#Stephen is absolute goals here

[cutesilyo]

the thing i really like about just for once in nerdy prudes must die is that it's best iteration of the musical within a musical trope that has become characteristic of the hatchetfield musicals

like both show-stopping number and deck the halls (of northville high) are catchy songs from in-universe musicals that were very much written to have plots that suck

and show-stopping number was so well-beloved because it is, frankly, a hilarious scene that robert manion put 100% into

but i argue that only just for once is thematically relevant to its musical and fully emblematic of the wants and desires of the character singing it

because what is just for once, as a scene? it's ruth singing a song because she thinks she's got a chance of doing it better. it's ruth singing a song about a character who looks back on the mundane miseries of her lonely life and — at the last second — remembering who she used to be before the pain set in. it's ruth singing her version of cooler than i think i am and reflecting on how she is perceived and wondering what it takes to break away from it. it's ruth singing right after she says, "in my dreams, i'm the star of the show."

of all the losers that max jagerman victimizes, only ruth says who she'd like to become beyond that. where pete can't even admit to liking steph at gunpoint and richie doesn't ever get the chance to verbalize what he wants, ruth gets on the stage in the few minutes of break time and just for once, the spotlight is on her.

and the really crazy thing about just for once is — it has the "i'm not a loser" motif. possibly the most iconic and important motif of the whole musical, it's the motif that starts the opening number. and here it is, in the silly musical within a musical by the silly character who has — until this song — always served as comic relief.

in the climax of the song, just for once is no longer the song of a character from the barbecue monologues. it's ruth's. in those few seconds, it's her lamentation of the life that max jagerman forced on her.

but that's the thing about the "i'm not a loser" motif. the way it functions in the musical is as a harbinger for max's violence. the police at the beginning ask, "what the hell happened here?" and its the motif that answers. pete is the first character that sings the line and is immediately beaten up by max in the next scene. then richie sings it and max kills him in the same song. when ruth has the motif running as the crescendo to just for once, it sounds absolutely incredible... and it should come as no surprise when max appears shortly after.

(as a quick note: you can also hear the motif after max makes the car crash, then max appears two scenes later. you then hear the motif in the cooler than i think i am reprise and max also appears right after the song. it's like max is instantly summoned by any instance of the losers trying to shake off the role he placed on them — of trying to defy him.)

tl;dr: the inclusion of the "i'm not a loser" motif in just for once makes it the big lipped alligator moment that wasn't. like yeah, it accomplishes its goal in being the funny musical within a musical trope! the character acting makes it a funny song, and its a funny character performing it! but it also furthers our understanding of ruth AND of what the "i'm not a loser" really is: it's the characters trying to develop past being nerdy prudes and max doing everything in his power to prevent that.

and it does all that while being a banging musical tribute to stephen sondheim and, especially, his song the ladies who lunch. which in itself is a massive flex on jeff blim's part. what a brilliant song in a brilliant musical.

[artbyblastweave]

worm sounds fascinating, how do I get started reading it? would you recommend starting from the beginning?

(Here we go)

So, first off, the specific questions you asked indicate that I should probably clarify the following: Worm is a single self-contained novel by Canadian author John McCrae (Pen name Wildbow). The book was written and published online for free on Wordpress, at a rate of two-to-three chapters a week, over the course of two years between 2011 and 2013. It's useful to conceive of it as a book written under the same paradigm as a particularly-faithfully-attended-to webcomic, except (and very unusually for a superhero thing) it's entirely prose with no visual elements. All of this is a longwinded way of answering your second question; yes, you should absolutely read it from the beginning, and the beginning is here. The entire book is available online, for free.

(In case that you haven't been able to pull together a broad sense of what the book is about just from perusing my Tumblr, I wrote a broad pitch for the setting at large and the story of Worm specifically here. The gist is that it’s a reconstructive superhero setting where superpowers are ironically tied into the user’s moment of greatest rock-bottom trauma, which is a major explanatory factor in why there are so many unstable kooks in costumes taking out their frustrations on the world; Worm proper follows the upwards-and-downwards trajectory of one Taylor Hebert, a teenaged insect-controller and would-be superhero with the secondary superpower of being able to rationalize nearly anything she does as being in the service of some greater good.)

Worm is divided into 31 arcs; each arc is comprised of 6-to-10 chapters, told in first person from Taylor’s perspective, followed by an interlude chapter told in third-person from the perspective of a member of the supporting cast. This structure is partly a holdover from early in Worm’s development, when the book was conceived as an ensemble piece that would rotate perspectives between different cape teams; as the book picked up steam, it also became a monetization vector, as Wildbow would write additional interludes if his donors hit certain milestones. This is important to note because one failure mode I’ve seen for reading Worm is that people will assume they can safely skip something called a “donation interlude” without missing anything important. You can’t. From a thematic perspective, the interludes are a major method by which the narrative keeps the protagonist honest, as they provide a sane or at least differently-insane perspective on the situation at hand, or on whatever over-the-top bullshit Taylor has pulled recently. From a craft perspective, the interludes are some of the best and most memorable writing in the book, at least in part due to the novelty of each character’s perspective.  From a story perspective, Wildbow was very diligent about making sure that most or all of the interludes introduced information or set up future events in a way that, if worst came to worst, he could incorporate into a regular chapter if the goal wasn’t met. But he did meet those donation milestones, meaning a lot of the book isn’t gonna make sense if you don’t read the interludes. Read the interludes.

You may have caught on to that “31 arcs with 5-10 chapters an arc” factoid and done some quick napkin math. Worm is long. Very Very Long. To my knowledge, Wildbow didn’t miss an update once, and 10,000 words every three days is considered a middle-of-the-road output for him. The effect of his truly insane production rate is twofold. First, the quality of Worm’s prose increases exponentially over the course of the book, going from workmanlike to amazing as a result of the sheer volume of practice he was getting. The second effect is that it’s 1.7 million words long. There’s a piece of apocrypha about how a mail-order copy of Stephen King’s It fell through a mailslot and pulverized the recipients chihuahua. Top researchers hypothesize that a printed edition of Worm could plausibly achieve similar results with a mastiff. This is mitigated by the pageless online format that lets you consume vast quantities of text without noticing the volume of what you’ve read; kinda similar to the infinite canvas trick that make some webcomics unprintable, or the infinite scroll UI trick if it were used for good instead of evil. But the gist is that Worm is very Long, and it’s also essentially a rough draft. Your enjoyment therefore might be contingent on your willingness to extend it a mulligan based on the absurd circumstances under which it was produced.

The very first chapter of Worm has the following disclaimer; Brief note from the author:  This story isn’t intended for young or sensitive readers.  Readers who are on the lookout for trigger warnings are advised to give Worm a pass. Some people interpret this as glib or dismissive on the part of the author; I think what’s closer to true is that he was just saving time, because the alternative would be most of the first chapter just being a ten-thousand-word long list of specifics. I can’t think of a single common trigger warning that isn’t applicable to Worm. Name a fucked-up thing, and it’s in there somewhere. Special mentions going to Bug Stuff (duh), dismemberment, torture, child abuse, incest, implied (and some offscreen) sexual assault, Nazis, animal death, and horrifically fleshed-out descriptions of bullying and institutional apathy, which are heavily influenced by the author’s own experience as a disabled student in public school. Reader Beware.

And, on a related note, the book was pretty clearly trying to be progressive.... by 2011 standards, which means you’re gonna be sucking air in through your teeth at points vis a vis representational issues, if that’s a big sticking point. It would be disingenuous for me to frame this as something that meaningfully detracted from my own reading experience, but it would be equally disingenuous to act like it doesn’t bother anyone deeply, and for valid reasons. To hone in on the queer rep angle specifically, picture the discourse if Ianthe was the only canon-lesbian character with any focus in TLT and you’re getting close to the situation on that front.

Wildbow (AKA Writers Georg, who should not have been counted) continued to maintain the two-chapter-a-week production rate to this day. His other works include: 

Pact (2014-2015) and Pale (2020-present) which are Urban fantasy works set in a universe colloquially known as the Otherverse, a setting in which essentially all magic is fueled by bullshitting the universe so hard that your chosen magical tradition is incorporated into reality as Something That Is Allowed; a major downstream result of this is that the sheer weight of precedent means that no magical practitioner is allowed to explicitly lie, on pain of the universe revoking their magical ability if they’re called out on it. Pact follows the misadventures of Blake Thorburn, a jaded 20-something who gets a target painted on his back after his grandmother- a widely feared diabolist- kicks the bucket and wills him her potentially apocalyptic cache of demonic texts as part of a complicated post-mortem gambit. Pale is a murder mystery/coming of age story. Set in Kennet, a small Canadian town with a subculture of unorthodox magical creatures who’ve managed to avoid being subordinated by more powerful human practitioners, the story follows a trio of pre-teen witches who’re hurriedly brought into the magical fold and tasked with trying to solve the murder of an extremely powerful magical being whose residence in the area was a major warding factor against magicians moving in and trying to bind the locals. 

Twig (2017-2018), a biopunk alternate-history coming-of-age novel set in a universe where, instead of writing Frankenstein, Mary Shelley actually figured out how to reanimate the dead; this kicked off a necroengineering/bioengineering revolution that leads to Britain conquering much of the world by the 1920s, lording over their holdings with everything from Kaiju to designer plagues, with a Royal Family that’s been modified into undying, post-human atrocities who treat their subjects as playthings as best. The protagonists are The Lambs, a group of heavily augmented child-soldiers used by The Crown’s science division as an investigation and infiltration unit; picture here The Hardy Boys or Scooby Doo if every case they were sent out on was in service of Ingsoc.  Alternatively, think of Scott Westerfeld’s Leviathan trilogy with the same aesthetic sensibilities, but paired with the balls to portray British Imperialism as backed by genetic engineering as something apocalyptically horrifying rather than as forbidden-love fuel.

Ward (2018-2020) is the sequel to Worm, set in the parahumans universe two years after the end of the first book. Basically impossible to describe in any additional detail without massive spoilers; suffice to say that it was contentious. I liked it personally, and I maintain that it’s main error was not having the same ten years of Pre-writing that Worm got. Other works in the same universe as Worm include PHO Sundays, which were RP threads that Wildbow ran weekly on the official subreddit in which he would post a fictitious forum thread from within the setting’s cape enthusiast forums, PRT Quest, which was a semi-canon Play-by-Vote quest on the Spacebattles Forums, and Weaverdice, which is an ongoing WIP TTRPG for the parahumans universe that he works on in his spare time, and for which he’s written a lot of fleshed out faction documents and character profiles.

There’s probably some level of broad fandom analysis it’d be useful to impart here; one interesting bit of fandom lore is that, by virtue of being a superhero setting that made some effort to be internally coherent, the series received a big bump from the Rationalist community, who you may or may not have run into on here. The series was also a big hit with battle boarders, who-would-winners, and that whole corner of nerddom, since the power system is so well-defined and well-articulated; a consequence of this is that a major Worm fandom Locus is the wargaming-site spacebattles, which was hit with such an ongoing deluge of Worm Fanfiction that they have a designated Worm section on the creative writing board, something no other fandom necessitated. Both of those things have affected the shape of the fandom and the fanfiction scene in ways that I don’t feel qualified to comment extensively on this late in the evening, but it’s a fascinating little abyss to have a staring contest with. At any rate, I’d genuinely would recommend the subreddit for the OC threads, worldbuilding idea threads, and stuff of that nature, the Cauldron discord if you’re into fanfiction, and Tumblr if you’re into rambling character analysis. I would recommend none of these things before you’re actually done with the book.

That’s all I’ve got for the moment. Hope you enjoy the book. Or shun the book, if my sundry disclaimers generated a sort of warding effect. I hope you have a contextually appropriate interaction with the book.

[ljjsims]

Greek Goddess legacy Challenge: Generation #11 Artemis: Completed

Protectress of girls, goddess of the hunt and the moon and so much more, here is Artemis!

You grew up in a loving family, a total mama’s girl. You work hard to win and be the best, win medals. But, as you grow, you find that medals just don’t do it for you. You feel way more fulfilled when you help people around you. When you care for helpless creatures. There are people and animals out there who can’t fend for themselves. And you can. You can save them. Anger boils in you when you see all those sims mistreated and hurt. So you promise yourself you will cure the world, sim by sim.

Little bit explanation with the sheets: - First sheet is for describing your current generation, with the challenges you need to do each life-stage. Also, because I love the myths, a bit of mythological background. May it inspire you :) - Second sheet is the preparation sheet for this generation, with important characters for your story. It is technically optional, but I love seeing sims with a backstory in my world, so I would highly recommend it. - Third sheet is for your gens children. They all have their own little challenges if your interested in those. I try to make all of them a bit different from each other, so it doesn’t get boring. Your heir is also on this sheet, but I’ve put their challenges on their own sheets. Stay tuned for those ;) - Fourth sheet is completely optional. If you want sims with names from the myths and love making sims to see them in your world, this is for you! All with a little mythological background ofc, you know me.

Next Generation is Iris! Previous Generation was Nike First Generation is Gaia

The Greek Goddesses Challenge by LJJ-Sims is a challenge based on the ancient mythical creatures and stories from Greece. I fell in love with Greek mythology in high school and have not let that love go since. In this challenge you will follow 10 deities in their journey through life. Every goddess has a different take on and goal in life. Special about this challenge?  All your kids have little challenges of their own, not only your heir. These challenges are optional, so if you feel like these are too much or just too restricting for you: by all means let them go. I also have sheets for characters that you can make before you start each generation. This gives your challenge a lot more personality and makes it frankly easier and more fun!

A little disclaimer: because I made these gods and goddesses into a legacy challenge, the relationships in the myths don’t exactly match the relationship in this challenge. There is a lot of keep it in the family in mythology, to put it lightly. And apart from the fact that you can’t do that in the Sims, I don’t really like that part. So I didn’t include it, thus the inconsistency. An example: Ares is now Hera’s stepfather instead of her son, which she conceived with her brother  and husband Zeus. This inconsistency can also be found in the stories. It’s just based on and not copied exactly, as Sims live lives that are a lot shorter than those of immortal gods. And it takes a way from the creativity if we just copy the myths. Even if we wanted to do that, it’s quite hard, as every myths has its fair share of variations and some are just completely different stories.

I use the MCCC-mod to alter the length of life states. You can find the days-years ratio here: the boring stuff.

I get all the information from several sites about mythology, but mostly use https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net/goddesses. This is a great place to start if you want to know the myths surrounding a certain god or goddess. Wikipedia is also a friend of mine in this challenge, although I automatically doubt a lot of information that is on there. More of a book person? I absolutely adore Stephen Fry’s Mythos, which is very beginner friendly, and Nathalie Haynes Pandora’s jar. For little synopses of gods, I would recommend Greek Mythology: The Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes Handbook by Liv Albert.

[mdhwrites]

Ruan Mei: Pure Evil or Misunderstood

TL:DR: I am not about to say Ruan Mei is some pure soul who is just an uwu baby. However, many of her intentions are flatly misconstrued and even fewer have the simple question of "Why?" directed to them. Unless her actions and words are entirely at odds with each other after all, shouldn't we test our hypothesis against her as a person and see if they square at all? Because they just don't.

Okay, let's start with the REAL big crime on her list... Or actually, the lesser of them to most and hence why it's memed more often: 'Resurrecting the Swarm'. I went back and forth on starting with this or the Cake Cats but I think they work better with a foundation on her methods while Skaracabaz lays that better.

So first, bluntly: Her goal was never to 'Resurrect the Swarm'. Hell, that's not even something she could do because the Swarm still exist. We've fought them in reality even before her continuance. The Swarm Disaster is dead but she's not reviving Tayzaronth (if again, that is possible) but just one of THEIR emanators. Could she cause a swarm outbreak on Herta's Spaceship? Sure but that's actually explicitly why we're here because she is not interested in that biproduct of her research. She is not interested in the destruction of the Space Station, why would that even be her goal?

She's actually pretty explicit with her goal: She wants Aeons. She wants to become one and as such must research Aeonic beings. As an emanator, Skaracabaz is an Aeonic being... But then why Skaracabaz? Why remake an emanator when others exist? Hell, others that she can get ahold of pretty easily? Now yes, Herta is a puppet and Screwllum is a machine... But what about Stephen? She knows how to manipulate him. She hides within the SU beneath anyone else's notice and could theoretically get his positional data from when he logs into it. That would be all she needed to get an emanator, because the geniuses are all blessed by Nous directly, thus making them emanators, for her research. One that couldn't fight back and posed no risks and thus would be easier to handle.

That's not one we have an explicit answer to but this is when we get into who she is as a person. Which leaves you less vulnerable to problems occurring outside of your control? Resurrecting the dead or kidnapping someone who is a vital part of a project run by geniuses? Which is even more useful? She makes one mistake and her test subject is now a corpse and the corpses of emanators are not hard to get ahold of in theory, there's been many. Make an emanator though and you can make them over and over and over again, while also proving that you are coming closer and closer to being able to make an Aeon. You need an emanator who has ample biological samples of similar makeup though, i.e. the Swarm who multiply off of one another instead of the genetic inconsistencies of humans, and with historical data that can help fill in other aspects of what it was, which can be accomplished through historical records and the SU. And if you succeed or fail, who cares? Succeed and you have a pet emanator of Propagation that you can freely experiment upon, her excess research actually enabling a better understanding of the Swarm and thus likely better ways to fight the Swarm. Fail and at best, you end up with no emanator like what happened in the continuance. At worse, you nuke the lab and kill the emanator in the process while you wash your hands of it. At absolute worst, you die and the emanator gets to call this galaxy its own which is no different from any other place currently consumed by the Swarm, like wherever Argenti and us flew into.

So then... Why Herta's? Well that's actually pretty damn easy because let's look at those contingencies. The worst case scenario requires no one to be able to pull the pin and destroy the lab. Ruan Mei explicitly set up her lab in an extraneous part of the station that could be destroyed and detached without harm to the rest of the station. Put a dead man switch in her that sends a recording to Asta and/or Herta saying "Hey, I messed up, you have a bug to nuke from orbit, my apologies," and the absolute worst case scenario isn't possible. And you might ask why but...

If she didn't care at all about the effects of her experiments, why make our speech impediment temporary? She has no need to avoid long term harm to us so why not make sure that we lose memory of the whole situation? Or for that matter, why was she concerned about Herta? Remember, she has us come to the meeting explicitly so she can better lie to Herta if Herta has caught on to her experiments and is upset about them. She is actually so concerned about the potential of being attacked on this front that she forgets who Herta is despite how much she analyzes others and their weaknesses. Again, strictly admitted by her when we leave the meeting and she feels silly for having been worried in the first place. She doesn't show it well but she doesn't seem to want to bring harm to others. In fact, that's potentially why she is such a hermit. It's just that she also doesn't care about others own affairs. She'll try and make sure not to destroy an apartment building if she can help it but help you move a couch in there? That sounds like a you problem.

...Though put a pin in that.

Now, even with all of this said, and her own claims to having things under control, she is still absolutely putting lives at risk by reviving Skaracabaz. Even if for the sake of expanding the Circle of Knowledge, it is still morally gray to risk reviving someone that dangerous. Why was that her first go to?

It wasn't. The Cake Cats were.

They were meant to be on par with geniuses, which means they theoretically could have brought Nous' attention upon themselves and became emanators, if they were not just made to be emanators to begin with. Emanators that were easily reproducable, who's values could be tweaked both for control and experimentation and who's only dangerous quality is if you make an evil one who wants to use their non existent hands to build a doomsday device. They are harmless.

And they were never meant to know Ruan Mei existed. Yeah, let's talk about the second catastrophic claim about Ruan Mei finally "She made the cats love her and then abandoned them."

You remember they're failures right? No, this isn't to say they should be abandoned because they're failures but that they did not end up behaving or being anything like Ruan Mei expected. She herself admits they exhibit abnormal behavior and what in Ruan Mei's character says she would have wanted them to worship her like a goddess or mother? She has no interest in connections after all. She only teamed up for the SU because it would further her research. She wants us to entirely forget our main interactions with her. All she cares about is her research, not some sort of idolatry. So... Why do the cake cats worship her?

Because life is fucking weird man. Why is it that so many cake cats who look like our friends also behave like our friends? These things make little sense personality wise and they're amazing for that. The fact that you can put three of these attempted synthetic geniuses on a table and they'll complain about not having a fourth for Celestial Jade is hilarious and very clearly not what Ruan Mei intended.

And as far abandoning them... She's on a space station. The airlock is a much easier option than the one she took for them. Instead, she pulled a Herta and went "Asta, they're now your problem because I have more important research to do." This is COLD but... Is it any different than how Herta treats the Curios in her collection? We only question this more because Ruan Mei deals with the cycle, improvement, evolution and study of living beings. If she coddled all of them that she made though, let every cute face she's put on something make her stick around to research a dead end, she'd never get anywhere and she would start to actively resent her creations. She is not soulless though so what she made she will not then execute if they do not have to be. Skaracabaz is dead because he was a dead end that could not continue existing, nor should have continued existing after research with him was done and we have no reason to think Ruan Mei would have let him live. The cake cats though? There might be something for a mundanite to learn there so let them be cared for and... And maybe she'll come back, if it distresses them so much for her to leave them entirely. Because she does claim to plan to come back and she does still have meetings for the SU to attend every now and then. She can take her snack breaks with her children.

And that gets us to our last point: She's changing. She ended her solitude with the SU and for the first time in a looooong time, she has had people she might consider caring about. Consider her guard down for. Consider putting herself in danger for.

Which brings us to the spoiler section of this blog: The Unknowable Domain. Specifically, its final portion. I'll spoil Ruan Mei's part but it still requires spoiling the twist of it and while it is my least favorite version of the SU, EEEASILY, the ending is still a knock out to me, even if it has some pretty bad problems of its own. Okay? Okay.

Remember that pin I put in earlier? Ruan Mei admits to being concerned about Herta. Hertamei enjoyers rejoice! In fact, she admits to always having been worried about things between Herta and Polka so jealous Hertamei enjoyers especially rejoice! But this is genuinely a big fucking deal. She is admitting to attachment. To something that could be used against her and to caring about anything besides her research, when in her original continuance she at least tries to veil her concerns with it always being that such problems might get in the way of her research. There is no excuse here.

It's even better though. Ruan Mei's Occurrence has her explicitly state that no one else knows about her little slice of SU. However, in giving us safety and help from Polka, she brings us into that slice WITH HERTA. She reveals her safe space and the place from which she could as she pleases in the SU to the person who might get the most upset about it and remove it just to help us. Help us when she didn't need to because as Herta says, Ruan Mei claimed she wasn't coming. Why would she? Polka is the killer of geniuses. Why would Ruan Mei risk ever being in the same galaxy as her, let alone the same room? Not unless there was something she cared about in that room too. The SU isn't in danger though. Herta is not about to ask about the Aeons. This isn't helping her research, just her friends.

Ruan Mei is currently undergoing a metamorphasis of her own but I hope with all of this, you're starting to see why she has always been the Path of Harmony. Why she is in concert with life, even if her own odd, skewed way, instead of actively malicious towards it. Or, bare minimum, that you found this a neat deep dive into her motivations and character, even if you don't agree. I personally still really need to write that Hertamei idea I got of those two words haunting Herta. Maybe I'll see you for that next tale and have a good day.

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A lot of this brought to you thanks to my brother who's second Limited 5 star was Ruan Mei and who he has been digging into ever since and helped give me the insights that expanded into this whole blog. Also, admittedly, this blog comes to you because I think a few of the girls in Star Rail get really shafted into being portrayed as pure evil when everything in Star Rail is more complicated than that. Well, except maybe Dr. Primitive. Fuck that guy.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (122-124)

In which Jared and Bryce think they can interact in public without Gabe figuring out they're married, and Chaz Rossi would like to die.

If you want to follow along, the series page is here.

122. Subterfuge

Jared goes to dinner at Gabe and Stephen’s, and it’s nice. Well, nice might not be the right word — Gabe is totally right about the similarities between Jared and Stephen, and if he makes people feel as nervous that he’s judging them fiercely as he feels nervous that Stephen’s judging him fiercely, he is officially sorry.

Those poor Canucks rookies.

Not sorry enough to stop — he doesn’t even think he’s capable of that —

Those poor, poor Canucks rookies.

It’s nice. Would be even nicer if it was the kind of thing him and Bryce could do together, but he knows Bryce isn’t ready for it, and honestly he’s just happy Bryce is willing to meet Gabe at all, even if it’s not as Jared’s husband.

Like, one, progress, but also: hahaha you guys think you can pull this off.

Wins are hard enough to come by for the Oilers without the salt in the wound of a former player getting the game-winner and the insurance goal.

I would like everyone to enjoy the thought of an absolutely incensed Deslauriers during that game.

Neither of the goals against the Oilers were milestones, technically, but Gabe fished the first puck out of the net anyway, got their trainer Dillon to write ‘1st career goal against the Oilers’ on it

Gabe’s such a good A, truly. Would have done that for any of his guys.

If he isn’t careful he’s going to be grinning wide enough to split his face, and that would probably tip Gabe off.

They STILL think they can pull this off.

“My friend Chaz,” Jared says. “He was my linemate on the Hitmen. And um. Chaz’s teammate Bryce is going to be joining in a bit.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gabe says, and when all the introduction pleasantries are over Chaz gives Jared a completely disgusted look.

The way Jared low-key made it sound like Chaz went ‘hey, is it cool if my friend Bryce comes too?’. Chaz is beside himself. Why did he agree to this. (He did it for the lolz. But now that the day has arrived, he is not, in fact, loling)

They talk Juniors for a bit, Gabe telling them about his time with the Knights. He roomed with the captain of the Panthers, which is kind of crazy.

Hi Jake! And love Jared still low-key fanboying players.

“Hey,” Bryce says when he gets to the table, posture almost as awkward as it is when he’s got a mic in his face. “Jared. Long time no see.”

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Um. Nice to see you again.”

Chaz wants to die.

Dinner’s awkward. Well, he doesn’t think dinner’s actually awkward from Gabe’s perspective, at least he hopes not? But it’s honestly all Jared can do not to text Bryce under the table to meet him in the bathroom so he can just hug him, not even do anything else

The only thing more uncomfortable than third-wheeling a couple eye-fucking is a couple eye-desperately-clinging-to-one-another-for-dear-life-ing.

The only thing holding Chaz together right now is the group chat. Also the fact Gabe CLEARLY has figured it out so every extra moment of this is a shared suffering, as he now has a fourth wheel.

Jared would make a good spy, he thinks.

Oh my god, Jared.

“So,” Jared says, trying to think of something to say that isn’t ‘finish your beer, Gabe’. “Chaz. Known him for years.”

He is squirming in his seat he wants to leave so badly, and he is very red, and his fake casual voice is extremely stilted. Gabe is feeling deeply fond of him right now.

Gabe takes a sip of beer. It isn’t a big enough sip, in Jared’s opinion.

SQUIRMING. And Gabe’s been with Stephen long enough that he might just be taking his time because it’s hilarious.

“You know you can just tell me you’re married, though.”

“I did?” Jared says.

“I mean to Bryce,” Gabe says.

He’s still Gabe, though, so he doesn’t torture him with it too long.

“You’re both wearing wedding rings,” Gabe says. “Like, matching ones.”

“All wedding rings pretty much look the same,” Jared says.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at him.

“And I know he’s from Vancouver, because that always comes up when we play the Flames,” Gabe says. “And I know that you’re living with your mother-in-law right now.”

“That could be a coincidence?” Jared says weakly.

“Also you haven’t stopped looking at each other all night,” Gabe says. “And not glances or anything, that was full on—”

There is deductive reasoning happening here, but even if Gabe hadn’t noticed any of the other things, the eye pining would have done it. It was not subtle.

What’s he going to say? ‘No, he’s not my husband, I actually spent all dinner eye-fucking a dude who isn’t my husband’? That’s objectively much worse than eye-fucking your own husband, which Jared is morally and legally entitled to do.

It is Jared’s RIGHT and his DUTY.

“Um,” Jared tries, but he’s mostly blank. He’s not great at making excuses at the best of times, and definitely not when he’s been called out and has no proper defence on hand. He would, in fact, make a terrible spy.

I do appreciate that after Jared makes objectively absurd statements he’s often the first to acknowledge that they are, in fact, absurd statements. (Sometimes because they’re only occurring in his head, because fuck knows all his friends would burst out laughing if Jared made the mistake of saying ‘I think I’d make a good spy’ out loud)

“Totally get that,” Gabe says. “I’ve uh. I’ve heard some stuff about him—”

Great. Terrific. Jared’s very favourite topic.

“Before you say anything, he was like — all of that was before we got together,” Jared says. “And he was young and — the shit the media says about him—”

Gabe puts his hands up. Which means they’re off his beer, but Jared thinks he’s been given permission to book it, so that’s okay. “I didn’t mean it accusingly. You know your relationship better than anyone else.”

Couple fun things here — including Jared’s continued hawk eye on Gabe’s drinking speed — but yeah, Jared misinterprets Gabe a LOT at the beginning because Gabe is almost TOO nice, and Jared reads into things that aren’t actually meant any way other than Gabe said it? And here’s another incidence of it — if Jared had let Gabe finish his message it was assuring Jared ‘I vaguely read some shit but I don’t put stock in rumours and media and Bryce has a clean slate with me’. Basically.

“Hey Jared?” Gabe asks.

“Yeah?” Jared says.

“Nice,” Gabe says.

Look man this guy is common-law married to Stephen Petersen and longtime-liney married to Dmitry Kurmazov, he has to have a little bit of troll in him.

Gabe shoos him off, and it’s kind of embarrassing, the speed Jared leaves that restaurant.

Gabe describes this as, and I quote, ‘speed-walking like a snowbird in Florida on a grimly determined constitutional’

(If anyone’s unfamiliar with the term: snowbirds are people, generally retirees, from northern climes, especially Canada (especially ESPECIALLY Quebec) and sometimes the Northeastern US, who spend their winters in warmer climates. They fly south for the winter, like migratory birds. Florida is a particularly popular destination for snowbirds.)

A constitutional is walking (to aid one’s constitution). It’s dated as fuck anywhere outside like, Victorian fiction. I love Gabe.

123. Quiet Night In

Jared is vaguely out of breath when he reaches his apartment, which might say something bad about his cardiovascular fitness. Or, more realistically, it says something embarrassing about the speed he made it home, considering he’s fit enough to handle second line minutes in a damn hockey game.

Snow birded the whole way home, but I think the anticipation have something to do with the shortness of breath.

He takes a moment in front of the door, partly trying to find his key — he’s got way too many on his keychain now — but also so he doesn’t barge in looking like a complete idiot, not that he thinks Bryce would mind, or like, even notice.

Jared has finally accepted how rosy Bryce’s glasses are when it comes to him.

“You’re home early,” Bryce says, and glances at Chaz, in a way Jared can totally see is a ‘Jared’s home, get the hell out of our apartment so we can hug and then fuck’ look, though Chaz appears not to notice.

Chaz notices. Chaz is ignoring it, because it is rude to give that look to your guest.

“He sort of figured out we’re married,” Jared says. “Something about the matching wedding rings and you being from Richmond and the fact we wouldn’t stop staring at each other the whole time.”

There was pining. There was yearning.

“He said he won’t tell anyone,” Jared says. He’ll save the addition of ‘and complimented me on my impeccable taste in men’ for when Chaz is gone. Which should be soon.

“Okay,” Bryce says, and glances over at Chaz again.

The looks they’re both giving Chaz right now almost make dinner subtle in comparison.

“Out of my house,” Jared says. “Now.”

“I’m literally putting my shoes on right now,” Chaz says. “What more do you want from me?”

“Put them on in the hall,” Jared says.

Jared is actually the worst.

“I missed this bed,” Jared says.

“You have the same one at my mom’s,” Bryce says.

“It’s not the same,” Jared says.

“Because I’m not in it?” Bryce says.

Well, also because this one just seems to know Jared’s body, but —

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Pretty much.”

Good use of your brain-to-mouth filter, Jared, you should do it more often.

“Gabe,” Bryce says.

“Oh,” Jared says, suddenly wide awake thanks to the rush of absolute mortification that runs through his body. Bryce was a great distraction from it, but he suspects that conversation is going to occasionally leap at him right when he’s falling asleep for like, the rest of his life.

Jared is so lucky it was Gabe that happened with, and not literally any other person, who would torture him with it for life, as is their right and their duty.

“No,” Jared says.

“But,” Bryce says.

“Wait your turn,” Jared says, doing his best to ignore Bryce looking sadly at him through the glass.

“But I missed you,” Bryce says plaintively.

Tragic. Heartbreaking. About to break Jared’s fragile anti-shower sex agenda.

124. Hospitality

“May the best team win tonight, hey?” his dad says. Erin’s in a Canucks jersey — Jared’s genuinely surprised she isn’t wearing his old Oilers one to troll both him and everyone in the arena, mom must have threatened her or something — but his dad isn’t, is wearing one from Jared’s Hitmen era.

Jared eyes him and his very Calgarian jersey. “That sounds mature of you,” he says.

Jared is correct about his sister, and his suspicions about his father are also correct, because they’re a bunch of gremlins.

“Dad’s very mature now, Jared,” Erin says. “He’s grown up a lot since you went to Vancouver.”

I love Erin.

“You want the Flames to win tonight, don’t you?” Jared guesses.

“You’re a lock!” his dad says. “The Canucks are making the postseason no matter what! The Flames need this game!”

“Don,” his mom says.

“I’m just saying that one team needs this game more than the other team does,” his dad mutters.

“You want Bryce to beat me tonight,��� Jared says. “Like — just to be clear, you want Bryce to beat me? You want your only son to lose this game to Bryce Marcus. Bryce Marcus.”

“Fuck off,” his dad mutters.

“Don!” his mom says.

Jared can’t stop grinning. “I’m really proud of you, dad,” he says.

Simultaneously character growth and character regression because Don Matheson, everyone.

They look all — familial, Jared guesses? Like Elaine’s officially part of the family now, like there’s a Marcus-Matheson tribe. She’s probably going out with them before the game, sticking around after Jared flies out, staying in his and Bryce’s guest room, her and Bryce going to his parents’ place for dinner, eating his dad’s food while all the Mathesons pretend to be nice people for the length of her visit.

At a certain point is it still pretending, or do the Mathesons become nice people when Elaine’s around?

It’s weird how that makes Jared happier than it does like, left out? But good, he guesses. Like, he’ll probably end up sulking about not getting to stick around and eat his dad’s cooking and watch his family pretend they aren’t evil so that they don’t scare Elaine away, but the fact that they’re doing it even when Jared isn’t there, that they want to hang out is — nice. Nice in the same way seeing pictures of Bryce and Chaz and Ash hanging out together makes Jared feel — grateful it’s happening even if he can’t be there.

Jared feels selfless happiness for others and is confused by it.

They’re all chirping him, but Julius’ text is straight up mean. Jared sends back a mean one of his own, and in response Julius gets even meaner. It’s making Jared feel a little better.

Look at Julius knowing exactly what Jared needs.

miss you already Bryce texts, just after Jared replies to a text from Julius saying he hopes the Canucks make it to the Conference Finals. Which sounds nice, but Jared totally knows he means ‘and so do the Flames so you have to play against your husband, bitch’.

It means exactly that. Though Jared added the ‘bitch’ himself.

Soft, Jared replies, but can’t help but add a You too, because he’s also soft, he guesses. But only for Bryce. Julius is getting another mean text.

The duality of Jared.

“Kind of surprised you didn’t figure it out sooner,” Stephen says. “It was all over hockey news when it happened.”

“I was pretty much just following the Flames and playing my own game back then,” Jared says. “Also I was like, twelve?”

This was the meanest thing Jared could say and he wasn’t even trying.

“You’re a baby,” Stephen says.

“Hey,” Jared says.

“An infant,” Stephen says. “Maybe a toddler.”

“I am not a toddler,” Jared says.

“Kindergarten at most,” Stephen says.

Look how fast Jared’s growing!

“Twenty-one,” Stephen mutters. “Jesus christ.”

“Does it help that Bryce is twenty-four?” Jared asks.

“Does it—” Stephen says. “He’s twenty-four? You met — you were a baby.”

Jared is suddenly aware that it does not help that Bryce is twenty-four.

You would think at some point Jared would learn this, but you would be wrong.

“Do I need to call your mother?” Stephen asks.

“Stephen,” Gabe says.

“I’m calling your mother,” Stephen says. “What’s her number.”

As much as Gabe and Stephen never want Jared to meet their parents? Jared is suddenly just as intent that Stephen never meets his father. He feels like it wouldn’t go well for him.

“Stephen,” Gabe says. “Stop, he looks petrified.”

“I know,” Stephen says. “It’s hilarious.”

Jared can only DREAM of becoming Stephen Petersen one day.

[lesfir]

The charming Dark Side

In the supplement to "Triumph of Evil", I'd like to take the time to the issue - which evil? Astarion, as well as Lord Astarion evil\dark side is complex.

Unattractive evil absolutely breaks Astarion as a character, in the Evil Ascension Ending too, he needs to remain attractive and complex. It's his core, as an Ascended Astarion too, is himself - Astarion, and one of his integral paths as an Astarion character. I need a certain baseline for statements like that, too.

Evil is not cardboard. except for tales cartoons, teaching the virtues Evil is complex. "Has some little good in it" where I'm greedy and want more Is a great line of reasoning in Astarion's story.

Astarion is an fun character for the theme of evil and good. Astarion's own reasoning is extremely materialistic, selfish, and an "evil" picture of the world. Which however in Faerun has its own meaning. It also stays in balance. Astarion is more likely to act as an unsuspecting actor of a global idea that contains complex moral themes than to say such things himself. For example, we might find thoughts that rise above the story in the words of the archetype character "the wise man", Wise Old Turtle -like. Astarion either does not do this arbitrarily or he mocks morality, uses it to accomplish a goal. Or he can't find the words:

CinematicNodeContext: Can't quite find the words to convey "even evil people can be a little bit good" so just mimes weighing scales with his hands NodeContext: "And even good or evil people can be a little bit complicated."

In my opinion this idea from act 2 already overlaps with the ending. Evil power as a tool, evil man, even a little bit of good and something complicated. It also generally intersects with Astarion's story.

Complex Evil has its own morality, motivations, reasons and sense, depending on the context of the story. But it remains "evil" for some reason. Here we are already getting to a debatable, personal topic and who understands evil and gray morality in what way. To me, grayness is different from evil: Realizing it's immoral and still willing to do it. The lack of regret\guilt. The desire to continue. The inner satisfaction, fun of doing evil or all together. Hello Astarion very much hello, Lord Astarion Maybe in the very topic being reasoned over, the story will be something gray, yet the character will be evil within the story. We can add here DnD - in which greed and selfishness are classed as evil. Greed is one of the "deadliest human sins", as well as pride, speaking of other structures of the definition of "evil".

This point of the complexity of dark themes in Astarion's character, was mentioned by Astarion author Stephen Rooney. Stephen Rooney | Idle Insights | Idle Champions | D&D 18:32

Lauren: What was like one or two of the core things that were the most important about his character that needed to be represented? When you were helping us bring your baby into our game what were like the couple things you're like - he has to have this in order to still be him.

Stephen Rooney: When you meet Astarion the first thing that he does in the game is pull a knife on you. He has a certain appreciation for violence I guess, a bit of a murdery streak so… I think it's important to have that… and also… he's a vampire, he's all about blood and he's all about darker sides of humanity. So it's important that that's that's represented in the game. But the same time he’s really fun to write, to have in your party. And it was it's very important for me that that is also represented those kind of the two sides. It's gonna stop you but we'll we'll have a smile on his face and see does it.

Lauren: The fun thing about that duality of like all right he's a vampire he's all about blood but also he's kind of this sarcastic fun character. I like that he is not your cliche brooding dark always kind of emo vampire like he's got in a weird way a lot of fun personality to him and like he's a rogue but he's dressed in like fancy clothes and very he's very charismatic and personable. Were you was that how you were you was that just how you crafted Astarion from a gameplay and character perspective or were you thinking of like let’s make sure he’s not Dracula let’s make sure he’s not super cliché vampires.

Stephen Rooney: (… about cliché vampires) The main thing with Astarion character I think was just trying to get a sense of fun into… He could… It would be very very easy to write a character that was very unlikable in Astarion and we absolutely didn't want to do that. He's a bit terrible consistently throughout the game, he's awful in a whole lot of ways. But at the same time he needs to be charming and he needs to be someone that you actually want to have around. Because you’re gonna be with this guy for hours and hours – it’s a long track through this game so… You gotta make sure he’s engaging, he’s fun. Lauren: He that nice line of like… He’s doing the terrible things but he’s so fun to be around and maybe he’s got a point about the terrible things he’s doing and, you know, maybe he's gonna sway the player over to his side of seeing things a little bit.

Stephen Rooney: Hopefully, I mean, that would be the gold standard if I hit that even most of the time, I’m extremely happy.

___

There are two sides to Astarion's character that are very important to have together - he is a bloodthirsty vampire, "he's all about the darker sides of humanity", and he is fun. It's easy to write Astarion as a very unlikable character, but that's something its author absolutely didn't want. Astarion needs to be charming, interesting, fun, yet keep two sides.

I mean that's why Lord Astarion - being the most dangerous on the meadow - is sulking that he wasn't the one throwing the party, arrogantly looking at the nails "wow they're still alive, good for them", throws away the goblet drinks wine from the bottle, and flies back and forth as tiny furry bat. Astarion's evil is seductive and alluring, instead of only black vacuum. It takes nuance and a lot of detail, balance, as well as the important thing - devilish charm and charisma. More like space viewed from a monitor, constellations and nebulae. If you truly get there, you'll freeze to death in a second, but it's very beautiful from afar. It's the kind of evil he has throughout story. Such evil stays with Astarion in Ascension, more openly and at the apogee. True, it's different for each individual. A friend of mine said: "why do you need that vampire bastard? I'm gonna kill him" хD Alluring of Astarion's evil and especially of Lord Astarion works very differently or doesn't work at all.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 20 Wicked Witches

Halloween isn’t here yet, but I’m still on my run of October-themed lists for 2024! So, let’s talk about one of Halloween’s most famous archetypes: the Wicked Witch. Disregarding the long and rather controversial history of real-life witchcraft, fictional witches have been a staple in mythology, fairy-tales, and popular media as a whole for a very long time. From gnarled old crones and nasty hags, to darkly beautiful enchantresses who are as glamorous as they are grotesque, these mistresses of black magic are a mainstay in fantasy and horror alike. Of course, not all witches are evil: some, like Hermione Granger from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, are generally very good and heroic characters. Even some witches who have a dark side, like Grandmama Addams from “The Addams Family,” aren’t really evil, they just have a sort of ghoulish sense of style. But no matter how much time passes, there will always be bad witches as well as good ones: figures of female power for both darkness and light. I decided to look specifically at some bad witches for this list. Some of them are hideous, some of them are radiant, but all of them match the basic description of “evil feminine magic-user.” There are a LOT of witch characters from various forms of media, so forgive me if any noteworthy ones YOU favor get left out of the running. With that said…here are My Top 20 Favorite Wicked Witches!

20. The Witch, from Into the Woods.

I wasn’t 100% sure how much this character REALLY counted as “wicked” witch, but by her own admission, “she’s not good, she’s not nice,” and she does do some things that are…morally questionable, to say the least. Plus, I absolutely LOVE “Into the Woods,” and I frankly don’t get to talk about it enough, so I’m giving her a spot here. For those who don’t know, this musical is the creation of the late, great Stephen Sondheim, whom many consider one of the greatest musical theatre masters of all time. The show is a mash-up of several fairy-tales together: in the first act, the stories intertwine and, by the end of the act, all of the characters involved have seemingly found their happy endings. This is all well and good, but the REAL kicker comes in Act II, when the characters learn that their actions (and inactions) from the first half now have far-reaching consequences, and that sometimes “happily ever after” isn’t so easy. The Witch is a central character in the story, who effectively jumpstarts the plot, as most of the major plot threads tie back to her twin goals of regaining her youth and beauty, and protecting her adoptive daughter, Rapunzel. While not necessarily EVIL, in the strictest sense, the Witch is a very self-centered character, and her self-serving nature repeatedly bites her in the rear throughout the story, with increasingly unfortunate results. At the same time, however, she’s one of the most rational characters in the story, often stepping in to halt the other characters as they bicker and fuss…though even then, it’s usually only for her own purposes. The character is typically treated as the “star attraction” in the play, as whenever there’s a really big name cast in the show, it usually goes to the Witch. Given how much meat there is to the role, it’s not a surprise that such names as Meryl Streep, Bernadette Peters, Donna Murphy, and Phylicia Rashad have all tackled the part with aplomb.

19. Gruntilda, from Banjo-Kazooie.

This silly sorceress is the main antagonist of the Banjo-Kazooie franchise, which focuses on the adventures of a bear and a bird trying to outdo the nasty crone in her many schemes. Gruntilda Winkybunion is a classic, cartoony witch, inspired by the Queen from Snow White. Determined to be the fairest in the land, she kidnaps Banjo’s sister in the first game, planning to rob her of her youth and beauty, thus turning the girl bear into a monster and transforming the gnarled witch herself into a smokin’ green bombshell. In later installments, the evil witch returns to seek revenge on those who took away her chance at glamor. While Grunty is not necessarily an idiot, she’s still a generally more humorous sort of character. Her ironic vanity and overconfidence constantly lead to her downfall, to say nothing of her faith in her many bungling minions. Though funny, she nevertheless poses a threat to the world she inhabits, and has many ways of coming back from her numerous defeats, even from beyond the grave! She may not be the scariest witch on the countdown, but she’s certainly one of the most entertaining.

18. Yubaba, from Spirited Away.

“Spirited Away” is many people’s choice for their favorite film from the popular Japanese movie company, Studio Ghibli, as well as the debated masterwork of internationally famed animator Hayao Miyazaki. Influenced by various fairy-tales and pieces of folklore, the story tells of the adventures of a young girl named Chihiro, who ends up lost - along with her parents - in the spirit world. After her parents are turned into pigs (it happens), she goes to a bathhouse run by the wicked hag Yubaba, to try and find a way to get home. Yubaba tricks Chihiro into signing a work contract with her, and steals Chihiro’s name away, giving her the new name “Sen.” As time goes on, Sen begins to forget her name and her true identity: if she completely forgets her true self, she’ll be Yubaba’s servant for the rest of time. Sen must thus find a way to regain ownership of her name and escape the spirit world and Yubaba’s influence. Yubaba is one of the few proper villains to appear in a Studio Ghibli film, and she’s a very fun character. While absolutely the villain of the story, she does have some standards: she considers herself a businesswoman, and genuinely respects hard work and determination. She even starts to form a sort of affection towards Sen, despite everything. The old witch also genuinely loves her son, Boh, spoiling him absolutely as rotten as herself. Boh later learns his lesson, but Yubaba…well, the jury is still out on that one.

17. Circe.

It’s difficult to say who the first witch character in fiction is/was, but I think a fair argument could be made that Circe - a figure of Greek Mythology - could certainly be considered AMONG the first, at the very least. This enchantress was the ruler of the mystical isle of Aeaea. The daughter of the Sun God, Helios, and a water nymph named Perse, Circe was closer to a deity than a human being, and had the power to match it. Circe was prone to jealousy, and seemed to enjoy toying with mortals either out of spite, or for sport, or for both. With her magic wand, she could turn other people into all sorts of beasts. In the famous legend of “The Odyssey,” she transformed most of Odysseus’ crew into pigs, until he agreed to live with her for a year. In another legend, she transformed a nymph named Scylla into the legendary man-eating sea monster of myth, in a plot of revenge. In still another, she punished King Picus for rejecting her advances by turning him into a woodpecker. The character still survives through various modern interpretations (my personal favorite is the one from DC, where she’s a frequent enemy of Wonder Woman). Depictions of the sorceress range from her being a mischievous trickster who is more chaotic than truly evil, to her being an outright evil entity. As one of the longest-lasting examples of an antagonistic witch, she definitely deserves mention here.

16. The Other Mother, from Coraline.

While I count the Other Mother as a witch, since she has been classified as such in other sources, this character is sort of an iffy case. It’s not really clear what or who the Other Mother actually is. Alternatively referred to as “The Beldam,” she is a mysterious and otherworldly being who lives in a parallel world, where she lures unhappy children by pretending to be a nicer, more indulgent version of their actual mothers. The Other Mother creates a universe where the child will have everything they ever wanted, be able to go on all the whimsical adventures they could ask for, and where every person they know is now a much more interesting version of their real life selves. Once the child is “fattened up” with all this joy, the Other Mother convinces them to sew a pair of black buttons onto their face in place of their eyes. It’s not clear exactly what happens then, but once they obey, the Child’s soul belongs to the Other Mother, and she devours their bodies. In both the original novel, as well as the more famous animated movie adaptation (which, to its credit, stays largely true to the book), as time goes on throughout the story, the Other Mother’s appearance changes steadily, from looking identical to Coraline’s real Mom, to resembling some twisted, warped, disgusting monster that hardly resembles the real woman at all. Her origins, the nature of her powers, and even her EXACT motivations cloaked in mystery, the Other Mother is one of the creepiest characters on this list.

15. Witch Hazel, from Looney Tunes.

In contrast to the mind-numbing horrors of the previous choice, Witch Hazel is one of the most lighthearted contenders, and by far the most LITERALLY cartoony. First appearing in a parody of “Hansel and Gretel,” this hyperactive hag didn’t appear in a ton of cartoons, but she’s nevertheless fondly remembered. Most of the time, Hazel is looking for some hapless animal to cook into her stew for supper, or else seeking some sort of special ingredient for one of her many poisonous potions. While not especially bright, her powers and her tenacity make her a dangerous character. Hazel is largely entertaining because of just how EXCITED she always is: she’s almost always bouncing around from scene to scene, and clearly having a blast doing whatever she wants to do. Like many great cartoon villains, and especially those from the Looney Tunes library - similar to Wile E. Coyote or Sylvester the Cat - she never wins, but you almost want her to, simply because she’s so much fun to watch.

14. Mommy Fortuna, from The Last Unicorn.

While this haggard old hag (see what I did there, folks who know?) is a relatively small character in the story, her role is still important, and she’s easily one of the most memorable antagonists in the tale. “The Last Unicorn” was a fantasy novel written by Peter S. Beagle; it was later adapted into an animated feature film, produced by Rankin/Bass, with Beagle acting as the chief screenwriter and having a major role in helping to cast the picture. The plot of both the novel and the film is basically the same: a Unicorn, who believes she may be the last of her kind, leaves the secluded safety of her woodland retreat to try and find out what has happened to the rest of her species. Early on, she is captured by the wicked Mommy Fortuna: a witch who runs a traveling show called “The Midnight Carnival,” where she puts on displays of mythical beasts she has apparently captured with the help of her fellow showmen. It’s ultimately revealed that nearly all of Fortuna’s legendary creatures are mere illusions, as she uses her magic to make ordinary, rather shabby animals appear to be fantastic beasts. The Unicorn is one of only two actual, immortal beings she has successfully managed to ensnare. The other is the vengeful harpy, Celaeno. Fortuna has become obsessed with her capture of the harpy, and though she knows the Celaeno will literally be the death of her, she takes not only comfort but PRIDE in the fact that the creature will never forget the years she spent as the prisoner of the witch. The character was voiced in the film by Angela Lansbury, of all people; if you ever wanted to know what Mrs. Potts would sound like if she just completely lost her mind…well, first watch “Sweeney Todd,” then maybe take a look at this picture.

13. Jadis the White Witch, from The Chronicles of Narnia.

Inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Snow Queen,” the White Witch - a.k.a. Jadis, a.a.k.a. The White Queen - is the primary antagonist of two of the Narnia novels: the original story “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” and a later prequel tale, “The Magician’s Apprentice.” Though beautiful, she is thoroughly and horribly wicked: a vain sorceress whose heart is as cold as the icy winter she plunges Narnia into during her reign. Jadis is not only a highly gifted sorceress, but also incredibly strong physically, making her a particularly dangerous force to be reckoned with. Any who stand in her way are tortured, killed, or turned to stone; sometimes all of the above. She is capable of appearing kind and helpful at first, but only when it suits her needs to manipulate people to her side. While the White Witch is a very iconic villain (arguably more iconic than her inspiration, since most versions of the Snow Queen actually bear more resemblance to Jadis than anything from Hans Christian Andersen), I don’t necessarily automatically think of her when I think of the phrase “wicked witch,” so I’m ranking her somewhat lower. Make no mistake, however, she is a marvelous character, and worthy of placement.

12. The Grand High Witch, from The Witches.

Arguably one of Roald Dahl’s darkest children’s books (and that is saying a LOT, believe me), “The Witches” is a book all about…well…witches. In this universe, witches are not just treated as spellcasting crones, but rather almost as another species…a species of pure evil, who LOATHE children. Why do they loathe children? Because kids stink…literally. Witches find the scent of children so repellent, they will do ANYTHING to eradicate as many little boys and girls as they can from the planet. The most notable of the evil ladies in the story is their leader: a mysterious and diabolical figure known simply as the Grand High Witch. In both the book and each of the two feature film adaptations that have been released (one starring Anjelica Huston as the Grand High Witch, the other starring Anne Hathaway), the Grand High Witch presents herself at first as a beautiful, glamorous woman…but this is quite literally a mask. Underneath her disguise, she is a nightmarish beast, almost too repulsive to describe, with a voice that’s described as sounding like something crackling over a fire. Easily the most feared and powerful of all witches, she will quite literally fry those who dare question her authority, courtesy of white-hot beams of energy she can shoot from her eyes. She’s easily one of the most unsettling and frightening witches on the list, no matter which interpretation you look at.

11. Morgan le Fay.

One of the original dark sorceresses of literature and myth, Morgan le Fay ranks low because how wicked she is, and what kind of person she is, tends to vary depending on the adaptation or reimagining of Arthurian lore you actually look at. In some cases, Morgan is not really evil at all. In others, she is a cruel but elegant sorceress who will stop at nothing to achieve her evil ends. In still others, she is a more sympathetic villainess, whose dark deeds are fueled by tragedy, or who shows a noble side to her character beyond her diabolical actions. Even her name has changed: she’s been Morgan le Fay, Morgaine, Morgaine le Fay, Morgana, the list goes on. It’s the constant reinventions of Morgan that keep her out of the top ten, but they also showcase her single greatest strength: she is, almost without a doubt, the most famous villain in Arthurian legend (in the ones where she IS a villain), the only other possible exception to this rule being her son, the universally black-hearted Mordred. Arch-nemesis to both King Arthur and Merlin, as long as their stories are told and retold, Morgan will be following close behind in some fashion or another.

10. Witchiepoo, from H.R. Pufnstuf.

Another more lighthearted enchantress. A lot of you probably don’t know much about this character, if anything at all, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the (hilariously named) Witchiepoo, the main antagonist of the classic children’s series, “H.R. Pufnstuf.” The series focuses on the adventures of a young boy named Jimmy, who ends up stranded on the shores of a peculiar fantasyscape called Living Island. He works with the town’s mayor, the titular Pufnstuf, to keep peace across the isle, and foil the machinations of the villainous Witchiepoo, who forever schemes to - you guessed it - take over the world. Witchiepoo is about as cartoonish a witch you can get without being an ACTUAL cartoon; think Witch Hazel and then make her a live-action character, and you’ll have a rough idea. I got to see reruns of this series a lot growing up, and even owned a Witchiepoo plush toy as a child (sadly, I no longer have it), so this character has always had a soft spot for me. Much of the credit for her power as a character goes to her performer, the late Billie Hayes. She reprised the role in “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special,” where she was revealed to be the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West…which…I guess means Witchiepoo is the Wicked Witch of the East? (Wonder how she came back from having a falling house crush her spirit…AND her body.) Interestingly, Hayes also played a very similar character in the film “The Black Cauldron,” in the form of Orgoch, one of the Witches of Morva. I guess she just had a very specific and delightfully wicked type.

9. Bellatrix Lestrange, from Harry Potter.

While there are many witches, both good and bad, in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, arguably none are as delightfully wicked as Bellatrix Lestrange. (Please don’t bring Umbridge into this mess, I said DELIGHTFULLY wicked.) Bellatrix is one of the most notable antagonists of the series, both in the films and the books…which is funny, since she actually doesn’t appear till the last three novels, and, by extension, the last four films of the original Harry Potter movie series. Rotten to the core, this mad witch is arguably the single most devoted of Lord Voldemort’s Death Eaters - an army of dark wizards who wish to conquer the entire world. Some do it for love of carnage. Some do it because they believe they are superior beings. Bellatrix does it for both reasons. She is sadistic and ruthless, gleefully tormenting and killing anybody who crosses her. Her personality flips from a zany, childish madwoman to a vicious, psychotic killer at the drop of a hat. In a way, Bellatrix feels like a sort of crossroads between the archetypal nasty crone many Wicked Witches seem to be, and the more glamorous dark sorceress type you’ll find in characters like Morgan le Fay or Jadis. She’s not necessarily bad-looking, but she’s not all there…I would say that perfectly describes her mental state, but that would imply there was ever a good soul there to begin with. Unfortunately for Harry and his team, that’s not the case.

8. The Sanderson Sisters, from Hocus Pocus.

Well, you can’t have a list of great wicked witches without these three, in my opinion. This Halloweentime cult classic is largely remembered JUST for these characters; I don’t think too many people care that much about about Max, Dani, or…(thinks)...okay, maybe SOME people care about Thackery Binx, but certainly not as many as those who care about the Sanderson Sisters! These three evil spinsters were executed during the infamous Salem Witch Trials (apparently, not ALL of the victims were innocent). They were caught in the middle of a plot to consume the life force of every single child in the village. However, before they were hanged, they cast a spell that would summon them back someday from beyond the grave…and three hundred years later, in 1993, they get their chance. Winnifred, played by Bette Midler, is the leader of the group, being the smartest and most cunning. Mary (Kathy Najimy) is arguably the silliest of the trio (which is saying a lot), but has the best nose, being able to sniff out kiddy-winks like the Child Catcher. Sarah (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) is a childish airhead, with a salacious edge to her personality. All three have the power to mesmerize people with their voices, siren-style. The actresses find a great balance between being entertainingly goofy and actually quite creepy and dangerous when necessary. The film’s popularity has only continued to grow over the years, with it now having a Halloweentime show at Disney World, and a sequel film, where the Witches return a second time almost thirty years after their initial resurrection. This film delivered much of the same from the trio, but also gave them a more sympathetic side, showing that these sisters didn’t come from the best background, and, beneath all their bickering and pantomime antics, they truly did and still do love each other. Always fun to see that in villains.

7. Ursula, from The Little Mermaid.

Consistently voiced by the late, great Pat Carroll, this cecaelian Sea Witch is certainly a unique choice on the list. In the original story of “The Little Mermaid,” the Sea Witch is a mysterious but not necessarily malicious character. She’s not someone you want to cross, but she’s not truly evil. In Disney’s treatment of the story, however, Ursula is depicted as an almost Mephistophelean character: a wily witch who makes almost Faustian bargains with merfolk, offering them the things they want most…but always for a price. With the help of her pet eels - Flotsam and Jetsam - she then sets about rigging the stakes to her advantage. Ultimately, these deals typically result in her taking her client’s souls, as she transforms them into withered, sentient, eternally-tormented polyps in her undersea garden. Ursula’s plans seem largely based around her desire for power, as well as her yearning for vengeance against King Triton. (In some continuities, Triton is her brother…Scar approves.) However, she also clearly takes gleeful delight in simply causing trouble, making other merpeople miserable and relishing every moment of their despair. She’s widely considered one of Disney’s greatest villains, and for good reason; placing her in my Top 10 here is a no-brainer.

6. The Witch from Hansel & Gretel.

Much like Morgan le Fay, there have been many incarnations of this witch throughout history. However, unlike Morgan, whose levels of evil tend to fluctuate…pretty much EVERY version of this Witch is pure evil, and it’s not surprising why. In this classic fairy-tale, a pair of small children - typically abandoned in the woods by their cruel stepmother - stumble across a giant gingerbread house in a secluded part of the forest. There they meet a kindly old woman, living alone, who takes them in and offers the starving babes some food. Unfortunately, it’s quickly made clear this is a sham: the “nice old lady” is really a cannibalistic witch, who uses her tempting home as a way of luring in her favorite meals: silly children. Arguably her greatest weakness is her poor eyesight, but her other senses are so heightened it almost doesn’t matter. The brother and sister must then find a way to escape the evil crone, before they end up as her dinner. The story is one of the most well-known fairy-tales of all time, and has been adapted to film and television on numerous occasions. There’s even a rather popular children’s opera rendition of the tale, along with other theatrical productions. Some of my favorite people to play the Witch include Cloris Leachman, Rosie Perez, Joan Collins…and our old pal Billie Hayes. Yeah, Witchiepoo strikes again…like I said, Hayes must have had a VERY specific type. XD

5. The Weird Sisters, from The Scottish Play.

No, I’m not saying the title, because I’m not taking any chances. But if you know your Shakespeare, you’ll know which play I’m talking about. If you don’t, however, here’s a brief little summary: a Scottish nobleman, whom we shall call “MacB,” learns from a trio of witches - referred to commonly as “The Weird Sisters” - that he will become king. Urged on by his ambitious and dangerous wife, he decides to kill the current king and orchestrate things in such a way as to seize the crown for himself, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Still unsure of his security and power, however, MacB later visits the witches again…and it isn’t long till history repeats itself, this time much to MacB’s detriment. These witches are some of the most iconic in history; their famed chanting of “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble” has arguably become more well-known than the play itself, or their role in the story. While the Witches are evil in the story, their exact motives are unclear: they seem to be bringers of chaos, simply relishing in the chance to stir up trouble with their prophecies and teasing words, leading MacB and others on then sitting back and watching the madness unfold. Some versions give them a slightly softer veneer, making them seem more like strange wise women than malicious monsters. In some versions, in fact, there are more than three Witches, instead revealing a whole coven of cackling crones, concocting vile potions and practicing scary spells in the wilds of the world. Given that this is my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays, it stands to reason these famous enchantresses would rank highly for me, but there are still a few characters I like more.

4. Baba Yaga.

If there is a quintessential fairy-tale witch, I would argue the Russian crone known as Baba Yaga fits that bill. Predating even the witch from “Hansel & Gretel” (whom she may or may not have inspired), Baba Yaga is a figure of Slavic folklore, who has appeared in many stories over the years. She is described as an ancient hag with iron teeth, who lives in a hut that is able to move around on giant chicken legs. She flies around in an oversized mortar, with a crooked broom in one hand that she uses to sweep away her tracks. In many stories, Baba Yaga is depicted as an eater of children; sometimes she lures gullible ones into her lair, other times she kidnaps naughty children and whisks them away for her supper. Of course, she doesn’t restrain her appetite to JUST kids; those who displease the Baba Yaga run the risk of being her dinner regardless. However, she is not wholly unreasonable: in some stories, she’s depicted as being somewhat like the Sea Witch - making hard but not impossible deals with mortals for her own ends. There have been many depictions of this character over the years: from animated films like “Bartok the Magnificent,” to video games like “Castlevania: Lords of Shadow" and “Rock of Ages II,” to unrelated forms of literature like “Babushka Baba Yaga.” Some of these make the witch out to be a more sympathetic character who is merely misunderstood, while others stick to her as a purely evil villainess. Arguably the greatest bogey-story of witchcraft on this whole countdown, Baba Yaga has more than earned her place in my top five.

3. The Evil Queen, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

While I’m specifically talking about the Disney version here, one could easily give this placement to ANY version of the Evil Queen. In the original fairy-tale, it’s not clear if the Queen’s disguises are the work of magic or not, but considering all the other magical things around her - from the Poison Apple to the Magic Mirror to lesser-known elements - it’s not surprising many adaptations go the full monty, so to speak, and have her physically transform into a crooked old crone. Disney’s version was probably the first to take this approach, and remains the most famous. With this take on the character, you kind of get the best of both worlds with the spectrum of evil feminine spellcasters: as the Queen, she is cold, elegant, and darkly beautiful. As the Witch, she is a half-crazed, gnarled hag, complete with a cackling laugh. Both of her guises are iconic, and the scene where the Queen changes her shape for the first time is one of the most famous in the film. Like many of the other Disney Villains that would follow her, she is delightfully quotable, and set the bar many famous antagonists - including other witches - would later follow.

2. Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty.

DON’T START YELLING AT ME YET. I am very well-aware that Maleficent isn’t TECHNICALLY a witch, in the strictest sense of the word. She is a dark fairy; a member of the fae. HOWEVER, I’m still going to count her because a.) she still fits the basic bill of “humanoid enchantress of the diabolical sort,” and b.) she actually HAS been referred to as a witch, in Disney-made materials no less, on more than one occasion. When you combine that with the fact she’s one of my favorite villains of all time, I think I’m justified in giving her some inclusion. While Morgan le Fay is arguably the archetypal “wretched yet beautiful sorceress” figure (and Morgan, herself, has some fairy-based origins, I should add, at least in some versions), Maleficent is the character I most quickly think about when I consider the same character type. She is regal, grandiose, and refined, yet has monstrous power and an even more monstrous temperament. As an apparent entity of evil, she seems unable to find real joy in life except when she’s causing trouble for other people, and she takes her work VERY seriously. Since her debut, she has become one of Disney’s most noteworthy villains; in many spin-off materials, such as “Kingdom Keepers” and “Kingdom Hearts,” she is depicted as a leading member of the Disney Villains, and she is consistently treated as one of the most powerful and dangerous even in her most silly reinventions. How much she really counts as a “witch” can be debated till the dragons come home, but in my books, I feel she’s worthy enough to not only make the cut, but place VERY highly.

1. The Wicked Witch of the West, from The Wizard of Oz.

While Maleficent may be one of my favorite villains of all time, let’s face it: when you think of the phrase “Wicked Witch” - or, heck, probably even if you just think of the word “Witch” on its own terms - chances are high the first image that comes to your mind is this character. In the original L. Frank Baum “Oz” books, however, the Wicked Witch of the West is a relatively minor villainess: she’s just one of the many obstacles on Dorothy’s journey in the original story, and while she is arguably the most dangerous and iconic, she’s not the antagonist of the entire novel. In fact, after her infamous melting, she kind of just disappears from the series: she was an evildoer who came and went, nothing more. It was the advent of the 1939 Technicolor movie, which starred Margaret Hamilton in the role of the Wicked Witch, that made the character so popular. Much like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula or Boris Karloff’s Frankestein Monster, I feel that Hamilton’s Witch is sometimes overlooked for how EXCELLENT the performance really is; while not at all subtle, she isn’t treated like a joke in the original movie, she’s treated as a legitimate threat, and Hamilton does a great job at making her one. The popularity of the musical “Wicked” - loosely based on Gregory Maguire’s novel of the same name - I think has both bolstered and yet overshadowed Hamilton’s superb spellbinder: as much as I love Elphaba, I think people often forget or underestimate the true power of the original, TRUE Witch from the movie as a result. Other versions of the character have come and gone since, as well, but it’s this version that has remained immortal and the most influential. I see no reason not to name Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West as my favorite - and the definitive - Wicked Witch.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Mother Gothel, from Tangled. (Full disclosure, ALL of the HMs are related to Disney. Weird.)

Magica DeSpell, from DuckTales. (Both versions of her are great; very nearly made the cut.)

Mad Madam Mim, from The Sword in the Stone. (Relatively small role, but very fun.)

The Witches of Morva, from The Chronicles of Prydain. (They’re less wicked in the books than in the Disney film, “The Black Cauldron,” but I think they still fit.)

[the-fiction-will-knit-the-real]

Found a hole in the toe of one of my handknit socks today- pretty salty about it because I finished these socks less than six months ago, and they are literally my newest handknit socks. Madelinetosh Euro Sock yarn is failing me

Decided to spend the afternoon darning socks (the Madelinetosh pair plus another pair that I put aside last week - one of the first pairs I ever knit has developed holes after 3+ years). Been listening to Stephen King's The Shining on audiobook, since Peacock has been failing to let me watch figure skating

I absolutely love my little 14 prong Speedweve sock darning kit, I tried many other ways of fixing holes with the goal of blending in well with the knitting, but those always took too long to darn and didn't last as long. So I figured I'd go with "having few sock pairs waiting to be darned, but the darning doesn't blend in" over "darning blends in well, but never actually gets done because I hate the process of darning"

Honestly probably should have just thrown out the older pair of socks - first picture is the first sock sole fully darned (I had to weave 6 separate squares to cover all the holes and super-thin-and-worn-down sections), and second picture is the second sock (which I haven't darned quite yet, but shows a much less severe section of super worn-down yarn that isn't technically a hole yet, but will be at any moment if I don't reinforce it)

Also note how new the patched sections look compared to the 3+ year old worn sections - I'm honestly surprised I still even had the remaining yarn after knitting the socks years ago

Anyway, I'm less mad at the Madelinetosh socks now, as the toe holes are super small and easy fixes, and the rest of the sock sole is still in perfect shape. Here's me partially through the process of darning one of the holes on my Speedweve

[icy-book]

Now, Coach Darnell just wanted a fun little hiking trip for the school. Give the kids some exercise, let the parents be involved. It's free, they get to be in nature, and it's a perfectly lovely laid-back afternoon. Unfortunately for him, the entire Close-Foster-Freeman-Swift-Stephen-Stampler-Marlowe-Swallows-Oak-Garcia-Wilson-Actually-Likely-dear-god-how-many-last-names-do-these-people-have family decided to chaperone.

 Henry: We should go to [fairly far away trail] it's a prefect one for the kids

Carol: How are we going to get there though? The school doesn't have enough minibuses

Darryl: Well, Odessey-san could probably fit about a class and some parents and teachers

Mercedes: And the journey is less than an hour so we can use our no-emission fuel source

Glenn: Guess that means I'm riding with you guys, huh

Darnell, who only knows the Odessey as Darryl's rundown car the kiddads got kidnapped in that one time: Hold on, are you seriously suggesting that we try and fit 30+ people into a 30-something year old minivan that runs on a weird fuel source that you never name and has to be changed every hour, that for some reason only Glenn use?

TJ, completely missing the multiple problems: ... she's bigger on the inside

TJ: She can fit a class

 Sparrow will not stop picking up squirrels. No one knows how he's even able to get that close to them or why they don't freak out when he picks them up (the answer is druid powers). There's a picture of him holding twenty and surrounded by more on the school's socials.

 Grant: This hike will be a great opportunity to spend time with Lincoln's new friends and see what they're like

*Sees Link with a terrifying goth girl who acts just like Terry Jr as a teen (including hating her new stepdad), a weeb who has the exact same vocal mannerisms as Glenn and cool guy energy as Nicky, and clearly Normal Oak*

Grant: You know what, never mind, maybe we should go back to homeschooling him

 (Grant: *he's just like me fr meme /negative*)

 Darnell: I don't want a repeat of soccer camp '22, Terry Jr

TJ: I did absolutely nothing wrong

Darnell: You stuck Lark on top of the flat mast saying, and I quote, "Naughty children go on the pole"

TJ: And it got him to stop setting fire to the goal posts, didn't it?

 Every single one of the s1 parents made homemade snacks. Every. Single. One.

 Henry, ranting about nature and rocks: and you know the chasm we're walking by is actually made by a waterfall slowly eroding its own overhang and slowly moving backwards along the valley

Darryl: Henry, we do this trail once a month and you mention this every single time. I did take high school geography. I know how oxbow lakes are formed

Glenn in the background: the chasm we're walking by is also where I fucked your mom WOO

Samantha: I'm pretty sure Autumn was more likely to make love here with Ronnie than you, Glenn

Glenn: Damn, Sam, still bringing out the decade-old burns

 At one point, Nicky hurts his ankle (plus his asthma is acting up) so Terry just starts giving him a piggy back unprompted.

Lark: Hey Teej, can you carry me as well for a bit

TJ: no <3

Nicky absolutely did not need to be carried the entire rest of the trail, but what was he supposed to do? Tell Terry to put him down? Obviously not an option

(Terry also could easily have carried Lark too, he was just being petty. He also knew he could have stopped carrying Nicky after like, 10 minutes, but hey, Nicky wasn’t complaining, and maybe he liked being able to be this close to him again, sue him)

 They go to a milkshake diner place after the hike (which has vegan options to appease the Swallows-Oak-Garcias). Glenn and Morgan get those couples straws and you know this meme?

They both do the thing in the bottom picture, but they share the glasses that they put the bottom end of the straws into so it still ends up looking like the top picture. Alternatively, they only share one glass, and the other straw is in an individual glass. Which of course means they get into a whole Freddie-esque tangent/rant about why the middle glass needs to be twice as big because it's being consumed at double the rate of the other two

Jodie is not jealous at all as he watches this. Nope. Nuh-uh.

Scam and Mark somehow snuck onto the trip. No one knows how. Terry spends the entire diner celebration shooting the paper coverings that come with straws at takeout places at Mark because he still hasn't forgiven her for upsetting Ron

Poor Darnell just has to keep dealing with this weird-ass blend of 4, maybe 5, different families that just keep on happening. Unfortunate downsides of being Carol’s best friend

[the-ballad-of-johnny-goldfiddle]

The current members of The Bane Train and Superheroes that I think match them!

@sparrow-eats-kats - Supergirl (Kara Zor-El) - The Woman of Tomorrow is an absolute powerhouse within the DC Universe that can stand toe to toe with her notoriously powerful cousin, Superman. Sparrow and Supergirl both have life-altering events centering around their childhood being ripped away from them. These events required them to grow up very fast and without much guidance in a brand new world. They both also have to navigate the world somewhat within the shadow and influence of their very powerful family members.

@fiasco-of-freyglen - Human Torch (Johnny Storm) - The hottest-head on the Fantastic 4 by looks, personality, and also sheer temperature, The Human Torch is a near perfect match for our favorite rebellious sorcerer. The match is so good that is almost self-explanatory. But there's more than just aesthetics here, Storm grew up destitute on the streets on NYC after his mom was killed in a car accident and his father kicked him out on the street.

Johnny Goldfiddle - Gambit (Remy LeBeau) - A smooth talking, gambling, hot-head with a southern draw who throws explosive playing cards, wears a weird head accessory, and grew up in a gang of thieves to soon become the leader because the patriarch of the thieve's guild retired. I didn't realize how close these two's backstories were until making this post. The only things separating the two characters at this point is a silver quarterstaff.

@varina-has-a-gun - Wonder Woman (Princess Diana of Themyscira/Diana Prince) - Born from clay in the image of a literal Greek god, Diana has been winning feats of strength and agility since she was born among a lineage of warrior women on the mystical nation of Paradise Island. She had to fight EVERY SINGLE ONE of them to gain the famous lasso and uniform best associated with Wonder Woman. Both are from an alternate world to the mortal plane (Feywild/Themyscira), the two fight and move each step with the force that could move a mountain. They embrace strength wherever they can find it and are foundational in the crossing boundaries to gain new relationships. They both speak with authority and great composure. When Wonder Woman talks about politics, war, battle strategy, or even just breakfast, people most definitely listen. Same thing with Varina.

@bath-creek-lake - Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) - A air-force pilot given superpowers from an alien superhero's machine explosion made Carol Danvers one of the most powerful Marvel heroes the universe has ever seen. She is a bastion of perseverance and has shot up on the list of morally upright good characters in the Marvel Universe on the level of Spider-Man and Captain America. On teams where Captain Marvel is prominent, she will become the sort-of moral compass to help the team accomplish their goal. She's so steadfast in her morals that she was the opposition to Tony Stark in Civil War II. Lake and Carol both emulate and radiate that every step forward is a step in the right direction.

@lionel-the-librarian - Doctor Strange (Dr. Stephen Strange) - The Sorcerer Supreme (even though by D&D standards he is most definitely a wizard) and Protector of The Eye of Agamotto, Doctor Strange is the most formidable magic user on Earth 616. Like Lionel, he's nosy and witty but makes it worthwhile with his seemingly endless depths of arcane knowledge. They both also have some experience with handling live human organs.

[azure-steel]

So I watched AC again for like the billionth time a couple of days ago, and after an in-depth conversation with @ghostofnibelheim/ @roleplay-abiogenesis2 about it I've been thinking about it a whole lot since.

Like, I know the remnants are supposed to represent the difference facets to Sephiroth's personality;

Kadaj: Ruthless, cunning and vindictive. Incredibly intelligent making him the brains of the outfit.

Yazoo: quiet yet charming. Very attractive, Cool calm and eerily collected.

Loz: strong, tunnel visioned, immature, overly emotional and sensitive due to immaturity.

At least without looking it up that's what I get from their characters. They are all very extreme representations of everything that makes Sephiroth, well... Sephiroth.

But then there's Cloud whom they refer to as their "Big Brother" and "Black Sheep" even though his relationship with Jenova and Sephiroth as a whole is vastly different. Not a remnant as such, but a clone and the first and only largely successful one at that considering that it's stated in lore that Sephiroth's DNA cannot be replicated. But like, Cloud isn't a true clone as such, he's just been brutally tampered with to hold parts of Sephiroth/Jenova inside him which is where Sephiroth's obsession with him comes from.

Reunion is the mass joining of all of Jenova's parts to make the whole and Jen!Sephiroth needs the missing pieces Cloud harbours to make that whole. I mean I'm telling you what we already know, I'm just attempting to make it all make sense again in this rambling theory we have here.

Because the Remnants lack the ability to pinpoint where they need to look for Jenova's head in the movie. They know that's their goal, and they have the knowledge to know where to look for clues, but no direct attraction to the calamity's exact location where as Sephiroth did have this instinct about him, as does Cloud to a lesser degree. He knew what to do, and where to go, Jenova's goal etc. The remnants don't and rely on other sources to tell them their next step.

But it isn't until Kadaj gets a hold of Jenova's remaining cadaver that he's able to summon Sephiroth but... Is that really him? Or is this Jenova shape shifting again and showing Cloud what he fears and hates the most? (A bit like Stephen King's IT where the creature feeds on fear and and morphs into the things that you fear the most) or is Sephiroth and Jenova so interlinked now that there's no discernable difference anymore?

Because I always struggled with this part of the story. Crisis Core showed us that Sephiroth was actually a good man, with good morals. He didn't agree with his orders and actions but felt he had no control over them. Orders were orders and he'd been so heavily indoctrinated by ShinRa from a very young age to just do as he's told when he's told to do it.

It wasn't until Genesis literally sprouted a wing and flew away that he grasped the notion that being a free man was even a possibility and planted that seed. But even then, he just talked about "quitting" and getting away rather than destroying everything. He showed little to no signs of mental instability, only that he was desperately lonely and extremely unhappy in his situation.

Nibelheim happened so very suddenly. One minute he's of sound mind and the next he's utterly insane. The descent into that insanity was so incredibly short (where no one tried to help or even attempt to relate to his better nature of which he DID have one. You did Sephiroth so fucking dirty here, Squeenix...) that I feel we're lead to believe that he just gave up after finding out the truth which gave Jenova that chance, in Sephiroth's moment of weakness, to take over. I'm sorry, but ain't NO WAY this man, so calculated in his assumptions despite how sheltered he is would suddenly just be like I'M CETRA NOW LETS KILL EVERYTHING. It makes absolutely no sense.

But again, come AC we're again being forced fed the notion that Sephiroth is the one in control, that he's so intune with Jenova that he can continue to respawn and cause devestation because the planet can't digest him when he enters the lifestream...

... Apart from the fact that it actually CAN!

See, after the fight in AC, when Kadaj returns and is dying in Clouds arms, Aerith calls to him, and he is accepted into the flow of the lifestream, which tells me that the parts which make up the remnants are actually human, not alien. These extreme facets of Sephiroth are what made him HUMAN and NOT Jenova. That the two are so closely knitted together that the lifetream cannot split them apart on its own hense why Sephiroth is constantly being rejected by the lifestream, not just because he has a strong will to survive and exact Jenova's bidding, but also because his make up is so very complex, thus giving him this pseudo immortality as it were.

I mean, Angeal never came back, maybe that was a simple case of just not wanting to? I don't know at this point.

But my point is that I believe the remnants do not have Sephiroth's reunion instinct because their make up is wholly human, because Sephiroth was actually conceived naturally and birthed to a human mother despite being tampered with in the womb. But he was still a person before the hatred and the crazy and the remnants show us that.

[siremasterlawrence]

The Town House

andon Routh is at a hot spot top tier major Hollywood red carpet event with a gold gate trimming the area as he exits the limousine on to the carpet as he smirks brightly the flash of the camera and the lights dancing on the glass door. The crowd is roaring with excitement jumping up with love for this hot sexy actor who stops to wave his hands in the air the reporters move in one with a microphone and the camera man taking a picture after another. Soon the lights go off the flash does something to him all he can hear us ping in his ear. The room goes to dark leaving him inactive till his eyes pop open and he is in odd bedroom with a familiar guy watching him.

“You..you were in the crowd…”

“Yeah I was I am yours Master”

“Master?”

“Welcome home”

“Tom Ellis! Hey over here “

“Damn paparazzi “

“Sssshhhhhh!”

“Get off of me”

“Prick….nighty night”

“Oh Wait! Nnnnoooo STOP”

“Mwahahahahaha “

“Jerk”

“Whatever! You want to believe Tommy boy”

“Ok be of use Brandon”

“I’ll pick him up”

“Let’s go”

“In to the home”

“On to the slab”

“Strip him of his clothes”

“Rise to your feet”

“Kneel”

“Suck me off”

Daddy Ian is my type of man so cocky, sexy, tight, tough and arrogant with a cigarette in his mouth he puffs a bit blowing out smoke from his mouth.

I can see the pure utter disgust for me in his face he blows on me as I wipe it away from the air and then coughs so loud he is back up.

His back hit the wall as I slid down to the isle room my back hurts when leaping up to take him down as I tackle him to the floor and I am rumble him up.

I pin him down to the floor using my palm to smash his cigarette in to his mouth as he gags a bit the cigarette lifts into the air in a dive into his nose.

The other half blows back in to his throat so deep I let the cigarette dissipate into Smoke like nothingness he coughs losing him in a fit.

He stares me down in angry rage as I burst laughing in a fit of giggles his mind empties completely in a sea do cloudy smoke and a mess.

The man eyes close falling backwards to the ground hitting his head the blood curls out of it and I assume absolute control over his mind.

Soon his body lift back up into the air he is a loss all he can do is stare at me in lust, need and love as desire he is my world now and so consumes.

I walk over to him digging my body into his

I inhale all of his scent as all he can do is listen to me as I am his life’s goal to obey me.

“Tom the police detective arriving at my home”

“How can I help you?”

“Say something “

“I know you are up to something “

“Please come in”

“Don’t play with me”

“I am not “

“Give me your heart “

“Excuse me”

“I said give me your heart “

“Why did you prick me?”

“Ascend to control”

“Blow me a kiss “

“I will never…never”

“Submit “

“Yyyeeesss”

“Kneel and obey “

“Yes Master”

“Master! Meet your new slave “

“Hi, I am Stephen “

The end

[ljjsims]

Greek Goddess Legacy Challenge: Generation #8 Amphitrite: Completed

Following the sun to another kingdom: Meet our queen of the Sea, Amphitrite!

You love dancing around with your friends and partying with them! Being young is a gift and you take full advantage of it in the city, going out every weekend. Your friends start getting in relationships, but you are not in a hurry. You know love and family is something that comes naturally. The person you marry should feel like your best friend. You should build your home with that person. So when you meet Poseidon, you decide not to marry him when he asks you. You barely know him! But he doesn’t seem to be giving up. And giving up everything to marry someone should count for something too. Right?

Little bit explanation with the sheets: - First sheet is for describing your current generation, with the challenges you need to do each life-stage. Also, because I love the myths, a bit of mythological background. May it inspire you :) - Second sheet is the preparation sheet for this generation, with important characters for your story. It is technically optional, but I love seeing sims with a backstory in my world, so I would highly recommend it. - Third sheet is for your gens children. They all have their own little challenges if your interested in those. I try to make all of them a bit different from each other, so it doesn’t get boring. Your heir is also on this sheet, but I’ve put their challenges on their own sheets. Stay tuned for those ;) - Fourth sheet is completely optional. If you want sims with names from the myths and love making sims to see them in your world, this is for you! All with a little mythological background ofc, you know me.

Next Generation is Nemesis! Previous Generation was Athena First Generation is Gaia

The Greek Goddesses Challenge by LJJ-Sims is a challenge based on the ancient mythical creatures and stories from Greece. I fell in love with Greek mythology in high school and have not let that love go since. In this challenge you will follow 10 deities in their journey through life. Every goddess has a different take on and goal in life. Special about this challenge?  All your kids have little challenges of their own, not only your heir. These challenges are optional, so if you feel like these are too much or just too restricting for you: by all means let them go. I also have sheets for characters that you can make before you start each generation. This gives your challenge a lot more personality and makes it frankly easier and more fun!

A little disclaimer: because I made these gods and goddesses into a legacy challenge, the relationships in the myths don’t exactly match the relationship in this challenge. There is a lot of keep it in the family in mythology, to put it lightly. And apart from the fact that you can’t do that in the Sims, I don’t really like that part. So I didn’t include it, thus the inconsistency. An example: Ares is now Hera’s stepfather instead of her son, which she conceived with her brother  and husband Zeus. This inconsistency can also be found in the stories. It’s just based on and not copied exactly, as Sims live lives that are a lot shorter than those of immortal gods. And it takes a way from the creativity if we just copy the myths. Even if we wanted to do that, it’s quite hard, as every myths has its fair share of variations and some are just completely different stories.

I use the MCCC-mod to alter the length of life states. You can find the days-years ratio here: the boring stuff.

I get all the information from several sites about mythology, but mostly use https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net/goddesses. This is a great place to start if you want to know the myths surrounding a certain god or goddess. Wikipedia is also a friend of mine in this challenge, although I automatically doubt a lot of information that is on there. More of a book person? I absolutely adore Stephen Fry's Mythos, which is very beginner friendly, and Nathalie Haynes Pandora's jar. For little synopses of gods, I would recommend Greek Mythology: The Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes Handbook by Liv Albert.

[subconsciousmysteries]

Taylor Swift is a 2 (and some information on type 3)

I am once again making this post about this topic. Truly am I crazy? Am I the only one who can't see Taylor Swift as a 3? There's like a cult for the case that she's a 3... really people what am I missing? I've only seen the arguments "she's image focused" and "she's ambitious about her career." The first thing is something that could apply to the whole image triad. The second thing means that every world famous artist who worked hard for their spot is a 3.

The case for Taylor being a 2 is self evident, the case for her not being a 3 is that she doesn't brag or gloat, she doesn't talk about career in her music, she doesn't talk about success and fearing failure, and she doesn't make the drama and conflict in her art impersonal. These are the things that you will see if you're looking at the art of a core 3. If you don't see at least one of these things it's probably not a core 3.

If you're wondering what I mean by "making the art impersonal" look at Lady Gaga, who sings about a lot of love dramas that aren't her own life. Alejandro and Telephone are the best examples. When listening to any Lady Gaga song, and when watching any Lady Gaga music video, I never get the feeling that I'm listening to a piece of Lady Gaga's life story. I feel like I'm watching an opera where she's the director, the writer and lead actress. That's what making it impersonal means. Compare that to Taylor Swift who always sings about her own relationships and experiences.

To see 3s, look at the rap genre (save for emorap) where they brag obnoxiously about how they're better than the other rappers and that's the whole song. See superego 3s (31x and 36x), like Marina. Superego 3s are less braggy and rude to others than the id and withdrawn 3s, but they still don't sing about their relationships and boys they broke up with. they sing about themselves and their career and their success and their fears of failure and the way they approach love coldly like a game (Lady Gaga does this too, see Lovegame and Paparazzi). 3s like Lady Gaga sing about dramatic plays. 3s are often into drama, into putting on costumes and playing roles that clearly aren't them, because it's a healthy way to engage in their vice of Deceit. Acting and drama is a way for 3s to engage in the emotional, people-based nature of the heart triad without being too personalized and vulnerable about it.

3 cores find the personal relationship drama to be embarrassing to talk about. 3-wings and 3 fixes might talk about it a lot in their music; 3 cores will avoid discussing it publicly. 3 cores have a strong "the show must go on" attitude, stronger than any other type except for maybe 7. 3s are the most self-conscious type when it comes to appearing emotionally soft and fixated on their past. Their goal is to speak to everybody and be influential to everybody (this is what "success" ultimately is, isn't it?), so if they absolutely must whine about their personal life wounds publicly, they will try to make it impersonal and turn it into some broader public issue. 3s will never, ever project the image of a self-absorbed, whiny princess fixated on their own personal drama, at least not by their own will -- to be seen this way is a 3's worst nightmare. Being so emotionally self absorbed is the definition of being a "loser", to 3s. 3s are trying to project the image of competency, of being above all that icky gooey emotional stuff like their own relationship drama. I simply can't see a 3 core writing something like All Too Well or getting famous off of writing break up songs to Stephen about how mean he was to her and how much he broke her heart. Taylor Swift takes pride in her whiny breakup song princess image, or at least she did back in the day.

[A fun note here is that 3-fixes usually talk about their careers a lot, yet they are not as strict as the 3 cores about avoiding emotionally vulnerable expression which touches on their personal life]

A lot of new fans who only hear Taylor's new, slowcore, more reflective stuff think she's a 3w4 or 4. which is bloody hysterical to me. as soon as people get on the "my fave artist is a 4 cuz they're #deep" train I start laughing at them freely cuz it's so cliche. Cliche and basic like Taylor Swift was for 15 years before she started integrating to 4 in her music.

[anonymousad]

Shelterwood: a follow-up and apology

someone reached out to me after publishing my Shelterwood crowdfunding post with some very valid stuff that I want to address. they mistakenly sent it non-anonymously (something I confirmed with them before just responding to the Ask), so in the spirit of keeping things unidentifiable around here I am going to screenshot the entire message (so you can know I'm not selectively cutting anything out) and then I'll respond to it in chunks:

A Genuine Apology

so let's start with the first chunk of text:

I'm going to be straight with you: while there were absolutely some points you made about the Shelterwood crowdfund that I agreed with, like how unreasonable the goal seemed for a show produced by a novice showrunner, something's really sticking out here. That thing is that Stephen Indrisano and Nigel McKeon are both young, white, non-binary novice showrunners who secured some high-billing talent and picked unreasonably high crowdfunding goals, but you treated one of them with a lot of grace and understanding... and then turned around and not only accused the other of essentially being the problem with the current state of podcasting, but also called them cis in the process despite having acknowledged their pronouns earlier in your write-up. That was... certainly something. It's almost like you had a specific point you wanted to make, so you just sort of conveniently forget that Stephen is non-binary to make it. That or you don't actually think Stephen is non-binary and were engaging in some passive-aggressive gatekeeping, which also sucks, just in a different way.

this is 100% something I fucked up on, I will readily admit that. my accidental erasure of Stephen's identity as a non-binary person is not okay, intentional or not.

I wrote the initial post gradually over the course of just over a week, top to bottom, and then did a quick skim of it at the end to make sure things were still up-to-date in accordance with any updates to the campaign itself. a result of this is that between when I started the post (where I included Stephen's pronouns of "he/they)" and when I was writing some of the later parts I had forgotten this. I think part of the reason is that the campaign is not really about Stephen, so it isn't like there are consistent references to him as an individual. in the few places there are, such as the intro section of the main text and the FAQ, "he" is used exclusively, which I think mistakenly put that in my mind as Stephen having a male gender identity because I hadn't seen a self-identification as being non-binary on their website or Twitter. but someone deciding to use a specific set of pronouns in the text of something like this (to avoid confusion or for any other reason) does NOT invalidate their use of other pronouns elsewhere. similarly you don't have to outwardly proclaim your gender identity for it to be respected and not assumed as cis.

I am genuinely very sorry about this, it was a mistake and I am in the process of editing the original post to reflect Stephen's proper gender identity.

now then.

let's talk about the difference between Nigel (Among the Stacks) and Stephen and the way I approached them, because you're right that there was a difference.

I think a key way that these two projects differ is that one of them was very clearly made by someone who didn't know what they were doing and was in over their head. Among the Stacks was a clear trainwreck from the moment they started revealing how bloated the cast and crew were. I had many conversations with other creators during that early time where we were all wondering how this thing could function with so many cooks in the kitchen, and how you could have a coherent story with that many characters. it was clearly a product of someone new and over-excited who didn't have a real idea of how to do what they were dreaming of.

in contrast, Shelterwood seems to be genuinely well-thought out and approached like it was created by someone who has done their research and been part of the community for a while. it has a full concept with a clearly outlined size and goals and is a very realistic sounding first project. if it weren't for the goal and the rewards we wouldn't be talking about it at all. as a pitch it is perfectly reasonable.

I went a bit easier on Nigel because just from looking a lot of us could tell that Among the Stacks was going to end in disaster. we didn't know when or how, just that there was no way a project like that could actually succeed. I also knew from interactions between Nigel and other people that she was not very good at taking critique or hearing other people out on stuff that they didn't agree with. I went into that post with the intention of being harsh but fair, because I wanted Nigel to hear what I had to say and LISTEN. not just brush it off as "someone is jealous of my amazing idea and so they are being mean". I was still a bit mean in that post at some parts, I will admit that. my tone can swing a bit far on the sarcastic side, especially the longer I spend on a given post digging into things.

Shelterwood is full of people who should know better, something that it makes a point to brag about. it isn't just one person's dream project that they don't know how to wrangle, Stephen is clearly a proficient showrunner to have pulled all of this together (and I do genuinely find the show's concept to be interesting, even if I didn't really communicate that in the post as much as I could have). Stephen has ALSO been around the block a few times in regards to working on audio dramas, whether or not they have helmed their own. this means that from the start my expectations for them were higher.

my goal was not to accuse Stephen of being "the problem", but I think that this campaign is INDICATIVE of a lot of the "the problems" going on right now with audio drama crowdfunding.

I did seriously think about pulling the last section into a completely separate post, but what I wrote applies to the context of this campaign and so I felt it was important to have that connection. if I had been able to fully communicate my thoughts on it before now, say for the Arden campaign, it would have been part of that post. but it took me a lot of time to get those words down in a way that actually communicated what I think the problem is.

I know having it as part of the Shelterwood post has an implication, and the implication is correct that this campaign is PART of the problem, but it isn't the whole problem.

It's also very weird that you lumped Shelterwood, Arden, Among the Stacks and Afflicted in with The Magnus Protocol, which was on an entirely different level. They're not comparable. Not a single one of those first four shows actually made their crowdfund goals. In Afflicted's case, the all or nothing state of the crowdfund means 100% of that money was returned to backers. The Among the Stacks crowdfund was cancelled. Which means that for 50% of your given examples, literally none of that money ended up tied up in those shows rather than being contributed to other, smaller shows. This is not comparable with The Magnus Protocol crowdfund situation, and I think you know that.

it's 100% true that The Magnus Protocol is on a whole other level than these other campaigns, I said as much in my write-up. it is not comparable and I wasn't attempting to compare nearly $1 million USD to $26,000.

what I was attempting (and may have failed) to do was to point out that what Rusty Quill did was change the playing field for the worse. when looking at those two numbers you can much more easily make attempts to justify the high goals being asked for here, because in comparison that's downright reasonable to what they raised.

as a note: TMP had a funding goal of £15,000 (approx. $19,500 USD). so they weren't actually asking for hundreds of thousands of dollars to make 3 seasons of a show. in fact, what they asked for is less than the campaigns I'm trying to call out here. that Kickstarter has a lot of things that were suspect about it and felt slimey and exploitative, but the asking price was not really one of them.

however.

just because they didn't ASK for that much money doesn't mean they didn't know it would happen (maybe not to that extent, but still). this still had the same impact, which from what I can tell is making some people think that audio drama crowdfunding is for making a profit.

as for the next point about none of the shows except for TMA 2 hitting their goals:

the amount they are walking away with isn't really the point.

at the end of the day, it's about the fact that the more stuff like this happens, the more it is NORMALIZED. and these kinds of goals getting normalized is harmful.

as an example, in the world of video games there is something called "microtransactions". for anyone who doesn't know, these are additional, small purchases you make in a game that you often have already paid upwards of $60-70 USD for. in the beginning, they were marketed as "just cosmetic" and not going to impact gameplay. and so people didn't fight back too hard when EVERY game started implementing them. but of course, what that did was move the bar. it normalized people paying extra money on top of their purchase for something that used to be included for free with a game. and so the companies started pushing the needle further. and further.

now, this isn't a direct parallel for a lot of reasons, but when greed is being put forward as normal again and again (even when it continues to result in failure) it starts to cement it as something "normal". something to be expected.

the larger problem here is that these are unsustainable amounts of money to be trying to get out of the community.

which connects to this next section:

Speaking of The Magnus Protocol, there's also an assumption being made here that someone deprived of the option of helping one of these shows reach their crowdfund goal is automatically going to donate to another show... and I need you to remember that The Magnus Protocol's final tally was something stupid like 4000% of their original goal. Lower crowdfunding goals don't stop people from contributing once that goal has been reached. People just keep donating to that project. None of those people were donating to make sure the thing got made- they were donating because they liked The Magnus Archives, and the hard to swallow pill here is that that doesn't mean they would've contributed to other crowdfunds otherwise. I have my own issues with The Magnus Protocol thing. But the statement that that crowdfund snatched money out of the pockets of smaller shows by having an unreasonably high goal just straight-up does not hold water. That's nothing. It's 4000% less than nothing. You're allowed to be mad that that campaign got such a ridiculous amount of funding when so many smaller shows are struggling. You don't need to couch it in pseudo-logic to justify feeling that way. We're all mad about it. It's okay.

this is definitely a good call-out, this person is right that someone not donating to one campaign does not mean that money will go to another. in a lot of cases, the only reason someone sees a campaign is because it is being promoted by the things they already like (in The Magnus Protocol's case that obviously being The Magnus Archives), and that means they probably aren't going to be choosing between every campaign that is out there and deciding where their $5 is going to go. they might just as easily pocket it and buy a nice coffee the next day.

and that absolutely sucks, because it would be nice for the love that some people have towards specific shows to be something that extends to the whole medium.

but I do think there's something to be said for feeling like even a small donation is making an impact. I would feel kind of bad to only be able to give $20 towards a $10k+ goal, it isn't even a drop in the bucket towards what is needed and if I care enough to donate to something I do want it to succeed. but that same $20 to a campaign only asking for $3000? that's a lot more tangible of an impact. enough so that I could feel good about splitting that $20 between two projects maybe.

that isn't 100% the point of what you were saying, I know that. the reality is that not everyone in this community has a general investment in the success of others.

I think where that becomes the biggest problem is when some people only seem to have an investment in themselves, and no one else. that's where these things become problems, when the larger needs of the community are ignored for the sake of a few who repeatedly succeed.

I'm kind of bleeding a bit into my response to the next part, so here that chunk is:

And do I agree that we as a community need to start talking about what is and is not realistic when it comes to crowdfunding? Yeah, absolutely. You have a point there. That's a valuable and timely observation and I'm glad somebody said it. Unfortunately, the value of that point was absolutely buried by the extremely obvious fact that this time, in this case, something about this project is personal for you. I don't know what it is specifically, but I do feel the need to ask: You are aware that Tal Minear is involved in the show as a graphic designer and minor actor, right? They have nothing to do with the crowdfund or the rest of production. Their name being attached doesn't mean they're secretly running the show. This is not Tal's show. They'd be credited as a producer if they were that involved. So why do you feel the need to keep bringing them up? Anyway, it's extremely difficult to take your analysis in good faith when it's so transparently motivated by some sort of personal distaste for somebody/the people in the project, and that's a shame, because some of the things you're saying have value.

I certainly didn't shy away from pointing a bit of a finger at Tal Minear for promoting this ideology, among others. their clear involvement in this project makes me immediately more suspicious, because Re: Dracula was a self-admitted cash grab. and that stain on their character is not going to go away for me.

it's less that it's "personal" for me, and more that this is a figure in the community that I have repeatedly seen presented as an expert that MUST be listened to. including by themself. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the matter of crowdfunding.

now, if I were friends with someone like that AND they were involved with my project that was about to have a campaign, would I not lean on that resource? even just for advice on how to put it together and what needs to be included. Tal just wrote a small little article for Descript that has some very generic crowdfunding tips, so they are arguably the most knowledgeable person involved in the campaign to go to for advice and feedback.

I know for a fact that Tal has given crowdfunding advice unsolicited to people running campaigns, usually in the form of asking why crew is not being paid appropriately (a valid question in most cases where actors tend to get a huge portion of the budget). so I can't imagine a world where they didn't give at least a little input to a friend for a show that they are actively involved in.

I don't think they are running anything behind the scenes, no, Tal is not part of some audio drama Illuminati. but I do recognize the high esteem to which they are held by MANY community members.

my goal was to call out the culture that has grown around audio drama crowdfunding, and the ways that I've seen it hurting most people who attempt to do it. I have noticed that Tal is a big part of what has normalized that.

as for the ways in which I brought them up, yeah I like to be a bit snide and I probably laid it on a bit thick. it's easy to get carried away in these things, especially towards someone that I am admittedly not a huge fan of.

that is the extent to which it could be considered "personal" for me, but I understand if you don't believe that or if that still had too much of an impact on taking the rest of what I said seriously. that is your choice and I respect it, it's just very difficult for me to separate out their involvement given what I know outside of this.

You're just completely undercutting that value by surrounding it with so much pointless nitpicking and snideness. What happened to "#but actually my intention is to be thoughtful and not mean"? You claim to be acting in the interest and defense of the community, but as the creator of a small podcast that nets me absolutely zero profit, I'm not feeling it. This feels like it's about you, not the rest of us.

this is absolutely fair.

I am just one person at the end of the day. I've talked to others, discussed the situation surrounding this campaign and others like it with them, but I am the one typing it down and inserting my voice and my take on it.

as such, I am not going to be a perfect mouthpiece for everyone's thoughts about this stuff.

I WANT to be one that is largely beneficial, however.

sometimes I lean a bit heavy into the snideness for the sake of keeping things interesting; these write-ups are LONG and as a writer I recognize you have to do something to keep people engaged so they actually absorb what you are saying.

is that the right approach? probably not for everyone, but it is part of a reflection of my own voice that it comes out like this.

"#but actually my intention is to be thoughtful and not mean" is something I wrote, something that I still want to keep in mind but sometimes I fail at that. in this case, I found it hard to stick to.

repeatedly seeing campaigns like this is disheartening to me, it wears me out. there is an amount of what a lot of people might see as "bitterness", but it's not really about any specific project or person.

I think my massive fucking rant at the end of that post about capitalism ruining audio dramas with the need to make money unsustainably says a lot about how I feel about the current financial state of the world. a lot of that "bitterness" is from this deep rage towards to the system, directed outwards where it can be. maybe the flow of it was a bit strong on this one, but it is still an accurate reflection of the way that I see things.

note, an accurate reflection to ME. it's okay if it isn't accurate to you, that's part of why the conversations need to happen.

part of why I do the math breakdowns for the budget is to help myself try and get a grasp on what those numbers mean. the human brain is not really formatted to understand large quantities of things, especially something that is usually intangible in those high amounts like money. I also do it because I want to give someone the opportunity to say "actually, you're wrong because this does add up. you are just missing part of the picture."

I know the way I approached this might come off as defensive, that's not my intention. I decided to break it down like this so that no one would think I'm trying to skip over feedback or ignore certain points that make me look bad.

everything that this person said to me is a valid response to what I wrote, including the things I pushed back on.

I am very grateful that they reached out to me, and I want to continue the conversation. ESPECIALLY if they feel that I did not hear them here.

my responses are just that. a response. they are not a claim of being right or these reactions being unjustified. we are all only in our own heads, and the conclusions we come to are usually based in rationality. my mind is open to being changed, I want to see as full a picture as possible.

if you disagree with what I've said, that is fine.

if you agree with what I've said, that is fine.

if you aren't sure, that is also fine.

we're talking about something complex and nuanced and just because I'm the one bringing these things up doesn't mean I have the RIGHT opinion or that I am the person who SHOULD be saying it.

there is a reason that I am anonymous here, and it's mostly because the conversation is more important than who is speaking.

as always, my inbox and Asks are open.

feedback welcome, I mean that.

[sportingdynamo]

Sporting Dynamite: The team making an impact

Goals at one end, fighting at the other. Sporting Dynamo play some of the best Sunday league football in Leicestershire. It’s their no-nonsense attitude however, that has put them in the nations spotlight. Yellow on their skin but red in their blood, Stephen Graham lives in this small town but it’s Dynamo showing why This is England. 

The 2023/24 Sporting Dynamo team in the new away kit.

Asked to describe the team, Club Secretary Harry Taylor said: “It’s took a long time to get to where we’re at now, but these lads play 2024 football with a 2000’s attitude, if you know what I mean. The beautiful game needs monsters and we provide exactly that.” 

Last season saw Dynamo bring home silverware to the town of Ibstock, Leicestershire, for the first time since 2014. Even more surprisingly, they manged it on two occasions.  

Leading up to April, they found themselves top of the league and a semi-final away from reaching the Arthur Moore Cup Final, in their way, Oadby Owls. 2-2 in normal time saw the cagey affair go to extra time. Oadby hit the woodwork twice before winger Giorgio Stylianou wrapped it into the top right corner sealing Dynamo's date with destiny.

The 28th of April would prove to be a day in the history books as a dominant 3-0 display, crowned them Arthur Moore Cup champions against a hardworking CFA (Community Football Academy) team.

A scent of a second piece of silverware in the Billy Walton cup spread like a virus on the fifth of May and as the sun set, Dynamo battled hard against Sileby Athletic. 1-1 at halftime meant everything was to play for but despite the yellow flares that engulfed the pitch, defender George Ludlam only saw one colour. Red. Shortly after Sileby grabbed a second, all but securing the cup. Dynamo defeated; despair drowned out the short-lived victory of the previous week, but all was not done. 

Cup sorrows had to be paused as just 2 days after, Dynamo needed to defeat rivals Braunstone Athletic if they were to keep their league dreams alive. 89 minutes on the clock. 0-0. Up stepped Richard Lewis with a buzzer beater. Coolest man on the pitch. Keepers head in hands. Absolute chaos. One game to go. 

A final day, nitty-gritty 0-0 meant Dynamo double dreamland, on goal difference, against all the odds.

“Since I came here in 2018, we've not had a team with this kind of ability so to have done it on the last day, after the trouble we had in the Sunday Cup, I think we deserve it” added Taylor.  

A point deduction was given to Dynamo after tempers flared between the two sets of fans in the FA Sunday Cup against Nottingham based Poets Young Boys FC. They fell to a 4-2 loss, but this wouldn't be the last time they'd come across cup drama. 

The 23/24 has brought new challenges as the team aim to add to last season's silverware. 

“I could not be prouder of them for what they did last season, and neither could those who support them from the sidelines. This season's achievements again show the huge strides we’ve made as a collective.” Taylor said, when talking about how far the club has come, and he's not wrong.

The Dyna have gone unbeaten this season in the league and are well on their way to win The Alliance Football League once more. 

Striker Kyle Jardine has been the shining light in his team this season and is no fool when it comes to providing in front of goal. 18 goals and 7 assists show why he's the truth. Jardine is garden in French, so it is no surprise seeing him move like the Boogey-man on oppositions home turfs.

Discussing his contribution to the team, Jardine said, “The numbers speak for themselves, 18 goals this season and over 40 for my Saturday team, it's no fluke, but that's my job and if we’re winning, I can see myself staying here for a long time.” 

Jardine in action for his Saturday team, Heather St. Johns.

At 21 years old, the talent has played a crucial role and is far from done, most recently scoring in his Dynamo’s run in the FA Sunday Cup. In the round of 32 they came up against Royston Rovers FC and for the first time, their on-pitch antics would be made available to the whole world.

Tackles even Vinnie Jones would look away from. The monsters had arrived. A spill from a free kick saw Dynamo draw first blood as Jardine made no mistake converting.  

Midfielder Jimmy Chandler entered the pitch in the second half, suspectedly biting an opposition player, turning the wrestling match into a hell in the cell. Dynamo struck once more, and it was none other than Chandler himself who sealed their fate.

An online video of the game went viral and displays the definition of a rough and tumble encounter, highlighting exactly why the nation lives for the rawness of Sunday league football. 

The Following round saw Dynamo fall to a 4-1 defeat against eventual finalists Trooper FC, but spirits were high post match and showed just why they named themselves the best supported team in Sunday league. 

There are somethings money simply can’t buy, and that’s heart. This SD is one even Mike Ashley couldn’t own. At the centre of their community, they’re no strangers to getting fans involved.

Sporting Dynamo organise a yearly, fan-favourite, bike-ride-pub-crawl for the team and supporters with money going to charity. Additionally, they have an annual golf and darts tournament at the local pub that welcomes all to get involved and it seems to have paid off with more locals coming to support.

Dynamo attendance post Covid-19.

“I think that's what sets us apart from many other teams, our support, and I'm sure the lads and Harry would agree. They play a big part in our success, so our victories are as much theirs as ours,” Jardine said, when talking about what makes Sporting Dynamo unique. 

A push in attendance has also made more money available for the club, helping to refurbish the café and purchase an away kit.

Most recently Dynamo have landed in hot water once more following their semi-final in the Arthur Moore cup which was abandoned following a mass brawl between both fans and players. They now face potential expulsion from both the cup and league. 

Taylor said, “We’ll see what our options are in the coming weeks, I hope we carry on, we provide a lot of joy for the fans”

The future for the club is unknown for now. Unfortunately, the football they play is not a problem, but their aggressive nature could prove them to be masters of their own downfall. 

By Ollie Harvan.