#Stop listening to the virus! protect yourself from the virus instead!

[thatonebirdwrites]

Best way to put it.

How the fuck can there be anti vaccine “witches?” If you disagree with binding an invisible malignant entity into a single drop of potion that seals a subject’s blood against the full force of that very same entity’s curse then you are not and can never be a witch you’re just a karen who buys rocks

[bloatedandalone04]

Good as Gold

➪the one where leon fell in love with you from the second he saw you.

Warnings: angst, fluff, indications of smut, leon pining over you, jealous leon, mentions of injuries, mentions of blood, blood, descriptions of blood + injuries, you all really need to stop with those foul leon fics, i am so serious, he deserves some fluff once in a while, damn

Word Count: 5.5k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The first time Leon saw you, he knew he wanted to do everything in his power to protect you, despite you being a very good agent and more than capable of protecting yourself. 

Still, he knew he wanted to be around you all the time, and he was quite certain he was in love with you after the first conversation the two of you had. 

When you and he were assigned as partners for this mission where he and you had to act like a couple, he was borderline thrilled, then he realized he would be spending most of his time looking out for you instead of actually getting the information he needed from the doctors. 

It was an attempt at stopping a virus before it got out, and Leon had to go full camouflage for this one. He cut his hair short and hated it immediately, but the look you gave him once you saw it for the first time had him appreciating it a bit more. 

He had to wear a suit that night, and even he thought he looked quite nice, but nowhere near as good as you looked. You were given a dark blue dress with a slit in the side, and he was obsessed with it from the minute he saw it. 

Then you hooked your arm in his and stayed glued to his side the whole night as you both listened to the drunk doctors spill all the information on the virus, and the recorder in Leon’s suit pocket caught everything. 

When you two got back to the hotel you were staying at for just one night, you fell asleep with your head on Leon’s chest, still wearing that sinful dress he wanted to take off you. Neither of you planned for that mission very well, even forgetting to pack extra clothes, so you both had to sleep in your formal attire. Leon took off his jacket and put it over you while you slept, and he spent his night trying to figure out how to face you the next morning after finding out how well your body fit against his own. 

He didn’t mean to, really. They had given him a room with only one bed, and neither of you wanted the other to sleep on the uncomfortable couch in the corner. 

You talked about everything and nothing at all, and Leon was so close to saying those three words to you, but decided it wasn’t the best time. 

Oh, how he regretted that one. 

Another mission you were given together had the addition of Chris, and that annoyed Leon since he knew the Redfield brother had a thing for you, too. It was annoying because Leon didn’t just have a thing for you, he was in love with you, and had been for a year at that point. 

The mission was going well, but Leon had to continuously watch Chris flirt with you, and you did nothing about it since you had no idea about the way Leon felt about you. He was extremely good at hiding it, though he did try to show it in subtle ways; like keeping you behind him at all times whenever you were near something potentially dangerous, or how he loosely laced his fingers with yours under the table as you and he debriefed from missions, how he always let you come to him whenever the weight of the job felt like it was too much for you to handle. 

He did all of it for you, and he wished he was man enough to do more.

Because now he watched as Chris brushed your messy hair behind your ear as you caught your breath from the ten minute sprint you all just did to escape the infected villagers in the tunnels. 

Leon reloaded his gun as he took off in a random direction, muttering something to you about staying with Chris as he went to search for more ammo and weapons. 

Maybe it was petty, and maybe he was acting like a child, but he couldn’t help it.

He regretted it, though, because as soon as he got back to you and Chris, the villagers had found their way to the three of you, and they weren’t letting up this time. 

Leon’s ears were ringing as three different guns fired in opposite directions, and when he turned to check on you after hearing your quiet cry, his beloved gun almost slipped from his fingers as he saw the pitchfork that was embedded in your abdomen. 

He watched as Chris shot both the pitchfork wielder as well as another villager that was coming for you in your weakened state. He watched as you pulled the pitchfork out of you and feebly tossed it aside, and he watched as your body betrayed itself and began to sink to the ground. 

Before you could reach it, Leon finally snapped out of it and nearly got impaled himself as he ran over to you. He heard the sound of Chris shooting the man who tried giving Leon the same fate as you as he caught your body and lowered both himself and you to the ground.  

Blood formed on three places on your shirt, and Leon pressed his whole hand and forearm down against them without thinking twice. Your cry of pain had him wincing as he looked over at your pale face, and he felt his heart rate spike as he saw the blood that began pooling in your mouth. “Hey,” he said quietly as Chris single-handedly took out the last four guys before he was crouching on the other side of you. “Keep your eyes open for me.”

You give him a pointed look, even in your current state, as you mumble, “I’m trying to,”

“I know,” he muttered as he looked over at Chris, panic poorly hidden on both their faces. “What do we do? We can’t leave her. We need to get her out of here, she needs-”

“I know, Leon,” Chris cut him off, and Leon was sure the brunet was surprised at how quickly Leon had lost all control the second you had gotten hurt. “You need to get her out of here. Find the surface as fast as you can, and don’t look back for anything.” 

Chris tried to take control of the situation as best as he could, but Leon was barely listening as he looked back down at you and saw your emotionless face staring back up at him. A ghost of a smile was on your lips, but he knew you were fading quickly. “Hey,” he called again, much stricter this time, but you just blinked slowly. “Stay with me, okay? You’re not dying today. Not here.”

“Leon,” Chris said, reaching over and grabbing his shoulder. “You need to focus. Get her out of here, I’ll take care of the rest, you both need to get out of here. Now.”

Leon barely nodded as he picked you up and wrapped his arms around your middle and under your thighs. You cry again, and Leon doesn’t look back at Chris as he takes off in the direction you all came from. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, refusing to stop as he ran through the tunnel and towards where he hoped the surface was. 

He knew he was abandoning the mission, even though he was advised to never do that. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t just leave you to die, he wouldn’t. 

“Leon,” you whispered, and it had him moving even faster. “It’s okay, I’m fine. It doesn’t even hurt that much anymore.”

He knew you were going into shock, and he refused to see you reach the stage that came after that as he kicked open the gate and fled from the tunnels. “You’re okay,” he rasped as he ran through the small town and towards the Jeep. “You’re okay, baby.”

The name slipped out before he could stop it, but he didn’t care at this point, and neither did you as you smiled up at him. “I’ve always wanted to hear you call me that,” you confessed in a tired voice as he finally reached the car. “You’re my favorite person, Leon. I..”

Leon looked down and saw that your eyes were closed now, and he cursed as he opened the back door and gently set you down on the seats. He climbed in with you as he grabbed Chris’ jacket and wrapped it around your wound. He tied it pretty harshly around your middle in hopes to stop the blood, then felt around on your neck for your pulse. 

When he found it, he felt how faint it was and it sent him into a further panic as he got out of the back and into the driver’s seat. He knew Chris would be fine, and he also knew he couldn’t wait for him as he started the car and drove away from the town.

He’d have to send someone back for Chris, and then take the hit for being the one to abandon the mission. 

But if it meant saving you, he didn’t give a fuck about the repercussions. 

Leon got you back to salvation, but wasn’t allowed to be in the room with you as the nurses and doctors ripped your shirt after tearing off Chris’ jacket to see how bad your wound was. 

He was left in the hall as they worked on you, his arms and shirt covered in your blood. The sight was one he never wanted to see, and he knew he should go wash it off, but instead he stayed right there. 

This wasn’t a typical hospital, there were no waiting rooms, so he leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the hall to your room, and stayed there for God knows how long until a doctor finally came out and told him hours later that they had managed to stop the internal bleeding. But you had lost a lot of blood, and he was wearing most of it. 

He still wasn’t allowed to see you as they moved on to test you for any viruses, and he knew how long that could take. So he caved and went home to shower and wash off the red that covered him. 

Then he was right back in that hall after he changed into clean clothing. It was nearing a full twenty four hours since he carried you out of those tunnels, and he was beginning to go crazy. 

He needed to see you, needed to see for himself that you were okay and alive. He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to you when he was just a few feet away. 

The night nurse went in to check on you and accidentally woke Leon up from his spot on the floor. His back was against the wall as he looked up at her, and she gave him a wary smile. “I’m sorry, Agent Kennedy. I didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologized and he just waved her off. “I have to go report on her status, but she’s fine for now and will most likely recover within a few days.”

Leon perked up at that. “She’s going to be okay?”

“Yes,” the nurse nodded, then saw the look on his face and added, “That doesn’t mean you can sneak in there while I’m gone. I mean it, Kennedy. Her test results haven’t come back yet, she could be contagious with something.”

Leon nodded and watched as the nurse walked off before he promptly stood up and quietly opened the door to your room. He knew you didn’t have any viruses, he was with you the whole time, and he would’ve gotten it, too. 

After slowly closing the door behind him, Leon turned to look at you. His heart fell at the blank expression on your face, and the way your eyes didn’t move behind your closed eyelids. 

He had only ever seen you asleep a couple of times, one being back in that hotel room, another being when you had fallen asleep in the backseat of the Jeep as you waited for Chris to arrive so you could go on the mission, and both times you appeared to be dreaming. Your eyes never stopped moving behind closed lids, so to see them be so still now made him feel anxious. 

Without being able to stop himself, he walked over to you and stood next to the bed, his left hand finding yours on top of the covers. “Hey,” he mumbled as he extended his leg and pulled a nearby chair towards the bed without ever taking his eyes off you. His fingers tangle with yours as he sits down, and your warm skin against his had his heart calming down just a bit.

He looked over at your pretty face, the dirt and grime you’d collected from the tunnels now gone, and what replaced it was a few cuts here and there. Leon still thought you looked beautiful, and he wished he had told you that before this. He should’ve done so many things before this, but he was a coward when it came to you. 

But he wouldn’t be after you wake up. 

He would tell you that he loved you and how he needed you in his life. Because, after all, 

“You’re my favorite person, too,”

The same nurse from last night had found him with his head next to your hip on the bed, his hand still locked with yours, and she softly scolded him as she escorted him back out of the room and told him that he’d get to see you in a few days from now, and that you’d be awake by then.

That, along with the physical proof that you were okay, was what he needed to be able to talk through how the rest of the mission went with Chris. The eldest Redfield had successfully gathered up all the needed samples for the virus, as well as took out a large portion of those already infected with it before he caught a ride out of there and came to check on you.

Leon couldn’t even be annoyed at that since it was because of Chris that he was able to get you the help you needed in time. 

With no further updates on both you and the case, Leon was left to return back to his sad and empty apartment with the files Chris gave him to read over. It helped keep his mind off you for a bit, and when he was about halfway through the paperwork, he stopped to answer the door when someone knocked on it.

He opened it slowly, then swung it open when he saw that it was you who was on the other side. You look a lot better than you did the last time he saw you, and your small smile had his knees feeling a bit weak as you gazed at one another. “Hi,” you say quietly and Leon had to blink a few times to make sure this was real, and that he hadn’t fallen asleep at the table with the case files. 

“Hi,” he said back once he confirmed that he was awake and aware, and your smile grew a bit. 

“I heard you were the one who risked the whole mission to get me help after I stupidly got stabbed with a pitchfork,” you murmur and Leon wanted to take you into his arms at how you were still able to find humor in the very situation that had him nearly losing his mind. “Then I laughed and said that Leon Kennedy wouldn’t risk a mission for anything and how nothing else was that important to him. And then I realized that wasn’t true after I remembered how you carried me out of those tunnels and stayed with me until you couldn’t anymore.”

Leon stayed silent as he confirmed your words with a single nod. 

“Why did you do that?” You ask as you wrap one arm around your middle, and Leon wanted to pull you into his apartment and sit you down so you weren’t straining your wounds. “Why would you risk that?”

“You should sit down, Y/n,” he suggested instead of answering your question, but you just shook your head. 

“Why did you risk it?” You ask again. “You saved my life, but I’m not worth that risk, Leon.”

Leon shook his head as he stepped towards you. “You are worth that risk,” he couldn’t keep the way your words offended him out of his voice, and you picked up on it as you stayed still and asked, 

“Why did you risk it?” 

He knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with anything other than an honest answer, and he wasn’t going to go back on his words and lie to you about how he felt. Seeing you with your eyes closed and your body covered in blood almost made him lose his mind, and he couldn’t continue to live without telling you just how much you meant to him. 

“Because I love you,” he answered as if it was the most simplest question he’d ever been asked, and he supposed it was. “And I couldn’t live with myself if you had died on that mission and I didn’t.”

Your mouth closes as you take in his words, and when you begin to blink away tears, he continues,

“I know you can protect yourself, and I know you’re not defenseless, but I still want to be the one who protects you,” he took your hand in his, similar to the way he did back in your hospital room. “I want to be the one to take the hit for you, or the stab for you, or the bullet. You really think you’re not worth the risk? I’d risk it all for you all over again in a heartbeat. Without a second thought, I’d do it again.”

You bite down on your lip as you lace your fingers with his and allow him to pull you into his apartment. He guides you over to the couch, but before he could gesture for you to sit, you push him down instead and drape your thighs over his. “You love me?” You asked in a quiet tone as you hesitantly placed your hand on his shoulder. 

Leon nodded, giving you full control over everything right now and keeping his hands at his sides.

You force away a smile as you shyly ask, “Will you say it again?” and Leon wasn’t used to having you act so nervous and hesitant around him. Usually you were so confident and collected, but right now you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable with him, and he loved you even more for it. 

He didn’t think he could deny you anything right now, so he nodded in response to your question. “I love you,” he said again, then added with a barely-there smirk, “Baby.”

You give him a pretty smile and lean in to press your forehead against his as you guide his arms up to gently wrap around your middle. “I’ve always wanted to hear you call me that,” you repeated your words from earlier in the week, and Leon hummed as the tip of his nose hit yours. 

“I know,” he rasped. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you that I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the second I saw you.”

“Leon,” you murmur and gently run your fingers through his short hair. It still hadn’t fully grown out yet, but he didn’t mind it as you softly tug on the strands. “It doesn’t matter how long it took you. I would’ve waited forever, I think. Because I love you, too.”

He let out a sigh of relief he had no idea he was holding as he leaned in and brushed his lips against yours. “I nearly lost it when I carried you out of those tunnels,” he confessed. “I thought I’d lost my chance to tell you how I felt, and how beautiful I think you are.”

The words sounded foreign to him as he didn’t have a whole lot of time to put towards a relationship due to his job, but that didn’t make them any less true. 

And you knew this as you caressed the side of his face and traced his various freckles with your thumb. “Maybe soon you’ll be able to show me how you feel, too,” you teased and pressed yourself closer to him. “Thank you for saving my life, Leon. And thank you for finally telling me the words I’ve been wanting to hear from you for over a year now. I never let myself believe that you could ever feel that way about me.”

Leon was careful with your stomach area as he ran his hands up your back and gently gripped the back of your neck. He kissed you deeply and felt his heart skip a beat at the quiet moan you released, and he knew it would be the best kiss he’s ever shared with someone. Because it was you.  “Believe it,” he mumbled. “Because I’ve been yours since day one.”

[pochipop]

＃OVERWATCH !! ♡ — EVEN WHEN I DOUBT YOU (PHARAH (FAREEHA) X READER).

#. synopsis! — fareeha gets called to action, but you really can't handle seeing her go tonight .

#. characters! — pharah .

#. warnings! — explicit representations of a verbal argument .

#. word count! — 2.7k.

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw), @hhoneypop (moodboards) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

#. a/n! — break from uni yippee, happy holidays!! big crush on pharah rn, really need her to kiss me ngl .

She’s leaving again. You’ve hardly seen her these past few months as she’s been called to arms over and over and over, and you’re teetering on the edge of decay. It’s like a shot to the heart each time she goes away again, long nights of losing sleep and biting your nails down to the quick, worrying and wondering about whether you’ll ever see her face once more. And even when you do, the thought of her inevitably having to go and fight and struggle to stay alive seeps its way into your thoughts like a virus, corrupting all the happiness and bliss you should feel in your girlfriend’s embrace.

Fareeha isn’t the born soldier everyone (including herself, at some points)makes her out to be. She wasn’t brought onto this Earth to save lives and protect others, even at the expense of her own safety (and your sanity.) It’s the life she chose against her mother’s wishes, against all the warnings she received, and all the pushes she was given to use her talents in other places. Sometimes, you can’t help but wish she would have listened to their advice. Maybe then you wouldn’t be pacing back and forth in the bedroom of the quaint apartment you share with her, —though most wouldn’t know it. It’s filled with your belongings, and it’s home to you. . . But Fareeha’s things go to Overwatch HQ, and they seldom return, left to rot in her locker until she inevitably throws them away.

The bed doesn’t smell like her anymore, and what few clothes remain in the closet hang untouched in the closet like they’re preparing to be sold and not worn. You hear her sigh deeply through the crack in the door, light spilling in from the hallway that leads directly into the living room. There, Fareeha shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her phone pressed to her ear. She hasn’t officially told you that she’s leaving soon, —but you knew the moment her phone rang and she stopped kissing you to roll over and take it that it wouldn’t be long.

Tears prick at your eyes. She’d only gotten back a few days ago, —days that she spent working on reports, instead of falling into the arms of her lover; and now they were taking her away again. It’s times like this when you kick yourself the most for falling for someone like her. Sure, she made it easy enough, with her pretty face and charming wit, and all the times she disappeared just to come back and kiss it better. . . But the pattern was stale now. Your heart was wearing thin.

So the moment she stepped back into the bedroom with an apologetic look on her face, opening her mouth to say what she always does; ‘I’m sorry, angel, I know it’s sudden, but duty calls,’ you quiver a little and shake your head, causing her to clam up entirely.

“That’s it then?” You question after taking a few seconds to collect yourself and swallow the sob threatening to work its way up your throat. “You’re leaving again? And what I think, what I say, what I feel. . . None of that matters?”

Fareeha looks stunned. It’s not like you to break down like this at all. For as long as she’s known you, she’s found that you’ve been stronger about her leaving than she is. But there is something distinctly different about this moment, and you know she can feel the way it weighs heavily enough to suffocate you both.

“Of course it matters,” she replies. “You matter. But this isn’t just about you, or me. . . You have to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around us. There are much bigger things at stake.”

“You promised,” you choke out pathetically. “You promised it wouldn’t be like this when you came back.”

“I know, I know,” Fareeha sighs deeply.

You can tell this is having just as much of an impact on her, but that she’s doing a better job of hiding it this time around.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But I have to go. . . You understand that, right?”

“No,” you shake your head defiantly. “I don’t understand. Not anymore.”

“Baby, please,” she steps a little closer, cupping your cheek in the palm of her hand, “don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

You brush her hand away a bit callously, but the last thing you want is to be touched by her right now. Ten minutes ago, before the call, before she stumbled out of the bedroom to take it, before the world came crashing down again; it was all you wanted. . . But now, her fingers felt like burning coals against your skin.

“It has to be as hard as I’m making it,” you answer. “All the things I’ve sacrificed to be with you, —leaving so much of my old life behind, making changes just to suit your needs, all the shit I’ve forfeited and missed out on to move here and be with you, to get left behind everytime Overwatch wants something from you. I’ve supported every decision you’ve made for yourself, every alteration we’ve had to make together, but I’m tired. I feel worthless to you.”

Maybe it isn’t exactly the right time to rattle all of that off, but God, it was bound to happen at some point with how much you’d been bottling up. Especially after these last few months, caught up in this endless cycle of hurt and misfortune.

“You are not worthless to me,” Fareeha states firmly. “Not at all.”

And you believe her. You know she loves you, and that she does the best she can on any given day, but this downtrodden adrenaline rush has your heart pin pricked, and all you want to do is curl up somewhere and waste away until she comes back home again. If she comes back home again.

“Then don’t go,” you utter, and it sounds almost like a whimper. “Please, Fareeha.”

“Y/n. . .”

Your heart sinks lower. She seldom says your name, and never in that tone unless she knows she’s about to disappoint you.

“Please,” you repeat, a little stronger this time.

“You know what kind of life I live,” she says. “Sometimes, the work I do requires me to leave, and go, and be alone for a while, —and it’s not because I want to. It’s because this is what I have to do. It’s what I’ve been trained for. And I’m sorry that I can’t just sit around and wait for you to be okay with that. I really am. But please don’t take this personally. It’s just something I have to do.”

“It’s been three days,” you say. “You haven’t even been back for a week yet, and they want to ship you off somewhere else?”

“They don’t control when or where disaster strikes,” she reminds you.

“No, they don’t but they sure as hell control who gets called to go fix it,” you argue. “They have a roster full of soldiers, and they can’t give you a week to yourself? A week to be home with the people you love?”

“You’re frustrated, and I understand why. It frustrates me too, believe me. . . But I’m good at what I do, y/n,” she says in earnest.

“I know that,” you answer. “The world knows that. But I can’t keep doing this with you, Fareeha.”

Her face falls. It’s hard to see her look so dejected when you’re used to the bright way she smiles, but what you said was nothing short of the truth. This has been eating you alive for so long, and these last few months have been a dangerous tipping point. Being stuck at home while she fights on the frontlines of every battle they can’t seem to win without her has left you riddled with anxiety, a constant reminder that your lover is unsafe and might not even make it back to you in one piece. It lives in your bones like it’s stuffed into the marrow.

“Please don’t say that,” she says in a voice just above a whisper.

“I can’t do it,” you shake your head, looking anywhere but her eyes as tears begin to trickle down your cheeks. “You leave, and I worry so much that it consumes me. Then you come back, and I feel like I can breathe again, but it’s so shortlived that it might as well not have even happened in the first place. They can’t even wait for your bruises to disappear before they put you out there again.”

“I’m fine, baby,” she urges. “Look at me? Aren’t I perfectly okay?”

She gestures to her strong body as if that’s supposed to make her point for her.

“No,” you shake your head. “You’re not. Do you really think I can’t tell that you’re tired? That you’re exhausted?”

“Of course I am,” Fareeha relents, “but that’s just the way life goes sometimes. I’m a soldier. This is what I am. It’s what I have to do, —it’s all I know.”

You want to offer a rebuttal, but your voice dies in the back of your throat. It’s not that you want to deny her the thing she’s worked at for so long. . . It’s just that this isn’t good for anyone. Not for you and your fragile feelings, and especially not for her. Not when you could feel the weariness in every move she’s made since coming back, and certainly not when they’d promised her a break weeks in advance, only to call her back the very second something went wrong.

“I just need some time to focus on this mission,” she continues. “I’ll make this up to you. I promise.”

“You promised last time too,” you remind her bluntly. “And the time before that.”

“I know,” Fareeha admits. “And I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to keep them. But this time, I’ll make sure things are different. Just let me do what needs to be done, and when I get back, I’ll do everything in my power to make this right. You can have me all to yourself. Please. . . Stay.”

“You stay. If you leave tonight, I won’t sleep, I won’t be able to think straight until you’re home again, I. . . Not tonight. Please, just this one time Fareeha, don’t let them run you into ruins. Put yourself first.” 

“I’m sorry,” she shakes her head, “but I just don’t have that kind of luxury. If I don’t go tonight, I’ll never be able to forgive myself if something goes wrong out there.”

“And what if something happens to you?”

“It won’t,” she insists. “Don’t I always come back to you? Aren’t I always okay?” She questions. 

“Up until this point, sure,” you acknowledge. “But all it takes is one time. One thing going wrong. One missed step because you’re overworked and tired. That’s all it takes for me to lose you, and that terrifies me.”

“Have some faith in my abilities, would you please? I’ve trained for almost my entire life to fill the shoes I do now, —to be a soldier that everyone can rely on! This is what my life’s efforts have been for!” She exclaims.

“And you’ve already done enough for your lifetime and a few hundred others,” you answer. “I’m proud of you, Fareeha. I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished, of everything you’ve achieved, —but I’m asking you, for once in your life, to think about something other than your job. If you can’t be bothered to put yourself first, then think about everything you’d be leaving behind. . . Your family, your friends. . . Me. . .”

“My work is important,” she says firmly. “It’s part of who I am. This isn’t up for discussion or debate.”

“I’m not asking you to give it up, I’m asking you to take a break,” you reply. “If you want to be a soldier until they force you from the frontlines, then so be it. But right now, I’m fucking begging you to not leave here tonight.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Fareeha insists. “You know that. . . But please don’t do this.”

That sob you forced down before works its way back up.

“Please,” she repeats, “you’ve always known. . .”

She doesn’t finish that sentence, but you know what she’s implying: that you’ve always known what you were getting into. And that’s true. But more than that, you also know she’s been working herself to the bone, and she’s in no condition to be fighting for anyone else at this point.

You lean in to kiss her, even against your better judgement.

“Stay safe, Pharah,” you mumble against her lips.

“Don’t call me that,” she shakes her head, her hands finding their way to your cheeks again. “Not now.”

“I’ll call you what you are to me,” you answer softly. “A soldier.”

“Don’t,” she chokes out. “I’m your girlfriend. Don’t say that to me.”

“Then listen to me, as someone you love, —as someone you know loves you, and don’t go tonight. Stay here. Let me take care of you,” you plead with her.

“I can’t do that,” she whispers. “I have a duty—”

You cut her off without thinking.

“It’s not always your responsibility to fix all the things that go wrong in the world!” You shout. 

She stops to stare at you in something that looks like a mixture of horror and desperate realization. . . Like no one has ever said anything like that to her before.

“Please,” you plead with her, voice softening. “Please, Fareeha. Let someone else take the burden for once. You don’t have to shoulder all the weight in the world every single time someone needs something.”

She searches your eyes with her own, —beautiful and dark brown, but simmering with conflict. The struggle between what she feels is right for her to do as a soldier and the desire to follow your wishes is palpable, even as the room is shrouded in conflict, both spoken and unspoken alike.

“I love you,” you continue, voice lowering again, barely above a whisper now. “I can’t bear the thought of something happening to you. You deserve to rest and to let someone else handle things, just this once.”

For a moment, you can see it in her eyes that she wants to give in, and you feel a surge of newfound hope at the idea that your words might have finally reached the logician inside her. But then she shakes her head and averts her gaze to the floor.

“I wish things were that simple,” she replies. “I wish that I could stay here and hold you. . . But I can’t ignore my responsibilities. People depend on me.” 

You understand the depth of her commitment. It’s admirable, even. But you also know that she really shouldn’t be pushing her own limits under these circumstances.

“I depend on you too, Fareeha.”

“That’s. . . That’s different,” she says, clearly torn.

“You have a duty to yourself and to us,” you add. “Not just to the battlefield. Please, let this fall to someone else tonight. They can deal with it without you, just this one time.”

She hesitates visibly, a battle of emotions at play behind her irises. The breath she lets out next is shaky and uncertain, but she meets your gaze with a sense of vulnerability that you’ve never seen before.

“Alright,” she concedes. “I’ll call back and tell them I’m not fit for the mission.”

Relief floods through your veins like ice water, and you hug her tightly, savoring the warmth and the firmness of her muscles around you.

“Thank you,” you mumble gratefully against the heated skin of her neck.

She pulls back slightly, looking into your eyes with a soft smile.

“I love you,” she tells you honestly.

You return her smile, understanding not only the weight of her duties and the life she’s built, but appreciating the strength it’s taken for her to step away from it all for a bit, even if it won’t last long.

“I love you too, Fareeha,” you murmur. “More than I can say.”

And in the quiet moment that follows, she finds herself thinking that choosing you tonight has been a victory within itself.

[criminallyvenomous]

Fighting Leads To Fxxking

Masterlist

Chapter Two - Worse Than A Midterm

Ship - Loki x Stark! Reader

Word Count - 711

Tw - Vomiting (?)

Plot - Stark! Reader get stuck watching Loki after the events of 2012. Moments of weakness and bad decisions involving the world's most hated man lead to the worst possible outcome, pregnancy.

“What’s wrong with you, Y/N? You’ve thrown up like twenty times in the past three days. Do you want me to get Banner?” You were jolted awake from your daydreams. clutching your stomach as if you holding it would prevent it’s expulsion.

“I’m fine, Nat. Just college stuff. It’s midterms and I can’t bear the thought of failing an exam, especially after everything that’s happened this year.”

“That’s understandable, kid. Don’t stress yourself out, you’re a Stark, you’ll be fine.” She rubbed your back in circles until you nodded.

It had been a little over a month since the incident. You hadn’t told anyone what had happened, and frankly the secret was making you sick. You couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer, it was killing you. But, the ramifications of sleeping with Earth’s greatest villain was enough to prevent you from telling anyone.

~

A week had passed since Nat’s inquiry and you found yourself sick again, with her by your side. Midterms were over, so you were sure it had to have been your subconscious punishing you for your grave mistake.

“I’m going to ask you something, and you can not get mad at me.” She looks into your eyes, as you lay back against the wall.

“What?”

“Could you be… possibly… pregnant?” She asked, stumbling as if trying to avoid the question.

“What would make you think that? No, of course not.” You replied, reassuring your own fear once again. You were on birth control, it was going to be fine.

“I don’t know, the sneaking around this past month, the marks on your neck, as well as the vomiting.” She retorted. You weren’t still having sex with him, it was a one time thing. He was in an Asgardian prison, for heavens sake. You didn’t know he was powerful enough to make semi-permanent hickeys. Maybe you should have, he is a god after all.

“I’m not sneaking off to have a secret fling, I’ve just been busy.”

“Have you had sex recently, though? When was the last time? I’m not going to tell your dad, okay. You’re like my niece, I care about you.” She scooted closer to you. You looked up at her.

“Like a month ago?”

“Oh, okay. Wait so, the whole world was ending and you were getting it on? Honestly I can’t blame you.” She laughed, “Did you use protection?”

“No, but I’m on the pill. I have been for years.” Tony had a rather interesting parenting approach, avoid all conversations about peoples bodies and to instead just give you everything you could possibly need.

“The pill doesn’t always work. Especially if there are other complications. Like, were you taking it at the same time every day? Y/N? Are you listening?“ You weren’t. You stopped hearing her after the mention of complications.

“Would being a god count as a complication?” Fuck, you said that out loud. This was not good. You looked up from the floor and turned your head to Natasha, desperately trying to read her expression. Her face was in a state of confusion, then lighting up while making very round ‘o’ shape with her mouth.

“Did you fuck Thor? I don’t judge, at all. Like, I get it. He’s very attractive, like insanely hot. Isn’t he with Jane, though?” Her mouth was running a mile a minute.

“Uh, they were on a break?” You shrugged, guessing it would be easier to go with Thor than the man that killed their friend and tried to take over the world.

“Oh, oh. Okay. I, uh. Um.” She was having just as hard of a time processing as you were, “Are you going to keep it?”

“I hadn’t really thought about that aspect of it. I’ve never had a scare before, let alone pregnancy.”

“Hey, hey, breathe. It’s going to be okay, honey. Just breathe. We don’t even know if you’re pregnant. It could just be a virus or something.” It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t.

You finally know what he meant that day.

“Doesn’t your dad have like a Y/N emergency kit? With condoms, tampons, and pregnancy tests or something? So you never have to talk to him about anything?” She asked.

“Yeah, he does. It’s under the sink.”

hope u enjoyed! don't choke my little guttersluts - kat.

Next Chapter

[sky-berrie]

How would the batboys react to a female SO with Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Hi there!

Thanks so much for the ask. I hope this is okay :)

-Sky

Bruce

As a person living with paranoid personality disorder, you might be terrified that people are out to harm you. Your place of residence, Gotham city, does nothing but exacerbate your paranoid thought patterns, since criminals run rampant through the streets. It’s hard to distinguish between paranoid thoughts and substantiated concerns. Is that sketchy person with the full face covering one of Black Mask’s False Face Society members sent to abduct you, or are they just a conscientious citizen taking extra precautions to avoid contracting or transmitting the COVID virus? Being in a state of constant fear prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Luckily, your S/O happens to be Batman in his free time.

Bruce eases your mind just with his presence. He’s probably the smartest, strongest, and most resourceful person you know and being with him makes you feel safe. Bruce is the kind of person who you’d blindly listen to during an emergency – if he told you to jump out of a burning plane, you’d do it without a second thought because he’s never let you down in the past and you’re confident that he never will in the future. If you’re feeling fearful in public, Bruce will grab your hand or put an arm around you securely and soothingly whisper in your ear that he’s right here and there’s nothing to worry about. Having paranoid thoughts means that it’s difficult to reason with you, so you probably aren’t convinced that there is no threat, but you do experience some relief from his soft touch and gentle words. He’ll ask if you want to leave and he’ll take you to your safe space. If you’re feeling fearful in private, Bruce will hold you close and rub your back to reduce your anxiety. If you’re by yourself and start to have those racing, panicked paranoid thoughts, you can always call Bruce. He’ll drop whatever he is doing and come take care of you.

Bruce will teach you self defense to help you feel more comfortable around people. He won’t arm you with any dangerous weapons because he doesn’t want an innocent person to get hurt if you get spooked. Bruce will ask if you want to move into the manor since it has strong security and comes with several vigilantes. If you would rather stay at your own place, Bruce will install a variety of safety systems to make you feel protected. He’ll even spend most nights at your place so you can sleep peacefully. Overall, Bruce is like your lifeline. He’ll know just what to do to help you through your difficult thoughts.

Dick

Dick is a social butterfly who’s had his fair share of romantic partners in the past so it’s natural for you to feel jealous when he spends time with other people. Dick will adamantly declare that he’s with you and only you. At first you might try to ignore the prickly feeling of jealousy because you don’t want to come off as a possessive S/O, but the clues accumulate and suggest that he’s cheating on you. For example, he’ll rarely spend the night with you. You’ll catch him sneaking into bed at ungodly hours of the morning. When confronted, he’ll make up an excuse that he just went to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. You’ll spot bruises scattered over his chest knowing you definitely did not leave those there. He’ll play it off as a gym injury.

When you raise your suspicions, Dick is hesitant to explain. You take this as confirmation of infidelity and you’re ready to walk out. At that point, he has no choice but to come clean about his secret identity as Nightwing. That sounds farfetched and you likely think he’s a pathological liar. Finally, Dick proves it to you and explains that he didn’t want you to be dragged into his dangerous nightlife. While you accept that as the truth, you’ll always wonder if he’s hiding more secrets. Furthermore, you’re probably pissed that he was gaslighting you. Dick will do everything he can to make it up to you. He’ll apologize profusely and in extravagant ways, be more transparent, and shower you with excessive love and affection. It might take a long time, but eventually Dick will worm his way back into your good graces.

It doesn’t take long for the green-eyed monster to rear its’ ugly head again. Now that you’re in the know, you’re hyperaware of the attractive vigilantes that Dick works with and it’s emotionally draining to be jealous all the time. You don’t want to be the type of person who tries to control their partner’s life, but when the suffering becomes too much to bear, you might ask him to stop seeing certain people. Dick will calmly assure you that there isn’t anything going on with any of his vigilante friends. If that doesn’t appease you, he’ll suggest that you hang out with the team and get to know them. He hopes that you’ll see that there aren’t any romantic feelings between them. Whatever you do, please don’t force him to choose between you and his hero life. It will tear him apart.

Jason

Trust is very important to Jason. He doesn’t trust many people as it is and needs a S/O who he can trust wholeheartedly and who will trust him in return. He believes that this relationship will fail if you don’t have confidence in each other. He’ll take it personally if you distrust him. Jason will get defensive and frustrated if you accuse him of being unfaithful, especially if you don’t have a shred of evidence to support your claims. He’ll be offended and deeply hurt that you think so negatively of him but once he’s had some time to cool off, he’ll be able to process everything more objectively. He’ll accept that you can’t control the way you feel. You’d explained it to him once that you do trust him, but there’s a separate voice in your head that tells you otherwise. Jason won’t give up on you though. He’ll come up with a proposition - he’ll agree to install a tracking app on his phone so you can monitor his whereabouts if you’ll promise to work on learning to trust him, whether it be via professional psychotherapy or reading self-help books.

On the other hand, if Jason is one of the only people you trust, he’ll be elated to know that you two have built such a strong connection. It’ll be easy to confide in him because he’ll gladly listen to your worried thoughts with no judgement. At first, he’ll reassure you that nothing bad is going to happen to you – he’s Red Hood and nobody is going to pull anything on you if they value their life. Eventually he’ll realize that trying to reason with you isn’t helpful so he’ll stick to active listening when you’re experiencing paranoid thoughts.

However, if Jason is fresh out of the pit and emotionally unstable, you two will probably bond over your mutual distrust and cynicism about the world. Although you and Jason will get along exceptionally well, it’s possible that your irrational thoughts may feed each other’s paranoia and exacerbate the feelings of mistrust and suspicion. If you find yourself unable to let things go, feel free to vent away when you’re with Jason. He is the king of holding grudges, so he’ll probably support you and even join in on trash talking that person with you when you’re angry. Learning to forgive and forget is something you and Jason can work on together. In a way, it brings you two closer together since you understand each other on a level that others can’t begin to comprehend.

Tim

Tim very compassionate and patient; however, he’s afraid of triggering you so he’s often walking on eggshells around you. He just wants to be the perfect supportive S/O for you and doesn’t want to mess up the relationship. His worst offense (in your eyes) is using ambiguous language that lends to multiple interpretations. For example, he might innocently compliment your clothes/hair/makeup and you might assume that he only likes you for your appearance or that he’s implying that you’re vain for wanting to look nice. The moment you shoot him daggers, he’s realized his mistake and starts to furiously backpedal. He tries to explain himself, but he usually ends up digging himself a deeper hole. Eventually, he gets better at expressing his thoughts carefully so that they can’t be misconstrued.

Tim diligently tries to learn your other triggers and how to help. When you’re stuck in a cycle of paranoid thoughts, Tim will get you to focus on what’s real instead of trying to make you see sense. He’ll help you relax by walking you through breathing exercises, playing soothing music, or whatever strategies you find helpful.

Tim isn’t proud of this, but he’s resorted to deceiving you when necessary. For instance, if you’re experiencing paranoid thought patterns and want to be alone, Tim will hesitantly leave, but he’ll probably secretly monitor you only because he’s worried about your safety. If you’re afraid that others are reading your mind, he might pretend that he invented an anti-mindreading helmet to ease your suspicions. He knows you would feel betrayed if you ever found out about his dishonesty, but he reasons that your safety and comfort are more important in the moment.

Damian

Arguments with Damian are brutal. No matter how insignificant the disagreement is, Damian refuses to back down when he believes he’s right. Paired with your own stubbornness and contentiousness, these quarrels generally result in an impasse. Eventually your anger subsides and the depression sinks in. You might assume that Damian doesn’t love you anymore and that fight was the end of your relationship. Maybe you start packing your belongings to move out right away. Damian comes up behind you and asks what you’re doing. When you tell him that you’re leaving because he doesn’t want you anymore, he’s instantly remorseful. He takes your bags out of your hands and proceeds to pull you in close as he tells you how much he loves you. He assures you that two people can disagree and still love each other.

Damian doesn’t want to argue with you and he certainly doesn’t want to see you upset so he’ll always excuse himself before the argument becomes too heated. He hopes that some time apart will allow you both to calm down and come to a compromise, but it’s never that simple. Most of the time, you’ll need a third-party mediator, like a therapist, to resolve your dispute. The act of seeking out a therapist will be a huge accomplishment for your relationship. Damian likes his privacy and doesn’t want someone else in his business and you might be afraid to share intimate information with a stranger in fear that it will be used against you. Nevertheless, you both want to make this relationship work, so you’ll continue to seek help.

Damian has a habit of being blunt. He doesn’t mean to criticize or insult you – in his mind, he is only stating the facts or his opinion for the purpose of helping you improve. Despite his goodhearted intentions, it’s easy for you to take his comments the wrong way and perceive it as a personal attack. If he sees that his remarks have upset you, he’ll acknowledge all the positive aspects of your performance. Still, you might cling to the disparaging comments and ignore the praise. Going forward, Damian will try to be more encouraging and constructive and will only express feedback if you invite him to do so.

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

Stray Kids’ reaction to their S/O catching them stare

Scenario: You catch them stare.

Genre: Fluff/ Humour Pairing: Stray Kids members X Reader Word count: 2,3K Warnings: None. Author’s note: I was in highly need of some fluff and I think more STAYs are <3. Take care everyone! Priorities your mental health and your physical health of course and STAY safe!

Chan:

The two of you had entered a café, wanting to work together even though you both had a day off. You had to admit, the pair of you were workaholics, yet very supportive of one another and rather protective of each other’s health. Chan insisted on going on a date, but since there was a lot of work to do, you both brought your laptops along.

You had been sitting together in silence in a corner booth of the café, both concentrated on your own work as you sipped on your tea. Chan sighed after writing lyrics for a new song and stretched his tired body whilst looking at you. He smiled at himself when he saw your puffed cheeks and the small pout that were showing on your face.

He thereafter rested his and under his head for support as he unconsciously began to stare. He felt his chest warm up when he looked at you, the amount of love he felt towards you was almost overwhelming, but he wouldn’t mind drowning in it any day.

You were losing motivation and concentration to keep on working and decided to take a small break. Whilst taking your eyes off the screen in front of you, you could sense a pair of eyes watching you. When Chan shyly looked away from you and panicked to act cool, you knew you caught him staring. “What? Is my beauty that distracting?” You joked whilst wiggling your eyebrows. “Yes, very.” Chan mutters, causing your heart to flutter, leaning closer to him to press a kiss on his cheek, this time it was his heart that was fluttering.

Minho:

You had invited, well basically dragged your boyfriend to your auntie’s wedding. She was one of your favourite persons in the world, Minho of course being one of them. She had drunkenly dragged you later during the party onto the dancefloor, splitting your from your boyfriend. She had been dancing with you for a while as Minho was being bored by your other aunties who were almost having an interview with him as they bombarded him with questions.

‘What do you do for a living?’ ‘Do you earn much-‘ ‘Janice don’t ask that, don’t be rude… But do you?’

Minho was desperately looking through the crowd to find you and when he did, he felt the heavy feeling of bothersome fall off his shoulders when your smile caught his eyes. You were his instant happiness, a little happy virus that he needed in his life.

You didn’t notice your boyfriend staring at you as you continued to dance, but your still-wasted auntie did. She made eye contact and signed to Minho to take over the dancing. And before you knew it you felt a pair of hands around your waist, scaring you for a second until you heard Minho’s voice whisper in your ear.

“Enjoying yourself without me honey?” He pouted. “A little guess, you were as well watching me, but it’s always better when I’m with you.” You winked as you had turned around to dance with him, holding his hand before pulling him closer to your body. “Beautiful.” Minho muttered, making you blush as you playfully hit his chest and hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Leaving Minho bursting out in laughter.

Changbin:

Binnie had dragged you to the studio as he wanted to work on some projects a little longer. You had been home alone due to Covid and really wanted to get out of the apartment for a while. Seated on one of the leather chairs behind Bin you were munching on some chips he had quickly picked up from a convenience store across the road.

“Baby, can you listen to this for me? I don’t know how I feel about it.” Your boyfriend mutters before handing you the headphones that he was wearing before. Placing it over your head you listened to the beat that your talented boyfriend had composed.

Changbin in the meantime was waiting nervously for you to finish listening. He always thought that your opinion weighted heavily on his music. He wanted everything to be perfect and that you surely would love it, which you did either way.

He was caught up staring at you that he didn’t notice that you were already done and talking to him, giving positive feedback and telling him what you loved about the song already.

“Binnie?” “Y-yes! I was listening! Yes! Hi!” He stuttered, making you giggle. “You’re cute Dwaekki.” You teased, pinching his cheeks as they heated up after being caught. “Hush, you’re the cute one here baby.” He mutters, trying to hide his face in the palms of his hands shyly.

Hyunjin:

‘Let’s go on a date.’ He had suggested as it was your one-year anniversary.

You now were getting ready for the date, he had made reservations at your favourite restaurant and planned on taking Kkami with you. Whilst fixing your hair and applying a little makeup in your shared bedroom, you didn’t notice your boyfriend of one year entering the bedroom in the room next to you.

“Sweetie, do you know where my silk blouse is?” He had asked, peaking his head through the doorframe, expecting you to answer him. But silence filled the room instead as you didn’t hear him and he was stunned by your beauty.

Through the year he had been around with you, especially since the two of you decided quite early in your relationship to move in together, yet every time Hyunjin saw you getting ready, he was mesmerised.

To him you were an angle that was send from above and he couldn’t help but admire the beautiful creation he was blessed enough to call his. You caught his stares as you made eye contact with him through the mirror, causing the both of you burst out in giggles and only being able to make out gibberish in your flustered states.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, kissing your hair whilst hugging you from behind. “Speak for yourself handsome.” You giggled before pressing your lips on his.

Jisung:

“Here’s your cheesecake!” You chirped, handing your boyfriend his plate as you sat down next to him. “You’re the best.” He cried out dramatically before pressing kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle. “I know, now shush and watch the movie Han.” You said, focussing your eyes on the screen in front of you after teasing Jisung, who couldn’t help but pout.

The movie wasn’t that thrilling to him and wandered his eyes off the screen rather often. They landed on you, who was fixated on Aladdin who was singing ‘A whole new world’ with Jasmine. The cheesecake that you held also made its way to your mouth every once in a while and Jisung smiled to himself as he watched you adopt yet another habit of his, which was stuffing his cheeks as he ate.

He had rested his head on the sofa that the two of you were sitting on as he continued to stare at you. He really had no choice. You were wearing his oversized hoodie and you looked more beautiful than ever to him. He never really liked extravagant dates with candlelight dinners every time he wanted to spend time with you. A big blanket, cuddles and some good snacks did the trick for him.

As Jisung was thinking about how much he loves you he didn’t notice that you had turned your head to him, wondering if he heard you after you cracked a joke. “Sungie?” No reaction. Causing you to giggle. “Earth to Sung?” You teased, waving your hand in front of his face, making him jump in his seat. “Take a picture baby, it lasts longer.” You snickered trying to hug him, as Jisung hid his face under the fluffy blanket.

Felix:

A visit to the dog café had become a weekly routine of yours and Lix.

He had pretty much become attached to the dogs, but since they couldn’t take care of them at the dorms due to work and other schedules, Lix made a promise to himself to visit them as much as possible.

And after he met you he had brought you along with him ever since. You really loved seeing him so excited to play with the dogs. It was almost like he had become a puppy himself. “I’m sorry have you seen my boyfriend, I can only spot these adorable puppies.” You had jokes once, making him burst out in heartily laughter. “Your loyal companion is here!” Lix would play along before skipping his way to you and surprising you with a tight embrace.

Today, you were seated, eyes fixated on the puppy in your lap, as Felix played with the others. His heart swelled at the sight of you babying the small creature on your lap, playing peek-a-boo with it. He felt a little jealous of the puppy as it was receiving more attention than he was from you, causing him to continue to stare at you.

Because he first of all really couldn’t take his eyes off the adorable scene, but also because he wanted to catch your attention. And when he did, he couldn’t help but feel shy and embarrassed when he saw you laugh at his flustered state. “Lix stop staring!” “Well! You’re giving that puppy more attention than to me! I’m your boyfriend!” He whined playfully. “Lix, have you seen these puppies, how could I possibly ignore them?” “I want to be like a puppy to you.” He teased, making you shake your head in disbelief of your ridiculously cute boyfriend.

Seungmin:

Your boyfriend, Seungmin, had a tight schedule today. And since you had a day off you decided to do something nice for him.

You cooked his favourite food, made sure that you had his favourite shows and movies ready to binge when he would come home from work. You brought him a small gift, knowing that he might be very exhausted and in need of something to cheer him up.

Seungmin in the meantime was longing to go home, filming the music video for their upcoming comeback was tiring and hard work, but to his surprise they finished earlier than he thought. The director was surprised as well at the scenes they shot perfectly at the first try, making the team feel proud of themselves and their hard work they always put into their craft.

Your boyfriend sighed in delight when he entered your apartment. He dropped his bag and took off his shoes as he called out your name. No responds. Instead, he heard music and singing come from the kitchen. He didn’t think too much of it, assuming that your playlist was playing.

But he was surprised to hear the notes coming from your mouth as you sung along perfectly, leaving your boyfriend stunned as he stared at you in awe. Sooner enough the two of you jumped in surprise as you let out a squeal, surprised to see your boyfriend stand there all of the sudden. “How long have you been there?” You asked in embarrassment as you hid your face in your hands. “Long enough to realise how much of a talented partner I have!” Seungmin chirped excitedly as he pressed kisses on your cheeks. “Staring isn’t nice you know.” “Hiding such talent also isn’t.” He teased, making your heart flutter once again, leaving him laughing.

Jeongin:

His hands were sweating and he was almost shaking in his chair as he peaked your way. The professor in front of the two of you was minding her own business as Jeongin’s mind drifted off.

He had been crushing on you ever since the two of you entered college together, which had been a year by now, yet Jeongin never had the courage to say anything other than ‘hi’ to you. Which was surprising since you were pretty much always seated right next to him.

He often wondered if you could hear his heart beat loudly for you, it felt like it could jump out of his chest any second. It was driving him mad, but not as much as the fact that he was just too much of a coward was still in the picture. Here you were as usual, looking beautiful as always. And he was still out her being a coward.

Something snapped in him when he realised that you wouldn’t be single forever. He stiffened and tried to find the courage to talk to you. He didn’t felt himself turn towards you and look at you directly. You didn’t notice at first, but out of the corner of your eye, you had to try your hardest to control the blush that wanted to rush to your cheeks as his eyes were fixated on your face.

You dared to turn to your long-time crush, making actual eye contact with him for maybe the third time in a whole year. “Are you okay?” You asked carefully in a whisper as you caught him staring. “P-please go out on a date with me!” He asked a little too loud as people shot their gazes towards the two, but Y/n didn’t care as her heart was racing as fast as his. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Gifs aren’t mine.

Hope you like it!

[randomfandomimagine]

Love’s Worth Running To. Chapter 5: Hero Work

Pairing: Barry Allen x Stephanie Williams (OFC)

Fandom: Justice League / DCEU

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⬅ PREVIOUS CHAPTER • CHAPTER INDEX • NEXT CHAPTER ➡

AO3

A/N: Another chapter! I think this one as very interesting stuff, and it’s finally starting to move on to my favorite part of the story, I can’t wait to post the few next chapters!

Also, and as always, remember to give this some love! Please reblog and leave feedback if you’re liking it, it would help me out a lot and it’d mean the world to me!! 🙏 Thank you so much to everyone that’s supporting this series 🥰💜

With the excuse that she needs to face it sooner or later, Stephanie starts trying out her powers. She promises herself that it means nothing, only a way to ensure they won’t become something dangerous because she can’t control them. It doesn’t mean she will recklessly go out trying to be Wonder Woman. But the improvised hero outfit still lays on the ground. She hasn’t put it away. Keeps glancing at it.

Meanwhile, as her eyes are fixed on the costume, a light crackle of electricity hovers over her palm. Stephanie sighs and focuses her attention on it, watching how the small force field slowly grows. The semi-transparent sphere, at first as small as marble, has reached the size of a football ball now.

Stephanie tells herself that big progress has been made, as at least she is now in control of it even if the force field isn’t big enough to really protect anyone. Its surface is also irregular and unstable. She grits her teeth, frowning in confusion, but the very best she can do is maintain the current state of the force field.

“Ah!” Stephanie suddenly yelps when her phone buzzes. The force field in her hand crackles, creating a mild disturbance in the air, before completely fading.

Promising to keep working on her newfound abilities after checking her phone, she picks the device up and looks at the screen. Her heart halts in anticipation as she reads the text. It’s from Ben.

While it isn’t the person she was expecting, it still warms her heart that Ben is reaching out and checking on her. For that reason, she proceeds to read the message and a small smile finds its way to her lips when she does.

Good morning, Stephanie! How are you feeling? I hope you’re well and recovered. There is no rush to return to work, but I must insist that you rest and properly look after yourself. I’m your boss, so you have to do as I say.

Best regards, Ben.

Stephanie chuckles, endeared by his thoughtful message and amused by the fact that he signed it like he would a written letter... despite the fact that the phone already showcases the sender. Grinning, she starts typing to reply to him.

You may be the man in charge for the project, but shall I remind you that you’re not my boss?

Best regards, Stephanie.

However, and despite the lighthearted interaction, a void settles in her chest.

For a moment, Stephanie had hoped it was Barry contacting her, only to remember that she had been ignoring his many calls and messages. He has probably given up on talking to her, figuring she will do so when she feels comfortable with it. And she misses him. For that reason, she dials his number while Ben types back.

Barry takes a few rings to answer, but when he does his warm and familiar voice is filled with excitement. It makes Stephanie smile as soon as she hears it.

“Steph?!” He answers. “Oh my gosh, hi! How are you feeling?”

“Hi, Barry” The girl can’t stop smiling now, while at the same time wondering how she had survived so many days without him. “I’m feeling better, thank you”

“That’s great, I’m so glad to hear it!” He sighed from the other end, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Um… did you need anything? Or did you just call to chat?”

“Well…” Stephanie awkwardly chuckles, feeling embarrassed for isolating herself. But now that she has her powers mostly under control after that long week, she feels like she can talk to him again. “Actually, I wanted to apologize… I know I’ve been very distant, but…”

“Hey, no” He gently interrupts her. “Steph, you don’t have to apologize, don’t say a word. I understand that you needed some time, anyone would after what you went through!”

Stephanie pauses for a moment while the nerves suddenly stir in her stomach. In the end, noticing his silence as well, she pipes up once more.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Barry”

“I’m always gonna worry about you”

She smiles to herself, knowing that he means that in the best way possible. The nerves disappear, replaced with a wave of warmth that fills her. Suddenly, all those negative emotions she has been experiencing for days are gone. All thanks to his magic.

“Listen, I’m in a hurry. I’m so sorry, I really can’t talk more” Barry mumbles. “But, uh... how ‘bout we meet this evening? I’ll take it easy on you, I promise, I just want to hang out with you for a bit”

“Sure” Stephanie chuckles. “I’d love that”

“Cool!” She hears him happily chuckle as well. “Pick you up at 7?”

“Yeah, see you later” And Stephanie hangs up, unable to erase the smile from her face.

_

When Barry arrives to the place of reunion, he heaves a big sigh. The sky suddenly looks bluer, the birds are singing louder and the sun shines brighter. Everything is okay.

“There you are” Clark pats his shoulder, warning him of the team’s presence. They had been waiting for him. “How can a speedster like you be late?”

“Right, sorry about that” Barry grins instead of taking his words as a scolding.

“You look happy…” Diana tells Barry, kindly nudging him a little.

“Yeah, well” The boy suddenly feels slightly flustered by everyone’s gazes on him. “I talked to Steph”

“Your friend?” Bruce pipes up, the hint of a smile peeking in the corner of his lips. “We told you she just needed some time”

“She doing okay?” Arthur asked, frowning slightly in concern.

“Yeah, she’s fine… she’s fine” Barry sighs like that again, feeling lighter. “Phew, it was such a relief”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Barry” Victor gravely tells him. “But we have work to do”

“You’re right, I know” The boy nods to himself. “I’m ready, let’s go”

The silence settles for a moment. Overlooking the city from their high spot at the top of the skyscraper, the six pensively observe the atmosphere beneath their feet. There is the usual busy sound of traffic, of the crowd’s murmuring and the occasional ambulance or police cars sirens in the distance. Other than that, there are no signs of an imminent threat.

“What are we doing here again?” Arthur pipes up. “Everything seems calm”

“Too calm” Bruce grimly replies, glancing at the rest. “I know something’s wrong”

“I can feel it too” Victor adds. “The electric devices feel erratic, like a virus is slowly poisoning the city”

“What we can do about it?” Diana stares at the cyborg, whose eyes are fixed on the city underneath.

“Can you do something to stop that virus?” Barry suggests to him. “Get into their systems or something?”

“I can’t” Victor gravely says, locking eyes with the speedster. “That’s how I know something’s wrong”

“I can feel it too” Clark admits. There are no traces of his usual smile. “Maybe it’s just an intuition, but-”

Before he can even finish his sentence, a loud ruckus startles them all. Something has changed right under their field of vision. An automated train, moving on its own and filled with thousands of innocent passengers, is violently wavering and making the people inside it scream and panic. It moves at a vertiginous speed. More strange noises ensure that the train isn’t the only electronic device malfunctioning there.

“You wouldn’t be doing that, by any chance?” Barry asks Victor, who slowly shakes his head.

As on cue, everyone moves at his denial. The six seem synchronized as they throw themselves down the rooftop. Diana uses her lasso to soar through the air, Bruce glides with his cape and Barry speeds leaving behind a faint blue tail. Clark flies, followed by Victor with his propellers, and Arthur throws his trident and rides it like a surf board.

In the blink of an eye, the six have landed on top of the train. More panicked screams fill the interior with the loud thud of their landing. They struggle to maintain balance in the speeding train. Moving quickly, Clark tears the metallic top of the train open and so everyone drops to the inside.

“Please stay calm” He kindly says to the terrorized passengers.

“We’re here to help” Bruce assures them with his deep voice.

“We’re saved!” A blond woman exclaims. “It’s Superman!”

“And Wonder Woman!”

“And The Batman!”

Although a warm welcome, the Justice League focuses on the mission ahead: saving those people. They exchange quick glances between them and get to work. There is no time to lose.

“Barry” Bruce lowly tells him. “Get rid of all the electronic devices as soon as possible”

“Before they overheat and explode” Victor urges him, his red eye seeming to recognize the extent of the danger they present. “They’re malfunctioning just like the train”

“Copy that!” And with that, the speedster is gone in the blink of an eye. With shocked gasps, the people find that their phones, tablets and any other electronic devices are taken from them. Some explode as soon as they’re thrown out the window, causing an even further outrage.

“I’ll try to stop the train” Victor closes his eyes, focusing his mind on the electric system.

“I’ll do that too” Clark nods, helping the cyborg by flying to the front of the vehicle. As soon as he disappears, the train produces a strident creaking as it drags along the rails. Carefully. Very slowly, it starts losing speed. He can’t risk harming the people inside with a violent halt.

“We’ll get the people safely off” Diana taps Bruce, who doesn’t lose one second to go with her.

“And I’ll help you out” Arthur throws his trident to the doors, breaking through them to allow them an exit.

Soon after, Barry has returned and instantly goes with Diana, Bruce and Arthur to help them move the passengers out of the speeding train. Clark seems to continue his part of the rescue, because it loses speed by the second. Slow and safely.

While Arthur breaks open all the doors he can to create more exits, the rest gets ahold of as many people as possible. The train hasn’t quite stopped yet. Bruce carries three grown men, using his grappling hook to swing to safety. Diana has picked up a group of four children while Barry puts their parents to safety. Perhaps they can’t quite understand and solve what is happening in the city yet, but in the meantime they can always protect the people.

_

Seven o’clock can’t come soon enough. Time passes slowly, and Stephanie’s eyes keep landing on the discarded outfit on the ground. She bites her lip. Knowing she is meeting Barry later seems to fill her with courage. Hope. Maybe she can be like their heroes, like Wonder Woman and Superman. At the very least, she can try.

“Maybe I’ll just try it on…” She mumbles, trying to get rid of her impatient energy, and as though they outfit would have changed sizes during those few days she hasn’t touched it.

Telling herself that it’s only a way to stay distracted and busy while she waits for Barry to arrive, although that isn’t for two more hours, Stephanie gets changed. The tight leggings slip on easily, like a second skin, like they’re the right thing to wear. After she puts on the tank top as well, she stands before the mirror once more. The same sense of excitement and wonder settle in her stomach, taking the form of butterflies that take flight inside it.

The look is almost complete. Just when she is applying the eye shadow like the other day, a sound interrupts her. Several police cars pass by her apartment at top speed, illuminating the streets with their blue light. A test. A call to adventure. Will she answer?

“I can do it” She whispers to herself. “I want to help, I can do it”

Anxious as the police cars wail in the distance, Stephanie nods in resolution. After such a long time of inactivity, her muscles complain at the sudden energy bursts. Ignoring the light aching of her body, Stephanie runs. She leaves her apartment, leaves behind her building and runs in the direction the police cars took. After days if inactivity, she feels alive again. Her lungs urgently fill with air, her heart begins beating so fast that it throbs in her ears.

Stephanie doesn’t stop running, chasing the call to heroism and smiling widely.

_

She gasps for air as she watches the scene before her in confusion. The streets are total chaos. Even the few policemen that have stayed seem to have lost their minds. All the people, from ordinary bystanders, to service workers that have left their establishments, are running aimlessly and screaming in a panic.

“HEEEELP!!! He will kill us all!!” A shrieking voice gathers her attention upwards. A man is teetering at the very edge of a ledge, at the top of a building. He seems about to jump. Stephanie can’t get there in time to save him. Where is the Justice League when you need it?!

Trying to make herself audible among the shouting of the panicked people around her, she focuses on the man whose life is in immediate danger.

“Stay where you are!” She shouts at him, but he only dedicates her an absent glance.

Stephanie frantically looks around, searching for something that can help her. Nothing of use is in sight. What can she do? An idea suddenly pops up in her brain. Wiggling her fingers, she tries to create a force field around herself. If it’s stable enough, maybe it can lift her off the ground and transport her to him.

But it’s all for naught. It’s too late. Her heart skips a beat.

The man has walked off the ledge.

“NO!” Stephanie screams, so violently that she hurts her throat.

On an instinct, she reaches out in his direction despite the big distance that separates them. Her head fills with uneasy thoughts, all of which are focused on helping him. Saving him! Her first attempt can’t end like that, she needs to do something!

Just as the man is about to step into the air and commence a free fall of several stories high, a bubble creates around him. The man gasps, suspended in the air by a wavering force field.

Realizing it is her doing, Stephanie clenches her jaw and focuses all her might on it. Although it quakes with her effort, the bubble carefully glides downwards until it touches the pavement. As soon as it does, the man looks around in a daze and begins to walk away.

Stephanie finds that such small deed was too great for her. All her energies abandon her and she suddenly falls to the ground. She sits there helplessly. Her heart has recovered that unforgiving pace and she breathes heavily again, even worse than after her dash.

In a daze, feeling how her brain slowly fills with fog, Stephanie watches the scene. Two men are fighting close to her, shouting as they’re convinced the other is a threat. A woman and her baby run aimlessly, wailing as each make more noise than the previous. All around her reigns absolute chaos. Panic. Terror. The reason? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand.

A man runs for his life, anxiously looking over his shoulder as though something or someone is chasing him. Stephanie can’t see anything behind the man. Just as he passes her by, she weakly holds on to the leg of his pants.

“Sir, sir!!” She calls out, trying to get through to him. Fighting his panic, he nervously turns to her. “What is happening?!”

“T-The scarecrow!” The man gulps. “We’re all going to die!”

And with that her breaks free from her grasp with one simple jerking motion and continues on his escape from an invisible foe.

Stephanie frowns under her eye mask. There are no signs of any scarecrow, and even if it was… what would a scarecrow be doing in a city? Why would an inanimate object be a threat? These people seem to be frightened of an imaginary foe. The only thing different aside from the panicked people is a strange ambiance. Although slightly similar to the way her force fields change the air, this once it feels heavy. There is a mild odor of something burning, like popcorn that has been on the microwave for too long.

But… there is no fire. Stephanie suddenly gets an urge to leave. She makes to stand up, but she remains too weak to move. Anguish overcomes her. Something is happening in that place, something that she cannot comprehend but that is starting to take over her too.

She doesn’t know what, but something is wrong. Something is about to happen. Something bad. Something terrible. She can’t stop thinking about it. A feeling of dread overpowers any other rational thoughts. Now Stephanie understands how all those people feel. Panicked She does too.

Her eyes frantically travel all around her, expecting hidden enemies in every corner. Her powers are useless, even if she could use them. She can’t protect herself, or anyone else.

Static-like void fills her brain, causing her to push her hands against her ears when it feels like her head is about to explode. Her temples throb. Her heart thumps. Her breathing quickens.

Just as she feels herself about to completely lose control, a figure appears in front of her as though it has fallen from the heavens. Stephanie yelps and whimpers, shielding her face with her hands and leaning backwards to get away.

“Hey” A deep dark voice approaches her. “You okay?”

Stephanie dares to peek through her fingers, only becoming more frightened when she actually sees the person… the… creature? It looks like a man, but her panicked mind can only see an enormous bat standing on two legs with its wings wide open.

“Ah!” She screams, so the figure folds the wings and cautiously approaches her. She still doesn’t trust him. “Please don’t hurt me!”

He can hurt her. He will. Anyone can. Anyone will.

“I’m not going to hurt you” He slowly crouches down to be at eye level with her. She can see his worried brown eyes through the mask that covers his features. “Look at me”

“You’re… you’re…” The world seems to spin around her, and Stephanie is out of breath. “You’re The Batman”

“That’s right, I’m here to help” He reminds her, offering her his hand. “What’s going on?”

Stephanie gulps as he pulls her to her feet. It comes to her attention that he looks her up and down, reminding her of the outfit she’s wearing. A hero… she failed. The reason why she went there on the first place was because she wanted to help those people, but… reality becomes a little more stable as she realizes… not even the police stuck around.

“Can you hear me?” The Batman tries again. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know… I don’t know” All her thoughts are scrambled, too fast to stop as they slip through her lips. “Something… is wrong… I can’t explain it...”

A sudden urge to cry causes her to stare at him, begging for help. Maybe he knows what strange occurrence takes place in that street, or how to stop it, or how to end it. He doesn’t seem to, but his eyes are filled with compassion.

“I assume you wanted to help, but you can go” He tells her, supporting her as she feels herself swaying. “Don’t worry, everything will be alright”

Stephanie slowly nods, taking a deep breath and making an effort to fight through that strange trance of terror. No one has attacked her yet, despite her irrational conviction that they would.

“Go, get to safety” The Batman insists, gently letting go of her. “I’ll take care of this”

She opens her mouth. To warn him. He doesn’t know. Since he has just arrived, he has no idea what he will soon experience. But Stephanie can’t speak up. She barely has the strength to stand.

Stumbling and in a daze, she takes a step. She needs to get away from there, breathe a different air. Clean air, not contaminated with whatever is hurting her so. For that reason, she takes another step. And then another. Little by little, she gets away from there. The safety of her home has never felt so distant.

_

When she wakes up, Stephanie can barely remember how she clumsily plopped on the bed and fell asleep. She had nightmares that are impossible to remember. The fact that she is still wearing her hero outfit is proof that it really happened. She still feels feverish and exhausted from her attempt. Something out of the ordinary was happening there. She can only hope The Batman helped those people, and that he himself was safe after all of that.

Remembering she is supposed to meet Barry when he texts her a quick ‘omw’ that lets her know he will arrive soon, Stephanie gets up. She gets changed and stumbles through her own house as though the ground is shaking under her feet.

Her mind seems to clear up as the minutes pass. When she is done getting ready, she goes to the door where she is supposed to meet Barry. He isn’t there yet. At least, her thoughts feel more coherent and ordered now.

Even after that strange effect has passed, adark feeling stays with Stephanie, like a black cloud that stays with her. At first she assumed it was the rare burst of adrenaline traveling through her veins. Now she’s not so sure. Her heart hasn’t stopped beating erratically ever since then, and although there is no more danger she feels on edge. Frightened. She wonders if she really wasn’t as brave as she though she was, or that she abused her still recovering body too much, or if the experience was too harrowing to easily leave behind. Whatever the case, a sudden presence forces her away from those thoughts.

“Hi!” Barry jumps into place in front of her, bearing a wide grin that seems to brighten up the subtle darkness that has clouded her heart. “I’m here”

“You’re late again” The girl only says, even if she’s already smiling. Barry’s feeling has a healing effect that cures her lingering restlessness.

“I know, I’m so sorry” He dramatically sighs, although he does look a little tired. “Busy day”

“What did you do today?” Stephanie asks, trying to start a conversation while at the same time distract herself from her unease.

“Uh….. you know...” Barry shrugs. “Run around, do some errands, save the world…”

Stephanie laughs out loud at his joke, and he grins widely in return. However, the gesture vanishes from his face immediately after. He is staring at her with his brow knitted in concern.

“Steph, you look pale…” He whispers, rubbing her arm. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah” She chuckles, internally panicking at the mere thought of him finding out about her powers and her little adventure. “I just… went for a walk to kill time… Guess I’m a little tired”

Barry pauses. She can almost see the wheels turning in his head. He is about to tell her that she should rest and take it easy, but he doesn’t. Instead, he dedicates her his best encouraging smile.

“I’m gonna spoil you today” His hand lingers on her arm. “You’re still recovering and you deserve to be spoiled”

“So it was a trap” Stephanie smirks, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I should have known”

“There’s no escaping now” Barry offers her his arm, which she links with his. He then playfully arches his eyebrows. “Shall we?”

The pair smile at each other as they begin to walk. Barry immediately goes on about what they can do. They can get some snacks and take a little walk. Since she’s been locked inside for so long he wants her to get some air, but he’s stern on letting her rest, so maybe they should sit at a terrace. She doesn’t care what the plan is, she’s just happy to be with him. His presence is reassuring, silently reminding Stephanie that there is nothing to fear.

_

It has returned. That feeling of dread, of imminent danger. It isn’t nearly as strong as before, it merely feels like a shadow of its former self. Nonetheless, it is barely enough to make even breathing exhausting. Stephanie can’t focus.

Night is slowly falling as the sky turns a slightly darker shade of blue. It has orange and purple tinges as the last traces of the sunset erase from the horizon. The early night breeze envelops them, gentle like a caress.

Barry has been talking almost all evening, but Stephanie is no longer answering him. She is absently playing with the paper that the hot dogs they ate came in.

“What do you say?” Barry is saying then, but she’s not listening. “Steph?”

Stephanie is so out of it that she can’t answer. She grits her teeth, trying not to wince, when her temples begin throbbing. Her entire body is giving her signals. All she wants to do is rest. Sleep. Sleep for a really long time.

“Steph” He sternly calls her, taking her free hand when she feebly leans on him. “W-What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” She gulps, avoiding his gaze as she lowers her head in the hopes that the stillness can level her dizziness. “Just got a bit light-headed”

“You sure you’re okay?” When she doesn’t answer, he continues. His voice carries a hint of panic. “You’re still recovering, maybe you should have stayed-”

“I’m okay” She rushes to say, trying her best to smile at him. “Just a bit tired”

“Steph, you almost died not that long ago” Barry gravely says, subtly sinking his fingers into her arm. “And you don’t look so good”

“Barry” She begins to say, tiredly tilting her head as she peers at him. Her vision blurs, but she tries to fight through her unwell. “I’m just… a bit weak…”

He doesn’t reply, only furrowing his brow and feeling a pang of concern in his chest. He had been scared enough to find her after the accident, it only makes it worse to see her in that state still. He doesn’t think he could take the idea of her not being alright.

“And…” Stephanie gulps, wobbling slightly. “V-Very dizzy…”

Barry wraps an arm around her. His heart is racing in unease. Just as he supports her, Stephanie falters. The breath hitches in his throat as he tightens his hold on her and presses her against his side.

“Steph?!” His voice breaks as the concern completely takes over him.

For a few seconds she doesn’t reply, only limply lying against him. Memories of finding her after the accident return to Barry, and he grimaces at the mental image. Luckily, she reacts in time to pull him out of those dark thoughts.

“I’m… okay…” She tells him in a daze, voice weak.

Still firmly holding on to her, he presses his free hand against her forehead. Stephanie’s skin feels warm, confirming his suspicions that she was still sick.

“I’m taking you home” Barry states. “No buts, you need to rest”

Stephanie babbles, opening and closing her mouth. If only he knew the true reason behind her state. But he can never know. In any case, she doesn’t feel lucid enough to speak. The mere idea that she has a secret identity feels far too surreal at the moment, even to herself.

“Can you walk?” Barry tenderly moves the hair away from her face, trying to take a good look at her. She only shakes her head, frowning as she tiredly puts her head on his shoulder. “Okay, up you go”

Straining a little, he grunts as he sweeps her off the floor and into his arms. Stephanie suddenly feels incredibly safe and comfortable in his embrace, and the deep unwell lessen slightly.

“You’re strong…” She chuckles, and she briefly wonders why she’s tilted to the side even though her head is still resting against his shoulder.

“See? You’re clearly delirious” They peer at each other for a moment.

The slight motion of picking her head off his shoulder sends a wave of vertigo through her. She whimpers, closing her eyes tight and gingerly resting her head on his shoulder again. Then, a sudden change of position startles her. When she opens her eyes, they are already at her place. Baffled, she feebly glances around. A moment ago they were… and now… she must be really delirious...

“We’re here” Barry carries her inside. “Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

“No, I just…” She starts to say, but her voice then becomes urgent. “Put me down”

Confused, Barry does as she says. When she is on her feet again, Stephanie presses her hands over her mouth. The wave of nausea soon passes, much to her relief. However, everything else does too.

Barry exclaims as he throw himself forward to catch her. Stephanie drops down, falling limply to the ground. His arms break her fall and he nervously scoops her into them again.

“Oh my gosh…” He mumbles as he rushes her to the bed. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…”

He shakily sighs to himself as he carefully lies her down. The girl’s arms stay locked around his neck even when he lets go of her. Barry stops to intently watch her. She now looks peaceful, as though she badly needed that rest. She’s resting, he tells himself. Yeah, just resting. Her chest softly moves up and down with her calm breathing.

“She’s okay” Barry assures himself, although he begins pacing up and down her room.

Thousands of terrible thoughts battle in his brain. She’s sick again. She hasn’t recovered. She’s dying. The accident was too much for her, she will never fully recover.

“Okay, calm down, Barry” He takes a deep breath, even if he still paces. “She’s fine, she’s gonna be alright”

He tells himself that all those thoughts are lies. They are just fears, not reality. Interrupting himself, Barry stops and looks at her again. Stephanie lies motionlessly in the bed. She is still pale, but she doesn’t look terribly sick. He sighs and resumes his pacing.

“She’s not as bad as she was in the hospital” Barry whispers, trying not to wake her. “She looked much worse then. Besides, Steph’s strong, she’ll be fine, she’ll be-”

Barry’s phone rings, startling him so much that he yelps and jumps in place.

“H-Hello?”

“Barry?”

The boy finally quits his pacing for good. His hand flies to his forehead. He had totally forgotten he was supposed to return to the Batcave after being with Steph. Things had seemed to gotten worse. After their rescue on the train, panic had seemed to reign on the streets for several hours. There was no explanation, but they knew it had something to do with the rest of strange events. And maybe a villain was behind it all.

But now… Stephanie needs him. She is sick. Now he can’t leave her.

“Bruce! I’m so sorry” Barry rapidly says. “I know I should be there, but Steph got really sick and…”

“Is she alright?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah… I think so…”

“And you?”

“I’m fine, I just got scared…” He sighs, settling his nerves. “Really freaking scared”

“So you can’t make it?” Bruce asks him, but at least Barry is relieved that there is no anger or annoyance in his voice.

“I’m afraid not… I’m really sorry, I just…”

“I understand” The man replies. “But we have to check that out”

“Sure, yeah!” Barry nervously ruffles his own hair. “You guys be careful out there, okay?”

“We will” Bruce gently says. “Take care of your friend”

“Yeah” The boy absently hangs up, turning to her once more. She is now lying over her side, having turned slightly in her sleep.

Barry watches her, wondering how he can contain such an immense amount of fondness for her. Just the sight of her pale face was enough to break his heart. If he could, he would hold her tight and never let go, protect her from everything.

When he slowly walks closer to her, a board of the wooden floor creaks. Barry freezes, but it’s too late. Stephanie groggily turns around, opening her eyes moving her head to look around her.

“Barry?” She mumbles, looking around, disoriented. “What…?”

What is Barry doing there with her? However, she quickly forgets about him when her eyes fall on the window. It’s almost dawn. An alarm blasts in her head as her usual routine occupies all her thoughts. She needs to get ready!

"I gotta go to work!" Stephanie makes to stand from the bed, but Barry is faster. He pushes her by the shoulders and forces her to lie down again.

"What?” He exclaims, feeling that anguish that he had just gotten rid of creeping up again. “Are you… are you serious?"

"Barry, I’m gonna be late! Our investigation is very important, it will help so many-"

“Oh my gosh, Steph!” He exclaims, in a surprisingly loud and exasperated voice that instantly silences her in astonishment. “Can you stop thinking about everyone else and take care of yourself for one minute?! Don’t you remember what happened to you?!”

And suddenly, with his words, Stephanie does remember. The accident, the hospital, the heroic attempt, the inexplicable dread in the air… Everything. She relaxes, forgetting about work. She now remembers she hasn’t gone to the lab in a week. But it’s too late for Barry.

Stephanie gawks at him, having no words to retaliate. His sudden outburst is so unexpected that she is utterly speechless. A second after he finishes his sentence, however, his eyes widen in surprise as well. They silently stare at each other.

“I’m so sorry” He utters, averting his gaze in shame. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I just…”

“You’re right… I just got a little disoriented” Stephanie reaches out to delicately take his hand, which he reluctantly allows. “I’m going to lie down, okay?”

The boy nods his head, and he doesn’t move at first even as she insists. When Stephanie tugs at his fingers, he starts to move slowly. Barry turns, hesitantly facing her. Stephanie only pulls a little harder, inviting to sit with her as she returns to her previous spot. Exhaling all the anguish in a shaky breath, Barry joins her in the bed.

No more words are spoken for several seconds. Stephanie doesn’t let go of Barry’s hand. His eyes are watery. Even as he looks away again, she knows, and that is why she tugs at him until they’re both lying down. Resting on their sides, they’re now facing each other. They just rest there for a moment, letting all the tension in the air to vanish and lingering on their positions until Stephanie’s soft voice breaks the silence.

“Are you okay, Barry?”

“Yeah...” He takes a deep breath in. “Just a little shaky”

“I’m sorry…” She mutters, and her hand is delicately pressing against his cheek before she can stop herself. “I really hate to worry you”

“You can’t scare me like that again, okay? Ever” Barry replies, taking her hand off his face and clutching it between both his palms. “Just when I thought you were out of danger you faint on me like that and…”

“I’m okay, Barry” Stephanie assures, chuckling a little when his eyes fall upon hers in a skeptical manner. “I’m better now, really, I just need some rest”

“I can assure you, you’re getting some rest” Remnants of that exasperated tone linger in his voice. “I’m making sure you get some sleep even if I have to lie all day here with you!”

“Is that a threat?” She tenderly smiles, and the callback causes Barry to chuckle.

He pauses, taking a moment to sigh and calm himself.

“Are you really feeling okay?” He lovingly presses her hand against his chest. His heart is drumming underneath it. “Don’t lie to me, Steph, I’ll know”

“I am, I promise” Stephanie snuggles closer to him, embracing his warmth and comforting presence. “Just a little tired”

“What happened to you?” He whispers in concern, even if his arm automatically falls over her frame. “I thought you had rested a lot, that you were recovered. Did I overdo it today? I really tried to…”

“No, no, it’s not that” The girl locks eyes with him, biting her lip as she wonders if she should tell him. In the end she partially does, thinking that he doesn’t need to know the true reason behind her little adventure. “When I went for that walk earlier I… I don’t know… Something affected me… It was like the air was contaminated… It made me feel scared and horrible”

“What was it?”

“I have no idea… I just know there’s something strange going on in this city”

“Yeah, I know…” Barry somberly mutters. After a brief pause, he feels his shoulders relaxing the closer she is. “Try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll watch over you”

Stephanie breathes in, just at the same time that Barry does, and peacefully exhales with him. She hasn’t been feeling safe ever since that awful experience from before. Now, next to Barry and enveloped by his arms, she feels the safest she’s ever been.

Tag list: @scared-to-be-lonely345​​ / @ocfairygodmother​ // Ask to be added to be notified when I post for this series!!

[haikyuuhimbosandhypebeasts]

Heliotrope

Here’s my submission for the Forget Me Not collab for Anisylum! Please note the TW as it is VERY heavy. This piece is entirely SFW though!

Ship: Tsukishima Kei x GN! Reader Genre: Angst, but some fluff in some places. Word Count: 2.2k  Trigger/Content Warnings: near death experience, hospitalization, COVID-19, vomit mention, amnesia after hospitalization, a suicide attempt is briefly mentioned, swearing because this is by me Sexy Sexy Masterlist: here!

Sand clung to skin and the harsher rays of light that usually cascaded and burnt you had died away into a fading tangerine glow. You perched comfortably on the sand, taking note of the undulating waves- they were like you in the sense that while you could crash down hard on the opposition, you would shy away in a fragile manner when faced with gentle treatment. Perhaps it was that you felt you weren’t worth such luxuries that you found it hard to make friends through your first few years of high school. Perhaps it was trying to push people away because you were afraid yet alarmingly aware of your mortality. Perhaps it was something else entirely, something you weren’t quite ready to come to terms with. What you did know was that you weren’t alone in the violent struggle through high school to make friends while you had your walls up. Next to you was someone you never thought you’d share your favorite place with; in any terms you found this boy appalling with his behavior. So appalling, you saw yourself in the way he closed himself off and cut those close with tongue lashings. You knew this only through another friend who took issue with him as you went to another school in an entire other prefecture. Words mauled their way out from your throat, breaking the silence between you and Tsukishima Kei. “I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life.” You didn’t understand yourself. Why would you say that…? You don’t remember anything like this at all… His response was equally incoherent and odd. “Okay, but I’ll kill you if you go back on it.” When you opened your mouth to reply to him, the ground around you suddenly reared up like a defensive serpent. A pillar of beach sand forced its way from the ground into your throat, suffocating and trapping your lungs in permanent fullness. You could only gag and cry, unable to even see Tsukishima past the torrent of sand breaking into your body with the intent to kill you slowly…

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You woke up once more in that dull grey-blue and white room with the only sounds you could properly process being the beep of a heart monitor somewhere behind you. You had managed to halfway curl into somewhat resembling the fetal position, but something kept making you cough and gag as your throat was caught. You move your hand to whatever is catching and about to make you vomit- a tube. This tube, you followed, was in your nose good and solid, and you felt it deep enough in your sinuses you didn’t dare try to pull it out. Moving your hands felt foreign like you had forgotten how to process being human and natural motions like that. You testingly ran your right hand down the tube, taking care to not tug and cause discomfort. Your other hand came to rest on your face. It was slick from sweat, likely due to whatever the fuck you just had a dream about. At the corner of your lips was another tube and when you followed where it led it was taped to the side of your face. You lick your lips and manage to almost fall into a haze until you see movement for the first time in what feels like forever. To be fair, it is one of the most jarring appearances of a person you’ve seen in your whole life to what you can recall. A person in a full-body hazmat suit enters your room through a door you hadn’t even processed was there, then greets you as casually as they can through a plague-resistant suit. “Hey there.” You squint at them. Yeah, you have no fucking idea who this cosplayer in a hospital is, and while you should probably be polite, you feel like you got ran over not once but twice.  You try to speak to them, but you can’t. You don’t have the air for it, it’s like you have no control over your breathing. Clarity washes over you. You’re hospitalized. These are tubes because you were asleep and weren’t breathing or eating right. The realization must show on your face because your nurse speaks up again. “Don’t worry about me too much, we’re just gonna check your vitals and if you feel up to it, we can see how you do without the ventilators.” You try to manage out a “whoopee”, which unimpressively comes out as some form of odd wheeze, and your nurse begins by grabbing the blood pressure cuff covered in protective plastic while they wear a sympathetic expression.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Once you were off the ventilator, the nurse informed you about what had happened. Apparently, an ambulance was called when you were unresponsive and nearly blue in the face, sitting in front of your refrigerator with the door open. You were diagnosed with a severe case of COVID-19, something you had feared would wipe you out entirely and turn you past tense since its spread in your country. This fear wasn’t entirely irrational, either- you were immunocompromised and have been since you were a child. You grew up with being careful around others and hearing of a highly contagious new strain was something that filled you with so much paranoia you seriously considered quitting your current career and instead adopting a hermit lifestyle while completing college at home. Of course, such a thought was squashed by the slowly impending thought of rent, bills, due dates for assignments, and your bitch of a manager who lets people get close to you without a mask on. It’s not a big deal, (y/n), she once said to you. You wanted to shoehorn some tubes down her throat just to survive, see how that felt. It didn’t help that human resources wouldn’t listen to your complaint. They brushed it off since you were just a lowly sandwich maker at a chain sub place. If you had enough scraped together for lawyers right about now, they’d be totally fucked, you thought to yourself. Even more jarring is that it seemed you lost a handful of memories while in the hospital. You could remember basic outlines of people in your head- your very tall and incredibly testy roommate, your younger sister who wore glasses and was much smaller than you, and… a foggy memory of a man with messy black bedhead who had an arm wrapped around your shoulder. It hurt to think too hard. The doctor soon came by to give you test results, to check your vitals again, and to look over your records. He was a bit terse, but you can’t make the best judgments of people when they’re in plastic suits. “We’ll need to get you cleaned up by tomorrow and you should be able to head home,” he’d said, looking over your chart. You didn’t necessarily feel too ecstatic about your trip to your apartment. You remembered your roommate and how finicky he was, and you dreaded for him to belittle you over your condition. You dreaded it enough to even feel a knot of anxiety form in your stomach, wrenched in between your ribs without the intent of ever coming out. “We’ve already contacted uh…” The doctor squints at the screen, “Tsukishima… to come to pick you up tomorrow at noon. We’ll have care instructions printed out. You still have to quarantine for about a week more since your immune system isn’t at its most prime currently.” You agreed, it probably wasn’t a good recovery idea to make a couple of sammies for the public while you were recovering from a virus that had you intubated. He seemed grateful that you were lucid and cooperative, at least.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You, predictably, didn’t sleep well after being in a medically induced haze for several days. Even more predictably, you found yourself awake from anxieties of the future. Tomorrow was only a few hours away, and then you’d be home. Home… what did that look like for you? The fog in your head was thick initially. You do remember coming home from classes at a different time than Tsukishima, how when you entered he’d often be reading over homework. You remembered how sometimes he would be in the shower and the scent of cheap green apple soap filled the living room connected to it. You remembered… You remembered holding his thin frame in your arms on a bridge, pulling him back from oncoming traffic. You remember how you both collapsed and how the cold autumn air stung your lungs. You remember wide golden eyes staring back at you, as tears slowly filled them, then his normally impartial voice breaking as he hiccuped a sob, “Why? Why did you have to be in Sendai right now?” You felt tears stinging your eyes and a lump form in your throat. You found yourself in distress of your new emotions. Maybe… maybe you can sleep this horrible feeling off. Maybe this fog in your head where you need to know how deep your relationship ran will lift once you get genuine sleep.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Finally, a knock on the door encouraged you to rouse from your sleeping state. And eloquently, you spoke your true feelings in your sleep-deprived state,  “No.” You hear the doorknob turn and the door open. There’s a lack of a greeting from your nurse nor a quick apology from your doctor for interrupting your sleep. Actually, if you’re gonna use logic, what nurse or doctor is gonna wake up their peacefully sleeping patient in recovery? Thought of it being your doctor or nurse practically evaporates once the intruder has a seat on your bed. They still haven’t spoken, so now you’re remembering what tricks of self-defense you learned online to give this person a proper ass-kicking for getting way too close. You crack your hazy eyes open to get a look at where they’re sitting and you stop dead in your thoughts as wary gold eyes peer down at you. Your eyes widen out of reflex and butterflies bloom from your stomach at seeing what you now remember is your roommate. “I knew you were awake,” He said, a wry smile on his face. His expression was betrayed by his concerned gaze, though, “Wow, you look like shit.” You don’t know entirely why past his comment feeling not as an insult, but almost as a compliment, but you smile a little, “I feel like it too.” His expression doesn’t change. He runs a large calloused hand through the tresses of your hair, though, as if to soothe you. The doctor walked in and apologized for interrupting the moment between the two of you, unsure if it was something serious. You told him it was nothing because that’s what it was to you.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

The car ride wasn’t filled with the snarky banter you had been expecting. Instead, there was plentiful comfortable silence as Tsukishima drove. You didn’t know whether to be grateful or not for the silence- you still felt quite feeble and needed way more bed rest before you could get ready to do anything for anyone. Despite the wholesome silence, you felt those round gold eyes focus on you occasionally. And even though it was comfortable, you felt a melancholy twinge in the atmosphere as he inspected you. “I know you’ll give me shit for this… but you look like you’ve lost weight. I uh…” He gripped the steering wheel harder. You glanced over at him. A shade of baby pink dusted itself across his cheekbones and nose as he focused on the road. “I’m worried about you.” Fuck, there go those butterflies again. Something in you pushed to help- to comfort- but the logical side of your brain brought you to a halt. You’d weighed it in your head a couple of times. You two act closer than just roommates, and it’s not entirely clear how or why you got up to this point… but you had a solid hunch you might be dating this guy. Maybe? You closed your eyes and rested your head on the car door as you thought. You remember how sand clung to your body and you could hear the roaring of the sea. How you watched Tsukishima focus on the waves to regulate his breathing. You vaguely remember your words breaking away from your throat and catching the salty sea air. “Why don’t we stay together?” His lanky body stiffened, then he looked at you with disbelief. “... you wouldn’t want that. I’m fucking annoying and mean.” Your eyes creased with familiarity at the line. “Yeah? So am I. We can butt heads until we balance each other out.” It looked like he wanted to cry, but his pride wouldn’t let him cry in front of you anymore today. “I won’t ask you why you tried to do what you did today. But I will ask if there’s anyone you can talk to in your life,” you reached a careful hand over to rub his back, “Kei, if there isn’t, let me be that person.” You felt how his breath shuddered. To save his pride, you looked to the ocean and watched its hypnotic movements. After a few deep, shaky inhales and exhales, he replied. “I don’t understand why you’re being nice to me. Why you didn’t let me die. I will probably come back to this point in my life several times and you’re trying to say you’ll put up with it?” There was some bite to his tone, he was trying so hard to put up walls when he had no will to do so at the moment. How long had he pushed others away from being close? If he was anything like you… it was since grade school. “Let me be your support for when you’re in pain,” You tried once more, “I’m stubborn as shit so I know I won’t give up on you.” “You’re not getting it, you fucking idiot. I’m always in pain, that’s just been life,” he snapped bitterly, glaring at you now.  “Then I guess I’ll be by your side forever.” You’d said it without thinking that day. It was like the ocean grew quieter with your words as if even Poseidon became interested in your proposition. You felt heat rise to your face at the implications of what you said. He stared at you with raised eyebrows and the slightest hint of a champagne pink hue on his face. He averted his eyes almost in a panic and watched the ocean again, suddenly very aware of his own expression. You carefully peered over at him again to see he’d only grown redder, now mirroring you. “You… don’t mean that,” He said as if it were a statement. “I do. You’re a good person inside, but you’re defensive and hurt. I’ve seen that from you in the past and I’ve learned more about you today. I want to be there for you as long as you’ll have me. Will you let me?”  He picked at the sand as if thinking it over for a moment. There was a brief pause as waves rolled over each other in front of both of you, the sound of their impact being the only thing to grace your ears. Finally, his cynical tone returned as he regained some form of his prior composure. “Okay, but I’ll kill you if you go back on it.”

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“Hey. (Y/n), we’re home,” Tsukishima gently shook your shoulder to rouse you from your sleep. You opened your eyes slowly and groaned out a swear. Tsukishima felt a hesitant smile creep up his face as he opted to just try and maneuver you into your shared home himself. He remembered how waking up was hard for you. Once he opened the passenger door you nearly fell out onto the pavement, only saved by your seatbelt and the giant himself. Your face fell awkwardly into his hip, and you grumbled at the interruption to your sleep. “You sleep like the fucking dead, christ,” he mused out loud and sat you up so it was safe to unbuckle your seatbelt. He urged you to get up more- it wasn’t that you were heavy, he just really wasn’t in the place to lift you at the moment and didn’t even know how to go about it. Regardless, he held you up by a shoulder and crouched to make it easier for you both to walk to the apartment. In some part of your sleep, you began to speak, “Kei.” He kept his gaze trained forward at the front door and struggled to grab his keys from his pocket, “Yes?” “Are we married?” Kei dropped his keys, then shot you a look of concern, “... No…?” He had to hold himself back from saying not yet, unsure of what you were getting to. He reached down to grab his keys and he focused back on the door. “Why are you asking?” He unlocked the door and threw it open, getting you both inside finally. He set you on your couch and sat on the floor in front of you. You looked at him suspiciously, now roused from your sleep. The only thing on your mind was that dream- it had to be a memory! You refused to understand it as anything but that. You prodded, “On the beach, I told you I’d be by your side forever.” He seemed to weigh your thoughts heavily in his mind, “... did you forget about us?” You didn’t expect what felt like cold water to hit your back so hard and so suddenly at his suggestion. He didn’t seem hurt at the thought, instead, he found himself occupied with your reaction. His hand reached out to rub the side of your face as you looked at him with wide, guilty eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Your sister told me this kind of thing might happen…” His calloused thumb traced over your lip, and he offered a smile the best he could, “I’ll try to explain it.” Tsukishima explained that what you remembered happened about four years ago and you had been living together ever since. He motioned to photos on the walls of the two of you and people who you could just hardly remember. When you rested your index finger on an individual who was much scrawnier than most of the people there, sitting on the bench with you and watching you speak with admiration, Tsukki put his hand over yours. “That’s your sister. She took most of these pictures, but she usually sits next to you when you have a space available.” You nodded and closed your eyes. You began to remember summers you spent with her in childhood and her yelling at you to do your homework when you bothered her as you got older. You smiled a bit. Once your eyes opened again, your finger traveled to possibly the tallest person in the room. He was big, but you remembered something warm and comfortable about that man… “That’s Kuroo. You both went to the same high school and you were in his friend group.” You both went on like that for a while until you’d cleared everyone in that picture. Once you did, you sat down to think over the new cluster of names you’d picked up. “... when you promised you’d be here with me forever, did you remember what I promised to you?” Kei asked as he sat next to you. “No… I just remember what happened on the beach up until you threatened to kill me if I took back my promise.” “Oh, right. I was going through that phase,” He seemed displeased with the comment. You found it almost funny but refrained from laughing for his sake. He continued, in a quieter tone, “I promised that if something happened to you, that I would always be here for you, too. That I’d get you back into shape.” His larger hand gently entwined with yours, “... so if you remember that promise and you’ll have me, I’d love to marry you once you get your memories back. … If you want to. I-” You cut him off with a hug to his side, trembling a bit as your emotions got the better of you. You smiled up at him. “I can’t promise I’ll be better fast, and I still feel like several trucks ran through me at once… but I’m happy,” you managed out. You didn’t know what your face looked like right about now and you didn’t have the nerve to look up into Kei’s glasses to check your reflection. He wrapped his arms around you in return, pressing the side of his face against your head. “Please, don’t give me an answer yet. You’re not in the right mental state. I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.” You ran your hands up and down his back. You weren’t exactly afraid of remembering things, but you were quite anxious for what tomorrow might bring for both of you. Despite that, you felt safe recovering in his arms, and you were sure you’d feel that way for a long time.

Have a link to the sexy sexy masterlist down here as well. Unless you’re done reading, then have a good day. But if you’re not there’s some fire stuff in that bad boy.

[dustysandwiches]

Family (TMVSTM)

Summary: Eric and Deborahbot 5000 feels like they didn't belong with the The Mitchells and run away to live their own lives

"Purple glasses woman, why did you saved me?"

"Oh come on, you boys are family now"

Family…?

It is such a complex word, too difficult to truly understand. For a robot create just to following orders, Eric did not understand it yet, though he did looked up the definition of it but despite that he plays along for the sake of his and his Pal Max brother

They're heading to the Silicon Valley, The night sky is filled with no stars but the green "fun pots" containing human to somewhere. It makes the sky lights up with green light. It is an unusual sight even for robots.

The Mitchells are really going to destroy Pal?.... If so, what will happen to the remaining robots? What if..they failed..?

The bot are lost in his memories and Net Work to find something he's looking for. It seems like he's in too deep in the system Until he feels someone shaking his shoulder part lighty

"Eric...Eric, are you there? Is your system too damaged?" A voice speaks in hushed tone

Eric turn his mechanical head to another Pal Max bot, Deborahbot 5000

His brother

"What wrong? you've been so still like you shut down. I'm…. worry"

Deborah grip Eric's shoulder part lighty. Robots isn't supposed to have feelings but they're the defective now anyway, so it's not surprising that he would express what he "feels"

The car stop at some abandoned gas station. Only Katie, Aaron and the loft of bread are sleeping in the car at the moment. Mother and The male Mitchells are inside the store for something. Eric finally answered and grip Deborah's hand back

"I'm okay, my system and outside damage is unchange at the moment. I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge your question earlier. Don't need to be worry"

"Okay… but tell me if anything is acting strange, will you? I don't want to lose you, brother...We're only defective robots here, if you're gone, what am I going to do?"

"I'll always have your back like you have mine, brother. We are going to survive, one way or another"

Eric tells what he thinks is logical to his robo brother. He let go of Deborah's hand and turned his head to Mother, who's making her way back to the car with her partner and tells her the safest route to Silicon Valley.

The car is running along the road at night. The robo brothers looking outside of the car, expanding their data about the human environment and hearing the conversation between Katie and Mother. They're talking about The male Mitchells, Rick of how he's just trying to make her happy.

Eric wants to feel this "happy" too and he wants Deborah to feel the same. Maybe it would feel really nice, like getting their system updated.

But how could they do that? They're about to went through most protected head quarter in the world right now and there's no guarantee that the plan would work but the show must go on

"Mom, what is that?"

"Oh my god!!"

The car suddenly stops, making their head jerks back, Eric and Deborah turn their heads to the front window. As the Mitchells get out of the car to stand in front of the giant building as tall as the sky.

"We're here...the Head Quarter" Eric said as he's getting out of the trunk

"Oh boy, I don't like this. Do you think we could get to the top without others noticing?" Deborah ask, stepping beside Eric in front of the car, behind the Mitchells

Slowly, Eric extends his hand to the side to his brother, knob and gears whirring while he processes his next word. Deborah immediately holds his hand and they're both looking up to the tower.

"No matter what happens, we're going to be alright"

__________________________________

The plan did not go well. The Mitchells got caught by a new robot, Pal invented. The sounds of the alarm is almost deafening, after the cable car has fell down and crashed. Deborah's vision is trying to adjust after he hits the ground. The first thing he see is the face of Pal Max bot with some face drawn on.

"Are you alright, brother?" Eric said as worrying as his robotic voice could spunds while kneeling next to him

Before he could answer, The black robot burst through and captured Mother and Rick. The Mitchells is being taken away and Deborah knows he need to help

Because they're his family now too

"Mitchells, we will help"

"Oh no no no, you won't. download new order"

Suddenly, like the virus creeping through their system. Making the robo brothers clutch their head like they're in pain, unable to take control of their body any longer.

New order appears : Capture the Mitchells

Deborah trying to break free one last time

No please I don't want to do this. Eric, Mother, Anyone…Can you hear me?..

"We're sorry, Mother"

Then, everything went blank

__________________________________

"Let's take a photo after we saved the world!" Linda said cheerily to Eric after handing or rather putting it in his hand

The battle is over the human won and the uprising is over. All of the Pal Max and the new robot has been shut down, Well almost every bot.

Eric and Deborahbot 5000 have broken through Pal's control and helped Rick Mitchells to put the video of the bread dog on, neutralizing the other robots. Now they're celebrating without them

They broke the code and helped this family save the world and now they can't even be in a photo? Eric thought but took the photo anyway. Maybe they're just too excited like humans always does.

The Mitchells tell the brothers, they can stay at home with them as a member of the family. The Mitchells welcome them, Linda teaches Deborah how to draw stuff like the Sun, the tree and other things. Rick shows them how to build a shelter from branches and leaves. Arron always talks to them about dinosaurs in his books and Katie sometimes asks them for ideas for her project. It was a good time.

Time passes and the robo brothers feels like they're more like a servant than a family. The Mitchells tells them to do things for them like chores, collecting the mails, mow the lawn and many things. Most of the time they haven't called them by their names or acknowledge them when they do something for the Mitchells. At first the brothers gladly do them, thinking it was a part of being a family but this time they had enough.

At night, when everyone is asleep. Eric and Deborah sit on a rooftop, looking into the sky. The moon is full today, shining bright along millions of sparkling stars. They come here every time they want to say something they went through each day, like updating each other. Today is different

"Today Rick called me Robot instead of my name again, I don't really think it's from force habits anymore" Deborah speaks in a quiet voice, mechanical head looks up to the shooting stars, then to his brother.

"But at least Mother let me help her cook dinner! It was really interesting, I learned how to peel a potato today, Look!"

He grabbed the potato peels besides him and held up to his brother. It's ragged, uneven and still has a big chunk of potato attached to it. Eric chuckles in a monotone like his robotic voice always does.

"That's great, Deborah. You know today Mother also let me do the laundry too! There was a lot of foam but I think I did well, Mother's face looks so surprised when I tell her I also put her bag in there too. She rushed past me so fast, I can't even see her"

"The purple bag? Oh yes, she loves that bag. Very thoughtful, Eric."

Then Deborah held out his hand, attempt to high-five Eric but they kept missing each other's hands, so they tapped their heads together gently. The glass tink softly as they did.

They looked up to the sky again, thinking about their lives with the Mitchells. Of how they've been treated lately, how they've been struggling to fit in the family and how they feel like they've been ignored.

Eric broke the silence between them and speaks in a quiet voice, hands gripping his knees tighter.

"Making our own order is great, we can do everything we want now"

Deborah nods " but why do I feel like we're doing The Mitchells order everyday"

"I understand if they haven't felt comfortable with us but they should have told us and we can be somewhere else. Not…. keeping us servants..like this.."

He looked back at Eric and asked in a hushed voice, if a robot can cry tears, his voice would be shaking like a human...but he's not human.

“I wonder if there’s any bots like us.. You know, the defectives. What are they up to? Where are they now? Do they stay with humans like us?”

“I don’t know, brother. I don’t know. I guess Pal wasn’t prepared for anything like this. She didn’t put any program for tracking other bots for us.”

“We should go find them. That way we can have our own robots family! We don’t have to listen to any humans anymore!

Deborah grab his brother shoulders part, turn his body to face him and said firmly

“You say it yourself, Eric. We take our own orders now. This is the time we can truly do that. Don’t you see? Other Mitchells except Mother didn’t treat us very well. They call us Robots rather than our names. They give orders. They got angry when we didn’t complete what they requested. They didn’t acknowledge us most of the time like we aren’t right there!”

His voice drop low and finally he hugs his brother, a gesture he saw human does to their family and the one they cared for

“We did everything together...but we’re just in the background every time..We aren’t supposed to feel emotions but I do...”

Slowly, Eric lifts his hand and hugs back tightly, mechanical gear and wires clicking as he thinks about his brother's words.

It’s true. They were in the background most of the time. They were more like a maid robot than a member of a family like the Mitchells said. Maybe his brother was right, this is not where they truly belong. They need to get away from humans. For good this time.

“You’re right. We should go”

Eric let go of his brother and stand up. Looking into the distant city, held out his hand for Deborah. They will make their own future with others, if there are any more of them left.

“Let’s go say our goodbye to the Mitchells. Though they may have treated us like this but they still help us from Pal.”

“Should we leave a letter or something?”

“If you want to, we can. Oh oh! We should put the glitter on!”

Together, they jump down from the rooftops and go inside the house. Writing a goodbye letter for the Mitchells, telling them they appreciated everything they did but they want to live their own lives somewhere else without anyone giving them orders

After sometime, they put the letter down at the dinner table with a flower Eric collected from the neighbor's house, The Poseys.

Now, the brothers stand in front of the house. Looking back one last time before leaving.

"Let's go, brother" Eric said.

_________________________________________

The sounds of the jet under their feet break the silence of the night. They jump and fly into the sky, green trails from the jet painting the night sky. They fly and fly further away from the house. Until the dawn came, they stopped at some abandoned cabin in the woods. It appears there's nobody living here for a long time.

"This place is in a good condition and I believe there's no human living here." Deborah said, feeling satisfied

"Yes, but we should look around just in case. Could you check around the cabin? I'll check inside." Eric asked while looking around and scanning the cabin with the camera on the top right of his head.

Deborah nods and goes out the door to check for anything or anyone. Leaving only Eric inside.

Eric wanders into the halls, scanning every room. The cabin is dusty and there were some traces of wild animals making a nest and shelter. Some kind of nuts and leaves were scattered all over the floor.Everything seems normal for an abandoned human cabin, until he spotted muddy footprints. It’s still wet, this only means one thing. There’s someone here.

The sound of a metal clanking from further down the cabin. It appears the sounds came from the kitchen. Eric changes one of his hand to the plasma beam shooter, being on guard and slowly walking to the origin of the sound.

[hard-to-be-the-bard]

Thomas Shelby X Modern!Reader

I feel like everyone really likes my modern readers haha.

I took this as, a reader who makes a lot of references, and dresses different, but is also sensitive to the fact he’s been in the war

Also i chose the black country museum cause it’s where part of peaky blinders is filmed and it’s actually an open museum, it’s pretty cool, i’d recommend visiting if any of y’all are in england

Also wasn’t asked for in the request but I liked the idea of the reader having a PhD in medicine

Part 2 anyone?

You didn’t know quite how you’d gotten there.

After all, one moment you’d been wandering through the Black Country Museum, taking pictures and talking about how’d it had been used for filming when another second someone had come crashing into you, knocking you to the floor

They reached down to pick you up quickly, an apology falling from their lips, and you heard the Birmingham accent

“It’s no problem, really, I wasn’t looking where I was going” And you looked up, pausing as your eyes met that of Cillian Murphy, and you paused slightly, seeing he was in costume, and when you looked around, worrying you’d stumbled into set, you realised it was suddenly busier than before.

“Are you alright?” He asks, before noticing your clothing, frowning at the way you were dressed.

You turned back to him, taking in a deep breath, nodding slightly

“Yes, yes of course, sorry” You stutter, taking out your phone, when you noticed you had no signal, or WIFI, which was strange considering there was 4G before

The man stared down at the device

“What’s that?” He asked, and you looked up at him frowning

“What this?” You asked, and then you took a step back

“Oh shit” You said, and he looked taken aback, and you turned around

“Oh shit oh no this isn’t good” You mumbled to yourself, realising just what had happened

“Miss, are you sure you’re alright?” He asks, and you spin around

“You’re Thomas Shelby” You mutter, and he pauses.

“Yes, I am, do, do I know you?” He asks, but knowing he would of remembered a face like yours

 “I uh, no not exactly” You say, and he looks even more confused, before placing a hand on your shoulder

“Look, you, might of bumped your head when you fell, look my aunt can come take a look at ya, make sure you’re alright?” He asks, and you nod

“Uh yeah, maybe I hit my head” You mutter, and he beckons for you to follow, and shortly you’re at his house, he opens the door, letting you enter and you mumble a thanks

“Polly! Got a girl ‘ere!” He shouts, and a woman’s voice called back

“I don’t care who yer bringin’ to bed Tommy!” She shouts, and he almost falters

“She hit her head” He calls, and a woman appears in the doorway, but you know who it is.

“Well what did ya do to her Tommy?” She asks, and he explains he’d ran into you and she demands you sit down, glancing at your clothes while giving Thomas a look which he nods at, as they both enter the kitchen, and you know they’re discussing you

She soon comes out hold a glass of water, handing it to you

“Here dear, Thomas is never aware of his surroundings, now let’s take a look at that head” She says, and you suddenly blurt out

“I’m from the future” You say, and they both pause

“Well dear, I think you definitely hit your head” She confirms and you shake your head

“I’m serious I- I’m from 2020″ You say, and they watch you

“It’s 1919″ Thomas says watching you, and you nod

“Yes I know it is for you, I-” You say, how are you going to get them to believe them and then you remembered.

“The guns” You splutter out, and Thomas freezes, shooting Polly a look, and he stares at you

“How’d you fuckin’ know about that” He demands, and you told him

“I said, I’m from the future, I know what’s happened and is gonna happen” You say

“Who told you about the guns, who are you working for?” He asks, and you know he doesn’t believe you

“You were going to use them as leverage, but you made a deal with Campbell, and- and your sister, Ada, she’s pregnant, with the communist, Freddie” You say, and Polly freezes, looking at Thomas

“She couldn’t of known that Tommy” She says, and Thomas sits down

“So, you’re from the future” He says, and you nod

“Well then, this is gonna be fucking weird” He says

You spent the rest of the day telling them some basics of what happens in the future, brushing lightly over the subject of WWII, and you can see Tommy tense

“Another one?” He asks, and you nod lightly

“It’s worse this time” You whisper, and he leans back, a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

You mention the virus outbreak, telling him about new technology, and things that have changed.

Polly asked about your clothes, and you told her women rarely wear dresses 24/7 and she almost looks surprised when you tell her any woman could vote, regardless of whether they were under 30, like was required in the recently passed 1918 law, as long as you were over 18 anyone was allowed

And not only that, women were allowed men’s jobs.

“Education is free, until 18, then you can go to university” You say, and Thomas looks at you

“You go to university?” He asked, and you nodded

“I’m a doctor” You say, and they both look surprised.

“Dr. y/n l/n” You informed them, and he nodded

“Well, I take it you don’t have anywhere to go?” He asked, and you shook your head as he looked at Polly

“She could be useful, she’s smart too” Polly said, and Thomas nods, before turning to you

“You can stay here” He says, and you let out a sigh of relief, thanking him, and he looked at your clothes

“Ya, can’t wear that, nor can you go round talking about all this future stuff, unles you wanna get locked up, and- men are gonna treat you rude, they don’t know about all this equality stuff” He says, as an afterthought and you nod

“No smart mouthing, no modern clothes, no future talk, standard fit in woman” You say, and he almost looks embarrassed to nod.

“Perfect” Polly says, as she beckons

“Come on dear, lets get you some clothes, don’t worry you can keep those, I should have a dress that’ll fit you” She says, as you get dragged to her room

It’s been a few weeks since you’d arrived. And with no idea of how you can get back, Thomas had allowed you to help with the betting.

After all, you were smart, you could easily, and do maths well.

Polly had a feeling he’d grown soft on you. She could see it in the way he looked at you, protective when a man would comment on your features. And quick to be by your side if you felt uncomfortable

It was common knowledge now that you were Thomas’ property

The comments lessening, men flirting had stopped, and instead gave you nods of the head as you passed.

You were practically part of the family. Polly loved you, so did Ada, making you tell her everything about the future, telling her where’d you’d travelled too as Thomas listened from a chair, pretending to be uninterested. When instead he was watching the way the firelight framed your face as you laughed

He still had nightmares

And one night it was bad.

You’d heard it, and you didn’t want to listen to it. So you’d crept out of bed, pushing open the door to his room, kneeling by the bed as you shook him awake gently

And he shot forward, sweat dripping from his forehead as his eyes went wide, adjusting in the dark until they landed on you

“What are you-” He asked, as you pressed a hand on his 

“You were having a nightmare” You whispered, and he apologised

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything” You say, and he shrugged.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep” He said, and you shook your head before hesitating.

“You know... Thomas, sleeping next to some can produce oxytocin, which reduces stress.... And nightmares” You suggest, and wait for his reaction, he looks at you, before shuffling to the side

“If you wanted to get in bed with me you just had to ask” He whispered, trying to make light of the situation as you climbed into his bed, laughing softly

Your head lays on the pillow as he watches you

“You can go to sleep” You say, and he hesitates, sighing as a hand reaches out, pulling at your waist, surprising you as he pulls you into his chest, resting a chin on your head

“I know” He whispers

You fall asleep in his arms, and when he wakes up he smiles at you

“I didn’t have another nightmare”

[stars-trash-18]

Paz Vizla’s

It was soft hours while I listened to a new playlist and all I could think of was this situation. I try to keep my readers as badass as possible while trying to create a connection to the audience, and I realize I may lose that connection since reader is a mother. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did because I sobbed like a baby proof reading this.

TW: Pregnancy mentions, injury mentions, blood, angst

You cursed the day you told Din he could use your home as a safehouse after the third time he came to you for healing .You curse the day Din Djarin led that giant blue hunk of metal to your doorstep, said hunk of metal charming as could be with the amount of blood he had lost. But none of that could be changed now, especially as you trudged through the muggy forest towards the coordinates DIn had given you, “in case anyone found out you had been harboring mandalorians,”. Your body burned as you marched further, not having recovered from the ordeal you experienced two months ago, the tiny bundle wrapped in the cloth around your chest holding to that testament. 

   As you continued to hike the hidden path you thought back to how it all started. First with Din showing up sicker than sin with the virus native to your planet, not knowing that he needed his vaccines renewed. Then his visits afterwards between bounties, bringing you supplies or making repairs to your home as repayment for your healing and quartering, until eventually you both became like siblings to one another. Until two years ago when he brought Paz to your door.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of blasters being fired up and pointed at you, you quickly wrapped your arm around the infant on your chest hoping to shield her a little as the armorer stepped forward. You were surprised to see her here from what recollections of what Paz had told you she rarely left the forge, much less to come see a possible threat since that was left to the hunters. 

“What brought you here Aruetii, how did you find us?” she questioned her voice carrying an intensity you knew meant she would not hesitate to protect her own. You opened your mouth to speak, but the ash that coated your vocal cords only caused you to cough so violently that you fell to your knees trying to regain your breath, the Armorer took notice how ragged you looked, your clothes covered in tears and mud with the wrap around you being the only clean thing. She physically tensed at the sight of the infant strapped to you before quickly offering a hand to grasp as she barked orders in Mando’a, a hunter taking the pack from you back as they shuffled you towards the covert. Making the decision that you were no threat in your condition.

----------------2 days later--------------------------

For two days you faded in and out of sleep as the tribe’s doctor tended to you, only waking for brief moments to nurse your daughter and ensure she was with you. When you were finally able to speak you requested only the Armorer to be in the room as you nursed your daughter again, her appetite as big as her father’s, your nerves still slightly frayed from your journey.

As the Armorer entered your room you presented her the mythosaur that had been tied to your daughter's swaddle. The Armorer knew whose it was the moment she turned it around to see the emblem of Clan Vizsla emblazoned on the back and you could see her mind run faster than light speed trying to figure out the story.

 “Rest assured Paz never broke his creed, what happened between us was only once a year ago and we took precautions,” you soothed the woman as she relaxed into a chair. You covered yourself as your daughter was content to just nuzzle into you for a post-feeding nap, “he left after that night and left that behind on accident and I never saw him afterwards so he doesn’t know about her,” you continued before the Armorer rose a hand to silence you.

“How did you find us,” she demanded this time, her thumb rubbing the necklace in her hand as she glared beneath her helmet at you. She knew you weren’t a threat, but she needed answers in case anyone followed you.

You sighed before answering, “Din gave me the coordinates after he took out a few bounty hunters sniffing around my home, I had an agreement to harbor him and anyone he brought with him in my home as a safehouse,” this seemed to ease the woman’s nerves as she leaned towards you to rest the necklace on your daughters blankets. You nodded your head at her before continuing, “They came in the middle of night two weeks ago, they tried to take me but I managed to fight them off long enough to set my home on fire and slipped into my shuttle with my daughter, when we made it here I only had enough fuel to reach the port and had to walk the rest of the way here, I ran out of my provisions two days before you finally found me,” A tear slipped down your face before looking down at the little jewel in your arms, running a finger over the nose you know didn’t come from you. 

The Armorer went to inquire more before the familiar thundering boots reached your door as it flew open, you jerked your head up and pulled your daughter further into your chest as she let out a startled wail. You quickly shushed her as your heart rate spiked, noticing the familiar blue of the armor in your door, his helmet locked onto the crying baby in your arms, his body rigid. 

 “Paz, good to know you’re not dead,” you quipped as you rocked and shushed your daughter. He had no obligations to you, but it hurt when you woke up to him gone without a trace after he had been flirting with you for months, only to never show up again and leaving you no way to inform him of your condition the following month. The Armorer took her leave after those words, sensing that there were things to sort out between you, and when she passed Paz she stared him down for his stupidity.

The room stayed silent for a moment before Paz lumbered over to your bedside, “are they mine, mesh’la?” he softly inquired, his fingers twitched in his gloves wanting to reach forward and run a finger over the infant’s small face. You softened a little watching the giant become a puddle, but steeled yourself for the answer.

“If you must know she is your’s,” you emphasized the last bit as you adjusted yourself in the bed, pulling the blanket that swaddled her to loosen it to allow some air flow. 

A loud sigh of relief left Paz as he pulled a chair to sink into by your bed,his elbows resting on his knees with his helmeted head in his hands. He made a pained groan as he looked to you, “If I knew you were pregnant…” he began before you swiftly cut him off

“You would’ve what Paz, stayed instead of abandoning me like I was some whore from a brothel, I don’t think so,” you spat with the venom that had built in you from that night, because that’s how you felt. Like a prostitute from a brothel, because once he had his way with you he threw you aside to never think of you again. You were too much of a badass to let some man throw you aside, you fought in a war and gave birth without an epidural for star's sake. That seemed to visibly shake Paz as he leaned over you to ensure he had your attention.

“Mesh’la never say that about yourself I never thought of you that way, I woke up to you in my arms and felt the most at peace I had ever felt in a long time, I knew if I didn’t leave then I would’ve stayed and broke my creed for you,” he rasped, his voice cracking in the vocoder to let you know that he started to cry, “I thought about taking my helmet off for you so many times but I had an obligation here to my tribe, If I left that would mean less supplies coming in and less security, the foundlings have went through too much for me to abandon them,” he continued as his body shook with unshed tears.

He twisted the blanket in your lap to try and calm himself before you wrapped yours around his much larger hand. You rested his hand on the side of your face as you looked at him, tears building up as relief flooded you at his confession, ‘Paz if you had only told me I would have understood, but you left and never came back,” you choked out as you wiped the tears from you face to look down at your daughter, who was sleeping peacefully in your arms. “I hoped everyday that you would come back and it wasn’t until I found out about her that I realized I had to stop hoping and move on for my child’s sake,” you broke as more tears took over. 

Paz wiped the tears from your eyes before resting his forehead against yours, “I wanted to return to you everyday Cyare, and I regretted never returning everyday and will forever regret not being there to protect you and my...our… your ade,” you said, stumbling over how to refer to your daughter.

 You rested your forehead on his for a moment before pulling your daughter away from you and forcing Paz to hold her. He held her like he held babies a thousand times before, but with the shakiness of a new father as he looked to you to ensure you were fine with it. You smiled at the sight wanting a holo of this moment before staring at him with intensity to ensure he got your message, “Paz she’s our daughter, I would never take that from you and never feel guilty for the past, you can do what’s right in the present and future,” you explained watching as he let out a large sigh of relief before he relaxed with his daughter to his chestplate.

“We have so much to work through Cyare, we have wounds to heal, but if you would have me I would love to have you stay here with the tribe, move in with me and raise our little warrior until we’re both ready,” he said hesitantly, reaching a hand out to take yours.

You sucked a breath in at the offer before shaking your head, “Paz i’m not a mandalorian, I don’t think they would appreciate me being here,” you said not turning him down but not taking his offer either. At that Paz took the Mythosaur necklace from the wrap and set it into your hand as he squeezed your fingers around it.

“Under our customs you’re the mother of a mandalorian, and you carry the mythosaur necklace of one, you may not have taken an oath, but the moment I left you this necklace you became one as an extension of me,” he vowed as he looked to you. So he didn’t leave it by accident.

“Then yes, I’ll stay with you Paz for as long as you’ll have us,” you breathed as you leaned over and rested a kiss onto his knuckles as you have done countless times before. His chuckle rumbled through his chest causing the sleeping babe to wake again and make a noise from being woken up again.

“It’s alright Dinui’ika I’m here now and I’ll never let anyone harm a hair on your head so long as I breathe,” he soothed the babe as he gently bounced her in his arms, in that moment you had forgotten to give him her name.

“Paz her name is Atria,” you said hesitantly as you ran a finger through her little wisps of hair. you had asked about the names engraved on the inside of his armor one day after he came to you to be patched after one of his more difficult bounties, he had stiffened before telling you that they were the name of his parents and left it at that. When you had been pregnant you couldn’t figure out a name for your unborn child, but the moment you held her in your arms his mother’s name came to your mind and you couldn’t picture anything else to name your little star, a small part of you wanting to have some connection to Paz so that she would know something about her father. Now you only hoped it was the right thing to have done, knowing how Paz was deeply troubled by his parents death.

He let out a choked sob before resting the forehead of his helmet against Atria’s forehead, “it’s perfect Cyare, just like you and just like her,” He said as he squeezed your hand, “you’re the strongest woman that I’ve ever met for putting up with me, I can’t think of anyone else to let use my mother’s name, let alone carry my child and here you are giving me my world” he praised. You knew in that moment you would be alright, you and Paz had things to work out but you knew in time that things would flourish between you and that your daughter will grow up to the most loved child in the world.

Tags: (thought ya’ll might like this one) @soradragon @remmyswritings

[thebibliosphere]

Allow me to start by saying, I’m not mad at anyone for not realizing this and I’m not criticizing you for not thinking about it (because why would you? this is not your norm), but I feel like a lot of people not understanding why I can’t do things like home physical therapy visits at the moment, don’t truly understand what it means to be dangerously immunocompromised during a time of pandemic, and just how strict self-isolation measures have to be for some of us, and the level of isolation we live with year-round because of our illnesses.

I am a sick person, this is news to exactly no one unless you are very very new to my blog, in which case, hi sorry the funny post you followed me for is tied to this train wreck. I live most of my life in isolation because of my illnesses, and I’ve had over five near-death experiences in as many years, but last year I nearly lost the fight for good. I have spent the entire last year recovering, slowly regaining strength, slowly managing to stabilize and regain some small quality of life. Slowly, so very slowly, because the toll of nearly dying is not something you bounce back from quickly, physically or mentally. 

That alone would make me a high-risk patient for something like COVID-19, but on top of that, I also have a condition (MCAS) where my body overreacts to infections to such a point where my own immune response can send me into anaphylaxis, among other things. You know that whole “cytokine storm” everyone’s talking so much about but hardly seems to understand but is absolutely scared shitless of? My body does that all by itself. *jazz hands of despair*

So just to recap: as an immunocompromised individual, I am more likely to get the virus, but also because of my MCAS, I’m more likely to die from complications because my immune system is a sack of rabid weasels fighting in a trenchcoat. This does not even include the complications from a condition like EDS, where I am more prone to lung collapse and heart valve prolapses if I get something like COVID-19 or y’know, flu. (Please get your yearly flu shots and practice good hand washing protocol year-round regardless of global pandemic status, please I am begging you.)

This is why several weeks before the pandemic was officially declared, my health care team decided “yea, you should probably stop going outside unless it’s an emergency” and canceled all my nonvital care, which regrettably includes all the things I do to manage my pain i.e. weekly massage and physical therapy. The risk was just deemed too high. 

The week pandemic was declared, the message turned into “everyone you live with either needs to self isolate with you or leave, don’t interact with anyone unless it’s a medical emergency or part of your vital care”, vital being “a thing which keeps you alive”. And just to give you an idea of how strict this measure is: the testing for the condition which sends me into random anaphylaxis has been indefinitely postponed and declared an elective. *despairing jazz hands intensifies*

So no, I can’t have home care for physical therapy right now, because no one apart from my husband is allowed in or out of our house. I am not just being stubborn or dramatic. I am not shooting down your seemingly sensible suggestions because I am being contrary and difficult like someone implied in my inbox (and okay yea I am mad at that one person and they can fuck off). I am trying to protect myself as best I can because I’m acutely aware that others won’t. I’m aware of all the people complaining and breaking self-isolation rules because they’re bored. I’m aware of all the people who keep saying things like “but we need to get the economy going”. I am aware that for many people, I am an acceptable statistic. I am aware my life is more than likely forfeit if I get sick and it’s a choice between me and someone else. I’m aware, I’m so horribly aware all the time and on top of that I’m in so much pain sometimes all I want to do is lay down and cry, Sometimes it’s all I can do.

And sometimes I just want to bitch about it without people trying to offer “obvious” solutions, who don’t know the full scope and reality of what this life is like. And I would appreciate if people respected my knowledge of myself enough to listen to me when I say something isn’t an emergency and not imply I’m not taking care of myself, because friend, you have got no God damn idea the lengths I go to to stay alive every day. And I’m not the only one living in this perpetual nightmare day in day out, regardless of pandemic. I’m just the one with a platform big enough to be heard.

Please, be kinder, and think before you offer what seems like an “obvious” solution. If it’s obvious and we’re not doing it, there’s an obvious answer as to why. You don’t need to know that answer in order to know it’s valid. You just need to respect that it exists. 

I know the desire to help is there, and I applaud that desire, but ask yourself, is the person asking for help? Have they requested feedback? If yes, respond accordingly. If not, offer sympathy and kind words instead. If you’re not sure here’s a magic phrase that will serve you well for most situations like this:

“Do you want help or do you need to just vent and let it out? I’m here either way.”

[itsmespicaa]

Regrets

Summary: A deeper look into Cassandra Cain's life after the Anti-Life virus struck the whole Universe and her interactions with her family.

(Alternatively: Cass gets the hugs she deserves in DCeased)

Note: The art I drew for this fic is here.

Read this on AO3

There was no time to lose.

There was still so much...life in this building. So much to protect. Cassandra is beyond glad they‘ve all decided to stay—these children...are not like her. Or Jason. Or even Gordon-

"Jim," he sighed, wistful and...sad. Eyes briefly lost in what was no doubt a shrapnel of memory that cuts and pricks deep into your chest, pushed aside to focus on the present—to survive—no matter how painful it digs into your soul. She understood. He glanced at her and smiled. "Jim’s fine, Cass. We’re all family, right?”

These children needed them, and...perhaps a part of her needed them too. They all needed each other now, one way or another.

Nights are...the worst.

Sleep has never come naturally for her, even before...everything. Before their whole world fell apart. She was not unfamiliar with loss, but this- there was no time to mourn or- or even breathe. No time to look back and realize just how much was taken from them.

Survive. Move forward. Survive, kill, survive. Keep each other safe.

Her mantra—the only thing that mattered now.

She did not allow herself to think of Barbara‘s kind eyes, or the last time she heard Dick laughing in the manor. She did not think of the fistbump she shared with Tim on their last patrol together.

She did not allow herself to think about Bruce, of the comforting weight on her shoulder after another successful night a few days ago. An easy night—quick and simple. So...different from the nights now that her chest ached and ached-

Nor did she allow herself to think about Stephanie, who wasn't even supposed to be in Gotham now. Her mother too...surely...?

(But Batman was supposed to be invincible, and yet, and yet—)

No. No time to look back. No time for hope or questions with no answers.

Nights are the worst.

Beyond the stillness of the night, beyond the quiet of the sleeping children...the monsters lurk and scream. She could hear them, clear as day—sleep did not come to them...so nor would she.

Instead, she sat in a corner—not too close that she could be spotted instantly, but close enough to aide should anything happen—silent and watchful over the children now in her care. It soothed her, seeing them so peaceful. Their innocence not yet fully stolen from them.

A night without one of them waking up from a nightmare was all that she asked for.

"Cass."

She did not turn to the voice. As she waited, her brother finally came to sit beside her, knees drawn up to his chest as if to mimic her.

On a better day, she would‘ve smiled at this.

She didn't smile.

"You really should rest," murmured Jason after a while. "I‘ll watch over them tonight. We need to be in tip top condition if we plan on protecting them."

Facing him, face impassive, she signed: You? Sleep?

A huff, eyes dim. "Touché."

They sat there, side by side, watching the faces of those more vulnerable than them for a long time, the noise from beyond the walls momentarily cut out as her focus zeroed in on the children.

"I buried them," said Jason suddenly, breaking the fragile peace. Cass does not stop, doesn‘t have to ask who he meant.

"I should‘ve told you sooner, but with everything going on..."

Words were never her allies, and they weren't one now. Cass swallowed the lump growing in her throat, along with whatever words she was about to say.

I know, she touched her cheeks twice instead, trusting in her brother to see it.

Jason definitely noticed, because the next moment he was slowly wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. Like a puppet cut loose from its string, Cass melted into his side, finally allowing herself a small moment to just-

Mourn.

She and Jason were never as close as her and Tim, but they understood one another, possibly better than most in the family. They would spent rare moments reading together in the manor‘s library, comfortably co-existing. Now-

No more words were spent that night, the two of them silently supporting each other as they accept their new reality. She did not move to wipe the few drops of tears tracking down her cheeks, and Jason said nothing.

How cruel is it that the ones to survive are the people who had touched death before?

...Damian? Alfred? Her hand moved as she looked at him, mouth pressed in a thin line. The only ones left. And their youngest sibling. The expression that reflected back at her was just as grim, but the lines on his face were noticeably lighter, and Cass can tell from the loose grip on her shoulder—from the set of his jaw that it was not a bad news.

"Both are still alive in Metropolis last I checked yesterday," he said, fingers picking at a loose strand on his jacket—nervous, "and hopefully they’re with other heroes too. I...try not to check too often. Gotta save the energy of the car, y‘know?"

And I‘m scared to know, was unspoken, but she heard it. Saw the fear in his creases, the anxiety in his sunken eyes.

The regret.

Cassandra understood. There were regrets she would have to live with now too.

She nodded, looking back at the children again. A sense of tranquility finally settling in her chest, the anguish she felt not completely extinguished...but there was only so much she could bear at a time. These children are her priorities now, her new family, and...

Little brother, she tugged and signed at Jason before resting a hand on his back. "Keep you safe," she emphasized each words, tugging on his red hoodie—now splattered in different shades of red.

That...startled a laugh out of him. A small quirk of lips, but Cass saw it as what it is and beamed too, subdued as it was.

"I don‘t know about me being the younger brother," he chuckled softly, "but I'm glad I have a kick-ass sister like you. I have your back too, Cass. Always."

She would not lose any more of her family if she could help it. New or old.

Even if she had to sacrifice herself.

Her mother. She was-

Cassandra watched as the children exit the bus and can’t help the bittersweet smile tugging the edge of her lips.

She was a hero.

In the very end, she died a hero. Protecting the life of innocents and...her family.

Her heart felt too heavy to maintain it however, and after making sure all the surviving children are accounted for and comfortably settled in their new home, she wandered over to the newly chiseled statue the Green Guardian—Ivy had bestowed upon them as a token of respect. A gift.

She stood before the likeness of her mother, her last moments playing over her mind like a broken cassette.

Her eyes burned and she blinked, rapidly.

"Hey."

The white-haired lady. Moved with quiet grace almost as good as her. Almost.

She nodded back in lieu of a reply.

"Complicated parent issues?"

"...Yes."

A sigh. "Same."

They stood there, side by side, both lost in thought as they gazed upon the legacy their parents have left.

"Despite everything..." whispered Rose, "We still love and miss them, don‘t we?"

"She was...not a good mother," began Cass, trying to find the right words to describe the turmoil of emotions warring within her. "But she loved me. And I...loved her. In the end...that‘s all that matters."

A curt nod. "I get it. Really.

"I know loss is inevitable now," continued Rose, hand seemingly wanting to reach out before pulling back abruptly, "but...I‘m sorry you had to see that yourself. I‘m here if you want to uh- talk and all that. Or even just my company."

Cass was...touched. It was a sweet gesture, considering they haven‘t had much time to get to know each other before arriving here.

Smiling quietly at her, she pointed at herself and signed: Conversation. Not good. Rose‘ sign language skill isn‘t on par with hers or Jason, but it’s enough.

She smiled back, laughter in her voice: "So we won‘t have to speak. I can be a good listener when I need to be."

At that moment, Cass decided she liked this girl. Suddenly grateful to have her here—that her brother had her too.

It was probably that thought that prompted her to get her attention, her hands moving quickly: You. Jason. Happy?

Surprisingly, that brought on a small blush on Rose‘s already rosy cheeks, and Cass‘ smile widened.

"We- haven‘t made it official or anything but...yeah. Yeah, I think we are." Rubbing the back of her neck, bashful eyes cast downwards in a rare show of vulnerability, she reminded her so much of Stephanie that she had to bite down her lips to keep it from wobbling.

Instead she gave her the warmest grin she could muster, focusing on the person in front of her now. "Good," she said, before pulling her in for an earnest hug.

For a while Rose just stood there, letting Cass do all the work—but then she grasped her back just as tightly, finally realizing that the hug was for Cass herself as much as it is for her.

They both lost their parent, now truly orphans like everyone else, and Cassandra‘s...grateful she wasn‘t alone for this.

"I see you two are bonding already," came a familiar voice.

Lo and behold, Jason appeared from behind them with a smirk. He and Rose exchanged a look and before he even turned to her, Cass already knew what he was about to do.

She returned her brother‘s embrace, accepting it for what it was. I‘m sorry, his body screamed—sad, sad, sad. Sad for...her.

Standing toe to toe, he dwarfed her in comparison, and Cass was all of a sudden struck with the memory of the last time she hugged their father (Bruce, not Cain. Never Cain.) A sharp twinge of pain swiped at her chest, a simple wish that...she could‘ve hugged her mother too.

Physical affection did not come easy to Jason either, but Cass knew he was tired of regretting, tired of letting people go when everything you loved could be taken from you at any moment and...she felt the same.

Regrets seem to be the only constant in their life now.

After pulling away with a playful shove, she pointed at Jason then Rose, tapping her two 'K' hands together. Take care of her. She glared pointedly at Jason for a few seconds before her face broke into a smirk.

A cheer of laughter erupted from the three of them at Jason‘s indignant 'Of course!' sign.

It was definitely the highlight of her day.

---

Weeks later, when night fell and the world ran a little slower, Cassandra watched over them all as she always had.

Her small family is safe now—her brother and sister-in-law somewhere outside of prying eyes but still near enough for her to reach (Jason had reassured her himself). The marriage itself was nothing as fancy as the movies she watched with Tim and Steph had shown, but it was...festive. Magical. Beautiful. Ivy had gifted them with beautiful garlands and flower chains that grew from the earth, vibrant roses uncurling at every corner to celebrate their union—a symbol of hope that could flourish amidst the dreariness of their reality.

The sheer joy she felt and saw from the two newlyweds was enough to assuage her constant state of alertness. She kissed both of their cheeks and hugged them close, lips pulled wide on the happiest moment she had felt in a very long time, a comfortable warmth curling in her chest. Their happiness was infectious.

Yet now—

"You should rest, kid."

She wasn‘t the only one restless.

"...Jim. Rough...night?"

A puff of cigarette. "Something like that."

Silence reigned over the living garden, the stars above brighter than it had ever been.

"You were close with my daughter?" asked the Commissioner all of a sudden.

"...Yes." Her reply was careful—while time had done its magic, a balm to gaping wounds on the soul, their memories of Barbara were still fresh on both of their minds. It still...hurt, and no doubt even more so for him. "She was my...mentor. She was like...like a..." Mother, she did not say. Before Shiva, before Bruce truly stepped into his role as a father.

But Jim picked it up nonetheless, nodding to himself. "Good. That‘s- really good."

For once, she genuinely wondered what the aim of their conversation was.

"We might not be close, Cassandra," he watched the puff of smoke that formed around him, casual and honest, "but you‘re Batman‘s daughter, and my daughter...knowing her, she undoubtedly loved you too like one. So that's more than enough to make you family."

Nodding, already connecting those particular dots together, she tilted her head. And?

"And I would do anything to keep my family safe," he turned to her, pain in his eyes reflected in her own. "But you understand that more than anyone else, don‘t you?"

Cass looked away, his intention finally dawning upon her.

"I- don‘t want to lose them too," she whispered to no one, her fear carried over in the silence of the night, the huge vines and trees providing a shelter from the horrific wailing of the monsters lurking just outside the garden walls.

They‘re the only ones I have left, she did not say.

Instead of a reply, Jim squeezed her shoulder in solidarity.

Cass is eternally grateful he did not try to console her with empty words.

"SHAZAM!"

Electricity and raw, undiluted power surged through her, tingling in her veins with the telltale sign of ancient magic.

Fury. White, hot blistering fury.

She did not waste a blink at the corpse now lying beneath her, eyes already roaming to find Jason who- no.

No.

Rose knelt beside him, sobs rocking her frame, every inch of her body screaming pure sorrow and Cassandra reached out, denial on the tip of her tongue- before a hand stopped her.

Damian.

Now an adult, creases wrinkling his forehead so much like his father. He shook his head, still gripping her arm and unwilling to let go. Cass could push him away despite his strength, especially with her newfound powers, but—but she didn‘t.

Cassandra Cain, blood daughter of Lady Shiva and David Cain, adoptive daughter of the Batman, fell to her knees and hung her head in her palms, holding back the agony clawing at her inside out. Hollow, hollow, empty.

No.

She promised-

What good was all this power if she couldn‘t even save her own family?

No tears came forth despite the stabbing wound in her chest, an ugly rage building up in the back of her throat, threatening to lash out with the pulsing energy in her fingers.

"Cass," Damian‘s soft plea snapped her out of her haze of red and self-destruction, and she finally looked at him, truly looked at him—his locked jaws, the tremble masking his own shock and anger, and- she blinked, vision clearing. Stopped.

Nothing could bring him back. Not her anger, nor revenge.

She stood up to her full height, Damian on her elbow, and locked eyes with Constantine standing right across from them, hoping the daggers she sent him from her gaze alone is enough to convey the amount of hatred she felt at that moment and floated over to Rose, her cape billowing behind her.

Someone else needed her now—move now, mourn later. Rinse and repeat.

---

The last remnants of warmth lingered in Jason‘s crushed body as she gingerly carried him out of the pocket dimension, and Cass felt her resolve weakening for a brief second, her powers slipping and she- nearly dropped to the ground. No one noticed, everyone lost in their own thoughts at what had transpired in so little time.

Her grip tightened.

Flying over to an area she knew was designated for the ones who...passed, she laid him down as gently as she could, brushing away a strand of hair on his forehead with light fingers, despite how heavy it felt to lift them. Wiped away the blood on his face with care, her movements mechanical like the time she had to dress a corpse of a dead boy they had failed to save.

Then she waited.

And waited.

Jason wouldn‘t want to be by himself. All alone.

She sat there, waiting.

When Rose finally dropped noiselessly beside her, Cass stood up and walked away, giving them the privacy they deserved. Ignored the silent tears wrecking the younger woman, and the instinctive need to console and support her.

Let her grieve, she reminded herself.

Her youngest brother stood behind a large boulder just outside the area, gaze pointedly directed at the ground.

"Cassandra."

She stopped right by him, shoulder to shoulder, facing the opposite direction. Waited.

His fist clenched tightly, teeth scrapping harshly against each other- "If I had known this would happen, I would never have—"

Gloved fingers grasped his shoulder tightly, and his mouth clicked shut.

"Please. Do not blame yourself," she murmured, calm and quiet, so unlike the weight dragging her down to the earth, burying her under. The magic that coursed through the blood, singing and wild, untamed as the raging sea.

Her fingers trembled.

She did not cry.

"I wish...I wish I could have talked with him more before. Know this Jason better," spoke Damian again after a long pause. It was an admission, hushed, voice laced with a regret so potent, it was impossible to dismiss.

So much regrets. Always. Always, always.

Finally, he turned to her with his cowl taken off, the pain in his eyes open for the world to see, for her to see, and she-

"I‘m so sorry, Cass," he whispered, broken, "I‘m so sorry."

Maybe it was his understanding, the honesty a huge contrast from the young, haughty boy who would hide his emotions behind a wall of anger and righteousness all those years ago. Or maybe it was the way his hand hovered beside him, a language as natural to her as breathing itself. Whatever it was...it unraveled the last string keeping her together, and she—

Not again.

Somewhere between then and the ground, her mask had been pulled down, and Cassandra finally let the weight in her heart crush her soul to dust, Damian‘s arms somehow around her and holding her close. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her tears creating a wet patch on his shoulder.

It was so tempting to call upon thunderstorms and lightning to put an end to all their suffering, an end to the anti-life once and for all—but she didn‘t. That was not their mission. Instead she let her eyes run dry, heaving quiet sobs into her brother.

The last two siblings held each other, grief and sorrow amplifying the desperation Cass felt growing within her.

It was a necessary sacrifice, she would know later.

But all she felt then was the despair of losing another family. The only one she had since their whole world turned upside down.

Damian was a solid weight that kept her grounded, and she was...thankful. Rose deserved to be supported now, rather than have another mess of emotions thrown onto her lap after all.

She felt her not-so-little brother bury himself into her shoulder and knew he needed this too.

It wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair.

...but nothing was.

Later, they would give Jason a proper burial. Later, they would be there carve the loving words of the life their brother had led. They would pay their respects, just as he did for their late father and brothers in the cave.

Later, they would continue to fight for humanity.

But for now-

"Damian," her voice cracked, too soft, too strained even for her ears. "I‘ll keep you safe. I promise."

A finality. An oath.

Not just to herself, but to Jason—whom she had failed. To their father, who entrusted the Bat mantle to the both of them, in his own ways. If it meant him surviving...

Damian froze and she knew what he wanted to say: Please don‘t make promises you can‘t keep.

But he didn‘t. Instead, he breathed out just as solemnly, the timbre of his voice octaves lower than it was a lifetime ago:

"...Right back at you, Cass."

[worldofwardcraft]

The stupid party.

March 7, 2022

One-time Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal (pictured above on the night he disappeared) has a place in the annals of the Republican Party for two reasons. First, for delivering the official GOP response to President Obama's 2009 State of the Union address so poorly it became the object of bipartisan ridicule and effectively ended his political career. But also for his warning years later to fellow Republicans that they "must stop being the stupid party."

Sadly, this piece of good advice went unheeded. Instead, Republicans plowed right ahead with their intent to become the party of not only stupidity, but also idiocy, inanity and abject absurdity. Although, to be fair, it's sometimes difficult to distinguish between the ridiculous lies and conspiracy theories they peddle to their gullible rank-and-file and the clownish things they say simply because they're, well, clowns.

Exhibit A has to be QAnon enthusiast and congressional nut job Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA). A few years back, she suggested that the California forests didn't just catch fire on their own. Rather, the blazes were purposely started by PG&E, the state's energy company, in conjunction with the Rothschilds, using a space laser. Yup. Apparently, Jewish space lasers is a thing.

Next up, we have Louie Gohmert (R-TX), the universally acclaimed Dumbest Man in Congress, who asked during a 2021 House Natural Resources subcommittee hearing if the National Forest Service and Bureau of Land Management could change the orbits of the moon and earth in order to help address climate change. You can't make this up.

Does it get stupider? Last month, Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY), who is reported to have a degree from MIT, tweeted, "Over 70% of Americans who died with COVID, died on Medicare, and some people want Medicare For All?" Which prompted one snide commenter to respond, "Over 70 percent of Americans who died of heart attacks own a washing machine. We must ban washing machines."

Another Republican congressional nitwit, Florida's Matt Gaetz, suggested to the One America News Network that the best way to protect yourself against COVID is catching it. No, really, here's what he said.

The best vaccine we've found is Mother Nature's vaccine. It's contracting the virus. That is what has provided the greatest protection, the most durable protection, over the longest period of time.

Unfortunately, space does not permit us to document every single brainless thing various Republicans have uttered at various times. But it's clear that by becoming the stupid party, the modern GOP's appeal is exclusively to the irredeemably stupid. They really should have listened to Bobby Jindal. Wherever he is.

[peterspideyy]

regret

written before newt came out <3

summary- what if newt turned into a full crank, and despite the fact he can’t control himself, he did the one thing he knows he will never forget for the rest of his life- hurt the people he loves.

warnings- angst, verbal abuse, major character death, blood, swearing, some fluff but not a lot, kinda death cure spoilers?

————

your breath was ragged.

your legs were aching.

sweat was pouring off your face, from how fast you were running, as well as the heat from explosions you were currently dodging. your ears rang, as gunshots and blood-curdling screams surrounded you, making it nearly hard to concentrate. but, you blocked out all distractions, as you carried on running through the crumbling streets of the last city.

you had one aim- to get to newt and save him.

he had the flare.

your own boyfriend had the most dangerous virus ever known to man. and now, in your right hand, was the serum. surely, it won’t protect him forever, but it would be enough to stop him to turn into one of those...things. it would give you enough time to fully cure him of the flare. and then you would spend the rest of your lives together, and finally be happy.

as you ran, ignoring the calls of minho and gally who were behind you, you couldn’t help but think of the worse. what if when you inject the blue liquid into newt, nothing happens? what if it’s too late? what if he’s already...

no you can’t finish that sentence.

you won’t.

however, when you arrived you definitely didn’t expect to see what you saw.

thomas was lying on the floor, with a knife in his chest, blood seeping through his navy top. his eyes were glazed over, and his lips were parted as if his last words were filled with pain. but, worse of all, newt was stood above him, his hands wrapped around the knife handle, with a sicking smile spread across his face. your knees buckled, as you took in the horrifying sight in-front of you.

newt killed your own brother.

and he seemed happy about it.

“newt...” you quivered, not knowing what to say. what could you say? in that moment, you were shocked to the core.

the boy scoffed, turning his head to the side not once looking at you. he still had that deadly smile plastered on his face, with dark blood dripping down his chin. “a-always hated him. i blame him for everything that happened to me.”

his voice was deep and filled with hatred, causing a tear to slip down your face. your hands started to shake as it finally hit you.

you were too late to save the love of your life.

you shook your head, “n-no. you don’t mean that. this isn’t you, newt.”

he turned his head more, finally meeting your eyes. his once honey orbs, holding love and happiness in them, was replaced by pure black, holding distress and coldness. you took in his appearance, tears falling down freely now. there was no more of his porcelain skin left to see, instead it was replaced by veins and blood. you didn’t know who’s blood that was. either newt’s or thomas’. but, did you really want to know?

“i hated the maze. i hated the scorch. i hated everything that happened to me. everyone around me died. i hated my life. and it was all yours and tommy’s fault!” he roared, taking the knife out of thomas’ lifeless body, before spinning around.

you barely blinked, before newt ran towards you, screaming inhumanly, shoving you down to the floor. your head banged against the concrete, as all the air in your lungs were knocked out of you, insantly. your head throbbed, as you felt blood trickle down your cheek.

you had no time to move, before newt jumped on top of you, throwing the knife behind his head, before lunging it towards you. but, you gained some energy left, brining your arms up suddenly to meet his, holding the knife away from your chest. he screeched, as tears fell down your cheek at the sight of your boyfriend, trying to stab you. he was stronger than you however, you put all your strength in to keep the blade away from killing you.

abruptly, newt’s actions froze, as the push against your arms faltered. he blinked, and a look of shock washed over him, “y/n?”

“oh my god...newt.” you smiled. you weren’t late. you could still save him.

“i-i’m so sorry.” he spoke, his eyes scanning your face. there was a hint of darkness in his eyes, but you brushed it off, relief flooding through you at the sight of your boyfriend back to normal.

“it’s okay. darling, listen to me, you need the serum.”

a tear left newt’s eyes, making your heart break, as you brought up a hand to wipe it away softly. but, his hand quickly came to grab yours, as he titled his head to the side, a wicked smile replacing his frown.

“really, y/n? you would really fall for a trick that easily?”

your breath hitched, as your eyes went wide at his sudden outburst.

you were too late.

“all i needed to do was cry, and you would come running back into my arms,” he spat, eyes becoming red, “you’re pathetic. you always let your emotions get in the bloody way. no wonder you loose everyone you love.”

a sob broke through your throat, as you tried to ignore his words. this wasn’t him. this wasn’t your newt. yet, he carried on speaking harsh truths at you.

“ben, alby, chuck, winston, thomas,” he smirked, brining his head down to your ear, making you whimper, before whispering his next words. “and now, you’re going to loose me. all because little y/n cares too deeply.”

“n-no.” you wailed, trying to not let his words affect you. but, you couldn’t help your heart pang in pain at what he was saying. he smirked, using the knife still in his hands and started tracing your skin on your neck, as you shook with horror.

he suddenly screamed at your face, making you flinch as you shut your eyes, silently begging for the newt you so desperately love to come back. tears were falling freely now, landing on the grey concrete floor and mixing with the blood dripping from his clothes. you turned to the left, opening your eyes to look at your brothers’ motionless body, as you let newt’s screech zone you out.

suddenly, newt stopped screaming, as you looked back to face him, hoping to see your boyfriend. but, he was still unaware of his actions, letting the crank take over his mind and body. he stood up abruptly, walking behind you. taking this opportunity, you spun around standing up to see newt limping to minho and gally.

“newt?” minho quivered starring at his best mate, as gally stood beside him eyes wide at the sight infront of him.

“newt is no longer here.” your boyfriend replied, voice hoarse.

minho glanced to you, silently asking if you were okay which you nodded in return. however, you stopped nodding as you felt minho’s heart drop as his eyes travelled to thomas. “w-what?”

you have never heard so much heartbreak in a simple word before.

“oh my god.” gally whispered, as he too looked at his friend. your heart panged as you took in their reactions. you couldn’t describe the pure look of horror on their faces.

“oh him?” newt laughed, shrugging, “glad he was the first person to go.”

what happened next, occurred too quickly. and you wish you never saw it happen.

gally lifted his gun up, finger on the trigger and aimed it at newt’s leg. he was about to pull the trigger, as newt titled his head, tutting slightly, before he grabbed a gun from his back pocket, shooting it. the bullet hit gally in the head, as he fell to the ground, dying in seconds. you barely blinked, before newt moved his gun at minho, pulling the trigger back again. a deafening scream ripped through your body, as the bullet hit minho’s head. you wacthed as a tear slipped down minho’s face, as you saw all the life in your bestfriend be drained away instantly.

oh my god.

newt turned around, putting his gun to the side as he glared at you, “didn’t like them either.”

“n-no.” you shook your head, in disbelief. how have your most closet friends and family, gone from being by your side to dying in a day?

“guess you can add two more people to that list of people you’ve lost.”

the way newt spoke, made you want to scream. he sounded so calm. so empty. so emotionless.

“say it y/n. i know you want to.” newt mumbled, but you heard him clearly. you looked away, closing your eyes, wishing this was a terrible dream and that you’ll wake up in newt’s loving arms. “say it! say you hate me!”

“i-i don’t hate you. i hate the crank within you.”

he scoffed, “how many more bloody people do i have to kill for you to hate me, hm?”

“stop, j-just,” you walked towards him, “newt, i know the real you is in there, just fight it okay, just-“

you barely had time to finish before the boy you didn’t know anymore, shoved you away harshly, causing your arm to throb in pain.

“the person you so desperately loved is never coming back, y/n! so, stop crying and fight me! prove to me that all that training you and newt did, payed off.”

“why are we doing this?” you questioned, laughing slightly. your boyfriend was stood in front of you, chuckling slightly.

“because ,darling, if we meet any cranks or wckd guards, you can protect yourself and fight them off.” he replied, getting ready to dodge your punches.

you rolled your eyes, “i don’t need training though. i did plenty of exercise in the maze.”

you, newt and the rest of the gladers were currently getting ready to save minho from wckd. you were going to save him tonight. so, of course, newt being a protective boyfriend, he wanted to make sure you could fight and protect yourself. he wouldn’t know what he would do with himself if you got hurt.

“yes, well that was just running. this is fighting. come on, hit me.”

you laughed again, “love, i’m not going to hit you.”

“oh come on,” he smirked, “it won’t hurt one bit.”

you froze, “what did you just say?”

“i take that back!” he surrendered.

“oh it’s on.”

you went to bring your fist into his chest, before he grabbed it, turning you around and pulling you more towards his body. placing his hands on your waist, he spun you around while making a sound effect of a gun.

“what was that?” you asked, giggling at how silly he looked trying to make the right sound.

“just showing you, sweetheart, that you are now shot.” he smiled.

“is that your reaction, if i actually get shot-“

“no! of course not!” he assured, not even letting you finish.

he let go of you, walking back to the position he was in, “right darling, you need to cause a distraction before you attack, okay?”

you smiled, nodding as newt got ready for your actions. he expected you to point behind him or run towards him, but instead you calmly walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck before placing your lips on his. newt’s eyes went wide, before relaxing into your touch, soon becoming weak in your arms. you almost laughed, before you wrapped your leg around his, pushing newt to the ground, as you made a sound effect of a gun.

“now, you’re shot.”

“well,” he coughed, lying on the floor shocked, “you could say i didn’t expect that.”

“that’s the whole point of a distraction, love.” you cooed, threading your fingers through his curls, making him smile.

“just don’t use that distraction on anyone but me, alright? don’t want to see you snogging some wckd gaurd. or even a crank.” he spoke, making you laugh.

you weren’t laughing now.

“i-i don’t want to hurt you.” you whimpered, as you started walking more towards him, slowly.

“i know for a fact the newt i love is still in there, desperately trying to break free. and i know he can do it. just try and come back.” you spoke, trying not to let your voice waver with how much you were shaking. as you were walking towards him; talking, you carefully took out the serum which was in your back pocket, taking the lid off and getting ready to inject it into him, with the hope it will save him. you did this all behind you, scared that if the boy saw it, it will cause newt to turn even more into a crank.

you stopped as you were inches away from him. you wanted to cry as you took in his appearance in more detail.

“just come back to me, love.” you smiled softly, titling your head to the side.

he looked down not once meeting your gaze. “i’ve killed people you care about y/n. w-why aren’t you fighting me?”

“because i care for you too much to give up on you.”

he was still looking down at the floor, silently taking in your words. you took the opportunity, to lift your left hand ,which was clutching onto the serum, getting ready to inject it into his neck. but, newt quickly grabbed your wrist in mid flight, turning his head to meet your petrified orbs. your breath hitched, as his eyes now had hints of rage in them.

“ah ah, y/n. that’s not what i wanted at all.” he tutted, before snatching the serum out of your hand, throwing it to the ground, as a ‘no’ left your lips before watching the glass shatter into millions of pieces as the blue liquid seeped into random gaps on the concrete floor.

“when’s it going to get into your head, love? the newt you once bloody loved, is never coming back! so, come on, kill me!”

you shook your head, “y-you can’t ask me to do this.”

“i know you want to, so do it! kill me!” he roared, waking more towards you. you took a step back, still shaking your head.

he leaned in, moving his mouth near your ear. “i knew you wouldn’t be able to do it,” he whispered, chuckling slightly, “you still love me so much, don’t you? pathetic.”

you barely had any time to reply, before you gasped as excruciating pain soared through your body suddenly, nearly knocking you unconscious. blood started to splutter from your mouth, as you looked down to see a knife stabbed in your chest, with the love of your life’s steady hand wrapped around the handle. you nearly chocked as you realised it was the same knife newt used on your brother. looking up, and meeting newt’s orbs a tear fell down your cheek. a smile was plastered on his face, as you fell the ground. newt stood above you, looking down at your body.

“i-i love you.” you whispered with the last bit of breath you had, before the life in you washed away.

newt scoffed, taking the knife of your chest after a couple of minutes. he started to walk away, before he suddenly froze.

he furrowed his brows, looking down at his hands, to see a knife with blood dripping off it. who’s blood was that? looking around, his breath hitched at the sight of gally and minho on the floor. his two closet friends from the maze- dead. he saw thomas, his face pale. then, his heart dropped at the sight of you, blood leaking out of your chest onto the cold floor.

“n-no.”

he rushed over, cradling your body as he sobbed uncontrollably. he killed you. he killed the only person in his life that made it worth living.

“y/n?! stop it! come back to me!” he sobbed, probably not making any sense but he didn’t care.

“i can’t live without you.” he whispered into your hair, as his heart panged with increasing guilt.

newt didn’t want to feel anymore. he didn’t want to feel the immense regret he felt. so, he stopped sobbing so violently, and let the crank take over. and never let his human self come back.

he stood up, almost like an animatronic, strolling away with no emotion visible, leaving behind his best friends and the love of his life, as the last city burned around him.

————

a/n- i think this is the darkest fic i’ve ever wrote, so i’m sorry about that :/ but, it is spooky season sooo ahah. thanks for ready :)

————

newt taglist-

@24kbucky @parkersbliss @sweetiesangster @marilovescevans @the-salty-asian

[starlightxsvt]

Sunrises || Choi Seungcheol au

Pairing: Seungcheol x Female reader

Genre: apocalypse au, slice of life (?), angst, kinda fluff, some action

Warning: zombies, death and stuffs

"Thank you for saving me that day." You murmur to the male sittig next to you.

Seungcheol, in return says nothing, focusing on peeling the apple in his hand.

It was the third day after he saved you and gave you a place to stay. The man didn't offer his name or any other information - though you figured it out from craved wood that hung on his room's door saying, 'Seungcheol's room' - neither asked yours but you enlightened him with it. He doesn't talk much and doesn't like to be talked much but you kept your mouth open anyway.

It was about two months since the strange virus spread and begun the apocalypse and you were lucky enough to have stumbled upon Seungcheol.

"I really mean it." You whisper. "I'm new in this place. Believe it or not but I moved here literally a few days before the apocalypse started."

You didn't get any response to that either.

"Do you have any family? I don't. My mother died long ago and my father's an addict so I basically ran from him."

More silence.

You take in his features which are too concentrated on peeling the apple. His brows were knit to a frown and he chewed on his lower  plump lip.

You swallow, "Who's Sunghoon?" You know you probably shouldn't have asked the question but curiosity got the best of you. You saw the name hanging on one of the rooms which was apparently locked.

He looks up at you, an angry look on his face. "I swear to any higher being up there, if you don't shut your mouth I am going to feed you to the corpses by myself." He stands up murmuring, "This is why I don't like helping people." 

You watch his retreating figure walk inside the house and you sigh, leaning against the apple tree and watching the sunset.

A week later

You thanked the heavens everyday for making you stumble upon a guy who's a farmer. Seungcheol had his own produce, a small field of rice and corns and a few apple and lemon trees. It was safe to say these were more than enough in a time like this.

The electricity is unavailable most of the time but it takes some surprise visits every few days for a few hours. That's when you and Seungcheol wash up and store water.

Your days go by rather quickly thanks to the neat system Seungcheol seems to have established. He had things run so smoothly that it was pretty unbelievable the world was going through an apocalypse right now. You help him around the house, cleaning things up, watering the crops and such. He had his own rules - don't waste water or tissues, don't eat too much, don't talk too much. You tried to follow them at your best but you couldn't stop yourself from starting a little conversation more often that which were only met with silence or threats. But so far, Seungcheol was a guy nice enough and you counted your blessings for meeting him.

A few more days later

When you ran from your place you only took your female necessities. Those were dumb things compared to others who ran away with guns and foods.

You sat in the guest room Seungcheol offered you, thinking about what you were gonna do after these necessities were finished.

Suddenly Seungcheol appears knocking on your door before entering. You turn to look at him as he takes a seat. "We'll be heading out tomorrow."

"Huh?"

"There's a super shop a mile away from here. We're going there."

"Why?"

"Why do you think, smartass? We need to stock up on tissue paper and dry foods. I visited there a couple times after the apocalypse started. Apparently the government and NGO's provide foods and stuffs there for the survivors out here."

"Really?Then where are they? We need to find them. They probably built a shelter, we can go live there."

"Do you think it's that simple?"

"Huh?"

Seungcheol sighs. "They are moving in their own pace, okay? The shelters are probably full now with survivors. When their capacity increases they'll let us know. I have a friend who works at the NGO. If he's okay he'll come for me."

"When was the last time you spoke with him?"

"On the day of the breakout."

"I see."

"Prepare yourself for tomorrow. Since you are living in my place, you are coming with me." He stands up to leave.

"I'm not a wuss, you know." You roll your eyes.

"We'll see."

"Yea. And you know, it didn't hurt to speak with me! We could talk more often Mr. Grumpy!" You call after him.

"Shut up."

The next day

"Listen carefully, don't waste anytime. Just grab the things you need and walk into the car." Seungcheol says parking the car in front of the convenience store.

You nod and watch him load his gun and tuck it behind him.

The store is a mess. Broken pieces and bits of metals everywhere. You both walk in and look for the things you came for. Luck seems to be on your side as you find a couple of dry food packets, some toilet papers and some pads -though they are not the best quality, you have to make do with these. You quickly put them on the tote bag you brought with yourself and turned around.

Seungcheol was on the opposite Isle looking through selves for God knows what. You walk out to the front of the store and see and notice taped there.

Food will be supplied here every week along with other necessities. If you are a survivor please hang in there. Once we manage more accommodation, we will come for you. Regarding the infected, our research says they are deaf, so please use that to your advantage.

You turn around to tell Seungcheol about this but instead you meet the eyes of a corpse. It stands there, a mess of blood and gunk as your soul leaves your body.

It approaches you, making garbled sounds and you take back a few steps. From behind him you see Seungcheol approaching will a huge piece of metal rod.

The corpse doesn't turn back to the noises Seungcheol's feet makes while approaching you through the mess, instead it's focus is solely on you, ready to devour. They're really deaf, huh. It opens its mouth ready to chunk a piece of your body when Seungcheol hits him in the head and bangs a couple more times to make sure it's immobile.

"Quick, get in the car. More of them might be around here."

You two dash back to the car, carrying your goods and he starts the car quickly. You look behind to see more of the corpses appearing from around the store. Dusk was approaching soon which meant the corpses will be more alive and ferocious.

The car speeds through the empty road as you clutch onto your tote bag. "Did you know they were deaf?"

"You didn't?" He throws at you. You roll your eyes at him.

"Thanks for saving me again."

"Maybe next time I won't."

Another couple weeks or so later

"I'm going to the supermarket."

"At this hour? It's almost dusk. Are you crazy?"

You watch as Seungcheol puts on the necessary protection on his arms and legs and checks his gun.

"They people from NGO deliver foods during this time since there is no survivors out at this hour. I'm gonna go there and try to meet the delivery guy. Also I need to refill my car."

"Why?"

"To pass a message."

"To your friend who works at the NGO?"

"Yes. I need to let him know that I'm alive. Then he'll come for me."

"What if he's dead?"

Seungcheol says nothing. You forbid him to leaves a few more times but he completely ignores your pleas saying he has to take a  chance. Before he is out the door, he hands you his gun. "Keep this with you. Until now, they corpses have never been around here so just stay inside the house and you'll be safe. I don't know if you have your memories after you becoming a corpse but if you see me coming here looking like one of them, shoot me."

What? You swallow as your heart tugs.

"Stop talking like that. You don't need to leave. We've plenty of food. We'll get by. Don't do this Seungcheol."

"Remember what I said." He speaks, ignoring you and turns around.

"Wait." You call, tears pooling in your eyes. "At least take the gun with you. You'll need it more than me. Besides I dont even know how to use it."

Seungcheol looks at you for a beat before taking a gun and giving you a small smile - the first one he ever gave you.

You watch him leave as the sky turn in hues of purple and black.

You spend a restless night, sitting in your room watching the sky and thinking about Seungcheol. You think of how he opened up a bit more in the last few days and the moments you shared.

Sunghoon was my brother. He was in the military. We were outside, celebrating his discharge when the infection spread. The corpses got him while he was trying to save me. I failed him.

I waited for him for a long time, thinking he'd come back. He didn't.

Y/n, if I don't return by dawn don't wait for me.

As the night passed anxiety got the best of you. This is it. I lost him. He's gone. I'll have to survive now, alone.

You were about to have a break down as you saw the first streak of light spread through the sky. You walked to the roof of his farmhouse watching the colors in the sky. You start to accept the fact that you're alone from now on. That is until you see Seungcheol's jeep approaching towards the house.

You held your breath and didn't move your position, waiting to see him come out.

You thought sunsets were pretty until you saw Seungcheol's tired figure getting out of the jeep, his eyes meeting yours and flashing a smile, the brightest one probably, at the crack of dawn.

Sunrises were pretty too. Even prettier perhaps.

A/N: Tbh I wasn't so confident in this one but oh well, here it is. Also thank you for loving my previous work, it really means a lot. As for this one, if it doesn't flop, maybe I'll write a part 2 👀.Anyway thanks again! 💖