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cosmicjoke · 3 years ago

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No Regrets: Chapter by Chapter Analysis:

1. Preface to my analysis

Okay, so, since I’ve reached the end of every published volume of SnK so far, and have to wait until October to read the last volume, I thought I’d re-read “No Regrets” and delve into some analyzation of this story, chapter by chapter.

One thing I want to start out by saying, before I get into the details, is that I think “No Regrets” is a vital demonstration of how Levi has always cared about people, and always fought for them.

One misrepresentation I sometimes see regarding Levi’s and Erwin’s relationship is when people claim that Erwin was the one to teach Levi to fight for something bigger than himself, or to fight for others. The thing is, “No Regrets” clearly demonstrates that Levi already had a strong foundation of caring for others, and fighting for others, before Erwin himself ever had any major influence over him, and I plan on getting into all the examples of that within the story and breaking them down.

First, though, there’s an important quote from Isayama from the joint interview he did with the artist for “No Regrets”, Hikaru Sugura, in which he says about Levi, in response to the question of how he pictured Levi’s internal feelings of going from a “thug” to a “soldier”, “It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities. Underground, where it was all he could do to stay alive, he had to live for that, but then he started to form relationships and began to feel that he could do things for others. And that’s why he first went above ground...”

This is a hugely important quote from Isayama, because he flat out says that, even before Levi came to the surface, he’d already formed bonds with people, and already began to feel like there was something bigger than himself that he could fight for, that he could “do for others”. Isayama also says here that Underground, “It was all he could do to stay alive”, which signifies with great clarity the struggle someone would have, even someone with Levi’s great strength, of surviving and making it from one day to the next in a place like the Underground. So, for Levi, it must have already been a terrible burden, simply trying to take care of himself, and live for himself. But then he meets Furlan and Isabel, and he becomes friends with them, and despite the doubtless added burden to his own existence of having two other people relying so heavily on him for their own survival, he takes that burden onto himself, and does so with willingness and responsibility. Isayama says that “It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities.”. Erwin didn’t instill in Levi a sense of responsibility for others, or the idea of fighting for someone other than himself. Levi already had that, had already DONE that. What Erwin did for Levi was show him the path towards maximizing the impact he could have, showing him how he could use his abilities to help the MOST number of people, not just a few people. Erwin showed Levi that he could have a significant impact on the world, that he could fight for actual, positive change for all people. Another important part of that quote from Isayama is when he says “And that’s why he first went above ground...”, because it tells us what Levi’s initial drive and intention for going to the surface was, and that was to help give Isabel and Furlan a better life. He trusted in Furlan’s plans, and went along with them, because it was what Furlan and Isabel had both expressed to Levi that they wanted to do and to have. Even here, Levi is fighting for the dreams of others.

I’ve recently read the visual novel of “No Regrets”, and while it had some good parts, it also very much underdeveloped and even at times outright misinterpreted Levi’s character in some really key ways, casting him as someone so hell bent on getting revenge on Erwin, that he is blinded to the safety of Isabel and Furlan, pressing on with his plans to kill Erwin at their expense. The worst part about this, I thought, was how it reduced the pivotal moment in which Levi chooses to go after Erwin and leave Furlan and Isabel behind to an impulsive, snap decision, in which Levi puts no thought or real consideration into it. He doesn’t struggle at all in choosing how he does, doesn’t agonize over what he thinks is the right choice, because in that moment, there isn’t even the consideration of another option, he isn’t even making a choice, really, just reacting, which entirely defeats the purpose of Levi’s character motif throughout the main series, which is that he can never know for sure what decision is the right one until after he chooses, but that he has to try and make one he feels is right, and that no matter what, he can’t allow himself to dwell on it with regret afterwards. This gets corrected in the manga big time, as do several other instances of Levi’s characterization, and I’m going to go over it in more detail when I get to that final chapter. But the choice Levi makes in the manga is much, much more nuanced, considered, and multifaceted. Here, he had laid out in his head two, distinct options, and he weighs and balances them against one another in a high pressure situation, before deciding on the one he thinks is best. He doesn’t just leave his friends, thinking only of Erwin and revenge. He’s thinking of ALL of them, and of every factor leading up to that point, and that struggle for Levi is what ends up having the affect of ultimately forming his later philosophy of never allowing himself certainty in anything, but also allowing himself leniency in whatever he chooses, knowing that he can’t be so hard on himself for the outcome, whatever it may be, that he isn’t able to move on from it, or use it to keep pushing forward and learn, so that he can do better next time. It’s important that Levi’s choice in “No Regrets” is actually presented as one made with his full consciousness, one that was a fully thought out one on his part, which is why I really disliked the way it was portrayed in the visual novel, and why I’m glad they corrected it in the manga, which is the canonically accepted version of the story either way. Because it’s a vital moment in Levi’s character development, with him learning that even when he tries his best to choose right, even when he considers every factor and every, conceivable outcome, even when he does what he thinks, in the moment, is best, it won’t always turn out that way, it won’t always turn out good, or favorably. He won’t always win. He won’t always be able to save everyone. It’s a huge moment of character growth for Levi, who makes a well thought out and considered decision, and it still results in his two, best friends getting killed. It teaches Levi that he can never have full control of any situation, no matter how hard he tries, and that, in turn, gives Levi a kind of freedom in simple acceptance. It lifts a burden from his shoulders, even as he experiences enormous grief and loss.

Anyway, I’m going to be reading the first chapter of “No Regrets” later tonight, and will give my more detailed observations in a separate post. Thanks for reading, as always guys!

2. Chapter 1: The Wings of Freedom

Okay, so here we go! Chapter 1 of “No Regrets”!

There’s a few things I want to point out about this chapter, because both visually and textually, we get a lot of information about the Underground and Levi, and his relationship with Isabel and Furlan. So I’ll just go through it.

The first thing that really caught my attention for this chapter was the opening page, which is a retrospective shot of Levi after he’s joined the SC, thinking about how he can’t ever know what the results of his choices are going to be. He says here “I trusted in my own strength... I trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned my faith...” And this quote from Levi is really important in later understanding why he makes the choice he does, at the end. He says he trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned his faith, and that tells us that Levi believes in Furlan and Isabel, that he believes in their strength and their capability, that he believes in them enough to let them choose for themselves and trust in their judgement. We’ll obviously delve more into this as it becomes more relevant to the story. But moving on...

The next thing to catch my attention is the panels of the Underground we see. These are probably the best shots of this place we get in the whole series, as it really depicts a place that is totally run down and dilapidated, with buildings falling apart and crumbling in disrepair, filth ridden streets with literal sewage water coming out of drain pipes, and a actual cave cover overhead, complete with stalactites, blocking out all sunlight except for few and far between pockets which break through holes in the rock ceiling. The most telling panels though are the ones which depict the violence and poverty of the place. We see a panel of a homeless man passed out on the street, painfully thin looking, and under him, two men in a fight, one beating the other violently. And the next panel shows us a little girl, sitting barefoot on the ground between two men who have just blown each other’s brains out with guns. Truly, this is a violent, dark, poverty-stricken place that breeds crime and depravation. The pages before this say that BECAUSE of the splendor of the Capital city above the Underground, this place exists, and that’s accurate. Because of the excesses and decadence of the rich and well off above these people rejected by society, that means fewer resources for the less fortunate. It’s truly tragic.

Alright, now I just want to move on to some small, but telling moments here while Levi and the others are being chased by Erwin and his crew.

When Isabel is bragging about how the MP’s never learn, referring to how they’ll never be able to catch their gang, she asks Levi if what she said was cool. Levi tells her “Don’t be stupid.” This might seem like Levi just blowing her off, but the way I read it, it seems more to me like Levi is warning her not to be cocky, not to be over confident, because that’s the kind of thing that can get you killed, or caught. Big Bro indeed! We also see how mindful Levi is here as a leader, when he tells them they can’t afford to lead the soldiers following them straight to their hideout, and clearly they have a plan in place for just this sort of thing.

More importantly, Levi is fast to realize these aren’t ordinary soldiers after them, which shows his great instincts, but what’s really interesting is his internal thoughts here. His logic is telling him regular MP’s wouldn’t work this hard to catch them, and that their skill with the ODM means they must be SC. But Levi doesn’t really believe it which, given what we later find out about the deal with Lobov, and Lobov warning them of Erwin’s plans, tells us that Levi never really believed the SC would come after them. He’s clearly surprised here.

Further, after informing Isabel and Furlan and confirming his suspicions, he tells Furlan that he’s got no intention of getting mixed up with “these guys”. This tells us Levi never wanted to go through with Furlan’s plans, never wanted to join the SC, never wanted anything to do with any of it. There’s further evidenced in this very chapter, which I’ll get to in a moment. But it tells us a lot about the dubious feelings Levi had from the start, and how he probably would have simply been happiest to stay in the Underground with his friends, even though it was a hard life.

Alright, so, this next part is a big deal, and it’s an overlooked detail which speaks volumes about the kind of person Levi is. I didn’t even notice this the first time I read it, so I want to talk about it. Levi separates from Isabel and Furlan, and takes Erwin and Mike on a wild chase through the back alley’s and narrow passages of the slums. He really tries to give them the run around here, until he flips over a door, into another area. What’s really important here is Levi’s dialog. He says first “... Lost ‘em, huh?” And then he says, “That got a little crazy... I hope... none of them crashed.” This is kind of amazing. Levi is showing actual concern for the two soldiers who’d just attempted to catch him and his friends, who were doggedly pursuing them with obviously bad intentions of some kind. And Levi, after having to resort to some serious ODM skills to shake them, says he hopes that none of them crashed. He doesn’t want Erwin or Mike to get hurt, he just wants to get away from them. Considering he doesn’t know either of them at this point, they’re just nameless, faceless military dogs trying to mess things up for him, that shows remarkable character.

Of course, things go downhill from there, when Mike crashes through the door and tackles him. All bets are off then, because Levi’s life is now in danger, and when that happens, he’ll resort to physical force. Still, he only throws Mike off of him and once again attempts to get away, only for it to be Erwin who swoops down and cuts Levi’s cables. This was actually really dangerous. Given Levi’s momentum and position, he crashes hard into a nearby wall before falling to the ground. So we already see some of that ruthlessness from Erwin here. Of course, that spurs Levi into violence himself. I have no doubt that when Levi lunges for Erwin and knocks his blade away, bringing his knife to his neck, he truly intended to kill him in that moment. Levi’s compassion for these soldiers can only go so far, considering the desperation of his own circumstances. If Mike hadn’t been there to stop it, I think Levi probably would have ripped Erwin’s jugular right out, and that would have been that, lol. And then, it’s important to note too WHY Levi stops. Not because Mike was able to physically restrain him, but because he tells Levi to look around himself, directing his attention to the fact that Furlan and Isabel have been caught. That immediately stays Levi’s hand, and once again, we’re shown how Levi puts the wellbeing of his friends above himself. He could have ditched Furlan and Isabel right then and there and escaped on his own. Instead, he allows himself to be restrained and cuffed. He refuses to abandon them.

Now the next scene is hugely important to a lot of stuff.

Erwin’s got Levi and his friends down on their knees, in the sewage, questioning them about their ODM skills, and the three of them stay silent, obviously defiant. We really get a good look at Erwin’s abilities as a manipulator here.

He’s pulling the whole good cop/bad cop routine on Levi, when he tells him “I’d like to avoid any rough treatment if I can” before looking to Mike in a clear signal for Mike to pretty damn violently tear Levi’s head back by his hair before smashing his face into the sewage on the ground. And this really IS sewage. It’s not mud. If you look at the panels, we see this brown muck coming out of drain pips attached to the surrounding buildings. This water is probably, literally, dirty with feces, and Erwin has Mike put Levi’s face in this and hold it there. Now let’s remember something important about Levi. He’s a clean freak. He obviously cares deeply about keeping both himself and his environment clean. Erwin couldn’t know this about him at the time, but nobody of course would be happy about having their face shoved into literal shit. But for Levi, I can only imagine this had to be tantamount to a kind of torture. Erwin keeps questioning him, looking down at him without any kind of emotion, and Levi remains stubbornly silent, despite how awful this must truly be for him. We get a close up of Levi’s eye in one of the panels, paralleled with Erwin’s own, and Levi’s expression really strikes me as one of awful humiliation. He goes from looking up at Erwin in rage, to looking away, staring straight ahead, while Erwin keeps looking down at him.

Still, Levi says nothing, and it’s Isabel who finally cracks, telling Erwin that they didn’t learn to use ODM from anyone, with Furlan further explaining that they taught themselves as a means of survival. He remarks that “anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like couldn’t understand!”. Clearly, both of them are really upset to see this being done to Levi, and I have to imagine it’s at least in part because they know how awful an experience this has to be for him, given that they know how much he desires to stay clean. Their shocked expressions when Mike first pushes Levi’s face into the sewage says as much too.

But still, Levi remains silent as Erwin then demands to know Levi’s name. What Mike does to Levi in the next panel is even worse. He pushes his face into the sewage and holds him there until Levi literally starts to choke in it, for long enough that, when he finally does pull him up, Levi is gasping for breath. I really don’t see people talk enough about this scene, but, well...

It’s a torture scene. Erwin is ordering Mike to torture Levi here. It may not be the most extreme form of torture, it isn’t the type of physical violence we typically think of when we think of torture, but that’s what it is. It’s causing Levi both physical and mental degradation, as well as physical distress.

Even with this though, Levi’s still silent and refuses to answer Erwin at all.

It’s only when Erwin literally threatens the lives of Furlan and Isabel that he finally talks. This is such an important detail. Levi was willing to take what to him must have been truly horrific treatment, but as soon as Erwin gives the signal to the other two Scouts who have hold of his friends, we see Levi’s expression shift from defiant rage to wide eyed fear as they put their blades to Furlan’s and Isabel’s throats.

Finally Levi talks, calling Erwin a “bastard”, to which Erwin simply asks him again what his name is, and after a slight hesitation, Levi finally gives it.

I think this entire scene is vital in understanding WHY Levi was so violently pissed at Erwin, to the point of wanting to kill him.

I think it’s a combination of both the humiliation and torture he puts Levi through here, and, worse still, the fact that he threatens Isabel and Furlan’s lives. Levi already feels looked down upon by Erwin here, he already feels humiliated and embarrassed and as though he’s being treated like he’s worthless, because Erwin IS treating him like that here. All while Erwin stands there, expressionless, making statements like he doesn’t want to have to use any rough treatment, etc... while at the same time ordering Mike to do just that. Already, Erwin is sending Levi the message that he’s a liar and a manipulator who thinks nothing of putting another human being’s face in shit. And then, to top that off, he shows Levi that he’s willing to hurt, maybe even kill, his two friends to get what he wants.

Is it any wonder Levi hated Erwin as much as he did at the beginning? After a lifetime in the Underground where, from the time of his birth, he had to deal with him and those he cares about being treated like worthless trash. It would be a miracle if Levi DIDN’T want to kill Erwin at this point. To have to then submit to him willingly, after all of that, must have been beyond humiliating for him.

Erwin continues to be manipulative here too, when after Levi gives his name, Erwin’s attitude suddenly shifts, and he smiles at Levi and gets down on one knee with him, in the filth, his entire demeanor seeming to shift into an abruptly friendly one as he offers his deal to Levi. Again, that whole good cop/bad cop thing. At the same time, he continues to threaten Levi by telling him if he refuses his offer, he’ll hand them all over to the MP’s and that, given their crimes, they shouldn’t expect to be treated with any kind of decency. What’s kind of funny about this statement from Erwin is that up until now, Erwin and Mike have done anything but treat Levi decently.

Okay, one more important point to make about this chapter, and it goes back to what I said earlier about Levi not wanting anything to do with the SC, and how that tells us Levi really didn’t want to go through with Furlan’s plans.

After Erwin makes his offer, we see Levi look over at Furlan, who’s giving him an intent look, and in the next panel, we see an almost surprised, or astonished look on Levi’s face, like he can’t believe Furlan is asking him to do this, before he grits his teeth in obvious frustration, and then accepts Erwin’s offer to join the SC. What this tells us is that Levi only takes Erwin’s offer because Furlan wanted him to. Because this was all part of Furlan’s plan, to go through with Lobov’s commission, to get caught by the SC, etc... It’s clear Levi never wanted this, and he’s upset at having to do it. But the fact he agrees after looking over at Furlan and seeing him implore Levi with his eyes tells us, once again, that Levi is willing to sacrifice his own desires for the desires of others. That being his two friends.

For them, he’ll join the Survey Corps, even as every one of his instincts is probably screaming at him that this is a bad idea.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the first chapter of “No Regrets”. There’s a lot more to unpack in this manga than I think people realize. I hope whoever took the time to read my long ass post found it at least a little worth while. I’ll be moving on to chapter two next!

3. Chapter 2: One Arrow

Alright, so onto chapter 2 of “No Regrets”.

I want to talk a little about these opening panels, when Levi, Furlan and Isabel are being driven to HQ by carriage. They seem unimportant, but I think they’re actually really important in understanding Levi’s psychology going into this new situation they’re all in.

We see the interior of the carriage, with Levi and the other two, along with an escort from the SC. Furlan and Isabel are both looking out the window of the carriage, and in particular, Isabel seems incredibly excited and in awe of the passing view. She’s stood up, with her face pressed to the window. And in the next panel, we see her looking at a little girl with her mother, dressed nicely and holding a doll. This really encapsulates everything Isabel herself has probably never had. A reliable mother to take care of her, fancy clothes and toys to play with. Essentially, an actual childhood. We see Isabel’s face in the window, and her mouth is open in wonder, her eyes wide. Like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. It emphasizes the depravation and lack of privilege she’s endured all her life. Meanwhile, by contrast, Levi sits there with his head bowed down, ignoring the passing scenery, looking deeply unhappy, even depressed. When he does look up though, he sees Isabel looking out the window, and on the close up shot of him, he’s got an almost thoughtful expression, if still extremely dour. No doubt, Levi is feeling uneasy and uncertain about the situation they’ve all gotten themselves into here, but I’m also sure that he’s unable to ignore the bubbling over excitement of Isabel, her obvious joy in being, at last, on the surface. I’ll get more into this later in the post, when we see Levi really considering his friends and their dreams, and how it influences and dictates his own decisions.

But first lets talk a little about Erwin and his role in all of this.

Now at the time this series came out, Erwin’s actual, motivating reasons for doing what he does weren’t yet known, so it’s interesting to read into his actions in this story with that context. I have no doubt that Erwin really DOES care about humanity, and wants to fight for it, and its salvation. But as we come to learn from the main series, he places his own dream of proving his father right about the existence of human’s beyond the walls above what’s best for humanity, and it puts his actions in this story into an interesting, if harsher light.

No doubt, Erwin is a master manipulator. He plays both sides expertly against the middle in this story, and I’ll get more into it by the end, when his actual plan is revealed to Levi. But what I don’t see often discussed is how, exactly, Erwin got all the parts moving in the direction he wanted, to obtain a specific outcome, and how he pretty ruthlessly uses so many people as pawns to do so. It’s obvious from the context of what we later learn in the story that Erwin first spread a rumor about having evidence against Lovof stealing funds in order to force him into tipping his hand by trying to make a preemptive move. What I see people miss all the time, or at least, fail to discuss, is how Erwin also, at the same time, made it public knowledge within the Capital, that he would be going after a group of thugs in the Underground who had shown exceptional skill using ODM gear, and that he would be making contact with them as soon as possible to try and enlist them into military service, and how Erwin made these plans public specifically to encourage Lobov into seeking out Levi and his friends for the exact purpose of both implicating Lobov in a crime, and gaining Levi’s and his friends strength for the SC. One, by hiring a group of criminals to steal from Erwin and attempt to assassinate him, so he could use that as leverage in case he wasn’t able to obtain proof of Lobov’s further criminal activities, thus having two means of getting rid of one of the SC’s biggest threats, and at the same time, also manage to score for the SC the exceptional skill of Levi and his friends through forced enlistment. He even says to Zackely at one point “I intend to make use of anyone who has even the smallest potential during this expedition.”. Erwin manipulated and had control of this entire scenario from the start, and from behind these scenes moved all of these people exactly how he wanted to, to achieve his goals. That’s pretty impressive, but also pretty scary. Well, I’ll talk more about all of that when we get to it later on.

Back to Levi and his friends though.

We see them arrive at the SC HQ, and a really important conversation happens between Levi and Furlan.

Furlan seems like he’s almost bitten off more than he can chew here, beginning to express his concern to Levi about what joining the SC actually means, before Levi cuts him off, telling him he’s got no intention of enlisting, and that he only agreed to come along so that he could get closer to Erwin and then kill him. I think Levi genuinely felt murderous towards Erwin at this point, and really means what he says here, at least about killing him. Though given the end of chapter 1, with the significant look shared between Levi and Furlan, and Levi’s begrudging acceptance of Erwin’s offer, it’s obvious that Levi also agreed to come because that’s what Furlan wanted him to do, to give them the opportunity they needed. Levi’s just feeling incredibly emotional here, I think, with the way Erwin treated all of them hot on his mind. Furlan tries to implore Levi to forget about killing Erwin, that it isn’t necessary anymore because of his own plan, and the almost certainty that Lobov and his people won’t ever try to make contact with them again. He tells Levi, if he just listens to him and follows his plan, “I know it’ll work. Trust me, Levi.” Furlan asking him to trust him pulls a meaningful look from Levi, seeming to break through Levi’s angry insistence on killing Erwin. This is where the manga improved on Levi’s characterization and motivation by leaps and bounds over the visual novel, because in the next few panels, we see Levi walking away, with Furlan calling after him, concerned, but we get to see Levi’s inner thoughts, and he’s remembering specifically Furlan insisting to him that “one day, we’ll get outta this trash heap and live up above.” We see Levi thinking about Furlan’s hopes and dreams in these panels, and he has a saddened, and guilt-ridden look on his face, like he feels bad about having dismissed Furlan’s plans back there in favor of his own plans for revenge. We didn’t get any of this in the visual novel, instead the text there making Levi look like he refused to consider anyones position but his own in this whole situation. But here, Levi is clearly concerned with and considering Furlan’s desires.

We go into a flashback then, with Furlan explaining to Levi his plans, telling him that “nothing’s gone according to plan... But with you here we’ll really be able to raise hell.” Furlan’s trying to explain to Levi that since he now has Levi’s strength to rely on, they can actually get something done once they get into the Survey Corps. It almost seems like Furlan’s been planning on trying something like this, or at least, had some sort of loose plan about getting to the surface, even before he met Levi. It’s obviously something he’s been dreaming about for a long time.

Then Isabel comes back, and she’s been roughed up and assaulted, and we learn from Furlan asking her if she went to see those “low-life scumbags again?” that this has obviously happened to her before, that she’s been associating with some bad people and it’s gotten her hurt. She denies it and lies about having just tripped, but clearly neither Levi or Furlan are buying that. Levi asks Isabel what happened to her hair, and Isabel reacts badly, running away and hiding in her room. We get a close up of Levi holding a knife in his hands, foreshadowing his own intentions. Later that night, Furlan hears Isabel crying in her room, and her chanting to herself over and over that she’s going to “kill you”, presumably meaning the men that hurt her earlier. Furlan stands there lamenting that he thinks both Levi and Isabel are going “mad”, and that all they can think about is dragging everyone else down to where they are. He’s obviously terrified that he’s going to lose both his friends to the savagery and ruthlessness of the Underground, that both of them are going to end up becoming lost to their own anger and pain. He starts to say “That’s why I...” before Levi suddenly comes back in, holding a bloody knife, clearly having returned from exacting revenge on the men who hurt Isabel. Furlan asks Levi “Did you kill them...?”, and Levi doesn’t answer, but we see a completely resigned, even sad look on his face. This of course is the world Levi comes from. It’s the world he was raised in. A world of kill or be killed. Levi must have figured, if he didn’t go out and kill those men that had hurt Isabel now, then someday, they would end up going too far with her, and kill her instead. But Furlan clearly doesn’t understand, and doesn’t relate to that kind of mindset, despite coming from the Underground too. Of course, Furlan wasn’t raised by Kenny the Ripper either. This is how Levi was taught to deal with his problems, and Furlan can only see him spiraling into an abyss from which he fears Levi won’t return.

We cut back to the present then, and Levi is sitting up on the roof of the SC HQ, again remembering Furlan’s words about “This is our chance. Trust me.”. Getting to the surface and finding better lives for themselves is Furlan’s dream. The fact that Levi keeps remembering it, keeps remembering Furlan insisting and pushing the idea of the possibility of living on the surface, shows that this is probably something he would talk about all the time with Levi, trying to get him to agree to it, to believe in it. Once again, Levi is contemplating the hopes and dreams of his friends. We get another close up of him holding a knife, and it represents, I think, his struggle between his desire for revenge against Erwin, and his desire to help Furlan realize what, to Levi, is probably an unrealistic goal.

We then get Furlan and Isabel joining Levi, commenting on how beautiful the night sky is, and asking Levi how he could keep it to himself. Levi snips testily at Furlan that him and Isabel are so loud, that he’d be too irritated to get any killing done, and then Furlan looking clearly unsettled by the remark. But it’s obvious, given the context of the previous panels of Levi’s thinking about Furlan’s dream, that Levi is just being peevish and saying things out of frustration and confusion. He doesn’t really mean what he says here. He’s taking his frustration out on Furlan by saying what he knows will upset him the most. What this also tells us is that Levi is very much aware of how bothered Furlan is by Levi’s willingness to kill. He isn’t at all oblivious to it, and given his resigned, saddened expression after coming back from killing the men who assaulted Isabel, I would say Levi even understands Furlan’s dismay. That’s a glimpse at Levi’s famous compassion.

The next panels show the three of them bonding, sitting together and admiring the night sky. Isabel asks Levi if the stars are as pretty as where he used to live. I’m just going to chalk the mistake in continuity here up to this manga coming out before, I believe, Levi’s backstory of being born in a brothel in the Underground was established by Isayama. Regardless of this mistake, this is an important moment between the three of them. You can see the awe and wonder they all feel, looking up and seeing the sky fully for what has to be the first time in all their lives. Remember, all three of them have lived literally underground their entire lives, with little to no sunlight, stagnant, stale air, hideously unclean living conditions, etc... It must be overwhelming to them , just to see nature in all its splendor like that. It’s after sharing this moment together that Levi tells Furlan that he’s decided he won’t kill Erwin for now. He looks at him and says “I’m going to trust you.”. And Furlan smiles at him, clearly happy and relieved. This scene is really important, because we’re seeing Levi choose Furlan’s dream over his own desire for revenge. We see Levi place Furlan’s desires over his own, which is totally in line with how Levi is in the main AoT storyline. He decides his revenge can wait, that it’s not as important as helping Furlan achieve his goals. What’s particularly remarkable about this, I think, is that it doesn’t appear that Levi ever dreamed of going to the surface himself, and likely that he never even considered it a possibility. So just like Levi fights, later on, for a world without fear and violence, for humanity’s salvation, even as all his life experiences tell him it likely isn’t possible, we see the Levi doing the same here, deciding to fight for his friend’s dream, even as to him, it seems unrealistic. It’s obviously a pivotal moment too, when Levi tells him he’s going to trust him, because this ties in hugely with the theme which applies so much to Levi throughout the whole series, of never knowing if it’s better to rely on himself solely, to trust himself, or to trust and rely on his friends and their capabilities. Levi chooses, here, to trust in his friends, and that will obviously have it’s own ramifications down the line. Again, this is an area in which the manga improves radically over the visual novel, which had no instances whatsoever of Levi struggling with the question of the choices we make, which is absurd, since it’s one of the driving factors behind who Levi is, and how he ultimately came to see the world as he does. It was precisely this struggle between choices, between trying to choose correctly, giving so much thought and effort to our choices, and still sometimes coming out wrong, that shaped Levi into being able to accept his lack of control and instead of regretting it, using it to keep fighting.

4. Chapter 3: ... Of Revolution

Okay, so on to chapter 3 of “No Regrets”!

I’ve got a few observations, so I’ll just delve in.

First thing, and once again, I found this a huge improvement over the visual novel, but we get more insight here into the reason Erwin was so intent on recruiting Levi. During the scene in which he’s arguing with the other squad leaders about letting a group of “criminals” into their organization, Erwin pushes back against the other scouts deriding Levi and his friends. I really loved Erwin’s line here, where he says “You’re right. These people had no training. They did not earn wings from us. They grew their own, out of necessity.” This shows us that Erwin has a grasp and an appreciation for the hardship Levi and his friends faced while growing up, while most of the other SC leaders and even regular recruits can only look down on them and see them as gutter trash. This shows Erwin’s own scope of vision, his ability to look past a person’s upbringing and background and not make judgments about them based on that. More telling still is his comment about how “those wings will play a part in revolutionizing this organization.”. He wanted Levi’s skills in particular because he knew having someone like Levi around, with exceptional ability, would shift the way they all fight Titans. He was, as always, looking for ways to increase the effectiveness of the SC, and was willing to do whatever he could, and through any means necessary, to ensure it.

The next thing that caught my attention is the glare Levi and Erwin share during the trio’s introduction to the rest of the soldiers. Erwin’s right in front of Levi, standing there, reminding him of his anger and humiliation no doubt, and I think that leads directly into and impacts the next scene, when Flagon shows them their sleeping arrangements. Levi’s already no doubt irritated by having to see Erwin again, and then Flagon makes his frankly deeply disparaging remark about Levi and his friends having spent their whole lives living in a trash heap, implying that they’re filthy gutter trash, and so surely are incapable of keeping themselves and their environment clean. Levi, understandably, reacts badly to this, and gets in Flagon’s face, asking him what he just said, before Furlan intervenes. When you consider the way Erwin already made Levi feel so humiliated and Levi’s subsequent anger at it, then having to see Erwin again not long before this scene, and hearing Flagon just callously make an accusation like that must have only infuriated Levi more. I think, once again, the manga is doing an infinitely better job of portraying the tension, then, that’s starting to form between Levi and Furlan. Furlan scolds Levi after Flagon leaves, almost talking down to him when he says “Didn’t I tell you not to cause trouble?!”. Almost like he’s talking to some misbehaving little kid. Levi’s expression in the following panel says a lot, I think. Levi looks almost chastised, like he knows he’s upset Furlan, before he tries to explain himself, asking Furlan “Didn’t you hear how he talked about us? Like shit calling shit dirty.”. It’s really interesting what this says about the power dynamic in their relationship. Levi is ostensibly the leader of their group, but Furlan’s acting, in a lot of ways, like he’s the one in charge and he expects Levi to fall in line. Clearly, he’s not afraid of scolding Levi, or challenging him. All of Furlan’s insistence that they lay low and not do anything to draw attention to themselves must only be chaffing though at Levi’s already heated feelings about the kind of treatment they’re receiving, how they’re being talked down to, etc... It must be galling to him, to see Furlan not seeming to care that they’re all being so deeply disrespected. But he still continues to defer to Furlan, and agree to go along with his plan for now, though he makes his displeasure known by calling it a pain in the ass.

But seeing Erwin, and then being treated the way they were by Flagon, seems to have rekindled Levi’s desire to take his revenge, and he reminds Furlan that he’ll continue to go along with his plan, but that he’s still going to kill Erwin. Once again, we see Levi being pulled in two different directions. He’s giving priority to Furlan’s plans and wishes, but he’s still thinking about getting Erwin back. He’s annoyed that they weren’t assigned to Erwin’s squad, probably because it means it’s going to limit their contact, giving him less opportunities to kill him. Another line that I think signifies Lev’s annoyance at Furlan and how, well, dismissive he is of Levi’s own feelings, is after he tells them they have to clean the area around their beds before leaving for training, and in response to Isabel’s protests, he says “You wouldn’t want me to cause trouble, would you?”. He’s throwing Furlan’s words back in his face here, and it seems clear to me that Levi is frustrated and doesn’t appreciate the way Furlan’s been talking to him, or how little consideration for his own wishes he’s shown. There’s a lot of tension there.

Another really important scene is the one in the training yard, so I’ll got through it here.

Particularly when Isabel is talking to the Scout helping her with horse riding, and they get to talking about life in the Underground, and then Levi. What Isabel says, and the visual of the panel here, is particularly powerful. She says “It got so I thought I was gonna die. But life’s a little better since Levi saved me from that.”. And we see in the panel Levi lifting Isabels’ head up, obviously checking if she’s alive. There’s all these people, collapsed around her, and the fact that Levi is checking to see if she’s alive is interesting, because it makes me think this is something Levi would regularly do. That he would check to see if anyone was alive when he came across people collapsed in the streets. It’s probably not unusual to come across dead bodies in the Underground, and for someone like Levi, who’s lived there all his life, he’s no doubt seen plenty. The fact he checks Isabel shows a lack of callousness towards the sight, which is incredible, to not become uncaring or apathetic towards suffering, even when you’re surrounded by it your whole life. It’s a highly unusual quality to have, but of course, it makes perfect sense for Levi, who’s so full of compassion.

Nevertheless, it would have been simpler for him to just keep moving and ignore her, but instead he stopped, and when he discovered she was still alive, he took her in and gave her food and shelter and a home. She would have died otherwise. Levi had no obligation towards her, he had no, really good reason to do something so selfless, and yet, he did. And this truly is remarkable, especially when you consider the kind of cut throat world Levi grew up in, the kind of ruthless people he’d encountered, and even lived with, like Kenny, all his life.

Then there’s Furlan’s discussion with another soldier, and his story about Levi. The most interesting thing Furlan says here is how, after his own friends turned on him, he’s followed Levi ever since. And then he says “Though it might be problematic making him any kind of leader!”. It’s interesting what this reveals to us about Levi. People want to follow him because he’s so strong, but Levi himself has no desire for power, or control over others. People willingly attach themselves to him, because they think Levi can protect them, but Levi isn’t any kind of natural leader. So we know Levi was more or less forced into the role of leader by way of others seeking him out and assigning him that role. What’s interesting about this is how it, once again, reveals the kind of person Levi is. He could easily have rejected all of these people and abandoned them. One thing we know is that Levi didn’t need any help surviving on his own in the Underground. But instead Levi allows them to stay with him and willingly offers his help and protection, and though it’s probably more of a pain and a nuisance to him than anything else. It shows that Levi’s never been able to turn away from those seeking his help.

Which leads nicely into the next scene.

I’ve talked about this scene before, and how disappointed I was that they didn’t include it in the OVA. This also wasn’t included in the visual novel, which is, once more, just another way in which the manga is superior.

Flagon is once again criticizing Levi for holding his blades “wrong”, telling him he’s going to end up getting killed outside the walls. And then the training exercise begins, and we see one of the other soldiers trying to compete with Levi, and growing increasingly incensed and annoyed at Levi’s prowess. He thinks “These vagrants with no knowledge as soldiers...” and then “I trained half to death, and these criminals think they’re better?!”. What’s interesting is to see that while this soldier is fuming internally over Levi’s perceived slight of him, glaring at him angrily, Levi clearly hasn’t even taken notice of him. This isn’t a competition to Levi at all. He’s just there to do the exercises. He’s staring straight ahead, blank faced as always.

Now what happens next is once more hugely revealing as to Levi’s character. The infuriated soldier decides he’s not going to accept that Levi’s better than him, and so he intentionally pushes off of a tree and cuts Levi off mid-flight. What struck me about this is how incredibly dangerous it was. Levi’s going, presumably, full speed, through this obstacle course, and this dude, out of petty jealousy, cuts him off by flying right in front of and past him, forcing Levi to pull back and change direction. A stunt like this could have easily resulted in serious injury for Levi, or even death, if he weren’t as gifted as he is. To top it off, this soldier then brags about it, calling out to Levi “Don’t get left behind!”. Of course, his arrogance leads to immediate disaster, as the soldier that went through the course before lost one of their blades in the dummy Titan, and this dude’s flying towards it at top speed, with no way to stop himself or change direction in time. He’s about to be impaled by a blade. Considering the danger he’s just placed Levi in, then, it truly is a testament to Levi’s goodness, that he launches off the tree he’s stopped on, racing ahead and slicing the stray blade free before the other soldier can make contact, resulting in him harmlessly crashing into the pad, instead of dying. This really shows how Levi’s first instinct is always to help others. Even when others have just not only treated him badly, but even endangered his life. He doesn’t owe this soldier anything, and by all rights should be extremely pissed at him for his petty display before. But instead Levi just automatically reacts to his life being threatened by saving the man. He doesn’t even scold him afterward or express anger, just flies off and continues the course.

What makes this whole thing kind of sad is both the soldier’s and Flagon’s reaction to this. The soldier is still angry and upset over Levi’s superior ability, wondering how he can be so fast, not even sparring a thought of appreciation for him just saving his life. And then Flagon grudgingly admits to Levi’s fighting prowess, but continues to doubt him and his ability to stay disciplined. Even after saving one of his own men’s lives, he still continues to look down on Levi. That’s pretty messed up. Levi glares back at him after, as if to say “Who’s the one who’s going to get people killed out there?”. Levi saved a soldiers life, while Flagon could only sit and watch. It’s interesting too how this, tragically, foreshadows what’s to come though, with Levi not being able to save the people he cares the most about. But we’ll get into that when we get there.

Also, just gotta mention also the way Levi reacts to Isabel’s getting upset after he bonks her in the head and calls her stupid. He looks surprised when she starts crying, and it’s clear he didn’t mean to actually hurt her feelings, and it’s just really sweet, the way he rubs her head after. He obviously felt bad.

5. Chapter 4: Proof

Alright, just a few things to say about chapter 4 of “No Regrets”.

One thing that I love that was in the manga that, once again, wasn’t in the visual novel, was Levi’s reaction as they ride out from Shinganshina, as well as Furlan’s and Isabel’s. This kind of internal exploration of these characters who had never been to the surface, who had spent their whole lives in darkness, getting to see the sky for the first time, was something that was entirely absent from the visual novel, and it’s one of its biggest weaknesses. But here, we see Levi looking up at the stone structure of the wall gate, and for a moment, he imagines the ceiling of the Underground, before they emerge out into the open and the full view of the sky appears for the first time. Levi squints up at the glaring sun, and we see an expression of genuine awe and amazement on his face, as well as Furlan and Isabel. This is the first time any of them have experienced anything like this, and the overwhelming beauty of it for them is wonderfully visualized here. The way Levi goes from seeing the claustrophobia and imprisonment of the Underground, and how that opens up into a clear, blue, ending sky, really symbolizes him experiencing for the first time in his life a kind of freedom he’s never before had. And there’s something incredibly moving, but also incredibly tragic about that.

Now another point I want to address, where the manga and anime both differ from the visual novel, in a really vital way, is how here, we see Furlan lamenting that they’ve left the walls, saying “This is terrible. I never meant to leave the walls. If we’d followed the plan, we would have grabbed them and snuck away by now!”. This shows that they’ve been looking for the documents in vain for several months now, and still have yet to find them. Furlan’s plan had obviously originally been to find them and then get out of dodge, but because they weren’t able, they ended up having to wait around longer, until the time came for the expedition. Now how this is presented in the visual novel really struck me as horrifically out of character for Levi. In the novel, it’s explained that the reason they haven’t left is because Levi kept insisting that he had to kill Erwin, refusing to leave until he could do so, and if not for that, Furlan would have forgotten about the documents and simply had them all desert the SC, back to the Underground. Levi intentionally ignoring the safety of his friends for revenge on Erwin really goes against everything we know about him from canon, and was a pretty glaring detail, so I’m glad they nixed that here. There’s no mention of Levi forcing them to stay because of his need for revenge, but rather an implication that none of them were willing to leave until they got the documents. They took this a step further in the OVA even, with that one scene in which Levi argues with Furlan and Isabel, insisting that if it comes to them having to leave the walls, he’s going to go alone, and he wants them to stay behind. This really is an important distinction to make in Levi’s characterization. We know he always places the safety of his comrades above all else, if he can, and tries his best to keep them alive. And the whole reason he agreed to Furlan’s plan in the first place was because he wanted to help Furlan’s and Isabel’s dream of living up above come true. He would never purposefully endanger their lives, or so thoughtlessly dismiss their safety. This is something which gets further corrected later in the story, too, when Levi makes his fateful choice, and I’ll get more into it there as well. One detail though is how Levi tells Furlan not to worry, that he’ll “do something about the Titans.”. Levi clearly believes in his own strength, and believes it will be enough to protect his friends at this point, which goes back to the theme of him struggling to know which is better to rely on, oneself, or ones comrades. Here, he’s relying on himself to protect them. He asks Furlan “Don’t you trust me?”. He’s reminding Furlan that he’s never let him down before, and he promises he won’t now either.

We see Furlan later finding that full trust again, when Levi engages with the abnormal titan, and sees his fearlessness, giving him his own strength to fight. It speaks volumes about the kind of camaraderie shared between all three of them, that they’re able to work so smoothly and effectively together the first time any of them have ever fought a Titan, and how deeply Furlan and Isabel trust Levi to get them through any dangerous situation, as they willingly follow him into battle.

6. Chapter 5: Hearts

Alright, onto chapter 5 of “No Regrets” and then I’ll do the last three chapters tomorrow.

The first thing I took note of was how after everyone gets to the castle ruins, Levi reminds Furlan and Isabel that they’re still outside the walls, and that anything could happen, so they should “stay sharp.”. Once again we see Levi being concerned with the safety of his friends, remind them not to put their guards down. This leads into the next scene, where Furlan remarks that he never thought they’d be able to stop a titan so easily, and reaffirms his faith in Levi’s strength by saying as long as Levi’s with them, they’ll survive somehow. Levi responds to this with some self-doubt, which is really interesting and will tie into some other observations I’ve made about this chapter, later on. He says if there’s more than one of those abnormal titans, he’s not so sure they’ll be alright. Clearly, he’s concerned for the wellbeing of his friends while they’re on the outside like this. He doesn’t feel totally confident.

He then asks Furlan if he’s sure Erwin’s brought the documents with him outside the Walls, which tells us that they’ve obviously had previous discussions about this, that it was a group decision between them, of the necessity of leaving the walls in order to get close enough to Erwin to get the papers. Furlan says he made sure, talking about how he searched Erwin’s office top to bottom, observing that he found a bunch of unrelated documents, and in particular, a locked drawer which he found suspicious. Now what I find interesting here is Furlan��s internal thoughts, because I think he realized Erwin’s intentions already, but he dismissed his suspicions based on them seeming unlikely to him. But in his memory, he thinks, when he sees the locked drawer, that it’s almost like it was made to be searched, and upon opening it, he finds plenty of secret looking documents, but not the ones they need. He then wonders if Erwin is trying to tell him that they’re not there. What’s so interesting about this is just how deep is shows Erwin’s manipulation of this situation actually goes, and how many steps ahead he actually is. We saw in chapter 3 how Erwin was standing at his office window, observing Furlan, which tells us that he was always aware that Furlan was going to try and find the documents, which in turn lead to Erwin arranging his office to nudge Furlan in the right direction, of thinking the documents aren’t anywhere at HQ. Furlan picks up on this possibility, that Erwin is in fact manipulating them, wondering to himself if Erwin WANTS him to think he has the papers on him, giving him the “run around”, but he dismisses the thought out of hand a moment later. What this tells me is just how in control Erwin is here, and it made me think that it’s possible Erwin influenced Furlan’s thinking in this direction, to assuming Erwin had the papers with him, as a means of keeping him, Levi and Isabel there in the military longer, delaying their escape, so that he could intentionally force them outside the walls on an expedition, so he could see what they were actually capable of. At the end of chapter 4, after seeing Levi take down that abnormal titan, he observes to himself, “So your wings are the real thing, after all, Levi.”. This is just speculation on my part, but given what a masterful manipulator Erwin really is, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his plan the whole time, knowing Levi and his friends wouldn’t and couldn’t leave until they had the documents.

Alright, next observation. It’s kind of funny how, after laying out his plan to search Erwin’s bags with Isabel, and asking Levi to guard the passageway Erwin went down with Shadis, and to stop him if he started to come back before they were finished, Levi’s first assumption is that he should start a fight with Erwin, lol.

More interesting is when Furlan says to Levi “Don’t kill him, even by accident. After all, if we lose an officer outside the walls, we’ll be in trouble, too.”. Because it tells us that they weren’t ever planning on killing Erwin outside of the walls when they went out on expedition. The goal was to try and find the documents, and hoping going beyond the walls would yield an opportunity to do so. This is another, vital change from the visual novel. In that, Levi is still obsessing over killing Erwin, over any consideration for the original plan, ranting even that he’s going to make Erwin get down on his knees and beg for his life before killing him, and that just struck me as wildly out of character for him. They wisely took out that entire piece of dialog here, and instead we lead into a scene of Levi guarding the passageway, and remembering the whole reason for why he agreed to come to the surface in the first place. We go into a flashback of Lovof’s messenger making contact with Levi and the others, propositioning them with Lovof’s commission. What’s really important in this scene is Levi’s initial reaction to the proposal. He’s immediately skeptical and disbelieving, and doesn’t want anything to do with it. He tells the messenger so, and tells him “Go back up there and I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything.”. Levi shows great instincts here, sensing the danger present for him and his friends, and outright rejects any association. It’s Furlan, then, who steps in and shows interest in the deal, calling the messenger back. Levi’s clearly confused, but yields to Furlan’s look, and Furlan proceeds to tell the messenger that they’ll have to think about it, but that they’re interested. Levi’s clearly not happy about this, and once the messenger leaves, he begins to protest, but Furlan cuts him off and starts to lay out his plan to tail the messenger to find out who his employer is. Isabel expresses disbelief that Furlan actually means to go through with this plan, and Furlan again brings up the dream of making it out of the Underground, talking about how rare a chance it is, to actually live in the Capital, obviously trying to entice both Levi and Isabel with the notion. Levi points out that even if they get the documents, it’ll just lead to them being Lovof’s next targets, and Furlan responds with his plan to blackmail Lovof instead. Levi’s still dubious on this idea, asking Furlan if he really thinks “those pigs will care about a threat from the Underground?”, and Furlan responds that it’s worth a shot. He then implores Levi and Isabel again, saying “Come on, you two, don’t you want to make it up there?”, and we cut back to Levi in the present, contemplating Furlan’s words. Again, we see Levi thinking long and hard on Furlan’s dreams here, over any thoughts he has of Erwin or revenge. He’s prioritizing Furlan’s wishes over his own still, thoughts occupied by what his friend wants.

Now, this leads into a really interesting and meaningful encounter with Erwin.

Well, the first thing I notice in the exchange is when Erwin calls Levi’s friends his “subordinates”, and Levi responds with “They’re not my subordinates…”. This tells us so much about how he views himself in relation to Furlan and Isabel. He doesn’t see himself as their leader. He doesn’t want to control them. He just sees himself as their friend, and protector.

Now the conversation between Levi and Erwin gets really interesting when Erwin starts talking about having seen Levi take down the abnormal titan from earlier, and he observes that with a natural like Levi around, the others must feel safer. Levi looks at Erwin with wide eyes, before responding to him that the reason he was able to figure out how to fight that titan before was because he watched how it moved as it ate another soldier. I think Levi’s feelings of guilt here are pretty obvious. He feels bad for having watched another soldier die, and using his observations while watching to figure out how to kill the titan. It’s like he’s arguing with Erwin here, telling him the others shouldn’t feel safer with him around, that they shouldn’t rely on him. Levi is showing doubt in himself here, again, just like earlier when he pushed back again Furlan’s claims that as long as he’s with them, they’ll be safe. Interestingly, it’s Erwin who essentially tells Levi here that he shouldn’t feel guilty, that the SC is built on those types of sacrifices, and that as long as they’re fighting to take back the world for humanity, none of the soldiers there would feel regret for dedicating themselves to such a cause. I think this is actually the start of the turning point in how Levi views Erwin. He looks at him here with an almost astonished expression, like he’s seeing Erwin in a sudden, new light. Like he’s starting to doubt his own, initial impressions of him, and wonder if maybe he wasn’t totally right. But before he can think on it further, Isabel shows up and calls him away.

Levi then learns that Furlan and Isabel weren’t able to find the documents, essentially confirming that if they’re anywhere, they have to be on Erwin’s person, which leads to the inevitability of having to kill him if they want to get their hands on the papers. Levi’s find with this, because it’s what he wants to do anyway, even as Furlan shows continued apprehension.

And then we get the scene with Hange.

It’s pretty funny that Levi was about to gut Hange, for real, when he thought she had overheard their conversation. It tells us how far he’s willing to go though to protect his friends.

Still, this whole scene is actually pretty moving, in its way. Because Hange is really the first person to express genuine gratitude towards Levi and his friends, and treat them as genuine equals, to which we see Isabel in particular respond after seemingly being unimpressed. Even Levi seems stunned, muttering out “thanks”, like he doesn’t know what else to say as Hange heaps praise on them. It’s also funny how Furlan has to remind Levi to “be nice.”. Poor Levi just doesn’t know how to socialize.

But the important part of this scene is when Hange points out how everyone there is wanting to know how Levi was able to take down a titan so easily, drawing their attention, and Levi’s in particular, to the other soldiers watching them. Hange affirms what Erwin had said to Levi earlier, about how his presence there made the others feel safer, when she says “You’ve given them hope that humans don’t have to lose to the titans if we fight correctly.”. And we see here, I think, the first seeds being planted in Levi’s mind that he might be able to do more, that he might be able to actually help these people. He’s been told as much twice in quick succession. I think this is where Levi starts to get the idea for the first time that he might have found somewhere where he belongs. We’ll get more into this next chapter, when I talk about his conversation with Isabel. But for now, after Hange asks him again if he has any advice, he tells them he just has his own way of doing things, and he can’t teach it to anybody. When she tries to insist, he blows her off and looks away.

Furlan asks Levi, after Hange leaves, what the big deal is in just showing them some simple trick, and Levi says he doesn’t want to be responsible for the loves of anyone other than you two. This is really important, because it again tells us a lot about Levi’s psychology here. He doesn’t want to teach these people how to fight because he doesn’t want to be responsible for them getting hurt or killed. Just as he expressed discomfort earlier with what Erwin said, and his own sense of guilt over how he figured out how to fight the titan, Levi really seems to me like he’s afraid here of failing to protect others, and actually harbors deep doubts about his own ability to do so. So even as we know people tend to flock around Levi and follow him in the belief he can protect them, Levi himself is afraid that he isn’t strong enough to help them the way they want him to. It’s indicative of someone who’s experienced deep loss in their life, which we know Levi has at this point. Someone who’s afraid of making attachments because he doesn’t want to have to experience the pain of that loss ever again. And it shows a painful insecurity in Levi. He wants to help people, but he doesn’t want to end up failing them, or doing something which could lead to them getting hurt or killed. He doesn’t want to be responsible for their lives, because he’s afraid he can’t be.

Furlan tells him not to be so dramatic, and Levi doesn’t say anything in return, but we see a resigned, saddened look on his face, like he knows Furlan wouldn’t understand if he tried to explain how he feels.

Then we get Isabel’s comment about not understanding trying to take back the world for humanity, but her starting to realize the Scouts genuinely believe in what they’re doing. We see Levi’s silence again in response, but this one is more contemplative. He himself is starting to realize the same as Isabel. That these people really believe in what they’re saying. And again we go back to the first seeds of a sense of belonging starting to develop in Levi, even before his big moment with Erwin at the end. He’s starting to sense that maybe he’s found a place where he belongs, where he can actually use his abilities in a way that could make an actual difference in the world. It’s subconscious at this point, but Levi is starting to get that sense I think.

7. Chapter 6: Living Creatures

Okay, onto chapter 6 of “No Regrets”!

So the first thing I want to jump into here is, once again, something which the manga vastly improved on over the visual novel, and that was the scene following the flashback to Levi and his friends learning about the long-distance scouting formation before the expedition, and then Flagon’s instructions to them in the present. I don’t think this scene was even included in the visual novel, but it’s indispensable in understanding Levi’s mindset going into the fateful final act.

Isabel gets carried away by Flagon’s speech, and ends up saluting, expressing genuine enthusiasm for the SC’s cause, before realizing what she’s done and turning around, seeing Levi and Furlan looking back at her in silence. Furlan looks unimpressed, while Levi wears his usual stoic expression. You can’t tell one way or the other what he’s thinking, which is why the next scene is so hugely important, because we get a look into his inner thoughts.

I saw another person say not long ago that in this scene, Isabel expresses a desire to join the SC, and Levi blows her off and ignores her, only thinking about his revenge on Erwin, and to that person, I would like to ask ‘What scene were you reading?’, because that’s pretty much the opposite of what happens here. This scene reveals so much about Levi’s own, inner conflict, and how he’s beginning HIMSELF to understand and even sympathize with the cause of the SC, and the soldiers who have dedicated themselves to it. Let’s dissect it here a bit.

The scene takes place at night, before they ride out again, and Levi is sitting up with Furlan and Isabel, and he’s thinking quietly to himself. The first thing he’s recalling in his contemplation here is Sairam’s words, asking Levi if he knows how many elite soldiers have been eaten by Titans. This plainly shows Levi’s growing concern for Furlan and Isabel. The longer they spend outside the walls, the higher the risk of something going wrong, and that’s a worry that’s heavy on Levi’s mind here.

He then remembers, in quick succession, all these various interactions and the words of different people throughout his short time up here on the surface. He recalls Sairam hurling insults at him and his friends, calling them punks, and then Hange’s opposite words of encouragement and appreciation, telling them they’ve given everyone hope. He recalls Furlan’s words, telling Levi that with him there, they’ll really be able to raise hell, and then Isabel’s words, pointing out that the SC soldiers really believe their cause is worth dying for. Finally, Levi recalls Flagon’s degrading words, about how Levi and his friends have spent their whole lives in a trash heap, implying they’ll never amount to anything more than garbage, and last, he recalls Erwin’s words, how he’d seen the desire to kill in Levi during their first encounter.

All of this is hugely important to understanding Levi’s psychology, I think, and understanding his feelings of conflict and confusion, and how it ultimately plays into him making the choice he does. For Sairam’s and Flagon’s words, it’s the assumption people have made about Levi all his life, that he’s nothing but a worthless criminal who can’t do anything good for anyone, and Levi’s struggle to overcome that perception that people have of him. In contrast to that, Hange’s words are sending Levi the opposite message, that he isn’t just a worthless criminal, but someone who can actually contribute something positive and important to other people’s lives. He’s someone who can inspire hope. Something Levi’s always secretly wished he could do. And then there’s Furlan’s words, serving as a confirmation to Hange’s, in which he expresses his reliance on Levi to help make his own dreams come true, and Levi seeing himself in that role, of taking care of these two people whom he loves. And there’s Isabel’s words, a clear admiration and astonishment at the realization that these soldiers really believe in a cause bigger than themselves.

We see all of Levi’s greater hopes, his desire and wish to help other people, coming into conflict here with the way he’s been treated all his life by others, as a worthless, good for nothing criminal, and how that treatment has forced him to become the very thing they accuse him of being, someone ready and willing to kill, someone ready to commit crimes, etc… It’s Levi’s pride and anger battling with his deeper desire to protect and help others. The thing his life and his environment has FORCED him to become, against his truer nature. This is such a vital, important scene, and once again, the manga succeeds in explaining and revealing Levi’s complexity as a character, whereas the visual novel just flat out butchered it.

Now getting back to Levi’s interaction with Isabel in this scene, and the woeful misinterpretation I saw another person make one time.

Furlan is talking about how, given the complexity of the formation, they won’t be able to break ranks without being spotted, and he suggests they should just wait until they’re back behind the walls before trying to steal the documents again. Levi points out that if all three of them leave, then yeah, they’ll likely be spotted, and gives no further opinion. Already, Levi is thinking that maybe he could go after Erwin and the documents alone, thinking of taking the entire burden of the operation on himself, carrying the hopes and dreams of all of them on his shoulders alone, (which is why he later calls himself conceited and proud, having relied on his own strength entirely, instead of his friends too, ending in failure, which in turn goes back to the very beginning, with Levi’s statement about never knowing what the better option is, to rely on oneself, or on their comrades). But anyway, he doesn’t protest or try to counter Furlan when he says they should just focus on getting back alive. Isabel expresses agreement, and then says she knows the documents are important, but she also doesn’t want to get in the way of the SC and what they’re trying to do. Now here’s where the conversation gets really important in, once more, understanding Levi’s psychology.

He and Furlan look over at her, and while Levi stays silent, Furlan gets annoyed, chastising Isabel for seeming to suddenly care about the other soldiers, accusing her of only caring because Hange’s cookies were good. Furlan clearly doesn’t understand Isabel’s sentiments here, he doesn’t get why she suddenly seems concerned. He’s still focused on their own goals, and that’s all that matters to him. But Isabel begins to explain that it’s just that she’s starting to understand why the SC goes out beyond the walls, and likens it to how they felt living in the Underground, wanting to escape to the world above. She’s saying she understands that sense of being trapped, of being imprisoned, and the longing for freedom. And then she talks about seeing lots of her friends dying underground, while dreaming of making it “up there.”, and how seeing that made her feel like she HAD to get up there. It’s like Isabel is saying here that her dream to make it to the surface was strengthened by the dreams of others who never got to realize it for themselves, and that she wanted to make it to the surface, more than anything, as a way of giving the dreams of those who had died without realizing them, meaning. By making it to the surface FOR THEM. She starts to try and explain what she means, saying ‘It’s…” before Levi suddenly speaks for the first time since her monologue, saying “It’s like leaving the walls behind to kill the Titans…”

This is such a huge moment. Because contrary to what I saw this one person claim once, Levi is acknowledging Isabel’s feelings, and expressing empathy with them. He’s telling Isabel here that he understands what she means, because he feels it too. This desire to fight for freedom as a way to give meaning to the suffering of those who couldn’t escape their imprisonment. Levi, rather than ignoring or blowing Isabel off here, is relating to her. Her feelings are his own. Isabel smiles dreamily and says “Yeah.” Because Levi put her thoughts into words. She then keeps talking to Levi, starting to ramble about what she wants to do when they get to live in the Capital, how fun she thinks it would be to steal from all the “rich pigs” and use their money to buy useless junk, before she falls asleep.

Furlan then kind of bursts this bubble of reverie that Isabel and Levi have fallen into, and what he says here is, again, so important. He says “I’ve got to revise our plan. We’ll need to steal the documents before you and she start seriously talking about dedicating your hearts, or whatever.” Furlan’s perceived how Levi’s own feelings are beginning to match up with Isabel’s, how he’s starting to feel drawn to and sympathetic towards the SC’s cause, and he’s worried, because that’s not what they’re supposed to be there for. They’re supposed to be there to steal the documents so they can get a chance to live in the Capital. This is Furlan’s dream, ultimately, and he doesn’t want to lose sight of it to some unrealistic ideal. What’s so interesting here is the contrast between Levi and Furlan. While Levi is so quiet and reserved and hard to read, he’s actually showing himself to be more of the dreamer of the two, while Furlan is much more practical and less prone to fanciful, ideal notions like helping people beyond their own means.

We get one last shot of Levi gazing at Isable, thoughtfully. He’s still thinking about her words.

Alright, then comes the next big scene, with all of them outside again, to try Erwin’s new formation. We see, again, Levi’s gradually shifting opinion of Erwin already, when he remarks that Erwin’s idea is “brilliant”, once he sees how it works, expressing genuine admiration for it and Erwin’s mind. Levi still hates Erwin, and want to kill him, but we already see this desire in him starting to crack and come apart, replaced by an almost astonished curiosity instead. Like he isn’t sure what Erwin is, but he’s impressed, in spite of himself.

Then the storm comes and everything starts to fall apart.

Another, massive and vital change here in the manga from the visual novel is Levi’s reaction to the sudden storm. In the visual novel, Levi’s first and only response to it is that he can use it as cover to go after and kill Erwin, sparing no thought to the safety of his friends, or the other people in his squad. It was another instance in which I thought Levi’s characterization in the novel was just horribly butchered, and so once again, I was so glad to see them correct it here. Levi’s first response, after he, Furlan and Isabel start to lose contact with Flagon and the others, is to scream at his friends to not get separated. He's only worried about them in this moment, and wants to make sure they don’t lose contact with each other. He isn’t thinking at all about leaving them here yet. Just this small addition completely changes Levi’s motivations and priorities, leading into the fateful choice, and it’s immeasurably better characterization for him then what was presented in the visual novel. I’ll get more into it with the next chapter. So until then, thanks again for reading.

8. Chapter 7: Those Three

Okay, onto chapter 7 of “No Regrets”, and there’s really no need for me to say that this is by far the most heartbreaking chapter. I think, perhaps, the most tragic part of it all is that Levi made the choice that he did because he was actually trying to protect everyone. Now I’m going to break his choice down and get into the details of that, so let’s just dive right in.

First off, I want to talk a little about, once more, the pivotal contrasts between the way Levi’s choice is presented here in the manga, and how it was presented in the visual novel, and why, like everything the manga’s done so far, it’s an immeasurable improvement in the manga.

Basically, the way Levi’s choice in the visual novel plays out doesn’t in any way relate to his later philosophy which serves as the driving force behind Levi’s character in the main SnK series, while the way his choice plays out in the manga relates to it completely.

In the visual novel, it isn’t even really a choice at all. There isn’t any consideration or struggle for Levi to choose one way or the other. Levi acts purely on impulse, and as I stated in my analysis for chapter 6, he reacts to the sudden storm by wanting to use it as cover so he can go and kill Erwin. That’s it. That’s his sole motivation for leaving his friends behind. He puts no thought into it, he doesn’t consider the ramifications, he doesn’t seemingly care about anything at all except killing Erwin, and to hell with the consequences. Again, this is so wildly out of character for Levi, that I could hardly believe it while I was reading it. To make matters worse, when Furlan tries arguing with him and tries to convince him to stay, the writing directly contradicts its earlier statement that Levi didn’t consider Furlan and Isabel to be his subordinates by having him snap back at Furlan that he’s (meaning Levi) the one who decides, almost rubbing his higher rank in their social interactions in Furlan’s face, before just riding off without another thought. It’s just awful characterization. And, as I said, completely severs any relation of Levi’s actions here to the philosophy he later develops and adheres to so strongly in the main series, indeed, the philosophy that he lives by and which governs his actions, the philosophy that serves as his character motif. It turns it into a decision made purely through emotion, a purely selfish and thoughtless act taken, and indeed, the only lesson Levi would be able to take from that sort of impulsive decision making would be that he should put more thought into his actions in the future, because if he does that, then this sort of thing won’t happen again.

But that’s not the lesson Levi learns, and that’s not the foundation of his philosophy.

Levi’s entire philosophy revolves around him understanding and accepting that he can never know the outcome of any given choice he makes until after the fact, no matter how much effort and thought he puts into trying to make the right one, and finding a kind of freedom in relinquishing that control. It is absolutely vital, then, in order for Levi’s choice in “No Regrets” to mean anything, and for it to in any way relate to the philosophy which governs him later, for it to have been a well thought out and deeply considered choice, and that’s exactly what it’s presented as in the manga.

Now I want to break his choice down here panel by panel to get into why.

First of all, the first key difference between the manga and visual novel, is here in the manga, Furlan is the one who first points out that the situation for them is bad, because in this weather, it’s likely Erwin will get eaten by a Titan, and if that happens, they won’t be able to get the papers they’ve been after this whole time. Levi isn’t shown even THINKING about any of that up to this point. He’s only shown concern for Furlan and Isabel, wanting to make sure they stay together, and sticking himself by their sides. Furlan goes on to say here that in order to take the papers, they’re going to have to head to the center of the formation. Furlan’s the one who brings the entire subject of Erwin and the documents up here, not Levi, and this is a huge and important difference.

They hear Flagon fire the sound grenade, and realize he and Sairam aren’t far off. Furlan says they might be able to join them somehow, but then he hesitates, and says “but… Levi.”

Furlan is looking to Levi here and asking him to make a decision for their group. Do they go off together and try to get to Erwin before he gets eaten by a Titan and they lose their final opportunity to get the documents they need, or do they go and join Flagon. Furlan puts the responsibility onto Levi’s shoulders here.

Now here’s where things get really complex, and we see how truly nuanced, considered, and thought out Levi’s choice really was, and ultimately, then, why it turning out to be the wrong choice is so deeply tragic.

Furlan and Isabel both are looking at Levi, waiting for him to choose, and we get to see Levi’s internal thoughts.

The first thing he thinks in this situation is to weigh the worth of the lives of his squad and his friends against his own, and this is so exactly like Levi, and once more shows infinitely better characterization of him than what was done in the visual novel. Levi thinks here “If the three of us go, the team we leave behind will be shorthanded.” This is literally Levi showing private concern for the lives of Flagon and Sairam, knowing that if he takes Isabel and Furlan with him, those two’s chances of survival out in this weather diminish drastically. He then thinks “If I go alone, there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find them again.” He’s considering his own chances of survival here, if he strikes out on his own. He knows that if he does, his own chances of getting killed increase. So here we see Levi struggling with whether to prioritize the lives of his squad, or himself. Ultimately, he decides to prioritize the lives of his squad. And I’ll get more into that in a moment.

But Levi continues to struggle. He tells himself “Which is it? Pick one.”, as the storm worsens around him. He’s agonizing over it. And then he closes his eyes, and he thinks of Isabel, remembers her saluting Flagon from the night before, and the understanding for the SC’s cause that she expressed, and how he himself understood it, and her sympathy, even her empathy with how they felt, saying she didn’t want to get in their way, meaning she didn’t want to compromise their mission. Levi himself has been developing an attachment to these soldiers, and an admiration and understanding of their dedication, seeing how like his own desire to fight for and protect the lives of others it is. To leave Flagon and Sairam to their fate and unprotected, then, would be both a betrayal to Isabel’s feelings and wishes, and his own. Levi doesn’t want to be the cause of Flagon’s and Saiyam’s deaths by taking Isabel and Furlan with him and leaving them by themselves. Also, in remembering the way Isabel saluted Flagon and her enthusiasm for the SC’s dedication, Levi must also have realized, if he took Isabel with him to steal from and kill Erwin, it would destroy any future chance she might have of ever joining the SC again, if that was something she wanted. To take her with him would implicate her in his crimes and rob her of that possible future.

Levi then thinks of Furlan and Isabel in the Underground, looking at him, and Furlan explaining to him his plans, his hopes and dreams of using this new found opportunity to make it to the world above and make for themselves better lives. He’s remembering Furlan, and Furlan’s reliance on him to make that dream come true. Remember how Furlan told Levi “With you here, we’ll really be able to raise hell.”. His plan always hinged on having Levi’s strength and ability in order to succeed. Levi knows, then, if he chooses to not go after Erwin then and there, and get the documents from him, Furlan’s dreams will be dashed, and Levi will have failed to help make them come true. And Levi has gone along with Furlan’s plans up to this point, against his own, better judgment, specifically because he wanted to help realize Furlan’s dream, to make it a reality. To abandon it now, after all of that, must have seemed unacceptable to Levi.

And then Levi remembers Erwin, standing over him in the Underground, superior and smug, callous and uncaring for how he’s disrupted and threatened the lives of Levi and his friends. He remembers his anger at Erwin, his feeling of humiliation and rage.

And it’s this memory, finally, after all the others, after considering the lives of Flagon and Sairam, after considering Isabel’s wishes, and Furlan’s dream, that tips the scale for Levi in deciding that he has to go alone after Erwin. It’s the weight of all those factors, the fear of letting Flagon and Sairam die, the fear of letting Furlan and Isabel down, on top of Levi’s own pain and anger, that decides it for him. If he doesn’t go after Erwin alone, if he takes Furlan and Isabel with him, Flagon and Sairam will probably die, and both Furlan and Isabel will be implicated in the crime of theft and murder. If he stays with Isabel and Furlan to join up with Flagon and Sairam, then Furlan’s and Isabel’s dreams likely go out the window.

This is no snap decision on Levi’s part. It’s a deeply considered, thought out and in many ways selfless choice he makes. And, again, that’s really what makes it so horribly tragic. Levi was really TRYING to do the right thing here, was genuinely acting in a way he thought was for the best, for all parties involved. He gave just as much, really MORE consideration to Furlan and Isabel and Flagon and Sairam than he did to himself. It was the combined weight of the interests of all the other people involved that pushes Levi towards the choice he makes, and his desire for vengeance on Erwin is just the final straw which tips the scale in that direction, not the one and only deciding factor. It is, from all angles of consideration, the best choice to make.

So Levi tells them he’s going alone, and tells Furlan and Isabel to join up with Flagon. He says he’ll get the documents, that’s the FIRST thing he’s going to do. Not kill Erwin. It’s the documents Levi is prioritizing here. And since he’s going after Erwin to get the documents anyway, he’ll also, he says, be the one to kill him. In Levi’s view, he’s being presented with a chance here to succeed in all their goals. In Levi’s view, this must be a win/win situation if he can find Erwin and do what needs to be done.

Furlan starts to protest, before Isabel cuts him off and says she’s going with Levi too, and Levi asks her, if she comes with him, who does she think is more likely to die, just him, or Flagon and Sairam. He’s reminding her here of her desire to not get in the way of the SC soldiers, of her sympathy and empathy towards them, and is imploring her to realize that going with him will leave Flagon and Sairam vulnerable. He’s telling Isabel that he can take care of himself, more than those two can. He says, specifically, If the four of you stay together, it’ll raise their chances of survival.”. He knows it’s dangerous to strike out on his own in this kind of weather, but he knows it increases his squad’s chances of survival if he does. Levi makes the decision here to place the lives of Flagon and Sairam over his own, and to support Isabel’s own feelings in the process.

And then Furlan begins to protest again, telling Levi to keep his cool and think, trying to explain that if he just waits a little while, the fog might clear up. He’s clearly afraid that if Levi goes out there on his own, he’ll get killed.

Levi asks Furlan then if he’s saying the Titans will wait until then, reminding Furlan that each moment they fail to act and go after Erwin, is another moment in which Erwin could get eaten, and risks Furlan’s dream being destroyed.

Furlan continues to protest, trying to impress on Levi how dangerous it is, to act alone, and Levi shouts back that he heard Furlan already, before insisting that he can do this by himself. And then he screams at Furlan “Trust me!!”. He’s putting the same request on Furlan that Furlan before put on Levi, asking for his trust, asking for his belief. Furlan may be ready to give up on his dream for the sake of Levi’s safety, but Levi isn’t ready to give up on Furlan’s dream for the same.

They glare at each other, and then Furlan asks “Is that an order, Levi?”, and Levi’s reaction to that question speaks volumes.

He looks shocked at it, his expression one of clear surprise and confusion.

He then asks “An order…?” like he doesn’t understand why Furlan would even ask something like that, before saying “Why does it have to come to that? I’m just… The two of you…”

This is in such sharp contrast to the way they had Levi acting in the visual novel and is, once more, infinitely superior.

It shows so plainly that Levi doesn’t want to be considered Furlan’s and Isabel’s leader, he doesn’t want to be treated as their leader. He only wants to be their friend, and for them to see him as their friend, and as someone they can depend and rely upon to always care about them and their dreams, as someone who will always fight for them and their dreams. He says “The two of you…” before trailing off, like he doesn’t know how to express any of that. But that’s what Levi is trying to say, he just doesn’t know how, as usual. He’s bad at expressing himself. He’s trying to tell Furlan that he’s going after Erwin because he’s trying to still make their dreams come true, he’s trying to support them and protect them and ensure that this entire situation they’ve gotten themselves into isn’t in vain. Levi’s expression as he looks back at Furlan here is heartbreakingly earnest. He looks open and vulnerable, as if imploring Furlan to understand.

And Furlan looks back, and finally realizes what Levi is trying to tell him. And when he realizes it, he smiles, and laughs. Because he realizes Levi is doing this for him, and for Isabel, and for Flagon and Sairam, even. He realizes Levi truly means well here, and has made the choice he has after deep thought and consideration. That this isn’t an impulsive or hotheaded choice, that he IS thinking clearly. Levi is confused by his reaction, and Furlan keeps laughing along with Isabel, before telling Levi “Fine. I’ll trust you.”, giving Levi the same regard Levi before showed him before, in agreeing to follow Furlan’s plan. Furlan chooses to trust in Levi’s decision making, chooses to trust in Levi’s own plan now. And then he tells Levi not to die, and Isabel tells him to make sure he comes back. They’re scared for him, but they’re choosing to trust him.

We get a significant panel then, as Furlan and Isabel fall back from him, and Levi looks back at them, as if still uncertain in his choice, despite all the thought he put into it. He’s still filled with self-doubt, even as Furlan had just moments before expressed belief in him. Like he thinks there’s something he must be missing, even though he’s sure he thought out every possible scenario and reason for choosing as he did.

What’s important too, in understanding Levi’s choice, is that it never once occurs to him that Furlan and Isabel could die. He thinks Flagon and Sairam potentially will, if they all leave them behind, and he thinks he himself might, if he strikes out on his own. But he never thinks it a possibility that Furlan and Isabel could. He chooses then, in that moment, to also trust in the strength of his friends. He shows absolute belief in Furlan’s and Isabel’s strength, to the point that he believes Flagon and Sairam need them, more than he does. It isn’t even a thought Levi can entertain, that him choosing to leave will put Isabel and Furlan’s lives in danger. With all the consideration he does, all the thought he puts into making the right choice, it simply isn’t conceivable to him, that his friends could die. If he had thought that a possibility, if such a scenario had occurred to him, he never would have left. He genuinely believed, if all four of them stuck together, they would be alright, even if he himself wasn’t.

A few others points of note in this chapter.

When Isabel and Furlan meet up with Flagon and Sairam again, and Sairam asks if Levi is dead, Isabel reacts violently, screaming “Of course he isn’t!! Levi will come back. Bet on it!”. This emphasizes, in a truly heartbreaking way, Isabel’s own faith in Levi, and her need to believe he’ll be alright. She insists that Levi will come back, and this builds off of Isabel’s continued refrain throughout the story of how Levi is “the strongest”, both below and above. Levi is Isabel’s hero, and she clings to his perceived strength in this moment, needing to believe in it to comfort herself over his safety.

This runs parallel then to Levi coming upon the butchered squad from the first rank, and his horrified realization that there are at least four Titans that did this, and that they’re heading back the way Levi came from, meaning right for Isabel and Furlan and Flagon and Sairam. He immediately turns around and tries in a frantic dash to make it back in time, thinking desperately to himself that there’s too many Titans, and they’ll be overwhelmed. And then he comes upon the sight of Sairam being eaten, and he cries out for Furlan and Isabel.

Truly the most heartbreaking part about this entire scene is how Levi tries so desperately to make it to his friends in time, but how he just simply isn’t near enough too, and can only watch, then, as they die. For Levi, who’s entire identity revolves around wanting to help others, to protect others, his own helplessness in this situation must be truly horrific for him. And especially, his own helplessness in watching the two people that mean the most in the world to him get eaten alive.

Another truly heartbreaking moment here is how Isabel decides, in Levi’s absence, that she’s going to take on his role as protector, and save everyone. How Isabel’s admiration and hero worship of Levi is, indirectly, what gets her killed here. She wants to be just like him, and in trying to be like him, she ends up dying. All of this happens in front of Levi. He has to watch Isabel die while trying to do the thing he’s made himself responsible for, which is protecting the lives of others. And the way she starts to call out for him, right before the Titan’s jaws close around her, is truly gut wrenching. Levi’s expression here is one of such utter horror and shock too, before it turns to sudden, murderous rage, and he tries once more to close the distance and make it in time, only to have to watch both Flagon, and then Furlan both get eaten too.

Levi thinks to himself, as Furlan’s being lifted to the Titan’s mouth “I’m going to end up letting everyone die.” Before screaming out Furlan’s name. Levi is already blaming himself, already feeling the abject weight of his failure. This is the moment when he realizes his choice was the wrong one.

Furlan, in one of the saddest moments of all, finally sees Levi and, as if to say ‘it’s okay. This isn’t your fault’, waves to him in acknowledgment.

Maybe most cruel of all is how Levi, even in the face of his overwhelming fear and horror and self-hatred, clings desperately to hope, still trying with everything he has to make it in time to save at least one of his friends. He thinks to himself “Come on, make it in time!!”, and only to make it more tragic still, he almost DOES make it in time, just barely a moment too late as he slices off the hand of the Titan that had been holding Furlan. Levi misses saving Furlan’s life by mere moments. It’s truly the definition of tragic, and beyond traumatizing.

9. Chapter 8: Choices

Alright, and now I’ve reached the final chapter of “No Regrets”, so let’s just dive right in!

There really is so much more to unpack from this story than I think people realize.

Firstly, just a few, truly devastating observations I want to talk about.

The first one being how, even after Furlan gets swallowed by the Titan, Levi still believes he can save him. The fact that he cuts the Titan open from the chest down to his sternum, and free’s Furlan’s arm, and the panels which show Levi reaching out for his hand and ripping him from the Titan’s stomach is just… so heartbreaking. The way too that he gently carry’s him back to the ground and lays him out, only to discover that his entire lower half is gone, and he’s dead, just the level of trauma you know this must be causing Levi is immense, and beyond tragic. This is one of only two, true friends in his life, and he’s so desperate to have been able to save him, that he clings on to the possibility to the bitter end, until he’s forced to face the bleak reality. Levi’s devastation is really brilliantly depicted in how he wobbles, as if his knees are weak, when he stands back up.

And then of course comes Levi’s rage, and how he takes it out on the Titans, expressing his grief and pain in the only way he knows how, through violence.

But maybe the most heartbreaking moment here comes once he’s through killing every Titan there, and he starts to stumble away, and his foot comes into contact with Isabel’s severed head. This is, once more, another area in which the manga improved hugely over the visual novel.

Levi’s reaction here is just… the most heartbreaking thing ever. The way he stares when he realizes he’s looking at Isabel’s head, and then falls to his knees, his overwhelming grief here is just so beautifully depicted in these panels, as he reaches out a hand to cover her eyes, and then slides them closed, in an attempt to give her some sort of dignity in death. The way he can’t even look at her, just doubled over in his grief, just killed me to see. It’s so unspeakably sad, and conveys to us readers the true depth of Levi’s despair, I think.

And then we move on from this horrific grief, to the climactic moment of the story, when Levi and Erwin again come together, and we see Levi’s overwhelming rage. Again, this entire scene was a massive improvement over the visual novel. Well, for starters, in the visual novel, they had Levi cut Erwin’s horse down to bring him to the ground, and again, that’s just so out of character. Luckily, they fixed that here too, with Levi simply leaping up and dragging Erwin off his horse.

These panels really are amazing too is showing Levi’s intense rage, as he warns Mike to back the hell off, and brings his blade to Erwin’s neck.

What’s really interesting here is what Levi says.

After the struggle of the choice he made, before Furlan and Isabel were killed, after giving so much consideration and choosing based largely on their own dreams and wishes, Levi tells Erwin here “I’m going to kill you, you bastard. That’s why I’m here.”. And Erwin responds, after studying Levi a moment, “So they… all died? I see.”. Erwin gleans here, both from Levi’s words and expression, that his friends have died, and what he says indicates that he knows the only reason Levi hasn’t tried to kill him before now is because Furlan’s and Isabel’s own well being and their own dreams were the only thing holding Levi back. Levi made no attempt on Erwin’s life before because he was placing Furlan’s and Isabel’s wishes above his own, but now that they’re gone, there’s nothing to keep Levi from acting out his revenge.

This is also where we get Erwin’s full reveal of just how in control of this entire situation he’s been this whole time, and how he manipulated every player and outcome to his desires.

This really isn’t something I see get discussed a whole lot when talking about Levi’s relationship with Erwin, and how it started out. But, unquestionably, Erwin used Levi and his friends against their consent, to achieve his own ends. He set the whole thing up, from first spreading rumors about having some sort of evidence against Lovof’s embezzlement, to then spreading the information that he was looking to recruit Levi and his friends from the Underground, thereby giving Lovof the very idea of going to them to obtain his own proof of the evidence’s existence, while simultaneously leading Erwin to the definitive proof he sought by following the messenger Lovof sent and intercepting him. At the same time, giving Erwin a means of throwing Lovof off by using Levi, Furlan and Isabel for cover. It really is incredibly impressive, but also heartbreaking, the way Erwin used Levi and his friends to his own ends, but of course, perfectly in character for Erwin too, willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals. It begs certain questions though about the equality between Erwin and Levi, at least at the start of their relationship. Erwin clearly had the control and power in this situation, and though clearly he never meant for Furlan and Isabel to die, still, his decision to rope Levi and them into his plans to catch Lovof and also to gain their strength and skill for the SC, did lead indirectly to their deaths. Surely, if Erwin had never meddled in their lives, and used them as tools, they would have all still been alive in the Underground.

But of course, this leads into a really interesting clash, then, between Levi and Erwin, and where we see Erwin win Levi over to his cause. This is, as is becoming a redundant theme of my analysis here, a giant improvement over the visual novel. There, it makes it seems as if Levi decides to follow Erwin only because Erwin has something Levi lacks, and until he can figure out what that something is, he won’t be able to “defeat him”, implying that Levi is still somehow obsessed with beating Erwin in some way. Like he isn’t joining Erwin to fight for his dream of a better world, but because he wants to figure out what Erwin has that he doesn’t, so he can become superior, or whatever. But here, in the manga, Levi’s reasons for deciding to follow Erwin are much more complex, and tied in with his own personal drive of wanting to help and save others, and into his relationship with Furlan and Isabel.

Levi tells him “It wasn’t worth throwing away their lives! They were nothing but pawns in your worthless game. Well, you lose.”, right before he means to take Erwin’s head off.

What’s interesting here is Erwin’s response. He doesn’t try to deny to Levi that he used Furlan and Isabel and Levi himself as pawns. He doesn’t argue, or try to defend himself on that front. What he takes issue with is Levi calling the reasons for it a “worthless game”.

Erwin’s entire speech to Levi here really builds off of the feelings Levi had already started to develop, about feeling like he had maybe found a place to belong, where he could maximize the good he could do. This wasn’t yet a fully formed idea in Levi’s head, up to this point, but the seeds of it had started to form.

Erwin asks Levi who’s responsible for killing his friends. He asks if it was him, if it was Levi, and then he asks if he really thought that if they had come together to attack Erwin, that they would have made it out alive.

This is what Levi is beating himself up over, of course. The belief that he made the wrong decision, in leaving Furlan and Isabel behind, thinking to himself if they hadn’t split up, they would still be alive. He blames himself for how he came to that decision, and starts to say as much to Erwin here, saying it was his conceit and his pride that was to blame, no doubt thinking of how it was his memory of Erwin and the humiliation he caused Levi that was the final tipping point which decided him in favor of going after Erwin himself, and also how he simply convinced himself that he would be able to shoulder all of the responsibility himself in such a dire situation, remembering how he told Furlan “I can do it by myself!” so insistently, asking him to trust him, to trust essentially in Levi’s strength. To Levi, in this moment, his own strength must have seemed worthless suddenly, his belief in it leading to nothing but abject failure. But then Erwin cuts him off and says, emphatically that, no, it was the Titans who killed them, before beginning to talk about how little they know about the Titans, and how if they continue to remain ignorant like that, they’ll never win against them. He tells Levi to look around himself, and points out how, for as far as the eye can see, there are no walls, and then suggests that, in all that open space, there might be something they can find to free humanity from its despair and imprisonment. And then he reminds Levi that there are people who want to stop this from this from happening, only concerned with their own profits and losses, content to stay where danger can’t reach them. He shows sympathy, saying it’s understandable why they feel that way, because they’ve been blinded by the walls for a hundred years, and can’t see past their own survival.

And then he asks Levi if his eyes have remained clouded too. He’s asking Levi here if he only knows how to live for himself, and if he’ll kill him and return to the Underground to continue to do so, after losing the two people he cared most about in this world.

But of course, Levi’s already learned how to live for people other than himself. That was his whole reason for coming to the Surface in the first place. In support and dedication to the hopes and dreams of his friends. Levi’s eyes HAVEN’T been clouded, he’s already discovered and embraced what it means to give your life for others, already able to see past his own benefit.

Erwin reminds Levi of that here, and tells him they won’t give up on going outside the walls, before asking Levi to fight with the Survey Corps, telling him “Humanity needs your skill!!”. He reminds Levi, even after the loss of the two people whom he had been living for up to that point, that he can continue to live for others still, that he can still fight for the hopes and dreams of others, and that he doesn’t have to return to the life of isolation and loneliness and futility that he once lived, that he doesn’t have to return to simply surviving, or fighting only to survive. He’s reminding Levi that his life can mean more than that, just like he realized when he became friends with Isabel and Furlan. That his life can have purpose, and that, if he lends his strength to the SC, he can do more even than help a few people. He can, in fact, help all of humanity.

The following panels show Levi coming to this realization. He remembers Furlan and Isabel at his sides as they rode out into the open for the first time, into the first, true sense of freedom they had ever known, and their shared awe and wonder at the sight. And Levi is realizing here, just as he had fought for his friends dreams of freedom, and of a better, more hopeful life, he can continue to fight for the same, only for everybody, for all people. He can make the most of his abilities, and help the most people, by staying in the SC and fighting at Erwin’s side, fighting for Erwin’s vision of something beyond the walls, of a kind of salvation for humanity.

What Erwin gives Levi here, really, the thing Erwin gives Levi that he before lacked, is a sense of hope. A belief in his own ability to make a meaningful, positive impact on the lives of others. It’s like Erwin’s own belief in that hope for humanity’s salvation is so strong, that Levi finds himself able to believe in it too, and he decides then and there that, for the sake of that hope, for the sake of the vision of something better, Levi will stay by Erwin’s side. Because it’s what Levi’s always wanted to do, to fight for the hopes and dreams of others, to fight to make the lives of other people better, and Erwin has shown him the way to do so. He shows Levi that Furlan and Isabel didn’t die for a “worthless game”, but for the sake of all human kind, and that’s why Levi is able to let go of his anger towards Erwin and follow him. And that really feeds into Levi’s need, later on, for every soldier’s death to carry meaning. If he can believe Furlan and Isabel died for a truly important reason, he can accept it and cope with his grief. Like Isabel expressed herself before, these people genuinely believe their cause is worth dying for, and Erwin reminds Levi of this again.

So he forgets his anger and pain, and chooses instead to follow Erwin, and dedicate himself to the cause of humanity’s salvation.

The final panels of the manga are incredibly moving, with Levi slowing down behind Erwin and Mike, and glancing back one last time to where he lost his two, best friends, before looking away and riding on, as the sun shines through the clouds. Like one, final acknowledgment of their lives together, and the sacrifice they made, before committing himself fully to his new life ahead.

10. Prologue

Just a small note on the prologue. It opens up with Furlan and Isabel and Levi sitting beneath the only, real source of sunlight in the Underground, watching the birds in the sky. Isabel wonders where they’re going, and Furlan answers “Far away... They can fly even beyond the walls. To Places we couldn’t go eve with those machines.” Isabel smiles, and says “Got that right! Just you wait!�� I’ll go with you someday.”, while Levi looks up into the sky, silent. This is only further proof of how Furlan and Isabel both expressed their dream of someday making it on the surface, of achieving freedom from the prison of the Underground, and how Levi would sit and listen to them say things like this. We see shots of just how grim and harsh the Underground really is here, with people lying passed out and sick in the streets, the pervasive, overwhelming darkness, and just overall depressing atmosphere. It’s the kind of place that, clearly, robs people of their will to live. Of any kind of hope. It’s important to note that Levi himself never expresses any such dream, or desire. He never voices that he wants to make it to the surface. This is Furlan’s and Isabel’s dream, their hope, and Levi hears it from them seemingly often. Probably, because of how hard his life has been, Levi’s never even considered it a real possibility, and so never even entertained the idea of it becoming real. But for Furlan and Isabel, he was willing to try. He went to the surface for them, to try and make their dream a reality.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #No Regrets #acwnr #a choice with no regrets #Levi Ackerman #Furlan Church #Isabel Magnolia #Erwin Smith #snk analysis #meta #thoughts

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Ducktales Comics: Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime or Weblena: The Preschool Days (Lena Retrospective) (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Shadow Into Light, My Lena Retrospective, which fittingly has now come to Women’s History Month! I sadly do not have anything besides this arc prepared for the month. This month is pretty packed for me with two shows a week to cover, as while there’s only two weeks of Ducktales left final space starts up right after to take it’s spot, two arcs to cover, and two time specific movie reviews: animal crossing the movie and the 1990 TMNT film. I will try to get more than the currently planned top 12 superheroines list out there... but this month is very tight as is, so if I do not I deeply apologize.

Now that’s out of the way, it’s appropriate we start Women’s history month on some likely lesser known parts of Lena’s history, with some comics stories focusing on our faviorite emo lesbian duck and her 87 counterpart. Before I get started on that though Kev my patreon pointed out something intresting a few weeks back i’ve been forgetting to get to and since we’re looking into Minima, I felt this was the perfect time to do so: Lena’s Concept art.

There’s quite a few things to gleam from this. For starters as pointed out in the reddit thread I got the image as a whole from this was made in 2015, meaning Lena was one of the first new characters designed for the series and was part of it from the VERY early stages, as evidenced by the fact that despite clearly having their new personalities established, Beakly and Webby still had the old designs.

The other notable change is that her first design was way more like both Magica nad Minima, a bit more modern, but clearly far more obvious who she was related to. She also had all black feathers making the shadow twist a bit more obvious and was likely done away with both to avoid giving that twist away, the same reason for the fake lestrange name, and to avoid accidently black coding her, as while Lena being black would’ve been intersting, it also would’ve invited a firestorm of controversy given that their one black character in season 1.. woul’dve started off as a homeless, manipulative antagonist, and none of that would play well nor was it something the progressive crew of this show couldn’t spot from a mile away. And even this early on they have an almost final design ready, simply changing the shirt to fit her personality more, and her hair to be pink because it honestly looked better She also had green eyes throughout, but for whatever reason they phased them out. That part I don’t quite get as they look nice but probably they were hard to translate to the reboot style once they settled on their own. Her purple eyeshadow and haircut though have stuck since and were good calls.

One last VERY obvious note.. Webby was gay for Lena from minute one. While Dana helped it is now VERY obvious they gay coded this relationship from the design phase, and the crew was entirely aware the whole time and I gave them less credit than I should have. They clearly had this in mind, and it’s very likely ONLY subtext because Disney, while making more and more progress, is very reluctant to have queer characters as Owl House was a struggle and since they have a tighter leash on properites based on the sensational 6, that means Frank knew they had the same odds of making Webby or Della queer in anything but subtext that a pig has of suviving in a slaughterhouse. I bring this up because I fear the series getting accused of queerbaiting somewhere down the road instead of doing what they could with a bad hand and hoping they could make the show as gay as they could. Penny is as out as they posisbly could get her, and Violet and Lena’s dad’s got a full apperance, if no speaking role that made it obvious beyond a shadow of a doubt their gay and did it in a plot important episode. So they did their best and I want them to get credit for that.

But while this is all intresting stuff, join me under the cut for the meat of today’s review as I dig into Lena’s only apperance in the tie-in comic that was never punished here, and the only apperance of her protoype Minima.

Spies Like Us: As I mentioned this comic was never published here which is doubly weird to me because of how I knew this story existed. Since I follow comics weekly and buy trades reguarly, I read the solicits companies put out eveyr month to see what new series are coming, what the ones i’m currently reading are doing, and what trades are coming out. That sort of thing, and it’s something I love. I know their basically adds.. but their well put together adds that really pull you into the books you like. The big two and the indies are all very good at it and sometimes i’ts the only way to know a comic is coming if the company dosen’t make a press release for it ahead of time.

So naturally given there are several comics I follow at idw, paticuarlly the TMNT comics, I read those solicits and found they were going to do an issue with Webby and Lena becoming spies, and was excited about it. I ended up forgetting about it and never really followed the Ducktales comic as it came out, and upon reading an issue or two recently, one for another comission by kev as one story, happy happy valley, was particularly terrible. For those who haven’t read the story or my review, it involved the family getting stranded on an island where their forced to partake in activites and smile..that somehow turned into an aseop about Louie wanting to be rich. It ended with this

Yes.. really. That actually happened. But even with this, I fully planned to cover the issue when I covered Lena, and brought it up to Kev when he commissioned the retrospective. He gave me the discord equilvent of a blank stare and had never heard of it. I soon found out why: the story was replaced as, and fair play to disney, it spoiled Beakly’s past from the agent 23 episode which wasn’t going to air in time. What dosen’t work is they never reprinted the story in The US.. didn’t put it in a future issue and just swap it’s place didn’t put it in the nothing. And the story was fully complete as we’ll see, with a cover and everything so they had no excuse whatsoever to NEVER use it, even with what happened to Lena in the season finale, this clearly took place before that and it was weird to just shelve it because of that. But thankfully when a bunch of the stories were reprinted overseas, this and another one, also webby centric got published overseas. But not in english.

Lucky for me, I was able to find an english translation of an english story which you can read RIGHT HERE. It was translated by @neopuff and I thank them for it as without them this review would not be possible and want to give them all the credit. So was it worth all their hard work translating it? Well let’s take a look.

We begin at the Manor where Lena is skulking around suspiciously.. though it turns out she and Webby are just playing hide and seek. Though Lena accuses cheating. The dialouge here is pretty flat though that’s not Neopuff’s fault at all. As I can attest from reading other stories a lot of the early IDW comics are just this flat in dialoguge no matter the writer as they were likely given character descriptions and basic info about the show they likely had written up for merchandising and Frank and Co were given no involvement and likely weren’t made avaliable to consult on the comics to help them be a bit more fleshed out. It’s very obvious to me Disney just tried to get these pumped out so they’d have a series in stores to tie in without carring about qualities and given Scrooge debuted in comics, their lack of care toward that side of things in general, but especially in the first american published original duck comics in a while, bothers me a lot. It’s inexcusable.

That being said the story isn’t half bad nor is the setup as the two hear a beeping and find it’s Beakly’s phone going off with a mysterious message from Q, Webby thinks she’s been reactivated, and is encouraged by Lena to go look after her while she stays along. While Webby says in response

It just feels grossly out of character for both. Lena is far more subtle about manipulation as shown five minutes ago and Webby blindly trusts her. Because she has a massive crush on her and is naïve about how the world works. It just seems very odd of her to get suspicious as she never does on screen, and again it comes off as Disney having barely given the writers any materials on them when i’m sure Frank or Matt would’ve been happy to write up a thing for them to help outside of the usual press materials they were given.

Though hte last line isn’t all that out of character and has an obvious answer as within a jumpcut Launchpad’s taking them to London and is told to blend in.. which he does with an australian flag and accent.. good gag.

So our heroines do some heroic breaking and entering and look for the package, but soon find while hiding it’s already in transit.. and had obvious bows on int. Whoops. Our heroes trie the old follow tha tcar bit and refreshingly, it dosen’t pan out as the guy stops and tells them to get out. A nice twist. Unable to follow, our heroes instead find launchpad lost, as his map is upside down

So Lena dares him if he can follow that plane, a nice bit of character for both. I will give Joe credit. While the dialouge’s a bit flat and there was that out of character moment.. for the most part he does nail the actual character down and does use it decently enough. He’s just not given enough page room or actual details to work with is all.

So while our heroes follow they end up having to crash as they run out of fuel.. lucky their with the expert but end up near home where the package is delivered to. Turns out this wasn’t a spy thing, this was just a thing with her aunt. That’s fine and a nice gag.. it’s just ruined by just sorta.. ending. Lena leaves disapointed and Beakly scolds webby for “playing spy” and she’s sad. That’s it that’s how it ends. Which dosen’t fit the characters, as while Beakly would defintely scold her, it just dosen’t FIT that she’d be that tearse or not appricate the effort or give her an actual lecture and it feels like Joe had no idea how to end this after the gag and just.. ended it.

Final Thoughts for Spies Likes Us: This was okay. It is a bit of a disappointment as for the only story not available.. i’ts just okay and not really above an average Ducktales comics story, with some nice character bits but feeling a bit weak overall, as do at least the first half of the idw comics. I haven’t read the later stuff to see if it got better. It’s worth a read if you like Webby and Lena as characters and it’s not BAD, it’s just not anything impressive and is a simple hyjinks filled misunderstanding story.

Dime After Dime:

So now we go back a bit to the original. I didn’t do these in chronological order because frankly, Dime after Dime is the better story of the two and the bigger one at that, so I have more to work with here. But the original also had comics and honestly from the few i’ve read much BETTER comics. I chalk this up to two things: The Ducktales 87 comics seem to have come out AFTER the series was already a hit, and since Ducktales is pretty close to the original uncle scrooge comics minus it’s own tweaks here and there, it’s easy enough to just write the stories like you would a regular uncle scrooge story, just with Webby and Launchpad added, whereas the idw writers were staffed with writing for all new versions of the characters with noticable differences without much to go on. It’s why to me with tie in comics you have two options: Wait long enough so you can put your story inbtween the episodes like the Steven Universe and Regular Show comics did or just make your own continuity entirely like the Adventure Time Comics and the Archie TMNT Adventures series did. The ONLY time i’ve seen a comic work like this is the Bravest Warriors comic, which had a talented writer and fit well enough in the margins until it sadly ended.. and honestly is BETTER in some cases than the series. I might get to it someday. The point is this comic shows why you need to have a deft hand adapting something instead of just falling your arms about and hoping it’ll work.

So today’s comic was part of some Disney Series called cartoon tales, which clearly repackaged comic stories from wherever, and put them together. I don’t know much about it and the only other issue avaliable collects the disney adventures adaptation of “Just Us Justice Ducks”, which I might cover at some point. This book does have two other stories which i’d be happy to do on comission or on my own at some point, one involving gladstone the other gizmoduck, but for now, i’m just sticking to the title story and the reason you all came here.

So we open with Magica gazing into her crystal ball from her Mt. Vesuvies base saying that Scrooge will never know what hit him I know exactly what and who wiil hit him thank you very much.

Scrooge is seeing Webby off to her first day of day camp, getting all teary eyed which is touching. Beakly apparently goes with her as the story never SAYS Sshe does but she’s not also not around when the story moves on, as Launchpad says it looks like rain. Scrooge dismisses him, though Launchpad turns out to be right. Scrooge had good reason for once though, instead of just being a dick good on you comic for making me not want to punch him in the face, trust me that is a high bar to clear with the scrooge comics, as the weather was fine just a minute ago. Naturally it was Magica All Along! Nothing scrooge can do now that eveyrthing has gone wrong! Her entrance though is sadly not a catchy earwormy tune, but .. this confusing line

I think your thinking of Gladstone. And he’s still single so.. have at that but no Scrooge is the one who values hard work over anything else and brags about THAT or being rich. I .. I don’t get this line and frankly I don’t want to. Even in stories where the dime is supernaturally lucky and the source of his wealth he dosen’t boast about it because he’s not stupid and dosen’t want everyone knowing how to bankrupt him instantly. This line will baffle me until I die, presumably, given my life’s tragetctory, after reviewing an episode of mighty ducks and slipping on some a jerky wrapper.

Scrooge asks what she wants...

No this isn’t that kind of story sadly. Her plan is to.. zap the bin with lightning and take the dime. Really just went with your first draft didn’t you magica? But as stupid as this plan is Scrooge has prepared for it. He installed a lightning rod on the bin to save on power, and to power his new super soaker traps. So all Magica did was save him money. She flies off and nothing is acomplished.

So we get back to Webby at the Teenie Weenie Day Camp.. and just so you don’t think that was a terrible joke on my part...

My theory for how this name got approved at all is the editor KNEW how that sounded and just wanted to see if Disney would actually print a comic with the phrase Teenie Weenie without getting what it means in slang or how hilariously inapproriate it is to namme a children’s camp after it.

Your probably wondering who that grown woman calling Webby a dweeb is. Well story wise, she’s SUPPOSED to be another kid at the camp around Webby’s age. In practice, she looks like THIS in closeup

So it looks and plays like a 30 year old woman snuck into the day camp and no one’s noticed she’s not actually a children. Or their just humoring her because she had a week to live. I don’t know. I do know she doesn’t get to judge on names.

Snippy Von Glitz, proof rich people really do hate their kids and this this comic is trying personally to give me material. Snippy is your average alpha bitch, taking a chair from Minma and being obnoxious and classist and all that jazz. Minima gets hers back by making the chair bouncy then returning it to normal so Snippy gets in trouble when she makes up things about the chair, with the lady in charge getting ready to call her Dad. You cannot convince me that her “Dad” is just what she calls her husband, this is how they both get off, and that the lady at the preschool only tolerates it because they pay her a lot and so far the kids haven’t noticed Snippy is 30. Webby likes minima finding her name pretty, proving that the ho yay is alive no matter the webby and magica relative, and Minma returns the favor by saving her from a block.

Minma is reluctant to make an actual friend, finding they aren’t worth anything and given most of the kids here apparently pick on her and her aunt is well.. Magica, it’s understandable why she’d be so cold. But Webby presses on and says something from Scrooge about friends. Which given Ducktales scrooge has none goes weird but it gets Minma to find out she knows and lives with Scrooge, so she cons webby into taking the dime for show and tell, showing that she can manipulate them with her powers, and that he won’t notice it’s missing, getting her with “I thought you wanted to be friends”

So let’s pause for a second and compare and contrast the two: Both are the niece, or at least sorta in Lena’s case, of Magica, both manipulate webby, and both are her first real friend: The 87 boys are little monsters and I don’t consider them friends or even brothers, while the 2017 ones are just that: brothers. Their her siblings in all but blood, not friends and have hteir own long complicated history.

But otherwise the two are vastly different. Lena is a far more complex character as she’s been abused her whole life, is a rebel because Magica hardly gave her agency, and while she starts wooing webby out of self interest it’s clear even as far as the first episode she cares. Lena would gladly be part of the world if she could and this whole scheme is to gain that choice.

Minma is still sympathetic but very different: She walls herself off because the other kids laugh and mock her for being herself and lashes out at them.. not unreasonably mind , but still feeling she needs no one else.. but as we’ll learn later she’s only helping Magica to finally feel accepted, to get all the fancy clothes and stuff that will make her popular instead of that grown woman masquerading as a kid for disturbing reasons. Minma is at her heart just a hurt kid desperate to fit in. And while Lena shares the desire for a place to belong.. it’s at it’s core much sadder. Lena.. wants a family. Someone to love her and to care about her and actually look after her. Minma has that she just wants to be loved. it’s similar but very diffrent and I can see why Lena evolved into what she did, as Frank and Matt ended up going in a far darker but ultimately more interesting direction. Minima is not a bad character at all though and without her I don’t think we would’ve had Lena, but at the end of the day the 87verse is just not that complicated, so the reboot needed something more and that more evolved into who we have now.

Both kids excitedly talk about their new friends, with their respective guardians being distracted. Scrooge is distracted by the fact his car is a bit bumpy and Launchpad offers to fix it up for free with some parts from a buddy, which given the sentence “This won’t cost you anything” makes him erect, Scrooge agrees. Magica meanwhile, whose watching Minima while her mom is away which raises a LOT of questions we don’t have time for like who she is, is she’s poes wife or does Magica have other siblings... it’s a lot of questions we’re never going to get answers to.

The next day Webby got the dime easy as Scrooge was distracted. so Minima swaps them while she’s distracted. But while swiping it was easy, which to be fair Webby is likely approved in his security so it woudln’t match her.. or the story just needed to progress. You make the call.

Magica does the logical thing and goes and get sthe dime and the story ends there.. and i’m shitting you, she of course brags to scrooge, reveals minima as her spy, and offers to RACE him for it shortly after he realizes he has a fake.

The only major flaw in this story is Magica’s overconfdience, which isn’t BAD persay, but here has gotten to dumbass proportions. She just can’t plan for anything and a CHILD has a better plan than her that only dosen’t work for reasons we’ll get to. And that plan is almost ruined by Magica taunting scrooge!

So a race is on but Launchpad has transformed Scrooge’s old Model T into this

Damn that’s cool. Scrooge of course dosen’t like it, but honestly you get what you paid for. Oh that’s right you paid nothing for something you NEED to use every day for transportation.

At the rickity thickity bridge, Steve Buschemi’s worst roll and her minion ask Webby to roll with them and Minima mistakes this for betrayal planning to soak them all.. only for Webby to DEFEND HER, pointing out minma’s her friend, how she dresses is fine and she loves her no matter what.. the last part’s implied. The 30-year old asshole and her minon leave Webby and Minma is genuinely touched, as no one’s done that for her before. She put up so many walls... she didn’t realize someone could ACTUALLY care about her, so obessed with thinking she had to be like that soccer mom in preschoolers clothing, she just had to be herself: kinda werid but in that fun adams family way. Webby says she knows Minma would do the same.. so while she prepares to let’s get back to the race. Magica realizes Launchpad’s roadster is actually gaining and spreads some tacks, but Scrooge counters with some money.. because of course he has a lot of money in the trunk. But Magica takes out the bridge and while scrooge awesomely JUMPS IT... he’s still too late.

As you probably guess though, Minima had a change of heart, and gave Webby the real dime back, and Scrooge confirms it. Minima TRIES to tell Magica, and Magica is horrified her niece is a goody goody “I”ll never hear the end of it at my astral aerobics class”.. I.. I want to see that. Let’s raise those spirit ladies and kick kick that soul, doge that shadow king punch them in the soul. Yes! Now eat it eat it and absorb it’s power!

We end on a button joke as Webby apologizes for taking the dime., Scrooge accepts it and Webby tells them magica learned to carpet and they gulp for some reason.

Final Thoughts on Dime after Dime: This story was decent. It has problems, some jokes don’t land and Magica is made horribly incompetent, but minima’s character arc is endearing, and Webby herself is precious as always and her winning Minima over feels genuine. And Scrooge is in prime adoring uncle mode with her and i’ts just so cute. And the roadster race is pretty awesome to watch honestly. It’s an exceptional and enjoyable tie in story.. and not the last ducktales 87 story we’ll be covering here. Wink wonk.

Next Time: Things get DARK as Lena and Webby head into the depths of Scrooge’s hidden bin and Lena heads into the depths of her own soul.

Tommorow: Woo-Ooo mofos as we go back to the very beginning of the reboot! A family restored, a lost city to explore, and a glomgold rises! Be here or be square.

#ducktales #ducktales 1987 #webbigail vanderquack #lena saberwing #weblena #minima de spell #magica de spell #bentina beakly #launchpad mcquack #scrooge mcduck #dime after dime #spies like us #idw #comics #animation #shadow into light

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andotherbiases · 4 years ago

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“into the fall” deleted scene, vers. 2

writing that thread yesterday reminded me that I had so many versions of the scene where MY goes to KT’s place. They all ended up being too angsty to make it into the final version of the story, but now that I used the snuggles & storytime version in “journal of a teenage year” I feel like I can share these other deleted scenes.

In this version, MY goes to KT’s place not because she’s realized her feelings for him, but because she’s upset. I’ll lead into the scene with text from the published version in italics, so you can see where it would have been situated in the original story. This particular version has parts from the other deleted scene (let’s call that one version 1), but with a different ending dialogue. I was sad to loose the intimacy of this scene, because it shows just how much deeper their connection is, but alas, I just wanted to write a light-hearted story so...

Anyway, I’ll post another version in the coming days. I hope you enjoy!

Version 2: Angst city

Sometimes he stays the night. Sometimes not.

Sometimes they meet and don’t have sex. Sometimes an office visit really is just an office visit.

Moon-young doesn’t really know what the rules are here. She doesn’t understand what they’re doing. Kang-tae doesn’t mention it, never brings it up, and seems perfectly happy with whatever their arrangement is. But she’s confused and unsettled, unsure of what to do or say. Mostly because, surprisingly enough, a re-introduction to their physical intimacy has not produced the hell-mouth she thought it would.

There hasn’t been a single fight. She can’t remember the last time one of them snapped at the other. When it was that one of them stormed out of a room in anger.

When they’re together, in between all the hooking up, they snuggle and laugh and share thoughts and opinions and secrets. And it is nice. Nice that they could be like this again. Nice to lower walls. Nice to share in the intimacy that had always been present between them.

It feels so natural.

But it also feels so fragile, like a spring morning, and Moon-young doesn’t want to ruin it, doesn’t want to destroy this good and beautiful thing by bringing up questions and whatever harsh reality exists for them.

If it can’t be forever, she’ll take it for right now.

And she’ll worry about the fall later.

It happens unexpectedly.

Moon-young is having a terrible day. Any contact with her estranged mother sours her mood completely, ruins any plans that she might have had. A single phone call and a shadow will loom over her for the rest of the day, dark and storming and brewing. It makes her want to lash out at the world, makes her want to be reckless, makes her want to do something big and dangerous -- something that she can throw all her energy, all her feelings, all her thoughts towards. Something to distract her.

Something to ease her weary heart.

She doesn’t know how she ended up at Kang-tae’s door, but he takes one look at her face and lets her in without a word.

They’re sitting at the kitchen counter, cups of lukewarm tea before them. They’re just sitting, sometimes exchanging words but mostly just sitting in the moment, sharing the space together. Silence stretches on between them, but it isn’t empty nor is it burdensome. It occurs to Moon-young that he is the only person that she feels comfortable enough with to not have to say anything at all.

Kang-tae is sitting by her side, nursing his mug and waiting to listen to anything that she might say. His usual suits and coiffed hair are replaced with casual t-shirts and a pair of thick glasses. On the table next to them are notes from some manuscript, the red scrawls from his pen bleed across the page.

“I’m sorry for interrupting. You were working,” she says, only just piecing together that he might have been busy when she arrived at his door.

He waves her off. “It’s not important.”

They lapse into silence once more.

“Is this about your mom?” he asks, breaking into her thoughts. If the question had come from anyone but Kang-tae, she would have denied it. Would have stormed out of the room, having no desire to air out her family’s dirty laundry. But he wasn’t just anyone. He knew her whole history. This wasn’t the first time he’s seen her angry and upset and despondent. Moon-young meets his eyes and finds only sympathy, not pity.

She nods.

Kang-tae purses his lips, clearly displeased. “What did she say this time?”

“The usual,” she shrugs. “How I’m an ungrateful daughter. How I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for her. It’s always the same. Nothing I haven’t heard before.”

“I wish she would just leave you alone.”

“She had no problem doing it before,” Moon-young says bitterly. “Funny how becoming a best-selling author changes things.”

Her mother had abandoned her just after her tenth birthday, leaving her under the care of her mostly absent father. Moon-young was raised by a series of live-in babysitters and tutors. She hadn’t heard a single word from her mother in over fifteen years. It wasn’t until her first book was published and her name was in the news that Moon-young first got a phone call from an unknown number.

Moon-young’s long lost mother was suddenly interested in reconciling. Had seen the error of her ways. Had seen a photo of Moon-young in the local paper and wanted to get to know the woman she had become.

But Moon-young wasn’t interested. Her success was hers alone. And if her mother didn’t care enough to go through the tough times with her, all the times when Moon-young had struggled to live as a writer and received rejection letter after rejection letter, then her mother certainly didn’t have a right to enjoy Moon-young’s success.

Her mother, naturally, did not appreciate being so cut out, and ever so often Moon-young received a letter or call that full of vitriol from her own mother.

In a way, she felt haunted.

Suddenly, Moon-young pushes away her tea. “I need something stronger,” she declares, already moving to stand and make good use of Kang-tae’s well-stocked dry bar.

Instead, he reaches over and takes her hand in his. His hold is so stable, so steadfast and sure. His thumbs rub circles on the back of her hand, and Moon-young finds herself sitting back down.

“Let’s leave the alcohol for another time,” he suggests, his words calm and gentle. “How about we get you into bed, and I’ll read you a story.”

Somewhere in the middle of his tale, Moon-young starts to cry.

Tears leak from her eyes, pouring out her sadness, and she can’t help it. Can’t stop the shaking of her chin or the sobs that crawl out of her mouth.

And she hates it all, because her mother doesn’t deserve her sadness, her tears.

But Kang-tae is right there.

He pulls her in tighter, brushes away her tears before they have a chance to fall. He whispers comforting words in her ear, reminds her of how brilliant she is, and how strong, and that she didn’t owe her mother anything, that Moon-young belonged to herself.

And he kisses her.

Soft, lingering kisses on her cheeks, her eyelids. When Kang-tae kisses her lips, she can taste the saltiness of her tears.

But also, a sweetness. A kindness.

She wants, so desperately, to capture that. To taste it on her tongue and devour it so that it becomes a part of her. To be so full of sweetness and kindness that there is no room for sadness. So that nothing bad can ever get in.

Moon-young wraps her arms around Kang-tae’s neck, bringing him in closer until the weight of his body presses down on her, and she slides her tongue past his lips.

“Hey, hey,” he says, breaking off the kiss. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

He didn’t understand. She needed this. She shakes her head. “No, please,” Moon-young insists, arching up into him.

Kang-tae hisses at the contact. “I think,” he starts, his voice now shaky, “that we should just try and sleep. You’re upset and I--”

“Please, Kang-tae,” she reaches up to try and kiss him again. She needs this. Needs this oblivion. “Please, I--”

He tries to avoid her lips. “Moon-young…”

“Please just make love to me,” she blurts in desperation.

He freezes. Seconds roll by before he pulls back, hovering over her. “What?”

And for some reason she’s crying again. “Please, please. Kang-tae. Please can you just--” and she doesn’t care that she’s begging.

Kang-tae’s gaze is probing as he locks eyes with her. He’s hesitating, warring with himself, but slowly his eyes drop from hers to settle on her lips. He gives a small nod before he kisses her.

Afterwards she’s almost asleep when the fall happens. It is so quiet she nearly misses it.

“I love you.”

Her eyes open, she’s fully awake now, but forces her body to remain still. She stays that way, until she recognizes Kang-tae’s deep breath of sleep.

Moon-young is fumbling around in the dark trying to gather her things. It is early still, dawn is just on the horizon, giving just enough light for her to slide out of Kang-tae’s bed and make a hasty exit.

“Don’t forget your purse is in the kitchen,” comes a voice.

Surprised at being caught, Moon-young spins on her heel, and even in the darkness she can see Kang-tae’s eyes staring at her. He sits up and reaches for his pants, but seeing his bare chest for some reason seems too intimate and she avoids her gaze.

He turns on a lamp, and the sudden brightness burns.

“Leaving already?” he asks as he approaches her. There is almost something predatory in his gait, the firm set of his mouth.

Moon-young only just resists the impulse to take a step back. “I didn’t want to wake you,” she tries to explain.

“Hm,” he considers her answer. “And this doesn’t have anything to do with last night?”

Her heart is slamming against her ribcage. Did he know? Something like panic races through her veins.

Kang-tae continues. “The part where you heard me say that I love you.” He takes a breath. “I love you, Moon-young.”

Moon-young has to step away then. It is too much. She feels like she can’t take in enough air, not enough to breath, not enough to process what is happening. Tears begin to prickat her eyes, and she doesn’t understand why.

She pushes him away. “I have to go.”

He grabs her hand.

“Don’t go. Don’t run away. We’re good together, Moon-young. These last few weeks, we’ve been so good together.”

She snatches her hand back.

“Don’t do this,” he tells her, trying to hold onto her. “Moon-young!”

“This was just supposed to be sex,” she cries. “You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me!”

“I’ve always been in love with you!” he responds.

“What?”

“I can’t help it,” he holds her by the shoulders, hoping against hope that she’ll stay. “I’ve always loved you.”

She feels the world tilt on its axis and it steals her breath. “I have to go.”

And she runs, right out of his room, right out of his apartment, and down the block until he’s no longer calling her name, no longer trying to follow her.

#itf #im worried ppl will like this more than the final version lol

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mrcoltkaneko · 4 years ago

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daybreak (rod)

a/n: i am very... meh about this one, but when i heard that RODAW was happening, i had to throw something up for my favorite boy. it’s written in the second person because... i just vibed with it???? LMAO idk. as always, your comments / likes / reblogs are very much appreciated. i apologize for any typos in advance, i think i wrote this in like 4-5 hours so it is a very raw draft. i might go back and edit it at some point, but for now, please enjoy!

pairings: Colt x MC angst

summary: So much for wanting to die, for choking yourself with smoke and willpower and here he is, doing it all by himself, five-and-a-half feet away.

rating: PG-13

content warning: cancer, infidelity.

length: 2172 words

tags: i am constantly amazed at the amount of quality content that comes out related to ROD. i’ve fallen out of the choices fandom but ROD still holds a special place in my heart and i’m so excited that it’s the same for a lot of other people as well! @rodappreciationweek !

All great love stories begin with a once upon a time, but you think that yours must have begun with an and they lived happily ever after, because with him, you are always drowning in a sea of now, now, now that exists only in a dream.

You smoke cigarettes now. It’s something of a habit, picked up in college after drunken nights out in the dead of a winter, desperate for the quick pinch of sobriety and a flicker of warmth — even now, you remember how much the smoke and tar had made you cough. Now, the nicotine, it tastes sweet on your lips.

You wonder when you’d become so jaded.

Even jarring images of blackened lungs can’t scare you now, not when you'd seen with your soul the images of your own heart, bloodied and bruised to shit. Not when you've seen her father waste away in that bed, antiseptic stinging your nose, your eyes. A year after he’d retired. There’d been plans, big ones for him to buy a home up near Olympia, fix it up himself. He’d bought tickets to Italy. You’d always thought he’d go out in a bang, a furious firework in the sky commemorating his heroism. None of seeing him die in that damned hospital was heroic.

You bring the cigarette up to your lips and inhale, holding your breath. Her gaze focuses on the skyline ahead, gripping the rust-streaked railing in front, the Hudson reflecting ink black, save for the moon’s milky touch rippling ribbons of white on the water. Only when you feel your chest constrict and vision blur that you open your mouth and let the cancer flow out. Hunched over the barrier, you begins coughing and fuck, does it feel good. It’s like being eighteen again, taking that first puff of that cigarette, feeling the smoke’s heat sear your throat in a line of fire.

“You all right?”

You glance up. You already has a bitter retort locked and loaded, about how you’s fucking goddamn fine, that you doesn’t need his help, that there’s pepper spray in your purse that you wouldn’t hesitate using and —

( “Ellie?” )

And your breath stops.

So much for wanting to die, for choking yourself with smoke and willpower and here he is, doing it all by himself, five-and-a-half feet away. You drop the cigarette, three-quarters done, and it’s no wonder that you are breathless because you drowns in him once again, like something familiar creeping up your airways, a release .

“Colt.” You take a step forward, hesitant. You watch his face, in as much disbelief as yours. He’s wearing the same jacket from all those years ago, and you want to laugh, to straighten the lapels and plant a kiss on his cheek and then cry from the youer impossibility of seeing him again, but seven years is too much time. You scrape the toe of your boot against the cobblestone, never daring to look at his face. “How - how are you?”

“I’m good. Didn’t know you were in New York.”

“I am.” You pause, wondering if you should say any more. “I work - I work at a publishing company. I edit books.”

“That’s cool. Good for you, El.”

A pause enters the conversation. For a moment, all you can hear are the distant hum of cars, the white noise of city life. And all you want to do is cry, but not for the same reasons as before, but how stilted their conversations are, how much you do not say that you wanted to for the longest time. Like, I’m sorry, I wish I’d stayed, I wish I hadn’t thrown you out. Like, I’ve missed you, you complete me, I love you.

“Are you in New York too?”

“Nah. Just here to visit my girlfriend’s parents. They live up in Queens.”

Oh.

You want to ask. You want to know her name, her job, what she’s like. You want to know whether the girlfriend has met his mother, whether she knows about his father and Ximena and Toby and Logan, whether she knows about you. In bitterness, you’re reminded of your own boyfriend, the one you’d fought with earlier over a carton of milk — and then it dawns on you that there is a space of seven years that you have been gone, torn from Colt’s life that you don’t know about, and you swallow. The pause is no longer a pause, but a thick hesitation sitting in between you and him, and you struggle to breathe against his presence.

“Listen, Ellie —”

“No. It’s fine — it’s fine, I mean, it’s been seven years, right? You’re allowed to have a girlfriend and a life, and I have a life now, and we’re all fine, really —”

“Hey! Christ, slow down; I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go for a walk. My girlfriend, she’s out with some friends and I was just killing some time anyways.”

You know you shouldn’t. That the time away had been her time to heal, to process their goodbye from all those years ago, and yet — you’ve never been good at holding him at an arm’s distance, even when he’d been three thousand miles away.

So you say yes.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

You’re positive that this is all a fever dream, that there’s no way that Colt is beside you, that you’re laughing with him again, that it’s always when you least expect it that you’re thrown back into the waters again, unsure of where it’d started, and yet, not caring in the slightest.

The stars, you’ve never noticed them in the city. Not with all the light pollution circling high above the clouds, but with him, you’re positive that the stars shine for him, bouncing off the tips of his cheekbones, the tip of his nose. Two in the morning and you’ve never felt held more than this exact moment, not in so long. You don’t know if it’s the warmth of the alcohol or the orbit of his presence, but you're rosy-cheeked, desperate to find his physical touch next.

Leave it to him to jolt you out of your fantasy.

“How’s that boyfriend of yours, huh?”

You swallow. The 40s you’ve both bought in a dingy corner store like nineteen-year olds with fake IDs lie in the paper bags at their feet and the magnified haze of reality swings at your head. Drunk, and yet, too aware of your drunkenness, you squint at him, challenging him with a brashness only marked by the alcohol.

“What’s it to you, anyways?” Cross, you pick up the bottle, taking a swig of the drink.

Colt shrugs. “Curious. I’ve seen your pics with him.”

“You’ve been stalking me,” you reply, smirking.

Shaking his head, he chuckles. “And you can never answer the questions without being a smart-ass, can you?”

“It’s none of your business.” You pull your knees closer, hugging your legs to your chest. “Anyways, you haven’t said a word about your mystery girlfriend,” you challenge. It’s not like you want to hear about her, but the prospect of telling Colt all about your significant other brings a rock to your stomach.

You meet his eyes. Dark, stormy, you think you see a phantom of a frown, emotion betraying his usual aloof demeanor. But as soon as it crosses his face, it flies off into the distance, and he shrugs. “You always do this, Ellie — act like that I’m out to get you, comment on your life choices —”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I the one that couldn’t handle my fucking anger whenever things didn’t go right, because if I remember correctly, that was you.” You bolt up, an accusatory finger thrown his way, and he matches your movement, drenched in passion.

“You’re going to bring that up? Because if we’re going to rehash our goddamn relationship right here, I’d be happy to list all of the things you did that were fucking frustrating to deal with.”

“Oh my gosh, yes. Please do that, I’m begging you,” she snaps back, sarcastic. Hesitating, you turn back to him, fire burning in your eyes. “Actually. Let’s do it. Say it. I dare you. Because if I remember correctly, it was me that left. Not you.”

Silence blankets the two of you, and his face hardens back up, body returning to the slack swagger he’d always carried so easily in his chest. Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he crouches back down, eyes aimed towards the water. “Whatever,” he snorts, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

He’d always been so nonchalant. Still is, and it’s what you’ve loved about him, the way he could tell you so much more with his eyes than his words. You’d loved Logan too, but he’d always been brash, the brushstrokes of his love painted in broad, simple marks. And yet Colt — the intricacies of his emotions have always been a puzzle that you’d been adamant to unscramble. How the flicker in the corners of his eyelids could mean that he’s upset, or the twitch in the corner of his mouth, deepening a shred of a dimple gave away his happiness. Even now, the ghosts of those imprints remain etched onto his face, and you can tell he longs for something more, a what if still lingering on their tongues.

And like always, you fall into his lips.

It’s a mistake.

And yet — a glorious, beautiful, irrevocable mistake, even more when you feel his lips press against yours. He’s missed me too, you think, and you wonder why he is the only person that has only made you feel like the world is yours. You are drunk, sitting on concrete by the muddy river and yet you want to savor the moment forever, inscribe it into your skin as a tattoo.

When you part, your teeth taste like sin and your hands are drenched in the blood of your guilt, but you’d risk it all to do it again.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

One more joy ride on his Cavalieri Novanta, you understand why you loved ( love ) him. Freedom has always come at a price for you, perpetually out of your reach but with him? He makes it easy to be in freefall, and as your hands wrap around his waist, you’re not afraid to hit the ground.

Coney Island is a hellmouth, but at 4AM, the silence is cathartic. You’ve never been to the beach without the buzz of crowds closing in on you, and yet, there is something distinctly wistful about the abandoned park. Still, quiet, with only the creak of the boards underneath your feet, the ocean is there, and yet — you only see Colt. If the Pacific had been an expanse of hope and new horizons, you think that the Atlantic is a deluge of melancholy. There is no room for your sorrows when you’ve finally been let out of your self-inflicted cage. He finds a place in the sand, and you follow along, head on his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me.” And yet, his lips are in your hair, whispering. You think you feel him trace an I still love you with his lips, but you can’t be sure.

“I was drunk.” You still are. You can’t think straight. When you’re with him, all you see is him.

“Doesn’t make it right.”

“Since when have you cared about whether something’s right or not?” It shocks you to the core, more than you expect. It’s not him. This is not the Colt you know.

“You don’t want this. You don’t want me.”

“What - no. Of course I want you. I want you, Colt Kaneko.” You know you do. You’d leave everything behind, run far away with him until your feet bled. Frantic, you find his face, search for that shred of longing you’d become so familiarized with. You don’t find it. “Run away with me. You don’t - we can go back. We can go back.” Desperately, you think that if you say it enough, you could make it a truth.

“You know, Ellie.” Colt swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing in his neck. For once, you cannot read the emotion in his face, and it terrifies you. Seven years is too much time lost, and you think about all of the things you’ve missed.

You do know. Leaving him once, you know. That your longing and love for him has always relied on being apart, that two burning hot fires only created a larger fire that threatened to ruin everything else in its path.

“We would’ve burned each other up, El.” He’s closer now, only a breath away. A finger on your cheek, your hand snakes up and holds his hand, memorizing his touch. His thumb swipes away a tear that you didn’t even know had fallen.

He leans in this time.

A first kiss against the Californian sunset, the last rolled into a New York sunrise, you wonder if you’ll ever look at daybreak the same way again.

#playchoices #rodaw #playchoices fanfic #ride or die

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pokkop15 · 4 years ago

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(Ok so I was a fool and had had a lot of this meta written up yesterday and instead of saving it as a draft while I watched critical role, I, like a fool, just left all the tabs open and then went to bed after the episode. Then firefox crashed in the night and everything was lost. Press F to pay respects I guess cause here I go again.)

First off, Aradia is best girl and I am so happy she's RELEVANT again. I had a whole preamble the last time I wrote this post, but I can't remember what it said other than mentioning that this is gonna be a long post beneath the cut and that I have other metas that will kind of overlap with what I'm saying in this one so I will try to keep my discussion of the narrative styles of the The Prince and The Muse to only what is relevant to this post and to what is RELEVANT. Also previous metas should be reblogged directly before I post this to make it easier to check them out before hand or to reference them more easily.

The main points of focus will be: The differences between how the two Time gods interact with The Muse and her narrative, as well as the general level of metatextual awareness of characters within Candy. | The juxtaposition of the Knight and the Maid. | The possible suppression of the Ultimate nature of The Knight, and by extension The Seer. | The Muse's unique state of power and presumed Awakening | I swear there was more but I flat out don't remember what they were.

One last thing. I am a rambly motherfucker so if you haven't read my previous metas, here's your warning to expect a very long and very chaotic mess of a post beneath the cut. Also for anyone confused anytime I emphasize someone as 'The Class' it's referring to their actions as a potential narrator and as an Ultimate Self. For example, the difference between The Muse and the Muse is that 'the Muse' would be for character moments like when the dead cherub possessing Jade's corpse in Candy is just talking with Davebot and Aradia, while 'The Muse' is for when talking about her influence over the narrative. (There's a lot of different ways I put emphasis on words or phrases, but “The Class” was the one I felt really might need clarification)

I find it interesting how Davebot acknowledges and shows distaste for The Muse interjecting her narration and thus inhibiting his ability to live in the moment. I find this interesting because as an Awakened god of Time, he is simultaneously living in every moment but as a Knight, and as The Knight, he is also intrinsically separate from those moments as he is the Ultimate One who Wields Time. Aradia on the other hand is the Maid of Time, who while almost assuredly having reached the pinnacle of her god tier after the hundreds of years we now know her to have lived, is not ascended to her Ultimate Self. As a Maid, Aradia literally embodies her aspect. As such she doesn't worry about living in the moment because she is the moment. Because of this Aradia is more prone to just accept, agree, and repeat the sentiments The Muse dictates in her constant exposition. However, despite acknowledging the narration, Davebot still ends up being incredibly passive in the face of it. Even though he has an Active class and is a dreamer of the Active moon, Dave himself has always come off as an incredibly passive character to me in a lot of ways. (Even the aspect of Time itself and its heroes are specifically denoted as incredibly Active in the {official and Canon} extended zodiac test [which means its contents are NECESSARY, RELEVANT, and TRUE]). Always acting under the direction of other characters, subject to The Lord's rule over Time, and constantly struggling with his seeming lack of control. Here, even after reaching his Ultimate Self, he still only makes passive-aggressive remarks instead leaving the flow of the story and the big decisions to others. (In my last post I went into deeper detail about the nature of, and relationship between Aradia and Dave's classes and how that affected their sessions, but I can't remember what the tie in was unfortunately so for now I'll leave it at this and move on)

Among the human players of sburb, the Strilondes have always been the most genre savvy and possessed the most awareness of the narrative and its' influence, (although Dave was never near the levels of Dirk and Rose). But up until this upd8, direct interactions with the narrative have been few and far between in Candy (at least as far as I can recall). I mentioned this in my previous meta as being a result of The Muse being the type to inspire characters to action whereas The Prince is far more heavy handed in is dictation and rarely attempts to hide his presence in the narration these days. But we see here once again, that not only is The Muse bad for the people under her influence, she's also just really not good at constructing a story. She relies too heavily on tropes and cliches, on plot contrivances; she tells too much and doesn't show enough, (something that should literally be her greatest strength as a Muse). Yet despite this, Davebot and Aradia are seen multiple times to interact with her dictations directly and Aradia even points out on page 284 that she is aware of The Muse “observing (their) every action and noting its relevance : )” (the emphasis on 'relevance' being mine). As such we can infer that it doesn't take an Ultimate Self to recognize The Muse's narration. But if not that, then what? If it was just pre-disposition of character that let them notice, then between her own abilities and self awareness, surely Candy!Rose would have by now, but she hasn't. Then is it proximity? Maybe The Muse is getting complacent and starting to unknowingly imitate The Prince and his methods? Or is it because both Davebot and Aradia are Heroes of Time? The aspect opposite The Muse's. After all, The Muse did express that the way (either Aradia specifically or that the both of them) experience time is “woefully unfamiliar” to her. Perhaps that makes it difficult for her to write a story that resonates with them fully. Whatever it may be, all the information up until this point doesn't come to a head so much as it is something that I believe to be RELEVANT.

With that, let us switch gears while keeping the previous information in mind. As I said before, in spite of all the active components of Davebot's Mythological Role, his character has often been passive. And the precise story beat I want to focus on right now is his Awakening to his Ultimate Self. Candy!Dave was out on patrol with a wife who he loved, but who also had very much always been the driving force of their dynamic. He was pulled to the ancient bunker by the narrative where a hologram of Obama expertly guided him through a conversation like a true politician, somehow knowing a lot about Dave while at the same time withholding “classified” information as if that word had any meaning without a country or government holding Obama accountable. (Unless of course Obama was still answering to someone... *Cough cough*the authors*cough cough*). Look, all of this is me saying that Obama was a leftover contrivance of The Prince that The Muse utilized for her own means. Dirk was a skilled programmer and engineer. He had a deep understanding of how to build AIs that could easily impersonate someone. He had an even deeper grasp of how to manipulate Dave. Dirk built the bots. The Bots. The bots that are supposedly NECESSARY for one to Awaken to their Ultimate Self and survive. And yet even if that is TRUE, it isn't true. The Prince claims he was a special case but his powers are of the soul, not the body. And it is the body that breaks down. And we know that Rose really was suffering in her path to Awakening, but I will remind you that her poor condition was first established through narration that we know was under the control of The Prince. Further more it happened prior to the Meat/Candy split, in which the Canon still possessed TRUTH, which is why it still remained RELEVANT in Candy (and it was obviously NECESSARY in Meat for reasons about to be discussed). Both Rose and Dave ultimately played a passive role in their Awakenings, guided to their Ultimate Self by another even though they are both Active players. I believe that The Prince established these rules about Ultimate Selves and built the robot bodies as a way to give him an upper hand against the two characters most likely to overtake him. Because to reinforce a point from a previous post, Rose is the only full on published author among the players and Dave himself has written comics and presumably screenplays for his films, making them the two people who might not only do a better job than The Prince or The Muse, but just do a flat out GOOD job. The Seer especially, which is why The Prince went through the extra effort to disrupt her sense of self as she was coming into her Ultimate Self. If these two had played an Active part in their own Awakening and without The Prince’s influence I think they both would’ve been quite capable of giving The Prince a run for his money. But the humans are not the only players in this game...

As I've already alluded to, Lord English (The Lord), was almost certainly his Ultimate Self. Awakened and Empowered by the treasure (a juju so powerful that it enabled John to retcon things in a way that overrides the timeline instead of splitting it, and it did so without even granting him its actual power). When The Knight awakened, The Muse described it has having all of Time flow through his consciousness, allowing him to experience every instance of his own self. Conversely Jade described that her Ultimate Self would be “like... one ultimate self distributed across multiple bodies. so in multiple places and states at once. every jade that exists is like a light being shined through a thousand cracks in the timeline.” (Hey remember those cracks in the universe that had light peaking through them? Idk, seems RELEVANT if you ask me.) So if we reasonably assume that ones aspect heavily affects how one's Ultimate Self first Awakens and how it operates than that means there will be similarities between those who share aspects. If Awakening for a Hero of Time is an experience of everything that ever has, is, or will happen to a version of themselves, and Lord English possessed a juju that allows one to retcon and not split, than the combination of those powers would make it so he could be the singular instance of himself while at the same time always be “Already Here” than there is truly no difference between Lord English and the theoretical Ultimate version of himself. And since the Muse consumed Lord English at the end of Candy, granting her the power to punch a wormhole in the black hole. This is also presumably where she gained the power to “...exist in several narrative structures at once” (pg 286) (also see the above explanation of Jade's Ultimate Self for why that is RELEVANT). Because of this, we can assume that The Muse is just as indistinguishable from her theoretical Ultimate Self as The Lord was. But these powers and this simultaneous existence is not without consequences because the Muse's collapse at the end of this chapter is almost assuredly a result of Meat!Jade's rebelling against The Muse in chapter 6 (specifically the action on page 167/168). And finally, to tie this back to the imposition of bodily destruction to those who Awaken their Ultimate Self, it is worth noting that The Muse does not possess a body of her own to be destroyed. Instead inhabiting the body of various Jades.

Alright, so once again sorry if you thought there would be some big culmination to this post, and hey, what pumpkin?

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nihilnovisubsole · 5 years ago

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i feel like we say this every year now, but wow, 2019 sure was a ride, wasn’t it?

sometimes i worry so much about coming off as negative that i’m not emotionally honest about my personal life. so, as much as i wish i could tell you otherwise, i’m not really ending 2019 on a high note. for several months, i’ve been working on something that’s been a shambling slog of rejection, false hope, and a lot of wasted energy. i’ll survive - i always do - but it’s still been frustrating, and it’s definitely affected my ability to work on my other projects. in fact, i’m not even going to tally up a word count for 2019. i know it’s less than 2018. nothing i can do but do better next time. many of my friends have hit huge, happy personal milestones this year - engagements, big moves, dream jobs, graduate degrees. i’m proud of every one of them, and because i’m so proud of them, i wish i had something of that magnitude to share with them, too.

[again, i say this as a joke, not to be depressing, but you know i’m in a rut because i’ve been drawing more again. when i’m happy, i write. when i write, i’m happy. when i push through my forearm injury to draw, you know there’s something i’m trying to escape from. probably the writing.]

on the other hand, i don’t want to let the gloomy second half of the year cloud the fact that i really, actually, finally, for real put a novel out. i’d built it up in my head for so long, it feels strangely ordinary to have done the one thing i’ve wanted to do since i was eight years old. because i’m... well, me, i have to remind myself that it’s a real achievement, not just the bare minimum to be an accomplished human being. i did it. i wrote it, i designed the cover, i formatted the ebook, i tweeted about it, i saw it through from start to finish and made it real. even if it hasn’t made me an overnight millionaire. even if i didn’t publish it in the way i dreamed of being published in elementary school.

it’s also a sign of how far i’ve come that i see me taking a summer break to dash off a 38,000-word fanfic as a trivial footnote. [and a very well-received one, thank you!] i remember all the afternoons i hunched over my college desk and grit my teeth about only being able to write 200 words a day. i remember how hard i worked to drag myself over the 13,000-word finish line of the fallout big bang. lord knows i remember playing repetitive video games until 4 AM, stewing in the fear that i’d never make it in the only field i want to pursue. nowadays i don’t think, apart from a chosen few, any writer “makes it” the way we think of “making it.” you never get to rest on your laurels. you always have to keep working. it’s why you have to enjoy it. even if i’m not a bestseller, i’m lucky i do.

because it’s 2019, everyone is doing retrospectives on 2009, and it’s weird for me to contemplate even existing in 2009 and 2010. for years, i’ve thought about writing a nonfiction piece about what happened back then, and something always stops me before i get it off the ground. either i cringe at my memories, or i cringe at my nonfiction writing style, or i want to wait until i’ve become some kind of outrageous success so i have something more narratively satisfying to end it with. mostly, i recoil in horror at the idea that, to really write it, i’d have to be completely open about a wretched time in my life. after a decade of facing outward on social media, i’ve become one of those stiff-upper-lip people who is intensely private about the things that actually bother me. you kill a bad thing by acting in public like it never existed. if you write a navel-gazing essay about it, you’ve made it immortal. so maybe i will. maybe i won’t.

in the meantime, i wonder if i can meet myself halfway and learn to talk about my younger self with more neutrality. i’ve spent the decade brutalizing past-me with a spiked baseball bat over my questionable grooming, or my edgy, cynical attitudes, or things i said out of jealousy or ignorant, arrogant meanness that irreversibly damaged friendships with people who didn’t deserve it. bashing your old self’s brain in doesn’t change the choices you made. it just leaves you exhausted and covered in gore and feeling gross. i always said that if i let myself forget how much it hurt, i’d slip up and make the same mistake again. but that’s not true, is it? i think now the real victory would be to let it stay in the past and not feel the obsessive urge to keep scourging myself. to paraphrase a dear friend who i don’t get to talk to enough, “everyone is already cruel to teenage girls. you don’t have to be, too.”

around the time i graduated from college, i had a premonition that it would take about a decade after 2010 to get back on my feet. i couldn’t explain why then, and i can’t now either. it’s just a feeling. by some people’s standards, i may have already done it. by other people’s - like my own - i still have a long, long way to go. which is silly, because i couldn’t even tell you what “getting back on my feet” looks like. i just know that it has been almost ten years, and i have a sense that i’m standing on one of those precipices of change where you've become sick of yourself. i’ve started feeling homesick for places i’ve never been. i’m fidgety about my writing projects. i’m not sure what i want to throw myself into next. i’d love to move to another country, which is surreal and bewildering, since i’ve spent the whole last decade wanting to move back to the home i lost. what can i do with that? i don’t know. i want things so badly, i wear myself out. i’ve always struggled to accept that sometimes you just have to wait and see.

i thought about setting new year’s goals, like “talk more about dangerous crowns,” or “publish a twine game,” or “finish another novel,” or something like that. but to be honest, i already hold myself to such ridiculous standards that pressing the boot on my back even harder feels like a bad idea. maybe 2020 is the year to work harder without trying to prescribe what should come of it. i may not know where i’m going or whether i’m on my way, but at least i know next year, i’ll have something new to report.

#long post

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writingdotcoffee · 6 years ago

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#83: The Bookshop Anxiety

I was wandering around a bookshop—one of the big ones here in London—when this overwhelming bout of anxiety struck me. I came there for a specific title which I needed the same day. I wasn’t in a rush, so after I found the book, I decided to browse for a bit. My eyes were drawn to familiar names on the shelves—Joyce, Kafka, Kerouac—some of which I’ve read, others that I always wanted to read. The front-facing covers of new releases caught my attention too. For each unknown author and book, I was trying to figure out whether I’d like it or not. I picked up a few to read the back-cover copy and weigh them in my hand before moving on.

From general fiction, I made my way to the sci-fi and fantasy area, stopping at the table with highlights. I recognised several of these hefty tomes. In fact, I recognised most of them. I’ve been coming to bookshops to look at books like these for years, decades, and yet I haven’t read most of them.

Surrounded by thousands of books and billions of words, it weighed on me that I never will. Not because I don’t want to, but because it’s impossible. There are way too many books.

In 2016, Mental Floss estimated that 134,021,533 books have been published since the invention of the printing press. A casual 134 million.

According to various polls, the average adult reads 12 books a year. As a writer, you might read a lot more—maybe 50 or even 100 (respect if you do). Let’s say you’re 20 and live in the UK where the life expectancy is about 80 years. With 60 reading years to go, you will read a pitiful 3,000 / 6,000 books or 0.0002238% / 0.0004476% of the total respectively. And that’s not counting the millions published every year over the course of your life.

You may be reading your ass off your entire life and still barely even scratch the surface. Worse yet, if you’re an average adult, you only have 720 books to go. That’s terrifying. You should read more!

Not sure why, but after a while, I stopped looking at individual books and started focusing on authors. How many titles an average author had? And how much shelf space did the shop grant them? More often than not, entire rows were taken up by a single person. Book after book after book — a lifetime of gruelling work that these literary behemoths must have spent perfecting their craft.

At first, this made me even more depressed. How can I stand up to that? How can anyone write dozens of books and hundreds of short stories? Where does it all come from?

The bookshop was closing in five minutes. I paid for the book downstairs and headed into the night. The streets were wet, strewn with reflections, but it wasn’t raining anymore. I walked east through Bloomsbury, thinking about it all.

Now, it would’ve been quite fitting if along the way I saw a cat narrowly escape certain death under the wheels of a hurtling black cab and had a sudden revelation. Or if I ran into the apparition of Charles Dickens hanging out behind the bins at Tavistock Square and asked him for the secrets. Alas, nothing like that happened. I walked to St Paul's and caught a train home.

The secret is that there’s no secret. One day not too long ago, these authors were just like you and me, working nine to five, struggling to finish things, getting rejected, doubting their ability. The only way to fill a shelf with books is to get up every morning and work hard at it.

What I Am Reading

I finished three books this week. A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles was a fantastic read—eloquently written and with a rather unconventional premise. In the beginning, a Russian aristocrat is sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest in a luxury hotel in the centre of Moscow. The rest of the book chronicles his life in that hotel.

Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey is about managing your attention and how to be more intentional with it. The author put together a lot of the current research in the area. It was an informative read.

Lastly, I finished the 900-page tome that is Rogues by George R. R. Martin. It’s a collection of novellas from various authors across different genres, the common theme being that at least one character in each story has a cunning plan. You will enjoy the stories more if you’re already a fan of the featured writers as many stories include characters from existing books/series. I only recognised a few, but it was still an enjoyable read.

This week, I’ll be reading Normal People by Sally Rooney.

Short Stories

I also read these short stories:

Children on the Road and Unmasking the Confidence Trickster by Franz Kafka

The Sudden Walk, Resolutions, Excursion to the Mountains, The Plight of the Bachelor, The Businessman and Looking out Distractedly by Franz Kafka

The Way Home, The Men Running Past, The Passenger, Dresses, The Rejection, For the Consideration of Amateur Jockeys, The Window on to the Street, Desire to be a Red Indian, The Trees, Being Unhappy by Franz Kafka

Now Showing by Connie Willis

The Judgement by Franz Kafka

The Lighting Tree by Patrick Rothfuss

The Rogue Prince, or, A King’s Brother by George R. R. Martin

Want More?

My email subscribers (also known as persons of the most distinguished taste :D) receive a digest of what I published or found helpful in their inboxes every week. Hit subscribe to join the club.

(I won’t spam you or pass your email to a third party. You can unsubscribe at any time.)

Past Editions

#82: On Regularity, March 2019

#81: What Inspires Me, March 2019

#80: A Day In the Life of a Writer, March 2019

#79: Not Feeling Like It, February 2019

#78: Becoming Polynovelous, February 2019

#writing #writers #write #writing tips #writing life #writeblr #writing update #me #personal #update #writingcoffee #writingdotcoffee

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ciathyzareposts · 5 years ago

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Betrayal at Krondor

During the 1960s and 1970s, a new type of game began to appear in increasing numbers on American tabletops: the experiential game. These differed from the purely abstract board and card games of yore in that they purported to simulate a virtual world of sorts which lived behind their surface systems. The paradigm shift this entailed was such that for many players these games ceased to be games at all in the zero-sum sense. When a group came together to play Squad Leader or Dungeons & Dragons, there hung over the plebeian kitchen or basement in which they played a shared vision of the beaches of Normandy or the dungeons of Greyhawk. The games became vehicles for exploring the vagaries of history or the limits of the imagination — vehicles, in other words, for living out shared stories.

In retrospect, it was perhaps inevitable that some of the stories generated in this way would make their way out of the gaming sessions which had spawned them and find a home in more traditional, linear forms of media. And, indeed, just such things were happening by the 1980s, as the first novels born from games arrived.

Needless to say, basing your book on a game you’ve played isn’t much of a path to literary respectability. But for a certain kind of plot-focused genre novel — the kind focusing strictly on what people do rather than why they do it — prototyping the whole thing as a game makes a degree of sense. It can keep you honest by forcing your story to conform to a simulated reality that transcends the mere expediency of what might be cool and exciting to write into the next scene. By pushing against authorial fiat and the deus ex machina, it can give the whole work an internal coherency — an honesty, one might even say — that’s too often missing from novels of this stripe.

The most widely publicized early example of the phenomenon was undoubtedly the one which involved a humble insurance salesman named Tom Clancy, who came out of nowhere with a techno-thriller novel called The Hunt for Red October in 1984. The perfect book for a time of resurgent patriotism and military pride in the United States, it found a fan in no less elevated a personage than President Ronald Reagan, who declared it “my kind of yarn.” As the book topped the bestseller charts and the press rushed to draft their human-interest stories on the man who had written it, they learned that Clancy had gamed out its entire scenario, involving a rogue Soviet submarine captain who wishes to defect along with his vessel to the United States, with a friend of his named Larry Bond, using Harpoon, a tabletop wargame of modern naval combat designed by the latter. Clancy’s follow-up novel, a story of open warfare between East and West called Red Storm Rising, was a product of the same gestation process. To the literary establishment, it all seemed extremely strange and vaguely unsettling; to many a wargamer, it seemed perfectly natural.

Another line of ludic adaptations from the same period didn’t attract as much attention from the New York Times Book Review, much less the president, but nevertheless became almost as successful on its own terms. In 1983, TSR, the publisher of Dungeons & Dragons, decided to make a new series of adventure modules for the game, each of which would feature a different kind of dragon — because, as some of their customers were writing in their letters, the existing Dungeons & Dragons modules “had plenty of dungeons, but not many dragons.” The marketing exercise soon grew into Dragonlance, an elaborately plotted Tolkienesque epic set in a brand new fantasy world — one which, yes, featured plenty of dragons. TSR asked employees Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman to write a trilogy of novels based on the fourteen Dragonlance adventure modules and source books they planned to publish. Thus Dragons of Autumn Twilight, the first volume of The Dragonlance Chronicles, was published in the same year as The Hunt for Red October. It promptly became a nerdy sensation, the biggest fantasy novel of the year, spawning a whole new business for TSR as a publisher of paperback novels. In time, said novels would become as big a part of their business as the games whose names the books bore on their spines.

A third, only slightly less heralded example of the games-into-books trend actually predates the two I’ve just mentioned by a couple of years. In the last 1970s, a group of students at the University of California San Diego took up the recently published Dungeons & Dragons. Growing dissatisfied with TSR’s rules, they scrapped them one by one, replacing them with their own home-grown versions. Meanwhile they evolved a world in which to play called Midkemia, complete with its own detailed history, bestiary, sociology, and geography. Forming a little company of their own, as so many Dungeons & Dragons fanatics were doing at the time, they published some of their innovations to modest sales.

Raymond E. Feist

But one of their number named Raymond E. Feist had bigger ambitions. He wrote a novel based on some of the group’s exploits in Midkemia. Calling it simply Magician, he got it published through Doubleday in 1982 as the first volume of The Riftwar Saga. It sold very well, and he’s been writing Midkemia novels ever since.

Unlike the later cases of Tom Clancy and Dragonlance, Magician wasn’t widely publicized or advertised as being the product of a game. It was seen instead as merely the latest entry in an exploding branch of genre fiction: lengthy high-fantasy series inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien, often to the point of one-to-one correspondences between characters and plot events, but written in a manner more immediately accessible to the average Middle American reader, with more action, more narrative thrust, less elevated diction, and markedly less digressive songs and poetry. Dragonlance, of course, is an example of the same breed.

I must admit that I’ve personally read only the first book of Feist’s series, and not even to completion at that. This sort of derivative high fantasy doesn’t do much for me as a rule, so I’m not the best person to judge Feist’s output under any circumstances. Anything positive I do say about it runs the risk of damning with faint praise.

To wit: my wife and I used the book as our light bedtime reading, and we made it about two-thirds of the way through before terminal ennui set in and we decided we’d had enough. If that seems like less than a ringing endorsement, know that it’s farther than I generally get with most fantasy novels, including ones with considerably more literary credibility. I thus feel comfortable in saying that at least the early Raymond E. Feist novels are well-crafted examples of their breed, if you happen to like that sort of thing. (I do understand from others that the quality of his work, and particularly of his plotting, began to decline after his first handful of Midkemia novels. Perhaps because he was no longer basing them on his gaming experiences?)

The world of Midkemia is most interesting for our purposes, however, for the computer game it spawned. Yes, a series of novels based on a game got turned back into a very different sort of game. And then, just for good measure, that game got turned into another novel. It’s a crazy old transmedia world.

The more direct origin of Betrayal at Krondor, the game in question, can be traced back to June of 1991 and a chance meeting between John Cutter and Jeff Tunnell at the Summer Consumer Electronics Show. Both names may be familiar to regular readers of these histories.

John Cutter

Cutter had spent several years with Cinemaware, helping to craft many of their most innovative creations, which blended strong narrative elements with play styles that were unorthodox in story-heavy computer games at the time. In late 1990, with Cinemaware in the process of collapsing, he and several colleagues had jumped ship to New World Computing, best known for their Might & Magic series of CRPGs. But he was trapped in a purely administrative role there, without the freedom to create which he had enjoyed at Cinemaware, and was already feeling dissatisfied by the time he met Tunnell at that Summer CES.

Jeff Tunnell

Tunnell, for his part, was the founder of the studio known as Dynamix, now a subsidiary of Sierra Online. They were best known for their 3D graphics technology and the line of vehicular simulators it enabled, but they had fingers in several other pies as well, from adventure games to a burgeoning interest in casual puzzle games.

Recognizing talent when he saw it, Tunnell asked Cutter to leave Southern California, the home of the erstwhile Cinemaware and the current New World, and come to Eugene, Oregon, the home of Dynamix. Not only would he be able to have a creative role there once again, Tunnell promised, but he would be allowed to make whatever game he wanted to. Cutter jumped at the chance.

Once in Eugene, however, he struggled to identify just the right project. His first instinct was to make a point-and-click adventure game in the Sierra mold, but Tunnell, having made three of them in the last couple of years to less than satisfying effect, was feeling burned out on the genre and its limitations, and gently steered him away from it. (Absolute creative freedom, Cutter was learning, is seldom really absolute.)

At last, Tunnell came to Cutter with an idea of his own. He’d been reading a very popular series of fantasy novels by this fellow named Raymond E. Feist, and he thought they’d make a fine CRPG. Dynamix had never dabbled in the genre before, but when had that ever stopped them from trying something new? He suggested that Cutter give the first few of the books a read. If it turned out that he liked them as well and agreed that they’d make a good game, well, perhaps he should ring Feist up and have a chat about just that possibility.

Glad to finally have a clear sense of direction, Cutter did the one thing and then did the other. Feist was very busy, but was himself a long-time computer gamer, having sat down in front of his first Apple II some twelve or thirteen years before. He liked the idea of seeing Midkemia come to life on a computer screen. Although he didn’t have much time for working personally on such a project, he told his agent to make the deal happen if at all possible. So, a contract was signed that gave Dynamix the right to make Midkemia games until January 1, 1995, with Feist given the right of final approval or rejection of each title prior to its release. By one account at least, it was the most expensive literary license yet granted to a game developer, a sign of Feist’s ongoing popularity among readers of fantasy literature.

Another, slightly less welcome sign of same followed immediately after: upon being asked whether he was interested in authoring the game himself, Feist said that his time was money, so he’d need to be paid something beyond the terms of the licensing agreement itself — and, he noted flatly, “you couldn’t afford me.” This posed a dilemma. Cutter believed himself to be a better designer of game systems than a writer, and thus certainly wasn’t going to take on the job personally. Casting about for a likely candidate, his thoughts turned to one Neal Hallford, an enthusiastic young fellow with a way with words whom he’d befriended back at New World Computing.

Neal Hallford

A fresh-out-of-university Hallford had joined New World in the role of writer some months before Cutter himself had arrived. His first assignment there had been to make sense of the poorly translated English text of Tunnels & Trolls: Crusaders of Khazan, a project New World had chosen to outsource to a Japanese developer, with underwhelming results all the way around. After that truly thankless task, he’d worked for a while on Might and Magic III before playing a pivotal role on Planet’s Edge, an ambitious science-fiction CRPG that had tried to do just a little bit too much for its own good. He was just finishing that project when his old friend John Cutter called.

Like Cutter before him, Hallford found Dynamix’s offer difficult to refuse. Eugene struck him as idyllic by contrast with the crowded, smoggy streets of Los Angeles; meanwhile Dynamix’s offices enjoyed the well-deserved reputation of being just about the most stylish and comfortable in the entire industry, vastly outdistancing even the parent company of Sierra in that respect. Certainly they compared favorably with the chaotic jumble of tightly packed cubicles that was the domain of New World. Thus on Halloween Day, 1991, Hallford shook hands with his old colleges there for the last time and hopped into his Geo Metro for the drive north.

Upon Hallford’s arrival in Eugene, Cutter pulled him into his office and kept him there for a week, while the two hashed out exactly what game they wanted to make and wrote the outline of a script. Hallford still remembers that week of frenzied creativity as “one of the best weeks of my life.” These two friends, different in talents and personality but unified in their vision for the game, would do the vast majority of the creative heavy lifting that would go into it. Broadly stated, Cutter would be the systems guy while Hallford would be the story guy, yet their visions would prove so simpatico that they’d seldom disagree on much of anything at all.

Jeff Tunnel had initially fallen in love with a Midkemia novel called Silverthorn, and the original plan he’d pitched to Cutter had been to make the game a fairly straightforward adaptation of that book’s plot. But such a thing is inherently problematic, for reasons I’ve had ample cause to discuss in earlier articles. Players who buy the game because they read and liked the novel — who are, after all, the whole reason for making a licensed game at all from a business perspective — won’t be excited about stepping through a plot they already know. At the same time, it’s all too easy from the design side to make a game where victory hinges on taking all of the same idiosyncratic, possibly irrational actions as the protagonists of the novel. And so you end up with a game that bores one group of players to tears, even as it frustrates another group who don’t happen to know what Character A needs to do in Situation B in order to replicate the novel’s story.

The biggest appeal of the Midkemia novels, Hallford believed, was indeed the world itself, with its detailed culture and geography and its cast of dozens of well-established characters. It would be better, he thought, to set a brand new story there, one that would let Feist’s many fans meet up with old friends in familiar locales, but that wouldn’t force them to step by rote through a plot they already knew. During the crash course on Midkemia which he’d given himself in the few weeks before starting at Dynamix — like Cutter, he’d come to Feist fandom cold — Hallford had identified a twenty-year “hole” in the chronology where he and Cutter could set a new story: just after A Darkness at Sethanon, the concluding volume in the original Riftwar Cycle that had started the ball rolling. Somewhat to everyone’s surprise, Feist was willing to entrust this young, unproven writer with creating something really new in his world. Betrayal at Krondor was off and running.

Hallford may have come to Midkemia late, but his dogged determination to capture the world exactly as it existed in the novels would come to a large degree to define the project. He calls himself a “born fanboy” by nature. Thus, even though he wasn’t quite of Feist’s hardcore fandom, he had enormous empathy for them. He points back to an experience from his youth: when, as a dedicated Star Trek fan, he started to read the paperback novels based on the television series which Pocket Books published in the 1980s. I read them as well, and can remember that some of them were surprisingly good as novels, at least according to my adolescent sensibilities, while also managing to capture the spirit of the series I saw on television. Others, however… not so much. Hallford points to one disillusioning book in particular, which constantly referred to phasers as “ray guns.” It inculcated in him a sense that any writer who works in a beloved universe owes it to the fans of said universe — even if he’s not really one of them — to be as true to it as is humanly possible.

So, Hallford wrote Betrayal at Krondor with Feist’s fans constantly in mind. He immersed himself in Feist’s works to the point of that he was almost able to become the novelist. The prose he crafted, vivid and effective within its domain, really is virtually indistinguishable from that of its inspiration, whose own involvement was limited to an early in-person meeting and regular phone conversations thereafter. Yet the latter became more rather than less frequent as the project wore on; Feist found his enthusiasm for the game increasing in tandem with his surprise at how earnestly Hallford tried to capture his novels and the extent to which he was managing to succeed with only the most limited coaching. The fan verdict would prove even more telling. To this day, many of them believe that it was Feist himself who scripted Betrayal at Krondor.

But Betrayal of Krondor is notable for more than Neal Hallford’s dedicated fan service. It’s filled to bursting with genuinely original ideas, many of which flew in the face of contemporary fashions in games. Not all of the ideas work — some of them rather pull against one another — but the game’s boldness makes it a bracing study in design.

Following the lead of GUI advocates working with other sorts of software, game designers in the early 1990s were increasingly embracing the gospel of the “mode-less” interface: a single master screen on which everything takes place, as opposed to different displays and interfaces for different play states. (For an excellent example of how a mode-less interface could be implemented in the context of a CRPG, see Origin Systems’s Ultima VII.) Cutter and Hallford, however, pitched this gospel straight into the trash can without a second thought. Betrayal at Krondor has a separate mode for everything.

The closest thing it has to a “home” screen must be the first-person exploration view, which uses 3D graphics technology poached from Dynamix’s flight simulators. But then, you can and probably often will move around from an overhead map view as well. When interesting encounters happen, the screen is given over to text with clickable menus, or to storybook-style illustrated dialog scenes. When you get in a fight, that’s also displayed on a screen of its own; combat is a turn-based affair played on a grid that ends up vaguely resembling the Battle Chess games by Interplay. (Thankfully, it’s also tactically interesting and satisfying.) And then when you come upon a locked chest, you’re dumped into yet another new mode, where you have to work out a word puzzle in order to open it, because why not? All of these modes are accompanied by different styles of graphics: 3D graphics on the main exploration screen, a no-frills Rogue-like display for the overhead movement view, pixel art with the story scenes, digitized real-world actors with the dialog scenes, the sprite-based isometric view that accompanies combat, etc.

The first-person exploration view.

The overhead view.

A bit of exposition. Could this be a side quest before us?

The combat view.

A puzzle chest. The answer to this one, for the record, is “die.” Later riddles get much more complicated, but the mechanics of the puzzles ingenuously prevent them from ever becoming completely insoluble. Many a male player has had a significant other who couldn’t care less about the rest of the game, but loves these puzzle chests…

This mishmash of approaches can make the game feel like a throwback to the 1980s, when genres and their established sets of best practices were not yet set in stone, and when many games that may strike us as rather odd mashups today were being produced. We can certainly see John Cutter’s roots in Cinemaware here; that company made a career out of ignoring the rules of ludic genre in favor of whatever systems best conveyed the fictional genre they were attempting to capture. By all rights, Betrayal at Krondor ought not to work, as so many of Cinemaware’s games tended not quite to work. All of these different modes and play styles — the puzzle chests in particular seem beamed in from a different game entirely — ought to add up to a hopelessly confusing muddle. Somehow, though, it does work; Betrayal at Krondor actually isn’t terribly hard to come to grips with initially, and navigating its many modes soon becomes second nature.

One reason for this is doubtless also the reason for much else that’s good about the game: its unusually extended testing period. When development was reaching what everyone thought to be its final stages, Dynamix sent the game to outside testers for what was expected to be a three-month evaluation period. Even this much usability testing would have been more than most studios were doing at this time. But the project, as so many game-development projects tend to do, ran way longer than expected, and three months turned into nine months of constant player feedback. While our universe isn’t entirely bereft of games that seem to have sprung into being fully-formed, by far the most good games attain that status only gradually, through repeated iterations of testing and feedback. Betrayal at Krondor came by its goodness in exactly this hard, honest way. Unlike a dismaying number of games from its time, this game feels like one that’s actually been played — played extensively — before it got released. The niggling problems that dog even many good games from the early 1990s (such as the infuriating inventory management and rudderless combat of Ultima VII) are almost completely absent here. Instead the game is full of thoughtful little touches to head off annoyance, the sort of touches that can only come from real player feedback.

The final verdict on its mishmash of graphical approaches, on the other hand, must be less positive. Betrayal at Krondor wasn’t a notably attractive game even by the standards of its day, and time has done it no favors; the project desperately needed a strong art director able to impose a unified aesthetic vision. The parts of it that have aged the worst by far are those employing digitized actors, who look almost unbelievably ludicrous, cutting violently against any sense of Tolkienesque grandeur Hallford’s prose might be straining to evoke. Most store-bought Halloween costumes look higher rent than this bunch of survivors of an explosion at the Loony Tunes prop department. John Cutter acknowledges the problems:

We digitized a lot of the actors, and we assumed they were going to be so pixelated that the makeup and costumes didn’t have to look that great. They just kind of had to be… close. But by the time we launched the game the technology had improved… yeah. You could see the elastic bands on the fake beards. It was pretty bad. I wasn’t crazy about a lot of the graphics in the game.

Tellingly, the use of digitized actors was the one place where Betrayal at Krondor didn’t blaze its own trail, bowing instead to contemporary trends.

For all of Betrayal at Krondor‘s welcome willingness just to try lots of stuff, its approach to story remains its most memorable and interesting quality of all. This aspect of the game was so front and center in the mind of John Cutter that, when he wrote a brief few paragraphs of “Designer Notes” for the manual, it came to occupy more than half the space:

We decided the game should be an interactive story. Characters would be multidimensional and capable of stirring the player’s emotions. The story would be carefully plotted with lots of surprises, a good mix of humor and pathos, and abundant amounts of mystery and foreshadowing to keep the player intrigued.

Balancing play against plot is the most confounding job any game designer can face on a fantasy role-playing game. In Betrayal at Krondor, we have integrated our plot so that it provides ample gaming opportunities, while also giving the player a sense of time, place, and purpose. This is achieved by making an onscreen map available to the player at all times, and by creating short-term goals — the nine chapters in the game — which give us a unique opportunity to tell a progressive story that still gives the player plenty of freedom to explore and adventure without being confined to a scripted plot.

In thus “balancing play against plot,” Cutter and Hallford were attempting to square a circle that had been bedeviling game designers for a long time. All of the things that mark a rich story — characters with agendas of their own; big reveals and shocking turns; the classic narrative structure of rising action, climax, and denouement; dramatic confrontations with expressive dialog — cut against the player’s freedom to go wherever and do whatever she wants. As a designer, says the conventional wisdom, you can’t have it all: you must rather stake out your spot on a continuum where at one end the player does little more than click her way through a railroaded plot line, and at the other she does absolutely anything she wants, but does it in a world bereft of any larger meaning or purpose. Adventure games tend to lean toward the set-piece-storytelling end of the continuum, CRPGs toward open-ended interactivity.

Even CRPGs from around the time of Betrayal at Krondor which are written expansively and well, such as Ultima VII, generally send you wandering through other people’s stories rather than your own. Each city you explore in that game is full of little story stubs revolving around the inhabitants thereof rather than yourself; your role is merely to nudge these dramas of others along to some sort of resolution before you disappear again. Your larger agenda, meanwhile, boils down to the usual real or metaphorical collecting of pieces to assemble the big whatsit at the end — a series of actions which can be done in any order precisely because they’re so simplistic in terms of plot. You’re in the world, but never really feel yourself to be of it.

Cutter and Hallford, however, refused to accept the conventional wisdom embodied by even so markedly innovative a CRPG as Ultima VII. They were determined to deliver the best of both worlds — an adventure-game-like plot and CRPG-like freedom — in the same game. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t quite work as a whole. Nevertheless, the attempt is well worth discussing.

Betrayal at Krondor positively trumpets its intentions via the metaphors which its user interface employs. Once again ignoring all of the fashions of its time, which emphasized the definitively non-textual aesthetic of the interactive movie, this game presents itself as an interactive book with an enthusiasm worthy of the 1980s heyday of bookware. The overriding look of the game, to the extent it has one amidst all its clashing graphical styles, is of an illuminated manuscript, ink on yellowing parchment. The story is told in a literary past tense, save points become “bookmarks,” and, as Cutter himself noted in the extract above, the whole experience is divided into nine neat “chapters.”

The game is relentless about describing every single event using full sentences worthy of one of Feist’s novels. Sometimes the end result can verge on the ridiculous. For example, every single time you search the body of an opponent you’ve just killed — something you’ll be doing an awful lot of, what with this being a CRPG and all — you’re greeted with a verbose missive:

Owyn looked for supplies. Feeling like a vulture, he turned the body this way and that as he searched for anything that might be of value to them on their journey. All in all, he supposed that if he were the dead man, it wouldn’t matter to him any longer what happened to his belongings.

Every character has the exact same feeling when searching a dead body, despite very different personalities. This is one of many places where Betrayal at Krondor‘s verbosity winds up undercutting rather than strengthening its sense of mimesis.

Of course, you can and quickly will learn to click right through this message and its one or two random variations each time you search a corpse. But it remains an amusing sign of just how committed Cutter and Halford were to their “interactive storybook” concept in even the most repetitive, mechanical areas of their creation. (Imagine what Pac-Man would be like if the title character stopped to muse about his actions every time he swallowed a power pill and killed another ghost…)

All of this past-tense verbosity has an oddly distancing effect. You don’t feel like you’re having an adventure so much as reading one — or possibly writing one. You’re held at a remove even from the characters in your party, normally the primary locus of player identification in a game like this one. You don’t get to make your own characters; instead you’re assigned three of them who fulfill the needs of the plot. And, while you can guide their development by earning experience points, improving their skills, and buying them new spells and equipment, you don’t even get to hang onto the same bunch through the whole game. Characters are moved in and out of your party from chapter to chapter — again, as the needs of each chapter’s plot requires. The final effect almost smacks of a literary hypertext, as you explore the possibility space of a story rather than actually feeling yourself to be embodying a role or roles in that story. This is certainly unique, and not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just… a little strange in relation to what we tend to think of CRPGs as being. These are, after all, role-playing games.

As I’ve described it so far, Betrayal at Krondor sounds more akin to the typical Japanese than the Western CRPG. The former tend to lie much closer to the set-piece-story end of our continuum of design; they provide a set, fairly linear plot to walk through, generally complete with predefined characters, rather than the degree of world simulation and open-ended exploration that marks the Western tradition. (A Japanese CRPG is, many a critic has scoffed, just a linear story in which you have to fight a battle to see each successive scene.) Yet Betrayal at Krondor actually doesn’t fit comfortably with that bunch either. For, as Cutter also notes above, he and his design partner were determined to “give the player plenty of freedom to explore and adventure without being bound to a scripted plot.”

Their means of accomplishing that relies once again on the chapter system. Each chapter begins and ends with a big helping of set-piece plot and exposition. In between, though, you’re free to go your own way and take your time in satisfying the conditions that will lead to the end of the chapter. In the first chapter, for example, your assignment is to escort a prisoner across much of the map to the capital city of Krondor. How and when you do so is up to you. The map is filled with encounters and quests, most of which have nothing to do with your central mission. And when you eventually do finish the chapter and continue on with the next, the same map gets repopulated with new things to do. This is the origin of a claim from Dynamix’s marketing department that Betrayal at Krondor is really nine CRPGs in one. In truth, it doesn’t quite live up to that billing. Only a subsection of the map is actually available to you in most chapters, much of it being walled off by impenetrable obstacles or monsters you can’t possibly kill. Even the repopulation that happens between chapters is far from comprehensive. Still, it’s an impressively earnest attempt to combine the pleasures of set-piece plotting with those of an emergent, persistent virtual world.

And yet the combination between set-piece storytelling and emergent exploration always feels like just that: a combination rather than a seamless whole. Cutter and Hallford didn’t, in other words, truly square this particular circle. There’s one massive block of cognitive dissonance standing at the center of it all.

Consider: you’re told at the beginning of the first chapter that your mission of escorting your prisoner to the capital is urgent. Political crisis is in the air, war clouds on the horizon. The situation demands that you hurry to Krondor by the shortest, most direct path. And yet what do you do, if you want to get the most out of the game? You head off in the opposite direction at a relaxed doddle, poking your nose into every cranny you come across. There’s a tacit agreement between game and player that the “urgent” sense of crisis in the air won’t actually evolve into anything until you decide to make it do so by hitting the next plot trigger. Thus the fundamental artificiality of the story is recognized at some level by both game and player, in a way that cuts against everything Betrayal at Krondor claims to want to be. This isn’t really an interactive storybook; it’s still at bottom a collection of gameplay elements wired together with chunks of story that don’t really need to be taken all that seriously at the end of the day.

The same sense of separation shows itself in those lengthy chapter-beginning and -ending expository scenes. A lot of stuff happens in these, including fights involving the characters ostensibly under your control, that you have no control over whatsoever — that are external to the world simulation. And then the demands of plot are satisfied for a while, and the simulation engine kicks back in. This is no better or worse than the vast majority of games with stories, but it certainly isn’t the revolution some of the designers’ claims might seem to imply.

Of course, one might say that all of these observations are rather more philosophical than practical, of more interest to game designers and scholars than the average player; you can suspend your disbelief easily enough and enjoy the game just as it is. There are places in Betrayal at Krondor, however, where some of the knock-on effects of the designers’ priorities really do impact your enjoyment in more tangible ways. For this is a game which can leave you marooned halfway through, unable to move forward and unable to go back.

Dead ends where the only option is to restore are normally less associated with CRPGs than adventure games; they played a big role in all but killing that genre as a commercial proposition by the end of the 1990s. CRPGs are usually more forgiving thanks to their more simulation-oriented nature — but, sadly, Betrayal at Krondor is an exception, due to a confluence of design decisions that all seem perfectly reasonable and were all made with the best of intentions. It thus provides a lesson in unexpected, unintended consequences — a lesson which any game designer would be wise to study.

The blogger Chet Bolingbroke, better known as The CRPG Addict, made these comments recently in the context of another game:

One of the notable features of CRPGs in contrast to some other genres is that they almost always support a Plan B. When one way of playing doesn’t work out, you can almost always resort to a more boring, more banal, grindier method of getting something done. I tend to mentally preface these fallback plans with “I can always…” Having a tough time with the final battle? “I can always reload again and again until the initiative rolls go my way.” Can’t overcome the evil wizard at your current level? “I can always grind.” Running out of resources? “I can always retreat from the dungeon, head back to town and buy a ton of healing potions.”

The most frustrating moments in CRPGs are when you suddenly find yourself with no way to finish “I can always” — when there is no Plan B, when luck alone will never save you, when there isn’t even a long way around.

This is precisely the problem which the player of Betrayal at Krondor can all too easily run into. Not only does the game allow you to ignore the urgent call of its plot, but it actually forces you to do so in order to be successful. If you take the impetus of the story seriously and rush to fulfill your tasks in the early chapters, you won’t build up your characters sufficiently to survive the later ones. Even if you do take your time and explore, trying to accrue experience, focusing on the wrong skills and spells can leave you in the same boat. By the time you realize your predicament, your “Plan B” is nonexistent. You can’t get back to those encounters you skipped in the earlier, easier chapters, and thus can’t grind your characters out of their difficulties. There actually are no random encounters whatsoever in the game, only the fixed ones placed on the map at the beginning of each chapter. I’m no fan of grinding, so I’d normally be all in favor of such a choice, which Cutter and Hallford doubtless made in order to make the game less tedious and increase its sense of narrative verisimilitude. In practice, though, it means that the pool of available money and experience is finite, meaning you need not only to forget the plot and explore everywhere in the earlier chapters but make the right choices in terms of character development there if you hope to succeed in the later ones.

On the whole, then, Betrayal at Krondor acquits itself better in its earlier chapters than in its later ones. It can be a very immersive experience indeed when you first start out with a huge map to roam, full of monsters to battle and quests to discover. By the time said map has been repopulated three or four times, however, roaming across its familiar landmarks yet again, looking for whatever might be new, has begun to lose some of its appeal.

And then, as Neal Hallford would be the first to admit, Betrayal at Krondor is written above all for Raymond E. Feist fans, which can be a bit problematic if you don’t happen to be among them. This was my experience, at any rate. As an outsider to Feist’s universe, watching characters I didn’t know talk about things I’d never heard of eventually got old. When an “iconic” character like Jimmy the Hand shows up, I’m supposed to be all aflutter with excitement, but instead I’m just wondering who this latest jerk in a terrible costume is and why I should care. In my view, the game peaks in Chapter 3, which takes the form of a surprisingly complex self-contained murder mystery; this is a place where the game does succeed in integrating its set-piece and emergent sides to a greater extent than elsewhere. If you elect to stop playing after that chapter, you really won’t miss that much.

As I noted already, Betrayal at Krondor ran dramatically over time and over budget. To their credit, Dynamix’s management didn’t push it out the door in an unfinished state, as was happening with so many other games during this period of transition to larger and more complex productions. Yet everyone, especially poor Neal Hallford, felt the pressure of getting it done. Not only did he write almost every word of the considerable amount of text in the game, but he also wrote much of the manual, and somehow even wound up on the hook for the puff pieces about it in Sierra’s customer newsletter. After weeks of virtually living at the office, he collapsed there one day, clutching at his chest. His colleagues rushed him to the hospital, believing he must be having a heart attack even though he was still in his twenties. It turned out that he wasn’t, but the doctor’s orders were clear: “You’re not going back to work for a week. Get some rest and eat something proper. No pizza. No soft drinks. It’s either this or next time you leave work it’ll be in a hearse.�� Such are the perils of commercial game development.

Betrayal at Krondor finally shipped on June 15, 1993, an inauspicious time in the history of CRPGs. Origin Systems was about to take the Ultima series in a radically different direction after a less than overwhelming response to Ultima VII; Sir-Tech was about to put their equally long-running Wizardry series on ice for similar reasons; SSI was facing dwindling sales of their Dungeons & Dragons games and was on the verge of losing the once-coveted license; other publishers were quietly dropping less prominent franchises and would-be franchises. The several years to come would be remembered by CRPG fans as the Dark Age of their favored genre; relatively few of games of this stripe would be released at all, and those that were would be greeted by the marketplace with little enthusiasm.

Initially, Dynamix’s first CRPG performed about as well as you might expect in this environment. Despite some strong reviews, and despite whatever commercial advantages the Feist license brought with it, sales were slow. Cutter and Hallford had gone into Betrayal at Krondor imagining it to be only the first entry in a new series, but it soon appeared unlikely that a sequel would come to pass. Sierra, Dynamix’s parent company, was having an ugly year financially and wasn’t in the mood to make another expensive game in a passé genre, while Jeff Tunnell, the man who had had the original idea for Betrayal at Krondor, had stepped down from day-to-day management at Dynamix in favor of running a smaller subsidiary studio. Cutter and Hallford begged their new bosses to give the game time before making any final decisions, noting that good reviews and positive word of mouth among fans of the novels could yet pay dividends. The leadership team responded by laying Cutter off.

But over time, Betrayal at Krondor continued to sell steadily if not spectacularly. Then a genuine surge in sales came in early 1994, when a CD-ROM-based version featuring a lovely soundtrack and enhanced if still less than lovely graphics was released, just as the influential magazine Computer Gaming World was crowning the game the best CRPG of the previous year. Dynamix now made a belated attempt to start work on a sequel, asking Neal Hallford to helm it. But he considered the budget they were proposing to be inadequate, the time frame for development far too compressed. He turned it down, and left the company shortly thereafter. Dynamix would never make a second CRPG, whether set in Midkemia or anywhere else.

Nevertheless, that wasn’t quite the end of the story. Feist had been profoundly impressed by Betrayal at Krondor, and now took the ludic possibilities of his series of novels much more seriously than he had before seeing it. As soon as the Dynamix license expired at the beginning of 1995, he began to shop the property around once again. Initially, however, he found no one willing to pay his price,what with the current state of the CRPG market. While interactive Midkemia was thus in limbo, Sierra came up with another, cheaper idea for capitalizing on the first game’s belated success. Lacking the Midkemia license, they decided to leverage the first half of the Betrayal at Krondor name instead, releasing the in-house-developed Betrayal in Antara in 1997. It copied some of the interface elements and gameplay approaches of its predecessor, but moved the action to a generic fantasy world, to less satisfying effect.

And yet the story still wasn’t over: as the CRPG market began to improve in the wake of Interplay’s Fallout, the first real hit in the genre in several years, Feist licensed the Midkemia rights back to Sierra of all publishers. Sierra turned this latest project over to an outside developer called PyroTechnix. Feist played a much more active role on Return to Krondor, the game which resulted, than he had on Betrayal at Krondor, yet the result once again pales in comparison to the first Midkemia game, perhaps because Cutter and Hallford once again played no role. Its mixed reception in 1998 marks the last implementation of Midkemia on a computer to date.

Two of Feist’s later books, 1998’s Krondor: The Betrayal and 2000’s Krondor: Tear of the Gods, were based upon the first and second Midkemia computer game respectively. Thus Midkemia completed its long, strange transmedia journey from game to book to game to book again. Feist continues to churn out books apace today, but they don’t sell in the same quantities anymore, bearing as they do the stale odor of a series long past its sell-by date.

For many of us, Betrayal at Krondor will always remain the most memorable entry in the exercise in competent derivation that is Midkemia as a whole; the game is ironically much more innovative in its medium than the novels which spawned it are in theirs. Indeed, it’s thoroughly unique, a welcome breath of bold originality in a genre usually content to rely on the tried and true, a game which doesn’t work perfectly but perhaps works better than it has any right to. As a writer, I can only applaud a game which takes it writing this seriously. If it’s not quite the revolutionary amalgamation of narrative and interactivity that its creators wanted it to be, it’s still a heck of a lot more interesting than your average dungeon crawl.

(Sources: the book Designers and Dragons by Shannon Appelcline; Sierra’s newsletter InterAction of Winter 1992 and June 1993; Compute! of December 1993; Computer Gaming World of February 1993, April 1994, June 1994, and August 1996; Electronic Games of October 1992 and June 1993; Questbusters of November 1991, August 1992, April 1993, and August 1993; Retro Gamer 84; Dragon of January 2004; the CD-ROM Today bundled CD-ROM of August/September 1994. Online sources include Matt Barton’s interviews with Neal Hallford, Jeff Tunnell, and John Cutter in Matt Chat episodes 191, 192, 201, 291, 292, and 293; Neal Hallford’s blog series Krondor Confidential; the “History of Midkemia Press” on the same publisher’s website.

Betrayal at Krondor and Betrayal in Antara are available as a package purchase at GOG.com.)

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/betrayal-at-krondor/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years ago

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#1yrago Not in our name: Why European creators must oppose the EU's proposal to limit linking and censor the internet

The European Copyright Directive vote is in three days and it will be a doozy: what was once a largely uncontroversial grab bag of fixes to copyright is now a political firestorm, thanks to the actions of Axel Voss, the German MEP who changed the Directive at the last minute, sneaking in two widely rejected proposals on the same day the GDPR came into effect, forming a perfect distraction (you can contact your MEP about these at Save Your Internet).

These two proposals are:

1. "Censorship Machines": Article 13, which forces online providers to create databases of text, images, videos, code, games, mods, etc that anyone can add anything to -- if a user tries to post something that may match a "copyrighted work," in the database, the system has to censor them

2. "Link Tax": Article 11, which will only allow internet users to post links to news sites if the service they're using has bought a "linking license" from the news-source they're linking to; under a current proposal, links that contain more than two consecutive words from an article's headline will be illegal without a license.

We're all busy and we all rely on trusted experts to give us guidance on what side of an issue to take, and creators often take their cues from professional societies and from the entertainment industry, but in this case, both have proven to be unreliable.

In a recent tweetstorm, Niall from the UK's Society of Authors sets out his group's case for backing these proposals. As a UK author, I was alarmed to see an organisation that nominally represents me taking such misguided positions and I tried to rebut them, albeit within Twitter's limitations.

Here's a less fragmented version.

Niall writes that Article 11 ("link taxes") will not stop you from linking to the news. That's just wrong. If you don't host your own blog on your own server, you'll going to posting your links from one of the platforms, either a multinational, US-based company like Facebook, or a smaller EU competitor. Under Article 11, you can't link to a news-site without a license.

Article 11 doesn't actually define what a "link" or a "news site" is (this is a pretty serious oversight). But Article 11 is an EU-wide version of local laws that were already attempted in Spain and Germany, and under those laws, links that included the headline in "anchor text" (that's the underlined, blue text that goes with a hyperlink) were banned. In the current amendments, Axel Voss has proposed that using more than two consecutive words from a headline would not be allowed without a license.

Niall says that memes and other forms of parody will not be blocked by Article 13's filters, because they are exempted from European copyright. That's doubly wrong.

First, there are no EU-wide copyright exemptions. Under the 2001 Copyright Directive, European countries get to choose zero or more exemptions from a list of permissible ones.

Second, even in countries where parody is legal, Article 13's copyright filters won't be able to detect it. No one has ever written a software tool that can tell parody from mere reproduction, and such a thing is so far away from our current AI tools as to be science fiction (as both a science fiction writer and a Visiting Professor of Computer Science at the UK's Open University, I feel confident in saying this).

Niall says that Wikipedia won't be affected by Article 13 and Article 11. This is so wrong, I published a long article about it. tl;dr: Wikipedia's articles rely on being able to link to analyses of the news, which Article 11 will limit; Wikipedia's projects like Wikimedia Commons are not exempted from Article 13; and commercial Wikipedia offshoots lose what little carveouts are present in Article 13.

Niall says Article 13 will not hurt small businesses, only make them pay their share. This is wrong. Article 13's copyright filters will cost hundreds of millions to build (existing versions of these filters, like Youtube's Content ID, cost $60,000,000 and only filter a tiny slice of the media Article 13 requires), which will simply destroy small competitors to the US-based multinationals.

What's more, these filters are notorious for underblocking (missing copyrighted works -- a frequent complaint made by the big entertainment companies...when they're not demanding more of these filters) and overblocking (blocking copyrighted works that have been uploaded by their own creators because they are similar to something claimed by a giant corporation).

Niall says Article 13 is good for creators' rights. This is wrong. Creators benefit when there is a competitive market for our works. When a few companies monopolise the channels of publication, payment, distribution and promotion, creators can't shop around for better deals, because those few companies will all converge on the same rotten policies that benefit them at our expense.

We've seen this already: once Youtube became the dominant force in online video, they launched a streaming music service and negotiated licenses from all the major labels. Then Youtube told the independent labels and indie musicians that they would have to agree to the terms set by the majors -- or be shut out of Youtube forever. In a market dominated by Youtube, they were forced to take the terms. Without competition, Youtube became just another kind of major label, with the same rotten deals for creators.

Niall says that Article 13 will stop abuses of copyright like when the fast-fashion brand Zara ripped off designers for its clothing. This is wrong (and a bit silly, really). What Zara did was illegal already, and since Zara's clothes are physical objects in shops (and not images on the web), web filters will have no effect on them.

Niall says that Article 13 isn't censorship. This is wrong. Copyright filters always overblock, catching dolphins in their tuna-nets. It's easy to demonstrate that these filters are grossly overblocking. When the government orders private actors to take measures that stop you from posting lawful communications, that's censorship.

Niall says that multinational companies will get a "huge victory" if Article 13 is stopped. That's wrong. While it's true that the Big Tech companies would prefer not to have any rules, they could very happily live with these rules, because they would effectively end any competition from new entrants into the field. Spending a few hundred million to comply with the Copyright Directive is a cheap alternative to having to buy out or crush any new companies that pose a threat.

I sympathise with Niall. As someone's who's volunteered as a regional director for other creators' rights groups, I understand that they're well-intentioned and trying to stand up for their members' interests.

But the Society of Authors and its allies have it wrong here. Articles 11 and 13 are catastrophes for both free expression and artists' livelihoods. They're a bargain in which Europe's big entertainment companies propose to sell Big Tech an Eternal Internet Domination license for a few hundred mil, cementing both Big Content and Big Tech's strangleholds on our ability to earn a living and reach an audience.

Don't take my word for it. David Kaye, the UN's Special Rapporteur on Human Rights, has condemned the proposals in the strongest possible terms.

And Wyclef Jean from the Fugees agrees, seeing Article 13 as a measure that will get between him and his audience by limiting his fans' ability to promote his work and pay his bills.

Meanwhile, Pascal Nègre (who recently stepped down after 20 years as President of Universal Music France) agrees, saying that the deal is "a net negative for artists, for the industry and, ultimately, for the public good."

Link taxes are a bad idea. In an era of fake news, anything that limits the ability of internet users to link to reliable news sources deals a terrible blow to our already weakened public discourse.

Copyright filters are an even worse idea. Not only will these both overblock and underblock, they'll also be ripe for abuse. Because the filters' proponents have rejected any penalties for fraudulently claiming copyright in works in order to censor them, anyone will be able to censor anything. You could claim all of Shakespeare's works on WordPress's filters, and no one would be able to quote Shakespeare until the human staff at the company had hand-deleted those entries -- and you could use bots to re-add those entries more quickly than they could be taken down.

More seriously, corrupt politicians and other public figures have already made a practice of using spurious copyright claims in order to censor unflattering news. Automating the process is a gift to any politician who wants to suppress video of an embarrassing campaign-event remark and any corrupt employer who wants to suppress video of an unsafe and abusive workplace incident.

Creators in the 21st Century struggle to earn a living -- just as we have in all the centuries since the invention of the printing press -- and we will forever be busy making things, and reliant on our professional organisations for guidance on which political currents run in our favour.

But there is a simple rule of thumb we can always follow that will keep us from being led astray: creators should always, always be on the side of free expression and always, always be opposed to censorship. We should always oppose anything that makes it easier to silence legitimate speech, anything that narrows who can control our public discourse by concentrating power into a few hands.

Creators, you have three days to talk to your lawmakers. Save Your Internet is the place to go to call, write and tweet them. This travesty is being undertaken in our name and we have a duty to stop it.

https://boingboing.net/2018/09/10/not-in-our-name.html

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veiledandvocal · 5 years ago

Text

Malcolm X Lecture

Alright y'all, this took me a little longer than I was hoping it would, but here you go. These are some of the things I learned in the Malcolm X lecture I attended last week:

The Smithsonian has a special called The Lost Tapes of Malcolm X which has lost of amazing clips of the legend

A little background on the man. His dad was killed by the KKK, his mom was institutionalized, and he had no higher than an elementary school education. His time in prison is what brought him to the Nation of Islam.

Malcolm X used the bad press to his advantage--sounds like something that can be recycled, huh? Pretty much, he used it to garner attention from those who connected to his message

The honest big difference between MLK and MX is that MLK was working in the Southern Civil Rights movement, which focused on integration and MX was in the Northern Civil Rights movement which focused on Black pride and equality.

Malcolm X's philosophy was: economic independence leads to political and cultural independence.

Malcolm X distanced himself from the Nation of Islam before his trip to hajj, main contributing factors include:

First, something to keep in mind, Hoover's FBI focused on tearing apart the Black movement nationwide. They would question leaders working on getting them to say something about another and publish it, wire-tap, highlight indiscretions, infiltrate letters that were being sent, etc.

Elijah Muhammad's indiscretions

Seven unarmed black men were killed by police in LA, one being Malcolm's friend, Ronald Stokes. Malcolm asked the Nation to do more in regards to them stating their condemnation of the murders, but they refused. He was hurt by their lack of fight for justice (he ended up going to LA alone and speaking out)

Malcolm spoke on the murder of JFK, which the Nation forbid him to do, stating that it wasn't a surprise to him considering all that the US has done to destabilize other countries, why wouldn't they do it to themselves (iconic)

The most important, is theology. Malcolm began to lean towards Sunni Islam in 1959.

MSAs (Muslim Student Associations AKA college/University clubs). That's right, MSAs! They were much smaller back then, as immigrant Muslims were in much smaller numbers back then and were mostly there for schooling. Students challenged Malcolm's ideologies and for the first time, Malcolm found himself umcertain.

Muhammad Ali, when he was still Cassius Clay, was a mentee to Malcolm X. After winning a championship, he declared his conversion to the Nation of Islam. He was told by the Nation not to talk to Malcolm, and that is when he realized there was no reconciliation.

After being, for a lack of a better term, excommunicated, he went to live with his sister Ella Collins, who at this point was already Sunni. She gave her Hajj savings to Malcolm stating that he needed the pilgrimage more than she did.

1964: Malcolm's hajj.

One of the rituals in hajj, is to throw 7 pebbles at the devil. He realized that his concept of the devil being the white man was incorrect. (I mean, it's a little correct)

He made a supplication to God, stating that when he goes home, he will reconcile with the Nation of Islam and work to bring them to true Islam.

Now, let's go over a couple of gems that he states about Arabs.

He was shocked that Islam was not known well in the West when he saw the vast number of people making the pilgrimage. He would tell Arabs that they should do more to spread the beauty of it. They would say inshallah. He said, that Arabs would say this, and as they moved with no sense of urgency, the world passed them by (which is still true to this day)

He also said if Suadi focused less on the modernization of Mecca and more on the modernization of spreading the message, it would be better for Islam (Mecca has been modernized more in the past 10 years than in the thousands of years of its existence and the perception of Islam worldwide is crap, so yet again, spot on)

Now, he has Sunni Islam as his faith and Pan Africanism as his political view

He got to visit several African countries, building relations before heading back

When he came home, he formed the OAAU (Organization of Afro American Unity) so that people could pursue the political work, without feeling like they had to convert to Islam

This is when the real fun stuff begins, so Malcolm (like a boss) uses the US' fears of bad foreign press (oh how times have changed) to pressure the world to prosecute the US for their racial violence (apparently, the world was relatively ignorant to this because of how great the US has always been at hiding their indiscretions)

About the US' racism, Malcolm X predicted a Black president would be elected in 2000 to prove to the world that they are not racist.

By any means necessary: let's break this bad boy down. So, Malcolm X was asked to have Blacks be nonviolent. He retorts, don't ask oppressed people to commit to something the oppressors are not committing to themselves. And like, all the snaps. If you notice, Malcolm was never violent himself. However, and rightly so, he felt it was unjust for him to tell Black people to be all peaceful and nonviolent when faced with violence. And, racial justice by any means necessary, I mean yes. Can you imagine, just IMAGINE, what our country would be like if this occurred. There has never been huge change without upturning the whole system, js.

Now, Malcolm X really begins to go global. He was the first Black man to talk about Vietnam. He connected Black struggle in the US to other struggles worldwide, including--Palestine!

That's right, Malcolm is the first American to ever bring up the Palestinian struggle, and this was before the war of 1967! He published a whole essay on Zionism, where he talked about the US being in Israel's pocket AND successfully got African nations to stop working with Israel if it was to the detriment of Palestine--just, wow.

Malcolm X, again with no more than an elementary school education, was invited to the Oxford Union Debate. The topic: "Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, moderation in pursuit of justice is no virtue."

Main mission of his at this time, was to dismantle international racial exploitation

As you can imagine, at this point, Malcolm X was an international threat to the US government. The FBI, NSA, and CIA were all working to bring him down. There is a letter from Hoover to the FBI that stated that they need to "Do something about Malcolm X"

Malcolm X purposefully played bad cop to Martin Luther King Jr.s good cop. His idea was, that if White people saw him as the alternative, they would agree to MLK's less intense views, therefore making a difference. There was a time he went down to the South to speak when MLK was in jail. He spoke to Coretta telling her to tell MLK that what he was saying was only to help him.

When his house was firebombed, he was shaken because never did he think his family would be attacked. Countless Black celebrities offered him a place to stay, the Suadi crown prince at the time, after him and his whole family Saudi citizenship (!!!). He refused, continuing to speak for justice.

He was killed with a smile on his face, and it was lead to believe that he knew what was coming that day

So yeah, this is just a bit that I learned and had to share. Malcolm X was an amazing man and my mind boggles to imagine what could have been if had not been murdered before the age of 40.

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babycoulson · 6 years ago

Text

Not Everyone’s a Battlefield

Hey guys! I'm sorry that it's been a while, but I just started college and things are crazy! I'd love to connect with you guys so if you want to talk to me, go ahead and message me and I'll tell you everything about what I'm doing right now.

"Gravitonium," Fitz stated. "It's an extremely rare high-atomic numbered element. That powers the device. It's so extremely rare that most people didn't believe it existed, much less the theory that an isolated positive charge—"

"—would turn the flow from isotropic—" Simmons continued.

"Guys, high-school dropout here," Skye reminded them.

"And someone with zero Ph.D.'s or any college experience, for that matter," you added.

"How does the device work again?" Skye asked.

"Well, Gravitonium distorts gravity fields within itself, causing an undulating, amorphous shape," Jemma explained, using slightly more understandable words.

"Which causes these, um wiggly bits here," Fitz continued, clearly struggling to use everyday language. To make up, he began demonstrating what he meant with his hands. "But when an electric current is applied, the Gravitonium solidifies. And those gravity fields erupt, randomly changing the rules of gravity around it. Well, so, now you can imagine what would happen to a big rig at 100 kilometers per hour. Or, uh, well, you could just remember, 'cause we saw it already, didn't we?"

"Yeah, and guess which genius published every theory about Gravitonium and possible applications years ago?" Simmons asked, much like a teacher.

"Dr. Franklin Hall," Skye answered.

"Correct," Fitz affirmed. "And Dr. Hall attended the University of Cambridge at the same time as Ian Quinn."

"Have you two ever considered teaching together?" you questioned, half serious. "You'd be good at it."

"Um, thank you, but we haven't, no," Simmons said.

"Okay, this all lines up, but I think Coulson may be off on this," Skye expressed. "Quinn is a notoriously good guy. His charity endowment's something like eight billion dollars."

"Yes, with money made from leeching the earth of its resources," Simmons pointed out. "Looks like he's dug up another."

"The man's a prisoner, and it's up to us to get him out," your father stated.

Everyone was wandering around the living space of the Bus, pondering the best way to go about this. You sat in a chair, your chin resting in your hand, watching Skye as she leaned up against a wall.

"We've checked the specs. There's no way into Quinn's compound without a large SHIELD strike force or a man inside," Ward argued. "He's got neodymium laser fencing surrounding the property."

"They'll never allow a strike force into Malta," Phil pointed out. "Plus, this weekend, Quinn worldwide's got its annual shareholders gathering. We'd risk global outrage, but--"

"If we go in alone--" May began.

"SHIELD can disavow us, claim ignorance," he concluded.

"Without a man inside, it's impossible, unless you're immune to pulse laser emissions," May said.

"I feel like we should already have some tech for that, but I searched it and came up with nothing," you added.

"If we had a monkey, we could get in," Fitz interjected seriously.

"Ugh, Fitz!" Simmons groaned, throwing her hand into the air.

"If we had a small monkey, he could slip through the sensors and disable the fence's power source with his adorable little hands," he continued nonetheless.

"I could go in," Skye said, barely looking up from her phone.

"Now there's an idea," you agreed, understanding exactly what she meant in an instant.

"Drop me in the hills outside of Valletta," Ward said, ignoring his trainee. "I'll spend a few weeks establishing a cover, gathering intel--"

"Hall doesn't have a few weeks," Phil interrupted.

"And to restate, any Agent of SHIELD caught on Maltese soil can be shot to death with bullets," Simmons recited.

"Yeah," Fitz agreed.

"Legally."

"What else would they shoot us with?" you asked. "Blasters from the Star Wars set?"

"Actually, that kind of tech is far--"

"Not me. I could go in," Skye offered once again, this time putting down her phone and advancing towards the rest of the group.

"Skye, this is serious," Ward dismissed her patronizingly.

"She is being serious," you said.

"Wait," your father said, approaching Skye. "What are you saying?"

"Well, I'm not an Agent of SHIELD, so I can go in without breaking all these stupid rules," she stated simply, returning to typing on her phone.

"International laws," Simmons corrected.

"This isn't something the Rising Tide can hack, Skye," Ward tried to shoot her down.

"Will you shut up and listen to her?" you demanded. "She has a point." Of course, no one bothered to listen.

"Did you hear the deadly lasers part?" Fitz worried, pressing his fingers to the sides of his head. "Without a brave monkey--"

"You said you could go in with a man inside," Skye said.

"And you want to be that man?" May asked.

"Woman, but okay," you shrugged.

Skye shrugged as well. "Fitz-Simmons loved the guy, and he needs help. They could be torturing him, or worse," she made pointed eye contact with Ward before typing some more on her phone, "making him do strength-training."

"But you don't have the background or clearance or experience with any of this," Ward argued frustratedly.

"I know," she said, showing off what she had been pulling up on her phone. "But I've got an invitation."

"Like I said, she's got a point," you reiterated.

"Well, technically, it's an e-vite," Skye smirked.

"I understand your concern, but we don't have a lot of options," your father told Ward honestly, sitting back behind his desk.

"Hey, I'm impressed," Ward admitted. "She just wrangled an invitation on her phone using insider back-channel voodoo in minutes. But sending her in with no training, you're taking a huge risk."

"That's kind of what SHIELD is about, isn't' it?" you asked from your place in one of the swivel chairs. "If we don't take risks, then more often than not, more people get hurt than would have been in the first place."

Ward sighed. "I know Director Fury felt he owed you after you sacrificed yourself--"

"And my card collection," Phil sniffed. You grunted angrily in agreement.

"--and after he let your daughter believe that you were dead. He gave you some autonomy, but Skye on a covert op?"

"Are you worried about her safety or her loyalty?" the elder Coulson questioned.

"Both," Ward said. "The Rising Tide is the reason she got an invite. Who knows how many protocols she violated?"

"That's her job," Phil reminded him. "Ignore protocol, find connections and backdoors that nobody else can see. Something else is bothering you."

Ward paused. "She's holding back, sir. She says she wants to be an Agent, but she won't commit. She doesn't listen, makes jokes."

"Believe it or not, Agent Ward, some people are just like that," you said. "You've held a conversation with me before, and Skye really isn't all that much different."

"You have a cause you're fighting for with us. That's the difference between you and Skye; you really believe in SHIELD and what it works toward," Ward said. "I don't know how to give her that cause."

"Were you hard on her?" Phil asked.

"Sure. I tried playing nice, too," Ward said. "I need a new strategy."

"Try no strategy," your father shrugged.

"Not all people are battlefields," you added.

"Stop thinking like an operative, start thinking like a person. Maybe Skye will let that person help her."

"Help her what?" he asked.

"Help her think like an operative."

"And leave the cause-giving to me," you smiled.

#Agent Coulson #agents of shield #marvel's agents of SHIELD #agents of SHIELD season 1 #agents of shield x reader #Phil Coulson #dad phil coulson #dad agent coulson #Daisy Johnson #melinda may #skye #leo fitz #fitz simmons #jemma simmons #grant ward #(Y/N) coulson

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crystalracing · 6 years ago

Link

Kimi Raikkonen 2008: Connecting the "dots"

September 10, 2013 UPDATE: Today, Ferrari announced Kimi's re-signing for 2014 F1 season as a SF driver. In many ways this is a confirmation of what we have been saying all along that Kimi's ousting at the end of his first stint took place under a totally unusual circumstances which had nothing to do with his racing and driving abilities.

I'll continue to update this documentary blog as new information becomes available but judging from the visitor traffic to this blog a lot of people are now even more curious as to why would Ferrari re-employ Kimi if in fact all those reasons and justifications to fire him were true... So, my guess is that we'll continue to learn a lot more about the details of 2008 events as the insiders continue to talk (they always do...). We'll keep this documentary blog as an example of a Hall of Shame Piece for Formula One Journalists who have been either sleeping on the job or too scared to expose/talk about what goes on behind close doors...

This is the working version of the article "

Why Kimi was not on top of his game in 2008"

-- the original was published in AS forum and F1Bias.com (Soren is a good friend).

Dates of events in the following timeline are important, because according to official Ferrari, or Santander accounts, and timelines most of the following did NOT take place in 2008, but in 2009.

You may read all original articles in this blog in their timeline order (starting from the bottom on the main page, all articles are posted under their original 2008 dates).

Why Kimi was not on top of his game in 2008

by wrcva

The period between April-July 2008 is probably one of the worst periods not only for Kimi’s F1 career but probably in his life. All his life he and his family believed in hard work and doing their best to achieve good things on merit. In Kimi’s case this means putting his natural talents to best use in performing, and winning races.

2007 season was a dream come true year for Kimi. He won the closely fought Formula One (F1) World Drivers Championship (WDC) and was ready for defending his title in 2008. From all indications outlook for the 2008 season was pretty good, arguably conditions were even better than the 2007 season for Kimi to defend his title.

Backdrop for 2008:

As of April, Kimi Raikkonen is already leading in WDC points 4 races into the 2008 season. Generally, life is good other than the management changes that took place at Ferrari as

Stefano Domenicali

replaced

Jean Todt

as the head of Scuderia Ferrari the 1st of January 2008. It's no secret that Todt and

Luca di Montezemolo

(LdM)

had a power struggle within Ferrari, something which lead to Todt'd eventual and swift exit. With Todt effectively out of the way from early 2008 and Domenicali, di Montezemolo's protege, in his place it was basically a different Scuderia overnight

(thanks to OSX).

"In 2007, [Todt] prepared the ground for Stefano Domenicali to succeed him as head of the Scuderia as from 1 January 2008. Then, on 18 March 2008, he resigned his position as Special Advisor to the Ferrari board, to be replaced by Amedeo Felisa. He nonetheless remained a member of the board of Ferrari for a further year before resigning all his functions within the Italian firm in March 2009."

April 27, 2008

-- FIA post-race press conf after winning Spain —

Kimi –

“It was a perfect weekend for us in Barcelona,” explained Raikkonen. “We were going really fast all the time and we didn’t have the slightest problem. Many times I have won and afterwards still had the feeling that it could have gone better. This time I did not have that feeling: this was probably the best weekend I’ve ever had in my career.”

Comment

: The guy won Spain just several days ago… then, all of a sudden Public Relations (PR) seed planting & “rumors” kick in. It is not clear who started them but the mission was to melt the iceman because it would be terrible PR to get rid of a 2 times WDC, in the event that he managed to win the 2nd one in 2008.

In the following, partially narrated timeline, I tried to put the main news item with the earliest approx. date of first showing up (in google news based on article posting date) out of 100s or 1000s regurgitated ones for each article. They give a good glimpse into what was in Kimi’s mind as he was facing a psychological PR war, aside from racing issues during 2008.

May 1, 2008

–

Luca di Montezemolo:

Massa’s future with the team is secure. It will be too damaging to partner Alonso with Kimi.

Keke Rosberg:

Kimi has to make way for Alonso…

Stefano Domenicali:

Kimi is motivated from head to toe, and I know he is not thinking about retiring.“

here

Comment

: You can tell that they have been talking about Santander coming in as the new long term sponsor but the plan is to not to talk about it externally… This is the first time appearance of Kimi’s “motivation” by Domenicali. It is not yet used in a negative way but it is a crucial PR keyword because at this point they cannot start talking about Kimi’s performance as he is in the lead. But, this is point the decision has been made that

Kimi has to go

. Also note the disconnect between LdM & Dom’s statements. Yes, the date is correct - May 1 2008, and Ferrari leaders are are forced to answer questions about the driver line-up, Kimi's motivation, and retirement rumors instead of talking about their win of Spanish GP several days ago.

May 8, 2008

– Niki Lauda scoffs at Alonso-to-Ferrari rumours —

"Raikkonen and Alonso together?"

former triple Formula One World Champion Lauda, 58, is quoted as saying by the German news agency DPA.

"Last year Raikkonen was champion and now he is number one. Why must we now discuss whether Alonso is going to go there?"

the great Austrian wondered.

"They already have the perfect team with Massa, so why should they bang their heads together?"

Lauda, who won two (1975, 1977) of his drivers' world titles with the Maranello based team, added.

Comment

: Hearing all kinds of rumors, Lauda is wondering WTF is going on at Ferrari as they seem to have one of the best line-ups for defending the championships they won with Kimi just six months ago... He is a racer and he simply is thinking about these rumors from the racing perspective as to why the team would change their existing WDC/WCC wining line-up... but what he does not know is that the seed is already planted about a month ago when

Emilio Botin, Fernando Alonso and Flavio Briatore

(Renault boss and Alonso's manager)

, and

Luca di Montezemolo

got together to discuss

Santander/Alonso Ferrari move

(April, 21 2008). Interestingly, the next day

Montezemolo (April, 22 2008)

, and subsequently

Briatore (April, 24 2008)

both denied the rumor

Briatore agreeing with Montezemolo that.

"When a team has two drivers equally good, the teammates become their biggest enemies. Pilots as Raikkonen and Alonso are complicated and put them in one team does not produce the best result for a team. During the last year, see the McLaren. Hamilton and Alonso lost the championship and the reason was simply because of their rivalry." -- link

So, by the first week of May 2008 Santander-Alonso-Ferrari plans were already in motion. From this point on Ferrari's challenge is to manage the situation with the media and fans to make sure Kimi is phased out of Ferrari with minimal negative publicity for Ferrari for getting rid of their World Champion.

May 24, 2008

– Alonso signs for Ferrari —

The word in the F1 paddock in Monte Carlo is that Fernando Alonso has just inked a deal to drive for Ferrari in 2010. No confirmation is expected for a year, and there may be denials of any arrangement, as there would obviously be some serious knock-on effects for other parties in the F1 paddock.

here

Comment

: Spanish press is going nuts over this as well at this time.. You can use google news with date filters if you want to see for yourself. Emphasis:

do not confirm and deny until next year

— which they did…

June 6, 2008

– FIA interview —

Kimi: “

I still have a contract until the end of next year,” Raikkonen said during the press conference ahead of the Canadian Grand Prix at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve on Thursday. “I haven’t made any decision as to whether I will keep going or not. That’s the last contract I have and we will wait and see during this year and next year what happens.” “I haven’t made my mind up and we will see.”

"I like the racing and the other stuff is not always the best thing... When there's too many things that you don't enjoy, or you think that the whole thing is not what you want any more, then it's time to go away.

Comment

: (this is the GP Hamilton rear ended Kimi) — why would this contract issue come up in the FIA press conference? You can tell internal discussions about his departure is well underway. Yet, we are only 7 races into the season…

July 10, 2008

– German magazine Sport Bild

According to popular German magazine Sport Bild, it would seem that Spanish bank Santander would be moving from sponsoring McLaren to become one of Ferrari’s top sponsors from 2009 onwards. The big bank would have their adverts on the front and rear wings, alongside lettering on the drivers overalls. Ferrari have been touting for a new top sponsor since cigarette advertisers were not allowed in many countries, Marlboro being the major backer for many years. With a contract with Marlboro still in place, hash markings would still be on the cars. For the Scuderia though, Santander have said the major condition of their deal is that former World Champion Fernando Alonso would drive for the team. He won’t confirm his future, and will not comment until September.

here

Comment

Santander-Ferrari-Alonso deal is done at this time but negotiations with Kimi are in full force. Look at the desired date for the sponsorship… Now, how did Alonso come up with that

September

date, unless he red Kimi’s contract, and is familiar with the performance / and renewal options Kimi could exercise? I think that is an accidental slip up by the Spaniard because the September date was significant only to Kimi’s contract. He cannot comment on what will happen because they do not know what Kimi will do yet – as Ferrari is still negotiating! (see Sep 12 news, in the following).

July 11-19, 2008

-- Kimi's front suspension is updated sometime between these dates..

According to Interview with Ferrari team principle Domenicali on December 16 2008, this is the point Kimi lost his front suspension. From all indications this was a surprise to Kimi, given how sensitive he is to changes made on the car.

Question to Domenicali by Autosprint:

Did Kimi share his problems with you? - We always talk with each other and argue about general technical issues. From the technical point of view he was dissatisfied with front suspension, and it didn't work the way he wanted. The front suspension to suit him was a recurrent topic of our discussions. How fast did you discover that? - In midseason. We changed the suspension in Germany and returned it for Kimi in Monza.

In this interview Domenicali misspoke. Kimi got his old suspension back in Singapore, not Monza. This issue is also alluded to by Michael Scumacher who is in charge of car development and updates:

“In a way it is his (Kimi's) strength that he has a very focused vision, and maybe sometimes it doesn't always help him. We could maybe help him more if he would ask for it,”

said Schumacher in an interview for BBC earlier yesterday. The German insisted that part of Kimi's loss in form in the second part of the season was because the Fin failed to adapt to the new developments introduced by Ferrari in the mid-season. “I think I have to protect him in many ways, because in the middle of the season we made some developments to the car but Kimi simply didn't get on with these ones. The moment we went back to those changes, we got him back to competitive lap times," link

Here, if we look at the WDC points table, from mid-July to the end of September Kimi was able to score only 9 points in 6 GPs. Surely, there was some bad luck involved as well...

July 20 2008

-- FIA -

German Grand Prix

Post Race driver quotes:

Look at Kimi's reaction in the interview in his own words:

"This was definitely not the kind of race we had been hoping for. We have struggled all weekend and we have to try and understand why. Usually, our race pace is always good, but today that was not the case, because I almost always suffered with a lack of grip: only in the final stages did the situation improve a little bit, but it was never enough to be competitive. We have a test in Jerez, where we will try and improve the car so as to arrive in Budapest in better shape. This is definitely not a crisis, but we have to study carefully the handling of the car to understand if we have taken the right road in terms of development." Source: http://www.formula1.com/news/headlines/2008/7/8126.html

Comment

: Mr. Schumacher definitely knew what was the deal but maybe he did not have a chance to inform Kimi that his front suspension was totally different for the German GP... This also amplifies the communication and turf problems between Domenicali and Schumacher.

Now, imagine or try to visualize what would Schumacher himself (as a driver) or Alonso would have done after learning the fact that their front suspension was replaced without their knowledge or they were not invited to driver debriefs... not a pretty picture huh.

Interestingly, Schumacher made another comment back in early April about Massa with a prediction. At the time, it was not a big deal but hindsight his support for Massa, and willingness to predict his WDC chances, given his 3rd and development driver role for Ferrari, further supports the timeline that he knew a bit more...

"He (Massa) has zero points for the season, so it is not the best of starts ... he has played his jokers so far, and doesn't really have any more jokers to play,"

"But things will turn around very quickly I think in his favour. He is certainly still very capable of winning the championship this year.

"If Massa wins the championship at the end of the year, nobody will care or remember about the start of the season." (link)

July 31, 2008

– FIA Thursday press conference - Hungary

Question: People are talking about you retiring, not necessarily at the end of this year but at the end of next year. Are there any thoughts on that?

KR:

I never said anything like that. I only said that I have a contract until the end of next year and then somebody made up that I will stop at the end of this year or the end of next year, but I never said that.

here

Comment

: Guess who is propagating retirement rumors? This is a pretty major PR war against Kimi… and they are wearing him out. You know, all by itself, it is pretty hard to fight for the WDC – even when you have full support from the team…

Aug 24, 2008

– FIA post-race press con –

Massa: “My win in Valencia moves me ahead of Kimi into second place in the championship. I’ve been asked if I feel Ferrari should favour me for the title since there are just six races remaining. All I can say is that I want to keep winning, to keep beating not just my teammate (Kimi Raikkonen) but others too,” Massa was quoted as saying on the Ferrari website. The Brazilian, who is on 64 points, six behind the leader Lewis Hamilton, further added that he has got nothing to do with such decisions. “I just do the best possible job for the team and leave the rest to the management,” he added.

Raikkonen is third on the table with 57 points. Meanwhile, Kimi has rubbished the claim that he lacks motivation.“Next week, we will go to Spa (venue of the next Grand Prix). I love this track. I will give it all to win again. If someone has doubt as far as my motivation is concerned: go ahead. I want to win. More than ever,” he said on the Ferrari website.

Comment

: Since April, Kimi’s lack of motivation stories have been propagating into millions of articles, blog and forum posts. (Google is your friend). Motivation is the keyword because they still cannot talk about performance…

Sep 12, 2008

– Ferrari confirm Raikkonen to end of 2010 —

Ferrari have announced an extension to Kimi Raikkonen’s contract for a further two seasons, keeping the world champion with the Italian team until the end of 2010. With Raikkonen’s teammate Felipe Massa also under contract for that period, it means Ferrari’s race line-up will remain unchanged until at least the start of their 2011 campaign. Raikkonen joined Ferrari from McLaren last season, while Massa has been with the team since 2006. The announcement should end media speculation suggesting that Raikkonen may retire at the end of this season.

here

Comment

: This is the automatic contract renewal option Kimi is exercising to increase the Santander/Ferrari payout based on exceeding his performance benchmarks on his contract. He knows he is done with Ferrari… and if he could find a way, he could have left by the end of 2008. He is loosing the PR war, but trying to secure finances in negotiations. I also think this is the point that Kimi's generally cooperative relationship with LdM went south. (read about

Kimi's contract

)

Sep 12, 2008

– Alonso "Kimi deal has no impact"

Fernando Alonso insists that Kimi Raikkonen's extended Ferrari deal has not put a dent in his plans for the future. Ferrari announced on Friday that Raikkonen had extended his contract and would remain with the Scuderia until the end of 2010.

This put an end to reports that Alonso could be heading to Ferrari at the end of 2009.

However, the Spaniard insists those were just rumours and that Raikkonen's deal has not upset his future plans.

"I knew already that they will extend the contract," he told Autosport. "Nothing has changed. "Talking about 2010 and 2011 is way too far for me. I want to win before that! "Always my plans were more focused on 2009 and in 2009 there was no possibility of Ferrari so it was never in my plans." It remains to be seen which team Alonso will race for next season as while Renault are keen to retain their double world champion, Honda are also reportedly on the look-out to sign him.

here

Comment

: Alonso knew Kimi had to exercise the automatic contract renewal option after negotiations with Santander failed... I guess he could not convince Botin to pay up Kimi to walk at the end of 2008, so he could move to Ferrari starting 2009. It is interesting that Kimi's contract renewal announcement date is the same date as Alonso's statement: September 12 2008.

I also think between July and September 2008 Santander explored various possibilities to get McLaren let them off the hook from the exclusivity clause in the old Santander-McLaren sponsorship agreement but their attempts were unsuccessful (probably Ron asked for a lot of money). If that took place Santander could have started their Ferrari sponsorship a year earlier. So, during this period (until September) Kimi was waiting to see if he would be able to end his relationship with Ferrari at the end of 2008.

Sep 14, 2008

– FIA post race int. Monza —

Raikkonen. “

You don’t have to be Einstein to understand that this is not the right way to fight for the title. It’s not over yet, but now it will take a miracle, like one that makes lightning strike twice

.”

Comment

: He is not just talking about racing here. Even though he is still within the mathematical possibility with 4 races left in the calendar (he is 20 pts behind Massa, and yet that still is better odds than 2007); he is up to his neck in the swamp trying to fight/fend off elegators on multiple fronts:

Santander/Ferrari lawyers…

His relationship with Schumacher. It was never emphasized in 2008 but I think it was a very significant issue. For 2008, Michael’s role was, per LdM: “official 3rd driver, in charge of car development.” See footnote 1 (and check out Michael’s Ferrari and wiki profile for his role in 2008). Kimi did not like this at all because Michael was in charge of something (the car itself) that he had been used to controlling/influencing all his career. Link

Pressure from LdM and Dom to help out Massa because if Massa wins the 2008 WDC, Santander will be thrilled given their upcoming 2009 IPO in Brazil. In my opinion, Dom or LdM never mandated this, but they highly encouraged Kimi to fall back because financial implications for Santander, the future sponsor, was in Billions of $. (not Millions, it is Billions) And because Massa is a native son of Brazil who can mobilize local investors even better than Alonso. here. In the end, Santander’s IPO gains were about $9 Billion. See footnote 2. Note: IPO means Initial Public Offering. Or the stock market launch for that company. In this case, in Brazil. Click on this link to read about the inportance of Brazil to Santander.

Sep 24, 2008 - Pitpass –

Spanish media is claiming that Ferrari’s recent decision to re-sign Kimi Raikkonen until the end of 2010, is a smokescreen, aimed at putting everyone off the real story, which sees Fernando Alonso heading to Maranello as early as next year. Spanish newspaper Marca claims that Santander, which headed to McLaren with Fernando Alonso in 2007, is behind a move which will see the two-time champion join Felipe Massa. The Spanish banking giant is due to take its account to Ferrari next year, and, having lost out when Alonso quit McLaren after just one season, wants its national hero back on board and in a winning (red) car. It’s claimed that the bank will not only meet Alonso’s financial requirements but will also meet any compensation demanded by Raikkonen.

It is fair to say that the announcement that Raikkonen is to stay with Ferrari for two more years caught many by surprise, especially since the Finn appears to have lost his sparkle in recent months, a situation not helped by the fact that he is now almost certain – barring a miracle recovery – of having to play second fiddle to his Brazilian teammate. While several teams, most notably Honda, have been wooing Alonso, the Spaniard needs to be back in a winning car, and other than BMW – which is backed by Santander’s rival Credit Suisse – Ferrari appears to be the only option.

Comment

: Looks like negotiations for buying out 2009 failed, probably to Kimi’s dismay — from here on it is a Cold War within the team and

Kimi is the unofficial #2

by corporate decision because they still need to ramp up Massa’s standing in Brasil for the upcoming IPO.

The only thing they could not foresee was Massa’s accident in 2009. Kimi’s departure was a done deal as early as May, 25 2008, latest Sep 14 2008. They just had to make sure he did not accidently win 2008 WDC as Ferrari would have looked really stupid… Very curious about that pit screw up in Monaco, if it was real or orchestrated because this is where it all started, it is a milestone event for things starting to go wrong for Kimi for the rest of the year, along with some unlucky situations.

May 25, 2008 FIA post race Monaco — Kimi “A very poor race for me, right from the off. There was a problem with a wheel before the start and we broke the rules, which meant I was given a drive-through penalty. During the race, my main problem was trying to get the tyres to work as well as possible. Then we decided to change the strategy as we expected it to rain again, but it didn’t happen. Twice I had to change the nose after breaking the front wing. So, as you can see, a long run of things going wrong which explains the 0 points. I am sorry for Sutil, who I hit with just a few laps to go. I lost control of the car under braking coming out of the tunnel and I could do nothing to avoid him. It’s a shame how things went today, as we had the potential to do well. It’s true that I’ve lost the championship lead, but I always said the championship would be a very long one. Now we must prepare as well as possible for Canada where we will try to make up for this disappointment.”

That is why, Kimi always said;

“There are many reasons. In F1 there is always a lot of money and there can always be different options. That’s what happened in the end. It’s nothing to do with racing or what I do in the team.”

In short, Kimi was in the wrong team, at the wrong time stuck between Ferrari and future sponsor Santander, because he had the wrong nationality (the Latin lineup), relative to Santander’s business plans, and Ferrari’s role within.

January, 13 2009

-- Ferrari approves of Kimi's rally outing --

Ferrari has no problem with Kimi Räikkönen contesting Finland's famous Arctic Lapland Rally later this month, team boss Stefano Domenicali has insisted.

Formula one teams often baulk at drivers' requests to engage in dangerous off-season activities, but it emerged last week that Räikkönen, the team's title winner of 2007, has entered himself as the driver of a Fiat Abarth S2000 in the event later this month.

"This is the traditional attitude we take to our drivers," Domenicali said at the launch of the team's new 'F60' single seater for 2009.

"We always try to have a very open attitude to what they do. I see this as an extra two days of testing for Kimi."

here

Comment

: Why change of heart by Ferrari after two years with Kimi, all of a sudden approving a "dangerous sporting activity" for Kimi? Because that was a part of

Kimi's separation negotiations

back in September that he will be allowed to participate in whatever sports activity he desired, including rallying. Domenicali is referring to Michael's soccer activities in "We always try to have a very open attitude to what they do."

Possible reality is they are no longer concerned about Kimi or whatever happens to him as he is on his way out. Again, note the dates...

Now, let's fast forward to September 2009...

September 14 2009

-- Formula1.com - Q&A with Ferrari’s Stefano Domenicali--

Formula1.com Q&A with Ferrari’s Stefano Domenicali

Q: After all the rumours it would be helpful to hear one word from you regarding Kimi’s future. Is Kimi driving a Ferrari in 2010?

SD:

I am definitely not going to discuss that now. As everybody is aware, Kimi has a contract with us next year and I am very happy with his performance because he is driving very, very well, especially in the second part of the season. The last five races he has always been on the podium and I think after Barrichello he has scored the most points, so he has shown true qualities of fighting for the championship. That is our position

Comment:

So, Kimi's ousting is not officially announced yet...but the new contract was already signed and sealed about a year ago, back in Sep 2008 that;

Option 1) 2 year full pay (2010+severance) provided he walked away from F1 for 1.5 years.

Option 2) 1 years pay (2010) + some severance + get the McLaren seat.

As we know Kimi took option 2 - you can read more about this

here

December 11 2009

-- SportsPro discussion interview --

The following snippets are one of the few direct mentions of Massa's role within the Santander world from Mr. Cendoya, who is the Senior Executive Vice President in charge of Communications, Corporate Marketing and Research for Santander Bank (Mr. Botin's number 2 guy for sponsorship affairs)

... Cendoya is understandably reluctant to place the bank in the pecking order of Ferrari sponsors and says simply: In Ferrari, we are on the podium and the podium is a very good place to be. Ferrari has a process and they are going to announce the car and image later on. We are a main sponsor; we are not a title sponsor. I cannot say more... ... Cendoya rightly points out that Santander is not in charge of driver selection and intriguingly suggests that, for example, the commercial appeal of current Ferrari driver Felipe Massa might be an effective way of growing the brand worldwide the implication being that, even with Alonso on board, the bank's popularity might only increase in Spain by one or two percentage points, whereas the potential gains in other markets are significantly greater. Cendoya says it is all about creating an emotional link between potential new customers and the bank. How many Spanish people, for example, are today very happy because we are with Ferrari? I don't know, but in my opinion a lot because I received more than 700 emails giving felicitations for this agreement. Every employee in our bank can guess a figure but it could be 10 million. In Brazil there are 50 million fans of Formula One, 80 per cent of them are Ferrari fans and they now feel happy and proud of being part of the Santander group (source article:: Sport is playing its part in the Santander story).

This SprortsPro article is very telling about why Kimi had to go without mentioning his name even once. Mr. Cendoya further states;

Cendoya makes clear, a cold, rational business decision, just as was the decision to sponsor McLaren three years ago. We started at the McLaren team, with an English pilot and a Spanish pilot at the beginning. We had a low presence in the team but we paid a lot of attention to every penny, peseta, euro that we were spending. We don't give money away. We have given a lot of attention over the last 100 years to caring for the money of our shareholders.

Comment

: This article also sheds light into Massa's continued presence at Ferrari without results (read update on this here). His presence alone is enough to produce the expected

Return On Investment

(ROI) at the levels that are even better than what Alonso is able to generate as a Spaniard. Santader's ROI does not even depend on Alonso or Massa winning races. Given their demographics they have enough appeal in the Latino world to satisfy Santander's financial expectations by just driving the red cars around to boost credit card, insurance, other financial instrument sales as well as merchandising.

What is a bit hard to understand is how the journos/media could not connect these dots to show what really went on in 2008. You do not have to do any major investigation because pretty much everything is in the public domain. While we understand commercial pressures on the racing business, 2008-9 was anything but sporting for Ferrari. They should have just let him go after 2007 instead of playing all kinds of games, and engaging in a PR war to give it an appearance of performance problems.

I suspect, even Massa will not bet against Kimi’s performance this year, or when he appeared to beat him back in 2008-9 as he knows what the deal was relative to his role within the Santander world. I think Kimi understood the business aspect of the issues, and in line with his character never washed any dirty Ferrari laundry in public. Yes, he did have several unlucky situations but his fate was already signed and sealed mid season 2008 purely for business reasons. 2009 was essentially continuation of the 2008 theatrics until Massa’s accident. On another front, almost identical scenario (to Santander-Massa-Brasil situation) is in play for Perez in a Santander sponsored car (Ferrari or McLaren) — Perez-Santander-Mexico, from the same playbook.

November 8 2012

-- Spanish sports newspaper Marca --

Asked by the Spanish sports newspaper Marca to recall his memories of racing for F1′s most famous team Ferrari, Raikkonen answered: “Neither good nor bad.“

I won a title with them and had some good times. I am satisfied with the three years I spent there.

“I don’t miss anyone,” he admitted. “To me, leaving there (Ferrari) was a relief.“

The situation could have been better, but it’s the past and what is done cannot be reversed,” said Raikkonen.

“Things don’t last long if you’re working somewhere and the relations are not good.”

He explained that, in contrast, he enjoys working with Lotus.

“I felt good from the start,”said Raikkonen. “

People work hard and calmly, but they want to win and the sport and the technical sides come before the politics.” --

Source

December, 4 2012

Mercopress.com

For Spain’s Santander bank Brazil is number one and ‘absolute preference’

Emilio Botin chairman of Santander Bank, the leading financial institution in Spain and among the top largest in the European Union said in Sao Paulo that Brazil is the “number one country in Latin America” and the absolute preference of his institution...

read full article

Footnotes:

1) As to how things evolved with the car I am not totally sure, but the person who had a front seat was Chris Dyer. In the following quote, he is reflecting on 2008 season.

“We had a tough and hard season but Kimi did exactly the right thing within the team and everyone respected what he did and how he reacted to this situation. We had a fantastic car but unfortunately we made mistakes when thinking about what’s best for our driver (Raikkonen).”

I believe the "situation" he is talking about is the Ferrari corporate decision to support Massa – not exactly sure when, but possibly Sep 24. (Kimi was told that they have to let Massa contest the 2008 championship because they are stuck with this request from Santander).

I think

“we made mistakes when thinking about what’s best for our driver”

bit is referring to Michael Schumacher, because Michael wanted Massa to be the official feedback/debrief driver sometime around Monaco. I think all of Michael’s initiatives were well intentioned organizational efficiency related enhancements trying to help Ferrari without favoring any driver but because he was closer to Massa probably Massa benefited more from them.

The other issue was the infamous suspension change that was introduced mid-season, again by Michael's planning and directives. It was a unilateral action by him as he was trying to improve the car.

link

If you recall, recently Kimi said there was only one person at Ferrari he did not like… he did not name that person but I believe it is Michael, because Michael was officially in charge of the car. I think he was/is on good terms with Domenicali and Luca di Montezemolo (LdM) because he understood the Ferrari business situation that he could not control but Michael was in charge of something (the car itself) he has been used to controlling all his career. In any event, this area – Michael’s role — needs more research because it is mostly opinions. I suspect Dyer will talk or imply after his departure mid year.

2) Massa was at the right place, at the right time and with the right Sponsor, given his nationality. In fact Botin personally made sure

Massa was taken care of

even before the 2010 Ferrari sponsorship started:

Massa-“I’m glad to get this support from Santander. Lately I met President Emilio Botin twice and he is absolutely excited about the potential of the Brazilian market…

Being Brazilian, going into the IPO Massa became the

brand ambassador for the bank

(read the last paragraph in the link relative to the date of the article. Alonso was supposed to be in the list but not Massa, on that date) sometime during the summer of 2009, well before Santander-Ferrari relationship kicked in on Jan 1, 2010 (Alonso had been the brand ambassador for Spain for a while). This was a direct Massa-Santander payroll relationship ~$5-7M per year.

Fast forward to Nov 2011,

Botin decided to personally fire him

because he was upset with Massa for the results of 2010/2011 seasons. To understand the importance of Latin America to Santander, just look at their annual reports. So, to those who have been wondering why Massa has been with Ferrari despite underperforming? Because his nationality has been more important than his performance. And remember this stuff was not supposed to take place prior to Jan 1, 2010.

Global recession further increased the importance of Brazil

for Santander as they are desparately looking for new markets to offset losses in Spain. Therefore, they couldn't afford to drop Massa despite his not so stellar performance between 2010-2012, so they had to renew his contract.

This area could use some more research – journos: talk to some ex employee perhaps…

Posted 10th September 2013 by wrcva canvass

#Kimi Raikkonen #ferrari #raikkonen #Scuderia Ferrari #F1 #fernando alonso #Felipe Massa #Massa

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