#THE HEEHE HAHAHAS

[joffyworld]

THE SILLIEEEEEESSSSSSS

Some cute narilamb✨

[dia-souls]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Imajin Tokuten Drama CD “Kawaii Plushie, Fanboys' Confusion!!!”

Original title: かわいいぬいぐるみ、ファンボーイの混乱

Source: Fanmade Tokuten Drama CD

Story by: Admin Afra

Seiyuu: Suegara rie, Midorikawa Hikaru, Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Takashi Kondou, Tomoaki Maeno, Hirakawa Daisuke, Kaji Yuki,

Admin's note: Hey guys Finally, after a long time, a new drama CD by me Admin Afra. Who misses me??? Lol... Although I can't write comedy CDs and scenarios as well as Admin Irsa. But recently, my headcanon for plushie Yui has been very much noticed. That's why I decided to try this CD for this headcanon. If you like it, I will write Mukami and Tsukinami versions soon. This Sakamaki version is presented to you. I hope you like it. Don't forget to review and comment.

_This scene begins in the living room of the Sakamaki mansion. The triplets are watching Kou on a TV show.

Ayato: Why is that stupid idol in all the shows? I'm getting bored.

_Ayato changes the channel.

*Tap Tap*

Kanato: Ayato... can you please choose a channel and let us all watch it?

Ayato: Shut up!!!! Do not order Ore-sama. Ore-sama will watch whatever he likes. I don't want to see the face of that stupid idol on all channels.

_Ayato changes the channel again.

*Tap Tap*

Laito: You are right, Ayato-kun. I am much prettier. If I were an idol, I would have more fans than him. They probably showed me on more channels.

Ayato: If I saw you on TV, then I would blow up the TV.

Kanato: Me too...

Laito: Heeh... don't be so cruel. I'm sure more girls would be my fans.

_Ayato turns off the TV.

Ayato: I don't understand why there are so many channels and TV shows for girls. Why don't they make a TV show for boys? For example, the takoyaki eating contest.

Kanato: Ayato, no boy wants to watch such a show. Only you like it.

Laito: Hmmmmm. I don't like to see some boys with big mouths eating takoyaki. Even thinking about it makes me sick. I prefer to see cute and beautiful girls.

Kanato: There are idol girls too, Laito.

Laito: I know, but none of them can make my heart beat fast like Bitch-chan.

_Ayato swears under his breath.

Ayato: Chhh... Stupid pervert...

_Laito takes the TV remote from Ayato's side and turns the TV back on.

*Tap Tap*

_Laito changes several channels to a plushie advertisement.

Laito: Is that plushie... bitch-chan's plushie???

_Both Ayato and Kanato stare at the TV after hearing this. The TV is promoting the popular school club girl named Komori Yui.

Ayato: What the hell. Chichinashi???? Since when has Chichinashi been famous?

Laito: School club??? Ahhh, now I remember. A few months ago, bitch-chan said she wanted to join a school club. Hmmm, apparently, she is very popular among the boys in the club.

Kanato: IT'S UNFORGIVABLE. How dare that girl participate in the club without my permission? *SOB*.... I.... won't forgive her... *SOB*...

Ayato: That idiot... how dare she go out with other boys without Ore-sama's permission? When I see her, I will punish her.

Laito: Hmmmmm... I'm very sad to see that my dear bitch-chan has become popular with all these boys. She just needs to pay attention to me.

Shu: Pwaahhhhhhh.... can you shut up. Didn't you say just a few seconds ago that you want a TV show for boys? So why are you complaining now?

_Ayato, Kanato, and Laito flinched at Shu's voice.

Ayato: Waaahhhhh... Shu what the hell. What the hell are you doing here? When did you come here?

_Shu was lying on the couch and yawned.

*Rustle Rustle*

Shu: I was here from the beginning. You three idiots did not notice my presence.

Ayato: Shut up. You are always like this. Wherever you go, you sleep without talking to anyone. Obviously, no one will notice your presence.

Shu: Shut up... it's too loud. My ear hurt.

Ayato: Bastard...

_Shu opened one of his eyes and looked at the TV advertisement that was playing.

Shu: Hmmm... interesting... maybe I'll buy one for myself.

Ayato: Hahaha... don't tell me you like this ugly doll.

Shu: What's the problem with it? I can use it as a pillow. This way, when she is not with me, I can have her by my side.

Ayato: ...

Laito: ....

Kanato: ... I can't believe that this lazy man came up with such a good idea.

Laito: Nfu... that's a good idea. I would really like to have another version of Yui-chan too. In this way, I can do whatever I want with it.

Kanato: Fufu... Yes, Teddy will also be happy to have a new friend. Ne teddy I can dress up it like dolls to make it the most beautiful doll in the world.

Ayato: Tch... you two are very childish.

Laito: Come on Ayato. Wouldn't you like to have a small version of Bitch-Chan? Whenever Yui-chan is not with you, she can make takoyaki for you.

Ayato: Huh??? Can it really do that?

Shu: You are so stupid.

Ayato: Shut up. I have to try it myself, otherwise I don't believe it.

Laito: Nfu~ So let's go to that store and buy this cute plushie.

*TIMESKIP*

_Ayato, Laito and Kanato are walking in the store.

Ayato: Shit... why is it so crowded here?

Kanato: I can't stand people's noise. It's so noisy.

Laito: You two are very impatient. Nfu~ Be patient and then we'll go home with that cute plushie.

???: Oh my... KarlHeinz's sons are in the fanboy store. Hahaha... what a funny subject.

*click click*

_The triplets look behind them when they hear a familiar voice.

Ayato: Haaaaa..... Kino!!!! what are you doing here?

Kino: Isn't it obvious? I came looking for my dear princess. She is not with you?

Ayato: Who said she's yours? She is only my prey. Chichinashi is not with us.

Kino: Huh? what a pity I wanted to go like a lovely couple and buy that cute plushie.

Kanato: Did you come here for the plushie?

Kino: Of course. She is my lovely princess and I am her prince.

Ayato: Don't talk nonsense.

Kino: I myself encouraged her to participate in this club. They were looking for cute and beautiful girls to support animals. My dear princess was so cute and tried for animals that she quickly became popular among the boys. I'm thinking that my princess should have become a famous idol instead that Mukami.

Laito: Although I don't like you, I agree with you. But I don't want to share my beloved Bitch-chan with other boys.

Kino: In any case, this promotion is for promoting this club and because of Yui's new popularity. In addition to boys, she has become very popular among girls.

_A person with a black cape, hat, mask and glasses that completely covers his face enters the store.

Ayato: Hah... Thief...

Laito: Nfu~ He isn't a thief. He is only a shy fanboy who doesn’t like to be known at all.

Kino: Scary. Some fans are very scary.

_The suspicious man buys a plushie and quickly leaves the store.

Kanato: Heyyyyyyyy. I want to leave this store faster.

Kino: I also don't like to see other boys buy my dear princess plushie.

_Ayato goes in front of Kino and grabs his collar tightly in his fist.

*Rustle Rustle*

Ayato: Listen, bastard. I will not let you buy that plushie at all. Chichinashi is only my prey.

Kino: Fufu Ayato-kun, if you think like that... you should stop all those boys who are standing in front of the cash register buying plushies.

_Kino points to the counter and Ayato turns his head to look there. A group of boys lined up in front of the cash register to buy plushies.

Ayato: Chhh... you bastards...

_Ayato quickly releases Kino's collar and goes to stand in front of the cash register in front of all the boys.

Ayato: Everyone listen.

_Ayato takes the speaker from the vendor and speaks through it.

Ayato: Ore-sama is speaking. Get out of the store, you bastards. This girl is my prey and no one but me has the right to buy this plushie.

_All the boys and vendors stare at Ayato.

Ayato: Did you hear what I said? Ore-sama will give you orders. Hurry up and get out of the store

Kanato: Is he serious?

Laito: Oh, oh. I think we are going to be in trouble.

Kino: Pffff.... Hahahahaha.... Your brother is so stupid.

Kanato: Laito. Let's buy the plushie and go before it causes us trouble.

_Laito and Kanato go to the group of boys so that the seller won't notice that they are with Ayato.

Ayato: Oi, Kanato, Laito, why did you go to them? Let's help me get rid of these bastards.

Kino: Hmmmm. Things are getting interesting.

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Chhh... Ahhhhh... How is the security of that store so strong? The place where he kicked me still hurts.

Kanato: You are so stupid, Ayato.

Ayato: Shut up. It's your fault that you didn't help me, otherwise we would have kicked out all those bastards.

Laito: Shame on you, Ayato-kun... I don't like being beaten by security at all. My beautiful face becomes scarred and I become ugly.

Ayato: You are so pathetic Laito...

_Kino walks behind them while laughing under his breath.

Ayato: You bastard... why are you laughing at us? You got what you wanted. Why are you following us?

Kino: Oh... Ayato-kun don't be so mean. I would like to see my dear princess.

Ayato: Shut up. I won't let you see her.

Laito: At least we could all buy plushies.

Kino: Too bad. I wanted to see my dear princess. But I think it doesn't matter. I will call her when I get home. I can't wait to take a picture of myself and this plushie and send it to her. Her reaction must be very cute... Fufu... Goodbye. I hope to see you very soon.

_Kino moves away from the triplets while waving his hand.

Ayato: Haha... in hell...

*TIMESKIP*

_Ayato, Kanato and Laito enter the mansion.

Ayato: Chhch... My body hurts.

Shu: Pwaahh... So you are finally back.

_Shu is lying on the couch while yawning and Yui's plushie is on the pillow next to his head.

Laito: ....

Kanato: ...

Ayato: ...... How???? Oi lazy man, how did you get that plushie without coming to the store?

Shu: Huh? It's... so easy. I ordered online.

Ayato: ....

Kanato: Haaaaaaa???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE COULD ORDER IT INSTEAD OF GOING TO THAT ANNOYING STORE, SHU WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? I WON'T FORGIVE YOU. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU...

Shu: I was surprised why the three of you took so much trouble to go to that store. Well, this is not my problem. Now please be quiet. I want to sleep You are very noisy.

Ayato: You bastard...

Laito: Nfu~ I can't wait anymore. I want to do many things with this plushie. Ahhh, even thinking about it makes me hot.

Kanato: I would like to try different clothes on her. My new and beautiful doll is going to be very beautiful.

Ayato: Both of you shut up. This is going to be very interesting. Ahemm... Ahemm... Chichinashi, go make me some takoyaki.

_Laito and Kanato stare at Ayato and Shu smirks.

Kanato: ...

Laito: ....

Shu: Pffffff... you are so stupid.

Ayato: What?

Laito: Did you really expect a plushie to be able to move and make takoyaki for you?

Ayato: Huh? It can't? So why did we try so hard to buy it?

Shu: I am satisfied. It smells like that woman. It is a good pillow. At least when Yui is not here, this plushie will help me.

Kanato: You don't understand how precious dolls are.

Laito: I can also try interesting fantasies on it.

_Yui rushes into the room.

Yui: Ayato-kun, Reiji-san is very angry with you. He said that you in the store___

_The triplets stare at Yui.

Yui: What the..... !!!!!

Ayato: Oi Chichinashi. This ridiculous doll can't make takoyaki for me. Hurry up, make me takoyaki.

Yui: ...

_Meanwhile in Subaru's room.

Subaru: Hah... hah... I did it. I really i did it.

_Subaru enters his room while wearing a black coat, glasses and a mask and quickly goes to his coffin and puts Yui plushie in it and looks at it.

Subaru: I did it...

_Subaru blushes while staring at Yui plushie.

Subaru: Damn it... this is so cute...

_Subaru hugs Plushie and sleeps inside the coffin.

Subaru: Yui, please always stay with me...

_Meanwhile in Reiji's room. Reiji is sitting on a chair and brushing the plushie hair that was pre-ordered a few days ago.

Reiji: Good grief... these things are not for me.

_Reiji covered his face with his hand to hide his embarrassment.

Reiji: No one should know about this. NO ONE.

[giggly-squiggily]

Woke up in the middle of the night, and was like,' this is perfect!' Todoroki x reader. Sentence starters 'what was that?', 'What do you mean?',and 'not there!'. If you can't do all three it's fine. Hope you can do it. Luv you friend!😊

{Puffs are now CLOSED!}

Friend! :D Those midnight thoughts are always the ones that get us! I love it :3 Todoroki is a precious baby- especially when he gets tickled! I've gotcha covered, friend! (Luv you too!)

“Heeh!”

“What was that?” You sat up, brows raised at the soft sound your boyfriend made.

“What do you mean? I didn’t make any sounds.” Todoroki averted his gaze, a blush raising up his collar the longer you stared at him. “Come back down- it’s too cold without you.”

“Says Mr. IcyHot- no, you totally giggled!” You pressed your hands into his belly once more, feeling him twitch. “Are you ticklish?”

“...Maybe?” He finally caught your eye, blushing near scarlet at your growing grin. “(Y/N)...”

“I’ve gotcha now!” You cried in glee, drilling your fingers into his belly and watching him full body spasm. “Tickle tickle tickle, Shoto~”

“Gehahahhahaha! Ehehahaha! Nohohoohoho pleahhahase! (Y/N)-Aheahhahaha!” Todoroki was halfway lost in the sheets, hands grabbing at your wrists as he twisted and turned beneath you. “Nohohoho nhoohoht thehehehre!”

“Not here? Why, does it tickle that bad?” You teased, shoving your hands up his sweater to really get him. “Huh- one side of you is really warm while the other is cold! That’s so cool!”

“Nohohoho, it reahhahally ihiihsn’t-Ehehehehek dohohohon’t!” He squealed when you pinched along his ribs, nearly flying out of the bed. “Yoohohhour hahahands are coohohohld!”

“You can feel it even over here?” You pressed into the colder side of his body, laughing when he squeaked. “Wow! I’m learning so much about your quirk everyday!”

“Glahahhad to heahehahhar I’m soohohoho inteheehheresting! Nohoohow stahhahap tihihihickling mehehehehe!” He tapped out against your leg, making you finally stop. Gasping for air, Todoroki loosely brought his arms around himself, blinking away tears of mirth. “Geheha..hahaha..thahhank you.”

“Hehe, you’re welcome!” You leaned down, kissing his cheek before getting comfortable once more. “I’m gonna tickle you way more often now, you know that right?”

“Sure- say, since we’re talking about it.” He nudged you until you were looking in his eyes. “Are you ticklish?”

Your face grew hot, your smile freezing some. Todoroki smiled. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry?”

“Yes.” He gathered you up in his arms, tickling as he twisted. You squealed with laughter as your positions were reversed, unable to fight off his vengeful fingers.

So be it; you couldn’t deny how happy it made you.

[cortexrules]

Master!! Next time we fight Crash Bandicoot you..! You could call heem TRASH Bandicoot..!! For your.. Heeh.. Deleecious banter part..!

Trash Bandicoot, you say? Hmm... Simple yet impactful. Maybe just a tad too crude but...

Wait now! What if I were to challenge that fur-for-brains to a battle inside the disposal room? I could hand out my devastating kiss off right before sending him on a one-way trip down the chute to the trash compactor! Hahaha!

I'm thinking something along the lines of "At last, Trash Bandicoot! The time has come for you to pass to the odor side!" and so on.

How's that?

[tetherfans]

Heehe ahahaha heeheh hahahaha

Don't ask me why I drew this. Heueheh hahaha :]

have fanny and pillow.

WARNING FOR BLOOD AND A KNIFE HEEUEH HAHAHA.

I'd like to think this ship would be "conditioned dreams"

Cuz y'know a pillow. And fanny. Which is a fan. Y'know air conditioning. Does that even count. Meh who cares - I don't!!

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - The Die Has Been Cast 4

(Location: “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” program set)

(A few days later. “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” recording day)

Tsumugi: So this is the set for “Battle on the Sugoroku Board?”~ It’s a wonderful set, isn’t it. It’s a real spectacle!

Don’t you think so, Natsume-kun?

Natsume: ………

Tsumugi: Huh, what’s wrong Natsume-kun? O~i?

Natsume: I can’t even begin to express my disgUST.

I told you the other day, you should rest at Starmony DoRMS. Didn’t you hear what I saID?

I mean. Why is Senpai wearing the “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” costUME?

You’re not planning on making an appearance, are yOU……?

Tsumugi: Ahaha. It looked like they had spare costumes, so I picked it up out of habit……

Don’t worry. I won’t be on the show.

Today’s my day off, so I thought I’d come see “Battle on the Sugoroku Board”♪

Seeing everyone working hard also filled me with energy.

Natsume: ………

Ibara: Well well, isn’t this wonderful, Natsume-kun!

Even if workaholics are ordered to stay at home, they’ll end up doing paperwork that can be done from home. So it may be less of a burden to just relax outside.

I’m in the same category so, yes, I understand.

Tsumugi: That’s right, isn’t it~♪ You understand!

Arashi: They’re fellow workaholics, huh.

Natsume: They’ll both work themselves to deATH.

Tsumugi: Please stop saying stuff like that~

I think I have a good balance, don’t I? I just have a bigger workload than other people, but I still have a good work-life balance.

I just came here today as a fan to watch everyone compete in “Battle on the Sugoroku Board,” so don’t worry.

Natsume: I can’t not worRY.

HoweVER, actually being here made me realize, this place is very spacioUS—

There are quite a few participants besides NewDi and CosPro. At first glance, it looks like ten or so agencies are participating.

Arashi: It was limited to three people per agency— I think. Now that I think about it, it looks like a whole class of idols have gathered together.

Ibara: Indeed. It’s very difficult to survive in this situation.

If it’s a performance contest for idols, then the ES agencies have an advantage. But if it’s a variety show showdown, any team may have a chance of winning.

We too must take heed.

Otherwise, you’ll be subject to the punishment game that’ll be announced soon.

Madara: That won’t matter if we win the war, Ibara-san.

It looks like some other CosPro guys are arguing with each other over there, but is it fine to just leave things be? Things seem to be going downhill before the game even starts.

Ibara: What……? Ah, yes that’s fine. It seems to be business as usual, so…

Yuuta: Get away, don’t get familiar with me!

Rinne: Gyahaha♪ Don’t be so grumpy♪

Hina wasn’t able to come, so let’s get along well♪ C’mon, Yuta!

Yuuta: Uwah, don’t come closer! You’re gonna infect me, you gambler……!

Vice prez, please do something about this guy!

Ibara: Fufu. It was a great misfortune, wasn’t it. I didn’t expect that a healthy child like Hinata-kun would be absent due to a sudden cold.

Yuuta: It really is troublesome…… In the past it was the same when I caught a cold, and that was a pain. But I didn’t think it would cause problems in such a place……

And then, I never thought I’d be teamed up with Rinne-senpai! If he comes within a 5 meter radius, I’ll kick him!

Rinne: Nice, a rebellious streak! You can’t stand me but can’t help but love me☆

Yuuta: That’s why I’m telling you to stay away……!

Madara: Hahaha. It’s great that you’re such good friendsss♪

…… Oh– while I was rambling on, it looks like the staff finished preparing.

The production director is on stage, but what’ll happen next?

Natsume: It looks like we’re going to go over the rules again and explain the punishment gaME.

The punishment game is “extremely bitter healthy mixed juiCE?”

Tsumugi: Heeh. It’s a drink made from the juice of nutritious vegetables like nalta jute and bitter gourd?

It tastes bitter but can be healthy……. Huh? May I try some?

Natsume: Are you seriOUS?

Tsumugi: Yes. Natsume-kun also said so, right? It’s bad if all I do is work.

It might be a good idea to pay attention to my health and try a drink like this once in a while♪

Gulp, gulp…… Fuahh♪

Yep, it tastes healthy and delicious!

Natsume: “DeliciOUS?” That doesn’t seem like a punishment gAME……

Ibara: Hmm. That’s strange, I didn’t plan on that.

Tsumugi: Ahaha. Isn’t that the kind of TV-like reaction people are looking for?

You see, a typical hot water bath doesn’t actually have really boiling water in it, it just has slightly warmer water—

If you’re interested, you might want to try drinking a bit. How is it?

Natsume: This stenCH…… ACK, COUGH!

That feeling of discomfort from getting in its vicinity…… It’s terrifyING. Wouldn’t it be better to have someone who looks unhealthy drink IT……!?

Ibara: In that case, I believe Rinne Amagi-shi is the right person!

Rinne: Why me!?

Ibara: Now, now, you want to have a good role on the show, don’t you? Then maybe Crazy:B could have its own show! Come on, drink up!

Rinne: Wait– gimme gimme! Ugh, it tastes disgusting……!

Tsumugi: What? I thought it was really delicious……!

Natsume: I didn’t expect Senpai’s insensitivity to reach this leVEL.

Arashi: Mama. Avoid the punishment game at all costs.

Madara: Yeah. No matter how many variety shows you can appear on, it’s not worth it.

Yuuta: I don’t want to drink something that suspicious either……

Ibara: Fufu, everyone now understands how scary the “extremely bitter healthy mixed juice” is! Thanks to you, it looks like the battle will be desperate!

Now, it’s time for the game to begin.

“Battle on the Sugoroku Board”—ready… START!

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[history-detective]

BlackStar ~Theater Starless translation

Season 1 – Episode 9 (Last Chapter):

Common Chapter 1-3 - When it comes to death.

(Kei, Mizuki, Lico, Kongou, Heath, Ran)

Haseyama: You're all fired. I'll fire you all in a month.

Mizuki: Don't be silly, you old man!

Kei: Kongou, hold him back.

Kongou: Hey, stop it Mizuki. Don't get angry.

Mizuki: Let me go, let go of me! Let me at this piece of sh*t, Kongou!

Lico: Hold him tight, Kongou. I don't want to get hurt.

Lico: If I get hurt, I won't be able to face the girls.

Ran: Uncle, aren't you a bit domineering?

Ran: We're all fired. It's a little too much. Be careful.

Heath: .....Impossible....

Haseyama: No~ hahaha that's too bad. But I can't help it. Sales~.

Haseyama: Running a store is not a volunteer job. You know?

Haseyama: Maintenance costs for facilities and equipment, and above all, labour costs for you thugs.

Haseyama: Expenses are tight, you know? I have to earn money too.

Haseyama: I was told that if I didn't change my business format, I wouldn't be able to do it. [T/N - Earn a profit].

Lico: Even if you say we are changing our business format, we are just turning into a host club.

Haseyama: Hah? Did you say something?

Lico: .....Nope, nothing special.

Haseyama: It's nice to satisfy the customers, but you have to get them to drop what you are dropping. [T/N - The customers need to spend a lot to make up for the costs of running Starless].

Haseyama: Your sale efforts weren't enough. There is no way you can do business like that, kid.

Haseyama: Ah, Kei. I told you it was a trial period.

Haseyama: I waited for 3 months and the result was not satisfactory.

Haseyama: Therefore, we will change the business format of this store. I hope I can earn more money.

Haseyama: Thugs like you guys are in the way. I gave you a month's notice, aren't you thankful?

Kei: .........

Kei: Your management efforts were not enough. You must have some courage to put the blame on me.

Haseyama: Heeh! It's not the same Princely Kei as usual. How expected.

Haseyama: Ah, you see, I have some great backing behind me, so there is nothing scary about you.

Haseyama: But, don't think you will be protected forever. It's not just moonlight nights.

Kei: Hmph. You breath out flames. It's an interesting and not bad move, Haseyama.

Kei: Efforts to shift the balance of power are a good move. Does that mean I won't always be the same as you?

Kei: I'm also getting tired of this situation. Let's have some more exciting fun.

Kei: I'll be with you. Thank you, Haseyama.

Haseyama: What are you talking about Kei? Are you saying that my backing doesn't work?

Kei: You are mistaken.

Kei: It's not like they are behind me. It's the opposite. There are many other options.

Ran: Hey, that's right. Prove it to me, Kei.

Kei: .......Hpfh.

Kei: You're okay. Once in a while, you give an easy-to-understand performance that's not bad either.

Kei: Let me make a phone call.

Lico: Hey Mizuki, what do you think? I wonder if Kei is higher than the owner.

Mizuki: How should I know. Instead, it's time to let me go.

Heath: No, don't let go yet Kongou. Mizuki is full of anger.

Kongou: Understood. Please calm down a bit, Mizuki.

Mizuki: Tsk. Stupid. Sh*t.

Heath: Lico too, calm down.

Lico: ....You;re so noisy.

Lico: You better be careful, Heath. Honestly, girls don't like that kind of thing.

Heath: Preaching. Me? Hmm, does it sound like that to Lico?

**Haseyama's ringtone**

Kei: Haseyama, please answer the call that came to you.

Haseyama: What, you're so bossy.

Haseyama: Hey, who are you?

Haseyama: .....Ha!? .........That was rude. Ha......yes, but....

Ran: Haha, Haseyama is panicking. Kei you were telling the truth.

Kei: I never lie.

Heath: But you don't even tell the truth either.

Lico: That. That is so true.

Haseyama: Haaaaa........

Kei: Were you convinced?

Haseyama: Yes, yes. I understand. I understand. I know you can't do it all.

Haseyama: So then, what are you going to do? I won't let this store go.

Kei: That's probably right. If you let it go, the matter would have been settled.

Kei: Since the reopening, Starless has also seen some movement.

Kei: I allowed Team B to be born. Haseyama, I also went along with your instigation.

Mizuki: Hey! Come at me!

Haseyama: That's right, with such a thug. I'm sorry.

Kei: But that's not enough. It's time to develop a new taste.

Kei: Rejoice Haseyama. I'll entertain you. I'll join your fun.

Kei: If you want to cut your head off, cut it off. There is one condition to do that.

Kei: Let me make it clear, whether it's worth keeping these guys or not.

Kei: Set a border line and see if you can cross it.

Haseyama: Border line? Do you mean the leg cutting line?

Haseyama: ..........In short, are you trying to sift through the cast members.

Haseyama: Don't you want to leave the cast at this store?

Kei: Those who cannot cross the border line are not worthy of remaining at Starless.

Kei: If we want to survive, we must all rise. The fun begins now.

To be continued...

DISCLAIMER – This is not an accurate translation! Please do not steal. Please let me know of any corrections and what I translated wrong- I may have just written what I think works best, but if you think otherwise, let me know. :)

[cw-art]

dive

hehehoohoo

color palette challenge ? except i CHEATED hahaha

hoo hoo heehe e here

[perfectionts-virgo]

Making my way in the modern luxury apartment building walking towards the elevators pressed the button, the door opened seeing an apartment door open seeing the exact number the landlord emailed him. Entering the place, seeing a two story condo already decked out.

"Hi, are you Cordae ?" A woman asked I turned around seeing the most beautiful woman I ever witnessed, she showing her beautiful smile moving her auburn hair out her face wearing a fitted pink bodybyraventracy tracksuit hugging her figure.

"Yes, nice to meet you" I response looking at her closely

"My name is Aria Davis I'm one of roomate" she said with a smile

"We have another roomate ?" I asked looking turned my attention back to her

"Yes, she out doing errands" she continued talking "she will be back later"

Well, Aria been showing me around the condo the first story have a guest bathroom and living room, and the upstairs that's were our bedrooms and bathroom are then we have another floor with a our kitchen and living room, dining room with balcony looking out the city. (I guess I hit the jackpot or I got hired from my dream job)

Two Hours Later

I been unpacking and making myself home, I went downstairs putting up my groceries up I felt some tap my left shoulder, I turned around face her.

"My bad I'm about to grocery shopping" Aria said with smile "I'm letting you know before leaving you here by yourself"

"That's I'm done with everything I'm probably going to stay here" I replied folding the last plastic bag

"Well you can come" she replied grabbing her pink telfar bag "you want to tag along?"

"Yeah" I answered before she could say anything else "let me grab my keys"

"Let's hit the road" she said I followed behind

Four Months Later

It's four months I met my other roommate Rose Mitchell, she from South, Aria from West coast, clearly I'm from Harlem, New York, the first two months I needed some adjustment but everything is good... Looking For It now.

"NNGH! FUCK! HIT MY SPOT!!" Sound like Aria moaned out "POUND MY PUSSY LIKE THAT !!"

(Damn... she should've text me to leave or at least a heads up)

"WHERE YOU WANT IT ?!" a male voice moans "CUM ON MY FACE !

I put my airpods on and went on twitter and went on my bookmarks having some porn vids pulling out my dick (let me tell y'all other part I have a big dick I mean big it's like it's been like this since puberty. Only lucky girls I have shown) staring to jerk up and down my shaft twisting my wrist on my tip. (I been having plenty of privacy but-)

"Dae Dae, I'm going to the store to get taco ingredients" rose said opening my room door, I quickly put my harded dick in my shorts. "I -I interrupted something or you watching porn again?"

"Wassup, Rose but damn I told y'all knock before bargaining in" i replied seeing her start to chuckle "and okay let me know to Venmo you were still going half"

(But... Privacy is hard to find sometimes)

"Was I interrupted your jerkin- time" she started to chuckle more I blankly stare at her "heehe I knew it!"

"Hahaha, whatever text me when you make it to the store" he said seeing her playfully rolled her eyes turn around switching out the closing my room door

I chuckled shaking my head pulled my dick out finishing what I started...

It felt like an hour...

Rose opening my room door, I quickly put my harded dick in my shorts.

"I -I interrupted something or you watching porn again?" She asked looking like she about to start chuckling (this felt like déjà vu or I'm tripping?"

"Wassup, Rose but damn I told y'all knock before bargaining in" i replied seeing her start to chuckle "and okay let me know to Venmo you were still going half"

"Was I interrupted your jerkin- time" she started to chuckle more I blankly stare at her "heehe I knew it!"

"I Swear, it's like you're hiding down here" she said her back facing me squatting feeling her left hand on my left cheek with her right hand on my right leg helping her balance

"Why don't you show me what you're working with ?" She added turning to face me with nothing but lust in her eyes, she licking my right side of my cheek "I promise I'm better and tighter than your hands. I'd even let you cum on my face"

"let me know to Venmo you were still going half" I said grabbing her waist moving out my way letting her up, I'm not going to fuck up or friendship over some pussy

seeing her playfully rolled her eyes turn around switching out the closing my room door

I got up from the bed walking up my door locking it, sitting back on the bed stacking up my pillow laying down pulling my shorts off with already hardened dick my balls felt like they're about to explode. staring to jerk up and down my shaft twisting my wrist on my tip.

"F-fuck I'm Almost There! Nnngh!" I moaned out continuously jerking up and down

What Cordae didn't know, Rose walking Aria room having a conversation on the situation that just happened with Cordae, they walked to his room but of Aria is even nosier than rose unlock his room door with her acrylic nail

"I his lower back be hurting from carry it" Aria whispering to rose "T-that can't be real"

"Girl, stop pressing your titties into my back!" Rose whispered yelling "I'm going lose my b-"

They fell thru the door getting up seeing Cordae with his dick with his right hand wrapped around with pre cum oozing down his shaft.

"Damn, I knew you was hiding something but Shit!" Rose stated looking at him but back at his dick

"Oh my god, your dick is really big" Aria said with a shock expression stuck on her face not letting her eyes away from his dick "I should've known about you skinny niggas"

"W-wait chill out" I said looking at them Aria on my left side in front wrapped her right hand on my dick and her left hand on my ball sack then rose on my right side on her hands and needs paying a close attention.

For Cordae it was like out a porn video come to life, Aria wrapped her lips on his tip starting to suck, rose start working on his balls.

Aria pulled away from his dick pulling off her crop top freeing her perfect size breast, she continued taking off her black lace panties, rose pulling away from suck taking off her bra and panties climbing on top of him

"Aria, Girl save some for me" rose said squatting getting ready, Aria back facing him continued sucking jerk-in, making rose get up

Aria continued sucking and jerking, having my dick between wrapped her titties making spit bubbles having a mess, Aria pulled rose closer to her into a full blown make out session, pulling away from each other rose climbed on top on me Cordae thought they was going to do a 69 but she started sucking his dick in that angle making more a mess with Aria on my left side of me watching start circling on her clit, rose start jerkin but he didn't know what went over him he made a pony tail of her natural blonde hair with his right hand pushing her head down with her nose against his balls.

"It's so tight" he moaned stroking upwards

"Ooh S-shit ! Daddy! I'm gonna cum watching you fuck her throat like that !" Aria moaned used her left hand going deep in her pussy while continued constantly rubbing her clit.

Cordae continued stroking onto her mouth, while Aria watching closely of everything happening infront of her while continue rubbing & pumping her fingers inside of her, they making a mess, continuing pumping, he so close... continue stroking all he did he close his eyes, let's just say he bust the biggest nut of his life. He pulled away grabbed his towel walking to his bathroom.

"Mmm, that feel so Fucking good" rose said laying on her back Aria between her legs sucking on her a left nipple

Cordae made his way to the bathroom turning on the hot water on, jumping in having the hot water bounce against his skin, hearing the glass door open, he turned around seeing the girls in their naked glory with nothing but lust ready for more.

"Y'all better take y'all asses back to y'all rooms or it will get ugly" he joked with a smirk at them

"It's my turn" Aria said walking closer to me pressing her breast against his chest bitting her bottom lip "it wasn't fair rose was being stingy"

"It's not my fault he taste so good" Rose replied behind him pressed her breast on his back the stream making them all sweaty

"Dae Dae, you're not even hard ?" They both infront of me squatted facing his dick, both with a lot of lust with water running all them rose letting her blonde silk press turn to lose curls and Aria having auburn blow out to wavy curls "Well fix that"

(....They're back to finish what they started)

Aria continued start sucking Cordae sucking his half-hard dick, he pulled away, seeing two temptation he knew he couldn't avoid but he just walked out wrapped his towel around his waist walking out his room to the guest bathroom to locked the door start his shower without any interruption.

Out of nowhere I woke up, looking around The slight rays from the morning sun peeked through my blinds turned around seeing my phone fully charged saying it's 8:30 in the morning seeing a missed call and text from Rose saying she got a last minute hair appointment then have a message from Aria saying she going to the office he turned his head looking up to the ceiling.(Damn it was all a dream)

(But the funny thing is... This is only the beginning)

[agatha-loyagot]

A few weeks later...

Agatha had already gotten in very well with the class, by class I mean with Goio, she definitely doesn't want to get involved with them, with anyone in fact, she feels like she's fine with just one friend, her probably best friend, after Gaga and Toron, of course

But today, that would change, well, it started with a normal trip to Goio's dorm, to return a potions book, which she was doing very well in theory, but in practice... neh, anyway...

"Come on, how many stupid rooms are there here...?"

"Need help?"

Agatha turned around and saw... a beautiful elf! Her dark skin was unusual for elves, but that didn't matter, her lilac tunic suited her disturbingly well, but her bun made her look cute, and she was.

"Ohhh!! You are Agatha Loyagot! I'm Michelle Loboel, nice to meet you!"

"Oh, what a cute elf, hehehe~"

"Hehehe! thanks!"

"I'm looking for Goio's room, you know, the half-orc"

"I see that you like to talk about others based on their species, hahaha!"

"That's not what I meant-"

"Anyway! I'll show you where his room is! It's a little far but nothing two pairs of legs can't do!"

After that strange moment, a short walk began to Goio's room.

"So, you and Goio are the newbie duo, right?"

"Newbie?"

"Yes! Goio arrived here willingly in a month and you in three weeks! both newbies, both my friends!"

"What? oh dear, I don't even know you"

"This is how friendships begin! silly!"

She pulled Agatha by the shoulder, like a not-so-intimate hug.

"Don't touch me, until I think about touching you like that..."

"Oh...Hoho!! You're quite stressed, aren't you? hehehe... heeh..."

The silence lasted until we arrived at Goio's door.

"Well... I think Goio... is out now..."

She was frantically knocking on the door.

"Can't we just go in and make sure?"

"Girls are not allowed to enter the men's dormitories and vice versa!"

"Oh yeah..."

"Well, I guess this is a sign that we tried to get along and became best friends!"

"Hah! No."

"Oh! why not?!"

"Hah, girl, you're definitely not my kind of friend."

"Why? Am I very happy for you? hohoho~"

"All happy, looks like have a lot of friends..."

"And I have!"

"And how many lies about me have you heard from them?"

"..."

Strike two, silence returned to the scene...

"... Look, I can hear a lot of things about you... but you better believe I never believed any of them..."

"... okay... let's do it like this, doll"

Agatha approached...

"Win me over in your charming way, the same way you won over all your friends."

"O-okay..."

And then, here came Goio, finally.

"Agatha! What are you-"

"Here's your book, goodbye to you two."

She simply left the book on Goio's chest and left, as she walked away, she took a look at Michelle...

"She will be mine...~"

"What happened...?"

_________________________________________

End Of Chapter two

Thanks for reading ^^

[dia-souls]

DIABOLIK LOVERS: Laito Birthday Special Drama “The missing Fedora”

Original title: 行方不明のフェドーラ

Source: Fanmade Tokuten Drama CD

Story: Admin Ava

Seiyuu: Suegara rie, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takashi Kondou, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Konishi Katsuyuki, Toriumi Kousuke

Author Note: We are excited to present you the first of the three drama cds for the triplets birthday! We have much plan and can’t wait for you guys to see. Also a little bit of a disclaimer. Make sure to say happy birthday to your favorite pervert!

_The scene starts in Laito room.

*Beep Beep*

Laito: Puwahhh… Mmm, looks like its time to get up~ Oh my, what a beautiful morning. The bats are squeaking, the sun is setting, and a gorgeous full moon is rising up. Ready to fill me with magnificent power~

_Laito get’s out of bed and head towards his vanity.

Laito: But what makes today even better is…Nfu~ today is my birthday~ The one day of the year were I, Laito Sakamaki, am celebrated for gracing this shitty world with my glorious presence. Not to mention the gifts I’ll receive from all my, fufu~, cute little subjects. And Bitch-Chan of course~ Oh the fun we’ll have together. All the naughty, dirty, lustful fun~ I can just imagine how grand it all shall be. It’s a shame I have to share it with those to idiots but beggars can’t be choosers after all~ Now I should get ready for my big day.

*Foot steps*

_Laito grabs a towel and heads towards the bathroom.

*Time Skip*

Laito: Haaah…What a good shower~ Not only do I smell fresh, but I was even able to give myself a , fufu , early birthday present. Now time to pick out an outfit suitable for a prince such as myself~ Now lets see, hmm what to wear? Ah so many decides, how can I pick just one when they’ll all look dashing on me? Being this beautiful is so hard! Haaah… well it can’t be help. I’ll just have to live with this gorgeous body forever….Not that I’m complaining of course~. Ooh, what’s this?

*Shuffles*

Laito: Hmm? Ah its a suite. I don’t remember buying this one. Oh, there is a note on the side. “Dear Laito, Happy Birthday. Today is all about you and it should be celebrated to the fullest. Inside the box is custom tailored suit, fit for a king such as yourself. I do hope you will wear it with your signature style. Have a divine birthday. From, Anonymous.”

_Latio takes of the outfit from the box’s and throw it on his.

Laito: Anonymous, huh? Hmm, just whoever got be such a nice gift? Gasp! It couldn’t be, one of my brothers. Could it? Maybe, just for toady. They put aside their hatred and envy towards me so they could buy me a gift? That’s so….pfft… Hahaha! That’s so fucking disgusting~ There no way those bastards would ever give me something this nice. Unless it was laced in so deadly poison of course. Sooo, if it’s not one of them, then that means….hehe

*Inhales*

Laito: Ahh~ That could only mean~ Oh Bitch-Chan, you impish little girl~ Sneaky into my bedroom in the middle of the night while I slept. Just to give me a present before you were too shy~ How adorable~ Nfu~ I wonder what else she could’ve done as I was sleeping…Mmm~ I can already imagine that lewd look on her face when she saw me all defenseless. Probably itching to run her hands all over my body~ To wordship me with her soft lips, whispering such dirty words in my ear~ Aah, perhaps she wanted to straddle herself onto me, slowly removing that sheer little nightgown. Revealing that pale supple nape full of the most delectable crimson ambrosia~ Oooh, the more I fantasize, they dryer my throat becomes. Perhaps I should finish getting ready so I can, hehe, personally, thank Bitch-Chan for such a lovely little gift~.

_Laito takes out the suit.

Laito: Not too bad, if I do say to myself. But then again, don’t I always look extravagant in everything I wear~ However, one last touch is needed before I achieve ultimate perfection. My trusty fedora~ Once I place it on, Bitch-Chan won’t be able to resist me~ Now, where did I put it?”

*Ruffle Ruffle*

Laito: Heeh? That’s strange. I could’ve sworn I left it on the dresser. Maybe it just fell over.

*Creak*

Laito: ….Not there. I probably misplaced it. Somewhere….in here. Not under my bed. It’s not in my closet. It isn’t in my bathroom. I couldn’t have lost it. No only forgetful people lose stuff. My memory is in top performance. I distinctly remember getting home from karaoke and putting my hat right here on my dresser. Where I always put it. I probably just didn't look hard enough. I’ll check one more time. It has to be somewhere. *Gulps* It has to be…

_Laito runs around his room, searching for his hat. Throwing clothes everywhere and pushing furniture out of the way.

Laito: …. I-It’s not here. H-How the hell is that p-p-possible. I l-l-left it on my dresser. Im sure I did! So why isn’t it here?! How is this even- wait. What if I didn’t misplace my fedora? What if, someone took it? After all, I do live with a bunch of thieving, lying, rodents. Something like this would be right up their alley~ Messing with me on my big day, getting a kick out of seeing my panic. Well, I won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing me lose it. I’ll find the bastard who dares takes my things. And when I do, fufu~, let's just say. It’s going to be one bloody birthday~

*Time Skip*

*Knock Knock*

_In Yui room.

Yui; Huh? Hello who is it?

_From the other side of the door.

Laito: Hey Bitch-Chan~ Its Laito-kun. Could you please opened the door for me? There something I wanna ask you.

Yui: Oh sure! Just give me one second.

*Click*

Yui: Hey Laito-kun, come on in. You said you have something to tell—

_Laito pins Yui to the wall.

Yui: L-Laito-kun! What’s the meaning of this?! Let go!

_Yui struggles against him

Laito: Uh uh Bitch-Chan let's not get too hasty now~ I just want to have a little chat with you, that’s all~ So why don’t you stop struggling and listen to what I have to say.

Yui: If that’s the case could you at least let me go? Your really hurting my wrist.

_Laito moves his face closer.

Laito: Aww, sorry Bitch-Chan~ Unfortunately I can’t do that just yet. Who knows what will happened if I let you out of my grasp for even a second. You might try to escape, and we can’t have that. Can we?

Yui: What do you even want from me?!

Laito: Bitch-Chan, Bitch-Chan, acting stupid just to make yourself look like a saint is soo cute! It absolutely just, turns my stomach. How about you cut the angelic act and give me my fedora back before I tear your thin wrist with my fangs.

Yui: Laito what are you even talking about?! I don’t have your fedora, why would I even take it in the first place?!

Laito: Bitch-Chan, unlike my other brothers, I’m not stupid. Im trying to be nice right now but your making it very difficult to be kind. I’ll give you more one chance to tell me the truth or….nfu~…I’ll turn you into a gorgeous little blood splatter~ Speared across your entire room for all my brothers to see.

_Yui shivers

Yui: Laito I’m serious I didn’t take your fedora, honestly! If you don’t believe me then I’ll help you look for it! Just please, let me go.

_Laito thinks for a second.

Laito: ….Fine. If you help me find my fedora, then I’ll show you mercy.

_Yui sighs in relief.

Laito: However, if we can’t find it and I find out that you’ve lied to me…Aah~ I’ll turn you into my personal buffet~ I’ll rip you up into delectable little pieces and slowly devour your sweet body bit by bit. Until the only thing left of you, is a strain of hair~ Okay?

Yui: Yes of course! I c-completely understand. Anyway, I think we should head to Reiji-San's room first. He normally knows where everything is so he might have some insight on where your fedora is.

Laito: Hmm~, not a bad idea Bitch-Chan. Maybe you aren’t as ditzy as I thought. Now, shall we get going?

Yui: Ah, yes. Let’s head over.

*Clack Clack*

_Scene sifts to the hallway.

Laito: Hey Reiji-San~ its meee, your amazing, splendid, beautiful younger brother~ Are you there?

_No answer.

Yui: Hmm, maybe he’s in the middle of reading or something. I’ll knock on the door.

*Knock Knock*

Yui: Excuse me, Reiji-san. We need to talk to you right now. Can you open the door please?

_No answer.

Laito: Ehh? Why is Reiji ignoring us Bitch-Chan? Thats so meannn! Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to, go in ourselves~

Yui: Wait Laito-kun! I don’t think Reiji-san will appreciate us barging in his room unannounced. Perhaps we should just wait out here until he—huh? Laito? Where did he-

Laito: Hurry up Bitch-Chan. Your such a slow poke~

Yui: Did you not here I word I said?! We shouldn’t be in her without Reiji-san's permission. *mumbles* I though vampires were suppose to ask before entering somewhere…

Laito: Not if it's their own house Bitch-Chan~ Stop mumbling under your breath and relax. He’s not even here right now so there is nothing to worry about. Now, go search on that side of the room and I’ll search on this side. Make sure not to make too much noise~ You can do that after we’ve found my hat.

_Yui face flush.

Yui: Ummm, l-looks like its not in this cabinet. I’ll go check over there now…

Laito: Nothing in these drawers either. Oh, now what do we have here~ Ohh Bitch-Chan, look what I’ve found~

Yui: Huh? Did you find your—

*Crack*

Yui: N-no way…Laito, please don’t tell me what I think that is…

Laito: Oh but Bitch-Chan, we both know exactly what this is~ Reiji favorite whip. Beautifully hand crafted by the finest craftsman in the demon realm. He threaten us with this so many times, get a kick out of touring us. It’s not so secret little kink of his. Say, Bitch-Chan. I've always wanted to have a go this thing myself. Unfortunately I never got a chance to…until now~

Yui: L-L-Laito…we’re supposed to be looking for your hat right? S-so why don’t you put it down and we-

_Laito pushes Yui on the bed.

Laito: Nfu~…Bitch-Chan~ Come on, there is no need to be shy~ I just want to have a little fun with you before Reiji gets back. Besides, the smell of your blood has been tempting me since I came to your room~ My fangs are just aching to get a taste of you~ So be a good girl and let me fill you steamy hot pleasure…fufu~

* Tears*

Yui: Laito! Stop it before Reiji—

_The door opens.

Reiji: Ahh, what a splendid shower. Hmm, I think I’ll have a hot cup of tea after drying off, then relax in my chair with a good boo-

_They make eye contact with each other.

Reiji:…..

Laito&Yui: *Sees Reiji in a towel*

Reiji, Laito, and Yui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

_Reiji towel falls

Reiji, Laito, and Yui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

_Reiji covers himself up

Reiji: WHAT ARE TWO DEVIANTS DOING IN MY ROOM?! WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!

Laito: AH my eyes! Uwaaa, I’m blind! Let’s get out off here Bitch-Chan!

_Laito covers Yui’s eyes

Yui: I’m so sorry Reiji-San!

_Laito teleports them out of the room

Reiji: What in the?! Laitooooooo! YOU TWO GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!!

*Time Skip*

_Scene changes to the hallway

Laito: Ugh…I feel nauseous….I think I’m going to puke again!

Yui: God, I’m sorry! Please don’t punish me! I didn’t mean to see one before I got married, it was an accident! Please forgive me!

Ayato: Geez! Why the hell are you two hollering like a couple of banishes! Y’all being more annoying than Kanato!

Kanato: Ayato….I suggest you hold your tongue, before I rip it out from your ass! Although, he’s not wrong. Why are you two wailing like as if someone ate your chocolate cake. Im the only one who’s allowed to do that!

Laito: We saw…*gag* something absolutely fucking atrocious! Oh it was horrible…my eyes…my poor,poor, eyes….I don’t think I can see anymore… Ayato, Kanato, is that you? I can only here your voices but I don’t know where you are.”

_Kanato slaps him in the back of the head.

Kanato: Will you snap out of it! It takes a lot more to make you go blind then whatever you saw. Anyway, were you two the reason why we heard shouting from Reiji's room?

Ayato: Yeah I heard that too! Chichinashi, you have the most girliest scream I’ve ever heard! That shit was loud.

Yui: Huh, what are you talking about Ayato-kun? That scream came from La-

_Laito puts his hand over her mouth.

Laito: Yep that sure was a loud scream she made. Right, Bitch-Chan?

_Smiles at Yui darkly.

Yui: *coughs* Y-Yeah, that was all me. Definitely…just me and no one else…Oh yeah! By the way guys, Laito misplaced his hat and were trying to find it. Have you guys seen it by any chance?

Kanato: Ha! I told you that if you wore it all the time you’d eventually lose it. But you didn’t listen~ Thats karma for you~

Laito: I didn’t lose it! I distinctly remember placing in on my dresser when I went to bed. Also, your not one to talk Kanato-Kun. I can’t possibly imagine what would happened if your teddy suddenly went..nfu~ missing. What a shame that would be~

_Kanato glares at Laito

Kanato: If you ever, talk so vulgarly about Teddy ever again…I’LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT WITH MY BARE FANGS!

Ayato: Kanato will you calm the fuck down! I swear one of these days you bitches will make me lose my fucking hearing! Damn!

Kanato: Fuck off Ayato before I—

Ayato: In any case, did you check your room to make sure you didn’t just leave it there back accident?

Kanato: Don’t ignore—

Laito: Of course. That was the first thing I did. But it wasn’t in my room. We checked Reiji's room as well but it wasn’t there.

Kanato: STOP INTERRUPTING—

Ayato: I suggest checking Shu's room. That guy is always taking shit that’s not his. Plus you did piss him off yesterday remember?

Kanato: YOU BAST—

Laito: Hmm, good idea. After all it wouldn’t be beneath that guy to be so petty~ To think that he’s the oldest. Fufu~ What a joke~

_Kanato starts losing his shit on the floor.

Yui: Um guys. I think there’s something wrong with Kanato.

Ayato: Eh? What you talking about Chichinashi? He’s fine.

Kanato: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Laito: Yeah that’s normal. Nevertheless, Bitch-Chan. Shall we go to Shu’s room?

Yui: Yeah sure, let's get going.

Ayato: Hold up! I’m coming with. Beats doing my chores.

Laito: Kay. More people to help search. Let’s go~

Ayato:Alright. Come on Kanato, lets go.

Kanato: *Foaming from the mouth*

*Time Skip*

_Scene changes to Shu room.

Latio: Oh, the doors open. Hellooo~ Shu-Shu~ Are you here ? Your adorable baby brothers are coming in.

Ayato: Gross man! Trust me, none y’all ugly mugs could ever been considered adorable. Now me on the other hand, am chiseled like a Greek good.

Kanato: Oh, well whoever sculpted you clearly was either blind, deaf, or both because he didn’t do a good job that’s for sure.

Ayato: Shouldn’t you still be rolling in in your rabies or something?

Kanato: I stopped doing that 10 minutes ago you fu—

Yui: Boys! Enough fighting! We need to be quiet. Look.

_Points at Shu sleeping

*snore*

Yui: If we make any sudden movements or any unnecessary nosies , then he’ll wake up before we even get a chance to search his room. We’ll each check a section of the room and then get out as quickly as possible. Okay?

Latio: *Whisper* Aah~ I love it when Bitch-Chan gets all serious~ It makes your blood smell all that more pungent~

Ayato: *Whisper* Oi! Cut it out Laito. Odd-Sama never gave you permission to touch her! If you want her blood you’ll have to ask me first. And the answer is no!

Kanato: *You two suck as whispering! All your doing is shouting very softly! Shut up before he wakes up!

*Rustle*

Ayato, Laito, Kanato, and Yui:..

Shu: Mmm….

Yui: *whsiper* And this is why we need to be quiet. Now, start searching before he actually wakes up.

_The nod and start looking.

Kanato: Nothing on the desk.

Laito: It’s not under the couch.

*Shuffles*

Ayato: Dresser is clear too.

_Yui puts her hand under the bed.

Yui: I don’t feel anything under—huh? What is that?

*Squish Squish*

Yui: *Pulls something from under the bed* What the!?

Laito: Hmm? Did you find something Bitch-Chan———Oh my~ Well that’s really, unexpected, fufu~ Hey boys~ Come look what Bitch-Chan found under our big brothers bed.

Ayato: Huh? What did Chichinashi find—-no fucking way! Haha! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Kanato! Kanato! Look what was under Shu bed!

Kanato: What? Oh my! Ewwwww! Gross! Gross! Gross! That is so disgusting! I think I’m going to throw up! Yuck!

Yui: Huh? Guys I’m confused What is this? It’s big cylinder with a really big opening…

Laito: Well~ You see Bitch-Chan, when guys need a bit of a, relieve they—

Shu: Get the hell out of their brothers room for making so much noise.

Ayato: Son of a—when did you wake up?!

Shu: Ive been awake every since I heard Laito girly voice in the doorway. Ugh, who the hell do you all think you are sneaking into my room while I’m trying to sleep.

Laito: First of all, my voice isn’t girly you piece if shit~ Next, were trying to find my fedora. You see it went missing and were searching around the manor to find it. Trust me~ If we didn’t have to check in here, I wouldn’t step foot in here. Thats for sure~

Shu: Tch, well sorry to disappoint you but your rancid smelling fedora isn’t in here. Why would I even take it?

Laito: Fufu~ You were probably trying to imitate my look~ But sorry to disappoint you, you’ll never be as stunning as I am. So, don’t even try it. Ok-ay~

Shu: Heh, your delusional if you I’d ever want to look like your ugly mug. I’d rather eat a bowl of worms than look like you. Now if you brats have nothing better to do. I suggest I get out before I make you.

Laito: Oh really~ Because to me it sounds like-

_Yui grabs his arm.

Yui: Come on Laito, lets go and search some else. Sorry for bargains into your invited Shu-San. We’ll leave you to your rest. Let’s go guys.

Shu: At least someone here as common sense. Get out and stop making so much noise. Im going back to…zzzz

_The door closes.

*Time Skip*

Kanato: Well, that was a wasted of time. Now where are we suppose to look for his hat?

Ayato: How the hell am I suppose to know. Im all fresh out of good ideas. Oi Chichinashi, where do you think we should check next?

Yui: Hmm, I’m not so sure. Laito-Kun, where was the last place had your hat before you went to bed?

Laito: Hmm~ Good question Bitch-Chan~ The last place I recall having my hat with me was~….Oh yeah the dining room. I was on my phone talking with some of my…nfu~..ladies. No need to be jealous Bitch-Chan~ Your still my number one. Anyway, we should check there next.

_Scene change to the dining room entrance.

Kanato: Huh? Look, its Subaru.

Ayato: Oh it is. Oi Subaru! Why are you standing in front of the door? We need to get in. Move it.

Subaru: No can do. Reiji told me that no one is allowed in here until later on. I didn’t want to do it but he said he would increase my allowance if I did so. So, I am.

Yui: How come Reiji said that none of us can go in there?

Subaru: How the hell am I supposed to know that? He just said I need to make sure no one goes in before 5:30.

Kanato: 5:30? But that’s like in 6 more minutes. Just let us in for a few seconds then we’ll leave before Reiji har turns grey.

Subaru: Tch, that wasn’t funny you bastard. Just for that, your asses definitely aren’t getting in. Now if you guys have no more business here, then vamoose.

Ayato: Huh?! Who the hell die and made you king. You either let us go through or I’ll turn your face into a fucking pancake.

Subaru: Ha! Oh is that right . Fine by me, I was getting bored of just standing here. Kicking your ass will be some well deserved entertainment,

*Crack Crack*

Yui: Crap this isn’t good. I should stop this before something gets ruin…Uh, Subaru-Kun! I just remember, I need your help with something. Can you please come with me?

Subaru: Huh? Can’t you see I’m busy right now?! I’ll help you after I’m done with him.

_Yui walks in front of Subaru.

Yui: Please Subaru. I really need your help.

_Gives him the puppy dog eyes.

Ayato: Butt out Chichinashi! Can’t you see I’m about to hand Subaru his ass—

Subaru: W-Well I guess since you ask, I guess I don’t mind. Let’s go.

Yui: Great lets go. I’ll be right back guys.

*Clack Clack*

Laito: Bye Bitch-Chan~ thanks for the distraction. Great now that our baby brother is out of the way, shall we go inside?

Kanato: I guess. That took way to look. Let’s just find your hat so I can go to bed.

Ayato: Agree. I have some takioyaki in the fridge with my name on it. Let’s get this over with.

*Beep Beep*

Ayato&Kanato: Oh, my phone is ringing.

_They read the message.

Ayato&Kanato: …

Ayato: Uh I just remember that I have homework to do. Don’t we Kanato?

Kanato: Homework?…Oh yeah! Yes we sure do! You can handle searching for your fedora yourself right Laito?

Laito: Ehh~ Since when do you two do homewor—

Ayato: Ok Kanato let’s go!

Kanato: Right! We’ll be right back Laito.

_They walk away.

Laito: Fufu~ I wonder what’s got them so anxious to tell me such a crappy lie. Oh well~ Back to just me I guess. Now, time to find my fedora.

*Creak*

Laito: Geez its so dark~ Where is that light switch? Ah! Found it.”

_Turns on the lights

Laito: Alright, time to sear—

_Everyone jumps from behind the the table.

Everyone: Surprise! Happy Birthday Laito!

Laito: Oh my! What is all of this?!

Yui: It’s your surprise birthday party!

Ayato: They’ve been planning it since last week.

Kanato: But apparently they didnt tell us because they said that, “you guys are blabber mouth* and *you guys wont be able to keep your mouth shut* or whatever.

Subaru: We weren’t wrong, if we told you two then the surprise would be ruin.

Shu: This party was a pain in the ass to plan and set up so you’ll be the one to clean it up.

Reiji: Excuse you, all you did was sleep during the preparations. You have no right to talk about being overwork.

Shu: Your nagging is making me…zzzzz

Reiji: Insufferable dead beat. In any case, Laito since your the main character of today. You should take your seat in the center.

Laito: Ooh~ Don’t mind if I do~

_Laito sits down.

Ayato: And here’s your birthday crown. But remember, your only allowed to wear it for today. The only true king in this house is me.

Kanato: Im pretty sure you mean me. Im the second oldest so I should get to wear the crown after him.

Ayato: Well according to Japanese mythology, the third triple is the eldest triple. Which basically means I’m older than both of you!

Laito: Oh is that so Ayato-kun~ If that’s true then how come I act way more mature than you do~ Because I actually am the real oldest~

Ayato: You trying to start something with me?!

Laito: Of course not~ After all, I don’t fight with little virgins~

Ayato: Oi what the hell?! You wanna die birthday boy?!

Laito: Mmm, no thanks I’m good~ But you can go keel over for me as a birthday gift~ I’d really appreciate it~

Ayato: You mother-

*Squeak Squeak*

Reiji: What? A familiar, what is it doing here?

Yui: Look, it has a present with it.

Kanato: I think that present is for Laito

Laito: Hmm~ What could this be?

Ayato: Look there is a not on the side

Subaru: It says, “Dear Nephew, I hope you had a wonderful birthday full of fun. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it to your mini celebration, but I sent a familiar to give you a very special gift. I hope you enjoy. Once again, Happy Birthday. From, Uncle Richter.” What the hell? A special gift?

Shu: It’s probably full of dead rats and snakes. I wouldn’t open it if I was you.

Laito: You aren’t wrong, however~ I am just a but curious to see what are bastard of an Uncle gave me~ Plus I can just burn it afterwards.

_Opens the box.

Yui: Oh my god! It’s—

Laito: My fedora!

Ayato: What the fuck!? He had it the entire time?

Kanato: Gross he snuck into your room and took it! If I were you, i’d burn it and just buy a new one.

Laito: Don’t worry I’ll give it a nice clean. After we get this party started of course!

Ayato: Yeah your right! Let’s party wooooo!

Kanato: Let’s cut some cat!

Yui: Alight everyone, lets do it one more time on three. 1…2..3!

Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAITO!

Laito: Thanks everyone! Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday Laito!

______ The End ______

[paleparearchive]

Extremely Unlucky Birthday

Courbet's Birthday 4★ story (3/3) ( 1 - 2 - 3 )

Location: Courbet & Millet's room ; dormitory hallway (evening) | Characters: Courbet, Van Gogh, Rembrandt, Watteau, Millet, Manet

Van Gogh: Is Courbet alright?

Millet: He was up late painting last night, so maybe he was just a little tired.

Courbet: (Hmm...? What is it. It's noisy. Is that Millet... And Van Gogh?)

—

Van Gogh: Ah! Courbet! Thank god. You're awake!

Courbet: (Ah, right. I collapsed on the floor… So I was brought here. I've really done it. How dare I say I could take care of myself?)

(...? I can't get my fingers to move… Huh!?)

Hey, what the hell is this? Why are there bandages wrapped around my hands and face?

Millet: I think you scraped your hands and face when you fell down in the hallway. Rembrandt-san saw this and was very worried…

Courbet: You let him do it? ... You could have easily seen this coming, couldn't you?

Millet: I know, but Rembrandt-san kept winding down with a very grieving face.

Van Gogh: Right. It would've been a pity to stop him.

Courbet: (A grieving face… That's easy to imagine. That's why I didn't want to worry them…)

Watteau: Oh! You up? How ya feelin'? Need medicine?

Courbet: There's no need.

Manet: Hm. That's not very nice. That's what happens when you don't train your body on a regular basis. Recover promptly before your gloomy mood spreads to others.

Courbet: This is just fatigue. A little rest and I'll be fine.

Manet: Huh, I see.

—

Rembrandt: Ah, Manet-san. How is it…? Is Courbet-kun still having a hard time?

Manet: I don't know. See it with your own eyes. You're way too worried. The only reason that guy fell was because he was weak.

—

Courbet: What's with that guy. Did he come all the way here to lecture me?

Watteau: I was the one who found ya lyin' in the hallway, but it was actually Manet-san who carried ya here.

Courbet: (It's the worst thing to owe to Manet, of all people.)

Van Gogh: Manet-san. He kept coming back to check on you while you were sleeping. Manet-san is also worried for you, Courbet.

Courbet: That guy…? … Then I guess I should thank him.

Watteau: Heeh, you're awfully honest, arentcha? Maybe ya got a fever?

Millet: Hahaha… Maybe.

Manet: This is a gift from me. Accept it with gratitude.

Courbet: A gift…?

Rembrandt: Ah, let's see, it's this nutritional drink. Manet-san said it was specially made by him.

Manet: It's a panacea for fatigue, eye strain, stiff shoulders, and headaches. Take it and get well soon. Goodbye.

Rembrandt: ? You're leaving, Manet-san?

Manet: The rest is up to you.

Watteau: … Got it. Well, I'm off too!

Van Gogh: Rembrandt-san. See, Courbet was fine.

Rembrandt: …

Courbet: … You were worried again?

Rembrandt: Because I'm like this, I'm afraid I might have a bad influence on the people around me…

Millet: So you got anxious and didn't let yourself in the room even though you were worried about Courbet.

Courbet: (I knew you were bothered by it, that's why I wanted to hide it…)

(Ah, so that's what Manet was preaching about earlier... Because Rembrandt would be concerned if I were the one who was laid in bed.)

I've just been a little careless as of late, putting in a lot of work on the concept of a new piece. No fever, no illness. And it's not your fault, so don't worry about it.

Rembrandt: … Are you really okay? Then I'll check to see if you have a fever.

Courbet: H-Hey…! Why, what are you… Tch. If you want to measure it, use a thermometer…

Rembrandt: But if I try to find a thermometer, I might make a mess in the room. Isn't this simpler and easier to understand?

Courbet: That's… Yeah, but… As expected… This is…

Rembrandt: I can't measure properly if you moveee. Hmm, which is it? It's not that hot, I guess?

Courbet: … Ah!

Rembrandt: Huh? … Your face is red. I think you have a fever, don't you?

You have to heal properly. Uhm... I think I have a bandage in my pocket…

Courbet: I do not have a fever, and bandages would have nothing to do with it in the first place. Just move out of the way!

Rembrandt: Hahaha. Sorry, sorry.

Van Gogh: I'm glad to see you both are feeling better!

Millet: Haha, right.

[sarcasticmothdraws]

"Smokers Make Therapists Rich AF" Part 2

===>

<===

[Transcript<3]

[an-ordinary-roach]

M!A Tiny Bor can now duplicate as many times as they want

it seems like this anon made a terrible mistake-

[renmnin]

[9:00pm] *knock knock* “Babe! Let me in! I need to pee!” You heard your boyfriend yell from the other side of the door “Hold on!” You yelled back as you heard him sigh “BABE! I LOVE YOU, BUT I HAVE TO PEE! GET ME INSIDE!” You giggled as you slowly and lethargically opened the door “FINALLY TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH WOMAN!” he let out as he pushed you to the side - anon k

this is so funny LOL thank you for brightening up my night

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LOST EDEN Vol.2 Kino Saga [TRACK 5]

Original title: 欲しがる理由

Source: Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN Vol.2: Kino-hen

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tomoaki Maeno

Translator’s note: It has been a while since I actually translated this CD so I have forgotten some things, but I do recall being very fascinated by Kino’s backstory. I just wish Rejet was a little more clear about what exactly he is but maybe I will learn more when I eventually play his Lost Eden route. :p Speaking of which, I’m sure this CD has some spoilers for his route but I don’t really mind. I recall translating some of Carla and Shin’s CDs long before playing either one of their routes as well. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

TRACK 5: WHY I WANT YOU

*Rustle*

“Nn…”

*Rustle rustle*

“Nnh…Ahー I must have dozed off at some point. Pwaah…The taste of her blood still lingers on my tongue. Perhaps I overindulged a little?”

*Rustle*

“Hmー As to be expected, she’s out for the count.”

*Knock knock*

“Yes?”

Yuuri informs him on the Sakamakis retreat to the Demon World. 

“Heehー Those guys just made a run for it, huh? I guess they went to the Demon World. …Well, it makes sense. With six of them, it’s difficult to hide.”

You ask if he’s talking about the Sakamakis.

“ーー Whoops. Ahーah. How long have you been awake for?”

You sigh in relief.

“I would have liked to keep it a secret from you for just a little longer. Look at you being so relieved.”

*Rustle*

“Hey! This is your fault Yuuri! …Well, I guess it can’t be helped now that she heard. However, knowing that, I suppose it’s about time we get started with the preparations.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“I mean, those guys will definitely come to steal you back, won’t they? That’s why I need to be ready to strike back when they do. …One of them has even inherited Father’s powers.”

You ask Kino what he hopes to achieve.

“Hah? What? Isn’t that obvious? …I will become the King of the Demon World.”

You ask him why.

“Don’t sweat the details. You really think there’s anyone out there who would pass up on such an opportunity? Besides, I want power. Overwhelming…powers…”

You try to convince Kino that those powers are not what he might think.

“What exactly are you trying to tell me? Inheriting those powers only brought the guy pain and suffering? I mean, I’m sure it’s because he’s simply not cut out for them.”

You elaborate.

“Please don’t group us together. I’m nothing like those who enjoyed a good, fortunate upbringing free from any worries…I was abandoned in the Demon World’s Land of the Unwanted alongside the Ghouls, only to be discriminated against and resented by other Demons. And if that wasn’t bad enough, even the Ghouls…! Anyway, I’d be able to pull it off. I will be able to wield those powers correctly. The Vampire, Vibora, Adler and even the Wolf Clan…I will use those powers to annihilate all of them! Ahaha…Hahaha…”

Your eyes widen in terror.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you stay alive. I kind of need you to be by my side when I claim sovereignty over the Demon World after all. Besides, your blood is sweet and delicious as well.”

You frown and question his words from earlier. 

“Oh, I still hate you, for sure. But that doesn’t matter, does it?”

Yuuri enters the room.

“Yuuri. We are going to make the first move again. Just like how we did when we murdered Lord Richter. ー I’m just not the waiting type. …Let us dye the moon crimson with blood once again tonight.”

You ask Kino if he is the culprit behind Richter’s death.

“Exactly. I’m the one who killed Lord Richter. That guy had the nerve to seek me out himself and approach me. I guess he assumed he could use me to achieve his own goals. But too bad, I taught him a lesson and he paid with his life. I really enjoyed the look in his eyes during his final moments.”

Your face goes pale.

“Fufu…~ I guess you’re shocked to find out about his death? But he was a Vampire, remember? So he should have been glad to meet his end. No need for you to be so shocked.”

You grab hold of Kino’s arm and ask him what he wants to do.

*Rustle* 

“Tsk…Isn’t that obvious? I told you before, didn’t I? I want to get my hands on those powers and bring an end to all Demons. If you understand that, let go of me. …No point in trying to stop me.”

Kino leaves the room.

*SCENE SHIFT*

“Yuuri, I want you to keep an eye on her. I honestly wouldn’t put it past her to try and jump out of the window again. I can handle those Sakamakis by myself just fine.”

Yuuri tells him to be careful. 

“Yeah, yeah. I won’t do anything reckless. I’ll make sure to have some alleys by my side, just in case. I won’t lose that easily. …Unlike those guys, I have a proper goal I’m working towards.”

Yuuri nods.

“Well then, I’m leaving her in your care, Yuuri.”

 The wind blows in the distance.

( After speaking those words, I leaped off into the night sky alongside my Ghoul comrades. When I did, I couldn’t help but catch sight of the lights flickering on the land. From my point of view, those lights looked incredibly pure and beautiful. Like someone had scattered konpeito all across the ground. It almost gave me the impression that stars had fallen down on this place. Yet, at such a lovely place, those Demons who think they can trample all over us are hidden. It’s rather odd that as soon as I realize that, an unstoppable urge to massacre them right here and now wells up inside of me. 

ーー I start seeking out other Demons from up in the air. It shouldn’t be that difficult to track them down. The fact that this is not the Demon World plays in my favor, since they’re more likely to forget to conceal their presence. I am sure that they consider this place to be some kind of Paradise as well. )

“...I guess I really have no other choice but to put the trash where it belongs. ーー In the garbage bin, that is.” 

*Woosh* 

*TIMESKIP*

Kino enters his manor.

“I’m back!”

He plops down on the couch.

*Thud*

“Phew…”

Yuuri approaches him.

“Ah, Yuuri. How is she doing?”

He explains.

“A shower, huh? I guess she finally realizes that there’s no way out for her.”

Yuuri asks how things went. 

“Ah, unfortunately, I couldn’t find those Sakamakis today. This blood belonged to some random Vampire. They had been living amongst humans, so I killed them.”

He suggests that Kino takes a bath.

“Ahー You do make a good point. Guess I can’t stay covered in blood like this…I suppose I should go freshen up. I’m sure she has left the bathroom by now, right?”

Kino gets up.

“Mmh. Well then, Yuuri, I expect you to bring me my guava juice?”

He leaves towards the bathroom. 

*Thud* 

*Pshhhhh*

“...Oh? She’s still in there? Quite the long bath she’s taking then. Hmー Oh well, whatever. No need to hold back at this point. We can just take a bath together.”

Kino takes off his clothes. 

*Rustle rustle* 

“...Hey! You’re in the bath, right? I’ll join you as well. ー Eh? No reaction? Boring!”

He approaches the shower area. (1)

“Say, aren’t you going to at least freak out a little or get all embarrassed?”

*Knock*

“Hey…!”

*Knock knock*

“I’m coming in, okay?”

Kino opens the door. 

“Huh…? There’s nobody here?”

*TIMESKIP*

“I wonder who took her away?”

Yuuri apologizes once more.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you never expected her to disappear from the shower, did you? Besides, only a Demon capable of controlling space would be able to pull that off. Which means it has to be those guys…Things were going a little too well. I made myself known to her and I’m sure she will tell them all about me. I mean, it isn’t really my style to do things behind other people’s backs…so this honestly works in my favor. Next time, I’ll go and get Eve in person. I’m honestly looking forward to it already. …But no need to rush. Hahn…”

*Nom* 

*Crunch*

“I am sure that the stars will guide us. ーー Just like they did back then, remember?”

( While thinking so, I bit down on the sweetness of the konpeito spreading across my tongue. ーー While the sweet melody of this world falling apart echoes in the back of my mind. )

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Most Japanese bathrooms consist of two separate areas with a door in between. The first area is used to take off your clothes while the second is where the shower area and tub are.