#THE TABLE IS OPEN

[hannie-dul-set]

hey heyyy!! just read home for the bitchless was vv amusing did enjoy !

silly question how u rank them from most to least bitchless

personally:

1. lhs

2. csb

3. cbg

4. psh

5. jay

6. jake bc hes just there to be rich and happy

help me this question is brilliant okay okay hold on i need to open my brain muscles for this HHAHAHAHAHAHAH

heeseung & soobin - one is biologically incapable of having bitches and one is an otaku. inherently bitchless and bitchless by choice.

sunghoon - embodiment of cannot talk to women.

beomgyu - not bitchless in theory bcs he's an eboy streamer. bitchless in practice because have you fucking seen him.

jake - he vibes.

jay - gets bitches. can't keep bitches. more info in the next chapter.

[darby-rowe]

***sigh*** thinking thoughts about somno.

i fucking love somno. i dont talk about it enough on here. lets discuss…

[thekingofspin]

[rlyehtaxidermist]

incidentally i would get the alchemists to respect me because I know how to synthesise mauveine. and they would absolutely not care that i am a quadruple scorpio who disrespects the great work and has stolen their secrets because oh three dicked elf jesus we will all be so fucking rich if the local equivalent of the byzantine aristocracy doesn't have us all executed for purple crimes

[xofemeraldstars]

9-1-1 -> 7x5 ❝ you don't know me ❞

[vampelenovela]

Investigative reporter Daniel Molloy curious about the upper limits of vampiric healing meet known masochist and body horror enjoyer Armand

[boxesblr]

replaying the clip of Cleo saying "etho doesn't take himself seriously at all, but he takes other people seriously. That's part of his charm" over and over again in my head. It's so clarifying to me

[dykesynthezoid]

Every so often in the Dubai scenes Armand will do a big breath/sigh thats probably supposed to be annoyed but that mostly makes him look like an 18th century maiden whose stays have been laced too tightly and her fichu has conveniently fallen off her shoulders just the right amount to highlight her dramatically heaving décolletage

[just-more-pr0mts]

Danny has a knife that if u slash the air it opens a portal to the ghost zone.

But in his exhausted state, he slashes the knife in the air while babbling on about how he wishes there were easier ways to deal with his rouges. Accidentally causing his magical knife to slashes open a portal to a different dimension.

____________

The justice league were at a loss... there was a small floating kid who fell through a portal on their main table, who was currently screaming something about furries?

____________

Danny: .....

JL: .......

Danny: is that....a furrie?

JL: .....

Danny: ....Sam was right

[mirrorhouse]

There was an offhanded remark in your memoir about this dessert. I hope you don't mind. What does this taste like to you? Like almost all human food… Like paste, chalk, like soap.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | 1.02

[andy-clutterbuck]

The Ones Who Live | 1x03 - Bye

[nobleriver]

TWD: The Ones Who Live - Finale Opening Scene + Blurred/Faraway

Requested by Anonymous

[wolfythewitch]

Should I,,, apply for komiket,, hm,,,

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

I did @the-chains-cafe DTIYS!! I definitely recommend checking out Isa’s amazing AU :)

Closeup!

[coolerhope]

I absolutely love the Ace Attorney: Investigations timeline. It's just Miles Edgeworths no good very bad couple of days. That man goes through it in this game.

AAI spoilers underneath (like the entire story)

Like timeline wise, Edgeworth is on a plane with earthquake-like turbulence. After trying to hype himself up to move on from his trauma and finally use an elevator, he opens the elevator doors to immediately find a dead body. He then gets accused of killing said person. After proving his innocence and arriving at the airport, he then helps with a kidnapping at an amusement park only to get knocked out and kidnapped himself. After solving the whole kidnapping thing, Edgeworth returns to his office late at night only to find another dead body and is then held at gunpoint. The next case Edgeworth argues for hours about diplomatic immunity. Larry and Oldbag are there. It's almost 3am.

He just wanted to watch the Steel Samurai stage show :(

[lem0nademouth]

thinking about how fucking resilient Jews are.

thinking about my great grandparents in romania, raised in a land colonized by the same empire that sent them to the balkans, still working as tailors and butchers like their ancestors had for generations.

thinking about them stowing away on ships to america so their children could live to see adulthood.

thinking about how many other five foot two bookworms have been in my family. i know i’m not the first, and i certainly hope i won’t be the last.

thinking about how many seders my family has held throughout history, how many “next year in jerusalem”s were shouted. it hasn’t happened yet, but maybe it will.

thinking about the women who passed down kabbalah to their children while witches burned in the next village over. how many mothers kept literal magic alive.

thinking about how every single person that lived before me, every branch of my family tree, had to choose to survive. living has always been in the present progressive for Jews; every breath they took was a choice to fight just a little longer.

i come from people who survived the spanish inquisition, the soviet union, the Shoah, the judeo-roman wars, ottoman imperialism, the rise and fall of so many empires i cannot name them all, and the only uniting factor is them. they taught their toddlers the sh’ma and lit candles and read books and sewed clothes and spun linen and cured meat and davened and smiled and laughed and they did that for two thousand years. ten years ago i became the first bat mitzvah in my family line. the first woman in my family to read from the torah.

i hope they’re proud. i hope i was worth it for them.