#THANK YOU FOR YOU ASK SORRY I'M SO LATE

[14dayswithyou]

I'm going to be a little evil :3c /silly

*I have stolen all of their headwear, leaving only FROGGY HAT in his closet.*

"Boy it sure is chilly today. Don't forget to wear a scarf and a hat when you come pick me up, okay [REDACTED]?"

✦゜ANSWERED: I believe in froggy hat [REDACTED] supremacy 🖤🐸

He knew. Of course he knew. [REDACTED]'s security system alerted him the second you stepped foot into his apartment, and it took the dark-haired hacker almost all of his willpower not to rush home and see you. But alas, he had other matters to attend to and messes to clean up here. Things he couldn't risk putting on hold, lest he pay the consequences for them later.

So, [REDACTED] settles for watching you through his cracked phone screen as you try to sneak your way around his apartment. They didn't really understand why you felt the need to be so secretive; you knew your boyfriend would be out for the day, you had his spare keycard and access to the entire 14th floor, and [REDACTED] had made it explicitly clear early on in the relationship that everything he owned was yours completely. Nothing was off limits to you, and that included every inch of his living space.

...And even himself.

Curiously, they watch with keen interest as you quietly slide the door to his walk-in closet open and take in your surroundings once more — making sure that you really were alone in his dimly-lit bedroom. But barely a moment passes before you stride in with a newfound purpose, unzip your backpack, and begin to stash all of his caps and beanies inside.

Well, alright then. If you decided he no longer needed those items, then so be it. He was never one to deny you anything.

But in retrospect, you were honestly doing [REDACTED] a favour. He genuinely didn't really need those items in his possession anymore — especially considering how he had no real reason to conceal his identity from you after all these years of being together.

He could never forget about that pivoted moment in time when you opened up to your beloved hacker about his rather... intense need to watch over you 24/7. And after you had scolded him multiple times for stalking you from darkened corners and alleyways outside your apartment complex, [REDACTED] had all but tried to change his ways. To better themselves for you.

After all, you deserved nothing less.

Glancing back at his phone once more, [REDACTED] takes in every little movement you make as you continue to tuck away his belongings; down to the turn of your head and the flex in your muscles. Not a single twitch or glance goes unnoticed under his watchful gaze — and had the dark-haired man not been so enraptured by your ministrations — he surely would've noticed that it was just about time for him to start packing his tools up and head home.

Home, in time for the date you had planned for the evening.

But the way you purposefully moved around his closet had [REDACTED] in a trance. You were extremely methodical about the things you were swiping from his shelves; neatly packing away all of the headgear, earmuffs, and scarves on display (and even the ones hidden within the depths of his drawers!). Yet... One single item remained in the aftermath of your wake.

Atop one of the lone shelves in the corner, it sits, isolated from the rest of its kind. Worn out yet well loved; it was no more than a novelty item your boyfriend had originally won for you from a crane game. But even after their constant insistence that you should keep it, you rebutted it all by saying it'd look better on him instead — all while pushing the cute, froggy hat back into his hands with a teasing smile.

("If you keep bleaching your hair like that," his real name falls from your lips like sweet nectar, "All of your hair will fall out. When that happens, you can use this to keep your bald head warm!"

"...When that happens? Hmph. You're gettin' cheeky." With a smile of his own, your boyfriend reaches out to gently pinch your cheek. "I haven't touched m'hair in ages.")

So after watching you be so meticulous with the items you were "robbing", the hacker couldn't help but wonder what your main motive was. Why leave that silly, little frog hat alone unless... Did you want him to wear it? You knew [REDACTED] would never say no to you — let alone to a frivolous request — but admittedly, they did find it rather endearing to watch you put in all that effort just for him.

Just like how he used to be... Back before you opened the curtains of his life and brought sunshine into his heart.

Gone are the days of "Ren", when [REDACTED] had to snoop around your apartment just to get any sort of inclination of what your type and interests might be. No longer did [REDACTED] have to "borrow" some of your old clothing to keep himself company on lonely nights; to put them over his pillow and pretend like it was you he was holding close to his chest. He no longer had to steal your presents and tokens out of spite and jealousy — only to return them days later once they noticed how upset it made you.

Too caught up in reminiscing about the past, [REDACTED] had almost missed your swift getaway from his bedroom. Living up to your nickname, you glide down the staircase and across his foyer as if you sprouted angel wings on your back and stroll into the elevator, before closing the door and pulling out your phone.

And just like clockwork, [REDACTED]'s camera feed gets replaced by the bright red and green call buttons that shake and taunt him at the bottom of the screen — alongside the personalised caller photo of you smiling towards the sunset ocean with [REDACTED]'s jacket atop your shoulders. The dark-haired man leaves no room for pause before he's swiping his finger across the screen and eagerly anticipating the sound of your voice.

You greet him in that casual, nonchalant tone of yours, and [REDACTED] had to resist the urge to start recording the call — to save the addictive timbre of your voice for when he needs to hear it the most.

"Man... It sure is chilly today, don't you think?"

There's the familiar sound of tacky elevator music playing in the background, and part of [REDACTED] thinks you're purposefully calling him right now to let him in on your (not so) secret escapades... To let them know where you are.

Or perhaps you were already aware that he knows, if the way you were glancing up at the elevator camera was anything to go by.

Regardless, you don't give away any other telling signs as your beloved hacker watches you through the camera. Your bag is still carefully slung over a shoulder, while one of his old, black university caps received the pleasure of being fiddled with in your hand. Your voice returns once more, and it causes a grin to form on his lips.

"Don't forget to wear a scarf and a hat when you come pick me up, okay?"

There's a newfound teasing lilt in your tone, which has [REDACTED] latching on to your every word with bated breath and scrambling for a reply.

"'Course. Wouldn't miss our date for the world. 'N make sure y'stay warm too, angel." Without missing a beat, he easily takes his place in your little game. "Wouldn't wanna misplace your jacket 'n get cold now, would we?"

Your pixelated smile on the screen gives everything away.

You hear the unmistakable sound of [REDACTED]'s sports motorbike before you see it; watching the corner of your street as he appears from the darkness like a phantom.

And like the gentleman that he is, [REDACTED] doesn't make you stray far from the safety of the streetlamp either. The moment your boyfriend pulls up in front of you, one of his large hands reaches around your waist to draw you near (almost as if he'd gone years without being in your presence), while the other makes quick work of the latch of his helmet. In one swift motion, he pulls it off and rests it against the tank—

Only to reveal that cute, pastel green frog hat sitting atop his head.

He can't help but smile when you do; clearly pleased that he went through with your silly request. At that, you let out a low hum of appreciation as you lean against your boyfriend's chest, and [REDACTED] returns the favour by bending down and pressing a chaste kiss against the crown of your head as well.

"...Think y'could give this unworthy prince another kiss, love?" Your beloved boyfriend leans in closer until your lips are millimetres away from touching, "Otherwise I might stay cursed t'live in this froggy form forever."

[floweycidal]

hey op i know youre insane over flowey so i thought id share my brain with you

have we considered the chara parallels in undertale yellows neutral run? as in. how flowey is pissed that midway through the plan clover went back on it? how flowey probably said something that chara said in the moment frustrated? im ill.

HEY OP I KNOW YOU’RE INSANE OVER FLOWEY HAHAHA INSANE START /SILLY

ah, yes, yes! you've come to the right place. please, make yourself at home. i’ll handle your brain with the utmost care.

OUDHUHGH YUUUP, we've (me, myself, and i) absolutely considered all that. and more!

but see, i personally never thought that was all there is to it. it would’ve been far too facile, much too pat, to assume chara had just... snapped at him in their final moments. that they’d cursed his name, branded him a traitor, made their hatred crystal clear.

oh, how delightfully clean that would’ve been for him. because then he’d get his closure, wouldn’t he? an answer, wrapped up all pretty just for him.

"i betrayed them. they loathed me for it. the end."

HA! too polished for my liking. no thanks. closure is reserved for those who can find resolution. and flowey, my son who's got everything wrong with him, has never been one to receive that kind of accord. he doesn't get straightforward, not then, not now, not ever.

in my head, flowey woke up in that garden with gaping holes in his memory of the incident. not total oblivion—never that generous. instead, it was bits and pieces. just enough to know. enough to understand that it was his fault. his frailty. his failure that brought him to this point.

but chara's last moments? their final utterance? those are lost to him. gone. TORN.

he never gets that confirmation. or, more precisely… he doesn’t remember. can’t remember. mwhahaha…

what does spring to mind, however, is the terror. the detestation that wracked their shared body. the oppressive shame that pervaded every step he didn't take. 

but then... at the time... who was feeling what exactly? who blazed with fury, and who broke beneath it? did someone beg? did someone weep? was it him? was it chara? who was hating whom in those parting moments? the harder he tries to remember, the further it slips away.

and because flowey's never met a void he didn’t try to fill, he does what he’s always excelled at. he patches the blanks. projects, narrates. 

his guilt demands a story, and so he obliges. in his version, every foul emotion, every drop of vitriol, was aimed squarely at him. how could it not have been?

chara MUST have surely thought he was an idiot. a weak, cowardly, sniveling idiot. a pathetic creature who couldn’t even get one plan right. couldn’t even die properly!

the self-blame constricts him like a vice, and with every reset, the narrative grows more discordant. he doesn’t just wonder if chara felt let down, he KNOWS they did. feels "their" revulsion rooted in his stem, their disappointment rotting his petals from the inside out with every cycle.

when clover comes along, he's elated. this is his shot at a fresh start. a second chance. the perfect subject for redemption, for forgiveness by proxy. his very own moment to fix everything, to prove that he’s changed. gone were the days when any plan was doomed with him around. this time, he was going to make it work. are you looking, chara?

but when clover hesitates... wavers the way he once did... flowey FREAKS.

he doesn’t see clover anymore. he sees HIM. he doesn’t hear his own voice, either. he hears the chara he’s created. the version that exists only in the cruel theater of his own mind. the variation that would never absolve him. that would never understand. that would only revile him.

the words he chucks at clover are the same accusations he believes chara would have spat at him, the same venom he’s already used to poison himself.

the words fall into insignificance, though, because much like the first time, the plan fell apart regardless of whether he condemned asriel clover or not.

all he was left with now was his certainty. chara HATED him.

and they were right to.

[trashyshrew]

congrats on making it to the weekend!! after a long week i’m always in the mood for hurt/comfort, so maybe some hurt/comfort lawlight? feel free to disregard if this isn’t the vibe you’re looking for!

[laithraihan]

Ngl, I hate the way the MP100 fandom is treating artists, especially ones who dare drawing sensitive subject matters or anything deemed "controversial" by a specific (and rather annoying imo) subset.

I guess that is why I have been not much interacting with the fandom in general lately, and I am sorry for how others in this fandom have treated you.

I live by the famous quote that's set in golden letters on the outside of the "Wiener Seccession", a famous "clubhouse" of famous artists that fought against their art being censored (by our standards nowadays their art isn't even particularly outrageous): "Der Zeit ihre Kunst, der Kunst ihre Freiheit" (I am trying to freely translate this: "Each era its art, each art its freedom")

Like, ooohhh, I don't like Hermann Nitsch's blood paintings either, but I am an adult about them existing and being exhibited. I just don't look at them. I learned that as a child. To simply not look at stuff I don't want to see.

How do these people not learn such a basic and important principle?

Anyway, all the power to you and your awesome art ❤

Thank you for the kind message... I agree with everything you said. I do think some criticism I received was valid so I don't mean to dismiss that, but to be honest I didn't really look at most backlash I received to preserve my sanity lol (more specifically the sexual graphic ones) which... I believe is the right thing to do in general, to ignore the things that make you uncomfortable. To expect that everything must Never make us uncomfortable is a poor way of thinking & can easily lead to harm. Things have also been lacking creativity lately in general, because everything outside the norm is met with hostility, so I already found the fandom a bit boring for this reason. I usually abide by the mentality that it's ok to feel any emotion, but emotion shouldn't be a tool to control other people's content. Maybe it's because I deal with crazy religious parents so I can see the parallels between them & that subset of the fanbase, the need to have full control over an environment that clashes with a narrow worldview (not to mention the hypocrisy of what they allow & don't allow...) but rambling aside, I still have a pulse so I'm okay! I'm slowly recovering from other things & building my own site has been helping me express my thoughts more freely without fear, which I'm happy about.

[keri-mcberry]

Heya I were wondering

Lyla love flying and quidditch?

What is her role in quidditch? Seeker? Beater ? Guardian or keepers?

Yes, Lyla fell in love with flying the moment she got on a broom! In her Sixth Year, she joined the Hufflepuff Quidditch team as the Seeker! ✨ I like to think the Quidditch captains would be scrambling over themselves to recruit the MC, especially hearing rumors of them beating Imelda at her own flying courses.

@theinstagameremily Oooh, this was a good question, and it took me a while to decide! But I think Lyla and Imelda would be cute together 🥰 I love how Imelda is initially rude and arrogant towards the MC but slowly grows to respect them and open up more to them as their relationship progresses. Plus, I’m a sucker for Slytherpuff relationships if that wasn’t obvious already 🤭💚💛

[sloasis]

when they parallel chris asking eddie to stay and eddie saying he didn’t know he wanted him to, to eddie telling buck to stay and buck being in shock [extra connection being kim saying she was waiting for eddie to kiss her and him saying he didn’t know she wanted him to] this time around eddie is gonna know

OOOOOOOH YEAH , that parallel would be so good .. it continues on the trend of Eddie needing someone to tell him what they want and what they need because otherwise , he wouldn't have assumed that's what they really wanted .... The buddie kiss will definitely be the reversal , Buck being the one not being able to assume and know that what Eddie really wants and needs is HIM . That's gonna hit so hard

[valleymyristica]

Going back and reading through all those chapters are making me more excited for what is to come. Reading them all in succession is really making me see Peri's descent into madness manifest itself. I am itching to see what you have in store for the second part of What it Takes. Is he going to start breaking some rules? I am dying to know. I'm so looking forward to seeing the yandere's madness really consume him. Is he going to be the cause of Dale's demise?

Hihihi Yay! Oh, that makes me so happy to hear you say!

Knowing you reread What it takes and always look forward to what's to come And, Oh, is there is a lot of fun to come

He's just trying his best, you know?

Breaking Rules? Oh, what are you talking about Peri would never, he's no rule breaker He's doing his best!

Making Dev happy That's what he's doing Always doing Just, making Dev happy Don't worry about it hehehehe

Oh, Dale's demise Such a long wait it shall be But one day, he'll fall And it is sure to effect Peri Oh, I wonder how Dev would feel I wonder how Peri would feel All so much fun All so much dread All so much Let's hope it doesn't- We'll at least you got your head I sure do hope you guys will like the body-swap episode

[filialdisciple]

Can you please write something where Cheong Myeong dies but Tang Bo survives and navigates the loss of his taoist hyung? I really like your work and J hope you know amazing you are. Thank you 😊

⚠ main character death, tangcheong

»—————————–✄

"Isn't this view amazing, hyung-nim?"

Tang Bo watches as the sun falls behind the horizon, the warm colors of the sky cooling as night settles once again. The wind brushes against his hair and it comes to Tang Bo as easy as breathing to ignore the loneliness and loss that have carved out permanent spaces for themselves in his heart.

The Plum Blossom Sword Saint's funeral felt ill-fitting for a man whose sacrifice ended the increasing threat of the Demonic Cult. The affair was somber, attended only by the man's martial siblings and few select representatives from several other sects.

Standing among the sea of pink, Tang Bo's eyes remained dry as the hours went by with the crowd slowly decreasing until eventually all that stood between Tang Bo and Cheong Myeong were the empty silence and the cold, damp soil under which the man—what they could find left of him that is—rested.

A warm hand on his left shoulder pulls Tang Bo out of the haze he unknowingly found himself in. He turns around and, in a voice that fell flat even to his ears, greets, "Sect Leader Cheong Mun."

The older man has clearly seen better days. Red-rimmed eyes, slightly unkempt hair, and more lines on his face than when Tang Bo saw him last, clearly the man had not taken the death of his younger brother well. He was the only one who could pull Tang Bo away from Cheong Myeong's gravestone.

The trek back to the Sect Leader's residence was filled with a sense of disquiet; their mutual grief made it difficult to break the invisible wall between them.

Cheong Mun has Tang Bo sit in front of him as he pulls out a small chest of letters. With slightly unsteady hands, the man hands him a letter from Cheong Myeong. It was part of the pile of written messages that Cheong Myeong left on the Sect Leader's desk before he left Mount Hua with no other explanation.

Six months. Cheong Mun prayed for Cheong Myeong's return. He had sent out multiple missives and personal letters to various major and minor sects in the hopes of catching Cheong Myeong and bringing him back to their sect. Instead, what returned was rumors of one man single-handedly tearing through the Demonic Cult's ranks.

And, at the end of those six months, all that returned of Cheong Myeong after the Demonic Cult finally fell silent was news of his death and the broken shards of his sword.

Tang Bo could recall the moment with vivid clarity as Cheong Jin, devastating grief marring his features, fell to the ground in front of Cheong Mun and a visiting Tang Bo. His hands bled with how he clutched at the pieces of Cheong Myeong's broken swords and the burnt green ribbon that was stained in dried blood.

The sharp clack of Cheong Mun's chest closing draws Tang Bo away from those memories.

His eyes shift down to the letter, without even reading it, he could tell that Cheong Myeong had written it in a rush. The words that marked the letter as his sprawled across the page with some letters having been smudged in the haste it was written. These were all but Cheong Myeong's last words to him. He wants to read it. He doesn't want to read it.

Cheong Mun silently slides him a letter opener. Tang Bo knows the man also wants to know what had been written for Tang Bo. Cheong Mun's letter was filled with gratefulness and apologies from Cheong Myeong. There were no explanations from him. They hoped Tang Bo's letter would give them more clarity.

Trembling as his eyes passed over the words, Tang Bo's breath is pulled out of his lungs as if he had been struck by a painful punch. The paper in Tang Bo's hands crumples before it flutters uselessly to the ground—and with it, any doubts that Tang Bo had about his hyung-nim's actions leading to his death.

I was promised a life for a life. Tang Bo, I hope this time you live well. Travel the world for me.

Tang Bo's eyes fall shut and when he reopens them, he returns to the present. A beautiful view that greets him and him alone. In another lifetime, Tang Bo would have really liked seeing this view with Cheong Myeong.

[knobe07o]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy (with intent to recruit you)

I SHALL JOIN THE ARMY!!!!!!

[ginsays]

Hi! I discovered you recently and I really adore your art style. Now I'm really curious, what's the rest of the party like? I'd assumed Gregory was another PC, but you mentioned he's an NPC in an ask and now I'm not sure who's who and what.

Hi!! Ahh this message is so kind 😭💞 Thank you for being so curious about our party!

Our campaign is really NPC heavy (because that's how we like it and our DM is really creative) so although our party also has a lot of fun interactions themselves, I'm more often than not drawing PCs along with NPCs!

The Player Party is Aisling, Linwen, and Elenor:

This is gonna get a little long, so I'll put their rundown and a list of the NPCs after the read more :3

Aisling is my PC (Druid/Wizard) so obviously I draw him a lot and y'all probably already get his vibe (loud, annoying, fussy, but also extremely earnest and trying his best).

Linwen and Elenor have similar haircuts but Linwen is microscopic (he's just a little guy) and Elenor is very tall (proficient in intimidation).

Linwen (Cleric/Warlock) is "despite all his rage he's still just a rat in a cage" as a person, but also trying very hard to be good and polite. He's grappling with more severe memory loss than the rest of the party -- he thought he was a completely different guy for the first half of our story so far, it was wild!!

Elenor (Wizard/Sorcerer) ... is a regular human being but would probably more likely be described as an alien from another planet. She's also an escaped prisoner convicted of forbidden knowledge crimes. She is extremely serious, humorless, and self-serving and consequently says the FUNNIEST things at the WEIRDEST times. I hope she never learns or changes anything about herself.

Here is a shorthand for our party dynamic from a modern AU holiday special oneshot we did:

As for the NPCs, our campaign is set in a pan-Soulsborne setting so we have cameos from those games as well as our DM's original characters. Just by way of who we've wound up spending the most time with most of who I draw are OCs, but there's some Elden Ring characters as well. I'll mark them with an asterisk.

Bael, Gregory, Roderika*

Saoirse (Aisling's twin), Witch Renna* (Aisling's Mom--I mean Mentor), Hyetta*

The Confessor, The Inquisitor (Inquirer, in the AU), Eurion (this is the guy Linwen thought he was!)

Blaidd* (I've only drawn him in the AU where due to universe constraints, he's not a half-wolf), Lanya*, Diallos*

Briar (a very special fox), Bramble (a very specific weasel), and Walter (who we've only met in the modern AU oneshot actually LOL but he's important to Elenor's backstory)

Aaaand I think that's everyone I've drawn so far. There's a couple other NPCs that we're fond of/are very important to the story that I haven't drawn yet, though!

Special mention to Benjamin (Aisling's dog) ((Honestly at this point Gregory's dog)), Ember (Bael's familiar), and Elenor's skull chalice she wouldn't let go of and was more protective of than her actual party for a while. It is nicknamed Walter as well.

[causeimanartist]

hey!! i just wanted to tell you that i really love your art! in fact, your batman/dc art was a major part of what got me into dc as a whole (if it wasn't the inciting incident on its own lol)!! i love your bruce in particular—it's hard not to when YOU clearly love him.

wishing you the best in all regards but particularly health, rest, and creativity (those can be hard to come by sometimes)

Aaah thank you so much!! It means so much to me to hear this 💙

[normal-about-the-dca]

Bday moon

Hope you had a good one!

AAAAAA THANK YOU!!!!! HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I wonder what's in the box? Another smaller Moon holding another smaller box?? With another even smaller Moon with an even smaller box inside???

It was a fun day!

[mel-loly]

ooo you can draw Oliver sprout as a pony for Halloween!!!! >:3333

Hey Hyia!!! Also- of course, here you go: ↓

Hope you like it and thank you so much for the idea!! :3💖

(If you have any ideas for something for me to draw for Halloween, please, share in private chat or reblog/comment here! Thank you!💛)

[residentialsinyomakai]

Yokai to Human Form Tidbit

Ok so there's human designs/ forms for Caspian's yokai friends 1, for fun, and 2, cause there's some situations where it's convenient/just better to have some in human forms (EX: Whisper coming to Caspian's choir concerts and conferences bc his parents are. fairly absent). Everyone has their own opinions on it and stuff and in this post I'ma talk about Baddinyan's!!

So fun little fact he does Not Like being human. This is mostly for body dysphoria adjacent feelings, like all of a sudden he has different hair, no fur, different ear placement, etc. The 'phantom limb' thing tends to happen with his tails, too, which is trippy and kinda uncomfortable. He also hates that a lot of his senses are dulled. smell, hearing, sight (especially in the dark), it makes everything feel kinda hazy and causes him to be a lot more stressed about everything.

Idk maybe I just think it's kinda funny to see a character thrown into a whole new form and reasonably be like. what. the hell this sucks. His easygoing (nice way of me saying his lazy ahh) and usually pretty chill/surprisingly level-headed mood is def worsened when he's constantly feeling skin that doesn't technically belong to him. A form he shouldn't really have.

As a result, he's oftentimes irritable and anxious in this form, with some days being better than others. He typically avoids having to use it unless he needs to though, and refuses to take his glasses off for anything. Has to be bribed with a Chocobar to enma forbid go out in public. He's also less used to it than most due to his extreme aversion to it. He just hates it and everything is physically gross and cloudy and nothing's in the right place and he can't explain why.

Badude, on the other hand, doesn't mind being human! It feels more similar to his body than it does for Baddinyan, and is kind of a fun change of pace every now and then. He's Baddinyan's like. closest friend besides Caspian in this AU, so he's typically who's convincing him to not kill everyone in the room and/or take off the stupid leaf in public lol. Their convos can sometimes go like

"C'mon, it's just until we get outta the store. Don't get your non-existent tails in a twist-"

"Shut up and do nyot remind me right nyeow."

"(Oh it's like. that kind of day whoopsies) Mbmb, we can ditch these nerds and go look at the candy isle or somethin' for a bit..?"

He stinks at comforting people or anything like that but tries. Sometimes. idiots

I'm working on references, but all I have to say about their designs for now is vitiligo Black-Mexican Baddinyan and Mexican-Japanese Badude CANON!!! See you for now! :) Have a radtastical day out there, don't implode or get rocks thrown into your inbox!! (again for some of you...)

[dukeofthomas]

jason thinks he should be dead (sometimes he thinks he IS dead), he's just what crawled out of jason todd's grave but he IS jason todd why cant you see that im still the same person. but im not who i used to be and you have to accept i'm different now but i'm still the same bc i'm still your son and your brother and your friend but i'm not 15 anymore (but i am i never grew up i'm still stuck in that warehouse watching the seconds count down the joker is still laughing and i'm still in pain and broken and bloody and beaten and the warehouse is everything and i'm 15 i'm 15 i'm 15) i'm an adult now i'm not a sweet lil daddy's kid anymore i've grown up (i haven't. do you remember when i played with legoes? when we went to football matches togetehr? when you drove me to school and called me chum and smiled at me gently and put your hand around my shoulder and squeezed? i loved you.) when you look at me all you see is who i used to be, you don't see ME, you just see who i used to be and i can never measure up to that, i can never be as good or kind or gentle or loving as the ghost of me that lives in your brain, but when i look in the mirror my eyes are dead like a fish's and my corpse is still in the ground and i'm not breathing because my insides are decayed and gone but i'm still standing here like a zombie, like a bad dream, like a fraction of who i used to be because i'm dead and i'm 15 and i never grew up but i'm somehow still an adult and how dare you not see me for who i am because i'm still the same but i'm still different but aren't i your son? am i at least still your son? you took me in and you loved me and you cared for me and you were my father my god my everything? i'm still your son. i'm still your son. i'm still your son.

Do you love me? Can you prove you love me? Can you prove i meant anything and can you prove my death was real?

(I love you. Please say it back.)

[listard]

;) improved version! you guys are so fun to draw (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

i hope you're taking care of yourself! 🌼

and finally, after a few months, or a whole year? I finally got to this ask.... I don't want to bother you, but I just want to say thank you very much!!!!!!

I want your work of art to remain on this blog, thank you very much for your support and for the drawing :']

It's a pity that I was late, as always, and you've already left Tumblr...-

*Sigh...*