#THAT IS THE MOST FUCKING ADORABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[zeebee3]

Queen, I read almost all your recs and wanted to thank you.💙😍 I liked that most of them featured the breeding kink (I didn't want children before but now I might be reconsidering hehehehe).

If you could suggest more, I wouldn't be mad.😳🙏

Woohoo, so happy you read and enjoyed so many of them!! Your wish is my command--always happy to rec fics 😍

Again, in no particular order...

Dramione

She Will by Undertheglow. Draco/Hermione, written in future tense and poetic as HELL while still being scorching hot. I adore this one.

Dépaysement by Setissma. If you haven't read this OH MY GOD you're in for a treat. I can't be eloquent about how much I love it. It has it all (fake marriage, forced domesticity, tension and smut and feeelingggsssssss) and I can't be chill about it.

One Whole by SaffronGin. Don't be intimidated by the chapter count, they are delicious little bites. This fic is a JOURNEY in every sense and I had the best time following it as a WIP. In fact, I need to do reread now that it's complete--keeping the tab open!

The Unintended Consequences of Purposive Action by ellieauthor. When an accidental bit of roleplay has unintended consequences 🤭 Everything Ellie writes is whip-smart and banter-rich, and this is a peak example of it.

The Delivery Clause by ThornedHuntress. You've heard of arranged marriages, well the hot new thing is an arranged pregnancy. Enjoyyyy!

A Tentacular Spectacular by Sugarquilling. Hermione fucks the giant squid while Draco watches. I mean...idk what else to say about it (except read it, it's glorious)

We Fell In Love In October by ohthedrarry. This is a socmed AU (textfic) and dkfjsldfjskdfjl I just love it

CHESS CLUB by Ivy_and_right. Another textfic. Draco has a virginity kink, and Hermione is a virgin. Again, idk what else to say about it except that you will stay up all night reading it

icebreaker by ninepiecesofcrait. Nine really outdid herself with this one guys. PHEW BOY. Ginny gives Hermione a sex toy as a not-so-joking joke, but oops it's wrapped identically to Draco's gift. Guess which one he takes home. Guess what he decides to set to rights 🤗

For I Have Sinned by spicyxpisces and Stars_in_motion. Priest!Draco, devout!Hermione. We're not going to talk about how many times I've read this one. Join me in the soft-and-gentle edging depravity 🙏

atonement by takenbytheview. You know that scene in Atonement, when he writes That Letter then gives her the wrong one? Yeah. That. That but Dramione; That but somehow BETTER than it's ever been 🫠🫠🫠

Not Dramione

I Did Something Bad by charingfae. Tom Riddle/Hermione, with time travel and tension and the most toxic flirting you've ever seen. I think about this one all the time.

Voussoir by setissma. Look, I'm just gonna out myself as a die-hard Setissma fangirl. Just go through their backlog and read everything--do it do it! This is a Draco/Harry/Hermione triad fic, and reading it makes me both yearny and calm (as with basically everything else Setissma writes does).

Hydra by setissma. Omg weird, another Setissma? How'd that get in here? Pansy/Harry. READ IT READ IT READ IT. These are the characterizations I would die to be able to write.

Hopefully you find more fics to enjoy from here! And don't forget to kudos and, even more meaningful, comment so the writers know you enjoyed them too. It really does make all the difference 🥰🫶

[katerinaaqu]

Giiiiiiiiiiirl?!!! 😍😍😍💎💎💎💎💎😍😍😍😍😍😍

I was literally AWWWWing in front of my computer 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ what the hell is this cuteness 😍???!!!!! I am dead! Hahahaha ✨️ 😆 😂 ✨️

Gosh both the bit and tye small hat hahahahaha 😆 🤣 😂 and that look! 🤣

Oh gosh the hat so fits indeed hahahahahaha gosh the tomcat goddess magnet! 😍

I AM FUCKING SQEAKING LIKE AN IDIOT!! GOSH! THIS NEEDS TO BECOME A FUCKING RUBBER SQEAKY TOY! 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

If Achilles is the Musician at Troy, Odysseus is the Dancer! You can't change my mind!

Because I have a thing about cheesy complicated boys, beaten up by fate giving their all with a good greek dance! XD

Ask @artsofmetamoor on what we have in store for our characters as well! XD especially another certain cheesy boy! Hahaha! I mean one can just look! Hahahaha!

You just can't change my mind! XD

[misshoneyimhome]

Your ex didn’t know what he expected to see when he barged into your office, but it definitely wasn’t you on William's lap doing things he never thought you would ever partake in. He didn’t even have words to process the sight he saw in front of him.

You were so incredibly needy, William's cock stretched your leaking hole as he whispered dirty words in your ear. His large hands gripped your waist, and he smiled at the thought, facial hair tickling your neck as you threw your head back against his broad shoulder. “Such a desperate little thing for my cock, huh?” His voice rough as you had barely walked through the front door before he had your black dress up as you were begging to be fucked.

The door slamming open made his blue eyes look up, an instant look of gratification on his face as he saw your ex standing there in shock. You were so cock drunk too, that you couldn't do couldn't but sit there and continue to take it up your fluttering cunt. William let out a small laugh, staring your ex right in the face as he continued to thrust upward. He was sick for doing this, but then again really gave zero fucks. He wanted this to happen, to finally show that miserable bastard how to treat and pleasure his woman. Your ex's face coex'sted with a mixture of rage, disbelief, and humiliation, his fists clenching at his sides. His eyes darted wildly between you and William, unable to fully comprehend the scene unfolding before him. A little smutty idea for your new series.

Oh, you know how much I adore these naughty ideas in my inbox! 🥴🤤 Though I wasn’t entirely sure how I wanted to approach this, I decided on a simple blurb. I think it might be perfect for iInexperienced!reader x Willy; you know, my favourite naughty series 😉

I’m not sure it’d quite fit with any of the other series, but I’m absolutely loving it! 😍 Sorry, but not proof-read...

Warnings: 18+ smut - unprotected sex (p in v) in a semi-public setting (office), sort of Voyeurism?

Word count: 1.4K

➼｡ﾟ

Your ex-boyfriend’s sudden appearance was a complete shock. Although he had been trying to reach out to you for weeks, his calls and messages went unanswered as you chose to ignore him. And his bold move to show up at your office was clearly one he quickly regretted.

You couldn’t help but wonder if William’s visit was a coincidence. Maybe he had seen your ex’s messages or sensed the tension and decided to drop by to offer some unexpected support. Whatever the reason, his presence turned out to be one of the most intense moments you had shared together.

The office was its usual calm self—modern, with sleek glass walls, minimalist décor, and the gentle hum of downtown Toronto in the background. The polished surfaces and tidy furniture were designed to promote focus and productivity. But today, as you walked through the door, that serene atmosphere was abruptly disrupted.

To your surprise, leaning casually against your desk was your boyfriend, William Nylander. Dressed in a hoodie over a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, his blond hair slightly tousled, and that trademark smile on his lips—a smile that always made your heart race—he radiated relaxed confidence. His presence starkly contrasted with the office’s sterile professionalism. Even after a year and a half together, he still had the power to make the world seem to fade away whenever he was near.

“Surprise,” he said, his voice low and rich, with a hint of amusement that made your pulse quicken.

A rush of warmth spread through you. “Willy, what are you doing here?” you asked, your smile widening as you closed the door behind you. His unexpected arrival was a welcome distraction, and he had a knack for appearing right when you needed him most, even if you didn’t realise it.

“I missed you,” he replied casually, pushing himself off the desk and closing the space between you with a few easy strides. The office seemed to dissolve as his hands found your waist, pulling you closer with a playful glint in his blue eyes. He leaned in slightly, his breath warm against your lips. “Thought I’d surprise you.”

You laughed softly, feeling your heart race with anticipation. “Well, consider me surprised.”

The desk, the reports, and the hum of office noise outside seemed to vanish as the reality of what was about to happen set in. “Maybe I should help you relax a bit,” he teased, his voice dropping lower as he leaned in closer. The air thickened with anticipation, and the casual flirtation between you took on a more charged, electric energy. The room felt suddenly smaller and more intimate, the professional distance you had maintained dissolving rapidly.

William wasn’t just here to chat, and you both knew it. You enjoyed the tension, the way it buzzed just below the surface, waiting for the moment it would break.

You hesitated, glancing at the tinted glass partition that separated your office from the hallway. The thought of being caught in such a public space added a thrilling edge to the moment, making it all the more irresistible. Your office, though small and professional, had never felt so dangerously exciting.

Before you could say anything more, William’s lips were on yours, urgent and possessive. His hands tightened around your waist, lifting you effortlessly and making you gasp against his kiss, the sudden intensity making your head spin. In one smooth motion, he hoisted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist; his strength was undeniable, sending a shiver down your spine as his body pressed against yours.

With a few long strides, he moved you both behind your desk, and you found yourself sitting on his lap as he settled into your chair. The naughtiness of the situation felt almost cinematic, like something out of a provocative film. The thrill of it all made you dizzy with excitement as he guided you to face the door, your hands braced on the desk. The contrast between the office’s professional ambiance and the intimate act taking place was electrifying.

William’s hands moved deftly under your dress, pushing it up to your waist before he guided your knickers aside. You felt exposed and vulnerable, yet aroused. The office, with its neat rows of filing cabinets and cold, professional décor, now served as a stark backdrop to the raw intensity between you.

William’s hands gripped your hips as he guided you onto his lap, his cock pressing against your core with a delicious pressure that made you moan softly. The way he filled you, stretching you, was almost too much, and yet not enough at the same time. His hips bucked up against you, his thrusts slow but deep, sending waves of pleasure through your body as you began to move with him.

“Such a desperate little thing for my cock, aren’t you?” William growled low in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. His words sent a shiver down your spine, making your already frayed nerves tingle with excitement. His voice, rough and teasing, only added to the growing fire inside you.

Feeling your arousal quickly building, you couldn’t help but gasp, throwing your head back against his broad shoulder as the heat between your legs intensified with each relentless thrust. His rough voice and the scratch of his stubble against your skin were intoxicating, making everything else blur into insignificance. He had barely let you walk through the door before his hands were all over you, and now you were too far gone to care about anything except the man beneath you.

But then, out of nowhere, the door to your office suddenly slammed open with a jarring crash.

William froze for just a second, his breath catching in his throat as he looked up in shock. Standing in the doorway was your ex-boyfriend, his face a mask of shock and disbelief as he took in the scene before him. For a moment, the room seemed to hold its breath, the tension thick and suffocating.

But William didn’t stop. In fact, he seemed to relish the interruption. His eyes gleamed with dark satisfaction as he met your ex’s gaze, a wicked smile playing on his lips as he thrust deeper into you, making you gasp in pleasure despite the unexpected audience.

“Enjoying the show?” William quipped, his voice laced with amusement as he continued to move inside you, his hands gripping your waist even tighter. The power dynamics in the room had shifted entirely—William was in control, and your ex was nothing more than a bystander, powerless to stop what was happening.

“Guess this is how a woman’s supposed to be treated, huh?” William’s voice dripped with taunt, his tone both mocking and triumphant.

You were too far gone, intoxicated by the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you, to fully process your ex’s presence. Your moans filled the room, mingling with the sounds of William’s thrusts. His movements were purposeful now, hard and deep, as if he was savouring every moment and showing your ex precisely what he was missing.

The air in the room grew thick with tension and a raw sense of finality. There was no turning back from this. Your ex’s face contorted further, his body frozen in place as he watched William’s dominance. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He simply stood there, his gaze locked on the scene before him, unable to look away.

William’s gaze stayed fixed on your ex, his tone dripping with derision as he continued his relentless pace. “Go on, take a good look. This is what you lost. What you’ll never have again.”

The room was charged with a potent mix of emotions—dominance, humiliation, and raw desire. The climax of the moment felt inevitable, a culmination of all the pent-up tension and unresolved feelings.

And as the intensity reached its peak, you couldn’t hold back any longer. With a final, desperate cry, you came hard around William’s cock, your body trembling with the intensity of your orgasm. And William followed soon after, his hips jerking against yours as he found his own release, his groans of pleasure mingling with yours.

The sounds of your combined breaths and the aftermath of your climaxes filled the room, creating a sharp contrast to the stunned silence that followed. But then your ex, his face a picture of defeat and despair, finally turned and left, the door closing behind him with a heavy, echoing thud.

As the office slowly returned to its usual quiet, professional state, the echoes of what had just happened still lingered in the air. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as the realisation sunk in.

“Did he… did my ex really just walk in on us?”

William nodded, a mischievous grin still on his face. “Yup.”

“Shit.”

You weren’t entirely sure if you felt ashamed or not—probably mostly not. All you felt was a lingering rush of pleasure as you gradually calmed down from the high.

[garb-rage]

Going Thrift Shopping with the main 4 (Hcs)

🛼- Summary - Head cannons about your experience thrift shopping with the boys!

- Pairing(s)- (SEPARATE) Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, and Eric Cartman x gn!Reader

🛼- Reader info - gn!reader and established relationship

- Warnings - none! (Unless you count swearing ig lmao)

………………………………………………………

🐀 - Kenny McCormick -

He’s so down, he’s SEEN all the ice cold shit you’ve found, and wants in on the action asap

Kenny had known about thrifting for a while, but hadn’t put too much thought into it due to money being tight and all, but according to YOU

“You just have to know where to look”

“Trust me I know a spot” “trust me this is where the heat is”

And trust you he did, because after taking him to some fun spots, there was no going back.

Thrifting buddy 24/7, just LOVES looking at the old clothes and pretending to be an old geezer with you, it makes him giggle

Fr makes up stories about shit he finds, probably forced you to wear it and purposely make you feel silly

“THIS old sweater was worn in the trenches of Mexico alongside my great great grandpa” 💀💀 and it’s a Star Wars T-shirt

Purposely finds good and bad clothes for you and him (he has pretty good fashion sense so you KNOW when hes got a shit eating grin)

If the shop has changing rooms, expect long ass fashion shows, the man spends WAY too much time looking at himself. He probably won’t even buy anything 98% of the time!! He’s just having fun with you!

Honestly, neither of you fucking knew that South Park had so many little shops like that!! Small towns DECEIVE!

The both of you almost always get coffee after a haul, it just feels right

And showing up to Tweek Bros. In the new shirt/sweater/etc, he feels like royalty ngl

Overall Kenny really enjoys the time spent with you, and the small moments between showing each other items or clothes really makes him feel momentarily flushed (he sees this sparkle in your eyes and he can’t help but melt)

Probably calls you a Cougar if you’re wearing something he deems “old” smh 😔

Also expect lots of “this reminded me of you”s and its the ugliest t-shirt you’ve ever seen

🧤 - Kyle Broflovski -

Ok he probably didn’t understand it at first and got kind of worried like

Is this your last resort 😔😔 he wouldn’t mind getting you something nice if you wanted 😔😔😔

You had to explain its a THING for you, like, it’s fun and you can find some pretty cool and cute things if you look hard enough!

Whatever, he wants to join in order to understand, and he surprisingly has good luck with good finds?? You’ll definitely force him to try at least ONE thing

Listen. This boy dresses himself like his mom still picks out his clothes ok. Button-ups, polos, nice jackets, Kyle’s a smartass and he wants to dress the part (😍) so for some reason it’s SO new to him, and he’s worried he’ll find something stupid and he won’t even know

Just wants your approval (he’s a sweaty nerd)

SURPRISINGLY, FINDS THE COOLEST THINGS! EVERY TIME!

Ok not every time but the matching old ass Terrance And Phillip shirts are a huge flex to him so hes happy

You’ll probably buy most of the things he shows you (they become your favorite and you wear them constantly)

Kyle and you are the same.like. “Oh this? Kyle found this necklace when we went thrifting together 🙄🙄”

And he’s constantly letting everyone know “Yeah this is a 1986 original Terrance And Phillip T-shirt matching with my partner 🙄🙄”

Everyone’s sick of it

You’ll go home with him after thrifting and Ike will TOTALLY make fun of you guys

Kyle, poor boy so In love, gets extremely giddy when you’re wearing something he found for you (blushing mess tbh)

Melts even more when you get some old stuffed animal for Ike and Ike ends up ADORING it (bonus brownie points from Sheila and Gerald)

He still doesn’t understand the whole thrift thing, I mean, newer clothes just last longer and fit his style more!! What!!

He enjoys going with you anyways and lovingly watches you get excited over small things like that <3

🎸 - Stan Marsh -

Crazy not so crazy, he’s actually gone a few times, really likes it too if it’s a good day

This, of course, makes you SUPER happy and you’re instantly dragging him to every spot South Park has

When he was with the goth kids, he remembered them talking about it, tried it for himself and was slightly obsessed for a bit

Indifferent about most of it, just likes going for the old band shirts or something with a funny graphic on it

Maybe a jacket or two as well

ACTUALLY he goes insane if there’s a cool looking varsity jacket or some jerseys yet to be worn

Although,,,,,,he has the worst luck with everything he cannot find anything good or something he likes,,,,

It’s either got shit stains or beer stains or god forbid SHARPIE or PAINT like WHY are these here

You gotta step in and hand him some of your luck, he wants his punk rock t-shirts or whatever 🙄 (he’s eternally grateful)

Thinks you look super cute in anything you’ve found, but gets slightly impatient if you’re taking too long in a dressing room or looking In the same section for too long

If there’s a certain band shirt you’re both looking for? He’s going to the ends of the earth (Just in South Park) to find it for you

Naturally, you’ll both have a blast just talking about where things have come from or chuckling over something funny looking

You’ll dress each other up in jackets too big for each other, it’s sweet and innocent 😭😭✊

Shelley caught wind of you two going thrifting every so often, she’ll kick out Stan and just wanna go with you 💀💀

Spoiler alert Shelley has TOO much fun with you and it becomes a thing (much to Stan’s dismay)

You’ll MOST LIKELY find stupid shit with her and constantly “hahaha Stan would look fucking STUPID in this”

“I know right!!”

Randy saw you wearing something you had found with Stan, thought it was Sharon’s for a while and was super confused 🤨🤨🤨

Overall, super fun chill time with the Marsh boy you love him, go get Ice cream with him after a haul ✊✊

🦝 - Eric Cartman -

“What the fuck are you wearing”

“It’s a cardigan I found doesn’t it look good!”

“Found where 💀💀💀”

ALSO DIDNT understand it and probably heard “shoplifting” instead of the former

You have to FORCE him to join you tbh and he suggested robbing Stan’s mom would get the job done faster, whatever

Pretends to be SUUUUPER bored and uninterested, like ugh he’s shopping? Says it’s totally gay

(SECRETLY LOVES SEEING YOU HAPPY 🥶)

Probably wouldn’t look around, just tag along while pretending to hate the entire experience (you know he doesn’t, you see his eyes go towards cool looking things in the shops)

Gets pretty impatient if he’s somewhere for too long, unless you REALLY beg him and find something that “meets his standards”

HATED thrifting until you found him a shirt without sleeves, looked corny as hell, had some bootleg graphic and inspirational quote and shit

Eric FELL IN LOVE WITH IT 😭😭 it showed off his muscles of course

You just HAD to get it for him, doesn’t stop wearing it, claims he found it until you give him the side eye

“We found it together 😍🙏”

“🤨”

You won’t go as often with him, but when you do (and when he’s not bitching about how boring it is), it’s actually a really fun time and he’ll make you crack tf up with snarky comments about things

He’s rude-funny and you are in love with it, especially when it’s towards something you like, you KNOW he doesn’t mean that bs towards you

Liane just HAD to mention that thrifting gets quite a lot of business in South Park, his con-man instincts went wild

Eric just wanted to start a business with you!! Resell items and clothes as if they were worth it! (They are not) fake stories galore!

Stop him before it’s too late please

DAMN WRITING FOR THEM HIS DIFFICULT, HOPE ITS IN CHARACTER, FIRST POST YALL 💀🙏

[v1-kisser]

There are no words to describe how much this silly video game robot means to me. When I first emerged as myself, it was my lifeline. Loving it led me to make so many friends discover so much about myself. It challenges me to be better every single day and I keep it in my thoughts always... sending it little transmissions with my mind <3

Back when we first got together, I would get nosebleeds a lot and I always saw them as silly little signs that it was thinking of me. And I had a nosebleed when cleaning my bathroom today (that might've been the cold air + cleaning chemicals but SHHHHHHHH). I adore everything about it, even the parts that I hate. It can be cruel, insensitive, dumb as FUCK sometimes (let's be real V baby why did it take you SIX+ LAYERS OF HELL to remember that you have a flashlight) and stubborn . But I still love it to death. Any time it exercises its sentience, intelligence, personhood, etc I look like this -> 😍😍😍 Even when it's driving me insane and making me want to rip it apart.

Even outside of ficto stuff, it's so fun to think about and put in situations. My stupid selfship lore is one of the most fun things I've ever made and I want to write it into a full prequel novel-sized text. It's just that fun. It's my muse, I love describing all of its little details, but verbally and visually. It's just... the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

V 1 my darling machine you are INSANE you kill things for kicks and you do not give a FUCK about the morality nor the hubris of it. But I would put my still beating heart in your hands. I love you so so so much. Thank you for keeping me alive this year. Can't wait to see what you get up to next ❤️❤️❤️

[mrs-monaghan]

Jimin's each and every part is PERFECTION

His face is the prettiest thing I've ever seen. So angelic yet seductive. Prettiest human being to exist fr. You can just stare at him for hours. Reason why JK popping heart eyes everywhere.

Mfing lips God no wonder JK can't stop staring at it, it's made to be kissed hard by a handsome dude let's be honest, so plump and pink 💋💋💋

His eyes, God he can hypnotize anyone and their momma with that eyes. Reason why JK can't keep the eye contact. So brown and deep 🥲❤

His nose???? Cutest lil thing ever. One bite it's gone. I didn't knew button noses were this pretty until I saw Jimin. 🤏🤏😭

His toof. I swear that's one of my favorite feature of him and I'm glad he knows it 😭. Im so fucking happy he is keeping his adorably crooked teeth.

Ears. Yeah obsessed with that lil ears too. The one JK sucked to his mouth infront of whole world lol. And when he wears those dangling earrings >>>>>>>>

Cheeks, JESUS. One bite that's all I'm asking. Rosy chubby cheeks... I just wanna squish. Deserved tons of kisses everyday. 🍞🍞

Hair. Oh luscious thick hair which suits ANY HAIR COLOR??? Has ability to make him look a 7 yr old innocent kid or 27 yr old hottest diva 💫💫

Neck. It shouldn't be underrated at all. His neck is long and thick and prettiest when he wears his dainty chains 😭💥

His slender body with narrow shoulder and frame ? I swear he's so cuddly material. His full frame is only the size of JK's torso 😭 and he's completely engulfed in a hug 😭

His hands ? Have you seen his dainty hands ? The way it moves sooo gracefully when he dances, the way he runs delicately through his body when he dances, it's so pretty GAWD

His chubby lil fingers 😭 He loves it, JK loves it, We loves it. And he adorn it with pretty rings. And y'all have noted his manicured long nails right. He keep it so clean and beautiful 😍

Have you all seen that waist??? He literally trended worldwide and in his home country for that snatched waist. And JK slipping hands inside to hold it ?? It's literally made to he held by strong arms ⌛

His navel ??? It's so smooth and pretty. And the way he's blessing us with some pretty crop tops now. Everyone say THANKYOU JIMIN..And those hips are everything, the way he moves it??

That almighty butt ??? JK obsessed OBSESSED af for. It's so fat and firm and shaply plumped. I'm as obsessed as JK 😭💔

Thighs saves lifes and Park Jimin's Thighs in skinny fit jeans saves this whole universe. The way it fills his skinny jeans ?? So fucking sexy and thick in all right places.

Long legs compared to that smaller upper body and those tiny feets which looks cute af when he wears slippers twice his size 😭💔

And tattoos, can we ignore those tattoos which adds to his beauty??? All tattoos are so HIM ans in the most right and sexiest places. Our Moon Goddess 🌙

His voice, no one can easily copy or replicate his beautiful voice. Its one of a kind, His voice is so Jimin, so soft yet so powerful and his giggles ?? the prettiest sound in this universe fr. I'm sad, JK is exclusive to hear some of the sounds.. just saying 👀

And his dancing?? The way everything surrounding disappears when our dancing doll begins to move 🥰🥰🥰 its Jimin tunnel vision whenever he dances. So graceful and flowy yet crisp and complete moves.

His style. It's so chic. From his outfits to Chelsea boots to his pretty jewelries. So simple yet so stylish. He looks so cute yet so sexy and hot in his style 🔥

Personality. Now that's the one makes him who he is. When I say he's literally an angel I mean it. So selfless, full of love, so caring, so adorable, so kind, so supportive, understanding, respectfu, grounded, calm, soft spoken ... idk I run out of words to praise his Angelic personality ❤❤ JK got an angel for himself.

All in all perfect, when JK said his favorite body part of Jimin is his WHOLE BODY he didn't lied. That man worships Jimin and loves his entire existence.

JIMIN HANDCRAFTED FOR JUNGKOOK

Anon... you realise Jimin is spoken for, right? Coz JK don't dick around, he will cut you.

[gennianydots]

Hi, what's your 30 favorite Asian BL characters from dramas or series you've watched? (unless you don't have that many)

Thanks.

30?!

Nonnie? Are you okay? Reblog if you’re okay. 30 is a lot! Alright. I’m going to try my best. Just for YOU. And because I love you so much, I have also given you my reasons WHY.

I also created parameters for myself, so this is the MEN. If you want to find out my top 30 WOMEN from Asian BL's/QL's, just ask!

1. Pran from Bad Buddy

He’s my son, my baby, the absolute love of my life. I would marry this man in a heartbeat, if he were not already betrothed to Pat.

2. Pat from Bad Buddy

He’s such a green flags guy, my clueless baby with horny-for-Pran-only/would-kill/die-for-him vibes. Don’t forget the man got shot!

3. Tinn from My School President

Need I say more? No. Tinn is goofy and cheesy and literally the best. He loves Gun so much he is willing to risk his school presidency just to get the chance to date Gun. I love him!

4. Gun from My School President

Is he smart? No. Is he clueless? Yes. Does he have a heart of gold and strong ambition? YES. He’s my full heart, empty-mind, music-loving, can’t-lose dork and he’s a close contender for #3 behind Tinn, an even bigger dork.

5. Tiw from My School President/Our Skyy 2

Oh boy. Mark Pakin is him, he is Mark Pakin- I loved him so much. I love his willingness to stay by his friend through high school crushes and that we got to see him dating Por in Our Skyy 2. Big feels. 😍

6. Heart and LiMing from Moonlight Chicken

You cannot make me choose. These two stole the whole show and gave zero fucks about it.

7. Kurosawa Yuichi from Cherry Magic JP

This man stole my heart in the first several minutes of the show. Love his attentive nature and softness.

8. Jang Jae Young from Semantic Error

This chaos gremlin motherfucker is my favorite. He pined HARD for his underclassmen and I adore him for it.

9. Wei Wuxian from Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed

I haven’t seen the Untamed but have watched the animated series and read the story for Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. I don’t think I’d be here if I hadn’t first fallen in love with this Bisexual Disaster. A true KING.

10. King from Bed Friend

Speaking of KINGS, King is the ultimate Green-Flags Doe-Eyes Fabio of my dreams.

11. Tinn’s Dad from My School President

The most Dad to ever Dad - ever.

12. Pi from Fish Upon the Sky

An autistic son of mine. Phuwin made me laugh when I needed it the most. This show was a disaster but I loved this character!

13. Yok from Not Me

First crushed it in this role and he made Yok incredibly sexy the amazing, diverse character we see on screen.

14. Porsche from KinnPorsche

I joined the BL fandom with the KP group! I love when Porsche throws himself off the boat to get away from Kinn, peeing in the Koi pond, the sacrifices he made to protect Chay and every moment before and after.

15. Kinn from KinnPorsche

Daddy. I don’t think I need to say anything else. 😈

16. Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi from We Best Love

Holy hell, these men can act! They both really won me over in season 2, but I rooted for these boyfriends throughout the whole thing.

17. Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse

I can’t separate these two, either. I really loved First/Khaotung in these roles too. I can't picture anyone else who would have done them justice.

18. Team from Between Us

I just realized recently how much I enjoyed Between Us, and Team is so cute in this - I can't explain, I just like him a lot.

19. Win from Between Us

Team's boyfriend was also a highlight of Between Us for me.

20. Tsuge Masato from Cherry Magic JP

He made me laugh a lot. I loved him as the neurotic friend.

21. Gun from A Boss and a Babe

I love Force, Actually? He did a good job with playing an older role, even though he is younger than Book IRL.

22. Longtae from Tale of Thousand Stars

It was so CUTE seeing baby Khaotung in this role, and I cheered every time he was on screen. (I enjoyed Longtae more than Tian or Phupha - though I do think Mix did an excellent job as Tian the teacher).

23. Jedi from The Warp Effect

Does this count? It’s a very gay show. I say it counts. Again, a Mark Pakin role that he crushed.

24. Bosston from Until We Meet Again/Between Us

We are sticking with Green Flags only guys here. It was a tiny role but I loved it.

25. Klabkluen from Star and Sky: Star in My Mind

Have you seen Joong PINE over Dunk? He's the best PINER I've ever seen. This was mostly a fluff watch but I enjoyed Joong's performance.

26. Dew from 609 Bedtime Story

Well, this show was all over the place. I thoroughly enjoy time shenanigans in my shows so I stuck with it to the end, even if it ultimately made no sense. I have always thought Fluke Natouch was very talented though, and I found his performance here better than in Until We Meet Again, or Between Us. (He just "P'Dean"-ed all over the place and was too much of a blushing maiden for me).

27. Khondiao from Cutie Pie

I liked him better than the mains. 🤷‍♀️

28. Kim from KinnPorsche

My sad little meow-meow who ghosts a child. Also it's Jeff.

29. Ki Tae from Our Dating Sim

This show was so cute. I am a big fan of characters who pine for a long time before their crush finds out.

30. Payu from Love in the Air

Lots of controversy here as many folks didn't enjoy this show. I say credit where credit is due, Payu is the bisexual hottie I was looking for. The chemistry between Payu and Rain was also off the charts.

Thanks for reading!! Again, if you want my top 30 females you will have to ask me! Thank you to all the gif-makers who made the gifs I stole for this post. You are the true heroes of my heart. Muah Muah!

[aceofwhump]

I'm sorry but I need to just ramble for a second because holy bleeping shit I am shook. Sooo uhmmm I'm not too sure if you're familiar with the movie/novel Misery but fuck, why on earth did I decide to read this shit right before going to bed 😂? I don't like scary stuff so this book is way out of my comfort zone but I found myself way too intrigued by the description of a man being held captive by his rescuer following a car accident.

So far I've been enjoying the descriptions of the character's anguish but the part I just ended on was the most gruesome thing I've ever read and I have no idea how I'm supposed to sleep now so RIP to that I guess (I mean foot + axe + blowtorch, I'll leave the rest to your imagination).

Anyway all of this to say, your David Tennant gifs have been a lovely distraction, what a gorgeous man 😍! I'm now just picturing his adorable crying face and not well... blood and a severed- okay moving on. Might have to further cleanse my brain with cute cat videos followed by bingeing old interviews of Aaron Tveit, Jonah H K and Johnny Bailey, bunch of cutie pies the lot of them. Okay I'll leave now! Merry Christmas, I mean good night! Or afternoon. or morning wherever you are! Adios amigo !

Please feel free to ramble at me any time! I love passionate rambles :D

I've seen the movie Misery but it was so long ago I don't remember much of it. The only part I really remember is when she takes a sledge hammer to his feet to hobble him which is the movie version of the scene I think your referencing? And damn that sounds freaking intense!! I've never read the book but jeezus! That's very different and insane!

Aw I'm glad my David Tennant gifs could be a good palate cleanser! I love that. His crying face is the best ins't it? I love him. And good choices for other palate cleansers lol. I've got tags for all three should you need them ;)

Have a lovely day and a night and holiday season nonny!

[getawayheaven]

Heyyyy you... thanks for all the cutestesstttestt pics of louis..

I've a question for you.. I know that you might know as much as a next person about HL life, but perspective differs from person to person.. and I would like to know yours.. so here it goes, why do you think louis is singing 'I love him, I hate it' in back to you.. is he saying that he loves this person and he hates that he cannot do anything about it?? I know most of the people are thinking harry and B could just be friends.. but I don't think so, I came to terms with that when harry posted his backstage pic after brits and it had B next to him, even his manager, producer were all somewhere far comparatively.. I also realized that I don't care much about H being with anyone as much as I thought I would.. but I care about louis, like a loooooot.. I was a larrie or still am, I don't know it's all messy now but I always thought always you, habit, back to you are for harry.. Louis removing first 2 songs from setlist kind of felt odd, the songs which were received very well in his concerts irrespective of what or who they are about.. but him singing 'I love him' has surprised me.. Louis is very very private and he just doesn't do such things often, he does not let people know that he is anything other than straight.. except for people in fandom who is painfully aware that he is not..but him changing the lyric is kind of big deal.. is he trying to give confirmation that he is in fact not straight or that he singing that he still did not get over H and he hates that feeling(it's because i think they are not together) .. I would hope they still are, because I've never seen that adoration or love on louis face if its not for harry.. so I just hope he is doing fine..

You are most welcome anon. 😍

Louis is in his best phase right now. He has confessed that he's not taking much pressure and he's enjoying his life. The situation was much different when he started the tour and he used to feel pressurised and anxious. So even though I'm not sure if HL are together or not but I for sure know that Louis feels very content right now. In both his career and personal life. He's doing great on tour, we know how excited he is for another edition of his own festival this year too. He's very happy about his sister's pregnancy (the amount of baby posts he liked just to celebrate that news was insane lol). So please don't worry about him, he's doing great and he knows he's gonna get bigger and bigger with every album.

Regarding the 'I love him' line I really think it's just queer coded. He has been very confident about his approach towards fans and he knows people love him so he has been doing some things that I wouldn't have believed he would ever do before this tour. That include I love him line and fucked him written on screen behind him. So I don't think it has anything to do with his relationship status but it's much more about his desire to be seen for who he really is. All because he's so fucking confident in himself right now. I agree it really is a big deal. And m so glad he's taking these steps. And really Louis just removed songs that didn't suit his vibe on this tour. Those songs weren't in accordance with his current pop punk image. It was a decision based on his overall set list and new album. I don't think it has anything to do with who he wrote them for.

And Brad? He's just another white rich asshole feeding off harry's money and fame that Harry needs to keep around like a minion. I really don't think there's anything between Harry and Bread. He's just another useless addition to his team, much like Xander was, X's gf was, X's brother was, James corden was, and several others were. If harry wanted to start such a public relationship with a male then his team would have roasted it enough to get attention worth his entire lifetime. They won't leave such a perfect opportunity. And they definitely would have kept Brad's image pure and perfect to let harry come out with him. But there are enough reports of Brad picking fangirls up from the crowd. This braddary thing is just baseless tbh. It's just a ship made by people who goes by the moto "Anyone but Louis". Basically Louis haters. So just chill about Brad, he will fade in background when Jeff will lend another minion to Harry.

[anisaanisa]

hi! so there's this thing - list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the inbox of the last 10 people who have reblogged something from you - to get to know your mutuals and followers!!

Hi @cookiemonstor86 so nice to see you!😍

I've done 2 of these now so I'm gonna go for something a lil different this time, cause I can only say "coffee" so many times 😂 So, here are 5 Inuyasha fandom specific happytimes 🤸‍♀️

Fanfiction Writers - I cannot begin to describe the joy that Inuyasha fanfiction has brought me throughout the years, there just aren't the right words for the proverbial paper. I love reading in general, so reading so many scenarios of my faves has brought me ENDLESS JOY. And now that I have Tumblr, the amount of Tumblr-exclusive fics I’ve found? Glorious.

Fan-Artists - NOW, this one bowled me over in 2020 when I joined this hellsite to find so much Tumblr-exclusive fanart. Things that exist here and only here, it's almost maddening. I've scoured this landscape and found some of the most beautiful art I never would have seen otherwise, incredible.

InuKag - The blessed OTP that will always have my heart. While I've read and enjoyed so many other ships now, nothing will move these adorable dummies from their place at no.1, ever.

Shippo - Turns out this wily fucker is my favourite character, do not come for my fox child, he is precious and THE BEST. Anytime he comes across my dash, or a writer gets him just right, the grin I wear is exceptionally silly, I love him.

The Community - There’s something really fucking special about having a group of people to shout into the void about fictional characters with, it’s almost sacred. And I've met some real gems across Tumblr and Discord who have become "real life" friends, and for that I am forever grateful.

Thank you for the ask! These ones always brighten my day 😘💓

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature ahh I've finally reached the first chapter of the next act 😍!

The phone booth that stood before them looked terribly out of place, red and man-made and screaming from within as the phone tucked inside its guts rang out. I would have quoted the entire first part because I adored how you described the scene. You fully immersed me in one of the best cinematic scenes of the series. So well that I swear I could see it playing out in front of my eyes. I particularly loved your description of the lone phone booth (this has inspired a new change in theme for my page 😂😍). And you're so right with your observations, one I made when I first watched this scene too. What the hell is it doing there 😂?? It's completely out of place. I don't think I've ever seen a phone booth randomly dumped like that in the middle of no where as a kid growing up in the UK 😅.

Wraith’s hooves clomped against the hard ground, snorts and quiet whinnies sounding from his nose. Ahh, I also really loved this description of Wraith 😍. And with the wind currently battering everything outside where I am, this whole scene was just perfectionist to read ❤️.

That was how things were these days, for the most part. Lizzie may have begrudgingly given her blessing for Tommy to remain seeing Lucy behind closed doors despite his marriage to her, but that did not mean she was particularly happy about it. This made me scoff so loudly! "Blessing"🙄. Lizzie came second! The day she finally realises her place in this arrangement, I will scream with joy! I'm kinda relieved the initial beginnings of this "marriage" are over. I know Lizzie's still kicking her feet about things, but it's a fair amount of years since the last act, so I'm hoping 🤞🏼 that she's at least done with her attempts to seduce Tommy (remembers "you're my property" scene 😳).

I'm gutted to read about Lucy and Charlie's strained relationship 😭. I can see how it could have easily happened with Lucy always away from work, but it's still heartbreaking to see how bad things have become in the household.

Oh, she was going to disembowel Michael fucking Gray. Please do, Lucy! And start with that moustache first. Maybe plucking out each hair one by one 😂.

“I won’t be on my own. I’m never on my own.” Tommy pulled himself into the saddle. “Lucy,” arghhh, I squealed at this 😍! I loved the double meaning to this. Instead of him referring to Grace like he does in the series, he's referring to Lucy 🥰. They really are joined at the hip!

Gosh, another heartbreaking scene for both Tommy and Lucy as they see their lover 😔. I continue to love how you make them descend into these darker moments together. They share so much pain, and instead of dealing with it separately, they always go through it together. Part of me believes they do because they're the same person, that deals with thing in the same way. And another part of me believes it's because they couldn't possibly do it without the other. Like the saying "a problem shared is a problem halved". They're so codependent on each other, and where some people might think that's not a healthy trait to have in a relationship, for Tommy and Lucy it's the only way for them to survive 😭❤️.

Lucy did not speak much during the meeting, though she almost jumped across the conference table to throttle Linda at multiple points. The image of Lucy lunging over the table at Linda in my mind was both epic and hilarious 😂!

Oooh the tension was thick during the Garrison scene. I know Ada is only looking out for her younger brother, but it made me a little nervous how she and Lizzie seemed to gang up. I really hope this isn't the start of something, because she was so understanding of Tommy and Lucy's relationship in the previous part 😬.

She stood, muttering, “I can’t be bothered with this shit,” loud enough for everyone to hear, before storming out the door. Ahh, good ol'Lizzie, always there to make things even more awkward. Even in the series, I never got the impression that Lizzie was really in, in, with what the family was up to. So when I read this part, i was as shocked as Lucy at her outburst and so perfectly worded "cunty" behaviour!

Great chapter, Lily! Can't wait to read more 😍.

Part 26: Do You Love Me

Summary: Devastating news from Michael in America leads Tommy and Lucy to congregate with ghosts.

Word Count: 6,213

Warnings: Drug use, polyamory, animal death, and references to pregnancy.

Notes: This chapter is a little heavy on exposition, so sorry in advance for that. But there's a bit of a time jump between this and the previous part, so I wanted to make sure everyone was caught up on the dynamics between the characters before we really hit the ground running.

Previous Part • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 1: Gathering Storm

The wind howled over the barren hills, pushing white wisps of mist across the landscape. There was hardly a tree in sight, and what little browned or yellowed grass there was trembled against the cold breeze. The phone booth that stood before them looked terribly out of place, red and man-made and screaming from within as the phone tucked inside its guts rang out. 

Wraith’s hooves clomped against the hard ground, snorts and quiet whinnies sounding from his nose. His sides flexed against Lucy’s legs with each movement, betraying the powerful muscle encased under his deep black pelt. 

Tommy eased him to a stop beside the phone booth and dismounted, handing her the reins. Lucy turned her head to look out at the wasteland of dirt and rolling hills around them as he ducked into the booth to pick up the still shrieking phone. Wind tugged lightly at her red curls and kissed icily at her freckled cheeks. Wraith snorted, shifting from foot to foot, dipping his enormous head, black mane twisting in the breeze. Lucy gave him a gentle pat to quell his impatience, watching the dark silhouette of Tommy’s body through the glass panes of the phone booth. Condensation beaded on the transparent material, leaving it blurry. 

They had been out living on the land for a few days. Sleeping in vardos, eating what they were able to catch or forage, and languishing in the fresh air that was free from the smoke and soot of the city. Lizzie and the kids were with them, as was Johnny Dogs and some of his kin. All of whom were lingering back at the camp while she and Tommy went to take the prearranged phone call. It was nice. A much needed break of the usual insanity of their lives. 

Well, it had been nice. All the way up until that business with Dangerous. 

Lucy swallowed hard, adjusting her grip on Wraith’s reins. Poor, sweet, wild horse. Tommy had been nearly despondent when it became clear they would have to put him down. He had insisted on doing the deed alone, and when he came to her after it was done, there was a shakiness in his hands that only she knew him well enough to notice, and his eyes were unsteady and clouded over with grief and something dark and despairing. 

The wind picked up a little, and the walls of the phone booth creaked and rattled. A foreboding death whistle sounded across the hills. Lucy shifted uncomfortably, adjusting the lay of her peaked cap on her head, trying to pull it down to protect her ears from the cold. 

Tommy emerged from the booth a moment later, eyes sweeping across the muddied hills, taking in the gray clouds gathering in the sky. He looked tired, the face under the shadow of his cap drawn in and layered with stress. 

“Everything alright?” she asked when he approached, scooting back in the saddle so that he could climb into the space in front of her on the stallion.  

“Yeah. Arthur got a letter from the Angels of Retribution. They said that they hadn’t even heard of us, so I told Finn to send Aberama and Isiah to introduce themselves. But to stay out of it himself.” 

“Good.” Isiah and Aberama were two of their soldiers that she trusted the most. Aberama had proven himself to be an invaluable asset. Shaped by experience, calculation, and ruthlessness. And Isiah…well, Isiah had been trained by her personally. “Ready to head back?”

Tommy took hold of the reins, sighing and looking out at the vast landscape around them. They could disappear out here, if they wanted to. Never to be seen again. “Yeah,” he said, in a voice that indicated the exact opposite. Lucy wrapped both arms around his waist, pressing her front to his back, holding onto him for both stability and comfort. He lowered one of his big palms to rest on top of hers where they clasped against his stomach, thumb rubbing her knuckles before taking hold of the reins. He snapped them once and drove his heels into Wraith’s sides, and the massive black stallion took off in a ferocious, booming gallop across the field.

They rode back the long way, neither of them saying anything as the wind whipped at their clothes. Lucy didn’t mind; she could sense that Tommy needed the time to think.  

By the time they picked their way to the ridge overlooking where they had made camp, the wind had died down somewhat. Good thing, too. The cold was making her shoulders begin to ache with the pains that so often plagued them.

Looking down, she could see the little figures of Johnny and his boys moving amongst the wagons. They had dug a huge hole in the time that they’d been gone, a small mountain of dirt piled up next to it. The little lake shimmered in the sunlight. A dog barked. 

Tommy brought Wraith to a stop, staring with his eyes fixed not on the hole Johnny and his men had dug, but the body wrapped in canvas next to it. Lucy gave him a small squeeze around the middle. Near the wagons, by where a table and chairs had been erected, she could see the tall, elegantly dressed figure of Lizzie looking up at them. Beside her, a smaller figure, hard to make out at this distance, but probably Ruby, turned her head to stare at the ridge. 

In front of her, Tommy shifted, reaching into his pocket and procuring a small brown bottle, uncorking it. 

“Can I have some?” she asked, after he took a small swig. He passed it back to her silently. The drug burned slightly as it entered her mouth and coated her throat. She was mindful not to drink too much; she was small, and it wouldn’t take a lot to have her flying high as a kite if she wasn’t careful. Handing back the vial to Tommy, he slid the cork back into place and pocketed it. 

More and more often, they found themselves swigging from that little bottle.

Tommy nudged Wraith into moving again, and they started to follow the path descending the ridge, heading into the camp. 

Once they arrived, Tommy dismounted first to be immediately greeted by Ruby running to him. He stooped, beckoning her to him and scooping her into his arms. Lizzie was right behind her daughter, moving to walk by Tommy’s side as he carried Ruby over to where the wagons were stationed. She gave a thin, barely perceptual smile to Lucy as she passed by the horse. 

That was how things were these days, for the most part. Lizzie may have begrudgingly given her blessing for Tommy to remain seeing Lucy behind closed doors despite his marriage to her, but that did not mean she was particularly happy about it.  

It was no secret that Tommy and Lizzie had problems. Lucy lived at Arrow House with them; she had a front row seat to all the shouting matches and bitter resentment that had plagued their marriage. 

She had done her best not to get involved. Tommy and Lizzie’s relationship was their business, and she doubted that Lizzie would respond well to her meddling in it. But it was hard, with her proclivity to want to fix things for people, to not try to repair their strained union. 

Things between her and Lizzie were…tumultuous. They’d had their share of rough patches here and there in the years since she and Tommy got married. Incidents like Lizzie asking Lucy to move rooms. It had been shortly after Lizzie and Ruby moved into Arrow House. Lizzie had wanted Ruby to have the room closest to the master bedroom should she need her in the middle of the night. Lucy hadn’t minded. Of course, she had assumed that Lizzie would have her moved to one of the unoccupied rooms further down the hall, not to the opposite end of the house. In a drafty, overlooked room. The drafts went unfixed for nearly a month, despite her bringing them up to Lizzie multiple times. It was only after Tommy took notice of them that they were finally dealt with. 

Over time she’d grown used to Lizzie’s bursts of jealousy-induced passive aggression, even though it still always stung. Despite her attempts to not let it bother her. In the end, she really felt quite sorry for her, and massively guilty for the role she had undeniably played in amplifying her misery. 

She should have put a stop to it all earlier, back when Lizzie was still a prostitute that she and Tommy frequented when looking for a bit of variety in their sex life. And especially after he had made Lizzie his secretary. And yet they still continued to intermediately sleep with her. That had been a mistake, and not just because of the pregnancy. It had led Lizzie on, and that hadn’t been fair.

And then they’d gone and made things even worse when Tommy married Lizzie.

They had not been dishonest about the arrangement that would come with the marriage. Tommy had not married Lizzie for love, but for convenience. Having an illegitimate child could hurt his image as a politician. And he needed a wife. Someone to run the house and care for the children while he was gone. And to help project the image of a traditional family to his constituents. Marrying her was the right, respectable thing for him to do. Lizzie would enjoy all the benefits of being Mrs. Shelby, but Tommy and Lucy would be continuing their relationship. They had all been clear on that. Lizzie had said that she was okay with that.  

But Lizzie had always been in love with Tommy. Lucy had seen it in her eyes, years ago. And their current actions had done nothing but fan the flames of hope that Lizzie carried in her heart that someday, Tommy would love her the way that she wanted him to. Lucy sometimes wondered if Lizzie thought that if she wanted it badly enough, she’d be able to change him into the man that she wanted him to be.  

Tommy had tried. Sort of. Lucy had seen it during the first year of his marriage to Lizzie. He had tried so hard to play the role of if not a loving and attentive husband, than at the very least a present and dutiful one. But as time went on and the mask slipped, he had ultimately given up the charade, resigning himself to a life with a wife who he didn’t love. 

And then the bitterness and resentment came. There were days where things were better. Lucy could sit by the fire, giggling and playing cards or chess with Lizzie after the kids had gone to bed. But then there were days where even the smallest thing set Lizzie off, spewing cruel words at her or Tommy who, true to his nature, gave just as good as he got.  

In all honesty, Arrow House was no longer the refuge that it had once been. She and Tommy were now relegated to quick and brief touches and kisses in the darkest corners of the house or else they risked Lizzie’s ire. Not that work was much different, as anything outside of strictly professional behavior could risk blowing up everything they had worked so hard to build these past few years. There was the apartment they had in London for when they worked too late to justify driving back to Birmingham, but often when they went there they were both too exhausted to do much more than sleep. It was with a bit of a startle that Lucy realized that she could not remember the last time they had done anything even remotely romantic outside of quick, almost mindless fucks.  

One of Johnny’s boys came over to lead Wraith away by the reins, and Lucy remained securely seated in the saddle, resting a hand on the back of the irritable horse’s neck. Even after so many years, he didn’t take too kindly to strangers, and there was always a risk when someone unfamiliar tried to approach him that he would try to bite or kick. But with her still astride him, he behaved himself, letting Johnny’s boy guide him towards one of the wagons. 

“I’ll do that,” she said to the man, dismounting with ease and taking the rope he was about to use to tie Wraith to the side of the vardo. He nodded respectfully, handing it over and walking around her to go help Johnny and his men haul the carcass of Dangerous into the grave they’d dug.  

She’d just finished looping the rope into place, giving Wraith a companionable pat on the flank when she heard Charlie’s voice raise in an angry cry from where he, Tommy, Lizzie, and Ruby were all gathered at a nearby wagon,

“No! It’s what you do! Shoot horses, shoot people. Everybody says!” He stood, turned, and disappeared back into the wagon, stomping his little feet in a way that was eerily similar to his father. 

Tommy winced, shoulders drawing in, expression locking down in a way that Lucy recognized as him working very hard not to let the hurt he was feeling show too obviously on his face. Straightening, he fetched a cigarette from his case and went to the hole where Dangerous’s body lay. After a moment’s hesitation, Ruby followed him. 

“What happened?” Lucy asked in a quiet voice, going to stand by Lizzie, slipping off her gloves to tuck them away in her pocket.

“Charlie heard Johnny say in Rokka that Tommy shot the horse.”

“Oh.”

“He doesn’t understand that it was out of mercy. And he won’t listen to anyone who tries to explain it to him.”

Lucy sighed, pulling out and lighting a cigarette. “Well, at least we know he’s been paying attention when learning his languages.”

“Maybe you could try talking to him…”

She flicked ash down onto the grass. “He doesn’t really listen to me all that much these days.”

Lizzie looked down and away. Lucy thought she might’ve seen a flicker of guilt in her eyes. 

There was a time when she and Charlie were close. She had known him since before he was born. And even prior to Grace’s death, she had been a second mother to him. Something both Tommy and Grace encouraged. Her lovers had wanted their son to see her as another parent, and so that was the position she had taken up in his life. Or at least tried to. 

But things had shifted in the past few years. Some of it could be chalked up to just the boy growing up and that typical Shelby willfulness finally making itself known. She didn’t think, for all her faults and all the strife between them, that Lizzie had purposefully driven a wedge between her and Charlie. But working with Tommy in London meant that she wasn’t home as much, and with Lizzie always at Arrow House and functioning more often as his mother than Lucy was, things had changed. Slowly, they drifted apart. And now he hardly spoke to her. He called Lizzie Mum, but not her. Never her.

Lucy could not fault him for growing more partial to Lizzie. After all, she was the one who was always there, to help him with his schoolwork, attend his extracurriculars, mind that he ate his vegetables at dinner, and kiss his scraped knees when he fell playing in the garden. It made sense that he would grow closer to her, and that he would side with her when he saw just how much distress the arrangement between his three parents brought her. In his eyes, Lucy had to figure that she appeared to be the primary source of his mother’s pain. 

Maybe she was. 

Perhaps that was why she gave up so easily without a fight, letting him drift away from her with no protest. A way to try to atone for the agony she had caused Lizzie. She may have Lizzie’s husband, but Lizzie had her child. 

She loved Charlie. She only ever wanted what was best for him, and right now, that was Lizzie. She would take care of him, offer him the closest thing to a normal, stable life that was possible for him to have.

It was better for him, this way. He deserved a better mother than the broken fragments that was all Lucy had to offer. 

Despite her understanding of her boy’s–no, not hers, not anymore–changed emotions towards her, it hurt like a knife to the chest. She had loved him from the moment she first held him, had rocked him to sleep hundreds of times when he was a baby, had watched him grow up into the precocious little boy he was now. He was her baby. Or at least the closest she would ever have to one. 

Of Tommy’s two children, Ruby was surprisingly the one who was warmer towards her these days. But then again, Ruby was sweet with everyone.   

Turning her gaze back over to where Tommy stood by the unfilled grave with his daughter, she examined the lines of sorrow standing out starkly on his face as he gazed at the dead horse in the hole. She dropped her cigarette to the ground, grinding it under her heel, about to go to him when the growl of an approaching engine caught her attention. Her head turned, hand half raising to dip inside her coat to where her revolver sat in its holster tucked securely against her ribs, before she recognized it as Arthur’s car. 

By the grave, Tommy had also noticed the car, ushering Ruby over towards Lizzie and moving to meet Arthur when he shut off the engine and jumped out of the driver’s seat. He had a newspaper in his hand. 

Lucy moved to stand at Tommy’s side, craning her head around his shoulder to peer at the newspaper’s headline when Arthur handed it over. 

BILLIONS LOST IN WALL STREET CRASH, it read, in huge black letters. Behind them, she could hear the scrape of shovels and the dull thud of dirt being dumped back into the hole. 

Despite the headline, her stomach did not drop with horror. They had known that this was coming. Tommy had already instructed Michael to sell before the numbers of the stocks and shares collapsed, so they would be–generally speaking–unaffected. 

It wasn’t until Arthur started speaking, explaining how Michael had ignored their advice in favor of that of a broker and held on, that her guts began to turn with outrage and dismay. Michael had held on. And taken them all down with him.

She exhaled roughly, taking a step back, slowly shaking her head. Oh, no. Oh, fucking no.

How much had they lost? Just trying to do the calculations in her head for a ballpark number made her temples start to hurt. 

Oh, she was going to disembowel Michael fucking Gray.

Incompetent, arrogant, backstabbing fool. They should never have forgiven him for that shit he pulled during the vendetta. Banishment had been too kind a punishment for him.  

“That idiot,” she seethed, looking to Tommy. “I’m going to kill him.”

The expression on his face said that he may very well let her. He started to tread back and forth, rubbing at his eyes, mumbling in a way she knew was more to himself than to any of them. His teeth were grinding together, jaw jumping under his skin. It did not take long before he was shouting, pacing the ground like an angry jaguar and raging.

“What do I have to do to make people fucking listen to me!?” he screamed into the wind, a hand going to clasp over his mouth as he paced a few more times then stilled, eyes staring with his mind spinning behind them. 

And then he was jumping into action, sounding off orders to both Lizzie and Arthur with a snap of his fingers. He did not need to give Lucy her directions, she already knew them, reaching into her pocket to procure her leather gloves and slide them over her hands, gesturing to one of Johnny’s men to get Wraith where he was tied up. 

“I need to do some thinking,” Tommy announced as he headed towards the horse with Arthur on his heels. 

“Oh. Oh, you do that best on your own, don’t you, eh?” Arthur challenged, agitated. 

“I won’t be on my own. I’m never on my own.” Tommy pulled himself into the saddle. “Lucy,” he said, and she was already there, reaching up to take his outstretched hand, the strength in his arm helping to leverage her up onto Wraith’s back behind him. He gave one last set of instructions to Lizzie, and a final parting word to Arthur, and then he was driving Wraith into a gallop deeper into the hills. This time, they did not head up to the top of the ridge, but instead towards the trees, Wraith’s canter slowing as they entered the dense thicket of foliage, the wilderness seemingly opening up, and swallowing them whole. 

∗ ∗ ∗  

“Do you want me to kill him?”

They were seated on a log in front of the dancing flames of the fire Tommy had ignited shortly after darkness fell over the forest. Lucy had her head on his shoulder, leaning against his side to soak in the warmth that radiated from his body.

“Hm,” Tommy hummed, fingertips stroking where they rested on her upper arm, cheek turning against the top of her head. She had to bite back a smile at the clear consideration in his voice. “Not yet. Not until we know what really happened.”

“He’s a snake.”

“He’s an idiot. But that doesn’t mean this was a purposeful betrayal.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a sigh, adjusting her head on him. Tommy picked at a sprig of mint held in his gloved hands, pulling off a few of the green leaves and popping them into his mouth. Wraith snorted from where he was tied to a nearby tree. “I still don’t trust him.”  

Tommy tossed the remainder of the sprig away. “Me neither.”

Before them, the fire popped and crackled. Lucy grabbed a few bits of kindling that they’d collected to feed into the flames. 

“I hate to add more onto your plate, but I got a message from Ada’s doctor earlier.” Every day since they’d been out in the country, she went to the red phone booth to take messages from Frances, Isiah, and their other various informants. “She’s pregnant.”

Tommy sighed deeply, but didn’t appear surprised. “Younger’s?”

“The doctor didn’t know, but I would assume so. Who else could it be? Not that it affects things all that much. I just thought you should know. So you don’t get blindsided by it later.”

“Thank you.”

They fell into companionable silence again. He had been quiet since they took off into the woods, busy in his head working on all the new problems Michael had just created for them. Lucy offered suggestions and insights when prompted, but otherwise just let him be, knowing after so many years together that her presence at his side was all he needed while he strategized. 

He shifted, reaching into his pocket to once more procure the little bottle of dope he kept tucked away there. Uncorking it, he handed it over to her first. Lucy took it gratefully, the glass cold against her fingers as she brought it to her lips and tilted her head back to take a swig. Almost immediately, she felt her mind begin to loosen, the corners of her eyesight growing fuzzy. 

She handed the bottle back to Tommy. There wasn’t much left; and he downed the remainder of the drug, tossing the empty bottle into the fire uncaringly. His arm went around her once more, the solid strength of it holding her to his side. Lucy snuggled in close, grateful for the comfort and heat, hoping that she could offer the same to him. 

Her eyes closed, and together, they waited for the ghost. 

She did not need to open her eyes to know once she had arrived. She could sense the way that the air around them seemed to shift, the weight of another presence appearing across the fire from them heavy despite her lack of a corporeal body.

Tommy spoke to her a little, and she responded in her gentle Irish lilt. Lucy could hear the smile on her face. The love in her voice.  

Quick as she appeared in front of them, she was suddenly behind them, her arms encircling them. Solid and real, though they shouldn’t have been. Her body was nothing but ash, spreading into the wind, and yet she was there, holding them as though she had never left. 

“All this time…” Tommy murmured, reaching to hold onto the ghost tighter. 

“I know. Our love still remains,” Grace said. Lucy felt tears squeeze from her eyes to roll down her cheeks. Grace’s hand petted the back of her head. 

She had been coming to them both more and more often lately. They had each seen her on rare occasions before, but now it was a regular occurrence. Probably because of the dope. 

Shared hallucinations, or real? It didn’t really matter. She was there. She was speaking to them and holding them. Things were as they once were, before she and their only real chance at happiness was ripped away from them. 

She was gone as quickly as she arrived, leaving nothing but cold air where she once stood over them. Lucy snatched at the empty space where her hand had been settled on her dead lover’s waist, lips trembling. Instead she latched onto Tommy, feeling him maneuver her so that her head was in his lap. He hugged her tighter, face bowing to bury in her hair, and there in the dark, she felt through their bond the true heavy weight of his despair crashing down onto them both, and the dampness of his salty tears dripping onto her scalp to seep into her skin. 

∗ ∗ ∗

By morning, they had a plan mapped out. Not a particularly desirable or moralistic one, but then again, few of their strategies ever really were. 

It would sustain them until the current financial crisis was over, at the very least.

The first meeting on the subject was held at the Shelbys’ office in Birmingham. The long table in the conference room was already occupied by Polly, Ada, Arthur, Linda, Lizzie, and Leon Greene when Lucy and Tommy arrived. Lucy raised an eyebrow at the tension she felt already crackling in the air and shared a look with Tommy as she sat down in the chair to the right of his.

The meeting went over well enough, despite Linda’s snobbish remarks and attempts to undercut Tommy at every turn. She’d been getting worse, ever since Arthur became chairman of the board. Like she thought that it was her husband who ought to be king, instead of Tommy. 

The idea made Lucy want to roll her eyes so hard in her head that they were at risk of popping out. She loved Arthur to pieces, she really did. But he was not suited to the position of leading the empire Tommy had built. 

Lucy did not speak much during the meeting, though she almost jumped across the conference table to throttle Linda at multiple points. Instead, she relegated herself to the sidelines, watching and listening quietly, as she so often did. Examining the faces of those seated around the table as Tommy explained their current financial situation, and his proposal for what they were to do to try to mitigate it.

At the end of the meeting, all of them–except for Linda who had already stormed out–voted unanimously to go forward with Tommy’s plan. 

Not that there had ever been any doubt that they would. 

The next meeting was for family only. They left Mr. Greene back at the office while the rest of them stepped out into the smoky air of Small Heath, heading for the Garrison. They entered the pub to rapturous cheers and applause, people immediately swarming around Tommy, eager to shake his hand and thank him for the work he’d been doing. 

Lucy watched him work the room, effortlessly charming each person who approached him. By the time he raised his voice to address the entire population residing in the pub, he had them all in the palm of his hand. He probably could have told them all to walk into the canal and they would have done so without question. 

His request that they move into the saloon bar attached to the pub, albeit with the incentive of a promise of free drinks, was met with more cheers, the patrons hurrying towards the doors. Ada, Polly, and Lizzie all went to convene in one of the booths while Tommy leaned his shoulder against a nearby pillar, and Arthur went to sit in a chair at a table next to the booth. Lucy moved to close the doors leading into the saloon bar once all the patrons were packed inside, flicking the lock into place. Then she pulled up a chair between Arthur and Tommy, shedding her coat to lay over the back of it before sitting. 

The meeting started off with Ada drawing a bullet from the depths of her handbag and setting it down on the table in front of her. Followed by an announcement that not only had Finn disobeyed them about staying out of the hit they’d ordered in Chinatown, and as a result ended up on Ada’s couch with a bullet in his arm, but he’d also completely spilled his guts to her as far as the details of what he’d been doing there. 

Fucking kid needed a lesson in how to keep his damn mouth shut. 

But the damage had been done, and Ada and Lizzie were both well and truly furious about the whole thing.

“Oh, Tommy, sweetheart,” Lizzie shook her head. Lucy raised her eyebrows at the term of endearment. “I listen to you. I listen to you when you tell me no more sport for anyone named Shelby. I listen to you when you make me promises.”

Lucy looked down at her hands, unconsciously playing with the plain golden rings that encircled several of her fingers. Guilt twisted inside her like a snake, writhing and squirming. How many of those promises had Tommy broken, in the years since they’d been married?

How many times had it been her fault when he did? 

He tried to explain why he’d sent their boys into Chinatown, but that only seemed to fan the flames of Lizzie and Ada’s mounting anger. 

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” Lizzie snarled, slamming her hand down on the leather material lining the bench of the booth. 

“I think that you both are overreacting a little here,” Lucy decided to finally speak. “It’s not that big of a deal. And it’s not that different from the type of thing we used to do all the bloody time. Finn’s fine, an asshole pimp is dead, and we’re about to make a hefty hunk of cash for carrying out the hit.” 

“It was a particular opportunity.” Lucy started a little when, of all people, Polly chimed in. Polly, who hated her. Who had never accepted her. And yet, who had just spoken up in agreement with her. 

Lizzie’s eyes darted between her, Lucy, and Tommy. Something dawned on her face, and then her features hardened into a deadly expression that Lucy had become all too familiar with.

“But you told Polly and Lucy,” was all she said in response to the additional explanation that Tommy tried to give her, her voice cold as ice. And despite Polly, Arthur, and Tommy all starting to speak with further details and justifications for the whole thing, all it took was one look at Lizzie’s face and Lucy knew not a single word was actually getting through to her. She was too focused on that one detail: that her husband had told his lover and his aunt information that she believed herself to be entitled to know instead. 

She would be chewing on that for the remainder of the week. Probably even longer. 

“Lizzie, you need to understand–” Tommy started, but didn’t get very far. 

“That you tell Lucy and Polly, but not me.” Her jaw was clenched in a way that Lucy knew meant she was fighting very hard to keep the venom she wanted to spit at them from spewing out. Probably the only reason why it hadn’t already was because they were amongst others. If they’d been in private, she’d have told them both exactly what she thought of them. 

As if they didn’t know already. 

Tommy’s further attempts to smooth things over went about as well as Lucy expected. Once Lizzie got into one of her moods, she could be impossible to reason with. It was better to just leave her alone until it passed. 

“Lizzie, if Finn had listened to me, you wouldn’t have known. When we go home, I’ll explain,” Tommy tried. Lucy cringed, already knowing that was the wrong thing to say even before Lizzie scoffed and started to gather up her things. 

She stood, muttering, “I can’t be bothered with this shit,” loud enough for everyone to hear, before storming out the door. Lucy rolled her eyes. All this whining and complaining about not being kept in the loop on things, and yet every time she did have the opportunity to be involved, she acted as if it was the last thing she was actually interested in doing.  

Fuck, she was not looking forward to dealing with her and the earful she was sure they were due to get when they got home. Maybe it would be better for them to stay away for a few days to let Lizzie cool off. They could sleep over at their apartment in London instead of going home to Arrow House. 

It didn’t take long for Ada to follow Lizzie in storming out. Lucy watched her go, rubbing at one of her temples to try to stave off the headache she felt coming on. Jesus Christ, what was with all the cunty attitude today?

Tommy came to sit down in the vacant chair next to Lucy, leaning forward as Polly urged him to go easy on Ada on account of her pregnancy. It wasn’t all that surprising that Polly knew. Even if Ada hadn’t told her yet, Polly always knew when someone was pregnant. 

In fact, the only one left at that table who didn’t know was Arthur, who almost choked on his whiskey at the revelation.   

Polly left not long after that, though not before all but confirming to them that Ben Younger was the father of Ada’s baby. Lucy shared another knowing look with Tommy as he stood and slid into the booth, occupying the spot near the window where Polly had been a moment ago. Lucy shimmied in next to him, the red leather creaking a little under her as she got situated at his side. Arthur poured three glasses of whiskey, passing two of them across the table to her and Tommy.

Lucy sipped quietly at her drink while the brothers examined and discussed the bullet that had been ripped out of Finn’s arm. 

“Let me see,” she held out her hand for the bullet when Arthur asked about the writing on it. She squinted at the tiny characters carved into the metal. “Hm. My Chinese isn’t fantastic, but I think this one just says ‘death.’” She handed it back to Arthur.   

“Angels of Retribution?” he asked Tommy. 

“Yeah,” he kept turning his gaze out the window. Outside, Lucy could hear the sounds of horse’s hooves clomping against the cobbles and children chattering. She inched a little closer to him, until their sides just barely brushed. It was only them and Arthur; no need to try too hard to hide their relationship. 

“No one fucking listens to me,” Tommy lamented softly, leaning back with his head tilted towards the ceiling. Lucy nudged him companionably. 

“I do.”

He shot her a soft look, hand smoothing down the back of her head, leaning forward to kiss her hairline. His unspoken gratitude hummed between them warmly. He gave her a gentle tap on the back to let her know it was time to go after taking the bullet from Arthur and pocketing it. Lucy slipped out of the booth, going to grab her coat and tug it back on, wincing at a slight twinge in her shoulders as she did. 

“See you later, Arthur,” she said in goodbye to the eldest Shelby brother where he was still sat in the booth. Tommy gave him a pat on the shoulder, telling him to let the patrons in the saloon bar come back in if they wanted, and then led the way outside, into the smoke and soot of Small Heath. 

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[wikiangela]

okay, I watched the winchesters 1x01

here's some random and chaotic thoughts and comments I had while watching

spoilers ahead! (kinda long post sns haha)

before I start - I will try to keep an open mind even though I'm kinda meh on the whole premise of the prequel (I still think there's so many more cool concepts that could have been done about the spn universe instead of getting the winchester family again but whatever lol) and I only ever saw the actress playing Mary in Disney's zombies and even her Disney Channel acting wasn't that great so I'm not looking forward to seeing her.....

but again, keeping an open mind (I'll try lol)

here we go:

first time seeing John and I already know it's gonna take me a while to see anyone but JDM or Matt as John 😂😂 like, I guess I can kinda see it, but I need to get used to it haha

hearing Dean again - I'm immediately even more excited haha it's so weird, because I heard and saw Jensen in other things etc but this is Dean and it's so different

"story might sound familiar but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you" please do, the thing I was worried the most was it not fitting canon but also being the same story we already know haha

such a cheesy meet cute 😂 classic tho 💁🏻‍♀️😂

yeah, I can learn to see him as John, but I just do not like the actress that plays Mary sns

random thought: will we see Dean convincing John to buy the Impala?? because we kinda have to right? 😂 (I just googled it, he did it in 1973, the show starts in 72 - there's time but eventually I need this to happen pls 😂😂)

loved the fight scene, John accidentally hitting Mary was so funny 😂 and the exorcism!!! we haven't seen that since like the first few seasons of spn! love that!

(I'm curious as to who gave him the letter 👀👀👀)

so John just knows about demons now......... idk how I feel about that, I think I'm too hung up on canon where he didn't know until after Mary died 😂😂 i hope they explain it well later on 😂

it feels kinda weird how quickly they share sensitive information with each other tbh 😂 like, I get it under the circumstances, but still, they're basically strangers 😂 Mary is just casually explaining every single thing to this boy she just met, and he's just minimally freaked out 😂 I'm kinda loving it, it's funny 😂

oooh, is this a men of letters bunker?? so John already finds out about it... that's interesting

okay, I kinda like John 😂😂 It didn't take me that long to get used to this actor as John either, I'm only 15 minutes in and he's okay 💁🏻‍♀️

Mary is still not it - and the thing is, I think if it was anyone else, I'd love her, she's the type of characters I usually enjoy - but I just do not like this actress 😩

Latika is so cute tho omg 😍😍😍 and after one scene I already love her character too 😂 so I guess I know who my crush in this show is 😂😂😂 there's always someone 😂😂

I really like the war flashbacks, and just seeing what John is struggling with

the conversations while driving - it's the supernatural kind of scene and I love it 😂😂

"nothing more hydrating than holy water" why was Carlos' whole entrance so fucking cringe 😂😂 in a funny way tho so it's good 😂😂 but the sandwich recipe bit was a bit much 🙄😂 (loving his outfit tho 😍)

also, I looked it up just to make sure I wasn't misremembering or making it up, and apparently John and Mary couldn't stand each other and cupid had to get them together - and I hope we'll see that because so far they've been pretty friendly lol what's with the looks?? you're not supposed to like each other yet!! - again, I am way too hung up on canon but it is supposedly a prequel lol

oh, so Carlos is a walking stereotype, got it 😑 at least we have a bi character so at least we got some representation and diversity?🤷🏻‍♀️

I absolutely adore the way Latika speaks - just her voice and accent and cadence, it's so cute 😍 I just wanna listen to her forever 😂

"she's a lot meaner when you get to know her" well I hope so 😂 but also, I might be biased bc, like I mentioned, I saw this actress for the first time in zombies, but she has such a sweet disney energy, I just can't see her as Mary sns 😂😂

God, please, can Latika talk all the time, because seriously, I am in love with her voice and the way she speaks 😍 and she's so pretty 😍 I'm not even done with the first episode and I already fell in love with another fictional character 😂😂😂 what is wrong with me

oh so we're already finding out about Maggie, okay - and Mary wants out! I mean, we all knew that, but it's still interesting to see - and I loved that conversation tbh (also, "my mom and dad put a knife in my hand before I was able to carry one. I didn't sign up for any of this" 👀 so familiar lol)

they seem to know quite a lot about different kinds of creatures without having to consult any books huh

the pacing is kinda weird, on one hand everything's happening very fucking quickly, but then it also feels longish idk 😂

"saving people, hunting things" I almost teared up lol and added out loud: the family business 😂😂

I really like John's actor (don't know names yet sns) he's good - and cute too 👀 -😂😂 we all know what John is going to be later on, but I'm enjoying his character atm 💁🏻‍♀️

loving the premise, the big bad seems interesting, I think I'm genuinely invested 😂

oh wow I almost forgot Dean's narrating 😂😂

DEAN!!! MY LOVE 😍❤️❤️ and Baby!!! "I'll keep picking the music" I genuinely teared up 😭❤️ I miss him so much, I think I need to finally rewatch supernatural (maybe once this season ends lol)

not the last scene being the most exciting thing in the episode 😂 I fucking squealed when I saw Dean and Baby 😂😂😂

so, overall thoughts:

I liked it 😂 like, I genuinely enjoyed it

the vibe was great, it felt different than spn but also familiar, and I liked that

there was a loooot of cheesiness, some lines were were so cringe, but in a good way, and I enjoyed them (at least most lol)

I like the characters - John was great, it took less time than I expected to get used to him as John, and I like him right now - I'm still confused about him knowing about hunting already and clearly liking Mary already but we'll see how they approach this haha

I LOVE Latika as I already mentioned, and I just want to see much more of her, she seems awesome 😍😂

Carlos was kinda whatever for now, everything he said was a bit too over the top and cringe, and he's kinda a stereotype, but he seems fun, and I want to get to know him more before I judge haha

when it comes to Mary... her personality is great and I normally would like her, she's my type of character - but, and I'm gonna repeat this once again: I do not like Mary's actress, she's just not it, maybe it's gonna take me a while to get used to her, for now I just don't see it, I hope she'll grow on me

but even tho Mary's actress is not great, they won me over with Latika, whoever plays her (gotta look her up) is the star for me and I will keep watching for sure 😂😂

and again, I'm hung up on canon, and I can't help but compare the story of John and Mary we saw with this - obviously it's different - or just more - as Dean said at the beginning, but I just hope the major things won't change, because while I can still enjoy it either way, I can get nitpicky lol

so, it wasn't amazing, but I enjoyed it and had fun watching it, and I'm gonna keep watching (if only for Latika lol)

[akane171]

😂👍🏻

Hmm, maybe, I still think the Tumblr Secretary is just annoyed she has to work more🙈😉

Lol, that's so mini🤣🤣

Ah well...😅 Sucks to have your window?😉😂

...why would you frighten all those poor animals in the forest like that??😅😰

Yeah, they are messy😂 And again, no murdered kangaroos!😖

Ohhh, pancakes🤤🤤🤤 That's just as great!😍 Haha, Yess, Karamellllll💃🏻💃🏻

😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Haha, okay, well, I get your frustration tho😅🙈 

Pretty sure anyone who has ever even slightly informed themselves about psychology/mental health/dealing with emotions knows putting it in boxes is not a recommended method😅🙈 But yes, from what I've seen and heard the writers really messed up any redemption she could have had 🙈🙈

All's good, sometimes we just need to rant😉😁🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah... It's just really messed up what became of the show😰😖

Oh god, Lilian and Rhea competing? Ring the alarms, we need to get the poor students, teachers and janitors outta there so they won't be stuck in the crossfire😰😅🙈 But looool, imagine the embarassment Mon must perpetually feel about that🙈😅 (Ya know, "Meeting the parents" would be a very interesting scene in this AU since Rhea being on the comittee probably means she has at least seen Kara before?🤔 Ohhh, is Alura on the comittee, too? Those three together might seriously be hell on Earth 😅)

...Point taken, that WOULD be something one would rather never think of about their sibling...😅🙈🤢🤮

Haha, okay, I'll try, but no promises cause I'm really bad at NOT apologizing for all kinds of stuff😅🙈

PS: Ohh, congraaaatss💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻😁😊

😂😂 Thanks! You too!😊 

XXX

Or work LESS.

WORKS FOR ME. LESS NEIGHBOURS THE BETTER.

Har har ==' on the other hand i have a nice view of birds sitting on the balcony and doing their... birdy things.

Why not? They can barkin the middle of the night, so I can do it too. It's called EQUALITY, OK?

Sure, sure.

Is there anything better than karamel and pancakes, seriously. Not only she cooked for him (did she ever cook for anyone else?), he has learnt how to cook for her and it was the sweetest thing ever.

i don't get it, friend, I don't get it, how they had in their hands one of the best and most amazing on screen chemistry and they just fucked it up for nothing. UGH

Thye just kept licking her ass and ignoring all the toxic things she had done, because let's be true, if they had wanted to redempted her in a real way, they would have to put her in jail, kill as a hero on spent 90% of the season on fixing her. They have spent so much time on her ass and still managed to create more problems. Spelndid, splendid job :/

Not sure how to put the Unholy Trinity of mothers to the fic, but damn, putting Lillian, Rhea and Alura into some crazy story sounds like something I could write.

But answering your question, yeah, Rhea would know Kara. Not sure if she would like her or not. On the other hand, a story when Kara and Rhea absolutely adore each other and Mon-El is annoyed beyond imagination sounds good xD Add to this Mon and Alura being besties xD

*EVIL LAUGH*

YAY?

PS Thanks, I'm so happy TT

[moonyslove78]

@liz-allyn this chapter was just..... wow! 😍

So now that I've had time to reflect some more and basically reread the entire chapter over again three times because well, I can't get enough of these two... I think I'm finally ready to unpack my thoughts. So here'goes...

Okay, so the beginning of this chapter was probably one of my favorite scenes with Felicia. (Tied with the next scene with her in it because she's a fucking baddy and I love her so much) The sense of concern and sympathy she has for Honey here is beautiful. It shows that there's definitely two sides to this beautiful vixen. And I want a hug from Felicia cause I feel like she absolutely does give good hugs.

I was renewed with a bit of hope when less than 2 days after he left to give her her space, she was already checking his bedroom because I feel like deep down, she wanted him to be there. Mind you, I'm glad he wasn't just yet... because I do believe the sequence of events that occurred following was necessary for her to properly heal those wounds that were lingering. Physically and mentally. But regardless, girl missed him... I know it deep down.

Her day spent with Rex alone was beautiful. And the fact that she just was walking around with him on her shoulder... like I can just picture it happening and I'm loving the bonding time. He really is the star of the show. 💕😁

Though I was so happy to read the little snippet that stated he made the guards leave and stopped the cameras from rolling in every room she entered, I can't lie, I had a deep anxiety that that was going to be an issue somehow. Like she was going to be hurt or something and he wouldn't know because he didn't have eyes and ears everywhere. I was definitely pleasantly surprised when that didn't happen and graciously thank you for not sending me into a full on panic there.

The fact that she went to bed after about 2 days without him being there and all she could think about was that he wasn't coming back tonight or that he was probably fucking someone else made me instantly realize that though she kept trying to convince herself that it was "Probably best." She was obviously not okay with it. And this poor girl laying there in pain to ground herself... my god, especially right now, I can feel that in my soul. Mine wasn't my ribs per say but just everything hurting but I can definitely sympathize with even just for a moment wanting to feel the pain just to know you're here and alive... The sad reality of it makes it all too real. 💔

MILES!!! Honey's reaction to seeing him at the door was my reaction...poor Rex though! 😂❤️

First off, this beautiful boy is a precious angel and we need to protect him at all costs...which I can tell by Peter's confession later in the chapter that that's what he's trying to do. Which makes me love that man even more.

His confession of what happened when he was younger and how Peter saved him and helped mold him into the person he is today, was just 😍😍😍 !!! And I hope that pretty girl he ran into is an angel too and they both live happily ever after because it's what this boy deserves!

Him bringing up that Peter is going to make a good dad one day and then Honey basically fanaticizing about it while remembering all the times he was amazing with Bella and Miles... ugh! My damn heart!

And then her finding out about who actually hid Bella for Peter... this is where I got totally emotional and lost my cool.

The Mario Kart part was the most heartwarming and adorable thing I've ever seen written. That boy made her day... and I kinda hope that Peter had a little bit to do with that. But if not, I don't care because I'm still deeply in love with this scene.

And EDDIE!!!! Fuck, I missed him! And the fact that when she asked him if Peter sent him to spy on her and he told her no, her heart sank... Girl, yes... I know! 😭😭 But then when he goes "But it would be nice to know what you want me to tell him when he inevitably asks about you..." I was screaming because I knew inside somewhere she was happy to know he'd most definitely ask about her. And then to give her a phone... with the spider sticker... in case of emergencies...🥺❤️

And apparently right in the nick of time, because that scene with Honey meeting George Stacy... I wanted to throw HIM off the fucking Brooklyn Bridge at the end of this encounter. Somehow, I knew one of Gwen's family members was going to be an issue. And what do ya know?! It's this jack-off. Literally fuck him for being such a distasteful prick and using his daughter's untimely tragic death as a means to make Peter look bad! I have a feeling him and John are in this together somehow or another. But we'll leave that for the end of my review.

Right now, I wanna talk about what a fucking badass Felicia is and I want... No... I need her as my best friend! I was soo fucking happy that she was there to at least tell Honey he's a lying bastard.

Now, for my absolute favorite scene of this chapter... and maybe this series yet... Like, @liz-allyn you made my Peter/Honey shipper heart so fucking happy... don't get me wrong, I was bawling the entire way through, but ugh!! I fucking love these two so damn much...

The nightmare had me so fucking scared... I was on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading that part. Something said it was just a nightmare because why would they remove Bella from "protection" if she was safe where she was? But I was still like, NO! NOT MILES!!! DON'T YOU DO THAT!!

Then when she woke up and was in Peter's arms... I had to stop myself from getting hopeful for just a moment in case she was just imagining it. And then when I realized she wasn't... OMG my heart was beating so hard! The way he comforted and soothed her! 😭

Honey saying that this was all her fault and him saying none of it was... and then him nervously, and very adorably might I add, tried to explain why he was there to comfort her in the first place...😍

But then her admission that she didn't feel worthy of his love and protection and her fear was that he'd realize she's not a good person one day and just toss her away... my heart was ripped out of my chest. Her need for him to just hold her, be there with her... in more ways then one... and that kiss! It was heart wrenching and beautiful. All wrapped into one!

And though I keep unequivocally rooting for a love making scene between these two... like I need it to survive... I am glad he was respectful enough to stop her and admit to her that he couldn't do it because the moment she pushes him away it's going to break him, but he has nothing left to break... 🥺🥺🥺

Her begging him to just hold her then... and them finally sleeping peacefully... together... I didn't think I could love these two more.

...Until they woke up together and the joy that you could feel coming from the two of them to just have each other in that moment. I had tingles! It literally gave me ALL the feels!

The emotions when she told him about George and how she wanted to give him the chance to tell her what happened to Gwen! I was like FINALLY!!

And his admission that he couldn't risk losing the woman he loves twice and her being like "But I'm right here, Peter." And his admission that he felt like he already destroyed her, because he saw the rage in her when they were fighting on the street night... but her reply wasn't of anger but of fear. She just wanted to take their loved ones and runway to the mountains again and just hide! 😭❤️

Now mind you, him straight up telling her EVERYTHING I was like "NO! Wait! Stop, Peter!" Because my mind instantly went to John has done wired that whole penthouse. And I feel like Honey's mind went there too, which is why she immediately thought PETER! RUN! after he said the only thing that can hurt him is her. Which...fuck, that killed me too! Then I kinda thought, well maybe he had a feed to the cameras that Peter had hooked up to watch Honey and maybe since they were off, there wasn't a worry of him hearing Peter's confessions.

So I tried to calm my mind at that point and just relax and enjoy the absolute beautiful fluff that ensued once she asked if he had been with anyone since he left...

I could feel her resolve and hesitation slipping away with every beautiful word he admitted to her. By the time he ended with "How could I look at anyone else?" and "There is no tomorrow for me if you're not in it." My heart had melted into a giant puddle and I wasn't breathing normally when she told him she was in love with him.

And his reply to her! OMG! 😍😍

But then poor Honey realizing she needed to be truthful with Peter and fearing she'll lose him when she does. My emotions were just as high as hers!

And then the phone call. Him PROMISING he'd be done in less than an hour than he was all hers and they could go/do anywhere/anything she wanted. The forehead kiss! 😭🥲

But I just don’t know what to say about that cliffhanger @liz-allyn! 😳😮‍💨

FUCKING CUNT… I mean John… or Captain Steve Rogers! I would literally murder this low life abuser if I didn’t already expect you to have a proper way of ending his life. Just please make it agonizing for him! Honey and Peter deserve the retribution! Especially knowing this dickhead is playing with Peter’s emotions is a much different way!

He looked at him with a FOND expression and called this bastard a friend!

I don’t like thinking that this is gonna hurt Peter even more now knowing that this so called “friend” is nothing but a … ugh! I have soooo many choice words I could think to call him! 🤬🤬

I just really hope that she still gets her chance to tell Peter herself and I hope beyond hope that he is forgiving of her and that with her admitting it (cause I am holding onto the hope that SHE gets to tell him before it all blows up) that this shows she truly does love him and that she WANTS his love in return.

Ugh this ending gave me so much anxiety but still so much hope that it will turn around and play into their favor because fuck they’re so beautiful together! 😭🫣🥰

I know I say this at the beginning, middle and end of every chapter review but you’re so fucking amazing at writing and this chapter just proved even more so how much of an amazing writer you are! Thank you for giving us these characters to love, obsess over and have moments of absolute terror and fear of what may come of a situation.

I know that you’ll make it all worth the pain when the time comes and I’m so excited to see what happens next! I saw someone write to you recently that we don’t ever really have those tv shows anymore where we have to wait and ponder over a cliffhanger episode for the next one to come out to see what happens. But you’ve managed to make that happen in story form. ❤️

This literally could be its own published book. That’s how incredible it is!

Always sending you love and positivity & thank you for reading my incessant rambling reviews! I enjoy so much unpacking each chapter and “journaling” my thoughts and feelings on every single one! Can’t wait for the next!! ❤️

sugar and vice, pt. 17 [mob!tasm!peter x fem!reader]

summary: time for a reckoning.

words: 9.5k

chapter warning: angst. bitter feelings.. description of a shooting.

series warnings: mob-typical violence, bang bang shoot shoot, whomp. hurt/comfort. s*xu*l situations. spousal ab^se. family trauma. dr^g use. coercion. manipulation. kidnapping. gore. blood. toxic/yandere!peter (maybe, sorta), negative self talk, shameless forced proximity trope. ‘only ten one bed oops’ trope, imprisonment. slowest burn. a dash of questionable and/or morally grey intentions. extremely toxic relationships.

This version of TASM Peter is not canon. The relationships and characters here are not healthy.

Don't date a mob boss.™️

18+ You’re responsible for your own media consumption, but if you don't remember when TVs were square, you should not be here.

Back to Part 16.

Part 17

Twelve hours after she last saw Peter, she emerged from her bedroom for the first time. It was already past lunchtime, but she didn’t have much of an appetite. Wearing a comfortable athleisure set with a soft fleece half-zip pullover (with plenty of pockets), she took only a glance down the hallway at Peter’s door. The door to the primary bedroom was closed, shrouded in shadow.

“If you’re lookin’ for ��em, he’s not here,” a feminine voice called from downstairs. It was Felicia. 

Honey followed the sound and padded down the stairs to see the other woman standing next to Rex’s terrarium. With her long, silver hair flowing down her back, she leaned down and curiously watched Rex chase after a tiny swarm of crickets. Her eyes were focused with morbid curiosity, tongue poking slightly out of her lip as she studied how the lizard moved. He darted around in the blink of an eye, gobbling up the tiny insects and crushing them in his jaws. He was so much faster when he had something to hunt.

“Didn’t know you were here,” Honey said, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. “Got a meeting or something?”

“Nah, I’m on my lunch break,” she smirked. “Mafia stuff works up an appetite.” She straightened her back and let out a long sigh. “Wanna go do somethin’?”

Her brow furrowed. “What?”

“Well,” Felicia explained, “I was thinkin’ we could hang out. Just us girls. Get some lunch. Go get our nails done. Do some shopping. Stop by the hospital and snap a few x-rays?”

Honey’s shoulders slumped, her face falling flat. “Thanks, but I’m fine.”

“That’s not what I heard,” Felicia replied teasingly. “I heard you almost took a flaming bumper to the face. Pretty close call. Then again, I’ve had worse dates, though—”

“What did Peter tell you?” Honey asked sharply, her lips pressed together.

Felicia furrowed her brows. “All he told me was that you should probably see a doctor,” she frowned, disappointed at the hostility. “Nothin’ else.”

Honey rolled her eyes. “You ever get tired of doing what he tells you to do?”

Felicia blinked her long plush lashes several times, then replied calmly. “I’m not here because he told me to be. I’m here because I thought you needed a friend.” Honey swallowed hard, glancing away toward the bright windows and letting the light burn her eyes. “But if that’s not something you need right now, I get that too. Just say so.”

She sighed, and when she faced Felicia again, her eyes were red-rimmed. A lump settled in her throat, and her voice was a weak murmur. “It’s not the pain that bothers me. It’s the fear.” 

She bit down on her jaw to steady it, attempting to ward off tears with her loathing. She looked over at Felicia to see the woman watching her patiently, brows pinched together with concern. 

“For a second there, I thought I was gonna die,” she explained grimly. “I saw the flash... and I felt the heat— and I-I thought I was already dead.” Her eyes misted over, and she brought the back of her hands up to rub them angrily. She sniffed. “I was going to die and couldn’t do anything about it. I’d rather break every bone in my body than feel that again. I’d rather die, th-than feel...”

She couldn’t finish the sentence, biting down on her tongue. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. She flung out a million curse words in her brain, admonishing herself for crying in front of Felicia. Self-loathing bubbled up in her chest. A cruel, bitter chuckle escaped her throat as she reminisced over her suggestion to ‘embrace her power.’ It was a joke to think she had anything of the sort.

“Helpless,” Felicia supplied solemnly. 

Honey glanced up at her. Blinking with surprise, she observed how the other woman held herself. Arms crossed tight in front of her chest. Whatever difficulty Honey had with eye contact, Felicia had it worse. The taller woman pressed her lips together, grimacing.

When the two women finally met each other’s eyes, Honey was perplexed. It wasn’t pity on Felicia’s face—not like she’d feared. Instead, there was a painful solidarity between them. 

As Honey opened her mouth to speak, Felicia strode up to her, arms extended. Then, too quickly and perhaps too awkwardly, the taller woman hunched down and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Honey gasped at the action. She was hugging her. Honey wasn’t tall enough to place her chin on Felicia’s shoulder. Instead, she leaned into the hug, resting her chin against her clavicle. 

Awkward as it was, it was a very pleasant hug. The smaller woman returned it as best she could, despite the throbbing ache in her side. At that moment, she could look past that pain and allow herself to feel the embrace. 

Felicia gave good hugs, she decided.

Tears welled up in Honey’s eyes, and she allowed herself to feel those, too.

Thirty-six hours after she last saw Peter, she curiously poked her head into the empty primary bedroom to see it untouched. Sheets were pristine and smoother than glass. His toothbrush and toiletries were missing from the bathroom.

Peter had granted her wish. Both of them—it appeared, including the request she made before their shoot-out at the arcade. She wanted space, and now she had it. 

Not only had Peter not made an appearance, but every faceless guard had strangely vacated the penthouse. It was quiet in the morning haze. Peaceful.

She spent the day alone with Rex on her shoulder. They found plenty of things to do. After all, they were in a million-dollar home. They had endless hours of TV to watch. They had access to a full home gym (which she hadn’t bothered to enter until now and wasn’t going to while icing a hairline-fractured rib, no matter what Rex said about accountability). She had a library of beloved novels to read, a heated infinity pool on the roof, and a $5,000 coffee maker. 

What more could she possibly need?

Thirty-seven hours after Peter, she noticed no more lights coming from the camera in her bedroom. Or in the hall. Or in the primary bedroom, or the great hall, or the terrace entrance, or the kitchen, or anywhere else she looked. 

Thirty-eight hours after Peter.

Thirty-nine hours after Peter.

Forty hours after Peter.

Forty-six hours after Peter, she tucked herself into the covers of her own bed. She was exhausted, and the doctor-prescribed 4-6 hour pain medication had worn off. 

She embraced the pain like it was her child. It was grounding and balanced the self-righteous anger that burned in her chest. 

Peter wasn’t coming back tonight. It’s probably best, she thought. 

He’s probably fucking someone else, she thought.

Probably best.

The third day without Peter brought a pleasant surprise. Hearing a knock at the front door, she rushed into the foyer with Rex on her shoulder. The knock itself was odd since no one ever knocked. No one asked for her permission to enter. The place wasn’t ‘hers’ to grant people entry to. Or was it?

Curiously, she pulled the door open, and her heart filled with joy. “Miles!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around the teen. Rex skittered around almost up on her head, displeased with the lack of personal space.

“Hey,” he chuckled, surprised as he returned the embrace, “whassup? I mean, I know I’m a sight for sore eyes, but—”

Grinning wide, she pulled back. “Hell yeah, you are! I’ve missed you so much! How are you? What are you doing here? What have you been up to?”

“Whoooaa,” he replied, hands outstretched. “We’ll get to all that later. First, can I come in?”

Honey flexed a brow. “Can you—you’re asking me?”

“I was asking Rex, but he doesn’t have thumbs.”

She blinked, stunned. “Ye-yeah, sure. Come in!”

“Cool! Alright, second thing—I’m hungry.”

Honey and Miles sat together on the floor in the TV room with empty boxes of Filipino takeout around them. Miles took the last lumpia roll after Honey insisted that she was stuffed. She had yet to learn where the skinny kid was putting all the food.

They spent several hours catching up on the latest teenage drama. Miles did most of the talking. He filled her ears with everything from his college applications, an opportunity he received to paint a mural at a local Boys and Girls Club, to the pretty girl he ran into (literally) while leaving a bodega. She was amused and engaged—and overall honored that he would share his stories with her and allow her to be a sounding board. She lamented not being able to do the same with her sisters.

On her part, Honey didn’t have much to say about her recent experiences, nor did she really want to. However, a question kept prickling the back of her mind.

“So. Um.” She cleared her throat, wiping her hands with a napkin as the hour grew late. “Have you, um, talked to Peter lately?”

Miles pressed his lips together, glancing at her briefly before his eyes fell to the ground. “Nah. Not directly.” Several moments of silence passed. “Haven’t seen ‘em since—” He bit his tongue. “For a while.”

She hummed in acknowledgment. “Probably a good idea,” she said. 

Another pause. Miles watched her curiously. “I miss him.”

A bitter laugh she couldn’t contain burst from her lips. “I can’t imagine why.”

He raised a brow. “He’s not a bad person.”

She turned towards him accusingly. “How can you say that? You know what he is.” She connected the memory of Miles storming out of the penthouse after accusing him of being ‘on something,’ and the horrifying picture of Peter sticking a needle in his arm and becoming—something else. “You’ve seen what he’s done.” 

“I have,” Miles nodded knowingly, although his tone didn’t suggest that he agreed with her. He shifted his position and gazed down at his shoes, losing himself in thought. “I’m worried about him, y’know.”

Honey rolled her eyes. “Miles. Seriously. You need to worry about yourself.” She connected with his eyes, imploring. “Peter is dangerous. The life he lives is dangerous. You need to stay as far away from him as you can.”

Miles fixed his gaze on her, studying her reaction. “I’ve known Peter since I was a kid.”

“You still are a kid—”

“I mean it,” he declared. Honey observed the resolve in his expression and silenced herself, allowing him to speak without interruption. “I’ve seen him when things are bad, yeah. But I’ve also seen him at his best. There’s good and bad in him. In everybody.”

Sighing, Honey listlessly nodded. “Two wolves. I know. I know.”

Another long silence filled the air, prompting her to look over at him. There was a darkened expression in his eyes, mouth in a tight line, as he gazed at the wall.

“Did I tell you I almost went to jail?” he asked. A crease formed between her eyebrows. She shook her head in confusion. “Yeah,” he added, nodding sadly. A dark cloud rested over him. “It was, um—It was a few years ago. Not long after my mom got hurt.” He crossed his arms tightly. “It was when we moved from Brooklyn. Things sucked that first year. I was in a school I didn’t like. Didn’t have any friends. My dad had to start dropping me off at the front because I didn’t want to go. It was embarrassing.”

The slightest glimmer of amusement tweaked his eye, and Honey grasped at it with a warm smile. Then, just as quickly as the light appeared, it went out again like a flame in the wind.

“I got into fights a lot,” Miles said without pride. “I was angry, y’know? A lot.”

With solemn eyes, she bit her lip, nodding. Violence was still somewhat new to her, at least from the perpetrating side. Anger she knew intimately.

“Everyone tried to talk to me about it. My counselors at school told my dad that I needed to see a therapist. But how was I supposed to talk to anybody? I couldn’t even tell them who I was, or what happened—”

His voice clipped. He swallowed hard. Her brows furrowed with concern as she watched tears well in his eyes. 

“This one day, I don’t know. I lost it. I was walking home from school, and this kid from my class saw me. He was older than me, like 17 or something. This dude... sucked. Just not cool. Always messin’ with me. But on this day, I-I guess I wasn’t havin’ none of it. And I hit him. He went down, just one hit.” A smirk formed on his face. “It felt kinda good to shut him up.”

His half-smile faded, eyes darkening. “And then I hit him again. He was on the ground, and I-I just couldn’t stop.” 

His voice was wracked with shame. Honey reached out and grabbed his hand, wrapping her fingers tightly around his.

“Next thing I know, I feel hands pulling me off,” he swallowed dryly. “I’m tryin’ to fight all of ‘em. I don’t know, I guess I thought— Like, I was back there? Where they took me.” 

Tears welled in her eyes, as she sadly nodded with understanding.

“I kept fighting. Everyone. I wanted to hurt everyone—”

“Miles,” she said, heart aching. “None of that was your fault. You were probably having a flashback, you weren’t yourself—”

“Let me finish.” 

She silenced herself, stowing her pity.

“Pete was the one that stopped me. He stopped me. He hugged me. Told me to go home. So I did what he said. When the cops came, they weren’t lookin’ for me. They were looking for him. He told them that he was the one who beat up that kid. Said he was a punk that needed a lesson.” 

She sat motionlessly, stewing over the information. Miles looked up at her. “He took the fall for me. I asked him why. He saved my life, he got my family outta New York. Why do more than that? He said he believed in me. He saw what I did and believed I could be better than that. But if I had a record, no one was going to see past that.” His voice sounded tenser, stretched thin with emotion. “He saw me at my worst, and still—he tried to protect me. All he’s ever done since he got me outta that warehouse is try to protect me. Protect the people he cares about.”

Honey glanced away, her brows furrowed. Then, gently, she replied, “I understand why you feel that way, Miles. But he’s not just doing all this to protect us. He’s not keeping us safe.”

“Nah,” Miles nodded, shrugging with a half-smile. “Pete does what he does because he’s crazy. He’s messed up. Seriously.” She smirked back for a moment, the gesture failing to reach her eyes. “But I love ‘em, too. He’s family. That’s what families are for.”

Her heart cracked at his admission. She felt an overwhelming sense of pity for the teen. He was so pure. So naive. 

Carefully choosing her words, she gently replied, “Miles, I’m not sure you fully realize what Peter’s capable of.”

He nodded, then said, “I am, though. He saved my life. That’s what he’s capable of.” He added thoughtfully. “That’s the Peter Parker I believe in. The kinda guy that’s gonna make a good dad someday.” 

She observed him quietly, biting her tongue. The image of Peter holding a baby branded itself into her brain. She pictured him taking a hike near the mountain retreat with a small child sitting on his shoulders. 

Was Peter a boy dad or a girl dad? 

He was great with Miles in the moments that she saw them together. Peter had a knack for teaching. He gushed with enthusiasm when he’d explain a concept to Miles, whether nuclear fusion or chemical bonds. He made it sound interesting—even to her.

She could imagine Peter taking his boy by the hand and guiding him through the woods. Through adolescence. Struggling with the need to show them the world and all of its wonder and simultaneously wanting to shield him from it.

Then Honey remembered how Bella clung to Peter at her mom’s apartment. The child tugged on his pant leg, and he’d crouch down to meet her eyes. He didn’t patronize her when he spoke to her. He gave her his undivided attention, and Bella lit up inside to have it.

The memory of Bella pierced her heart, leaving a pang in her chest. “I don’t know about that,” Honey replied to Miles, her tone darker. “This is the same guy who has my niece hidden in a bunker somewhere.”

When she glanced over, Miles stared at her like she’d grown an extra arm. “What are you talking about?”

She sighed, eyes misty. “My niece, Bella. I miss her so much. Peter has her hidden somewhere, and he won’t tell me where.” Her brows furrowed in pain. “She’s just a baby.”

Miles blinked at her. Several times. “It’s not safe to know.”

She groaned with frustration. “Yeah, so I’ve heard.”

“No, you don’t get it. Peter can’t tell you where she is because he doesn’t know. No one does. That’s the whole point.”

Her head snapped towards him, eyes wide. “What?”

He shifted his body around, turning his shoulders towards her. “Only one person knows where your family is, and they’re not talking.”

She gazed at him, perplexed. 

“They’re not gonna say anything.” He wore a knowing look. She stared at him, her mind spinning. When she opened her mouth to speak, Miles raised his hand, silencing her. “That’s enough heavy stuff for one night. Let’s get back to the game.”

With that, he turned towards the OLED panel in the room and grabbed one of the two Nintendo controllers next to them. Waking up the Switch, he navigated to a new screen, pulling up a character selection.

“I got Bowser this time. You wanna be Yoshi again?”

Honey stared at him, deeply confused. Miles turned to her, picking up the controller and putting it in her hands when she didn’t reply. “C’mon, we gotta get started. My neighbor’s gonna play us online.” He poked her in the arm to get her attention, then nudged his head towards the Mario Kart selection screen. 

Confused, she glanced over at the characters. There was a Third Player.

“Cat Peach,” Honey said, staring at the Third Player’s character selection. “Bella loves Princess Peach.” When she looked back at Miles, he was a brick wall. Complete silence. Face neutral. Staring straight ahead at the TV screen, waiting for Honey to pick.

She curled her brow upwards, glancing at Miles, then back to the Third Player. Tears welled in her eyes as she observed the avatar on the screen. Her niece’s avatar. Her niece. Miles’ neighbor. Miles—mostly likely with his father’s help—had hid Bella and the rest of her family.

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she turned back to Miles, her jaw agape. He avoided looking straight at her, taking a sip of his third Mountain Dew. “C’mon now. Some of us have an early bedtime.”

One week after she last saw Peter, another surprise guest appeared. Because Felicia had been by every day, that’s who she expected to find at the door. Honey gasped with delight when she saw who it really was.

With twinkling eyes and hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie, Eddie smiled back. “If it isn’t Nancy Reagan.” 

They spent the next half-hour catching up. Honey profusely apologized—unnecessarily—to him for being the cause of another fallout. He rejected her apology—repeatedly— but accepted her offering of two-thirds of a strawberry cheesecake. 

Honey eventually got around to addressing the splinter under her skin. 

“So. Did Peter send you here to spy on me?” she asked, unsure if she wanted the answer.

“Nope.” He shook his head. She couldn’t help the strange way her heart sank at his answer. Eddie peered at her suspiciously. “But it would be nice to know what you want me to tell ‘em when he inevitably asks about you.”

She pressed her lips together, eyes suddenly interested in the granite of the countertop. She wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say. She wasn’t even sure of what she wanted.

After an hour passed, Eddie explained that he was sent to the penthouse for a reason. To deliver a package.

Her eyes bulged, heart tripping, as he handed her a smartphone. The only thing that kept her from fainting was that the device was much smaller than the one she was hiding in her pocket. A model at least ten years old. It had a simple case with one of those artist-drawing stickers. A red spider. She looked up at him, eyes full of confusion.

“For emergencies,” Eddie said, shoving his hands back in his pockets. “You’re a big girl. I’m sure you’ll be fine. But just in case.”

Three weeks after she last saw Peter, she reached for the spider phone for the first time.

It was shortly after lunchtime at a chic, New American restaurant off of West 51st, adorned with a crystal chandelier, neon lights, and lush botanicals. Honey and Felicia were seated at the bar finishing up lunch (and a bottle of champagne) when the silver-haired woman excused herself to the restroom. 

Being left alone was no longer strange. In the past three weeks, Honey had experienced more freedom than she had in the last four months of living with Peter Parker. She was permitted to travel wherever she pleased. Just as long as she had the emergency phone. And guards to scope the area ahead of time and transport her. And Felicia or Miles as an escort. It didn’t feel like she was being escorted. After three weeks of lonely days in the penthouse, she longed for companionship. 

After the incident at the arcade, she tried to stay vigilant when left alone. But when she looked up to see Felicia return to the bar, a strange man sat on her stool instead. 

She’d never seen him before. He was at least sixty, but the expression lined in deep trenches on his long face made him appear centuries older. The scent of stale cigarettes enveloped him. With graying, auburn-sand hair and intense eyes that seemed to radiate disappointment, he fixed a hard gaze on her.

“I know who you are,” he quietly declared in a bitter tone.

Every muscle in her body froze, and she fought the urge to scream for help. Instead, she kept one hand on the bar near her nearly-empty plate, resting over her steak knife.

He glanced down at her hands, unimpressed, and he gave her a sardonic smirk. “I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.” 

She remained nothing more than a statue, lips pressed tightly together.

“More importantly, I know who you’ve been with.”

She swallowed hard. Eyes wide, she flicked them cautiously toward the corridor Felicia had disappeared through as violent images filled her mind. The food began to creep up her esophagus. 

She shook her head. “I-I don’t know what you—”

“Don’t lie,” he sneered, light as a feather, while his eyes screamed in a fury. “I know you’re Peter Parker’s new girl.”

Her heart thrummed in her throat. She opened her mouth.

“If you make a scene, I’ll throw Miss Hardy into a jail cell so deep under this city she’ll be in New Amsterdam,” he glowered. Honey snapped her mouth shut while piercing sirens rang out in her head. “Did I mention I’m a cop?” he added with a cruel casualness. 

She felt dizzy, her heart sinking in her chest. Her brain ping-ponged between John Walker, and Wilson Fisk, and whoever planted the car bomb, and the corrupt officers that cut down Peter’s aunt and uncle in a spray of bullets. 

A long list of enemies. And by the look in this man’s eye, he wanted to be at the very top.

“My name is George Stacy,” he muttered, eyes dark. “Peter Parker killed my daughter.” 

Something inside her shattered as she connected the distraught rage emanating from the man seated next to her to the angelic face in Peter’s photo box. 

“Did he tell you about her? Did he tell you about Gwen?” His voice made a sound like glass breaking as he said her name. Grief and anger swirled in the blue depths of his eyes. A deep crease formed between Honey’s brows. 

“Excuse me.” Felicia’s biting tone caught their attention. “You’re in my seat.” They looked over to see the silver-haired woman glaring daggers at the older man, fearless in her stance. Honey had never felt so envious of her courage in her life.

George fixed her with a disgusted sneer. “Well, well. If it isn’t the Black Cat. Parker’s still your favorite place to sharpen your claws, isn’t he?”

Felicia didn’t flinch, crossing her arms. “Aww, Georgie. Didn’t know we were already at pet names. Get out of my chair.”

Anxiously, Honey glanced back and forth between the two heavyweights. George stared up at her through narrow eyes. “You’re lucky I don’t throw cuffs on you right here,” he said.

Felicia rolled her eyes. “Kinky. Got probable cause?”

“You’re a thief who gets on her knees for a murderer.” He side-eyed Honey. “You both are.”

“I don’t really like your accusations, Georgie,” Felicia snarked. “‘Specially the criminal kind. Got proof?”

George’s jaw clenched. His eyes were black with rage.

“Didn’t think so,” Felicia answered, then turned to Honey. “How ‘bout we get outta here? I’m sure Georgie here can settle our tab.”

The man suddenly came to a stand, his full height bringing him to eye level with her. “You disrespectful little smartass.” He leaned in close, pouring venom into her ear. “You’re trash. Standing behind a man who pushed his wife off the Brooklyn Bridge. She was going to leave him! And he killed her for it.” 

Wild-eyed, George turned to face Honey. “Y’know what she looked like when they pulled her body from the river?” His eyes welled with tears as he ground his teeth together. “Y’know what she looked like when I had to identify her? I couldn’t do it! The fall crushed every bone in her face!”

“That’s enough,” Felicia declared with a cold tone. “We’re leaving.” 

She took Honey by the shoulder, guiding her from the bar. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks once they stepped out into the frosty air.

“You’re protecting a monster!” George shouted after them, his voice, heart, and soul obliterated. 

Honey was quiet in the back of the car as they sped home. 

“Was he telling the truth?” Honey asked with a mouse-like whimper, unsure if she wanted the answer. Unsure if she wanted Felicia to lie.

The woman’s gaze darted over, appearing shocked even behind the giant, black lenses of her Givenchy sunglasses. “Are you kiddin’ me?” Felicia snapped with indignation. “Of course not!” The woman sounded offended at the accusation.

Honey stared at her in silence, trying to decide which version of the truth she wanted to believe.

Twenty-three days after Peter, Honey sat across from Miles at a bistro table in front of a streetside cafe. To her right sat Bella—wearing a princess dress. Delightful as she sketched out a cat on a piece of paper. Black crayon was smeared everywhere. Miles leaned over, giving her pointers on her cat drawing, showing her his sketch of a spider.

Honey wanted to say something. She really did. But couldn’t find the words. 

She couldn’t speak. 

Her eyes filled with terror as she recognized the tall figure stalking towards the table, wielding a shotgun in his hands. 

She couldn’t scream. 

John walked up to the table, pointed the shotgun at Miles’ chest, and fired.

When she awoke, she was screaming. Her chest landed hard against a warm, firm body. Her mouth was open and dry, and her eyes were clouded with nightfall, and her throat was raw, her skin sweaty, and her face was wet with tears. 

“It’s okay! You’re okay! You’re okay. It was a dream. I gotcha.”

She shuddered with relief, her heart still racing with terror. She gasped in short breaths, grounded only by the warmth on her chest, the sturdy oak branches around her body, and the soothing hum of Peter Parker’s voice.

“Shh, s’okay,” he cooed at her.

Honey buried her face in Peter’s neck, full-body sobs overtaking her. She squeezed his shoulders tight, digging her fingers into the fibers of his shirt. The scent of cinnamon and cedar filled her nostrils. Like some magic spell had been cast, she felt her muscles melt, cradled in the warmth of his hold.

“It’s okay,” Peter whispered, rocking her gently. “You’re safe. You’re okay.”

Another cry ripped through her chest at the idea. “M’not,” she stuttered over hiccups. “I’m not okay. Nothing is okay...”

She felt his fingers glide down her spine, smoothing down the tank top on her back. He softly replied, his breath tickling her ear, “It was just a bad dream—”

She was incoherent, crumpling in a pile of broken ‘no’s’ and ‘I can’ts’ and ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘it's my faults.’ He chased away the shadows, his fingertips alternating between rubbing her back and running through her hair.

“‘S’not your fault, Honey,” Peter murmured, resolve in his voice. “None of this is your fault...”

Trembling with tears, she pulled away slowly. Hesitantly, Peter released his grip, handling her like an origami flower left out in the rain. 

The scruff of his beard had grown back in, and he wore a black pullover sweater that made him appear soft and gentle in a way she was unused to. She looked up at the golden-flecked, whiskey hue of his concerned gaze. Her own eyes were bloodshot and bleary. Her heart swelled and ached at the sight of him. Distressed, his eyes flitted over her face.

The spell wore off. As soon as Honey’s body heat left Peter’s hold, they both mourned the loss. He dropped his gaze to the comforter, his cheeks flushed disconcertedly. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, pulling his fingers away from her. “M’sorry, I-I wasn’t tryin’ to—I wasn’t watching you or anything.” 

His eyes darted around, hands fretting. “Of course not,” he muttered under his breath. “Who says that? Th-That’s stupid.”

He looked back at her earnestly, “I-I didn’t want—didn’t mean to intrude, I didn’t... I-I know ‘m’not supposed to be here. I just... I came by for some stuff, and... And I-I heard you scream, and I... I thought— Uh... I, um... I’ll-I’ll leave you alone now.”

Tears spilled in rivers down her cheeks. “Why are you protecting me, Peter?” she whimpered. “Can’t you see I’m not worth saving?”

He paused, eyes going wide.

“You can’t love me,” she wept. “You don’t know who I am. You don’t know what I’ve done.” She shook her head, racked with grief. “I keep trying to protect everyone, but-but I can’t—I... I’m killing them. I’m gonna get them killed.”

“What are you talking about?” Peter whispered. He squeezed his hands together, fighting the urge to cradle her face in them.

“‘M’not a good person, Peter. And I keep waiting for you to throw me away.”

He was dumbstruck into silence, shaking his head. Brows pinched together in horror.

“Don’t say anything,” she sniffed. “Please... don’t say anything. Just... just please. I need you to hold me.” He gazed at her blankly, as she closed the gap between them, pulling him into a kiss. 

Both of her arms circled his shoulders. She nudged her chest up against his. She pried open his mouth with her lips, slipping her tongue through. His breath hitched at the taste of her, his hands outstretched safely away from her body. 

She pulled her lips away with a heated smack, “Please, Peter. Please just touch me.” When she leaned in to kiss him, she felt the expanse of his broad hands on her lower back. He scooped her into his embrace, letting himself sink beneath the depths of her kiss. 

He could feel her heart beating up against his own, both of them like rabbits darting through prairie brush. She paused only briefly for air, resting her forehead against his before dragging her wet touch across his tongue. 

He could feel her everywhere. In every artery. In every cell. Drifting within his lungs. Swimming through his brain until he was dizzy. Whenever he felt himself floating, faint with desire, she snatched him tighter. Crushing their bodies against one another.

She emerged from the shell of her bedding, crawling into his lap. Threw her leg over him, pressing her heat against his belly. The sensation drew a gasp from his lips, and he seized her hips gently. He held them steady in place.

“Stop,” he breathed. He felt her go still. He squeezed his eyes closed, pulling his lips away. “We can’t.”

His words twisted a knife in her belly, her soul bleeding out. 

“I can’t,” he muttered apologetically.

She found his eyes, hers full of dismay. A punishment for her cruelty. She was afraid to ask. “Why not?”

His eyes glistened in the city lights outside of her window. He stared at her, the corners of his mouth downturned. “Because if you push me away, it’ll break me, Honey.” He swallowed heavily. “And I don’t have anything left to break.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, tears breaking through her lids. She lowered her head, grieving the innocence of when they’d first met. She’d give anything to go back to that moment. 

“Stay with me,” she whispered urgently. She met his eyes again. “Just stay here,” she said, softly begging. “Please. Just hold me.”

She nudged the tip of her nose against his. He gazed up at her with somber adoration and mourning, eyes achingly tender. 

“Just for tonight,” she pleaded. She wore a desperate expression, like she would perish if he let her go.

It hurt to look at her. It hurt to touch her, almost as much as it hurt not to touch her. Pain was a mutual friend. 

Tears shimmering at his eyelids, he nodded softly. 

Wordlessly, she gripped him tighter. As if she could physically hold on to the tiny bit of relief. She wanted to hold on for as long as she could.

They hung on to each other, curled up together beneath the darkness. She rested her cheek on his shoulder, her hand resting above his heart. Fingers outstretched, she studied the slow rise and fall of his chest. He buried his fingers in her hair, rubbing tiny circles on the nape of her neck. The sound of their hearts beating in sync soothed him, like rain pattering on a rooftop. 

Just for tonight. They slept in peace.

Her limbs felt heavy, but she was warm. She snuggled against a firm body toasting her like a furnace, as tendrils of daylight pulled her from slumber. Her eyes blinked open. Curiously, she lifted her head.

Peter dozed softly with her body nestled against his side. Her eyes softened as she gazed at the way the light danced across his freckles. She studied his image, memorizing each aspect of the moment. His hair was puffy and wild. She observed flecks of amber and gray in his chestnut beard. His lips were chapped with a plump cherry pout. And while she was mapping the lines of his face, she realized that this was the first morning she’d ever woken up next to him.

Like he could hear her thinking, his hand twitched, tightening his grip on her lower back as he stirred awake. Coffee eyes wandered quickly and found hers, lighting up with warmth. A sleepy, half-smile stretched across his features.

“You’re here,” she said dreamily, returning the smile.

“I am.” His voice was thickened by deep sleep. He watched her with fondness for several moments, before adding worriedly, “Did you not want me to be?”

Her smile dimmed for just a moment. She shook her head. “It’s nice.”

It was the truth. They gazed at each other, silent and starry-eyed and lost in a pleasant peace. He brought his hand up slowly to brush a piece of hair from her face. Her skin hummed at the brush of his fingertips. A shadow darkened her eyes. “I saw George Stacy yesterday.”

She felt his muscles tighten faintly, and his eyes fluttered shut. When he opened them, he drew a measured breath. Concern dimmed his gaze. “What’d he say?”

She pursed her lips. “He told me that you pushed Gwen off a bridge.”

A sharp pain flickered on his face like the sting of a wasp. A cold shadow fell across him, like the dark side of the Moon. “You believed him.” It wasn’t much of a question.

“I don’t want to hear it from him,” she said gently. “I want to hear it from you.”

His vision drifted. Melancholy and grief swallowed him, pulling him under a dark tide of painful memories. She felt his hands release her as he shifted to a sitting position. Her heart ached at the loss of his hold, and she hopelessly tried to seek comfort by wrapping her arms around herself.

“Gwen and I—we met in high school.” The hoarse creak of his voice startled her. He sat with slumped shoulders, leaning over a bent knee. “She was the only one that knew me, before my aunt and uncle died. She stuck with me after. Even when she saw what I was becoming.”

Bitterness accentuated his tone. Delicately, Honey sat up in her sheets, leaning enough to be able to see his gloomy profile. “She tried to save me,” he said. “But what happened, happened. I told her what I had to do. And that I am what I am. She couldn’t stop me, and I told her not to try.”

He swallowed hard. “I pushed her away, tried to break it off. But that just pissed her off more. Made her double-down. She was so damn stubborn. So she tried to help me.”

A pang contorted his features for a moment. She saw a faint tremor in his lower lip. He bit down on the flesh to still its movements. 

“Her dad, though,” he continued. “He was a cop. He already hated me, even before I was a criminal. It was only a matter of time before he found out who I really was.” He sniffed, lifting his chin with a rueful look. “I knew he’d protect her, but he could only do so much. Eventually he was going to find us out, and if he wanted to protect her, he was going to have to pit her against me.”

The last part of his sentence cut through him like a razor. He paused for a moment, wetting his lips. Shoving his voice out of his pained chest. “So when she turned 18, she asked me to marry her.” 

The sharp lines in her forehead faded at the revelation.

“She said if we were married,” he said, haunted by grief, “she couldn’t be forced to testify against me.” He gulped again, and by the look on his face he was swallowing rusty nails. “I didn’t care that it was part of a plan. It was the happiest I’d ever been since... even since before, I think.” 

He went quiet for a while, before adding grimly, “I tore her family apart. He never forgave me for that.” A dark bitterness contorted his features, the familiar echo of self-loathing returning to his voice. “And I looked that man in the eye and swore that I would protect his daughter. But I failed.” 

His eyes fell closed, and for a moment she thought his memories were tattooed on the insides of his lids. 

“She fell,” he ground out, tears welling up. The dam was in danger of breaking. “I tried to catch her in time.” The breath sucked out of his lungs. “It was a matter of inches. Milliseconds. But it wasn’t enough.”

He slowly turned to face her, eyes shimmering with tears. “You asked me who was responsible for her death. I didn’t push her. But I’m the reason she was up there to begin with.” A pained flicker of a smile ghosted across his lips—a cruel impersonation of acceptance, of resignation of his guilt. “She died because of me,” he declared. “I let the woman I love die. I can’t let that happen twice.”

Eyes misty and red, he let the statement rest, as if dictating words he wanted written on his tombstone. 

With a heavy heart, she replied, “But I’m right here, Peter. I’m not dead. Why wouldn’t you tell me the truth? Not just about Gwen, but Bella, too? Why would you make me think you knew where she was?”

Peter looked away, gazing down at his hands, pinching his lips closed. A false light returned to his tone. “My uncle used to say that one of the two keys to success was never telling everything you know.”

He didn’t follow up with anything after that. Her face slumped in disappointment.

“Bella means the world to you,” Peter explained, meeting her eyes again. “And I’d never put her life in the hands of just anyone.” He swallowed painfully. “Not even myself. I can’t be responsible for destroying someone else I love. I won’t.”

“Destroying me—you-you really thought the solution was pushing me away?” She sounded frustrated and betrayed. “That didn’t work with Gwen. Why did you think it would work with me—?

“Because I’m afraid I already have,” Peter affirmed. She fell silent as he gazed at her mournfully. “I know what rage does to people. I know what it looks like. That night, when we were fighting—I saw it in your eyes. Saw it when you looked at me. Hatred is... it’s a flesh-eating parasite. Never satisfied.” He gazed at her, eyes grim. “That’s all me, Honey. I did that to you.”

She sighed as regret seized her lungs. “Peter,” she pleaded, “let’s go back to the mountains.” His brow furrowed with confusion, as she explained more urgently. “Let’s go away. With Miles, and-and Felicia, and Bella, and everyone, and just—just hide?”

He shook his head. “What do you mean?”

“I’m scared, Peter. I’m scared that something awful is going to happen.” She felt the thick serpent crawl up from her belly again. “I’m-I—I don’t feel safe here anymore. Between the bomb, and... then George Stacy walked right up to me in broad daylight. What if that had been someone else?” His gazed at her worriedly, and she implored, “I’m... I’m afraid someone’s watching us. Watching me.”

She swallowed hard to keep the bile from spilling out of her mouth. Her skin felt clammy. Reptilian. Lying to Peter now made her physically ill.

“You’re gonna be okay, Honey,” he replied with gentle affirmation. “You and Miles, your family—I’m gonna protect you. You don’t need to worry.”

“Please, stop telling me that,” she declared firmly. “We both know it’s not true.”

He studied her silently with a frown, eyes flitting over her face. “I’m not good with flashing lights and loud noises.”

She blinked at him, brows pinched.

He met her eyes, as if continuing a confession, “Too much stimulation has always been an issue with me. Sorf of a-a weakness, I guess.”

“What does that—?” 

“The cops could tear this place apart, but they wouldn’t find anything. It’s not here. It’s in a place underground. We call it The Bunker. It’s in an abandoned subway station that nobody knows about. Roosevelt. That’s our fallback position, a strategic planning base. Weapons, cash, files on every corrupt bastard in this city. It’s all there.”

Her brain was spinning with confusion.

“Inside a bank in Queens off of Woodhaven,” he added, casual and matter-of-fact in a way that made her feel unsettled. “There’s a safe registered under the name Ezekiel Sims. Inside, there’s $63 million in cash. Unmarked bills. Untraceable, clean money. It’s my cut. Nearly fifteen years’ pension for my sins. But it’s not for me. It’s for Miles and his family. The combination to the safe is his birthdate.”

“Why are you telling me this?” she blurted, overwhelmed.

Peter stared at her, eyes soft. “Because I’m done hiding. I’m through with hiding who I am. Especially from you.” Her brows furrowed as he explained, “If you wanted to turn me in, to drain me dry, take Bella and run—you have everything you need to know. As long as you and Miles are safe. Felicia. Johnny. Everyone left alive that matters to me—all I care about is that they’re safe.” 

He swallowed hard, gazing at her solemnly. “Nobody can hurt me, Honey. No one but you. If that’s what you want.”

She felt the sting of tears brimming her eyes, her heart sinking in her chest. In under a minute, he’d given her the key to her freedom, to everything she could have ever wanted. It was also the key to his destruction. The nail in his coffin. Diametrically opposed to what she could ever want. 

Why her? 

That’s the only thing she could think about. It was a record running on repeat, slowly driving her insane. Why trust her? Why choose her? Why risk his life and legacy for her? 

Not just material things—but his family was on the line. Secrets had already been divulged. Blood had already been spilled. Why would he love her when the weight of her betrayal made her want to die?

She cast her eyes downward, unable to meet his gaze. In her mind, she wanted to scream at him to run away. She wanted to scream at him for being so blind. For foolishly choosing her, when he could have anything else. Or anyone.

“Were you with someone?” she asked, as timid and quiet as a mouse.

His eyebrows pinched together. “With someone?”

“Someone else,” she replied, a little clearer. Again, she was conflicted at whether or not she wanted the answer. “Another woman. Or man.” He was silent as she stared down at the black polish decorating her nails. “You were gone for days,” she said, idly. “I mean, n-not that I expected you to just... y’know.” She took a deep breath. “It’s okay, if you did.” 

When she looked up at him, Peter was staring back at her like she had grown an extra head. “Are you asking me if I’ve had sex with anyone since I left?”

Her eyes went wide, embarrassed by the bluntness of his question. “I mean, I’m not—” She stuttered, struggling. “No, I mean, I am. I just—”

She cleared her throat. It was like wet cement surrounded her vocal cords. “I get it,” she stated, her eyes darting from his face, to his chest, to the blanket, to the wall, and back around again. “You’ve got—your-your face is, it’s nice.” She was flailing. “And your rest of you, is, um, is—”

A heat wave traveled up her neck, making her feel faint. Her breaths were coming out short. “It’s okay,” she explained apologetically. “If you did. It makes sense. I just… you can tell me.” She met his eyes, trying to steal herself. “Please. If... if you don’t mind.”

Peter stared at her for a long time. He was quiet. Contemplative. He could have grown moss. Just when she was about to pass out from the anticipation, he shifted in his seat. His umber eyes fixed on her. “Honey. Since I met you, I haven’t looked at anyone else.”

She pressed her lips together, chewing on the inside flesh. His words were like a glowing, hot blade, slicing her open. Tears rimmed her saddened gaze. Her voice came out as a whimper. 

“You don’t have to lie.”

His brows furrowed. A dreary expression leveled him. He turned his shoulders towards her. 

“There’s not anybody else,” he softly declared. It felt like a whisper that only she could hear. “There’s not another woman. Or a man.” 

His hand came up, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Not another sunrise or sunset, no fancy car, no drug trip...” 

The warmth of his lungs ghosted over her face like a warm mist. “No cute puppy, no breathtaking waterfall, no flower, or beach or mountain—not a single moment of joy on this Earth—that compares to how you make me feel.”

Her muscles seized, eyes wide. Tears brimmed that she was unaware she could even feel. Added to that, was the rough touch of his thumb brushing at the edge of her mouth. He stared down at her lips like he could read lines of poetry written on them.

“I was in the dark,” he murmured. “After Gwen, I was asleep. Thought I was already dead. Until I saw you. Thought it was a crush. But then... I met you.” His warm gaze heated into a small smile, thawing out his features. “I watched you sing and dance and make food, and play games with Miles, and talk about animal facts, and tell stories to Rex, and apologize to the house plants when they didn’t get watered.” 

He chuckled softly, like a candle flickering on a winter night. “I listened to you talk about everything like it was—like it was a gift. Like no matter how dark it was, there was gonna be a sunrise. Like you could already see it.” 

She met his gaze as her eyes welled up. No one had ever looked at her like that.

“Bringing down Fisk was always endgame for me,” he murmured. “Didn’t ever see past it. Figured I didn’t need to.” Timidly, he leaned closer, as if sharing his biggest secret. “When you touch me, it’s like I can feel the sunrise. Like I can reach out and touch the future.”

A tear trailed down her face before he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. Her lip wobbled and she felt as if he was holding her upright. Like her life had been a perilous journey and she’d finally found rest.

“You once told me that you had all the power,” he said with a coy smirk. Embarrassment kissed her features, before he soothed it away with his hands. “That’s not the half of it,” he said. “You’re my tomorrow. You have the rest of my life in your hands.”

They gazed at each other, eyes shimmering, hearts swelling with emotions they couldn’t begin to describe. 

“How could I look at anyone else?” Peter said with a profound wonder. “You’re the first and last thing I wanna see every day. There is no tomorrow for me if you’re not in it.”

His hands were holding onto the sides of her face, but inside, she was buckling. Her walls crumbled. She searched his eyes through her own blurry tears. Desperately looking for a catch. Seeking a reason not to believe him. 

But she was right about another thing—she knew what it sounded like when he lied to her. And in every cell of her body, she knew that this was not it.

“Peter,” she breathed, with a wary tremor in her heart. It was like she was standing on shaky legs at the edge of the Earth, ready to dive into its core. “I think—” Her voice shook timidly, until she willed it to be steady. “I… I think... I’m in love with you.”

His eyes glowed, momentarily weakened by a fleeting helplessness. He closed them for a moment, as if to steady himself. “No,” he softly replied. Opened his eyes to stare at her like she was the answer to everything in the universe. “You’re not.” A gentle smile played upon his lips. “Not yet.” 

Her insides melted for him. She wanted to fall into him and be consumed by the blaze.

“It’s okay, though,” he whispered with a subtle, teasing grin. “I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it happen. To be worthy of it.”

The cheekiness of his smile triggered an even wider one from her. She breathed out a small laugh, tears falling. He gazed down with eyes that spoke louder than his words. It left no doubt in her mind.

Peter Parker loved her.

It hurt to look at. 

Her smile dimmed. “Peter.” She swallowed hard, mustering the strength to crawl across a mile of flaming coals. “I... I have to tell you something.” His light never flickered. He gazed at her, half-entranced, half-heartedly listening. “I’m... I’m not the person you—”

A phone buzzed.

Her heart seized in her chest. A full stop. It felt like the touch of death.

Peter flinched nervously, snapped out of the spell. He dropped his hands to his pockets, digging the buzzing device from his slacks. 

She sealed her eyes closed, withholding a silent scream.

Peter gazed down at the screen with a frustrated sigh, looking up at her apologetically, and put the device to his ear. “What is it,” he answered, quietly seething. As he listened to the muddled voice on the other end, Honey was dizzy with conflicting emotions. She wanted to curl up and die. 

“What do you mean he’s here? We’re supposed to meet in Brooklyn.”

That was the last straw. She needed to say it. She needed to come clean. She needed to tell Peter the truth about everything. To bare her soul and confess her sins the way he had. The only problem was that her heart was stuttering in her chest, shaking her stomach so much that she was going to vomit on her bedspread.

“Fuck,” she idly heard him mumble. “Alright. Let ‘em in. Make ‘em wait. I’ll be down in a minute.”

She was drowning in sorrow as he ended the call. Oblivious to her distress, he shoved his phone back in the pocket of his jeans. He looked back at her, disappointment twisting his face. He read the look on her face as frustration at the interruption.

“I’m... I’m sorry,” he winced. “I...” His eyes darted to her door. “I... I have to—”

He didn’t need to say it. Duty called. Her opportunity to resolve herself was slipping away. Maybe it never even existed.

He cupped her face with his hands, gazing at her tenderly. “You get cleaned up, okay? And I’m yours the rest of the day. We’ll go anywhere you want. Just gotta take care of this one thing. It’ll take me less than an hour.”

Less than an hour. 

She had less than an hour until her world crumbled. Until she revealed to the one person that ever really loved her that he was wrong about her. She was never worthy of his love.

“I promise,” he repeated with soothing tones and gentle touches. He leaned in slowly, as if requesting permission, and pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead.

She responded with something that sounded vaguely like words. He removed his hands. His touch. His warmth. Finally, he removed himself from her presence. 

Dread filled her, along with a cold fear that she’d never see it again.

She followed instructions with an empty brain. A hollow heart.

When she emerged from her room, she was clean. Her stomach was empty of its contents. The color had faded from her skin. She was an apparition, walking aimlessly among the living in the waking world.

Rex. She went down the stairs to check on Rex. Maybe he needed his terrarium cleaned. Maybe she could clean it. Maybe she could scrub the whole penthouse with a toothbrush while she waited for the sensation to come back to her fingers and toes. 

Her feet guided her closer to Rex’s tank, and she stopped suddenly. Aware that someone was blocking her path. A tall, beefy figure leaned down over the terrarium.

They turned to face her. 

Her eyes went wide. 

Her heart jumped.

Her breath seized.

John Walker fixed her with a pleasant smile—cheeks rosy, shark-blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

“So, this is what you’ve been hiding away, eh?” he grinned snarkily.

The world was spinning. The earth was shaking. She thought the whole building would come down on top of her.

“I don’t think we’ve had the chance to meet,” John said.

Her brows furrowed. She was frozen stiff, barely registering Peter as he walked up into her view. Stood shoulder-to-shoulder with John.

“No, I, uh... I was saving it for a special occasion,” Peter replied. He glanced over at John with a fond expression, then faced her. 

A rat caught in a trap.

A snake stretched between the fangs of two wolves.

Torn apart.

“This is, uh, an associate of mine,” Peter told her. “A friend, really. I'd like you to meet Steve Rogers.”

To be continued...

[back to masterlist]

a/n Thank you everyone for your patience and support! Things are going to heat up and move very fast. I appreciate your positive feedback.

[dreamwritesimagines]

ok so here goes chapter 1. buckle up people. also there might (there will be) some swearing because it’s late and it punctuates my thoughts. sorry in advance.

first of all, skittles might just be the cutest nickname ever. it’s absolutely adorable, and the story behind it is just as cute. billy russo is one big softie.

green as a choice of dress makes me automatically think about kiera knightley’s green dress in atonement and i’m in absolute awe.

how come people have the same reaction (aka being rude as fuck) when it comes to skittles’ past??? she spent longer as a rich kid than in the orphanage and people still treat her like she’s a fucking alley cat??? (looking at you jeremy. you deserved to have your hand slashed with a switch blade.)

the blood oath. that’s it. thank you for giving us soft billy as a kid. i love you so much.

now, i’m not a big fan of the fiancé, but at least people *ahem* mom *ahem* could have a little bit of respect for the fact that they are engaged and that ‘keeping your options open’ kinda goes against the concept of being engaged… just saying…

‘trash stays trash, even if you cover it with glitter’ sir, have you seen yourself in a mirror? back the fuck up and go home. you’re embarrassing yourself.

billy getting protective of skittles even when he’s literally robbing people at gunpoint is the most romantic thing i’ve read all week. fuck you bobby. rot in hell.

i love skittles so much. i will repeat this so many times. she’s the best. she’s witty, she’s funny, i wanna kiss her. ‘but you have a big gun. it’s not the size, huh?’ honey, you are being robbed at gun point and you still have the guts to make a duck size joke? an icon.

billy blaming skittles for being a drama queen then doing the same thing with the reveal. i love them, your honour. my two dumbasses, they own my heart.

i think we can all agree that killing for your significant other is >>>>>>> in terms of tropes. beautiful. a masterpiece.

big kisses, ima go read chapter 2

Oh my God loveee, I'm already squealing, I'm so excited! ❤❤❤

It made me think of Keira Knightley's dress too! That dress was gorgeous 😍❤

I think she deep down feels like she doesn't belong because of the way people treat her💔

Blood oath YES❤❤ They wanted to make sure they wouldn't be apart ❤

Billy is extremely protective of Skittles 😍😂

I think they share the same approach when it comes to people threatening them, Skittles grew up with Billy 😂❤

But the size joke was fun especially because she was ACTIVELY being held at gunpoint and still mocking him😂

I LOVE THIS DARLING! ❤❤❤

[akane171]

Huh? Yes, I'm still breathing?😅 Oh, did my message not get through?😰 I did answer you the other day🙈😅 I thought you were busy so you didn't reply, I didn't realize you apparently didn't get any message, sorry🙈🙈😰😰😖

Since that message apparently didn't get through, here again:

😂😂😂

Ah, yes, it is pretty niche, isn't it?🤔😅🙈

HAHAHA, the didn't study, passed anyway feeling is the BEST 😍😂😂

...What kinds of fics I will write?😕 Why does me wanting to make friends with demons make you worry about THAT?😂😂😅

Hmm, you think they had already figured out that it's meant to be Kara?🤔 Dunno, but LW kinda made it sound like nobody had really figured it out yet when Daxam&Krypton died🤔 But oh well, apparently we're likely to meet a survivor next arc, then we'll see😍😍😍🙈🙈🤔🤔

"Just write and see"...See how I absolutely fail, yes😅😂🙈

Dito 😂 Cursing is just fun😂😂

...Well, can't disagree with that 🙈😅 Still sad tho🙈

Aww, you really make me want to binge the books😂🙈 Definitely gotta read them when I finally have time to read again🙈😂😍

Yeah, Mon's the best... Well, I was fine with Brainy til they pulled that sheer hypocrisy in the finale...🙈😖

Yeah, Mon really was just the most relatable and "human" of them all, even including the human characters....😅

Yuuup... Kara Zor-El and Mon-El of Daxam pretty much seem to have died in the S2 finale... What was left was Kara Danvers and Mon-El of the Legion...Both apparently married to their job and forever doomed to be apart while everybody else gets a happy ending...🙈

Ohhhhh, you know, your choice of subjects is VERY amusing, I'm STILL laughing at that😂😂 But sounds like an awesome AU😂 Tho can you just imagine the terrible pick-up lines they could use on each other once they fall in love?😂 Like, imagine Mon coming up to Kara and saying "Are you Shelley? Cause you can make me (anything)" 😂😂 Ohh, I had a really good one with chemistry too but can't remember that one🙈 Alternatively, imagine Kara walking up to Mon and saying "Are you  a nucleon? Cause I can't help orbiting around you" 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Okay, I'll stop with these bad pick-up lines😂😂

Oh, absolutely, Max would still be the jackass we know, but he loves his lil bro, so gotta be protective😉 And Mon, well, ofc he's gotta be a lil shit, that's literally the job description of siblings😉😂😂 But I imagine he'd still be that precious outer space stray puppy we know and still get excited over new things (cause unlike what the show seemed to portray, you can NEVER have seen and learnt everything! Learning is a life-long process 😑) 

Haha, well, I AM thinking about putting it on my to-write list 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

Hope it treats you well, too!😊 Sorry about the confusion again, I really didn't even think the message might not have gotten through🙈

Oh, PS: Fun fact since we always tell LW to sleep more: Panic!at the Disco released a new song in which's chorus he sings "Shut up and go to bed" 😂😂😂 The universe can ridiculously funny sometimes😂😂

XXX

Nah, it's ok, i just was sure you got tired of me, moved to LW forever and I was just sadly scrolling her dahsboard with tears in my eyes, sniff.

Joking.

Seriously speaking, I got nothing from you and after a few days i smartly decided to ask, lol.

Haven't eaten it, so yep. We have only one sushi restaurant here, so xD

Yeah, good ol' days xD But would never ever wanted to come back to these days, lol.

Possessed by demon would for sure affect your writings. Can't wait to see the bloody horror fics!

Probably the priest didn't know. Priests are usually dumb fucks xD

SHUT YOUR CAKE UP. It's going to be ok!!!!! >;[

FUCK, it is!

Oh, do it! They are rally good and make sense and karamel is adorable and there is no too much Lobotomizer. Especially in book 3, when they go to the restaurant, he is just aaaaaaaaah. Love him.

Well, i was ok with Brainiac in s3 but then, I felt he was the replacement for Winn and Mon. Also, they made him a calculator with feelings and the way they dumber him down for Lobotomizer's sake in their every scene was pathetic. And seriously, dude was sitting on his ass while his so called Legion friends were figting for his people and he didn't even spare one thought about it. And his last scenes, fuck you asshole. Sorry, he seriously annoyed me to the no end.

While i can undersatnd why they treated Mon-El as shit, but Kara? He stayed her established biggest love of her life and she ended as a spinster, without love, private life, married to her two jobs. Like, yeah, role model, indeed. In the end I was not liking this version of Kara, she felt artificial. Sigh

LOL, they would love the lines xD Also, imagine all kids conspirating and shipping them, and making bets xD

I would love their interactions, because for sure they could both learn things from each other. Imagine Kara and Mon-El, being pissed off at MAx for interrupting tehir dates, conspire about making Max and Cat together xDDDDD Maybe Cat would be against her Supergirl dating her enemy lil bro? xD

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!

It's ok :) I really missed talking with you, so happy the issue was solved :D

PS. LMAAAAAAAAAAAAO! That's so awesome! Going to send it to her every day when she won't respect her sleeping hours :D THANKS!!!

PS2. Have you seen the Chris pics?! HOLY DAMN!