#THE LAST 5 MINUTES ARE SO WHOLESOME

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 reading retrospective

so. i read a lot of fics in 2024. here are some of my favorites.

before i get started, please note that these are not in any particular order and these are not all of my favorites!!!!!!!! i wanted to include so many more but i just wasn't able to! also please don't roast me for reading stuff from more than two years ago :(((

anyway, here we go!!

1. Air by Cantare

as always, @cantareincminor knocks it out of the park. i'm a sucker for alternate first meeting AUs and Air is one of the good ones!! i find that it can be hard to find authentic sounding banter between yor and twilight, but cantare manages it somehow! they have such great and natural sounding dialogue. it's just a one chapter fic, but maybe if we ask nicely enough, cantare will continue one day 😏

2. like the wild geese by anonymous_viscacha

okay in all honesty, i read this for the first time last week and i scrambled to add this one to the list. it's a short one shot about a shared lunch break between yor and loid, but it's so sweet and endearing that i just had to put it on. i love love love it when people let loid and yor catch up on the childhood they lost because they deserve it. i'm kinda obsessed with this fic right now.

3. what happens outside by aerequets

it's kinda unfair that @aerequets gets to be a great artist and author but here we are. i'm not complaining tho because what happens outside is a delightful read. i enjoy exploring post reveal pre relationship twiyor and this fic is perfect for that!! it's also just really cute and reading things from yor's perspective is super endearing.

4. chaos theory by sarsaparillia

so ngl this one scared me at first because i do NOT like major character death fics and this one really seems like it, but this fic was unexpectedly wholesome and has a happy ending!!! it's short but bittersweet so i can't really talk about it without spoiling it any more. go read it! it's short!

5. eventually i fall into you, you attack my heart by princessguard

i know this is a controversial (and somewhat ironic) take but i usually really don't like eden AUs but. this fic is proof that there are always exceptions to the rule. this one is a short little story about a serious student at eden and the weird girl he keeps meeting in trees. i don't know exactly why i love this one so much but it do. it's cute and the epilogue got me grinning like a fool.

6. like real people do by Puolain

once again another alternative meeting AU. i dunno, man, it's just so much fun to see twilight and yor having the chance to be real people and accidentally fall in love which each other. i eat that up every time. great work @loveroma!

7. I'll Be There in a Minute, Dear by fluffmelange

i was SO CLOSE to putting fluffmelange's "Leave No Trace of Yourself" here because that one is SO FUNNY but alas, this delightful fic barely won out in the end. you know what you should do? read both. fluffmelange is keeping us all fed with short and sweet fics that are so much fun to read. this one is a favorite simply because the premise is so goofy and simple but i could 100% see it being canon lol. we are in your capable hands @fluffmelange.

8. I've Been Throwing Bricks At Your Window Like There's No Better Way To Say Hello by thesmallestfishinthesea

this fic has such a silly and simply premise but i love it so so so much. it's about the three times yor forgets her keys (plus one extra time loid forgets!!!!) and it's so cute to have a view inside yor's (often frazzled) mind. i don't know what else to say other than READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! great work @smallest-fish-inthesea!

this is not all!! i really wanted to include the wonderful works of @whateversawesome, @briefhottubcoffee, @spencer-is-alive, luinel, and more (ao3 literally went out just as i was typing this UGH what awful timing) but i wanted to do something to give back to this awesome community. fun fact, today is my birthday and there's a tradition in my family where the birthday person gives presents to others. so this is my present to everyone!! thanks for everything you guys and here's to another great year!

oh oh oh one last thing, i tried to link everyone's tumblr if they have one, so if there's an author on here who has a tumblr that i didn't link, let me know and i'll link them.

okay! thanks everyone!

(ALSO DON'T MAKE FUN OF HOW DIFFERENT SOME OF THE DRAWING STYLES LOOK IN SOME OF THE ILLUSTRATIONS, I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND THEY LOOK STUPID ALL PUT TOGETHER LEAVE ME ALONE😭😭😭😭😭😭)

[viviettezheart]

Cheating ★ Katsuki. B (Mdni)

★ - Kastuki and you have been dating behind your boyfriends back for almost a year now. Today is your and Bakugo’s 10 months anniversary but this day would turn out to be a complete disaster.

You all go to College in Japan and have dorms there were you can sleep if you live further away from the College. Today was a rather normal today or so you thought. After getting ready in the morning you headed to your classes with your Boyfriend. You and your Boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 years now but he never found out in the last 10 months that you have been going behind his back with Kastuki.

You know its wrong but you couldn’t help but fall for that aggressive blond dude in your classes like everyone else but somehow Bakugo’s eyes caught yours and that’s how you ended up one night in his dorm, making out.

A few of the most boring lectures were over as you and your Boyfriend headed over to the cafeteria at lunch time. It wasn’t that packed like always which is surprising but you just shrugged your shoulders and got our food before sitting down with him.

Everything was going great until when suddenly Katsuki and his Friends decided to sit with us at the table. ‘Why our table when there are empty tables around us’. I thought to myself as you day dreamed but was pulled back into reality when Katsuki sat down beside you.

Your Boyfriends hand immediately when to your inner thigh but Katsuki had the same idea and did the same. Now you’re lover and your sneaky link was caressing both your thighs without each other knowing. You began to panic and immediately stood up, not knowing how to handle the situation, you left the Cafeteria.

Both Katsuki and your boyfriend looked at you confused and continued chatting with each other. Only Katsuki knew that he was banging you yesterday in your kitchen while your boyfriend slept in your bed. Memories immediately felt his mind as devilish smirked appears on his lips.

An hour later and it was the hour were the wholesome day would turn into a complete disaster. You came back from your yoga classes you attended at the campus. You were about to put your bag down when suddenly your boyfriend who often waits for you at your dorm, came rushing to you angry. Still in your yoga pants plus top you immediately asked what’s wrong.

“Woah honey come down what happened?!..” You tried calming him down but that only worsened the situation. “You fucking slut, you cheated on me with that blond fucker at the Lunch.” Fuck! How did he find out-“W-What no where did you got that from?! That’s not true honey you have yo believe me…” You lied, immediately caressing his cheeks to comfort him and make you believe him but he was already on the verge of exploding.

Your boyfriend pushed you away. “I’ll kill that motherfucker!…” he yelled as he rushed out and rushed to the Male dorms. He found out which dorm room Katsuki’s is and stormed inside. Slamming the door open. You of course followed him and was shook to see him slamm the door open and rush straight to Katsuki who was sitting at the couch as he was chatting which his friends who sat at his bed.

He had now time to react as he was getting beaten up by your boyfriend. You gasped and tried prying your boyfriends hands away from him but no use. He only let go off katsuki when he had enough. You told him to leave as his friends help him lean against the wall with his back. You returned back to Katsuki who fortunately had no black eyes but a pretty bloody noise and messy hair which even had some blood in it. The blood from his noise was smeared all over his face, making it look like a bucked off blood was just dropped on him. It somehow turned you on, the look of him beaten up…

“K-Katsuki i’m so sorry…he somehow found out about it…” I sobbed as i caressed his blood cheeks. Tears escaping my eyes because a minute ago i thought that yesterday was the last time i saw Katsuki and could feel his hands all over me.

Katsuki smirked as you ran to him. The way you were touching his cheek and all seemed to work his nerves just enough. He looked at you with an amused look on his face. He liked how desperate you got to make him feel better. He chuckled a little and spoke. The smirk never leaving his face. "Oh babydoll don't you worry…" He grabbed your waist and pulled you on top of him so your straddling him.

“B-But you’re all bloody…katsuki are you okay?…” you said while caressing his chest over his shirt. Katsuki wrapped his arms around your waist and looked up at you. Even through his nose that was now bloodied he looked fine as hell, He was still looking pretty confident and he had a smirk on his face. "Don't worry about me…." He muttered.

You were looking down at him, eyes still blurry from the tears as you suddenly felt something underneath you growing but ignored it. “I-I’m glad you’re okay…” you whispered. "Of course I'm okay…" Katsuki chuckled a bit as he looked up at you. His hands slowly travelled down to the top of your thighs as he brought his head closer to you until he was nuzzles into the crook of your neck, the smirk on his face still being there. The smirk was so cocky and amused as he spoke again. His breath against your neck. "You seem to be enjoying this a bit too much…" you gulped but didn’t say anything. Kastuki smirked evilish as he suddenly pressed you down into the hard bulge in his pants. A clear sign that he was enjoying the way you cared about him and straddled him at the same time

A few images you sent him this morning also fluttering through his mind making him grow and began grinding you down hardly on him. You clit bumping through your yoga pants against the tip of his cock through his jeans. You both began moaning and soon enough you smacked your lips against his. Your both caught in a heated make out sessions. One hand found its way to the back of your head, pushing you as close as possible to his lips while the others was caressing the pants material over your ass before a few slaps on our ass had you whining and joilting forward.

You both had to break away from the kiss to take a breather. A saliva line connecting your lips to his wet from your tongue ones. Not longe after the make out and grinding you found yourself riding his hard cock on the floor. Your pants and top was long gone, leaving your tits exposed and your panties pushed to the side while katsuki only slide his pants halfway to his thighs down and his shirt was pushed upward as held it with his teeth so it won’t cover his chest and stomach. He loves exposing it for you so you can caress it while riding your way to heaven.

Eyes rolling into the back of your head as Katsuki began playing with your clit. “Feels good doll?…” He said in a mocking your whines tone that had you eagerly nodded your head as you move up and down like a rabbit on the search for a few carotts. “I’m gonna co-!”” You screamed before it was interrupted by the loudest whine you ever let out. Katsuki boucned you up and down for a few more seconds. Fucking your sore pussy up and down his still stiff cock until he also came. Inside you. “See baby i’m fine…don’t worry your pretty ass off…” He chukled before standing up and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and dragging you like a potato bag over his shoulder to the bathroom…

{note: smut, not proof read, barely any dialogue, MDNI!!!}

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comment Section (pt.4)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You are done filming for your upcoming movie and the team think of a way to help celebrate and as you gain more and more free time, you and spencer try and spend every moment together.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, jealous!Spencer, angst, social media au, suggestive themes, attempt at comedy, slowburn, light swearing, fluff, mutual pinning, irl celebrities, friends that act like lovers, friends/lovers.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART THREE | PART 3.5 | PART 4.5

─ · · A/N: A really long part four since I am starting school again 😔 and don't know how long it will be till I can write something.

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🔔 (name)s_username just tweeted, check it out!

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(first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago Where is everyone disappearing to and why is nobody talking to me at Smosh??? 😭 I am going public with this now, I demand to know your secrets! Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark

↳ Smosh @ smosh · 3 days ago Find us (name)...

↳ first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago That didn't make this any better!

⟳ user_one reposted username01 @ user_one · 3 days ago They are really doing (name) so dirty recently. Like, give my guy/girl a break.

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🔔 Smosh Pit just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

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Sardines Hide and Seek! Can (name) Find Us?

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 132k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 500k views 3 days ago #10 on trending we have been planning this for awhile... can (name) find our secret wrap-up filming party for them before the end of the day? watch to find out!

4,101 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator (name)s_username ✓ 3 days ago And here I thought I was going to be fired. You all are so sweet for thinking of me this way, I would never have wanted a moment of it spoiled- that revel was much worth the wait! ❤️❤️ :) ▼ 200 replies ↳ Smosh Pit ✓ 3 days ago We are all forgiven once more! ↳ username47 3 days ago Watching everyone sneak around in the background of the video was too funny, everyone looked so sus! XD ↳ username20 3 days ago (name) instantly falling to their knees and crying was so fucking cute and sweet, I swear my heart exploded in my chest as everyone clapped and cheered for them. Smosh is a true family ❤️ ↳ username99 1 hour ago They really know how to play with out heart strings, I was stressing so much these past few days- must have taken them ages to plan this out, great work to the crew! ↳ username89 12 hours ago Ian standing there weirdly as (name) cries into his chest thanking him before he hands them off to Spencer was pure gold! ↳ username72 5 hours ago IKR it was so funny but you could see how much care was in Ian's eyes when he did that.

username88 just now Okay, but from now on- only wholesome things like this for awhile okay?! Us fans cannot handle much more 😭

username56 30 minutes ago Anyone else watch the original hide and seek video before this? username33 2 days ago Okay but what was Shayne trying to do in that wig??? Did they really think that would disguise them??? username69 1 day ago Spencer picking the confetti out of (name)'s hair was so sweet. username17 2 days ago 22:42 Spencer: "are you mad at us?" ... (name): "I was but my current happiness makes up for it all." ▼ 14 replies ↳ username72 5 hours ago THE WAY THEY GIGGLE TO EACH OTHER AFTERWARDS IS SENDING ME. username21 30 minutes ago That cake by the arts department was truly a work of art! Taking all those photos and scenes from (name)'s instagram was so heartfelt. username01 just now I am late to a post for once! username42 just now The comedy of having everyone disappear after (name) turns around was perfect! I wonder if it was edited or practical...

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(name)s_username i love you all so much ❤️❤️❤️

View all 1,577 comments

spennser we all love you back!

↳ username01 just spat out my drink and had to re-read that a few times before realizing I need glasses. ↳ username99 mhmm, mhmm, we know you ALL do (some more than others) /positive

ianhecox yes, good pictures but we need you back in the meeting room.

↳ (name)s_username I am running my way over boss! 🫡

sydney_sweeney I would've liked to have been invited...

↳ smoshpit we will get you on the next one! ↳ glen_powell add me to that list as well! ↳ smoshpit on it!

username67 what's with the baseball bat??? 🤣

username40 been loving all the videos you have been in!

co_mill we are all so proud of you!!

phatchance why did you have to choose that picture of me?!

↳ (name)s_username you look so cute in it! ❤️❤️

oliviasui i look so wasted lol

↳ (name)s_username don't worry i was too XD

damienhaas never knew you to be a singer...

↳ (name)s_username oi! you joined me so don't even start Damien‼️ ↳ damienhaas i was just about to say we should do karaoke with the team! 😊 ↳ (name)s_username now you have me looking bad 😭 ↳ tomeybones never thought that possible babes ↳ (name)s_username im actually running away now!

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Some Time Later...

🔔 Smosh Pit just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

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Eat It Or Yeet it: Desserts Edition

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 79k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 370k views 2 weeks ago today the cast tests their internal systems in eat it or yeet it!

2,222 Comments

username56 2 weeks ago It is so weird not seeing Spencer and (name) in a video together for once. ▼ 31 replies ↳ username72 2 weeks ago Okay but I kinda like seeing them interact with the other cast members, they do kinda stick together in the videos. Its cute and everything but change is nice! ↳ username22 1 week ago They say distance makes the heart grow fond... (even though he was on set watching this episode) ↳ username01 1 week ago I find it so funny that they can't seem to keep away from one another for long. ↳ username22 1 week ago IKR? so adorable, so them. ❤️❤️ username04 2 weeks ago The Shayne, (name), and Angela trio are so perfect. Their chemistry never fails to humor me! username17 1 hour ago Okay but that cake made out of mayo made me seriously gag, I could not believe that Angela managed to stomach that. 🤮 username88 5 days ago The way that they all suddenly act like founding fathers as (name) throws up in the background will never not be funny to me. username43 1 week ago (name) and Angela are so cute together, I love the way they grip one another's shoulders as they laugh like that pictures of foxes XD username10 2 days ago I love the way they all chased Garrett out of the studio afterwards with chairs and cutlery and through the office. That montage was LEGENDARY.

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Board AF: Monopoly Cheaters Edition

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] Like 100k | Dislike | ... 7.75M subscribers 1.1M views 2 weeks ago we all have trust issues after this episode...

4,683 Comments

username97 2 weeks ago 14:11 (name): "SPENCER!!!" a few seconds later... Spencer: "(NAME)!!!" I need their energy. ▼ 417 replies ↳ username11 2 weeks ago I feel like their little play fight on the ground together should have been blurred. ↳ username19 2 weeks ago Those pinned hands looked... personal... 😳 ↳ username84 2 weeks ago My mind went straight back to Spencers insta post some time ago, that hug still haunts me. username05 1 week ago See I love this game, now (name) and Spencer need no excuses to watch each other the whole time and do their jobs secondary /positive ▼ 2 replies ↳ username99 5 days ago I know this is a joke in all, but they are arguably the two hardest workers at Smosh with their multiple roles both in front of camera and behind alongside all their outside work. ↳ username05 4 hours ago Exactly! we love a hardworking totally-not-couple ❤️❤️ username24 30 minutes ago Been loving the content recently, keep it coming! username08 1 week ago The BTS of this video was CRAZY. ▼ 220 replies ↳ username03 4 days ago OMG WHAT HAPPENED???? don't leave us on a cliffhanger here! ↳ username36 4 days ago Yeah, tell us PLEASE!! ↳ username08 15 minutes ago Okay, OKAY! Spencer and (name) were making a number of jokes about the handcuffs and did a side-interview where they told us all the schemes they planned- makes the video execution that much better! ↳ username06 15 minutes ago I need a membership STAT. ↳ username15 just now (edited) They really do be getter bolder and bolder. I really love seeing it. EDIT: like as in (name)'s confidence, from this movie they seem more comfortable in themselves.

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(name)s_username just went on a date!

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(name)s_username for a longer caption, just want to say that I can't believe this is my last interview before the film releases, its been a journey so thank you so much Amelia for having me on your show!

↳ chickenshopdate loved having you, lets meet up again soon, but as like friends... erm... ↳ (name)s_username yes, friends- please! ↳ username01 (name) really out here worried for all their "friendships" XD

username41 I am literally counting down the days until this film comes out, I am so excited!!

anthonypadilla could you sneak in one last interview??

↳ (name)s_username let me check quickly- wait yes 100%

username25 You were amazing on bit-city last night as the bystander! Please make more videos in this character!!

spennser i've never seen you both act so awkward on camera.

↳ (name)s_username i got nervous okay! be nice 😃 ↳ chickenshopdate happens to the best of us, thats why i brought out the booze honey! ↳ spennser i mean i would be nervous too... ↳ (name)s_username ikr?! ↳ username99 and it just flies over their head 🙄

username23 i like to image Spencer putting himself in Amelia (the interviewers) shoes while watching this video.

username10 your outfit was straight fire! please can someone tell me where to get this look???

username82 i could go for a slushee now....

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🔔 Smosh Games just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

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We Are ALL (name) HERE.

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] Like 320k | Dislike | ... 7.75M subscribers 790k views 1 week ago in (name) we trust...

2,983 Comments

username66 5 days ago Who's wet dream did we just stumble into? Mine- cough cough, what?? who said that?? * [this comment has been flagged for interfering with Youtube's Community Guidelines; for more information press HERE] username01 1 week ago (edited) I like to think when studying for this role, they all stared at pictures of Spencer longingly. EDIT: HOLY SHIT, Spencer appearing part way to help the "real" (name) with their mic as they all intently watched with jealously was out-of-this-world. Like I have no words, they all knew what to do XD ▼ 220 replies ↳ username51 just now I was LOSING MY MIND over this. ↳ username17 just now I love how they all watch what the "real" name does and copies a few seconds after XD its perfect!! ↳ username20 1 hour ago YES THIS!!! Or how Amanda kept looking behind the camera at Spencer until he told them to stop but then they all did it, im dying here 🤣🤣 username37 1 week ago I love that as soon as one of them starts laughing- they all start laughing the same way XD username40 1 week ago "real" (name)'s pout and glares were too cute as they more and more annoyed as the video progressed. username88 1 week ago Whoever green lighted this video needs to be promoted. I have watched it four times now. username37 5 days ago Yes!!! More (name) content PLEASE!!! We love YOU!!! username44 When they brought out the ipad and played kiss, marry, kill with all of (name)'s co-stars was surreal. (name) is so luckyyyy!!! username27 (name) started kit: phone background of them and Spencer, random junk in their pockets, a water bottle so big you hear it crash when knocked over, and raids their friends closets. username90 (name) looked so tried and embarrassed by the end of the video, can someone on Smosh make sure to give them a hug for me? username64 This video must have been an... experience for Spencer.

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🔔 spennser just added to their story for the first time in awhile.

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─ · · A/N: hope you all enjoyed this extra long part! i have a couple of things pre-written that i will try and space out but seriosuly, thank you all for your continued support! really makes my day, you all are so cool ❤️❤️

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios

[jamil-s-wifey]

If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"

You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!

"What the actual fuck."

A turn here. A turn there.

Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...

God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.

Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)

Really there was only one major problem.

The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.

Scratch that.

Lost: again.

And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.

"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"

Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.

Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.

Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-

"S/o."

Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."

Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!

"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."

"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.

"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"

"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."

"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.

"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."

"You should build a better palace."

"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."

"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"

"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."

"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."

He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.

"At least you won't be able to get lost."

"I told you, it's not my fault."

"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."

"EVIDENTLY."

You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.

Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.

You were about to find out.

*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!

[sgiandubh]

And of course...

The Hermès catwalk/runway show was celebrated in style, with old friends, also in attendance:

The picture below was more than probably taken yesterday evening, at a celebratory dinner hosted by La Réserve Hôtel et Spa, on Avenue Gabriel, a stone throw away from the (in)famous Champs-Elysées:

For comparison purposes, this is La Réserve's Duc de Morny Library (bar):

[Source and more details: https://www.lareserve-paris.com/en/restaurants-bars/the-duc-de-morny-library/]

Now remind me when and where did we last see this happy, friendly gay couple - and with whom?

That is correct, on December 9, 2023 - for Talk Art's 5-year celebration of their podcast at The Toklas restaurant, in London (more on this, here: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/736343564388352000/interesting-so-sam-was-at-the-talk-art-party-a?source=share).

I was writing, then:

I see no reasons to change my stance. Dr. Eustace or the Fratelli Bros are not enough evidence of the contrary (mind you, we don't have any pics with the latter, how strange is this?!).

C's Praetorian Guard (credits given accordingly) always prepared, boy scout style. It never fails.

We also have The Fan Pic (or should I say, the Stan Pic?! ) after the race:

Definitely a sweet moment, irrespective from which side of the fence you are looking at it:

Translation:

'C and her adorable sisters. I first wanted to take a selfie, but her sister on the left said 'oh no, I'm going to take your pic, ahhhh'

Mrs. Deirdre Balfe's friendlier version. No further comment.

Of course, the questions were right there, on X, minutes after she posted first (and then toyed with her readers' patience and nerves for a couple of hours):

I think she answered in a second IG story - kudos for her honesty, really:

Clear and predictable enough. We were told for years McGill never attends many high profile events with C, including the Paris Fashion Week, because of the shippers (🙄🙄🙄). What prevents them now?

Oh...What a sad, wilted lie.

Update: in the process, I totally forgot C's own post - as I long surmised, they were running to bring more attention and coverage to the Sanctuary Runners NGO. Thoughtful and wholesome, bravo!

Praetorians, I'm telling you - look who reacted almost immediately, LOL.

[thegoliathbeetle]

Hello hello! Do you have any Aaron fic recs? Or general recs? <3 TY! LOVE YOU! HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

DO I EVER

I feel Aaron fics are the only thing I read. Hold on lemme open my bookmarks...

Okay, I'll rec 5 in each category bc I literally have so many recs I wouldn't be able to fit it all in one post

KevAaron

I don't think things through (I never get time) by 11moons - KevAaron, wholesome twinyards, one long delicious oneshot. I think it's quite new, I found it last night and inhaled it in one sitting.

you're losing me. by Ateiluj - It's a relationship breakdown fic, very angsty BUT there's a happy ending for KevAaron, so no fear! I love everything about it: the characterisation is spot on, the pacing is amazing, the plot is gripping, I can't find a single fault. 75k+ or something, read it in one night.

crashing into you by ratbandaid - Just a classic KevAaron oneshot, very entertaining. Loved every minute.

whitewater by Anonymous - SEVERELY underrated, I can't believe how few comments this has. It's one of my favourite fics, although it is *EXTREMELY* angsty—don't ignore the tags because there are a lot of potential triggers. The KevAaron is very slight in this, because it's more an Aaron-centric oneshot of a self-destructive spiral that gets worse and worse and worse. Angst with a happy ending, though!

Shared Smoke on the Backyard Patio by 11moons - Another fantastic Aaron study with lots of Kevin <3 a fic I keep coming back to.

Twinyards

Quiet by SparklingDragonTears - I love those slice of life moments between the twins. This is one of them <3

talkin too much (or I don't say enough) by 11moons - this is the third fic of theirs in this list and that's because everything they write is solid gold. Another fantastic Aaron study with bonus Andrew.

one more or one less, nobody's worried by sistercacophony - My skincare routine? Why, it's Aaron angst with lots of Twinyard drama and wholesomeness. Another great fic about Aaron's trauma, though ofc, mind the tags.

a guard dog there just for her by milfairy - I love milfairy's whole Trans Aaron universe, but this one is definitely my favourite. It's also the first in the series I think?? It's fantastic, with lots of Twinyard angst and love.

Medical Misunderstanding by CamilleDuDemon - Another author I highly recommend for their amazing Twinyards fics. This one is about Aaron being a good brother to Andrew.

KateAaron

you're holy to me by melopeya - I love little insights into their relationship, and this is just such a beautiful hurt/comfort moment where Katelyn showers Aaron with love. Your honour I just ADORE them.

aaron's lament by nanatsuyu - A fluffy family fic with KateAaron cuteness.

this red is for you by Ominous - I recommend their entire fic universe tbh but this one is particularly dear to me!!! I adore it. Protective and badass Katelyn, we love to see it.

a girl so bright she'll blind you by badcats - Aaron and Katelyn falling in love!! <3

with my last breath by ace_andi - Aaron and Katelyn talk after Seth's death. BONUS because I love my girl Katelyn:

Like a Force to be Reckoned With by Mia_writes - tbh this is not an Aaron fic, but it's a Katelyn character study set during Aaron's trial.

Rarepairs: MattAaron and Aaron/Allison

You look beautiful, but you don't look fine by orphan_account - I love, love sickfics, but it's very rare to come across an expertly written one. This is probably one of the best sickfics I've read in the aftg fandom. It's definitely one of the best Aaron-centric sickfics out there.

The End of the World as We Know It (But Not Really) by kiraisstillhere - Unfortunately this is incomplete, but it's a really interesting fic that starts with Aaron relapsing and Matt finding him. I'm always down to read anything that explores their addictions.

friends of friends by likearecord - I didn't know I'd even need to read an Aaron/Allison fic, but omg this one convinced me. They'd work SO well if they could both stop being so pissy for five minutes. A very enjoyable read!!

...And I would be remiss to not mention my own Aaron-centric fics:

can you bring life to anything? - it's an Aaron character study (oneshot)

Dope Sick - a freeform multichapter fic exploring his addiction and relapse

There you go!! I have so many more fic recs, the list just keeps growing because I read a lot of fic xD (And actually, I read only Aaron fics these days)

Thanks so much for asking!! this was really fun :D

[mistydeyes]

Imagine dad!ghost at his daughter's jiu-jitsu/martial arts tournament where she is absolutely demolishing all her opponents.

Ghost and s/o would most definitely be those over-proud parents like Cam and Mitchell from modern family 😭💀

Was wondering if you could write a fic for this??

Y E S thank you so so much for requesting this! first off i love modern family and second who doesn't LOVE a cute lil wholesome moment with the riley family!

a child's eye of the tiger

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summary: It's clear your daughter takes after her father when she absolutely demolishes the competition in her youth jiu jitsu match.

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader (established relationship w daughter)

warnings: swearing, violence involved in a jiu jitsu match?

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"What sport is this again?" Simon asked you with a shit-eating grin painted on his face. You slapped his thigh lightly as you adjusted your gaze to find your daughter waiting patiently on the mat. "Jiu-jitsu, Simon," you whispered, "been doing this since reception." You didn't see his reaction but you knew he had a proud fatherlike smile. Despite always asking you these inconsequential questions, he secretly was thoroughly involved in his daughter's life. You tapped your fingers anxiously as you watched the different age groups compete across the dark blue mats. Your daughter sat alone, watching their every move, and stretching her little legs out. "She's definitely your little girl," you whispered to Simon as he put a comforting arm around you.

"Next we have Isla Riley," the announcer called and yours and Simon's cheers drowned out the announcement of her competitor. "Go Isles!" you shouted, ignoring the glares from the surrounding parents. Despite only being six, she sarcastically shook her head before taking her stance. She adjusted her gray and black striped belt as she looked angrily at the other girl in front of her. As soon as the announcer commenced the match, your daughter ran towards the girl, grappling for her legs. You could feel your hands tighten around Simon's as you watched her overpower her and pin the girl to the mat. "She's actually pretty good," Simon beamed as the match continued. Your daughter was then put on her back by the much taller girl and you could feel yourself reacting to their action. "Oh fuck," you said, a little louder than acceptable, and you looked away from the turned heads. Just when you thought your daughter was going to lose the match, your daughter wrapped her legs around the girl's neck and threw her off of her.

"That's my girl," Simon whispered and you could see him smile widely, a rare sight in the Riley household. You were counting the various points your daughter was continuously awarded and it was clear she was in the advantage after her last move. The round continued as your daughter scored for her knee-on-belly, mounting, and passing the guard moves. You could feel yourself clapping when she accomplished the highest-scoring move, the rear mount, and pinned the girl in between her legs and arms. Her heels wrapped around her torso and the girl struggled in her grasp. "I helped her practice that one," you smiled to Simon and you could hear him laugh to himself. As soon as the match started, the 5 minutes were up and the announcer named your daughter the winner with a score of 36. "Let's go Isles!" you shouted and Simon joined with a loud clap that reverberated across the gym walls.

Once she shook her opponent's hand, she ran over to you with her hair in knots and breathing heavily. Simon lifted her up into his arms and placed a soft kiss on her temple. "Happy to be home to see you, baby," he whispered to her as he smoothed out her wild hair. "Did you see I did a take the back?" she excitedly cooed, "I could hear you cheering for me, Mum." You hugged your little family in a warm hug as you celebrated her recent accomplishments. "Want to get out of here?" Simon asked and Isla giddily nodded in response. As you walked out of the gym after a few words with her coach, she held her dad's hand proudly and listed off various sweet shops she wanted to visit. You stood behind them and in a secretive moment, you took a picture of them hand-in-hand. "Glad to have you home, Simon," you whispered before your daughter turned to you and beckoned for you to hurry up. "We're not all athletes here," you joked as you sprinted to walk with your loving daughter and husband.

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sidenote: this is what i pictured w simon and the reader while writing this

[kyunghwannie]

Who in twice have this wild experiences in sex. If you can give explanation much better.

You can put a member many times over if you think she experience more than one of this scenarios.

1.) Had sex in a public place.

2.) Had a quickie sex during break while having a concert.

3.) Had one night stand with a fan.

4.) Had sex with a man with big belly or fat man.

5.) Had sex with a much older man like 20+ years older.

6.) Had sex with a man having BBC or BWC.(Specify who's member prefers BBC or BWC)

P.s. This is part 1 of my ask since I thought of many scenarios so I decided to divide it. Take your time answering this bro, I know you can cook. 🔥

KYUNGHWANNIE’S "TWICE: BEHIND THE SCENES (WAY BEHIND)" SEXUAL ADVENTURES TIER LIST

Before that, go read Chaeng

(Disclaimer: This is 100% delulu fanfiction. But also… idols are human. And humans do wild shit. So let’s play pretend with sparkly judgment.)

1.) Had Sex in a Public Place

Winner: Sana (duh).

Where? Backstage at a music show, pressed against a mirror in the shared dressing room.

Why Her? That girl has zero fear. One wink at a staffer she trusted, and suddenly she’s hiking her skirt up in a supply closet, muffling her moans in his shoulder while the others rehearse "TT" down the hall.

Bonus Detail: She loved the risk—sweat dripping down her thighs, his fingers digging into her ass as she rode him, whispering "unnie could walk in…" just to feel him throb.

Honorable Mention: Nayeon (airplane bathroom. Allegedly.)

2.) Quickie During a Concert Break

Winner: Jihyo.

The Scene: Coachella. 90-degree heat. She’s drenched in sweat, still in her stage corset, and some VIP fan (who totally wasn’t Kyunghwannie, hehe) sneaks her into a trailer.

The Act: Bent over a makeup chair, skirt shoved up, him pounding into her like he’s trying to match the bass of "Feel Special." She came twice in 7 minutes.

Aftermath: Fixed her smudged lipstick, walked back onstage like nothing happened, and still hit the high note in "Cry For Me." Icon behavior.

3.) One-Night Stand with a Fan

Winner: Momo.

The Setup: After-party in Tokyo. Drunk, horny, and over the dating ban. Some ONCE with very good dance skills (and hands) flirted his way into her hotel room.

The Reality: She rode him reverse-cowgirl so he could watch her ass bounce, then kicked him out at 4 AM with a "don’t tweet about this."

Regrets? Zero. But she did steal his hoodie.

4.) Sex with a Fat Man

Winner: Jeongyeon. (I judge you for this ask, anon. But I deliver.)

The Story: Post-breakup rebound. Some adorable chubby producer with dad vibes made her laugh, then ate her out like it was his last meal.

Her Review: "10/10, would suffocate again."

Kyunghwannie’s Note: I hate that what i wrote is kinda wholesome

5.) Sex with a Man 20+ Years Older

Winner: Mina.

The Plot Twist: It was her ballet instructor from her pre-debut days. Reconnected, "mentorship" got… hands-on.

The Dynamic: She let him tie her up with silk ribbons (for ~artistic purposes~), then cried when he fucked her with the maturity of a man who actually knows how to pace.

Why It Fits: Mina’s a secret old soul. Also, "respect your elders" took on a new meaning.

6.) BBC/BWC Enthusiast

Prefer BBC: Sana (again). Size queen energy. Once whimpered "it won’t fit—" before taking every inch like the champ she is.

Prefer BWC: Tzuyu. Shy until she’s not. Some blonde foreign model ruined her for mortal men.

Wildcard: Chaeyoung (no preference, but definitely drew her partner’s dick in her notebook afterward).

Final Verdict:

Most Likely to Have Done All of These: Sana. No further questions.

Least Likely (But Still Possible): Dahyun… unless it was in a church confessional. Then maybe.

(Remember, ONCE: This is fiction. But if you squint… 👀)

=======

KYUNGHWANNIE’S "TWICE & THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF PORN-BRAIN FANS" ROAST SESSION ✨

(Disclaimer: This is a 100% unserious, glitter-coated drag of porn tropes, not the members themselves. Idols are innocent angels who only drink smoothies and hold hands. Probably.)

Sparkly Judgment Delivered! ✨ (Now go touch grass, anon.)

1.) The "Fat Guy Kink" – AKA "Sir, This Is a Wendy’s"

Alleged Suspect: Jeongyeon (because I've seen most fic i saw of her insist in wattpad).

The "Plot":

"Ohhh, Jeongyeon loves a big teddy bear of a man!" – says every fanfic written by someone who watches too much "Chubby CEO Seduces Idol" JAV.

Reality Check: Jeongyeon’s type is literally "someone who brings me food and leaves." She’s not climbing Mount Dad Bod for plot convenience.

Roast Level: 🌟 "If I wanted a belly, I’d just wait for Momo to finish eating." – Jeongyeon, probably.

2.) The "BBC/BWC Obsession" – AKA "Pornhub Called, They Want Their Stereotypes Back"

Alleged Suspects: Sana (BBC) & Tzuyu (BWC)

The "Logic":

"Sana’s Japanese, so obviously she craves BBC!" – 🤓 

"Tzuyu’s tall, so she needs BWC to match!" – 🤡

Reality Check:

Sana would actually prefer someone who can keep up with her energy, not just their shoe size.

Tzuyu is not a math equation ("if height = dick length, then…"). Girl just wants a guy who doesn’t faint when she looks at him.

Roast Level: ✨ "Anon, you’ve been watching too much ‘Foreigner Corrupts Innocent girl’ category. Go outside."

Final Verdict:

TWICE’s real kinks? Personal space, sleep, and not being shipped with random body types.

Sparkly Roast Complete! 🌈 (Now go watch a cooking show or something. Reset that algorithm.)

💎 P.S. for Anon: "No kink-shaming here, babes—just a gentle, sparkly reality check that real-life TWICE isn’t the weird JAV plot where a big bbc guy pound them into oblivion or a pervy fat guy is leeching on them. Maybe if It's like fluff, iam acceptable to it. Wholesome fun is smth else.. Enjoy your fantasies, but maybe balance that diet with some fresh air and a cold shower. Love ya! ✨" and dont argue with me or else I'll make a smut with the same trope saying it is you who is the Guy- oh wait, you’d enjoy it anyway. SHIT!-

(Translation: Go off, but hydrate.)

[fukit-im-bucket]

Upon your guys' request! Here we are! 🤗

ALRIGHT, it's time to start prepping for Ekubo Week! LET'S GO. ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

It will begin one month from now at the start of August 1st, going until August 7th.

Here are the prompts! I wanted this to be an all mediums friendly prompt list; fanart, fanfics, AMVs, music, poetry, cosplay, whatever strikes your fancy! And you are free to interpret the prompts however you want.

DAY 1: Everyday life / Possession

DAY 2: Genderbent / Aus

DAY 3: Outfits / Dimple forms

DAY 4: Dimple Shenanigans / Dimple cares

DAY 5: Broccoli Tree Arc / Godly

DAY 6: Acknowledgment / Friends

DAY 7: Dimple Birthday / Free-Day

This will be completely SFW and will have the standard criteria for what not to include, i.e., proship pairings, nsfw/suggestive, gore, and bigotry.

Despite barring gore, depictions of blood or fight scenes are allowed IF tagged properly.

Romantic pairings/ships are allowed, too. Just keep it wholesome or at most PG-13 and tag it accordingly. :)

Last-minute entries are allowed. (If you need an extended specific amount of time, just dm me!)

LASTLY, Please @ me or include the hashtag #ekuboweek2025 so I can see all your wonderful submissions! ^^

Oh, and one more thing, if y'all could leave a comment confirming you'll be joining, that'd be great! I'd like to get an estimate on how many ppl will be participating. 🫡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you know with Dimple being my favorite character and all, he means a lot to me and I thought it would be a wonderful thing to dedicate a whole weeks worth of appreciation to him and for the fellow Ekubo fans out there. :)

Dimple is such an eccentric, fun, charismatic, phantasmagorical character and should invoke as much in the art you create!

Please enjoy this Ekubo Week and have fun with it!! No pressure, just Dimple. 🙏

(P.S. I know Dimple doesn't have a canon birth date, but I thought it'd be fun to throw the prompt in there anyway bc he deserves to be celebrated, too. ✨️💚✨️💚✨️)

[firstkanaphans]

wandee goodday anon reporting back, i enjoyed it so very much. loved the characters, loved the dynamics, wanted to punch dr ter in the nose a few times. i loved that there wasn't a episode 11 of doom?? and how generally light and colourful the show is, both in mood and visually especially as i watched never let me go (phuwin's kissing is my enemy but that's off topic) just before lmao, the contrast was something else.

i also was delighted to have a side couple that a) was established from the start and b) only had drama totally unrelated to their relationship and stayed wholesome and loving each other the whole time, cher bestest boyfriend/brother in law/son in law/gym manager 💕💕.

the whole one night stand to fwb to fake dating thing in 2.5 episodes was hilarious and so was the fake dating to swimming in denial for about the whole rest of the show taking about one or two episodes, thank god yak got clarity soon enough because i would've tried to punch him too but he ended up having the patience of an angel. i was highly entertained that being seen in a same sex relationship as a public figure was a problem for him that lasted a whole 5 minutes too.

dee is the loveliest bean and i love a character who stands their ground when the person who rejected them just magically realises their feelings when a new love interest appears, like how many times was ter basically told to get lost ffs.

oh right i also love a forgiving parents for things that are actually forgivable moment because i've had enough of the shittiest parents of the decade in drama-land crying over their faults for a minute and the kids are like yknow what it's okay i don't mind about the trauma you gave me anymore ✌️🤪

had fun spotting a few places from other shows (golf's gay café, vivi's place in love sea -love what they did to it btw, dee's place might be one of my favourite fiction apartments-, boston's pace) and had even more fun laughing at emi's hair extensions, who did that to my girl?? and that ~american~ champion whatshisname's thick ass french accent.

all in all, 10/10 show, greatinn are wonderful together, might rewatch in the future, can't wait for the memoir of rati heartbreak (i was already looking forward to it bc of actual plot reasons but now that i've seen the guys in it can act good and kiss pretty, it's all bonus points).

I'm so glad you liked it! Sorry it took so long for me to respond to this. I was actually in the process of re-watching Wandee Goodday myself and wanted to finish it before I answered this ask. It's such a good show and stands up very well even on a rewatch.

Since you watched after the fact, you avoided most of the fandom drama, but when I tell you people hated this show and yet continued watching week after week just to shit on it. It was one of my more bizarre fandom experiences for sure. Like I get why there was drama surrounding Only Friends. I don't get why there were such a visceral reaction to a cute little romcom.

The highlights for me were the incorporation of casual sex into the narrative in a way I felt was realistic and, of course, OyeiCher who still have my whole heart. Emi's extensions were an absolute travesty.

One thing I did notice on my rewatch which I missed the first time through is that Yak often switches his polite particle to "ka" when talking to Dee, which is very soft and flirtatious. The reason it stood out to me is that I've noticed Great does this with Inn too and I wonder if it was his choice to change the dialogue rather than something that was in the script?

Memoir of Rati only has 2 or 3 Qs left, so I'm hoping we will get it by June. I have a lot of faith in this screenwriter and am very excited to see GreatInn again because I miss them terribly 😭

[anonmousegosqueak]

Again, about the married multiverse but this time it came to me as hobbies they could share…

Ghostsoap have a little miniature collection, nothing big, but Simon likes carving little animals out of wood when he has nothing to do and Soap every once in a while takes his acrylics out and starts painting them, some more realistically, with fur, shadow and highlights and others (in particular two ferrets that were soooooo cute) he paints them to resemble them. One with really dark fur and a white face and one with brown fur, a lighter stomach and face to which he attacked some extra wood to recreate his mahawk (when he showed them to Simon the man hugged him tight and didn’t let him go for a few minutes for how happy he was about that dumb little project

RoachGaz have a small garden, but they use every square centimeter of it to plant some flowers. They have a bunch of plants, cactuses, aromatic plants, even some Aloe for Roach's skin for when it itches more than usual, they slend hours gardening every day and have shared a bunch of kisses between the flower pots (once a leaf stopped them from kissing and Gaz laughed so hard he had to sit down to not fall down and bring Roach with him

NikPrice have something weird going on. Price saw Nik's mom crochet ONCE and after that got a mild interest. It started with simply noticing how a lit of stuff in Nik's house was handmade, expecially things like hats, scarves and gloves. The in evolved into watching without being noticed a crochet square tutorial. Then he made a little scarf. And gifted it to Nik. He wasn't able to walk the morning after for how passionate that night was (Nik let him dominate by using it as a leash to control him) and now a lot of the kinky stuff in theri bedroom instead of being leather is crochet. This also means that every time Nik wears a scarf made by Price he gets a chub

LaswellSara. So, how do you impress a wife that is super strong, works for the CIA, is super smart and is a great investigator? Easy, rubies cube variants. Sara had started resolving a few in middle school, but then lost the passion. Then when she saw one in a store at a discout she bought it and tried to resolve it at home. Skip to several months later where a whole shelf and a half is full of rubik cubes, 2×2, 3×3, 4×4, 5×5, 6×6, mirror cubes with weird shapes, other shapes, coloured, variants… she and Laswell regularly try to beat each other's time record

You *cannot* stick the NikPrice bit in without a warning. I literally choked. Wholesome, wholesome, SURPRISE- SMUT THAT LITERALLY MADE YOU BLUSH.

(/j I love it. Gimme more weird kinky bastards that go outside the norm. I literally crochet and I can confirm, that stuff is strong and could easily be used for that sorta stuff.)

I've gotta make these shorter, I'm about to go for a walk and I wanna get my thoughts out before I get hit by a bus (and you're explanation is amazing, I don't even need to add anything)

Soap helps Ghost unlock his creativity, in return Ghost is almost like a muse. He gives things for Soap to paint, whether it's a portrait or little figurines. Also- may I suggest he carved a little goose and a little cat? For no particular reason at all, (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠)

We literally both said Roach and Gaz have a garden and I think that just speaks to how perfect the thought is. Roach likes to grow herbs for Gaz's cooking, Gaz likes to grow aloe and other things to help Roach's burns.

Hggfhhhhhshdhhwhehe freaky Nik Price. (That's all I can say, I'm too busy losing my mind)

Rubik's cube lesbians is a beautiful genre, I will gladly put Laswell and Sara in that category (also dispite Kate being autistic, Sara is more 'stereotypical autistic'. She's the one who introduced the idea, contrary to what others might think.)

Also- why haven't we added Alejandro and Roldolfo to this?!? I need my gay Mexican cowboys doing cute domestic shit, N O W.

(they're living in Las Almas obviously, I just can't decide who gets the last name because they're both so good.)

[speakyn]

I just finished watching Lucky Luke (2009) and.. my god what was this. My thoughts are all over the place

- the origin plot was very weak, like. Why? Why is his name fucking John? It's kinda cool they made him mixed, but I believe part of why Luke is such an interesting character is his origin we know nothing of. We don't know where he comes from, we don't know his parents, we don't know any other family, we know nothing, just like him. I'm pretty sure luke just spawned into existence at one point because god was like "this wild west is kinda fucked up, we need someone calm for balance"

- that song about luke at the beginning was an absolute banger

- Jolly and Luke in this movie was absolutely the best part. They were absolutely hilarious, I can really feel the "these two are inseparable" bond between them

- SO many people. Calamity, Jesse, Bill, Pat and at one point fucking Phil. The last one being the weakest one cause wtf was phil even doing there, there was literally no need for him to be there.

- nice how they mentioned luke stopped smoking (and once again they mock him for it)

- I found it pretty funny how the bad guys suddenly became good and it was - in a way - quite wholesome.

- good on Jesse for showing off he is cultured like bro kept reciting shakespeare and shit. like how much free time can you have. That said, his coat was GIGANTICALLY long

- Bill's actor was so fun to watch lol, man had the time of his life. They made him an adult, but it actually worked! I like how he still acted like a child

- While I didn't like that they made Calamity love Luke(can we just have a guy and a woman being friends and nothing more please), she was an ABSOLUTE ICON in this movie and I will not accept any slander. She was the GOAT in this entire movie. She beat up Luke. She is an angel, I love her

- W on this film for not including the Daltons for once

- It's hilarious how everyone went "I will kill Lucky Luke and no one else" as if Joe hasn't been claiming that title as the first one. Get in line, guys

- Whoever made this film CLEARLY was thirsting for Jean Dujardin(the actor of Luke), because bro couldn't make it more clear. Shirtless, got the shit beaten out of him(its giving clint eastwood in the dollars trilogy), traumatized, did I mention shirtless? I'm not complaining(not at all), but its so funny; he was absolutely great though, best live action depiction of luke(unlike terrence hill)

- that entire slot machine sequence was.. interesting. Very creative build

- I liked the poor lonesome cowboy song at the end and Jolly and Luke's banter. Those two keep me alive

- love how luke just disappeared when the president went to give him a medal

- Coop is like Oldtimer. I could see oldtimer giving luke a gun for shits and giggles(but it's not true cause whenever kid lucky holds a gun oldtimer is right there to take it away)

And now, I need a minute to talk about the WORST part of the film. I got traumatized and I will call a therapist for this. The creators of this film knew what they were making, they knew who Lucky Luke was.

But apparently they did not know that luke NEVER settles down. Morris has said it, it has been mentioned in albums(especially the fiance of lucky luke) and these guys were too blind to see it. Belle, Eleanor, or whatever her fucking name is, why. Why did they give him a woman. Why did they make him settle down. Every moment with her on screen made me hope she'd die or something.

To be fair, as a character she's fine. She has dreams to travel, she is a beautiful woman, that's great! That moment with her and Luke at the end (and the slap) was cute. But my god why did they make her a love interest. The beginning with the lap dance was so uncomfortable to watch I almost wished I was blind. Her singing was also really annoying, but thats just me being biased

To end on a joke I've been wanting to make this entire time: Jean clearly did not come from du jardin

TLDR; its aight, its funny. Its 5/10. It would've been a 6 but Belle/Eleanor/Woman was in it for way too long so I was forced to take it down a notch, but I aint gonna lie, I really genuinely like this film lol. Its so unserious and it just owns it. I'll make a different post for some lines I really liked

[twistedwonderlandobsession]

Blinded by Beauty

Type: Angst

Character(s): Rook, Vil, Kalim, Ace, Deuce, Epel

Format: Oneshot

Warnings: !!Spoilers for Chapter 5!!, general grief, mentions of slight injury, mentions rejection

It hurt...so very much, you and Vil had realized it at the same time as you saw Neige's act.

You Were Going To Loose.

The burning sensation of mediocrity filled you. You could see it now.... but after a moment of calming yourself, you went off to find Vil, who had stormed off...

Your faith had been restored when Malleus had restored the stage for you. A glimmer of hope sparking in his support. Silencing your inner pessimist and focusing on the bright side of things. After merely fifteen minutes, you were watching your team preforming. Suddenly you were on stage next to Kamil, waiting anxiously as they counted votes, the minutes before recalling how you got here becoming a blur.

The voice of the announcer echoing throughout the stage as you stood next to Kalim.

Thirty seconds until the polls close! Ten, nine, eight, seven...Three, two, one... TIME!

A loud bang rang throughout the stadium, bot once, bot twice, but three times.

We are now getting the final tally.

...And the results are in!

M-my goodness... Is this really possible?!

Would you believe that the difference between first and second place is ONE vote?!

A long and dramatic pause ensued, you could Feel the tension in the air, and in your body. Physical restraining yourself from bitting your nails or picking your skin out of anxiousness. Purely because you knew Vil would scold you and probably gracefully beat your ass.

ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY!!!

What a wholesome performance it was!

O-oh my gosh... Really? We got the top spot?Thank you... Thank you so-

In that moment it was like your whole world came crashing down and you were reliving all those brutal rejections all over again as Neiges voice and everything else faded into the background....Why?...why did this always happen? Why were you always not enough? Always the last pick. Always the last resort.

And just like that you hear Vil in outrage breaking you out of you little world you always went to... you didn't hear the first part of the conversation like, but the second part is what broke you.

"Oh, fair Vil. Our Roi du Poison....I must apologize, for my choice has brought you much anguish...."

You glanced over at Rook to see him appearing to be sorrowful with his hands held up.

"But I simply couldn't lie to myself."

"...Huh? What are you talking about?"

Vils confusion was as evident as your own, since to you it was if Rook was rambling on about nonsense once more, but no matter. Rook carried on spouting his nonsense despite the reactions of others to his eccentric behavior.

"What? What do you mean, you're the one most deserving of my ire?"

"Well, you see... Here."

Rook pulled his phone out of out his pocket, unlocking it with his passwords and opening Google pulling up the voting website before flashing the screen twords the group showing off the bright blue logo. The lump in your throat grew as you faded out once more. Like you were no longer in the room but just a spirit watching over everyone. Not again please. Only able to observe as Vil stumbled backwards and Deuce and Kalim scrambled next to him to stop his grief and shock filled form from hitting the ground.

"...n-no..."

"Whoa! Vil, hold it together!"

Kalim exclaimed while grabbing onto Vil's left forearm and attempting to grab his shoulder as well but was only able to grab his upper arm due to the height difference between the pair. Meanwhile Deuce stood to his right wrapping his left hand around his back whilst holding onto Vil's other forearm with his right.

"Steady, sir! Here, hold onto my shoulder. "

Ace and epel were the loudest of the bunch whilst Jamil stood completely silent. You could practically feel Ace's outrage as he tried to refrain himself from going ham on Rook.

"Are you nuts, Rook?! Why did you vote for Royal Sword Academy?!"

Epel's County accent slipped through as he was far to blinded by his emotions to even attempt to hide it and Vil was to busy being shook to his core to scold him for it.

"I don't believe you! Why'd ya do somethin' so boneheaded?!"

Rook merely sighed and shook his head sorrowfully as if this wasn't his fault. Continuing to blabber on like usual although this time instead of being joyfull or filled with admiration his voice was laced with sorrow.

"I told you: I simply couldn't lie to myself. Neige's group believed in themselves and each other when they danced and sang."

His voice and facial expressions turned away struck as he recounted Neige's preformance, almost like his sorrow was immediately stripped away. Almost like it Hadn't been there in the first place.

"When I saw them up there, they struck me as powerful...and as the fairest of all in that exact moment."

"This is just... I can't..."

It felt like Vil was about to faint, and to be honest she wouldn't have blamed him if she did. It felt like someone was squeezing her heart Why...why did he vote for them...didn't they do enough? He had trained and fought along side them. So why now did he feel the need to suddenly swap sides.

"Vil. Nobody should believe in your beauty more than you yourself."

Bullshit

"It is most becoming, the way you maintain such rigid self restraint while polishing yourself to triumph over your rival."

Liar

But as long as you lack conviction...

Why are you even here, just leave

No amount of validation from the rest of the world will ever leave you fulfilled.

Shut up

Even if you wind up old, emaciated, grimy, and stooped over...If you were to truly believe that you are the fairest of all despite that, even the Magic Mirror of legend wouldn't contest your claim.

That isn't how the world works

The strength and pride to believe in yourself is what marks the true fairest one of all

Roi du Poison. Fair Vil. I implore you to believe in yourself more than anyone else. Beauty is always with you. At this exact moment, you are the fairest one of all.

You don't believe that

You wanted to tape his mouth shut. Why couldn't he just shut up? It made your skin crawl. Just shut up! If you weren't still on stage you would reach over and slap him. How dare he! How dare he be so supportive and upbeat only to cave in the end! How dare he give you hope only to crush it! How dare he betray his team!

....Why wouldn't he be quite...Please...please be quite...

You vision was staring to become blurry ans a headache soon followed. No one even noticed you as you left. they never did.... I mean after all

You were just the manager.

That's all you ever were to them, right? Always just some side character watching from the sidelines as everyone around you got what they needed or found closure...That's what you had always been. The disposable tool that people can pick up when they needed and abandoned when they wished. You were never important...not enough for them to stick around. Why weren't you enough? You did what they asked, you followed every rule, every social guild line, never complained, never spoke out...but then why did they always leave? Where you just not enough? You tried, you really did.

The voices of RSA and NRC all blurred together to create one mush of noises that would overload anyone's senses as you pushed through the crowd. Trying to get away, just wanting to be alone. Blinking away what you already knew were tears. Hoping you were quick enough to get to a secluded spot before you broke down. Slidding past all the crowds and in between the stalls to the only area you knew no one would be at, the forest behind NRC that was barely considered School property

Continuing on into the forest, going deeper and deeper as the hustle and bustle of the still ongoing festival vanished. Your legs were aching from all the walking but you pressed onward, even as it began to sprinkle. Hot angry tears pouring down your face making it slightly red and puffy. You hadn't even realized the sun was slowly beginning to set, the usually blue sky fading into a ombre of pinks, oranges, and yellows. What usually would have been beautiful now felt dull.

Your body suddenly stumbled forward, reaching out you hands to try and soften your fall, tumbling down a small hill you hissed in pain, body aching and palms burning as you slowly attempted to sit up. Groaning as you stood up, looking around, a sharp pain sent through your ankle causing you to hiss in pain and lean forward.

"Yeah there is no way I'm moving any further."

Reluctantly walking over to a nearby tree, wincing with each step.

"Ow."

The bruises and scraped from the scuffle with vil that had previously been soothed were now irritated once more from the small tumble. Groaning like a old man as you sat down, leaning against the tree for support, your head pounding from all the crying you had been doing for the past who knows how long. Resting your eyes for a moment when you felt a small droplet hit the top of you head, and then another on your arm, and another and another and one more. You laughed bitterly as you realized what was to happen in the next few hours.

"It's raining...it's really raining... and I'm stuck here. Just fucking great."

There was no moment of peace, there was no good luck, there was no break. Not for you at least. And there was no savior here to wisk you away to the warmth of your drab home. After all no one had even noticed you were gone dispight being absent for hours ans the sky now darkening.

There was no Prince Charming, and there never will be.

[pruneunfair]

"My feelings on" part 10: Baby tyrant and how it is the queen of fantasy fufilment.

Hey there, it's been a while since I last did a my feelings on review, today I bring you baby tyrant

Baby tyrant is yet again an isekai story about an abused girl from Korea being pushed off a ledge by her own dad and sent to another dimension as the princess and later empress of the Ermeanu empire. Mabel Gardenia or if we want to get real specific: Mabel Gardenia winter Ermeanu as another one of her last names.

Surpringsly, this wasn't as terrible as I was expecting. Don't get me wrong, it still is pretty mediocre at best and bad at worst and that's not even getting to the.. creepier subjects inolved when it comes to characters and plot armour but it still mostly works because I don't really take it all that seriously. It's clearly meant to be more of a comedy rather than something serious cause one minute they'll be discussions of a potential apocalypse and then next minute it's something wholesome like an outing or Mabel reaching another childhood feat.

Mabel is also surprisingly not so bad either. What makes up for her obivious Mary sue traits is her complete self awareness that everyone around her is absolutely insane. She is fully aware of the fact that her dad, Estevan, clearly favors her to an excessive degree (if you saw my roasting of Estevan post, you'll know why) she questions how the empire has not already fallen to Devlin if they are way too concerned about getting their hands on her old belongings at an auction and she even realizes that her older brother, Oscar, is a neglected child put under way too much pressure for a six year old.

However, there are many problems that I wouldn't just call bad but full on creepy..

Mabel, despite being known as a baby, is still a 20 year old woman in a babies body. They mention this quite a bit in the earlier chapters and it plays into Mabels personality of being mature and cynical for someone her age but then she just.. randomly starts thinking like a baby? For example, when Estevan forbids boys ages 5-15 from entering the palace, Mabel thinks that this includes her brother which is of course not the case. She starts thinking of Estevan as "Daddy" and overall starts to regress mentally despite the fact that we are still supposed to believe she's mentally 20?

And then there are the love interests. We got the likely male lead based on novel art I've seen: The dark and misunderstood Aidan, and the blonde second ML who appreciates Mabel for being there for him: Enrique.

I don't like either of these relationships and let me tell you why. It's creepy both ways because these boys are around 6-8 years old and Mabel is of course, a baby. To give you an idea, in a later chapters when she is 9, Aidan already looks to be a teenager.

So on one side, we got massive age gaps when the characters meet which only gives off weird grooming implications and on the other side, you got the disturbing realization that Mabel is mentally 20 years old and a bunch of young boys are paired up as her love interests...

So yeah, creepy on both sides.

The overpowered baby

So besides the obvious creepy factor: What makes Baby tyrant only good for a comedy you shouldn't take to seriously?

Well, because I'm pretty sure Mabel is the baby Jesus of this world.

She can speak to animals

She can command the weather

She can HEAL people

She absorbs a rock that makes her even more powerful, she has a guardian deity which is like a yellow cat-like Pokémon thing? Owns multiple kingdoms and territories her dad gave to her as gifts, considered a holy figure in a neighboring holy empire called Abelardo and established some hidden alliance with the pope/emperor of that empire. She's literally destined to stop the god damn world from ending and I think I made my my point when I say that Mabel has the most things falling her way.

Hell, everyone save for antagonists also love her, even her brothers mom who is described as strict and expects a lot from her son.

Damn 😭 even Oscar's mom likes his sister more than him.

To be fair this could be because Mabel isn't Pycificas daughter so she has no right to boss her around but STILL! Maybe it's different in the novel too but I'm just going by what I got from the manhwa.

So yeah, this story easily is the queen of all fantasy fufilment.

Keep in mind I'm not saying it's bad to indulge in fantasy fufilment, I just don't think I'll ever see it as something I'm supposed to treat as a serious story.

Conclusion: Baby tyrant has a lot of potential. Instead of Mabel having the mind of an adult, have it kinda like Stewie Griffin. She can be a smart but grumpy baby who thinks of everyone else as an idiot while still having moments of childish innocence since she's still a baby after all which will explain why she starts thinking of Estevan as "Daddy" without being too weird and explain her lack of critical thinking.

keep it less creepy by just.. not making Aidan and Enrique love interests and instead let them be more of new big brother types.

And these are just if you plan on keeping Baby tyrant as a comedy.

[mammalsofaction]

I'm Feelin' Super

Rated: T

Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus, Tony Stark & Peter Parker, Tony Stark & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Clint Barton, Phineas Flynn & Ferb Fletcher & Candace Flynn

Add Tags: Human Perry, The Spy trio dynamics, The Flynn Fletcher sublings being siblings, vague compliance to CA: CW, vague compliance to Phineas and Ferb: MM

Summary:

"More spies. Great." Tony drawls. He casts Natasha a sideways glance. "Is that going to be a problem?" Natasha tilts her head to Clint, lounging next to Sam and Thor on the couch. "We have it handled." "They're fairly co-operative so far, but we're keeping the whos-and-whys on a need to know basis for now." Fury says. "They won't pretend to be happy for long." "We don't plan to draw it out." Tony drawls, collapsing the holo-files into his phone. "FRIDAY, what time is it in Danville?"  AKA; A Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel re-write

LINK TO AO3

Prologue below; first chapter is out :)

There is an attack in Brooklyn. It is the second time this month. 

"This is gonna wreck havoc on our insurance plan." Peter mutters, catching the corner on the 5-story from a downward spring. He crouches, surveying the area as the noise of the screaming crowd—punctuated by Red Skull's laughter—begins to fill the air in earnest. Above them, thunder booms; a glorious dissonance punctuates the ambiance of the battle, and the sky smells like ozone.  

Always a good sign to have the Thunder God around, even if it meant he had to swing a little lower the whole time to keep from catching strays.

"Let's keep that lightning and ominous wind on the minimum, Point Break," Iron Man drawls on their connected comms, and Spidey grins as he creeps closer. "I'm flying in a metal suit, over here."

"How are we on parameters?" Thor asked in response.

"We need to give Hill and Rhodes just up to 5 minutes to clear the area, the little guys know what's what."

"Speaking of little guys...," Peter drawls, and he doesn't miss the bark of laughter crackling through the channel. From above, he sees Whiplash creeping far too closely on Tony's unprotected back, which is good enough of a cue as any. He drops a web-bomb right on the face, and kicks the man a good distance away. Vanko screams the whole time; a more wholesome noise to punctuate their current whirlwind of chaos.

Iron Man huffs. "Glad you could make it, kid. Wasn’t getting any younger over here,"

He had only waited, on Tony's own orders, for school to let out, since the call-out had been just within the last 10 minutes of his final period. Peter rolls his eyes from behind the mask, as obnoxiously as possible. "It's called being fashionably late."

"Oh, trust me. I'd know all about that. You weren't missing out."

In the distance, Hulk roars, cutting off the chatter as they re-focus on the battle at hand; the big man throws Venom into the distance, tied like a pretzel, and Thor gets a face full of lashes coated in a band of electrical shock; for all the good that does. He hammers Whiplash into another corner.

Peter mimes a hard flinch. "My guy is not on his A-game here."

"Yeah? You think he's catching a cold?" Iron Man muses. "I wonder if there's some sort of union we can report to about medical leave."

"Truck on your twelve, boys!" Hill barks into their comms, and it's only for the sake of his Spider-tingle that Peter ducks out the way of the first blast; stemming from a black canon perched on the back of a tank. From the helm, Red Skull cackles, and MODOK jumps back into the fray with a miniature version of the very same weapon. Tony goes up, his repulsors aimed straight for the vehicle; but with the tank partially hidden behind the tracks of the subway, there was only so much he could do without compromising the present infrastructure.

"Fri, baby, give me a scan."

"Anti-matter shots, boss, I recommend the team to watch the strikes."

"What the hell?" Peter mumbles, going on the defensive, trying to keep MODOK from damaging too much of the surrounding buildings. "What is it that they even want this time?"

"Let's back off, fellas, these things pack a big punch!"

Red Skull, focused on re-aiming the beast of the muzzle upwards-aiming for the subway tracks-fails to account for the large hulking figure that clamps onto the back of the tank. He yelps, flung from the vehicle itself.

Iron Man whistles. Thor laughs, catching the 70-pound tank like a missive baseball.

"Great work, my large green friend!"

"Hulk pack bigger punch!"

"Let's wrap this up, Spider-Man!" Rhodey demands.

"What do you think I've been doing?" Peter complained exasperatedly, but he turned on the offense, jumping closer to MODOK—growing desperate and unhinged in his attempts to corral him—and managed to web the weapon a safe distance away. Peter webs his hands up too, moving closer, which had decidedly been the wrong move.

"You fool!" The villain crows. "You fail to account for my mind."

"Whoops," Said Peter, feeling himself being lifted via the promised telekinesis, bracing himself for being thrown. It never comes. Hulk, once again, comes to the rescue; knocking into the distracted villain and right into the base of the subway pillars. He falls on the ground as Iron Man hovers close to the wobbling monument, repulsors aimed and loaded.

"Game over, boys," Tony proclaims. "Let's call the quinjet over to take the trash out, Hill, we can get started on the-,"

Clean-up, is what Peter was sure he was about to say, but Tony had a bit of a talent when it came to speaking too soon. It was the sun, he thought, peeking out of the sky; perhaps the clouds Thor brought with him had been clearing? It felt almost exactly like a beam of light; getting toasted on the beach just a little too closely, and it happened so fast.

One moment Tony was up in the air, and the next he was falling, falling, and Peter jumped to his feet, launching himself off the ground with his super strength to pad the fall, but he only stumbled, he fell, choking on dusty air and debris that hadn't bothered him in a year...

"TONY!" Rhodey yells into the comms, but he was nowhere near the battle enough to be of use.

Iron Man knocks against the ledge of the subway tracks, the roof of a nearby semi, and finally onto the road with a sickening crunch of gravel. Peter, screams, he thinks, and his voice doesn't echo through the comms, for reasons he will find only later that they had been strangely deactivated, keeping them from FRIDAY's fail-safes. He can't be sure what happens next, but by the time the authorities arrive; the NYPD and the ambulances and the firemen and the truckloads of SHIELD operatives, MODOK was gone, and so was the gun he had been toting.

None of the villains could be found, and Peter couldn't breathe.

Something was wrong.

[openthefobwatch]

I went to see mincemeat yesterday, because I had to see the love of my life, Emily!Monty, one last time (paid full price as well, being gay is so expensive), so here are some thoughts/tiny little details I noticed because if it's my last trip I have to be obsessive about it:

-When Reggie interrupts Monty during god, that's brilliant, he makes a sort of 🙄 face to Charlie, like he's known this man all of (6 years and) 5 minutes and he's already acting like they're best friends. (Well, Charles is certainly *his* best friend...) It's very sweet.

-The fact that he knew Charlie was connected to the air force despite, again, 5 minutes. Did he just see a hot guy and immediately find out everything he could about him?? And still get it wrong lol

-This is not news but my god, Monty is sooo fucking touchy (in both senses of the word ig but I mean physically) like he's constantly got his arm around Charles's shoulder, which isn't easy considering the height difference between him and (especially George's) Charlie but the man is determined. For 'father's never been prouder' he practically leaps into his arms. Like do you two wanna be alone??

-When Bevan walks in after the film script thing and Charlie jumps, Monty gives him a little pat on the shoulder, which is cute, like even when they're arguing he's still caring towards him.

-The 'and I'm sorry about the father thing... bit weird☹' line didn't get a huge number of laughs yesterday, which is an absolute crime imo because it's probably my favourite line in the play. I love how bashful he is, how it's like a rare moment of clarity and he recognises how bizarre the whole thing is but goes right back to it afterwards. Comedy gold. But then the scene moves on quickly so there's not much time for laughter ig.

-Okay, onto something that isn't Monty. This was my first time seeing George as Charlie, and it was interesting seeing a softer, more reserved version of the character. Crazy how the same lines can sound so different depending on who's saying them. I didn't properly appreciate just how batshit unhinged Seán's interpretation was until I saw this one. Monty (here we go again) seems more protective/encouraging towards this Charlie whereas with Seán there's more of a (vry homoerotic) clash of wills.

-Chloe is the only actor who's been in every single show I've seen, and I have to say she's one of (if not the) strongest in the cast. Every single character is played to perfection, every single joke lands.

-Anyway ik we knew this already but Emily's singing voice is soo beautiful and it kills me that there's no recording of her gahh I could listen to her all day. Oh well I suppose we'll always have the west end live 2024 video.

Can't think of anything else to say so I'll leave it there. Will probably take a bit of a step back from OM now but I think it's one of the most wholesome, most beautiful and most inspiring things I've ever been obsessed with, so I'm very grateful to have found it.