#Strip out Services Sydney | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snnrinc · 2 years

Text

Made for Sin

Minors DNI

• Pairing: Corrupt!M!Sydney x F!Reader

• Excerpt: His eyes were now focused on you and on every expression that you were making, on the way your muscles tensed, how your chest was bouncing in time with his thrusts. His hair had started to fall onto his face and his brows were furrowed in concentration. He looked so fucking hot when he was like this, ready to devour you, watching intently as your back arched off the bed when he hit a particularly nice spot. The way the twilight sun hit your curves had him under a spell, tracing the outline of your body with his eyes before one of his hands followed the same trail, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

"My love," he growled. "You have a body made for sin."

• Warnings: NSFW, overstimulation, creampie, oral (f receiving), slight dubcon. But let's be honest, this is DoL we're talking about, what ISN'T a warning?

• Word count: 5.9k

Voices rumbled amidst the large hall, an amalgam of words that fused into each other only to become meaningless, background noise. People shuffled from their seats as the service finished, approaching the exit of the hall while chatting amongst themselves, leaving only a few people to remain seated in the pews, some with their hands clasped together in silent prayer, others simply basking in the silence of the holy temple.

Seated somewhere near the front seats was a young man, fingers intertwined and pressed against his lips, eyes closed in concentration. He was thankful once the commotion died down, hoping to finally be able to focus more on his prayer, but he soon realised that his thoughts were running too wild and simple silence was not enough to bring him peace. On the contrary, the more he kept his eyes closed, the louder his mind got. The more he tried to concentrate on his prayer, the more his thoughts unconsciously morphed into the image of a beautiful person.

The image of you.

Sydney opened his eyes and sighed in frustration. He moved to rest his chin on his clasped hands, opting to distract himself for a while by looking at the various portraits of saints that were decorating the wall in front of him. The paintings were beautiful, golden hand-crafted wood framing them and giving them a regal, almost ethereal look. Normally, he would stare at such brilliance and feel peace and purity radiate from them and settling deep into his soul, soothing his pain and sorrows. But now, a simple glance left him feel cold, disinterested. Disconnected.

Was it because of you?

Was it you that took the place of the holy images, of the promises of salvation, of all-powerful idols that could tame and purge all that is wrong in the world? Was it you that settled in his heart oh-so-delicately, that now the only idol he could think could bring him peace and salvation, the only idol he could get down on his knees and worship, was you?

Was it you that overtook his mind and stripped him of any sort of dignity or shame he had left, baring all the primal instincts that had been buried so deep inside in a dark corner of his mind?

Oh, but he couldn't care less. Not when he got to be buried so deep inside of-

Sydney let out another sigh at his intrusive thought. This was getting ridiculous. You were the only thing he could think about. You and the things he would do for you, with you, to you.

He couldn't understand why you had such power over him, and frankly, he wasn't sure he needed to understand. But you existing in his life, by his side, shook him to the core in a way he did not know how to manage, his emotions swirling in his mind until he could not tell them apart from each other. He was in love, that was for sure. His heart fluttered whenever you brushed your hand against his, he melted on the spot whenever you planted a small, innocent kiss on his cheek or forehead. And seeing you smile at him, hearing you laugh at one of his jokes, sent him to cloud nine, making him feel like everything was right in the world when you were together.

But... his heart was not the only one affected. In his mind he would always envision you during these sweet moments, under him, your hand grasping his and holding onto it tight as you writhed beneath him, chanting an almost delirious chain of 'I love you, I love you, I love you', bodies tangled and so lost into each other that he didn't know where he ended and you began, as he claimed you as his beloved again, and again, and again. And you always looked so beautiful, warm, like the sun was caressing his skin with every touch of your fingers, like flower petals dragged over his most sensitive spots whenever you kissed him, like you and him were the only people to exist in the world.

He could no longer tell love and lust apart. Was this even lust? Was it adoration? Was it wrong for him to feel so strongly for you, so much so that you were more important to him than his vows?

Sydney let his hands fall into his lap, taking in a shaky breath to try to calm down his racing thoughts and pounding heart. He could feel the start of a headache pulsating painfully as he brought his fingers to his temples to massage them, allowing himself a moment of quiet before his thoughts slipped again.

Why did it even matter that his vows were broken? You did this to him. And he wouldn't have it any other way. He was happy to finally not be a sheltered, innocent little boy anymore. You showed him how beautiful sin could be, how good it could feel, but you also showed him how ugly the reality of the world was. The lives you two led were vastly different, and for a second Sydney allowed himself to shoot an angry, flaming look at the paintings in front of him, almost as if admonishing the Heavens for putting you through all the pain and suffering you had to endure. He almost couldn't believe himself, but at that moment he felt that all his prayers and desperate pleas for salvation were falling on deaf ears.

But you always heard him.

And he was glad to return the favour, always happy to let you use him when you reached your breaking point, always willing to welcome you in his arms and keep you safe, away from anything and anyone who may cause you harm. His heart was breaking every time you'd reach out with a shaky hand, your tearful eyes staring into his own, desperate, pleading, silently asking him why? Why you? Why always you?

The image made his heart clench, his eyes closing and brows furrowing before a gentle touch on his shoulder made his eyes snap open again. He looked to his side wide-eyed, almost as if he was scared he was saying his innermost thoughts out loud, but his expression quickly softened when he saw your smiling face next to him, giving him a little wave and a gentle 'hi'.

He smiled softly. "My love."

He scooted over to make space for you to sit down. Once you settled in your place, Sydney took your hand in his and kissed your cheek, smiling wide at your loving expression.

"I missed you," he said, intertwining his fingers with yours.

You giggled. "So soon? But we're already spending most of our time together at school. We see each other so often!"

"If I don't spend every moment with you, it's not nearly often enough."

You felt your cheeks warm up as he brought your hand to his lips, pressing them against your knuckles softly while staring deeply into your eyes. At the intensity of his gaze, your eyes shifted away for a split second before returning to his, earning a knowing smirk from your boyfriend. Fuelled by your reaction, he tugged your hand a bit higher so his lips had more access, leaving a trail of kisses up your forearm, his other hand gently grasping your upper arm so he could pull you closer. Just as he reached your inner elbow, he was stopped by your louder than intended exclamation:

"I brought food!"

Gasping at the realisation of your volume, you looked around to see if anyone noticed and sighed in relief when you saw the other churchgoers focused on their prayers. You looked back at Sydney who was now just affectionately rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, looking at you with a soft expression. It was only now that he noticed you brought a bag with you.

"I brought food," you repeated, quieter this time. "I know you've been working really hard and I'm willing to bet you haven't eaten anything today."

A sheepish smile crept on his face. "Please don't be too mad at me, love."

Your shoulders slumped in disappointment and you gave him a stern look. "Sydney!" you clicked your tongue. "I told you you need to take care of yourself more! At this rate, you'll pass out in the middle of the temple at any moment."

Sydney let go of your hand and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer and burying his face into your neck. "I know, darling, I'm sorry for making you worry. I promise I'll be good and eat what you brought for me."

"Yeah right," you scoffed. "Just like you did yesterday, when you said you'd eat the homemade pie I made for you just so I could find it today, in the same place, with only one bite taken out of it?"

Sydney squeezed you a little tighter in an attempt to make you soften and stop your scolding.

"Or like on Monday, when I brought you some sandwiches and you said you'll keep them for later only to forget about them," you continued. "I found them in your drawer at the library counter. Mouldy."

You crossed your arms over your chest and moved to look at Sydney. He looked up at you with doe eyes and pouted, detaching himself from you and twiddling his fingers.

You raised an eyebrow at him, expectantly. He sighed in defeat.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, okay? Please stop looking so mad," he reached out and grasped your hand. "I promise I'll eat whatever you prepared this time. Just give me the bag and I'll-"

"Oh, no, not today," you pulled your hand out from his and stood up, gathering your stuff and the bag with Sydney's food in the process. "Today we'll eat together. It seems there's no other way to convince you to eat more than just the amount needed to stay alive than to feed you myself."

Your words stirred something in him. He looked up at you teasingly as his lips stretched into a smirk.

"Oh, so that was your plan all along, huh? Not just because you care about me?" he chuckled when you snapped your attention to him, furrowing your brows.

"Don't get cocky, love. I'm still mad at you."

With a chuckle, he stood up and grabbed your hand. He offered to carry the bag for you before leading you outside of the hall.

Your giggles resonated in the kitchen when Sydney kept tickling your shoulder with his hair as he kissed your neck.

"Stop it!" your tone meant to be serious, but you couldn't force the smile off your face. He giggled as you almost dropped the ingredients you were setting up from squirming so much. "Sydney, come on!"

"I'm sorry, I just can't resist kissing you."

As he let go of you, you turned around to smile at him sweetly. Your eyes admired his golden ones for a few moments before travelling down to his white shirt, the first three buttons open and allowing a glimpse of the chain of his holy pendant.

"You should change your shirt if you want to help," you said, turning your attention to preparing the ingredients once more. "It'll get dirty."

"Oh? Should I take it off then?"

"I'm just saying it's a nice shirt. I don't want to ruin it."

"I do," you threw him a look and he giggled. "I'll take care of laundry then. I'll give you some spare clothes."

"Oh, you don't have to, really! I'll just go home and wash them."

"Oh..."

At the sound of his disappointed tone, you looked over your shoulder to see him leaning on the table, his stance deflated. You saw his bottom lip come out slightly in a pout.

You turned towards him. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing, I was just..." he looked back at you. "I was hoping you could spend the night."

His doe eyes brought a warm smile to your face. You wiped your hands on a towel and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pecking his nose. Your actions made him smile and hug you close to him. Leaning forward, you pecked his nose again, before planting a quick kiss over his lips and moving to look at him. His expression suddenly changed, half-lidded, hazy eyes looking at you as if in a trance. You could feel it, too - the way the air around got thicker and you had to let out heavy breaths, lest you suffocate. One of his hands moved up to remove his glasses and place them somewhere on the table behind him, his other hand reaching up to rest on the side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheek before he leaned in, placing his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. You didn't hesitate to respond, pressing yourself against his body and parting your lips out of habit, demanding more of him.

He was more than happy to deliver.

Sliding his tongue past your burning lips, the hand that was caressing you moved to the back of your head, grasping your hair and pulling softly to get better access to your mouth. You moved in unison, your hands moving up and down his back before one of them settled in his hair. His other hand slid down your side to grasp your ass, earning a soft moan in return. Fuelled by the sounds you made, he pushed forward, making your back hit the edge of the counter on which you were working a few minutes ago. You felt his hands leave you for a second to find purchase on the back of your thighs, hiking you onto the counter. You suddenly remembered what you were there for.

"Mmh, Syd-" you tried to speak, but his lips wouldn't let you. "Syd, we-" kiss, "we were..." kiss, "we're supposed to-" kiss, "be cooking..." kiss.

"Later."

"No," you gently placed your hands on his chest and pushed him enough to get his attention. "You've already had nothing to eat today. You promised."

Seeing your frowning face made him detach himself from you, leaving only his hands to hold onto your thighs. You could see his apologetic expression and you didn't want him to feel bad, so instead you pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek sweetly. He took advantage of your closeness to hold onto you tight.

"Please..." he whispered against your ear. "I missed you."

His needy voice made you shudder. You'd be lying if you said that hours upon hours of gentle kisses, fleeting touches and stolen glances at each other didn't rile you up to the point that everything the man in front of you was doing or saying was sending electricity throughout your veins, right down to your core. With how desperately he was clinging to you and how fast his heart was beating, he must've been starving, the poor sweetheart, starving for your touch, your attention, for your soft voice whispering to him, for your love. He was starving for you. And how could you deny him when you were there to take care of him in the first place?

A shaky sigh found its way out of your throat when you opened your mouth to speak. "Sydney..."

"Fuck-"

Before either of you could say anything else, his lips were on you again, hands undoing your apron and pulling at your clothes, grasping and caressing any part of you that he could reach. You unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it over his shoulders, urging him to discard it to the ground as you ran your hands over his arms and chest. A moan vibrated in his throat at the feeling of your palms on his bare skin and your hot body pressed into his, the sound pouring over into you and filling your lungs until you were drowning in him. You never thought loving someone could feel this intense.

As much as you loved making out with Sydney on every surface available, you knew that sooner or later the counter would get uncomfortable, and you didn't want your time in heaven to end so soon because of such inconvenience. So you gently buried your fingers in Sydney's hair, pulling him away slightly to finally catch your breath and his attention.

"Sydney, take me to bed. Now."

Nodding quickly, the man made sure your legs were tightly locked around his waist before he grabbed your ass and lifted you from the counter, blindly walking towards his bedroom as his lips found yours again in a heated kiss. Reaching his room, Sydney turned to face the opposite way and kicked the door he left ajar fully open, walking backwards into his room to make sure it doesn't swing shut and hurt you. He had half a mind to leave the door as it is and just take you as soon as possible, but eventually made sure to close it and lock it quickly, just in case Sirris would come home early. As he took a few more hurried steps into his room, one of his arms slid up your back to rest on the nape of your neck, giving you one last kiss before carefully lowering you on the bed as if you were a treasure he was scared to break. Once you were comfortably settled, Sydney hovered over you, watching, scanning over your entire body, the way you were sprawled out on his bed, looking up at him with such lustful eyes. His scrutinising gaze made you feel as if you already were completely bare in front of him, completely at his mercy.

"Syd," under the pressure, you broke the silence, his eyes shifting to yours. His stare was intense, focused, and the corner of his lip lifted in a smirk.

"Finally, I have you all to myself," his hands found their way to your sides, rubbing up and down. "You look so good in my bed, darling."

You whined at his words and he let out a shaky breath at the sound. His hands found their way under your shirt, lifting it up to reveal your plain bra. You sat up, helping him fully remove your top and bra, leaving your upper half bare for him to see. Under his fiery gaze, you almost felt the urge to cover yourself out of embarrassment , but you had no time to even think about it before his hands were on you, pushing you back onto the bed and burying his face into your soft flesh. His mouth found one of your nipples and his tongue circled it, licking, sucking, biting as his hand was on your other breast.

With a moan, your hands found purchase in his hair and back. You could feel the hot skin of his chest pressed against your abdomen and the closeness was driving you mad. You felt his tongue give you one last lick before he moved his mouth under your breast, biting softly on the flesh and leaving a mark.

Your legs moved up, thighs pressing to the sides of his waist as he looked up at you with hungry eyes. He pressed his tongue near the top of your stomach and dragged it upwards, stopping between your breasts and watching as you bit your lip and tried not to whine at the feeling. He smiled and chuckled at the sight, leaning forward to capture your lips into a passionate kiss.

His body was pressed flush against yours, hands moving up and down your abdomen and chest, grazing your nipples and grabbing at the softness of your flesh. It was driving him wild, feeling your hot skin stuck to his, a thin layer of sweat already adorning your body. He could feel your moans vibrating against his lips and chest, and he didn't think he could get any harder, but he already felt like he would burst any second. And yet, he needed more.

One of his hands failed to return upwards as he was caressing you, instead dipping beneath the fabric of your trousers, pulling them down along with your panties in a firm and swift movement. You felt his lower half raise slightly from you, your hips following his movement to allow him to remove the garments entirely, before he threw them on the ground carelessly and grabbed hold of your thighs, spreading your legs and lowering his body on you once more. The entire time, his lips refused to leave yours, moving passionately against your mouth, pouring his love into you.

You felt his hand slowly slither lower, fingers finally touching your core, making you yelp from the sudden feeling and dig your nails into his shoulder. His fingers slowly started rubbing circles on your clit for a brief moment, before he dipped his hand lower to run them against your soaking entrance, lubricating them and slowly dragging them back up teasingly. You mewled as he started applying pressure again, his mouth moving to your neck to nip and suck on your skin. Your body felt like it caught fire as his fingers worked you up the way he knew you liked. Your breathing erratic, you let out soft moans shamelessly into his ear, and you could feel his chest reverberating against you with his own groans echoing yours. Moving his hand lower to drag it across your entire core, you let out a particularly loud moan before you pressed your mouth into his shoulder to cover up any other sounds.

He chuckled, a smile pressing against your neck. "Did you like that, darling? Hm?" you felt his teeth graze your skin softly, sending a shiver through your body. You let out a shaky curse. "Fuck, you're driving me crazy... I love hearing you moan for me like that."

You felt his fingers move once again, rubbing against your entrance as his mouth continued to kiss and suck on your skin. Sydney's mouth moved to your shoulder, then your collarbone, then slowly dipped lower towards your breasts.

"I wonder," he spoke between kisses, "what other sounds can your body make?"

You could feel his smile pressed against your skin as he pushed a finger inside, relishing in the lewd sounds of your moans and your soaking heat. Giving you a few pumps, he pushed another finger in before he started fucking you, occasionally flexing his fingers to touch your sweet spot.

You let go of your last shred of shame, moving your hips in time with his hand, chasing your release as his lips moved across your neck. Pressing your mouth on his shoulder, you started to kiss upwards towards his ear before you gently bit his earlobe and moaned at his shiver. Goosebumps spread across his skin and that was enough for him to push another finger into your heat and fuck you with renewed vigor, rubbing his thumb on your clit. You were practically dripping, and he loved the wet, sloppy sounds that your sex was making from him toying with you. He loved having such an effect on you.

With a gasp and quickly getting closer to your release, you managed to snake your hand in between your bodies and past the band of his pants to grab his length and pump it. Breathing quickened, you felt your muscles tense before the coil in your stomach snapped, your walls clenching around his fingers and your hand pulling at his soft strands of hair, the other absentmindedly rubbing the head of his cock.

"Fu-uck!" his hips sputtered and he let out a high pitch moan. "N-not yet."

As you were coming down from your high, you looked up at him with a hazy vision. He retreated his hand from your heat in favour of ridding himself of the rest of his clothes, then grabbing the back of your thighs and pushing them towards your chest, standing up so he could look at the mess he made out of you with eyes that were almost glowing.

You couldn't help but stare. The soft rays from the setting sun were hitting the side of his face and almost making him look like he was donning a halo. His eyes looked like pools of honey and his bare chest was rising up and down, glowing from the sweat beads adorning his skin. As disgusting as you would've thought it would sound - had you not been high on lust - in that moment, you felt the inherent need to have your tongue on his skin, if only to feel his pulse quicken and the shivers of his flesh in time with his moans.

When you looked back at his eyes, you could see him gaze at you with the same unbridled hunger. You felt the tip of his shaft rub against your slit and his eyes started to lose focus. Slowly, he pushed forward into your heat, eyes rolling to the back of his head as both of you let out sinful sounds from the way his sex was stretching you oh-so-deliciously.

It wasn't long before he set a steady pace, snapping his hips toward you to reach deep within your walls so you could feel him fully. Your hands grasped at whatever you could find - bedsheets, your chest, his waist, his forearms, and when you looked up at him you saw his gaze changed again.

You knew you were in trouble.

His eyes were now focused on you and on every expression that you were making, on the way your muscles tensed, how your chest was bouncing in time with his thrusts. His hair had started to fall onto his face and his brows were furrowed in concentration. He looked so fucking hot when he was like this, ready to devour you, watching intently as your back arched off the bed when he hit a particularly nice spot. The way the twilight sun hit your curves had him under a spell, tracing the outline of your body with his eyes before one of his hands followed the same trail, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

"My love," he growled. "You have a body made for sin."

You moaned at his remark and he smirked, lifting one of your legs up so he could reach even deeper within you and rub continuously at the spot that was sending wave after wave of shivers down your body. And fuck- the way his abs flexed as he was pounding into you, the way his hands gripped the meat of your hips so hard it was leaving marks to help you meet his thrusts, the way his holy pendant was swinging and hitting his chest as he was fucking you relentlessly, it was overwhelming in the most carnal way and you loved it. Your eyes focused on his pendant for a second longer, a symbol of purity on a backdrop of sin, and you had no idea why it only served to turn you on more.

"So good~" you moaned as your back arched once again. " 'M close, ah! Sydney!"

"Yeah?" his voice was raspy and breathless. "You gonna cum for me, beloved? Oh, yes, please, please give yourself to me!" His thrusts started becoming hastier in an attempt to chase both of your climaxes. His voice was choked and his breathing was becoming more and more erratic, it was like music to your ears. "I want you, I love you! Cum for me, cum on my cock like the good girl that you are."

And then you felt it again, a sudden surge throughout your body as your leg that was not on his shoulder and your hands were fighting to keep him inside you. Your walls clenched around his length and he let out a choked cry, hips stumbling before you felt him fill you up with a few more deep pumps. His body fell on top of you, completely spent, and you felt his hand grasp yours and interlace your fingers.

You were suddenly overcome by a small fit of giggles and he looked up at you from your shoulder, smiling at your beaming face, your eyes closed in bliss.

"That felt good?" he asked.

"Mhmmm."

You snuggled your face in his cheek for a second, giving him sweet pecks, before he turned and placed a chaste kiss on your lips. You hummed in pleasure and let your arm fall around his neck, keeping him close to you and feeling your sore body beginning to relax.

You felt his kisses trail down the column of your neck and on your chest. When you felt him grab your thighs and parting them your eyes snapped open.

"W-wait, Sydney! What are you doing?"

He didn't answer, instead looking at your quivering core and how his cum dripped out of you, down your ass and staining the sheets beneath you. You saw his tongue dart out to wet his lips and you recognised that look.

Now you really were in trouble.

You remembered that day in the temple when he had claimed you as his lover and given himself to you in return. You remembered the ravenous look in his eyes and the smog that turned him wild with lust. This time, you were in the comfort of his bedroom, nowhere near that sacred prayer room, and yet he was gripping your flesh with the same determination and hunger as when you first defiled him.

Lowering his body on the bed, his cock brushed against your leg and you realised he was still hard. You scrambled to push yourself up into a sitting position, stuttering out useless pleads for him to let you rest a bit, one hand on his shoulder to push him away from between your legs. You felt your tired muscles shake and goosebumps overtake your skin when he looked up at you from under his lashes, a wicked smile spreading on his beautiful lips before his arms pulled your body towards him roughly, forcing you to fall back onto the bed.

"I don't think you understand, lover," he spoke, tone dangerously laced with honey. "I'm not done with you yet. And I won't be until I make sure you're thoroughly fucked into this mattress and forget how to even speak."

His arms were holding your legs locked across his shoulders, one arm spread across your stomach, effectively holding you in place and leaving no chance of escape. You tried to close your thighs on his head and pull on his hair, hoping the pressure and pain will push him away, but it only earned you a lewd moan from the man before he chuckled darkly.

"You really think that's gonna stop me?" he gave your clit a kiss and you gasped at the sensation. "No chance, lover. So go ahead, be as rough as you need to be, take anything you want from me and fucking use me."

You let out a choked moan when his tongue dragged over your overstimulated folds, his hands kneading your thighs and keeping you from pulling away. It was futile to fight it and you knew it, mind and body torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. His tongue lapping and sucking at your core had you seeing stars, his groans vibrating on your sex and before you knew it, it felt like the entire world was spinning. Your jumbled thoughts could not be put into words, and anything coming out of your mouth were either sinful moans or praise and pleads, an incoherent string of "fuck, Syd, please, 's too much!" and "there, yes, oh fuck, right there, so good!"

Sydney was just as far gone as you were, drinking in all the sounds that you were making and lapping at the mess that you both made, a sense of pride swelling in his chest knowing how he was the only one who could do this to you. The only one who could defile you and who could be defiled by you. He loved you. He needed you. He needed more.

His tongue circled your entrance a few times before plunging in you, his thumb from the hand he had spread on your stomach lowering to rub your clit and you let out a sob from the overwhelming feeling. The way his arm was holding your hips down made it impossible for you to thrash around, sweat dripping down your body and breathing laboured.

Before you knew it, you came with a shout of his name and pulled at his hair. He moaned, but refused to stop, and from the way the shivers kept cascading down your body and your muscles ached, you felt like you were about to pass out. You were now a puddle in his hands, speaking in tongues, and you had no more power in your arms to fight, only to pull at his strands mindlessly.

He reached out with his other hand, groaning like man drunk on lust, and replaced his tongue with his fingers, his mouth now on your clit as his hips snapped against the mattress searching for relief. You couldn't even tell if you just came again or if you had a prolonged orgasm, brain mush and body ablaze with heat. The world was melting and the only thing you felt was your lover leaving his mark on your body with his.

You were radiating, and he was drinking you in like you were an oasis in the middle of the desert, basking in your light, your sounds, your smell, your heat. Soon, his hips started slowing down as he spilled his load on the bedsheets, the flame within his body only now relenting and allowing him to take a deep breath and relax his tense muscles.

Using his last bits of energy, he slowly detached himself from you and pushed himself up towards you, falling into the comfort of his pillows. Sydney took a mental note to change his bedding as soon as he regained his strength, but when he glanced up at you, his brain stopped functioning again. Your eyes were closed, swollen lips parted slightly as you caught your breath, your eyelashes gently brushing against your blushing cheeks as a few strands of hair fell down your face.

He thought you looked gorgeous.

Sydney reached out, gently brushing your messy hair behind your ear before he snaked his arms around you and pulled you to his chest. He placed a kiss on the top of your head, murmuring sweet words of praise and love. His fingers started massaging your scalp and you melted in his embrace, welcoming his touch once again.

Sydney worshipped you. You were the light of his life, the idol he venerated, the only one who could put his heart in a chokehold, and with you snuggled in his arms, safe and sound, he knew what true happiness meant. True salvation, devoid of the teachings of the temple. And as he held you close to his heart, he realised something.

His God was dead. You killed Him. And with no one else left to save you two, he'd make sure you save each other.

#degrees of lewdity #sydney smut #sydney the fallen #sydney the faithful #degrees of lewdity x reader #dol x reader #sydney x reader #dol smut #dol sydney

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minsungchronology · 8 months

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My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2023)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

I feel like this is the year where they’re as blatant as they possibly get.

This year, a lot more eyebrow raising moments come about. Ironically, a lot of them completely go under the radar under more popular moments (I.e: the neck kiss) that can be explained away as normal skinship (Han has kissed other members on the neck before) or even fanservice.

LK and Han seem a lot more settled into themselves as the year progresses. However, a lot of the habits we’ve seen of them have not changed one bit. The way they act (in concerts especially) directly parallels to how they were during all of those fansigns back in 2018. They’re always goofing off together, always finding ANY kind of way to interact. Sometimes I don’t even think they realize they’re in their “own world” at times cause it seems so habitual at this point. Someone who has seen the group in person has said it’s a lot more (extreme?) if you drift off to the side and pay close attention to those two.

This year (I don’t put fan sightings or airport pics, except the Jeju one lmao) there’s been an array of fan sightings (+ a few direct stories of their hangouts) of them during their off time as well. Like in previous years, they always seem to find a way to spend time together outside of work.

Now for a moment that I haven’t seen being talked about a lot:

Apart from their concert shenanigans, I think this one is one of the most telling. It’s during the YT live they have before Lollapalooza with Seungmin and I.N – the one where LK has the zoomies. LK asks Han for his hotel room number and Han laughs because he obvs can’t give it away on live (a lot of people freaked out about this but that’s not the part that made me raise my eyebrows at all, there was nothing questionable about that imo). It’s Seungmin’s reaction, rather. As soon as LK/Han are within a closer distance and Han responds, he literally scoots up closer to the camera to block them and stays frozen for a while. I tried to think of any other reason why that happened, but nothing else seems to come to mind.

Moments that got a kick out of me:

Han stomping his feet as soon as LK strips off his coat (for him, not for the fans 😭😭😭) during Sydney day 2, as he was watching him through the big screen.

LK being V.I.P to Han’s muscles and blatantly checking him out before Han covers himself up during the one of the later dome tour concerts.

Han twirling his butt for LK (im not making this up) during the soundcheck before the second Los Angeles concert and the look LK gives him as he’s approaching. 😵‍💫

And the long-awaited moment I’ve been itching to talk about. Maniac Tour - Sydney day 1.

Hooo boy.

There’s a lot to unpack, but I don’t want to go into details at all, for good reason (I think it’s pretty clear if you watch the clips). The way they were acting throughout that concert had me speechless, like they couldn’t turn off their giddiness for one second. Take a shot every time Han’s butt gets smacked/touched in that day alone. LK getting on YT live a couple of days after and trying to explain the ~lower body workout~ they had. If you notice how nervous he was trying to explain himself- 😵‍💫

Han couldn’t even sit down prop– *gunshots*

But anyways, it’s the most sus moment between them I’ve ever seen.

And 5-Star promotions. It was a time when Han was feeling noticeably under the weather. If you watch all throughout that period, Lee Know is so attentive and watchful of him. While Han strikes me as a “words” kind of person (case in point: their 2 kids show episode, Han was doing most of the talking lmao), Lee Know comes across as an “acts of service” type of guy. You’re not really going to hear him wax poetic about the members, but you’ll see his love for them through his actions. This is so evident here. You can see how much LK cares about him; the love he has for Han has always been so obvious, since the beginning.

From what we’re able to see, LK never seems to pressure (or even playfully tease) Han to act a certain way. He lets him be, all while being super attentive and being playful/funny as a way to make him feel better.

Also, Han being the one to write and share “Want So Bad” (+ the times during the tour where he pointed at LK when fans would show him husband/boyfriend/girlfriend posters; I wasn't able to find the footage paired w/ the posters of those moments unfortunately) makes all of this so bittersweet. Especially when you look back at his reactions towards LK in 2018 with anything “flirty” or potentially anything that toes the platonic line (i.e: the feelings discussion in the 1st 2KR). Having that little insight really pieces a lot of things together, especially when you go back and watch their moments from previous years. Again, they've come so far. 😭😭

My personal opinion:

I believe this is the year they want us to know, or rather the fans who have long suspected something going on between them.

Here, they’re at their 5th year of being idols (almost 6 years as a group). At this point, they know just how much they can get away with. The act of shipping is pretty ubiquitous amongst different groups because of the conditions we see them in (members are in constant close proximity with each other and we constantly see them interact). Which makes it easy for fans to partake in the act of shipping. These guys have been shipped with each other (and with other members!) for years now.

Skinship, Shipping, and “Bromance” isn’t exactly discouraged at all either. There’s a long history of fans shipping idols together, within and outside of their groups. Fanservice surrounding this is also widespread. I’ve followed enough groups over the years to notice certain/similar patterns amongst the shipping side of the fanbase and the idols concerned.

Which is where Minsung come in.

A few of the things they do (or the group as a whole, rather) can be passed off as just that (some of the 'ments at the Japan DOME concert tour come to mind), but a lot of things we’ve seen over the years cannot be explained away with FS or even SKZ-typical skinship and flirting. The “slip-ups” (I.e: Sydney day 1 lmfao) and the consistent patterns of their behavior I’ve compiled throughout these videos (I.e: LKs behavior in 2018, 2022, and 2023, especially) are at the tip of the iceberg.

There’s the “you’re my boyfriend, too” moment. The reason why I believe it made the final cut in the vlog was because it’s directly quoted from a show (also telling of how clever LK is). A moment like this could easily be written off as FS, however, it’s their reactions to it all that make me believe it’s legitimately a safe but clever way of saying something (before the more blatant Want So Bad was even written). As soon as LK jokingly says that his Gimpo friend is his boyfriend, he looks straight at Han and says “right?”, as if trying to egg on a reaction from him. Han visibly looks taken aback, like he was almost about to choke on his food, probably not expecting LK at all to say anything like that. But Han (probably also familiar with that quote) says “What about me?”. And LK responds accordingly.

Also, Felix/Changbin did a SKZ record love duet a couple of years back. Chan also suggested Felix do one with him during a (2KR?) episode. He recently released one with I.N too. It’s not exactly foreign to them.

Artists of the opposite sex collab on love songs/duets all the time. But I obviously don’t think any of the other members are more than platonic in any way shape or form because they don’t have consistent actual eyebrow raising moments that can’t be explained away with SKZ’s usual brand of jokey and/or playful flirting (i.e: CB/HJ’s dynamic), their no-boundary skinship, or run-of-the-mill fanservice that’s not unusual in the industry.

Opinions on the 2 Kids Show Episode (cause someone asked me about it and I thought it would be appropriate to add it onto here):

FIRST THINGS FIRST…

I am shocked by the near lack of teasing from Changbin. I thought he was going to go all the way with the teasing (in a similar fashion LK did with Felix and CB). He did get a few couple of things in though (Like how Han said he was too tired to go back to his dorm after he hung out with LK even though they live a floor apart) and CB being like “ooooh wow that’s a creative excuse”.

I’m also surprised, but not surprised by the vague description of “Want So Bad” from Han. First, during his Q&A on bubble, and then during the 2KS episode. To me, that speaks volumes. Especially when you compare it with how Han normally speaks about his work and with how other members (who also did love songs) spoke about their own duets.

And them saying certain things about their bond, but then kind of contradicting themselves minutes later is interesting??? A lot of things were kept vague-ish throughout the episode - compare with Felix/Changbin being more open/specific about their friendship and joking about certain things like the pre debut kiss vs Minsung being more lowkey-ish.

If Minsung just released “Want So Bad” without doing much of anything questionable, then I would honestly believe they are just friends because, again, love duets aren’t exactly foreign to the group.

But take all of the genuinely eyebrow raising moments + the love song (and its more specific lyrics, i.e: the cosmos flower mention; get closer I'm not playing around) + the near lack of/vaguer discussion compared to other SKZ records/try to compare their "discussion" to I.N/Chan's and Felix/Changbin's + Han specifically saying as he went over the lyrics he was reminded of LK. It paints a pretty damning picture IMO.

Which is why I believe they’re using whatever they have within their means (the pervasive shipping culture, the industry’s familiarity with fanservice, other things that overlap with what other members have done/said in the past like the the duets, etc.) to say as much as they can possibly say without damaging their careers and possibly the careers of the people surrounding them.

#minsung #this is a lot longer than i thought it would be

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baelonthebrave · 1 year

Text

salt fat acid heat

continuation of spearmint and nicotine

sydney/richie [Ao3]

word count: 2,473

rating: gen

summary: Sydney reflects on the people who made her.

warnings: post Season 2, angst, referenced child abuse, mental illness, grief

Sydney picked up a copy of Salt Fat Acid Heat when she was 22, fresh out of school and still with a firm residence on the bottom rung of the culinary ladder. The smell of thyme had become a stink to her, so pervasive in the way it clung to her hair and underneath her fingernails as she spent hours everyday just stripping the leaves off their little branches, forming one part of many in the marinade for jerk chicken.

Whatever. She’d kind of prepared herself for this. Kept her head down and showed the sous that she could do what she was told and do it well, so that next week or next month she could be upgraded to scotch bonnets.

It was on a day off, when her mind had somewhat recovered from the numbing activity of stripping thyme leaves, that she picked up the book. Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking. It was for home cooks, really, and didn’t contain much technical learning that hadn’t already been drilled into her in school, but inso never went wrong, a fresh way of looking at something she’d already considered a thousand times before. A new philosophy and, if she was being honest, something to remind herself that she loved food, loved cooking, which had more to it than prepping herbs.

Besides, it put a warm feeling in her to see someone from outside the major European culinary traditions - Samin Nosrat, the cover stated - making a name for herself. Honestly, if Sydney had to listen to one more Italian guy act like his connection to and understanding of cooking was just so much more in-depth and spiritual than hers because of his heritage, her knife was going to slip and remove a finger. Good luck carrying on Nonna’s legacy with only half your right hand, you pretentious dick.

The book followed her after that, from restaurant to restaurant, from her own place and her own business back to her childhood bedroom, never straying far from her bedside table. Part of a stack of inspiration and a stack of resilience. Keep going, it said, keep going. You were made for this. It’s not supposed to be easy. Keep going.

At a certain point, those words - salt, fat, acid, heat - became ubiquitous in her life. All day, every day, variations fell from her mouth at different volumes and levels of urgency. They followed her out of the kitchen, coming home with her like the carefully wrapped and lovingly sharpened blades in her bag. They were everywhere, just like food, service, love was everywhere.

And they became a part of her philosophy, the fabric of her life.

salt

Sydney’s dad was salt.

Emmanuel Adamu was a good man, a kind man, a steady man. He paid for their beautiful apartment with his steady, well-paid job in an accountancy firm that required him to wear a tie and not utter any of the curses that fell from his daughter’s lips on a daily basis.

Emmanuel didn’t drink alcohol because his father - Sydney’s grandfather - did, and got mad and beat his eldest son when he was intoxicated. Sydney could understand being angry at an unfair world - sometimes she struggled with it herself - but she never figured out how it helped you feel better to take it out on a child. Fucking stupid. That was also why Emmanuel didn’t like the taste of cherry, because his sobbing mother used to spoon cherry-flavoured Tylenol into his mouth after the beatings, instead of being allowed to take her boy to the emergency room.

It was through learning of her father’s dislike for cherry that Sydney first started to piece together why food was so important, and how it gave meaning. Cooking was about the senses, and senses were memory, and memories are us. A person’s consciousness was little more than the cumulation of their memories, and that was the key to it. Flavours and smells and textures cut straight through every artifice to the very core of a person’s being, and that was what it was all about. Saying something, leaving your mark on someone.

So, her dad was salt, Sydney’s grounding element. The frame of reference that gave the rest of the world its meaning. He raised her, so gentle and kind where his own father had been cruel and angry, and gave her her footing. He brought out the colour in everything. Just like salt in caramel could take off the edge of the sweetness and let you taste the complexity of browned sugar and butter, Emmanuel tempered her anxiousness, slowed her worst tendencies, and helped her see that whilst all this might be fucking difficult, it was also beautiful. And it was worth the fight.

(n.b. Emmanuel Adamu was also salt because he cried. Sometimes with Sydney, sometimes without. Usually about his wife. About every step Sydney took that her mother didn’t get to see.)

fat

Sydney wasn’t clear on what made her mother the fat in this pretentious extended cooking metaphor she used to explain her life to herself. Partly because her mother actually grew her, with her own body. Sydney would literally not be here if not for the bones grown, muscles fashioned, fat and skin and organs added by her mother. Without her milk, her love, her hugs, Sydney wouldn’t be here.

And that line of thinking brought up the other reason why her mother was the fat. It was the part of the cut of meat that spoiled it for many people. The part you either hacked off or endured with a grimace, rubbery and chewy and greasy.

That’s kinda what losing a parent as a kid felt like.

You could either just… refuse to think about it. Hack it off at the source. Resolutely not imagine baking sessions and kisses after school and a comb sliding through your hair, all the things that you only got half your fair allotment of.

And when not thinking about it failed miserably, you could endure it. Think about how the world would have been, how you would have been if they’d lived. Sydney imagined herself calmer and more level-headed, with an actual normal way of thinking. It’s kinda hard to develop a normal way of thinking when your formative years are disrupted by the realisation that everyone leaves, everyone dies. You start living your life with one eye on the clock, except the clock is a fucking Doomsday clock counting down to the day you finally implode and people will make sympathetic faces and say its such a shame, she had a hard start at life, she never stood a chance, really. Part of Sydney thinks that’s why her catering company failed, because she couldn’t even look at the name - Sheridan Catering - without feeling a twist in her stomach.

Fat could be things other than a strip of grizzle on the side of a steak, though, and Sydney tried to remind herself that. You can’t cook anything worth eating without fat - rich olive oil, creamy butter, adding flavour and indulgence and energy your body needed to keep going. She wouldn’t be here without her mother, and she wouldn’t be Sydney if her mother hadn’t died of Lupus when she was four years old. Her drive, her wit, her passion, her appreciation for how fucking short life really is and how you need to make it count - she would have been different if Sheridan Adamu hadn’t died young.

She would like to meet the Sydney she would have been if her innocence had hung around longer.

But that was impossible.

So instead, she kept moving, and fat was as ever-present in her cooking as grief was in her life, like the Three of Swords inked on her shoulder blade.

She tried every day to see the positives in that, she really did.

acid

Acid, without a doubt, was Carmen Berzatto.

One of the greatest chefs living, definitely the best chef Sydney had ever had the privilege of working with, Carmy was the fucking zing that Sydney needed to get out of bed before the sun had risen and the frost had thawed.

Carmy was citrus - so lively was his cooking, his tattoos, the way he moved around a kitchen like his pants were on fire. He was the lemon to Sydney’s lime and there was some deep understanding between them that made Sydney sorry she’d ever hated on Italian guys, because this one was clearly her soulmate, her blood brother.

Carmy was also vinegar. He was sour and tangy, the clear result of leaving some nasty shit to fester for too long. In some ways, she knew Carmy was her if her dad hadn’t been so steady. If she’d had a brother who shot himself. So she tried to cut him slack where she could, but sometimes… sometimes the kindest thing you could do for a person who was a bit fucked in the head was tell them they were acting like they’re fucked in the head. As a victim of her own poisonous thoughts and nerves that ricocheted through her body like a nuclear chain reaction, Sydney knew sometimes you needed to put your foot down and tell people they’re not grounded in reality right now. She knew Carmen appreciated it.

He was sharp. Sometimes, that was a good thing, and he cut through the bullshit and found the heart of an issue like a little acid could lift an entire dish out of complicated mediocrity. Sometimes, it was a bad thing, though. Carmen could cut deep when he wanted to. His own close alignment with his biggest insecurities, the wounds he picked at, gave him a peculiar affinity for working out the weak spots in others.

She loved Carmy - he was ingenious, disciplined, creative, sweet, original. But when he was sour, it was overpowering. And maybe that was just his way of protecting himself, of claiming control. He pushed people away so they wouldn’t have the chance to reject him first. He said and did shitty things because being on the offence was familiar territory, family territory even, and the runt of the litter always had to bark twice as loud and snap twice as hard just to get his share of the meal. Didn’t make it okay, but she did understand it. Somewhat.

He could still be a little bitch though.

heat

For the longest time, Richie was heat just because being around him boiled Sydney’s blood. The person who got her back up by being so obstinate and infuriating that she was left wondering how he’d lived so long without walking off a cliff like a damn lemming.

They yelled and screamed at each other about God only knows what. Richie was a bitch about caulk. Sydney stabbed Richie. They were basically even, right?

But then, Richie changed.

The Bear changed them all. It was a call to arms, to a higher purpose, and they had all had to pull up their big girl pants and figure some shit out. Richie most of all, as it seemed that he was every bit as lost and drifting with the tide as Sydney had always thought him to be.

But then, by opening night, he was this guy in a suit who smelled good and who ran the front of house like a track star.

There was the minor issue of Carmy screaming some truly obscene things through the walk-in door, and the few days where they’d all but accepted that Richie was gone, sick of this shit and realising his own worth for the first time in his life. But then, Carmy had dislodged his head from his own rectum and made amends. Richie forgave him like he’d forgiven Sydney for stabbing him in the ass - that is, with remarkable ease - and came back to The Bear, as stubbornly committed to the Berzattos as ever.

That was something she learned the soft way about Richie - if you were loyal to him, he’d pay you back tenfold.

Heat became warmth. Warmth became a flame kindled between them. Fragile and flickering at first, then steady and strong. He brushed the back of her hand with his when they passed each other during prep. He reminded her to eat and drink. He asked questions. Where do you get your hair done? How long have you known you wanted to be a chef? What was your mom like?

Was he closer to her dad’s age than hers? Yeah, and she could tell it bothered him. Constantly asking in the early days why someone like her was hanging around with someone like him. The answer was simple, really. Because the more she worked with him, the more she realised he was only ever territorial. Trying to protect the last piece of Michael he had, no matter how much of a fucking nightmare it was. The second they realised they weren’t a threat to each other, that they could be friends, it was game over for Sydney. His laugh, his eyes, his voice, his heart. The way he was dragging himself out of his rut, hand over hand, fighting for himself tooth and nail. Made her realise maybe she could do it too, if she just followed his example. It was never too late.

He was so tender with her. He was the heat that kept her at a steady simmer, the warmth that stopped her from going cold in a world that had only ever been hard on her. He kissed her collarbones like they were precious, folded her washed bandanas into neat little triangles, told her she was beautiful at the most random moments, like he thought about it all the time.

She found herself cooking for him more and more as his palate and curiosity developed. Started listening to Taylor Swift, because Eva loved her, and Richie loved Eva. Started asking him questions. What was Michael like? Does Eva prefer school or sports? Had you been stabbed before or was I your first?

She’d long accepted that, for a man who had lived an entire life before she’d even met him, she’d never be the first anything. And she was happy with that. She didn’t think she could have hacked Richie the 22 year old at a tailgate party, draped drunkenly over Mikey Bear’s shoulders. She liked Richie the dad, the divorcee who still fixed Tiffany’s leaky kitchen sink on the weekends, the uncle who could bounce and quiet the baby when Nat was ready to cry herself.

So it was a surprise when, one morning in bed, he kissed her bare shoulder and told her, “You’re the first person it’s ever felt easy with.”

Ease had never been her thing, but she was finding it now.

Thanks to some good people, she was finding it.

all likes, reblogs, comments massively appreciated ❤️

#sydrichie #sydney x richie #the bear #the bear season 2 #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich

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pumphouseentertainmentau · 1 year

Text

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dark-side-blog3 · 1 year

Text

I play degrees of lewdity! day 2 warning for canon typical violence, noncon, and spoilers

++++

I went into the woods to see if something could interest me. Wenta little far in and heard a wolf howl. FUCK 0x0

++++

I managed to avoid the wolves so now I'm thinking that's only gonna be a problem if you've got beastiality toggled on. Also picked up some arrow heads that I can apparently sell at the museum! And I've got school the next ingame day so now I'm worried how I'm gonna be able to grind and get the cash i need for Bailey while also going to school... There's got to be consequences if you don't go to school, right? Even though this game is focused on fantasy rape? I feel like there are consequences if you don't go to school... Surely...

On the plus side I got hired at the docks for weekends so maybe that'll be good and help me earn some cash!

++++

ROBIN SOLD HER CONSOLE! Is there a way to spot her a bit of cash? :( I took her for a picnic so we had a little bit of fun and didn't end up staying out at night (can you get raped while walking with someone else in this game? Like irl yes but in game? The logic ain't really logic-ing because its a videogame so maybe it cancels out?)

also i found mickey and im trying to get him to purge my records of constant rape from the files and he's kinda weird?

++++

I forgot to save my game file before working at the brothel and I just didn't like it :/

Sooooo I'm going back to my last save which was before school started. I've got to redo all my efforts for classes but whatever :p

++++

Got raped while leaving school. its the cigerette event. Meh :/

++++

ey i am not a catholic but Sydney is amazing. Actually the best character in this game. I hope nothing bad ever happens to him and I will fight for this :) <3 What a wholesome guy.

AH sydney just asked what it means when people flirt with him. I know he's a grown man and can technically engage if he wants but he's so innocent I can't tell him the truth... I comforted him :')

++++

Loft discovered and exams passed eyyyyyy very good

++++

I got raped and they stole my skirt and panties! I tried to walk to the store to buy more clothes but I got accosted on the beach! My character ended up passing out from the pain. When i woke up a different group has stolen the rest of my clothes and collared me, and hypnotised my character to strip instead of concealing any exposed skin, which has six different body-writing phrases!

Fuck!

++++

Robin has confessed that she feels like Bailey is unreasonable :( poor girl.

++++

ROBINS AT THE DOCKS?!?!?!?! SHE COULDN'T AFFORD TO PAY!

Im gonna save here incase i change my mind.

attempted to fight: Lost. Badly. Afterwards, got tossed into the sea without my clothes, got exposure, passed out, woke up with the feat "Alluring" achieved. Robin is still on the boat. proceed to get raped as soon as i wake up again. This is going to be struck from my record.

attempt to take robins place: She's successfully back on shore, I got tossed overboard while stripped and passed out again. Dolphin merfolk played with me though so I stopped being stressed. Swam to shore, and somehow it made my character less stressed. Got swept out to sea. ended up getting picked up by a boat and getting raped, but not by the same people as before. Fuckers tossed me overboard afterwards. Got beat up immidietly afterwards too by another gang of rapists. Robin better be as loyal as a dog to my character after this.

Had just enough energy to go get shackles removed at museum. and woke up in the hospital with doctor harper again. I am now supposed to go to therapy every Friday at the hospital. And I've now been arrested by the police, and am preforming five days of community service.

I took Robin to the hospital. I swear, Robin better be worth all the torment I went through. And there better be a DAMN good reason I have to drag Robin to the hospital after I literally passed out from pain and had to be carried in on a stretcher.

+++++++

Robin has not infact helped at all and has been somewhat useless.

++++

had consensual sex with a guy and it was actually so sweet <3 Askd him to wear a condom for oral sex and he did and he gave praise the whole time, what a sweet guy <3

++++

SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY ROOM WHILE I WAS GONE AND NOW MY PANTIES ARE MISSING???? WHAT THE HELL-- its got to be someone bailey approved of because he's canonically thrown a pervert out when they don't have a reason to be perving in the orphanage, but also??? I've been paying bailey, I've never missed a payment, and I've never fought him. Why??? Is it Kylar?

++++

I am in therapy w/harper, and he wants to hypnotize me. This feels like its about to go horribly wrong. It doesn't tell me what it is exactly when i overwhelmed, so I'm going to have to try really hard to keep my stress down!

++++

Aight I am making another save file with robin cuz i actually really like this timeline even though robin is useless

Also the cream buns are so good that whats his name (sam?) is buying the store next to it, which is great... Except for the fact that this is how i grind out the most cash. And I decided to take on robins debt like a moron.

++++

Kylar is stalking me. Confirmed because something was watching me since i left the house, and I saw him do that horror movie trope with the bus at nightinggale street.

But also i might restart the save because despite taking robins debit robin isn't at school. I'm not paying extra if shes not even here :/

Ah but a quick look at the reddit says this is normal, robin is just getting the fuck beat out of them. Well... Aint nothing I can do about that now.

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Got raped while trying to break into houses, and got raped on my way to the hospital for after pills :/

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My character is getting raped by rando's so much I'm bored reading the chats and I'm bored documeting them. I'll add anything of note. Like whatever the fuck is up with the mommy kink ginger sewer woman. Did not enjoy that. I am into mommy/daddy stuff within reason, and this was far outside of it.

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GOT RAPED AND WE KNOW WHAT HARPER HYPNOITSED ME FOR!! My character now gets aroused with painal, and smacking other peoples asses.

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" You chat with Sydney. "No one else has made such an effort to get to know me like this. Not in a long time, at least. I appreciate it." He holds up his holy pendant, kisses it, and places it against your forehead. "Blessings." | - Trauma" UWAAAHHHHH uwahhahanannannmmamammhpmmmhmmmmmmmwuaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh I WOULD DIE FOR SYDNEY ;A; Like the cross thing is... a tiny bit uncomfy, but its known he is such a sweetheart and no one wants to talk to him??? uwahhhhh poor boooyyy..... (I've had some bad run ins with various religious students who were super religious so when I say this crucifix use is a nice one TRUST me its so sweet because I know what threating crucifix use is). SYDNEY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SWEET DARLING (platonic)

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HARPER PUT ME IN THE ASYULM?!?!?!?!?! HE KIDNAPPED ME! AM I IN A SOFTLOCK?! WHAT ABOUT BAILEY?! I HAVEN'T PAID HIM! HARPER KIDNAPPED ME?!?!?!?!?

I'M GOING TO LOOSE MY FUCKING MIND OAOAOBQGOAFACEQWRAGW

#writer turns gamer

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