#THE 5 YEARS THING WAS SUCH AN EASY JOKE TO MAKE BUT....... I GIGGLED I LAUGHED I SMILED

[darealsaltysam]

how it started VS how it's going

[hearts4golbach]

hihihi i adore ur work and i was wondering if u could do a hippie!reader x johnnie fluff?? mayb like a record store date or something cutesy :3

We Don't Believe What's on TV.

"i don't care what's in your hair, i just wanna know what's on your mind. i used to say i wanna die before i'm old, but because of you, i might think twice."

pairing:

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Hippie!Reader.

a/n:

as requested, hippie reader!

proofread

warnings:

none!

word count:

1.0k

you sifted throughout the stacked records. your boyfriend, Johnnie, stood next to you, trying to find one of your favorite albums. there was a comfortable silence between the two of you.

he pulled out [album] and handed it to you with a sweet smile. "Look at what I found." he handed it to you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.

your jaw dropped as you looked at it in your hands. "you know ive been looking for this album forever! I can't believe you found it,"

"I was so fucking excited whenever I saw it, he responded, turning his attention back to the records.

you smiled, looking at him for a second more before you continued flipping through.

you and Johnnie had planned this date a month in advance. with his busy schedule, it was hard to find time to take you out on a real date. he made you feel loved nonetheless.

the whole afternoon, it'd just be the two of you. there was a picnic blanket in the car, along with a couple of canvases and paint.

Johnnie had been wanting to do the painting trend on tiktok; you switch canvases every 5 minutes or so, and now was finally the chance. excited energy radiated from the both of you. even though you and Johnnie had been dating for over a year now, the honeymoon stage never faded.

you made sure to wear Johnnies favorite outfit of yours. he adored everything you wore. he loved your style in general. he could watch you style outfits for hours, the colors you wore were always so mesmerizing. each time, his stares made you nervous.

you left the shop with two records in hand, which Johnnie had paid for despite your protests.

in the car, Johnnie turned on your shared playlist. it was always so bipolar with your contrasting music tastes, but it was enjoyable anyway. he sang the words to your favorite songs as you did his. you drove to a park right on the outskirts of town.

Johnnie jogged around the car to open the door for you. "thank you, kind sir." you giggled.

"you're welcome, sweetheart." he flashed you a toothy grin.

being 'cringe' with Johnnie was your guys' thing. he loved calling you all of those silly pet names, and you took pride in the fact that you two were the stereotypical 'love bird' couple.

the two of you collected all of the supplied and trudged out into the park.

"im so glad I'm here with you." Johnnie mentioned, holding your one free hand. "it feels like it's been forever since I've gotten to take you on a real date, something other than cuddling and watching a movie with takeout or some shit."

you sighed, taking a step closer to him. "I know. but, it's okay baby." you planted a kiss on his cheek, stumbling over your feet as you tried not to drop the things in your arm. "I love those dates, too."

you laid out the blanket and Johnnie piled all of the painting supplies on top.

Johnnie sat across from you, a love struck look in his eyes that never seemed to leave whenever you were around. he spoke to you about whatever was on his mind: his music, the new Star Wars game, how much he loved your smile. he always found it so easy to talk to you, and you felt the same.

as you squirmed some colors out onto the pallette, you quizzed him on his new music. you practically begged him to show you daily, but he always refused, claiming it'd 'ruin the surprise.' so, as your paintbrush moved gently over the canvas, you gathered whatever information you could about his album (which wasn't very much.) you groaned, making a joke about him cheating on you with his album. you changed the subject, filling him in on co-worker drama. you also asked about how getting his drivers license was going, which he seemed proud to talk about.

finally, the timer went off and you switched paintings. you had painted a night sky, and that was all you had. his beautiful blue eyes were the biggest distraction.

he had illustrated a large, lanky, dead tree. it resembled his shoulder tattoo. you began painting small fairies under the tree as he immediately got back to work, simultaneously talking more in depth about his license.

you updated him on how learning guitar, on his guitar, was going. he gushed about how proud he was, and how he couldn't wait for the two of you to be able to play together. the only reason you hadn't yet was because you wanted to get better before he heard. silence fell between the two of you once more. you listened intently as he hummed, his eyebrows furrowed with concentration. he looked like a painting himself.

you switched off paintings. in your night sky, he had painted a UFO. a goody smile formed on his face whenever he saw your fairies.

he brought up the idea of making a youtube video together. the internet knew you were together, but you kept your relationship private. you had filmed videos with the whol group before, but never just Johnnie. you immediately agreed. word vomit erupted as you told him how excited you were to have two new records for your collection.

you mutually agreed you were ready to go home, seeing as you both were pretty tired and ready to cuddle and watch a movie.

the final painting switch commenced. he had drawn houses in the tree for the fairies, along with where lights strung around it. you had added a cow wearing sunglasses and a tutu under the UFO. you planned to hang both of the paintings up as soon as they were dry.

Johnnie leaned in, placing a long, sensual kiss on your lips. "I love you," he muttered against them with a smile.

you couldn't wait to marry Johnnie someday.

[lieutenantfloyd]

Ensemble Cast

pairing: Platonic! Task Force 141 (+ Alejandro & Rodolfo) x GN! Reader

words: 660

Summary: Hours into a stakeout, your boredom leads you to ask the everyone the classic hypothetical question, “If they were to make a movie about us, what actor would you want to play you?”

warnings: Lots of fluff and dialogue, found family trope, mentions of injuries, and an implication of angst.

a/n: MW2 is the ultimate found family story, change my mind.

Running your fingers along the edge of the map, your watch caught your eye. 5:14am, the bold digital numerals taunted. you pushed back from the table and made your way across the small room. You quickly scanned for an open spot to sit before finding one along the wall. Settling in with the group, you fought the urge to sigh. Stakeouts, while typically easy work, were never something you particularly enjoyed. A welcome break from the firefight you had been active in the past few weeks, yes, but nonetheless almost entirely boring.

You had been with them for what felt like forever and had long considered the group more like a band of brothers than a task force. Yet even the closest groups of people are bound to experience a lapse in conversation when stuck in a room together for hours on end. Unsurprisingly, a hush had fallen over most of the group more than a few hours ago. Like Ghost, you were more than comfortable with a bit of silence. But as the ninth hour of the stakeout came to a close, you couldn’t help but ignore your growing itch for conversation.

“If they were to make a movie about us, what actor would you want to play you?”

The question escaped you almost absentmindedly. The result of your brain slipping into semi-auto pilot. The words simultaneously cut Soap’s quiet one-sided ramblings short and introduced a bit of spirit and levity to everyone. You felt the room fall into a moment of quiet consideration, as the men began using the same war strategist intensity that was hard wired into their brains to figure out what Hollywood star they felt was most like themselves. Hypotheticals were a more than welcome break from going over the intel for the umpteenth time, or worse, being forced to listen to the vocalization of whatever popped into Soap’s mind.

With a groan, Captain price shifted his position in the stiff plastic chair he occupied. Trading his relaxed posture for sitting at attention in anticipation of everyone’s answer. A few moments passed before he spoke up. “Easy. Hugh Grant.” He started before taking a dramatic drag from his cigar. “A classic British gentleman after my own heart.”. Even through the darkness, you could see the playful glint in his eye. Price’s answer earned a range of amusement from the group and a full-bodied laugh from soap. “I’d want either James Mcavoy or… that guy from Game of Thrones.” Soap grinned. “Jon Snow!” Gaz snorted. “For me..” He started ”I know he’s not an actor, but I’ve been mistaken for Lewis Hamilton once or twice before, so probably him. What about you, Alejandro?” “I’d play myself. Why hire an actor when you can have the real thing?” Alejandro chimed in. “¿Y usted?” Alejandro said, elbowing Rodolfo. “No estoy seguro… ¿Maybe Mario Lopez?” “¡Vaya! Looks like Rudy’s feeling confident!” Alejandro chuckled, earning a smile and a slightly bashful look from Rudy. “What about you, LT?” Simon simply shrugged. Clearly not impressed by the current conversation. “Well. we could always dress up one of those twelve foot skeleton decorations and have you do the voiceover.” Soap snickered.

A moment passed before everyone, Simon included, burst into laughter.

Seeing everyone fall apart to such a dumb joke left you giggling right along with them, almost unable to contain yourself.

For years you found it strange how much joy you felt in moments like this—sitting in a dark and musty shack, laughing and cracking jokes alongside your rag tag group of soldiers. Yet you couldn't ignore how these moments brought up a near forgotten sensation; a syrupy sweetness in your chest. A feeling synonymous with those of love and what it meant to finally belong somewhere. The feeling of finally finding a family. Because what is a family, if not a cast of characters - often beaten, more than a little broken, and almost always bloody - who still choose to form glimmers of light in a world of dark?

[sugudoe]

hi there cutie i hope you’re well! i was hoping i could get a jjk match-up? PRETTY PLEASE AND THANK YOU ❤️

- i’m pretty short, 155cm 🫣 and on the curvier side. i like to wear heels for this reason lmaoo

- i’ve always wanted to be one of those mysterious girlies who have an intense aura and makes others wonder what’s going on inside their head, but i’m too loud, bubbly and expressive to be anything like that 😔

- i’m not a shy person by any means, i love meeting new people and making friends always came easy to me. i can talk someone’s ear off about any and everything, even i’ve only known them for 5 minutes 😭 i’d like to be more reserved in that sense but ITS SO HARD bc i like to say what’s on my mind and always feel the need to put my 2cents in every topic even if no one asked.

- i make myself giggle with my own jokes.

- have been told that being around me can feel like such a ‘rush’ due to how lively and chirpy i am. i try to hold myself back bc i don’t like overwhelming people.

- really into makeup and fashion, and in general just always making sure i look my best. i’ve been told my hair and eyes are my best features.

- i can be a bit of an airhead sometimes, most of the time. i trip over air, have butterfingers, i could be looking for something only for that thing to have been in my hand the whole time, that sort of stuff 😪

- i like collecting plushies, especially cute foodie ones!

- i’m a violinist. when i play, it’s the only time i feel like i have my shit together 🤩

- i love anything taro flavoured; drinks, steamed buns, cakes, etc..

- i buy fresh flowers every week bc they’re pretty and bring life into any room/space 🌸

THATS ENOUGH IM SORRY super keen to see who you pair me with me! 🙈💕

OHH, HIII!! i’ve been waiting to do yours since the ask you send me, yayyyy!!!

•⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝘨𝘰𝘫𝘰 ៹ ༉‧₊˚

everyone in jujutsu tech knew that the universe was against them, not because they are sorceress and their life will be short, is more for the fact that you and gojo satoru met, and it became everyone’s problem.

the moment gojo sat by your side, he a second year and you a first, he barely introduced himself before shifting his attention to your heels as part of your uniform.

“how do you run from a curse with this shoes?” he asks.

“i’ll show you.” you got up from the bench and started to run. he was impressed, but thought he could do better.

few hours later, returning from a shopping spree sponsored by the gojo clan, you both are running in stilettos on school ground. sorry to say it, but he won the race.

you can try to be a mysterious girl, and it can work the first few minutes with your friends and strangers, but never with satoru. one look at you, and he knows what you’re thinking. both of you develop this head and eye signs to understand each other, and it creeps geto and nanami a lot.

satoru loves to have you rambling whatever it’s on your mind. you read a newspaper about a random topic, such as the eldest animal alive, and somehow you will start to talk as if you personally knew the creature. gojo, always enchanted, will encourage it.

if no one asks, he does.

gojo knew he had to have you, and so he did. now, years later, when adulthood has reached, the male is still as devoted to you and your babbling as he was before.

you don’t think there has been a day you held yourself back from talking. on your first week living together in a penthouse, gojo came home tired from a mission, you kept yourself quiet while hugging him, until he tugged you along to the bathroom.

“talk to me.” he says while starting his shower, you sat on the floor while whispering of your week, and when gojo was drying himself you were already explosive yapping about anything and him mimicking you.

you’re his energy.

gojo loves to see you walking around barefoot, he is reminded of his first time seeing it. how short you became right away, how he laughed at your cuteness. you told him that it’s not big deal, he is taller than anyone no matter what. but, it’s you — his favorite person in the world, barely reaching his chest.

when you play violin and he is at the house, you know he will drop anything to come your way and sit, staring at you until your cheeks grow red and you have to pause your playing to beg him to stop.

“i’m not doing anything.” he raises his hand, innocent eyes and devilish smirk. “just appreciating the show.

so, you will play again, not daring to look at him but feeling all his six eyes on you. devoted.

a good word to express satoru’s love for you — it’s always for you, always has been and will be.

──── 𓇼 ° ⋆ FUN FACTS ᵎᵎ

۫ ּ ﹗satoru loves that he knows you better than no one, and the best way he found to prove that to himself, others and you is by spoiling. he randomly picks you up from your job and takes you to the mall, anything you stare for more than five seconds will be bought. usually those things are high heels, clothes and makeup.

۫ ּ ﹗you both know he doesn’t need you that to buy it, he knows you’d style and what compliments you the most, and vice versa as well. whenever you both go out to a fancy place, all eyes are on you. two pretty bad bitches.

۫ ּ ﹗weekly dates are a requirement, they aren’t usually fancy, because you both rather be somewhere allowed to be a little weird and loud. so, cute bakeries and picnics are a must. he always buys you the taro flavored, he also likes to ask to taste only to say it sucks.

۫ ּ ﹗you and gojo have a little play fight every week, both coming home with bouquets and trying to out-stand the other. satoru mostly looses, but every month he comes home with the flowers, a taro drink and a new plushie to your collection, so he wins.

۫ ּ ﹗he is a little shit with your antics. you trip over something and he is there to catch you, saying “did you fall for me?” yes, idiot. and if you are looking for something in your hand, he won’t tell you, he will indulge in it, searching with you. such a bitch.

[belit0]

Hey I love your blog!!!💘💘 💘 if you're still taking requests.. could you write about Madara having lots of kids 😅, I once read a headcanon that he would have five kids and I can't get it out of my head 😭😭💘💘💘

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE!! Of course, I'm still taking requests, feel free to send as many as you want!

I'm so happy you're enjoying my little Uchiha spot💕🤗🤗💫

YES MADARA BEING A FATHER IS ONE OF MY FAV THINGS IN THE WORLD

- Madara with 5 children is A REALITY. Internally he tries to resurrect the image of family he had before getting dragged to war as a child, and give his kids a life not tainted by blood and death.

- He decides to have a family once peace is a fact, no other way around it. When he understands his children will not be in danger of being killed as soon as they set foot outside the clan, the time is right.

- 4 boys and 1 girl.

- First pregnancy comes with a son. The eldest remains an only child for about two years, and the Uchiha spoils him for being his first. The boy goes with dad everywhere, attends all the meetings with Hashirama, and they spend a lot of time in the garden looking at the flowers.

- Second pregnancy comes in a pair. The twins destroy family harmony but inaugurate a new dynamic. Madara can't pamper all three of them at the same time, so their uncle Izuna, mostly, takes care of these two. They spend more time with their father's brother than anything else, following him around and even helping him with his practical jokes on Tobirama. When Madara catches them red-handed, he scolds all three of them equally, as if Izuna were his son as well.

- By the fourth, the first three brothers are a few years older, so they help with his upbringing. Madara follows him closely and personally trains him like the rest of his sons. He and his father love to enjoy a cup of tea on rainy afternoons, while the other children play in the mud. This one being much calmer than the rest of his family, the Uchiha finds with his fourth son a connection of peace and harmony. He soon becomes his right-hand man.

- The fifth changes gender and is the first female in the family. She quickly becomes Daddy's princess and gains all of his undivided attention. The fourth child gets jealous, but Uncle Izuna helps to calm the waters, distracting the other siblings while Dad takes it upon himself to shower his newborn with love.

- Soon, all her older siblings are extremely protective of her, with a total of six personal bodyguards if you add dad, her uncle, and the rest of the children. She grows up away from war and fighting, as the princess of the clan, protected by all the men in her life.

A small scene of love, family, and happiness!

Madara accepts the cup of tea his fourth son hands him, filled to the brim with hot liquid. The boy is becoming more and more skilled at preparing the drink, and this makes him deeply proud. They share a relaxed chat while his daughter, at his back, braids his hair, filling it with flowers Uncle Izuna picked for her from his garden.

Outside a deluge is falling, from which the three of them are sheltered inside their home. Madara watches the water fall as the twins fight with Izuna in the rain. The two managed to convince the younger Uchiha to train them personally, and he did not make it easy for them. Under the terrible weather, they move back and forth, soaking wet and giggling as Madara hides his own smile in the hot drink.

His eldest son concentrates in a corner of the room, reading a book written by Madara himself. It recounts the history of the clan, the wars fought, and all the leaders of the clan, all the way back to the founder, Indra. The Uchiha is comforted to know all his offspring have passion and joy, focus, and determination to achieve things. That they will grow up as children, just as they should be, and not surrounded by death and destruction.

Somehow, the image he finds himself part of reminds him of his childhood. Those moments of false peace before his father dragged him and his brothers onto the battlefield, losing three of them along the way. He knows his own siblings would enjoy family life as much as he does today, and that he would watch them play and tease his kids just as Izuna does.

[damagedintellect]

Craig Tucker x Fem!reader

💌 Craig Tucker is a mother fucker: Chapter 4  💌  

Summary:  You want to say that it wasn't your fault buuuuuut it kinda was. You didn't think much of it as you casted your joke vote for the "Hottest guy in school" and in hindsight you should never listen to Clyde but it was pretty funny at the time. Craig just wanted a peaceful junior year and you can't blame him for that however waking up the morning after a party, in his bed, being told that you two were dating wasn't exactly your definition of peaceful either.

Notes:  I was always too scared of the fandom to post it back in the day but I wrote this before Creek was made canon so let's just say Craig is bi for my sake because I've had a huge crush on him since forever. My S/O pointed out that Craig is just Trafalgar Law but with a guinea pig instead of a polar bear and I haven't been the same since I have a type and it's them.

💌 Word count: 3,046 💌  <= Previous | Chapter 5 =>

It's been about a month now and you have made no progress what so ever. Every time you try to talk to Stan something always happens to prevent you from even getting the words out. It's been frustrating to deal with but at least the never ending commotion and rumors about you have subsided, which was nice. However you can't say the same for Craig. You don't really know much about what was being said. All you know is ever since he came back to school after getting better he'd become super irritable and a beckon of unwanted attention. You found it funny because it didn't bother you. It was nothing new being that you both were always at each other's throats but it clearly was getting to everyone else. Clyde has cried 3 times this week alone. Poor Clyde.

You put some books in your locker and walked down the hall. The day was already done but you promised Bebe to help her with something, super vague. She didn't give you much detail at all the only thing she said was Wendy also needed the help and you can't leave your friends in need. You were a good friend. You were on your way to the gym when you saw Craig talking with some girl. You didn't know who she was but you could tell she was crying. His back was facing you but you felt the tension when you passed them. You wondered what happened but kept walking.

Stepping into the gym Wendy and Bebe greeted you, thanking you for coming "(Y/n), glad you could make it!" apparently you weren't the only one they called over to help. There were a group of girls sitting on the bleachers. Bebe and Wendy were wearing their cheer uniforms and they were giving you that look. The one they give you when, "Oh no" you only now realized what was going on. You had turned to leave but it was too late Wendy grabbed your wrist and Bebe giggled "You make this too easy, you'd think by now you'd see this coming." They led you over to the bench and got everyone settled in. It was cheer tryouts, they were making you try out for cheer. You didn't bother fighting it, you gave in but only for the moment you didn't want to make a scene in front of the newbies. They taught everyone a quick routine and gave you guys a few minutes to practice at your own pace before they would put you in groups to begin the actual tryouts. You took the down time to argue with them.

"I hope you know, no matter what happens I'm turning you guys down right?" you made yourself very clear that they wouldn't be able to get you this time. Bebe looks at Wendy who cleared her throat "That's fine but hear us out." you fold your arms but let them continue "You wouldn't have to be a permanent member." you were confused. "Wouldn't have to?" they were giving you options? Wendy looked at Bebe to help her out "It's more like we want you as an understudy? I guess?"

"You wouldn't need to come to every practice but if someone gets an injury we'd ask you to help fill in, or if there was an event that you wanted to do you could substitute in." you were even more confused "Okay, but like why me? Why not someone who's actually auditioning?" Bebe nervously laughs and speaks before Wendy gets the chance "Word on the street is at your last school you were on the school's dance squad." Wendy looks at her confused and Bebe avoids giving either of you eye contact.

"Annnnd Bebe said your crush is on the football team so what better way to get their attention than being a cheerleader!" you froze glaring at Bebe "I-I..." you trailed off. This was so stupid. "(Y/n) you know you could have told me you had a crush on Kyle." you take that back now this is stupid. You were going to murder Bebe "I-I... well you see it's-" Wendy laughed she thought it was cute that you were getting flustered talking about your so called crush "You know when Bebe told me who it was everything made a lot of sense . That's what you've been trying to ask Stan about for the past few weeks right?"

"Huh?" you have no idea what she's talking about. You should have just played along to what Wendy was saying. "You were going to ask Stan to help you out with your crush right? I could always ask him to put in a good word for you if you'd like?"

"It's not like it's that big of a deal to me, I'm not that desperate. Personally I like being single." Wendy tilted her head "That's not what it sounded like a few weeks ago."

"That was- I only said that because-" you swear under your breath and stare at Bebe hoping she would help you out considering she's the one who got you into this mess. "Craig! All the rumors with Craig. Right (Y/n)?" you clapped your hands together "Y-yes! That's right I was worried about the rumors but they've calmed down now." Wendy gave you a reassuring look and put a hand on your shoulder "Are you sure? Stan probably wouldn't mind at all." You waved your hands around frantically "No, no! That's fine, this is something that I have to do for myself. I'll be your guys understudy just please promise you won't tell anybody!" she extends her pinky "Pinky promise." you shake her pinky and they continue the try outs. You could breathe easy for the moment but you stare at Bebe.

As soon as it was over you were given the schedule, your pom poms and uniform. The practices didn't start for at least another few weeks which meant you had just enough time to figure out how to get out of the fresh hell Bebe dropped you in. Bebe changed out of uniform and tried to sneak off without you but you were waiting outside the door for her.

"Where do you think you're going!" she turned around and jumped "(Y-Y/n) f-fancy seeing you here." you stepped in front of her "Like hell it is. What was that all about." she sighed as you both walked to the parking lot "It's not my fault, I swear. Apparently Stan asked Wendy about you because you were acting weird and I tried covering for you but then Wendy pushed the matter and I had to give her a name and Kyle was the most believable." when you both got to the parking lot you saw Clyde leaning against his car while Craig was laying across his tailgate. Clyde opened the Door for Bebe "Your chariot M'Lady." he winked at her and she kissed his cheek. Craig slowly got up and raised an eyebrow at you while he put the tailgate up "Wow how desperate can they be to let you be a cheerleader. You're more of a faller than a flyer, don't you think?" he let you get in first and you groaned "I was blackmailed to do it asshat." slouching you crossed your arms "Something something Bebe can't keep a secret." You said very irritated at Bebe's actions.

"Listen if you would have made a move by now you wouldn't be in this mess." you rolled your eyes. "Yeah well I've been trying I just keep getting interrupted." Clyde pulled into his driveway. You guys had planned to hang out and play some games today. Clyde let you all in and set up smash bros "If it helps I could always throw a party this weekend?" he plugs in the adapter for you to plug in your game cube controller. he thought it over in his head.

"Scratch that, I NEED to throw a party this weekend."

---

The next day started off pretty average until your math class. Before class officially started Wendy and Stan came up to talk to you. "No. Wendyyyyyyy" you whined at her already knowing she broke her promise "You said you wouldn't tell. You pinky promised!" Stan laughed awkwardly "She didn't- I mean if it helps, I guessed it and she said I was right." you opened up your composition book putting your head down in it "I said I wanted to handle it." Wendy pats your head "I know, but Clyde's throwing a party tomorrow and you should ask him to take you."

"Not going to happen." you pushed her hand away and looked up at them. Stan turned away slowly scratching his bottom lip "We kinda told him you wanted to talk to him after class at his locker." you sat up straight "Oh my god you've got to be kidding me." The teacher motioned for everyone to take their seats. This couldn't get any worse. Now you'd have to tell Kyle some lie about how- actually you have no idea what Stan could have told him. You doubt that he said anything too specific. Maybe he just said you wanted to talk and you could ask him about something completely off topic. That was your plan anyways, it wasn't much but it was something. You'd handle the party as it comes you just wanted to get through this week. After class you headed over to Kyle's locker. He was already waiting for you.

"Hey Kyle,-" you were about to ask what Stan had even told him but he cut you off pretty quick and apologized. "I'm sorry (Y/n), I really am. It's not that you're not cool or attractive. I like someone else." you released the breath you didn't even know you were holding, that was a relief. "Oh thank god. That makes this easier." Kyle looked confused but you explained "Wendy and Stan got the wrong idea off of some off handed comment I made and just assumed that it was you I had a crush on. I was coming here to clear the air." Kyle nodded slowly "To be completely honest I thought you were dating Craig." you sighed "Nope not dating him, but most people seem to think so." speaking of Craig he was walking kind of fast in your direction. He kept looking over his shoulder. Kyle smiled now that he knew it was just a misunderstanding "Thanks for not making this a big deal, I guess I'll see you around." Kyle and you parted ways. You were glad at least something seemed to fix itself. You were still going to get back at Bebe but right now you wanted to know what was up with Craig. He looked like he was running away from someone.

Weird.

You're not sure why but you tried to follow him, morbid curiosity? Somehow you lost track of the tall mother fucker. The hallway you were in was empty, literally how did you get here. You turn the corner once more and you quickly hide the way you came but peak around the corner. It was Wendy and Stan and they were kissing. A part of you kind of knew but it still hurts that you couldn't do a thing about it. You took off again trying to get back to the main hallway. On your way back you decide to go to the cafeteria instead of looking for Craig.

"Sup guys." you sit down at the usual table. Bebe smirked at you "Where have you been, we thought you would've been with Craig." You glared at her "If you must know I was being turned down by my crush." You used air quotes when you said crush. "Oof that's rough buddy but you know what that means?" you look at Clyde and shrug "What?"

"It means my party is the perfect opportunity for you to get shit faced." Bebe patted your back "He's right you know. You need to treat yo self and not care about anything for a night. You've been stressing a lot lately haven't you?" you put your head down but narrowed your eyes at her "Gee, I wonder why."

You had checked out of the conversation for a while as everyone talked about the party preparations. Maybe Bebe was right. You had been trying too hard if something was meant to happen it probably would have happened by now. The rest of the day was pretty chill since you were just going through the motions. You did receive a text from Wendy asking how everything with Kyle went and you told her you were turned down. She suggested that you guys take a girls night at the party, get wasted and stay over at Bebe's afterwards. Which didn't sound like a terrible idea. You've always kind of been a goodie goodie and look where that's gotten you. One night won't ruin your life right.

Right?

---

Bebe told Clyde that she would be helping you get ready and would not be able to help with setting up the party. He didn't mind since it gave him some more guy time. Wendy and Bebe came over to help you do your hair make-up and helped pick your outfit. Which was nice of them especially since they pretty much forced you to confess to your so called crush and it backfired. Needless to say this was the least they could do. You wouldn't usually dress up like this you were showing a little more skin than you normally do but you did feel pretty at the least. A little slutty but there was nothing wrong with that, you still felt very pretty.

Once you got to the party Wendy and Bebe took your phone and house keys. "I guess we take turns making sure you don't get in too much trouble and then head back to my place later." Bebe was going over the plan as you guys made your way to the refreshments you looked at the spread of alcohol. "So what should be my plan of attack?" you've only ever had a sip from drinks, you've never actually gotten smashed before. Wendy looks to Bebe and back to you "I'd say pick one thing and just drink that throughout the night. If you mix to many drinks on your first time you'll end up getting sick." Bebe nodded but added on "Mostly don't mix beer with liquor. Liquor before beer you're in the clear, beer before liquor never sicker." she poured all of you some shots "Typically I drink a few shots and then switch to beer it's easier to keep the buzz but for you I think you should stick with tequila. It has less calories than vodka and it's more of an upper than a downer." you all clink your drinks and shoot it back. It's not the worst thing in the world but you'd definitely have to get used to the taste. Wendy grabbed you a water "Also be sure to drink water or else you'll just end up with a headache before you even get tipsy"

"Dooley noted." you guys had a few more drinks before going about the party. You didn't feel any different but Wendy said that you will eventually just try to pace yourself. Wendy ended up leaving you two after a few more people showed up. You noticed that Stan was one of those people. You shake your head not tonight, this was your night. You and Bebe danced a bit before you guys found your way to Clyde, Token and Craig.

"Wow you both look stunning." Clyde said motioning for you guys to sit down with them. Token and Craig were playing Mario Kart but Token was chugging a beer despite the race already starting. You pointed at them and quirked an eyebrow and Clyde laughed "Oh they're playing Beeriokart. You can't drink and drive so you either slam your drink at the beginning or have to keep stopping to drink, but you have to finish your drink by the end of the race." You looked over to Bebe and smiled "That actually sounds hilarious." you totally want to race Bebe like this. Clyde pointed over to Craig who had a pretty big lead "Although Craig decided he's not drinking tonight so he chugged a sprite instead. I still don't know how he managed to do it." Craig finished in 1st and shrugged, "It's just carbonation."

You and Bebe joined in but instead Bebe poured a line of shots and some water you had to finish. A few games later you were pleasantly tipsy. You weren't even sure you were doing that well in Mario kart but you didn't care, you were having fun. You didn't even notice that Bebe and Clyde had disappeared. You handed your controller off and decided to walk about the party. You were definitely feeling the drinks now. You went back to the group that was blasting music and dancing. You were having a good time, this is what you needed. You needed a night to let your hair down, dress up and dance your drunken ass off.

That's when untouched by the veronica's came on. You fucken love that song! You stood up on the table and started lip syncing continuing to dance. This song fits your situation well enough, this shit was therapeutic. A lot of people cheered for you as you started to move a little more seductively. The song was called untouched it's pretty par for the course. You were bouncing around moving your hips and flipping your hair all sexy like, what could you say it was a good song to dance too when you hit that drunk confidence. Nearing the end of the song you've accumulated quite the group. You were singing along pretty loud and you're sure someone was recording you but you didn't care, you felt good.

"Been going crazy from the moment I met youu~"

You slipped, you were going too ham with the dancing. You tried to find your balance but instead of falling forward you forced your heel down but you were on the edge of the table and fell backwards.

"Not again"

[mara-and-its-the-same]

Room 217

Steve and his girlfriend just having a lovely moment in a hotel. Lots of banter, lots of teasing, every old woman wants Steve to propose, like yesterday, and John Mellencamp. CWs: No y/n, reader uses she/her pronouns and there are no descriptions besides wet hair. Old ladies being weird, mentions of skiing and they have a dog. Some references to the shining as well, also I've never been to colorado so if i get the 2 things I said about it wrong you have my endless apologies. If I missed anything, let me know and I'll add it here, also if you're any kind if enby and you would rather this with any other pronouns, as a fellow gender blender demifemme feels right atm, I'm more than happy to oblige and repost with whatever you'd prefer.

March, 1992

Steve thought he’d pay a visit to the nice ladies in the mailroom that afternoon after work, he’d been having a pretty good day so far, why not share the joy? “Hello, ladies. How’s today been treatin’ you two?” he asked them over the counter.

“Not too busy, thank you for asking. Always so charming isn’t he?” Mrs. Smith asked Mrs. Lowe, both their white hairs deflating by now from the curled, permed coifs they shaped and gelled and sprayed every morning. 

“Oh yes, oh, and Steve, we saw your girl this morning. Looking lovely as ever.”

“Mhm, we saw her, but no ring.” Mrs. Smith reminded him again, twisting her own 2 carat diamond around her finger. Just 2 weeks ago she told him the whole story about it, how Mr. Smith scrimped and saved for ages to afford it, including selling his favorite tractor, to which they both side eyed his BMW through the window. 

“Oh, Deirdre, didn’t you see her with a ring catalog this morning?” Mrs. Lowe asked her, both of them poorly hiding their schemes. 

“I do think I did. I’d take notice of these things if I were you, Steve. How long have you been together again?”

“I’ve known her for 9 years, we’ve been together for 5, Mrs. Smith.” He wasn’t hurt by them asking again, in fact he expected it, as much as his tone expressed it. “And yes, I do notice, which is why I’ve been coming home so late these last few days, I need a bit more than 30 hours a week to afford this place and a ring.”

He saw the sneaky smiles on their faces as they wheeled around in their office chairs to get his mail. A few deliveries and a blush colored envelope with a floral postage stamp in the corner, a wax seal on the front. “Ooh, a wedding invitation?” Mrs. Lowe teased.

Steve nodded as he read the return address, “Looks like it’s from her cousin.” He checked his wrist watch and realized his girlfriend must have been expecting him, “I better be going, don’t want to be late for dinner.”

“Oh, you two going out?”

“No, staying in tonight, making risotto.”

Mrs. Smith gasped, “My recipe?”

“I think so.”

“Oh you watch out for that one, Steve, I used that recipe once and 9 months later I had Joey and Hannah,” Mrs. Lowe added.

Steve huffed a laugh. “You are bad.”

“Watch it Harrington.” “It’s very easy for mail to get lost down here.” “Packages stolen,” they joked back before waving him upstairs and calling for him to send their hellos to his girl. 

“Hey, gorgeous, where you at?” He finally got to the fifth floor and held the door open with his foot while he took the keys out of the knob. “We got a fuck ton of mail.”

But he didn’t see any sign of her or their dog, Leo, a big black lab, anywhere. “Babe?” He walked further into the kitchen of their cramped apartment. Leo’s leash was gone too, but there was a scratchy note left on the counter, probably left in a rush accounting for the scribbly handwriting. 

Hello my love, I hope you had a wonderful day. I was going to wait for you but Leo got antsy so I’m taking him for a walk. We’ll be back by 6:30 I promise —xoxo 

It was already 6:25, and by the time he was worried enough to grab his sweatshirt and go out to look for her, there was already an incessant scratching at the door and a giggle of ‘I’m trying, I’m trying. Relax buddy, I gotta get my keys.’ 

It clearly sounded like a struggle, Steve assumed her keys must have been deeper in her pocket than she remembered. He could have waited and let her unlock the door herself, but the excitement to see her was too much to bear. Also because he didn’t want any complaints from the landlord about scratched paint on the door. 

He heard her surprised little gasp when the handle turned from the other side, ‘Is Stevie home?’ He heard Leo make some sound like E.T. would have made in response, as well as the slamming of his tail on her leg.

“It’s 6:30.”

“What? No ‘hello’? No ‘how are you my beautiful, gorgeous, angel of a darling? Every hour in your absence has been agony.’ And here I was, thinking you were such a romantic.” She hung the leash up while Leo was shoving himself against Steve’s leg to get more attention and pets. She was about to walk out of the teeny tiny foyer after taking her shoes off but Steve caught her by the arm before she got the chance. Leo got out of the way while he pulled her shoulder into his chest, both hands on the other one furthest from him. 

“Hello,” and she expected his usual schtick of saying everything she said back to her, a little teasing but she could always hear the truth underneath. “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”

“Steve,” she groaned and pushed him off of her and into the coats, “You’re supposed to love me, not kill me. I don’t even have six fingers on my right hand.” She got louder as she walked further away, “And besides, you’re much more of a Westley anyway.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“How so? Wait, farm boy Westley or Pirate Westley?”

“Oh, Pirate Westley, definitely.”

He silently shooed her out of the kitchen and fed Leo before washing his hands and starting on their own dinner while she explained.

“I don’t know, you just love too much to be an Inigo, too smart to be him, also you know I love you but you have like zero loyalty to your father and you shouldn’t anyway, so definitely a Westley.”

“Like I’d carry you through the fire swamp and everything?”

“And everything.” Leo laid at her feet while she went through the mail on the couch, sinking deep into the cushions that were probably older than her since it was a hand-me-down from Hopper when he moved in with Joyce at the same time they moved into their apartment. A sparkling seal caught her eye. “A wedding invitation?”

“I was waiting for you to open it, I think it’s from your cousin.”

“Hm. Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Deanna Sampson cordially invite you to a renewal of their vows, the 12th of December, 1992, Colorado Springs, Colorado. It’s at a hotel, like the Shining.”

“Oh that cousin?” The renewal of vows is what caught his attention. “Must be a small venue then.”

“Not funny, Steven,” she didn’t take her eyes off her lap where she flipped through the details of the invitation but the slight quirk of her lip that Steve was always able to clock betrayed her amusement. A wedding with ample opportunity for skiing, her cousin’s husband, and now by extension her cousin, are kind of rich, at least his family is, so they're renting the biggest, nicest, fanciest lodge for the day and having the wedding and reception there. “I’d totally have a small wedding first with just the people I want there then a bigger one for all the people that are mad they didn’t make the cut.”

“Who’d be at this wedding? The small one.”

“Dustin, Eddie, Robin, the kids, Joyce and Hopper, and maybe my parents, I haven't decided.”

He knew he was pushing his luck asking this, but the ladies of the mail room planted a strong idea in his head and he just couldn’t let it go. “I’m not there?” but he stayed facing the near boiling pot.

“I thought you were a given,” She said so casually. Only looking at him when the clatter of the spoon falling on the floor pulled her attention his way. They’d discussed it before, in passing mostly. Saying a marriage and a family is something they both want, but he’d never heard her say it like that. Like marrying him is the only option she’d ever choose. Like he’s always going to be the obvious choice. “So we’re going?”

“Hm?”

“To the wedding?”

“Oh, yeah, of course. Deanna’s the best.”

December, 1992

They arrived two days before the wedding, Steve wanted to get more use out of his skis. She liked them because the bottoms were bright pink and she could find him anywhere. Checking in was a bear though. The mailroom part 2 for him since y/n was at a payphone to check in with Dustin about Leo.

“How can I help you, sir?” The woman who looked to be around Joyce’s age asked.

“Uh, I’d like to check in, please. Should be under Harrington.”

She scrolled through the system to find it, “Oh yes, you’re here for the wedding? Bride or groom?”

“Bride, she’s cousins with my-”

“You’re wife? I’ll get you an extra key then, one for both of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Enjoy your stay, room 217.”

“Thank you.”

***

“God, I’m exhausted.” Y/n threw herself down on the bed, wet hair and all. Everything about this room was so much bigger than their apartment. The bed, the bathtub; the kitchen was smaller though, but there was a much bigger space as a sort of living room. The fake fire was going and the tv above it was stuck on one of those MTV channels, the ones that only play music with slideshows of various album covers, because they couldn’t figure out the remote. She called the lobby about it and found Steve must have made quite an impression in the few days they’ve been there. “Hi, we’re in room 217, our remote kind of broke and it’s stuck on one channel.” “217, hmm… Oh you must be Steve’s wife, he’s quite the charmer down here.” “He usually is. Um, is there anyone who can help us with this?” “Unfortunately not at the moment, but we can send someone up first thing in the morning, just give us a ring and we’ll send maintenance right up there.” “Will do, thank you.” “Mhm, have a lovely night Mrs. Harrington.” “You as well.”

Steve came out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam surrounding him and a fluffy, white towel around his hips. “Steve?”

“Hm?” But his main focus was on digging through his drawers for pajamas.

“Have you been telling everyone in the lobby I’m your wife?”

He quickly straightened with his sweatpants clutched tight to his chest. “No-uh…no. They just assumed and, y’know like, who’d pass up a chance to have such a total knockout babe for a wife, right? So I just-didn’t correct them.”

“Mhm,” the look in her eyes feigned skepticism, but she really didn’t mind, she thought it was cute. “Can’t flirt your way out of this one, Harrington.”

“No flirting, just truthing.” He knew even that wouldn’t save him from his fate, her thinking he’s such a dork and then most likely going home to tell Robin all about it. He needed to think fast before she rolled over on the bed and picked up the phone to dial Robin’s number, he thought he could see her fingers already twitching in its direction. The song changed and while the intro played and he rushed to get dressed, inspiration struck. He held his hand out for her hoping she’d get the hint. 

“What?”

“Come dance with me.”

“This is hardly a danceable song,” she swung her legs over the side. 

“It’s John Mellencamp, of course it’s danceable.” Steve pulled her up by the hand even though she was already going to walk over. 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Sh, sh, sh, let me listen.” He held their joined hands in the air, her left in his right, and his other was on her waist, swaying side to side and rotating around in a circle.

“You dance like such a dad,” she half whispered, half giggled.

“I’m a great dancer.”

“I never said you weren’t.”

“Could you listen to the song please, they’re like us,” and he started mouthing the words out with his breath.

A little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane; Two American kids growing up in the heart land

“Steve, we’re from Indiana.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“That’s not the heartland.”

“I’m pretty sure the heartland is all of the midwest.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Jack, he's gonna be a football star; Diane's debutante, backseat of Jacky's car

“You played basketball and swam, those are like the furthest things from football.”

“You’re really draining all the fun out of this,” but she could feel the rumbles of his laugh with her ear pressed to his sternum. 

“And I’m not a debutante and we’ve never done anything in the back of your car.”

“The point that you’re purposely missing is that they’re in love.”

“I know they’re in love, but I’m in love-er with you.”

“Is that the right way to say that? Not ‘more in love?’”

“Well now look who’s being willingly obtuse.”

“I’m not obtuse, you’re obtuse.”

“I’m not obtuse, I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too.” He rested his head on top of hers, his eyes stuck on her bare fingers. “But those things can coexist.”

“Steve!”

This was not a request but I thought of it at work because all we listen to is fm radio and everyday John Tesh makes me want to strangle myself with receipt paper. But I had the idea and I thought it was cute, and as always, it got way out of hand. So here, have my first complete Steve Harrington one shot <3

Tagging some babes because I love you and I want to annoy you all @beezywriting @haydipoof @sw34terw34ther @esperisdrunkinwonderland @avipoof @loving-and-dreaming @katsu28 @manyfandomsfanvergent and if i think of anyone else and they don't get to this before I get to them <3

[sleketon666]

Hiii! Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this to ten of your favourite followers!

Oh hii! Thank you for the tag🌸

1. My sense of humor. I love making my friends and generally people around me laugh and smile and I'm happy to say that most of the time I'm successful at doing so😼😼 if the joke doesn't land - that's fine too, I'm my own target audience anyway

2. It's also very easy to make me laugh. It's been a bit of a problem sometimes during classes when I need to be serious but all I wanna do is giggle bc my friend is looking at me funny. But you know, when you spend most of your childhood and teenage years feeling miserable like I did, you start to appreciate every moment of your own laughter and smiles. Feels like a great progress for me

3. Gifts that I make. I'm that type of a person who loves giving gifts. When I make one for a big celebration, I try my best to make it as thoughtful and detailed as possible. And I love spending money on my friends too!! So imagine my struggle when a person I like does not enjoy receiving gifts. Like I respect you, your feelings and boundaries but wdym I can't spoil you? 😭😭

4. My taste in music. Music is very important to me, as a person who daydreams 24/7. I can't live a day without my headphones, honestly. I listen to a lot of different songs, but my preference mostly goes to energetic, loud and fast music. Will Wood is the most perfect example. Some people find my taste in music odd, but it's literally like a compliment to me tbh

5. Okay, this one is a little different - I like my hands. I love wearing many rings and I like how they make my hands look more elegant. Also I have few little scars on my fingers that I got accidentally and they also are of great significance to me and I love them!! ^^

[harlowhockeystick]

happy new year from sYdney, aus! (Lmao i’m a loser who will never get over that)

i was scrolling thru ur sidney crosby stuff (bc this man has me GRIPPED I’m so embarrassed and obsessed) and I saw some of the teacher!reader stuff and I know most ppl default to like…teacher of young kids but please consider - high school teacher!reader

like yes reader is younger (I’m still thinking of ur age gap!sidney oh lord) but she’s been teaching high schoolers for nearly a decade now. so what if ur 36 and 180cm and a professional goon athlete on the ice. so what if ur shorter than literally all of sid’s teammates. hs teacher!reader has a presence and you WILL listen to her when she tells a room full of adrenaline fuelled hockey players to stop throwing their nasty underarmour clothing at each other for 5 seconds so you can all finish your damn gatorade and HYDRATE, evgeni, you think kidney stones are a joke, do you? or just giving someone the Teacher Look when they’re being a bit too sassy or just casually slotting in to help Dana in the equipment room.

dealing with the media? easy as pie - they’ve got nothing on private school parents who don’t understand why little johnny isn’t in the top class, he just needs to be challenged and extended, don’t you understand that’s why he doesn’t do anything in class, because he’s bored, he’s actually VERY capable! (sidney was shell shocked with a fear boner the first time he hears the tail end of your phone convo to a parent - “unfortunately mr x, i have yet to see any evidence of this, so our decision stands. Have a good day now :)”

the whole hockey schedule? oh lord, reader is a professional at timetable management, don’t you even worry. She’s an excellent coordinator (yes, a shared and colour coded google calendar for her and sidney’s relationship) she understands how both their schedules can be insane, but most importantly understands the importance of work-life balance and setting boundaries for yourself! she helps pull sidney out of his head, reminding him that it’s just as important to take care of himself if he wants to keep taking care of others. she reminds him that it’s okay to be a little bit selfish, and really, that it’s not actually selfish at all to admit to another person how tired and frustrated you are, or to talk about things from years past that you thought you’d gotten over, but no, really, you just buried it for the sake of your team and career.

the whole public persona/reputation vs privacy thing? she totally gets it and understands sidney’s need first privacy. hell, that’s why she so fucking tech savvy - she knows ALL the tips and tricks to keep her socials locked away from prying student and parent eyes. It sparks this sense of safety and security in sidney? like he knows for sure that his privacy is protected, and that he trusts reader so much not to accidentally or not take advantage of his fame and fortune?

uhhhh anyway sidney being in shock-scared-and-horny-awe at your absolute confidence, breadth of knowledge, and commanding yet calm presence despite your age and (comparatively) tiny size. sidney discovers he has a competency kink when you accidentally use your teacher voice on him bc he keeps trying to distract you with kisses and cuddles while ur trying to finish off some marking. like, you stare at him over the top of your glasses and go “sidney crosby, you’ve got two choices right now - you can sit down on the couch in silence and wait literally 10 minutes, or, if you want to continue as you are, one of us is going to sleep in the guest room tonight, so let’s make good choices now, eh?”

he sheepishly goes to the couch and waits for you to sit in his lap after u’re done so you can pepper his shy lil face with kisses, calling him a “ridiculous boy” with such fondness in ur voice it makes him giggle

omg stop i LOVE THIS!!!!!!!

[matenrou-fan]

Hi can you do headcanon with kuko and ichiro with S/O girlfriend but she is 5 years older?

Kuko and ichiro with fem! s/o who's older than them

hii darling, of course I can!! here <3

Femreader, comfort, teasing, swearing (in Kuko's part)

Ichiro:

-Well.. He himself doesn't really mind this age difference, but he's surely a little bit shy about it.

-He will try to be more mature, especially in the beginning of your relationship so please try not to giggle too much, cause sometimes his efforts look too funny..

-"W.. what do you mean?" - he looks at you a little bit confused after you ask him why he is wearing a suit today - "W-well, cause I'm a man now, and.. Hey, stop laughing..!!"

-He's still a little bit naive, but despite he's younger than you, he actually can be very mature and he has a good brains, so it's not even noticeable that you are of different ages.

-After all, he's not only a big brother, but almost a father for Jiro and Saburo, and being with you makes him try to grow up even more.

-But sometimes he.. he will be more sensitive and submissive than usual, seeing you almost like a mother figure.

-Not in some cringe or disgusting way, he just needs some care and love sometimes too. He's sure having a lot of affection from his brother but from you, his dear girlfriend.. it's different.

-So if you would pamper him a little sometimes, or just be really attentive to his needs, his heart would melt.

-Talking with you about his problems makes him feel better, as you are the only person who he can vent to. You can give him some new viewpoints on things, and he will carefully listen to you, thinking you have more life experience than him.

-And of course he's always ready to listen to your troubles too! After all, he's the proprietor of Odd Jobs Yamada, he is always helping people, so helping you, the love of his life, is one of his responsibilities.

-"Oh. So you're saying that you have troubles at work now? Hm.." - Ichiro closed his eyes for a second, thinking, his arms crossed. Then he looks at you again, smiling, as he embraces you tightly - "Well, we'll see what we can do together, alright?"

-He's good at cooking and in household chores, so if you ever will move in together you don't need to teach him anything as he already knows everything and is willing to help.

-"Darling, how are you today?" - he always ask you when you get home in the evening after work, with a warm loving smile on his face - "Come on, dinner is almost ready..!"

-Sometimes it looks almost like he IS a wife, but it doesn't bother him, as Ichiro loves to clean up and cook.

-He's always here for you, and it doesn't matter for what reason - if you need a shoulder to cry on, or want to talk about something easy or funny, or just cuddle him in the evening.. Ichiro is ready for everything.

-Cause you're his girlfriend and he will do anything to make you feel special and cared.

Kuko:

-He's more teasy about it, but if you will tease him back he would probably blush hard, hiding his face.

-But notwithstanding his bratty and mockery behavior, if you actually feel bad or sad about this, he will assure that everything is alright actually.

-As a future monk he knows how to make people feel easy with deep phrases, but also as your boyfriend he knows how to choose the right words to soothe you.

-"Come on, don't look at me like that.." - he scoffs with furrowed brows, you can see as he tries to hide his guiltiness behind annoyance - "I was just joking, okay? You know, I wouldn't date a girl I don't like, so make conclusions why I'm still with you, huh.."

-It's sometimes even surprising to you how he can turn from an unruly hothead to a calm mature man. And the way he speaks in these moments makes you feel like he's the one who's older here..

-Well but when he's in his casual wild regime it's easy for you to forget about your age difference as he lures you to his games and you two just run around together, almost like kids.

-As time passes he becomes more soft and passionate, and now it's much easier for you to pay back and make him blush too with some teases.

-And not only teases, but love and care, even a simple compliment to his looks makes him turn red sometimes, if mood is just right or if he's really affectionate today.

-Will fight anyone, I repeat anyone, who will try to look askance at you. Kuko's always ready to protect his precious darling if someone dares to speak about you, your appearance or behavior, or about your relationship with him.

-"That's it! Run before I will tear your ass apart!!" - he laughed, looking as your bully ran away, then he turned to you with a more worried expression, his eyes were shining after a good fight but now his gaze was soft and gentle again - "Are you okay, s/o? Don't let these assholes wipe this beautiful smile from your silly face, alright?"

-He's used to solving all his troubles in two ways: fight and meditation. But now, when he has you, telling about his worries makes him feel so needed and loved.. The way you speak when giving him some advice or just trying to cheer him up makes his heart tremble.

-And of course he's ready for you to vent, as he wants you to feel better too as he listens carefully, his arms around your body, caressing slowly. Will try to teach you how to meditate, as it always helps him to think straight.

-"How are you now? Better?" - he asks, looking at your face with such a childish smirk, but this deep love and care in his gaze tells you everything - "You know that I'm always here for you, so come on, tell me all your troubles! Let the stress go away!"

-Relationship with him is both extremely wild and interesting, but at the same time so soothing and healthy.

-You can feel as you both help each other to grow up and get more mature, as Kuko always wants to be a better version of himself. And he also wants to be the best boyfriend on the whole planet just for you.

[nikki-writes-stuff]

Beauty In the Blood - Part 6

Summary: One day your friend convinces you to join a dating website that matches people based on their search histories, and when you match with Loki Odinson, a handsome, intelligent coroner who’s a fan of your murder mysteries, you’re absolutely thrilled. But there’s something off about Loki, and as your relationship progresses, you discover that his dark side is even darker than you could ever have imagined…

Pairing: Serial Killer!Loki x Writer!Reader

Read part 5 here!

A/N: I’m really sorry for how long this update took. Life has been crazy and I’ve been crazier, but I did my best! Please let me know if you’re still enjoying the story. :) And thank you, truly, to anyone still interested in my writing! It means a lot more than y’all realize. :) (Also, WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT!)

Moving was never easy, especially in a city like New York. When you’d first moved into your quaint little brownstone, you’d hired a team of movers for this very reason, but even then, you hadn’t been able to escape the ordeal without a massive headache and a stubbed toe from a dropped box full of books.

So it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to see your partner in his current state – dressed the most casually you’d ever seen him, sweating through his simple white t-shirt, breathing heavily as he lugged box after box into his home with his hair pulled back in a man bun that he’d given you a death-glare for giggling at.

“I didn’t take you for such a hipster,” you’d joked, laughter only growing louder when Loki levelled you with a stare as cold as ice.

“If I catch you taking any photos of my current hair style,” he’d grumbled, “I’ll not only steal your phone but leave you to move all of this in by yourself.”

You’d felt your face heat up, knowing that a candid photo from that morning was already saved to your phone’s gallery and hoping he wouldn’t ever find it. With a smile, you’d leaned up to peck his cheek before grabbing one of the last boxes left.

“I would never take your picture in such a state of vulnerability.”

“Oh, come now, love. You know I can always tell when I’m being lied to.”

Despite the tedium of moving box after box into your new home, though, you were able to finish things up fairly quickly. You’d already stored your biggest items of furniture in a storage unit not too far away, so once the boxes were all inside and delegated to the rooms their contents would be going in, you found yourself sitting on the kitchen floor with Loki by early afternoon, enjoying the cool tile beneath you as you sipped tall glasses of ice water.

“Well,” he finally smiled, setting his empty glass on the counter behind him, “I suppose now I can officially welcome you home.”

You paused mid-sip, suddenly realizing that you were, in fact, home now. Looking around, you took in the space that you’d be sharing with the man who’d entered your life so unexpectedly, feeling a mix of apprehension and excitement that you’d since become familiar with. When you’d told your friends and family that you’d be moving in with Loki, you hadn’t been surprised by the warnings you’d received.

You knew it was fast; you’d agreed to move in with Loki just two months ago, making it only half a year since having first met him. But none of them could understand – you had never felt this way with anyone before, and after looking for so long, you didn’t want to waste any time sharing your life with him. And, miraculously, he felt the same way. You’d never once had doubts that you were the only one between the two of you to feel so strongly, and while you knew there would be arguments and stressors that every relationship would encounter at some point, you had complete trust in Loki. The two of you would work it out, no matter what came up.

“I know that look,” you suddenly heard from beside you, and you jolted upon realizing you’d been staring into space for the last several moments. Loki had scooted closer to you on the floor, and you gave him a small smile as his eyes searched your features.

“You’re not having second thoughts, now, are you love?”

“No,” you were quick to reassure him. His eyebrows were furrowed, a line forming between them as he considered you, and you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips.

“I promise,” you sighed, setting your hand on his. “I’m right where I want to be. But it’s still so fast, you know? Six months ago I sincerely thought that I’d never find someone I wanted to be with. And now, here I am.”

“Here you are,” he echoed.

A pale hand reached out to grab yours, entwining your fingers as he leaned forward for a kiss deeper than the last. Shivers ran up your spine as you felt a cool tongue glide over your lower lip, and you opened up to him readily, drinking in his kiss eagerly as you pressed yourself against him.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself laid out on your back, skin naked and chilled against the floor as Loki’s tongue found another home between your legs. Fingers clenched in his hair, head thrown back in pleasure, you ground your hips upwards, the entire house filling with your moans and cries as you got closer and closer to your peak.

Until he pulled away, lips glistening with your juices, leaving you right on the precipice. A loud groan escaped your chest, frustration making you clench your teeth as your orgasm evaded you. Looking down, you saw Loki smirking as he watched your chest heave with gasping breaths; you knew he loved teasing you.

Ever since that first night together, it was like Loki had made it his personal mission to know your body inside out. It hadn’t taken him long, either, to be able to read you just like the books you wrote. He knew what it meant when your thighs clenched together, could hear how close you were in every breathy sigh you released. And he used that knowledge against you at every chance he got.

He would make you cum – he always made you cum – but he took his time getting there, especially when all you wanted was that sweet, blissful release you knew only he could give you. And most days, you would play right along, begging him the way you knew he liked, pleading with your words and eyes for his cock, his fingers, his tongue – anything that could give you what you wanted.

But for some reason, today was different. Maybe it was the exhaustion from moving, maybe it was from residual agitation from thinking about the doubts your loved ones had had about your relationship. But whatever the reason, the part of you that always submitted to him was replaced by the same part that had gripped his throat and rode his cock the very first time you had sex.

When you saw him smirking from between your legs, you moved quicker than your thoughts could, hands pressing at Loki’s shoulders until he fell backwards on the floor. Straddling him, your lips twisted upwards at the surprised expression on his face as you crawled up his body.

“No, Loki,” you purred, knees bracketing his chest as it began to rise and fall faster. “You’re gonna give me what I want today.”

His eyes narrowed immediately, studying you with a calculating stare that would have made you immediately stop and question what you were doing were it not for how his posture slowly began to relax. Laying back flat, he arched an eyebrow and set his hands on your thighs, wrapping his fingers around them to tug you closer by the back of your knees.

“Is that so, darling?” He licked his lips, eyes trailing up and down your naked form as you shifted your weight to come closer. “And just how do you plan to do that?”

With a grin, you grabbed his hair and tilted his head back, admiring his handsome features for a second before speaking.

“I’m going to ride that mouth so you can’t take it away from me again,” you purred, and god, did that elicit a reaction you weren’t expecting.

His pupils dilated as soon as you spoke those words, and with a growl he lunged upwards, greedily lapping once again at your pussy, focusing directly on your clit. You let out a surprised cry as your hips stuttered forwards, pressing down so he wouldn’t have to lean up as his tongue traced patterns against your bud that had your thoughts turning into white noise.

Gripping the lip of the counter behind him, you rocked your hips and closed your eyes, moaning his name over and over as you quickly reached that peak once again.

“Right there, right there- fuck, Loki, yes, yes, yes-!”

Your orgasm took you off guard, washing over you from head to toe as you screamed his name one last time, hips slowing gradually. His tongue, though, was still insistent as it moved against you, making the muscles in your legs jump as you tried to pull away.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so, love.”

You heard a growl from beneath you before the entire world was spinning, and you found yourself pushed down onto all fours as Loki positioned your knees apart, pressing down between your shoulder blades until you were resting your weight on your elbows.

“You wanted my mouth, and now you’re doing to get it.”

Holding your hips firmly in place, you glanced over your shoulder to watch as he leaned in again, making you jolt and try to press your thighs together as his tongue once more assaulted your sensitive clit. With a high-pitched wail, you grit your teeth and squirmed, the pleasure both intoxicating and too much all at once. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to pull away or press back against him, though you weren’t left with much of a choice with the way his hands were gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises.

It didn’t take long, though, before your overstimulated mewls became moans of pleasure once more, feeling another wave about to crest as he teased your cunt relentlessly. When two long fingers were abruptly pushed inside of your drenched pussy, you clamped around them tightly, rocking your hips back once, twice, before your body stiffened again. You felt your toes curl and your back arch as you came again, biting the back of your hand to muffle the scream that you let out.

“That’s it,” Loki cooed, finally relenting with his tongue but keeping his fingers inside of you. “My girl wanted to be greedy, didn’t she? But what was that old saying about getting exactly what you wish for?”

You didn’t have the presence of mind to answer him, and you heard a tsk before a hand came down hard against your ass. He spanked your other cheek for good measure, and a whimper escaped you as you glanced over your shoulder at him.

The look in Loki’s eyes was absolutely feral as he met your gaze, and a wicked grin spread across his face as he rose up onto his knees. As he unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out, you realized for the first time that you were the only one between the two of you that was naked, and another hot wave of lust came over you at the thought.

“As much as I adore those brave little moments where you take what you want, love,” he murmured, leaning down to plant a kiss to your spine, “I need you to know, at the end of the day, that you’re mine.”

At that, he gripped his shaft and guided his cock into your cunt, both of you letting out a groan at the sensation. Even after cumming twice, your pussy gripped him tightly, almost like it was trying to pull him in. Never once had Loki felt so much pleasure while having sex; never once had he felt such a possessive need to claim and mark and own before, but he’d learned a while ago that there was no comparing you to any past partner or experience he’d ever had.

Setting out with a fast pace, he squeezed your hip in one hand and used the other to wrap around your throat, pulling until you were up on your knees, back pressed to his front as he desperately sank into your wet heat over and over again. You cried out when you felt teeth biting into your shoulder, but the pain mixed with the pleasure in an addictive way that you couldn’t get enough of. Loki was typically respectful of where he left marks on you, keeping them in places where they could be easily covered up, but now you felt his lips getting closer and closer to your neck, leaving a purple trail of hickeys across your collarbone that you were already proud of.

You knew he was getting close when he moved his hand from your throat to your clit, tracing tight, fast circles until your head spun, leaning back against his shoulder as your third orgasm rose up.

“Are you going to cum again, greedy little thing?” His voice was a breathless purr against your ear, and you whined, only able to nod in response. “Good girl; cum again for me. And scream my name to let the neighbors know who you belong to.”

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you wailed his name, repeating it over and over with every surge of pleasure you felt as your orgasm left you boneless and limp in his grip. It didn’t take long for him to follow, stilling inside of you as his cum filled your pussy. You were grateful for your birth control as your head lolled back against his shoulder, enjoying the claiming warmth of his seed as it spread inside of you, a smile coming to your lips when he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Both of his arms came up to hold you against him, pulling out slowly before leaning back against the cabinets behind his back. You laid with him, not caring that you were naked and leaking cum out onto the kitchen floor. There would be plenty of time to clean up later. For now, you looked up to find blue eyes already studying you, and your chest ached with how much you loved him in that moment.

His thoughts must have been straying in a similar direction, because when he kissed you, it was slow, and languid, and you could swear you felt him pouring all his love for you into it. You were both smiling when you parted, and you just sat there enjoying the quiet, intimate moment until Loki broke the silence.

“I suppose we can count the kitchen as christened, then.”

Your giggles turned into a surprised gasp when he suddenly stood up, carrying you with him bridal style as he turned towards the stairs.

“Next up, I think, is the shower.”

____________________

Humans are remarkably adaptable creatures, but it still surprised you how quickly you settled into living with Loki. On his work days, he would leave early to go to the gym first, always leaving you with a kiss and a promise to text you when he got to the hospital. You would spend your days either working on the edits to your newest novel or unpacking your boxes, though that task was completed after the first week of being there.

Lovecraft was a surprisingly sweet little companion. Loki had been afraid it would take her some time to get used to sharing him, but she seemed to enjoy your company. She still didn’t want to sit in your lap and cuddle like she did with Loki, but she would twine around your ankles as you typed at your computer, letting you pet her and lending a listening ear when you needed to talk out what you were working on.

The only thing that you missed about your old home was your office. Loki had offered to convert his spare bedroom into one for you, but you’d felt bad at the thought of Thor having to get a hotel when he came by to visit. You’d asked about maybe setting up an office in Loki’s basement, but he’d quickly waved off the idea, saying that it was too cluttered with storage to be feasible. You’d thought it odd at first, considering that all you would need to do was some rearranging to make space for a desk and office chair down there, but after spending just a few minutes in the room and finding the cold, dark space even creepier than the morgue your partner worked in, you’d agreed and set up your computer on the dining room table instead.

You didn’t want to seem spoiled, and lots of people could only ever dream of getting to be a full-time writer, so you swore up and down that you didn’t miss your office and that you were perfectly fine with your current setup, thank you very much. And you did get used to it after just a few days, continuing to make great progress with your novel at a personal record-breaking pace.

Only a month into your new life living with Loki, you found yourself meeting with your publisher to see the first rough-draft, bound copy of your book, finally tangible and printed out in paper-back. It wasn’t the final edition; there were still small grammatical errors and the cover art to sort out, but it would at least show a rough idea of what the final product would be. Several of the rough copies would be shipped out to various authors, literary magazines, and bookstore owners to get feedback on the story and to gather some complimentary quotes for the back of the final cover, but for once, you didn’t find yourself nervous about the feedback that would be coming your way from other professionals.

No, as you walked up to your new home, palms growing sweaty as they held your book to your chest, you were only nervous about your biggest fan’s thoughts as you quietly unlocked your front door. You hadn’t told him that you were getting the advanced copy today, and since it was one of his rare days off during the week, you’d wanted to surprise him with it, knowing he’d immediately want to drop everything he had planned for the evening to devour your words. He’d been trying to sneak glances over your shoulder as you wrote for months, intensely curious about the story of Olivia the killer coroner, growing as impatient as any of your other dedicated readers to see what your story held.

And now, as you crept silently through your house to find and surprise him, you could only hope his wait would be worth it. But, as you made your way from the first floor to the second, your nervous smile was quickly replaced by a frown. He was nowhere to be seen – the first floor was completely empty, save for Lovecraft as she snoozed in Loki’s favorite armchair. And the second floor was similarly vacant.

“Loki?” you called out, knocking on the guest bedroom door before opening it to find…nothing.

There was one last place to look – the basement. As much as you didn’t particularly enjoy the room, you knew there was nothing to actually be afraid of down there. And so you held your head high as you climbed down the stairs, quickly flicking on the overhead fluorescent lights as you stepped into the cold concrete space.

…and promptly found nothing. Not a single black hair to be seen. Letting out a huff, you put your hands on your hips and turned the light back off, once more ascending to the first floor and peaking out the window. His car was right out front in its usual spot; maybe he’d gone for a walk in the neighborhood? It was possible; there was a bougie specialty tea shop a few blocks down that he got his earl grey from. Or he might have decided to go for a jog; he’d mentioned wanting to get back into running a few days ago.

Shrugging it off, you sent him a quick text asking where he was before heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, setting your book down on the counter as you did. However, before you could even take a sip, you heard the unmistakable sound of a door being opened downstairs, followed by a familiar set of footsteps heading your way. Nearly spilling your water, you quickly grabbed the book and held it behind your back just in time to see Loki appear in the doorway, pale cheeks flushed from running up the stairs.

“Oh, hello, darling,” he smiled, stepping closer to peck your cheek. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Blinking rapidly, you looked from him to the space behind him, not understanding where he’d appeared from.

“Where were you?”

“In the basement,” he answered. “Just moving some stuff around, sorting through old boxes. How did-“

“Wait,” you interrupted, letting out a huff of laughter. “Are you pranking me or something? I just checked the basement, and you weren’t in there. The lights were off and everything.”

Without missing a beat, he shrugged, reaching past you to take a sip from your water.

“You mean you don’t ever get the urge to arrange storage in the dark?”

You let out another awkward laugh at his joke, not buying it for a second. He could see your skepticism, evidently, because he smiled and leaned back against the fridge, boxing you in against the counter.

“It’s a surprise, love. Trust me. And try not to wander down there too much until your surprise is ready. Now, are you going to tell me what you’ve got behind your back, or do I need to guess?”

You’d momentarily forgotten the reason why you’d wanted to find him in the first place, and with a jolt you straightened up, scooting away from him when he tried to peak over your shoulder.

“I think if you’re keeping surprises from me, it’s only fair you need to guess,” you sassed, lifting your chin defiantly.

“Ohhh, I see,” he chuckled. “Alright. Is it-“

But before he could begin his question, he suddenly lunged forward, grabbing your waist and spinning you around, fingers tickling up your sides until your grip on the book slipped. Letting out a shrieking gasp, you pulled away and turned back around, but not before feeling a strong grip grab the book and pull it from your hands in surprise.

“Hey!” you shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, “but you never listed the rules, so how…”

He trailed off as he finally saw what he was holding in his hands. The temporary cover art would change with the final, published edition, but for now there was a simple picture of a dagger slicing a human heart clean through the center resting on top of a steel examination table like the ones he used at work. The title you’d finally settled on was The Killing Coroner, and it was sprawled across the top in bold black font, your name printed just below it in smaller letters. You didn’t like the initial look of it, but if the first draft of the final cover art that your publicist had sent you was anything to go by, it would look much more gothic and refined before hitting shelves.

Loki, though, seemed enthralled with it, tracing the letters of your name with a slender digit before reverently opening to the first few pages. When he saw the dedication, though, you watched his breath get caught in his throat, and for the first time you saw tears spring to his eyes as he read the words on that page out loud.

“’For Loki, with all my love. You inspired every word.’”

He bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment before meeting yours. You couldn’t even begin to describe the depths of the emotions swirling inside of them, but you knew that above all else, there was love. Strong and scary and deep as the ocean, you saw how much he loved you in that moment and knew you’d made the right choice to dedicate your book to him. Really, you couldn’t picture it being anyone else. He’d believed in you and your writing since before you’d even met, and though you couldn’t tell who reached for who first, soon you were standing in the middle of the kitchen, clutching each other close and kissing one another breathless.

“I wish I could go back and show this to my past self,” he sighed, cupping your cheeks. “You have no idea how much this means to me, love.”

“If I didn’t have some kind of idea, I wouldn’t have dedicated it to you,” you assured him. “I know my writing has meant a lot to you, but you don’t realize how much you reading my stories has meant to me. We were helping and supporting each other even before we met; isn’t that strange to think about?”

A small, genuine smile crossed his face, and he let out a sigh as he held you to him.

“Strange, yes, but in the best possible way.”

You were content to simply stand there, holding each other and reveling in having found someone so perfect. But even when Loki pulled away and declared that he was taking you out for a celebratory dinner, even when, later, he laid you down on the bed and showed you exactly how much your gift had meant to him, you still couldn’t help but come back to the same nagging question that stuck out in your brain like a sore thumb.

What had he been doing in the basement?

_________________

A week had gone by, and yet here you were, stood in the middle of the basement with your hands on your hips and your bottom lip between your teeth. Despite what Loki had said about spoiling your surprise, you couldn’t help but wander back down to the lowest level of your new home, pulling your cardigan tighter around your body to ward off the chill.

You’d obsessed over it quietly for the past several days, wondering where he could have been and what he could have been doing. Though the space was much more cluttered than the rest of the house, there weren’t any obvious places he could have been hiding. You peaked behind the tallest stacks of cardboard boxes just to make sure, but no, you were positive there wasn’t any other place he could have been hiding.

Unless.

As crazy as you knew it was to suspect, a passing thought had come to you late last night that, maybe, there was a hatch you hadn’t seen – some sort of trap door or crawl space. There were plenty of basements that had one, especially in older buildings like the brownstone you now resided in, and as unlikely as it was, your curiosity wouldn’t rest until you could figure it out.

And so that was how you found yourself walking slowly through the basement that evening while Loki was at work – creeping along with your eyes glued to the floor to find some sort of irregularity that might hint at a secret room. You didn’t really know why it was so important to you; you truly didn’t want to ruin any surprise Loki might be trying to set up, but the child in you couldn’t help but feel intrigued at the prospect of finding a secret, extra space inside your new home. You were reminded of Harry Potter’s cupboard beneath the stairs, and you felt like it was some sort of adventure, trying to find the hidden compartment that may or may not be there.

Though, as you did a second sweep over the space, you were beginning to lean towards the latter option. The entire floor was one smooth slab of concrete, and you couldn’t find any blemishes or cracks in it whatsoever. With a sigh, you leaned back against one of the bookcases pressed against the back wall, turning your head to the side to absently read the spines. They were all pretty dusty, since they weren’t the sort of books one would revisit and read for pleasure. Most of them were medical journals or textbooks from Loki’s time in college.

But you perked up when you saw one spine that was less dusty than those around it. Actually, as you straightened up and examined it closer, you realized that it was an edition of Shakespeare, and it hardly had any dust at all on it. With a frown, you reached out and slid it off the shelf, turning the heavy volume over in your hands curiously. Opening the front cover, you smiled when you saw Loki’s handwriting along the top of the first page, though it was written in a much clumsier hand than that of the man you knew today.

“Property of Loki Odinson, age 12”

With a grin, you went to return it to its place when, suddenly, your eyes caught on something along the inner wall of the shelf. Something that looked like a keyhole…

“I take it you never read the story of Bluebeard’s wife as a cautionary tale.”

A shriek escaped your lips as you spun around, finding Loki standing directly behind you with an arched eyebrow and his hands in his pockets. Pressing a hand against your suddenly-pounding heart, you gave him a sheepish smile as you held the volume of Shakespeare against your stomach.

“Jeez, Loki, you scared me half to death,” you chuckled, though his lips didn’t so much as twitch as he watched you. Recalling what he’d just said, you licked your lips and shifted your feet, for some reason feeling inexplicably nervous. “And I don’t think I’m familiar with that one. Bluebeard, you said?”

“Bluebeard,” he nodded. Taking his right hand out of his pocket, he revealed a small, black key, holding it out to you until you took it with shaking fingers.

“Bluebeard was an old retired sailor who lived in a quiet town, and rumors swirled for years about him and how he might have come into his fortune,” Loki recalled, taking a step towards you. You, in turn, went to step back as well but found your back pressed against the shelf, trapped between him and its hard edges.

“Eventually, despite the rumors, a young lady from the town agreed to marry him,” he pressed on. “And she found herself thrust into the lap of luxury, wanting for nothing as her husband granted her every wish. Her first day as mistress of his estate, he gave her a ring with all the keys to his home on it, but he showed her one specifically, saying it went to the basement, but that she was to never open it.”

He nodded towards the key you now held, and the buzzing anxiety in your chest grew louder in your ears as he gripped your shoulders and turned you around to face the shelf.

“But, of course, curiosity got the best of his little wife sooner rather than later. It wasn’t enough that she had a beautiful new home, a loving new husband… No, she wanted to see. She wanted to look. And so she took that key,” he continued, guiding your hand that held the key and manipulating your fingers until it was held outstretched between them, “and she opened that basement door. And do you know what she found inside?”

You shook your head, suddenly unable to speak as he made your hand slide the key into the secret lock. His breath was warm against the back of your head as he slowly, slowly twisted your hand, and you gulped when you felt the lock click away.

“Loki-“

“Do you have any guesses as to what Bluebeard’s wife saw, love?”

Once more, you shook your head, and you held your breath as his other hand came up to grip the shelf and pull, revealing a hidden door on secret hinges that began slowly opening outwards…

“She saw what had happened to his other wives, who had also been too curious to leave well enough alone. Or, rather, what was left of them.”

Your anxiety bloomed into outright fear as the door was opened fully, revealing-

“BOO!”

You yelped, stumbling as Loki’s hands seized your sides, squeezing them so suddenly that you jumped forward, into…

Into the most perfect office you’d ever seen.

Your previous nerves died, and you let your lips turn upwards into a grin as Loki laughed behind you. Soon enough, you were laughing too, spinning around to take in the entire room. The walls and floor, like the rest of the basement, were concrete, but Loki had set up a few floor lamps that cast warm light on the space. A plush rug was laid out on the floor and tasteful artwork of old books and typewriters had been hung up at various points along the walls. One entire wall had a bunch of pegs in it, and you imagined that it used to be home to various power tools that had once hung on them. Now, though, there were small potted succulents attached to them, adding a fresh touch of green to the space that brightened everything around it.

And in the center of it all was the most beautiful, antique writing desk you’d ever seen. It was made from dark wood, and a cozy rolling chair was stationed dutifully in front of it. There was even a small plastic mat on top of the plush area rug that would allow you to roll the chair as you pleased without losing traction against the carpet. All of it was complete with two armchairs and an empty bookshelf in the far corner, and as you took the space in, you felt Loki come up behind you to wrap his arms around your middle.

“Do you like your surprise, love?” he murmured, and you were quick to turn around and fling your arms around his neck.

“I love it!” you exclaimed. “Loki, this is… You are… I can’t thank you enough!”

He laughed, taking in with pride in how happy you were.

“Enough to forgive me for giving you a bit of a scare just now?”

“Just barely, but don’t do that again,” you giggled. “You really had me convinced I was gonna open that door to a pile of corpses.”

He laughed particularly hard at that one, shaking his head as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Never, love. This is your space now, to write or read or do anything you see fit in.”

Warmth blossomed in your chest, and you leaned up to press a lingering kiss to his smiling lips. The scare he’d given you melted away into something else entirely as you thought of everything he’d done for you, and so when you pulled away, you grabbed the tie hanging from his neck and tugged on it, walking backwards towards one of the armchairs.

“I think,” you grinned, “I should show you just how grateful I am.”

There was no mistaking the lust that entered his gaze upon hearing your words, and he allowed you to turn him around and push him down into the chair. His eyes never left yours as you sunk down onto your knees, placing a hand on each to spread his legs wide enough for you to kneel between them.

And for his part? Loki closed his eyes and let you unzip his pants, surrendering control to you as he basked in the situation he found himself in.

He’d known as soon as you’d agreed to move in with him that he would need to take his “hobbies” elsewhere, and when you’d refused to take Thor’s guest room (despite his secret hopes that you would, solely to force the big blonde oaf into a hotel during his stays), he’d known the perfect space for your new office. After all, how delicious was it that your stories of gruesome murders would be created in the very room where he’d crafted his own? He thought back to the barista and abusive mother that had met their demise not so far from where you now knelt before him, pleasuring the very killer who’d taken inspiration from your words without you even knowing, and he let a wide grin spread over his features.

It had been hard to part with his “murder room”, as Thor had termed it, but right now? He couldn’t find it in him to regret his decision in the slightest.  

[straighttohellbuddy]

as we've established {Sapnap}

Black Cat Anon requested: you have asked for sapnap (my beloved) prompts and here i shall provide. a 4 + 1 scenario. 4 times he jokes that he’s in love with you and 1 time he realises it’s not actually a joke any more.

Summary: You and Dream have been best friends since middle school, and since graduating, have lived together in Florida. Dream had been the one to introduce you to the other two people who would inevitably become known as The Dream Team in the years to come, however something about Sapnap, even all those years ago, clicked with you. Of course you end up loving him; at first you think it's the way you love Dream or George, like a best friend, like a brother, but as time wears on, as he becomes a part of your real life, you realise that your feelings might not be as platonic as you'd first imagined.

Need To Know: She/Her. chaotic!streamer!reader who uses a facecam, irl platonic ride-or-die friendship with Dream, friends-to-lovers Sapnap vibes with highkey flirting at all times that may or may not be a joke. FLUFF.

A/N: 7804 words. new thing i'm trying is including the 'Need to Know' which will be key vibes of the story so you know ahead of time, but that wouldn't fit in the more flowery summary. this didn't need to be this long and yet alas, it is. made it a 5+1, i hope you don't mind.

Citrus Scale: 🧡 ORANGE 🧡

"Wait, Sapnap, who's your celebrity crush?" It was one simple question, from Dream, followed by the immediate response that Sapnap had already given in some variation or another many times before, clearly given through a shit-eating grin from Sapnap himself;

"Y/N, obviously."

"I hate you, I knew you would say that," Dream's response is flat, while you yourself could be heard cackling with glee in the background, "she doesn't count -"

"Rude," you cut him off, and Dream makes a faux irrate noise in the back of his throat as Sapnap insists that you definitely count.

"Y/N's been my celebrity crush since I met her-"

"She wasn't a celebrity then," Dream fires back, snarkily.

"Maybe not to you, but you talked about her so much she may as well have been!" Sapnap counters, and Dream goes very quiet. You know without even seeing him that he's making a face.

"You're such a simp," you teased. No-one in your chat seems to know who you're referring to, and you don't bother to clarify.

"I hate you both," Dream mutters, though you can hear the faintest smile in his voice.

"So yeah, Y/N's my celebrity crush, obviously, but we all knew that," the words are so casual, so nonchalant, so easy for him to admit though you both know its a joke. Something warms in your heart, but you can't help your own answer.

"This is so awkward, I was going to say mine is George -" which was immediately followed by uproar from both your friends.

----

[I can't believe @sapnap is still a c!Y/N apologist after everything she put c!Tubbo through] it's two-in-the-morning when one of the more popular DSMP Stan accounts tweets this. You don't see it immediately, not because you're asleep or anything reasonable like that, but because you were in the middle of a stream on your alt account. Of your friends, Sapnap himself is the one who sees it first, also up at this ungodly hour, as he'd been lurking in your stream.

He doesn't bring it up on stream, though he does respond to the tweet, like he knows you'll be informed, like he knows you can't help but read and react live.

[it's because im in love with her obviously. next question.]

It takes about three minutes for anyone in your chat to actually bring it up, but as soon as they do, they're spamming at you to check your Twitter; with a healthy amount of apprehension, you concede.

The grin that lights up your face is both blinding and involuntary, and you immediately rush to hide your face behind your hands, giggling to yourself. Despite being fully aware that it was a running joke, it still managed to catch you off guard from time to time, though it never failed to warm your heart.

"That's cute," you mumble, "that's very cute," after a pause, however, your tone does shift to something more thoughtful, "but I don’t think people understand what being an apologist is,” you say quietly, still grinning from ear to ear from behind your hands, “Sapnap appreciating my acting and being intrigued by my character isn’t being an apologist; being an apologist would be if I, knowing full well that he went through a pet-murdering arc on the server, turned around and said that he was justified, or that actually he’d done nothing wrong,” tipping your head to the side, eyes still glued to your second monitor as you reread the tweet, you lower your hands, smile growing wider; “fuck it, actually, you know what, I've decided I’m a C-Sapnap apologist and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

And you watch your chat for a moment, delighting in the chaos, gaze flicking every so often to where you saw his username in the list of moderators currently watching, wondering how he was going to react.

[okay yeah i don’t think ive been an actual apologist on main just an enthusiast lol] comes the message from Sapnap himself, flashing up across your screen, being read by the monotone robotic voice that reads out all your messages, friends and donos alike. You simply raise your eyebrows at the message, trying not to grin. As if on cue, just a moment later, a second message.

[but i AM a c!Y/N apologist]

“I have done nothing wrong ever in my life,” you can’t help but grin, wide and sharp, knowing he’d know which meme you were quoting, playing along as he sends through;

[I know this and I love you.]

You smile wider, before the realisation hits you, seeing both your housemate, and one of your best friend’s names in the list of viewers alongside Sapnap’s.

“I can’t wait for the VC tomorrow where Gogy and Dream bully me into admitting I’m an apologist for their characters too,” and though there was mischief in your eyes, there was something fond in your tone, right before you mused about how the only reason Dream hadn’t physically tackled you by now is because you were using your facecam.

[first] Sapnap sends, and something in your smile softens.

“Of course, buddy, you’re my favourite –“

“You’re gonna stop streaming some time!” Comes a hollered, implied threat from Dream down the hall.

“Okay but what if I turn this stream into a subathon so I don’t get tackled by internet personality and jealous bitch DreamWasTaken?” You ask your chat with an amused kind of confidence, despite the footsteps approaching.

“I’ll cut the power,” Dream’s let himself - and Patches - into your room, voice sounding stern though only you can see the sheer amusement he’s radiating at the whole situation, arms crossed, leaning back against your door.

“You’re such a sook,” you tell him fondly, leaning back in your chair to look at him. Patches chatters at you as if its some kind of warning, before she jumps nimbly into your lap. Dream flips you off, but stays quiet. Casting a glance to your camera, your lips twist into a smirk as you automatically begin to scratch behind Patches' ears as she settles herself on your thighs, “chat can you believe what I have to deal with?”

"People would pay good money to get tackled by me, and here I am offering to lay your ungrateful ass out for free," Dream crosses his arm over his chest once more, raising an eyebrow at you.

"And you get on my case when I feed the shippers," you scoff at him, playing up your irritation as you rolled your desk chair incrementally back and forth.

"Yeah, but I'm cute so it doesn't count."

"Terrible defence since they can't verify that, narcissus-acting-headass-"

"Then they'll have to take my word for it," he paused, tipping his head from one side to the other, deliberating, "or yours."

"As if I'd vouch for you being cute!" You crowed with delight at the whole bit, "first of all, in terms of hierarchy, I'm the cutest, then Sapnap because as we've established, he's my favourite -"

[tell dream he IS cute when hes jealous. hes not looking at discord so he cant see that im trying to flirt with him too]

“Sap says you’re cute when you’re jealous,” you tease, while Dream’s actively holding back laughter.

[why is there fighting? Y/N has 2 hands] a dono reads, which completely breaks your composure, and has you bursting with sudden laughter, telling Dream what had been sent, and he snorts a laugh, shaking his head.

“Don’t forget Gogy,” you insisted, attention turned to your camera as your laughter was dying down, “I don’t have enough hands, but Dream and Sap both have two hands, one each for me and Gogy,” you pause, looking at your computer fondly, tone silly and affectionate as you spoke without really thinking; “I will lean across the little circle we make and give him a kiss on the forehead.”

“Hey, why do you get to kiss him on the forehead?” Dream asks, and your grin turns from endeared to menacing once more.

“Because I assume you’ve already dipped him low and kissed him sweetly on the lips.”

“Like you would have with Sap,” Dream nods, playing along.

“Naturally.” You nod with as much sincerity as you can muster. For a long moment, the two of you refuse to break eye contact, neither one of you wanting to be the one who laughed first.

“I’m afraid to check discord,” you finally mutter around a repressed smile, which is what breaks Dream’s composure and he barks a laugh.

Another dono, this time reading [always glad to get these glimpses that confirm that their living situation is exactly as feral as i assume it is] and you cackle, which is exactly the kind of confirmation the chat wanted. Dream calls you a menace. You tell him this is why Sapnap’s your favourite.

----

It’s a no-brainer, asking Sapnap to move in with the two of you when he finally considers leaving his family home. How the three of you manage to keep the move a secret is a mystery unto itself, but you do. Perhaps you overcompensate a bit by being extra affectionate towards George in the lead-up, not wanting him to feel left out, but thankfully he found your attention endearing, and your fans didn’t think it out of the ordinary.

Sapnap announces he’s moving the day before he packs up his set up, more as an explanation for why he won’t be streaming over the next few days than anything else.

Everyone demands to know where he’s moving to, if he’s moving in with anyone; honestly they’re begging for crumbs of content, which he decidedly does not provide. He’s radio silent online for a few days, focusing on putting his life away in little boxes and hauling it across the country, while yourself and Dream are acting just as you always have, though with perhaps a bit more played-up yearning for Sapnap in his absence. What the world doesn’t know, however, is that the two of you had decided to take a several-day road trip to Texas together to help him move, driving in shifts, singing at the top of your lungs, staying in cheap motels, excitedly texting Sapnap for every important landmark or distance milestone you pass.

While Dream had managed to meet Sapnap in person before, the stars had never aligned for you in the same way, so of courses the moment you see him you’re crushing him in a hug. The feeling is familiar and brand new all at once; it’s a strange sensation, to be laughing and horsing around as you help him load his boxes into the rented trailer, it’s like you’re missing him retroactively, missing him for all the years you’ve known him without being able to just reach over and be reassured that he’s there. It’s… comforting. Being around him physically is inexplicably comforting.

You meet his family, and sleep on his sofa, and can’t help but be endeared by the stories his mother tells over dinner, despite his growing embarrassment. Of course, never ones to let a friend feel embarrassed alone, both yourself and Dream offer high school horror stories about each other, while you try not to be endeared by the grateful look Sapnap shoots you both as you’re arguing about who was worse; yourself for putting worms in Dream’s milkshake in middle school, or Dream for believing your innocence and still drinking it when you’ve always been an atrocious liar.

The next morning, the three of you are up at sunrise to make the most of the day, hooking the trailer up to the back of your car, and Sapnap hugs his family goodbye. He’s quiet for the first part of the trip, as if the reality of it is finally sinking in, like he’s contemplating his entire life, trying to make sense of it all and how he ended up here. He sits in the passenger seat, gazing out at the road through the window, while you and Dream argue over music amid still-waking-up yawns, but when you glance to him, finally giving him a proper look, about to ask if he’s alright, he’s grinning back at you, and then he’s looking over at Dream in the back seat, smiling wide.

“Can’t believe it’s finally happening,” he says brightly, and your heart melts a little.

“I can’t hug you, but I want to hug you,” you tell him, while Dream attempts to wrap his arms around both the seat and Sapnap, with questionable success.

“Really happening dude,” Dream’s face is squished into the seat, but you can hear how wide he’s smiling.

The drive to pick him up had been done over two days, marathon drives and few stops, but the way back is more like a cruise; still long drives, but split over three days, stopping to enjoy the scenery, smell the roses, to appreciate the real world. You take photos and videos you may share later, but mostly to treasure for yourself, and you share motel beds and take touristy photos, and half the time you’re worried you’re being too clingy, being too much all at once, but then Sapnap will lean his forehead against your shoulder from the back seat, making a contented hum where he’s still looking at his phone, and Dream, where he’s driving, will give his face a distracted but affectionate pat; it felt right. It felt like it should. Perhaps you were all just making up for lost time.

Sapnap provides the internet with crumbs after running it past both you and Dream, taking a simple, thirty-second video of the road from where he was sitting in the passenger seat, while Dream’s own song Road Trip played in the background. There was no hints of anyone else in the car with him, but after almost four days of nothing from him, the fanbase erupts.

[it takes a lot of courage to admit you’re a Dream stan 😌] you reply with, while Dream laughs and calls you an asshole as he keeps his eyes on the road, and Sap is reading through all the replies with a smile of his own.

"Someone's already linked the 'Y/N being an unapologetic Dream stan for twelve minutes straight' compilation," Sapnap adds; it's been two minutes since you're reply, you're surprised it took the internet that long.

"Of course they have," you snort.

"This is just my life now," he says quietly after a moment, something awed in his tone, and something tightens in your chest.

"There's still time to turn around and go back," Dream jokes, glancing over his shoulder with a half smile.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," Sapnap's response is delighted.

At home, he sets his streaming equipment up before he announces anything, settling into the space and organising a few of his things to make the space feel more like home before he tackles the majority of the boxes he'd brought.

He chooses to announce his new location by posting a photo with Patches. It's incredibly cute, she takes a liking to him almost immediately. You, on the other hand, never one to pass up an opportunity to be a menace, rope both boys in to take a picture sitting on Sapnap's new bed, holding both of their hands. The shutter goes off just as a particularly terrible joke you tell lands, and it might be one if your favourite photos of all time. Dream's mostly out of frame, obviously, all that can be seen his hand, fingers laced with yours where he's wearing his telltale glove, while you're looking particularly pleased and mischievous in the middle, and you managed to catch Sapnap blurry and mid-laugh on your other side.

[🤝 im not gonna say it 🤝] is the caption you post it with, both on Instagram and Twitter, knowing exactly what a majority of the comments are going to be as your audience fills in the blanks.

[Y/N HAS TWO HANDS!!] spammed hundreds, if not thousands of times in the comments, just as you'd intended. You're trending on Twitter and Tumblr. The move seems to be all anyone can talk about for the next few days.

Sapnap makes an appearance in your first stream since the move, a casual chatting stream since you couldn't be bothered to try and do anything productive, and knew that the chat would be insufferable and nosy either way.

"Do you want me to come say hi?" He's tentatively opened your door after knocking, only to be greeted by you smiling faintly at him from your desk chair. The look turns endeared despite yourself, though you do take a moment to remind him that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, ignoring your stream's pleas for the time being. None of you owe the internet anything, you try and remind yourself of this. But he shrugs, looking so sweet and nonplussed that you feel something warm and adoring blooms in your chest. Scooting over, you beckon him into frame, before realising the logistic issue, and quickly jump up to shove the clothes off of the chair in the corner of your room, dragging it over for him, presenting it like it's a throne.

He sits close beside you in frame, banter just as natural as it's ever been the two of you. You suggest playing something simple and low effort online to pass the time as you chat, and the two of you work your way through a kitschy website full of flash games as you talk and answer the donos that you were comfortable with, ignoring or admonishing the weirder or more invasive ones. His chin is on your shoulder, both of you watching the screen intently as you play.

[have you already dipped him low and kissed him sweetly on the lips?] you both hear, but your response comes out completely on instinct, half distracted by the game.

"I've been looking for the right time," you mutter, still focused on the game.

"You could just ask," he muses, flirty, habitual response also given on instinct, though now that he's got his hand resting on your arm.

"Alright, bet," it takes a moment, about the same amount of time for another dono commenting on the moment to get read out, before you fully register what you'd said. You pause the game. In the image from your web cam, chin still on your shoulder, he's turning an amusing shade of pink.

"Alright, bet?" He asks, tone far more pointed, as if demanding an explanation. He's doing reasonably well to keep the flustered notes from his voice, though he's clearly amused. Then, "we're like seven years into my ten year plan to get you realise you're madly in love with me, I knew it would pay off sooner or later; didn't realise it would take this long."

"Your ten year plan?" You asked, raising your eyebrows as you look to him; he hasn't made a move from your shoulder, and now you're nose-to-nose.

"We've established I'm in love with you -" he says easily, though there's mischief in his eyes.

"Yes, we've established this," you agree with a serious nod, playing along.

"And we've known each other for seven years," he elaborates, to which you again, agree, "I've playing the long game here," he smirks, "true love and stuff."

You... don't know how to respond. It's a joke, he has to be joking, why does looking him in the eyes right now feel like too much? Your voice is caught in your throat, that warm feeling in your chest only growing stronger as you realise that it has been well over half a decade that you've been friends.

[pics or it didn't happen] a dono breaks the moment, and you look back to your screen, hoping your sudden fluster goes mostly unnoticed.

"What?"

"I think they mean the dip," Sapnap muses, looking back to the computer.

"Bold of me to assume I could competently dip you," you snorted a self-deprecating laugh, letting the mood settle and shift back to the easy, familiar comfort it was just before... whatever happened between the two of you.

"We can practice," his tone was even and light, though the mental image of the two of you practicing dipping each other in your spare time was enough to bring a smile to your face. Then, looking to chat, you give a sigh of resignation.

"They meant the kiss, obviously they meant the kiss," you roll your eyes good naturedly.

"Yeah, well we can practice that too," he says nonchalantly. It takes all of your self control not to break in that moment, instead remaining calm as your response comes easily.

"Like we're in high school again," you say like you're looking forward to the prospect, then, for good measure, you glance to him, voice dropping to something quieter and knowing, "Dream and I were friends in high school, you know." It takes all of two seconds before Sapnap reels back with laughter, and you fully realise what you've just said, expression morphing into a faintly guilty smile, "I'm so glad he's asleep; he's going to absolutely fillet me for that." Then, taking a deep breath, you square your shoulders, "actually, I mean he is almost definitely going to attempt to German Supplex me or some shit but there's no shame in kissing the homies;" you wear the smuggest grin you can muster, "am I joking? Who knows!"

"No shame in kissing the homies," Sapnap is quick to agree amid laughter, which you echo again, quieter, grinning from ear to ear, "alright, bet," he gives a sharp grin as he shifts closer to you to rest his chin back on your shoulder, arm tucked against yours.

"After the stream," you tell him, smugly parroting his own words back at him, petting his arm fondly.

It's still mostly a joke, or at least, you're pretty sure he's mostly joking, because the stream ends after a few more games, and it isn't brought up again. The tone is still light and fond, and when it's just the two of you, he muses that that was fun, and you thank him for joining.

But nothing happens.

Is it weird that you kind of wish it had?

----

Part of you was worried that the dynamic would shift, or something would feel off, after the initial excitement wore off, after he realised just how little you and Dream had been joking about the inherent lack of personal space or modesty there was around the house. There was respect, of course, and boundaries, but after whether the crucible of middle and high school together and living together for several years, those boundaries and displays of respect looked quiet different to the usual definition. The two of you knew each other arguably too well, and were tuned into each other's non-verbal communication so acutely whole conversations could be had with a single gesture. The amount of love the two of you had for each other would always outweighed any potential shame, but that was a state of being years in the making.

It was borne out of knowing each other too long to feel any kind of shame, or anything beyond platonic love, so your only real hesitation about letting Sapnap move in was scaring him off. So there was an attempt, in the first few weeks, to seem like normal-adjacent housemates after Sapnap moved in.

But some things are force of habit; kind gestures they may be, they may still seem strange to a newcomer.

It hasn't been long since he'd arrived, but you're moving around the kitchen, trying to decide what to make yourself for lunch, when you realise that you have enough to make some for everyone, and that both boys had been streaming for a while without break. Out of habit, you simply rap your knuckles against the kitchen cupboard twice, loudly, and get a faint, answering knock from Dream from his room. A question and answer without interrupting his work.

It's only when you're knocking on Sapnap's door with a plate of food in your hands that it occurs that you that he may not know why. He's bemused, but grateful, and starts to listen out, starts to fit the various bits of nonverbal communication into his own lexicon around the house. Whenever he does, the love that wells up inside you overwhelms you a little , how he's making an effort to understand and adapt to this strange little lifestyle that he'd found himself in, that you'd helped create.

But there's the other thing about this house that you'd grown used to that you have to catch yourself with around Sapnap. Platonic intimacy hadn't bothered you or Dream for a long time now, you treat each other like furniture, had absolutely no concept of modesty, have definitely fallen asleep in each other's beds simply because you wanted to watch a movie and wanted company, and will happily roast the shit out of each other after one's booty call has gone home.

But you don't want to assume with Sapnap, the way it appears you do with Dream, when it's actually an acute understanding of him and his signals. So you ask, you always ask, just as he always asks before he returning the gestures. You're all tactile, but that won't stop you from being respectful.

"'m sleepy," you call through Sapnap's door, well aware that he was live.

"What?" It's half amused, which you can at least tell by now, is permission for you to answer. It's late, almost midnight. Dream's been passed out since midday but your sleep habits were marginally better.

"I'm fookin' sleepy!" You tell him, putting on a voice as you do, "need a fookin' cuddle," you continued, espression wild and comedic for emphasis, tone somehow getting more aggressive, "maybe a kiss on the noggin'." Then, "gib kiss." Immediately, he breaks out into a full smile.

"You alright there dude?"

"Yeah," your demeanour breaks and you give a sheepish grin, dropping your gaze, "I was actually having trouble sleeping and thought I'd bother you instead of Dream since he's already out." Sapnap knows all too well that you have no issues climbing into bed beside Dream if you need the contact, so of course he gives a confused look, "I like hearing you talk, and," you give a half-joking pout, "I'm demanding a hug, please and thank you." His whole expression softens, and he waves you over adamantly.

"Come here, sit in my lap," he's adamant, "come watch me bully Quackity," he grins. Something in your brain stalls as you step towards him, suddenly, quietly making sure that that was okay, but he's nodding insistently. As you sit carefully, revelling in his warmth, he reaches out to unplug his headphones, replacing them with earphones, giving you an ear. You lean back against him gently, and his chin comes to rest on your shoulder.

"Where's my forehead kiss? Why don't you ever ask me to sit in your lap, Sapnap? Huh?" Quackity's faux outrage has you laughing almost immediately, "playing favourites I see," he plays up up his indignance, while Sapnap clicks his tongue dismissively.

"'cos you don't happen to be the love of my life, Quackity," Sapnap rolls his eyes. Something strangely smug and pleased curls it's way around your heart.

"Don't you keep up with the Sapnap lore, this is well established," you add, trying your hardest to remain serious, which only has Quackity wailing that you're both breaking his heart. The statement hangs in the air, and even Q couldn't stop himself from breaking after a moment, the three of you dissolving into laughter. The look you share with Sapnap in this moment, the absolute joy and unguarded fondness in his gaze, there's something there that has your heart beating faster, beating harder.

How many more times are you going to have to listen to him joke about being in love with you before you admit that you it's not a joke for you any more, no matter how much you try to keep your feelings platonic. He hasn't seemed to notice, so for now you stay quiet.

You move from his lap, but take up residence on his bed, curled up and watching his stream on your phone so you could still hear Quackity.

In the moment before he heads off for the bathroom, after muting himself both in the VC and the chat, you do take the moment to warn him;

"Hey, I might fall asleep here, just wake me up when you wanna go to bed and I'll move," though you do give a sleepy shrug, "but also, you know I'm also down for a cute sleepover moment if you just wanna push me to one side." His expression, for a moment, is unreadable, but then, slowly, his smile turns soft.

"I don't... I don't mind," he says gently, tone soft and strangely honest.

"Sleepover it is," you declare brightly; you think you might catch sight of a blush on his cheeks as he leaves.

And when you wake up to a faint jostling, and the room fairly dark now that the stream has obviously ended, you see Sapnap hovering above you, hand gentle on your shoulder.

"Still alright for you to be here?"

"'s your bed, 's up to you," you yawn, wriggling around a little, words only half thought recollections from your earlier bit escaping you, "I love you; give me kiss on the noggin," you mumble insistently, before adding, far sweeter and dreamier, "come cuddle me, it's okay to cuddle the homies." Perhaps, if you were more awake, you would be concerned that it was too much, considering you're tucked into his damn bed. Thankfully, however, he gives a fond chuckle, and even obligingly gives a quick kiss on the forehead.

You wake up with his arm around you, and when you make a gentle shift, he pulls you a little closer.

You consider your half asleep mind a traitor to the part of your mind that's kind of pining for him, since now all you want to do is kiss him all over his damn face to wake him up. But you can't.

You take what you can get, and you let yourself fall back to sleep.

The way he talk about it as the two of you eat a late breakfast together with Dream is so casual, so comfortable.

"I mean, I get it now, it's just nice, you know, like, like-"

"Pack instinct," Dream fills in, and Sapnap's expression lights up.

"Exactly!" Then, looking down into his bowl, his tone turns a little bashful, "I actually so worried that I would feel left out here sometimes, but like, I've never felt like that; you guys... it's still so weird sometimes but it's good weird, you know?"

"I'm going to cry," you coo, leaning over to wrap him up in a tight hug.

"For the record, I don't have cooties or anything if you're feeling like you wanna crash with me," Dream offered sincerely, "pack instinct is nice."

"Single beds are a social construct," you grin. Sapnap matches your energy and enthusiasm, just as he always has.

It has taken a very short time for you and Dream to give up the illusion of being normal, and the same amount of time for Sapnap to take that all in stride.

It's terrible for your heart, but you're still managing to keep your mouth shut. For now.

----

On a hard drive you find in the very bottom of the desk draw you'd just used as a junk drawer, you find a folder labelled 'Potential' and then a sub folder labelled 'bully dream compilation question mark'. For your part, after opening a few videos, it's clear that you had no idea what would become of any of you. You were just trying to be like the YouTubers you looked up to; the irony.

No facecam, questionable framerate, terrible audio, but you still find yourself overwhelmed as you realise the earliest recording you have is of yourself, Dream, George, and Sapnap in a server, and a four-way Skype call together, over six years ago.

"- Dream will never admit he loves me, but his mom loves me, so nothing else matters," you answer, tone lofty and unmistakably teenage.

"Fine, I love you but I'm not weird about it," Dream huffs, sulky, his bleeding heart still managing to shine through his performative, edgy exterior of the time.

"Ugh, there's no fun in that!"

"Don't make me suffer because you're into reading angsty soulmate, AUs right now," he sniped back.

"You say that like you didn't give me the name of your Wattpad account," you lord the information over him, and you know on the other side of the call, he's making a face.

"What do you even mean, to be loved in a weird way?" George asks, blithe and confused.

"Like Frankenstein?" You try, but it comes out more like a question, "like in the book?"

"As if you've read Frankenstein," Dream snorts, though its clear his mood has improved considerably. You make a frustrated noise in the back of your throat at being called out.

"I'd love you in a weird way," Sapnap laughs, "as long as I get to be Frankenstein."

"Okay, yeah, if I get to be Frankenstein I'll agree to love you in a weird way," Dream chimes in, but both you and Sapnap talk over him, essentially telling him he'd lost his opportunity.

"Too late, Dream, you had your chance; Sapnap's my favourite now." Before the clip ends, you hear Sapnap cheer in triumph, George laughs, and Dream simply groans.

It takes you a long time to recover from watching that clip, sitting in your desk chair, eyes wide and glassy. The joke had begun six years ago, with no idea how any of your worlds would change, would shape in the future.

But here and now, you realise you would like to let the joke die. All three of them are your favourite, in their own, distinct way. All important to you.

You put the hard drive back in your drawer, and try to pinpoint when joking about being in romantic love with Sapnap actually stopped being a joke. Not that you'd ever want to admit it, but it was much longer ago than you'd consciously realised.

----

You should have known that Dream would be the one to pick up on it. Sometimes - actually, only right in this moment - you resented how long you'd known each other, how well you knew each other. It's Friday afternoon, Sapnap's streaming, you're researching for your next video, and Dream's... loitering.

"Don't look at me like that," you mutter as you glare at you're computer; you're pretty sure he's not even looking at you. Honestly you'd hazard a guess and say he's still probably in the same place he was when you'd glanced over your shoulder at him about three minutes ago; sitting on your bed with his legs crossed, doubled over with his whole face pressed into Patches' side.

"I'm not looking at you," he says flatly, muffled by cat fur, as you suspected.

"Your vibes are looking at me; say what you want to say or take your vibes elsewhere."

Patches is purring loudly, you're typing away furiously, and for the moment, Dream is silent. An adorable meow turns into a yawn behind you, and Dream gives a fond hum in response, but you press your lips into a thin line and act like you still don't know why he's here. After a moment, you make kissy noises, and a high-trill; Patches immediately perks up and leaves her spot on Dream's lap to rub herself against your legs, and climb into your lap. You both know it's petty, but you still refuse to look at him.

"I'm not making things weird, he hasn't noticed, I'm not hurting anyone by having a crush; it'll go away," you insisted, finally breaking the silence, and Dream lets out an irritated groan, throwing himself back on your bed.

"You're making yourself miserable -"

"I'm not -"

"You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me!" He cries, and your hands go still on your keyboard for a moment. Looking down, Patches is looking up at you; you like to think there's care in her eyes, but you're not certain. She starts purring. "I know you better than that," Dream's voice is soft, "I knew before we even asked him to move in."

"And you still asked?"

"I admit I didn't think playing fuckin' matchmaker with my two best friends who are clearly into each other would take this long -"

Wait, what?

"So he's not..." You cut him off before you can even properly process, "you know he's not joking? All that stuff we say, it's..." you turn slowly to face him, scratching Patches little head as you find yourself thinking back on every interaction you'd shared with Sapnap over the past few years.

"I love you both you guys," he sounds like a deeply disappointed father trying to talk his kid through the simplest process, "but you're embarrassingly slow on the uptake; I literally had to ask him how long he'd, like, legit been into you, and I think I actually saw a lightbulb go off above his head -" he pauses, angling his head to level a smirk at you, "the answer is longer than he will ever admit, and definitely longer than he realised, by the way."

"You're a snitch," you tell him, all kinds of fond and grateful despite the words themselves. Right up until he seems to take that as some kind of go-ahead and gives a sharp grin, pulling out his phone. After a few moments, you hear a crash from upstairs -

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" Sapnap's voice fills the entire house, furious and horrified; Dream is on his feet in an instant, at your window, opening it -

"What the fuck did you do?!" You hissed as he somehow already as a leg out, dangling over the garden bed outside your window. You look from Dream to your computer, opening Twitch into a new tab despite Dream wearing a shit-eating grin and wedging himself out of your window, simply telling you that he was speeding things up.

"I love you guys, everything will work out; talk like adults!" He insisted, as if he just hadn't managed to fill the house with chaos in less than a minute. Patches makes a break for the window, but thankfully Dream scoops her up as she leaps out.

According to your screen, Sapnap's stream ended thirty seconds ago.

The door to your room opens right as your whole torso is out your window, calling threats after Dream as he made his way through the back yard to the back door.

"I'm going to beat you to death with your bullshit expensive keyboard!"

"Get in line," you hear from behind you, and when you haul yourself back into your room, you turn to see Sapnap wearing a scowl, looking at the open window, "did he really leave through your window? What a child," he huffed.

"What did he send to you?" You ask, frown adorning your own features, something protective and angry in your chest.

"What do you - what do you mean? I thought- he was just in here, didn't he tell you -?" He presses his lips together, irate and flustered.

"He says a lot of things; what did he send to you, are you okay?"

It takes Sapnap a few moments to let go of his initial burst of confusion and fury, but as he does, he can't meet your gaze, shifting, leaning against your doorframe. You think you hear the back door, but you let it slide.

"Nothing, he - nothing, I'm paranoid," Sapnap takes a deep breath, though there's a flush to his cheeks, "I'm being stupid, you know? And, like, yeah kinda massively paranoid," he huffs out a long breath, sagging against your doorframe and looking at his hands, "I - we just talked a few days ago and you guys are like, drift compatible as hell so I was so worried he'd say something, or you'd figure it out -"

"Was it..." you paused, and finally, he looks to you, nervousness suddenly written all over his face, "I don't know how to say this in a way that isn't blunt," you give a faint, humourless laugh, "looking back, do you know when it stopped being a joke?"

"What?" He asks softly, eyes wide, expression hesitant. It takes you a moment, but it feels like the right moment.

"I'm in love with you." No audience, but there is a faint, adoring smile on your face, "we've established this."

He blinks at you, once, twice, then he slowly stands to his full height.

"When it stopped being a joke?" He asks as he comes to the realisation of what you meant, what you've just said, "for me?" Behind him, you see Dream giving you a thumbs up as he carries Patches upstairs. So you pull Sapnap into your room, closing the door behind him. Privacy, or as much as can be expected.

"You're in love with me?" His tone is genuinely curious, even a little hopeful, as he sits on the edge of your bed.

"I love you, but I'm also, yeah, I'm in love with you," you nod once, while trying to mask the way your stomach was doing nervous somersaults, "if that's okay with you."

"Of course it's- dude, of course it's okay- that snitch told you I loved you, right? Well he wasn't lying," suddenly bright and full of joy, Sapnap's grin is blinding. He reaches out; you've been standing, hovering in the middle of the small room, but you gladly take his hand. Pulling you back to him, you stand in the space he makes for you, holding his face gently as he looks up at you for the moment.

"This the end goal for your ten year plan?" You asked faintly, amusement creasing at the corners of your eyes, and it takes him a moment to catch up, to remember, but you get to see the mirth as it paints its way across his features.

"Something like that..."

"True love and shit?" You tease, and he flushes with embarrassment.

"Shut up," he groans, though he's not mad when you chose to lean in and kiss him as answer instead. It's hard to describe the peace that settles in your chest when you finally get to kiss him, warm and passionate and tasting inexplicably like finally, finally, finally. The warmth that blooms in your chest when you're around spreads through you, from the tips of your fingers as you wrap your arms around his neck, to the ends of your toes as your enthusiasm has you overbalancing, tipping back until you're suddenly hovering above him as he grins up at you from your bed.

You've been here before, been held tight and burning with the way he keeps you close, but you laugh breathlessly now, murmuring that you love him against his lips as it feels like the words might overwhelm you if you didn't speak them out loud, if you didn't make sure he heard them, if you didn't make sure he knew they were the truth. He revels in hearing them, and says it back without hesitation, hands warm and secure and familiar in a way that's both grounding and electrifying all at once.

Somehow, despite the axis of your world shifting, things with Dream don't feel out of place. You threaten to spear tackle him as you hug him at his desk, face pressed against his shoulder.

"Don't get it all twisted, I meddled for purely selfish reasons;" he pauses, but doesn't look away from his game before he explains, "it makes me happy to see you guys happy." He's trying not to smile. He's failing miserably.

And while you don't confirm anything officially online, you also don't hide anything. You call each other cute nicknames, and make each other laugh just as you always have. You sit in on parts of his stream, and you kiss his cheek before you leave. It's one of the most clipped segments from his stream in recent memory, only topped by the clip of you yawning and stretching and mumbling about how you need to go to bed, and you lean in to kiss him quickly before you stand. You don't leave, you walk through the back of the frame and flop directly onto Sapnap's bed.

The people around you know.

"They're so cute together, it's so sweet honestly," Karl gushes in the few moments Sapnap steps away from a joint stream and chat asks him what he thinks of the two of you.

"You guys are gross I think I'm going to stay in England forever actually," George jokes on stream a few weeks later after Sapnap brings you food and kisses you on the temple, and you'd explained the little non-verbal bits of communication around the house, "it's just knocking and kisses, that sounds kind of horrific," but you know he's grinning despite himself.

When you hit your sub goal and agree to film a video of you finally attempting to dip Sapnap, you leave 'and kiss him sweetly on the lips' out of the official wording, but it still makes it to the final cut. Even after all the times you drop him; he laughs it off, though you still make sure he's alright. There's so many outtakes that don't make it, but that you treasure, quietly, overwhelmed seeing how loving the look in your eyes is as you watch each other.

"Why'd I let her drop me all those times? Why'd I agree to that video in the first place?" Sapnap finds himself growing defensive on stream after you post the video, frowning into his camera, "it's simple, actually -" and he pulls the microphone so close to his mouth his lips are against the pop filter, though before he can even say anything, he seems to be interrupted by something at his door, and he gestures for you to come in. Bemused, you agree, trotting over and gladly taking your place in his lap as he offered it. It takes a moment for him to reangle the microphone to get the comedic effect, but finally he gets there, glaring into the barrel of his camera, and voice loud and overbearing for effect as he peaks his microphone.

"Because I'm in love with her, obviously. Next question."

[lashton-is-my-drug]

5SOS Royal Albert Hall 'The Feeling of Falling Upwards' Fan Q&A

Luke and Ash (Lashton notes) during the Royal Albert Hall Fan Q & A Pre-show (Includes video)

- Luke is mostly focused on, staring at Ash, right from the very start and A LOT throughout (and not just staring, but it’s the way he’s staring at him a lot of the time).

- Laughing a lot at each others jokes, though that’s nothing new for them. Luke thinks Ash is the funniest person on the fucking planet (so adorable).

- A lot of the time there’s this tension between them, I don’t know how to class it (maybe its sexual but idk), but it’s easy to see if you focus on just them.

- Luke and Ash are wearing their matching onyx rings. Luke black onyx, Ash new blue sapphire ring which matches style of Ash’s matching black onyx one. (Blue sapphire = 5 year anniversary from when they lived together in 2017)

- Luke wearing his rainbow shirt. He started wearing it in Ireland on TMH tour, but he has worn it many times ever since. Meaning it wasn’t just for that occasion. It meant something.

- Luke, as Ash is intro’ing the show, remarks about Ash having his “soft voice on”, then (what seems like to appease to Luke’s comment) keeps talking in that same soft voice, then after a couple sentences Ash clears his throat to bring himself back to the matter at hand of intro’ing the show. (10:37)

- Luke brings up yet again about the band being like a marriage. (There’s interviews that the guys say that the band comes first even before women. This sentiment has been brought up for years and years now. There’s a specific interview where Luke and Ash say they prioritize 1. Band, 2. Family 3. The gfs, Luke is quick to say band always comes first when you’re in a relationship. Ash even talks about celebrating his sisters birthday instead of the “lady he sees” when they happened at the same time. There’s something about how he says “I see this lady” like he could've just as well talking about his hairdresser or something LOL, there’s a Zach Sang one where Luke says the home life suffers a bit)

- (4:40) Luke holds himself back from making a joke, apparently not suitable for the livestream, about being open in the studio, Ash immediately starts to laugh.

- (6:30) Ash reads a question about what should be a first dance wedding song. Luke immediately interrupts before Ash can answer by saying “ bad omens”, then Ash in a soft way says “dude get out of my way here” and they proceed to giggle. Then Luke says it’s “something we have to work on later”. So, think back to Luke’s comment about marriage just moments before), Ash “this is my headspace”. (7:10) Then Ash gives the answer of “Older” with a stutter, then Michael laughs as it feels a bit awkward, so then Ash quickly moves on to next question, throwing to VT.

- Michael says the message they want to get across for this album is “the relationship between the four of us, and the feeling of falling upwards”. The album is about them/5SOS. (My note: "Complete Mess" originated as a romantic song, but then the mv showed the dynamic between each of them).

- (13:00) Fan question about listening to songs for the first time. Luke says “the first time you listen back, you dim the lights, or maybe you’re in Ashton’s convertible, thats a nice feeling too” *Ash goes quiet and looks down to the floor* Luke continues on, “If we’re all together we dim the lights and it feels triumphant.” This insinuates that Luke and Ash listen to songs together, just the two of them for the first time in Ash’s convertible. It’s a separate thing than with all the band together.

(14:00) Calum remarks about believing everything that he’s told. Ash’s sarcastic remark of “that’s the spirit” with a head shake. (This insinuates there could be narratives being told to him. Or, he's just plain mocking how the general public and the fans believes things that they're told, without question.)

- Answering question about being “the masters of friendship”… Michael teases like a bff would that Luke is still learning to.

- (15:37) Fan question about how the band is so good at friendship and calls them “masters of friendship”. Calum says “relationship or friendship” at the beginning of his answer, when the question they were asked was about friendships.

- Luke saying towards Ash “just pictured you walking up to you” after Ash answers the question of what he would tell his younger self. The guys would take the blue line, then the red line which brought them to Hyde Park (across the street from RAH). On the album there’s a song called “Red Line” which is the train route they would take, while living in London, to go to songwriting sessions. Also, this reminds me about the train they all ride in the “Old Me” music video.

- (23:00) Luke’s favorite lyric answer from the album “I like the ashtray one in Take My Hand, I like the cocaine colored wedding dress in Older” then looks over at Ash. (The lyric in “Old Me” that has the double meaning of Ashes/Ash is, the 5sos twitter account RT’d fanart which made the same connection, by making Ash’s face onto an ashtray). Ash’s answer to fave line is “mine is, I’m still making sense of having nothing left to save… ouch”. Calum’s line as he’s looking at Ash like Ash probably wrote it “beautiful moment in time, it comes and goes in waves, and when I open my eyes, I hope I see your face”, during that line Ash does a surfing type motion. There’s a history of Luke and Ash learning to surf together and posting their surfing dates and Luke quoting Ash to his post when Ash doesn’t go with him on a surfing trip “looks like he can surf but he cannot.” That’s what popped into my mind.

- Fan Question: “What has been your biggest challenge as a band. Have you been able to overcome that challenge? If so, how?”

Ash answer is first ribbing on Calum’s bass playing then switching to complimenting his playing, like a bandmate bff does. “Biggest challenge for me is, as life moves on and gets more complicated, it gets harder to see what we naturally were at the beginning. *looks over at Luke* as we get further and further away so the challenge is to re-meet our childlike selves that involve ourselves with 5 seconds of summer and reattach to that beauty and simplicity. Do that all the time” Luke “that’s a great answer man”.

- Luke “we’re gonna throw to VT, I gotcha” Ash “gotcha”

- Fan question: “If you could chose one really memorable and defining moment over the last 10 years, that has really struck you artistically or personally, what would it be?”

Michael “My answer would probably be our first trip writing this, the second trip was great but the first was really great. That stands out to me a lot” *Luke nodding*. “An amazing time just making the 10 year anniversary thing, was amazing. Everything leading up to this show would be memorable to me. And pretty awesome.”

Luke “so you're saying recent stuff”

Michael “yeah, yeah, I think I’m more of a recent brain.”

Ash “I’m with you. It definitely seems like things are getting better all the time. *looks at Luke* its amazing”

“Luke and Ash deep in staring at each other*

Luke to Ash “Thats what we said in Carry On”

Ash’s very soft voice with a meaningful smile to Luke while reassuring “yeah… yeah”. 🥰

- At the end when they are figuring out where to throw to (aka what's next).

Ash “I think we throw to us on stage”

Luke “That’s a great throw” (pick someone supportive)

(I'm including this just for fun lol )

Ash “And if youre lucky, you might see Calum’s pajamas”

Ash doing a throwback to the earlier silly conversation.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Are you a serious cockles shipper, or do you just do it for fun? No hate either way lol just wondering

okay i’m putting this under a readmore because it’s embarrassing to talk about in front of 20k people. this is my cockles manifesto:

i am, as a rule, not into rpf shipping. i have no problem with people who are, it just feels kind of weird and invasive to me so i generally avoid it.

however, i have been here since 2012, and the sheer level of unabashed shenanigans that have been beamed into my eyeballs, paired with my intuitive understanding of body language, have convinced me that misha and jensen do in fact have a private romantic/sexual relationship.

BUT i have to make it clear that i don’t mean that in a “cheating on their wives” way, but in a polyamory way - which isn’t much of a stretch, considering that we know misha and his wife are poly, and vicki literally wrote ‘the threesome’s handbook’. almost every single cockles shipper loves vicki and danneel, we are not about disrespecting or hating them whatsoever. 

now, i KNOW that saying that i believe the actors who portray my otp are in a secret relationship makes me sound insane, believe me i’m aware of that, but i’m not saying it lightly or without evidence. those of us who’ve been around a while know that it’s treated as basically an open secret in the spn fandom and among the spn cast, who very frequently make comments and allusions to them being together. jared has made SO many comments that people make posts collecting them, like this one and this one. like i said, it’s basically an open secret (like that time the show said “they’re a couple in real life”). here’s some Highly Suspicious Stuff: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14/15, 16, 17, 18, 19/20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43

i mean... 

but it’s important to make clear that if either of them EVER seemed uncomfortable with us shipping them and making jokes and comments, i would absolutely stop. i respect them and i don’t ever want to make them feel creeped out or like their privacy is violated. but the thing is, they not just ‘not uncomfortable’, they very deliberately egg us on. misha loves to make ‘cockles’ puns, they happily do silly photo ops implying they’re together, and they both love to post photos of themselves together, knowing quite well how we go crazy for it. 

like the above selfie, where they posed chest to chest, and this actual ‘anniversary’ photo jensen posted, celebrating ten years of the first time he took misha out to dinner, actually tracking down the same restaurant and the same table.

or these really adorable photos of the boat trip they took with both their families:

and of course the beloved sunset photo:

every time they have a panel together (which usually only happens at the yearly roman convention known as jibcon), their antics get wilder. the first time i went “wait...” was in 2013, when they dry-humped onstage.

and by 2019, we have jensen eagerly throwing himself down on the stage (to reenact a scene between castiel and sam) so misha could get on top of him and mime choking him, and then pretty obviously getting a boner because of it (video). oh and i can’t possibly leave out the kissing (bonus gifs, and more), or the panel where jensen got drunk and opened his pants to show misha his underwear.

their body language around each other is so different from how they are around anyone else (except their wives). like, you can see how jensen and jared love each other and what good friends they are by how they play off each other and have an easy camaraderie, but as soon as jensen gets around misha, he can’t take his eyes off him. he stares, he giggles like a fool over not-that-funny jokes (we call it his unicorn laugh), he looks absolutely besotted, and they’re constantly gravitating to each other and touching each other in really intimate ways: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

honestly, there have been so many Shenanigans over the last 12 years that i can’t even remember them all, or find them all in my archives. there’s been clothes sharing/swapping, there’s jensen’s inexplicable kink for misha’s bad accents, the time misha reenacted the fake orgasm scene from when harry met sally and jensen, um, liked it (bonus), their matching bracelets and rings (and another ring), how very enthusiastic jensen is about calling misha “dmitri”, how jensen grumpily insists he can’t remember last week but jumps at the chance to tell the story of how he met misha and the first time he went to dinner with misha and misha told the server to bring them “the three least ordered dishes on the menu” (seriously, they tell the story of how they met all the time), the number of times they’ve been suspiciously late to their autograph and photo op sessions...

here’s some more adorable: 

gag reel compilation 

resume battle 

“i love you” 

best moments compilation 

really bad dancing 

gently bullying 

jensen praising misha 

jensen gushing over misha 

lowkey hand-holding 

“i’d take jensen home” 

bickering 

the time misha tried to sneak up but jensen could see him in the monitor 

knock knock 

supportive jensen 

“you drew the black penis?” 

destiel or cockles?? 

bowtie adjusting 

jensen losing his fucking mind over meeting a dog named misha 

whatever this is?? 

some sdcc shenanigans 

shenanigans 

“aloha, cowboy” 

when jensen pied misha 

“dapper as always” 

the way jensen likes being bossed around... (bonus angle)

that time jensen tried to facetime misha so he could participate in a panel 

“who said it” game 

misha gazing at jensen

stuck in the space pants together 

2011 jibcon highlights 

blowing a kiss 

jensen straddling misha on set 

that time misha accidentally (?) tweeted out a cockles post, 

jensen elbowing jared because he wants to play foosball opposite misha 

the mirroring compilation

“who doesn’t love freckles?”

jensen falls over laughing because misha is wearing socks

the infamous reverse french mistake edit

jensen asked misha to autograph his sign

that time they showed up wearing the same suit

cute whispering and giggling

jensen calling misha his ‘pebble’

“how are you?” compilation

jensen brought a shirt to give to misha

“he’s like a little puppy”/”he’s like a little teddy bear”

jensen’s accent kink reappears / and again

"jensen’s the horse”/”my kids have seen jensen having sex many times”

“so it’s like football...”

jensen reminiscing on when they met

and look, despite all that, it’s honestly not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking, or anything sexual at all. whatever they actually are, they love each other, they make each other happy, and getting to see it makes me happy. it’s something good in the world, these two sweet idiots loving each other and letting us see the fact that they love each other. 

so, uh, i guess to answer your question, i’m serious. but i do try not to cross the line between what happens publicly and what’s private. from what’s shown in public, i draw these conclusions, because, well,

[obeymeluv]

Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.

Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.

Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.

My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:

The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?

Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?

I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?

Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.

End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.

Other thoughts: Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc. 

As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.

What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.

I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content. 

HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)

The facts: 

They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you. 

They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates). 

Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies

Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.

Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache

Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.

Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.

Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.

As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.

Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse. 

Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)

1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking). 

Lucifer:

We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both

You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.

He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks

He’s not sloppy, just cozy. 

Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one

When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair

Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).

Mammon:

GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)

He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything. 

He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that

Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)

The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.

He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut

Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)

Leviathan

Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.

His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.

Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement

The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?

The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants

The loud laugher

He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in

Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well

Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down

Sways when he sits

When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair. 

Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings. 

Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.

Satan:

It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out

He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket

He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger

He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.

The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks

He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games

He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)

Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs

The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy

Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles

Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.

Asmo:

Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.

He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people

He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy

The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.

Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry

Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’

Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.

Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody

If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!

Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.

Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!

The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day

The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.

Beel:

The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol

Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.

Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.

He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else

Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring

Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree. 

Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy

Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.

Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.

He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.

Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.

When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable. 

Belphie:

Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.

His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.

He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent

Will try the funnel drink challenge.

The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.

Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually

The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.

Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.

Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.

The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.

The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!

[soupbabe]

Heard you wanted to be spammed with requests-

So uh- Idk if you do platonic headcanons but- maybe platonic Stardust crusaders with a pillar crusader? Doesn't matter what,,, gender the bby pillar person is,,, just,,, sweet pillar babe who's tall af- and totally acts like a doofus at times---

You dont have to do this tho uvu

Stardust Crusaders + Pillarman! Reader HCs

It says Pillar*man* in title, but reader will be gender neutral, I think that's just the species (?) name! Also I like doing platonic requests so I don't mind doing this at all ! <3

Joseph Joestar

He met you around the time he met Santana

You were stuck in the same Pillar as the youngest pillarman, also playing the role of a guard dog before you were turned into stone

The main difference between you and your (uh forced adopted?) brother is that your face broke out in a huge smile and giggles filled the room when he booped your nose and told you to be happy

You were loyal to Kars, but throughout the time in Battle Tendency that decreased due to the realization that he never cared about you and did abandon you without thought

Joseph was there to comfort you through it and you helped in defeating Kars in return

After BT, you were sent to be studied at the Speedwagon Foundation and years later they were able to replicate the red stone of Aja for you

Ultimate Y/N ! Ultimate Y/N !

Sunburn no more

You became a nature deity, similar to Kars

First thing you did when the study was done was prank Joseph into thinking that the Ultimate Lifeform came back

Although it didn't work all too well, your forced down smile and stifled giggles definitely wasn't a sign of Kars, despite the mighty wings you sprouted

You lived with Suzi Q and Joseph for the majority of your new life and you adored being apart of their lives

Also they did make you babysit Holly numerous times even though you had no idea what a human baby looked like until now

Should've learned their lesson when one time you were caught making a rough sketch of what would have been a traditional pillarman tattoo on a 10 year old Holly, claiming that it's needed for her to grow up big and strong like you

Although you weren't a stand user, you had experience fighting ancient supernatural beings stronger than some stand users and you were a deity among men. Joseph didn't wait to take you with him when he found out that Dio was making a return

When Holly got sick and it was clear the crusaders had to go to Egypt, you didn't hesitate to sign up. It was a rare time that you were serious and your loyalty to your aged best friend shined through. You loved his family and you saw Holly grow up, of course you'd be there for him

Throughout SDC, you mostly just laughed at him (mostly during the fight with Mariah) and cracked jokes with him to ease tense situations

Also that bit at the end of the show where he pretended that Dio possessed his body?? He got that from you and you both laughed while Jotaro gave you both a glare

Iggy

Oh my god you barked back.

Y'all gossip with each other in dog, you're a nature deity, of course you can understand him perfectly

Added bonus of your powers is that he naturally relaxes with you

Sleepy gremlin

Jotaro Kujo

It took him a while to warm up to you

You were raised by Kars and Esidisi, dealing people who come off as cold and have occasional outbursts of anger come natural to you

He first doesn't think of you as anything when he first saw you

It wasn't until you sized him up, easily towering over the 6'5" teen, his eyes widened in astonishment a little

He has no problems with you, you're respectful to his mother and you respect his privacy for the most part

You're real bonding moment was when you made a lame, but fairfly obscure, fish pun when beating up the stand user of Dark Blue Moon

You both talked about marine life, he was genuinely interested in your experiences with ancient marine species and types of life before evolution made them what they were today

Although he doesn't like the happy go lucky types of people (they remind him of his annoying fangirls) you'll be the exception

A moment you both really became friends was in the Steely Dan fight

You shot your hand up in excitement, offering to aid in beating the hell out of the cocky bastard that mistreated Jotaro and Joseph

It was a good moment for you both to have light hearted banter and you ended the fight with a smile and a high five

Although persuading Joot to do the high five went more like: "Jotaro please" "No." "Pleassseeeeeee" "*sigh* Leave me alone after this."

I thank that you can't see stands. I can only imagine the endless lighthearted fights you and Star Platinum would have, you both giving each other proud smiles of how strong your friend has become

Noriaki Kakyoin

You gave a welcoming and cheerful aura when he woke up at the Kujo household

Out of all Crusaders, I do like to think that you would think of Kakyoin as more of a little brother

Probably because you miss Santana a bit tbh, red hair and a more reserved personality?? Easy for that to happen

Although you do make sure to keep that distinction between the two separate beings, gotta be healthy bby

You were one to always encourage him to get more out of his shell and be the friend he deserved

He would encourage you to speak about Pillarman society/culture when you both roomed together

One time you pranked him by giving him a handful cherries and giving him a tiny jumpscare when the cherries actually did turn back into your hand

Sometimes you both make fun of Polnareff together </3

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

,,,,big tall gentle giant? Oh my god he would've melted for you at first

He flirted with you first thing after the fight with Avdol, only to be immediately shut down with your laughter

It's not the first time someone hit on you, but his attempt was so cheesy and bad that it was funny

Don't worry he didn't keep on flirting with you though, it was clear that you weren't interested

That and you told him that you were over 1000 years old

You both were outgoing so it wasn't a big surprise that you two got along so well

He actually enjoys your tales of past fights and how it was like not being able to be in the sun for the longest time

That and he asked for hair care tips, your hair is very beautiful to him and to keep it as such even when you were turned to stone? Impressive

You both are dumbasses together, but you're the one to save his ass all the time

Especially during the first fight with Hol Horse, guns can't kill you and even then your skin can create a harsh shell to soften the blow

You just laughed it off, said that it tickled, and encouraged Polnareff to chase after the (now) frightened cowboy

You and Polnareff also have a lot in common too and you both are able to be for each other when it comes to Polnareff's grief over his sister and you technically being the only pillarman alive

Omg Y/N I can't believe you have yourself an emotional support himbo I'm jealous

You're also a wingman/wingwoman for him, years and years of experience (and using Joseph in his younger years as a "what not to do" reference) led you to being the perfect helper in getting whoever Polnareff wants

Muhammad Avdol

He's read about the Pillarmen, but he never thought that they were actually real

So when he met you he was flabbergasted

You and Avdol's friendship is like him unintentionally parenting a 7 foot 5 year old on one of those kid leashes

He knows that almost nothing can cause you great harm, but he still worries

Because of that his favorite form of hanging out with you involves chatting over tea or showing you foods you might not be aware of

In all honesty, it's greatly appreciated since your diet switched from vampires and humans to absorbing like 2-3 raw cows every other week. Your "palate" is not as expansive as you may think

While in India, you were able to buy some Henna and Avdol was very open to you giving him a mock Pillar tattoo

He wore it with pride and was very greatful

Sometimes when he gets homesick you make your arm into a chicken, and although it isn't the real thing, he appreciates it

You also show him ancient Pillar rituals too and it's his favorite thing to listen to

In return, you bother him to show you how to read tarot and tell him about (in your words) "occult business~"

You balance each other out and Avdol cherishes you greatly

When the mission to Egypt was over, he did name a chicken after you btw