dad and older brother, none of us are actually related. I mean, unless the spider venom changed our DNA and made us more related? Is that, like, a thing or just something in comics?”

           “The circumstances that gave us four our powers was similar to Weaver, but it was still separate. In short, we each were exposed to venomous chemicals of an altered spider that resulted in each of our power development.” Logan explained.

           “I arguably got the best powers.” Roman threw.

           The other spiders rolled their eyes.

           “We all have the same basic powers.” Virgil explained. “Wall sticking, enhanced strength, spider sense, etc. Arachne has a little less stick, so he uses his legs for extra grab. Also the web thing.” Virgil shot a web off into a corner.

           “We each have little cool powers, too! But they’re not really all there.” Patton explained. “Like I can pick up on surface thoughts of animals, but it comes and goes. Spidergale turned invisible once! That was really cool!”

           “Ro- uh, Royal Slinger blew out the speakers of our school’s speakers a few times.”

           “My voice is a beautiful weapon.”

           “Arachne’s also the fastest. Like, really fast.” The emo added last.

           Peter let off a whistle. “That’s pretty insane guys. I’d love me some super powers, but I think I’m stuck toying with armor in the mean time. Jar, don’t tell Mr. Stark about this, but I’m trying to compress an arc reactor to make it possible to charge a mobile suit of some sort.”

           “Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Parker.” JARVIS confirmed.

           “Just don’t jump into it feet first, dude.” Roman warned, wincing in memory of his first attempt at being a hero. Gods, his outfit was UG-LY back then. “You have, like, Iron Man to show you the ropes first. Rainbow Weaver has been the best in training us, and, even if I hate to admit it sometimes, we’d all be squished by now without him.”

           “Royal Slinger? Admitting he’s not immortal?” Spidergale joked.

           “A prince must know his limitations… so that he can overcome them!” The red spider defended.

           Peter thought about it before nodding. “I’ll think about it. Mr. Stark is a bit protective is all.”

           “And you think Weaver isn’t?” The emo threw before they all started sharing horror/hilarious stories about times Weaver had saved their asses in the most dad ways.

           They took an express elevator about 50 floors up before the doors opened, four spider senses going off at once as they hit the deck, grabbing Peter with them. A disk shot over them, bouncing off the interior of the elevator wall before Logan caught it with his legs. “Whoops! Sorry!” The five looked up to see a girl with a massive, stretched out form begin to shrink as JARVIS paused the practice. Off to another side, a girl with a squirrel ear headband and a massive squirrel tail waved, a number of little squirrels around her.

           “Hi Pete!” The animal girl waved. “Oh, hey! It’s the spider brigade! Hi!” The girl scampered over, one squirrel with a bow on her shoulder, a big grin on her face. She exhumed what the boys affectionately called ‘Patton energy.’ “So, I’m Squirrel Girl, this is Ms. Marvel, and this is Tippy-Toe!” She introduced in rapid succession.

           Patton leapt up. “Hello! I’m Love Bite, that’s Royal Slinger, this is Arachne, and this is Spidergale! Oh, and this is Peter!”

           “I know Peter!” Squirrel Girl replied.

           “Oh, sorry! Oh my gosh, your squirrels are SO CUTE! Can I pet them?”

           “Tippy-Toe loves petting!” As she said this, the squirrel on her shoulder leapt to Patton as the boy screeched in pure joy, gently petting the squirrel with pure adoration.

           Ms. Marvel made her way over as she picked up the disk with an enlarged hand. “We got bored and decided to goof off.”

           “That’s a mood.” Peter and Virgil said at the same time before looking at each other, grinning.

           “Ms. Marvel?” Roman asked, stepping forward. “Ok, so this might be a rumor, but I heard you can shapeshift.”

           “Mm-hm!” She said, setting down the disk and shifting into Royal Slinger. “I’m a polymorph!” She stated in her own voice before clearing her throat. “How do I look?” She struck a pose with Roman’s voice now.

           Virgil blinked between the two before turning to Logan. “Slap me. I’m having a nightmare.”

           “Hey!” Roman threw, but Ms. Marvel already shifted to appear like Spidergale. Roman was enamored. “You. You would be FANTASTIC in the school play! Can you act? Please say yes.”

           That was how Roman and Kamala were left, acting out favorite TV scenes and talking about superhero stuff (not, like, serious stuff but more ‘did you see Cyclops last week that outfit was HIDIOUS!’). Patton was currently covered in squirrels and designing crazy playgrounds off the walls with webbing.

           That left Peter, Virgil, and Logan.

           Peter turned to the two. “Wanna blow something up?”

           The two introverts shared a look.

           “Yes.”

           “Mr. Stark, Mr. Weaver.” JARVIS interrupted what Thomas was deciding was the most BORING meeting of his life. Seriously, they weren’t even covering whatever Doctor Doom or the Skrulls anymore but TAXES and PUBLIC IMAGE and BLAH BLAHDY BLAH! He was a wholesome gay hero he shouldn’t have to deal with taxes. This was some homophobic BS (as he kept telling himself, trying not to daydream too much about MJ or planning a new video and miss the whole meeting).

           “Hold up, Cabbage Patch.” Tony threw to the guy with ridiculously curly hair and a pressed suit on the screen. He was definitely a bureaucrat first and foremost. “What’s up, JAR?”

           “I would like to inform you that Protocol Baby Alarm has been triggered. It has also come to involve Mr. Weaver’s protégés, Spidergale and Arachne.” JARVIS intoned.

           “Well, shit, I guess I gotta deal with that.” Tony threw as he stood. “You don’t mind, Cap? Fury? Gotta make sure a civilian like my people are taken care of. Kinda serious.”

           Serious??? Weaver stood up, full of concern. “Wait, what’s the Baby Protocal? What happened?”

           “I’ll explain on the way.” Tony nodded as he easily walked out. Thomas abandoned his chair with little fanfare, worry and panic in his veins. His spider sense hadn’t gone off, and his gut (aka his ‘dad’ sense) hadn’t told him something was wrong. Tony walked quietly down the hall, humming something ACDC until they reached the elevator.

           Once the doors closed, Thomas felt like he was about to crawl out of his skin. “What’s the Baby Alarm? Tony, what happened? Are my kids ok?”

           Tony looked over before snorting. “JARVIS, pull me up a feed.”

           On the elevator doors, a holographic screen showed a room absolutely COVERED in spider web, the epicenter a mess of plastic, scorch marks, and more web. The camera panned to show Peter stuck to the floor, Logan trying to dislodge his legs from a wall, and Virgil… well, Virgil seemed to be stuck to the ceiling somehow. Soon, four other kids, including his missing spiders, ran in. Roman started laughing, even with the sound muted, and Patton began fussing over Logan.

           Then he got stuck.

           “Protocal Baby Alarm AKA Peter blew something up again, nothing’s actually broken, but now I have an excuse to leave a boring meeting.” Tony grinned as Thomas clutched his chest, his heart slowing. Everyone was alright.

           In so much trouble, but alright.

           “I TOLD them not to blow anything up!” Thomas threw.

           Tony laughed. “My kid’s a sweetie, but he can be a terrible influence.”

           “He seemed so innocent.”

           “Oh, he is.” Tony nodded as the door opened. “He gets the blow shit up bit from me. JARVIS? Can I get some blue prints on whatever they were doing? Or, hell, can we just get some bots to scrape them off?”

           Thomas cracked his neck as the biochemical components appeared on a holographic display that led them. At least he remembered enough of this gibboly goop from his chemical engineering degree. “Looks like they messed with the webbing formula… again.”

           “Again?”

           “Royal Slinger and Arachne can get very… creative with my original formula. Slinger always wants to make it gayer, and Arachne still hasn’t figured out how I get the coloring just right.”

           Tony laughed. Yeah, their kids would get along swell.

[emmaswritingdump]

Blue Like Your Eyes

Words: 2103

Pairing: Ladynoir

AO3 // Wattpad

Summary: Ladybug and Chat Noir play the 21 questions game, and Marinette has a startling revelation.

She wasn’t quite sure why she had agreed to it.

They had been patrolling the city for an hour or so, but they hadn’t run into anything that required their help. No akumas, no bank robberies, no muggings- not even a little old lady to help across the street.

The city was asleep tonight.

So, they decided to take a break and talk for a while.

They were sitting on top of the Centre Pompidou, their legs hanging off the side, when Chat suddenly turned his head toward her and said, “hey, do you want to play the 21 questions game?”

She shook her head. “You know I don’t like revealing too much about my civilian life.”

“It doesn’t have to get that personal,” he insisted. “I just… I don’t know, like, anything about you, y’know? And I get that you don’t like sharing stuff that could lead to me finding out who you are, and I’m okay with that. But I consider you a good friend, and I want to get to know you better.” He stuck out his bottom lip. “Please?”

After a moment, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. But I’m not answering anything that’s too personal.”

“Awesome,” Chat said with a grin, pulling his legs up onto the roof and turning his whole body to face her. “Okay, um, what’s your civilian name?”

“Chat, I just said-“

“I’m kidding,” he laughed. “Jeez, LB. You’re so high-strung sometimes.”

She huffed. “I am not.”

“Okay, okay,” he said, thinking. “Uh, what’s your favorite thing to do for fun?”

“Probably sewing,” Ladybug answered.

“Ooh, milady’s creative, huh?”

Ladybug scowled. “Shut up. It’s my turn. What’s your favorite TV show?”

Chat hummed thoughtfully. “Probably Naruto.”

Ladybug snorted. “You watch anime?”

“Yes, I do,” Chat said matter-of-factly. “And I’m not ashamed of it.”

“Is that where you learned all that flirting that you do?”

In the moonlight, she thought she noticed his cheeks turn just slightly pink. “Maybe.”

She laughed. “Okay your turn.”

“All right. What made you start sewing?”

She bit her lower lip as she thought about her answer. “Well, I’ve always been interested in fashion, and a few years ago, I started learning to sew so that I could bring my designs to life.”

Chat beamed. “That’s so awesome.”

Ladybug smiled and turned her head away from him. “So, who’s your favorite musical artist?”

“Probably Jagged Stone.”

Ladybug’s face lit up. “Really? He’s my favorite, too!”

Chat grinned. “Well, great minds think alike. Okay, um, since you’re into fashion, who- um- who’s your favorite designer?”

Ladybug glanced at him with a furrowed brow. “Why all the fashion-related questions?”

Chat shrugged. “I’m interested in your interests.”

She looked away from him. “Okay, um, I’d have to say Gabriel Agreste.”

She heard a sort of choking noise and looked over at Chat, whose eyes had gone wide. “R- really?”

“Yeah,” Ladybug said. “He’s awesome. I would do anything to get a job with him.”

Chat nodded stiffly. “That- that’s cool. Uh, that’s that one guy’s dad, right? What’s his name- Adrien Agreste?”

Ladybug nodded, looking away from her partner once again as a small smile formed on her face. “Yeah. The model.”

“Right. Uh, he’s pretty cool, huh?”

“Yeah, he is. Anyway, it’s my turn to ask you something. Um, what’s your favorite color?”

She looked back at him and saw his expression soften as he smiled fondly at her.

“Blue,” he said. “Want to know why?”

“Why?”

He leaned toward her a bit, and she felt her pace quicken at his sudden closeness. “Because it reminds me of your eyes.”

She froze, and she could feel her face heating up. “That- that’s so cheesy.”

“Yeah, but you have to admit, it was good.”

She scowled, trying to calm her inexplicably racing heart. “It was okay.”

“Did it make you fall in love with me?”

She felt the tiniest pang in her chest. “Is that your question?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

“No, that dumb comment didn’t make me fall in love with you.”

He tutted. “Well, I guess my plan failed. That’s okay, though; I’ll get you to fall for me someday.” He turned and winked a green eye at her.

She swallowed. “Good luck with that, kitty.”

***

Marinette lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“What’s going on with me, Tikki?” she asked after a long silence.

“What’s wrong?” her kwami squeaked in response.

“When I was talking to Chat tonight, something weird happened.”

“What was it?”

Marinette furrowed her brow and sat up to look at her kwami. “Chat was flirting- as usual- and I just… I don’t know. My heart started beating really fast, and my face felt really hot, and…” she pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. “Hey, come here and feel my face. Does it feel like I have a fever?”

Tikki floated toward her chosen and felt her face. “No, you don’t feel any warmer than usual.”

“Are you sure? I think I must be sick.”

“Do you feel sick?”

Marinette thought about it. “I mean, I already told you about the heart thing and feeling hot, but there’s also this weird feeling in my stomach? Like, I don’t exactly feel nauseated or anything, but- I don’t know- my stomach just feels weird.”

“You mean like… butterflies in your stomach?”

Marinette shook her head. “No. I mean, yeah, that’s what it feels like, but that’s not what it is.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because there’s no reason for me to have butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t spoken to Adrien since yesterday.”

“No,” Tikki said slowly. “But you have spoken to Chat Noir.”

“So what?”

“So… maybe Chat Noir gave you those butterflies.”

Marinette furrowed her brow. “That doesn’t make any sense. I don’t have a crush on Chat Noir.”

Tikki took a deep, patient breath. “Are you sure?”

Marinette laughed. “Of course I’m sure. I have a crush on Adrien.”

“It’s not impossible to crush on two people at once, you know.”

“I know,” Marinette said. “But… it’s Chat. He’s my friend.”

“Adrien is your friend.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “That’s different.”

“Why? What makes it different?”

“Chat’s my partner. If we were together and got into a fight or something, that could screw us up in battle.”

“Crushing on someone is a feeling, Marinette,” Tikki said. “It doesn’t matter if it’s logical or practical. You don’t think about it; you just feel it in your heart.”

“And I don’t feel it in my heart,” Marinette insisted.

“Are you sure?”

Marinette threw her hands up in exasperation. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because, honestly, I think that maybe you’re too blinded by your feelings for Adrien to see how you feel about the boy who’s been chasing after you for three years.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! It is!”

“Okay,” Tikki said. “Then tell me about Chat Noir.”

Marinette furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“Tell me about him,” Tikki repeated. “Tell me about his personality. Tell me about what you like about him and what you dislike about him.”

“Why?”

Tikki sighed. “Just humor me.”

Marinette huffed and lay back down on her bed. “Okay, he… he’s really flirty, and he tells a lot of bad puns. He’s brave and a good fighter.”

“Okay. What do you dislike about him?”

“Well, he tells too many puns. And he flirts too much. And he can be kind of reckless sometimes… but he always comes through.”

“Now, what do you like about him?”

Marinette thought about it. “He’s… dependable. He always has my back, and I always know I can trust him. He… can be funny sometimes. And he’s really sweet. He… he always puts everyone else before himself during akuma attacks, and I’ve lost track of how many times he’s sacrificed himself to save me. And… I don’t know. I can tell there’s something more to him than what he shows me, y’know? Like, yeah, he’s a flirt, but he’s so much more than that. But it’s not like he’s pretending to be something he’s not- I think he’s being himself, just not his whole self, if that makes any sense. He’s just showing me the part of him that makes him seem… I don’t know. Cooler? Less vulnerable? I don’t know. But… even with all his goofing around, I know he cares about me.” Marinette felt herself smile softly to herself, and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach coming to life again. “He does this cute little thing where he-“ Marinette’s eyes went wide and she sat bolt upright in her bed. “Holy crap,” she breathed. “Did I just say something Chat Noir does is cute?”

“Yep,” Tikki said, nodding.

The realization hit her like a truck. “Tikki, I… I think I might have a crush on Chat Noir.”

The small red kwami smiled triumphantly.

***

Ladybug arrived early for their next patrol. She hadn’t been able to focus very well on anything in the past two days since her shocking revelation.

So, she found herself waiting apprehensively at the top of the Eiffel Tower an hour before their agreed-upon time.

After about half an hour of waiting, she heard Chat land behind her and turned around to look at him.

“You’re early,” she commented.

“And you’re even earlier,” he responded, quirking an eyebrow. “I’m always early to patrols- you’re always right on time. What’s up?”

She huffed and crossed her arms. “How did you do it?”

He furrowed his brow. “What?”

“How did- how did you-“ she sighed, feeling her cheeks grow warm. “How did you make me fall for you?”

He stared at her and blinked. “What?”

“I- I’ve never even thought about you that way until the other day, but… you did it. How?”

“Are you saying… you’ve fallen for me?”

“Yes, dummy,” she said, her face burning at this point. “And frankly, I’m not quite sure how you did it, because I’ve been madly in love with a guy from my school for three years, and I honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever get over him, but now all of a sudden, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Chat grinned. “You can’t stop thinking about me?”

“Don’t rub it in,” Ladybug scowled. She knew her face had to be as red as her suit by now.

Chat smiled widely and took a few steps toward her. “I… I can’t believe this.”

She huffed, her heart beginning to race. “Neither can I.”

He let out a laugh and stepped closer to her. “Please, bugaboo.” Her heart thudded at the sound of the familiar nickname. “You act all tough, but I know you like me. You just admitted that you’ve fallen for me, after all.”

The butterflies had returned to her stomach, and she felt like her heart was going to explode from her chest. “Yes, okay? I… I do like you.”

He took a final step toward her, and they were now mere inches apart. She could feel his warm breath on her face, and as he got closer, she could tell that his cheeks were a deep shade of red, too.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he confessed in a quiet voice, gently putting his hand under her chin and tilting her head up to meet his eyes.

Then he kissed her.

He was softer and gentler than she would have imagined. His lips were warm, and as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her body closer to his, she felt safe. She could tell from the kiss that he was probably just as inexperienced as she was, and when she moved a hand to rest on his chest, she could feel his heart thudding just as violently as hers.

They broke apart after a minute or so, their foreheads and bodies remaining pressed together.

Chat grinned giddily down at her, not opening his eyes. “This is the best day of my life,” he confessed, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

A tiny smile grew on her face. Here she was, wrapped in the arms of the boy she had been fighting crime with for years. This was Chat Noir, her partner, one of her best friends… and, maybe soon, her boyfriend.

One of her hands came up to ruffle his messy blond hair gently, and his eyes opened to meet hers as he smiled at her. She was stunned by how much pure admiration and love she could see in his gorgeous green eyes.

In that moment, she decided that green was her new favorite color.

[baneismydragon]

Draw me Like one of your French Girls... Part 1

This fic is dedicated to @yunyin who was a big part of bringing it about in the first place ^_^  (Warning some spoilers for ML Season 2- (Just the stuff we knew during the hiatus nothing important from the new episodes) 

“Listen furball, I am ten times as sexy as you are. That is just a fact. People would pay to see pictures of me.”

“People DO pay to see pictures of me,” Chat shot back.

“What?”

“Never mind,” he grumbled, “the point is that I am obviously the sexier of the two of us.”

“Guys, I know this is a slow patrol night but you are giving me a headache,” Rena Rougue sighed, dropping down onto the platform and sprawling onto her stomach against the cool metal of the tower.

“Wait,” Chat said with a terrifying grin, “Rena. My dear, darling, friend.”

“Oh this can’t end well.”

“You are a fox of impeccable taste are you not?”

“Maybe.”

“And you are an excellent judge of both male and female attractiveness as well, are you not?”

“Ladybug is the hottest out of all of you,” she smirked, not bothering to get up.

“Yes, that is a given, but the point is-”

“The point is that I could pull off sexy far better than this mangy stray,” Bee interrupted.

“Could not.”

“Will you two please just stop fighting, it’s been too hot to deal with this level of stupid,” Rena sighed.

“It’s not stupid, my honor is at stake!” Bee huffed. “If you want us to stop then tell him that I clearly would be better suited to being a sex icon than he would.”

“Foxy lady, please tell Bee that she is clearly pollinating the wrong flower.”

Rena groaned. Clearly there would be no reasoning with the two of them until this had been hashed out.

“Fine I will judge your stupid contest. We just get a picture of each of you and then we can decide who wins.”

Both of her partners eyes light up with an unholy gleam and then turned to face each other with a terrifying intensity.

“Ground rules-” Chat said, “sketches only, no color, has to be done in 48 hours.”

“Agreed. Also no professionals, they are too easily bribed.” Bee shot back.  

“Um...Guys…”

“Agreed.” Chat plowed on. “Realism only no alternate styles.”

“Like I want some anime portrait you weeb.”

“Says the girl who marathoned Mai-Hime last weekend.” “I told you that in confidence you mangy cat! You are so going down.” Bee glowered lifting off the ground in irritation, her wings fluttering.

“You wish,” Chat purred.

“GUYS!”

“We meet back here in 48 hours and Foxy and LB vote on the winner.” Chat said, pulling out his baton and twirling it for good measure.

“Deal. See you then whiskers.”

And before Rena Rouge could even get another word out, both of her partners had disappeared into the night.

“I meant we could just take a picture on my phone…” she muttered into the silence. She didn’t look forward to explaining this to Ladybug before patrol on Sunday.

~~~

Marinette stretched as she finally stood up from her sewing table. She felt bad about having ditched out on patrol, but she had really needed to get this dress done for her aunt.

Besides it wasn’t like her partners couldn’t handle a night on their own.

“Well Tikki I think I am going to head to-”

She stopped talking as she heard a soft repetitive tapping against her skylight.

Well that couldn’t be a good sign.

She nodded to Tikki who quickly darted into her hiding spot in one of Marinette’s plants, and hurried up the ladder to her loft to let Chat into the room.

“Hey, stranger,” she teased, “so what brings you to my side of town? Don’t you guys usually have patrols on Fridays?”

“Been keeping up with the Ladyblog I see,” Chat said, dropping down onto the bed and flashing his trademark grin.

“That’s not an answer to my question,” Marinette replied, climbing back down to her main room with Chat on her heels.

“Eh, it was a slow night. Also I need a favor.”

“A favor?” Marinette asked, settling down into her desk chair and leveling him with her best ‘What did you do now’ stare. She really hoped she wasn’t going to have to help him break into the Louvre again.

“Don’t worry nothing illegal this time,” Chat said as if reading her thoughts and putting a hand over his heart, “just a simple project that you are particularly well suited for.”

“Am I making you cookies again?”

“No. I mean if you WANT to I won’t say no, but that’s not why I am here. I need you to paint me.”

“What?”

“Well, not paint. Draw me. Black and White, pencil, full body. As sexy as possible if you don’t mind. Oh and I need it by Sunday night.”

Marinette glared at her intruder.

“Oh that’s all?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much all I need.”

Marinette picked up a ball of yarn sitting on her desk and threw it at Chat’s head.

“You can’t just barge into someone’s house and order them to draw a pin-up of you.”

“I didn’t barge in, I knocked.”

“That is not the point, you still just waltzed in and expected me to draw you.”

“Well you do draw.”

“Yes fashion. Not on demand portraits.”

“I am also not demanding, I asked for a favor.”

“Yeah well my answer is no. It’s not like I sit around hoping for you to stop in so I can draw you as some sex god.”

“But you do think I am a sex god?” Chat smiled leaning in just a little too close and laughing when Marinette shoved him away with a blush. “Yes, I have so got this!”

“You haven’t got anything. You can’t just ask people for free drawings, do you know how much time and effort these things take! It’s not like I sit around drawing all day you know.”

“I can pay you.”

“Fine, I want a new serger. Top of the line.”

“Done.”

“Wait, I was kidding.”

“I wasn’t. I can have it for you tomorrow.”

“Chat those cost like 600 Euro. You can’t just waltz in with a high end serger.”

“Sure I can, we have like 8 of them lying around the East Wing,” Chat said with an off handed wave.

Marinette simply stared at him.

“So can you do it or not?” he asked with a pout. “I need an answer cause I only have 48 hours.”

“You’re serious,” Marinette said. “You are actually offering to bring me a new serger if I draw a portrait of you.”

“A sexy portrait.”

“Whatever.”

“Yes. Like I said, this is very important and I know I can trust you.”

“Wow, that’s… actually really flattering. Ok, in that case I guess I accept.”

“Great. So I figure we can meet up tomorrow for the actual sketch. You get done at school around 12 right?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. I’ll be here by 12:15.”

Marinette nodded and watched as Chat did some sort of odd victory dance.

“So are you going to tell me what this is about?”

“Oh it’s just a small bet I have with a friend. I am totally going to win though.”

“I guess it’s nice to know you have so much faith in me,” Marinette said.

“Well... I mean I was going to ask Nathaniel, but I figured that might get awkward with the whole sexy thing.”

“Wait I was your SECOND choice?”

~~~

Nathaniel was pretty sure he must have fallen asleep, because there was no other explanation he could think of for why one of Paris’ masked Heroines was literally crawling in through his apartment window.

“Ugh,” Queen Bee huffed as she awkwardly clambered into the room, “I know you are all bohemian artsy and whatnot but would it kill you to have bigger windows?”

He said nothing, simply staring as the heroine looked around his room.

“Well you certainly have enough stuff,” she said, gesturing towards the walls and desks cluttered with various art supplies. “Yes, you will do nicely.”

“Um… I am sorry, did I miss something?” he asked, blinking a few times for good measure. Nope she was still here.

“I need you to do me.”

Nathaniel jolted backwards, tripping on a power cable and crashing back into his drafting table.  

“You need me to what?”

“Draw me. You know that whole art thing you do?”

“Oh, right… that makes a lot more sense. Actually no. No it doesn’t.”

“God, I knew this was going to be difficult. Ok. I,” she pointed at herself, “need you,” she pointed back to Nathaniel, “to draw a picture of me. By Sunday. I figure if you can make little miss goody goody pigtails look attractive this should be a piece of cake.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel said rubbing his temples in an attempt to starve off his oncoming headache, “either I have gone insane or you have, because I have no idea what you are talking about. Was there an akuma? Should I be looking for cover or something?”

“No, I just need you to draw me. And make it sexy. I mean I am always sexy, but it needs to be like extra sexy. Try not to drool on my picture. You’ll do great.”

Nathaniel was fairly certain he was the source of the oddly choked wheezing noise that sounded when Queen Bee patted him approvingly on the head.

“Um, Queen Bee…”

“Just Bee is fine. We have a working relationship now.”

“Ok, Bee… why am I drawing you, exactly?” Nathanael asked, side stepping away from his uninvited guest and sitting down on his drawing stool.

She blinked as if he had asked her to explain the current state of the geopolitical climate and not a simple question. “Because I asked you too,” she said.

Nathanael opened his mouth to argue that you can’t just tell an artist to draw you because they can, but realized that the girl currently thumbing through his portfolio could probably toss him one handed out of his previously acknowledged small window, and thought better of it. She could be under the influence of an akuma. It was hardly unprecedented after all for one of the heroes to get caught in the crossfire after a fight, and without more information it was best to stay on her good side.

“These are actually really good,” Bee said with a smile, and Nathanael felt his cheeks reddened at the compliment, “I always did have an eye for quality.” She shot him a playful wink and Nathanael wondered if he could die of embarrassment. If nothing else he was pretty sure that his skin was the same shade as his hair.

“Well, um… I guess I could draw you as a commission. It would cost-” he began, but before he could finish Bee’s whole face lit up delightedly and she squealed.

“I already thought of that,” she grinned, reaching into the small weapon satchel on her hip and drawing out a pile of bills that she slammed onto the table next to him. “Oh this is going to be so great! I can’t wait to see the look on his stupid face! So, we aren’t going to do the actual drawing here right? I don’t think the lighting is going to set me off to my best advantage.”

“That’s like 500 Euro,” Nathaniel gasped, staring down at the pile of money.

“Yeah, that should be plenty for a deposit, you’re not Degas you know.”

“A deposit?” Nathanael gasped.

“Yeah, I know how this works. You get the rest when we are done, I don’t want you going crazy with artistic liberties or whatever. This has to be perfect. We can meet up tomorrow at the park next to your school at the end of classes and go from there ok?”

Nathanael looked at Queen Bee, smiling like she had just won the lottery. He felt a sinking feeling in his gut that taking this assignment on was going to end up being a lot more complicated than just doing a simple drawing. His eyes drifted to the pile of cash. He really did need to replace his drawing tablet. Not to mention the other supplies he could purchase if she was serious about this just being a deposit.

“Oh what the hell,” he sighed, “where in the park do you want to meet exactly?”

~~~

True to his word Chat Noir arrived on her balcony promptly at 12:15, the promised serger in his arms and a devilish smile on his face.

“I trust this will meet with your approval? It’s supposed to be an excellent brand but my f- my supplier favors a different company, so this one was destined to collect dust for all eternity.

“I can’t believe you actually got me a serger,” Marinette breathed, trying not to drool at the exquisite piece of equipment that apparently now belonged to her.

“Well, shall we get started?” Chat said.

Marinette nodded and they both climbed down into her room.

“So,” Marinette began sitting down in her computer chair and grabbing up her sketchbook and pencil, “how exactly do we want to do… thi… Chat what are you doing?”

She watched, fascinated, as Chat rushed around her room with a strangely determined expression, adjusting curtains and angling her chaise lounger.

“We need some up lighting. Do you have- oh never mind I see one,” he said grabbing a clip light she had  attached to the window by her dress form and repositioning it.

For about 20 minutes he moved, tweaked, and adjusted every available light source in her room. Then when he was finally content with his work he grabbed the back of her chair and spun her into position with a triumphant flourish.

“What was that?” Marinette asked, finally breaking out of the stupor brought on by his uncharacteristic behavior.

“70% of great composition is good lighting,” Chat said with the parroting tone of someone who had heard that phrase a thousand times.

“Do you work for a photographer or something?”

Chat laughed delightedly, “You could say that. So what sort of pose would you like me in mademoiselle artist? Remember we need this to be sexy.”

“Oh dear,” Marinette said teasingly, “I don’t know if I know any poses that can make pun loving nerds sexy.”

He glared playfully at her and pounced onto the chaise.

“Oh I know,” she continued with a giggle, “if we want to be thematic we should try to stay with the cat aesthetic, maybe have you lay on your back with your paws in the air!”

“Very funny princess.”

“Ooo! Or how about that thing where cat’s stretch and stick their butts in the air! I am sure your admirers would love that.”

“Well I do have a fantastic butt,” Chat smirked, “but this is actually very important. So how do you want me Marinette?”

Marinette ignored the nervous little flutter in her stomach at his phrasing and tried to think. After all, she was getting paid extremely well to do this and she owed it to her friend to try her best.

“Alright well why don’t we try a sort of, lounging pose? Try laying back or something.”

“Sure,” Chat said, his brow furrowing in concentration for a moment before he swooned back onto the chaise, one arm above his head, one leg dangling lazily off the lounger, and his face angled slightly up as he gave her a knowing, come hither smirk.

Before today, Marinette would have said that she knew just about everything a person could know about Chat Noir without compromising his identity. They had been partners for almost 3 years, he had been friends with her as Marinette as well for 2 of those. She knew his favorite flavor of ice cream, his ticklish spots, how to make him purr and that fact that he would always get embarrassed when he did. She knew how he liked his tea and that he would mouth along with his favorite movies. She knew he was kind. She knew he was brave. She knew he was sometimes oblivious and prone to occasional bouts of jealousy. She knew he was easily entertained and would literally die for the people he cared about if it came down to it. She knew that he was a nerd with a terrible sense of humor. What she hadn’t known- or at least hadn’t truly understood on more than a hypothetical level before this very moment- was that Chat Noir was also very, VERY sexy.

She stared open mouthed at boy… man… ridiculously pretty cat thing in front of her, her pencil hovering uselessly over her sketchpad. He stayed perfectly still, all lithe lines and easy grace, as if sprawling on a couch looking like he was waiting to be devoured by hormone riddled females was his day job.

Where was her rambunctious, guileless partner, with his over-wide smiles and constant fidgeting? Who was this intense, restrained, gorgeous figure that had taken his place? And was there any way she could get a refund on her sanity?  

She heard a soft thud and her cheeks flamed as she realized she had dropped her pencil.

“I donnow, I don’t think I am feeling this pose,” she babbled as she scrambled to retrieve her fallen pencil and calm her frazzled nerves, “Wh..why don’t you try sitting up? Maybe something more… I don’t know… uh… formal?”

“Okay,” Chat said with a shrug, completely clueless to the mental and emotional roller coaster she was experiencing as he adjusted into a new pose.

He sat forward on the edge of the chaise, one leg tucked up while the other foot rested lightly on the floor. One hand propped lightly against his knee while the other braced against the couch. This time his head was slightly tucked down, his brilliant green eyes looking up with a captivating gleam and his lips softly curved in a half sheepish, half hopeful smile that was somehow five times more devastatingly appealing than the smirk had been.

“This better?” he asked without the slightest trace of sarcasm or suspicion.

“Yeah… great,” Marinette gulped.

“Okay! Make me sexy princess,” he said, his grin widening for just a moment before falling back into his pose.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Marinette muttered. Ignoring the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks, she began to sketch.  

___

Nathaniel wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved when he saw Queen Bee trying, and failing, to hide herself behind a tree in the school courtyard.

Several of his other school mates had already caught sight of the hero and were giggling amongst their friend groups or pulling out phones to grab some pictures.

“Psst! Nathaniel! NATHA- ugh- I’m over here!” She began frantically waving him over, clearly struggling not to resort to shouting at him.

Nathaniel bit back a smile as he watched the out of place superhero, clearly oblivious to the stares and whispers she was garnering. The lack of stealth was actually rather endearing. He was almost tempted to pretend that he didn’t see her just to see what she would do, but decided it wasn’t worth it to press his luck with someone who could probably pick him up with one hand.

He hurried over and as soon as he was in grabbing distance found himself hauled into a nearby bush.

“Oh good you’re here! So Nath, can I call you Nath?”

“Um… no?”

“I’m gonna call you Nath. So anyways Nath, I have the perfect place for you to work, it will be a much better atmosphere than your cramped little bedroom. I assume you have everything you need?”

Nathaniel blinked. “I have a sketchbook and my pencils, but-”

“Perfect! OK! Let’s go!”

“Wait what do you- OH MY GOD…” and without any further warning Nathaniel found himself desperately clinging to his new patroness as she lifted them both effortlessly into the sky.

The next few minutes were a blur for Nathaniel. I was fairly sure that Queen Bee had yelled something at him, but it was drown out by his own occasional scream of terror as they zoomed horrifyingly close to chimneys, spires, and even one particularly menacing looking (at least at the time) clock tower.

By the time they landed at their destination his vision was blurry and he was trying not to throw up.

“See, here we are safe and sound,” Bee said happily. She slapped him on the back and Nathaniel staggered forward.

“Jeez, you really don’t like flying do you? Sorry. I’ll go slower next time.”

“Next time…” Nathaniel wheezed, allowing Bee to pull him forward from the balcony and through the large glass doors.

“Here, sit. Let me get you some water. That’s what you want right? Water?”

“Water would be great,” Nathaniel said, letting out a long breath as she hurried off to complete her task. Now that he was no longer in fear of being dropped to his death, Nathaniel allowed himself to relax and catch his bearings.

He looked around the large suite, noting the impressive amount of natural lighting, the lavish furnishings… the very familiar furnishing.

He stood up, rushing over to the other side of the room. Sure enough, there was a large king sized canopy bed, complete with the Ladybug plush pillow and a small, well loved yellow bear.

“Nath? Nath, where did… oh, there you are. I have your water,” Bee said, holding out the glass with a smug little grin.

“OMG You’re Chloe,” Nathaniel said.

“What,” Bee said, her voice taking on a familiar shrillness, “no I’m not, why would you say that?”

It was like a lightswitch had turned on in his brain. Now that he knew everything seemed so obvious. How could it be anyone BUT Chloe. She had her looks, her voice, her mannerisms. Nathaniel had drawn dozens, maybe hundreds of pictures of all of the five heroes, yet somehow he had never made the now obvious connection. It must have been some kind of magic. It was the only thing that made sense. Either that or he was the world’s biggest idiot.

He was going to go with magic.

“You’re Chloe,” he said again, mostly because his brain was still trying to process the fact that one of the beloved heroes of Paris was actually the school’s reigning queen of terror.

“Of course I am not Chloe! I mean… that would be stupid. Plus, Chloe is like, really busy being fabulous and probably out buying those amazing Dulci pumps I’ve been meaning to grab for forever.”

“Really?” Nathaniel said skeptically.

“Obviously,” she said with a dramatic flip of her hair, though her voice trembled nervously.

“We are in your room,” Nathaniel pointed out flatly.

“Yeah, so?”

“So I’ve been to your room before Chloe!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she insisted stubbornly. “Besides everyone says that this Chloe person is really mean. And I’ve been nothing but nice to you. I’m a hero.”

Nathaniel felt his heart soften a little in spite of himself at her vulnerable tone. He stared at Chloe, so many things clicking into place now that he knew her secret. Her continued obsession with Ladybug, her complete turn around on her opinion of Chat Noir whom she had always been dismissive of back in their first year of college. Her slow but steady attempts to be nicer to everyone in the school who wasn’t named Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

“You know Chloe has actually gotten a lot better these days,” he said cautiously.

“You… you think so?” she asked breathlessly, and Nathaniel couldn’t quite hold back a soft smile.

“Yeah,” he said, and she beamed. The smile lit up her whole face and for the first time Nathaniel caught a glimpse of Chloe hiding behind all the pride and hostility. The Chloe Adrien had always insisted was buried deep down waiting for a chance to come out. It seems he had been right.

“You know,” he added “Adrien was even mentioning it the other day, how it was nice that people were getting to see you as the friend he’s known for so long and not just the class bully.”

He watched amused and Chloe puffed up with pride, her smile melting into her signature smirk.

“Well I would hope so! Given how much work I have put in to following all his stupid rules about proper behavior, including the one where I’m apparently not even allowed to brag about the effort I am putting out, the least he can do is make sure that everyone is appreciating... “ she trailed off and looked at him with a wide eyed, horrified expression.

“Appreciating what, Chloe?”

“Oh crap…”

___

Well I hope you guys have enjoyed this so far! 

I was going to finish the whole thing and post it in one go, but A. Its way longer than I meant it to be and B. The middle section that I am trying to clean up is giving me burn out so I need some positive reinforcement lol. Anyways I am still working on in even as I post this so more might go up today, it will probably all but up before the week is out lol. Anyways hope you liked it so far! See you soon! 

[ladyserendipitous]

A little birthday fic for the wonderful @breeeliss Late at night, two heroes looked out over their city from the vantage point of the Eiffel Tower. The cool night breeze ruffling their hair but the chill did not penetrate their suits. Still they sat near each other as if to stay warm. “You've been awful quiet this evening. Penny for your thoughts?” Ladybug didn't look at her partner, but he knew she could feel him shifting. “I think I know who our little queen is,” he said softly into the wind. Ladybug turned, looking at him with startled eyes. “Chat Noir, you know we keep our identities a secret to keep our family and friends safe!” She might have gone on with a lecture if he didn't hold up his hand in front of her. “I didn't go looking,” he told her hoping she could read the sincerity. “I figured it out because I know her.” Ladybug frowned thoughtfully, biting on her lower lip for a moment. “Do you think she knows yours?” Chat Noir chuckled and shook his head. “I doubted it. When you and I started heroing she was a bit, um, self centered. In some respects she’s changed a lot because of her Miraculous.” He watched as Ladybug absently touched one of her earlobes. Was she thinking of their first battles perhaps? “Are you going to tell her?” “If I knew your identity wouldn't you want me to tell you?” He asked with a kind smile. He’d never been big on the idea of hiding their identities from each other. Ladybug however had to think about the situation more. “I suppose I would. You’re not going to tell her who you are, are you?” Ladybug seemed a bit anxious as she asked, and he wasn’t sure why. Did she really think disaster was going to suddenly befall them all? “Knowing her, she’s going to be worried how I found her out unless I tell her why, and the why is tied up with who I am behind the mask. I would be a poor partner to leave her feeling she in some way made a mistake, especially with how hard she tries.” And she had been too. He was honestly proud of their bee. Ladybug gave a full body sigh. “I suppose you’re right. It is the only fair thing to do.” He looked at Ladybug, trying to figure out what was still bothering her, because something clearly was. Then an idea formed. “You don’t by any chance want to share identities too, do you?” Her back became ridged and he was fairly sure her cheeks flushed. Before she answered he put his hand on her shoulder. “Whenever you’re ready my Lady, I’ll happily share my identity with you. There’s no rush. Chloé might have rushed a bit to meet Adrien to go shopping. It had been ages since he invited her to do anything with him, just the two of them. Since he started to go to school. Since she started treating him more as a possession than a person. Since he found new friends, friends that not only treated him with kindness, but who listened to him and want to get to know him for himself and not what he was. Even Marinette Dupain-Cheng, who Chloé these days was finally admitting to herself was not just another crazy fangirl like she’d been trying to convince herself she was. Waiting in front of Annick Goutal, she had been having a hushed conversation with Pollen when she noticed Adrien out of the corner of her eye. Quickly she shut her push and turned to greet him. “Adrikins! You look handsome!” And he did. But Adrien always looked nice, even in jeans and a t-shirt. Sure some of it was because even his casual clothes were tailored to him. And yes, he lucked out in the genetics lottery. They both had of course. But it was also his presence, his sunny disposition, his hopefulness, and his absolutely corny sense of humor that could easily put you at ease. “Thanks Chlo, you look nice yourself,” he greeted while giving her a quick hug. Not that he was getting away from her that easily. Chloé wrapped her arm in his as they started to walk into the perfume shop. “So what’s our agenda?” “Weeeeell,” Chloé started with a grin. “I thought we could go to some of the shops in the area. You know just enjoy the day since you have it completely free. There’s a restaurant I picked out for lunch and then, well, I thought you could pick out what we did after that.” She caught his startled surprise and restrained herself from smirking. She had not been a good friend, but she was trying to make up for it now and friends did things with each other including both their interests. “Do you want to go to an arcade after?” Adrien asked tentatively. No, Chloé did not want to go to an arcade. It wasn’t that she hated video games. They were not really her thing, but she’d played many happy hours with them at Adrien’s house. No, she didn’t like arcades. They were noisy, and crowded (even when there was hardly anyone there!), they smelled like old sweat and while she never actually encountered anything, ‘sticky’ was the one word that always came to mind when she heard the word arcade. So no, Chloé did not want to go to an arcade. “Okay,” she told him with a small shrug of her shoulders. Adrien tried not to smile one of those gushy all encompassing smiles of his as he confirmed. “You sure?” Instead of answering she held out her free hand to him and extended her small finger. The small he was trying to hold back broke free and he hooked his finger to hers. Inside the perfume store Chloé carefully looked around with Adrien giving his input from time to time. Though in one case she almost wish he hadn’t as she sniffed a particular fragrance blend that reminded her a bit of cherries. “Hmm, this one reminds me a little of something Marinette wears sometimes,” Adrien commented and it took Chloé an extreme bit of willpower not to reject the fragrance outright. In the end Chloé picked out four new fragrances for herself and made an offhand comment to Adrien that anything in here would be far superior to anything Marinette Dupain-Cheng could possibly afford. Chloé did was not smiling to herself when she noticed Adrien having a clerk help him get a small vile while she was finishing up her transaction. Afterwards they went and looked at shoes, and then jewelry and accessories. By the time they were ready for lunch Chloé had several large bags she was carrying, but she was happy to notice Adrien had about a bag worth of stuff as well. Granted most of it wasn’t for himself, but she supposed that was alright. And she did not help point out anything that some of his other friends might enjoy. Not once! They chatted about nothing of consequence during most of their meal, but she noticed he looked over at his bodyguard at one point, looking mildly miffed. Chloé knew Adrien wished he didn’t need the constant surveillance, but all things considered his bodyguard was so quiet and efficient that unless something was going wrong he was easy to forget about. Adrien was lucky to have such a man as his bodyguard. It was obvious though Adrien had something he wanted to discuss. “After the arcade you must come back to the hotel with me, Adrien! There’s still so much we can still do.” Chloé was pleased with the grin on Adrien’s face and the ease of his agreement. It had been like pulling teeth to get him to come to her home up until recently. Again, mostly her own fault, but she was glad at least her relationship with Adrien was one that was easily mended. The arcade was not a horrible experience, but it took Adrien a lot of convincing to get Chloé to actually touch any of the games herself. And while she did have fun, she washed her hands thoroughly afterwards just to get any possible stickiness off. When they got to the hotel, Chloé noticed a difference in her friend. Adrien became serious and she wondered as they reached her room just what it was he wanted to talk about. Adrien watched Chloé put away her new purchases, happily discussing plans on when she was going to wear this or that. He had really enjoyed their day together. It wasn’t like when they were younger, but it made him feel a bit nostalgic for how he felt about her as a kid. She turned to him, her hands free, as was the expression she had on her face. “Chloé I know your secret.” It was scary how fast she became stoic. “Since when?” Good, she wasn’t freaking out, he’d slightly worried about that. “I don’t know, I didn’t know at first, but then you’d say or do something, and yeah, it all adds up.” Chloé carefully walked over and sat on her bed. “Wow, I’m just. It’s nice to have another person know to be honest.” Adrien blinked. “Another person?” “Yeah, well, because Sabrina is the only one that knows right now,” Chloé gave him a small that was full of relief, which wasn’t putting Adrien at ease at all! “How could you tell Sabrina?” Adrien asked, trying to not get mad, but it was very difficult. “Why wouldn’t I? She’s my best friend!” Chloé sounded hurt and it irritated Adrien. “Ladybug is going to be pissed. I know I haven’t agreed with her about keeping our identities a secret, but that was with each other!” Adrien ran a hand through his hair trying to keep from pacing. “Wait, wait, what does Ladybug have to do with me being a lesbian?” Chloé all but shouted. Adrien dropped his arm and looked at Chloé. “You’re a lesbian?” “Wait, you said identity!” Chloé’s face started to turn white. “Wait, you said… you said you didn’t agree…?” “Man, I knew you had a bit of a crush on LB before, but I thought that was just all the times she saved you.” Adrien shook his head grinning. “Chat Noir? Really?” She looked both scared and hopeful. He couldn’t blame her really. He held out his hand to her and extended his small finger. She hooked it in hers as she started to laugh. Later after a lot of talking: “So Les-bee-n?” “Please, oh please, don’t use that joke around Ladybug. I’ll be mortified!” “Come on Chlo, she’ll love it. It’s a great joke.” “That’s why I’d be mortified!”

[lalunaunita]

Ladynoir July Day 28: (in love with a) Laugh

This is the Epilogue to Runaway

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

“That’s the last box,” Marinette confirmed as Adrien set it down in the tiny but tidy room at Alya’s parent’s apartment. She hugged her giant cat pillow to her chest and looked around the miniscule space that would be her home for the next two years. It had one small window, barely big enough for Ladybug to squeeze through, but she’d have to make do. More difficult would be keeping Alya at bay well enough to hide her superhero identity. Living under the same roof as the Ladyblogger was going to be a challenge.

“I’m really glad your parents agreed to let you live with Alya. Are they on their way yet?” asked Adrien as he pulled pillows out of her laundry basket and tossed them onto her bed.

Marinette nodded. “They left yesterday. They’re still in transit, but they should arrive in Guangzhou by tomorrow, or the next day.” She giggled. “I think they’re taking time to tour a bit before getting down to business.”

“Well…” Adrien glanced up and around, taking in the proportions of the room, “...it looks um, okay?”

Marinette giggled again and popped her hand over her mouth to hide her smile. “Spoiled much? This was the catch-all room until the twins got big enough for separate bedrooms. Not everyone gets two stories to themselves,” she teased. Adrien fixed her with a frown, but relented and instead drew her close with one arm, the cat pillow squished between them.

“So I’ll see you later, right?” he muttered for her ears only.

“Definitely,” she replied, a little breathless. They’d been dating for a month, and she still couldn’t get over his eyes… his nose… his chin… well, his everything, really. His sinful grin gave her a thrill when he caught her looking him over, then he released her, stepping back just as Alya came down the hall.

Marinette’s BFF eyed the two of them suspiciously as she stood in the doorway, but seeing several feet of space between them, she bounced in, arms wide for a hug. “Marinette, girl, this is gonna be the bomb! We’re already practically sisters. Now we can do everything together!” Marinette shared a grin over Alya’s shoulder with her partner.

“That’s great!” she managed with passable enthusiasm. Adrien gave her a thumbs up.

Alya leaned back from the embrace, still holding Marinette’s arms. She looked sternly into her eyes. “Except for when I’m working on the Ladyblog. No offense, Marinette, but you’re kind of clumsy when you’re put on the spot, and I need to be able to keep up with the heroes of Paris if I’m going to report what’s happening. And I insist on absolute quiet when I’m editing. Etta and Ella know not to even knock while I’m working.”

Marinette laughed. “Alya, I know how dedicated you are. I’m good with the house rules. I’ll be quiet as a mouse, I promise.” Alya pulled her into another tight hug. Marinette returned it gratefully, tears pricking her eyes.

“Alya, I’m so, so sorry…” she began, but she felt the other girl shake her head.

“You already said that. I already forgave you. Let’s let it go.” Marinette squeezed her eyes shut tight until the heat behind her lids went away. She released Alya and smiled gratefully. The girls walked Adrien to the door and Marinette excused herself to unpack and set up her new room.

“Hey, stranger,” Ladybug greeted Chat Noir as he joined her on the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower.

“I come bearing gifts,” he replied and tipped forward in a bow, a small envelope proffered on his palm.

“What’s this?” asked Ladybug as she opened the unsealed flap. She lifted out a metal key on a ribbon. It shone with reflected light from the tower below them.

“I got to talking with my father when I got home… he was very pleased to meet you, by the way.”

Ladybug raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really? He didn’t smile the entire time we had dinner.”

“Yeah, he’s like that. But he actually seems really relaxed about me having a girlfriend. I’m not sure what to do with that. Anyway, I mentioned your move to Alya’s apartment and how you basically have room to sleep and do homework, and no room to sew.”

Ladybug shrugged her shoulder. “I’ll keep my sketchbook going. And I pared down my supplies so that I can set up from time to time in the Cesaire’s living room. It’s a price I’m willing to pay to stay in Paris.”

“You don’t have to. That’s a key to one of the empty offices over at my dad’s building. He’s highly empathetic to your plight. We can set up your stuff tomorrow and you can come and go as you please.”

“WHAT??? Chat - Adri - CHAT NOIR ARE YOU SERIOUS?” She looked from him, to the key, and back to him, clutching the precious object to her chest. Then she groaned dramatically. “Couldn’t you have had this idea before I got rid of all my fabric?”

Chat Noir grinned. “No problem. I’ll take you on a sewing date. I’ve got a lot of wooing to make up for as Adrien.” He chuckled as she shook her head back and forth, amazed.

“None as Chat Noir, though. I’m completely wooed for life.”

“Woo hoo.” As corny as the joke was, Ladybug couldn’t help the peal of laughter that slipped from her lips and rang across the empty deck. Chat Noir’s heart warmed at the joy shining out of his Lady’s eyes. “I love that sound,” he sighed, “and I love you.”

“You really do, don’t you?” she wondered at him, trailing her finger over his face, the brow of his mask. She brushed his hair out of his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him. “I love you, too.”

Author’s note: One of the things I love from Miraculous S1 is the head vs. heart dynamic LB and CN share. Chat Noir has his moments, but Ladybug’s cool assessments usually win the day. I wanted to explore the consequences of trying to be too rational, without acknowledging that emotional needs are real needs, and of being an island unto oneself. I think there’s an underlying message in many cultures that you can truly only depend on yourself, that asking for help is weak, and that compromise is failure. CN’s instincts and heart-thinking in this story mean that he’s actually the more rational of the two, since he knows to take the “human factor” into account. So anyway, do with that what you will.

[sadrien]

what’s the stitch? | pt.1

on ao3

from the high school senior that brought you wanna chat? comes another chat fic that no one asked for

just so we're all on the same page, alya has the fox miraculous, nino the turtle, and chloe the bee. i latched onto this team of miraculous holders a while back and now i'm just throwing up random stuff. initially i wasn't going to write more than a small snip of this but @breeeliss​ is a horrible enabler (<3)

i'm still working on the dynamics for them, especially since they're still getting to know each other, so sorry if it's rough

anyway let's do this

18:23

Cat: What does this do? Oh COOL

Bee: what in fresh hell is this

Turtle: yo wassup this is rad wait lemme see…

Fox: HELLA

Ladybug: Chat what the hell did you do

Cat: Hey don’t blame me for being bored

There are fun settings on these things and I wanted to explore them

Fox: this is rad as hECK

Bee: i hate you all

Fox: this is going to be lit i cant believe i can text the crew through a weapon the magic whatevers that created these things knew what was up

Turtle has changed their name to michael angelo

michael angelo: hell yeah

Cat: Whoa what we can do that!!

Bee: this is going to be the most obnoxious chat ever i can feel it let me leave

Cat has changed their name to :3

Bee: holy shit let me out wait why the hell don’t these things have emojis i am personally offended

:3: Ah yes let me just call up the ancient gods and ask them to install emojis on our weapons

Bee: listen here you piece of shit

Fox has changed their name to foxy lady

Bee: can i give back my miraculous i don’t want it anymore

foxy lady: this is the best thing to ever happen

michael angelo: aYO

:3: I love it It’s like a less awful skype

Ladybug: Can we maybe try to keep this for talking about where akumas are?

:3: Hmmm

foxy lady: i mean we COULD

Bee has changed their name to beeutiful

beeutiful: ;*

michael angelo: yeah no way thats happening ladybug

:3: Its bonding!!!

Ladybug: Now I want to leave

:3: Awww join in on the fun my lady! Please??? Team bonding

foxy lady: @chat do u know how 3 get youtube on these things ive got videos to send

beeutiful: ummm what sort of videos?

foxy lady: ;)

michael angelo: if you send a meme ILL give up my miraculous

foxy lady: good we dont need u

Ladybug: Did you say team bonding??

:3: Yes that’s exactly what this is Duh

 6:13

michael angelo: well shit i really hope your kwami alert you of messages or something cause im actually going to use this the way its supposed to be used akuma at eiffel tower

 6:17

beeutiful: disgusting i’ll be there in a minute

:3: You’ll BEE there?

beeutiful: im going to punt you off the tower

foxy lady: i ws going to tell u 2 shut up unfortunate wheres the bug @

michael angelo: um??? backup??????? please????

foxy lady: OH right omw

 6:19

Ladybug: Ill be there in a sec

 6:48

foxy lady: i cant believe u all bolted like that i was gonna ask if we could do breakfast

Ladybug: I’m about to destransform, sorry! Ill talk to you all later but really since my kwami can only tell me that I have a message but not whats in it please try not to talk here too much I wont be able to tell whats important

:3: I can’t beelieve this

beeutiful: im literally going to rip your head off

foxy lady: everything is important anyway food i guess ill find some on my own then on my own pretending hes beside me :’(

beeutiful: @ladybug if you figure out how to mute this please let me know because oh my god

michael angelo: bro im just gonna snag a bag of chips before class

:3: Healthy

michael angelo: what was the last thing you ate cat boy?

:3: You’re going to judge me

beeutiful: im always judging you

foxy lady: oooooo

michael angelo: what are you a health nut or osmething cn?

:3: Not by choice

foxy lady: unfortunate

michael angelo: alright next patrol were getting super cheap pizza

foxy lady: and fries and milkshakes and possibly also hamburgers superheroing makes me hungry

beeutiful: ewwwww

foxy lady: dont like junk food???

beeutiful: no!!! its greasy and disgusting and sooo bad for your skin like who wants to deal with THAT

:3: Ok true I don’t have time to deal with acne

foxy lady: u both have unfairly perfect skin

michael angelo: ^^ true tho how do you manage that??

beeutiful: good genes and a fantastic skin care routine sure i’m naturally gorgeous but it takes a little work to reach true perfection

:3: So many different types of scrubs and creams So many that I could drown in them And also makeup Usually concealer and foundation every day

beeutiful: true my contour btw? art

foxy lady: thats cool but u havent seen my cat eye

:3: ;)

michael angelo: yeahhh makeup isnt my jam i suck at it 0/10 not attempting again

beeutiful: what!!!! makeup is EVERYONES jam i mean if you don’t like it whatever but with practice and patience you too can look as good as moi if you think you don’t look good with makeup on it’s just cause you’re not doing it right trust me

foxy lady: yeah bro if we didnt have these masks id totally do u up during patrol one night

:3: Add that to the list of things to do if we ever reveal our identities Makeovers

michael angelo: theres a list???

beeutiful: wait i thought we could never ever tell each other ever boss’ rules

:3: A cat boy can dream

foxy lady: do we think ladybug likes makeup

beeutiful: oh my god the most important question shit i’m about to detransform anyway check out my contour next time we’re out because it’s flawless

michael angelo: im out too ive been pushing it later dudes

foxy lady: and then there were two

:3: Benefits of using catacylsm at the end I guess

foxy lady: :P this miiiiight b difficult if we can only use it when transform eh w/e ill take what i can get

:3: Same honestly

 17:34

foxy lady: im bored and my actual friends are busy

 17:39

michael angelo: so we arent your friends then

beeutiful: i am not your friend

foxy lady: wow rude

michael angelo: what saving paris together doesnt make us friends?

beeutiful: as if!! being my friend is a privilege it’s like getting access to an exclusive club

foxy lady: soooooooooooo u dont have many friends then

beeutiful: fuck you i have plenty of friends

:3: Children please Ladybug is literally going to have my head

michael angelo: broski you were talking wiht us earlier

:3: Yeah but I didn’t have her glare burning holes into my soul the entire time

foxy lady: UR!!!!!!!!WITH LADYBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:3: Yeah of course I’m with Ladybug?

beeutiful: and why exactly were we not invited??

:3: Parents need alone time sometimes

michael angelo: oh my god

foxy lady: #rude #betrayal #urnotmyrealdad #ettuchatnoir #whentheydontloveuback

beeutiful: stop before i hunt you down and stop you myself

foxy lady: #fucku

michael angelo: question is lb seriously that annoyed

:3: She’s not thrilled Hmmm how to Got it

:3 has sent a photo [selfie of Chat Noir smiling and holding up a peace sign with an unamused Ladybug in the background]

michael angelo: well thats a look i never want to face head on

foxy lady: rip u id face it down if it meant i got to spend more time w ladybug

beeutiful: fangirl much

foxy lady: oh shut up i kno ur the same

beeutiful: oh do you????

foxy lady: ummm yeaH i remember our first day do u

beeutiful: shit

michael angelo: i like to block most of that day from my memories

beeutiful: no one asked you shellhead

:3: Children please Wait really?

michael angelo: ehhh i mean it was really cool and life changing and all that shit but also i embarrassed myself in front of two of the most awesome people ever so yeah

beeutiful: kiss up

michael angelo: listen my dude i was not ready to be a superhero before this the most exercise i got was climbing the stairs to my apartment and the occasional run from akumas

Ladybug: To be fair Chat and I werent ready either

foxy lady: !!!!!!!!!! she speaks!!! ok but ive been prepping to b a superhero since i was like 4

beeutiful: same actually

:3: I watched way too much Sailor Moon not to be ready But I still wasn’t ready Lots of face planting

Ladybug: It gets easier and you have chat and I for help You dont have to figure this all out on your owns

:3: True Doing it by ourselves was unfurrtunate

beeutiful: moment ruined

foxy lady: im tearing up thank u i feel loved

michael angelo: ok so who wants to teach me tricks to get out of class and work for akuma attacks because bru h

:3: Uhhhh

Ladybug: Um

:3: You’re on your own good luck

beeutiful: wow you’re a great mentor we’re so lucky to have you

Ladybug: Be creative in your lies and dont repeat the same ones too often??? But also dont get too extravagant because then its a mess and gets out of hand Now stop messaging here its annoying!!!!!!!!!!!

 19:03

:3: Does anyone have cheese?

Ladybug: Chat if this isnt relevant I will end you

:3: I swear it is!

beeutiful: umm yes why??

:3: I need some We’re out and I didn’t realize Could you meet me somewhere with it?

beeutiful: i guess if it’s that important? what kind

:3: It is that important Anything If you have camembert that But anything

michael angelo: how is this relevant

:3: Grumpy hungry kwami

beeutiful: i have camembert how do you not have food for your kwami?

:3: It’s been a long week sue me Tower in ten?

beeutiful: i can’t believe i’m doing this but yes you owe me whiskers

 19:11

foxy lady: thisll be the weirdest brush contact paris has ever seen

[chatuoir]

catastrophic affairs, truly (chap 5)

chaps 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / on ao3

hello it has been 500 years since i last updated but the lovely AmelineAmira on ao3 wrote a fic inspired by this one? omg? and that reminded me that i needed to update (i had the chapter ready i was just being lazy)(thank u <3) so yall should definitely check that fic out but in the meantime here is another chapter lets get LIT (its like midnight goodnight)

Marinette is smothered in hugs as soon as she steps into the bakery. Her parents apologize to the customers before pulling her into the living room, clearly scared about her well-being. They'd heard about the attack on the news and keep inspecting her to check for injuries; she assures them that she's fine.

“Really, Maman, I'm okay. The broken glass didn't even cut me. I promise.” She says. Her parents exchange a glance before turning back to her.

“We’re glad you're okay,” Her father starts, “But what about the stuff we’ve heard about this Chat Noir business?” Marinette silently curses. Shit. The attack had distracted her from thinking of a good way to bring it up.

She takes a deep breath. Well. “I know this is going to sound really weird, but I can explain. The truth is... Chat Noir is my fake boyfriend.”

Her parents stare at her for a few moments, eerily quiet. Marinette stands there waiting for a reaction, but there isn't one. Finally, she starts again.

“So... Chat asked me to fake date him so Ladybug wouldn't think he was lying to her about him having a girlfriend; I felt bad for him, but I also thought it was really funny, so I agreed. We set up some conditions so this doesn't go too far, and I can opt out whenever I want.” Marinette sees her parents visibly relax a little, but they're still confused. At last, Tom speaks up.

“I think the only question I can really ask is... can I meet this Chat?” Marinette hesitates in answering. Fortunately, she's saved by a bell ringing from inside the store. Sabine goes to check and brings back a plate of cookies and friend- in fact, she brings back a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a superhero friend.

“Hi Mr and Mrs Dupain-Cheng,” Chat greets after inhaling a couple cookies, “I'm Chat Noir, but I think you knew that. I just wanted to say that everything that's happened to your daughter today with the akuma was my fault and I apologize. Did she tell you exactly what's going on?” He says in one spurt. Marinette gestures for him to calm down and breathe.

“It's fine, I told them.” She says. He looks noticeably relieved.

“I didn't want you two to stress out or anything, I mean, Marinette was safe during the attack, if you count being trapped inside a glass cat head safe. Which, by the way, I'm really sorry for-- I didn't think people would overreact to something like who I'm dating. Or, you know, in this case, fake dating.” Honestly, this boy doesn't know when to stop talking; Marinette’s almost embarrassed for him. Luckily, her parents smile at him warmly.

“Thanks for letting us know, Chat.” Tom says. “We trust that you and Marinette can handle this, but if anything starts to trouble you, don't be afraid to come to us. Both of you.” Okay, dad. We can't just adopt every guy I (fake) date. Marinette thinks.

Chat grins, nods, and takes a few more cookies. “Thank you for everything. Can I speak to Marinette for a couple minutes?”

“I'm really sorry about everything that happened today. If you want to call it quits right now, that's fine with me. I can ask Alya to take all the pictures off her blog.” Chat says.

“No, no, really, it's fine! You wouldn't believe how many times I've been in serious situations like today’s, especially with the amount of attacks that happen in my school. Seriously. I forgive you. And if it had really bothered me that much I’m sure I would’ve asked Alya myself. Really, I’m okay.”

“So... we’re still fake dating?”

“Duh. You literally just met my parents. I'm not gonna break up with you right now.” Chat breathes out a sigh of relief. Then he rubs his temples before speaking up.

“You know what I just realized? I don't have any way to contact you besides like this, face to face. Can I have your phone number or something? Wait, no, you might know the civilian me. What about IM? I'll make a new one just for you. Maybe something like, small x - big x - Mari’s - underscore - true - underscore - love  - big x - small x’, just to keep everything fresh.”

Marinette jokes. “Who are you, a scene kid from 2009?” They both snort at that.

“Like you have any better ideas.”

“Yeah, I don’t. Mine’s just my name.” Chat makes a big show of committing that to memory, as if he’s going to mix it up and find a different Marinette Dupain-Cheng somewhere on the internet. Marinette has to admit that he’s a pretty funny guy, even if he tries too hard to be cool sometimes.

A few minutes later she's shooing him out the bakery door while he salutes and blows a kiss. A couple customers smile; Marinette catches a few of them sneaking glances and laughs to herself. The fun has only just begun, she thinks.

It's past midnight, and Marinette knows she’s supposed to be on her rounds right now, except she isn’t really sure what to say to Chat as Ladybug after the day’s events. Technically, there was no way she could’ve helped him during the attack since she was quite literally trapped, but she still feels kind of bad. They’re supposed to be a team.

Marinette lays in bed for a while and listens as the city settles. There’s usually a couple cars left at this hour, and of course Paris is still ablaze- they don’t call it the City of Lights for no reason- but it feels eerily quiet and dark. I’m probably sleep-deprived, she thinks. Suddenly, her phone lights up and nearly blinds her. She fumbles for it and reads the notification.

New IM chat request from xXmaris_true_loveXx

Marinette has to smother herself with her blanket before she laughs too hard and wakes the entire city. She accepts the request and sees that Chat’s already sent a couple messages.

xXmaris_true_loveXx: hello my false lover (i hope)

i have a question

do you happen to be friends with lb or can you contact her

if so where tf is she?

oh shoot it's like 12:17 im sorry if i woke you up

She frantically types a message back, whispering for Tikki to get ready to transform her.

Marinettedcheng: hi chat no u didnt wake me i do in fact have a way to contact her i will tell her ur waiting & congrats on finding the right mari

xXmaris_true_loveXx: ok good i was just worried cus she wasn’t answering. get some rest you need your beauty sleep

Marinettedcheng: cant tell if thats an insult or compliment but thx i will see u 2mo

xXmaris_true_loveXx: wow i would never slander my fake gf </3... goodnight

“He certainly is a character, isn’t he?” Tikki says. Marinette rolls her eyes, her face shining from the glow of the city.

“Sure. Let’s get going. Tikki, spots on!” Marinette transforms at 12:20 and heads out to the Eiffel Tower.

-

It’s quite relaxing to be above the city in the dead hours of the night, with everything sparkling and the cool breeze rustling through the air. Ladybug finds her partner sitting on a ledge, lost in thought. She settles down next to him and they silently greet each other. It's awkward for a while before she speaks up.

“Hey.. so. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Again. For not showing up earlier today? But I was in a sticky situation.” He smiles softly and Ladybug catches it, his face lit up by the moonlight.

“I forgive you. Again. It's okay, my Lady. I promise.” It's still a little awkward.

“Okay. I just feel guilty. Like, all these people were looking up to me to help them and be their hero, but I wasn't even there.”

“But your trusty sidekick was there,” Chat says with a grin.

She gently shoves him. “Chat, we talked about this. You're my partner, not my sidekick. We're equal. We balance each other out, that’s kinda the point. Duh.” He lets out a short laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, you're right. Team Miraculous, am I right?” She nods, glad that the slight tension in the air is gone. The two fist bump before settling back into the silence of the night.

A few more moments pass.

“We should... uh... patrol now?” Ladybug whispers. Chat’s eyes widen.

“Yeah, yep, you're right, I’ll do the north side of the city,” He raises his baton and helps Ladybug to her feet, “See you in 30.” Then he does an Olympics-worthy dive off the side of the tower, extending the pole to vault to the next building. Ladybug snorts as he leaves. Show-off. Again, she thinks.

--

Ladybug catches a couple thieves before finishing her patrol; they’re some sneaky tourists who wanted free souvenirs, but they at least have the dignity to look guilty when she turns them in.

Chat is sitting on the building across from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Ladybug wants to laugh; he probably thinks his fake girlfriend is in there, asleep, not at all thinking about the crazy day they just had like he definitely is. She suddenly realizes he’s speaking to her and snaps out of her trance.

“So... did you hear about what happened to me and Marinette?” Ladybug snorts. She’d read his mind.

“Yeah, someone told me to check the Ladyblog, like, a half hour after you confessed to me.”

“Hmm. Seems awfully suspicious. You sure you didn’t expose me?” Chat interrogates, but he’s smirking. Ladybug rolls her eyes.

“Pssh. You probably submitted that post yourself, because you thought I didn’t believe you or something,” She jokes. He freezes for a moment, but she doesn’t notice. Biting her tongue to keep from laughing, she grins and adds, “But you do like Marinette, I can tell. I mean, why else would you be dating her?”

He nervously laughs but tries to play it off. “Yeah, she’s great. It’s going well. But hey, that’s enough about my love life. What are your plans for tomorrow? I never got to ask.” Shit. Uh, I’m going on a fake date with you in civilian form, while trying to keep it realistic enough so other people think we’re actually dating- but only until your plan of making me, as Ladybug, jealous finally works- which probably won’t ever happen, so, honestly, you tell me.

Later, she would wonder if it was the sheer amount of exhaustion from the day, the huge billboard right in front of her, or the curiosity of the cat (especially a certain Chat) which made her difficult situation a whole lot worse. But at the time, all she could think was to say something as ridiculous as possible so he wouldn’t ask any questions.

“I’m, uh, also going on a date. With.. um, the one and only, uh...” Ladybug drops her gaze from Chat’s eyes (which turns out to be an accident) and says with confidence, “Adrien Agreste.”

[networkingdefinition]

Rosemary Quotes

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I combine 4 lbs Epsom salts, 3 oz mustard powder, 12 oz powdered milk, and 1/2 cup baking soda, add in 12 drops each of rosemary and eucalyptus essential oils, then whisk it and pour 1/4 cup of the mix into the tub while warm water is running. – Natalie Coughlin • I plant rosemary all over the garden, so pleasant is it to know that at every few steps one may draw the kindly branchlets through one’s hand, and have the enjoyment of their incomparable incense; and I grow it against walls, so that the sun may draw out its inexhaustible sweetness to greet me as I pass. – Gertrude Jekyll • I put on the Hank Williams and the Patsy Cline and the Rosemary Clooney on vinyl – I’m not trying to be some cool indie-rock person, I just love the way it sounds – and throw on a T-shirt and jeans. In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. – Kelly Clarkson • I try to do nothing. I drink rosemary when I have a lot of work to do. People take coffee, they take speed, whatever. I take rosemary. – Agnes Varda • If President Nixon’s secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses’ secretary, there would only be eight commandments. – Art Buchwald • I’ll keep working as long as I live because singing has taken on the feeling of joy that I had when I started, when my only responsibility was to sing well. – Rosemary Clooney • I’m hooked on Polanski’s films, his psychological thrillers. I love ‘Rosemary’s Baby,’ I love ‘Repulsion.’ – Vera Farmiga • In our everyday garden grow the rosemary, juniper, ferns and plane trees, perfectly tangible and visible. For these plants that have an illusory relationship with us, which in no way alters their existentiality, we are merely an event, an accident, and our presence, which seems so solid, laden with gravity, is to them no more than a momentary void in motion through the air. Reality is a quality that belongs to them, and we can exercise no rights over it. – Leo Lionni • It had been three weeks, four days and twelve hours since I’d seen her. Since she’d torn my heart out. If I had been drinking, I’d blame it on the alcohol. It had to be an illusion, a desperate one. But I hadn’t been drinking. Not a drop. There was no mistaking Blaire. It was her. She was actually here. Blaire was back in Rosemary. She was at my house. – Abbi Glines • I’ve always been a huge fan of ‘The Shining,’ and ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ is one of my favorite films of all time. – Mary Elizabeth Winstead • My all-time favorite skin cream is from Poland. Its called Eva Natura with Polish herbs, including rosemary. It smells wonderful and is soothing and comforting. – Dagmara Dominczyk • My company is called Ciné-Tamaris, which is rosemary. That’s my speed. Hot water and herb. – Agnes Varda • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Now you can leave home at any time you like.Your mother comes down and finds a picture of the Eiffel Tower on her plate. And she says, ‘Oh! Rosemary’s gone to Paris. No wonder the bathroom was so tidy.’ And nobody minds. But in my day, to go abroad with all those wicked Frenchmen, what would become of them? So no-one ever went anywhere. – Quentin Crisp • Personally I like the slow burn; I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. When I think about the movies that were most effective on me as a viewer I think of the original Haunting and the Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, the Sixth Sense, the Others. These movies are not over the top at all, they are movies that rely on good story telling, good acting, good premise, good exposition and I want to stay true to that in future projects. – Oren Peli • Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse had signed a lease on a five-room apartment in a geometric white house on First Avenue when they received word, from a woman named Mrs. Cortez, that a four-room apartment in the Bramford had become available. – Ira Levin • Rosemary bubbled with delight at the trunks. Her naivete responded whole-heartedly to the expensive simplicity of the Divers, unaware of its complexity and its lack of innocence, unaware that it was all a selection of quality rather than quantity from the run of the world’s bazaar; and that the simplicity of behavior also, the nursery-like peace and good will, the emphasis on the simpler virtues, was part of a desperate bargain with the gods and had been attained through struggles she could not have guessed at. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • Rosemary felt that this swim would become the typical one of her life, the one that would always pop up in her memory at the mention of swimming. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • Rosemary Rodriguez directed on Rescue Me for us, and I love her. She’s fantastic with actresses and she’s got a great sense of humor. That was a huge thing for me. – Denis Leary • She felt a little betrayed and sad, but presently a moving object came into sight. It was a huge horse-chestnut tree in full bloom bound for the Champs Elysees, strapped now into a long truck and simply shaking with laughter – like a lovely person in an undignified position yet confident none the less of being lovely. Looking at it with fascination, Rosemary identified herself with it, and laughed cheerfully with it, and everything all at once seemed gorgeous. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • She wished she had a little yellow house of her own, with a flower box full of real flowers and herbs – pansies and rosemary – and a sweet lover who would swing dance with her in the evenings and cook pasta and read poetry aloud. – Francesca Lia Block • So it’s Rosemary Clooney – Rosemary? Rosemary Clooney, right? The singer? Yes. Clooney, doing, singing, “I’ve Grown Accustomed To Your Face,” which is, you know, really a love song, but what we see on stage is we see one puppet that’s got a ridiculous blonde wig on and she looks ridiculous, and next to her is a head that’s just a piece of fabric with a pretty face on it. – Brian Henson • The best advice I got from my aunt, the great singer Rosemary Clooney, and from my dad, who was a game show host and news anchor, was: don’t wake up at seventy years old sighing over what you should have tried. Just do it, be willing to fail, and at least you gave it a shot. That’s echoed for me all through the last few years. – George Clooney • The scent organ was playing a delightfully refreshing Herbal Capriccio – rippling arpeggios of thyme and lavender, of rosemary, basil, myrtle, tarragon; a series of daring modulations through the spice keys into ambergris; and a slow return through sandalwood, camphor, cedar and newmown hay (with occasional subtle touches of discord – a whiff of kidney pudding, the faintest suspicion of pig’s dung) back to the simple aromatics with which the piece began. The final blast of thyme died away; there was a round of applause; the lights went up. – Aldous Huxley • There are some things, after all, that Sally Owens knows for certain: Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Add pepper to your mashed potatoes. Plant roses and lavender, for luck. Fall in love whenever you can. – Alice Hoffman • There’s rosemary and rue. These keep Seeming and savor all the winter long. Grace and remembrance be to you. – William Shakespeare • There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember. – William Shakespeare • There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray you, love, remember: and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts. There’s fennel for you, and columbines: — there ‘s rue for you; and here’s some for me: — we may call it, herb of grace o’Sundays: — you may wear your rue with a difference. — There’s a daisy: — I would give you some violets; but they withered all, when my father died: — They say, he made a good end. – William Shakespeare • With Rodham, for instance, it has to work on an emotional level. It has to work on a character level. If it’s only “Look, it has famous people,” then it’s a wax museum come to life and that’s really boring. It’s sort of like what they say about science fiction and horror where the really good ones, if you remove that element of it, it still has to work. That’s the reason The Shining works or Rosemary’s Baby or Blade Runner. – James Ponsoldt

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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[equitiesstocks]

Rosemary Quotes

Official Website: Rosemary Quotes

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• All I’m saying is we got plenty of Texans, and people from Montana, and New Jersey, and Wyoming, or Kansas City. We got plenty of actors. So we don’t need some cat from Cardiff-upon-Rosemary-upon-Thyme, or whatever the hell it is, playing people from Montana. And in the reverse, they got plenty of people from Cardiff-upon-Rosemary-upon-Thyme that they don’t need our asses coming over there trying to do British accents. – Billy Bob Thornton • And we have a little herb garden, which survived the winter thanks to global warming. It makes me feel like a cool, old Italian housewife, that I kept my rosemary alive outside all winter. – Elizabeth Gilbert • As for rosemary, I let it run all over my garden walls, not only because my bees love it but because it is the herb sacred to remembrance and to friendship, whence a sprig of it hath a dumb language. – Thomas More

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Rosemary', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_rosemary').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_rosemary img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Blade Runner’s just a noir at the end of the day. Rosemary’s Baby is about the fear of having a child and how that gets in the way of a romantic relationship. Or whatever it is, and you add that extra element that blows your mind apart. – James Ponsoldt • Carmelia Montiel, a twenty-year-old virgin, had just bathed in orange-blossom water and was strewing rosemary leaves on Pilar Ternera’s bed when the shot rang out. Aureliano José had been destined to find with her the happiness that Amaranta had denied him, to have seven children, and to die in her arms of old age, but the bullet that entered his back and shattered his chest had been directed by a wrong interpretation of the cards. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez • He asked <…> Rosemary, why do you love books so much? And I said, Well, I don’t know <…> I suppose I love them because they’re quiet, and I can take them to the park. – Robin Sloan • He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir. – Kevin Hearne • I do love old horror, everytime I watch Rosemary’s Baby the performances just get richer and richer and more multi-layered, and I see images that are just so politically outrageous. I love it all. – Robert Englund • I felt trapped and fabricated in the fifties living up to other people’s expectations. – Rosemary Clooney • I like the Polanski stuff more than anything else. Rosemary’s Baby is still one of my favorite movies of all time. The idea of her being impregnated with the devil is just so frightening. – Dylan McDermott • I like to take mustard baths. I combine 4 lbs Epsom salts, 3 oz mustard powder, 12 oz powdered milk, and 1/2 cup baking soda, add in 12 drops each of rosemary and eucalyptus essential oils, then whisk it and pour 1/4 cup of the mix into the tub while warm water is running. – Natalie Coughlin • I plant rosemary all over the garden, so pleasant is it to know that at every few steps one may draw the kindly branchlets through one’s hand, and have the enjoyment of their incomparable incense; and I grow it against walls, so that the sun may draw out its inexhaustible sweetness to greet me as I pass. – Gertrude Jekyll • I put on the Hank Williams and the Patsy Cline and the Rosemary Clooney on vinyl – I’m not trying to be some cool indie-rock person, I just love the way it sounds – and throw on a T-shirt and jeans. In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. – Kelly Clarkson • I try to do nothing. I drink rosemary when I have a lot of work to do. People take coffee, they take speed, whatever. I take rosemary. – Agnes Varda • If President Nixon’s secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses’ secretary, there would only be eight commandments. – Art Buchwald • I’ll keep working as long as I live because singing has taken on the feeling of joy that I had when I started, when my only responsibility was to sing well. – Rosemary Clooney • I’m hooked on Polanski’s films, his psychological thrillers. I love ‘Rosemary’s Baby,’ I love ‘Repulsion.’ – Vera Farmiga • In our everyday garden grow the rosemary, juniper, ferns and plane trees, perfectly tangible and visible. For these plants that have an illusory relationship with us, which in no way alters their existentiality, we are merely an event, an accident, and our presence, which seems so solid, laden with gravity, is to them no more than a momentary void in motion through the air. Reality is a quality that belongs to them, and we can exercise no rights over it. – Leo Lionni • It had been three weeks, four days and twelve hours since I’d seen her. Since she’d torn my heart out. If I had been drinking, I’d blame it on the alcohol. It had to be an illusion, a desperate one. But I hadn’t been drinking. Not a drop. There was no mistaking Blaire. It was her. She was actually here. Blaire was back in Rosemary. She was at my house. – Abbi Glines • I’ve always been a huge fan of ‘The Shining,’ and ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ is one of my favorite films of all time. – Mary Elizabeth Winstead • My all-time favorite skin cream is from Poland. Its called Eva Natura with Polish herbs, including rosemary. It smells wonderful and is soothing and comforting. – Dagmara Dominczyk • My company is called Ciné-Tamaris, which is rosemary. That’s my speed. Hot water and herb. – Agnes Varda • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Now you can leave home at any time you like.Your mother comes down and finds a picture of the Eiffel Tower on her plate. And she says, ‘Oh! Rosemary’s gone to Paris. No wonder the bathroom was so tidy.’ And nobody minds. But in my day, to go abroad with all those wicked Frenchmen, what would become of them? So no-one ever went anywhere. – Quentin Crisp • Personally I like the slow burn; I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. When I think about the movies that were most effective on me as a viewer I think of the original Haunting and the Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, the Sixth Sense, the Others. These movies are not over the top at all, they are movies that rely on good story telling, good acting, good premise, good exposition and I want to stay true to that in future projects. – Oren Peli • Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse had signed a lease on a five-room apartment in a geometric white house on First Avenue when they received word, from a woman named Mrs. Cortez, that a four-room apartment in the Bramford had become available. – Ira Levin • Rosemary bubbled with delight at the trunks. Her naivete responded whole-heartedly to the expensive simplicity of the Divers, unaware of its complexity and its lack of innocence, unaware that it was all a selection of quality rather than quantity from the run of the world’s bazaar; and that the simplicity of behavior also, the nursery-like peace and good will, the emphasis on the simpler virtues, was part of a desperate bargain with the gods and had been attained through struggles she could not have guessed at. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • Rosemary felt that this swim would become the typical one of her life, the one that would always pop up in her memory at the mention of swimming. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • Rosemary Rodriguez directed on Rescue Me for us, and I love her. She’s fantastic with actresses and she’s got a great sense of humor. That was a huge thing for me. – Denis Leary • She felt a little betrayed and sad, but presently a moving object came into sight. It was a huge horse-chestnut tree in full bloom bound for the Champs Elysees, strapped now into a long truck and simply shaking with laughter – like a lovely person in an undignified position yet confident none the less of being lovely. Looking at it with fascination, Rosemary identified herself with it, and laughed cheerfully with it, and everything all at once seemed gorgeous. – F. Scott Fitzgerald • She wished she had a little yellow house of her own, with a flower box full of real flowers and herbs – pansies and rosemary – and a sweet lover who would swing dance with her in the evenings and cook pasta and read poetry aloud. – Francesca Lia Block • So it’s Rosemary Clooney – Rosemary? Rosemary Clooney, right? The singer? Yes. Clooney, doing, singing, “I’ve Grown Accustomed To Your Face,” which is, you know, really a love song, but what we see on stage is we see one puppet that’s got a ridiculous blonde wig on and she looks ridiculous, and next to her is a head that’s just a piece of fabric with a pretty face on it. – Brian Henson • The best advice I got from my aunt, the great singer Rosemary Clooney, and from my dad, who was a game show host and news anchor, was: don’t wake up at seventy years old sighing over what you should have tried. Just do it, be willing to fail, and at least you gave it a shot. That’s echoed for me all through the last few years. – George Clooney • The scent organ was playing a delightfully refreshing Herbal Capriccio – rippling arpeggios of thyme and lavender, of rosemary, basil, myrtle, tarragon; a series of daring modulations through the spice keys into ambergris; and a slow return through sandalwood, camphor, cedar and newmown hay (with occasional subtle touches of discord – a whiff of kidney pudding, the faintest suspicion of pig’s dung) back to the simple aromatics with which the piece began. The final blast of thyme died away; there was a round of applause; the lights went up. – Aldous Huxley • There are some things, after all, that Sally Owens knows for certain: Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Add pepper to your mashed potatoes. Plant roses and lavender, for luck. Fall in love whenever you can. – Alice Hoffman • There’s rosemary and rue. These keep Seeming and savor all the winter long. Grace and remembrance be to you. – William Shakespeare • There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember. – William Shakespeare • There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray you, love, remember: and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts. There’s fennel for you, and columbines: — there ‘s rue for you; and here’s some for me: — we may call it, herb of grace o’Sundays: — you may wear your rue with a difference. — There’s a daisy: — I would give you some violets; but they withered all, when my father died: — They say, he made a good end. – William Shakespeare • With Rodham, for instance, it has to work on an emotional level. It has to work on a character level. If it’s only “Look, it has famous people,” then it’s a wax museum come to life and that’s really boring. It’s sort of like what they say about science fiction and horror where the really good ones, if you remove that element of it, it still has to work. That’s the reason The Shining works or Rosemary’s Baby or Blade Runner. – James Ponsoldt

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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[omfgtrump]

Gut Punch

In the Don’s newest reality TV Show “Gut vs Brain,” coming soon to Fox, The Don puts his gut up against anyone with a brain and wins handedly. Rumor has it that his first contestant will be the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. I know what you are thinking-that’s its rigged-but the Scarecrow has some tricks up those stuffed arms, so hedge your bets.

The idea for the show grew out of a recent statement The Don made during one of his free wheeling interviews:

“I’m doing deals and I’m not being accommodated by the Fed. They’re making a mistake because I have a gut and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.”

The format of the show is simple: Experts in different fields, supporting documents in tow, make their case and The Don, surrounded by female models (“I need them to stimulate my gut,” he explained), rejects their position. The models cross the stage carrying placards with the following options and the crowd tweets their answers.

 Liar

 Fake News

Low I.Q.

Then on cue they chant: “Gut Beats the Brain! Gut beats the brain! The man has guts!” Raucous applause follow and the contestant is booed off stage.

“Gut beats brain! Gut beats brain! Gut beats brain!”

A leaked preview of the first episode includes conversations about Climate Change, the involvement of the Crown Prince, MBS, in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi and of course Russia. The Don is furious about the leaks and is asking his new Attorney General, Matt Whitaker, to look in to it. In his instructions to Whitaker he said: “I want a real investigation, not a Kavanaugh one, ok?

Here are some leaked excerpts from the exchanges from Gut vs Brain.

Climate Change

Scientist: “Mr. President, this document produced by a number of agencies of our government concludes that effects of Climate Change will not only have devastating effects on the environment but the economy as well.”

The Don: “Ha! First why should I believe anything that comes from our government? It is filled with people not loyal to me…a lot of low-IQ people.”

“My gut tells me this is all a hoax, a ploy to stop people like me from making money, which frankly, is totally unfair. And third the idea, that this will affect the economy is total hogwash. I am in charge of the economy and it is great as long as the idiot who runs the Fed does what I say.”

(The Don turns to the crowd as the models walk by with their placards and says)

The Don: “So my people, what’s your verdict?”

Audience: “Low IQ! Low IQ! Low IQ! Gut beats brain, gut beats brain and Trump has guts!”

The Khashoggi Murder

Gina Haskeell, Director of the C.I.A: “I have the tape Mr. President, would you like to hear it? I believe it provides very strong evidence of the Crown Prince’s involvement in the death of Jamal Khashoggi.”

The Don: “Why would I want to listen to a tape with yelling and screaming in it? As Bolton said, they are speaking Arabic. I can barely speak English.”

Haskell: “We could get a translator for you. And you will understand a lot with out a translator as screaming is pretty much the same in Arabic as it is in English.”

The Don: “Hmm. You make a point. But how do I know some actors weren’t hired to make the tape.”

Haskell: “We are the C.I.A. We don’t do things like that.”

The Don: “Ha! That’s your job. You make up stuff all the time. You kill people, too. Also, Jarod is in tight with MBS and he has some important stuff going on and MBS would never lie to him. ”

The Don: “So audience what do we say?”

Audience: “Liar! Liar! Liar! Gut beat brain. Gut beats brain. Trump has guts!”

The Russia Thing

Journalist: “You still refer to Mueller’s investigation as a hoax and witch hunt and deny you had anything to do with Russia’s interference in our election in 2016. To quote you: no collusion, no collusion, no collusion!”

The Don: “First of all, despite things I have said that might lead you to believe I accept that Russia interfered in our election, I am still convinced that there is a 400 lb. guy on his bed, stuffing his face with Doritos who is really responsible.”

Journalist: “Let me quote something you have said:”

“Russia has never tried to use leverage over me. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA — NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!”

“Do you stand by this despite recent revelations from Michael Cohen’s testimony regarding your pursuit of a TRUMP TOWER deal as late as June 2016?”

The Don: “You fake news people are really something, aren’t you? Am I not a business man?”

Journalist: “You are also the president of the US.”

The Don: “As I said, I am a businessman. Can you think of anything that gives more fame to your brand than being the president? So I had an idea, a small one, not a huge one, like many of my ideas, to do a little business in Russia. Kinda cool, isn’t it. Have your name at the top of a Tower in Russia or in Saudi Arabia? You wouldn’t want that? Everyday the people of Moscow go outside they see your name. Don’t you think this is great diplomacy for our two countries? But there was no deal, no loans, no nothing. So stop reporting your Fake News. So what say you my MAGA maniacs?”

Audience: “FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! Gut beats the brain! Gut beats the brain! Trump has guts!”

Gut vs Brain isn’t the only new show coming to town. Rumor has it, that Robert Mueller is working on his own show called: Gut Punch or How I Gut Ya.

This show is featured on Court TV. Sneak previews from this show are creating quite a buzz. People are just squealing over how it opens.

 The trailer shows:

Body blows by Mueller to Manafort who, instead of having a more lenient sentence for his cooperation, will have Mueller throw the book at him for lying again, despite pretending to cooperate.

Blows to Manafort’s lawyers for leaking information to The Don’s lawyers.

A gut punch to The Don for overplaying his hand, as now Mueller may now be able to delve into the Trump lawyers’ conversations with Mr. Manafort’s lawyers.

Gut punches to Jerome Corsi and Roger Stone for their email correspondence over the release of the Clinton emails and association with Wikileaks.

And an extra sucker punch for Cosi , a man who can go toe to toe on lying with The Don, and spun the tale that he knew it was John Pedesta’s emails that were going to be released, because he is prescient or better yet trusts his gut on these kind of things.

Future shows should prove very interesting. Up next:

Daniel Weisselberg, the Don’s long time CFO, Don Jr., Ivanaka and Jared.

One thing is for sure, as far as ratings go both shows will be off the charts. The other thing for sure is that Mueller has the guts to take on the “gut” and the brain to beat it.

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[lindafrancois]

5 Lessons Learned From a Skinny Nerd Deadlifting 420 Pounds

I did it.

I proved somebody wrong on the internet!

I assume the internet will be mailing me a gold medal at any point this week, but until then, let me share the story.

I gave a TedX talk years ago, and I mentioned one of my long-term goals was being able to lift 400 pounds:

My first thought: “Ouch.”

My second thought: “Why am I reading YouTube comments!? No good can come of this.”

My third thought: “I’m gonna prove this person wrong.”

As a skinny nerd with chicken legs that couldn’t build muscle to save my life, this far-off goal suddenly seemed even further off.

Fast forward to last week: not only did I FINALLY reach my 10 year goal of deadlifting 400 pounds, I blew right past it. No straps, no belt. Just some chalk and “internet justice” rage to pick up 420 pounds at a bodyweight of 172 pounds.

Not bad for a skinny nerd with a crooked spine!

Below, I share the video and the 5 key lessons I’ve learned on this long, comical, painful journey.  

#1: Screw Your Genetics.

I have the genes of an elf, without the immortality or cool ears.

I’m naturally very thin, have very thin wrists and ankles, and will forever have chicken legs.

This would be great, if I wanted to be a runner. Not great when you despise running, and you want to pick up heavy things.

Determined to overcome that fate, I began my journey to heavy lifting, only to get knocked back.

6 years ago, I discovered my genes also contain a super fun condition called “spondylolisthesis.”

Don’t bother trying to pronounce it, I still can’t.

It means my vertebrae don’t line up. Essentially, my L5 and S1 are less structurally aligned than a deep-game Jenga tower (Read how I used the “Iron Man Technique” when I got diagnosed).

Jenga: fun for game night, not for spinal metaphors.

When I first learned this, I initially assumed it meant my short lived career as a powerlifter was over, and threw myself one HELL of a pity party.

After that party ended, I got back on the horse.

(Not literally. I don’t have a horse.)

I started working on my deadlift form and core strength. I checked my ego, established a new “square one,” and essentially started over.

Thank god I refused to accept my fate.

Now, obviously I’m not a doctor – I don’t even have pants on right now – so you’re going to need to work with trained professionals if you have a serious medical condition you’re working to overcome.

In my instance, I decided that I didn’t want my genetics to decide my fate: that chicken legs and a crooked spine could be managed. While I might never reach my 10-year goal of a 400 pound deadlift, I’d get started and adjust along the way.

Yup, I know plenty of people can lift WAY more than I can. That’s cool! I’m competing against the ghost of my former self (like a Mario Kart time trial), and that’s all I can do.

I know I’m fighting an uphill battle when I focus on powerlifting when I’m much more likely to be good at running or another endurance activity. That sounds like my personal hell, so I’m gonna play THIS version of life on expert difficulty.

LESSON LEARNED: If you don’t like the game you’re playing, pick a different one! Who cares what your genetics are. You can’t do anything about them. All you can do is play the hand you’re dealt.

If you are a big-boned individual built for strength, and you want to be a marathon runner, GREAT! Start training for a 5k today. Who cares if you’re slow as molasses!

If you are built to run and want to strength train because that’s what brings you joy, go pick up heavy shit! Who cares if the person next to you can lift more? Are YOU lifting more than you did the day before?

We can only blame our parents for so much. Thanks for the crooked spine and acne, DAD.

(Kidding, my dad is cool as hell. He taught me to play poker when I was 5).

#2: Fail You Will. Learn, You Must.

After figuring out my spine sucked, I decided to hire my friend Anthony to coach me via email.

Because I couldn’t lift heavy to start, I had to reallllly focus on my form. It gave all of my muscles and tendons a chance to get caught up to speed.

So I spent two years making steady progress, which was awesome.

And then I went on vacation, where I severely strained my conjoint tendon. 

Lesson learned: never go on vacation again.

My injury was so brutal that I was convinced I had a hernia. I ended up getting an ultrasound on my crotch from two female ultrasound technicians, which was in no way at all awkward.

Kidding. It was comically awkward.

Anyways.

After taking multiple weeks off from lifting anything heavy, I started rehab, checked my ego (again), and had to rebuild my form (again), going backwards by 250+ pounds and starting over again.

I felt like Sysphysis, rolling a rock up a hill only to have it roll all the way back down.

Or Charlie Brown trying to kick a football:

But I kept at it. I learned to improve my form. I changed my breathing technique for lifting. And I accepted that I had to go backward in order to eventually break through.

For reference, click through these images and videos below. The “Before” took place before my injury, while the “After” is just a month or two back:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) on Aug 15, 2018 at 1:32pm PDT

LESSON LEARNED: Always be learning, when you win or when you lose. Setbacks can be crippling, or they can be painful lessons learned that make you more powerful. I really didn’t have a choice.

You’re gonna get shin splints or plantar fasciitis when you start training for your 5k. Literally everybody does. Take it as a sign you need to fix your running form!

You’re gonna screw up on a lift. Take it as a chance to scale back and rework your form. Video tape your form and check with somebody

You’re gonna get sick and screw up and miss a lift or a hold or a thing. It happens. You can’t change the past (yet), so might as well learn from it and move forward. Rafiki gets me:

#3) Want to Reach a Far Off Goal? Use the Minecraft Strategy.

10 years ago, I had a goal I was racing towards: a 400 pound deadlift.

I’d get marginally closer and then have to back way off. This happened at least half a dozen times, a few of which were highlighted above.

I believe the reason I finally achieved that goal is because I stopped focusing on it! Instead, I just focused on the next workout, the next exercise, the next rep.

In other words: Don’t worry about the building you’re trying to construct. Instead, focus on putting the next brick in the right place, and then repeat. The building will take care of itself.

I call this the Minecraft Strategy.

As for my workouts, I train 4 days per week: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. One hour per workout. Each day has a big boring lift attached to it that doesn’t change much at all from week to week.

For the past four years, here’s the deadlift portion of a training day (after many warm-up sets):

Week 1: Sets of 2, 2, 2 for 220 pounds.

Week 2: Sets of 3, 2, 2, for 220 pounds.

Week 3: Sets of 3, 3, 2, for 220 pounds.

Week 4: Sets of 3, 3, 3, for 220 pounds.

Week 5: Sets of 2, 2, 2 for 225 pounds.

And repeat. Every week. Every month. Year after year. Notice that each week I added just ONE rep. And once I hit 3 sets of 3, I’d go up by 5 pounds, and start back at 2, 2, 2.

That is boring as hell. And effective too. Every single week I’d be setting a personal best! I didn’t care about the far-off goal of a 400-lb deadlift, I instead put all of my focus into “Can I crush this next rep?”

This is also EXACTLY how one simply walks into Mordor: one step at a time.

Two weeks ago, my “slow cook” deadlifting workout had me doing 3 sets of 3 reps at 385 pounds.

My coach told me: “Let’s go heavy next week. And I won’t accept anything less than 415 pounds.”

This was a goal I’d have forever, and Anthony had already set my sights 15 pounds heavier to calm my nerves on the psychological challenge of seeing that much weight on the bar.

So after picking up 405 for a warmup, I went for 420 pounds:

  View this post on Instagram

  A post shared by Steve Kamb (@stevekamb) on Nov 21, 2018 at 10:43am PST

No belt, no straps.

Just some chalk and Walk the Moon’s “Portugal” on my headphones. Honestly, it was almost a letdown because it came up so quickly…but I was so damn proud to reach a powerful milestone, banish the monkey on my back, and actually feel strong.

Hence the quick fist pump to myself.

This week? It’s back to the boring stuff. Boring, consistent, progress where I just get epic results and feel really good about myself.

I’m okay with that. I jokingly talk about how I went from Steve Rogers to Captain America with this slow, small tactic.

LESSON LEARNED: Are you a shiny-object chasing “I need to be entertained and I change workouts every 3 weeks but I can never seem to get results” type of person?

Fall in love with the process and incremental progress, and you’re gonna go places kid.

Each week, just focus on being better than you did the week before. If you ONLY worry about this, you’ll look back at the end of the year and realize you’re a changed person.

Note: This means you need to show up each week, with few exceptions. Even when life is busy.

#4 – Track the Problem to Crack the Problem.

Fun fact: I currently have a folder in Evernote called “Kambsformation” (Anthony came up with it, and it just stuck).

In that folder, I have 1 note for every workout or progress photo from the past 5 years.

I now have 1159 notes in that folder:

As my friend Nick says, “You gotta track the problem to track the problem.”

I have tracked every single workout I’ve done since 2013 in this folder. I have them all in the same place, so I can quickly scan back to any date and time and see where I was, how I trained, and so on.

I know every week exactly what I need to do to be better than the week before. Using the Minecraft Strategy here, it just means I need to focus on ONE single rep heavier.

In addition to tracking my workouts, I’ve become diligent about tracking my calories too. I am not Paleo, or Keto, or Mediterranean.

Instead, I employ a “mental model” diet, with specific rules I follow:

Skip breakfast. I cover this in our guide on Intermittent Fasting.

Eat big after a workout. Adjust the rest of my calories based on goals.

Protein with every meal. Usually chicken.

Veggies with every meal. Brussel sprouts or broccoli.

Adjust carbs and fat to fit macro profile for that day.

A powerbomb shake to hit calorie goals. Water, oats, frozen berries, frozen spinach, and whey protein (I use Optimum Nutrition Vanilla).

Over the past 2 months, I’ve actually leaned out, from 185 pounds down to 172 pounds. I did that by adjusting my caloric intake very simply:

2600 calories on training days

2200 calories on non-training days.

For the first few weeks, I actually didn’t lose any weight despite “tracking my calories.” I still believed in thermodynamics, so I knew there was no nonsense like “metabolic damage” or a “slow metabolism.” Instead, I started weighing my portions (I like this food scale) and discovered a few key things.

Namely, that I was overeating without realizing it:

I was underestimating my oats portion by 50% when using a measuring cup instead of a scale. 1/2 cup of oats was more like 60g, not 40g.

My chipotle lunch contained 1.5 servings of rice by weight, not 1.

As soon as I made small adjustments to my portion sizes on these foods I ate consistently, my weight started to drop consistently.

So that takes care of my food, here’s how else I track my progress:

I take progress photos weekly and weigh myself each morning under the same circumstances.

I don’t freak out if the scale goes up or down. Instead, I take a 7-day rolling average and make sure the TREND is in the right direction.

Think of this like the bumper lanes in a bowling alley: As long as the ball is moving towards the pins, that’s good enough.

LESSON LEARNED: We pay attention to the things we track. So track the right stuff! This applies not only to health and fitness, but learning, personal finance, etc. Keep a journal, or an Evernote folder, or a Google Doc. Write down what you did, and what you’re going to do.

It’s valuable as hell. And I don’t care what kind of diet you pick: whichever one leads you to sustainable calorie management in a way that doesn’t make you want to punch a hole in the wall.

If the scale isn’t going down for you, it doesn’t mean that you have a slow metabolism, or that you’re broken. It means you are eating too many calories to induce weight loss. Track your calories more closely.  Use a scale if you need to, until you learn what actual portion sizes are.

Are you taking progress photos? They can be crucial for making sure you’re losing the right kind of weight!

Are you writing down your workouts or tracking them in an app? How else are you gonna know what you need to do this week to level up!?

#5) It’s Dangerous to Go Alone. Bring a friend.

I gotta give a shout out to my friend and coach, Anthony.

He’s been my online coach for the past 5 years and I truly consider him a valuable part of my success. He also has epic hair.

I’d say this is the best money I invest in myself each month – and I’m somebody that tells people how to exercise for a living!

When I’m traveling, or when I have busy weeks, my coach adjusts my schedule to make it work. When I am feeling good, well rested, and amped up, we crank things up. When I’m feeling overwhelmed he slows it down.

And most importantly, he doesn’t put up with my bullshit. You know what I mean – we all have excuses that we feed ourselves daily: too busy, I couldn’t because blah blah blah,.

I know Anthony doesn’t want to hear this stuff, so I just shut up and DO the work! It’s pretty awesome to have somebody else that’s invested in my success, somebody that I can bounce ideas off of, somebody that I know is keeping me accountable, checking my form, etc.

And maybe most importantly, I have the peace of mind to know that I’m actually doing the right stuff, and doing it correctly.

I feel confident saying I never would have lifted 420 pounds without my coach.

LESSON LEARNED: If you have the money to invest in yourself, hiring a coach who learns your story can be game changing. If you don’t, having a workout buddy in the trenches with you can be AMAZING too.

An accountabilibuddy, if you will.

We’re proud that we have an amazing online coaching program at NF, and we have an online community attached to our online course, the NF Academy.

I also know lots of people who work with trainers in person and they can be worth every penny (sometimes!)

If you want to take your fitness more seriously, invest in a coach if you can.

If you want to take running more seriously, join a running club.

If you want to bring a friend so you guys can lift together at the gym, do it!

You don’t have to go it alone on this journey, and oftentimes a coach or trusted friend can be an absolute game changer. It was for me.

I hope Anthony keeps me as a client for the next 5 years too.

I proved a troll wrong, now what!?

So I mentioned that I proved somebody wrong on the internet.

I mostly say this in jest.

The dude probably didn’t think twice about his comment, and hasn’t thought about it since.

Am I gonna try to right every wrong on the internet? Nope.

People say really nasty things about me all the time, that just comes with the territory. It hurts like hell. And I’ve become much better at ignoring it.

So screw the haters, I say. I don’t have time for them. I’m too busy helping people and writing about Star Wars and sometimes wearing pants (today is not that day).

So, although I jokingly say that “I owned that troll,” the reality is that it just.

doesn’t.

matter.

I’m really proud of this accomplishment, and I hope my recap can help you crystallize the goals you have floating around your head.

These days, my goals are tighter, and more focused on the process:

Work out 4 days per week, no exception.

Hit my calorie goals 6 days out of 7 each week.

Be better than the last workout.

I’m working on my handstands, mobility, and gymnastic rings stuff…but I’m gonna keep grinding on my deadlifts and squats too.

Considering how quickly that 420 pound deadlift came up, I wonder if I get a 500 pound deadlift…

No way, won’t happen. EVER. Not with these genetics 😛

(I’ll let you know in 5 years).

I’d love to hear from you: do you have a big “dragon slaying” goal you’re working towards in the future?

What can you take from this article and apply to your journey?

For the Rebellion!

-Steve

PS: We are hiring 2-3 certified coaches to join our NF Coaching Program! This is a 100% remote work-from-anywhere position. If you think you’d be a good fit, or know somebody that would, please check out our “work with us” page!

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All photo credits can be found in this very special footnote[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo Source: Promenade, Mirkwood Elf Archer, Hate leads to suffering, Ready for Scotland, Ready for War

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