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lovelytsunoda · 2 years ago

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holding out for a hero ( iii ) // platonic! mercedes amg

summary: a holiday party at marcus armstrong's house brings changes to y/n's life, in the form of both a british f2 driver she'd rather not show her face around ever again, and a very awkward milestone.

pairing: platonic!mercedes amg f1 x reader, brief olli caldwell x reader

warnings: first kisses, a slew of emotions i don't want to unpack, it's going to be cute and angsty all at the same time, self-deprecation, basically the same warnings as the rest of the series tbh, mentions of an alcohol allergy, paul being a little shit

author's note: this is lowkey based on the story of my first kiss from last december . . . i actually hated it all and we're back to the drawing board on that whole dating thing. i fear my standards may be too high.

this series would make such a good sitcom tbh

"marcus, for the last time, i don't do parties." y/n insisted, frowning at the face on her phone as she stride out of the mercedes building in brackley. "i don't care that i already know most of the people who are going to be there, or that the guys are bringing their girlfriends. the answer is no."

"come on!" marcus armstrong begged on the other end of the facetime call, laughing as the young intern clumsily zipped up her tommy hilfiger jacket, hiding the bottom half of her face under the collar as the wind whipped her face, flakes of snow beginning to fall from the winter sky. "it's not as bad as you're thinking it's going to be. it's literally just at my house, my younger sister is going to be there."

y/n snorted. "come on, armstrong. if you think telling me that your teenaged sister is going to be at the party is a drawing factor, you need to reevaluate things in your life. besides, liam is going to be there and it's going to be ultra painful to see him and his girlfriend being all loved up."

silverstone had been a huge knock to y/n y/l/n's self-confidence. it had taken a lot for her to allow herself to be that vulnerable. to dance in front of the rowdy group of boys, to let her guard down long enough to meet new people, to have a good time.

to tell liam lawson that she thought he was cute, just for liam to shatter her heart into a million peices without even meaning or trying to.

god, she wished she could stop being so sensitive sometimes.

she hadn't been to another race since. she also hadn't spoken directly to liam, occasionally being looped into things on the group chat. as far as she was aware, red bull were shipping him off to japan with cem bolukbasi to run a superformula test.

she was heading back to her car now, the cold air turning her fingers numb as she clutched her phone, digging in her pocket for her car keys.

"i'm not doing it, armstrong."

"and why the bloody hell not? you had a great time in sliverstone, and i'll have james keep liam away from you if that would make you feel better."

y/n had opened her mouth to say something when she felt a pair of hands clapping her on the shoulders.

"she's going." susie wolff insisted. "come on, y/n. you need to get out more. you deserve to let yourself have fun."

"but this party isn't going to be fun, susie."

susie grinned, hands in the deep front pockets of her trench coat. "you won't know unless you try it, kiddo." she turned to the phone. "marcus, she'll be there!"

____

y/n stood in front of her mirrored closet door, smoothing her fingers over her hair, drawn back into a tight half-up ponytail kind of style.

"you look great, kiddo!" angela cullen's voice faintly filtered through the phone speakers, a kelsy karter song playing softly from the turntable in the corner.

"ang, i'm going to make a fool out of myself out there." y/n groaned. "i hate parties!"

"but you know these guys, y/n. you know marcus, you know clem and you know fred. you'll be fine. with that being said, if you want to leave early, call one of us."

"oh, you'll definitley be getting some kind of call." she rolled her eyes, stopping the turntable and sliding the shiny black vinyl back into it's sleeve, fairy lights twinkling above her. "what if they don't like me, angela?"

"and what if they love you?"

after bidding the physiotherapist her goodbyes, y/n pocketed her phone and padded across the dusty apartment floor to her kitchen. the apartment felt too big for her to live in on her own, and technically she didn't, but it's not like her roommate was ever home. she sighed to herself, opening the fridge to stare at the almost empty shelf, making a mental note to order her groceries.

if there was anything that gave her anxiety, it was grocery shopping. there was a voice in her head that always seemed to tell her that the cashier ringing her groceries through was judging her, or that that mother with two kids in a stroller was frowning at the nutritional index of meals she hadn't even made yet.

she grabbed the plastic container with the kirkland signature logo, groaning to herself as she realized that the lettuce in her pre-made ceaser salad had gone off.

"fuck me." she muttered, throwing the entire thing in the trash before grabbing a ziploc container filled with sliced peppers, that way she had at least eaten something before she went to the party.

just in case her anxiety stamped out her appetite

her nimble fingers sailed across the keyboard as she texted clement, asking for a ride to marcus'. she had no idea where she was going, and she didn't want to be lost in london this close to the new year.

i'll be at the apartment in twenty, and i've got my girlfriend with me. she can't wait to meet you! you're going to have a great time at marcus'

she took a deep breath, reminding herself to calm down a little. it was just marcus armstrong's house. what could possibly go wrong? they're the same people she had such a great time with at silverstone, right?

_____

she regretted going to marcus' almost as soon as she walked through the doors to his massive penthouse. at the track, they could pretend that they were all the same. but not here, not out in the real world when y/n walked through the front doors of his doorman building with glass elevators, his penthouse that was bigger than even the townhouse she grew up in with her parents.

in the kitchen, marcus had stacked a sturdy tower of martini glasses. behind them, felipe drugovich was standing on a kitchen chair with a bottle of ferrari trento champagne in his arms.

"i've always wanted to do this!" the f2 champion shouted. "come on, guys. someone get this on tape!"

"dear lord, what are the twenty stooges doing now?" she groaned, leaning against the wall next to jehan daruvala.

jehan laughed. "making a champagne fountain because liam said he saw it in a movie once. felipe wanted to do the honors of puring it, and nobody wants to argue with the f2 champ, especially when he just found out he's not getting a race seat next year, but logan is."

"shit. i guess the feeder series system just isn't working like it used to."

a chorus of cheers from the kitchen island disrupted further conversation, the warm lights shining down on the last person that y/n wanted to see. god, motorsport was a small world, wasn't it?

liam lawson locked eyes with her from across the apartment, giving her a sad and sympathetic smile. she bit her lip to stop from grimacing, meekly waving back.

nobody else knew what had happened between her and liam, and she preferred to keep it that way.

"y/n!" marcus shouted, throwing his arms in the air and waving her over. "come join us!"

"have a drink." clement encouraged, trying to pass her a glass of champagne.

she shook her head. "give it to your girlfriend, novalak. i'm actually allergic to alcohol."

calan williams narrowed his eyes, skeptically sipping from his own glass. "that sounds fake."

y/n laughed, moving closer to the kitchen island. "its a genetic thing. i can't handle anything more than a cooler or a mixed drink. anything stronger will have me throwing up for hours."

"i think there's some smirnoff ice in the fridge." marcus suggested, pointing towards a large cabinet front. ayumu iwasa opened the cabinet, revealing the fridge behind it.

fucking rich people.

"what the hell, pass me one of the peach smirnoff coolers in the door."

"to felipe!" dennis hauger shouted, hefting his beer into the air, arm full of tattoos on display. "our 2022 champion!"

"and to logan, my old teammate!" liam lawson added, throwing his arm around logan sargeant's neck. liam looked drunkest of all, though it seemed like all of the drivers were a wreck. "williams racing's last hope."

she spent most of the night wandering around marcus' massive house, ducking in and out of conversations. she appreciated that the drivers were trying to help her feel at home, but there was still a small part of her that wanted to flee, to run away and sit at home with her emily henry book or watch a korean psychological thriller.

"so who's actually sticking around next year?" jack doohan asked, slumped across marcus' living room sofa. "aren't they cleaning house in f2?" his buzzcut was growing back in, his shaggy blonde hair fitting his face much better, although the look still seemed odd since the length was at that awkward stage.

"it's dennis, you, ayumu, jehan, enzo, theo, me, amaury, roy, ralph." fred vesti started counting off on his fingers, a drunken slur underneath his words if one listened carefully.

"and i'm not going anywhere any time soon!" ralph boomed. "i'm like fernando fucking alonso, motherfuckers! 2023 is going to be my year, just you wait and see!"

"yeah right! the championship is as much yours as it is clem's!" marcus shouted back with a laugh, an aperol spritz in hand as he messed with the stereo.

"oh, fuck you lot." clement laughed, curled up in an armchair with his girlfriend. "you didn't need to do me like that in front of ines, come on, have some class."

"am i forgetting about anyone?" fred hummed. "i skipped clem, but am i missing anyone else?"

"what about zane? he's coming back, yeah?" amaury suggested.

"dude, it's a miracle that you're coming back." dennis snorted. "i thought you were gone for sure after that speeding ticket fiasco. how long did you lose your license for?"

sitting on the couch in between jack and olli caldwell, she felt suffocated. she drew her arms in on herself, trying to create a bubble of space from the aussie on one side and the briton on the other. her palms felt sweaty, her chest heavy.

"are you okay?" olli asked her softly. "do you want to get out of here? we can go for a walk, take a breather?"

she nodded quickly, her voice soft. "please? i love you all, i really do, but this is a bit much."

"yeah, come on. let's grab your jacket." olli encouraged, taking her by the hand as they both slipped out of marcus' living room.

not that anybody noticed they were gone. or that they had left together.

once they were both outside, y/n felt better. the cool breeze on her face, the twinkling christmas lights that had been lit up glowing in the haze as snow began to fall gently.

"so where are you off to next year if it's not f2?" she asked, fingers still laced with olli's as they walked down the sidewalk.

"endurance, i think. alpine are still sponsoring me as a driver, so laurent has been a hige help in trying to find me something else. it's something different, and i'm looking forward to it. what about you?"

"i have no idea." she answered truthfully, dropping olli's hand. "my internship runs out before the season starts in bahrain. then it will be back to the real world, the world where i'm on my own with my five friends and my roommate. i'm hoping that toto will keep me on next year, but i also realize that he might not have that control. it would be a shame to leave, though. i feel like i've finally found my place in this world."

they stopped walking, y/n leaning against the brickwork exterior of marcus' condo complex. olli stood in front of her, hands in his jeans pockets, his breath turning into mist in the air.

"i'm sure it will all work out. and even if mercedes don't take you on, there are so many other motorsports in europe that you can try. and you'll always have us, y/n. any time you want them, i've got wec tickets for you."

"thanks, olli. really."

they drifted into a silence, somewhat easy, somewhat not. olli's hands came up to press against the wall, his face just milimeters from hers. her heart started pounding, anticipation building in her bones.

is this it? is it really happening? is olli caldwell going to kiss me?

and then he leaned in, his lips pressed against hers.

y/n y/l/n had just had her first kiss.

_____

"so let me get this straight, you finally got your first kiss, a boy actually wanted to go out with you, and you're turning him down?"

"well, when you put it like that!" y/n groaned, face in her hands as she slumped back in her desk chair.

it was the week after marcus armstrong's party, the group sitting in the legal department at the mercedes f1 factory in brackley. she had already told the full story, and her face was pinker than a crush cream soda.

"i just don't understand what your train of thought is here, if i'm being honest." george chuckled. "so caldwell kissed you. what's the big deal?"

"because it was my first kiss, george! i've been thinking it over all weekend, and i felt sick to my stomach when olli texted me the morning after." she groaned, running her hands over her face. "you're going to laugh at me when i tell you why."

"i promise you, we aren't going to laugh, y/n." lewis said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "all of what you're feeling is normal."

she sighed. "it didn't feel the way that the books said it was supposed to feel."

"that's your big reasoning? really?" nyck's tinny voice rang through the speaker on mick shumacher's phone. in abu dhabi, the reserve driver had officially been traded to scuderia alphatauri, and by extension, not allowed into brackley to be privy to this conversation. so, naturally, he was facetimed and looped in anyways.

"mick, can you please mute the traitor." y/n groaned, reaching for the german boy's phone before mick laughed and pulled it out of her reach to mute the call himself.

on screen, nyck was still talking.

"i know it sounds stupid, but i've felt sick about it all weekend. what am i supposed to do, guys?"

"i think that your feeling are vaild, first of all." mick began, "and that maybe olli came on too strong."

mick's finger slipped, unmuting the call enough for nyck to shout. "did i not just say that? were you not listening?"

"you have so much time, y/n." lewis said with a small smile. "but i hope you've learned something about yourself from this, yeah? maybe this was the boost of self confidence that you needed?"

she had thought about the kiss all weekend, hoping that she could make it make sense, and that she wasn't overreacting. and it's not like olli had done anything wrong, although french kissing was a little much for the first date, even when it wasn't even a date, and she was trying to convince herself that telling olli she just wanted to be friends was the best call.

and then, digging deeper, she had to ask herself if she was even ready for a relationship. because when the idea was finally breathing down her neck, the idea of olli, and going on a date, and sharing so much of herself with someone else, it scared the shit out of her.

"he put his tongue in my mouth, lewis!" she whined. "god, i sound like a child."

"he what?" a muffled voice called from the other side of her desk, followed up by a thump and frantic whispering.

"what the fuck?" y/n mumbled, getting out of her desk chair and leaning over the glass cubicle wall. "paul?"

with a shit eating grin on his face, paul aron slipped out from underneath the table, kimi antonelli just behind him. while paul didn't look the least bit apologetic, kimi looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

"i am so sorry, miss. we shouldn't have been listening." the italian boy bowed his head. "but blame paul, it was his idea."

"what, i wanted the office gossip." the estonian boy shrugged. "he french kissed you, and you friendzoned him? that's a little sad."

"paul get out!" y/n snapped. "or i'll call toto and bono!"

the threat of toto wolff was enough to get kimi and paul to dart out of the room faster than the freca cars that they drove. toto didn't know about the kiss, mainly because she knew that he had otmar and laurent on speed dial and would find a way to put the fear of god into oliver caldwell for hurting his intern.

the bond that she had formed with the wolff family wasn't something she would have traded for the world. she found herself calling or texting toto's daughter rosa more often, with the two being of a similar age.

she just hoped that toto liked her enough to keep her around for another season.

"there are plenty of fish in the sea, kiddo." susie wolff added, striding into the office. "and don't worry, i'm not going to tell toto. although, paul and kimi might. take this as a learning experience. and don't take any advice from this lot." she added, whacking george in the back of the head with a file folder.

"why did i feel like that was directed at me?" the man from king's lynn groaned.

"the right boy will come when the time is right. god knows i met toto later in life. and look at us now." susie continued, pulling y/n in for a hug. "come on, we have an investor meeting with monster, and toto wants you there."

"me? he wants me in a meeting with our biggest sponsor?"

lewis laughed. "you need to start giving yourself more credit. you are so loved here, y/n. you have a future in motorsport law, a future here."

mick, lewis and george all exchanged a look, bright smiles on their faces.

"what are you not telling me? is toto keeping me on for next year?"

"we aren't allowed to say anything just yet." george started. "but, i think toto has a soft spot for you."

"put it this way: you'll know before bahrain, and you might want to pack some summer clothes." susie smiled.

Tags:

@magnummagnussen @diorleclerc @daydreamingleclerc @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @libraryofloveletters

#mercedes amg petronas #lewis hamilton x reader #george russell x reader #mick schumacher x reader #toto wolff #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #family are the friends we meet along the way series #olli caldwell x reader #Spotify

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