#THATS WHAT YOU GO BY THOUGH?... what's the harm??
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bro i think my supervisor is one of those people who doesn't believe in pronouns oh my god
#piko stuff#messaged me specifically to remove the “she/her” from her email signature (pronouns r standard procedure in our email signatures)#THATS WHAT YOU GO BY THOUGH?... what's the harm??#has said some other stuff that's made me go “hm” in the past but were plausibly just poorly worded#i like her otherwise but bruh be fr that's like if i removed your name. you literally go by that who cares#also this email went out to like 13 people who cares????????
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also since the show this is how i disappear has taken on a really interesting, more menacing tone in my mind... probably has to do with my interpretation of video of the spider in the set waiting for and consuming the smaller spider (there was a lot of shit going on around me) that to me reads as like. i need to consume you to survive. i will wait patiently for you to come to me and then i will destroy you so i can live. this is the only thing i know. and then at the ending i saw a ton of smaller spiders, maybe killing the larger one together? which then says you will need to kill me if you want to be the one to live and when you do live you will thrive. but only with me gone forever.
which is SO fascinating to deliver alongside "im really not so with you anymore, im just a ghost so i cant hurt you anymore"... i always saw tihid as being desperately dependent on someone or something and the speaker either lashes out in their fear and/or hates themself so deeply they believe their every action to be wrong but with the background it makes it seem darker than that. the line still exists but it could then be interpreted as "the only way i know how to be with you is to hurt you and with you drawing away i feel myself drawn deeper into a solitary self destructive spiral. you are gone and without you to feed off of i am starving to death" and that is sooooo creepy and interesting to me
#and this is based off me trying to see whats on the screen while more crowdsurfers were attempting to kill me#and this may have been the 'correct' understanding of the song all along and im just stupid but ive really been enjoying thinking about it#the part of the line though thats like YOU WANT TO SEE HOW FAR DOWN I CAN SINK? LET ME GO!#i think still lines up more with my original interpretation where the speaker wants to be left for dead rather than continue the harm they#perceive themself to be doing whether real or imaginary but. let me ponder#or wait it could literally be like a guilt trip threat like do you want me to suffer? you want to leave me and let me rot alone?#although with the tone its said in i still think theres likely more 'real' desperation in it like painfully trying to tear#themself away but the person still keeps trying to reach out and care which to the speaker is still putting them in danger just by being#present#idk. multiple interpretations!
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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#that urge to delete everything and disappear is hitting again.#sometimes it feels like having an online presence is more harmful than it is good.#if im going onto a website or a platform and getting upset more times than im not whats the purpose in using the site.#cant just up and cut everyone and thing out of my life though#that would hurt so many good people#no running. not again.#and yet i cant help but feel responsible for it all. i cant help but get upset about everything thats happened this year.#i cant help but feel like im fundamentally broken. that i cant heal or be better.#i dont know that i deserve to sometimes but i keep trying and trying#i feel like i owe it to others in a similar postion#how would everyone ive known feel if i was just. gone one day?#what if i died tomorrow.#what would happen to the people i care about#my pet cat#do i even really know what it means to care about others anymore?#do i do it right or do i ruin everything i touch.#maybe it would be better if i stopped trying. gave in. just once. im so tired.#just stopped trying. after all ive always been told i was never any good.#screaming into the void. doing all i can not to give into these harmful urges against myself all the time.#i want to be loved and cared for. i just think sometimes i dont know what that is.#maybe i cant learn. maybe i cant heal.#then again maybe i can. i guess maybe thats why im still here.#i hope someday i can believe that im truly cared for and that i won't be abandoned again.#losing people makes you feel jaded and hurt. although i understand why what happened#happened.
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it's not going too well
#cw vent#but#:[ i feel so baaad about it idk#one of the only things im known for in school is self harm and i dont wanna go back tomorrow#and now it feels like sh is basically my only recognisable thing#so everytime i look down at my arms and see scars fading away i just feel so terrible about it#what am i doing? why am i not cutting myself tahts what im meant to do thats what ive always done!! thats all anubody wants from me#i kinda really don't like how#basically everykne in my school really doesn't like me much cuz all i really have going is that i cut myself#have autism#and may or may not be a tranny#even though all of those things are things that are true qnd i dont even think they're bad things#i just. i dunno. i feel bad. like genuinely they have one thing they want me to do#and thats hurting myself!! but im not even doinf that right now#this is so dumb. all my problems are dumb as fuck huh#im so scared of school now#its not even just how the people act#when i go into the corridors there are so many people#so when im finally alone it always feels like theres someone behjdn me. its scaring meee i dunno. i hate school#please dont make me go back tgere. wait no what do you mean this is gonna be another three or so years#and even after those threes years i still have to go to university.. and get a job#this is the rest of my life i think and that makes me sad#i really tried to like school i tried so so hard to like school#but its so difficult. too many people too many noises#too many rumours and too many ableists#there are also too many tags on this post#but rlly the bad part of school has never been the work for me. im a dumbass but i do like learning#weh. dont make me go back. can i sleep for 72 hours instead of going to school#i hate walking into that stupid building everyday and being able to feel everybodys eyes go onto me#its all so scary. i should stop venting on here but i probably won't im sorry
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i went on a walk and came back 60% more evil
#snap chats#you know that meme of spiderman holding back the bus while a kids walking across the street thats me @ myself right now#STOPPPP STOP BEING SAD STOP THINKING OF SAD THINGS TO DRAW OUUUUUGGGH theyd be SOOOO nice tho..#NOOOOO STOPPPPP its JUST angst for Everyone involved#this is what i mean my dad a fucking LIAR he be like 'go on a walk to feel better :)' father i came back with the intent to harm#with the intent to harm all ten people invested in the arakawa family i have come to be cruel#but NO. NO i said no more. wheres that electric fly swatter i need one of those#i have CUTE and WHOLESOME things on the menu THAT is the OBJECTIVE#my mental health keeps getting worse and it shows im trying to fight it with family fun time#who tf made that graphic of the mate in charge of ghibli movies and he's depressed as all hell im tryna live like that#i might be dying inside but let me make something pretty at LEAST#okokok let me actually start drawin onea them sweet things. the urge to lie down all day is strong but i shant i must be stronger#also dont walk outside it hot as hell out. im built like a lizard though thats perfect for me#but tryna sit in a cold place afterwards No Thanks.#ok my head hurts bye lets see if i come back with anything or the apathy wins
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i feel like the popular image of paranoia is looking out a window peeking through the blinds like hmmm thats suspicious and while it certainly can look like that i feel like that doesnt really capture the thoughts or the mindset or the reasoning of it, to the point that it took me kind of a long time to recognize my own experience of paranoia. for me its like everyone is being very hostile to you and i just accept it as reality without question. the looking out the window seems very passive and observational whereas when im paranoid im actively defending myself. im fighting back and being confrontational and accusing people of trying to harm me. and its hard to even notice im doing it sometimes
#i do look out the window like that though#i tried to make dew act it out in blur turns to haze but he wasnt really communicating at all so its just his thoughts#but when he was thinking others (rain and also the infirmary staff) were trying to harm him thats paranoia to me#and also that people were talking about him#not “oh im worried someone is talking about me behind my back” its like literally people are straight up talking about you right there#i think its pretty common to think medication is harming you#because well first of all theres truth to that it has bad side effects and its not very good for you#but also theres the interplay of not understanding whats going on and thus not understanding why you would benefit from medication#in the first place that makes it just perplexing and threatening#and theres literally just violence. its true that there are bad things. who am i talking to right now. whats going on#anyway was thinking about this because im making the personal decision to stop one of my medications because im just done with it and i kee#having thoughts. tumblr let me type please#and dont come for me its a very low dose and i think its doing nothing but side effects anyway
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Watched perfect blue. I loved it except that twist at the end really ruined it for me tbh... Was truly hoping for a story of confusion and not ever knowing where or when you are. It basically turns it from "being a celebrity can ruin yer mind" to "actually it was all this fat woman with a stigmatized mental illness' fault everything bad happened to this beautiful thin girl". Really sucks :/
#was hoping itd be a perfect thing to watch after lain and really thought it was gonna be until it turned out to be#yer typical damaging slasher#i love slashers but a lot of them harm trans women. poc. psychopaths and folks with did and schizophrenia and every other mental illness#sighs#i was so hoping for a psychological horror thats more psychological#beautiful art though. singers were terrible though.#do i recommend it? not really. if you want what you thought perfect blue was just go watch black swan. or american psycho#black swan was also kinda meh. sorry#american psycho was very visually interesting and i loved its deconstruction of male privilege#i dont know shit about the ballet industry but it felt like jt said a lot about that as well. i guess?#idk i understood black swan and its metaphors but jt was still kinda meh to me. 7/10#american psycho is a 8/10. its like a popcorn movie to me#perfect blue is a 7/10. amazing visuals and i liked the VA choice for mima. but its just another fatal attraction celeb story#when i thought itd be about a celeb becoming the killer as fame corrupted her#long story short its disappointing for such a popular anime movie. should he grouped together with halloween and friday the 13th
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the way Sheila's described as both being covered in scars and also being a very self destructive person with little care for herself and a desire to die for a good cause (or a very long way of saying she's got suicidal tendencies yet masks it as a form of courage) makes me think she self harms. it wouldn't be out of this world tbh. coping mechanism adopted from her self hatred and a need of punishing herself for being a horrible person. she doesn't know where to put all of those chaotic feelings, and the only way she can redirect it is to herself. not out of character frankly.
#fugo.txt#self harm tw#i always loved how JoJo's is very quick in pointing that suicide is not a way of redeeming yourself or the righteous thing to do#araki has always been very vocal about subversing this thought in the japanese consciousness#and i think kouhei captured that escence perfectly with her. because at a surface she seems like the perfect example of the trope#she wants to die for a righteous cause that she believes in wholeheartedly. her courage rests in her willingness to give her life up#but when you look closer she seems almost... pathetic. doesn't she?#she wants death because she's scared of the next step. horrified by the thought she will have to face someone whos more righteous and just#...better. that thin veil of courage is actually just a lack of self preservation due to complete and utter apathy.#the cause she supposedly believes in and is ready to give up her body and soul to... she just parrots back what shes been told.#when you look close she's just a scared dangerously apathetic and depressed young girl. and that last part is very important#because ive been neglecting the most important part in this puzzle. she's just 15. she's just a little teenager#of course shes scared. of course she does all of this. she's just a fucking kid man.#thats why i think self harm on her part wouldn't be out of the blue#another thing which in the surface seems strong. when its just the product of indescribable emotional pain and anguish#and having absolutely NO support system and NO outlet#because lets remember she literally had no friends. she had nothing. when i mean nothing its fucking nothing#i think Giorno knows what she's going through because he was so close to becoming like her.#though his way of going about changing her mind was certainly... Brutish. lol#giorno vc can't wait to see how Sheila E will come outta this one!! *Sheila E tries to commit suicide* oh.#i love her so much. i get you girl its okay
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omg ally have you seen this https://x.com/robbersatsunset/status/1726272502337589572?s=46
ducklings agenda confirmed 🦆
Oh my god I am SCREAMING LOOK AT THOSE DUCKLINGS that is a whole little family of ducklings omg
LOOK AT THEM
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS TO MY ATTENTION
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#keep it kind#make way for ducklings#the fact that those are in fact a whole lil family of ducklings#and they were on the screen#i cant#i am screaming#i hope to go no one associated with the band has ever seen my fic though#if they have im sorry#its all fake i mean no harm#also... if you have seen it way to not listen to the warning at the beginning thats like if you know anyone in this this is not for you#but omg look how cute those lil baby ducks are#i linked the tweet above#and also pasted the photo in i hope thats ok#im old and not totally sure what the credit giving etiquette is#BUT DUCKLINGS
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( reaction ) unintentionally riding them ! ୨୧ 一 엔시티드림 ՞
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ unintentionally riding nct dream on a rideヾ
boyfriend!엔시티드림・ fem!reader g ・ smut cw ・ nudes , allusions to sex wc ・ n/a | click to library
request. hear me out…… what about nct dream going with yn to that ride disco pang pang and you end up on top of them (idk if you’ve seen a video that’s been going around where a girl is literally riding other girl😭)
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 those rides are scary as hell i couldn't imagine falling into a strangers lap like the video.
﹙ 𐙚 : mark﹚ .ᐟ
he knows you mean no harm; the ride was quite literally tossing you both around , and you just happened to land on him — but it didn't stop his cock from growing inside is jeans. he's stressed , he knows you feel it. “fu-fuck im so sorry.” he said , your face is hot , cheeks are rosy as you feel him beneath you , he's embarrassed , but so turned on , he was gonna cum . “but fuck you feel good , im sorry , im so sorry .” he's just wishing the damn ride would end.
“fuck im sorry but im about to cum.”
﹙ 𐙚 : renjun﹚ .ᐟ
he's embarrassed as hell; but his ass is not about to let you know that. “re-renjun are you hard?” he scoffed , rolling his eyes. “you're straddling me , and this ride is bouncing you on my dick , of course I'm hard , wouldn't you be hard if you were in my position? i know you're probably turned on right now , don't make it seem like it's only me.” he stressed , he's about to cum in his pants and he wasn't about to give you leverage to further tease him. “oh fuck will this ride ever fucking end.”
“we're leaving this fucking amusement park arter this.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jeno﹚ .ᐟ
his hands immediately come to your waist to hold you from falling when the ride tossed you into his lap. “hi.” he tries to smile it off — even though the ride is practically bouncing you on his dick. you're actually the one profusely apologizing , but he pretends that it doesn't even bother him , even though he's hard a fucking rock and you're riding him unintentionally in front of all these people and he has to force himself not to moan. “i don't think i can get up after this.” he said. “it's already embarrassing with you on top of me.”
“i don't want these people to see my dick hard.”
﹙ 𐙚 : haechan﹚ .ᐟ
shameless motherfucker; you would've thought he was already hard before the ride tossed you into the boys lap. “haechan are you serious?” he smirking holding you close by your waist. “you're grinding on top of me and you're confused as to why im hard.” he scoffed , your eyes widened at his sudden brazen attitude , you knew he was a wild card but even this was too much for you. you only come back when he groans , he doesn't even care.
“fuck if this ride doesn't stop soon i’m gonna cum.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jaemin﹚ .ᐟ
with the smirk on his face , you would've thought he orgistrated the entire thing himself , his hands on your waist , meanwhile you're the one who's embarrassed as hell. “why are you so embarrassed?” he knew you could feel his hard on , he could feel you as well. “im-im glad you're having a good time.” you on the other hand , your body was on fire. “I am baby i am.” the ride still tossing you around but he made sure to hold you still.
“but i'm more excited about the time we're about to have when we get off this ride.”
﹙ 𐙚 : chenle﹚ .ᐟ
completely turns it on you; yeah he's the one thats hard , but you're the one on top of him and you're the one who caused it in his eyes , not the ride. “if you wanted to ride me you should've just asked , not force me on this nauseating ride so you can do it shamelessly.” you wanted to slap him so bad , but you were too busy grabbing the bar to keep yourself from flying off. “sh-shut up.” your face hot from embarrassment as you straddled him. “im not gonna cum in my pants like a teenager.”
“but all bets are off when we get off this ride.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jisung﹚ .ᐟ
he wants to kill himself to moment he feels you on top of him; his face is red , he wanted to die — but it felt good and that's what made him feel like a pervert , because it wasn't sexual , but his stupid cock didn't seem to get the message. he swore the person who managed the ride had something against him because the ride was never ending and no matter how many times you tried to get up , the ride was plopping you back into his lap. “ji-jisung.” your hands holding his shoulders , he stops you before you can finish.
“please don't say anything , im sorry , so fucking sorry.”
©LUVYENI
#nct reactions#nct scenarios#nct x female reader#nct x reader#nct smut#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct dream smut#nct dream hard thoughts#nct dream hard hours#nct dream x female reader#nct dream x reader#mark lee smut#mark lee x reader#huang renjun smut#huang renjun x reader#lee jeno x reader#lee jeno smut#lee haechan smut#lee haechan x reader#na jaemin x reader#na jaemin smut#zhong chenle smut#zhong chenle x reader#park jisung x reader#park jisung smut
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❛ 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘆 ❜— ✿ .. deadpool headcanonns!
BEING WADE WILSONS' ONE AND ONLY ❛ WIFE. ❜ !
⋆˚✿˖° — CLINGY! it's honestly feels suffocating. Does he know personal space? of course. does he oblige to that rule? he'd rather dig logans burial.
— it doesn't matter, wade believes that if you love someone you won't let them go, literally.
— you'd always wake up to him tightly hugging you down, his arms and legs hovering your figure. don't think of letting go, cause he'll just grip more.
— expect him to go over your workplace and hang out there till the end of your shift, he won't budge even if the manager threatened to call the cops.
— goodness, he's just so obsessed with your scent, skin, hair, face, lips, arms, ❛boobies❜, and everything. he'd rather cut his head off than avoid you for a solid 3 days.
⋆˚✿˖° — CHILDISH! is wade a grown man that kills people or a child that wants your attention 24/7? Well, he's a child that kills and wants your attention.
— him being your husband feels like your with a child that won't grow up, he loves making a huge mess, doing anything to impress you, even fighting Logan for fun to show off who's stronger.
— wherever you both go, he'd always wander off somewhere; bothering someone or touching things that aren't supposed to be touched. and you're always panicking looking for wade, usually takes a few hours until he magically finds you, or you find him.
— loves likes seeing you angry, he claims that it's ❛super hot❜ and ❛cute, looks like a cat❜, so he'd bother you every unexpected time, whenever you'd read a book he likes to steal it and read it out loud, whenever you're on the verge of slumber; he'd either yell or picture your sleepy state.
— you're like a mother always scolding wade, and thankfully he obeys you, like a guilty child. yet his manners still come back like his life, you will never get tired of him though, and he knows it.
⋆˚✿˖° — OVERPROTECTIVE! your friends call it lovesick, but him and his 'audience' call it protecting! yeah, maybe he did kill your co worker because he called you crybaby, but thats besides the point.
— special forces, mutant, anti-hero, killer; yadayada, he's everything not a simple man could protect, call him delusional but unexpected things happen, you could get assassinated while eating breakfast, or worse. It's not being too weird, it's being considerate.
— definitely forced Logan to look after you once, not that he minds; Logan admires you. and that turned out to you finding out and scolding wade, being a big baby he is— he definitely didn't talk to you.
— ❛whos that in my bosses office??❜ suprise! it's wade holding a gun to your superiors head while waving at you, well because your boss threatened to fire you.
— in realities and seriousness, he doesn't wanna loose you. loosing someone pains him so much, yet being annoying is the only way he can cope. he lost so much people and he can't afford to loose you too. and him being wanted and a so called 'villain' in every story, he knows one day theyll figure you out.
⋆˚✿˖° — LOYAL! before the day you guys talked, he vowed that if he finds himself attach to another woman romantically, he'd hang himself. he loves you and even if you didn't, no one could ever replace you.
— despite lotta girls getting attracted to him, his eyes will be locked at you. his ears and eyes will forever be yours to catch.
— won't hesitate to slam a girls face into a metal table if they'd ever flirt with you, even with him showing you off. What's only stopping him is you not wanting him to harm anyone, and he's definitely obedient when it comes to you.
— define bare minimum, cause he definitely isn't just the minimum. his profiles in every social contains either your face, or you and him. not only profile, also his header and posts, tagging you whenever he interacts with his 'fans' putting "with — y/n wilson" "my wife — y/n Wilson" "fbm —y/n wilson" and anything that contains you.
— would you really doubt your crazy husband and his whatever audience? Looks can deceive and he's the frame for it, honesty and loyalty is his integrity, he vowed to you and shown his loyalty, and he would never break it.
⋆˚✿˖° ❛iris — tggd❜ , ❛she will be loved — M5❜.
#⋆˚✿˖° . mcu core#marvel#deadpool#marvel x reader#deadpool x reader#wade wilson x reader#xmen x reader#x men comics#x force#deadpool vs wolverine#deadpool headcanonns#x force x reader#xmen fanfiction#xmen#wade wilson#ar ar grrr#deadpool 3
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Unhinged idea but the reverse harem autobot series has activated every single neuron in my brain
Imagine if the human was in a harem with the decepticons instead and the autobots want to save them, fearing you were being forced into the decepticon’s love (and totally denying the fact that seeing you naked on camera got their spikes painfully hard)
Giving you free reign other than that because my brain is full of the idea and empty as well AUDJSKDJDJDHF
Keep up the good work man, love your transformer fics !! :3 /pos
-Fae (if that isn’t already taken ofc)
I so need to write more of these
Warnings : GN!Reader, cybertronian language is used as it's mainly from their POV, exhibitionism, noncon voyeurism, noncon recording
Minors do NOT interact! 18+ only
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You were spotted by pure accident, in fact it was truly a miricale in the first place anyone outside of the decepticons had seen you, but it was Jazz who raised the alarm that the cons had kidnapped a human that left the autobots fuel lines freezing up.
Out on a casual drive Jazz had spotted Knockout not too far away, the con in a line up ready to street race it seemed, but something was different.
And that something was the cute human sitting in the driver's seat. He managed to radio Prowl, swiftly telling him the situation, but by the time the cop bot arrived you and the con were gone. Which left them arguing the whole way back to base.
informing the others was a whole different matter.
"Why didn't you stop him!?" Ironhide shouts, followed by Prowl agreeing with him.
So much yelling and for what?
"Alright that's enough! Jazz, you did the right thing, you could have put the human's life in danger interfering alone."
"But, Prime-"
"No, Ironhide, we need to save that human frm their clutches, but we can't do that if they are harmed or killed in the crossfires or because Megatron doesn't want to let his 'prize' go."
Ironhide growls under his breathe, angry that Prime is right, even if it means someone innocent is in the decepticons grasp. Your safety is their biggest concern, who knows what the cons are putting you through or even doing to you! Them rushing in head frsit will just put you, and subsequently them, in more danger.
They need to get on that ship and survey the area and situation, then they can go about the safest way of getting you out of there with little damage. Maybe thats how Mirage ended up on the Nemsis, invisible to the decepticons that he was careful to walk around as to not alert them.
He has a live feed right to base, so they can see everything he sees while he looks around, sneaking into room after room, peering in and looking for the little human. After the fifth room he forgets it and walks down the hallway, being sure to move out of the way for any con on patrol.
"This is pointless, if we storm them and take them by surprise we'd get that human out for sure!"
Optimus shakes his head, "Not nessecarily, if we do then one of the cons could grab the human a flee."
Bee huffs, though its a mask to hide the worry he feels watching the footage of Mirage walking through the hallways of the enemies ship, listening to their conversations of Knockout and Breakdown
"Seems lord Megatron isn't too happy."
"Yeah, I wonder whos fault that is."
"Our sweetspark wanted out to walk around, how is that my fault!?"
Our?
Sweetspark?
Optimus doesn't take his optics off the screen, even as the whispers and worried words fill the air behind him.
"Did they take a human for themselves?"
"Oh primus, they are using them as a stress toy! That poor person is probably being tortured!" Bumblebee screeches.
Prowl and Ironhide glare at the screen, muttering under theirs breathes, wanting to beat those decepticons helms in.
Ratchet keeps his optics on the screen, scowl on his face, though he can't lie about the worry eating at his spark. Are you okay? He doesn't know enough about human's fragile bodies, so could he ensure you lived long enough to get to a medic who knew what they were doing?
The room quickly falls silent as a sound grows louder and louder. Heads turn back to the screen, watching as Mirage follows quickly behind shockwave, thankfully still undetected, but the sight that greets them leaves their intakes dropped open.
Megatron, with a servo around you, thrusting his spike as deep as he could make it go.
You're sobbing, overloading, begging for him to slow down.
"Aren't you being a bit rough with them? Surely, humans are too squishy for such treatment." Shockwave spoke, merely walking towards where he left his data pad, as if this was completely normal.
"They like it. Isn't that right, pet?" Megatron grinds his spike into you, smirking as you cry out.
"Yes! Yes! M'sorry I should've asked-fuck! Megatron, please...!" You throw your head back, sobbing as it appears you've overloaded again.
Megatron vents, but his smirk never falters.
"So cute like this, taking my spike like you were meant to."
"I told you humans needed more enrichment, they would not have left with Knockout had you given them things to do while we are all busy."
Megatron's face plate twists into a scowl "Silence, Shockwave, as leader they are my Conjunx Endura first, the rest of the ship is just their...consorts."
Mirage is frozen in his spot, unable to look away from you taking such a massive spike in your little valve, and the other autobots are much the same.
So this is how they are using you? But what Megatron said, they couldn't possibly courted a human, they hate humans! Unless its...no, they'd never go that far, would they?
Hot Rod glances around the room, hoping to not be the only one finding the scene before them hot, but he can't read them.
Maybe it's just him, but seeing your soft body mold to the shape of the spike fragging you so good gets his engines purring.
He shouldn't, this is wrong on so many levels and a complete invasion of privacy. But to see your valve overflowing with transfluid like this, it gets him going.
You whimper, your optics look glazed over as you barely manage to look up at Megatron, who can't help but coo at you.
"Have you learned your lesson, dear?"
You fall limp once more in his hold, though you nearly cry once he pulls you off his spike, letting the transfluid pumped into you drop out.
"I did...I'll ask you next time, I promise."
Megatron chuckles, tenderly rubbing his thumb across your cheek, looking at you in such a loving way.
"Good. Now, I have things to attend to, but since you need so much attention, I'm sure Soundwave wouldn't mind keep you occupied."
The blue mech stands up straighter, moving away from his work station and swiftly goes right passed an unamused Shockwave.
Your gaze meets his red visor, which seems to glow. His servos shaking slightly as he takes you from Megatron, uncaring for his leader and Shockwave to make their exit, leaving him with you.
Mirage, despite his illusion feels as though he's exposed, perhaps now is his chance to leave-
Soundwave doesn't get long with you before Starscream barges in, loudly demanding his Conjunx Endura though Soundwave is not amused.
Just when he was getting his alone time too.
Optimus can't take this anymore, comming Mirage to get out of there now.
"Skyfire, go to the Nemesis and get Mirage."
The large mech jumps at his name being called, his face plate bright blue as he squeaks out a 'ok' and rushes out.
Ironhide is beyond appalled, how could those cons do that to you!? But...oh, oh Primus he wants to hold you down and let you take his spike.
The shared thought among the autobots was 'does their valve feel that good the decepticons are willing to share them?'
But oh they want to find out.
Their spikes are pressing against their modest plating, watching such a moment like that was too much for them-
"W-wait I'm-ohhh...fuck!" You squeal, body shaking from your used hole being filled again.
The room is filled with the sound of all their heads snapping to the screen, Mirage didn't seem to have moved, unable to look away or even turn the camera off.
Faintly they can hear Starscream arguing with Soundwave (though it's one sided) as Soundwave gently works his spike into your used valve.
"How dare you, it should be my turn to use their valve!"
"They were given to me, so silence." Soundwave doesn't entertain more of Starscream, focusing on you and pleasuring you.
The doors open once more, giving Mirage time to slide out unnoticed, but just enough to see Breakdown, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and the constructions following suit before the doors close.
Just how many spikes were you taking?
Just how many times a day?
"I uh, I need to go drive- Right, patrol!" Hot Rod and Bee jump up, rushing out of the room in seperate directions.
"Prime?"
Prowl looks to his leader as the larger bot holds his helm in his servos.
Optimus can't face him, he can't face anyone! Why did he like that so much? He should be ashamed, disgusted, but oh Primus above you were quite the addicting sight.
He needs you.
Frag, he shouldn't be thinking like that.
"Optimus, what is our game plan."
Jazz's stern voice cuts through his thoughts.
"I won't be easy, but we need to tread carefully."
Surely it shouldn't be too hard to obtain you, right? It's for your safety after all.
#smut#spicy#🔞🔞🔞#transformers smut#valveplug#transformers x reader smut#transformers Megatron x reader#transformers Soundwave x reader#transformers Megatron x reader smut#transformers decepticons x reader smut#transformers x reader#mdni
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Ooh! Okay, I love all of that! Thank you for sharing lol you just gave me some epiphanies!
I hadn't quite been able to figure out the significance of Crosshair killing Nolan, like that action specifically, and I think what you said makes a lot of sense! Because it totally wouldn't have worked (narratively or like for the character) if he had just quietly defected after the fact.
Crosshair is really complicated, and since I was focusing more on the comparisons to Emerie I didn't get into all the aspects of his full arc (but at this point why not make the post even longer lolll). But I also noticed how often Crosshair identifies himself as a soldier, I actually originally had this exchange in my analysis:
Rampart: All that time, left for dead and yet you still came back. Why? Crosshair: I’m a soldier of the Empire. Rampart: I see. Your loyalty and determination are commendable.
(which side note, I realize that further shows the difference between those two! Crosshair is there to be a soldier whereas Rampart is just there for himself, like he can't even fathom Crosshair's loyalty after being abandoned like that)
Those recurring ideas of loyalty and purpose are directly tied to Crosshair's identity as a soldier, like that is where he finds his purpose and that's why this is what changes his mind:
Nolan: He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire.
So the idea that killing Nolan isn't a desperate act of vengeance but Crosshair deliberately giving up his identity as a soldier just really clicks for me and makes that arc feel more complete in a way.
If it was purely self-preservation he could have just defected and run away. That would have been just cutting his losses and leaving the Empire solely because it no longer serves him. But unlike with Cody it's not enough for him to just stop serving the Empire. Instead by killing Nolan he actively rejects the Empire and "seals it in blood" by choosing treason and its consequences. It's like in that act he is 'killing' the soldier that he was for the Empire. (And if we bring the context of Mayday into it, it means that he would rather die defying the Empire than die for them.)
This also ties to my other favorite bit of the vulture symbolism! Which is this moment:
When Crosshair collapses and the stormtroopers close in to take him away, what would appear as his lowest point, the vulture soars upward. To me it shows that even in this dire moment Crosshair truly is finally free. It ensures that this is an internal triumph even if it looks like an external defeat. (And after this turning point he never does go back, even when he could have saved himself by giving Hemlock what he wanted in Tantiss)
So yeah thanks, I didn't quite realize that in killing Nolan he was choosing to be imprisoned or killed as traitor. I think that's a death 'redemption' I could get behind! Because it's not a sudden single sacrifice that supposedly absolves them of all wrongs without ever facing the repercussions (look at that you drew the rant for another time out of me lol), it's him 'killing' the version of himself that did those wrongs, rejecting that identity. It's not 'redeemed' through heroic death, it's like by the death itself (if that makes sense). And since he didn't actually die like he thought he would, he still has to live with the aftermath and implications of that change. Viewing it like that, it makes way more sense that the after-arc in S3 is about rebuilding his identity and finding new purpose with his family: "Omega needs all of us". (which also fits with the hand tremors thing (losing his identifying skill), and more possible parallels with the CX troopers since their "identities were erased" (though that plotline was pretty rushed so I don't even know) but I really like what you said about Ventress and Omega helping him realize things!)
But! He's still only facing the aftermath implications for himself, not for those he hurt with his actions, which is why to me his arc still isn't a 'redemption' in that sense. And @laughhardrunfastbekindsblog (sorry I don't want to keep reblogging my own beast of post lol) yeah it is 100% a valid arc/ change, I guess it depends on your definition of redemption, because to me the amends/accountability part is really important (something this posts (@antianakin) touches on, though I clearly disagree with the purpose of those characters' arcs). And to clarify, I'm not talking about the character himself, or what he's been through or deserves or whatever, it's about how it's written and what the story we are actually given is saying. That's what I'm critiquing.
With the above context I see how the change itself is really vital. I can get what you're saying that it "convinced Howzer that Crosshair had changed for the better, and that was good enough for him." And it is in-character honestly (Crosshair's not much for words) and it works for what it is.
What bothers me with those episodes (I guess we can do this rant now too lol might as well) is how the show/writing treats Howzer. Because it really feels like they are saying Howzer is in the wrong for not immediately accepting Crosshair, even though he has completely legitimate reasons to dislike and distrust Crosshair because of his actions. Even Hunter calls Howzer out when in the last episode he was just as rightfully distrusting of Crosshair's change until they talked it out. Crosshair doesn't show any remorse in those episodes, he comes off as pretty smug and dismissive instead, but Howzer still has to accept it anyway, mostly on his own by just observing Crosshair's behavior.
Like I said, Crosshair has changed and that's great, but he still did those things. The show had the perfect opportunity for him to face that here! To show that he regrets his past actions instead of just telling Hunter, and to act on those regrets by making amends with someone who was affected.
Like I think of this scene from Atla for comparison:
Suki: You kinda burned down my village. Zuko: Oh… sorry about that.
It's simple, it doesn't undo the wrong (reparations) but it still does the bare minimum of amends (and more is done with his reconciliation with the main characters). Yeah Suki can see that Zuko has changed by his actions (and he is actively fighting against the Fire Nation to help others) but they don't expect her to just accept that in and of itself, Zuko still shows and expresses remorse, and doesn't shame Suki for being upset about what happened. But with a very similar scene of 'changed person is confronted by a past wrong' we instead get this:
Howzer: Most of my squad from Ryloth is dead because of you! Crosshair: *blinks* Rex: Easy, Howzer!
Crosshair is confronted with someone who he directly harmed, but instead of exploring his accountability in the aftermath of his change they made it about his victim's acceptance and unearned forgiveness.
Crosshair's arc as it is (described at length above) works for me, but this does not. Like if they had done just this differently I think I honestly would be fine if everything else stays the same and Crosshair never actively goes against the Empire. Because it's not even about screen time, the opportunity was right there to tip the scales into an better-written actual redemption but they just didn't use it!
And I think that is why TBB as a whole has been frustrating me lately lol. The writing was honestly so good at times, so I can never dismiss it out right. But there are also so many ways it could have been SO MUCH better. And it was really close too which almost makes it worse! Because then we see these glimpses of what the show could have been to compare it to. The potential was there they just missed it, or often times actively avoided it. (But that truly is a discussion of another time, I've got a LOT of draft posts in the works lol)
Hot take:
Crosshair does not have the Imperial disillusionment and redemption arc of The Bad Batch
Emerie does.
Crosshair has an arc for sure yes but it's not that.
I was thinking about this scene:
and how it got right what this scene kinda didn't:
(It was so close but then bad writing decided to undercut the moment with a joke rip)
And I think it's really interesting that these characters who were more or less raised into the Empire/First Order and chose to leave it are all directly asked why.
But take a look at Crosshair's answers in comparison:
Different context for the asking, yes, but still, compare that to clones like Howzer, Cody, Slip and Cade who left or turned against the Empire because they knew what the Empire is doing is wrong and they weren't just going to blindly follow orders:
Crosshair - Loyalty, Purpose, and Survival
Crosshair didn't choose to join the Empire (though the show isn't very clear or consistent about how much control the inhibitor chips have) but he did, for whatever reason, choose to stay. By the end of S1 we know his chip has been removed and as he definitively says "This is who I am." There were likely still other influences on his decision, but listen to how he talks about the Empire in the S1 finale:
Hunter: Crosshair, I've seen what the Empire is doing. Occupying planets and silencing anyone who stands against them. You know it's not right. Crosshair: You still don’t see the bigger picture, but you will. Hunter: Can't you see they're using you?
Crosshair: We’re not like the regs, we never have been. We’re superior. The Empire can’t protect the galaxy without strength, this is what we were made for. Think of all we could do, together!
Crosshair: You all are meant for more than drifting through the galaxy. It’s time to stop running. Join the Empire, and you will have purpose again.
Hunter: They destroyed an entire city! Crosshair: They did what needed to be done. Kamino, regs, the Republic, that time is over. The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it. Hunter: Don't fool yourself. All you'll ever be to them is a number.
He undeniably knows what the Empire is doing, but he does not care. In fact it sure sounds like he actually supports it and finds self-meaning in it. Hunter spends those episodes trying to convince him it's wrong, he doesn't change his mind. In the end they offer him an out and he doesn't take it.
Wrecker: You coming with us? Crosshair: None of this changes anything. Hunter: You offered us a chance, Crosshair. This is yours. Crosshair: I made my decision.
The next we see Crosshair in "The Solitary Clone" (S2:E3) he follows orders and shoots the Desix governor, right after Cody heartbreakingly tries to do what's right and find a peaceful solution.
Cody: Tell me something, Crosshair. This new Empire, are we making the galaxy better? Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.
After this (glorious!) conversation, Crosshair stays. Maybe this began to seed some doubts, but he actually smiles a few scenes later when Rampart assigns him another mission. It seems like for him it truly is as he said in S1:E1 (chip not enhanced yet but still influencing him enough for his brothers to notice he's acting strange):
Crosshair: Republic, Empire... what's the difference.
Crosshair: Orders are orders.
This unethical mission that finally pushed Cody over the edge does not change Crosshair's mind about the Empire, at least not enough for him to take action.
But what does?
Mayday: And here we are, the survivors. Combat troopers stuck babysitting cargo shipments. Crosshair: Mission’s a mission. Mayday: Yeah, I used to say the same thing.
Mayday: After all the clones have done, all we’ve sacrificed. We’re good soldiers, we followed orders. And for what?
This mission has nothing to do with how the fascist Empire treats the galaxy, it's about how they treat their soldiers. It's about how Mayday loyally fought and served his whole life and Lieutenant Nolan let him die
Lt Nolan: He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire. Crosshair: You could have saved him! Lt Nolan: Perhaps you didn’t hear me, he is expendable, as are you.
Crosshair thought he could find purpose within the Empire, and Nolan shows him exactly what that will be.
His turning point is accompanied with this powerful visual of the ice vulture, a symbol (and threat) of death, and also set up within the episode a symbol of survival:
Mayday: Vicious creatures, but you have to admire ‘em. They find a way to survive.
This critical moment (that gives me chills, oof this episode is a masterpiece!) comes right after Nolan calls him expendable and directly threatens him:
Lt Nolan: And if you speak to me again with such disrespect I'll see to it you meet a similar fate, clone.
then Crosshair sees the vulture's shadow and turns to Mayday's dead body (ahh visual storytelling my beloved) then makes his decision:
Crosshair turns against the Empire not because he believes Hunter was right about this:
Hunter: I've seen what the Empire is doing ... You know it's not right.
but because he was right about this:
Hunter: All you'll ever be to them is a number.
Redemption (both in fiction and irl in my humble opinion) comes with making amends and reparations (which is why death 'redemptions' bother me so much but that's a rant for another time). Unlike Emerie, Crosshair never explicitly denounces the Empire or his own actions within it. He never says anything to specifically show if and how his views have changed from what he said on Kamino. He makes amends with his family (sending the warning message, helping Omega escape, making up with Hunter) but that's about it. The most we get in terms of acknowledgement is this:
Crosshair: I thought I knew what I was getting into with the Empire. I thought I was being a good soldier. Hunter: Nobody really understood what was happening back then. Crosshair: I’ve... done things. I’ve made mistakes. Hunter: I have regrets too, Crosshair. All we can do is keep trying to be better, and who knows there just might be hope for us yet.
Which is nice and all but it's more about them making up as brothers so it's way too excusing tbh ("no one knew what was happening back then" ummm? "The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it" remember? And even if at first Crosshair was being controlled by the chip, the fact that he chose to stay after it was removed* means he condones and is therefore still accountable for those actions).
There's also a bit of self-destructive guilt:
Crosshair: Omega, don't risk anything for me. I belong in here.
Crosshair: Omega needs you both. So I’m doing this alone, it’s what I deserve. Hunter: Don’t even think about plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us.
(which thank you Hunter for pushing back on the death redemption bs and oh look is that a wrap up for the purpose thing?)
But there's no action taken on his part to make up for what he's done or to stand against the Empire (aside from the bare minimum of help with Tantiss, only after it became personally relevant, which like yeah he had trauma to deal with but still).
While I do think the implications/follow-up of Crosshair's turn should have been handled better in S3 (like rip Howzer! he deserved an apology, but that's a rant for another time), I don't necessarily** think this arc is a bad writing choice. It's just saying different things than we expect:
Maybe Crosshair's story is not about standing up against an unjust system, like we see with many other characters (who deserved more screen time but that's a rant for another timeeee). Maybe his story is about how even those who are loyal to the Empire, who actually believe in it, still suffer under and within it's rule. Not to garner sympathy, but to show that there is no winning.
Crosshair has another 'so what changed' convo in S3:E14 with Rampart, in which they draw parallels to each other:
Rampart: You used to believe good soldiers followed orders. Crosshair: Depends on who's giving them. The Empire betrayed us both. Rampart: And you think you can fight them? That's not you. You're like me, loyal to no one but yourself. Crosshair: I've changed.
(note how he says who's giving the orders, not what the orders are)
"Loyal to no one but yourself" describes Rampart much more than Crosshair, since we often saw Crosshair pride himself as a loyal soldier of the Empire whereas we saw Rampart abuse power to be self-serving within the Empire (like when he killed Wilco to save face). But they were both betrayed either way. Vice Admiral Rampart, snively Imperial opportunist through-and-through, shouts "I was following orders!" as he is arrested for the Empire's purposes.
Even Hemlock, the final boss immoral Imperial scientist, who has to be benefiting the most from this system, echoes the expendability idea:
Hemlock: What I am working on is beyond your understanding. Something so vital to the Empire it makes me indispensable.
Then there's CX-2, also set up as a parallel/foil to Crosshair (fight me), who in the end is discarded as no more than a weapon, a tool that served it's purpose, showing us what would have become of Crosshair if he had stayed.
There is no winning in the Empire. Loyalty is not rewarded, it "doesn't go both ways." Everyone has to fight for their value. Even high ranking individuals** who for a time benefit from the injustice, in the end are just pawns to be used up and cast aside at a whim for the Emperor's gain. Even people who are motivated by self-interest alone cannot survive within this system, the only viable option in this galaxy is to fight the Empire and dismantle that system. (unless you conveniently find a magically safe island to hide away on but that's a rAnT fOr AnOtHeR tImE)
Which brings us back to...
Emerie - Cooperation, Compassion, and Choice
(Okay this post has already gotten away from me but I still want to talk about her to show the contrasts.)
Emerie may not have been given a lot of screen time to really flesh out her development, but there is a lot that is pretty clearly implied with her:
Crosshair: They’ll never turn her [Omega] over. Hemlock: They don’t have a choice. She is a clone, and therefore Imperial property. *Camera cuts to an angle more centered on Emerie’s face*
Crosshair: Give me your access card! Emerie: It won’t get you outside!
Emerie: I tried to warn him what would happen if he did not cooperate with the Doctor.
Emerie: Prisoner? Omega, you are no such thing. It will take time to adjust, but you will acclimate. It is far safer in here than out there.
Emerie: You should go back to your room. Crosshair: You mean her cell?
Emerie: Why children? Hemlock: Children are easier to attain and more agreeable to the subjugations. They are unaware of why they are here and what they possess.
Emerie: They're children. Like I was... Was your plan to discard them too? Nala Se: The Empire will keep them in order to control them.
We don't know a lot about Emerie's background, but it's clear that she had a lot less choice than Crosshair and less opportunity or ability to leave. Unlike Crosshair, we never directly hear Emerie's views of the Empire (and she was most likely 'taken under Hemlock's wing' before the Empire even came to power), but lets look at how she talks about the Tantiss:
"Remain calm. Cooperate and you might survive."
"Don't make this worse, Crosshair! There is no escape!"
"All of us serve a purpose here."
"The Doctor will inform me, if it's necessary."
"It's best not to ask questions."
"Escape is not possible, Omega. This is for your own good."
She honestly does the best she can within the system she is also trapped in. She tries to help Crosshair, Omega, and the vault kids in the only way she knows how (warns Crosshair about the hounds and security, tries to protect Omega from Hemlock, tells Scorch his "actions were extreme" with Jax, insists on overseeing Bayrn's retrieval, double checks his m-count (to give him an out), and tries to find out where he came from). When she gives Omega, and later Eva, the doll, I think it shows just how little she really is able to do here (and it's kinda heartbreaking imo).
The framing of this shot especially (after Jax's escape attempt) visually shows how Emerie herself is trapped/imprisoned:
Despite the fact that very little of this is Emerie's fault, she has very little power and she is doing all she can, the narrative does not excuse her role in the Empire:
Nala Se: What will you do, Emerie? Emerie: There is nothing I can do. I don't have that kind of power. Nala Se: Don't you?
Emerie: I- I was doing my job. Echo: Yeah, I’ve heard that before. You’re a clone. How can you be part of this?
These fighting-the-Bystander-Effect conversations parallel these exchanges:
Hunter: We made a choice, and so did you. Crosshair: Soldiers follow orders. Hunter: Blind allegiance makes you a pawn.
Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.
which did not change Crosshair's mind. And honestly, all respect to Echo's disappointed mom glare™ but I think it's clear Emerie had already made her decision, she just needed help to actually be able to do anything about it. When she stopped Echo, with her voice wavering on the verge of tears (ahhh v good voice acting), she clearly had no intention of turning him in. She's on her own in the Empire's most secure facility with very little resources, if she had tried anything on her own she most likely would have failed and been killed
Omega: Emerie, you don't have to do this. Emerie: (sigh) I’m sorry, but I do.
but as soon as she is enabled by an ally, she immediately turns around to help: giving information and getting Echo through security, helping the kids escape, and giving Omega the tablet that allows them to free the other clone prisoners.
Where Crosshair's turn is accompanied by the symbolic imagery of the ice vulture, Emerie's is the removal of her (literally rose-tinted!) glasses:
Symbolizing how she has shed her previous views/indoctrination that altered her perception of the Empire and blinded her to it's wrongs. It's disillusionment.
Emerie's story shows us that even those who are raised and indoctrinated into this system can, should, and will escape (with needed help). Even those who did not choose to be apart of the Empire and are not making the decisions still have the responsibility and ability to act on what they know is right.
Emerie, whose name means 'Home strength' 'Brave' and 'Powerful', and "reflects the importance of leadership and authority in the workplace".***
While Emerie is only in one more scene after her turn, so the wrap up is a bit rushed, she still very simply does what Crosshair does not:
Emerie: Because I was wrong about this place. And I'm trying to do the right thing.
Echo: I’m sure Senator Chuchi would find what you have to say very helpful for our cause. Emerie: I have a lot to make up for. I’d like to help out however I can.
She admits wrong, takes accountability, commits to making amends, and leaves with Echo to go take on the Empire (which hopefully we will get to actually see more of some day).
So, in short, she's showing us how redemption is done right!
---
Notes:
*Whether this writing choice was good/logical/in-character or not is another discussion entirely, but I'm going off of what we were given, what the show is presenting in the canon text and (reasonably inferred/intentional) subtext. Crosshair is pretty multifaceted and I could only touch on so much here. There's a lot of ways to interpret his character/choices, but I tried to avoid the realm of speculation or fanon explanations (even if they sometimes make more sense lol).
**History and political theory are not my area of expertise at all, so I have NO idea how well this aligns with real-world fascism stuff and therefore what implications this storytelling choice could have. I think the message of like 'if you think you could survive or gain power by doing what the Empire/fascist system wants you are wrong' could be good (like how everyone is actually harmed by the patriarchy type of a thing), but I hesitate bc maybe there are those who would benefit, since it's a hierarchal system, right? If anyone more knowledgeable than me has incite to share, by all means
Either way, I do think it works in-story and in-universe though. It's just in the execution. The main problem (even from a strictly theme/character arc stand point) is the lacking follow-up/consequences for Crosshair in S3. Like you gave your character accountability by removing the chip and I think that's great setup for an arc but you gotta follow through with that and actually hold him accountable!
***I'm always curious when clones have 'normal' names, like why did they chose the name Emerie of all things? So I looked it up. Idk how reliable sources are for name meanings so take it with a grain of salt but it's still fun. Fits pretty well, and clones names have definitely had significant meanings in the past (like how Rex and Jesse both mean 'king') so I'm pretty sure it was intentional.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my tedtalk
#sometimes i feel like i'm reading too much into this show and giving the writers more thematic credit than is due#the pieces are defo there but there's a difference between finding it through analysis and reaching through OVER analysis#i think there's ways they could've solidified these things within the actual text and subtext if it's what they were really going for#and they could still have executed them better too#the cx troopers are a good example of that#they clearly were doing parallel stuff but the plotline didn't resolve well enough for that to actually work or really mean anything#also why is this one character SO complex while wrecker (who technically has more total screen time) has like no development whatsoever?#like don't do an ensemble show if you can't balance all the characters#additional tangent on this already long af post that just got longer lol:#i believe that characters arcs in general should be ARCS#often times a story ends at the PEAK of an arc so we don't get to see the results of that change#and that exploration and aftermath is MOST important for redemption arcs ESP when people have been harmed#thats why the death redemptions bother me bc the character completely cheats out of ever dealing with the consquences#change is good and important and so are good deeds#but one ultimate sacrifice doesn't make up for everything they did and does nothing to help the people who are still affected#darth vader's death redemption works for me bc it was actually about Luke being right about seeing good in him and trusting their connectio#kylo ren's does NOT (though nothing worked in that film lol)#i was so mad when he died for this very reason bc i knew it was gonna happen and that's not REDEMPTION ugh#also why did they kiss ew#ANYWAY#redemption arcs#character arcs#tbb crosshair#tbb analysis#tbb critical#tbb's subpar writing#writing#writing pet peeves#atla#atla zuko
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bunny!reader didn’t like being bad. infact, bunny!reader was bad at being bad.
“you slammin’ my doors now, huh? is that — is that what we’re doin’?” his voice booms through the hallway, and you regret it as soon as you’d happened to shut rafe’s bedroom door with just a tad too much attitude.
you wouldn’t call it a dispute, moreso you complaining. you’d gotten into trouble, purely over a misunderstanding on your part. barry had told you that he was your friend, and that you were welcome over to his place to hang out anytime. betrayed by your own naivety, you believed him — which lead to rafe all but dragging your ass back to tannyhill.
he doesn’t yell when he swings the door open, controlling himself. he knows deep down you didn’t mean any harm by it — so instead of spiralling out, he sucks in a breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he lifts a hand in thought.
“just… talk to me, alright? i need you to tell me you understand why you can not be friends with barry.” he stresses, opening his eyes wide to step towards you slowly, moving extra carefully because of the way your lip wobbled, body frozen up.
“i don’t want to talk.” you mewl, resisting the urge to thump your foot. you were never bratty, so he was allowing you some space — he had his limits though. rafe leans on his hip, holding his hand up again in despair.
“well, what — you want the belt, then? will that make you talk?” he shook his head, exasperated and you shake your head with a whimper. “okay then, so…?” he prompts.
“i just don’t understand. you’re the one who told me i should make some more friends!” you argue, voice high pitched and upset.
“yeah i meant girls at the country club, kid. not the god damn dealer i work with.” he drawls in response, blinking a couple of times like it’s obvious.
you hug your arms, feeling very silly about the whole thing as you shrink a little in stature. “i just thought that if we became friends with the same person… we could all hang out together. get to be around you more…” you bleat and he stressfully smooths his brow down with the pads of his fingers.
“thats not how it works.”
“well i’m sorry! barry is the one that said he wanted to be my friend!”
he tongues at his cheek for a moment before closing in on you, an irritated squint occupying his glare. “you really think he wants to be your friend? huh? nah, no really — really think about it baby.” he’s right infront of you, lightly tapping your temple to punctuate his word choice. rafe places a hand on your shoulder, bending to your level so he can look you properly in the eyes, forehead creasing in exertion. “i say this because i care about you, alright — he wants to fuck you. because — because that makes me look bad, right? and… and he’s always looking for ways to get back at me and plus you’re always sitting there with your fuckin’ titties hanging out your shirt so yeah, baby. he wants to fuck you.”
he lets go of you to pace, annoyed. you watch as he runs a hand over his jaw and you sniffle quietly. “oh.”
“yeah.” he speaks before glancing at you. he can see how upset the whole thing has made you, so he reluctantly starts back towards you with a sigh. “look. it’ll be easy for you to make some actual, female friends. okay? you’re a good girl. you’re — you’re kind and sweet and patient and they’d be lucky to have you.” he cups the back of your head before pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“am i your friend rafe?” you peer up at him, so innocently and earnestly that it takes him back.
“y— what?”
“are we friends? together?” you blink.
“you’re my girlfriend.” he speaks like it’s obvious.
“mhm, but are we friends too?”
he itches his cheek, never having really thought about it before. honestly, he didn’t really see it that way — but maybe that was because rafe cameron didn’t really have female friends. not before you and certainly not after you. it just didn’t interest him. aside from wanting to rip your clothes off 24/7, the boy did surprisingly just enjoy being in your company. so, he licks his parted lips and nods.
“that what you want? yeah, kid. i’m your friend. okay?” he swipes his thumbs beneath your eyes, collecting the mascara that had pooled beneath. “now stop crying.”
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14. "oh, so now we’re holding hands?" With Wonwoo pls and female:)))
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fluff prompt #14: "oh, so now we're holding hands?"
wonwoo didn’t know what he did wrong.
one moment, everything was fine. the next, you were cold, sharp replies replacing your usual warmth, and any attempt he made to talk to you was met with an annoyed glare. you weren’t outright ignoring him, but you might as well at this point.
so he did what any reasonable person would do: he followed you around and tried to make you laugh, even if it meant annoying you further. but no matter how much he teased or tried to catch your attention, you stayed firmly in your icy bubble, refusing to give him an inch.
after dinner with the rest of the boys, he thought you’d leave the moment the dishes were cleared. instead, you lingered in the living room, scrolling on your phone while pretending he wasn’t there.
thats when the idea came to him; he quickly pulled his phone out, texting jeonghan.
"let's watch a horror movie, im in the mood for it." jeonghan declared out loud. you didn’t object & wonwoo could only count that as a silent win.
wonwoo should feel bad, he really should, because he knows scary movies weren’t your thing, but he doesnt feel any remorse or guilt. so here you were, sitting stiffly on the couch beside him, your arms crossed, your gaze fixed stubbornly on the screen.
he tried not to smile, he really tried.
“you know, if you’re still mad at me, you can just say so,” he whispered as the opening credits rolled.
you didn’t even spare him a glance. “i’m not mad.”
“right,” he said, dragging out the word. “you’re just giving me the cold shoulder for fun.”
“wonwoo.” your tone was a warning, but it only made him grin wider.
“okay, okay,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender. but as the movie started and the eerie soundtrack filled the room, he couldn’t resist stealing glances at you, waiting for the moment you’d crack.
it didn’t take long.
the first jumpscare made you flinch. by the third, you were gripping the edge of the couch cushion so tightly that your knuckles turned white.
and then came the scene. the one with the flickering lights and the slow, suspenseful build-up that everyone knew would end in something terrible.
you tensed beside him, this is it, wonwoo thinks. your breath hitching as the music swelled. and just as the shadow moved on screen, you let out a startled yelp; one hand moving to grab at his biceps, hiding your face behind it and the other subconsciously intertwines with his fingers, clutching it tightly
he blinked, startled by the yelp you let out even though he expected it, and then, a slow, triumphant smile took over his face.
“oh?” his voice was soft, teasing. “so now we’re holding hands?”
your head snapped up, your eyes wide with realization. “i—i wasn’t—” you stammered, trying to pull your hand away, but his grip tightened, keeping your fingers firmly intertwined with his.
“uh-uh,” he said, his tone light but his hold steady. “you can’t just grab my hand and then let go like that. that’s rude, you know.”
“wonwoo,” you said, your cheeks burning as you tried to tug your hand free again. “let go.”
“no,” he replied, his thumb brushing casually over your knuckles. “besides, you’re still scared, right? so what’s the harm in holding on a little longer?”
“i’m not scared,” you shot back, though the tremble in your voice betrayed you.
“sure,” he said, clearly unconvinced. “totally fearless. that’s why you’re clinging to me like your life depends on it.”
“i am not clinging,” you hissed, glaring at him even as your face grew hotter.
he chuckled, the sound low and warm, and leaned in just slightly. “you’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”
“i’m not flustered,” you muttered, looking anywhere but at him. “and i’m still mad at you, by the way.” a small pout makes its way to your face.
“really?” he asked, his voice softening as he tilted his head. “because you’re not acting very mad right now.”
“i am,” you insisted, though your resolve was quickly crumbling under the weight of his teasing gaze and the warmth of his hand in yours.
“mhmm,” he hummed, his smile turning fond as he looked at you. “well, just so you know, i’m not letting go until you’re not mad anymore.”
your eyes darted to your joined hands, your heart racing as you registered the sincerity in his voice beneath the teasing.
“i’m not mad,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“oh?” he said, his grin widening. “so does that mean you’re holding my hand because you want to now?”
"I'm not holding your hand, you're holding mine!" you argued, your cheeks burning as you tried to pull away one last time.
but wonwoo didn’t budge. instead, he laced his fingers fully with yours, his grip firm but gentle.
“you should know,” he said softly, his teasing edge fading as he looked at you, “if you hold my hand so tight like this, i’m never letting go.”
your breath hitched, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, his words settling into the space between you like a promise.
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