#THAT BEING SAID. probably for me it's the 'getting out her diary' one. because I am a sap. and Grief Memorabilia/taking parts of

[terraswallows]

Diary of an Awkward trans-girl : Day 14 - How’s a Girl Supposed to Work When She’s Drowning?

There I was, trying to function like a normal human being—trying to work—while surrounded by the most deliciously queer energy imaginable. Gorgeous trans girl, two trans masc with mischievous grins and dreamy eyes, all buzzing with that unmistakable glow. And yeah, there was a dorky genderqueer guy too—sweet, charming in that awkward way—but let’s be honest: My heart was spinning in circles.

I was already flustered before I even spoke a word, every glance and giggle setting off fireworks under my skin. But somehow… I found the courage to open up. I showed them a piece of my world—my YouTube videos (please don’t judge), the music I’ve been crafting in secret (which made one of them grab my hand and whisper “This is beautiful” as if speaking straight into my soul), and of course, my chaotic little Magic: The Gathering decks. I played the devil on their shoulders, teasing them with sly suggestions mid-game, letting the gay gremlin in me shine.

The one trans girl—probably the most adorable, softest creature I’ve ever laid eyes on—got knocked out of the game first. I wanted to scoop her up, press her against me, and whisper “you’re still my favorite.” When she playfully said "They hate me" She smiled anyway, like losing was just part of the fun. Like she knew the real game was already happening between all the stolen glances and lingering touches.

And then… the mood changed.

Kisses started. Laps were claimed. Hugs turned lingering. Fingers traced thighs. Laughter curled into moans barely stifled under breath.

It was tender. It was electric. It was so charged I thought the lights might dim themselves out of respect.

And then… my boss gave me that look. You know the one—"I support you, but this is a lot." So I had to be the responsible one, and whisper to tone it down. Because sure, it started innocent, but a trans girls? Sure can turn innocent into dangerously delicious without missing a beat. And, part of me wanted to let it happen. Let the kisses grow, let the need unfurl. But instead, I was the shepherd of chaos, reigning in the "fun" before HR descended from the heavens.

Still, the heat lingered. Every time someone slipped outside for air, I stayed behind, heart racing, mind painting pictures far too vivid for a workplace setting. And every time they returned—breathless, flushed, lips a little too glossy—I knew I was in deep. Trans people have a hunger for affection that runs deep and wild, and when it’s mutual? When that desire bounces around the room like static? It’s magic.

And then—just to keep the rollercoaster going—I had to Dm that evenings D&D.

Pizza was eaten.

Dice were rolled.

Players interacted.

While they played, I controlled their narrative and didn't miss a beat.

I finally get home but my cheeks are still flushed. My thoughts are still drifting.

There’s something intoxicating about being in a room full of trans people who aren’t afraid to want, to kiss, to love loudly.

What a day.

What a sweet, horny, heartfelt, chaotic queer little day.

Let there be many more.

[amyzworldds]

Title: Silent Screamer

Masterlist

Yn, seventeen’s noisy, online-addicted maknae, goes quiet to spite her teasing members, leaving fans worried. Pairing: Seventeen x 14th Member Genre: Humor, Fluff

It all started innocently enough. Seventeen's yn, the group’s chaotic 14th member and resident maknae, had built a reputation among carats as the loudest, wildest, and most internet-obsessed idol in kpop history. She was a full of energy—always screaming at the top of her lungs during practice, posting unhinged tiktok with Dokyeom (her partner-in-crime), and flooding weverse with the most random thoughts imaginable. One minute she’d be ranting about how Vernon ate her last ramen packet “VERNON OPPA, I TRUSTED YOU!”, the next she’d be uploading a blurry selfie with the caption, “is my left eyebrow possessed or is it just me?” carats adored her for it. She was their unfiltered queen.

Her tiktok duets with Dokyeom were legendary. The two of them once spent an entire day recreating every viral sound they could find, from DK dramatically lip-syncing “OH NO, I’M FALLING IN LOVE” while yn pretended to faint in the background, to yn doing an exaggerated aegyo dance while DK wheezed off-screen. Fans lived for their chaos. “DK and YN are the siblings we didn’t know we needed,” one carat commented. Another wrote, “They’re single-handedly keeping my Wi-Fi bill paid.”

But yn’s online presence wasn’t just limited to tiktok. Weverse was her personal diary. She’d post things like: “Woozi-oppa just glared at me for singing ‘Hot’ off-key in the shower… I think he’s plotting my demise,” or “Ordered a giant inflatable unicorn online. Arrived today. Mingyu-oppa popped it by sitting on it. I’m suing for emotional damages.” And don’t even get started on her shopping addiction. Every other day, a new package would arrive at the dorm—random stuff like a neon-green wig “for emergencies”, a set of glow-in-the-dark chopsticks “aesthetic”, or—most infamously—a life-sized cardboard cutout of herself. When it arrived, she proudly propped it up near the dorm’s front door, declaring, “This is so you oppas won’t miss me when I’m out of town! Look at it and remember your precious maknae!” The members stared at it, dumbfounded, as she beamed. “It’s like I’m always here with you!”

“Yn-ah,” Seungcheol had said, rubbing his temples, “we see you every day. We’re not gonna miss you that much.”

“Rude, Cheol oppa!” she’d huffed. “You’ll thank me when I’m on a solo schedule and you’re all crying because I’m not here to brighten your lives!”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan had smirked, “I’ll just cry into this creepy cardboard version of you staring at me every time I walk in. Super comforting.”

She’d stuck her tongue out at him and moved on, but the cutout stayed—lurking by the door like a silent, slightly judgmental yn clone.

She was noisy, she was wild, and she was always glued to her phone. That is, until one fateful day when everything changed.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It began during a casual group dinner. Yn was mid-rant about how she’d just spent 30 minutes arguing with a stranger in the comments of a random tweet about whether pineapple belongs on pizza “IT DOES, FIGHT ME!”, when Seungkwan finally snapped. “Yn-ah, do you ever stop being online? I swear, your phone is surgically attached to your hand.” The rest of the members laughed, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah,” Mingyu chimed in, smirking. “I bet you couldn’t survive a day without Wi-Fi. You’d probably cry for your tiktok like a baby.”

“Excuse me?!” Yn shot back, slamming her chopsticks down dramatically. “I am not that dependent on the internet! I could totally live without it!”

“Oh, really?” Jun said, leaning forward with that mischievous glint in his eyes. “Prove it, then. No phone, no tiktok, no weverse, no random packages of useless crap—like that life-sized you by the door that’s been judging me every morning. Let’s see how long you last, Miss ‘I Tweeted About My Sock Falling Off Yesterday.’”

“I DIDN’T TWEET THAT, I POSTED IT ON WEVERSE, OPPA!” Yn screeched, her voice echoing through the dorm. “And that cutout is a gift to you all! You’re welcome! And fine! I’ll prove it! Starting tomorrow, I’m going full mysterious-quiet-yn mode. No posting, no whining, no nothing. You’ll see—I’m not just some loud, whiny maknae who needs her phone!”

DK snorted. “Yeah, sure. I give it three hours before you’re begging me to film a tiktok with you.”

“OPPA, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!” yn wailed, flailing her arms. But the gauntlet was thrown. The bet was on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, yn went silent. Like, scarily silent. No random posts. No tiktok updates. No bursting into the practice room screaming, “Hoshi-oppa, I just saw a TikTok of a tiger doing backflips, we need to try that!” Nothing. She just sat there during rehearsals, arms crossed, lips pursed, rolling her eyes dramatically every time one of the members tried to tease her. The life-sized cutout by the door stood as her only spokesperson, staring blankly at the oppas as they walked by.

“Aw, look at our little maknae,” Minghao cooed, ruffling her hair. “Trying so hard to be mysterious. What’s next? You gonna start wearing a trench coat and sunglasses indoors?”

Yn glared at him, swatting his hand away. “I’m proving a point, oppa. Keep laughing. You’ll see.”

The members couldn’t help themselves—they kept poking at her. “Bet she’s dying to check her phone right now,” Wonwoo said casually, scrolling through his own device. “Probably missing her daily dose of arguing with carats about whether cats or dogs are better.”

“I AM NOT!” Yn snapped, then immediately clamped her mouth shut, realizing she’d broken her 'quiet' persona. She huffed, crossed her arms tighter, and turned away, muttering, “Whatever. At least my cutout’s still here to remind you I exist.”

“Oh, we can’t forget you with that thing around,” Hoshi muttered, shuddering as he glanced at the cardboard yn. “I tripped over it last night and screamed because I thought it was a ghost.”

By day three, the fans noticed. Carats flooded weverse and tiktok with posts like, “Where’s YN? Did she lose her phone?” and “No random rants about Dino oppa stealing her snacks… is she okay?!” One fan even started a hashtag: #BringBackNoisyYN. The silence was deafening, and the fandom was in a full-on panic.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Fast forward to a week later. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua decided to hop on a Weverse live to calm the fans down. The three of them sat in the dorm’s living room, surrounded by yn’s pile of abandoned packages. The life-sized cutout loomed by the door in the background, its unblinking stare adding an extra layer of absurdity to the scene. The chat was already buzzing.

“Oppa, where’s yn?!” one comment read. “Is she sick? She hasn’t posted in DAYS!”

“Yeah, she’s usually so loud and chaotic—what’s going on?” another fan typed.

Seungcheol let out a deep, hearty laugh, leaning back in his chair. “Oh, carats, don’t worry. Our maknae’s fine. She’s just… on a mission.”

“A mission?” Joshua echoed, grinning. “More like a tantrum.”

“Okay, here’s the tea,” Jeonghan said, leaning into the camera with that signature sly smile. “Our little yn-ie got mad because we teased her about being too loud and too online. You know how she’s always posting stuff like, ‘Seungkwan oppa yelled at me for breathing too loud’ or ‘I just ordered a disco ball for the dorm, don’t tell Woozi oppa?' Well, we told her she couldn’t survive without her phone, and she took it personally.”

“Very personally,” Seungcheol added, chuckling. “She’s been sulking around the dorm all week, trying to prove she can be ‘quiet and mysterious.’ It’s hilarious.”

The chat exploded. “LMAO YN IS SO DRAMATIC,” one fan wrote. “She’s really out here trying to be a silent queen??”

“She’s doing a decent job, though,” Joshua admitted, smirking. “She hasn’t whined at us in, like, four days. Usually, she’s screaming, ‘Mingyu oppa, stop eating my snacks!’ or ‘DK-oppa, let’s film a tiktok right now!’ But now? She just rolls her eyes and walks away. It’s kinda creepy.”

“Creepy but funny,” Seungcheol said. “Yesterday, Hoshi tried to get her to crack by jumping out from behind a door with that life-sized cutout of herself she got—oh yeah, she bought that thing so we ‘wouldn’t miss her’ when she’s out of town and stuck it by the door to ‘remind us of her greatness.’ Anyway, she didn’t even scream when he did it. Just glared at him and left. I think he’s still traumatized.”

Jeonghan snickered. “Oh, and don’t get me started on her shopping habit. We told her half her packages are useless junk—like that glow-in-the-dark toilet seat cover she got last month, or that cardboard yn staring at us 24/7. She got so mad, she swore she’d stop ordering stuff. But I saw her sneaking a peek at her phone last night. Bet she’s got a new shipment of random crap coming tomorrow.”

The fans were losing it in the chat. “GLOW-IN-THE-DARK TOILET SEAT?? SHE IS A GENIUS,” one wrote. “The cutout so they won’t miss her?? She’s iconic even when she’s quiet,” another added.

“So yeah,” Seungcheol concluded, still grinning. “She’s not missing or sick or anything. She’s just proving a point. Our wild, noisy maknae is trying to be all mysterious now. Don’t worry, carats—she’ll break eventually. She can’t resist tiktok forever. And honestly, that cutout’s doing a terrible job of replacing her—it doesn’t scream or order random junk.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

Sure enough, two days later, yn caved. The members were in the middle of a dance practice when she suddenly burst into the room, phone in hand, screaming, “DK-OPPA, THERE’S A NEW TREND WE HAVE TO DO RIGHT NOW! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” She shoved her phone in his face, showing off some absurd filter that made their heads look like potatoes.

DK doubled over laughing. “I KNEW IT! You lasted, what, nine days? That’s a new record, yn-ah!”

“Shut up, oppa!” she whined, stomping her foot. “I proved my point! I can be quiet and mysterious! Now move, we’re filming this! And don’t touch my cutout—it’s still guarding the door!”

Within an hour, her tiktok was back online—a video of her and DK cackling as they danced with potato heads, captioned, “My mysterious era: officially over. Miss me, carats?” Weverse followed with a post: “I’m back, oppas are annoying, and I just ordered a lava lamp. Don’t tell Jeonghan-oppa. P.S. My cutout says hi.”

The fans rejoiced. The dorm was noisy again. The life-sized yn by the door stood watch as packages piled up once more. And seventeen's wild maknae was back where she belonged—screaming, posting, and driving her thirteen oppas absolutely insane.

[prettygirl-gabi]

Title: The Hideout 2.0

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Fandom: UConn Women’s Basketball

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: escaping to the safe haven of the scissor sisters once again

🏷️: @yailtsv , @sitawita , @starfulani , @authentic-girl03 , @paige05bby , @paxaz535 , @azziswrld

It happens again. A week later to be exact.

Paige and KK are on TikTok Live, and once again, they’re loud.

I love them both, I really do. But between the overlapping voices, the sudden bursts of laughter, and the chaotic vocal stimming, my head starts feeling like it’s in a pressure cooker. It’s not even their fault—it’s just how they are together.

Instead of letting myself crash, I do what I always do: I slip my phone out of my pocket and text Carol.

Me: Coming to your room again

Carol’s response comes instantly.

Carol: Got The Vampire Diaries queued up. Door’s open.

I smile to myself. That’s why she’s my favorite.

Standing up, I move toward Paige, who’s too caught up in whatever nonsense she and KK are on to notice right away. I tap her arm, and she turns her attention to me with a curious expression.

“What’s up, babe?”

“I need a break,” I say softly, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll be back later, or I’ll be sleeping.”

She barely has time to react before I slip out the door.

⸻

Carol’s bed is already warm when I crawl in beside her.

Azzi, still working on her classwork, glances up from her laptop. “You on the run again?”

I nod, getting comfortable under the blanket. “I kissed Paige and dipped.”

Carol snorts. “Smooth.”

Azzi chuckles, shaking her head before turning back to her accountant assignment that she swore she was gonna burn.

Carol presses play on The Vampire Diaries, and I instantly feel myself relaxing. It’s become our little routine at this point. My quiet escape.

But while I’m finally unwinding, things on Paige’s Live are… not so quiet.

⸻

Paige doesn’t pay much attention to the comments at first. She’s too busy laughing at something KK said, completely unbothered. But then she notices a repeating question.

Why does Y/N keep leaving the Live and never coming back?

She ignores it at first. But then another comment pops up.

She was texting someone right before she left…

Paige’s brows furrow slightly.

Then comes the kicker.

She’s probably cheating.

That makes her stop mid-laugh. KK, noticing the shift in energy, nudges her. “What’s up?”

Paige exhales sharply, reading the comments again.

She shakes her head, unamused. “Alright, let’s shut this down real quick.”

KK raises an eyebrow but lets Paige talk.

“For everyone saying Y/N is ‘cheating’ or whatever dumb theory y’all are coming up with—shut up.” Her tone is firm, unwavering. “She was texting Caroline, telling her she was going to her room. Because, I dunno, maybe I’m loud as hell and she needs some peace?”

KK nods dramatically. “Yeah, we are pretty loud.”

Paige huffs, clearly annoyed. “Y/N gets overwhelmed easy, and instead of suffering through me and KK being obnoxious, or ruin our fun as she states it, she goes to Carol’s room to chill. That’s it. No cheating, no weird drama, just her needing quiet. Y’all gotta stop jumping to conclusions.”

The chat quiets for a moment before some fans start defending me, calling out the ones spreading rumors.

Satisfied, Paige ends the Live.

Then she gets up.

She’s not letting me hide out this time.

⸻

I don’t hear Paige coming.

I’m too comfortable, curled up with Carol under the blanket, half-watching the episode. Azzi is still at her desk, finishing up her exam, completely unbothered.

Then the door swings open.

Carol and I both look up just in time to see Paige stepping inside with a determined expression.

Before I can react, she’s at the bed, reaching down and—

“Paige—what the—”

She lifts me. Bridal style.

I yelp, grabbing onto her instinctively. “Girl, put me down!”

She ignores me, turning back toward the door. “Nope. You’re coming with me.”

Carol snickers. “Damn, guess our throuple honeymoon phase is over.”

Azzi, without looking up, mutters, “Justice for our wife, Y/N.”

Paige ignores them, carrying me effortlessly down the hall.

Carol calls out when Paige and I are half way to her room, “The scissor sisters will avenge you, we promise.”

I squirm, but she tightens her hold. “Relax, babe. I got you.”

“You could’ve just asked me to come back.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t like waking up alone last time. So I just stole you, simple.”

I stop squirming at that.

Paige sighs, adjusting her grip. “I don’t care if you need space, but you don’t have to run away every time. Just tell me, and I’ll chill out.”

I glance up at her, feeling a little guilty. “I didn’t want to ruin your fun.”

Paige scoffs, finally stepping into her room. “Babe, I’d rather you tell me than disappear.”

She sets me down gently on her bed before climbing in beside me.

I let out a small sigh, settling into her warmth. “I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Just talk to me next time.”

I nod, snuggling closer.

KK walks past the open door, peeking in with a smirk. “Damn, you really kidnapped her.”

Paige flips her off. “Mind your business.”

I laugh, finally feeling at ease.

---

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                 -Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

                             -prettygirl-gabi🎀✨️

[squidthusiast]

Ok, but why do I imagine Eight being the unofficial child of Pearl x Marina?

Because I imagine Eight was minding their business and all of a sudden, Pearl would slam the paper down and said “You’re adopted now”

Basically OTH at the start of their world tour haha, I love that they took Eight with them.

I have more detailed thoughts under the cut for those interested in my ramblings, analysis and interpretations of the characters.

Disclaimer: This is my own take on it, don’t let it ruin your fun!

I personally don’t really subscribe to the fandom’s ‘pearlina moms’ headcanon.

On the one hand, I am an absolute sucker for the ‘found family’ trope, and I definitely think Agent 8 and OTH fit in it!

On the other hand, I think people immediately put Pearl and Marina into the ‘parenthood’ box, a little too eagerly. Not saying this specific ask is that, btw, it just reminded me of some instances i’ve seen.

I personally think that the relationship between OTH and Agent 8 is a little more nuanced & sibling-esque, for the following reasons:

1. Within canon, we often see 8 being referred to as a friend by both Pearl and Marina.

Pearl does it more explicitly (see that one interview at her house), whereas with Marina it’s more insinuated (ex. In the Side Order dev diaries, she starts calling Agent 8 as ‘Eight’, which is stated to be a name used by their friends).

Pearl seems to be an accidental-duck-parent of sorts who haphazardly collects octoling teenagers & young musical talent. It goes in line with her whole mentor-esque leader personality, and i’m sure these disoriented teens find relief in an idol who seemingly knows what she’s doing (she really doesn’t).

However she doesn’t act in a parental manner. More-so like your estranged gay cousin who hit it big in another country and is down to show your queer little butt the ropes.

Marina on the other hand seems to have a more empathetic approach with Agent 8 (opposite to Pearl’s brashness). Marina clearly connects with Agent 8 through their shared experience as defected octoling soldiers, and probably sees her younger self in them. She’s already caring as it is, but this is accentuated during octo expansion given the circumstances.

I feel however that, unlike Pearl, Marina has a bit of a harder time actually forming a bond with Eight at the beginning. Their similarities (seemingly) end at their shared experience, and probably leaves Marina awkwardly wondering how to approach them further. What we can assume though is that they become closer friends during OTH’s world tour, given the events described in the Memverse Dev Diaries.

Meeting Eight during difficult circumstances (OE) and helping them get out creates a sense of camaraderie between them, which probably devolves into genuine care, established friendship and a strong bond amongst the three overtime.

2. Pearl and Marina are very career-centric both in Splat 2 and 3.

It is reasonable that the two young idols, who see their fame and musical recognition rise spectacularly & fast, are not particularly interested in settling down at this point in their lives.

Now entering her late 20s, Pearl is most definitely still interested in keeping the ball rolling with Off the Hook’s international success. Her character often points towards restlessness, freedom and discovery. There has definitely been character development in regards to her maturity in Splatoon 3, but these aforementioned traits are still ever present in her demeanour & decision-making.

Marina on the other hand can be seen slowly blossoming from a supporting character to being her own person. She definitely develops more self-confidence by Splatoon 3, but is still naturally bashful. It’s clear that she is allowing herself to explore & open up to new things for her own sake. She remains a caring and somewhat nurturing individual, but she is at a stage where she’s learning to live for herself and not for others.

Parenthood (and all the responsibilities and sacrifices it entails) at this moment of their lives would probably freak Pearl out, and stunt Marina’s personal growth.

3. The age gaps between OTH and Agent 8 are too close for it to create a parent/kid bond.

This makes their relationship a little hazy in regards to roles; 8 is still young enough that they may seek out rolemodels and mentors (still relatively influenceable), but they’re also nearing their 20s. By this point they are fairly self sufficient, have a sense of their personal values & identity, and they are relatively responsible & mature.

Pearl and Marina are 8’s seniors by approximately 4-6 years. However, in Splatoon 2 they’re entering their early 20s and their career has just begun to take off.

They are both still relatively youngsters, albeit older & more mature(? glancing at Pearl) youngsters than 8. This places them in a position where they can guide 8 and offer certain support and resources, but lack the maturity and experience of a full-fledged adult. This would approximate their relationship closer to that of siblings in a family setting.

Pearl & Marina are also less likely to feel a duty towards Eight as an adult would with a child. Instead, the latter’s circumstances are more likely to incite feelings of rapport and compassion as a fellow young inkfish.

Now, with all of this said, I will acknowledge that friendship/found family is MUCH more nuanced than a strict binary.

From personal experience in my last years of college, I did find myself caring for my fellow freshmen as though they were my kids, in certain ways. Hell, I called them my kids.

I acted as a proud parent whenever some of them achieved something, attempted to pass down my knowledge to them, and was protective of them to a certain extent.

They also annoyed me sometimes, like younger people do haha. And i’m sure I annoyed them too!

So I wouldn’t put it past OTH to call Eight their kid and have this mentor/parent-esque rapport with them in certain circumstances.

This is all based both on canon & my own interpretations of it, but still closely aligned to what has been shown in-game.

So if you have a different interpretation of Agent 8 and OTH, that’s great! I love to see people’s personal headcanons. Ultimately, Agent 8 is meant to be somewhat of a blank slate for the players to mold, with some hinted-at personality traits of their own.

As long as you have fun with these characters, that’s all that matters. This is just my personal opinion on their relationship in-game.

If you read all of this, you deserve the biggest golden star for listening to my incessant yapping 🤲⭐️

Feel free to bother me about this or other opinions you may have in my inbox, just be kind please!

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀────۶ৎ another day

synopsis: ever since you joined welton, your days have been anything but normal. between knox obsessing over chris, charlie’s relentless flirting, and pitts and meeks' never-ending radio experiments, there’s never a dull moment. somehow, you’ve become neil’s partner-in-crime, todd’s quiet comfort, and the only one who can get charlie to shut up—sometimes content warnings: fluff

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᡣ𐭩 words.ᐟ 1,260

You’re late to breakfast again, because, let’s be honest, getting up at the crack of dawn isn’t your idea of fun. Neil is already waiting outside your dorm, practically bouncing on his heels.

"You're going to make us late for chemistry," he says, grinning, but you know he doesn’t care. He’s more excited about rehearsals later.

"Please, it’s just chemistry. What’s the worst that could happen?"

Cue Meeks walking by, fiddling with some kind of strange contraption made of wires and gears. “The worst? You could accidentally discover a chemical that wipes out our entire dorm.”

You blink. “…Is that what you’re working on?”

"He's not wrong," Pitts chimes in, balancing a stack of textbooks. “I’m still not sure what we made in class last week. Meeks said it was a radio, but—”

"It was a radio!" Meeks interrupts, offended. “We just… haven’t found a signal yet.”

Charlie greets you all with a dramatic bow at the dining hall entrance, smirking as always. “Ah, if it isn’t my favorite lady. Come, join me for breakfast. I saved you a seat next to yours truly.”

You roll your eyes but take the seat, because let’s face it—arguing with Charlie Dalton is both pointless and highly amusing.

Todd’s already there, quietly poking at his scrambled eggs like they might come alive and attack him. He looks up, glancing at you, then quickly averts his eyes.

“Good morning, Todd,” you say, leaning a little closer just to see if he’ll blush.

He does. "Uh, g-good morning."

Neil slaps him on the back a little too enthusiastically. “Relax, Todd! She’s not going to bite.”

Charlie, leaning back with an exaggerated sigh, stretches an arm across the back of your chair. “Although, she does seem like the type, doesn’t she? A real heartbreaker.”

Neil elbows him before you can respond. “Careful, Dalton, she might take that as a challenge.”

Across the table, Knox is staring wistfully into space, most likely daydreaming about Chris—again. He hasn't touched his food, too busy scribbling something in his notebook, probably a love letter.

“You’re still writing those?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“I think she’ll appreciate the poetry,” Knox says dreamily. “I’ve just got to find the right words. Something that’ll really speak to her soul.”

“Yeah, you and every other lovesick poet in history.” Charlie says, leaning in way too close to you with that smirk. “You know, I could write a love letter… right now… addressed to you.”

“I could throw a book at you right now,” you fire back, raising your diary threateningly. He raises his hands in surrender, but not before tossing in another playful wink.

Todd's buried in a book, his foot tapping nervously under the desk. You nudge him, trying to bring him back to reality. “Relax, Todd, it's just a pop quiz. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Todd looks at you with wide eyes, whispering, “Uh… failing? Public humiliation? Charlie staging a protest because we’re being ‘oppressed by academia’?”

You grin. “I’m surprised Charlie hasn’t done that already.”

Across the room, Pitts and Meeks are still quietly tinkering with the radio, muttering about antenna lengths and frequency adjustments. “Try 89.5,” Pitts suggests.

Meeks sighs. “We’ve tried 89.5 like six times, Pitts.”

Charlie overhears, leaning back in his chair. “Maybe it’s not the signal you’re missing. Maybe the universe just doesn’t want you to hear it.”

You roll your eyes at the dramatics. “Or maybe you two just need to admit your invention is a little cursed.”

Mr. Keating’s class is the highlight, as usual. Today, he’s making everyone stand on their desks to recite poetry.

“Well done!” he says, clapping. “That’s the spirit, seize the day!”

Charlie gets up next and, of course, winks at you mid-recitation. "What is life, if not the pursuit of—”

“Dalton, sit down before you fall,” Keating interrupts, though he’s clearly holding back a smile.

"Today," Keating says with a gleam in his eye, "we’ll be looking at life through a different lens."

Neil nudges you, whispering, "This is gonna be good."

Charlie, lounging in the back, raises his hand. "Mr. Keating, does that lens involve skipping the rest of class for some fresh air?"

Keating grins, not missing a beat. "Now, Nuwanda, where’s the fun in that? We’ve got poetry to read, minds to bend."

Knox is still writing furiously in his notebook, glancing up every so often to see if anyone’s noticed. "Do you think Chris likes daisies? Maybe roses? What if she’s allergic? Should I ask her?"

Neil glances over. "Knox, you haven’t even spoken to her yet."

Todd, beside you, whispers, "Maybe he should just… say hi?"

"You’re all missing the point!" Charlie exclaims, dramatically flinging his arms. "The real romance is right in front of you!" He points to you, leaning in like he’s about to make a grand declaration.

"Charlie, if you flirt with me one more time—"

"You’ll fall in love with me?"

"Absolutely not."

By the time the day winds down, Pitts and Meeks are still muttering over their radio. "Maybe if we try it with a wire hanger," Pitts suggests, looking deeply contemplative. "I swear I heard a sound earlier."

“I think we need to recalibrate the frequency,” Meeks mutters, twisting a knob.

“You’ve been recalibrating the frequency for three days,” you point out, biting into an apple.

“It’s all about persistence,” Pitts says with a determined nod.

“Or delusion,” Charlie adds, stealing your apple out of your hand and taking a huge bite, just to annoy you.

Afternoon rolls around, and you’re barely keeping up in Latin class, but Neil’s right beside you, scribbling notes like a machine. He gives you a reassuring smile, as if to say, You’ll get it. You won’t, but it’s sweet that he believes in you anyway.

After classes, you all meet by the cave for a Dead Poets meeting, the air filled with the smell of damp earth. Charlie’s reciting some scandalous poem he found, Knox is asking for feedback on his latest love letter, and Todd’s nervously glancing at the fire, probably worried it’s going to get out of control. Neil reads Shakespeare with such passion that you’re half convinced he’s going to run off to join a theater company by the end of the week.

By the time the sun sets, you’re all laughing, a little too loud for the quiet woods around you, but who cares? It feels like, for a moment, the whole world belongs to you and this crazy group of boys.

As you head back to the dorms, Charlie walks beside you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “So… you coming to watch me play tonight? I’m thinking of dedicating my next solo to someone very special.”

You laugh, pushing him away. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dalton.”

He leans closer, voice low. “You can deny it all you want, but we both know you’re just here for my charm.”

“You wish,” you say, shaking your head, but smiling anyway.

Todd trails behind, stammering about needing to study for tomorrow's exam, while Neil drags him back to the group, promising they’ll make time for both. Knox, lost in thought about Chris, sighs dreamily. Pitts and Meeks are still discussing their radio, determined that one day, it will pick up a signal.

As everyone heads back to their rooms, Neil gives you a tired smile. "Another day survived."

You laugh. "Barely."

Todd lingers awkwardly, giving you a shy wave before scurrying off, while Charlie blows you a kiss. "Until tomorrow, my muse."

© iamgonnagetyouback ⋆.˚ please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my work.

[weasleyreidstyles]

Serendipity

chapter eighteen

summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.

no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. all characters are aged up to be over 18.

pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader

warning(s): angst, very little fluff (its there but barely!), canonical death, canonical violence, nightmare trope!, mentions of anxiety and allusion to a panic attack

series masterlist; previous part; next part

"Sirius had a brother-" you whisper, your voice betraying your sadness at the thought of the eccentric man.

"Yes. His name was Regulus Black."

"Regulus Black?" Enzo mumbles to himself, as if he was testing the name on his tongue.

"He was Slytherin's star seeker in the seventies." Blaise said in barely restrained awe. "People said that he was an enigma. Always quiet and observing."

"That is a bona fide assessment of my cousin." Andromeda's low voice sounded from the doorway, the head of her husband visible in the room behind where she stood. "He was always calculating something in that brilliant brain of his."

The smile on her face is as reminiscent as it is stricken with grief. Remus turns to her with the same look simmering in his chocolate irises.

"I don't understand." Pansy says quietly. "My father always said that he was enthusiastic about being a Death Eater. Him and his friends. That Voldemort trusted him implicitly. And you're saying he was spy the whole time?"

"That was the whole point of his undercover work." Remus mused with a grim look. "He was so trusted by Voldemort that he didn't even suspect that Regulus might be the one threatening to unravel all of his intricate work."

"If you knew of the horcruxes during the first war, why isn't it a widely known thing now?" Mattheo's deep rasp travels through you like silky butter, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Because we didn't implicitly know what Regulus was searching for. Not until Dumbledore told us of what he and Harry discovered in light of what happened when you," He looked pointedly in your direction, "reacted the way you did to the dark magic swimming in Miss Bell's veins. Every time Regulus would try, his Mark burned. None of us knew just how detrimental his searching was."

"But he succeeded, didn't he? If he found the one you say was a fake." Enzo asked your old professor, eyes alight with curiosity.

"There's more than one." Mattheo says, surprising you all, except Andromeda, who looks as if this information too wasn't new. "Several actually. There was my father's old diary, the ring, this locket-"

He pauses, head swimming with thoughts of the many possibilities.

"Nagini was always whispering about it in the years she'd turn up at Theo's home to torment me. But she always spoke in riddles. There could be more, there probably is more but I don't know what they could be. Something significant to my father, though."

"But how do they work?" Pansy asks, looking between Mattheo and the adults.

"He murdered innocent people to split his soul." Mattheo says resentfully. And though his face is expressionless, you read his shame as if it was there, clear as day.

"So that's how he survived? He severed his soul and tethered himself to the Earth?" Theo's head was slightly tilted to the side, eyes alight with curiosity.

The thought alone sends a wave of colossal dread through you all.

"We believe so, yes. But knowing just how many there are will be crucial if we are to win this war." Andromeda said quietly, before her husband entered the room with a bright smile, despite the stale tension that permeated the air of the tiny kitchen.

"Ready to go, love?" He questions his wife, voice laden with a love that hadn't faded in the years that you'd known the couple through your parents.

"Yes, dear." She mumbles, her hard exterior crumbling from her face for only a split second before the mask has slipped back into place. Ted kisses his wife on the cheek before gently moving her out of the way of the door frame where he comes to being you into a brief hug. One that you fall into without hesitation.

"Will you be alright out here on your own?" He asks you quietly and you nod your head, which is nestled on his shoulder.

"I'll be fine, Ted. Don't worry about me." Please be safe! Your mind is screaming the notion into existence.

Ted is in far more danger than you will ever be; not only was he a muggleborn, but Andromeda had a long list of estranged family members who would not bat an eyelid if Ted Tonks suddenly disappeared. In fact, they'd probably rejoice over his death, before making a martyr out of Andromeda.

He smiles at you in understanding, as if he knows what you don't voice out loud, before he turns you around so that you're both looking out of one of the kitchen windows.

"Just down that hill, about two miles away is a quaint little village. There's a café that is also a bookshop. I think you'd like it there if it ever gets too crowded here."

"Thank you." You say with a grin and he gives you a friendly squeeze before he makes his way back to his wife, who smiles softly at the two of you.

"I'll visit in a few weeks, to see if everything is still standing." Andromeda says, the ghost of a smirk lining her face as she looks between you and your usually raucous friends. Blaise and Enzo share conspiratorial looks, mischief gleaming in their eyes.

"I'll come back in a week with your first assignment. Give you all a chance to settle in." Remus says, nodding at the three newly anointed Order spies, which sobers the mischief, before he too bids farewell.

With a loud crack, they're gone.

~∞~

The following weeks were certainly odd, to say the least. It was almost like the six of you were on a neverending holiday on some days, spending your days roaming the little muggle village, but then on other days, reality would come crashing down, reminding all of you what was at stake.

It was usually Remus who delivered their assignments; it was always Remus who came once you sent your patronus to Headquarters alerting them of the boys' safe return.

About a month in, he'd arrived with Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had eyed you all with barely restrained mistrust as Remus delivered the brief: find out where Charity Burbage was being held captive and do it quickly and carefully. Luckily there was a meeting scheduled for the end of that week that the boys were expected to attend.

They had left within minutes of briefing them and with a crack, Mattheo, Theo and Enzo had left for Malfoy Manor, leaving you, Blaise and Pansy to occupy yourselves in the meantime.

Hours later, after trying to stomach a lacklustre dinner amidst your shared anxieties, the three of you are huddled together in the living room, chatting quietly about the books you were reading, when the mistakable crack of apparition sounded in the silence of night, then three loud knocks branded the front door.

Blaise took it upon himself to see who it was, and upon seeing their sullen faces, let the three boys in.

Immediately you can tell that something bad has happened.

Enzo doesn't bother greeting the three of you like he normally does as he storms off upstairs to his room; Theo heads straight for the garden door, a pack of cigarettes already in his possession and Mattheo looks positively murderous.

Blaise and Pansy seem to come to an understanding and they go in opposite directions, towards where Theo and Enzo disappeared to, leaving you and Mattheo alone. He doesn't even look like he's present in the moment and your heart aches for him.

"Théo?" You ask, voice barely louder than a whisper. But it knocks him from his stupor as he takes hold of your hand in his, soft against his angry callouses. "Lets go upstairs."

He agrees gruffly, voice low and rough, eyes shining with the onslaught on unshed tears.

Slowly the two of you make your way to the bedroom you share, silence engulfing the two of you, leaving only the sound of your breathing to fill the space. When you enter the room, Mattheo practically collapses onto the bed, body spent from the sheer exhaustion of the evening.

"What happened?" You ask softly, sitting against the headboard and guiding his head into your lap. Mattheo keens into you as you run gentle hands through his unruly hair.

The tears flow shortly after you start and your heart breaks for him.

"She's dead." He says, his voice raspy, catching in his throat. "Professor Burbage is dead."

Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes fill with tears. Professor Burbage was sunshine personified. She always had a smile on her face despite what the Purebloods said about her affliction to muggle culture. She was beloved by all the muggleborns and the staff; was one of Dumbledore's favourites. And she was a valued member of The Orderof the Pheonix, as an emissary to the muggle authorities. She was a valuable member. Now she was gone.

"H-how did she die?" You whisper hesitantly, for you don't know if the closure of knowing would be worth it.

"My father-" Mattheo shuddered. "He set Nagini on her. He didn't even give her the mercy of a quick death."

Whenever his eyes blink shut, he can see the terror behind the teary eyes of the Professor as she stared between the four boys and Severus Snape while Nagini slithered towards her suspended body. He sees the way her eyes fill with dread as no one comes to her aid. Can see the moment of acceptance as her cries suddenly dull to a staggering silence.

He fears that he won't ever sleep peacefully again. The only saving grace is that you'll never have to witness something like it, if he has his way.

"Gods." You say in disbelief, and you hold onto Mattheo a little tighter at the thought. "We need to tell Remus."

"Not yet." He says and he abruptly sits up from his place.

"Why not? He asked you to find out what happened to her. He needs to know." You argue, but you can already see his stubbornness take effect.

"I said not yet." He retorts with anger painting his features. Your brows furrow in offence. He hadn't spoken to you in such a manner in months.

But you can see how his entire resolve has continued to crumble from the moment he stepped over the threshold. Sp instead of arguing back like you want to, for the sake of getting the information to Remus, you agree and wordlessly huide his head to rest in your lap once again.

"Okay. But as soon as we wake in the morning, I'm going to tell him."

Mattheo mumbles his response into the fabric of your leggings, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your fingers brushing through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp.

He falls into a light sleep and you're content to fall asleep sat up with him, as long as he was peaceful.

~∞~

He's back there again.

In the seat at the right hand side of his father. When the three of them had arrived at Malfoy Manor for the meeting, Mattheo could feel an unmistakable shift in the air.

The way his father's face twisted into a sinister smirk made his insides curl in dreaded anticipation.

"My loyal followers!" He says, arms outstretched as he addressed the sea of Death Eaters who were watching their master in rapt attention. "I have a special treat for you all tonight."

The feeling of dread made Mattheo's stomach drop even further. He didn't need to look to see that Theo, Enzo and Draco felt the same sense of foreboding.

Voldemort wanders around the table, stopping behind where Lucius was sat, before he snatches the wizard's wand from the table with a deadly snicker of a laugh. Draco does not look at his father's humiliated expression.

"I have brought you all a little...gift of sorts."

With a flourish of Lucius' wand, and to Mattheo's utter horror, Charity Burbage appears in front of their very eyes, arms and legs bound together with a brutal looking rope and mouth magically gagged shut.

He feels sick.

He barely hears as his father mocks her, telling the Death Eaters that she was encouraging young wizards and witches to mate with Muggles, thus polluting the Wizarding World with more Halfbloods and Muggleborns all while she cannot defend herself or ask those she recognises for help.

All Mattheo can comprend is that Nagini has found her way towards her dangling prey and Charity's magically bound gag has been removed.

"Severus.." her pleading eyes fall on her old old. "Please! Help me!"

Snape's eyes have not moved from a spot on the wall behind her flailing body. They don't move from that spot as Nagini prepares to strike.

Mattheo grips the arm rests of his seat as he stares blankly ahead, the sounds of his Professor's shrieks and painful screams as her flesh is torn apart is all his can hear.

And then her screams turn into a familiar tone; instead of his Professor, it's you who is suspended above the snake. Your horrifying screams permeate every corner of his skull until its all he can hear.

You're begging him to help you, but he cannot move. His limbs are glued to his seat as his father laughs manically at your expense.

His mind won't even grant him to ability to block it out. Your screams are all he can hear until his father finally utters the killing blow.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Your body drops to a heap on the floor. And then, Nagini feasts.

Mattheo wakes with a start, only to be met by your wary face staring down at him. Gods he feels like he can't breathe.

"I know. I know." He hears your reassurance as clear as day, but he can't breathe.

You place one of his clammy feeling hands against your chest, where your heart beats calmly despite the gravity of the situation. He feels the way you exaggerate your breathing, hoping he can follow.

He does so and eventually he calms down enough to wipe the sweat from his hands and his forehead.

"You're okay. Your safe." You're still holding his hand to your chest, thumb stroking over the small scars that litter his knuckles.

"It was you." He mumbles breathlessly, tears falling from his onyx eyes. "You were in her place and I did nothing to save you. I couldn't save you."

Your heart breaks for him.

"Oh love." You whisper, pulling his body into your's and wrapping him into a tight hug. "I'm here and I'm safe. I'm not going anywhere."

"It felt so real." He says into the skin of your neck, his hot breath fanning iver your sensitive skin.

"It wasn't real, Mattheo." You reaffirm, moving so that your hands cradled both sides of his face, your eyes meeting his. "It was only a dream. I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?" He hated that he sounded so weak...so vulnerable. But he could always be himself around you, could always count on you to make him feel anything but empty and numb.

"I promise you, Mattheo Riddle." you say, your lips tilting up with a slight smile that he mirrors. You press a light kiss to his chapped lips which he reciprocates in earnest.

Your souls ignite as one and it feels as if a weight has simultaneously been placed and lifted on your shoulders all at once.

Remus would be alerted in the next few hours, but for now, Mattheo let you guide him to a lying position where he layed safely in your arms.

He did not dream of your screams for the rest of the night, but it would haunt him for the rest of his life. That he was certain of.

~∞~

this one is so so so short but i've actually taken so long to get this one written up

also from this point theres just a whole lot of angst (just a little prewarning🫡)

taglist:

(striked out users are ones that i couldn't tag)

@camille-1019 @lovelyygirl8 @xluansstuff @babeylover @thejadeazalea @undercover-smutlover @adhxmoony @dreamingofonceuponatime @thepassionatereader @urmomsgayforme5 @aphroditeisamilf @devotedlycrookeddonut @purplegirls-posts @nofacenonamelikekira @foxboyapologist @lafrone @lovely-maryj @nromanovaswife @leeknows-wife @dracygf @wildlyobserving @ravenclawprincess33 @melllinaa @vellicora @lantsovheiress @emiliahoward @stunkbiggu @vcosette @prongsprincessworld @mattiesgirl @rachmmb @x-kermit-x @sun-fiower-seed @cas-planet @certaindreampost @weirdowithnobeardo @mikalovesicecream @benwadsworthsgf @rainy-darling @faeriepigeons @lovely-blackinnon @hiireadstuff @gimalo135 @elsafromcabinsix @moonlightreader649 @blueshome @nopedefe @spencerreidsthings @navs-bhat @agent-tempest @magimtz23 @y0urm0m12 @sbrn0905 @leona-hawthorne @whatsupb18

[duskdog]

So with Cass going to her happy place (that is, Steph) one more time, and all the analysis around it right now, I thought it might also be good to talk about Steph's vision of Cass.

As far as I recall, it only happened once -- in Batgirl (2000) #26 -- and it was a very mixed portrayal. For context, I think it's important to remember that this is still very early in their relationship -- this is only the fourth interaction we've actually seen on-panel, in fact, and the first was barely an interaction at all.

And yet it seems that Steph has already embraced Cass in a way that Cass has not yet embraced Steph. In their third interaction, Cass has accidentally almost killed Shadow Thief, and Steph helps her resuscitate him and then immediately agrees not to tell Oracle about what happened. No reservation whatsoever -- a crying, guilty, terrified Cass doesn't even manage to find the words to ask exactly what she wants before Steph understands and gives it to her.

And here, in their fourth interaction, Cass doesn't even know it's occurring. She's recovering from her fight to the death with Shiva, and is asleep for the entirely of the issue. But Steph is extremely concerned about her (moreso than Babs, but to be fair to Babs, she has a lot more experience with how Cass is and is probably just relieved that she's actually resting), despite the fact that they really barely know each other at this point.

Steph goes out to fight Shiva's disciple in Cass's stead, because Cass is still indisposed. She's gung-ho at the start, but upon seeing her opponent, gets cold feet and starts to lose faith in herself. Here's where the Cass-vision starts.

Look at Imaginary Cass hyping her up. She's even smiling under the mask, which isn't something Steph has ever seen her do on-panel. Note how articulate Cass is. At this point in her development, Cass didn't communicate this way. She didn't use long sentences, smoothly strung together, with anyone, and she didn't use them with Steph in particular. In fact, here's the extent of what Cass has said to Steph directly on-panel so far, in their entire relationship: Become faster. Read it. (multiple times) No. (multiple times) When? Quiet. (multiple times) Go home. Then we wait. You take the train. I take the car. Kinsey is here. Get down. The money. Trade? Why? Let's go. Help me. And of course, the above interaction about Shadow Thief. Obviously, not only does Actual Cass have very little to say to Steph, she certainly doesn't have anything encouraging to say! She's outright dismissive of her, at best. And that's just how Cass is as this point in her development -- her speech abilities are still limited, her social development is stunted, and she's just not a cuddly person in general. Combat, and getting the job done, are of utmost importance to her. She's not intentionally cruel, she's just very blunt and calls it like she sees it, and she's like that with pretty much everyone. So we have Imaginary Cass, speaking and behaving in a very un-Cass-like manner... and Steph actually having a conversation with this imaginary Cass out loud. It's a little weird, but it's very in-character for Steph, who is extremely talkative and thrives on interaction. Babbling seems to be an anxiety response for her. She already has a tendency to narrate her own experiences via her diary, so I think it's not a stretch to say that she might try to talk through her own anxiety with herself by imagining that self-conversation being with Cass instead. This differs from Cass's hallucinations in that Steph isn't dead, dying, or drugged. She's wide awake, and she seems to know that Cass is imaginary, because she even recognizes the fact that Cass doesn't normally speak this way to her. Imaginary Cass is just a vehicle for expressing what she's trying to tell herself -- much like Steph will later be a vehicle for Cass to express her feelings to herself in Batgirl (2024) #5. But here we are later, when Steph begins to feel like she's failing:

Imaginary Cass turns disparaging, taunting her, saying all the things that Steph clearly feels about herself: she's not good enough, they were wrong to put their faith in her, she's failed, she's going to die, and worse -- other people are going to die because of her failure, too. (It's worth noting that, in retrospect, this ends up sounding like an entirely unintentional foreshadowing of War Games.) This makes Steph mad (seriously, look how angry her silly mask blob eyes are) and motivates her to ultimately win the battle. Steph gets a lot of motivation from spite, and in this case it's probably helpful that the disparagement is seeming to come from "someone else" (namely imaginary Cass) instead of from herself. It's easier to spite other people than to spite yourself. It's easier to be motivated to prove them wrong. Again, Cass is a vehicle for Steph's internal monologue -- it becomes a dialogue instead, in a way that is helpful to her in the end.

Then there's one more vision:

Look at Steph's face. Just for an instant, she's so happy. She clearly admires Cass, and has expressed it on multiple occasions ever since they met. She's in awe. And she desperately needs someone to believe in her, and be proud of her. If Batgirl, the girl who beat Lady Shiva, could be proud of her, then wouldn't that mean the world?

But it's not to be.

At least not yet.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

okay so I'm watching apothecary diaries and I have just completed season 2 episode 36.

out of respect for those who do not like to have things spoiled, all of my screeching, squealing, and squawking is below the cut

@birinboom here's all the stuff I wanted to share with you!

I love Lady Gyokuyou. She's such a clever, kind, caring, and poised lady. I enjoy the way she handles herself and her affairs. I'm remembering how in season 1 she talked about how ignorance is a blight or disease and that just really resonates with me

also the way she had no problem teasing Jinshi and putting him through the wringer as they both fought over...custody? of Maomao. Her saying things like my Maomao. Jinshi insisting she return her.

Either way when Jinshi finally figures out how to, and somehow manages to marry Maomao, she will technically be his...wife, which affords him higher priority in Maomao's life. Gyokuyou would probably still tease him excessively though. Love her. Thinking about the customs of this setting though, given he bought her out, she kinda is "his." I'm going to stop myself here.

TLDR: Gyokuyou, you queen. Love that you gave Jinshi a hard time before letting him take Maomao on a trip.

I actually like Basen. Maybe because he's cute. Maybe because I like his JP casting...he has a nice voice. Or maybe it's because I adore his father. Gaoshun is truly such a sweet man. Anywho this question has me entertained. It's because she's brilliant and really handy my dude. Girls solves problems like it's her primary source of income (which it kinda is becoming her primary source of income...or has it already given she's now in Jinshi's employ and not Gyokuyou's).

Also given how perceptive Gaoshun is, he noticed probably before Jinshi even bothered to consider that his interest in Maomao is romantic, that it was in fact of that nature. Given how useful she's been and how many important people have solicited her help, I feel like Gaoshun is growing slightly more lenient about Jinshi's feelings. Though at the same time, he's probably more than ready to advise against them if he feels they will harm Jinshi. Gaoshun probably even has the strength of character to take action to aid Jinshi in overcoming any feelings.

He is allowing Jinshi his proximity to Maomao within reason because it does help and I'm of the opinion it does have some kind of positive effect on Jinshi overall. Jinshi does seem more...relaxed, or perhaps I ought to say, at ease with Maomao.

Anyway, Jinshi doesn't have to worry at all about single Basen being around Maomao. Basen hasn't got the slightest interest in her.

he's giving ✨Diva✨ ...which he kinda is... ...sometimes...

I think it's awesome he feels this comfortable and relaxed around Maomao. Gaoshun raised him, and Basen is essentially another man and an extension of Gaoshun, so the only person he'd really have to stand on ceremony for in this context is Maomao.

He could also just be subconsciously trying to charm her...even though he knows she immune

this was just adorable to me despite the violence. Papa-shun punch.

this got a laugh out of me like. Maomao really said: "I'm build different" when Basen commented on her tolerance to...I think it was alcohol?

BEST BOI IS BACK! I genuinely adore and enjoy Lihaku. He's an honest fella...as I type this I think about how he's going to get wrung dry by the Virdigris House as a result. Anywho it was nice to see him again

Lihaku is something of an overgrown puppy. Oh gosh...this girl though...she us fr

Now...onto the bits that had meeee

Maomao really said: I'm about to get a troublesome lore drop, time for a swift exit. Girl was dodging him revealing who he really was like her life depended on it...probably because it does.

One thing I really like about Maomao is how she's very aware of how the system works and she tries her best to position herself in a way that keeps her out of trouble, or keeps her safe. That element makes her feel really human, and real. It also keeps her from having those traditionally known "mary-sue" qualities that tend to make characters unlikable. Her character is primarily interested in medicine and poison, that remains consistent regardless. She doesn't have to agree with the system, but she doesn't take it upon herself to fix it, because as previously stated it's not her area of interest.

One thing I do like is that Maomao will work within her means/limits to do good though. She just doesn't launch a full-scale campaign to change the system. So long as she has access to her herbs and poisonous specimens, so long as people around her are healthy, then she's chillin'

A very good boy to the rescue. I enjoyed this scene a lot. I also found myself cackling about how I could see the way their dynamic would be when they're married. I can see him trying (and mostly failing) to charm Maomao for the evening, and they'd have their toddler come and ruin everything by jumping onto him.

Honestly the whole thing from start to finish was a ride. There's a few things that stood out to me that I enjoyed:

Jinshi doesn't really stare when Maomao is removing her clothes. He looks away initially and attempts to give Maomao space and privacy. The time he does look is when she's offering him something to eat. He isn't even sneaking peaks. It really is indicative of his noble status and upbringing. I have a feeling people want to debate me on the idea that nobles aren't all that noble in character, but see that's the thing. Jinshi is of noble birth and more importantly noble character.

This stood out and it was interesting: Jinshi changed his hair from a middle to a side part. I assumed that was part of the disguise.

Maomao's clinical approach to things is really entertaining for me. Jinshi's an emotional mess and Maomao's just deadpan and dealing with it all without the frills. Though soon enough he's also being strategic right alongside her. I do enjoy those moments when they're collaborating on something, it really shows you how they're a good match for one another. Their synergy is really fun to observe.

I finally understood why they called it the frog scene...kinda...when I saw the frog. Though with all the discussion about the frog...that wasn't a frog...which I will not be delving into beyond: they oughta put Sakata Gintoki reacting to this episode because that would be a riot.

I really enjoyed the difference in size between Maomao and Jinshi. There were also really clear hints to how much physically stronger (and therefore threatening) Jinshi was. The scene seemed to work to establish, perhaps more to Maomao than to us, that Jinshi is indeed a man. There's supposed to be a shift in her mentality or attitude towards him given now she knows he's not a eunuch, but from what I'm seeing after she received the Ox Bezoar...she might need the message reiterated.

Overall though the art was really well done in demonstrating how tiny Maomao is in comparison to Jinshi.

Another thing: Jinshi's hands found their way to Maomao's waist a decent amount. The way the shots were framed it feels very deliberate. Which I think was Jinshi's way of trying to be taken seriously and as a normal non-eunuch male. Good luck bro, Maomao would probably think you were messing with her if you told her what you were feeling in the most direct, impossible to misinterpret manner.

matching PFPs anyone?

he looks so stressed over the fact that she's so cute when she's happy. do I blame him? no. but it is entertaining

though I couldn't help but think: you idiot, you hand over the prize after giving the news, girlie is not going to be listening to you or hearing a word you have to say now. She is completely taken with the ox bezoar.

best of luck Jinshi, watching you suffer is deeply entertaining for me.

oh but, "so I'll always just be me to you" or something like that...Jinshi seemed to really appreciate that. There was, to me at least, a sense of resignation, but also a kind of peace in the way the voice actor delivered the line? Like huh...guess I'm just always just going to be me...strange...

I don't think Jinshi is used to that, so he's kinda resigning himself to the idea this dynamic with Maomao will continue as is, but he doesn't really mind. He just needs to drop his guard and let himself grow comfortable with it. He already likes it, unfamiliar as it is, to be an individual and not a title.

TLDR: I laughed and cackled at Jinshi's expense. Gyokuyou, a queen I adore. Maomao: dense when it comes to feelings and super funny. Lihaku is best boy. Don't give the reward/payment until the job is done first!

[icycoldninja]

Can u write the DMC boys accidentally come across the reader’s diary? Curious, they flip open the pages finding random sketches of her daily life: Trish picking her nail, Vergil polishing his Yamato, Lady chatting up with Nico; etc with little comments like

‘Lady looks the coolest with glasses’

‘I wonder what brand Trish got her corset from. It really accentuate her figures so well!’

‘Dante and Vergil fought again. It would be amusing had it not been for the fact that a tree collapsed because of them’

They thought of detailed the sketches are, quietly admiring it before coming across the middle of the diary, which was full of their drawings and her random thoughts being written inside:

‘He looks so cool with his jacket. Can I be equally as cool as him?’

‘They said that men look the most attractive when concentrating on something. At first I didn’t get it, now I fully understand the hype’

‘I saw his biceps the other day. Sometimes I don’t know if I want to be him or have him’

It was quite endearing before the boys come across the “less appropriate” section of the diary, including the comments and her sketches of them:

‘I took a good look of his side profile the other day. I wonder what it’s like to ride his nose. The bump on his nose would be the cherry on top *aggressive lip biting*’

‘His hands are so big…sometimes I wonder if it would fit down there without me screaming’

‘I’m supposed to be better than this, now that I found out his devil trigger is rather bewitching to say the least. It’s risky but at the same time worth it to find out what kind of impalement I can die from’

‘I want to lick his happy trail ngl’

‘Every time he gets mad, I can’t help but scream without the s’

You asked; I shall faithfully deliver.

Sparda boys + V Reading Reader's diary headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-You made the mistake of leaving your precious diary out while Dante was in the vicinity, and this man POUNCED on the opportunity.

-He started flipping through your diary, finding all these sketches of your daily life, as well as some silly little comments.

-It was all heartfelt and wholesome at first. Dante thought you were a really good artist and couldn't help but giggle a little at how much you seemed to admire him and Vergil. (Him more.)

-Then he came across the section that shall be henceforth known as The Cursed Pages.

-Jesus Fricking Christ, this was a whole new level of horny. There were hundreds, if not thousands of sketches of himself as well as the others crammed into every corner of the paper, surrounded by comments that you'd made, most of them horny ones.

-Dante didn't want to read any further. He shut the book, put it back, and tried to pretend he never saw anything. Sure, he was flattered to be your muse and all that, but he never knew you felt...that way.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is normally not very nosy, but seeing you leave your diary on the table, then walk away snickering had him very curious.

-Against his better judgement, he began flipping through the various entries there, smiling as he read what was basically your daily life in manga form. You were a good artist, he'd give you that.

-Then he came across The Cursed Pages. Oh God.

-Vergil understands diaries are where one is supposed to be able to openly describe one's fantasies, and he had no problem with that, but when nearly all your fantasies are about him, he can't help but feel a little worried. And a little flattered. And a little hot.

-You've made several....interesting comments about his body, and other parts of him, and honestly, it sounds like you're head over heels for him--obsessed, even.

-Well, at least Vergil can use this information as reassurance that if he ever confesses to you someday, you probably won't reject him.

□ Nero □

-Nero is not known to be nosy, but when you, his long-time crush, left your diary out around him, he decided to break character.

-He knew he shouldn't have, but he decided to forgo his principles and snoop.

-Needless to say, he found some Pretty interesting stuff, from little sketches of your daily life, little chibi drawings of V and his pets, and tiny comments that seemed to come straight from your heart.

-It was all so sweet, he thought, until he saw The Cursed Pages. Then all the warm bubbles he had floating around in his stomach popped immediately. What the hell kind of mind did you have that made you create such perverted drawings?!

-After a little while, Nero's initial shock faded and he realized that you were actually pretty talented and your horny remarks ended up making him horny.

-He had to put your diary down before he got too hot and bothered because if he got to that point, there'd be no returning.

● V ●

-V isn't one to snoop, especially through your things, but your diary was so tempting, he couldn't resist.

-So, he took a peek when you left the room, finding some nice sketches and funny little comments.

-He didn't expect to find much else in there, but as he continued to flip through the pages of your diary, he found entries that were getting more and more personal by the minute.

-This led him to The Cursed Pages, where you practically vented all your sexual desires and more.

-V was disgusted, flattered, shocked, and a little ashamed for having gone this far. It was nice that you liked him in that way, but...did you have to be so...dirty minded?

-V eventually chalked it down to the natural obsession that comes with love and quickly returned your diary to its place before resuming whatever it was he was doing earlier, pretending all this had never happened.

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[chee-shep]

Favorite Student (Teacher!Sanemi X SeniorStudent!Reader)

I've written sloppy smut, but this is the worst one yet.

I haven't written in while. I'll go back and re-read it later to double check perspectives since I've had a bad habbit of mixing them.

Mature & General Content Warning: StudentXTeacher, fingering, squirting, Kaigaku being a bully and a bit of an ooc Sanemi at times

“It has to be here somewhere,” (Y/N) said as she dug through the trash can, looking for her lost item.

“(Y/N)?” A familiar, stern voice was heard from behind her. She turned around to see the math teacher, Sanemi Shinzugawa looking at her with his arms folded. “What on earth are you doing here after hours?”

“Huh?” (Y/N) said, turning around after stepping away from looking in a trash can. She was probably Sanemi’s best student, the only one who listened in math. Just maybe she was his favorite, “Oh, Mr. Shinazugawa.” It was odd she was at school after hours, she was a good senior student who wouldn’t be getting into trouble.

In the teacher's mind, she was not the type of student to do something mischievous or foolish, so he assumed she had a pretty valid reason for being at school. "Why are you here?" He repeated his question, his arms still crossed.

“Someone stole my diary, and I was trying to find it.” She said, looking worried as looked back in the trash can, “I thought maybe he’d have tossed it out after he probably read through it…”

His eyes widened when you informed him that someone stole your diary. He felt protective over you, since she was known as his favorite student. "Let me ask you something. Do you have any idea who stole your diary?" He asked, his tone turning more serious.

“It… It was Kaigaku.” She admitted, looking away. She had really hoped that she could take care of this issue on her own.

His eyebrows shot up, and his jaw dropped a bit. He could not believe that a fellow student would steal his favorite student's diary. But then again, it was Kaigaku.

"And why do you think it was him?" He asked, with suspicion.

“He told me he wanted me to do his history homework for him…” She said, looking very upset her diary was gone. “I guess he wanted to use it as blackmail, or hold it over my head.”

Sanemi-Shinazugawa's eyes widened with disbelief and rage as he processed what you just said. "So... this was all because you didn't let him cheat off of you.."

“Yes…” (Y/N) wasn’t the type to let someone copy her. She’d be more than willing to help and tutor, but she wouldn’t aid cheating.

"Hmm..." *He thought for a moment, tapping his chin.* "He has to have put it somewhere... I don't think he would just toss it out..." Part of him wanted to catch Kaigaku with it, just to take the annoying brat down a peg.

“He might still have it.” She said sadly, wondering just how many pages he’d probably have already read through.

"I bet he still has it." He grumbled, crossing his arms and clenching his fists a bit. He got mad whenever anyone did something mean to you, his favorite student.

“I guess I should just go home then, and to track him down tomorrow.” She said, “I should get going, it’s almost about to start raining…”

He was about to let her go, but he stopped her. "Wait, Lilli. Before you go, answer me one more question."

“Huh?” She was confused but followed him anyway to the school entrance.

Sanemi had thought as much. Your diary was probably your safe space of sorts, and he figured that you could get really honest and personal in it.

"And... is there anything specific about..." *He hesitated to ask the question that was on his mind. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder what could be in there that Kaigaku would be desperate to get his hands on.

“Boys?” She guessed the end of his sentence,* “Yes, more personal feelings written in there…”

"Hmph..." The math teacher mumbled before clearing his throat and saying with a slightly less strict tone, "Alright. Well, I guess you still should go home... it's late and the rain's almost here..."

“Yeah, I better hurry.” She said, “Thank you for understanding.” She was glad she wasn’t in trouble for trying to find her lost possession.

He only nodded and watched her walk down the hallway as his eyes followed her, making sure she made it out of the school safely in the late night. Part of him was worried about her walk home, but hopefully the short walk from school would be okay.

Lilli missed math class that next morning, something unusual and out of character for her. As the students left he could hear whispers about Lilli crying in the broken girls bathroom.

That bathroom had been broken for months, causing it to be abandoned by students. No water supply to it left it as a secret hangout or for Lilli a hiding place to cry in.

The math teacher grew suspicious and concerned when hearing the rumors that (Y/N) was crying in the abandoned girl's room. He immediately left his classroom and went straight to the girl's restroom.

"(Y-Y/N)?" Sanemi called out, the anger in his voice becoming something a bit more concerned and even, dare he not say, protective. "Is that you?"

"I'm down here..." She whimpered, making Sanemi realize she was crying on the floor, curled up under a sink.

He crouched down in front of her, his tone turning more gentle. "What's wrong, (Y/N)? I heard you crying and I-" His eyes widened and his heart nearly dropped in horror when he saw the graffiti on the wall.

Suddenly, a large piece of graffiti in the hallway caught his attention. *In huge letters it read, ‘(Y/N) Loves Mr. Shinazugawa' as if someone had found out a secret and wanted to taunt and torture her with it.

"He's painted it everywhere," she said, "It's all over campus."

The math teacher grit his teeth, it felt like steam could come out of his ears as if he was an enraged kettle.

"That stupid ass..." He snapped, but immediately turned a bit softer and looked genuinely a bit worried for your safety. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No..." She whimpered, her face buried in her knees.

"(Y/N), look at me." He said in a stern, but yet reassuring tone, crouching before her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

(Y/N) shyly looked up at him, her mascara running down her face from how she had been crying.

He felt his heart sink when he saw the tears running down her face and the makeup running down with it. His entire persona softened and his strictness disappeared as if it was all just a show.

"(Y/N)... don't beat yourself up over it..." He said, using a gentle, comforting tone that he's only used for the rare moments he ever encountered little kids. "If you want, you don't have to go to your final class today... You can just go to the nurse’s office until I take care of this..."

"I... I don't want to go to the nurse..." She whimpered, "It's the last period of the day, can't I just... hide in here?" 

He pondered for a bit before sighing and nodding. "Fine... But don't get yourself caught, okay?" He replied as he stood and dusted himself off, before looking down at her again. "If you need anything, my classroom is right down the hall. You can come to my classroom instead. Got it?"

"Can I just hide in there?" She asked, knowing this last class of the day was his free period.

"Hmm... Fine." He said after thinking again and holding out a hand to help her up. "But you've got to promise to keep it a secret and not let other students see you in there, okay?"

"Okay," She said, taking his hand and standing up.  

When they got into her classroom she sat in her usual seat. She decided now that this would be a good time to do today's homework assignments.

The math teacher sat at his desk and continued to grade tests, keeping an eagle eye watch at the door in case a student passed by. He looked over to see Lilli starting to do her homework, and felt bad for her. He had to say something to ease her worries a bit.

"Hey, Lilli..." He said, his tone surprisingly gentle and soft as he made a motion for her to come and sit by him at his desk.

"Y-Yes Mr. Shinazugawa?" She said, a bit startled. She was still a bit embarrassed about the secret of her crush on him being out.

He looked her directly in the eyes and gave her a very gentle and warm smile that nearly turned him into almost a different person than the strict teacher student knew him as.

"It's alright, (Y/N). Ignore all the stupid and dumb things written on those walls, okay?" He said, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving her a sincere and understanding look "And no matter what your students say and do, you're still the top student in my class."

"I just..." She said, looking away shyly, "I wish things... could be a bit different..."

He raised an eyebrow, slightly confused by what she meant by that. "What do you mean? What things could be a bit different?" He inquired, placing a hand on her chin and turning her head to face him once more.

"Y-You and I..." She shyly answered. He knew what she meant, her crush was discovered by Kaigaku. He saw the spray painting on the wall.

He was surprised at how she felt about him. He was still processing the fact that Lilli was his self-proclaimed favorite student, and yet she had a crush on him. “So... you have a crush on me?" *Sanemi asked quietly, her nodding in response.

His face slightly turned pink, and he had to prevent himself from leaning back on his desk. He also had to refrain from wrapping his arms around her, and pulling her into an embrace.

"It's... not everyday that my student has a crush on me." He spoke, trying to keep his composure. "Not to mention my favorite one..."

It was true, most students were afraid of him or hated him. "I just... I don't know how it happened..."

"Well, I guess we're both surprised by this... But, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still a teacher..." He pulled his hand from her chin, but kept his eyes on her and leaned a bit close to her in a way that she had to look at him. "But... it also doesn't change the fact that I like you too... a lot… But still," He answered after a few moments of staring into her eyes. He knew as well as she did how taboo their relationship would be.

"I-I know but..." *She said, having a bit of a pleading look in her eyes as he leaned back a bit away from her and sighed.

"No buts. I'm a teacher, and you're my student. It would be inappropriate for us to date and be in a relationship while we're still at school." He said as a matter-of-fact tone, crossing his arms and trying to look even a bit stern.

"Maybe though.." She said with a pleading look, "Just... one kiss?"

The math teacher gulped, feeling a bit flustered at hearing her ask to kiss him. On one hand, kissing her was a bad idea, because they were still in school and she was a student.

"Just one?" He inquired, his stern expression slowly starting to fade.

"Yes, I won't ask for another one, I promise." She said, maybe just having a short, little fix of him could help her feel better. Maybe it'd fulfill whatever daydreams she had of him as well.

"Fine, but just one, alright?" Sanemi said as he started to feel a bit bashful about the entire situation, and yet it didn't stop him from leaning in and putting a hand on the side of (Y/N)'s cheek as he closed his eyes and puckered his lips. He seemed almost excited that he was finally going to kiss his favorite student, and even more since he'd never actually kissed someone in a long time.

She closed her eyes, puckering her lips and meeting him halfway. It truly felt like a magical moment. Something they could share together behind closed doors.

The math teacher let out a content, and almost relieved sigh as he moved his lips against hers. He gently pulled her in, his other hand wrapping around her waist as he kissed her in a deep and passionate kiss that felt like fireworks. It was more than just a little kiss. It was a kiss that had Sanemi second guessing himself.

Sanemi Shinazugawa was almost shocked that he started second guessing himself. Why did it feel so good? What about it made him want more and not just leave it at a kiss?

He kept holding (Y/N) close to himself as he kissed her a bit deeper, gently pulling her tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss a bit more. (Y/N) opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to enter. She let out a small sound as their tongues entwined with each other.

The math teacher couldn't help but let out a low groan of pleasure and contentment as he felt (Y/N)'s tongue in his mouth. He slowly and gently lifted her up and sat her on the desk, holding her back with one hand and using the other to keep cupping her cheek. She let out a surprised sound. She looked up at him, panting as they pulled apart.

He panted quietly in surprise and shock after they pulled apart. He took a moment to examine (Y/N)’s face, making sure to not miss a single detail. He looked down at her from where she sat on the desk, and the first thing he noticed was the lustful and needy look in her eyes.

He'd never expected her to have such a look. Her skirt had hiked up from how he had placed her on the table in the heat of the moment. The math teacher gulped, watching as her skirt started to ride up, revealing her knees, and even more. “(Y-Y/N)..." *He said in an almost shocked, but lustful tone.

"Mr. Shinazugawa," She breathed out, the love and passion for her teacher visible in her eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening, he finally felt a sense of being loved and accepted and desired, something that was new for him. He gently pushed the chair he was sitting in away from the desk as he moved closer to Lilli, the look in his eyes still one that was burning with lust and longing.

"Wh-What are we doing?" She asked, wanting to know what his next intentions were. She was a smart girl, she knew what his plan was.

"I don't know... We really shouldn't be doing this, but... I think I'll be making an exception this time..." The math teacher answered, leaning into (Y/N) and gently pressing soft, needy kisses onto her neck.

He moaned lowly against one of (Y/N)'s more sensitive spots on her neck, sending shivers down her spine and causing her to feel a spark of pleasure. He started to kiss and suck on that same spot, his warm and soft touch feeling comforting as he continued to mark her neck.

"Y-You can't leave marks," She whimpered, "someone will see it..."

He was hesitant, but he let out a little sigh and pulled away from her neck. "You're right... But that doesn't mean I won't mark up other parts of you." He placed another kiss on her neck before pulling back.

He gently brushed his fingers along her thigh, gently stroking her soft and heated skin. The math teacher got a sudden mischievous look in his eyes as a mischievous idea crossed his mind.

He slowly and gently caressed one of her thighs, rubbing small circles on it with his thumb. "You know... I never realized how soft your skin is." He whispered, his other hand gently tracing some of the other parts of her body. He slowly let his hands wander to the buttons of her blouse.

He quietly unbuttoned her shirt, letting out a small gulp himself. He still couldn't believe that this was happening, and he almost felt a sense of disbelief as the heat in the room slowly rose.

"You're sure you're okay with doing this?" He asked her as he gently helped pull her shirt over her shoulders.

"Are you okay with it?" She asked, her lavender colored bra finally exposed. She knew what he said earlier, and she’d hate for him to get in trouble if someone caught or heard the two of them.

The math teacher gulped and tried his best not to stare too hard but couldn't help but stare at her breasts. "I really am," He said, gently tracing her skin with the tips of his fingers, watching goosebumps rise up. He didn’t care about what he had said earlier.

“I’m glad you have this free period,” (Y/N) confessed as she shivered at his touch, “It can be just the two of us.”

"Although, what?" The math teacher asked, looking up from her chest and into her eyes.

“I… I’m still a virgin and… I don’t know how ready I’m feeling to go all the way.” She said, “It’s complicated, I want you to feel good too but…”

He was surprised by this confession, but didn't seem disappointed or upset.  "Don’t worry, I understand, and it’s okay... Why don't we work on making sure that you feel good for right now?"

He gently caressed her inner thigh and hummed in contentment. "Does that feel good?" He inquired as she nodded, his own pants becoming a bit uncomfortable as the heat in the room continued to rise. He could tell just by the look in her eyes that she wanted him, but he wanted to hear it.

He hummed and gently ran his fingers along the elastic band of her underwear, caressing her skin. "Just how needy are you?" He asked as his fingers teased her.

“A lot… b-but only for you.” She begged as he slipped off her panties.

His heart was racing and he felt himself getting more excited as he took off her underwear. He never thought he’d be in such a situation with anyone, much less his favorite student.

"Well I'm honored..." He mumbled as he gently traced his fingers along her most intimate area.

He hummed lowly as he felt her heat and wetness, the feel of her insides on his fingers felt exciting and new to him. “That didn't take much to get you so excited, (Y/N)."

He felt her tighten around his fingered, warm velvety walls full of her neediness, “M-Mr. Shinazugawa~” The look on her face showed out much it was affecting her, it was like she was drunk just from the feelings of his fingers. Was she this sensitive of a virgin?

He was a bit shocked by how sensitive and needy she already was. "You're already so tight and needy, (Y/N)," He whispered.

“A-Ah~!” (Y/N) moaned, tensing up a bit at the sensation, “P-Please…” She whined,

He kept teasing her sensitive bud, gently rubbing in small, slow circles. "Please, what?" He murmured in a teasing tone, wanting to hear her whine and beg more.

“Please, I want more,” She whined, wanting him to go faster. She could feel herself growing wetter as his fingers were able to move more easily.

"How much more? Do you think you deserve it from me?" *He inquired, continuing to tease her with his slow circles. He was getting a bit more excited himself, and felt a bit more comfortable about the whole situation now as he continued rubbing her sensitive bud. 

“A-Ah, oh no~” She said, closing her eyes tightly as she felt the coil in her gut wind tighter, knowing she was getting close. But she didn’t want to release yet, she wanted to keep going. She didn’t want this to stop, but she couldn’t already feel part of herself leaking out. “P-Please, I’m your best student.”

"Maybe you are my favorite student, you're so needy and sensitive already... I can feel you already leaking onto my fingers-" He said, moving his fingers faster and curling them ever so slightly.

“I’m gonna make a mess on the desk~” She moaned, trying to keep herself together.

He couldn't help but let out a seductive and sadistic chuckle as he listened to her needy moans. "You're going to make a mess, huh? Sounds like you need to be punished a bit..." He said as he began to move his fingers faster. 

“B-But I- Ah~!” (Y/n) cried out, her eyes shut tightly as she felt her body tense. The coil finally snapped and she could feel herself release in a gush on his fingers. Her legs twitched as he continued to play with her, overstimulation taking hold.

He grinned lowly, watching her release herself in a gush on his fingers. "That's the first punishment, my favorite student." He smirked as he continued to rub her sensitive bud, wanting to overstimulate her and make her feel more sensations. The math teacher enjoyed seeing her overstimulated, seeing her needy and sensitive reactions.

“Ah~ Mmm~” She said, having mixed feelings on the overstimulation. It was painful, but so good at the same time. She wriggled and bucked her hips into his hands as she craved more of the sweet, torturous, pleasurable feeling.

“Now, be nice and a good girl or your punishment will continue…” His other hand that had been holding her leg in place came and gently gripped onto her hip, not wanting her wriggling while overstimulated. He whispered as he slowed his rubbing, wanting to give her a little break while she overstimulated.*

“I-It feels soooo good~” She said, absolutely drunk of pleasure. So much for a punishment.

“You like being punished? Maybe I’m not being harsh enough…” He teased as he began to rub his fingers harder and faster once again, keeping his grip tightly on her hip.

“A-Ahh~!” She cried out, “Mr. Shinazugawa~ More! I promise I’ll be a good student~ I always have been~”

"Oh? Always have been a good student?" He murmured. He said as he stopped to gently pull away his hand, pulling it out of her skirt. He couldn’t help but smirk as he listened to her beg and whine for more. “I guess you deserve a reward then…”

(Y/N) cried out once more as she came for a second time, making yet another mess on Sanemi’s desk. Finally, he pulled his fingers out before licking them clean. (Y/N) seemed to be in too much of a daze as she tried catching her breath.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Sanemi said, figuring she was far too tired to continue any further. But he planned to come back to this later on, and you knew it too.

[ashwhowrites]

could you do a Robin fic where reader forgets her diary at Robin's house after a sleepover (they're childhood best friends) and Robin decides to take a peek when she sees what reader wrote about her and all the things reader wants Robin to do to her, and then Robin does those things to her. Idk if this is a good request so if you don't like it don't do it. Anyways, love your fics!! 🩷

I love my baby Rob

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Dear diary

YN and Robin had been best friends for years. They met in elementary school and haven't been apart since. They told each other everything and nothing was a secret when it came to each other. Except for one little thing, Y/N never told Robin. Y/N never came out to Robin or told her she was in love with her. Y/N knew Robin liked girls, she knew before Robin told her. Y/N wished she had come out when Robin did, but she was scared.

Watching Robin grow into an attractive and mature woman was hard for Y/N. She always wanted to call it a small school crush, but it was past the crushing level.

Y/N didn't have other friends she wanted to share the information with, so she wrote it in her diary.

After the sleepover Y/N had with Robin last night, she had a lot to write about. She unpacked her bag and kept an eye out for her diary. She felt panic seep in her bones when the bag was empty and the diary was nowhere to be seen.

~

"I'm always amazed by how blue her eyes are. It gets hard to follow what she says because she is so distracting."

"We watched another movie tonight. It was her pick so I didn't understand the movie. But I loved listening to her reviews."

"We walked through the rain and I only thought about kissing her."

"I need to stop buying her rings. It's getting too attractive."

"I love the way she holds my hand through the store."

"I love it when she picks on Steve, sometimes he deserves it."

"I wish she'd kiss me."

"I wish she'd rent a horror film and let me hide in her arms. Baby me and slip me on her lap and take my breath away with her body."

Robin slammed the diary shut as she felt guilt rushing through her. She knew all of her best friend's deepest thoughts. Stuff she never guessed Y/N thought about. But Robin couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach. Her best friend liked her, and really liked her.

Robin chewed at her bottom lip as she weighed out her options. She wasn't sure if she should admit she read it or not. Would Y/N be pissed?

Yeah, probably Robin! You read about her secret crush on you

Robin jumped as she heard the phone ring. She set the book down on her bed and walked out to the kitchen. She answered and tried to keep her breathing normal.

"Hey Rob, did I leave a book there?" Y/N asked, nervously chewing on her nails. She hoped Robin didn't open it, or noticed that it was a diary not just a book.

"Um yeah, it...was on my floor! Yeah right there on the floor. Do you want me to bring it to school tomorrow? Or I could bike there right now. I think it might rain but I ha-"

"Tomorrow is fine, Rob. I'll see you in the morning," Y/N laughed as she hung up. She was used to Robin's rambles so she didn't think twice about it.

"I'm fucked," Robin said to herself as she slammed the phone on the wall.

~~~

Robin burned fire on her driveway as she paced. Y/N would be here any moment and Robin was horrible at seeming nonchalant. Her brain kept seeing the words written on the paper.

Robin took a deep breath as Y/N pulled up. She got in the car and tried to focus on being calm.

"Morning, Rob" Y/N said with a smile

Robin sent her a smile and handed over the book. Robin felt her stomach get tight as Y/N looked up and stared into her eyes. Was she thinking about how blue they were?

"What is it? It doesn't have a title or anything" Robin asked, not sure if she was making herself suspicious or in the clear

"Like a little journal. Nothing important in it," Y/N shrugged and tossed it in the backseat.

Robin nodded and left it at that.

~~~

Now that Robin knew about the crush, she wanted to do something about it. She has had a crush on Y/N since she could remember.

"Horror? for Y/N? Since when?" Steve asked as Robin checked out the film.

"She happens to want to watch one," Robin said, as she rolled her eyes. "Which I know because I'm her best friend. Just two girls watching a movie...together as friends. Sure, we might hide under a blanket but it's all just as friends!"

"You okay?"Steve asked, he eyed Robin with suspicion. He watched as her face got red and she stuttered a little more.

"What is with the investigation? It's a movie date! Not a date! It's not a date, just a movie with a friend"

"Movie with a friend sounds fun," Steve said, still worried about the girl as she raced out of the shop.

~

Robin might have covered her fingers in pretty rings. And she might have applied a clear gloss and sprayed perfume on her neck.

"Steve recommended this movie so I thought we should give the dingus a shot to be right for once," Robin said as she clicked play on the film. Both girls under the same blanket as Y/N picked at the bowl of popcorn.

Y/N laughed at the dig at Steve, but she was excited it was a horror film.

As the movie played, the closer Y/N got to Robin's warm body. The bowl of popcorn was moved to the table as Y/N launched herself into Robin's arms and hid her face in her neck.

Y/N silently purred to herself as she smelt the perfume on her skin. She smelled addicting.

"You don't have to be scared, I got you, sweetheart." Robin cooed as she wrapped her arm around Y/N.

Y/N felt her heart race, she could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

"Thanks," she whispered shyly

"Just a movie, I'll protect you," Robin said, she looked down but couldn't see her face. "Would you want to...sit in my lap?"

Robin felt herself hold her breath as the question hung in the air. She prayed Y/N wouldn't think too hard and connect the dots.

Before Y/N could answer, Robin's arms were already yanking her over. Y/N felt her stomach flutter as she slipped on Robin's lap. She sat face to face with Robin, the movie lost in the background.

"What are you doing?" Y/N whispered, her eyes lost in the ocean blue of Robin's eyes.

"Taking your breath away," Robin whispered as she leaned in

Y/N felt pounding in her chest...and in between her legs as Robin cupped her face. The coldness of her chunky rings sent shivers down her spine.

Y/N held her breath as Robin closed the space between them. Her glossy lips were delicately pressed against hers. Y/N moaned as she kissed Robin back. Y/N's arms moved up to wrap around Robin's neck, deepening the kiss.

Robin kept one hand on her face and the other one moved down Y/N's back and slipped underneath her shirt. The feeling of Y/N's bare skin on her hand made Robin burn with desire.

Robin licked Y/N's bottom lip, asking to take the kiss to another level. Y/N happily agreed, opening her mouth as their tongues touched.

Y/N couldn't help but rock her hips against Robin, her hands moved into Robin's hair. She yanked and tugged as Robin growled.

Needing air, they pulled back. They panted as they looked at each other. A shy smile on Robin's face as Y/N looked shocked it all happened.

"I read your diary. I know that it was wrong, but I read too much. I know you like me and I like you too. I'm sorry for invading your privacy but I couldn't ignore what I read. I've liked you for so long and never had the right words to say." Robin explained, still a little breathless.

"I feel like I should be mad, but I got what I wanted." Y/N smiled

"I've always wanted to kiss you too," Robin confessed, her thumb softly pulling on Y/N's bottom lip.

"What do we do now?" Y/N asked

"I ask if you want to be my girlfriend? I think? I'm not sure most of Steve's stories end at the kiss and he doesn't see them again." Robin said

"Girlfriend sounds perfect," Y/N smiled

They shared a smile before their lips smashed together.

Maybe Y/N should leave her diary around more often.

[peachhcs]

i need a blurb of will and samy arguing or something when they were younger, especially if they didn’t really get along.

OMG yes i wanna say their peak dislike for one another was probably when they were between 11-13 because middle school i feel like is when you’re your worst self so those two years will and samy did a lot of arguing over the smallest things.

au masterlist

“will, move. you’re in my seat,” samy grumbled when she came to the table with her bowl of cereal. the blonde was sitting on the left end exactly where the youngest hughes liked to seat herself.

“no, i got here first,” will mumbled.

“no, move. this is my seat,” samy said and the older siblings all stayed silent as they watched the exchange unfold.

“it’s not “your” seat. it’s a chair. sit there,” will pointed to the last open seat at the table on the other side. the brunette eyed the space before eyeing the blonde back.

“it’s my seat. i’ve always sat there. you can’t just disrupt the balance,” the brunette argued. everyone knew that the seats you chose when you were younger were the seats you’d always sit at and they didn’t change.

“who the hell cares about a balance?” will rolled his eyes. “hey, language,” grace cut in and eyed her younger brother.

“just move! it’s not that hard to pick up your feet and sit over there!” samy was getting mad and annoyed because she wasn’t in the mood for any of this.

“and it’s not that hard to just sit over there. you’re being a baby.”

“whatever,” the girl grumbled and sat there because she had no other choice. the others just exchanged glances and chose not to say anything because they didn’t wanna add any fuel to the fire.

—

later that day, samy was frantically searching for her journal (because what 12 year old doesn’t have a diary they write every secret in). it seemed to be missing and she swore she put it back in her desk the other day when she was finished. she searched every one of her drawers, but there was nothing.

the girl stomped out of her room to go interrogate her brothers when she passed by luke’s room. will was in there and the purple cover flashed in his hands. samy’s eyes widened as she stopped in her tracks and saw will reading her journal in plain sight.

“will!” she screamed and raced into the room. the blonde quickly jumped up before she could lunge at him, a smirk on his features.

“looks like someone lost their diary, huh?” he taunted, holding it above her head.

“you freak! you stole it!” the brunette yelled, jumping up but coming short every time to snatch it back from him.

“i didn’t steal anything. you left it out. that’s not stealing,” the blonde shrugged and samy basically screamed in his face.

“that’s an invasion of privacy! there’s private things in there!” she jumped and every time, will pulled the journal back so it was just out of her reach.

“you wrote that you have a crush on..henry? who’s henry?” will continued teasing.

“shut up! you freak!” their yelling caused quinn and grace to come up the stairs and investigate what was going on. the eighteen and fifteen year old stared at their two younger siblings going at it in shock.

“quinn! he took my journal!” samy yelled when she saw her brother in the doorway.

“i did not! she left it out! it’s not taking if someone leaves it out!” will defended himself and quinn really couldn’t wait until he didn’t have to live through another pre teen phase or whatever this was.

“will, give it back,” grace crossed her arms.

“ugh, whatever. you guys are no fun,” the blonde shoved it back into the girl’s hands. samy snatched it and then gave the hockey player a nice shove where he practically stumbled over.

that definitely fueled will’s annoyance because he spun around and went to lunge at the brunette. quinn quickly stepped in and held will back before someone got hurt.

“guys, quit it. samy don’t shove him. you both need to apologize,” the older brunette mumbled.

“me? he took my journal! he deserved it!” the younger girl shrieked.

“apologize. now. both of you,” quinn’s big brother voice came out and the two stilled for a moment. they both rolled their eyes.

“i’m sorry for taking your journal,” will crossed his arms.

“sorry for shoving you,” samy mumbled.

“thank you. now leave one another alone please,” quinn said and left the room. grace eyed her brother before leaving too and the blonde rolled his eyes again.

samy stormed out, bumping into will’s shoulder on the way out.

—

“you started it!” samy exclaimed as will followed her back into the house.

“i did not! you cheated!” he shot back.

“cheated? you watched me get all of those in. how did i cheat?” the brunette argued.

“i don’t know but you have a track of cheating in everything,” will sneered and the girl’s mouth dropped open. luke and jack were in the kitchen eyeing the two arguing.

“you’re just a sore loser. sorry,” samy rolled her eyes.

“now what are you guys arguing about?” jack mumbled. it was the 3rd summer of samy and will being in their arguing phase and everyone really hoped it was the last summer too.

“i scored 3 points against will in 1v1 basketball and now he’s all mad at me because he thinks i cheated. he’s just a sore loser,” the youngest hughes explained while will rolled his eyes.

“i was going easy on her.”

“oh fuck off you were not.”

“language,” jack cut in, eyeing his little sister.

“how many more weeks do we have left with him?” she poked her thumb in the blonde’s direction where he just stuck his tongue out at her.

“when are you guys gonna start getting along? you’ve argued with one another every single summer,” luke rolled his eyes.

“when he stops coming around here,” samy mumbled.

“yeah, good luck with that,” jack said.

“i only come here to hang out with luke and jack. my mom pays me $5 if i hang out with you,” will narrowed his eyes and samy whipped her head back in his direction.

“what?!”

“he’s joking. colleen doesn’t do that,” jack quickly cut in before they started arguing again and eyed will to quit it. the younger boy just shrugged.

“well either way, i can’t wait until you leave,” the brunette said and left the kitchen. will huffed and left too leaving jack and luke in the again. the brothers exchanged a glance wishing this moody pre teen phase would be over soon.

[wisteria-lodge]

Speaking of Tom's parents why does Tom hate his father when it's his mother who tainted his blood by being with Tom Sr? The reason he became a halfblood was because of her, her bloodline was even among the best, although the Gaunts have fallen they are still part of the sacred 28 and Slytherin's bloodline. But why not blame his mother? (Ignoring the if Merope didn't do that to Tom Sr Tom Jr won't exist anyway) or is this because of JKR's mother's can't do wrong and are the best bs?

I mean, Tom does also hate his mother. Back when he's an orphan who doesn't know anything about his parents, he primarily hates his mother, because he resents her for dying, and has convinced himself that she must be a muggle because she died?

“Was my father a wizard? He was called Tom Riddle too, they’ve told me. (...) My mother can’t have been magic, or she wouldn’t have died,” said Riddle, more to himself than Dumbledore.

Tom does some research, and tracks down both the Gaunts and the Riddles, and I have to imagine that in both cases he is... kinda disappointed? But he also steals the Gaunt ring and makes it into a Horcrux. So it's like he's *claiming* this family heirloom. It's his now, not theirs. He is the REAL gaunt heir.

(Tom has a FASCINATION with heirlooms, and enjoys low-key stealing them away from their original families. We see him go to a LOT of trouble to get his hands on Hepzibah Smith's Hufflepuff heirloom, the Slytherin locket, and Ravenclaw's diadem. I also think that if he was planning on making his sixth and final horcrux with Harry's death, the object he was planning to turn into a soul-container was almost certainly Gryffindor's sword.)

We see Tom's pattern of kill the relative, keep the legacy when he murders his father and paternal grandparents... but keeps the house. Other families move in, but quickly move out. It's very possible he cursed it like he cursed the Defense position - this thing SHOULD have been his, but isn't, and if he can't have it no one else can. Circa Book 4 the house stands empty, and the official story is it's kept vacant by a wealthy man for "tax reasons." Honestly I think it would be hilarious if Lucius technically owns it, but either way, Tom clearly has control of and USES the Riddle house. He finds his family and absorbs anything about them that he finds cool or impressive. Then, deletes all the aspects he doesn't like (his father's name, his father's looks, the family members themselves...)

This is the point where he makes the diary, and frames the situation like this:

You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father’s name forever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my mother’s side? I, keep the name of a foul, common Muggle, who abandoned me even before I was born, just because he found out his wife was a witch?

and then, as an adult:

My mother, a witch who lived here in this village, fell in love with him. But he abandoned her when she told him what she was. . . . He didn’t like magic, my father . . . He left her and returned to his Muggle parents before I was even born, Potter, and she died giving birth to me, leaving me to be raised in a Muggle orphanage . . . but I vowed to find him . . . I revenged myself upon him, that fool who gave me his name . . . Tom Riddle. . . .

Which is definitely... a way to interpret what actually happed, Tom.

What this says to me is that he's locked onto Merope pretty much by default. She's the only family member he's never met, and so he can't be as viscerally repelled by her as he is by his father, grandparents, and uncle. But I imagine he probably does think she was weak for dying, weak for having her head turned by a handsome muggle, and for loving him enough even after he left to name her son after him. Tom is not a terribly well-adjusted person.

I actually think it's harder to find people who he DOESN'T hate. Even when he plays the charmer during his Borgin and Burkes' era, he doesn't LIKE any of these people. Slughorn he might respect a little... but probably mostly sees him as pathetic and easily manipulated. Dumbledore scares him. (Dumbledore also gives Tom a hard time for calling his Death Eaters "friends.") And when it comes to his "slippery friend" Lucius, and even Bellatrix... Tom thinks they're stupid and careless:

"It would be prudent to alert Snape to the fact that the boy might try to reenter the castle . . . To tell Snape why the boy might return would be foolish, of course; it had been a grave mistake to trust Bellatrix and Malfoy: Didn’t their stupidity and carelessness prove how unwise it was ever to trust?"

I am sure there are some fantastic Bellatrix/Voldemort fics out there, but I do think as a *canon ship,* it's really hard to make it work without leaning into the toxicity BIG time. He doesn't respect her, and bullies her for fun. That might be why she's just absent from the Cursed Child, even though she's MASSIVELY important to the plot. It was just too hard to do an on-screen canon Bellatrix/Voldemort interaction.

Barty Crouch Jr. seems to be the only person who Voldemort actually LIKES, and actually TRUSTS (even snape, he only like... half-likes, and half-trusts.) It is baffling there are only 47 Barty Crouch jr./Voldemort works on AO3. This is how he talks about Barty when he's plotting his return:

"By that time, my faithful servant will have rejoined us — (...) I need somebody with brains, somebody whose loyalty has never wavered"

And this is how he talks about him to the assembled Death Eaters:

"one, who remains my most faithful servant, and who has already reentered my service (...) it was though his efforts that our young friend [Harry] arrived here tonight...

and this is how BARTY talks about HIM

“My master came for me (...) My master had found out that I was still alive (...) my master knew that I was still his faithful servant — perhaps the most faithful of all (...) He needed me. He arrived at our house near midnight. My father answered the door.” The smile spread wider over Crouch’s face, as though recalling the sweetest memory of his life. (...) “It was very quick. My father was placed under the Imperius Curse by my master. (...) And I was released. I awoke. I was myself again, alive as I hadn’t been in years.” (...) “He asked me whether I was ready to risk everything for him. I was ready. It was my dream, my greatest ambition, to serve him, to prove myself to him."

like... I'm just saying. Barty calls him "Master" every other sentence.. And the DADDY issues here? off the chart! Barty was mind controlled by his cold, abusive neglectful father and then RESCUED by Voldemort?

"I will be honored beyond all other Death Eaters. I will be his dearest, his closest supporter . . . closer than a son. . . . The Dark Lord and I (...) have much in common. Both of us, for instance, had very disappointing fathers . . . very disappointing indeed. Both of us suffered the indignity, Harry, of being named after those fathers. And both of us had the pleasure . . . the very great pleasure . . . of killing our fathers to ensure the continued rise of the Dark Order!”

There's just so much here!!! why are there 6,676 works shipping Barty Jr./Evan Rosier, and 1,618 shipping Barty Jr./Regulus Black, but everyone is sleeping on toxic daddy issues D/s Barty Jr./Tom Jr.???

(this post... may have gotten away from me a little, I apologize.)

[memoirofasparklemuff1n]

no body, no crime- r.c. x reader

chapter 2- dear diary,

summary: three years after your disappearance you return to the outer banks, only with no recollection of your time away. now that you're back, weird things start happening and everyone seems to be hiding secrets. the nightmare is far from over.

warnings: 18+ MDNI not because of this chapter but for the story in general <3

a/n: this took so unnecessarily long fml, i said i'd go to sleep at 10 pm... it's 2 fucking am. anyway, tyyy to @sematarygirls for inspiring me with gone girl <3

masterlist

swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.

i took a deep breath and was met with the ocean scent so characteristic of home. i opened my eyes and was met with a white ceiling. looking around i could see that i was out in the terrace on a beach chair with my mom, sister and wheezie staring at me with wide eyes.

“are you ok?” eleanor asked. i sat up, slowly while nodding.

“yeah, i’m ok. what happened?” i laughed nervously. they all exchanged looks but my mother was the one that answered.

“we were in the kitchen and you were eating and then you fainted.” oh. right. shit.

“oh, yeah. sorry about that,” i looked down at my hands nervously.

“honey, you don’t need to apologize, ok? it’s not your fault. besides the doctor said you were still in a fragile condition from the accident. i think we should go tomorrow—”

“No.” I cut her off, and it came a bit sharper than i intended. I softened my tone and squeezed her hand, “I’m ok, mom. The doctor told me this could happen because I’m anemic, remember?” She frowned but nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. I still want to be cautious, alright. Just in case.” I saw that she was scared and i hugged her.

“El? Can you bring me some water, please?” I pulled away from my mom and sat back again.

“Sure.” She went into the kitchen and Wheezie followed her, probably because she felt weird being around me and i honestly didn’t blame her.

“Honey. I know this is too soon, you’ve only been back for a few weeks and its your first day here but I have to know,” she said. Fuck, i Knew what was coming and i didnt know what to say so i stayed silent.

“what happened? Did you run away? Please tell me it was that because i cannot bear the thought of someone causing you harm. Please, I need to know.” Her tone had turned desperate and my heart clenched. I didn’t know what to say but before I could answer, Eleanor came with my water with a frown, sensing the tension in the air.

the front door bell rang and the four of us turned to each other as if we had any clue. my mom stood up and said that she’d get it so now it was only the three of us.

“Wheezie?” I asked. She looked up from her hands and raised her eyebrows, “Yes?”

“How is Sarah?” Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to respond but a voice interrupted her.

“Right behind you.” I froze and then turned. Sarah Cameron, right here in the flesh with a huge smile on her face and before i could say something she rushed to me and enveloped me into a hug that would’ve hurt much more if it had been a few weeks ago. I hugged her back tightly and we both started sobbing and laughing because we couldn’t get our words out fast enough.

“I missed you so much, star. Don’t ever do that again, please. I know its not your fault but still.” She pulled back and wiped my tears away when i did the same.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry,” it was starting to feel like that was all i could say now. i’m sorry.

“Ugh, forget it. We’ve all missed you so much, but the others couldn’t come because they’re working.” Her sobs had eased down and she couldn’t seem to stop touching my face as if committing it to memory.

“It’s ok. I get it, just let them know they can come whenever. I’ve missed you all so much, too” She laughed and nodded before hugging me again.

“Well, I came to see you and also for wheezie. Our dad wants us to come home for a family meeting,” she said mockingly and wheezie laughed. My mom and sister looked at the interaction silent but with amusement.

“Oh! I just remembered. We’re going to have a gathering at my house this weekend if you want to come. You’re all invited of course,” she smiled at us and we all nodded.

“Sure! That’ll be fun. Will the others be there?” I asked Sarah and she nodded. “Well, I think JJ might not be able to come but if you’re going i’m sure he’ll come for sure. He’s been kind of a mess since you…” Her voice trailed off and we all looked uncomfortable. Eleanor tried to lighten the mood by saying we should all have a sleepover and sarah agreed and said she’d tell Kiara and Cleo so we could all have a girls night, my mom included and she brightened up at that. it was obvious that she loved feeling included.

“My mom’s so cool, we’ll have the best sleepover,” I said with a laugh and they all joined in. Sarah then said she really had to go, but that she’d be back as soon as she could to spend time with me.

“Sure, have fun at your meeting!” that caused Wheezie and Sarah to leave with a groan which only made us laugh.

After they left we talked for a bit before i excused myself for bed, even though the sky had barely begun to darken. one of the perks of my current situation was that it gave me pretty much the ability to do anything i wanted. i entered my room and locked the door behind me before throwing myself on my bed. That’s when i felt something hard in the mattress. Huh. I lifted myself up again and jumped back and this time i felt it harder. I frowned, and got up. i looked beneath the mattress but there was nothing. I looked under the bed to see if whatever it was had fallen but no. wtf. i rolled my eyes and laid down again but there it was. i couldn’t take it anymore so i removed all of the bedding until the mattress was completely bare. i then pushed it to the floor and started pressing until i felt it.

“it’s stitched perfectly though, it makes no sense,” i muttered to myself. unless someone stitched it up. thank you, captain obvious. i sighed and looked around before walking to my vanity to see if there was something sharp enough to break through the mattress. I kept looking like a maniac until i stumbled across a pair of scissors in my closet. who keeps a pair of scissors in their closet? me, apparently.

i rushed to the mattress and pressed down until i found the same hard spot. I took the scissors and carefully cut along the stitching because i needed a bed to sleep in, of course. once i ripped enough of the stitching out i fit my hand through the opening and touched what seemed like a book. i pulled it out and when i opened it i saw the name ‘star’ written on the front page. the same name sarah had called me. my nickname. things were beginning to clear and i flipped the journal until it fell open on a page.

june 1, 2022. the year i disappeared.

oh shit.

heyyy, if you made this far tyyyy <3 it's still kinda shitty but it'll get better (i think)

rafe is almost here!! im so excited but we'll have to wait. lmk if you have any theories!!! do you think the nickname star is important or just random? ;)

dividers by: @yeossemble