#Stump Grinding Reading

[tree-stump-removal]

Stump Busters

The UK's No.1 Tree Stump Removal Specialists.

Visit Our Website

[chocokano]

it is officially the one year anniversary of hz episode 16, aka THE spinel pokemon episode, therefore!

a redraw of my very first (08/01/23) digital drawing of spinel (*'▽'*)

plus cool overlay hehe

i can't believe it's been a whole year since he got his big episode ∑(ﾟДﾟ) i don't think i'll ever be as excited for any episode as i was for 16

here's to another year of this freak !! maybe he'll actually show up soon outside of a 5 second appearance that sets up him being suspicious just for it to be forgotten for months

og under cut! (old art alert)

[mayertreema]

How Long Does a Tree Stump Take to Decompose Naturally?

When a tree is removed, one of the lingering remnants is often the stump left behind. While it might seem like a simple matter of nature taking its course, the time it takes for a tree stump to decompose on its own without intervention can vary significantly. Understanding the factors that influence this process can help homeowners make informed decisions about whether to let the stump fade away naturally or seek professional assistance.

The Decomposition Timeline

On average, a tree stump can take anywhere from several years to decades to fully decompose without any human intervention. The exact timeframe depends largely on the type of tree, environmental conditions, and the stump's size. Softwood stumps, such as those from pine or fir trees, tend to break down more quickly, often within 10 to 20 years. In contrast, hardwood stumps, like oak or maple, may take 20 years or more to decompose completely.

Factors Influencing Decomposition

Several key factors determine how quickly a tree stump will decompose:

1. Tree Species: The type of tree plays a crucial role in the decomposition process. Hardwoods are denser and contain more lignin, making them more resistant to decay. Softwoods, with their less dense structure, are more susceptible to decomposition by fungi and insects.

2. Environmental Conditions: Moisture and temperature are critical factors. In damp, warm climates, stumps decompose faster due to increased fungal and microbial activity. Conversely, in dry or cold environments, the decomposition process slows down considerably.

3. Soil Composition: The type of soil surrounding the stump affects decomposition. Rich, fertile soils with high microbial activity promote faster decay, while poor, compacted soils can inhibit the process.

4. Presence of Insects and Fungi: Insects like termites and beetles, along with various fungi, accelerate the breakdown of the stump. These organisms digest the wood, breaking it down into simpler organic materials.

5. Stump Size and Depth: Larger stumps with greater mass take longer to decompose. Additionally, stumps buried deeper in the ground may decompose more slowly due to limited exposure to oxygen and decomposers.

Pros and Cons of Natural Decomposition

Allowing a tree stump to decompose naturally has its advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages:

Environmental Benefits: Natural decomposition recycles nutrients back into the soil, promoting ecosystem health.

Cost-Effective: Avoids the expense associated with professional stump removal services.

Wildlife Habitat: Stumps can provide habitats for various insects, birds, and small mammals.

Disadvantages:

Aesthetic Concerns: A decaying stump can be unsightly and detract from the landscape's appearance.

Safety Hazards: Over time, a decomposing stump can become unstable, posing tripping hazards or potential collapse risks.

Pest Attraction: Stumps can attract pests such as termites, beetles, and other insects that may pose threats to nearby structures or other trees.

Alternatives to Natural Decomposition

For those who prefer not to wait decades for a stump to vanish, there are several alternatives available:

Stump Grinding: Stump Grinding In reading ma is a popular method that involves using specialized machinery to grind the stump into small wood chips. This process is relatively quick and can eliminate the visual and physical presence of the stump in a matter of hours.

Stump Removal: Unlike grinding, Stump Removal In reading ma involves extracting the entire stump and a portion of the root system from the ground. This method is more labor-intensive but ensures complete removal, preventing future regrowth.

Hiring a Tree Arborist: A certified Tree Arborist In reading ma can assess the condition of the stump and recommend the most effective removal method. Their expertise ensures that the removal process is done safely and efficiently.

Tree Service: Comprehensive tree service often include stump removal as part of their offerings. Engaging a professional tree service ensures that all aspects of tree and stump management are handled appropriately.

When to Consider Professional Help

While natural decomposition is a viable option, there are scenarios where professional intervention becomes necessary. If the stump is causing safety issues, hindering landscaping efforts, or attracting unwanted pests, seeking professional help is advisable. Services such as tree removal reading ma and tree trimming reading ma can address these concerns efficiently, ensuring that your property remains safe and aesthetically pleasing.

Moreover, professionals can offer guidance on the best methods for stump removal based on the specific circumstances of your property. Whether opting for stump grinding or complete removal, having expert assistance ensures that the job is done correctly, minimizing the risk of damage to surrounding areas or future tree growth.

The time it takes for a tree stump to decompose naturally varies widely, influenced by factors such as tree species, environmental conditions, and stump size. While natural decomposition can be an environmentally friendly and cost-effective solution, it may not always be the most practical choice for every situation. For those seeking quicker and more definitive removal, services like tree service reading ma offer professional solutions tailored to individual needs.

Whether you choose to let the stump fade away on its own or decide to take proactive steps with the help of experts, understanding the decomposition process and available options ensures that you make the best decision for your property and its long-term health.  For learn more https://mayertree.com/reading-tree-service/

[deadcaptainentertainment]

Me (via text, paraphrasing): hi customer, we're going to be doing stump grinds all through next week, and because we have a ton to catch up on after the grinder was broken down for 2 months, we're going to just give all the work orders to the guys and have them do as many as they can per day until they've done them all. Are you cool with being on their list knowing that I will not be able to give you a time or date that they're coming by?

Customer: yes, just give me a call with the time and date. Thanks!

Me: [benafflecksmoking.jpg]

[bunni-v1]

relating to your last ask that included arguments between shadow milk and his lover, i cannot get the following picture out of my head:

his doll, while a bit (a bit more) off-put by the whole truthless recluse situation, is very much "whatever, their soul jam, their business" about it

however-

what grinds their gears is the fact that kids (aka the gingerbrave gang) are involved

i can just imagine them going off on shadow milk like "listen, i get it, your plans but they are kids. literal children?? keep them out of this-" "no, doll, listen, they're scheming kids-"

ik this isn't really an ask, but i just wanted to share it :)) love your writing, you're amazing, and your shadow milk headcanons live rent free in my brain (actually i am paying them-)

Lolololol (Feel like a mysmes character typing ts... okay), I guess we can say this is ur rent. I'm happy for your payment though, it's good food for thought my love! Have a little midnight snack as a treat!

Just imagine you're someone who's more compassionate. It's something that Shadow Milk Cookie cherishes about you... when it's directed at him. You're always worrying over him and his little henchmen, Candy Apple especially since she's so young. It's annoying, but it's sweet how much you dote on them, and he can't say he dislikes the idea of you in a more parental role...

It becomes an issue when those little pests come around. You've never nosed your way into his business at all, leaving things between him and Pure Vanilla to be what they are. He prefers it like that, keeping you out of trouble was always a positive on his mind. Oh, but then those cute little annoying snotty nosed brats come along and ruin everything.

It wouldn't have been an issue if you hadn't overheard him threaten to drown them. It not like he was actually going to, he was just poking at Truthless Recluse, that's all. You didn't take it though, you were all kinds of pissed off at him.

He thinks it's a silly thing to be upset about, you know he didn't care enough about those kids to do much of anything to them. Yet, you remain upset, even after things are done and Compassionate Pure Vanilla has TEMPORARILY taken him and his plans down. It stumps him, he can't possibly wrap his mind around what's gotten into you. Such a small insignificant act is nothing compared to half of what you've seen him do.

When you refuse to say more than a few words to him, he starts to worry. What did he do wrong? Well, you told him, but why was it so bad this time? The best answers come from the source, of course, but getting it out of you might be a little harder than he likes.

"Doll? Dolly? Little star? Won't you talk to me?" He pouts, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

You might've teased him if you weren't so upset now. You keep your nose upturned, doing your best not to crack under his relentless pressure. He could be so persistent about these things, and normally you would give, but he'd crossed a line this time. You didn't mess around with children, and he should've known better.

A drawn-out sigh comes from behind you, "Are you still upset about the drowning thing? It was all in good fun I promise! Nothing to worry your pretty little head over!"

He didn't know better, though. For the former fount of knowledge -- and someone who could literally read minds if he wanted to -- he was terribly unaware sometimes. It made you so angry, and you felt bad for being angry because he really didn't get it.

"They're just insignificant little kids, it's a silly thing to be angry about." He continues, and oh that gets a reaction out of you.

You turn around to face him, the boredom in his expression only making that anger bubble up more and more. You really can't hold it in anymore.

"Exactly, they're kids! Just kids, they don't have any stake in this. Why couldn't you let well enough alone for once!" You shout, and it feels so good to get out. Pettiness aside, you'd wanted to get it through his head since this all started.

You watch his face shift through surprise and annoyance and then flatten into an unreadable expression. It was unsettling to see, especially pointed in your direction. Still, you tried to stand your ground, though you'd never felt so small next to him. He lets the silence linger in a purposeful move, you're not sure why. It keeps you on edge the whole time, unable to tell what his next move might be.

"Dolly, they were in my way, I had no choice-" He starts, but you've had enough of the manipulation and sitting quietly.

"What threat are children to you?" Your voice breaks halfway through the sentence, tears you didn't realize were building pouring over your cheeks, "You are so frustrating sometimes. In what universe would I ever be alright with hurting children? Sometimes it's like you don't even know me!"

You don't realize he's in front of you until he's lifting your face in his hand with uncharacteristic gentleness. His face is still flat, but you see the worry shining behind his eyes.

"Y'know you shouldn't lie to the literal embodiment of deceit," He says quietly as he brushes your tears away.

You know you shouldn't, but you laugh a little at that, "I'm sorry. I'm just upset."

"No, really?"

"You don't get to joke around right now," you scoff with a halfhearted shove at his shoulder.

He hums, leaning into your vision so you have to look at him, "It's making you smile, though."

"Shadow Milk Cookie."

"Okay, okay. I get the message," He backs off, "Just don't cry anymore, please?"

You smile, "Maybe if you promise not to involve those kids more than you have to, please?"

He seems to think it over like it was a hard decision. He doesn't think much longer when you flatten a glare on him, "Alright, it's a promise! You can look at my fingers, they're not crossed either! I'll keep my word!"

You scoff at him, "What do I see in you?"

"My charm and wit, of course!" He puffs up like a proud cat, the usual grin back on his face.

"Just kiss it better you dummy!"

"Whatever you ask for, you shall receive, my little star!"

And kiss it better he does, until you can hardly remember why you were so mad at him to begin with.

[sundownvalentine]

Peterick is funny because they both had totally seperate reactions to it like. You see patrick stump has just made like 3 posts saying how much he hates shipping and if u ship peterick ur an idiot. After reading these u look at what pete wentz is posting and it's some crazy shit like "yeah patrick is my husband and we fuck on the tourbus. Yeah he's my soul mate and my other half and I don't think I'll ever have a relationship like this with anyone else. Also he's super hot and did i mention were married" and then that night they play a show where pete grinds on patrick while he sings and he breathes on and kisses his neck in a very homoerotic way and patrick just seems??? Fine with it?? And then the show ends and they don't bring it up. At an interview the next day they both act surprised people think that they're screwing each other on the low

[mayasaurusss]

Having a situationship with Shauna in the wilderness headcanons:

A/n: Guys and gays, a few things. I wrote this in like fifteen minutes, and also I've never wrote either headcanons or explicit sexual content, so consider me an amateur for this. I only did till the doomcoming episode cause I haven't finished watching the first season. Tell me if you'd like a longer version of this with a full on smut scene. I feel so embarrassed of myself.

You and Shauna don't start off as friends. You were just another girl on the team that she did not pay attention to.

When the plane crashes, all of you start to rely on each other more and more and as time passes, Shauna starts to warm up to you.

When you find the lake and take a swim, you and Shauna both decide to pounce on Van.

Later, you and her talk together on the rocky shore of the lake and discover your mutual love for literature. Shauna secretly hopes to make Jackie jealous but wouldn't dare to say that to you.

The first night at the cabin, you and her talk together well after midnight, whispering in eachothers ears and giggling. This makes Jackie roll her eyes and clinging in her sheets in annoyance.

During senace, Shauna clings close to you terrified, when Lottie starts to workship unknown gods, much to Jackie's dismay.

After the Lottie incident Taissa decides to sleep in the attic to prove it's not haunted, Shauna follows close behind her. As you too were making your way to the attic to keep them company, you hear Shauna and Taissa talk, talk of a 'baby'. You can't quite make up what they're saying but are smart enough to understand. You leave them alone and go back down stairs.

Shauna watches you when you chop the wood for the fire: all those weeks in the wilderness and the physical effort you had to endure (usually doomed to the heavier task) had made you stronger. After Jackie so graciously spilled Shauna's secret out, she doesn't do as much as work as she did before: during the afternoon she sits outside talking in the light and pure air of the forest. Sometimes she writes in her journals (so secretly, she wouldn't want you to read her most secret fantasies) reads the few books she brough with her or, most of the time, spies you chopping off the wood.

Something about how you move your body makes her shift, she thinks she looks like one of those horny ladies in old movies watching their husbands or the new mechanic work.

You feel her eyes on you, but when you watch her she's caught up in something else.

Food begins to be scarce, no one eats much but whenever you have a bit of food you instantly give it to Shauna, making her worry for your health but she accepts it anyway, she's really hungry after all.

When the team is sure to die, Jackie has another idea, to host a doomcoming.

All the girls wear their nicest clothes, adorning their heads with flower crowns. You get into one of your best dresses, leaving your arms exposes and unknowingly sparking a heat in Shauna's body.

She watches you drink the alcohol Mari made, how you talk to others and can't help but want you all for herself.

Shauna feels her eyes shifting painfully, her vision goes blurry and she branches herself on a stump. She's hungry now. She doesn't know why, she just wants something to eat. She looks at you.

At one point, everything starts to blurry together and you fell asleep. You woke up at the cabin, someone had brought you back. You're tied on a chair and your teammates are around you.

You feel everyone starting to touch you, but when Mari tires to kiss you, Shauna feels her blood boiling. She roughly shoves her friend away and sits on your lap, her mouth on yours kissing you sloppily and grinding on your thigh while everyone looked.

The others watch, their eyes fixated on the both of you, some try to get behind you and touch you from there but Shauna clings to you so tightly no one can get close to your skin.

You feel embarrassed, you feel hot and bothered but to Shauna, this is a way to make you hers, letting everyone watch her make your mouth and your body hers is her way to make you two bond and claim you as hers and only hers.

[hottakendragon]

quickies!

jake sully x na’vi! afab!reader

warnings: explicit sexual content, MDNI

jake lovvvesss quickies! he’s so eager for you, how can he help himself when you’re so pretty that it’s actually distracting?

“c’mon, baby! no one’s around,” jake would shout, spreading his arms wide and turning to gesture towards the dense jungle surrounding you.

and sure you’re supposed to be training him to be one of the people, you have been for weeks now. but you’ve also been kind of platonically fucking him? it’s cool, it’s fine. and definitely platonic.

“shhh!! tìfnu.” you hiss at him, tail thrashing even as your cheeks burn. and of course jake notices, a wide smile taking over his features. you turn to avoid his gaze, marching off and leaving him to trail behind you.

it had started when jake had bonded with bob, and you’d immediately taken off on your own ikran to ride alongside him. you both weave through thick vines and bank off the mountains, laughing and cheering with one another.

it’s nightfall before you land near hometree, still pumping with adrenaline as jake walks alongside you.

“-and when we scaled that huge mountain? we were going so fast! god that was fucking awesome.” he boasts, movements animated with his charming smile revealing his teeth. you laugh with jake, your shoulder bumping into his. you can feel him looking at you, but you do not dare to glance over at him; otherwise he might catch the shine of affection in your eyes.

but then jake is suddenly reaching for you, gently taking your wrist and halting your steps. you turn curiously and jake is immediately in your space, dragging you in and standing so close that you have to tilt your chin to meet his eyes. his hands caress your arms, touch flitting over your shoulders before cradling your jaw in his large palms.

you’re holding your breath, eyes wide as you try to read his thoughts. his eyes are low, flickering over your features then settling on your lips. his tongue swipes across his bottom lip before he mutters, “i wanna try somethin’,” and jake is leaning close, mouth gently pressing against your own.

your heart feels like it’s in your throat, but you can’t let your nerves get the best of you, not when jake has presented the chance you’ve been pining for. you kiss him back, and you’re rewarded as jake hums, pushing open mouthed kisses against your lips and his thick arms wrapping around you.

and from there jake had you spread on your back, his large body covering yours as he rocked into you, his heavy cock filling you like you’ve never felt before. and maybe the encounter was a bit more intimate than you’ll admit, as it undoubtedly flipped a switch in your relationship dynamic with jake.

so naturally quickies we’re becoming a semi-regular thing!

you continue on the path, shaking away various memories of jake’s hands, his tongue, his dick. the frequency of your little escapades is beginning to impede on both of your responsibilities, and the thought dampens your mood for more reason than one.

but jake severely lacks self control when it comes to you, you’re still so distracting even when you’re trying to be a good mentor! your hips are swaying gorgeously and your hair is so pretty down to your waist, leading to your plump little bum and your tail that flicks in slight annoyance. in fact, jake is so distracted by you that he leaps to sneak up on you, twirling your shoulders to push you against the nearest tree.

the impact makes you yelp, but it’s muffled as jake smashes his mouth against yours in a messy kiss; teeth scraping, his tongue slipping against yours. his thigh wedges between yours, effectively pinning you between his hard body and the thick tree stump.

“y’r such a tease, ya’ know it?” jake huffs against your mouth, licking at your lip, grinding his erection into your lower belly.

“jake!” you hiss, your palms pressing into his firm chest, less heat behind your tone than you intended.

but jake is still crowding against you, his eyes sweeping over your features. “what? cmon, baby, tell me you don’t want to,” he soothes and it’s so different from the jake you know during training; the one who’s a bit clumsy but still brazen and lighthearted. no, this jake is so much bigger than you, large shoulders caging you like a predator and gaze burning your skin, dilated eyes glancing over your body through those ridiculous eyelashes.

his breath fans over your cheeks as he looks down on you. “lemme take you, right here,” he rumbles, voice low and his accent heavy. jake is pulling you flush against him, sure to brush his fingers over those spots that make you shiver. jake’s hands are low on your hips, toying with the string of your loincloth until the knot is slipping loose and the material pools at your feet. despite him, you shake your head with a disagreeing pout.

jake scoffs, smirking and leaning close. “no? i know you want it, baby. i can fucking smell you,” his voice hisses, lips brushing your ear. his fingers ghost over your navel, and suddenly he cups your heat with his palm. when he’s greeted with your hot slick coating his fingers, he hums. “see? that pussy’s just aching for me,” and he’s sure to spread your wetness through your folds before easing two fingers inside of you, thumb pressing into your clit. the pleasure makes your eyes flutter closed, your head knocking back into the tree.

jake hums, leaving a wet kiss on your chin. “cmon, say it. tell me you want this cock.” as he works his fingers faster, drawing a whimper out of you.

“just-just be quick! we have much to do.” you blush, unable to deny yourself the unwavering pleasure of jake’s touch.

and your words make his entire body light up, and jake is smothering you in another tight embrace. “god. yes, thank you. i’ll make it quick. then we can train together for the rest of the day, okay?” he hums in between open mouthed kisses along the column of your throat. he’s rushing to untie his own loincloth, tongue clicking in frustration when he has to pull away from you to fumble with the knot. his efforts make you giggle, and the sound has him glancing up at you.

“you think s’funny?” he huffs, still struggling with the strap. you continue to laugh, your arms wrapping around his torso until your touch runs over the base of his tail. jake’s breath hitches, his lips parting and eyes blown wide.

“you are impatient,” you tease him, nimble fingers taking over and loosening the knot with ease. jake blows out the breath he was holding, pulling you by your waist.

“cant help myself, baby, y’r just too pretty,” and his loincloth slips past his hips. jake pins you to the tree, kisses you as he takes his cock in hand and slides the thick tip along your slit. he grunts at the sensation, but then he’s pushing into you, and you both moan as his girth slides into you.

jake hums when he’s filled you to the hilt, your tight heat contracting around his cock. he grinds himself into you, the base of his length pressing into your clit.

“think i’m addicted to you,” he huffs, rutting into you with a barely controlled rhythm, heavy breaths rushing past his lips. “can’t get enough of ya,” his words lilting as a whimper takes over his voice. jake’s fucking into you rabidly, thrusts causing you jostle in his hold.

“hold onto me, there ya’ go.” and then jake is shoving his forearms under the crook of your knees, lifting until your legs are dangling in the air, his larger, stronger body is supporting nearly all your weight while he thrusts into you. it forces you to steady yourself, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. the position changes the angle of his thrusts, and suddenly jake’s cock is repeatedly punching into that really sensitive spot inside your tight, spongy walls. the pleasure aches inside of you, making you shout and claw at jake’s biceps.

“jake!”

“hm? you like how i’m fuckin’ you, babe?”

and jake presses his forehead into yours, meeting your gaze. his features pinch with a scowl as he sets a brutal pace, growling as he watches your jaw drop with a broken moan spilling from your plump lips. your whines become headier with each drag of his cock.

“oh fuck,”

“ya’ gonna come? yeah? that’s it, baby, come all over my dick,” and jake’s fingers are swiping quickly over your clit. you choke on a gasp as your orgasm hits you like a wall, eyes rolling into your skull with the overwhelming sensation.

“look at me sweet girl, keep those pretty eyes on me,” and you’re looking back at jake, teary eyed and your plump mouth letting out these small whimpers each time his cock fucks into you.

jake’s leaning all of this weight into you, thrusts punctuated by these little whimpers of “yes, yes, yes,” that jake clenches behind his teeth, loosing all rhythm and rutting into your swollen walls to meet his own pleasure.

you’re wrapping around jake, head tucking into his shoulder as your bear the overstimulation. “please come, ma’jake,” you cry. it’s the first time you’ve used the endearment, which sends jake’s heart lurching in his chest and his orgasm tugging inside his belly.

“ohhh fuck, oh my fuck,” he moans, feeling the crescendo of his orgasm as he takes you to the hilt, spurting his hot cum inside of you. jake keeps you pinned, hot breath puffing against your cheeks as he rides the last shocks of pleasure.

when you tap his shoulder with a weak call of his name, jake lowers your body, supporting your shaky limbs as you remember what it feels like to stand.

and jake will spend at least another ten minutes kissing you against the tree, lazily swiping his tongue over your own. you jolt when his hand slithers between your thighs, gathering the mess of cum dripping from your folds and bringing it to your lips. the action used to be unfamiliar, but now you’re immediately taking his digits into your mouth, licking and swallowing the salty substance. the sight of your hollowed cheeks and fluttering lashes has jake groaning and claiming your mouth again.

“you’re so good to me, angel, so sweet an’ fuckin’ sexy,” jake tells you, leaving a few lingering kisses at the corner of your mouth.

he’ll tie your cloth around your hips, securing the knot at the base of your tail before leaving a quick slap on your bum, chuckling when you squeal and it quickly turns into a scowl that’s too cute for your own good. “let’s go hon’, losin’ daylight!” jake taunts, like it was your idea to fuck in the forest.

you’ll continue on the path, blushing madly at the thought of what you just did, what jake just did to you, out in the open for everyone and eywa to witness. you shake the thoughts, reminding jake of the tasks for today, using your ‘teacher voice’ as jake calls it.

“okay, okay,” he sighs in mock exasperation, but then jake is pressing into your back, his fingers brushing the base of your skull. his palm gently wraps around your neck and he’s leaning in close to whisper in your ear.

“gonna have’ta fuck you again when we get home,” jake soothes into your ear, but some part of you already knew that, had become familiar with this routine over the last weeks. your heart thuds when jake mentions home, like his home is with you, like he wouldn’t be anywhere else on the planet.

na’vi terms:

-tìfnu- quiet/ silence

notes: okay i can’t help but get a lil sappy with jake! that’s my baby, let me indulge okay? hope u enjoyed! leave some love 🩷

[hey-august]

May Event - Winner (NSFW | Buggy X Marine!GN!Reader)

Y'all, I know this is so so late. We're more than halfway through July, but hopefully the wait is worth it.

Finally! This story concludes the May event! 💦

(In case you missed it, throughout May I posted polls for various masturbation scenarios. Each one got a short story and the final winner - oral - got a longer fic. And here we are!)

Thanks to everyone who voted, commented, reblogged, liked, and read! Sorry that this story took so long, but I hope you enjoyed the event overall!

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: NSFW, mdni, Buggy x GN!reader, marine!reader, established situationship / relationship, autofellatio - buggy, misuse of devil fruit powers of course, manual stimulation - gn!reader.

The first two knocks went unheard and unanswered. So did the following set of knocks. The sharp flurry that barraged the wooden door next had tossed aside politeness for annoyance that couldn’t go unnoticed. Inside the room, Buggy winced and choked out a rushed response.

“One sec…gimme one s-” His strangled reply was cut short by a muffled thud and expletives that skittered across the floor.

A moment later, the hotel room door was unlocked and pulled open for you. A lone hand waggled it’s fingers energetically and reached out, palm upwards. You accepted the gesture and placed your hand on his. The floating appendage guided you into a rented room that matched the dreamy opulence of moonlit conversations and alcohol-laden promises.

The pirate himself was in the middle of the room, standing on a plush ornate carpet and performatively dusting himself off with one hand and a stumped forearm. This was not standard habitat for dust bunnies or roaches. The room was nearly spotless, aside from a fold in the rug where he had tripped, the few pieces of costume and clothes that had already been shed, and wrinkles on the duvet cover.

Buggy tugged at his clothes and raked back his loose hair, before recalling his hand and spreading his arms wide.

“Right on time for the show,” he said with a grin far more vibrant than the painted smile smudged across his face.

Usually you arrived at the chosen location before Buggy, so it was uncommon for him to be the one welcoming you. It was rare. Actually, this was the first time. Years and years of Marine training built you into the punctual, prim-and-proper opposite that the lollygagging, law-breaking pirate adored.

When you first met, a few drinks, some sly comments, and his head between your legs was enough for you to find a loophole that you two could fuck and flirt within. You explained the legal grey areas and outlined an agreement to follow, but Buggy couldn’t follow a single word. He could only follow the movements of your hips as you rolled and grinded you both to climax.

Thankfully, the agreement was simple enough to be left in a message and read in the late morning with a skull-breaking hangover. Wait until he received another note - you’ll find a neutral location, somewhere safe for rules and broken protocols, and let the pirate know when to show up.

Buggy had lost count of how many notes he had received (nine - and he had them all shoved in a desk drawer). Still, every time he saw you, it felt like stepping into the afternoon sun. Warm, soothing, and wonderfully blinding.

You hardly had time to compliment Buggy’s unexpected timeliness without his lips pressed against yours. “I like this kind of welcome, Captain,” you slipped between kisses.

Fuck, that sounded so nice coming from your mouth. It tasted sweet, like honey. Buggy worked quickly to peel off your uniform. His movements were erratic, focused more on getting backstage access than lifting the entire curtain. Your half un-done top was pulled off your shoulder, exposing your neck and part of your chest for Buggy’s hungry attention.

“Thanks babe, n-no stains on the uniform,” you sighed while running fingers through his hair.

Yes, yes - he remembered this time and Buggy absolutely deserved your appreciation and praise. He wanted more. He loved listening to you talk.

Buggy felt you shift under him, giving assistance and picking up the fragments of his explosive desire. You unfastened the rest of your uniform, freeing yourself from all of the stark white clothing that constrained your body and kept you two apart. Buggy groaned against your skin. Soft and hot, perfect for those little bites that made you squeak and dig your fingers into any part of him that was in reach. He stiffened - twice - when your hands drifted lower, looking for more buttons, zippers, and buckles to fiddle with. The list of clothing barriers running through Buggy’s mind stopped abruptly when you paused after unbuttoning his pants.

Shit. He forgot something.

You reached into his pants, slipping below his underwear. Maybe you didn’t notice. As you wrapped a hand around his throbbing erection, Buggy melted against you. Resting his head on your shoulder, he huffed with each stroke and pressed pretty kisses against your skin.

“Tell me, Captain… What do you do when we’re not together?” Your composed voice flipped his stomach. It brought a calmness that managed created more chaos in his frenzied body. How did your voice always make him hornier than ever?

“I m-make do…”

“How?”

“The usual ways,” Buggy mumbled against your neck. He wouldn’t say it now, but that was a dumb fucking question.

You dragged a finger along his leaking tip, coaxing out precum and a full-body shudder from the pirate, before pulling your touch away and breaking out of his loose embrace.

“And what are ‘the usual ways’ for a Chop-Chop Man?” You broke into a teasing lilt. “I want to know what you were doing before I arrived.”

Oh fuck. You noticed.

You held up a hand, the afternoon sun catching on the collected drops. You knew.

“N-nothing! I was just waiting f-” Buggy’s indignant stammer was cut short by your finger pressed against his lips, forcing him to taste the familiar salty flavor.

You took your mostly cleaned finger and wiped the edge of his painted mouth.

“Don’t lie to me, you’re better than that. You’re normally not this…disheveled.”

Buggy frowned, ready to disagree, but your hand on his chin stopped the words.

“I like it, I just want to know what you were doing. I want you to show me.”

You were using that voice again. So fucking alluring and intoxicating, words that drift in one ear and out the other, saying things that Buggy would agree to without another thought. So he nodded, your hand following his bobbing head. The smile you gave was the perfect reward for his agreement.

When you let go of his chin, Buggy felt his confidence also depart. The horny feeling bubbling inside gave way to nerves that the pirate tried to push down. He glanced at you, half-hoping that he imagined the entire conversation and you were waiting to fuck not for him to…

The hunger in your eyes was beautifully intimidating. It was dangerous. Your expression shifted, your smile pulled tighter with expectation. Buggy’s eyes darted away to look at the bed before meeting your gaze and darting away again. A moment later, he gulped, nodded to himself, and tilted his head towards the bed.

“Take a seat in the spectator’s stand. VIP, the best seat…” Buggy chittered to distract himself while his hand detached and guided you to the plush bed.

You made yourself comfortable and leaned back against the wall of pillows. Decorative embroidered bolsters, tasseled throws, and plush down supported your nude frame. Buggy stood at the foot of the bed and shuffled his feet.

“Wow, this is a wonderful view.”

Poison. Your words were poison that quickly coursed through his body and Buggy was addicted. Aqua eyes locked with yours for a moment, and then the show started.

Buggy pulled his pants and underwear down, letting them catch on his thighs. His heavy cock bounced in the air, the tip red and slick. The slight curve upwards kept it from pointing directly at you. A wonderful view, indeed.

Rather than touching himself in one of the usual ways that might have been expected, Buggy reached up and placed his hands on either side of his head and removed it. Detached from himself, Buggy finally turned away from you. Getting his head into place was a practiced move. He knew exactly how to hold himself so that he could hear clearly. Where to level himself so precum smeared on his lips whenever his erection bobbed with anticipation. He also angled his body so you could see better.

With the feel of a kiss from his dick, Buggy paused. Is this what you expected? Is it what you wanted? He was full of desperate hope. Every beat in his chest echoed in one head and throbbed in the other.

“Keep going… You’re doing so well.”

His fingers twitched. Fuck, that’s what he needed. Opening his mouth, Buggy pulled his head down his hardness. His mouth was full and his mind was absolutely empty. Thinking was beyond impossible when his body had to process these feelings. There were so many. Too many.

The sensation of wet heat enveloping him. Warm breaths that tickled. A throat constricting around his cock. His balls pressing against a chin. A nose digging into his pelvis. His nose.

There was more. His mouth stretched wide open, aching with every pulse. The teasing taste of precum. Drool escaping. Tears pricking his eyes. Hands that grabbed, squeezed, and pet. The filthy sounds of grunts and groans, gagging and choking, obscene and wet noises.

The feeling of using and being used like this was indescribable.

“Fuck…”

The breathy word danced through his empty head like a butterfly.

“You take such good care of yourself.”

Buggy’s eyes rolled back and he sputtered on his cock, struggling to moan when there was no room in his mouth. He pulled his head back and took a moment to refill his lungs with fresh air.

“You like sucking yourself off, Captain? Looks like you’re really good at it,” you asked in a voice dripping with desire and moving in time with the hand between your own legs.

Buggy licked his lips and nodded against his hands.

“No, let me hear you say it.”

A sharp inhale preceded the next word. “Yeah, it’s real good. Tastes good. F-feels fucking amazing.”

“Of course it does, you know yourself so well. Can you show me what else makes you feel good?” you cooed, wanting as much as he’d give you.

Adjusting the hold on his head to one hand cradling the back, Buggy sucked and kissed his balls. His wet cock found a spot to rest on his face, next to his red nose. A freed hand joined the fun and wrapped itself around his erection. Buggy’s eyes fluttered. There was something about stroking his cock overhead while his mouth, chin, and balls were coated in spit that really got to him.

“Babe, look at you. You’re amazing, you know that?”

The endearment nearly tipped Buggy over the edge. The need in his body was too much and overflowing with the tears in his eyes. His stomach was clenched so tight, trying to hold back the orgasm that he wanted just as badly as he wanted this moment to last forever.

With shaking hands and weak knees, Buggy closed the gap between himself and the bed and placed his head right-side up on the edge of the mattress. He swiped a thumb across his lips, his mind split between the feeling of his soft swollen flesh and the firm touch from his calloused hand.

“You’re gonna explode, huh? Go ahead, honey, you deserve it.”

The eagerness in your voice was undeniable. Any restraint or composure was gone, there were no hints of your strict Marine background left clinging to your words. You were just as captivated by the degenerate pirate as he was with you.

“Fuck, I love it when you talk like that,” Buggy admitted breathlessly.

“I’ll keep talking if you keep sucking. C’mon Captain, I know you can do it.”

“D-don’t stop-” Out-of-sync movements stopped the rest of Buggy’s words and thrust them back into his mouth.

One hand gripped the hair on the top of his head, while his other arm stretched out to keep his frame propped up. The sharp pull of his hair and pressure from being pushed into the mattress was the right amount of uncomfortable. Once steadied, Buggy’s hips thrust back and forth, filling his mouth and throat.

Meanwhile, your voice continued to drift through the room. A sweet balance to his own rough treatment. Soft pet names, delicious encouragement, praise of how well he used himself, compliments for being so good and for taking himself so deep.

Buggy’s whole body was shaking. His face was wet. His jaw ached. His fist ached from holding his hair. He was close and all it took was the right words in the right order.

“You look so pretty crying on your cock.”

Everything went white. A second stretched into eternity as the switch was flipped and Buggy lost control. Cum hit the back of his throat and was pushed further with each stuttering thrust. It never made sense, but the hot liquid seamlessly transitioned from dripping down his throat to down into his stomach. A burning in his chest grew, feeding on tension and exhaustion, begging for air.

Buggy cried out around himself, choking and coughing through the tears that blurred his vision. As though moving on it’s own, Buggy’s body pulled his head away, shoving it towards the middle of the bed, before collapsing. His knees sunk to the floor, cushioned by the rug. The blanket grew taut as his body slide backwards with the movement.

Gentle hands picked up the discarded head and wiped his eyes. A few bleary blinks cleared away the cloudiness so Buggy could see your flushed face. You held him with such tenderness, taking care even when you adjusted your hold, not wanting to jostle him after all that exertion. Your thumb carefully pushed up a drop of cream that escaped the corner of his mouth and a tongue darted out to savor the taste.

“Good job, Buggs,” you said gently, before pressing a kiss to his sweaty forehead. The feeling lingered, sticky and sweet. “You’re not full yet, are you? Do you want to have another treat?”

“Yes,” Buggy gasped.

His head twisted desperately in your hands, blue hair dancing with the movement. Despite a stomach full of cum, the pirate’s hunger was insatiable and he wanted to be full of you. Always you.

[clovermarigold]

Daggers & Daffodils Chap. 29

Dagur x Reader

Hey everyone, So quick update. Guess who's going back to school! Which as you could imagine was the culprit for the late release. I had this sitting at about 500 words for a bit while also having to balance my second fic which had been un-updated for about 5 months. As a result, I'm rotating to have longer chapters to make up for the slow-release schedule. That being said, I do currently have the next chapter already drafted, so it should be coming somewhere in the next 10 days or so (hopefully). Sorry for the wait. And again, thank you for reading my cringy little fic <3

_________

Pain is becoming a concept too common for your liking. Emotional, physical, both? You were definitely experiencing both. The following week of your run in with the hunters was easily the second worst of your life. Only topped by having to wait at your brother's bedside after he lost his leg. 

Silver Tongue had always been your war horse. Your strong, brazen, and bullheaded friend who was there to be strong when you couldn't. Which was why seeing him in his current state was heart breaking. 

Wincing as he moved between his food and his bed. Which in itself was saddening, seeing as his species preferred to sleep upside-down. It was a shock when you had woken as a large weight covered you in your sleep. Only to be Silver Tongue, quietly howling as the sheets brushed against his raw and recovering wings. 

It infuriated you to no end, not only what had been done to your poor dragon, but how avoidable it was. Had they removed the arrows with the slightest amount of care, it would have been easily treatable. 

The fact that the hunters would have so little care for a dragon's wellbeing disgusted you to no end. All they saw was faulty merchandise they could sell at a discount. 'His hides already damaged beyond worth' Ryker's words sat ill in you. Oh, you would show him damaged beyond repair. You'd leave him nothing more than a stump to be hung on a mantle. The exact same treatment he no doubt gave to other unfortunate dragons.

You sighed, pausing in your ministrations. All father above, you were starting to sound like Dagur. Looking down at her hands, covered in oil she took a step back, grabbing a cloth to wipe them with. Too aggressive, both your mindset, and your grinding. Your poor mortar and pestle would be either empty or rubble at this rate.

Hiccup had tried to talk to you about what had happened on the hunter's ship but... It didn't get anywhere productive. Heather's betrayal was heavy on everyone's mind. Though some were in higher spirits than others. Fishlegs had taken to stop mentioning her all together. Likely to preserve a feeling of willful ignorance.  

Snotlout cried for a few minutes before returning to his usual annoying self. You don't doubt he took it personally, but it was a relief that he was taking it in a way that didn't seem unmanageable. 

The twins were being their usual selves, making light of the situation. Something you were grateful for, watching as the group either lightened or became annoyed. Anything was better than how you and Hiccup were taking it.

Your brother has a habit when it comes to stressful and harmful actions; blame himself and repress. Pointing this out to him of course does nothing but make him more upset. But the younger sister in you makes you do it anyways. Who else was going to call him out? Astrid?

Honestly, yes. But she was taking it a lot better than you thought she would. Though the fact that she was distancing herself from Hiccup was strange. Usually, the two were always together, something you teased the both of them for. 

And you... You would just have to get over it. Silver Tongue was hurt, the others could get themselves hurt at any time, and you were the only doctor on the edge. Just the other day Tuff was attacked by a wolf and was convinced that he was going to turn into a Lycan wing. And it took ages to get Snotlout back to full health after the days of venom, poison, and possible rabies that Ruff had subjected him to for punishment. 

On top of that you needed to pop his nose back into place after Hiccup Knocked him out. Something you did not plan to let him live down. What could you say. The Haddocks were known for their almighty hooks. 

And that was also ignoring the looming threat of the hunters finding out where your base was. The last thing they needed was you going off the deep end and losing your temper. Everyone is a mess right now. They need someone levelheaded for when things get rough. If that meant you would have to swallow your feelings and give up some sleep to avoid nightmares and anxiety bouts, so be it. 

A flash in your peripherals drew your attention towards the window facing the club house. Two flashes; meeting. A groan escaped you as you stood from your hunched over spot on the floor. How long had you been working. And why did you insist on not using the desk. Regardless, ziplining over as fast as possible would be a start.

The ziplines had become necessary for you more than ever. You used them prior, but with a dragon as jealous and hovering as Silver Tongue, there wasn't much need. On the positive side, you were definitely getting muscles from the daily workout. Though it was a pain that the club house was the only place with them. The number of stairs you had walked in the past week alone was enough to make you want to sleep until winter.

"Astrid? You're back already. Is Berk that boring?" you joked, rolling your shoulder as you approached the fire. "Never made it there. Johann Flagged me down on the way to Berk to tell me that he'd seen Ryker, Heatherm and the Dragon Hunters in the Northern Markets buying all the cold weather gear they could get their hands on" she explained.

"Why would you buy winter gear in the summer?" Snotlout raised a brow. Ruff crossed her arms, "Hello. That's when you get the best prices". Tuff nodded. "Ruff is an excellent shopper. She actually got both our outfits, two for the price of one".

"No one's surprised by that" Snot rolled his eyes. 

"Where would the hunters be going that would need heavy weather gear this time of year? Did Johann hear anything else?" Hiccup redirected everyone back on point.

"They needed the gear right away. And they were after something rare. A bone or a claw..." Hiccup answered for her, "Or maybe a tooth?".

"The Snowwraith of course!" Fishlegs cut in, "The dragon Hunters are after the Snowwraith to get one of its teeth".

"Yeah, good luck with that. We barely got out of there alive" Tuff deadpanned. "The dragon eye used to belong to the Hunters. They must know they need a Snowwraith tooth to make it work" hunters going after another dragon? Like Hel you were going to let that happen.

"Who cares? All it means is that they aren't coming our way" Snotlout shrugged. "Where do you think they're going after they get it Snot?" you glared at him.

"If they do get their own key, they'll be coming for us next" Hiccup looked across the group.

"Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking" Astrid tilted her head to the side and fixed your brother a look. "Oh, he's thinking. That's definitely his thinking face" the twins chided.

"We can't let that happen. Get a good night's sleep, gang. We leave tomorrow at first light" yes! Exactly what you wanted to hear.

"Time to break out the old coats again" Hiccup's eyes moved to you momentarily before turning to Astrid, who fixed him a look.

"Y/N can we talk?" A chorus of ooooos and uh-ohs came from Snotlout and the twins. Rolling your eyes you followed Hiccup outside of the club house. 

"Hey, what's going on?" you asked. Hiccup avoided looking at you shifting his weight from one side to the other, "Y/N... Solver Tongue is in no condition to fly".

"I know. I'll ride on the back of Toothless with you. It's no big deal-" He cut you off. "I just-.... I just think it would be best if you stayed back on this one".

"Stay back? Hiccup, you can't be serious" Hiccup winced at your growing agitation, "Why would I stay back just because Silver tongue needs some rest. I'm not useless!".

"I never said you were! Y/N, you are the only doctor we have here. And on top of that you're my sister.... If Dagur got a hold of you agai-", "Johann didn't say anything about him being there" you argued. 

"But he could be!" you looked him up and down, "You didn't care about any of this before. What changed?".

"I know when you're angry. And the last thing we need is you running off on a revenge mission. Look what that did to Heather" you didn't say anything, choosing to cross your arms and look away. "I can't lose you too. So, can you please promise me you won't leave the edge until you can act without clouded judgment? For me?".

A part of you knew he was right. You wouldn't be focused on finding the Snowwraith if you went. Your mind would be on Ryker the entire time. You would only get in the way.... "Ok. It's for the best". Hiccup pulled you into a tight embrace, "Thank you". 

"I can watch the base until you get back" you plastered a fake smile. "Thats the spirit. Won't be any surprise attacks with you here waiting to rip them a new one" Hiccup pat your back before heading towards his hut.

yeah.... for the best

~~~~~~

(Astrid POV)

"Hey, can I ask a stupid question?" Tuff called fro the air, "You sure can. Better than anyone I know" Ruff bumped him with her elbow, "Thank you sister".

"Hiccup, are we really trying to protect a dragon that the last time we saw it. tried to kill us, from Dragon Hunters, who every time we see them try to kill us? And Heather and her dragon. Don't forget them. They like to try and kill us, too" the twins ask. 

"Heather won't be a problem" Astrid said, almost out of reflex. 

Fishlegs looked at her confused, "Why wouldn't Heather be a problem?". Astrid fumbled for a moment. Looking between her hands and the sky beneath her, anywhere but the others. "Just that we... We outnumber her, right?". 

"Look, Heather or no Heather, all we have to do is find the Snowwraith first and relocate it to an island where the Hunters won't find him".

Astrid tuned out of the rest of the conversation, everything was ok, everything was going to plan. She got the group here without any suspicion, now all they had to do was get the Snowwraith somewhere safe. But first... she had to get away from the others.

Diving down into the storm of the island where the Snowwraith was last, no sign of the was found. 

"This is summer on Glacier island? No wonder they don't get any tourists," said Ruff. "What would their slogan be? If the Snowwraith doesn't kill you, the weather will" Ruff nodded in agreement at her brother. 

"That's a terrible slogan, but the good news is, if we run into any Dragon Hunters, they won't have any luck with those dragon root arrows in this weather" Hiccup smiled.

"And the bad news is" Astrid turned over to see Snotlout covered by the shaking twins, latched onto him for warmth, "What are you doing?".

"It's called body heat management. Also known as the Thorston sandwich, served cold" they said as though it were obvious.

"That's horrifying. Why don't you set up camp. Astrid and I will scout the island" She released some of the grip on her arms she hadn't realized was there. With the weather as bad as it was, and Hiccup offering to go off on their own, sneaking off would be easier than she thought initially. 

"See anything down there?" Hiccup asked over the roaring winds. "I can barely see you half the time" it wasn't a lie, the snow fell like knives in buckets, almost waterboarding them, she just also happened to be nudging in the other direction at an undetectable rate. "Maybe we should split up, cover more ground?" she offered.

"No. Stick together. It's safer. Ok?" she didn't respond, pretending not to hear over the storm.

'Sorry Hiccup' she thought, before diving downwards as the next thrum of the storm blinded them both enough for a swift exit.

Stormfly squawked towards the ground. Looking down at the barely perceivable ridges of the mountain she was able to just make out the faint glow of a campfire. "Easy girl. I see 'em. Let's go in another way" she couldn't be too careful, there was a chance it could be rogue hunters. 

Approaching from the ground confirmed her first thought as they approached on foot, seeing the back of a silver frosted dragon, wings spread wide to protect its rider from the cold.

"Well well well. Heather. Fancy seeing you here. Surprised to see us?" She taunted, having snuck up on them. 

"Surprised?" Heather stood, unsheathing her axe, "not really, I've been listening to you stomp around in the snow for the past five minutes".

"What took you so long" Heather lowered her mask and hood, running into a hug that Astrid was all too eager to respond in kind "Hiccup isn't the easiest person to sneak away from".

"Yeah, Ryker thinks I'm out scouting. How did you get him to come down here. anyways?" the two of them sat next to the fire. "I just told him what you told me but let him think it was coming from Trader Johann. Any problems on your end?".

"Well, Ryker doesn't trust anyone, and Dagur is paranoid, but so far I think I'm okay" that was a relief, "You took care of Dagur?".

"I sent him on a fool's errand, looking for a second Dragon Eye" she laughed. "That should keep him busy. So, fill me in" Heather reached into her side bag to pull out a map of the island, "We've been here two days searching pretty methodically. According to Ryker, the Snowwraith Digs an ice cave to hibernate in during the summer".

"That explains the rush to get out here. Probably to get a tooth from a hibernating Snowwraith", "Exactly" Heather nodded.

"Too bad we don't know where the cave is" Heather looked at her with a snarky grin, telling her that she already did. "Windshear and I spotted a cave on a plateau about halfway up that mountain" she pointed, "You find a way to get Hiccup to check it out. Meanwhile, I'll tell Ryker I didn't find anything and try to keep him as far away as possible".

It was a solid plan but.... "What?" Heather must have been able to read the obvious confliction on her face. "We should tell Hiccup what we're doing, this doesn't feel right" Heather put a hand on her forearm, "No we agreed". Astrid pulled away, holding her elbow, "I've never lied to him before".

"I know. But this is the best way to take the Dragon Hunters down, from the inside". Astrid wasn't fully convinced, as reasonable as Heather was being, leaving Hiccup in the dark felt unnatural, "Hiccup could help us. He's really good at this stuff".

"He also cares too much. If we told Hiccup that I was spying on the Hunters, we both know he would try to pull me out of there. I'm this close to getting to Viggo. I can't quit now" Astrid tried to argue but she wasn't wrong. Just the idea that you would do a fraction of what Heather did was enough for Hiccup to bench you. Something that made Astrid feel guilt to no end over.

Here you were being told to stay home because Hiccup was afraid of you going off on your own, putting yourself and others in danger, and lying. Yet here she was doing exactly that.

"I really hope your right, because if any of the riders got hurt, or you got hurt because I held something back--" Heather put an arm around her shoulders, "Nothing will go wrong. Trust me".

"Just... Please be careful. Hiccup is overwhelmed now as it is. And with no doctor with us--". "No doctor?" Heather asked, "Y/N isn't with you?". 

"Hiccup held her back because he's afraid she'll do what you did to Dagur with Ryker" Heather shifted uncomfortably at the idea "How's Silver Tongue?". Astrid's hand subconsciously drifted to Stormfly, "Not great. Hunter's left him in pretty bad shape. She's barely sleeping with him in this shape". 

"You know...Cooping her up in the edge isn't going to do anything for her either" said Heather, "I may not like him any better, but being able to get a few swings at Dagur put me in less of a rush to bury him". Astrid huffed a laugh, "careful, it's starting to sound like you think he gives good advice".

"I'm just saying he's not always wrong. Ugh, ew. Never mind that felt wrong to say. Just get out of here and save that Snowwraith before I say anything else gross" the two laughed.

~~~~~~

Bored..... bored bored bored bored. You laid on your back, feet against the wall, and upper body hanging up-side-down off the bed. Silver Tongue was busy hogging the majority of it. While Scabbard was busy trying to eat your dangling hair. 

You weren't used to having this much time to yourself. A few weeks ago, you would have begged for this, but now...

Knowing that your own emotions were responsible for you being benched. Why couldn't you just not take things personally. Screw Dagur and his 'you need to express your emotions' ideologies. That train of logic is why you were stuck with a lazy injured lump and mischievous rat while the others were at risk without a doctor.

Maybe you should take up meditation. No, all that would do is leave you either asleep or daydreaming of strangling Ryker. The only reason you weren't imagining it now was Scabbards sharp tugs against your scalp. 

Silver Tongue would be better in a few days, the others would be back in a few hours, and dinner would be finished in a few minutes. All great and positive things, why couldn't you just enjoy that and move on. Be the great pillar of patience and sarcasm the group expected you to be. Like your father. Like your brother. 

Instead, here you were moping, covered in dragon drool, and an ache in your head. "You understand. Right, girl?" Scabbard paused her gummy gnawing on the band of your hair. Blank and thoughtless eyes staring up at you as if you were her world and nothing else mattered.

With a grunt you sat up, shaking away the light headedness and moved to the club house zip line. You admit, holding on for dear life immediately after being up-side-down wasn't the best idea, but you were able to hold on long enough not to plummet down into what likely would be a sprained ankle. 

Cooking was a skill you were mediocre at. You knew how to season, arguably the bast in the group thanks to your knowledge of herbs, but that didn't mean you never burnt or undercooked your meats before. 

Scabbard took her place at your feet, licking her lips as she waited for the inevitable scraps that would come her way. Your nose crinkled at the unmissable black char covering nearly half the mutton. "If they didn't want burnt food, they shouldn't have left me alone to do it" you reasoned, throwing a large chunk onto the floor where your ravenous dragon was quick to inhale and link the floor clean. 

The unmistakable sound of wings beating alerted you that the others were no doubt back sooner than you anticipated. "Ugh, what caught fire in here" Tuff complained, fanning the residual smoke away. "Suck it " you glared at him. "No thank you, I prefer medium rare".

"How did it go?" you asked watching as the others filed in, unreadable expressions plastering them all. All except for Hiccup and Astrid that is. "I don't know why don't you tell me Astrid?" Your brother asked, betrayal and hurt evident.

Astrid crossed her arms as she looked across the room, guilt clear, "Heather pretended to join Dagur to get close to him to avenge her family. When she found out about his alliance with the Dragon Hunters, she decided to get closer to him to find out more".

"Wait, Heather is a spy?" you asked incredulously to no reply.

"But when Ryker captured us on the ship you and Heather were fighting all the time" Ruff pointed out, confused.

"That's what we wanted you to think" Snotlout interrupted. "Heather's not evil? There goes that dream". Fishlegs clasped his hands together and cooed, "Aw, I knew she had a good heart".

"Hiccup, would you say something? Please" Astrid asked as he avoided eye contact, "We're supposed to be a team Astrid".

"I know. I should've told you. I wanted to. I really did-","But you didn't" the others pursed their lips, drowning in secondhand embarrassment. "I'm sorry. But without Heather, the Dragon Hunters would have a key to the Dragon Eye right now and those Snowwraiths would not be safely hidden on another island".

"That still doesn't explain why you wouldn't let me take her and Ryker down. We could have captured the head of the Dragon Hunters" Hiccup argued.

"Hiccup, Ryker isn't the head of the Dragon Hunters" you all looked at her caught off guard, "According to Heather, their real leader is somebody named Viggo Grimborn".

"Awesome name. Scary, but awesome" Ruff shook her head in thought. "I don't know Viggo Grimdeath would be cooker. Or how about Gore Grimskull. Grimskull!~" Tuff sang out before you elbowed him in the ribs to get him to shut up.

"He lives in the shadows. Everyone's afraid of him, even Ryker. Heather hasn't met him yet, but she's our best shot at drawing him out" to Astrid's and admittedly your chagrin, Hiccup turned away. After a moment of thought, "Well, I hope she knows what she's doing. For all our sake".

The group let out a silent breath of relief that they wouldn't be stuck with grumpy stick up the rear Hiccup and began to eat dinner or file into their rooms. 

"Great. Astrid keeps secrets and gets a slap on the wrist, meanwhile I get grounded" you said to yourself, intending to be joking, but hurt still evident.

"You're not grounded Y/N" Hiccup said, having eaves dropped on your conversation with yourself.

"I just didn't want you going after Ryker by yourself in the snow without a dragon" you rolled your eyes, "Like I'd be that dumb". Your brother side eyed you.

You smirked, "I'd steal your dragon and go after him" you joked, turning away from him as he mocked offence.

For the best, you told yourself. For the best.

Taglist

~~~~

@demogorgon-master1

@mj-jabami

@alicee-carter

@amearla

@milenaester14

[prettynpete]

firsts - patrick stump

summary: after several nights of cuddles and make out sessions. you are ready to take things to the next level and lose your virginity to your boyfriend.

word count: 1475

warnings/tags: smut, fem!reader, futct!patrick x virgin!reader, established relationship, loss of virginity, praise, fingering, oral (m!receiving), l-bomb

authors note: this is the first fic i’ve written in a hot minute and my first ever fob fic so bear with me :) the idea for this actually stemmed from a genderswapped peterick fic i read on livejournal the other night. i liked how patrick was so protective and careful and i wanted to do my own little x reader spin on the concept of losing your v-card to patrick. please feel free to leave your opinion in the replies. thank you reader!! :)

link to inspiration:

(girl!pete x patrick from 2007)

taggging: @domripley @heelbucks

cuddling up was yours and patrick’s usual end to the day, except tonight felt a smidge different. you and patrick snuggled up in the living room of your apartment as usual and you turned on a cheesy horror movie. you leaned into him, as close as you could and as he watched the screen you couldn’t help but shimmy closer into him and place your lips to his neck. patrick let out a shaky breath and shifted slightly.

“sweetheart. you don’t want to watch the movie? do you?” he cooed, moving his hand that was around your shoulder to caress your scalp.

“nooooo. just wanna play.” you avowed meekly.

“baby. you know all you have to do is say the words. i’m all yours.”

and just like that, patrick had moved you from your cuddled position and you were now facing eachother on the couch. he brushed your hair behind your ear and pressed a soft peck to your lips, hands holding onto your waist. as he pulled away from the kiss you wrapped your arms around him and straddled him. his breath caught in his throat and he attached his mouth to your neck, sucking and peppering kisses as you grinded on his pajama pants clad lap.

you flipped between making out and marking eachothers necks for what felt like just a few moments. times like this always seemed to fly by. you and patrick never let things get much more heated than making out and and sloppy handjobs, but tonight was different. tonight, that wasn’t enough. tonight you wanted to play and this sexual yet tame show of affection wasn’t cutting it. you broke away from his lips and played with the hem of shirt, looking into his eyes, begging for permission. he nodded, his facial expression showing a mix of excitement and fear. you pulled his shirt over his head and leaned down to suckle on his chest. leaving soft purple bruises in your wake as you moved down his chest to his soft stomach. you nibbled less hardly and murmured praising words as you moved to the waistband of his pants.

“how’d i get so lucky to be with such a beautiful man?” you looked up at his face. his eyes were doe like as he stared down at you. willing you to keep going.

“is it okay if i…?”

“yes sweet girl.” he breathed out softly. “yes please.”

and that was all you needed to keep going. you wriggled the waistband off his hips to the middle of his thighs. your jaw dropped and you simply stared at the wonderful sight in front of you. you smiled up at him and wrapped your hand around his semi-hard dick. he let out a quiet whimper as you gently stroked him. he bucked his hips into your hand and you leaned down to lick the tip.you soon wrapped your lips around him and slowly sucked. his hands tangled in your hair, urging you to pick up the pace.

“please darling. you can go faster.” he whimpered and you listened, hollowing your cheeks and moving to slightly faster pace. he didn’t want his first blowjob by you to be too much so he in between focusing on his own pleasure, he also scanned your face and actions for any signs of discomfort. once he made sure you were good, hos hips continued to buck and his hands gripped at your hair, manuevering your head to bob at his desired speed.

“fuck sweetheart, i think i’m close.” patrick moaned. you paused, sliding your lips from his dick with a pop sound. a sound between a whine and a yelp came from his throat as you worked your way up to straddle his waist. his eyes were big and glassy as he looked at you.

“is everything okay love? why’d you stop?”

“patrick. i want you.”

“you got me baby. tell me what you want.”

“i’m ready. i want you to fuck me.”

he instantly sobered up from his pre-orgasm drunken state and looked into your eyes with love and concern.

“are you sure? baby, sex is a huge deal and i don’t want to push anything. are you positive that you’re ready? because we don’t have to if you don’t want…” you cut him off with a kiss.

“i’m ready. no ifs. no buts. i’m one hundred percent sure i’m ready to be fully yours.”

“you’re already fully mine. don’t do this just because you think it’s what i want.”

“i want this.”

and with that he carefully flipped you over on the small cushions. there was just enough room for him to position his legs on either side of you. he couldn’t help but giggle softly at his view, you underneath him, fully available for his taking. he played with the lace at the bottom of your tank top before pulling it up over your head and quickie sliding down to slip off your shorts.

“now baby. i have to warm you up a bit first.” patrick said peeling your underwear down and opting to kneel by the couch due to the lack of room.

“tell me if anything feels off or hurts.” he said in a slightly commanding tone before sliding a finger inside and using his free hand to stroke your shoulder.

now he had fingered you on occasions before but it was always very gentle and soft, focusing more on clit stimulation rather than actually fucking you with his fingers. he watched your face as you gasped in pleasure and inserted another soft digit inside you, scissoring them. the stretch burned sweetly and you hissed, prompting him to pause. you whined and glanced into his eyes begging him to continue. he listened and moved his fingers at a gentle pace. “fuck baby. your so wet for me. such a good girl for me.” he gleamed, voice full of praise.

“think you’re ready for more?”

“yes. patrick please.”

he inserted a third finger and moved them all in a come hither motion for what felt like an eternity, before leaning down to press his kiss-plumped lips to yours. he moved again to his spot on top of you, placing his hips in between your legs and removing his fingers, just to reposition his thumb to your clit. you whined and wrapped your arms around him.

“i’m gonna go slow, okay sweetheart.” he murmured, gripping himself and giving a few tugs before pressing just tip inside and resting for a moment allowing you to adjust to the sweet burning sensation. your eyes screwed shut as you focused on the pain and pleasure of the stretch. his eyes focused on your face and he brought his free hand up to caress your face, whispering soft words of praise as he pushed in slightly.

the pain dissipated into a nice full feeling and you tightened your arms around his back. he enveloped you in a passionate kiss and buried himself in you. the kisses soon moved about your face and down your neck.

“sweet girl… i love you so much… i… love… all of you… you feel incredible.” he whimpered out inbetween pecks. he thrusted in and out of you now, moving slowly as not to get to rough just yet. you opened your eyes and nearly cried out at the sight. his head was buried in your neck, his hair was disheveled, the porcelain skin of his back shimmered with sweat. you tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him to be face-to-face. his face was even more stunning with flushed cheeks and glazed over eyes.

“patrick, i think i’m close.” you breathed and his movements quickened. his eyes bore into yours and you stared back before squeezing your eyes shut and coming done around him, wrapping your legs tightly around his hips in the process. ecstasy ran through your veins as you cried out and your eyes fluttered open to watch his face contort beautifully. a warm feeling filled your belly, followed by the emptiness of him pulling out.

you both layed there for a few minutes, wrapped up in eachother and recuperating from the high of climaxxing. when you moved in an effort to sit up he whined in protest but reluctantly moved off of you to allow you to return to your previous cuddling on the couch. the movie was in it’s credit by this point, so you grabbed the remote and turned the tv off. you both soaked in the feelings of naked snuggles on the couch. a thought soon grabbed your attention and you kissed patrick on the cheek.

“pat.” you said, leaning your head down onto his shoulder.

“yeah baby.”

“i love you too.”

he smiled brightly and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

it was a night of a two very important firsts.

[tree-stump-removal]

Stump Grinding Berkshire: Discover Why Stump Busters is Your Ultimate Solution for Stump Removal

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[smt4flynn]

curtained

Exhibitionism with Astarion and Tav? o0o

Content Includes: PIV, R18, minors stay awaaaaaaaaaay, reader-insert, nebulous timeline, and exhibitionism.

You can also read this on AO3 if you want ('-')b same name, by Voidromeda

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It isn’t that odd for the rest of the camp to find you curled onto Astarion’s lap, hugging him tightly while wrapped up in a blanket or several, his chin resting atop your head. It’s a strange habit of yours, they observe, that you tend to wrap yourself up tightly in blankets before hunkering down and just closing your eyes. You cannot trance like the elves, lowly tiefling that you are (“you know we’re not lowly, right, soldier?” Karlach says to you one day, when she notices you with that far away stare; her arms tense, eyes slip shut, and goes, “we’re amazing, you and I. We are.”), so you settle for a normal meditation to try and clear your mind.

Exercise won’t help you much, not really. Not right now at the very least. Over time, Astarion begins to notice how you seem to enjoy curling in on yourself, all alone and almost looking cold if not for the way you wrap yourself up so tight in your blankets. Eventually, when emotional honesty isn’t both setup and punchline for Astarion, you find yourself settling into his lap nowadays for your little meditation sessions. Despite him not really feeling changes in temperatures, or even being bothered by them, you always make sure he is involved in your cotton cocoon. You feel so small in comparison to everyone else, sometimes finding it something to be a bit ashamed by, but now, as you are in Astarion’s lap, sized perfectly to slot into him, you find you do not mind your height differences that much.

This, however, is not a definitely appropriate use of your meditative time. There is a tree stump in your camp this time around, something Astarion takes advantage of to lean back against while he cradles you on his lap. You wrap your arms tightly around him, face pressed into his neck, shivering against him while your breath puffs onto his faded bite scars, and you momentarily curse yourself for wearing an easily accessible casual wear instead of pants like you usually do.

It doesn’t take much effort from a mischievous Astarion, eyes twinkling aglow with something innocuously sinister, an utter oxymoron of intent you are aware but your mind does not have any better way to describe it, untie the straps of his pants and bare himself to the world. Underwear, he decides this day, is apparently optional.

“Keep it hush, hush, darling,” Astarion says quietly while your claws bunch the back of his poet’s blouse, legs quaking on either side of him, while he makes sure your many blankets are covering them enough so that others won’t notice what you’re doing. He is already hard when he brings himself out – has he been fantasizing about this? You don’t get to ask, not when his hands roll the hem of your gown up, bunching it at your hips, and he simply pulls aside the gusset of your panties to gain access to your vulva.

He doesn’t spend too long fingering you open, reluctant as he is to stop (“I love it when you lose yourself on my fingers,” he hisses feverishly to you, his free hand pressing down on your mouth so that the noises don’t escape his tent, “so sweet, always so sweet and stoic with a polite little smile, yet you turn into something degenerate at the hands of something you. Should. Hate. Oh, you are so good at making my ego swell!”), and it isn’t long before the swollen head of his cock presses against your hole. There is only minute resistance before your muscles relax, letting him push you down onto him, making your vagina swallow him up slowly, casually.

That is how you find yourself desperately clinging to him; his shape, ever since the first time, always feels so perfect inside of you, keeping you delightfully open as he pushes in deep. Your vagina flutters around him, your hips grinding in slow circles at his behest while you are delighting in the wonderful feeling of him (now) hot and throbbing inside of you. You feel him hum before you hear it, keeping up the pretense of enjoying a relaxing time with you, and not that he is currently balls deep inside of your cunt, that one hand isn’t resting on your ass cheek to help you move, to help you grind against him, envious he is of the fact that he cannot flush like you are right now. His other hand rests lazily atop your thigh, feeling the quiver of your muscles.

The bustle of the camp keeps making you jolt into him, moving him around inside of you, constantly making you lose the best spot where his cock presses and tortures that erogenous, swollen gland inside of you, and it isn’t helped by the fact that Astarion only helps you move, doesn’t help you reposition yourself. You have to keep shifting by yourself, trying to keep it inconspicuous so that they don’t ask you why you’re squirming so much. You know, especially, that Gale will notice – extremely attentive and perceptive, that one, though you don’t want the wizard to notice that your hole is getting red and swollen from being constantly speared open around Astarion’s thick cock. You can only nuzzle into him, trying to hide how heavily you’re breathing, all the while Astarion just gives you little pets on the thigh, disguising a moan as a sigh when you cuddle into him.

It looks casual, like you are just relaxing into him, your movements not enough to make the blankets shift and fall off, yet also not enough to satisfy that deep ache inside of you; pathetically, you want him to just scoop you up into his arms, maybe while still staying inside of you, your joining still kept hidden, before walking you out into a clearing to properly fuck you. You muffle a whimper into his shoulder as you imagine being held up by him, him walking casually around with you in his arms while still balls deep inside of you, holding you tight to him so that you can only feel the twitch and throbbing of his erection.

The mage hand he quietly summons does not help matters much either, invisible as always and not breaking it even when two spectral fingers finally help pull your clitoral hood back to get at the swollen, erect clit hidden beneath. You are dripping all over his lap, no doubt staining his nice leather pants with your pre; you are so shamefully wet, how is no one hearing you? Even the tiniest of wet squelches as you circle your hips around him, clenching tight and barely bouncing on his cock, is so painfully loud in your ears -

His hand lifts off of your thigh to ruffle your hair, tilting your head back with gentle tugs so that he can give you a sweet peck on the forehead – “d’awww!” you hear Karlach call out from whatever she is doing, always so supportive of you two, and embarrassment jolts hot through you. Your blush darkens on your cheeks and Karlach laughs in good humour, assuming it to be because sweet affections like this are still far and few between with Astarion. You see Shadowheart give you a slight smile from the corner of your eyes and you turn your head, missing the way Wyll gives the two of you a slight wave before he needles Gale to do something with him.

“You’re doing well.” Astarion whispers to her, voice unfairly even, as if Lae’zel isn’t cleaning her armour a small distance away. Like you aren’t tormented by the fact that the only thing you’re doing is warm his cock, barely getting to bounce and get fucked like you want. You want to cry, you want to moan loud and free, inside of muffling yourself into his shoulder, teeth biting at his blouse, trying not to be noisy. The movement on your clit is so good, the mage hand rolling it lazily, sometimes dipping down to stroke along where his cock is opening you up.

It feels good. It isn’t enough – you want Astarion to move, you want him to let you move. You ache so deeply, a knot tightening in your abdomen, yet the hand on your ass, the way his free arm now wraps around you to keep you pressed up to him, keeps you grounded, restrained. You hear Lae’zel murmur something to herself in gith, Shadowheart is talking to Halsin about something else, and Gale is explaining one thing or another to Wyll.

The day is still so bright and hot. You must be drooling into his shoulder, growing wetter and wetter the more you are denied the right to move; “Good pet,” he praises quietly, and you sink your teeth harshly into your lower lip when another mage hand apparates, taking the prior one’s place on rubbing and stroking your clit, stimulating that bundle of nerves roughly. Silence is torture and you sniffle; the former hand is still stroking your stretched hole and you almost jump out of his lap if not for him keep you tethered down when fingers push into the tight stretch of your vagina.

You want to cum, you need to cum, you need to – you pant against his neck, whimpering pleas into his skin, and Astarion practically purrs above you from your responses. Your eyes practically roll into your head – are you truly this pathetic that minute, barely there movement is going to get you off? You are teetering so close, and -

The mage hands disappear. All of the hot, feverish touching is gone and you are crashing back down, as if sobering abruptly from far too many drinks, and you hiccup into his skin, completely taken aback. You are shaking, not enough for anyone but Astarion to notice, and he presses another sweet, loving kiss against your forehead.

“Sit, behave.” Astarion whispers. “You don’t get to cum yet, darling. I don’t want us to, not just yet – you’re going to keep me inside you until I go soft, and then, you aren’t allowed to touch yourself, hm? Not until I give you permission to again.” you huff against him. You want to slap him, you want to cry, you want to beg. “... but any time you want to stop,” he reminds you and you just sniffle and nod into his skin, and Astarion almost sighs in relief. “For now, just be good, sit, and behave. I’ll come for you later.”

You hope he keeps to that promise. It is utterly cruel of him to deny you like this, but you also don’t want to disobey him. So, like a good dog with its tail wagging, you obey the command you are given and try to just relax into him, while your pussy flutters around his hard cock. This, you think, is going to take a while.

[mayertreema]

Air Spading A Sugar Maple

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[agentnico]

Top 10 Best Movies of 2024

Happy New Year everyone! Thank you to the two or three of my blog readers or the random Tumblr users who come across one of my reviews - always appreciate you spending your time reading my gibberish. 2024 - what a disappointing year for cinema. Naturally a primary cause for this was the SAG-AFTRA artist strike in 2023 that has had a ripple effect, however another reason would be that Hollywood is more-than-ever running out of ideas. It’s not that there were particularly bad movies, but more so okay films that left one underwhelmed. From big budget fare such as Gladiator 2, Moana 2, Deadpool & Wolverine, Argylle, The Lord of the Rings: War of the Rohirrim offering limited but forgettable entertainment, and even the indie market struggling, as I found myself hardly captivated by the likes of Longlegs, Drive-Away Dolls, The Vourdalak, MaXXXine and The Return, to name a few. It’s been a very so-so year. Nevertheless there’s always some movies that manage to offer that element of escapism we all seek from the theatrical journey, so here are my picks for my favourite films of 2024 (in my humblest of opinions of course)…

[DISCLAIMER: I have not yet seen A Complete Unknown and The Brutalist, so those will not be considered on this list, though I am very much looking forward to seeing both, especially The Brutalist]

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Juror #2; The Last Stop in Yuma County; Challengers; The Beast; A Quiet Place: Day One; Late Night with the Devil

10 - WALLACE & GROMIT: VENGEANCE MOST FOWL - “He’s back! Again!” So I have been absolutely sleeping on these Wallace & Gromit joints. Me and my wife were in stitches after watching this new Aardman stop motion with its irreverent humour and wacky hijinks. Wallace is a self-absorbed prick, Feathers McGraw is one of the best silent villains in cinematic history and Gromit is bae. After seeing it we have since been on an endless binge of all the Wallace & Gromit shorts and films on BBC and have fallen in love with this cheese-loving mongrel of an inventor and his loyal friendly doggo. Yet Vengeance Most Fowl I still believe is maybe their best outing yet, as it takes everything that is great about this franchise and delivers it in one entertaining hilarious package. Also I can only imagine how much time it takes up for Aardman to do all the stop motion animation, with it taking weeks to make maybe only 30 seconds of footage. It’s impressive, and the result is one of the most heartwarming comedic gold features of 2024. Oh, and those Peter Kay one-liners are on point!

9 - FLOW - The Robot Dreams of 2024. A wonderful, beautiful and immersive experience- a true vibe of a movie. Still questioning how these animals know how to drive a boat, but I’m happy to suspend my sense of disbelief and assume these creatures went to boat school in favour of admitting that this is my favourite animated feature of this year. Great for cat lovers too!

8 - WICKED - Look, I’m as stumped as anyone about the fact that Wicked is on my Top 10 list. I’m trying to let that sink in…. Wicked in my Top 10… Wicked in my Top 10… Ugghh it grinds my gears it does!! Nevertheless, it’s a perfect adaptation of the musical stage production with catchy songs and superstar turns from Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. My wife has also been non-stop singing “woooooo” from Defying Gravity ever since, so she evidently approves too. Now leave me be, I simply must be loathing… unadulterated loathing… For your face, your voice, your clothing… Let's just say, I loathe it all!!

7 - HERETIC - I shall never listen to “All the Air That I Breathe” by The Hollies the same again. Hugh Grant delivers the most entertaining and uneasy religious studies lecture in history, by comparing the Bible and Quran to Monopoly - baller ass move, and a most entertaining little thriller.

6 - CONCLAVE - In my eyes Conclave is a stunning piece of work. It manages to take what one would assume as such a simple premise, yet manages to entangle it with so many threads of twists and turns, as such turning a political and religious drama into a true mystery thriller, with Fiennes character acting as a detective, unravelling the dirty secrets of all the Pope candidates. Partner that with the great acting, sublime cinematography and a slow but engaging pace with a script filled with wit and realism, and we have ourselves one hell of a motion picture! Oh, and less one forget about the most diabolical vape hit ever!

5 - THE SUBSTANCE - Conclave may feature the most diabolical vape hit of the year, however The Substance takes the win for the most obnoxious chewing of shrimp ever put to screen! The Substance is the type of movie that is made to shock and unsettle an audience. There’s a lot of disturbing imagery, with blood and gore and body horror, very reminiscent of horror films of David Cronenberg like The Fly and Naked Lunch. The final 30 minutes especially are so fun to watch with a crowd of people in a packed theatre, as it’s the kind of visceral and grotesque experience that is at the same time disgusting, horrible yet funny. Let’s not even sugarcoat it - the final 30 minutes are so f-ed up and it was a thrill to experience that with an audience, hearing the gasps and squirms from fellow moviegoers. Definitely up there as one of my favourite cinema trips.

4 - THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO - Some stories a worth retelling. The sets are great and really invoke the post-Napoleon era of France; the costumes are gorgeous; the music score is grandiose and epic, really engrossing you in this decade spanning saga of revenge; the classic Alexandre Dumas story is reinterpreted so well with the themes and the emotion, and the acting across the board is superb.  Truly grandiose in scale, and Pierre Niney is effortlessly cool as the titular count, playing him off as a, dare I say, French Batman. So cool, so awesome, so very French.

3 - HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS - Hundreds of Beavers is one of the most creative, inventive and entertaining comedies of the last decade, and I had a smile on my face from start to finish. From the punchy editing, funny music cues, well-timed cutaway gags, goofy costumes or the endlessly creative deaths, this thing has so much unhinged energy it’s unreal. This slapstick comedy offers the perfect rebuttal to “they don’t make them like they used to.” 

2 - FURIOSA - It was upon my second viewing, with an avid pairing of a glass or two of gin mind you, that I really accepted how spectacular this movie is. It’s a fricking sin that Chris Hemsworth is not getting any awards recognition for his turn as the diabolical Dementus - he bloody OWNS this role! Anya Taylor-Joy comes late in the game but does rule as a revenge stricken Furiosa, but I’d actually say that Alyla Browne deserves more praise as the young Furiosa, giving one of the most raw and bare bones child-actor performances of the last decade! The scene where her mother gets crucified…. this kid felt it and WE felt it! CGI is tacky at times; but to counteract that there are some ace action scenes…. dudes parachuting off motorbikes whilst blazing in fire is so METAL! I usually hate prequels as I don’t see the point in them, but this is that one rare exception where it truly allows one to unravel more of The Wasteland through the lense of a fantastical and engaging narrative. Sad to think this may be the last Mad Max flick due to the box office failure. Shame -I’d happily dig another! 

1 - DUNE: PART TWO - To use The Lord of the Rings terminology, and boy am I happy to refer to the dear-to-my-heart Middle Earth whenever I have the chance, then Dune: Part Two holds the scale of The Two Towers. I may not agree with all of it, and there are still some moments I believe drag, though The Two Towers is also guilty of that - I’m looking at you Treebeard! But overall this is one hell of a cinematic experience and achievement. I heavily disliked the first movie, so going into this one I was prepped on hating it too. However Dune: Part Two is a masterclass of science fiction storytelling. No other movie in 2024 has provided me with such a visceral and invigorating feeling of cinematic experience. I was completely lost in the deserts of Arrakis, enamoured in the rise of the Lisan al Gaib. Oh, and that Hans Zimmer’s music score - electrifying!!

In conclusion, 2024 excelled in the horror genre, while the two best films are both set in the desert. Take that as you will. Anyway, onwards with 2025! If you liked this, please follow me on Letterboxd for my immediate reactions: https://boxd.it/9wQGT

[skunkmage9]

Consistently reaching Chronos got whooped by Eris earlier and now I guess I’m just on a grind for reagents, psyche and ashes. Also gotta level up my keepsakes and fill out prophecies, the last boon of Hephaestus my beloved has me stumped. I’m essentially just focusing on anything but killing Chronos by maximizing the resources I can harvest per night.

And if anyone who reads this knows what combination of boons or whatever I need for the last check mark on Hephaestus’ prophecies sheet is, would you be ever so kind to share your knowledge? Thank you <3