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fairyniceyeah · 5 months ago

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🧭🐰🐿️Day 28: "Say something!"

Numb/Cold Shoulder/Gag

@juneofdoom

Day 27: "Who did this to you?" - Alternate

Part One: Day 26: "Don't lie to me!"

Summary: Han explains to Minho why he was so hurt and finds out why Minho was so angry earlier.

CW: emeto, mention of arguments

Whumpee: HAN/Jisung

Sickie: Lee Know/Minho

Caretaker: HAN/Jisung + Bang Chan

That day was tense to say the least.

Han hated it whenever everything Stray Kids stood for - unconditional love, self-less kindness and devoted friendship - turned into petty arguments and hate for stupid reasons. 99% of their in-group fights were just that: misunderstandings and pettiness caused by exhaustion and lack of sleep. They were all bound to snap at some point, it just happened.

They would make up and everything was fine.

But today was awful. There was apprehension in the air - the kind of feeling that arose in herbivores when carnivores were close. Like they were waiting for the big drop.

Next to the apprehension though, what was even worse in Han’s opinion, was the coldness they showed each other. He was glad for the support by the members, of course he was, but seeing Changbin, Seungmin, Jeongin and even Hyunjin, who hadn’t even seen the argument, give Minho the cold shoulder and Minho returning the ignorance was strange.

If Han wasn’t so angry at Minho he would have tried to break it off, the whole situation making him anxious. But he was Han Jisung, known for fighting even if he hated that Stays knew that about him and hating that he couldn’t stop his own anger and pettiness. So he also ignored Minho unless a camera was on them. Still, he doubted any of the behind the scenes recordings were airable.

Only Felix - with Chan as moral support and possible damage control - had tried to approach Minho in the break between the early variety show filming and their individual practices but he was brushed off. Felix had nearly cried again, Chan helplessly offering support.

Over the day Han went numb, just going through the motions. Today was just plain awful and he wanted to just wake up tomorrow with everything being just fine. Minho happy as always and the group not angry and torn apart by a huge fall out for a stupid reason.

Han was sitting outside, in a small alcove between two adjoining JYPE buildings, hidden from view by anybody who didn’t know about the small space, when Minho approached him. He was walking slowly, as if approaching a wounded and spooked animal.

“What do you want?”, Han asked tiredly. He didn’t want to fight again. He didn’t think he had the strength for that.

Minho chewed on his lip for a moment, looking very pale. Guilty. “I came to apologize”, he said finally, after swallowing heavily. “Lixie told me.”

Han nodded but decided to stay quiet. What was there to say? Minho had been awful to him. A simple apology wouldn’t fix this - Minho had been so angry. So … so full of rage. It had been so scary. He didn’t ever want to be scared of his hyung again. He was supposed to be able to trust him. How had a simple fight come to this?

“Say something”, Minho begged when Han didn’t speak up. He looked so lost, so desperate.

Han sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“I … I don’t think I can fully accept an apology yet though it’s appreciated”, he said quietly.

Minho stood stiff for a moment. Then he nodded. “Still, I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“You shouldn’t have”, Han agreed, nodding. He sighed again and stood to face his best friend. He was so, so tired and so, so hurt. “You didn’t even let me explain.”

“I didn’t”, Minho conceded. There wasn’t anything he could say to defend himself.

“You blamed everything on me without even thinking twice about it.”

“Yeah.”

“You made me feel awful. Numb. I thought you would think better of me. I know it’s not just a hoodie to you, I know how special it is for you. You know I know. Why did you assume I wouldn’t admit to a mistake? Do you think I am a coward?”

“No, please, Sung-ah”, Minho pleaded. His eyes were wide, shining with tears and he looked so uncomfortable and ashamed of himself that Han nearly regretted what he had just said. But Minho needed to hear that. “I don’t think you are a coward. I … I was so … I am so sorry.”

His voice got quiet as he spoke.

“Why did you yell at me?”, Han asked, sniffing away tears and wiping his sleeve across his face.

Minho opened his mouth to seemingly say something but instead, to both of their surprises, he gagged and then jerked forward, violently throwing up on the floor in front of Han’s feet.

“Shit”, Han mumbled as he jumped back. For a moment he could only stare at his hyung who was clutching his knee with one hand and had the other wrapped around his stomach, retching over and over again. Then Han jumped into action, stepping aside to stand beside Minho, holding him up and rubbing his back.

Han, while definitely not a fan of puking, ignored the disgusting puddle of yellow-brownish sick that was growing with every second, to whisper encouragement into Minho’s ear. The older dancer was whimpering and, was he…?

Minho was crying.

It broke Han’s heart.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Minho mumbled between heaves.

“It’s okay, baby, don’t worry”, Han comforted, taking his hand off Minho’s back for a short moment to brush back his hair behind his ears, out of danger. Well, Minho’s hair wasn’t long enough to be in danger, but it still felt like the right thing to do.

At last Minho was able to stop vomiting and just let Han lead him over to a bench, where he slumped down in exhaustion. He looked pitiful like that, so young and sick. There was a speck of puke in the corner of his mouth and without even thinking about it Han wiped it away.

“Do you feel better?”, Han asked. He was so worried for his hyung. He wondered if this was a physical manifestation of the emotional guilt or if Minho was really sick.

“Not really”, Minho mumbled, sounding so small and embarrassed, “my stomach still really hurts. I don’t feel good.”

“Is that why you were so angry this morning?”, Han asked gently, not judging. He moved a hand up to feel Minho’s forehead. The skin was hot to the touch. Definitely a fever.

Minho nodded, closing his eyes in exhaustion. Han sighed and wrapped an arm around Minho’s shoulder, pulling him close so that Minho could rest against his shoulder. He moved his hand up to play with the soft hair, the way Minho liked it. He truly was like a cat.

“Yeah.” Minho sighed. “I woke up feeling so awful. My stomach was - is - hurting so bad and I was so queasy and not feeling good and …” He stopped to take a deep breath. “When I found the pullover in the laundry, destroyed, I got so overwhelmed. I wasn’t feeling good and the one thing I had been looking forward to was unavailable. I’m sorry. It’s not a reason for me to react that way, to get so angry.”

Han hummed in agreement. “It wasn’t nice. But I understand. You weren’t feeling well and robbed of a comfort item. I’m not going to blame you for being sick. The emotional reaction is easily explained by the fever you are sporting.”

“Oh. I didn’t even realize”, Minho whispered. His body - as if trying to prove a point - shuddered at that. It was cold outside, Han realized, far too cold for his hyung with a sick stomach and apparently with fever chills.

“Let me call Channie-hyung”, Han said, “he’ll make sure we can go home. Then you can rest. I’ll try to get that hoodie clean, hm?”

“Thank you, Sungie”, Minho whispered.

The dancer looked so miserable, so queasy and ill. He barely moved, only laying down on Han’s lap when the younger encouraged him to do so, until a worried Chan arrived, coming to check on his oldest dongsaeng.

“Hey, Lino”, the leader said and knelt down in front of the bench they were on. “Han-ah said you’re not feeling good.”

Minho nodded and then, hesitantly, reached out to grab his hyung’s hand and place it against his forehead. Chan’s cold hands seemed to feel good against the fevered skin.

“I already called a company car to take you home. Rest, kiddo”, Chan explained.

“Are the others angry at me?”, Minho asked, sounding uneasy and afraid. “I know I deserved their silent treatment but …”

“I told them that you are sick”, Chan soothed, “they are very worried for you and feel bad that they were angry with you. In fact, I had to stop five dongsaengs from following me here to apologize.”

“Oh”, Minho mumbled.

“It’s okay, hyung”, Han whispered, “we got you. I’m never letting go.”

Day 29: "I'm so cold."

Masterlist link: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's June of Doom 2024

Notes: That remark about herbivores and carnivores - I never really believed you could feel tension and fear in the air. But in Africa I watched a group of rhinos at a waterhole when hyenas approached. You could tell carnivores were there before you could see them. Really cool experience and happy to report that it is not just a fictional trope!

And yes, I quoted Case 143 in the last sentence....

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whumpygifs · 7 months ago

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#stray kids #hwang hyunjin #kpop #music video #whump #chained #restrained #struggling #choked #my gifs

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dudadragneel · 4 months ago

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Hey guys it's me!

How are you?

I'm back with another original of mine!

I hope you'll enjoy!

And stay tuned! There's a really long fic coming up soon 👀

Spending the night in the bathroom because he got food poisoning

KEEPING HIM COMPANY

Goddamn these hectic schedules and how they affected the members' health.

They were on vacation, finally, and Chan, like always, would spend time with you and then would take you to Australia to stay with his family.

So far the perfect planning for a much-awaited vacation. But things went wrong on day one.

You decided to spend part of the day out and eat lunch at a newly-opened restaurant.

Good decision?

It would later be proved to not have been.

The food tasted delicious and it was quite the generous serving and you both knew the boys would love it if they were there.

You two talked about what you'd like to do while he was in vacation, like dates, romantic nights, trips etc.

Everything was going well, until it wasn't.

By the time you got back to your apartment, Chan was feeling under the weather, which was weird because he was feeling perfectly fine a few hours before.

He had cold sweats and his stomach was churning and gurgling loudly. It was burning and it felt heavy. Yes, he did eat a lot, but it was a different kind of heavy, he felt bloated. Not only felt, it was quite visible.

You were lying down on the bed, watching some series and you noticed Chan was restless, he kept moving and even hissing from time to time.

- Love? Are you okay?

- Yeah...it's just my stomach...it feels weird.

- Weird how?

- I don't know, maybe indigestion? It's kind of burning.

- Well, you ate a lot so it could be. I can make you some tea or do you want some medicine?

- I'm not sure medication is a good idea right now. I'll take the tea.

- Okay.

You left the bedroom to get him some tea to help with the burning sensation in his stomach and hopefully help it digest the food.

When you got back, Chan was curled up, looking like a baby kangaroo.

- Hey~ here's the tea. I didn't add any sugar so it might be a little bitter.

- Thanks... ugh- yeah, that's definitely bitter.

He added, making a disgusted face, earning a laugh from you and then smiling at you fondly.

The tea helped a little, at least in the beginning.

But what was going on inside his body was worse than just indigestion and he'd find that out pretty soon.

⏳

Despite being on vacation you still had one more thing to work on before you were 100% free, so you took you computer to bed and lay down next to Chan with him curling up one more time. Something was making him feel uncomfortable and you knew it wasn't just a simple case of indigestion.

As he was leaning on your shoulder, you started to rub his arm and then stroke his curly hair while he tried his best to focus on you working and ignore the increasing discomfort in his stomach.

He loved to see you so passionate abou your work, just like you did with him, with the countless times you stayed with him in his studio.

But no matter how much he tried, his stomach was in absolute shambles and burning. The awful sensation was growing stronger by the minute and he gave up on trying to deal with it on his own.

- Babe...

- Hmm? What is it?

- Can you rub my stomach? It's hurting really bad...

- Of course, honey. But don't you wanna go to the bathroom?

- No, at least not now.

- Okay, then. Come here.

You put you computer to the side and put another series on TV again while he lay down on your lap.

You started to rub his stomach up and down, and you could feel it rumbling under your touch, as well as how bloated it was.

Chan's expression would turn into one of pain and discomfort every now and then, but he was enjoying the feeling of your hand.

He had one of his hands buried under your thighs because that brought some sort of comfort for him.

But as you kept rubbing his stomach, it let out a loud gurgling noise and Chan unconsciously gripped your thighs and clenched his other hand.

Something was starting to move up inside of him and he could already feel the foul taste in his mouth.

- Honey, can you stop for a while? I'm gonna throw up-

He said covering his mouth to suppress a gag, quickly getting up from the bed and dashing to the bathroom with you following close behind.

He almost didn't make it to the toilet before vomit escaped through his fingers, the lunch he had coming back in disgusting undigested chunks.

- Oh god.

You stood next to him and started rubbing his back which was heaving under your hand, and for some reason felt a little hot.

He kept on retching until more vomit came out, a little thicker this time hurting his throat on the process.

- Oh baby. You're doing good.

You reassured patting his back and kissing the top of his head.

- It feels horrible....

- Do you think it was the food?

- Maybe...we had different dishes-

The sheer mention of food triggered his stomach again, sending more content up.

- There we go, just let it out.

After a few minutes he was left dry heaving and coughing.

- Do you feel any better?

- Not much. It still feels heavy.

- And the nausea?

- It's still here but less annoying.

- That's good enough. Why don't you take a shower? Maybe you'll feel a little better.

- Okay.

- I'll bring you some clothes.

- Thank you.

The shower although good, didn't really help with his situation. The cramps continued, the nausea kept coming and going, exactly like waves. He actually had to bend over the drain a few times but nothing really came up.

He thought that after throwing up he'd feel better but he kept on gagging, so he knew by now this could pretty much be a case of food poisoning.

And he'd soon find out he was right, unfortunately.

Finishing his bath, he was feeling more tired than before and hot, even if he'd just taken a cold shower.

You had gotten the bed ready while he was showering and was waiting for him to join you.

- Did the shower help?

- Not that much... I kept gagging all the time.

- Did you throw up again?

- No, but I'm still nauseous.

- Wanna try some medicine now?

- Yeah.

You gave him a gel capsule of an antiemetic and he gagged when it went down but thankfully it didn't come back up.

He cuddled on you, blanket covering his slightly shivering body and you proceeded to stroke his hair again, playing with it's curls and tracing patterns on his face, noticing it felt a bit hot to the touch.

- Honey, you're a little hot.

- Yeah, I noticed that when I walked out of the shower and I do feel a bit cold, actually.

- Lemme check it. 37.5°C. That's a low grade fever but I don't think it's anything to worry about now. But if it gets higher then you probably got food poisoning.

- I hope not.

- Want something to eat? Soup? Anything?

- I don't know if I can keep anything down but I'm also a bit hungry...

- I'll make something really quick. You don't need to eat everything just a bit okay?

- Okay.

You prepared him some light snacks, which he managed to eat a good amount and it did sit well with his stomach. And then he lay down on your chest again.

You went back to stroking his hair while he gently caressed your thigh and within a few minutes you were both fast asleep.

But the peace didn't last long.

⏳

About 1h30 into the night, Chan broke in cold sweats, his stomach was gurgling again and doing flips, he could feel the contents sloshing around. He tried to change his position but it didn't work.

The nausea he was feeling earlier had gotten really worse and his mouth started salivating. He was shivering which indicated the fever probably got higher.

Something started to creep up his chest and it felt like a burp but when he tried to let it out, he was betrayed by his body as it brought up a little amount of acid liquid. He knew he was gonna throw up sooner rather than later and he didn't want to bother you, so he quietly got out of the bed, suppressing a gag triggered by the sudden movement and locked himself in the bathroom.

⏳

He bent over the toilet but still tried his best to hold it because he knew that the sound would wake you up, and that's the last thing he wanted to do.

Leaving his mouth open, he started off only gagging unproductively and making as little noise as possible.

His body kept rocking back and forth and he was swallowing hard everytime, still trying to prevent himself from throwing up.

But his body really needed to get that out and it didn't matter what he wanted.

His stomach contracted making him gag one more time but he insisted on not vomiting and swallowed it back, but that proved to be a wrong move.

He ended up choking and that triggered a coughing fit which brought out his dinner, splattering in the toilet.

At the moment, he heard you calling out his name.

Shit!

He thought to himself, he knew you were tired and really didn't want to bother you in the middle of the night.

- Babe?

You called sitting up on the bed, taking a few seconds to properly wake up and then you heard a retch and the sound of liquid hitting liquid.

- babe? Are you okay?

You asked with a worried voice getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom.

When you opened the door, Chan was throwing up one more time and you rushed to his side, sitting on the bathtub and started rubbing his back.

- Oh honey...why didn't you call me?

- I didn't want to wake you up.

- Please don't worry about me...

You said, voice sounding concerned with a tiny tone of annoyance.

He coughed up another thick bout that came out of his nose making him choke and gag productively again.

- Oh my dear. That's it, just let it out. You're doing good.

When the next wave came out he ended up swaying forward and you quickly reached out to hold his forehead and noticed it was burning, compared to before.

- Babe, you're running a fever. This is looking like food poisoning.

You said with a worried and sad expression on your face, knowing how the next few hours and days would go by.

- Lemme check it.

You placed the thermometer under his armpit and helped him hold it there.

The numbers were almost alarmingly high, 38.9°C.

- Babe, what else are you feeling?

Chan rested his head on his arm, not really trusting himself to get his face away from the toilet.

- Dizzy, cold, sweating and nauseous.

- From the looks of it, it's definitely food poisoning...

- That's just great...

He said with a sarcastic tone and burying his face in his arm.

- I'll get you some water okay?

He just nodded, gulping down the awful taste in his mouth.

You came back with a bottle of cold water and handed it to him, while sitting back on the edge of the bathtub.

He took a few sips and rested his head on his arm again. You kept rubbing his back and stroking his hair, trying to comfort him.

But his stomach protested against those small sips of water and within a few seconds, it came right back up not giving him time to even change his position.

- Oh honey...

You cooed still rubbing his back again and yawning a bit. But oh boy was that a mistake. He loathed the idea that he cut your sleep short and your yawn just added to that.

- Honey, you can go back to bed, I'll be fine.

- No, Babe, I'm okay, don't worry about me.

- But you're tired, please. I want you to rest.

- Chan, I won't be able to rest knowing that you're sick and puking your guts out.

He chuckled at the last sentence but he was still sad that you were denying good hours of sleep to stay with him.

And again, his stomach was just determined to make him suffer and contracted strongly sending up a thick stream of vomit that soiled the entire inner part of the toilet. Neither the sound nor the sight were exactly pleasant.

After he threw up one more time, you knew for sure it would be a long night and Chan wouldn't be out of the bathroom anytime soon. And you wouldn't leave his side, because although he always wanted to deal with things on his own, deep down inside he subconsciously wanted comfort and he always found that when he was with you.

So you considered all the options and decided to camp out in the bathroom.

- Honey, wait here just a moment.

You went back into the bedroom and got a few blankets and pillows and came back, then organized them on the floor so you could make the spot as comfy as possible.

- What are you doing?

He asked with a raspy voice and a tiny smile.

- Well...you've got food poisoning and I don't think you're leaving this bathroom anytime soon and I won't leave you in here alone so..... we'll "sleep" here.

You answered him with a smile and laughing a little bit, trying to lift the mood.

- I'm sorry for making you do this....but thanks.

Chan said leaning on you and closing his eyes, trying to enjoy the moment of peace his stomach allowed him.

- You're welcome, honey.

⏳

The night was indeed long like you predicted with Chan vomiting more times than you could count and only getting enough sleep. His fever kept oscillating and in-between rounds of vomiting you managed to help him take at least two baths.

When morning rose, both of you were completely exhausted and if any of the boys were to show up at your house, they'd probably be scared because you had a complexion just like Samara's.

But by that time, Chan was feeling a little better or at least well enough to stay in the bedroom with a bucket instead of the cold floor of the bathroom.

You made him breakfast, which he managed to keep down until lunch but then it started again, after all it was food poisoning, just one night of continuous vomiting wouldn't do the trick.

After about 4 days, Chan felt like all the life had been sucked out of him but you made sure he ate every single meal that you made him to regain what he'd lost.

And he made sure you were pampered like you deserved after going through so many sleepless nights with him.

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cuddlepilefics · 4 months ago

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I’m going down (you’re yelling timber)

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Hyunjin

Caregivers: Stray Kids

Prompts: Passing out / Exhaustion / “I’ve got you, let’s sit down, I’ve got you.”

@whumperless-whump-event

No one’s POV.:

With the way their schedules had been filled to the very brink lately, Hyunjin was impressed how the group was still going strong. For some reason, the members didn’t seem any more tried than they’d usually be, while he himself felt close to crumbling. His whole body ached and a persistent headache was pulsing behind his temples. Had been for the past week if he was being honest. 3racha worked even more than him, which Hyunjin knew because he repeatedly returned to an empty dorm, yet they seemed not to be too affected by it. At least that way, Hyunjin could shower right away when he came home from his dance practice with Minho and Felix and didn’t need to wait his turn.

That shower turned out quite long because Hyunjin’s tense muscles finally relaxed when the hot water hit his shoulders. He barely found the energy to wash himself down, his arms suddenly feeling like cooked spaghetti, and it was obvious that he’d be out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow. A shudder ran down Hyunjin’s back, the hot water suddenly feeling cold to him, causing goosebumps to prick at his skin. He braced himself against the tiled wall as his ears started to ring. In a daze, he turned off the water and stumbled out of the shower, clumsily wrapping himself in his towel before plopping down on the closed toilet seat.

Holding his swimming head in his hands, Hyunjin took a few panting breaths and felt shaky all over. Maybe he shouldn’t have turned the water temperature up so high because now his circulation was wonky and he didn’t trust himself to stand and get ready for bed. Oh how badly he wanted to be in his bed right now. That would take a while though because Hyunjin only found the strength to get dressed after taking deep breaths for five minutes. He had to sit down again while he brushed his teeth.

A few sips of water might help with the lingering dizziness but the kitchen was in the opposite direction of his bedroom, so Hyunjin was torn. If 3racha had been home, he would’ve asked someone to fetch him a drink but that was out of question now. In the end, he decided to go to bed without a drink. His head pounded and he had to hold back tears as he crawled into bed, unsure how exactly he was going to make it through his schedule the next day.

Lucky for him, their schedule started at the studio the following morning and while his headache hadn’t improved, he wasn’t dizzy anymore. It was also nice to not be alone at the dorm anymore and he shot Jisung a tired smile when he plopped down next to him at the dining table, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. The rapper looked half asleep still, about as exhausted as Hyunjin felt and the dancer was relieved that he wasn’t the only one feeling drained. On the other hand, Jisung had only gotten home after Hyunjin had already gone to bed, yet he was up and running at the same time.

Watching the rapper eat made Hyunjin’s stomach turn and he glanced at his coffee in distaste. He had no appetite at all but if he wanted to take something for his headache, he should have at least a small breakfast. Too exhausted to prepare himself some proper food, Hyunjin grabbed some crackers and a small box of banana milk, slowly nibbling one of the crackers. It felt wrong in his mouth, taking all his willpower to swallow. Figuring it’d be easier to just wash it down with the banana milk, the dancer took a swig and startled when it triggered his gag reflex. Hyunjin covered his mouth in a panic, the drink eventually going down but not without choking him. Watching the older double over coughing, Jisung guessed his friend had aspirated, too sleepy to pay attention to eating, and reached over to pat the other on the back.

When Hyunjin finally managed to catch his breath, he thanked Jisung weakly but excused himself to his room, claiming he’d finish his food while getting ready. In truth, he sat on the edge of his bed, trashcan planted between his knees as he painfully slowly finished his crackers. They left his mouth and throat itchy because he hadn’t dared to drink anymore but that was soon to change. There was no way he’d be able to swallow his painkillers dry, not after the crackers had dried him out like this, so eyeing the banana milk in distaste, he hurriedly popped the pills into his mouth and downed his drink like a shot. Lurching forward with a closed-mouth gag, Hyunjin forced himself to breathe deeply and shuddered. Goosebumps had spread on his arms, while he broke into a sweat. His stomach still churned when he wiped his brow with a trembling hand, dumping the milk carton into the trash. The pills were down, so… mission accomplished.

He'd be lying if he claimed they were helping at all though. There was still that pressure in his head, making it hard to think clearly but at least, his stomach had calmed down. He was lucky that their dance practice was only scheduled for the late afternoon and he’d have a couple of hours to get his bearings. Maybe once he was more awake, he’d be able to stomach something more nutritious that’d give him the energy to keep going. Hyunjin probably shouldn't be happy that his friends were similarly tired but a small part of him way. With all of them lacking energy, it was relatively quiet and sitting with his fellow dancers, Hyunjin eventually dared lean his head on Minho’s shoulder. It still ached and his neck felt too sore to support its weight. To his surprise, the older neither pushed him away or teased him for it, merely continuing to go over his lyrics.

Sitting on Hyunjin’s other side, Felix’ hand snuck up his hyung’s back and gently kneaded the tense muscles in his neck. The melting tension caused him to slump further into Minho, which startled the second oldest but he was quick to adjust his position to properly support his dongsaeng’s side. “Are you okay?”, Minho asked quietly enough only for Hyunjin to hear. The younger nodded slightly, breathing: “Tired. Head hurts.” – “Painkillers?”, Minho offered, reaching up to run his fingers through his dongsaeng’s hair. “Took some”, Hyunjin mumbled but kept his eyes closed, “Not helping much though.” He drifted up soon after that, too out of it to witness the hushed conversation between his fellow dancers.

Felix kept massaging Hyunjin’s neck and shoulders while the older was asleep, hoping to release some of the tension to ease his pain. At some point, Chan had come over to feel the boy’s forehead but couldn’t detect a fever. Giving the leader s sad smile, Minho hummed: “It’s probably exhaustion. He’s been going all out during practice every single time.” Chan sighed, that truly sounded like something Hyunjin would do. “If he wakes up, let me know, please. I’ll have him warm up and record his lines right away, so he and go home and rest after that. You and Felix will be fine teaching us the choreo without him later, right?”, the leader confirmed, earning a relieved nod from Minho. The dancer couldn’t bear watching his dongsaeng destroy himself like that anymore.

As soon as Hyunjin sat up and reached for his water bottle, Minho informed him of what they had worked out with Chan. It should’ve already been red flag that the younger just thanked him and started to warm up despite his voice still being thick with sleep. The Hyunjin they knew would’ve put up a fight, insisting that he was fine to keep working and especially refusing to be sidelined during dance practice. It seemed he was truly more exhausted than he let on. He even swayed slightly when he had to get up from the couch because he was called into the recording booth. Laughing awkwardly, he slurred something about his legs having fallen asleep from sitting so long and shakily entered the recording booth to receive instructions which segment he should start with.

Hyunjin felt truly lucky that 3racha were so patient and understanding with him because nothing seemed to be going his way. Despite warming up, his voice still came out flat and with his tongue feeling heavy at the bottom of his mouth, he had frequent slip ups in his pronunciation. Everyone was understanding and tried to reassure him but Hyunjin couldn’t stop the tears from blurring his vision, making his voice sound even more choked. The stuffy air inside the recording booth certainly wasn’t helping and with his breath coming faster, it didn’t take long for the dancer to feel lightheaded. He lasted surprisingly long till the dizziness hit with the same intensity as it had the previous night. Sweat beaded on his forehead and it felt like all the air had been used up, no matter how much he breathed, it didn’t seem to be enough.

When his vision darkened, Hyunjin shakily reached for the lyric stand, clammy hand clutching cold metal. His ears rang too badly for him to hear Chan calling out to him over the speakers but goosebumps spread on his skin when a gust of wind hit his arm from Chan pushing through the door of the recording booth. Strong arms wrapped around his middle and Hyunjin let himself slump into the Aussie’s chest. “I’ve got you, let’s sit down, I’ve got you.” That promise seemed to be enough for Hyunjin’s fuzzy mind to let go of the last remnants of consciousness, his knees buckling while Chan guided him to the floor. Changbin was by their side in an instant, elevating his dongsaeng’s leg. Cursing himself for not having picked up on the signs, despite Hyunjin acting so out of character, Minho was up off the couch and with them in no time, the tiny recording booth getting cramped. He swiped the lyrics sheets off the stand, fanning Hyunjin’s pale face while feeling his pulse.

Hyunjin’s head thumped as he slowly came to, making him grimace. “Easy”, Chan shushed when the dancer tried to sit up. Changbin carefully laid the younger’s legs down and slipped out of the booth for one, to give them some space and two, to fetch his dongsaengs some water. Carding Hyunjin’s hair back, Chan hummed: “How’re you feeling?” The dancer drew a deep breath before mumbling: “Like putty. Really sore and dizzy putty though.” – “Not surprised your limbs feel sluggish and heavy”, Minho winced sympathetically, rubbing Hyunjin’s arm, “You’ve been demanding far too much of your body lately. Do you think you can stand if we help you? It’s really stuffy in here and I doubt that’s helping with the dizziness at all.”

Hoisting Hyunjin to his feet, the two eldest supported him to the couch and made him lay down there again. Felix took a seat next to him and comfortingly played with his hair while they tried to figure out their next course of action. Sending Hyunjin back to the dorm by himself was out of the question now but there also was no point of dragging him along to their schedule and make him try to rest on an uncomfortable couch in a dance practice room with music blasting from the speakers. None of them would be able to accompany him though because they’d have to learn a new choreography today and Minho and Felix were needed as their instructors.

“Hyun-e, we don’t have a good feeling sending you home alone. Not with what just happened. It’ll be too loud to rest in the practice room but you could stay here at the studio. The couch is all yours, we’d bring you lunch and collect you after practice”, Chan mused. The mention of food made Hyunjin’s stomach turn but he didn’t dare argue. Scratching the back of his neck, the leader hummed: “The second option would be manager-nim taking you back to the dorm and keeping you company while you eat. After that your not to leave your bed for anything other than using the bathroom. Safety precaution ‘cause we don’t want to come home to you passed out on the floor.” – “Option two, please, but I dunno if I can stomach anything, hyung”, Hyunjin muttered, resting his hand on his middle, “Don’t feel like eating.” – “The two of you can pick up something light, some soup maybe, on the way back”, Chan smiled, “I trust you to try your best and if you can only handle a couple of bites at a time, you’ll just try to snack throughout the rest of the day and have really small servings, okay?” The dancer nodded weakly, thanking Chan. He was glad that he could finally rest up.

#fanfic #fluff #comfort #fanfiction #sickfic #sick #stray kids #skz #whumperless whump event #whumperless whump event day 15 #whumperless whump event day 15: I'm going down (you're yelling timber)

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ready-for-take-off · 8 months ago

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Hey! You might know me as readyfortakeoff on ao3, but I decided to make an account here because I noticed the kpop sickfic community was fairly active here (and there are several authors on here that I admire that I would like to support).

A little about me and what I write—

I mostly stan NCT and that's reflected in my fics, haha. My ults are Kun and Jaemin, but I'll pretty much write anything for any member of any unit & any relationship since I know them all so well (excluding Wish for now).

I also recently started stanning ZB1 and feel like I have a pretty good grasp on their personalities, so requests for them are also welcome!

I'm also very familiar with the members of BTS, TXT, and Stray Kids. I'm pretty into SKZ right now too, but not much with BTS or TXT.

There's a few groups that I'm only familiar with a few members of, like Seventeen and RIIZE. I mostly have an idea of a few members' personalities but not much about their relationships.

As for scenarios I write about—

My fics are almost always sickfics with some sort of underlying moral to be learned (you'll understand if you look at them).

I've only written about stomach-related illness so far, but would definitely like to try out other scenarios.

So now that all of that is down, here's info if you want to request something!

I am mostly doing this just for fun so there's a chance I turn down your idea for seemingly no reason (but it's actually just because I'm not confident that I can write it lol). Your idea might be better suited to another author if so.

Please be specific in your prompt and what you want/don't want.

A few things that I won't write—snz, scat, urination, smut, x reader... and basically anything else that's inherently fetish-related or explicit.

What I'm most confident in writing—stomach aches, emeto, fevers, mental health struggles—even a few hurt/comfort tropes, like fluff, cuddling etc. General hurt/comfort requests would actually be greatly welcomed along with sickfics!

I'd be most likely to answer requests about NCT and SKZ. You can also inquire about members of the other groups I mentioned, but I might need a quick description of their dynamic with the caretaker.

A quick note about emeto—I only enjoy emeto up until it reaches a loss of control extent (e.g. I can't bring myself to write it when it gets to the sickie throwing up anywhere but a receptacle). Just be aware that I might change your request a little if it goes into that territory!

Here's my new masterlist with both ao3 originals and Tumblr fics.

Thanks for reading and leave an ask with any prompts you have! Any shares would be greatly appreciated as well :)

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manjicons · 10 months ago

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◌ . BangChan & minnie ☁️ ⠀⠀⌣ ׂ ✦ lıkᥱ⠀⠀ #or⠀⠀ rᥱblog

#bang chan #stray kids icons #stray kids #vampire whump #minnie #minnie icons #kpop #kpop psd #icons twitter

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superwhumpage · 6 months ago

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Anyone get hit with inspiration at like 4am and have to scramble to type it out on the notes app on your phone, but also have to just accept it's never going to be as good as what you just played out in your head.

#fanfiction writing problems #fanfiction problems #fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan angst #bang chan whump #Got my next one (two? three?) shot planned for the Can't escape the current universe #can't escape the current #can't escape the current fanfiction

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blueside-blue · 2 years ago

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𖧧 no 18; any other way by eric nam

⊹ ship; seungjin

⊹ for; nina, spotify wrapped challenge 2022

⊹ tags; angst with happy ending, whump, existential crisis, suffering, mentions of wanting to die, being stuck in purgatory, salvation, fantasy setting

⊹ wc; 1.7k

⊹ lyrics;

I didn't know why Why happiness was fleeting in my life 'Til you, my butterfly I found you and you led me To the light Oblivious to things around me It's only in your arms, I can see That everything means Nothing without you Oh, they don't feel the things we're feeling It's got us dancing on the ceiling It's really not that hard for me To choose Because I Wouldn't have it any other way Oh-oh, any other way

When Seungmin wakes all is as always. The sand is stone-cold and hard beneath his body, the air unmoving and soundless — deafening, almost. And he himself is still breathing with his heart beating, but yet, not alive. Because who could consider the state he was in a life? If it was, certainly not one worth living.

Seungmin has been laying here, in the emptiness that slowly seeped into his heart, without being able to say how long for at this point. He doesn’t know when he has last eaten or quenched his thirst, or if he had such needs that ought to be satisfied in the first place. But since he knows of them — thirst, hunger, desire, a will to live — there must have been a time like that. Many days must have passed since then. And if Seungmin had been counting at all, he has long lost sight of the number. Time feels permanent in this place, opening a space for questions that won’t find answers, so Seungmin has long stopped asking.

In the waste of this land where nothing is worthwhile, where no living thing is around, where it’s just stones and sand and coldness that burns hot in the night. Where there is nothing for Seungmin to do. Where he can’t even move from this spot, having long forfeited this pointless war against the forces that be who decided he shouldn’t be able to as much as lift a finger. He was damned.

In the beginning Seungmin thought there must be a reason for him to be here, a purpose, a hint of something that at least whispered a breath of meaning into his existence. But as he watched the sun glare down at him as it traveled along the horizon with no warmth in its rays with every passing day his resolve regressed. Now he knows, he was only left here to suffer.

If this was hell, he wished he could just die again. Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough and emptied his thoughts. If he stopped thinking, breathing, *being*, then maybe, *maybe* the force of nature that has been rubbing at his skin might finally wash him away.

So he closes his eyes and waits — for what he isn’t sure.

For a second? A minute? An hour? A day? A week? A month? A year?

Time works weirdly in this place.

Nothing happens. Nothing ever happens here.

But—

What was that?

Seungmin’s eyes reopen upon a weird but new sensation, one that he has not felt before, not the stark light nor the burning cold or the rigidness of the sand, brushes by his ear. It’s the tiniest whiff of air hitting his skin, moving the molecules that stay rock still even with Seungmin breathing.

There is a flutter in the corner of Seungmin’s eye. He blinks. If he could, Seungmin would lift his head and look around, but his limbs are just so stiff and heavy. He wants to know what is causing a ripple in this world that has been standing still for so long.

And then he sees it, the little thing, gliding through the air until it lands square on the bridge of Seungmin’s nose. He goes cross-eyed with pupils blown wide as he watches the butterfly kiss his nose. Seungmin is astounded. How is this possible? A living thing in this dead place where nothing is supposed to live and grow to be beautiful and everything gets reduced to sand and dust eventually — like he had hoped he would soon, too.

The butterfly only lingers for a brief moment of time before it lifts into the air again and starts to fly away. Upon the realization that Seungmin was soon to lose the only worthwhile thing that has come to him after all this monotonous stillness that stays ever the same, something stirs in him, deep inside.

The gears in his mind start to rattle forth and forth, faster and faster until his fingers twitch and his joints crack. The further away the butterfly goes the more desperate Seungmin becomes, he uses his brute mental force to get his muscles — heavy like stones — to move and before he knows it, he is holding himself upright, swaying on the sand. He then goes to command his body to walk, his steps leaden and unsteady, but he is moving — moving alas, towards his fleeting happiness.

Seungmin staggers after the butterfly helplessly with his vision swimming away from him and his head spinning. It’s hard to keep track of its colorful flicker through the pure mental struggle that is necessary to keep his body afloat, but nevertheless he doesn’t allow the butterfly to ever leave his field of vision. He can’t afford to lose *this* too.

The butterfly flitters and flutters and Seungmin stumbles and bumbles, drawing in closer and closer until the butterfly is almost an arm’s reach away. Just a few more steps, just a little more and happiness shall be his own again. He is so, so close now.

In an act of despair and misjudgment Seungmin lunges forward in a desperate attempt to catch the butterfly. Before he knows it, he is falling and rolling down one of the sand dunes, his world turning round and round and upside down. When he comes to a halt, dusted and ditched like an overripe fruit fallen to the ground and left to rot, he spots the butterfly again immediately. It’s trailing after him, then passes on top of him and Seungmin watches its airy dance with amazement.

When it then goes to pass above his head and Seungmin is yet again in danger of losing sight of the beautiful butterfly and craning his neck isn’t enough anymore to keep track, he gathers his last set of strength to roll onto his back. Only then does he notice they have reached a clearance and Seungmin is met with an even more incredible sight displayed in front of him and the butterfly right in the center.

In the middle of it there is shimmering blue and emerald green with spots of purples, reds, and yellows, shining in stark contrast to the greyish sand beneath him. Now an overwhelming sense of thirst washes over Seungmin, the feeling is unfamiliar and new. His mouth feels as dry as parchment paper it’s as if death is clawing down his throat. Having fallen down and being unable to muster up the strength to get up again and walk, he can only stay on the ground and crawl, following the butterfly fluttering away toward the oasis — into paradise.

In that moment it feels like as if salvation is almost so near he can taste it and yet so so so far away. Even though his arms are shaking like leaves in the wind, his legs feel numb, heavy, and lifeless, like dead weight dragging at the end of his body, Seungmin doesn’t want to give up. He moves on. He wants to reach. He wants to drink. He wants to feel alive again. The butterfly made it so.

He meets the little thing by the shore after what feels like an eternity and Seungmin doesn’t waste a second then. The moment he finally, *finally* reaches the water, he lowers his head and drinks from it until his belly is bursting. He drinks and drinks and drinks until his insides are gurgling and he feels sick to the stomach and *yet* his thirst isn’t quenched the slightest bit.

Seungmin wonders, why this all still feels so unsatisfactory? Wasn’t this what he had wanted so desperately?

When he then turns to look for the beautiful butterfly, the ethereal being that saved his life, he is instead met with the sight of a globe of light radiating next to him — exactly where the butterfly had been. Inside of the burning hot rays he can make out a silhouette. The figure glows so bright, brighter than the luminous sun high up to the sky. Seungmin feels as though, he has been blinded by the flash of light but can’t seem to tear his gaze away.

“My brave soldier,” the figure says, voice ringing clear in Seungmin‘s ears. “Your suffering will end today. My hand is won. We may return home, soon to be wedded as it had been your last dying wish.”

The glow has started to dim now and Seungmin can make out some features of the figure going to kneel down next to him. A man with kind eyes and golden locks framing his otherworldly face. There is concern written all over his face and— *Are those shimmering crystals tears in his eyes?*

“My love, do you not remember?” The stranger suddenly sobs as he reaches out to touch Seungmin by the shoulder, making a zing of energy bolt through the whole of his body.

Then a dam breaks. The gates of unlocked memories fall down and flood Seungmin’s and then — then he remembers.

“Hyunjin! My Hyunjin!” Seungmin wails as tears begin to burst from his eyes, too. Like a well that has been run dry bubbling up with new water again. And Seungmin feels alive again.

Hyunjin moves to pull Seungmin’s frail body into his welcome and warm embrace, holding him close while rocking him back and forth and back and forth like a baby. There might be some truth to it since Seungmin feels as though he has been reborn. Breathing for the first time after coming from darkness into the light, weeping and crying, feeling as bare as a newborn, completely stripped off, when everything is new and fresh and intense and just too much.

This was just too much, but the tighter Hyunjin holds him the more memories return to Seungmin. Those of a life that had been, of love and struggles, of difficult decisions and promises. A life full of ups and downs, lefts and rights and every ugly emotion he felt in his life. And now that he remembers why he had been at this place, in this purgatory, and knows what it had been for, *who* it had been for. It all feels worthwhile.

And frankly, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

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fairyniceyeah · 5 months ago

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🧭🐶Day 19: "This can't be happening."

Sobbing/Straightjacket/Dissociation

@juneofdoom

Day 18: "I'm fine."

Summary: Seungmin knew something was wrong.

CW: dissociation, panic

Whumpee: Seungmin

Caretaker: Chan + Minho

Seungmin knew something was wrong.

He had realized a few weeks ago. Or maybe it had been months? He wasn't sure. Time as an idol sometimes didn't feel real - switching between so many schedules was overwhelming and it wasn't easy to keep track.

Well, normally Seungmin did have a good sense of time and happenings, able to recall their schedules when members like Felix or Changbin or Han came home in the evening and barely remembered what they had done that day. But Seungmin supposed he had reached a point where he also couldn't tell.

Maybe it should worry him. It didn't.

He didn't even know what day it was. Monday, maybe? Or Thursday? It didn't really matter anyway. He could just look at his schedules and see what was planned.

At times, this indifference scared him. At night he'd lie awake, not feeling anything. He'd never been this indifferent before to anything. Sure, he wasn't the most emotionally open member but he also did feel emotions. Not to an extent like Felix did, crying with every moment of sadness and laughing brightly with every second of happiness. That wasn't who Seungmin was.

But the real Seungmin also wasn't as … detached as he sometimes felt. Maybe detached wasn't the right word. He knew where he was, who he was, when he was. That would mean he wasn't detached from the world. Right?

Just, at times, Seungmin would only exist. His emotions didn't connect with him. Nothing did. Third person view. It was happening more often now, that he would watch his members do something and feel like he was watching all of them - himself included - through a wall of glass-clear water. Like you'd watch colorful fish in a green pont. Trapped inside the confines of the water and the way to the top, to fresh air, a barrier they didn't need or dare break.

The pont was a fantasy world and he was a cloud of mist watching from atop.

There had been that day during dance practice when he had first felt it. Seungmin had been struggling with the dance a lot for some time. He never was able to really understand the moves, struggling and tripping over his own feet.

Even Chan and Jeongin who had also struggled a lot had gotten the moves down two days ago. Still Seungmin made mistakes.

Minho had taken him aside, leaving the practice to Hyunjin and Felix, and had asked him what was going on. He'd been so kind, so understanding. But Seungmin didn't know - he just couldn't do it. His hyung had sighed, his hand resting on Seungmin's arm for a moment. Then they had done one on one practice - something Seungmin hadn't needed since their trainee days. He'd been too emotionally overwhelmed to care.

Then, as he danced, following Minho's steps, he slowly started to feel weird. Like he wasn't really there? It was hard to describe. He watched himself dance like he would watch Minho dance - an outside perspective. It would have been scary if he had been able to feel that - or any - emotion.

But for the first time in days, he got the dance down. Not as perfect as Minho, not as fluid as Felix or as passionate as Hyunjin but he did it. Without even thinking about it.

Minho's compliments felt hollow. It wasn’t him who had done that dance, was it?

Ever since instances such as that happened.

During vocal practice with Jeongin his mind had been so far away from his body, that he afterwards didn’t even remember learning the new technique the vocal coach had taught them. He pretended to know but he had spent a sleepless night of watching youtube tutorials on catching up with it. He still couldn’t really do it, didn’t remember how.

A photo shoot had been completely wiped from his mind. The photos had been so alien to look at - seeing himself in clothes he couldn’t remember wearing in a location he couldn’t remember being at and doing poses he couldn’t recall.

There had been several more moments and Seungmin knew how bad this was. Sudden memory loss? Feeling so far removed from himself that emotions didn’t seem to work? That were signs of something being very wrong with him. Yet, he never had been able to bring himself to tell anybody.

He didn’t want to make a fuss, be benched during heavy, stressful schedules when the other members would be even more stressed if he was out. He didn’t want to speak with a manager, private person that he was. He knew all his members would gladly listen to him and try to help but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. This seemed so bad, they’d be so worried.

No, he couldn’t burden them. Though he had nearly broken down and told Chan after that photo shoot but he had seldomly seen the leader so stressed at that time. So he had stayed silent.

Yet truth be told - every time he came back to himself or saw evidence of things he didn’t remember doing, he was so scared.

Ignoring was bliss, not having to face it was heaven.

Seungmin had no recollection of making himself coffee that morning or going to the company but he blinked and was standing in the hallway holding a cup from home. Felix was by his side, watching TikToks on his phone. He seemingly hadn’t even noticed how absent Seungmin was. Or maybe they had held a full conversation without Seungmin remembering it.

“Felix?”, he asked timidly.

“Yeah?”, the older answered distractedly.

What should he say? Seungmin hadn’t thought this through. Sorry, but I don’t remember the past thirty minutes at least? What’s up?

… had they even arrived together?

“What’s on the schedule today?”, he asked instead.

Felix furrowed his brow, looking up from his phone for the first time. “You okay? Since when don’t you know the schedule by heart?”, he asked, half-teasing, half-worried.

“Didn’t sleep well, didn’t have a chance to look at it”, Seungmin lied. Well, maybe it was the truth. He didn’t know.

“Oh no, I’m sorry. Let’s see, 3Racha want to record today. Let me pull up the schedule, you should be there … fifteen minutes ago”, Felix replied, looking up with wide eyes.

“Damn”, Seungmin cursed. He had never been late before, he hated being late. This was embarrassing. After a quick look at his phone - muted in his pocket - he saw he had five missed calls from Chan and Changbin and about fifty messages from Jisung. “Fuck.”

“Min-ah, are you okay?”, Felix asked, putting his own phone away and mustering Seungmin from head to toe, a hand on Seungmin’s wrist. It was difficult to have a conversation with the dancer without him touching you. Seungmin didn’t mind, it grounded him a bit.

“Yeah”, he choked out, “yeah, I gotta go. Sorry.”

He turned around and fled towards the elevators that would take him up to the studios.

The hallway seemed to stretch on as Seungmin rushed to the right studio, like it didn’t want him to arrive. His chest felt so heavy from guilt and fear and confusion that it was getting hard to breathe.

Just as he arrived at the right door, a hand on the knob and an apology on his lips, the door swung open to reveal a frazzled Chan.

“Seungmin”, he sighed, pulling the younger into the studio with him and forcefully closing the door behind them, “there you are. I was about to search for you. Han, text Minho back and tell him he can go practice and that we found our stray puppy.”

Shrinking into himself, Seungmin looked around. Luckily none of the three members looked angry but still he was scared. He hadn’t intended to make them wait. Changbin was sitting at the console, fiddling with the buttons but more out of boredom than with a purpose. Han was sprawled out on the sofa, rapidly tapping on his phone. Chan still stood beside Seungmin, looking him up and down with a frown.

“Are you okay, Min-ah?”, the leader asked.

Seungmin nodded jerkely. “I’m sorry, hyungs”, he apologized, bowing slightly, “I … I completely forgot. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s alright”, Changbin called, “this is the first time this has happened to you. Knowing you, you are beating yourself up about this more than any of us could - not that we want to. Are you ready?”

“Yeah”, he whispered quietly and brushed past the still concerned Chan to enter the recording booth.

The lyric sheet was already in position, so he took the few seconds he had to warm up his voice. Then he lifted the headphones to his ears and gave the others thumbs up through the glass wall.

He had practiced his lines often enough to already know them by heart - never mind that he still wasn’t really good at that particular technique. He knew he was doing a bad job from the start. The lack of warm-up and his own thoughts of guilt choked him, making him have to start over and over again.

Lost in the repetition he didn’t even really notice how he was slowly starting to lose himself. He closed his eyes in hopes that helped him hit the note but as he opened them, he was gone.

Seungmin knew he was standing in the recording booth, he knew what song he was recording. He knew that Chan, Changbin and Han were listening and making notes, fiddling with the control console. He knew all of that - but it was just like he was watching the scene on television. It was like he couldn’t interact with anything surrounding him, like it was removed from him. Maybe a different dimension. It didn’t feel real.

Still, he sang. The words didn’t register in his mind at all. Fuck.

This can’t be happening - not now. The thoughts repeated themselves in his head, louder than the words he sang. Was he still singing?

He needed to record, he needed to make up for his lateness with a good take. He owed it to 3Racha, to the group, to Stay.

Seungmin heard Chan speak through the speakers. Were the words directed at him? What was he saying? Was he speaking at all?

Everything felt so unreal.

Shit, Seungmin needed to snap himself out of this … episode. He didn’t want to …

Before he could think of anything that would help - nothing before had helped - Chan stood in front of him, taking the headphones off his dongsaeng. When had he come in? Chan’s lips were moving but Seungmin couldn’t seem to hear a word he was saying.

He was just watching. Everything was so foggy, so dream-like.

Was this a nightmare? Suddenly, his chest felt tight. At least he thought so. Fear didn’t register in his mind. He just didn’t care, didn’t feel, didn’t exist.

Or maybe he was a shooting star. Passing by the earth, a moment of happiness for those who saw but doomed to die soon after, fade into nothingness.

Then he saw Chan wrap his arms around Seungmin’s body. He knew, he knew that he should be able to feel it. There should have been soft and warm pressure against his chest, comforting hands rubbing up and down his spine. He should have been able to smell Chan’s familiar aftershave from where his nose was buried against the leader’s neck. He should have been able to feel the soft rumbling of his hyung’s chest as he spoke. To him, maybe? Or to Changbin and Han? Seungmin should have been able to hear him speak.

But he didn’t.

That’s when the panic set in. Before he knew what he was doing, he started to struggle against the arms holding him though he didn’t feel them. But even as Chan let go of him, everything was so detached. So removed. So far away.

“Hyung”, Seungmin rasped, tears choking him up as he heard himself speak, “hyung, nothing feels real.”

Then, for a long time, he didn’t feel anything at all.

The first feeling that came back to Seungmin was coldness. He shivered, trying to get away from it. It moved away. A warmness came to the same place. Was that a hand on his cheek?

Seungmin blinked. Somebody was looking down at him. No, not just somebody. Chan.

Chan’s hand was stroking his face.

Seungmin opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out.

“Don’t try to speak if you can’t. Can you hear me?”, Chan asked then, gently and calmly. His presence was so comforting, like a warm blanket.

Seungmin nodded. He looked around, head still but eyes moving.

The room was familiar, though the perspective was distorted. No, he realized then, he was just laying down. On the sofa in the recording studio. How had he come to be there? He didn’t know. He couldn’t muster the strength to care.

“Take it slow, baby”, Chan said, “it’s just you, me and Minho.”

Seungmin was allowed to drift for some time. Just exist.

Slowly things became more noticeable around him. There was coldness on his wrists and feet. He shivered but the coldness stayed. A strange aroma caught his attention. Curry? Spice? Something like that. Soft voices spoke above him and then, as he was finally able to turn his head, Seungmin saw Minho sitting on the floor by his side, conversing quietly with Chan.

“Hyung?”, he whispered, reaching out with his hand before he even knew what he was doing. The coldness fell from his wrist. An ice pack. Minho caught his hand in his and smiled at him.

“Hi, Seungmin-ah”, he said quietly, “take your time. We’ll stay with you.”

“What happened?”, Seungmin rasped, lifting his head up. He was so exhausted. But he felt a bit more connected now.

“We think you dissociated”, Minho said, throwing a glance at Chan, “do you know what that is, Min-ah?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to stay laying down like this. He tried to push himself up but realized he was too weak to do so. His arms gave up under him and he nearly fell back down. Chan caught him, his grip gentle and lifted him up. Then he settled himself on the sofa, pulling Seungmin into his lap. The leader’s strong arms wrapped around him. Never before had Seungmin felt so safe, so protected.

Minho climbed onto the couch with them, sitting down cross-legged across them and took Seungmin’s hands in his, the grip a bit tighter than normally. It was comforting.

“Basically dissociation means that a person starts to feel disconnected from their surroundings. Unable to feel things or see themselves in third person view, like they see others”, Minho explained, “there are other things that might happen but I’m no expert.”

“You said things didn’t feel real?”, Chan asked.

Seungmin nodded. “Yeah”, he whispered. His tongue felt a bit too big and too awkward in his mouth and he stumbled over his words, “like Minho-hyung said. I saw myself but I couldn’t hear you or feel anything or … everything felt like I was in a dream. A nightmare. I think I should have been afraid but I wasn’t. I couldn’t feel anything, any emotion, at all.”

“Oh, baby”, Minho said gently, “I’m sorry this happened to you. How do you feel now?”

“Tired. Scared”, Seungmin whispered, “I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Yeah, I know. Dissociation is really scary. But I don’t think it has to happen again. It can be a one time thing”, Chan said, “well, the internet says so. I can understand it’s really scary when it happens the first time but likely it won’t happen again.”

“But …”, Seungmin said, voice trailing off and getting quieter with every word, “this wasn’t the first time.”

“No?”, Minho asked, surprised. Chan tensed behind him, causing Seungmin to tense himself. Chan immediately relaxed again, rubbing Seungmin’s arms to calm him down. It only slightly helped. Seungmin knew he was working himself up but as he went to speak, he burst into tears.

“It happened at that dance practice, when you showed me the moves one on one. It wasn’t like I was there but like I was watching myself dance. But it worked so I didn’t say anything. Then it happened again and again. I’d watch things happen like through a fog or a glass. And other times I’d … that photoshoot two weeks ago? I don’t remember it. At all. When I saw the pictures later I had no recollection of doing that shoot”, Seungmin whispered, breath hitching as he sobbed, “then today, again. That’s why I was late. I opened my eyes and was in the hallway of the company, holding a coffee I don’t remember making, next to Felix. Did I arrive with Felix? I … I asked about the schedule, I couldn’t remember it. That’s when he realized I was late, so I came here. And then during the recording I … I saw you hugging me but I couldn’t feel it. Hyungs, I am so scared.”

As Chan rocked him from side to side and Minho gently played with Seungmin’s fingers, he gradually managed to calm down again. He knew he could trust his hyungs and not being alone in his secrets and his fears was relieving.

“Min-ah, why didn’t you say?”, Chan asked worriedly, “we would have helped you. This has been going on for so long. How did we not notice?”

“Well”, Minho started, his brows furrowed as he looked down at his phone, “Felix says, that you two talked about the show you watched yesterday? But you don’t remember.”

“No. No, I don’t.” Seungmin’s voice shook. “I need help, hyungs, I need help. Memory loss is so bad. Something is wrong with me and it’s getting worse, I think.”

“You’ll get help”, Chan said, moving Seungmin’s head so he was resting on his shoulder, “I promise, we’ll figure this out. The fact that the memory loss is going hand in hand with what seems to be dissociation probably means that it’s connected. It can be a symptom. Also, the fact that the ice and the strong smell helped you come back from this, also makes it likely you’re just dissociating.”

He lifted his fingers to air-quote as he said just. Because it wasn’t. It wasn’t just a simple thing.

“Chan will call a manager later to find you a psychiatrist, okay? We’ll see what an expert says but we’ll be with you all the time to help you, okay?”, Minho promised.

Seungmin nodded in thanks. While he was still scared, the prospect of professional help calmed him down somewhat. He was so so grateful to his hyungs. Suddenly, he yawned and had to fight his eyes falling shut against his will. While he was indeed very tired, his curiosity was still bigger.

“Where are Changbinnie-hyung and Hannie-hyung?”, he asked quietly, “and did the ice and the smell really help? How did you know it would?”

“Half-asleep and still thirsting for knowledge”, Minho teased. Seungmin felt Chan’s chest rumble as he laughed.

“I sent them to get Minho when we realized something was going on with you”, Chan explained, “I didn’t want Han to be scared or possibly have a panic attack when we didn't know what was going on. And yeah, the ice and the smell was Minho’s idea and it really helped. It was a bit unnerving to see you stare up blankly but soon after the ice touched you, you at least started blinking. I am also curious though. How did you know?”

Minho flushed a bit red under the attention. “Well, uh, I didn’t know but I thought it was worth a try. I , uh, well, I saw it happen with Namjoon-hyung when I was one of their back-up dancers. I don’t really remember why but it was just Namjoon-hyung, Suga-hyung and me when Namjoon-hyung went blank - kinda like you did. I was really worried so Suga-hyung explained it to me. Ice helped Namjoon-hyung a lot and well, Suga-hyung always carried around smelling salts for him, apparently. So I figured, since we didn’t have smelling salts, that the instant curry I had in my bag would also help.”

“You brought me back from dissociation with instant curry?”, Seungmin asked incredulously.

“Hey”, Minho defended himself, lifting his hands, “it helped, didn’t it?”

“Yeah”, Seungmin mumbled begrudgingly and yawned again, closing his eyes and nuzzling closer to Chan. He was already half-asleep when he heard Chan mumble: “Sleep, baby. Hyungs are here, we’ll figure this out together.”

Day 20: "I can handle it."

Masterlist link: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's June of Doom 2024

Notes: I have never dissociated before - so this is just based on what I read. I hope this is okay and doesn't play into wrong stereotypes!

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empatheticwhumper · 2 years ago

Text

Therapy? What therapy? My self prescribed therapy is just watching Red Lights by Stray Kids over and over until I’m a little less sad T_T

#red lights #stray kids #skz #whump music video #nah cuz like I watched aib s2 recently #and it set me back into a SKZ mood #cuz #hwang hyunjin #and #chisiya shuntaro #remind me of each other

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newbbystay · 1 day ago

Note

*screeching*

THAT WAS SO GOOOOD!!!!!!!

I love ur writing sm, like I would worship you if you wrote this request, basically, you are the 9th member of skz, yall are all dating, and today, they all had a concert. The first half of it went fine, but somewhere in the second half, you all heard gunshots, you reacting the fastest, saw them heading to (member of your choice) so you shove them out of the way while you take the bullet (chivalrous ikr). The members all immediately stop the concert despite u reassuring then you could finish (with blood everywhere) then the ending is just comfort and angst bc they didn't sallow u to do anything, and you got bored. Plsss take ur time if ur going to make this, I will literally cherish this with my heart if you make it

𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕒 𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕖?

Warning: Angst

Summary: Request!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It happened so fast.

One second, Y/N was standing next to Felix and Han, laughing and joking around with them, and the next, there was a blood-curdling scream that shattered the lighthearted atmosphere.

"Guys, duck!" Y/N screamed, her voice sharp and urgent.

She barely had time to process what was happening before instinct took over. In a split second, she shoved Felix and Han out of the way, her hands landing on their shoulders with enough force to knock them off balance. The world seemed to slow as they stumbled back, confusion still clouding their faces.

"Y/N—what—?" Felix started to say, but his words were cut off by the deafening sound of something heavy crashing against the floor.

The moment she pushed them away, Y/N’s eyes darted to the source of the danger. She had been watching them—Felix, Han, and the rest of the group—having fun, playing with the toys and gifts they had gotten from STAY. It was supposed to be a lighthearted day, a sign-meet with fans, some laughter, and silly moments. But something had felt off all day. The atmosphere felt thinner, like the air itself was stretched too tight, and Changbin had been out with a stomach bug, so the energy was lower than usual. They didn’t want to do the event, but it had been scheduled. They had no choice.

They’d gathered so many toys and gifts from STAY that it seemed like they were almost swimming in them. But right now, they were just strolling on stage, talking casually to the fans in the crowd. Y/N had been teasing Chan all day—playfully, of course. Then she had moved on to teasing the members of the Racha subunit—Felix and Han—just like she always did.

"Y/Nnie, look," Felix giggled, suddenly putting a pair of bunny ears on her head.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head in amusement as she grabbed a pair of oversized sunglasses from one of the gifts. "I look ridiculous," she said, still smiling.

"Let's take a picture!" Han beamed, grabbing the selfie stick and clicking a few shots, each one more ridiculous than the last.

Y/N held up a tiny pony plushie in front of them, laughing at how tiny it was. "Look what STAY got me," she giggled, passing it to the two of them.

The pair squatted down, completely entranced by the toy, their faces lighting up with genuine curiosity. Y/N snapped a few pictures of them, capturing how adorable they looked. She smiled softly, feeling a deep warmth in her chest. These were the moments she treasured—the small, quiet seconds when everything felt perfect.

Her gaze shifted over to Hyunjin, who was laughing with his usual carefree energy. She raised an eyebrow, confused, before her eyes landed on Chan.

The sight that met her eyes made her stifle a laugh. Chan, their leader, was wearing a tiara. It was completely ridiculous.

"So silly," she thought, shaking her head with a grin. She opened her mouth to call out to the crowd.

"Stay, don't you think our leader is a little too old to be a princess?" she teased, her voice light and playful.

Before she could even finish her sentence, she heard Chan yell, "Hey!" into the microphone, and a few giggles escaped from the crowd.

STAY responded with loud, drawn-out "nooo's," their laughter ringing out. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully at them but kept her focus on Han and Felix, who were still deeply engrossed in the tiny pony toy.

But something didn’t feel right. A strange sense of unease settled in her chest, making her skin crawl. She was on high alert now, her body rigid as her eyes scanned the surroundings. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

And then it happened.

A sound.

It was faint at first—a click, barely noticeable over the laughter and chatter around her. But it was enough to make Y/N freeze. The sound sent a jolt of adrenaline straight through her, and her military training kicked in. She had been through safety drills before debut, and she knew exactly what that sound was.

A gunshot.

Before she could react, a blur of motion caught her eye. A figure—clad in a large hoodie, with Felix’s SKZOO merch clearly visible—stood up from the crowd. The person’s face was obscured, but their intent was clear. The girl was shaking, tears streaking down her face, but her hands were steady as she raised the weapon in their direction.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Y/N didn’t have time to think. The world moved in slow motion as she lunged forward, adrenaline flooding her body.

"NO!" Y/N screamed, her hands pushing Han and Felix out of the way just as the girl pulled the trigger.

The loud bang of the gunshot reverberated in her ears as Y/N threw herself onto the ground, the sharp, metallic scent of fear thick in the air. Felix and Han hit the floor in a tangle of limbs, their faces contorted in confusion and terror. But Y/N barely noticed.

Her eyes were trained on the girl. The gun had been aimed at the boys, and Y/N’s body had moved before her mind could even catch up.

Everything happened so fast. One second, they were all laughing and smiling, and the next, Y/N had just saved their lives.

But the danger wasn't over. The moment her body hit the ground, she heard the sound of people shouting, running, and chaos erupting all around her.

Security was swift, moving through the chaos like trained professionals, their hands outstretched to clear the crowd and usher the members away from danger. But in the chaos, Felix crawled toward her, his face twisted in panic. His hands grasped at her arm, pulling her closer as he let out a strangled yelp of distress.

"Y/N! No, no, no!" he cried, his voice breaking.

She could barely move, her body feeling heavy and unresponsive. The adrenaline rush was fading, and all that was left was pain. As security worked to move her out of harm's way, Y/N’s side felt like it was on fire. It stung with every movement, sharp and unbearable. She forced her eyes open, her vision hazy, and that’s when she saw it.

Blood.

It was seeping through the fabric of her crop top, dark and spreading quickly. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"Y/N?!" Han’s voice was frantic, barely audible over the chaos, but she could hear the terror in his tone as he tried to reach her. His voice cracked. "Oh my God… Y/N!"

Through the blur of bodies and flashing lights, she saw Chan, Hyunjin, I.N, and Seungmin being pushed away, separated from the group. But even from a distance, Y/N could hear Chan's voice—loud, desperate, shouting for them.

"Do something!" Felix screamed at the security guard who was already dialing 911, his voice thick with panic.

"Y/N? Can you hear me?" Han sobbed, his hands trembling as he tried to pull off her tight clothes to check the wound, his movements erratic in his panic. Felix had moved to her side, gently cradling her head in his hands, trying to keep her conscious.

"We need backup!" the security guard shouted, his voice tense as he spoke into his radio.

Y/N could barely register what was happening. Everything was moving too fast, and she felt too much, too much pressure, too much noise, too many people around her.

"Guys? Where are you?!" I.N shouted, pushing through the commotion, his voice filled with alarm as he searched frantically for his friends.

"Get Chan, I.N!" Felix yelled, his eyes wild with fear. "She got shot! Get him now!"

I.N froze for a second, stunned by the reality of the situation. His gaze swept over Y/N’s body, the blood staining her clothes, and his eyes went wide in shock. "What the hell?!" he gasped, his voice shaking as he took a step back.

"Get Chan, now! Go!" Han shouted again, his voice hoarse from the panic that was threatening to consume him. He reached down, trying to stop the bleeding, but his hands shook too much to do anything useful. He was a mess, just as terrified as Felix.

"Ow..." Y/N gasped, the pain intensifying now that the adrenaline was wearing off. A sharp, searing ache shot through her abdomen, and she couldn’t stop the scream that tore from her throat. It was raw, desperate, and filled with a pain she couldn’t even understand.

Everyone was crowding around her, too many hands, too much noise, too much pressure. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She wanted them all to stop.

"Felix? Han?" she gasped, her chest rising and falling in shallow, panicked breaths. She felt like she was suffocating. "Please... please, let me go." Her voice was weak, barely above a whisper. She couldn’t stand it—everything was too much. She wanted space. She wanted air.

"Baby, we’re right here," Felix’s voice was soft, but there was desperation in it. He was cradling her head, his fingers gentle against her skin. "We’re not going anywhere. We're right here, okay?"

"Chan... Chan..." Y/N whimpered, her hands trembling as she reached out for anything, anything to grab onto. Her fingers found nothing but air. She could feel the pain growing, spreading through her body, and she knew she couldn’t last much longer without him.

"Chan..." she repeated, her voice breaking as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to hold on.

The paramedics were on her now, their hands moving quickly as they hooked her up to various machines, pushing IVs into her arms, trying to stabilize her. Y/N barely felt it. The sharp prick of the needles was nothing compared to the agony she felt in her abdomen.

"We need space!" one of the paramedics barked, his voice cold and professional, as the others worked to stabilize her. The security guards, looking frantic themselves, began pushing Felix and Han away to give the paramedics room to work.

"No!" Felix shouted, struggling against the security guard’s hold. His heart was hammering in his chest. "I need to be right here! She’s claustrophobic—don’t you see? She’ll panic if you take us away!"

"Please, we need space to work!" the paramedic insisted, his voice hardening as he tried to maintain control of the situation.

But Felix wasn’t backing down. He twisted in the guard’s grip, desperation clear on his face. "No! You don’t understand! She’ll freak out! She needs us! She needs me!"

"Where is she?! Where is she?!" Chan’s voice rang through the air, raw with panic as he shoved his way through the crowd. His eyes were bloodshot, his face streaked with tears, and his entire body trembled with rage and fear.

I.N had reached him, breathless from running, and before he could say anything, Chan’s eyes locked onto him, wild and frantic. "Where is she?!" he demanded again, his voice breaking.

"She’s over here! She’s over here!" I.N shouted, pointing through the crowd. "They’re working on her, Chan. They’re trying to save her."

The scene in front of him was like a nightmare. Chan’s heart stopped for a moment as he caught sight of Y/N, bloodied and pale, surrounded by paramedics, with Felix and Han still hovering anxiously at her side. His chest tightened, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe.

He had to get to her. He had too. He couldn’t lose her.

With one final push, Chan broke through the crowd, his eyes wide, his breath ragged. "Y/N!" he cried, reaching for her.

His hands gripped hers with a desperation that didn’t care about the blood soaking into his clothes. The warmth of her skin, so pale and lifeless, felt like the last connection he had to her.

"We need to transfer her now," the paramedic said, his voice steady but urgent. "I’m sorry, sir. You can ride with us if you’d like."

Chan barely heard him. His focus was on Y/N, on her cold hand slipping from his as the paramedics gently lifted her onto the stretcher. His grip faltered, but he didn’t want to let go. Please don’t leave me, his mind screamed, but reality was moving too fast.

“Y-yeah, I’m coming,” he whispered, wiping his face with the back of his hand, trying to clear the tears, but it didn’t matter. They kept coming. He took a shaky breath and stood up, his legs feeling like they might collapse beneath him. He had to move.

“I need Lee Know. Where is he?” Chan asked, his voice hoarse as he searched frantically for a familiar face.

One of the managers, still on the phone, glanced up from her conversation. “His changing room. He doesn’t know anything’s going on right now,” she said quickly, cutting off the call. “Go get Lee Know now,” she ordered another staff member, who immediately ran off in search of the missing member.

Chan nodded, turning to go after Y/N’s stretcher, but a shout stopped him in his tracks.

“Hyung!”

His heart skipped a beat. He turned, finding Felix in I.N’s arms, his face streaked with tears, his body shaking violently. Han, still in a state of panic, had managed to get through the crowd and was now crumpled into Chan’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

“This is my fault, hyung! This is all my fault!” Han choked out between gasps for air, his voice thick with guilt. “She won’t forgive me, she won’t forgive me…”

Chan’s heart broke for him. He pulled Han closer, trying to soothe him, even though his own chest felt like it was being crushed. “Hey… shh,” he cooed softly, brushing his hand through Han’s hair. “Stop. It’s not your fault. You hear me? None of this is your fault. Don’t think like that.”

Han’s sobs only grew louder, and Chan, desperate to calm him, took off his sweater and wrapped it around Han’s shoulders. He was only wearing a vest, and Chan could see how shaken and cold he was. “Let’s go to the hospital, yeah?” Chan said, his voice firm but gentle.

Han nodded slowly, wiping his face with a trembling hand. “Yeah… yeah, hyung.”

Before they could move, another voice cut through the commotion, sharp and full of rage.

“Hyung?! What the hell?!”

Chan turned to find Lee Know standing at the edge of the crowd, his face flushed with anger and confusion. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes—bloodshot from lack of sleep and stress—were scanning the room in disbelief.

“Why wasn’t I told before? Where is she? What the hell happened?” Lee Know was seething, his voice low but furious, and Chan felt his stomach drop.

“She’s with the paramedics,” Chan said quickly, trying to keep his voice steady despite the chaos. “I need you to take the kids and meet me at the hospital. Please.”

Lee Know barely seemed to hear him. His eyes were still darting around the room, searching for something, anything, that could make sense of the mess. “Okay, but if she dies, I swear to God…” His voice trembled with emotion, a dangerous edge creeping into his words. “I’ll sue this company. I don’t care about my image. If anything happens to her…”

“Lee Know, not now, please…” Chan interrupted, his voice pleading as he grabbed his phone from the assistant who had been trying to help him. He needed to leave. He needed to be with her. “Just take care of the kids. Get them to the hospital.”

Lee Know nodded sharply, his face tight with a mix of anger and worry. He didn’t say anything more as he reached for Han, pulling him gently out of Chan’s arms. “I got you, Han. Let’s go.”

Chan didn’t have time to process it all. He was already rushing through the crowd, trying to catch up with the paramedics. His mind was a blur, thoughts racing too fast to make sense of them. All that mattered was Y/N. He had to be with her.

As he finally caught up with the paramedics, his heart skipped again. He sat in the back as he watched them work. He could hear them talking to each other, medical jargon flying over his head, but he didn’t care about any of it. His eyes were fixed on Y/N’s pale form, her chest rising and falling with the aid of an oxygen mask. Her face was still, and the blood on her clothes haunted him, more than any words could.

"Y/N…" he whispered, his voice cracking. "Please, stay with me. Please."

One of the paramedics glanced at him, then at Y/N. "We’re almost there, sir. We need you to stay calm. We’ll do everything we can."

But Chan barely heard them. His grip on his phone tightened, his thumb brushing over the screen as he dialed Changbin, his mind only focused on one thing: whoever did this had to pay.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Don't forget to reblog and follow! <3

A/N: Thank you @galaxy4489!

Taglist: @ihrtlix@bowsnbang@katsukis1wife@thegingerthatwaited@thicccurls

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@galaxy4489 @purplepursepaint @catlove83 @sillystormsstuff @iwuberic

@cocofia143 @royal-shinigami @virluna148 @galaxycatdrawz @memersanonymous

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@aalexyuuuhm @kenaicantcommunicate @fiestaplum-skz

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dudadragneel · 8 months ago

Text

And I'm back!

I hope you'll enjoy it!

This fic is based on a TikTok I saw!

THE ONLY HYUNG

Idols tend to receive tons of gifts from fans to the point where the companies issue a statement that they won't be accepting any more. But that also has to do with their safety, you never know what a sasaeng can do.

One day, Chan and Lee Know decided to go live to open some of the gifts they had recently received.

They had managed to get the staff away so they could be a little more carefree during the live, but still paying attention to what they said.

They enjoyed opening up all the presents and fan letters, some even made them tear up.

It was all going well until things unexpectedly took a turn for the worse. Before going live they had lunch and since eating Lee Know was feeling bloated, as if he ate a serving for three people.

As they went on he kept on taking his hand to his stomach and rubbing it in useless attempts to calm it down. But he kept his composure, as much as he could, the last thing he wanted was to get sick live.

Chan had picked up on Lee Know's obvious discomfort and placed a hand on his thighs, trying to comfort him without saying anything.

Lee Know tried his best to focus on his hyung's touch and the presents, but eventually, it got too much. His stomach was churning and his head started to hurt as well.

Before he even noticed he had lowered his head so it was now resting on his hand and Chan immediately stopped everything he was doing and turned his attention to Lee Know.

- hyung...I feel sick...

Chan got closer to him and started massaging his nape. He knew that if Lee Know admitted to feeling unwell, it meant it was really bad.

The staff that was monitoring the live from another room, had gone to the room where they were but before they could get in, Chan glared at them, and a single nod made them leave. He knew Lee Know wouldn't want attention right now.

- Do you want some water?

- No...I feel nauseous...

He said, bringing his hand to his stomach one more time and letting out a sigh. Chan grabbed Lee Know's hand and started rubbing it with his thumb.

- Do you wanna go to the bathroom?

- hm...I want to throw up...

- Let's go. Hyung will help you.

Chan placed his arms under Lee Know's and helped him up, being in a standing position was not something his stomach had agreed to so he lurched forward suppressing a gag with his hand.

- Hang on just a little more, okay?

He embraced his dongsaeng and guided him to the bathroom and into one of the stalls, locking the door behind them.

Usually, Lee Know would rather deal with this on his own but he acted like a dongsaeng when he was with Chan. The difference in how he acts is huge.

Lee Know bent over, hands on the edges for support, and started gagging unproductively.

He kept on rocking back and forth, spitting out saliva and retching, but whatever it was that made him feel like that was not coming up.

Chan was rubbing his back up and down, with the softest expression on his face.

- hyung...

Lee Know whined.

- I know it hurts... it'll be over soon.

Lee Know squeezed his eyes when his stomach cramped badly making him gag unproductively again.

Chan took his chance to help his dongsaeng by gently rubbing his abdomen in a circular motion.

Lee Know retched a few times before a wet burp triggered his sensitive stomach, bringing up partially digested food. Chan could swear he saw chunks of what was Lee Know's lunch from earlier and grimaced at the gross sight.

His stomach did not give him a break and before he could even breathe, it sent up a thicker stream of putrid vomit immediately followed by another making the poor boy go red from the effort and sway forward.

Chan tightened his hold on Lee Know so that the boy wouldn't fall and used his other hand to rub Lee Know's chest, trying to comfort the sick boy.

- Agh...

Lee Know groaned at the discomfort he was feeling before another bout of vomit gushed out with a wet burp, arching his back.

- You're doing good. Get everything out. It must have been the lunch. You'll feel better when it's all out of your system.

Lee Know spat out thick saliva and then his stomach gave him a break. But now his head was throbbing from the ordeal and he felt a little dizzy, like someone was squeezing his head.

- Minho-ah? Do you think you're done?

- Hyung...I need to sit down...

- Are you feeling dizzy?

- hm...

Lee Know just nodded swallowing hard. Chan carefully guided him so he was now sitting down on the floor. Thank God for the ridiculously clean bathrooms of the company.

The younger boy was kind of in a daze with how things went south in a matter of minutes, so Chan stepped up to keep on helping him, getting some toilet paper to wipe Lee Know's mouth.

- Thanks hyung...

- How are you feeling?

Chan asked sitting beside Lee Know who was resting his head on his hand again and kept on rubbing his back reassuringly.

- Sick...my stomach is churning and now my head hurts...

- Do you want to move to the studio?

- No... I feel like I'll throw up again...

- Okay. We'll stay here then. I'll be right here with you.

Chan reassured, grabbing Lee Know's hand and squeezing it.

- Agh..

Lee Know winced again...

- What is it?

- My head is throbbing....Hyung...can I rest my head on your hand?

- Of course.

Chan couldn't deny that he was taken aback by the sudden request, Lee Know being this vulnerable was a rare sight, one that was mostly only shown to Chan.

Lee Know rested his head on his hyung's hand, allowing the whole weight to be held by Chan. The pressure against his forehead miraculously helped with the throbbing pain.

Even so, Chan kept rubbing Lee Know's back, and for a while, the young boy seemed to have calmed down.

- Minho-ah, were you feeling like this before?

- Only after lunch...my stomach felt too full...

- I think it might've been the lunch.

The young boy was still resting his head on his hyung's hand when he started shivering a bit. Chan could feel Lee Know's forehead was starting to feel hot and that was an indicator that this wasn't a case of food not sitting well, it was most likely food poisoning.

- It's cold in here...

- I think you're starting to run a fever, Minho-ah. I'm pretty sure this is food poisoning.

- Great.

Lee Know said, clearly getting mad at the situation. He hated feeling sick, weak, and vulnerable but he felt safe to feel like this when he was with Chan.

The chills just wouldn't stop and his stomach was determined to get everything out.

It cramped badly again making him gag, startling Chan a bit, who was still holding the boy's head.

- Hyung...I'm gonna be sick...

He said weakly gagging again on his hand and failing to contain a bit of liquid that escaped his mouth but thankfully hit the floor and didn't get on his clothes. He already felt too weak so Chan had to help him to the toilet, holding his forehead and keeping the boy's hair away from his eyes.

Lee Know didn't even have time to think before his stomach contracted making more vomit rush up his throat. The thick wave that came out still had chunks of food, given that he had just eaten, and it triggered another wave that was followed by another one leaving him breathless.

- You're really not okay.

Chan said, somewhat impressed by how quickly his symptoms worsened, which meant that Lee Know's immune system was not in good condition.

The older boy kept on rubbing Lee Know's back and then moved to his chest when he choked, the bout that followed made food come out of his nose as well.

Fuck. He cursed inside, today just wasn't his day, and if it was really food poisoning, then this suffering would last a few days.

He straightened his back and took a deep breath in, trying to control his body, but gagged a few times before he was over the toilet one more time retching up what felt like it was yesterday's dinner.

After this bout he was dry heaving, just barely bringing up thick saliva and bile. Chan decided to flush the toilet before the stench and sight triggered Lee Know's stomach again.

- Grab my hand.

Chan offered but he didn't even need to, as Lee Know did that immediately, trying to take deep breaths to control the nausea that persisted.

- Come on, breathe with me, just like what we did that day.

Lee Know was still squeezing Chan's hand as he was guided through the breathing exercise. A few minutes after, he was more calm.

- Better?

- Yeah...

- Do you feel like you're gonna puke again?

- No...not now at least.

- Do you wanna move to the studio?

- Yeah...hyung, can you help me up? I feel dizzy...

- Sure, come on.

Chan placed his arms under Lee Know's again and lifted him, most of the boy's weight being held by his hyung.

- Let's rinse your mouth first.

While Lee Know did that, Chan wiped the sweat off his damp forehead and only then noticed that Lee Know's face was already pretty flushed because of the fever.

And the dancer couldn't deny, his whole body ached because of the fever, even Chan's hold on him hurt.

The oldest carefully guided Lee Know to his studio and lay him on the couch, covering his shivering body with a blanket and leaving a bin nearby.

- Minho-ah, hyung will go tell the manager what happened and see what we'll do okay?

- Yes...

When Chan got to the practice room, he was met with worried eyes, that were clearly asking what happened without saying a word.

- Chan-hyung, where were you?

- You were doing a live with Lee Know hyung, right?

- Yeah. Kids, gather here. Lee Know got sick, he probably has food poisoning. He threw up a couple of times and he's running a fever.

- Where is he?

- I took him to my studio, that's the place where he'd get more privacy.

At that time, their manager came into the room and upon noticing one member missing went straight to the gathered group.

- What happened? Where Lee Know-ssi?

- He got sick during the live. He threw up a few times and he's running a fever. I'm guessing it's food poisoning. Should we take him to the hospital?

- Going to the hospital can be a hassle, especially because of the possibility of encountering fans and god forbid, saesengs. Let's take him home and see if we can make him stay hydrated and fed, if in two days he doesn't manage to keep anything down, well take him.

- Okay.

- Since you have no official schedules, if you want to you can go home as well kids.

- I think Lee Know-hyung would want to keep his privacy for a while. We'll go have lunch and go back home later.

- Okay then.

The manager said, leaving the room to inform the other staff about the situation.

- Kids, can you gather Lee Know's thing for me? I'll go check on him.

- Yes, hyung.

Chan promptly left the room, worried about the sick dongsaeng in his studio. Opening the door, he found Lee Knows hunched over the couch spilling more of his stomach's content into the bin.

He went to his side, sitting on the edge of the couch, repeating the same process from earlier, holding his forehead and rubbing his back, and noticing that the fever had worsened, he could feel the heat through Lee Know's clothes.

- Hyung...it hurts...

- I know... we'll take you home in a few minutes okay?

- Okay.

- Can I dispose of this? Or are you gonna vomit again?

- I feel empty...but the nausea is still here...

- Okay.

Chan went to the bathroom and quickly returned.

- The boys gathered your things, the managed will take us home.

Lee Know stood out his arms so Chan could help him sit up and then waited a few seconds to see if he would throw up again.

- You good?

- Yeah...

- Want me to carry you?

Lee Know's face which was already red due to the fever had gotten even more red.

- Uhm...

He hummed in agreement, head down a little embarrassed. Chan just smiled fondly, even though Lee Know couldn't see.

The leader positioned himself kneeling in front of Lee Know so he could climb on his back, wrapping his arms around his hyun and burying his face.

Chan walked out of his studio and was greeted by their manager holding Lee Know's bag and a big coat which he used to cover Lee Know who was still shivering.

Thankfully their van was parked in the garage so no chance of paparazzi.

Chan settled Minho inside the car and sat beside him, pulling his head so it was resting on his shoulder.

- Manager-nim, do we have a plastic bag?

- I think we do, hold on.

The manager looked inside the glove box and found a plastic bag from one of the many grocery shopping he did with the kids, and handed it to Chan.

- If you feel sick, just let me know okay?

- hmm...

Lee Know just hummed, his fever making him sleepy and dizzy. Chan offered his hand for the sick boy to hold and he did it without hesitation. And again Chan was surprised by how hot he felt, it was high enough to mess with his breathing, and they didn't have a thermometer in the studio so he had no idea how high it was.

A few minutes into the ride home, Lee Know felt increasingly nauseous, burping wetly from time to time. Then he felt something creeping up his chest, a foul taste in his mouth.

He squeezed Chan's hand as he began to swallow convulsively, not wanting to throw up in front of their manager.

- Are you feeling nauseous again?

Lee Know just nodded, swallowing hard and then suppressing a gag, his stomach clearly mad at him for trying to swallow it down.

- Don't hold it in, Minho-ah. He's seen us sick before.

Chan reassured, not letting go of Lee Know's hand and putting the bag under his chin.

The boy helplessly ducked his head closer to the bag just in time for a wet burp to bring up a wave of putrid liquid hitting the bag. Lee Know kept squeezing Chan's hand, that was the only thing keeping him sane and grounded at the moment. Another queasy burp brought up another mouthful of vomit, and by now both he and Chan were thinking he was vomiting everything he ate during the week.

- We're almost there Lee Know-ssi.

Lee Know Just spat out some thick saliva and then just leaned his whole weight on Chan, who was holding the dirty bag, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible, before the stench filled the car.

When they arrived at the dorms, the manager quickly got out of the car and went to Chan's side to get the bag and dispose of it.

- Minho-ah. We're home.

Chan said softly, caressing the sick boy's arm in an attempt to wake him up. Lee Know was barely conscious but he managed to move so he was sitting on the edge of the car's seat for Chan to pick him up.

- Here we go. Are you okay? Do you feel nauseous?

- No...

- Okay, I'll start moving then.

The manager carried their stuff while Chan carried a flushed face Lee Know, who also looked a little pale.

Entering the dorm, Chan sat Lee Know on the couch and the manager put their things in their bedrooms.

- Call me if you need anything, okay? I'll leave you two alone. Get better soon, Lee Know-ssi.

- Thanks, hyung.

Lee Know said before ducking his head and looking between his knees, he brought a hand to his stomach and sighed. Chan had gone to the bedroom to get Lee Know a fresh set of clothes and a thermometer.

- Let me take your temperature and then I'll help you take a bath, okay?

- yes...

Just as Chan suspected, the fever was really high 38.8°C.

- Minho-ah, we need to cool you down and we need to try to take some medicine, okay?

Just the thought of having to take a pill and most likely taste it was enough to trigger his stomach.

- hyung...

Lee Know called grabbing Chan's arm for dear life.

- bathroom...

He already felt something coming up his throat so he didn't manage to say a proper sentence.

- Come on.

Chan promptly helped his dongsaeng up, grabbed the change of clothes, and rushed to the bathroom with him.

Lee Know went straight to the toilet, vomit spewing out without much control and getting on the edges and the floor.

- Don't worry about that, hyung will clean it up.

Chan reassured placing the clothes on the sink and then going to Lee Know's side to rub his back and his chest for the nth time that day. Chan was scared at how much content was still coming out after the few rounds from earlier, he was getting afraid they'd have to take him to the hospital. As the oldest hyung, he just wanted his dongsaeng's well-being but avoiding the hospital is something everyone wanted.

As Lee Know continued to puke his guts out, Chan prepared his bath.

When he was done, Chan helped him out of his sweaty clothes and helped him into the shower, thankfully they had a bathtub because Lee Know was in no state to keep standing.

- Minho-ah, do you want hyung to wash your hair?

- please...

All this cuteness and vulnerability just showed how awful he was feeling. Chan carefully washed his hair and hoped the bath would help reduce his fever.

- Thanks, hyung

- Don't mention it. I'll let you take your bath now but I'll stay here just in case.

Lee Know slowly washed himself, the water hitting his skin making him wince from how much it stung. What usually would be a means to relax, today was almost a torture session.

When he was done, he surprisingly asked Chan for help getting dressed, and so his hyung did. He was now clean, wearing comfortable clothes and completely drained of his batteries.

- Come on, let's get you to bed. Do you feel like you're vomit again?

- No...not now...I'm tired...

- I know, let's go.

Chan cooed, wrapping his arms around Lee Know and guiding him to his bedroom. Since Lee Know shared a bedroom with another member, Chan thought it would be better for the young boy to sleep in his bedroom. That way he could keep an eye on him, and Lee Know could be more comfortable since he didn't like to show this side to the others.

Lee Know lay down on his hyung's bed and was promptly covered with a blanket by him.

- I will get you an antiemetic first and see how you'll hold up, okay? You need to put something in your stomach, water, a sports drink, soup. I'll be right back.

The poor boy's fever was so high, it was tearing up his eyes, and his head was still throbbing. He just sunk into the pillow and closed his eyes to ease some of the pain until Chan came back.

- Minho-ah. Here take these and let's wait.

- Hyung...my head is still throbbing...

- I'll sim the lights for you. let's see if the antiemetics work, then you'll try to eat something so I can give you painkillers, okay?

- Yes...

Chan stayed with Lee Know in the bedroom and within a few minutes the medication seemed to have worked.

- Do you think you can stomach some soup? Or bread? It might help better than soup actually.

- Bread...

He answered weakly, eyes half open.

Chan came back with a few slices of bread and gave them to Lee Know, who hesitantly took it.

- Just a few bites okay?

The older boy helped Lee Know to sit up on the bed, he was wearing a black hoodie and was half-covered with a blanket. Lee Know was fairly muscular but to Chan, at that moment, he looked so tiny.

He sat at the edge of the bed and stayed with Lee Know while the poor boy took small bites and slowly ate the slices.

- How do you feel? Nauseous?

- No...feels settled...for now.

- That's good.

Chan set the tray aside and placed his hand on Lee Know's forehead.

- It's still high. Let me check it.

The thermometer showed almost the same temperature from earlier, 38.5°C.

- it's still pretty high. Do you think you can stomach some pills?

- Yes...

- Take them with a sports drink, that way you won't feel the taste.

Chan quickly left and came back with the medication and the drinks. Lee Know took them and gagged but managed to swallow it. They waited a few seconds to see if he'd vomit but it didn't happen.

Lee Know was falling asleep even while sitting, so Chan carefully laid him down on the bed, placed an ice pack on his forehead, and covered him before leaving the room to eat something and get a mattress.

Then he was met with the rest of the kids who had just returned home.

- Hyung! How's Lee Know-hyung?

- He threw up again but after taking some medication, he managed to eat something. He was pretty tired so he's asleep now. He'll stay in my room for the time being, okay?

- Okay hyung.

- Let's just keep quiet. I don't want to wake him up.

They all had dinner, took a shower, and then went to do their own stuff but before telling Chan to tell Lee Know they wished he gets better soon.

Chan entered the bedroom and found Lee Know still asleep, his breathing was a bit off but it was due to the fever. He hoped the sick boy would sleep well through the night, but those prayers were not heard.

Chan checked on Lee Know one more time before going to bed himself but was woken up after 1h or so.

Lee Know was sleeping rather peacefully when his stomach decided to remind him he was going through a food poisoning process.

It started churning again, in complete turmoil making Lee Know toss and turn on the bed but no position was comfortable enough. He lay on his back and squeezed his hands in an attempt to control the urge to vomit.

It didn't work, he turned to his side and that must've been the worst decision he made that day. As soon as he turned his stomach jumped shooting up its contents way too fast, Lee Know rushed out of the room, hand covering his mouth so he wouldn't make a mess on the floor, that would be too humiliating.

He got to the bathroom, hurriedly closing the door behind him and bending over the toilet as a stream of bread mixed with stomach juice gushed out, immediately followed by another bout.

The motion of getting up so quickly and being bent over made him feel really dizzy, so before he could actually fall, he managed to sit down next to the toilet. His stomach was cramping badly, sending queasy burps repeatedly but not actually making him vomit, even though he felt like there were still things to come out.

He was starting to feel even more miserable than before, and he was sure his fever spiked again, even his clothes were hurting his skin.

He sat for a few seconds on the floor not sure of what to do, then he noticed his phone inside his hoodie pocket.

- Hyung. Can you come to the bathroom? Just need to know you're here.

Chan was already half awake when he got the message.

- Be right there.

He got up and made his way to the bathroom, but he didn't go in. He respected Lee Know's request of just being close, if the sick boy needed him inside with him, he'd say.

He sat by the door and gently ordered one of the members who had woken up to use the other bathroom, wanting to secure Lee Know's privacy as much as he could.

Chan kept hearing Lee Know retching over the toilet but never heard anything splashing in the water and he thought that maybe Lee Know had nothing else in his stomach.

But a few minutes later, he got another message.

- Hyung...come in, please...

Chan got up and politely knocked on the door, letting Lee Know know he was coming in.

Chan's heart dropped to his stomach when he saw Lee Know's state. His face was bright red from the fever that was obviously higher than before, he was sitting next to the toilet holding his stomach and with a pained expression on his face.

The leader locked the door behind him and walked up to Lee Know, grabbing his hand and feeling the heat of his skin.

- Minho-ah...

- hyung...it hurts...

Lee Know said, tears swelling up in his eyes. Chan immediately pulled him into an embrace, allowing him to break down if he needed to. It was a rare occurrence to see Lee Know cry, so whenever he needed to, Chan was always there to provide him the safe space he so much needed.

Lee Know broke down into sobs from frustration, pain, and embarrassment. Chan tightened his grip around him, gently rocking him from side to side, rubbing his back.

- It's okay. Hyung's got you.

When Lee Know finally calmed down, he kept looking down, still embarrassed by everything that was happening.

- hyung...I've been trying...but nothing's coming up...and it hurts so bad...

- Do you want hyung to help you?

- hmm.

Lee Know nodded shyly, hating to admit he was desperate for a comforting touch.

He leaned over the toilet, his stomach still cramping but only making him dry-heave and nothing came up.

Chan was by his side and rested his hand on Lee Know's abdomen and it felt heavenly for the sick boy. Because of his scar, Lee Know wasn't too comfortable with people touching his abdomen, but right now he really needed that.

- Can I press on it a bit? I think it'll help bring something up.

- please...

Lee Know pleaded, clearly done with how awful he felt, he was accepting every and any help.

Chan first started rubbing circles to soothe some of the pain and gently pressed the middle, earning a wince from Lee Know.

- I'm sorry...but it'll be over soon.

The motion seemed to be working as Lee Know started burping wetly and for a while, gagging unproductively.

Chan proceeded to press on his stomach until Lee Know retched wetly and a thick stream of putrid pale brown liquid hit the toilet water with a sickening sound, followed by another harsher one, leaving Lee Know breathless.

He coughed a few times because something got stuck in his throat, and Chan changed his approach to run his chest again as well as his back providing some comfort in the middle of the ordeal.

Another wet cough brought up small chunks of food mixing with the mess inside the bowl.

Lee Know scooted away from the toilet for a while, allowing Chan to flush it and get rid of the unsettling sight. He grabbed a few napkins to clean Lee Know's mouth and pulled the poor sick boy into his embrace so he could try to relax for a bit.

- I'm sorry hyung...

- You don't need to apologize.

- But I took over your room and now I can't even let you sleep...

- It's not your fault, Minho-yah. You had no idea you'd get food poisoning.

- What about the others?

- I made sure they'd stay away from the bathroom and my room, at least for now. I know you don't like much attention when you're sick.

- Thanks...I feel dizzy...

- It's because of the fever. Let me check your temperature again.

Chan took the thermometer from the cabinet and put it under Lee Know's arm.

- 39.1°C. It spiked.

It was obvious his fever got higher, he was looking red as a tomato, even his breathing felt hot, and despite wearing sweatpants and a hoodie he couldn't stop shivering.

- Minho-yah. Do you wanna take another shower? Or do you think you can stomach a fever reducer? If we don't get your temperature down, we'll have to go to the hospital.

As if on cue, Lee Know's stomach shot up what felt like it was the last of its contents barely giving him time to reach the toilet bowl, thankfully Chan helped him, otherwise he'd soil his clothes. The older boy gave him a glass of water so he could rinse his mouth and helped him brush his teeth.

- Thanks hyung...

- So, what do you wanna do?

- I don't wanna take another shower...my skin hurts every time something touches me.

- Then we'll try the pill again. Let's go back to the bedroom.

Chan offered a hand but Lee Know was far too exhausted to get up on his own, let alone walk.

- Come here, hyung will help you.

He put his arms under Lee Know's and carefully helped him to his feet but his legs almost instantly gave up on him.

- I'll carry you, okay?

- hmm.

Lee Know was in no state to protest, and honestly, he didn't want to. His hyung's presence and touch helped him more than Chan could imagine.

Chan hugged Lee Know and gently lifted him, one arm around his waist and the other around his legs. The image of a father carrying a son, that's how one would describe it.

He walked slowly to the bedroom, being extremely careful to not upset Lee Know's stomach, which seemed to have calmed down for a while.

He settled Lee Know on the bed and looked for a clean shirt and hoodie.

- Let's get you changed up. You sweat too much, your clothes are soaked.

Chan helped Lee know out of his hoodie and shirt and before putting on the clean ones, he wiped Lee Know's upper body, then helped him put on the new set.

- Can we take the medication now?

- Hmm

- Here, take one antiemetic and wait for a bit. Then take the fever reducer and another antiemetic.

Lee Know hesitantly took the pills from Chan's hand and contemplated for a bit, clearly afraid of vomiting again. He didn't want that, his whole body hurt because of the strain and the fever, and his throat was hurting as well, to the point his voice was raspy.

- Trust hyung, okay? You can keep it down, I know you can.

Chan reassured grabbing Lee Know's hand and started rubbing circular patterns.

Just like before, the first sip of water with the pill made him gag, but he managed to take everything.

Both he and Chan stayed sitting on the bed, waiting until Lee Know felt safe enough to lie down.

- How are you feeling? Still nauseous?

- just a bit...

- Do you wanna lay down?

- Yeah.

He lay down and Chan covered him, then lay down on the mattress next to the bed.

- Hyung...

He heard a soft whiny voice coming from above, it was Lee Know standing out his hand, after moving to the edge of the bed.

- What is it?

- Can you hold my hand?

- Of course.

Chan grabbed Lee Know's hand and just held it until he fell asleep. But he didn't let go, he knew Lee Know needed that, so he found a way of sleeping while holding his hand.

Thankfully, the medication seemed to have worked, at least for the night, because Lee Know slept until morning without any other incidents during the night.

When Chan woke up the first thing he did was check Lee Know's temperature.

- 38°C. It went down a bit, thank god.

He said quietly. Since Lee Know was in deep sleep, Chan quietly left the room to get breakfast and see the other kids.

- Good morning, hyung.

- Good morning kinds.

- How's Lee Know-hyung?

- He's still asleep. He managed to keep a few pills down yesterday, so his fever went down a bit, but it's still high.

- And you, hyung? How are you doing?

- I'm okay. He's got food poisoning, so I think we are all in the clear.

- Aren't you tired? We know you. We know you didn't get enough sleep.

- I'm doing good, kids. Don't worry about me. My concern now is getting Lee Know better.

Chan said walking to the kitchen to prepare something for him and a soup or some toast for Lee Know.

When he got back to the bedroom he found Lee Know sitting on the bed but still covered with the blanket, eyes puffy and face still red.

- Good morning.

- Good morning hyung...

Lee Know answered, voice raspy and weak, signs of a rough night.

- How are you feeling?

- Tired...

- And your stomach?

- A little nauseous but not that much...and a bit hungry.

- I made you some food. Wanna give it a try? There's soup and some toast.

- Can I try both?

- Sure, but don't force it. Take as long as you need. Want me to turn on the TV?

- Yeah.

Just like the previous night, Chan stayed in the bedroom with Lee Know as the boy slowly ate his meal. He then took the medications again and sunk into the bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

Chan left the room one more time and was met with six kids demanding him to rest. They knew Chan always took care of them, no matter what and he wouldn't say anything even if he was too tired.

- Hyung. You need to rest as well. We'll take turns.

- Thanks kids.

Chan said opening his arms to give all of them a big hug.

With that settled, Jisung was the first one to stay with Lee Know, the sick boy accepted cuddles from him and they helped him stay calm and asleep.

And just like they said, everyone took turns to stay with Lee Know and help him whenever he got sick the following days. They were some tiring 5 days for all of them, with Lee Know vomiting a few times during the day and night and his fever refusing to go lower than 37.5°C.

When the ordeal was over, they were all tired but relieved to see their dancer back to full health. Lee Know being one to not show his weak side to many, had to let go of his pride in order to get better, and deep inside he was grateful to all of them, especially his only hyung.

136 notes · View notes

cuddlepilefics · 4 months ago

Text

I don’t mean to get emotional

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Chan

Caregivers: Stray Kids

Prompts: Fear / Breaking point / “I can’t stop crying, I’m sorry—”

@whumperless-whump-event

No one’s POV.:

“Hyung, are you sure, you don’t wanna lay down? Just a quick power-nap or something”, Changbin asked softly, resting his hand between Chan’s shoulder blades. The Aussie had been nursing a headache for over a week now and was getting increasingly rundown, yet that didn’t stop him from spending the night at the studio. 3racha had been at it for hours and Chan’s eyes already watered from the bright screen, so his dongsaengs did their best to convince him to take a break. Resting his chin on his hand, Chan hummed: “Not gonna sleep.” – “We know, hyung”, Jisung sighed, “Your eyes look really irritated though, so why don’t you let us take over?” – “Yeah, hyung. You can still add your ideas from the couch with your eyes closed. We’ll note them down. Come on”, Changbin encouraged, helping the older up. Chan didn’t put up much of a fight when he was manhandled onto the small couch at the back of the studio but while Jisung already moved in front of the laptop, Changbin couldn’t help but notice how warm their leader felt.

A relieved sigh left Chan’s lips as he relaxed into the cushions. He hadn’t realized just how tense he had been until he was able to lay down. That didn’t mean that just because he was horizontal now, he’d stop working. Oh no, most definitely not. Chan still had a lot to add to their tracks but eventually allowed his eyes to close, when Jisung played the changes he proposed over the speakers to try them out. After a while, Changbin noted that Chan had been quiet for a bit and asked softly: “I think if we change the last syllable, it’ll rhyme better. What do you think, Chan-hyung?” Both, him and Jisung looked at the eldest intently, but he didn’t even stir. “Finally asleep?”, Jisung breathed hopefully and watched how Changbin scooted closer to their leader. Lightly brushing the back of his hand against Chan’s forehead, Changbin frowned and moved it to the other’s cheek before humming: “Hyung has a fever. No wonder he’s been so rundown. With how long he’s had a headache, I wouldn’t be surprised if he already had that temperature a few days ago.”

Wanting Chan to get as much sleep as possible, Changbin carefully tugged the Aussie’s beanie down over his eyes, so the light wouldn’t bother him. Jisung had already put on headphones by the time Changbin rejoined him at the desk and the two continued working in silence, trying their best to not wake their hyung. With their headphones on, they didn’t hear the soft groans coming from Chan as he slept but even if they had, they probably wouldn’t have thought much of it. The older often sounded distressed in his sleep when apparently everything was fine, so they had learned not to wake him. Only when Jisung caught a movement from the corner of his eye, did he turn around to study the other. Realizing that Chan was shivering, the younger adjusted the air-conditioning and dug a thin blanket out from one of the bottom drawers. That was the benefit of having their own studio and having spent many nights there. They were well equipped and Jisung had an easier time focusing after making sure his hyung was tucked in warmly.

They had been working in this track for ages and felt like it finally was their time to present it. JYP had them come in for their evaluations, which happened more frequently now that they had entered the survival show. Chan didn’t hate the evaluations like one might think. After so many years, he had finally gotten the chance to pick members for the show and to lead them through it. Though he worried about the results of their evaluations every time, he saw them as a chance to prove himself. Today, 3racha would be evaluated as a sub-unit of Stray Kids and Chan really felt like they were in their element. This was his group, they were performing his song.

JYP remaining stoic throughout their performance was no surprise. He usually did that for suspense and maybe also to see if they’d waver or remain confident. What was not all that usual was JYP asking them to go a second time. “Try it again without Chan?” The Aussie felt his heart sink and he could barely breathe when Changbin and Jisung performed the track a second time, though this time as a duo. This couldn’t be true. Not again. He could not be removed from another group he had been training with. The group he himself had assembled. JYP really thought Chan’s song sounded better without him in it?! That thought made the Aussie feel sick to his stomach and it was like someone had pulled the rug from under his feet. He felt himself falling…

“Hyung?”, Changbin asked for a second time after Chan had shot upright. With a trembling hand, the older pushed his beanie back up and was finally able to see again although his heart still raced. Spinning his chair around, Jisung too pulled off his headphones and watched in stunned silence as the Aussie burst into tears. Changbin hesitantly got up and took a seat on the couch next to Chan, opening his arms to silently offer a hug without forcing himself on the older. When Chan slowly leant against him, Changbin whispered: “Did you have a nightmare?” Still trying to get his bearings and assure himself of where he was, it took a moment for Chan to nod. Jisung picked up the Aussie’s water bottle and offered him a drink.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”, Changbin hummed, handing Chan a tissue. For some reason, the older has a hard time calming down, despite realizing that it had only been a dream. Drawing a shaky breath, the Aussie tried to pull himself together but failed when his chest immediately hitched again. “I can’t stop crying, I’m sorry-”, Chan choked out, rubbing at his eyes. Tracing his back, Changbin promised: “It’s okay to get emotional from time to time. Especially with the fever you’re sporting.” – “Fever?”, the leader sniffled pathetically. Changbin and Jisung looked at him in disbelief, Jisung muttering: “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.” – “Uhm”, the Aussie mumbled, running one hand under his nose, “I- I actually didn’t? Makes sense in hindsight though.” – “Mhm, it surely does”, Changbin sighed, motioning for Jisung to save their work and pack up, “Let’s get you home, yeah?”

When they got back to their dorm, they expected Hyunjin to have gone to bed already but him and Felix were still watching dramas in the living room. “You’re home!”, Hyunjin exclaimed, Felix’ face lighting up instantly when he spotted his hyungs. The dancer’s smile quickly faltered though when he caught a glance at Chan’s face. The leader’s eyes were still a little puffy from crying and held a sickly gloss, which combined with the flush on his cheeks easily gave away his fever. Getting up from the couch, Felix frowned: “You don’t look so good, Chan-hyung.” The eldest hummed in confirmation and rested his head on Felix’ shoulder when the younger pulled him into a hug. “And you’re overly warm”, the dancer added, reaching up to cup Chan’s cheek.

Changbin already set about warming up a late dinner for Chan, so they could fetch him some painkillers for his headache, while Jisung explained: “Someone needs to learn how to read his body’s signals, right, hyung?” Chan grumbled something, which came out muffled by Felix’ shoulder but when the younger pulled away, he saw the unshed tears in the leader’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”, Felix whispered but Chan only shook his head, breathing: “I don’t mean to get emotional.” – “It’s okay. Nothing to be ashamed of”, the younger assured, tightening his hug. He glanced towards the kitchen to figure out what Changbin was doing, when the rapper already returned, humming: “You should have a bite, hyung. I’ll go and fetch you some medicine.” – “Thanks, Bin. Not really hungry but I’m tired of this headache”, Chan whispered to keep his voice from cracking.

Chan plopped down on the couch and drew his legs closer to try and ease the chills as he hesitantly lifted a bite to his lips. Hyunjin and Felix sat down in either side of him and kept him company, smiling a little when Changbin placed two pills and a glass of water on the coffee table. Hyunjin traced Chan’s back while he ate and the leader barely knew how to handle the affection. He felt flustered, especially with the amount of eyes on him, but he was to tired to do anything about it. Secretly, he hoped Felix would stay for a sleepover and cuddles, though he knew it would be unwise to risk the dancer getting sick too.

With the encouragement of his friends, Chan found the energy to take a shower before bed and was glad he had. The warm water soothed the deep ache in his muscles and seemed to release some pent up emotions, the leader hadn’t even been aware of. At least, he would have to feel the tears on his face with the water running over his skin, washing them away immediately. Nobody would see him overwhelmed by his emotions now, which Chan couldn’t be more glad about but that didn’t mean that his nose didn’t get incredibly stuffed up from all the crying. To his relief, nobody pointed it out and perhaps, his dongsaengs just assumed it to be one more sign of his illness. At least, the Aussie hoped so.

“Hey, are you feeling up for cuddles or would you like some space?”, Felix hummed when Chan sleepily shuffled out of the bathroom. He knew his hyung tended to get vivid nightmares whenever he ran a temperature and Changbin and Jisung had confirmed that once again while the leader was in the shower, so Felix couldn’t bear the thought of his Aussie brother experiencing the fear all by himself.Though he felt a little guilty about it, Chan mumbled hesitantly: “I think, I’d really like cuddles, actually.” – “How about you get ready for bed and I’ll be there in a minute”, Felix smiled kindly, squeezing Chan’s shoulder before walking off, “You guys don’t mind me borrowing some sleep clothes, right?” – “Have we ever?”, came Changbin’ and Jisung’s muffled reply and the younger giggled at their sync.

Laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, Chan contemplated going back on his request. He really didn’t want Felix to feel this wrecked but before he could dwell on it more, he felt the bed dip next to him and only a moment later, his favorite koala was pressed against his side. The dancer had noticed how irritated and puffy Chan’s eyes looked and had fetched a cold washcloth. “Close your eyes, hyung”, Felix whispered, gently draping the cloth over his hyung’s eyes. He smiled when the tension on the lower half of the leader’s face melted away, his jaw no longer clenched. When Felix ran his fingers through Chan’s damp curls, the older was already asleep.

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