#Striped Sun Flower

[a-leg-without-fear]

Heartbeats

started watching xmen '97 and seeing logan standing in the doorway of jean's hospital room, watching jean and scott be happy parents together, gave me parasites like you wouldn't BELIEVE. enjoy the tender, calm moment shared between you and logan after giving birth

Ship: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Rating: E for Everyone

Wordcount: 522

Warnings: birth, pregnancy, hospital visit, and hoLY SHIT I'M CRYING THIS IS SO CUTE

The steady beat of a heart rate monitor was the only sound that filled the calm silence. Smooth, even, computerized beeps that tracked your pulse, consistently relaxed in their beat. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Logan breathed a content sigh into the crown of your head, stirring the hair he had brushed not two hours ago. The strands were tangled loosely in his beard and tickled along his chin. He smoothed his palm along your bare arm. Rough calluses passing over once sweat-soaked skin.

You stirred slightly against his flannel-clad chest. Shoulders, clothed in a hospital gown, burrowed against him. He could practically feel the groan of your sore muscles under your skin. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breath breezing across the stubble under Logan’s jaw.

He let his eyes fall open. Dimmed fluorescent lights bathed the hospital room in a dull, white glow. Shiny linoleum floors reflected the rising sun streaking through the wall-length windows. Vases of flowers, all your favorite kind and color, sat on the windowsill, petals practically glowing in the sunrise.

The TV nestled in the upper hand corner of the room was still on. Blessedly silent, as Logan had muted it once you’d fallen asleep, yet still playing a collection of your favorite movies on repeat. He chuckled quietly while remembering how insistent Jean had been about getting the nurses to play the discs she’d shoved into their hands.

Logan’s gaze shifted from scanning around the room to the bundle you held to your chest. A thick, heavenly soft hospital blanket was bunched in stripes of blue and green. The cloth rose and fell with your deep breathing.

Tucked away inside the blanket cocoon was the result of the fifteen hour labor you’d just endured. Eyes too big for her tiny head squeezed shut, small hands tucked against her chest under the swaddle, mop of dark curls brushed along her scalp. Quick heartbeats pumped life through her bite-sized body.

April Saige Howlett. Born at seven pounds, ten ounces. All the fingers and toes a baby could need just where they should be. Completely healthy, with bright, hazel eyes set under a deep brow bone. 

A warm hum rumbled in Logan’s chest. The two people most important to him were cradled in his arms. You, his exhausted wife, and April, his newborn daughter.

Daughter.

The word sounded foreign to him. 

Not once had he ever imagined this kind of happiness for himself. Never would have pictured himself propped up in your hospital bed, chin resting on your head, arms embracing the love, now loves, of his life. Steady beeps coming from the heart rate monitor, flashes of bright colors on the TV, the calming scent of dozens of flowers floating in the air.

He pressed a soft kiss into your hair. Warmth bloomed in his chest like a blossoming rose. Petals of light and peace drifting through his blood, leaving him utterly enraptured by the world held in his arms.

Logan closed his eyes, cheek resting on the top of your head, as he let himself drift off into the first tranquil sleep of his long life.

i'm crying now

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[amourrs]

18+ only, implied brat ellie? absolutely no plot just smut with a vague theme and yapping…

pondering the thought of birthday sex with ellie, specifically in the morning when she’s just itching with anticipation. the sun’s ascendant, though at present shrouded, making the whole episode feel more hush-hush. you could even consider it a smidge covert, the way the moment’s kept for your eyes (and other senses) only as her silklike lips trail brazenly up the expanse of your flesh, pearlescent in the maiden light of dawn that spills liquidly through the open curtains. she’d forgotten to close them last night, but now the mishap works in her favour, illuminating your skin as she indents her teeth into it, watches it spring back whilst leaving the ridges of her molars behind. marking you up, running her thumb over the crescents like a prayer.

she continues to traverse a path, tongue abrading the spots she hits as a sorry attempt at soothing the irritation until a particularly harsh nip tugs at a cord in your brain, pulling you from that sweet dreamscape you’d been so happily enjoying just to realise that a better alternative is being offered up to you on a silver platter. you moan, an asseveration of your returned desires as your fingers wind into her hair, a tangled mane-like lattice that silks into soft order as you run your digits through it. her name passes your lips as she grins into your clavicle, mouth wandering down further as her hand reaches into her hair and she interlinks her fingers with yours. like this, she’s all sweetness, no salt, if you’ll pardon the shoddy wordplay— an event that’s not so frequent, so you savour it the more it occurs. her tongue drags over your navel, dipping into your belly button as you shriek, nails scratching at her face as if to ward her off as the auburnette snickers at you. “m’sorry, babe. couldn’t help it— fuck, happy birthday. ‘s been so hard waiting, had to wake you up. you get it, right?”

you go to make a quick riposte on the topic but it withers in your throat like a flower shredded at the stem when her teeth snag your underwear, ivory mismatched against black lace as she drags them down off your legs in irriation. a hindrance, only serving to camouflage her real object. all thoughts of anything but ellie ellie ellie are whisked from your brain with the long stripe she licks up your cunt and you display as such when you chant her name out, a mantra so soft on her ears that she chuckles into you. the vibrations only serve to make you wetter, the freckled girl’s fingers splaying your folds to reveal your slick to her; you’d presume it was ichor and not arousal with the way she looks on in starved bliss. her tongue travels from your perineum to your entrance, fingers trailing with it, eager to explore as she slides one into you. the smothered squeak from you provides only to enkindle her depravities, second finger joining the first as she hooks them, searching for gold as her mouth lays sloppy kisses over your sensitive bud. she lays it on you like it’s religion, like you’re the priest and she’s the acolyte at the altar, treating this sordid affair like something holy as she rests her head devout and innocent on your thigh as if she’s not desecrating you, devouring you with rapture.

it takes you a minute to notice it at first in your pleasure, but there’s an odd rhythm to the motions of her tongue on your clit. almost as if mapping out a preordained plan— and that’s when it hits you. she’s spelling. squinted eyes and bursts of much spasmodic focus assist you in making out the vague idea of many of the letters; you string them together in your mind and easily piece together the gaps, pushing at her head as you choke down a laugh. “are you— are you seriously spelling happy birthday right now? thought it was more traditional to like, sing that in a song alongside the cake.” your teases get to her, face strawberrying softly at your chuckles as her freckles stand out in soft definition. “okay, well. i did actually make you a cake— don’t worry, dina helped,” an interjection much needed after the look of abject horror plastered across your face, “so. i’ll sing later. right now, kinda in the middle of something. in case you hadn’t noticed.” it’s pointed, the way her mouth nestles back in between your thighs, the aforementioned muscles squeezing tightly around her skull in a way that has her groaning as her tongue flicks out across your clit again. you’re pretty sure you can discern the shape of the A and Y at the end of ‘birthday’ as her digits curl into your walls at the perfect spot, grinding until you see stars and the coil inside your stomach snaps, legs shaking as you ride out your high against your girlfriend’s face. fuckin’ goofball.

happy birthday to one of my all time favourite mutuals, the lovely @astralnymphh — couldn’t hand deliver ellie to your door as a gift, so considered this to be a consolation 🎂♡

[yeoldenews]

A selection of looks from the 18th Century equivalent of the MET Gala (aka The Queen's Drawing Room) in March 1789.

(To help with your mental images - this would have been roughly the court silhouette at the time.)

Queen Charlotte - "Was dressed in purple, silver and orange body and train; the petticoat likewise of purple and silver, richly embroidered upon crape. Her Majesty’s head-dress was the most superb and beautiful that ever appeared at Court. A bandeau of purple sattin was fastened around the cap, with a motto in diamonds of “GOD SAVE THE KING.

Round the Queen’s neck was a medallion, tied with a double row of gold chain, and across her shoulders was another chain of three rows of pearls, and five rows of diamonds fastened low behind, with a fine miniature portrait of the KING, studded with diamonds, hanging in front. The tippet was of fine lace, and fastened with the letter G. in diamonds."

The Duchess of Gordon - "White sattin, superbly spangled in gold, and drawn up with a bandeau of the most costly embroidery, imitating the sun [in] the fullness of its glory. The petticoat was festooned in a beautiful manner with branches of oak."

The Duchess of Devonshire - "A white sattin petticoat most superbly embroidered with wreaths of foil, flowers and stones, the gown of dark green sattin, richly embroidered with spangles; and a most beautiful diamond stomacher."

Lady Lloyd - "A crape petticoat, over one of white sattin, with stripes of purple velvet, ornamented with gold and stones, representing peacock feathers. The train purple, trimmed with crape.

Her Ladyship's cap had a painting, describing Britannia kneeling and offering praises to heaven for the recovery of the King, very richly ornamented with diamonds, blond, flowers, and feathers. In the front, "Dieu nous le rend," (God restores him to us,) embroidered in gold letters."

Mr. Pitt - "A green and rose striped velvet, richly embroidered with gold and silver stones; the waistcoat of white satin, embroidered as the coat."

The Hon. Mr. Edgecumbe - "A blue and brown shaded velvet, most superbly embroidered with diamonds and point lace, with beautiful bouquets of flowers; the waistcoat of white satin, embroidered the same"

Sir John Marriott - "Sea green striped velvet, with gold tissue embroidered waistcoat."

and my personal best dressed -

The Duchess of Rutland (who was making her first appearance at court since the death of her husband) - "The time allotted by the decree of fashion for customary suits of solemn black, and all the trappings of widowed woe, being expired, her Grace, lovely in her person, and attractive in her manners, came forward in all the fullness of splendor, and in imitation of the Heavens when they declare, by a rainbow, that the tears of the sky have stopped, wore a dress of embroidered crape, fashioned in such a manner as to resemble that variegated sign of an unclouded atmosphere. But we are at a loss to find out what was meant by the gold-spangled darts of lightning that appeared through this rainbow, unless that her Grace meant them as emblematical of what her eyes can do, now that the day of weeping’s over. To write, however, in more plain terms, we shall state exactly what her Grace had on. It was an embroidered crape, something in imitation of a rainbow, having variety in its colours, and being ornamented with gold spangles which really appeared like darts of lightning through the crape, and gave it a most superb appearance. Her head-dress of white crape, with a towering branch of ostrich feathers, and the motto of God save the King,  in white and gold."

(source: The Times, March 27, 1789.)

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: you'd never been shy about sharing what you knew about the dead. to hide in plain sight was a decision you'd made behind your mother's back, all while respecting the warning she'd given you those many years ago. because, really, who would believe you?

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

tysm for all the love u guys 😭

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.2

It was the first real day of spring, the sun shining and the breeze warm, and Mathilda had coaxed you and Xavier outside for lunch. You sat in the grass beside the bleachers and were lazily watching the football team run drills when you spotted Maddie and Simon.

They joined you when you waved them over, closing the circle, Maddie beside Xavier and Simon beside her putting him to your left.

You'd seen the way Maddie and Xavier looked at each other, bashful glances and pink cheeks when they thought no one noticed. They'd been cute for each other since you'd gone to the Gorrorcon screening of Grindhouse as a group last month. It was rare that Xavier tagged along for the gory movies, but as soon as you'd mentioned Maddie's name, he hadn't needed much convincing.

While the others chatted idly, your attention drifted, tracking a footballer who appeared to be coaching a boy dressed head to toe in denim. The boy looked uncomfortable on the field, held the football like it was a baby he might drop, and grimaced when the footballer jogged backward a few yards and signaled for the ball.

You knew who they were. Knew you shouldn't be casual about witnessing a moment they thought was theirs. Only, you couldn't help yourself. The footballer was handsome. Not hot or fit or fine. Handsome. With dark, fluffy hair and soulful eyes that you wished softened for you the way Xavier's did for Maddie.

Wally Clark, stadium namesake, died doing what he loved.

Even from afar, you could see the way the muscles in his arms bunched when he tossed the ball, had to wet your lips when his shirt rose to reveal a pale stripe of skin. Instead of the sweatpants he usually donned, he wore shorts that, in different circumstances, would've earned Wally a dress code violation. Barely there, they clung to him like paint on a canvas, accentuating the curve of his ass and thickness of his furry thighs.

Have mercy...

"Leave our sweet flower alone, you know she's saving herself," Mathilda said, pulling your attention back to the conversation happening around you.

The comment she'd responded to had to have been about your virginity. A realization you shook your head at while Mathilda made herself the picture of an angel. It was one of several tactics your friend group employed to violently drag you back to earth whenever your head was in the clouds.

Xavier chuckled and nudged Mathilda's shoulder with his.

"What I miss?" You asked, glancing between the others, still a little dazed by the image Wally made on the field.

Unfortunately, Simon didn't know the rules and, curiosity piqued, asked, "Are you really?"

"Am I really what? Saving myself?" Simon nodded. You grinned, shameless, and stretched your arms above your head as if embracing the sky, "Of course I am," then dropped backward to lie on the grass.

That wasn't entirely true. Simply, your virginity wasn't something you ruminated on, having never been in a relationship, but you'd also long since accepted that you couldn't do what Mathilda had done, finding an interested partner at a concert and losing it for the sake of getting it over with. "I'm surprised Tilly didn't tell you."

Mathilda scoffed, "About your ghost?"

"Ghost?" Now Maddie was intrigued, glancing between you, Mathilda, and Xavier, seeking answers. "You're saving yourself for a ghost?"

You rolled your head toward her and winked through your aviators, laughing lightly at her shocked expression. You could tell she wasn't sure what to make of it, hovering between interested in hearing what the hell you meant by that and concerned that you were that delusional.

"So, you wanna die a virgin, got it." Simon turned to look you in the eye, expression straight for all of three seconds before he started to shake with laughter.

You sat up and swatted at him; he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to his chest, giving him the angle he needed to grind his knuckles against your scalp. He released you when you shrieked and dug your elbow into his stomach.

Once you'd both settled, "How would that even work?" Maddie wondered, raising a hand to list her thoughts on her fingers, "I mean, a) say you guys can get physical, would it be like sleeping with a corpse?" Ew. God. "And b) don't ghosts haunt the places they died? So, if there was a ghost here, you guys would have to do it in a classroom or...the janitor's closet—" "Another nail in the coffin of Romance." Xavier said. You were surprised and somewhat gleeful that Maddie was willing to lend genuine consideration to such an absurd topic, to the point you didn't see the harm in revealing, "Actually, ghosts can roam as far and wide as they want. They aren't confined the way we are. I mean, they could get stuck in a loop if their death was that traumatic, but, for the most part," You smiled at her, "Ghosts can haunt wherever their spooky little hearts desire."

It's not as if anyone really gave credence to the things you said, anyway. Proven when Simon launched into a tirade that drew a lot of inspiration from a show in the Flanaverse.

Hide in plain sight. An idea you'd concocted when the witchcore revolution had exploded on tiktok, alt kids everywhere boasting a collection of healing crystals and excusing their behavior on Mercury Retrograde. Even your mother had taken advantage of the era, promoting her services via heavily filtered videos she had your sister film.

As far as everyone was concerned, your weird ghost lore was a matter of personal opinion and not the result of your family's unique and extensive library.

‗‗‗‗•‗‗‗‗

"Now what?" Simon asked, phone pressed to his ear, as he watched you retreat into the school. Probably questioning his sanity with every step after the conversation he'd just had with you.

"I don't know." Maddie admitted, picking her nails, "I really needed to believe it was true." Even though, before she'd died, Maddie had been skeptical about your sense of the supernatural.

While you'd been in the bus shelter with them, Maddie had argued at Simon to confide in you about his ability to see her. Thought, prayed, that you were perhaps too afraid to admit you could see her, too. Only, it'd become increasingly clear that you weren't faking how Maddie didn't exist in that moment with you at all.

Maddie's chin fell to her chest, eyes sullen. "She had no idea I was right here, I—" She groaned roughly and fell back against the glass, hands scrubbing her face. "—I don't know what I thought she could do to help, I just..." Hoped you'd have answers; maybe had a way of getting Maddie unstuck so she could roam further than the boundaries of the school grounds.

Too bad it was, as you'd put it, a fraud.

Simon itched to console Maddie, hated that he couldn't. He could tell she was conflicted, emotions warring between sadness and anger and resentment. You'd let her down, whether or not you'd meant to, and it stung.

"Hey," Simon said, trying to infuse some positivity into his tone, "We'll figure something out. Until then, I'll just keep doing the heavy lifting."

Maddie turned her head and regarded him softly, "I don't want to keep putting you in situations like that." She remembered Mr. Anderson manifesting behind Simon that night in autoshop, a tinge of menace in his demeanor, and winced.

"It's not like I have anything better to do." Simon shrugged and gave what amounted to a smile, "I got all this free time since my best friend went missing."

A pungent silence crept in and hung in the air between them, neither willing to address that went missing was putting a delusional spin on it.

💀___________________________

PART ONE - PART THREE

also available on AO3!

MATERLIST

[hometoursandotherstuff]

This morning we are dreaming of buying this gorgeous villa in the renowned village of Brunate, Lake Como, Italy. It has 12bds, 14ba, $4.415M.

Hydrangea, my favorite flowers, line the entrance.

Stone arch in the entrance hall.

Stunning sun room/conservatory.

And, what a wonderful dining room, also in the conservatory.

What it looks like from outside.

The lively kitchen is right off the conservatory.

One of the 12 bedroom suites.

Large bath. Love striped wallpaper.

Looks like a ceramic studio in there.

Outside, there's a heated a pool. Beautiful.

Lovely patio- look at the little chest holding books and things.

Then, on the hillside there's a greenhouse-style retreat and a guesthouse above, with a grass roof. The pool is next to the roof.

It's lovely in here.

Gorgeous sitting room.

Spacious bedroom.

And, matching bath.

I wouldn't mind living in the guest house.

What a beautiful village. Look at the tower on the hill, and the lake. Somewhere on the property is a helipad and a tennis court. It's a 4 acre lot.

https://www.jamesedition.com/real_estate/brunate-italy/exceptional-art-nouveau-villa-with-pool-and-park-lake-como

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

she who became the sun

including but not limited to:

1) monk zhu who is DEFINITELY above worldly desires 2) there are many benefits to having a hand made of light (gee i sure wonder who's holding the knife?) 3) guys i think they used ye olde photoshop on zhu's emperor portrait

zhu kicking their feet & giggling @ ma (unfortunately no hair to twirl)

some modern zhus!

(image description below the cut because it got super long!)

[ID: digital art of the character zhu chongba/yuanzhang in the radiant emperor series in the first image, and then nine close-ups. the background is yellow and imitates rays of sun, dividing the image into sections, from the center of the sun, counter-clockwise.

section 1: zhu's head and neck. she is a chinese person with dark-brown eyes, shaved hair, and moles on her face and neck, looking down and smiling slightly. there are two slits in their eyebrows, and they are wearing a gold nose ring and various black and gold studs and rings in their ears.

section 2: two simple drawings, an arrow between them, labelled above with *OUYANG POV*. the first is zhu's face, drawn cartoonishly so that the cheekbones are very wide and the chin is very narrow, creating a triangle. the second is a cicada's face that looks very similar to the cartoonish zhu (the eyes replace zhu's ears and its mandibles replace zhu's chin).

section 3: three drawings of zhu, inspired by canon. the first is zhu as a monk, wearing orange robes and with ordination scars on her scalp. her head is angled down, but her eyes are raised. the second is zhu in he who drowned the world, her hair slightly grown out with a gold hairpin and wearing golden robes. someone is pointing a knife at her and she is smirking like the cat meme, her mandate of heaven illuminating her missing hand, which is showing the middle finger. the third is zhu as emperor, looking more masculine and attractive than the other images. she is wearing blue and gold robes with a dragon embroidered on them and a gold hair crown and pin.

section 4: zhu's profile, smiling after a flash of brown hair. they look modern, wearing a light-blue sleeveless turtleneck with an ace flag and she/they pin as well as a gold nose ring and multicoloured jewellery in their ears. her hair is shaved, but growing out slightly and there are two slits in her eyebrows, and two lipstick kisses on her cheek and corner of her mouth. they are surrounded by pink light, hearts and sparkles, and there is a heart reflection in their eye.

section 5: five drawings of modern zhu. the first is her eyes and thick eyebrows in greyscale, wearing yellow eyeliner that imitates the sun. the second is from the waist up, zhu smiling with their eyes closed, wearing a patterned white and green button-up and leather belt, along with multicoloured pieces of jewellery. the third is zhu's whole body, folded up in a seated position. she's wearing a yellow shirt with white flowers on, grey and brown checkered pants with a green belt, black and gold socks, and purple sneakers, along with jewellery and a gold choker. the fourth is zhu's nose and mouth, showing their nose ring and smile. the fifth is zhu from the knees up. she's looking sideways, right arm held to her head and wearing a bright multicoloured shirt and clashing striped pants over a black crop top, along with a nose ring and sun earrings. /end ID]

[lands-beyond-hades]

The Aztec Pantheon drawn in Hades style.

Cōātlīcue

Cōātlīcue, or "She who wears skirts made of snakes" is the mother Goddess of fertility, patroness of life and death, and rebirth. She is said to birth the stars known by the Mexica as the Centzonhuītznāhua, the moon goddess Coyolxāuhqui, and the Aztec sun god Huītzilōpōchtli.

Tezcatlipoca

Tezcatlipoca is the Aztec God of the Night, Storms, and Obsidian. He wields his Obsidian Mirror (his name meaning Smoking Mirror) and is the 'Tezcatlipoca' (A title for the Four Central Gods of Aztec Culture) of the North. He is said to have a youthful appearance with skin dark like obsidian and yellow striped paint across his face. His rival is Quetzalcōātl, the Tezcatlipoca of the West and fellow Creator God.

Mictlantecutli

Mictlāntēcutli is the Aztec God of the underworld. Like Hades, who styles his realm after himself, Mictlāntēcutli is known as the Lord of Mictlān and is associated with death, decay and ritual cannibalism. As Tōnatiuh, the God of the Sun is associated with light, Mictlāntēcutli is associated with darkness, with animals like Owls, Bats, and Spiders being attributed to him. As an antagonist in the Tale of Creation, Mictlāntēcutli was a major obstacle against Quetzalcōātl who escaped the underworld with bones he used to create the first humans.

Xipe Totec

Xipe Totec is the Aztec God of Flayed Rebirth, Spring, and Agriculture (among many other aspects). He was said to have flayed his own fetid skin to make way for a new body, like the changing seasons, and the way maize (corn) lose their layers. As one of the Four Tezcatlipocas (the others being Quetzalcoatl (Feathered Serpent), Huitzilopochtli (Left-Handed Hummingbird) and Tezcatlipoca (Smoking Mirror) himself) Xipe Totec (Our Lord the Flayed One) claims dominion over the East.

Xochipilli

Xōchipilli is the Aztec god of art, music, poetry, flowers, and games. Similar to the Greek God Dionysus, Xōchipilli (Flower Prince) is associated with celebration and a bit of debauchery. Various psychoactive plants including Tobacco, mushrooms, and a variety of psychedelic flowers are taken during his festivals or in prayer to him. Xōchipilli is also associated with male sex work and homosexuality. His female counterpart/sister is Xōchiquetzal, who has a similar portfolio, and was associated with love beauty and fertility.

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt1: Coming Down With Me

Ellie Williams x reader

I once met a girl with skin like kiwi. Even the butterflies were drawn to her, landing on the top of her nose, the dip in her palm. But the kiwi stung my tongue, scarred my lips and made me bleed. I do not care. Cover me in your kiwi kisses, burn my mouth and scar my flesh. Bleach my eyes and dip my heart in lemon juice. Sing your sickly sweet words until my ears bleed.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood best friends until you grew up. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / people are mean lol / best friends to enemies to lovers / roommate! Ellie

Part two here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

I know everything about you,

You know everything about me.

I had always been bound to the earth while Ellie danced with the stars in the night sky among delusion and dreams. Though, more so than anything, we were bound to one another.

Our parents were friends, even before we were born. They met at summer camp when they were teenagers, the same camp that Ellie and I were eventually shipped off to every summer. Of course, I have no recollection of when I was an infant, only stories that my parents shared with me; My dad told me that I learned to crawl backwards before I learned to crawl forwards. Joel kept a photo album of his girl.

I can't remember days of crawling around and babbling incoherently, but I can tell you what I remember.

Five years old- Kindergarten

Despite the air being unbearable hot, it was infused with excitement as Ellie and me set foot in the petting zoo. I had never seen so many animals in one place, my little brain was going nuts. Accompanied by the gentle hum of content animals, the aroma of straw, and the distant melody of joyful chatter, the petting zoo rang true to its rustic charm.

Ellie, with her auburn curls bouncing in the breeze, led the way, her eyes widened at the sight of a fluffy alpaca lazily grazing in the sunshine. I giggled as we approached a pen filled with adorable piglets, their tiny snouts sniffing the pure air far away from the dirty stench of the city.

Our parents, watching with affectionate smiles, guided us to the lamb enclosure where soft, woolly creatures nuzzled against tiny palms. Ellie's fingers gently traced the contours of a lamb's ear, and she couldn't resist a delighted squeal as she felt the velvety nose of a goat.

As the afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the scene, the families strolled through the meandering paths, passing by a pond where ducks quacked merrily. Ellie and I, hand in loveable hand, marvelled at the wonders of the animal kingdom, our hearts brimming with the pure joy of discovery and a blooming friendship.

Seven years old- Grade Two

On this particular day, Ellie and I had been messing around in her backyard; that's all we did on the weekends at that age, you couldn't get us to go inside. We spent the morning entwined in daffodils and hyacinth that Joel has so tenderly nurtured, careful not to crush the dainty flowers beneath our wild flailing bodies. 

We had the brilliant idea to paint rocks so we had been searching her yard for the perfect flat stones we had in mind. Ellie picked up a rock and immediately threw it back down, jumping away with a shriek.

This had piqued my curiosity (As well as Joels who sat on the back porch, watching us), I went over to where she stood petrified and found nothing more than a little snake staring up at her. I dropped the stones I had been carrying and bent over to get a better look at it, it was brown and had a few white vertical stripes cascading up its thin body. 

I slowly moved my hand outwards to touch but was swiftly interrupted by Joel scooping me up "That's enough of that kiddo." 

Nine years old- Grade Four

Joel's house garnered an expansive backyard and just past the old fence that Ellie and I had thrown one too many softballs at was a lush forest. I would always clamour up the wood fence and poke my little head over it to try and gather a glimpse of wildlife, Ellie usually had to give me a little boost. "Hold still!" She hissed with her arms wrapped around my torso to help lift me, my scrawny arms shook as I tried to pull myself up even further.

The wood rot of the ancient fence finally set in and with the both of us pressing our mighty weight against it collapsed with the fence. We heard the splitting of wood, I got the worst end of the stick, toppling over and putting my hands out to protect myself. I could've sworn that I heard my wrist break like a crunch.

While I did what felt like a three-sixty frontflip over the fence just for my small head to come down on the end of it with a solid smack, Ellie had just flopped on top of it, green eyes widening in shock when she saw my once straight arm now had an abnormal bump coming out from my wrist. "What's wrong with your hand?"

"I don't know I'm probably dying!" I screamed as loud as my voice could carry, that was the first time I had felt adrenaline run through my veins. "You killed me!"

"No, I didn't!" She retorted, scrambling off the fence and back up to her feet. She was clad in a Jurassic Park T-shirt that she practically was swimming in and those pink and orange plaid Bermuda shorts that any kid in the 2000s owned. "Dad!" Ellie yelled, calling for Joel.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and finally, I released the sob that had been building up in my throat. She was almost dumbstruck and just ended up kneeling and wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She muttered.

10 years old- Grade Five

Ellie had been practicing guitar the entire time I was at her house, Joel had gifted her his old guitar and she was so set on perfecting every cord, every half-hour she would ask for a song recommendation and then flip through the songbook she got to find it.

I was curled up in her bed reading The Hunger Games over again "Els, are you team Peeta or Gale?" I was always at Ellie's house, mine was too busy all the time; I had three siblings, Naomi and Aaron who were twins and two years younger than me and my brother Elijah who was three years older than me. I loved going to her house on Saturdays so I could sleep in and wriggle my way out of going to church. Even though her house was right across the street from mine and my parents would bang on Joel's door, he always covered for me.

"Uh," She was distracted by something in her songbook "Team Katniss?"

I nod in approval to myself as she isn't paying attention "You know who Gale reminds me of?" I ask and without Ellie giving me a response I answer anyway "Luke, I think I kind of like him."

Those are the words that get her to look at me "Ew, he's so weird."

"He's nice to me."

She wrinkles her nose in distaste then shrugs, returning to her guitar which sits awardly in her scrawny frame.

12 years old- Grade Seven

"Fuck!" I yell, kicking the grimy green dumpster in the graffiti-covered ally out of anger, though I kicked it a little too hard now my foot hurts I refuse to admit it "Fuck I hate them!"

Ellie leans against the brick wall on the opposite side of the alley, our bikes discarded on the ground while I hopelessly rant to my friend about my parents. She doesn't say much, just little nods of agreement. My parents had caught me skipping church and they laid into me, saying that I had no respect for them or god and whether that was true or not didn't matter, I was full of pre-teen angst and needed to call my friend to go for a bike ride around town.

"She fucking tore my room apart, I never see them get mad at Aaron or Naomi!" I drag my hands down my face before I look back at the dumpster and kick it again "Ow, cunt!" I'm now hopping on one foot while my knee bends my other leg and I hold my beaten red Converse, covered in doodles, to soothe the pain of my poor toes. It's moments like this that remind me why I love Ellie, because as stupid as I look hobbling around and cussing, she doesn't laugh at me even though I know she wants to.

After a little bit of me aimlessly yelling I finally wind down. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to remember those breathing exercises that we were taught at school assemblies. "Thanks for listening to me talk shit, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She shrugs "I've seen you do worse."

This cracks a smile on my face, I turn my head and am met with the Jackson skyline, a beautiful pink sunset on the horizon "Sun's setting," I say.

"Sleepover?" Ellie asks.

"Sleepover," I confirm.

13 years old- Grade Eight

We were thirteen when our parents shoved cash into our hands and dropped us at the mall to go back to school shopping by ourselves for the first time. Every parent's nightmare was a busy mall so when they figured us old enough to venture into the dreaded foodcourt on our own, believed they were taking that opportunity. 

Ellie had bought a couple of T-shirts and hoodies here and there, not too particular about what she was buying, though I was very nit-picky over what I wore so I forced Ellie to judge every single outfit that I wore and rate it, she gave the same answer every single time "It looks fine."

"Cool but I don't wanna look fine, I wanna look pretty," I say in frustration, walking back into the dressing room to try on another outfit. Ellie is sitting in the fitting room on a pink velvet couch, arms crossed and waiting for me to finish. "How's this?" I ask, walking out of the changing stall and giving her a little twirl.

"It looks fine- I mean good, everything looks good on you." She sounds almost exasperated. Ellie's hair was still that vibrant auburn colour that my mother was obsessed with, it had yet to fade out into a duller brown with age.

"Really?" I perk up just the slightest.

"Yeah, you look really pretty." She gives me a little nod of confirmation. I know that she's only saying that because she wants to go to the food court and get a cinnamon bun but I believe her anyway.

14 years old- Grade Nine

We were just nearing the end of the second half of our soccer game. It was the tournament and we were only a point away from placing first in the league, the thought of it had kept me up all week I was running off of Subway sandwiches and Gatorade. 

Riley (the midfielder) swiftly passed the ball to me before she was surrounded by the other team's defence, I looked up to the clock and there were only seconds left in the match. I let my instincts take over, my parents forcing me into soccer since elementary school was not going to wind up useless. My footwork took me up the right wing just before the penalty box. 

I wasn't paying enough attention to notice the tall blonde girl in a slick back ponytail closing in on me. I hear Ellie shout my name and that's all I need to make this last pass, I barely even looked up before power-driving the ball to Ellie who was merely six metres away from me. I slipped onto the muddied field with that kick, watching Ellie waste no time to score our final goal the second her cleat touched the ball. 

The clock deadlocks and I drag myself off the ground running towards my best friend, I jump on her almost taking her down with me though she manages to steady herself. "I fucking love you!" I scream hugging her with all of the force I can muster. She hugs me in return, unable to get any words out between her laughs. The team is quick to swarm us, everyone is shouting about our well-deserved victory but not one person is louder than Joel in the stands.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Snow was falling as I stood in the foyer of the high school, still waiting for my date for the winter formal to arrive. Conner had asked me out weeks ago, we hadn't talked much since though I just figured that was because he was shy. I even left school early to get ready and spent hours meticulously pinning every hair into place and adjusting my navy blue satin dress so it would drape across my body in just the right way.

My sister, Naomi was an aspiring makeup artist so I let her dust my eyelids in silver glitter, I forced Warren to drive me. All of that was just for me to get stood up. Conner hadn't texted me all day, I knew he wasn't coming that didn't stop me from forcing denial on myself. "Hey," I heard a soft voice sound behind me, I wasn't surprised to see Ellie. Even though our parents were no longer friends, we were close as ever.

"Hi," My voice was hushed and feeble.

"The dance started an hour ago," She said, that night she had been wearing a white button-up with a pair of jeans and her hair half up. It was clear the dance wasn't as big a deal to her as it was to me. All she had done was ask Riley to go with her and call it a day. Despite her lack of effort, she looks beautiful as ever "I don't think he's coming," She said bluntly.

That's the exact moment I felt myself crack, tears welled up in my eyes and I lurched forward to hug her, flailing my arms helplessly to search for comfort "Then why did he ask me to go with him?" My sobs were drowned out by the sound of Kesha blasting in the overcrowded gym.

"I don't know, but he's an idiot for standing you up," Ellie holds me close and I never want her to let go "I wouldn't have ever done that to you."

16 years old- Grade Eleven

This is where things begin to fall apart. I found Ellie on the back porch of some random guy's house at a party. "I figured I would find you out here," I say, taking a seat next to her on the wooden steps, I hug my knees close to my chest.

"What's up?" Beside me, Ellie is unnervingly calm, she nurses a joint, taking a long hit and letting the smoke turn to clouds. 

"Conner kissed me," I say cutting to the chase

I can tell she doesn't like the thought, she hated Conner, ever since he stood me up at the winter formal but she bites her tongue "You guys gonna date?"

"I think so."

"Good for you."

"I don't know if I liked it," My eyebrows are furrowed, and I pull my knees in even further, inhaling the crisp autumn air and the smell of Ellie, she smells like cannabis, firewood and bar soap. 

"What do you mean?" Ellie puts out the end of her joint and tucks what remains of it into an empty Altoids container.

"Nothing," I dismiss it, "It doesn't matter, I just wanted to talk to you," Ellie had softened every burden for me since we were girls. "Um, so, my parents are sending me to boarding school next year."

"No, they're not-

"They are."

Ellie doesn't seem so calm anymore, she adjusts her body to face mine and she's so close I swear to god I could've counted every freckle on her face. "Why, what did you do?" The way she looks at me makes me wish that she was a boy.

"Nothing!" I retort "They think I'm straying from god, it's a Christian school." That was my code for 'they think I have a crush on you and I rather not get disowned by my super religious parents!'

"come stay with me and Joel-

"Ellie, please," I place a hand on her thigh "I don't think I can get away from this one."

That was at the end of September, it only got worse from there. I partially wished that I didn't tell Ellie that I had to leave, every time we hung out it just felt like words were hanging between us like birds on a wire and neither of us could say what we wanted. I forced myself to distance myself from her, I didn't know how else to handle my feelings. 

She would blow up my phone and come by my house even visit my work but I just told her that I was busy. I could tell that she didn't believe my excuses for a second, she had English with my new boyfriend, Conner and would get him to relay messages and notes to me.

It didn't get easier to ignore her, my family prying about where she had been. I never told my parents that Ellie was gay, though I know they had always had a suspicion and that's why they could never love her all the way completely, the way Joel loved me and looked out for me. My mom and dad liked that I swapped out Ellie for Conner, by February, my dad even started to call him son. 

In March Ellie and I had stopped talking completely, she gave up on texting me and coming by my house just for my siblings to lie about my whereabouts. It hurt to see the resentment gleam in her eye every time she passed me in the hallway. 

She didn't speak a word to me until the start of the summer bonfire which was custom in our town. If I had known she would be there I never even would have thought about going. I rather not rehash this awful night, not right now just know that it ended with some alcohol, a bit of blood in the sand and me telling Ellie 'I would pick him over you every single time.' Yikes, that's not a good look for me. I spent the rest of my summer burying her in the back of my mind until boarding school finally came upon me and I graduated with friends I didn't like in a place that didn't feel like home. 

I was sixteen then now I'm nineteen, no longer a girl but not yet a woman. Those were some key moments of our friendship. I'm not so sure why I felt so mature at the age of sixteen. I had taken a gap year and loved every minute of it, I backpacked in Australia, worked as a camp counsellor in the summer then left to work at a turtle conservatory in Bali, I was making pennies but the experience was worth it. 

I arrived at my new home sunkissed with Ellie far in the back of my mind. I didn't know much about who I would be rooming with, I had only spoken to Dina over a Zoom call who was a friendly girl with warm eyes and ink-black hair spilling over her shoulders. I just prayed that none of them were Craigslist killers.

It took me entirely too long to find parking, when I finally did, I grabbed two of my suitcases, unable to hold anything else, the rest of the boxes jammed into my car would have to wait. I read over the text that Dina sent me what seemed to be a million times to make sure I had the right address. It was a small-ish one-story flat with brown walls that had white accents along corners and the doorway with a wood-panelled gable roof. As far as college housing went, I was happy. It looked like something I would've made in the Sims when I was a teenager. 

I walk to the front door, the entrance is framed by intricately carved moulding, its details telling a story of craftsmanship and tradition. The wood, polished to a warm, inviting glow, exudes a sense of richness and history. I knocked on the door and heard a voice shouting that she would get it.

The door swings open and I'm met face to face with Dina "Hey!" She smiled "It's nice to meet you, I think you'll like it here," She held the door wide open, motioning for me to go in, and I obliged. "Let me give you a tour." Dina is clad in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and her hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail.

The layout of the house seemed somewhat odd to me, there was a corridor straight ahead when you walked in, the first room was the laundry room and contained the washer and dryer with some hampers and shelves of detergent and laundry freshener. "This is the laundry room, we have a wash schedule along with a chore schedule so we will put you on that tonight," Dina told me, I just nodded politely in response feeling a little too awkward and out of place to say anything. 

"Alright so this is the kitchen, there's a half bathroom beside it," She says, swinging her arms wide open for exaggeration I can see the chore chart hanging on the walls, it's written in chalk, and it is the laundry schedule. There are little laminated tags with each person's name on them, though I can't quite make out the names from where I am standing. The fridge is covered in postcards, magazine cutouts, polaroids, and bright magnets of papayas and flowers, I automatically assumed this was Dina despite not knowing the other roommates. The kitchen is open with no walls to hide it, the oven and dishwasher are built into counters against the walls as well as the sink which i spotless at the moment, there isn't a dining table but a kitchen island with stools. Past the island you can see the living room, there are two grey couches with decorative pillows and fuzzy throw blankets, a coffee table that looked handcrafted with care and of course a TV. 

Have I mentioned there are plants everywhere? Like everywhere. "Okay, so," Dina keeps on moving and I trail behind with my suitcases, over there is my room and Cat's and Abby's," She points to the left of the living room where there is a short hallway with three doors, one on each wall of it. "There's Cat now," She waves at her roommate.

Cat is relatively tall, she has black hair that's tied into a bun, and she's wearing plaid pyjama pants and a black tank top, I can see her abundance of tattoos. She has one sleeve of laurel cascading up her arm and the other is patchwork done right, each separate piece blends almost seamlessly into the next. "I like your tattoos," I say, not wanting to sit in any more silence.

She grins at me "Thanks, love," I nod in response to her, Cat looks down at the suitcases that I'm lugging around "Dina, take this poor girl to her room already."

"I was just getting there," Dina teases and motions for me to follow her "So over here is the bathroom and of course your room, I left your copy of the house key on your mattress," She opens it up. The bedroom is completely blank aside from the boxed bedframe, shelf, vanity and mattress that I had to send over prior. There's a built-in closet in the wall. 

I put my suitcases on the ground "I'm gonna grab the rest of my stuff from my car," I offer up a tight-lipped smile.

"Wait a second," She takes my hand and then knocks on the bedroom door parallel to mine. "I'm coming in!" Dina announces pushing the door open, there's a brunette girl hunched over her desk. My breath hitches in my throat when she turns around "This is Ellie."

I can see the panic that momentarily takes over Ellie when she spots me before it's replaced by a false coolness, "Hey," She says before turning back to her laptop and putting her headphones back on. It felt like my heart had shut down, why the fuck did I sign the lease?

"Sorry," Dina shuts Ellie's door "She's not the friendliest of the bunch but she'll warm up to you eventually," Dina walks to the front door with you Abby should be around here somewhere."

I had gotten so frustrated trying to set up my bed frame that I sheepishly left my room and asked for help, god bless Abby. She was putting everything together so easily, I watched her in awe as she finished adding the final screw to my bedframe. "Want help setting up the mattress?"

"Yes, please," I say, I grab one end of the mattress while Abby gets the other, she tells me to lift on three and I listen, she carries the majority of the weight but it still feels like an accomplishment on my part. "So does everyone here go to Northridge?"

"Yeah, except for Cat, she's a tattoo apprentice."

"Cool, cool," I search for words, "What are you majoring in?"

"Kinesiology," It makes sense, I could've called that by looking at the fit gym rat who was now sitting on my bed. "You?"

"Wildlife biology,"

"So you like animals and conservation and stuff?"

"Mhm," I nod "It's honestly kind of hard to not have any animals in my life." I was missing all my pets back home, when I wasn't with them I was working at a conservatory or at a summer camp where I took care of all of the horses, and Ellie's dog, Achilles.

"You'll get used to it, living with Dina is the same thing as living with an animal," She smiles and for the first time, I feel comfortable. Abby watching me with her blue eyes as I begin to unpack my abundance of boxes, I kind of just dump everything onto the ground because I can't remember which box has what, the first thing I search for are my coat hangers. I dump out a box with a bible, wall cross, and rosery and golden cross necklace from a box of random knickknacks. "You religious?"

"Kind of?" I question it myself "Not really, it's just my family, I packed that stuff to make my mom happy."

Abby nods "I get it."

"You do?"

She backtracks "No, but I can try to."

I shake my head, "I wouldn't try if I were you, I spent nineteen years trying to get away from it." I was sure other Christian homes were healthy but mine wasn't one of them, the way my parents obsessed over Jesus was honestly frightening.

"Hey, do you wanna come watch a movie when your done unpacking?" Abby asked, "Get to know your new roommates a little better."

I don't entirely want to, I wasn't ready to talk to Ellie. I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that I was living with her and that she was pretending she didn't know me, despite this, my words betrayed me "For sure."

I sat on one of the couches beside Abby, I made myself as small as I could, thinking that maybe I could make myself disappear. Cat and Ellie crammed themselves on the other while Dina took the plush armchair. I felt so out of place everyone here had relationships, I had one with Ellie before I severed it 'Grown Ups' was playing on the flatscreen though it seemed I was the only one paying attention.

The four girls all laughed and talked their way through the movie, Abby, Cat, and Dina would ask me a question here and there but I didn't know them well enough to pitch in. I kept telling myself that I needed to push through, if Spiderman could do it, so could I.

I didn't even finish the movie, halfway through I excused myself saying I was tired which wasn't necessarily a lie. It was difficult to fathom how well Ellie was playing it off, acting like she never met me. I walk into the bathroom, clean towel in hand, ready to scrub off the stress of today. Beside the mirror, I see a cardstock poster decorated with bright markers and doodles.

HOUSE RULES

#1 No underwear left in the bathroom

#2 Wash your dishes

#3 Break it? Tell Abby

#4 No smoking inside

#5 Privates are private!

#6 Pls don't drink and drive (We have a couch)

#7 Give your beloved roommates a heads up before having someone over

#8 This is a residence of women so the seat goes down!!!

#9 Respect the bedrooms

#10 Having sex? Keep it quiet

#11 NO DRAMA!!!!!!!!

#12 Follow chore and wash chart

#13 Don't eat what's not yours! (Without asking)

I finish reading the last bit and mutter to myself  "Wasn't planning on it." I run the water so hot that it feels cold and I'm quick to not use all of the hot water and have my roommates hate me on my first night here. Everyone has their little drawers in the bathroom, mine is empty aside from some floss and cotton pads that the girl before me left behind. I make a mental note to make use of my bathroom drawer tomorrow and fill it with makeup remover or conditioner, or something like that.

Brushing my teeth and wrapping myself in a strawberry towel that I had purchased at a craft fair, I open the bathroom door, I can see the light of the TV and the sound of chatter from the living room. However, I ignore it and make a B-line to my bedroom. Even though I had spent hours unpacking and pinning up posters it still didn't seem homey.

I slip into shorts and a t-shirt, leaving my hair as is and throw myself onto my bed. My towel is discarded onto my bathroom floor. When I turn on my phone I am bombarded my messages from my parents, my mother has probably sent me twelve Google pins to the closest churches, I answer her with a thumb-up emoji and settle into my bed to scroll through social media and see how much fun all of my friends are having. 

Fucking Ellie. She's plaguing my thoughts, I think of what I said to her and it makes me cringe, I want to smother myself with my satin pillow. I don't even have food to eat, grocery shopping wasn't something that I put on my priority list and right about now I was but Ellie, god, why was I such a dick? Because I didn't know what else to do- whatever, I was a scared teenager. What would you have done? Probably kiss her you lesbo.

Lord, it makes me sick to think about what could've been.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Ellie and I were sitting at a fire pit at her uncle Tommy's lake house. It was a Fourth of July party except we were the only teenagers there; everyone else was friends of Tommy and Maria or some distant relatives of Ellie's or children of said people.

After five years of practicing day and night, Ellie had just about mastered the acoustic guitar, she played and I sang, wrapped up in her flannel, I was tucked close next to her. 

She struck every cord perfectly and I began to sing absentmindedly, the song that had been carved into my brain. Ellie looked so insanely beautiful illuminated only by fire and the stars that hung in the sky, if it hadn't been a sin I would've kissed her.

Talking to her felt as holy as praying to god but I knew it was as sinful as worshipping the devil. 

If it was so wrong why was I born in God's image?

Her gentle hand strummed on the chords of the guitar, the same calloused hand that had once turned water into wine. Her laughter was the sound of a church choir 

I wish I told her how much I liked her but what would've happened if I did? What would my parents think, they would kill me. 

Part of me didn't care how my parents would react, if I spoke up, I could say goodbye to my inheritance and having college paid for. Maybe that was an unfair assumption to make on my part. Ugh. FUCK, I don't know, let's get to the next part of the story.

I couldn't sleep that night, I thought maybe a glass of water would soothe me, well I didn't really think that but I was hungry and thirsty and water was the only thing in that house I had the right to ingest. I figured that I could fill myself with water and zip to Denny's in the morning then grab some groceries.

Poking my head out of my door, I checked to see if anyone was still awake before gingerly taking hushed steps towards the kitchen, I was trying to be as light as Thumbelina. I hadn't noticed Ellie bumming on the couch, scrolling through her phone. 

"You cooking all of that non-existent food you brought?" She jeered. Oh, now she wanted to talk to me.

"I was gonna have some warm water soup for dinner and chew on pistachio shells from the cup holder in my car for dessert," I answer "I'm treating myself tonight." She didn't think it was funny at all, a few years ago she would've been cackling at my subpar joke, but now she just seemed unamused. "Sheesh, tough crowd."

She stays silent.

"You used to think I was funny," I say.

"I also used to think the tooth fairy was real."

"Harsh," I mutter. Turning the tap on and sticking a finger underneath it to test the temperature. I put my hummingbird mug underneath it and let it fill. "Hey, Ellie," She doesn't answer "Have you told them any bad things about me?"

She nearly scoffs "No, believe it or not, I don't talk about you, I don't even think about you," There's venom in her voice "You haven't crossed my mind since you walked through that door."

"Why are you pretending you don't know me-

"Because I don't fucking like you," She says it like it's so obvious and it honestly is in this moment "Just because you're pretty and you act like a sweet little Christain girl, that doesn't mean shit."

"I'm not trying to act like anything-

"Yeah, well it seems pretty insincere to me," Ellie seethed and I could feel a sting in my heart, I would do some pretty horrendous things for a time machine right about now.  I can tell that there won't be any salvaging for this, she hates me to death and rightfully so. 

This is where I give up "Okay, sorry," I grab my hummingbird mug and retreat to my room.

I endured four months of that.

Ellie was pushed to the back of my mind while I ran through classes and got a job as a waitress at a stake house. I did everything in my power to keep myself busy, to keep her out of my head but she was always there, she hung around like a song I can't shake, like I'm haunted by the melody. 

Some nights when the city decides to quiet down I can hear her play guitar, and I'll quietly hum along to it. Songs she used to sing for me, she now sings for another woman, another soul. I knew that she had girls over, but I never got to meet them as Ellie did everything in her power to pretend I didn't exist.

The only communication I got with her was in the roommate's group chat, and it was always brief.

Ellie: Having a friend over tomorrow night

D-manz: Friend? With benefits??????????

Kit-Cat: Nah they're hardly even friends, just benefits

Abs: Don't get her pregnant

Me: 👍

As long as I was with the girls, Ellie was not. She avoided me like the plague, it was like she despised my existence. If we go clubbing, she takes a separate taxi, petty if you ask me. The girls knew something happened between us but they couldn't pinpoint what it was. It was Dina's conspiracy that Ellie used to date one of my friends and broke her heart. While I bonded with Cat, Dina, and Abby, Ellie would pretend to like me. She would occasionally laugh at my jokes or ask how my shift was when Dina was in the room. 

Trust me when I say I would rather forget than dwell on it but it was impossible. I know that I'm nothing more than an obstacle to her, a stain on her bedsheets, a sore in her mouth, but she was still my diamond in the rough. I will willingly ignore all of her cutthroat words and her jagged edges. 

Because I know everything about us.

[giuseppe-yuki]

Just imagine anyone on the grid having a lion or a tiger as an so and rocking up to the paddock (just like tiger king), with the animal on a bedazzled leash and everything

hmm interesting! i honestly tried to stick with smaller animals in my series, as to not spook the fans and reporters around the paddock, but i feel like a tiger shapeshifter!reader is a good concept as well!

i feel like the top contenders to have a tiger shapeshifter s/o would either be someone with a loud personality, like danny, or someone completely unexpected like andrea (kimi antonelli).

here's a little blurb/oneshot i thought up on a whim:

picture credits from pinterest :)

you are woken up from your nap by the shrillest scream you ever heard. you leap back, accidentally trampling a few decorative plants in the back of the mercedes motorhome. oops, you think. in front of you stands bono, lewis' engineer, who looks like he's seen a ghost. eyes wide behind his black framed glasses, he stands, frozen in fear. still blinking sleep from your eyes, you carefully pad in a direction away from the terrified engineer, who is now very noticeably trying to tiptoe away.

it was ironic, really, for the universe to grant you the ability to shapeshift into one of the world's deadliest predators, but make you have the shyest, most timid personality.

you were technically not supposed to be napping under the sun behind the merc hospitality- your boyfriend kimi had told you to wait inside the building while he had a quick meeting with toto. it wasn't your fault that the sun was shining so warmly and the lovely smell of freshly planted flowers were floating outside. you had decided to chill on the grass when you must have fallen asleep (and probably accidentally shifted too).

now, you watch in fear as bono beckons a group of people towards you. they all wear matching black uniforms with the word "security" pasted right in the back with neon yellow letters. god, this was going to be hard to explain when kimi came back.

they approach you, not knowing how to deal with the giant tiger currently huddling in the back of the mercedes motorhome. you couldn't blame them, you knew you looked pretty intimidating, and let's be honest, anyone would be scared if they saw a fierce predator in the wild, much less behind a formula 1 motorhome.

they slowly surround you, batons out, and a few of them talk through their radio walkie-talkies, requesting for "backup". it seems that some reporters and fans have gotten wind of the situation too, because you see some at the edge of the entrance, phones out and recording. you hear them mutter about the weirdness of the scene unfolding in front of them.

suddenly, you hear a familiar accented voice ring out behind the ring of security guards and crowd of people.

"baby, come here!" kimi says firmly. he clicks his tongue twice and beckons you toward him with his finger.

to everyone's surprise, you bound towards him through the now horde of people. they scatter to the side as you race towards your boyfriend. once you skid to a halt in front of him, he brushes his hand through your fur and places a soft kiss on your wet nose. it's a laughable sight, seeing your impressive-sized striped body cowering behind kimi's shorter figure.

bono steps out of the crowd of people, brow scrunched in fear and confusion. "what the-? kimi??? when did you own a tiger?"

your boyfriend laughs. "well, i don't really own her, you know. we just have, eh, what do you call it- a special bond between us." he gives a light hug, squeezing you against him. "i love her very much!"

if you were in your human form, you would definitely be blushing.

turning away from bono, kimi leads you back towards main paddock road, which wasn't hard to do considering the crowd leaving a wide berth of space around you both (probably from the fear of getting eaten by you, even though you would never think to ever do that to someone).

once he reaches the main part of the paddock, he pulls out a bejeweled collar and leash out of his pocket. you look at him questioningly, but don't resist as he threads it around your neck.

"just so no one thinks that you're a random runaway tiger," he explains, tightening it comfortably.

you both continue your walk through the paddocks, this time heading towards kimi's garage. several fans and enigneers scamper out of the way as the see you approach, not used to seeing an actual real life tiger, albeit in a shiny leash and collar.

as you lightly amble towards the entrance of the merc garage, leash trailing behind you from kimi's hand, you spot toto walk by with a big grey wolf on his heels.

he turns to kimi, looking him straight in the eyes, and smirks, eyes twinkling knowingly.

"you got yourself a tiger, huh?"

a/n: sorry i don't know why the picture format is acting up and won't let me make it into a singular row like it usually is 😭

[bobateababe]

Heian era Sukuna! X Dom! Reader

﹅⌯⊹୨୧⌕ꗃ ─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Sukuna's aura is one of dominance. The way he stands tall, how his hunter eyes lower every other gaze in the room the moment he steps in it. But don't be fooled, Sukuna loves an equally dominant woman.

Which is why once every so often, he'll let you sit upon his throne and let you govern the village for the day.

"You're my queen" Sukuna drawls, snaking his python like arms around you waist. "As a pretty woman, you must know your worth upon your throne hm?" He pinches your cheeks between his two fingers, his smirk widening when you scoff and pull away.

He claims it's for your good, but he secretly LOVES seeing you in charge. The way your body sits as straight as a rod on that chair makes him want to do nothing but worship. The way your voice hardens when you give out orders, and have your pretty legs slightly spread while leaning back in a casual manner, spitting out wants and needs as his servants grovel at your feet.

All he wants to do is lift up your pretty dress and devour your sweet pussy.

And so he does.

At the end of the day, when the sun finally lowers into the horizon, is when he finally pounces.

He props you up onto a table, lifting up your dress and leaving it to bunch at your hips. He lowers his face next to your pussy, his tongue one dart away from tasting the sweetness of your lovely flower. Sukuna doesn't break eye contact with you, gently biting your inner thigh. You give him permission with a slight nod of your head, and a pretty smirk on your lips.

With that, Sukuna feasts on your pussy. His knees on the cold marble floor as he holds your legs open and licks a long stripe up and down your pussy. The drool from his mouth trickles down your thighs and drips from your pussy to the pristine floor between your legs.

You let out sweet noises of ecstasy, and in the heat of the moment grab his hair and push his face deeper into your cunt. Sukuna groans, sucking harshly on your pussy. "Taking what's yours now? What a brat." He chuckles onto your pussy. You're let out a loud scoff, "Acting as if your cock isn't making a tent in your pants."

You push his face back into your cunt, as he makes sweet love to your clit with his fat, hot tongue. Throughout the night, you two make loud, shameless love to each other. And Sukuna? oh he was having to much fun. You were in the middle of sitting on his face, when one of the servants were still cleaning up in the other room.

Sukuna let out a growl, "I will kill him if he-" "Shhh no" You coo to your lovely husband. "Continue feasting upon my delicious pussy, let him see." And with that, Ryomen Sukuna wanted to marry you all over again.

Afterwards you definitely came out pregnant. And you bet Sukuna is goanna let his sweet pregnant wife sit on the throne with his seed inside her.

:D

(lowk got lazy at the end.)

[kanmom51]

JM Muse Serenade concept photos

Once again, I'm going to jot down a few thoughts that came to mind waking up to JM's concept photos and teaser clip that dropped today.

These are initial thoughts, and if I change my mind or have anything to add, then I will either reblog or add in a separate post, as I usually did. But I felt the need to put these thoughts down in writing and share them with you as is, like a conversation we are having together.

Yesterday we got this teaser.

And today we got the whole shebang.

I can't get a clear photo of the brooch he's wearing, but we all know that it has to have a meaning too.

Also, trying to figure out the meaning behind the three different outfits for the different images.

On the little stage holding the guitar by his side, he's wearing a tailored suit. While in the other photos he's wearing 2 different types of uniforms.

JM up on a stage, the flower all around him. Is he telling us he is going to be sharing a secret?

Or is that him surrounded by the flowers in the sense that he is on this island, wearing what looks like a kind of regular basic suit, isolated, unable to share his secret.

But when looking at the suit you see it's striped,

kind of similar to this one:

The Smeraldo flower is a clear motif throughout the whole album.

We have spoken about it. The meaning of the flower, the garden, The truth untold.

Perhaps the transition into the uniform, now holding the flowers (are those Smeraldo flowers though? Cause they look like a type of a lily), and then the open jacket with the band instruments waiting behind him - him opening up, prepared to share his secret...

But this photo here.

Is the one that I noticed especially, rang a few bells for me.

This is what I saw straight away:

You remember, right?

When JK was asked what part of JMs body is his fave and our man answered all of JM.

And this also did something for me:

This is what I felt seeing that large shadow, one we also see in the concept clip:

JMs words in Letter.

That intimate love song that was not written for us.

Written by JM.

Sung by JM.

The guitars. Letter being an acoustic guitar, quieter, more intimate. While here we have an electric guitar, louder, stronger sounding, for all to hear...

And all of this is for his Serenade concept.

Oh, and we have this too:

Let's look for one sec what actually is a serenade, why don't we?

So we have a song, often in the evening, and mainly outdoors, in public, for all those around to hear your statement of love to the person you are serenading.

Was Letter a serenade?

we talked about it being a song addressed to JK, all while being for army to hear.

So, in a sense this is a serenade.

But then perhaps not just yet, seeing Letter was a hidden track, one to be heard only by those he feels he can trust with his secret.

So not out in the open enough, not public. Not just yet.

Then we have the teaser clip for Muse - taking that Letter out of the closed locker -

Is that JM telling us that this time it's going to be a full on serenade, one for all of us to hear?

Was SGMB that serenade?

It is out in the open with an orchestra, we do have the golden hour effect, so tick to the evening element.

Could this be the serenade to follow Letter? Letter being the more intimate one on one (we did have that whole JM-JK back and forth going on there at the end), and SGMB being that song JM is singing under JK's balcony (we do have him singing to the sunflowers) for all to hear about his love for him?

Or are we getting another Serenade to come? Cause this one felt like it just might be IT.

Oh, and then we have this:

Again, we get the greater/bigger shadow. The lighting...

Golden. Golden hour. JK Golden.

And then we also have this.

One has what seems like the moon to his back.

The other is bathing in lights that light up just for him, feeling like he's bathing in the setting sun.

Yes, I went there.

And if I'm already going there, then why not this?

I think I'll wrap it up here.

Basically this was a rambling of my initial thoughts.

Feel free to comment, add some of yours, start a conversation.

Love y'all.

💜💜

Oh, and go stream SGMB !!!!

[respectthepetty]

As a Disney villain, beginning episode nine of Your Sky with Dom gifting Babe a puppy almost made me snap, crackle, and pop like a bag of Rice Krispies, but thankfully, Babe responded perfectly, and in normal Your Sky fashion, Dom's cute as a button face was easily forgiven since he actually put thought into giving his girlfriend a living and breathing being.

Is Dom a Blue Boy? Because a Blue Boy would plan to speak to the father first and pay for the expenses. Good boy!

Also, what is your girl's color because she is not chill enough to be a Green Girl?

Actually, I'm questioning everyone's color(s) this episode because this heart-eye-emoji boy who was about to switch out his shoes with his sweetheart in the middle of a store simply because Rak expressed pain is the epitome of a Blue Boy, yet he wears a lot of black.

And I thought the black was because he was hiding how much he liked Rak, but now that everything is out in the open, he is still wearing black.

Rak loves him which the pink puppy represents. His yellow and Fah's blue are in the flowers right next to him. And Rak is wearing the strawberry shirt again. They are in love! All should be well.

During the first (fake) date in episode four, I expressed this about the possibility of Rak wearing the strawberry shirt on their date, and @fiddleyoumust informed me that strawberries represent Kong, so I'm happy to see its return now that they are really dating, but . . .

WHY IS FAH STILL WEARING BLACK?!

Even when Rak wears Fah's blue, Fah wears black and white.

And I've considered the possibility that Rak is actually blue and yellow instead of just a Yellow Yal,

But beyond his iPad cover being yellow, Fah gives him a yellow straw with his heart cake,

And Rak's sock are even yellow!

So Rak wears Fah's blue (and clothing) because he loves Fah, a Blue Boy . . . who wears a lot of black.

Y'all, is Fah actually bi-colored?!

Because Real is a true Black Brooder.

Dealing with a Red Rascal.

And unlike his heart-eye-emoji friend who I think is a Blue Boy, Black Brooder Real is really keeping his heart guarded and is being a sad boy about it as a Black Brooder would.

So, of course, this little red menace would be doing the most.

Including stripping off his color to expose Real's color underneath.

And wearing Real's color (and clothes).

Because they ARE in love with each other.

But they cannot communicate that, which is frustrating, but it makes sense since Black Brooders think they are saying everything with a kiss when they are actually making everything more confusing.

It's what they do!

Then they wake up in bed with the person they are in love with, and think they need to run away instead of talking.

Because feelings are hard for Black Brooders to express.

Which is why I cannot wrap my head around Fah being blue AND black since Rak wakes up in Fah's blue pajamas, in Fah's blue bed, and answers Fah's blue phone.

And don't get me started on Fah's outfit here!

According to Fah's name and tattoo, he is the sky and Rak is the . . . the sea?! Why not the sun?! What is happening here? Either way, the sky is blue. NOT BLACK! Unless there is a storm, but . . . NO! BLUE NOT BLACK!

Rak's pajamas have yellow (and white) stripes, so I feel secure he is not bi-colored, but what color shenanigans is Fah playing?! I need answers, pretty boy!

Oh, thank goodness, they are having sex! That always calms me down!

[sleepyfan-blog]

Planting

A/N: it's been a hot minute, but not dead! I hope you enjoy this. This is the first fic centered on darsas in the husbandry verse!

Link to darsas' husbandry fic collection page

Summary: You give your bonded death guard, Darsas, a little gift.

Warnings: none, ask me to tag if something bothers you.

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @i-am-a-dragon34 @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @bleedingichorhearts

You find Darsas. As he so often is, arms deep in your garden, softly humming to himself, the bioluminescent stripes on his armor gently glowing and flashing in tempo to the song that he is singing.

He pauses in his singing, his armored gauntlets dirty from the rich, dark soil that you'd purchased for him to supplement the clay-filled soil that your home was built on. He's never removed his armor in your presence - and from what research you've done on Chaos Marines, he likely can't. But you can tell that he's smiling at you as you approach.

There is a soft buzz, as usual, as he speaks “Good morning, my flower. Did you sleep well?”

It is mid-morning, with the sun warm and high in the sky, with the occasional fluffy white cloud skating by, as a gentle breeze stirs through the immaculate garden that Darsas lovingly tends to.

There are flowers and bushes of every description (except for roses. For some reason, Darsas hates roses, despite their thorns not being enough to pierce his armored gauntlets) and the saplings he has just finished planting promises to grow into beautiful dwarf apple trees. Alongside them he has planted mint, chives, coriander and lavender. Several fennel bulbs lay on the ground next to him, waiting and ready to be planted.

You smile up at your kneeling marine - even at half his height, he's still so large… But he is a gentle giant. You smile and kiss his helmet before answering “I did sleep well, Dar. I've also got you a gift.” Your hands are behind your back, hiding the long green-stemmed, multi-white flowered plant with bright yellow stamen.

Darsas let's out a curious trill, his glowing green eyes brightening a little “A gift for me? Oh, you spoil me, my radiant blossom!” He shakes the dirt from his gauntlets and turns, still on his knees as he gathers you up in a tight but gentle hug. You hear the soft click of his lower helmet opening as he presses happy kisses to your cheeks and lips, a happy purr rumbling from his chest.

You giggle at his eagerness and kiss him back - his lips larger and more scarred, but as always, almost feverishly warm as you do so. “I love you too, my handsome garden bug.” You hum, leaning into his touch.

His purr only intensifies as his form curls around yours. His voice is ragged and nearly worshipful as he slides into a language you do not understand, pressing more kisses to your cheeks and neck.

You're happy to let him cover you in kisses, kissing him whenever his lips find yours. You gently prompt him as the chamomile plant in your hands grows heavy “Would you like to see your gift, Darsas?”

He pulls away just far enough to nod, content to hold you close and purr. His bioluminescent stripes glow bright when you bring out the chamomile plant “Thank you, my beloved. I will plant this in a place of pride and care.”

You smile adoringly at your sweet Death Guard as he gives you one last quick cuddle before he starts to pick a good spot for the chamomile to grow. Why your neighbors are so nervous of your large, friendly love bug you'll never know. Then again… Chaos Marines don't have the best reputation, and Darsas, bless him, hates bathing and is on the more obviously mutated end of the spectrum.

[bohemianblasphemy]

Can your bestie get some birthday smut with Butcher? 😋🥳 Cus weeee, birthday smut!

everyone say happy birthday to Cas 🖤

Today was a special occasion for you, celebrating another lap around the sun- And what other way to celebrate than a night in with your ever so charming partner, Billy Butcher.

He had been gone for that day, ‘running errands’ was his excuse - but something inside you knew that he had something planned for you that evening when he came back home.

As you stood in your kitchen soft music played as you cleaned the tabletop, waiting for Butcher to return home. The clock struck 8pm and the front door swung open, Butcher stumbling in with multiple things in hand. He struggled manoeuvring around to .

“Billy you could’ve asked me to come help you when you came home…” you chuckled, seeing the stubborn man grin.

“Nah love you ain’t doin’ anything on your birthday, leave it all ta me.” He turned to you, pulling you into his chest for a crushing hug and a kiss.

“Happy birthday my love…” he grumbled, kissing your forehead.

“I’ve got some things for ya…”

Your eyes looked at the items on the table- a gift bag with a bottle of red wine and a bouquet of beautiful red and white flowers, a tag wrapped around the stems.

“Billy, you didn’t have to-” you look to him as he shushed you.

“shut ya face, you deserve somethin’ nice…” he smirked, passing you the bouquet. “Read the tag…”

Your hands held the flowers, the soft floral sent filling your nose. You turned the tag over to read what you hoped would be a sweet, heart felt note- only to read:

“IOU: the best birthday sex of your life.”

Your eyes widened as you read it, chuckling at the bluntness of the message.

“and here i thought that you’d write something a little more wholesome…” he chuckled as he watched your reaction.

“You know me love, i don’t beat around the bush with this stuff…” he winked, pulling you back toward him, your back flush against his chest.

Moving your hair away to the side, he slowly peppered kisses down your neck- hearing your hums of delight.

“What about we put that IOU to good use hmm?” he grumbled in your ear. No further words were exchanged as you turned around and encapsulated his lips with yours.

Your hands trailed his chest up his neck, wrapping your arms around him as his hands gripped under your ass.

“jump…”

You complied, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you toward the bedroom.

Billy’s lips trailed down your neck as he pulled your shirt up to pull over your head, leaving you bare before him.

“god you’re beautiful…”

His lips trailed down your body, his long fingers pulling your pants and underwear down as he reached your hips, sucking and biting down on your skin.

“Fuck Billy, please…” you whined, feeling his mouth trek down your inner thighs, teasing you with his tongue as he got closer to where you wanted him most.

“shhh… be patient, lovey…” he whispered, biting down on the top of your inner thigh.

His mouth reaches your pussy, licking a stripe up toward your clit- sucking on it softly. The sounds that you made bounced off the walls of you bedroom, your hands pulled at his hair as you moved him where you wanted him most.

“That’s it sweetheart, put me where ya want me…” his tongue swirled around your sensitive bud as you moved him along you; before he teased your sopping entrance with his fingers, slowly pumping them inside you and curling them along your sweet spot.

“Fuck! Billy…” you gasped, his motions bringing you close to the edge. Your fingers gripped tighter on his hair, making him groan against your cunt.

“Come f’me babe, fuckin’ come f’me…” Butcher growled, feeling your thighs encase his head between them as you came hard.

You saw stars, your body convulsing as the shocks of pleasure ran through you. Butcher lifted his head from between your legs, chuckling as he crawled back up to sit on his knees.

“You look so fuckin’ gorgeous like that…” he watched you from above as you steadied your breath, your hair and arms sprawled on the bed spread.

“Can you get on your hands and knees f’ me?” He rubbed his hand over your knee, looking down at you with a soft smile. You nodded, slowly scooting up and flipping yourself over to your stomach.

His hand smoothed over your back as you arched it, your ass up in the air waiting for him to take you. Billy smirked as his eyes studied the curves of your hips, his fingers gripping them.

“So fuckin’ beautiful…”

His cock teased your entrance before pushing himself inside, hearing your beautiful moans fill his ears as he thrusted.

The mattress squeaked from under you both as he took you, his hips grinding against yours as he quickened his pace. The symphony of your moans with the sounds of your skin smacking against his.

“fuck billy you feel so good…” You moaned, feeling butchers hand grip on your ass.

He chuckled at your words, smacking one of your cheeks playfully as he thrusted harder into you, feeling his release nearing.

He grunted louder as he was getting closer, feeling your walls tighten around him as his pushes against you began to be sloppy. Your breathing was hitching, indicating your release was near.

“i’m gonna cum sweetheart, god damn-“

He couldn’t hold back much longer as he spilled himself deep within you, your orgasm coming in like a tidle wave as you shook from the satisfaction.

As you regained your breath, Billy pulled you up from behind- pressing you against his chest, bringing his mouth to your ear.

“Happy Birthday love…” he whispered, his voice husky with lust.

“I ain’t done with you yet…”

[stevesherdaddynowlover]

just me and you [s.h.]

an: hiii just a little blurb based off what i think about when i listen to grapejuice by harry styles (very important to my lore) hope you enjoy!!

warnings: just kissing and fluff

wc: 1.8k

masterlist here!!!

You're perched on a bar stool in his kitchen, elbows pressed into the cool granite countertop and your feet dangle a foot from the ground, legs swinging lightly while you watch as he stirs a sauce that smells of garlic and spice, hip cocked to the side while he nods in time with the record you’ve put on. 

To your right you smile at the vase of flowers Steve had brought home for you, a bouquet of purples and blues that bring to mind days in bed with the windows open, curtains flowing and crisp fresh air swirling around you while you come in and out of sleep. 

Glasses of candy red wine, the best Italian according to Steve, sit in front of you, a light pink lip print from this morning's makeup that stains the side. Banfi Rosa Regale Brachetto, a mouthful for sure but Steve says the full name every time, butchering an Italian accent as he does. 

When he turns to you—wooden spoon in one hand and half full glass in the other, you take in his pink cheeks and wine marked lips. He looks like a Sunday afternoon, hair tousled from running his hands through the thick honey strands over and over, striped apron looped over his neck and tied in a bow around his waist. Bare Feet on the hardwood floors and a navy blue and white striped button down that’s half undone, light wash jeans snug on his hips and cuffed at his ankles. 

Sitting there with your hands cradling your cheeks, chin in your palm, you watch him float around the kitchen with an ease that lulls you into a sense of calmness you can only truly experience around him. The sun beams in through the kitchen window, curtains pulled back enough that it warms your skin and puts a gentle glow on his, tan and soft. 

He’s chopping vegetables in front of you now, head turning back like clockwork to make sure the sauce doesn’t burn but he always makes time to smile gently at you while you watch him work. You’re faintly aware of the song that’s drifting in from the living room but you’d much rather focus on the way it sounds coming from him, a gentle hum that vibrates from his chest and mixes with the wine to make you warm and fuzzy. 

You admire his forearms flexing just so with the knife in his hand, grip tight and eyes focused so it doesn’t slip from his grasp. He pops a piece of carrot into his mouth, the crunch breaking you from the spell he had you under. He meets your eyes with a wink, fingers moving closer to your mouth with a look of expectation in his eyes. 

“Open up, sweetness.” You do, mouth falling open and his thumb grazing your tongue when he slides the bite of carrot between your lips. You bite down, his hand patting your cheek in a silent praise before he goes back to cooking and you go back to admiring. 

Even though you’re not really sure what he’s doing and couldn’t prepare more than a box of mac and cheese to save your life, you never grow tired of watching him like this. It’s one of your favorite things, whether it be with a full house of friends and family or just the two of you like it is now. 

When the song changes a gasp pops from his lips and he’s rushing to turn down the stove before he glides over and sweeps you from your chair. One second you’re sitting there and the next you're in his arms while he pulls a flower from the vase behind you and snaps the bottom half off. He slips the stem behind your ear, grinning wide at the blush on your cheeks before tapping your nose with the tip of his finger and taking your hand in his. 

“Dance with me, yeah?” And you’d never say no to him, you don’t think you’re capable. One hand in yours and the other softly on your hip, he guided your head to rest against his chest, the rhythmic thud of his heartbeat felt on your cheek. You sway back and forth, his lips pressed against your forehead in a long, sweet kiss that has you melting into him. 

The petals of the blue poppy tickle at your skin but you don’t move to touch it. The two of you stand there gently moving past the end of the song and well into the next. Only when he remembers what he’d been doing before your dance does he pull away, going to stir the sauce and coming back to you just as fast. 

His hands go to your hips, pushing into you until your back digs into the counter. And then he’s lifting you up, sitting you on top and pushing everything to the side. He’s a few inches below you now, lip pulled between his teeth as he studies your face. Both of you have had a few glasses of wine, just affected enough that you’re extra smiley and can’t stop giggling. 

Pulling the flower from your hair you move to slip it behind his ear, his smile shy as he laces his fingers with yours and places quick pecks against the column of your throat. Undoing your hands so you can run your fingers through his hair, you smile at the smell of your shampoo, notes of coconut and citrus left on your fingertips. His hands fist at the sweater you’re wearing when you tug on his hair just hard enough to get his attention. 

When he brings his head from your chest you pull him up to you, pressing your lips to his in a slow kiss that leaves you breathless. Hints of raspberry and chocolate from the wine dance along your tongue when you swipe it across his bottom lip and you feel him smile against your mouth. He pulls back just to go in for another quick kiss, and then another, smirking at the way your mouth moves each time as if to chase his. 

“Tastes so sweet.”

“I think it’s the wine, Steve.” 

“No, baby, it's all you.” You shake your head at him, shoving him back just slightly so you can slip off the counter, moving back to your stool and rolling your eyes at the adorable pout on his cherry red lips that are now a little swollen from your kiss. 

“Get back to it, chef. I’m starved!” He salutes you, running his hands through his hair and going back to tending to the food while you admire the way the denim curves over his ass, hugging his thighs and making him look like a dream. One you think you’ve had many times before.

———-

Steve had insisted that the two of you eat outside, refusing to let you help with bringing out all the food. There’s a little table on the patio barely big enough for the two of you, two metal chairs warmed by the sun that Steve has pulled so they the legs are touching. 

An array of food in front of you, pasta and a meat sauce that smells divine, buttery garlic bread and cooked vegetables and an assortment of fruits all piled on top of each other. He’s coming through the back door now, the almost empty bottle of wine tucked under his arms and your now empty glasses balanced between his fingers. 

The apron he was wearing is thrown over the counter, dishes piled in the sink that you’ll wash later, his hip knocking playfully against yours while he dries them. He promised you chocolate covered strawberries for dessert and though they’re cooling in the fridge you can see a drop of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. 

When he finally sits down you swipe at it with your thumb, pulling it between your lips and humming in content at the sweetness. He’s looking at you sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders with a twinge of guilt but you just laugh, taking his hand in yours and pressing a kiss to his palm, then his wrist. 

It feels perfect out here, in more ways than one. The sun is warming your skin despite the breeze that wisps around you. It’s that time of day where it’s starting to get dark but it’s almost hazy out, the light fighting to stay. Steve’s switched the music and it filters through the house and out into the backyard, so low you’re not sure if you can really even hear it. 

And you’ve got Steve beside you, legs tangled together under the table and hands brushing against each other lazily while you eat the dinner he prepared for you. He’s grinning from ear to ear, smiling around a bite of garlic bread at the bit of sauce that’s somehow ended up on the tip of your nose. 

As much as you cherish being around your loved ones, having a house full of laughter and electricity and banter, you savor these moments of just the two of you. When it’s so quiet you can hear the softness of his breathing or the little noises his mouth makes when he’s focused on something. You love to listen to the sound of his laughter when you tell a bad joke or something happens in a show he’s watching. 

You wish you could bottle up the way it feels when he looks at you like nothing else exists, like you’re all he knows and that’s enough for him. He watches you sometimes, lip between his teeth and a look in his eye like you’ve hung the moon. 

Love doesn’t seem to do it justice. It’s all consuming and overbearing in the best way possible. Sometimes he can just glance at you and that’s all it takes. You could be at the grocery store or the farmers market or a family dinner and when he looks at you from across the room and smiles it takes your breath away and it’s like you can feel the adoration for him running through your veins. 

You’ve never felt it before him and you know you’d never feel it after him—not that you plan on ever knowing what that’s like. 

It’s just you and him. 

And when your plates are cleared and the dishes are put away, the bottle of wine finished and the both of you are more than tipsy, you feel happy. It’s how you find yourself sitting across from each other on the kitchen floor, all the lights off and only the glow of the open refrigerator surrounding you. He’s fed you enough chocolate covered strawberries to make your teeth ache and your belly is sore from laughing at the melted chocolate you’ve swiped across his chin and his nose. 

He tries to pretend like he’s annoyed but fails, gripping your face in his hands and bumping his nose with yours so both of you are covered in chocolate, loud laughs turning into quiet giggles until you’re slumped against each other, sticky with strawberry juice and melted chocolate, hands looped together the whole time.