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timeagainreviews · 4 months

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The Twist of a Stiletto

Back in the ‘90s there was a very famous TV show. 120 Minutes, don’t act like you don’t know. But for those of you not in the know, “120 Minutes,” was a show on MTV hosted by Matt Pinfield. There were other hosts, but Matt was my guy. Being a showcase of music videos from artists MTV wouldn’t dare play during the day, it was relegated to a late Sunday evening timeslot. Growing up, I never really had a personal relationship with music. It was the stuff in the background of movies. My dad would play CDs of his faves. Kansas, Jethro Tull, Chicago, Led Zepplin, The Beatles. Music could be fun or cool, but I could take it or leave it. That is until April 14, 1996, when 120 Minutes aired Rage Against the Machine’s “Bulls on Parade,” and my 12-year-old brain erupted. A fire was lit inside me that day and Zach de la Rocha was more than happy to pour gasoline on it. I was suddenly, without any kind of warning, in love with music.

The spontaneous combustion of music hits us all differently, but I’m sure my story made you remember yours. How could it not? Music is a part of our lives. We wrap our memories in song. As such, some songs become painful. We then lock those songs in our past where they can’t hurt us, but a passing car with its windows down can bring us back. Music is personal. “The Devil’s Chord,” is a story about our relationship with music. How we hold music inside and when we let it out. It is a celebration of song as well as a lament. While the episode often achieves harmony, it also falls a bit flat. Are you picking up on a theme? Is this striking a chord with you? Ok I’ll stop. Probably.

I’ll get the obvious out of the way first. “The Devil’s Chord,” is precariously close to “The Giggle,” plot-wise. The TARDIS lands. The Doctor finds the world behaving oddly. He discovers it’s all to do with a magical gay American who chews scenery for breakfast. The American sends the Doctor through a themed gauntlet of insanity. The Doctor banishes the American using their own tricks against them. The American disappears with a warning about the next guy. Bish bash bosh. I’m getting that all out of the way ahead of time, because that would be a really boring article to read. But I will say this- if this is the Pantheon’s only gambit, I’ll be disappointed.

Ruby’s explanation of how she discovered the Beatles through her mum’s girlfriend’s vinyl collection was charming and didn’t make me feel old at all. Not to be all “kids these days only care about Tik Tok and Roblox,” but I was fairly certain most young people hate the Beatles. That is, if my Facebook feed is anything to go by. It really shows you just how on the pulse Russell T Davies is these days. Hello fellow kids. Have some trans inclusion while I court problematic people on social media. Kids like Deftones, Russell. Do a Deftones episode. Have the Doctor fight robot pigs with Chico Moreno. (Man, nü metal is having a moment in this article.) My point being, it’s weird to choose The Beatles now.

I harp on a lot about how metatextual Doctor Who can be and how it’s the secret of its longevity. They need to replace their actor? Regeneration. They need to get the Doctor into a building? Psychic paper. But I think I’ve found the exception that proves the rule. Russell T Davies said in an interview “...The Beatles music is so expensive. Even on a Disney budget, we couldn’t afford that…And so I thought imagine you’re visiting The Beatles, and you couldn’t have The Beatles music. What would you do? And that’s the story. It kind of created itself”. In true Doctor Who fashion, Russell T Davies saw a limitation and folded it into the narrative. It’s a shame then, that it doesn’t work at all.

It started with their shots of Abbey Road and EMI Studios. The zebra crossing at Abbey Road isn’t that wide. I’ve been there. And since when did EMI Studios have a red brick entrance? Where are its classic Georgian-style box frame windows? It’s one of the most visited tourist spots in London, and you’re not going to actually go there? You can’t get the music. Ok. That’s sort of understandable. But they couldn’t film on location? What exactly is the Disney budget doing here? Remember when they flew the whole TARDIS crew to Utah? And then the next season to New York City? They managed to shoo tourists and locals away from Umpire Rock. You mean to tell me they couldn’t hold back traffic on Abbey Road for a few hours? Hell, just composite it. Shoot it on a soundstage. You don’t have to go “Angels Take Manhattan,” when you could go “Daleks Take Manhattan.”

This may seem like a weird gripe from a person who said it would be boring to complain about how two episodes are similar, but it is the crux of the matter. Why use The Beatles in an episode about The Beatles if you do nothing with them? Why highlight edifice in a story about being vulnerable? Yes, the episode is predicated on the very idea of not having the rights to The Beatles music catalog, but this also denies the audience a payoff. Let me explain. Ruby and the Doctor get dressed to the nines to go back to 1963 and watch the Beatles record their first album. Great so far. They have a cute little moment with the tea lady while they sneak into EMI studios. Still great. However, as they roll record for the Fab Four, it’s immediately apparent that something is very wrong. The Beatles' music sounds awful. Like how I imagine my friends on Facebook think they sound all the time. And still, things are going great. What this does, however, is set up expectations for the moment when The Beatles' music is finally back in its full glory. I’ve seen the shot from the trailer of Ncuti in the recording studio full of smiling perfects. It’s gonna be high energy. What a payoff. Right?

The Doctor and Ruby also pop in to listen to Cilla Black lay down a track. It’s the same crappy atonal music that only a trans woman with a collection of circuit-bent instruments could love. Something is amiss. The Doctor and Ruby do a bit of digging. It’s time to go talk to The Shitty Beatles. This time, it’s more than a clever name. With as much respect as I can muster, these have got to be some of the worst Beatle lookalikes I’ve ever seen. Except Paul who was spot on as the real Paul McCartney before he died and 1966 and was replaced with Faul. See my 9-11 Truther Anti-Vaxx Birds Aren’t Real grouphat for more information. The Doctor takes Paul and Ruby takes John. George and Ringo get zero lines, which tracks with history. They learn that both Paul and John don’t actually know why they play music. It feels silly, really. They should just pack it up. But something deep in them is still drawn to music, even if what comes out is a song about a dog that was only slightly better than “Rocky Raccoon.” But before they can slap them out of it like John with his first wife, they’re interrupted by visions of the Maestro.

Enter Jinkx Monsoon, who actually opens the episode but I’m using time travel to talk about things as they become relevant. Now, before they were cast in Doctor Who, I knew nothing about Jinkx Monsoon. I know she was on Drag Race, but I don’t watch that shit. No shade if you do. Ru Paul is totally not problematic and has never done anything weird. Everything I skimmed in Jinkx Monsoon’s Wikipedia page indicates they’re pretty cool. They relish in the role in a way that will make midwest dads shift in their chairs, and I’m here for it. They’ve got an oral fixation that’s impossible not to notice. When they eat the music from Timothy Drake’s soul, they let out a moan that sounds a lot like a climax, and not in the musical sense. Also, how sad is it for Tim Drake that he’ll never meet Batman? RIP Robin. 1925 was too early. Speaking of 1925, isn’t it interesting that the Maestro appears right around the same time as the Toymaker sold the Stooky Bill puppet to Charles Banerjee? Is there some significance with that year? Handily, no World Wars were happening at the time. The Scopes Monkey Trial occurred. Babe Ruth received surgery for an ulcer. They broke ground on defacing Mount Rushmore. But really, kind of tame considering the bookends of the era. The Lorcano treaty was doing a lot of the heavy lifting though.

The Maestro’s whole deal is a sort of crazed sense of ownership over music. To hear them describe it, music belongs to them. They are music. In this way, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn’t song and dance people to death. It’s nice to be surprised. I rather liked their motivation. Monsoon doesn’t need to do a whole lot of acting. It’s all very panto. Very drag. It’s the kind of performance you hope you get. I’m not saying it’s a bad performance, just an elevated one. Both Jinkx and Ncuti get a chance to overact a bit in this story. Once again, I don’t mean overact in a bad way. David Tennant is the biggest overactor in Doctor Who save for Soldeed in “The Horns of Nimon,” and he’s consistently voted favourite among Doctor Who fans. Add “tendency to overact,” to the pile of personality traits I’m beginning to love about the Fifteenth Doctor. I love it when the Doctor really sells the energy of a scene, even if it requires him to speak forlornly into the middle distance.

Attempting to get the world’s groove back, the Doctor has a piano hoisted to the roof of a building. This is, of course, a reference to The Beatles’ final public performance from the rooftop of Apple headquarters in Central London. Only instead of Billy Preston on the keys, it’s Ruby Sunday. As she plays a Ruby original, the inhabitants of neighbouring buildings begin to shake out of their fog as music descends on them like sunshine. It even inspires a granny played by Doctor Who legend Laura June Hudson to dust off her piano to play Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.” It’s a lovely moment which is about to get stomped on by the Maestro’s honking drag boots, but for a brief moment, music swells.

I was glad to see them taking time to slow things down a little in this episode. The Doctor even talks a bit about himself and Susan over on Totter’s Lane. Couple that with Carole Ann Ford’s presence at the Doctor Who premiere last year, and it feels like it might be more than a reference. I’ve seen Whovians of weak faith construe this to mean Susan is dead, but in my experience, when a writer says something isn’t, it is. That’s just my two cents. Who knows if any of it means anything. It could just be that it would be weird for the Doctor to visit London in 1963 and not mention him living there with his granddaughter. Or it could be that Doctor Who is finally getting a better Doctor/Susan reunion than “The FIve Doctors.” Who could forget the moment when they’re reunited?

First Doctor: "Oh, er, this is Susan."

Fifth Doctor: "Yes I know."

How could you not get choked up? What a reunion. I can’t imagine why people would want something more. The Doctor told her all those years ago “Someday I’ll come back,” and he did. It was brief and without any of that pesky emotional connection we usually get from television.

Ruby pulls the classic “But the world didn’t end in 1963, I exist,” so the Doctor shows Ruby what the world would look like without music and it’s grim. It was nice of them to show us a bombed-out London as many of us are still feeling the sting from Fallout: London’s delayed release. Thanks, Doccy Who. But the two are not alone as they’re interrupted by the Maestro and their Looney Tunes brand of scary sexy. As with their first interaction, the Doctor runs. I love that aspect because it’s very Davies Doctor Who. The Doctor runs from the Time Vortex. The Doctor runs from Gallifrey. The Ninth Doctor refers to himself as cowardly, but what it really is is he hasn’t anything to prove. He’ll live today to fight again tomorrow, and yesterday. Timey wimey.

While the Maestro finds the Doctor both hot and timey wimey, they are still very much a threat to him and the Doctor knows this. You can’t fight the Pantheon. You have to abide by their rules. How do you fight someone who can control the TARDIS with music? The Doctor rips the TARDIS console a new one in order to flee back to 1963, where the world has yet to end. I found it cute the way he kisses the console to say sorry for the way he treated her. It not only suits the Doctor, but this Doctor with his brand of compassion. The TARDIS gets it, but you’ve gotta kiss a boo-boo or it won’t get better, everyone knows that.

The Doctor’s only plan with his limited resources is to somehow find the opposite of the Devil’s Chord, a sort of lost chord, if you will. Of course, this draws the Maestro to the Doctor like my cats to the sound of the tin opener. The Maestro captures Ruby, wrapping her up in sheet music. The Doctor stares down the Maestro as they allow him the opportunity to prove his musical genius. Can the Doctor find the lost chord? With each new note appearing above the piano, the Maestro writhes in twisted agony. But the Doctor hits a bum note and the Maestro is back on their feet ready to suffocate the Doctor in a drum and choke the life out of Ruby. But the song within Ruby’s soul from the Christmas Eve where she was left on that church stoop is stronger than anything the Maestro can muster. The Maestro may own music, but Ruby owns this song in that moment. Like before in “Space Babies,” the snow begins to fall indoors and the Maestro recoils in horror.

This gives the Beatles enough time to discover the piano and play that final note. Alone, they may not be geniuses, but the combination of McCartney and Lennon is enough to find the lost chord and banish the Maestro. They could have also achieved this with Harrison alone. He wrote “Here Comes the Sun,” after all. With the lost chord now found, the Maestro gets sucked off back where they came. Was the note they found the same one from the end of “Day in the Life?” RTD said they used a single Beatles chord. Was that it? I don’t know enough about music to answer that. After a quick re-listen, I'm going to say yes.

London is once again filled with music. Now, we’ll finally get the chance to see the Beatles play their actual music, right? They fixed music, right? God I wish. After cryptically looking into the camera and saying “There’s always a twist in the end,” the Doctor and Ruby are suddenly thrust into what I can only describe as the worst song possible. I’ve said in the past that I am not a huge fan of Murray Gold’s music. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just a bit safe for my tastes. But this song… I loathe it with every fibre of my being. It’s cloying, it’s corny, and it’s a repetitive ear worm you don’t want stuck in your head. I’ve said I was interested in Doctor Who doing a musical number, but this was god awful. I try to be as fair as possible when it comes to my reviews, so I think I’ve earned enough good faith to openly say this song is terrible. I would rather listen to the crappy dog song from earlier in the episode, and I don’t even own any circuit-bent instruments, and therein lies the problem.

How can you say the Doctor saved music when the way you present it is with a song that is simply not good? We need a good song in this moment, and that was not it. If ever there was a time to reach into the coffers and pay for a song, it was this. I mean, he said “There’s always a twist in the end,” and “Twist and Shout,” was right there. It wasn’t even written by the Beatles so it might have even been cheaper. They could even re-record it in the same Glee style in which they filmed the big song and dance routine. Hell, how expensive are Cilla Black songs? Do one of those. Instead, we get another fake Beatles song, in fake EMI studios, on fake Abbey Road to imply that we saved the future from a world of fake Beatles songs. By the time this insipid tune wears out its welcome, the Doctor and Ruby skip away across Abbey Road, lighting up the zebra crossing like piano keys. But instead of it being charming, it caused both my wife and I to say “Oh God, it’s still going.”

After the episode, I did a little bit of reading. I figured the two people dancing with the Doctor and Ruby were guest stars as they singled them out over the other background dancers. Evidently, they’re judges or competitors on Strictly. I dunno, I don’t watch that shit. So I really have no idea if that song was written to be in the style of something you would see on Strictly. But what I do know, is that it was brave of Murray Gold to show his face during that exquisite train wreck. I guess this episode really did pull a “Daleks in Manhattan,” à la ��My Angel Put the Devil In Me.” In that respect, you can add contemporary music to the list of things Doctor Who should do well, but can’t seem to get right. It’s in good company with pirates and westerns. “The Gunfighters,” even fails at two out of three. Impressive!

I do admire the hell out of RTD and company for throwing their whole ass into that ending. It takes real chutzpah to fail so spectacularly. And honestly, as harsh as I’ve been, I didn’t totally hate the scene. In some ways, it's a clever pastiche to '60s music. In that light, I could maybe come around to it, over time. They’re also trying new things. But I think we found the ceiling pretty fast. I can’t say I’d like to see that sort of thing a lot more in the future, but here and there? Sure. As it is, it feels unrestrained and masturbatory. And truthfully, I would have preferred an actual musical like Buffy’s “Once More, With Feeling,” or Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ “Subspace Rhapsody.” They somehow gave me what I wanted while simultaneously failing to deliver.

Now of course, the real question is- what was the twist at the end? Was it the appearance of the Maestro’s “son,” Henry “Harbinger,” Arbinger? Or maybe it was a meta-reference to actress Susan Twist, the woman who once again has shown up in the background. I find it even more interesting that in every episode where she’s appeared, they give her a line to read. Or maybe it’s a Susan twist, as in the Doctor’s granddaughter. They mention Susan in the same episode with an actress named Susan Twist where they sing about twists while doing the twist. It’s like “Who’s on second?” or “The Doctor’s daughter who plays the Doctor’s daughter in ‘The Doctor’s Daughter,’ marries the Doctor.”

Despite the ending and the rehashed story, I rather liked this episode. Jinkx Monsoon and Ncuti Gatwa had great chemistry. The mysteries continue to unfold. Along with my hope for the Rani, I can now add hope for Susan into the mix, and as with the Rani, I won’t get my hopes up. In the same vein, I'm grateful that Maestro wasn't a code name for the Master. We've seen enough of him for a while, thanks. Ncuti and Millie continue to impress as the Doctor and Ruby. I also admired Ruby's restraint in not telling John Lennon to avoid chubby guys in glasses. I loved the Maestro and the fact that their laugh was vocal warm-up. So much fantastic attention to detail. But that ending is not my bag. It felt tacked on, poorly paced, and obnoxious. It reminded me of that line from Fight Club- “We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.” Emphasis on the crap.

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