#Star Wars angst

[replaytech]

when I say I could write a ten page essay on the heartbreaking themes in this episode, i’m being completely serious.

crosshair refused to let mayday d!3, but it happened in front of his eyes anyway.

the way his voice sounds when he’s begging them to save him will literally make me sob for days.

[leviathanspain]

anakin smut? where reader is having sexual fantasies about him and he can… feel… it ?🫣

ashamed

anakin skywalker x reader

smut

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you were loud. at least your thoughts were. anakin heard everything, from what you were going to eat for breakfast, to what clothes you’d wear to training.

anakin almost missed it. a small, fleeting thought that meaninglessly floated around in your head, and right into his.

he looks good today..

your thoughts had been heard before he even saw you, and as he turned, there you were, not even looking at him.

anakin’s mouth pulled back into a smirk and he continued to walk, not even bothering to greet you.

it was hard being around him. training had just finished and all you wanted was him. seeing his muscles under those training clothes had left you more than hot and bothered.

you were ravenous.

a jedi was never supposed to engage in any relationships. but it didn’t mean you couldn’t fantasize about it.

you laid on your bed, body worn out after all that training, anakin would be home soon, and he would want to unwind by using you. your body for his, you were willing to let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“hey babe..” his voice trilled as the door shut behind him, carefully you watched him, greeting him back with a smile. but he knew what kind of smile that was, and he was already unbuckling his pants as he walked up.

“what’s wrong?” he had noticed the way you didn’t move off the bed, the way you looked a little breathless. you shrugged slightly, “tough day training.”

anakin’s eyebrows rose, “oh.” you nodded, a small sigh escaping your lips. anakin neared the bed, crawling up by your legs, “maybe i can make you feel better.”

anakin stopped mid sentence. he could taste it. taste something, familiar yet wildly different. anakin dismissed himself from the room full of his superiors and instead went out into the empty hall.

he could feel it. you.

it was you.

anakin inhaled sharply as he felt something graze his crotch, a hand that wasn’t even physically there.

and there was that taste again.

“oh ani..” you moaned out, your words echoed into the room and anakin growled softly, tugging at himself as he lined up with your hole. he had been taking care of you for almost an hour now, fucking you with his mouth until you screamed his name.

now he promised that you wouldn’t dare to forget it.

anakin was slumped down in his room. he had left upon feeling his pants tighten with the size of his erection. now all he could do was trade reality for fantasy as he felt everything you had thought.

he felt it all, and it all left him wanting the real thing. if that’s how you thought about him…

“anakin! don’t stop!” you cried out, gripping his forearms as he thrusted into you, your head crashing into the wall behind you, you groaned softly, “fuck..”

you were writhing on your bed, eyes closed as you let your fantasy play out.

“oh ani!”

a knock suddenly broke your thoughts and you turned, embarrassed, but you got up, knowing they would have no way of knowing what you had been doing.

picturing your jedi master in that way? incred-

“anakin!” the unexpected sight of him at the door, sweating, disheveled, and his robes barely hanging on, he stomped into the room before you could even ask why he was there.

“why didn’t you tell me you wanted me to fuck you?” there it was. it was like nails on a chalkboard.

“what?” your face got red immediately, heat burned on it and you laughed weakly, closing the door, you walked over to him, but you kept your distance, “what are you talking about?”

anakin rolled his eyes, “don’t try and lie to me. i could hear you, i could feel you. i need this to end-“ your face turned into a grimace and you closed your eyes with absolute shock at the revelation, “just let me fuck you. i cant-“ anakin pulled his robes back and highlighted his cock, which was fighting the fabric.

you stared at anakin, “but-“

anakin didn’t even bother to say anything more as he pulled you into his arms, kissing you swiftly as he threw you down.

“don’t be ashamed.”

[sollis-occasum]

you think i'm gone 'cause i left - anakin skywalker/darth vader x fem!jedi!reader (part 2 of 3)

a/n: you can read it as a stand-alone ♡

summary: when a ghost born from his past regrets returns to haunt him, darth vader has no choice but to confront it.

warnings: angst, no use of y/n, blood, mentions of death, mentions of torture, mentions of sex (no smut), reader is manipulating darth vader (but in a girlboss way), darth vader and darth sidious are their own warnings, no proofread, my english is the biggest warning.

word count: 2k

part 1

Darth Vader, who made the galaxy tremble with fear just by the idea of ​​his existence, had subdued leaders who were said to never bow down, destroyed kingdoms that were said to never be destroyed, and made even the proudest warriors beg for mercy. Ironically, the only person who could bring this Sith Lord, who struck fear into every beating heart, to his knees was the ghost of a woman whose heart had stopped years ago.

Was his master manipulating his thoughts to create an illusion of you in order to punish his failures? Or were you the reflection of a ghost trapped in this world because the parts of his soul that belonged to Anakin Skywalker were not ready to let you go?

Darth Vader had no answers to these questions. If there was one thing he knew, it was that you were haunting him and that you would not let go until his heart, which had become a mass that did nothing but pump blood, was numb and torn apart with pain and regret.

Your presence wasn't always this disturbing to be honest, at first he was taking a pleasure in seeing you that he couldn't even admit to himself. You were looking at him with a magnificent light in your eyes that even the greatest massacres and most brutal executions you had ever witnessed couldn't extinguish, you were smiling at him affectionately as if the man in front of you wasn't a war criminal but the little boy you entrusted your lightsaber to. Sometimes he felt a shiver as if you were running your hands over his armored shoulders, and this sweet feeling that covered his entire body reminded him of the times you spent together. Perhaps it was  your presence mixed with the air he breathed that prevented Darth Vader from taking complete control...

However, with each passing day in the empire of fear he and his master had established; with every innocent person he ruthlessly killed, with every enemy he tortured with disregard for their honor in the hope of getting information about his plans, the mask that had become the symbol of brutality was sticking more to the face underneath and his new identity was taking over him

While his burnt, torn body was trapped in an armor, the only thing that gave him a sense of freedom  was his memories of you. But they began to fade one by one, leaving nothing but the memory of your bloody body being dragged by a clone soldier. Your first meeting at the temple, the first time he held you in his arms at the weapons factory that had become a battlefield, the exchange of your lightsabers, the first mission you officially went on together, the first moment he realized he liked you, the first kiss you shared, the first night you spent together... All of them were so distant now.

Maybe that was why your ghost had also slowly begun to change. Your reflection no longer radiated the noble glow it had when you first appeared; your image was more colorless, paler. The sweet feeling he felt when you appeared had been replaced by a pain like an ice burn. You weren't even smiling. A disgusted expression that you only reserved for the most vicious criminals in the galaxy appeared on your face. Especially those eyes... Darth Vader had never seen even his greatest enemy look at him with such devastating hatred.

"You killed me," you said with great anger. "You are responsible for my death!"

Darth Vader had tried everything not to witness those words that had been echoing in his mind for years coming out of your lips. He had told you to leave, tried to ignore you, used the force to disperse your reflection... But you weren't leaving! No matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of you. Finally, he was about to ask his master for help, even if it meant enduring his punishment for being weak, when you asked a question he couldn't leave unanswered.

"Where's my lightsaber, Anakin?"

You were in the throne room of his fortress on Mustafar. Darth Vader was thinking deeply, leaning his arm on the edge of his throne and leaning his helmet on his hands, when he heard your hysterical voice. He reached for his lightsaber as a reflex, but he also knew that the only enemy who could stand against his saber, which was red as if referring to the blood he had shed, was you.

"Anakin... A name I haven't heard in a long time," he said with his robotic voice hiding his emotions. But he also knew that he couldn't hide his feelings from you. You knew his deepest desires and fears. You might have been living in different bodies, but you two were the same person.

You smiled mockingly as if he was a buffoon instead of a commander who had the galaxy wrapped around his finger. "You didn't think I would call you by that funny name your master gave you, did you? Please don't take offense, but you have the stupidest name out of all the Sith Lords."

"How dare you!?" he roared, raising his hand into the air and trying to throw you to the other side of the room with the help of the force, but nothing happened. You continued to stand tall. Apparently, even the force couldn't harm those who didn't belong in the world of the living.

"Do you really think you can get rid of me like that? It's surprising that a ruthless Lord like you can have such naive ideas."

Although you emphasized the word ruthless, an expression appeared on your face as if the anger of the man in front of you amused you.

"What are you and what do you want from me?"

You slowly shrugged your shoulders and started to wander around the throne room. Sometimes you would delicately run your fingers over the objects in the room and sometimes you would go behind the throne and watch the hellish view of Mustafar. There was a silence that Darth Vader, even the most fearless man in the universe, did not dare to break. Finally, you answered the question in a low voice, "Only you can know the answer." Obviously, the answer you gave was not satisfactory for you either.

"I could be your guilt or your regret. Maybe I am your remorse that you cannot silence. Who knows?"

"Nonsense." Darth Vader snapped. "I have no regrets about the past. Such feelings are only excuses for those who are weak enough to succumb to them."

"You may not have it, but Anakin Skywalker does. Maybe that's why you can't defeat him. The remnants of him you can't destroy are suffering, right? Even if you block your ears, you can hear his screams. The more you try to suppress him, the more he finds ways to survive. Look, his pain has created me: the only enemy you can't defeat."

"Shut up! You're not real!"

In a sudden move, he took his lightsaber and tried to separate your head from your body, but your reflection only waved for a few seconds.

"That's what I meant when I said the only enemy you can't defeat." You said with an exasperated tone and rolled your eyes. "Anyway, you've asked enough questions. Now answer my question. Where's my lightsaber?"

"Obi-Wan took it." he said with great passion. His hands clenched involuntarily as he said his former master's name. Even his robotic voice couldn't hide his hatred.

"Ah, I see. So you couldn't protect it. What a shame, it really was a beautiful lightsaber."

You slowly walked towards the throne and sat on the armrest. You tried to keep a sad expression, but it was obvious that the commander’s failures were amusing you. You began to gently run your hands over his shoulders. Even the touch of your abstract presence was enough to soothe him. You could feel him relax under his armor.

“I didn’t think you would give up the only thing I had left so easily.”

“We made a deal. First I saved your life, then you saved mine. After you paid your debt to me, I had no reason to protect the lightsaber.”

"So you're saying that our only bond was some stupid pact we made when we were kids? That the lies we told our masters just so we could spend time together, the kisses we shared, the nights we spent together meant nothing? Don't expect me to believe that, Anakin. If I were truly that worthless to you, you wouldn't have built this fortress on Mustafar as a monument to your failures, you wouldn't have found every clone trooper there that day and tortured them all to death, and most importantly, you wouldn't have sold your soul to your new master in order to save me."

Without waiting for him to respond, you removed your hands from his shoulders and gripped his chin tightly. Technically, you had no power over him, and your fingers had even passed through his mask, but Darth Vader had surrendered to you so much that he lifted his head slightly, just as you wished he would.

"Do you know what I'm actually thinking? Maybe your desire to be Palpatine's toy has nothing to do with me, Skywalker. You turned to the dark side to save me, didn't you? Nonsense! You were just looking for a new master, that's all."

These were words that were too degrading and humiliating for a Sith Lord like him, who was used to being feared and obeyed. He rose from his throne in a sudden movement and held his hands out to you. He knew that he could not harm you, but for the first time, he felt that his anger was harming him, not powering him. He had to do something to get rid of you! However, his desperate efforts to catch you were only making you laugh.

You sat down comfortably on the throne that was vacated by him and crossed your legs with confidence. Your hands were gripping the throne on either side as if you were its rightful owner.

"Look, you can't even sit on the throne, Anakin," you said. "How pathetic."

"The men your master has given you, or that stupid word added to your new name, mean nothing. No matter how much you deny it, you are nothing but a slave. When you were a child, you belonged to Watto, now you belong to Sidious."

Darth Vader clenched his hands into fists and held them up to his face, "I rule the galaxy," he shouted at you. But his voice was weaker, more insecure. You continued, enjoying the pleasure of hitting him in his most sensitive spot.

"No, your master rules the galaxy. You are merely one of his insignificant, dispensable puppets. You have no free will, you still have the soul of a slave. You need others to control you in order to survive. In the past, you needed Obi-Wan and my approval, now you look to your master for help. Because you destroyed everyone who ever cared for you for nothing, and no one else has accepted the monster your sins have created."

"Why are you punishing me like this?"

You had finally done it! The most powerful man in the galaxy, that magnificent figure who bowed to no one but his master, was now kneeling in front of you, his hands on his helmet as if to silence the thoughts in his mind. He was trying to stop Anakin Skywalker, whom he thought he had killed years ago, from taking control with the strength he got from your screams, but he couldn't.

"I am not punishing you, Ani. You are doing this to yourself. Do you want to get rid of me? Then go and avenge me. Make your crimes have meaning. You know who your enemy is."

tags: @circe143 @snowtargaryen @etheriaaly @ariskywlkr @tellybearryyyy @anisgurll

[cookybananas]

Do I Know You? - Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader {Part. I}

a/n: an alternate universe/timeline!au fic! this is the first part, the second part is in the works!

summary: Where Darth Vader is sent on a mission and finds himself traveling through another timeline and meets another version of you where you aren't dead. part II: Do I Know You? II

"I am going to have a few words with you once I get back Sheev..." Vader thought to himself. His large frame was trapped in a tiny capsule that was rapidly moving downwards onto the surface of Tatooine.

His master had sent him to retrieve the Death Star plans on a rebel ship when all of sudden, the rebels managed to crowd him into this tiny capsule and drop him out of the ship. 

There was a faint beeping heard below him. He looked down at his hand and noticed a device strapped on the back of his hand. Those damn rebels. Vader toyed with the device, hoping to shut off the beeping, but the beeping increased and flashed the words on the device:

Coruscant, 20 BBY 

"Huh?" He thought to himself once again, what could this possibly mean? The light above him began flashing red. Out of the small window of the capsule, the dark space soon turned into a blue clouded sky. The Sith Lord let out a sign of frustration, how the hell did I get into this position?

The capsule came to an abrupt stop when it had landed on the ground, sending the Sith Lord face forward into the door. Vader groaned to himself. The door slid open, revealing a dark alleyway, similar to the alleyways in the Underworld in Coruscant.

Vader walked out of the capsule, turning around to admire the machine that the rebels had managed to squeeze him in. Interesting... The Sith Lord thought to himself before making his way towards the dimly lit streets of Coruscant.

The people off the streets eyed the tall, towering figure as Vader strolled along the sidewalks of the Underworld.

"Do you want to buy some deathsticks?" A Rodian man said as he approached the tall dark figure with death sticks in his hands. To which Vader took a step back and eyed the man.

"No..." He let out, debating on whether to take the deathsticks or not. This day was already terrible as is with how everything had gone.

"Are you sure? You'll have a great time-" Vader raise his hand, force choking the reptilian humanoid.

"I would rather not you pest. Now, you will go home and rethink your life."

"I-I will to go home and rethink my life." The man nodded up and down. Vader released his grasp, allowing the Rodian to scramble away from him.

There was whispering and murmurs from other onlookers, witnessing what the Sith Lord just did.

"Did he just use the force?"

"You saw that right?

"Do you think he's one of those Jedi?"

The Sith Lord looked around the people who backed away from him. Pathetic, he thought. He needed to find Palpatine and tell him that mission was a failure, the rebels had gotten away, and he was unable to get the plans. Meaning, that there will be a severe punishment waiting for him once he returns to his Master.

Vader walked into the nearest club and approached the Twi'lek bartender, hoping to find a speeder or station to get him out of here.

"Where is there nearest station? I need to get to the Emperor. 5127th level." Vader said to Twi'lek man who had just gotten done serving a drink to a customer.

"Emperor? Where on Hoth did you come from? Do you mean the Chancellor?" The man questioned, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

Vader sat in brief silence, thinking to himself, Chancellor? He could have sworn Sheev didn't go by that name anymore.

"Y-Yes, the Chancellor...Do you know where I can find him." Vader finally let out, after moments of awkward silence.

"Well, you won't have much of chance finding her. She's either too busy in her office or helping the people clear the debris that was left from the Clone Wars ever since the previous Chancellor was killed."

"She...? How strange." Vader said to himself. "And remind me, what is the name of the Chancellor is again?"

"Kriff dude, did your head get smack with a bunch of Ewoks throwin' rocks at it?" The man questioned, now cleaning cups with his towel.

Vader sat in silence again, staring down at the man. Debating on whether he should have killed his man sooner, or wait until he got a response. Luckily, he chose the latter.

"Chancellor Y/N L/N is her name. She was the former Senator of Naboo before she was elected right after Chancellor Palpatine's death. There's rumors that she had a fling with a Jedi Knight, by the name of Anakin Skywalker-"

"Tell me. Where is she." Vader said, his tone revealing his impatience.

"Woah woah, don't you want me to finish telling-"

"Where is the nearest station. I will find her myself." He stated.

"O-okay fine. The nearest station is quite a distance. But we do have this old speeder at the back of-"

Before the bartender could finish, Vader had already made his way out of the club and around to the back to the speeder. Chancellor Y/N? It couldn't be possible. You were dead, but he needed to see it for himself.

-

"Your Majesty, do you think-"

"Who cares, she has already told you how she felt-" 

"Oh I wasn't talking to you-"

The doors of my office slide open, revealing Obi-Wan with a tray that had two cups on it. I smiled at him, to which he returned. But that smile soon turned into concern as he looked over at my two handmaidens who were having a little dispute.

"Are they still fighting about it?" Obi-Wan said, approaching me and handing me a cup of warm tea.

"Yes, yes they are." I responded, sipping and savoring the earthy taste of the tea.

"Chancellor! Chancellor!" A voice from outside my office called. I looked up at Obi-Wan who looked down at me. The doors to my office slid open, revealing Cal?

"Cal? What's the matter?" I said, now standing up from my chair and making my way towards him.

"T-There's. there's someone looking for you. We don't know who o-or what their name is." He breathed out, trying to catch his breath. "I'm just gonna take a seat here." before plopping himself on the loveseat.

"Astra, could you grab Cal a glass of water please?" Both my handmaidens stopped their bickering and turned to look at me.

"Y-yes of course your Majesty." Astra bowed, both handmaidens leaving the three of us in my office. I turned back to Cal with concern.

"Cal, take a moment to catch your breath. Now, what is this you heard of someone needing me?" I asked him, taking a seat next to him on the loveseat, my hand resting on his shoulder.

"Of course Chancellor. There are talks in the Underworld, that there is this dark figure, who I think is a force-user, is looking for you... I don't know if he's from another planet or something, but there's something off about that thing." Cal spoke, still breathless from running to get to my office.

"Thing?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his words. I looked up at Obi-Wan who was standing next to Cal, caressing his beard in thought.

"Well, it could be a droid of some sort. The thing sounds mechanical." Cal continued, gnawing at his lips nervously.

"Interesting Cal, do we perhaps have another other information of the individual?" Obi-Wan inquired.

"N-No Master, but I felt this dark energy from him. Almost as if it was evil, pure evil." Cal responded. He pulled out his holoprojector, showing footage of a tall dark mysterious figure force choking an innocent bystander.

Obi-Wan and I looked at each other before looking back at the hologram.

"He doesn't look like he would be friendly. Perhaps we may need to take action and find what this individual wants to do with you." Obi-Wan said, still stroking his beard. I thought to myself. How strange, what could I have possibly done that I was involved with this individual?

"We may need to tighten up security among the people and the rest of the sovereign powers. I don't want to draw too much attention to this. I already have much going on. Perhaps I'll bring this up to the Jedi council tomorrow morning and see what they think." I said sighing to myself, as I walked over to the large window that overlooked beautiful skies of Coruscant.

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement, Cal sat there looking between us.

-

The skies of Coruscant were pitch black, but littered with stars in the sky. The Sith Lord arrived at the small landing pad with his airspeeder, just outside of a familiar penthouse. The penthouses and apartments in Coruscant were always open air. Since they were high up in the skies, the only way to get in was with an airspeeder or the elevators to the buildings. So it was fairly easy for Vader to walk into your penthouse without needing to break a sweat.

The Sith Lord made his way into the penthouse. The lights of every room were turned off, except for one. Light faintly emitted from a set of closed doors, assuming that was your room, Vader made a beeline towards your bedroom doors.

Even with his ultraviolet and infrared vision, it was still limited to where Vader missed the Jedi that was hidden behind one of the large pillars of the penthouse.

"You're not welcomed here. You are trespassing a politician's home and I advise you to leave this instant." A familiar voice spoke up.

"I will not leave until I see her, the Chancellor." The Sith Lord turned around, but did not see anyone behind him. Vader turned back around only to be met with Obi-Wan with his hand on the hilt of lightsaber.

"M-Master..." Vader let out, only for Obi-Wan to quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Do we know each other?" Obi-Wan responded, his hand still resting upon his saber.

"Master, it's me... Anakin Skywalker." Vader spoke out to his former Master.

"Foolish nonsense, Anakin Skywalker is dead." Obi-Wan stated.

Both the Sith Lord and Master Jedi eyed each other, waiting on who would make the first move. After moments of deafening silence, Vader took off his helmet. Revealing his burnt, scarred face, and yellow Sith eyes. Obi-Wan watch him in disbelief, taking a step back from the Sith. 

"Obi? Obi-Wan are you there? Who are you talking to in there?" Your voice was muffled on the other side of your door. Anakin's desperate eyes darted over to Obi-Wan and to your door, hoping he'll say something.

"Y-yes Y/N! No worries, it was just a false alarm! It was just a hawk-bat!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"If you say so Obi. I'm heading to bed now!" You shouted in response. The light emitting from your bedroom doors shut off, leaving the entirety of the penthouse dark and only for the Coruscant moonlight to shine through the large windows.

Obi-Wan shook his head and sighed to himself. "You have some nerve for showing up here. And to say that you are Anakin Skywalker? Ludicrous." He spat at Vader.

-

part II: Do I Know You? II

[jpsolace]

I finally finished another drawing! And it's angst! So have some angst order 66 Cody art. And remember, if you live in denial, the clones never, ever, got hurt 🥲

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hii!

I just came across your empress work with kylo ren and i absolutely loved it.

But i was wondering...

Could you maybe write something like that but with kylo marring a jedi reader to restore balance and peace to the galaxy?

Say That Again

"-- say it," Kylo mutters. His voice becomes shaky, "I want to hear you say it."

Kylo Ren x Jedi!Reader | 1k+ | cw: gender neutra!reader, implied kidnapping, violence/mentions of injury, lovers to enemies, pining, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: this req is remix of this anon's and @copiasratsstuff request where basically YN refers to Kylo with his first name and it makes him snap. also T_T i had to send myself this anon ask because i accidentally posted this WITHOUT ANYTHING on the post LMAO. i hope you enjoy it my loves <3 <3 <3 tbh I think this turned out better than what I had in mind slayyyyed

My heart pounds as I run down the halls. My hands were tingling and moistened with agitation. I huff when I catch sight of the space craft.

I swipe an arm and, using my Force, a pair of stormtroopers crash to the side, clearing my passage.

The footsteps thundering towards me grows louder when I get to the ship and pry the door open with my Force. Just as I'm about to get into the vehicle, a scorching blow hits my leg, then my shoulder. A loud cry leaves my lips before I can even think.

Similarly, I hear painful screaming from afar. "Didn't I say to hold your fire?!"

My panic heightens at the echo of that voice. Through the excruciating pain, I tell myself to push forward. This was it, after all, this was the opening to the freedom I was waiting for.

But the next thing I knew, a dark Force overcame me, and I didn't have enough strength to break free of it.

I thud into the arms of my captor, and whine in pain. I clench my jaw and slowly lift my eyes, glaring at him.

My expression is vaguely reflected on the Supreme Leader's black mask. He sighs before speaking, "you reap what you sow."

I growl and hiss, "and soon will you."

He carries me in his arms, all the way back to my prison cell. He sets me down on his bed l, and as he takes off his helmet, I fling him back with Force, making him lose his balance.

The man doesn't topple though. What only happens is his dark hair falls onto his face. He tilts his head, "childish."

I scoff, "I'm glad you're self-aware."

The Sith Lord says nothing in response. He walks off, props his helmet on his cabinet, and opens a drawer. He walks over to me with bandages and ointment.

I raise a brow as he sits on my side, "you're not going to heal me?"

"The pain will be good for you," he replies, grabbing my injured leg with little regard.

I whine and shift to lessen my discomfort. He begins to lather ointment on my laser gash.

As he does this in silence, and as I behold his profile, his nose, his lips, his lashes, I see flashes of the past from his face. I see a memory of when we were younger, both still under the guidance of our master, Luke. I see his sweet smile, hear his soft laugh, feel his tender kiss... my Ben.

Of course, we were young fools in love. Deep down, we knew we could never be; attachments were dangerous. And yet he promised me himself and I promised him myself, and somehow he believes that was the same as us being married.

That was why he captured me. That was why he was binding my wounds. That was why he was unwilling to let me go. According to him, I was the balance the galaxy craved, I was the balance he long yearned for.

"We are married," he says, a-matter-of-factly.

My face sours, "get out of my head."

"Even if you did, even if you managed to run," he turns to me, one hand gripping my knee, "you think I would just let you go?"

We stare at each other for a while.

"After all I've done to have you?" he narrows his eyes.

"You wouldn't be able to find me," I lean in as I retort.

He leans closer, "and yet you would eventually surrender because your heart is weak."

I whine when he pulls the bandage around me tighter than necessary.

"Your soft heart would not bear the destruction I'd exact on the stars to find you," he ties the bandage and turns back to me. He scoffs under his breath, "you and your empathy."

The last of what remained of Ben Solo stared at me. Perhaps I was the only one delusional enough to see it. He was barely there in face, and in soul, I fear he may be lost forever.

I turn away.

He releases my leg and grabs my arm, "take your top off."

I decide not to put up a fight, there was no point. I take my burnt top off so he could wrap the injury on my shoulder blade.

He moves me so my back is turned to him. He stares at my wound for a prolonged moment. I am tempted to look back at him when I realize he felt pity for me.

"You shouldn't have run."

I don't look back, "you shouldn't have chased after-" I hiss when he applies ointment on my burn.

"You shouldn't have run," he repeats, harder this time.

"Kylo, please-"

"What?"

I look over my shoulder.

"What did you just call me?"

His expression is that of shock and excitement. I quickly correct myself, "Ben. Your name is B-"

"That's not my name," he raises a finger, "that's not what you said-"

"That's what I mea-"

"Say that again, say it," Kylo mutters. His voice becomes shaky, "I want to hear you say it."

I clench my jaw and shake my head. "Your name is Ben Solo."

He releases a deep breath.

I grab his cheeks. It was the first time I had ever willingly touched him, and so tenderly at that, "that is your name. That is who you--"

"Ben is dead," Kylo grabs my wrists, yanking me away from him.

My heart races when I feel the hot air from his lungs.

"I am all that's left," he whispers, brows furrowing. His voice is shaky again, "Ben was weak. He could not even speak his love for you out loud," he shakes his head, "not me. I would make sure the whole galaxy knows my love for you."

I gasp when he grabs my face and kisses me. I immediately shove him away, and when I do, this man with wide, glassy eyes stares back at me.

For once, his face evokes something more than anger out of me. I see his desperation and it pinches my heart.

"Ben-"

"That's not my name," he blurts, snapping out of his trance and jumping to his feet. His moment of vulnerability was over. Staring down at me now was no one else besides the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He wipes his face and blankness falls on his features.

I mean to call his name out again but he speaks before I can.

"I will have a medic attend to your wounds," he says flatly, "don't think to flee while I'm gone."

I watch him walk out of the door.

[jake-g-lockley]

Hiya :3

I’ve never done a request before so I thought it might be fun

Maybe you could write a Din Djarin short where the reader had to intervene in a fight on his behalf and Din is furious because the reader could have been killed and lashed out causing the reader to run off and he’s been looking for them ever since?

Also they haven’t admitted that they have feelings for each other yet so there’s another scoop of angst for ya hahaha

To Their Heart’s Content (Din Djarin x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be tagged?

A/N: *crack knuckles* MISS MA'AM I HAVE JUST THE THING OMG. I hope you like it <3 and thank you for the ask, I had fun writing this!!! Warnings: Angst, yelling, Din being Din. Word Count: 1.4k

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Din’s POV “Din, you do not give babies explosives unsupervised!” you squealed as you grabbed onto the explosive that Grogu had been proudly showing off to you. 

Once you had set the explosive safely aside, you giggled as you chased Grogu around the ship’s hull, laughing aloud as you tackled the child into your arms. 

The memory of your laugh pulled Din Djarin away from the focus of flying through the dizzying depths of space. Nothing had sounded closer to music to his ears. But now it was just a distant memory, a memory that he had been trying to chase. 

You had always been the chatty one, and he had always listened to you. He could spend hours listening to your talk about the most random thing, and you wouldn’t know that he also spent those hours staring into your eyes. 

Your gaze was always sharp, as if you had lined your eyes with glass instead of dark kohl. They sparkled with irresistible charm, glowing brightly whenever you star gazed while he flew the ship. Din would feel his skin grow hot wherever you would glance, not in pain or agony but as if he was being bathed by warm sunlight. You were like a cup of caf, the first taste always being bitter. But when you came around to him, your boldness and brightness took over his entire senses, kickstarting a whole new beginning for him. You had a fullness in your body and a richness in your soul that drew him towards you, almost connecting you to him.

“Don’t go too far, kar'ta!” Din yelled out before he could stop himself as he watched you and Grogu skip through the meadow. You had seen the meadow as Din flew above it and you insisted on flying down, to pick some flowers to make flower crowns. The second he touched down, you had flipped your extra long curls and a beautiful scent of nova lilies flooded all his senses, knocking him out cold. 

Kar'ta

Din doubted you understood what he called you. You’d give him a head tilt and smile at his sudden use of Mando’a. He couldn’t help himself, for you were his kar'ta, his heart. It was at that moment, when he watched as you picked his kid up and spun him around, where the doom settled at the pit of his stomach, and he knew that he couldn’t live without you. 

The scene in his mind drastically changed and blaster shots echoed in his head as the imagery of the wreaked marketplace appeared. Din had been fighting 5 to 1 and was already kneeling in pain from the poisoned cut. You lept in front of him, and Din yelled out as the enemy’s blade slashed a cut into your arm. Din heard you scream as his world plunged into darkness. 

The scene changes again and Din is knocking away a bowl of porridge that you had offered to him the second he had come to. 

“Din, I-”

“You could have gotten yourself killed!” he yelled through his helmet, barricading you with his large frame.

“I knew what I was doing!” you yelled back, pushing your hands at his armour but he didn’t budge an inch. “You could’ve been dead if I didn’t step in! Who do you think dragged you all the way back here?”

The Mandalorian went quiet, but you stared at him through his helmet, glowering at him as tears flowed from your beautiful eyes. 

“I. Don’t. Care. Next time, stay out of my way.” he huffed, turning away from you.

“There isn’t going to be a next time, Mandalorian.” 

Your words rang clear in Din’s head as time froze around him, except for the frantic movement of your body around the hull of his ship, grabbing at your belongings. You left that night and Din was hellbent in wanting to go and search for you but he couldn’t move a muscle. His pride overtook the feelings he had for you and he couldn’t go after you, not after how he treated you.

The kid’s soft whining brought Din back to the present and he unscrewed the metal ball off one of the levers and handed it to him

“Don’t worry, little one, we almost found her.” he said softly, rubbing Grogu’s head as he gazed at the planet before him

Your POV

You rubbed the pendant around the neck between your fingers as you breathed in the fresh air around you. As evening approaches, the lake mirrors the fiery colours of the sunset, transforming into a molten pool of oranges, pinks, and purples that blend seamlessly with the twilight sky. Your chickens cooed and you smiled at them before shutting your eyes and letting your memories overpower you. 

You missed your mystery Mandalorian, you dreamed of him and recently you had his voice in your head. You wanted to go back, and you wished you didn’t make such a harsh decision to leave him, to leave Grogu. You hugged yourself as the wind blew gently and you swayed, re-imagining that one day that Din had gained the courage to slow dance with you in a bar after you teased him a bunch. “Big man like you never danced with a lady before?” you chuckled as Din’s hand gripped yours a little tighter. “Never with a lady as annoying as you.” he huffed, his nerves pulling at his edges, but you smiled at him nevertheless.

You never knew what he hid under that helmet of his and you never asked because he never pried into your past either. As much as you tried to bury those memories deep down, they always clawed their way back to the surface, haunting your thoughts in the quietest moments. The ache in your chest seemed insatiable, a constant reminder of what once was and what could have been. You found yourself tracing his silhouette in the crowd, hoping against hope for a glimpse, only to recoil at the pain of realisation.

Each day felt like a battle against your own heart, struggling to resist the urge to reach out, to feel the warmth of his presence beside you. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy between you, a silent testament to the distance that had grown. You yearned to break the silence, to shatter the wall that kept you apart, yet fear gripped you tightly, whispering tales of rejection and loss.

In the solitude of sleepless nights, memories played like a relentless movie reel, tormenting you with what could have been said, what might have changed if only you had been brave enough. The ache became a part of you, a raw, tender spot that refused to heal. You masked your longing with a smile, but behind it lay a river of unshed tears, a testament to the depth of your unspoken emotions.

You wanted nothing more than to forget, to move on from the phantom of his touch and the echo of his voice in your mind. Yet, his presence lingered in every corner of your world, a ghost you couldn't exorcise. Each step forward felt like a betrayal of the memories you held dear, a struggle against the pull of a love that refused to fade.

But amidst the pain and longing, a glimmer of hope flickered—a hope that one day, the ache would soften, that you could remember without the sting, that you could find peace in letting go. Until then, you held onto the fragments of what once was, whispering silent prayers to the universe to grant you the strength to heal, to forgive, and to find solace in the sweet agony of a heart that dared to love deeply, despite the pain.

You wished you held your awkward Mandalorian a little tighter, a little longer after the music ended, but here you were standing by your cottage as the air became cool and fragrant with the scent of wildflowers that lulls the world into a peaceful slumber, all alone. “Swapped out the battle armour for chickens, kar'ta?”

You took a deep breath and felt your own heart quicken, the voice reverberating around you too sound for it to be coming from your head. A tear slipped from your eyes as you closed them, your heart finally joining with its lost one as the sound of heavy boots on dirt met your ears. 

Translation: Kar'ta: Mando’a for heart

Kohl: Ancient eye cosmetic

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~ Tagging: @fandxmslxt69 @joygirlmelii @wolfbook87 @randomnessfangirl @minigirl87 @alexxavicry @euphoricosmo @violet-19999 @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm  @britishscum @bubblezuku @cookielovesbook-akie @mandoloriancookie @anonymously35 @milly-louise @marylovesdilfs @pigeonmama

[belqva]

₊˚⊹౨ DAYLIGHT (O.W.K.) ৎ ₊˚⊹

warnings: angst. angst. and even more angst because i’m just morbid like that? it takes place post rots / mentions of order 66 if you consider that a warning lol

summary: Two Jedi survivors confront their shared guilt, grief, and unspoken love, finding solace and redemption in each other after ten years of loss and isolation.

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x reader

word count: 3.0k (ooops…)

a/n: first off all I had to get this off my chest even if it flops idc because I literally cannot stop thinking about it and I just need to put it out into the world, so please enjoy as much as I did creating it 🫶🏻 — p.s. there is so much anakin content on here (not that i’m complaining) so some much needed obi-wan appreciation is finally here <333

It had been exactly ten years since that fateful night on Mustafar—the night that shattered the galaxy and left you standing amidst the wreckage of everything you had ever known. The weight of loss had followed you like a shadow ever since, but even now, after a decade, the grief felt as fresh as the day it had all come crashing down.

The Republic had fallen. The Jedi had fallen. You had fallen.

As a Jedi Knight, you had once fought beside Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, brothers-in-arms during the Clone Wars. But more than that, you had known them as friends, as family. You had shared countless missions, stood side by side in battle, trusted each other with your lives. There was always a bond between you and Obi-Wan, something deeper than the friendship you both acknowledged—a connection that remained unspoken, held back by the Jedi Code. You had fought beside him for years, and through it all, you had felt something more than just camaraderie.

But when the war ended in tragedy, that unspoken connection had been buried beneath the ashes of the galaxy. Padmé Amidala was dead, Anakin had become Darth Vader, and Obi-Wan had disappeared. The Jedi were hunted, executed, and scattered to the far corners of the galaxy.

You were lucky. When Order 66 was given, you were on a neutral planet far in the Outer Rim, away from the battlefield. There were no clone troopers, no soldiers to execute the terrible command. But as the news of the Jedi massacre spread, you ran. You shut yourself off from the Force, hiding it deep within you, trying to suppress the very thing that had been your life.

And for what? The galaxy had become a graveyard for those who believed in hope.

You had fled to Alderaan, the only place you could think of, seeking refuge with Bail Organa, a man you had trusted throughout the war. He had welcomed you without question, and when you learned the full truth—of Anakin’s fall, of Padmé’s death, of the birth of the twins—it had shattered what remained of your spirit. You saw Leia for the first time then, a tiny baby, unaware of the weight her existence carried. The sight of her had brought you to tears, her innocence a stark contrast to the darkness that surrounded her birth.

And it was there that you learned the impossible. Obi-Wan was alive. But he had gone into hiding, retreating to a desolate world, unreachable, untouchable. Bail wouldn’t tell you where. He couldn’t. Perhaps Obi-Wan believed you were dead, like the others.

That thought weighed heavily on your mind for years. Every night, it haunted you—what had become of him? Was he truly gone, lost to the same despair that had consumed so many others?

For a decade, you stayed on Alderaan, trying to build a life in the ruins of your past. But the Force, which had once been a comfort, now felt like a burden you couldn’t bear. You severed yourself from it, and in doing so, lost a part of who you were. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and soon ten years had passed. Watching Leia grow, watching the galaxy continue without you, made you feel like a relic from another time. Everyone else had moved on, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t let go.

And so, you made a decision. You couldn’t continue like this. The weight of the past was suffocating, and there was only one person in the galaxy who could understand—only one person who might still carry the same scars you did.

You didn’t tell Bail when you left. You couldn’t. You just packed what little you needed, including your lightsaber—though it felt strange to carry it after so many years—and set off for Tatooine. It was the only place that made sense. The place where it had all begun. The place where you might find the one person who still gave you hope.

When you arrived on the barren, desert planet, the twin suns beating down mercilessly, you felt the desolation sink into your bones. Tatooine was a world of sand and silence, and it reflected the emptiness you had felt for years. You asked around discreetly, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. The locals were suspicious of outsiders, and the planet was far from safe. But after days of searching, you heard rumors of a strange man who lived far from the towns, a man who kept to himself and only came into town for work.

It had to be him.

With nothing but a tattered cloak and your old, worn-out boots, you set off on foot into the desert. The journey was grueling, the heat unbearable, but you pressed on, driven by something deeper than determination. It took two days of walking, resting only when you could no longer move, but finally, you reached the place the locals had spoken of—a small, stone cave nestled into the cliffs, almost invisible in the harsh light of the suns.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached. The cave looked abandoned, but something inside you—some instinct or long-buried connection—told you otherwise. You felt it, deep down. You didn’t need the Force to know. He was there.

As you drew closer, a voice called out, sharp and commanding. “Visitors are not welcome here! Go away!”

That voice. You froze, your breath catching in your throat. It was older, wearier, but it was unmistakably him. After so many years of silence, hearing his voice was like a punch to the gut. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you almost collapsed from the sheer emotion of it.

“Is this how you welcome an old friend?” you called back, your voice trembling with emotion. A broken laugh escaped you as tears streamed down your cheeks.

There was a long pause. Then, from the shadows of the cave, a figure emerged. Slowly, he stepped into the light, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat.

Obi-Wan.

But this was not the man you had once known. The years had aged him in ways you couldn’t have imagined. His face was lined with deep creases of sorrow and exhaustion, his once-vibrant hair now streaked with gray. His clothes were rough, worn, nothing like the robes of the Jedi you remembered. He looked like a man who had lived ten lifetimes in the span of a decade.

But it was his eyes that caught you. They were filled with shock, with disbelief, as if he couldn’t quite believe you were standing there before him.

“I thought you were dead,” he whispered, his voice raw, the words barely more than a breath.

You nearly broke at the sound of those words. You had imagined so many scenarios, but hearing the pain in his voice was unbearable. “No, Obi-Wan,” you said, stepping closer, your voice trembling. “I’m alive. I made it. We both made it.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes searching your face as if trying to convince himself that you were real. And then, without warning, he pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as if he might never let go. The force of it knocked the breath from your lungs, but you didn’t care. You buried your face in his shoulder, clutching at him as if he were the only thing keeping you anchored to the galaxy.

For the first time in ten years, you felt whole.

His grip on you tightened, and you felt his fingers thread through your hair, as if he were afraid you might vanish. You held on just as fiercely, your fingers clutching the fabric of his worn cloak, afraid that if you let go, this moment would slip away like a dream.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against your hair, his voice thick with emotion. “For everything.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your hands still gripping his arms. “Obi-Wan, it’s not your fault. None of it.”

He shook his head, his expression pained. “I failed. We both did.”

“No,” you said firmly. “We survived. And that’s enough.”

The weight of his words hung between you like a heavy cloud, but you refused to let them pull you down. You had both been living with this burden for so long, but now—standing here, in each other’s presence—it was different. There was a sense of shared pain, shared guilt, but also the faintest glimmer of something else. Hope.

Obi-Wan finally released you, stepping back just slightly, though his hand lingered on your arm as if he was still afraid you might disappear.

“You… You shouldn’t have come,” he murmured, his voice shaky. “It’s too dangerous.”

���I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” you admitted, your voice soft but steady. “I couldn’t stay on Alderaan. I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine.”

He looked away, his jaw tightening. “But you were safe there. Away from all of this.”

“Safe?” You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “I haven’t felt safe in ten years, Obi-Wan. Not since… not since that day.”

At that, he flinched, his eyes closing for a brief moment, as though the memory of Mustafar, of Anakin’s fall, was still as fresh for him as it was for you.

“We’ve both lost everything,” you continued, your voice cracking. “Everything we believed in. Everyone we cared about. But we’re still here, Obi-Wan. Somehow, we’re still here.

He opened his eyes again, looking at you with a mixture of sadness and something deeper—something that had always been there, just beneath the surface.

“And what good has it done?” he asked quietly. “We’ve survived, yes, but at what cost? The galaxy has fallen into darkness. The Jedi are gone. Anakin…” His voice broke at the mention of his former apprentice, and he turned away, his shoulders tense with the weight of it all.

You stepped closer, placing a hand gently on his arm. “It wasn’t your fault,” you whispered, knowing full well how hollow those words sounded, knowing that he had probably told himself the same thing countless times and failed to believe it. “You did everything you could.”

He didn’t respond at first. He just stood there, his eyes fixed on some distant point in the desert, lost in memories you couldn’t touch. But then, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke again, his voice barely audible.

“I trained him,” he said, his words laced with bitterness and regret. “I watched him grow. I should have seen the signs. I should have stopped him before…”

“You couldn’t have known,” you said firmly. “None of us could have.”

But he shook his head, his expression tortured. “I should have. I should have been better.”

You wanted to argue with him, to tell him that he was wrong, that he had been the best mentor, the best Jedi anyone could ask for. But you knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Obi-Wan had always carried the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, even when it wasn’t his to bear. It was part of who he was.

Instead, you reached out and gently took his hand, lacing your fingers with his. He looked down at the gesture, his brow furrowing slightly, as though the simple act of human connection was something foreign to him now.

“We can’t change the past,” you said softly. “But we’re not alone. Not anymore.”

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. But then, slowly, almost reluctantly, he squeezed your hand in return. It was a small gesture, but it was enough to make your heart ache.

After a few moments of silence, you both sat down on the rocky ground outside the cave, the twin suns dipping below the horizon, casting long shadows across the desert. The air was cooling now, and the stars were beginning to emerge, scattered like pinpricks of light across the darkening sky.

You sat close to each other, your shoulders almost touching, the quiet between you filled with unspoken words. For a while, neither of you said anything. It was enough just to be here, together, after so many years of isolation and pain.

Finally, you broke the silence, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I spent so long wondering.. just thinking about you. If you were suffering just like me.”

“I thought about you too,” Obi-Wan admitted, his voice soft. “Every day.”

You turned to look at him, surprised by the raw honesty in his words. He met your gaze, and for the first time, you saw something in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in years—a flicker of vulnerability, of the man he used to be before the weight of the galaxy crushed him.

“I thought you were dead,” he confessed, his voice cracking slightly. “After the Purge, I thought… I thought I’d lost you, too. Like everyone else.”

You felt a lump form in your throat at his words. You had imagined so many scenarios over the years, but hearing the pain in his voice, knowing that he had thought you were gone, was almost too much to bear.

“I’m here,” you said softly, reaching out to gently touch his cheek. “I’m here, Obi-Wan.”

For a moment, he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing as if he were savoring the simple warmth of human contact. But then, just as quickly, he pulled away, the walls he had built around himself slamming back into place.

“You shouldn’t have come,” he said again, his voice harsher this time, though you could hear the conflict in his tone. “It’s not safe. For either of us.”

“I don’t care about safety,” you replied, your voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill over. “I care about you.”

He shook his head, standing up abruptly and walking a few paces away, his back to you. “This isn’t your fight anymore, Y/N. You don’t owe me anything.”

You stood up as well, anger and frustration bubbling to the surface. “How can you say that? After everything we’ve been through, how can you stand there and tell me that I don’t owe you anything?”

He didn’t turn around, but you could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Because I don’t deserve it,” he said, his voice low, almost broken. “I don’t deserve your loyalty, or your friendship, or… or anything.”

You took a step toward him, your heart aching at the pain in his words. “Obi-Wan,” you said softly, “you’ve always been too hard on yourself. You’ve always carried the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, and it’s killing you.”

He turned around then, his blue eyes filled with a storm of emotions—pain, guilt, fear, and something else, something that had always been there between you but had never been spoken aloud.

“I don’t know how to carry it anymore,” he whispered, his voice raw and vulnerable. “I don’t know how to keep going.”

Without thinking, you closed the distance between you, reaching out to gently cup his face in your hands. “Then let me carry it with you,” you whispered. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes searching your face as if he were trying to find something—an answer, a reason, a way forward. And then, slowly, almost hesitantly, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours.

“You were always stronger than me,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

You smiled through your tears, your heart breaking and mending all at once. “We were always stronger together,” you said softly.

And then, finally, the walls came down.

“I will love in every galaxy,” you began, your voice trembling but sure. "In every universe that ever was or will be. In every lifetime we are destined to live. Even when the stars lose their way and disappear from the sky, when the oceans turn to dust, and the mountains bow to time— still, I will choose you. Even if you are but a hollow echo of the person you once were, a shadow of all that you used to be, I will see you, the heart of you, the soul of you, and love you with all that I am, with all that I will ever be. I will love you with a fire that burns through eternity. Until my last breath, and beyond that, when I become one with the stars, the winds, the very Force— evn then, my spirit will find yours, and I will love you in silence, in whispers carried on the edge of the cosmos. My existence is bound to yours, an eternal thread that stretches across time and space, every part of me yearns for you, craves to hold you close, and I won't let you slip away— not this time, not again. For no distance, no universe, no lifetime could keep me from you. I will love you, even when you don't believe in love, even when you forget how to love yourself. My heart is yours, wholly, eternally, unshakably.”

As the words poured from your heart, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his hands trembling as they gripped your waist. You felt the years of pain, of loneliness, of guilt melt away between you. You could feel the force of his emotions, raw and unfiltered, as if he had been holding them back for so long that now, in your presence, they couldn’t be contained anymore.

And when you finished, when the last of your confession hung in the air like a promise carved into the stars, he finally broke. He kissed you with a desperation that spoke of years of longing, of words left unspoken, of feelings buried too deep for too long.

In that moment, under the vast, starlit sky, there were no Jedi, no Sith, no war, no galaxy. There was just you and him—two souls who had found each other again after being lost for so long.

And in that moment, that was enough.

© COPYRIGHT BELQVA 2024

SHARING THIS, ANY OF MY OTHER WORKS OR A TRANSLATION OF THEM WITHOUT CONSENT ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN !!!

THE PLOT OF STAR WARS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, EXCEPT FOR THE ONES CREATED BY ME, DO NOT BELONG TO ME THIS IS JUST A WORK OF FANFICTION !!!

tags:

[blue-sadie]

Blinded By Feelings

Armitage Hux, Cal Kestis, Poe Dameron, Din Djarin, Anakin Skywalker

They have feelings for you their enemy

Armitage Hux

He hated you even through he's never met you, he loathed your very being and it only increased when he met you, you were another general that to fought to be the best.

And when you two were together in a meeting or just in passing in the corridors you two would bicker like children over plans or random things that was annoying one of you that day.

He would only realize his feelings when a storm trooper would ask him but he would tell them to shut up and threaten them saying he would throw him into space if he ever spoke something so ridiculous again, but it would cloud his mind days after that.

He would feel disgusted by himself and avoid you by all cost but his efforts went to waste when you come back injured from a mission and he would make it his personal mission to take you to the med bay and scold you at the same time.

"You are stupid as the rebellion if you think you would not get scolded for your actions you could've gotten yourself killed next time at least tell me first so I can get you better storm troopers"

Cal Kestis

You joined the crew way before he did and had a stronger bond with greez and cere he was kinda jealous it wasn't much of a hatred thing he just found you kinda annoying to be around and would avoid being with you.

Every time you tried talking to him he would ignore you or when you saved him countless times he would just give you a forced thank you but nothing more.

The thing that made him notice is that you would start showing up in his dreams more or when he meditates, he'd find it annoying at first but he'd start thinking about you more and more.

He'd start listening and paying more attention to you which not only freaked you out but the other crew members to, during one of the missions he'd actually listen to your ideas instead of shutting you up.

"You have some really good ideas I should've started listening to you sooner, I'm sorry about that by the way I guess I was just jealous of you"

Poe Dameron

You were the rebellions best mechanic and the person that would work on his x-wing without his consent he'd hate it even though it needed to be done, he hates it more when you'd leave sticky notes telling him about the up grades you've done to his ship.

He would complain to Leia about you but she'd just laugh and tell him off because your just doing your job so then he'd come complain directly to you but you'd just ignore him continuing on his next up grade.

He'd have a few people tell him that he probably has a crush on you because of him talking about you so much but what really makes him realize is when he sees you talking to others guys and the jealousy he feels.

When returning from one of his missions his x-wing battered and needing repairs he'd actually come straight to you to ask you to repair it for him.

"I know I found it annoying but I've come to realize your up grades are kinda.... helpful after saving me a few times so what I'm trying to say is I'd like you to continue working on my ship"

Din Djarin

Your were an assassin, killing off the high end people most bounty hunters were afraid to kill, you've also killed a few of his bountys making him pissed.

He's only ever layed eyes on you a few times in crowed bars or a desolate street he doesn't really care about knowing you because why would he get to know his enemy a thief.

He'd only start looking out for you more when you saved him from an ambush you shot his captures in the head and threw him a gun before disappearing again.

He'd be against the idea of ever actually falling for you because of his past experiences but after some more encounters with you he'd would stop you before you vanish again.

"You can reject this offer but I'm still putting it out there, I want you to join me us, it would be alot easier we work together then you stealing my bountys so what do you say"

Anakin Skywalker

You are master windus padowan and the person he's always compared to why can't you be like yn why can't you take after her, it was something he heard almost everyday which makes him hate you.

He hates how kind you are even through his hateful words he spits your way or when you'd sometimes take the fall for one of his stupid plans he never even thanks you.

He like hux only got the realization when you got hurt, you'd taken a hit that was ment for him, the panic he felt as he watched you fall made him snap and kill whoever did it.

He'd spend day and night by your bedside in the medbay pacing back and forth as he tried thinking about his feelings, they'd only calm down when he sees you awake.

"Don't do that ever again do you hear me, you don't deserve to be here especially because of me I should be in this bed instead of you, do you know what you put me through I thought I lost you"

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

Forever in the Dark

Part 1

Summary: Five years after the establishment of the Galactic Empire, Darth Vader follows a lead to Naboo, where he is forced to confront his past and is unexpectedly reunited with the one person who still has power over his heart.

WC: 1.5 K.

A/N: This is an unburnt Vader/Anakin AU.

Part 2 Fictober Challenge

It had been five years since Order 66 was executed, changing the fate of the galaxy forever. Anakin, now hidden behind the mask of Darth Vader, had spent those years trying to forget you- trying to forget what he had done to you on Mustafar. He had pushed the memories deep into the farthest reaches of his mind, locking them away where they couldn’t touch him. But the pain? The pain, he kept close. He clung to it, allowed it to fester. It was the only part of you he let himself feel, a constant ache he willingly accepted as punishment for what he’d done. Losing you had been the final push that drove him fully to the Dark Side. Even as he buried your memory, the torment of living without you lingered, feeding the darkness within him.

Rumors had begun to surface of a civilian aiding and sheltering the remaining Jedi and Resistance fighters. Whoever this person was, they held knowledge from the days of the Republic- secrets only a few could know. The more Vader heard of this mysterious figure, the more something felt amiss- something familiar.

“Lord Vader?” A Stormtrooper stepped cautiously into the dimly lit room where Vader was meditating.

“You’d better have a good reason for interrupting me. Speak” he ordered, his tone firm and ice-cold.

“We intercepted a message from a rebel cell, my Lord. It reveals the location of the person we’ve been searching for.”

“And where are they now?” Vader’s impatience flared as the trooper’s hesitant delivery grated on him.

“Naboo, my Lord.”

The name struck him like a blow to the chest. Naboo. Your home. The place where your love had blossomed in secret, the place he once dreamed of retiring with you. He grew more suspicious of this mysterious person, and deep down, he hoped that somehow you were still alive. That despite the impossibility, you’d survived and were the person they hunted.

“Prepare my ship. We leave at once.” his voice was sharp, tolerating no delay.

As the ship sped toward Naboo, unrest clouded Vader’s mind. He stood rigid, trying to find calm, but the uncertainty of what awaited him on the planet gnawed at him. It stirred a restless anxiety he hadn’t felt in years- one that made the part of him that was still Anakin begin to stir.

“How long until we arrive?” his impatience cracked through the air.

“Not long, my Lord. We should arrive within the hour” a trooper responded.

Once they arrived, Vader ordered the ship to land in an undetected area. 

Naboo’s familiar air wrapped around him like an old wound. Every step he took reminded him of you, stirring memories he had hoped would stay buried forever. Anger flickered deep within him- anger at himself, at the situation, and at the emotions bubbling back to the surface, emotions he had tried so hard to suppress.

“Wait here” he barked.

“But, Lord Vader, we don’t know what-”

“You dare question me?” his voice snapped, cold as a blade.

“No, my Lord. Forgive me” The trooper backed away quickly.

When he finally arrived at the coordinations they had intercepted, he found a small, cozy cabin overlooking the lake he once loved so much. He wanted to turn back, to return to the ship. He wished he could just destroy this place, obliterate the memories that came rushing back. But if there was even a chance that you were inside, a chance to see you again, he couldn’t walk away.

His mind raced, and his heart pounded uncharacteristically fast in his chest. He felt terrified. For the first time in years, he was feeling emotions other than anger and pain. The possibility of seeing you again, of facing whatever was inside that cabin, overwhelmed him.

This was it. This was the moment he would either be disappointed or relieved- the moment that could free him from the torment, that could ease his pain. The thought that you could still be alive, after all this time, consumed him.

His hands trembled as he reached for his helmet, removing it carefully- something he hadn’t done outside his private chambers since becoming Darth Vader. He inhaled deeply before opening the door to the cabin. 

He hadn’t been this nervous since the time he confessed his love to you. Stepping inside quietly, his mind spun again, consumed by negative thoughts. What if you hate him? What if you can’t forgive him? And worst of all, what if you fear him? The questions made him angrier. No, he couldn’t let himself be overtaken by these thoughts- not now, not when he’s so close to seeing you again.

Finally, there you were, your back to him, clearly unaware of his presence.

“Y/n?” the name left his lips in a soft, broken whisper- so uncharacteristic of the Dark Lord he’d become.

You knew that voice, but it couldn’t be. The man you had loved died five years ago. You turned around to see the source of the voice, and there he stood. Dressed in all black, his eyes so full of pain, his face so tired, yet unmistakably Anakin. Your Anakin.

Vader’s breath hitched as he saw your face. You were older now, but still every bit as beautiful as he remembered. He stood frozen, his chest tightening as he took you in, every detail, every memory flooding back.

You stared at him, disbelief and shock clear in your eyes. Could this really be him? After all these years? A thousand thoughts raced through your mind, but all you managed to say was “Ani?”

He flinched slightly at the sound of his old name. No one called him that anymore- no one who lived. ‘Ani’, only you called him that and hearing it from your lips again…it was like a punch to the gut. He could feel the walls around his heart cracking.

You stepped closer, scanning him as your eyes filled with tears. Unsure if this was real, you whispered  “Is it really you?” 

He hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t how he imagined your reunion. He thought you’d be angry- furious at him for what he had done, for killing- almost killing you, for everything he’d done in the last five years. Instead, he was met with disbelief and relief.

He finally found his voice, his words barely above s whisper “Yes. It’s me.”

“Wh- how?” confusion was written across your face. Obi-Wan had told you he was dead- that Darth Vader had killed him.

He sighed slightly, the weight of everything he’d done pressing down on him. He wasn’t sure how much you still remembered, but from the look in your eyes, you had no memory of that terrible day on Mustafar, no memory of what had caused you to go there “It’s…a long story” he said, his voice tired and weary.

When you made sure this was real- that he was real, standing in front of you, you rushed forward and threw your arms around him, your body colliding with his in a desperate embrace. 

He stiffened, taken aback by the sudden affection and contact. But as it hit him, he slowly returned the embrace, his arms tightening around you, pulling you  closer against his chest. It heaved as he closed his eyes, burying his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of you. He had missed you so much. His heart ached as he held you in his arms. It had been too damn long. He never thought he’d see you again, let alone hold you. It all felt so real, so tangible.

“I’ve missed you” you whispered, your voice cracking as you pulled back slightly to look at him. Your hands came up to touch his face, gently examining him. “Is this real or have I finally lost my mind?”

He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch, savoring the warmth of your fingers against his skin. 

He reached up and gently placed his hands over yours “It’s real” he whispered, his lips curving into a sad, wistful smile.

You searched his eyes, hoping for answers “Wh- what happened?” you asked softly, a tear slipping down your cheek.

His expression immediately became guarded as soon as you hit him with that question. He didn’t want to think about what had happened, about what he had become, and didn’t want to lie to you. He swallowed hard before exhaling a long  breath. “It’s…complicated” he said, avoiding your gaze as he turned his head slightly.

You could feel that something was bothering him “What’s wrong?” you asked softly, guiding his face back toward you, locking eyes with him.He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. What’s wrong? He didn’t know where to begin. Lightly, he wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled them down from his face. Struggling to find the words, to explain to you, he finally said “Everything. Everything went wrong…”

Tags: @mother-dragon-and-her-hatchlings @dcrthbaeder

[bloatedandalone04]

Cosmic Love

➪the one where you break anakin’s heart after he unknowingly broke yours.

Part 2

Warnings: angst af, emotional cheating (kinda ?), insecurities, self deprecating thoughts, anakin slipping to the dark side and being oblivious half the time, quite possible that the reader is depressed without knowing it

Word Count: 4k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

You weren’t sure when things went wrong. You weren’t sure what happened. 

You were in love, you were sure of it, and so was he. The feeling of love still filled your every vein when you thought about the dark haired Jedi, so you knew for a fact that you were still in love with him. 

Anakin Skywalker.

Even his name had your heart racing. 

You couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t in love with him. It was clear that your feelings for him ran deep and had for a long time, long before you even knew what these feelings meant. 

It was only as recent as two years since you had labelled those feelings as love, and ever since then you two had been inseparable. 

Until now. 

The Jedi temple was large and had countless hallways and passages. It was easy to get lost in if you didn’t know your way around the place. It was also easy to walk in on things you maybe weren’t supposed to see. 

Like the way Anakin’s fingers brushed against hers as they greeted each other. Or the way his smile was bright, charming and kind, while hers was shy, genuine and showed the words she didn’t say.

He was slipping away, you feared. 

Or maybe you were.

Maybe you were giving her the chance she had wanted for years to slip in and steal the heart of the man you are in love with.

The man who was in love with you - is in love with you, right? 

Perhaps. 

You felt pathetic for the first time in a long time. Anakin never allowed you to feel anything negative about yourself as he put your worries to rest and helped you fight your insecurities. 

Whenever you felt that sickly feeling of unworthiness creep into your skin, he was right there next to you. He made sure that you always knew just how important and needed you are.

You had a connection and he felt it every time you became stressed or worried about something, and he was always the person who talked you down, both verbally and mentally. 

Was your connection fading?

Is that why you have begun to feel unworthy again, much like how you felt when you first allowed yourselves to fall in love? Is that why he hadn’t seemed to notice your mood that was rapidly declining and the way you would berate yourself in your head?

You weren’t sure anymore. You didn’t know where you fit into his life anymore as he seemed to be thriving every time he left the confines of your secret shared room. 

That room was just a placeholder for what your future plans were. Anakin had mentioned that he had been looking at apartments in the city for the two of you, a place you could call your own, a place where you two can just be together without a care. 

Without the prying eyes of the Jedi or the suspicious glares from the Masters. Without the possibility of falling for someone else. 

You missed him when he ventured outside the walls of your room. You missed him when he was right next to you. He was there, by your side, yet you still missed him. The distance that was steadily growing between you was present every time you were together, something he didn’t seem to notice.

Anakin was clueless of what was going on around him, he was powerless to stop the doubts and accusations that swam in an endless pool inside your head. To keep it simple; Anakin’s entire world was falling apart in front of him, yet he had no idea of the damage that was currently being inflicted on his relationship with you. 

He was oblivious to the ache you felt whenever he was deep in conversation with Padmè, the way your heart deflated bit by bit when he showed off new devices to the Senator, and the dull stab that pierced your being whenever he slipped up and told her stories that he had only meant to tell you.

In all honesty, the man was blind to how his actions were affecting you.

You wished you understood the feelings that overtook your body whenever you caught the two together. It was a heat nearly as hot as fire, a taste as bitter as anything else and a flicker of the thought of not being enough for the man you had been in love with for many years now. The same man who had only been yours for two years.

Though, to Anakin, he had been yours since the minute he set eyes on you.

You were fourteen when you met him, and he was sixteen. It was a few years later when the secret glances and wishful stares just weren’t enough anymore, and at the age of twenty one he had asked you to be his. Your nineteen year old self was ecstatic and clueless to the consequences that would come with forming a relationship with the Jedi, but at the time you didn’t care.

Now, at the same age he was when he confessed his feelings for you, the weight of your actions was finally catching up to you. 

You didn’t regret all that had happened in the last two years, no, not at all. In fact, they were the best years of your life. You just wished you had realized how doomed it was from the start.

Anakin was the brightest and most well-presented Jedi. He wasn’t allowed to form bonds or connect with people in the ways he has with you, yet that didn’t stop his heart from falling for yours when he was just a teen.

With that being said, the relationship had its issues from the beginning, back when the two of you were just relieved at knowing the feelings were mutual. It was never supposed to last.

That much was certain as you sat completely still on the bed, your legs crossed and your hands tucked away in the gap between your thighs. Your robe hung loosely on your form, the silk doing very little to stop the chills that grazed against your skin from the night air that creeped in through the open window. 

Your heartbeat was slower than normal as you tried to push away the negative thoughts that had plagued your mind for weeks now. Closing your eyes tightly, you thought back to past memories of your time spent with Anakin, back when you felt needed and wanted and desired. 

You thought back to your first kiss, the way his lips pressed to yours in a way that told you it was the first one he had ever shared. He had waited years for you, pushed away countless attempts to be the first person he experienced physical love with, all so he could say that you were his first.

His first love.

His first kiss.

His first time.

You remember that night like it was yesterday. Anakin was nervous but never allowed himself to show it as he was far too concerned with making you feel as comfortable as possible. His hand never left yours as his hips rocked into you for what felt like hours, the two of you being completely done for as your sounds mixed together to create a song that only belonged to you.

The night was full of love, need and warmth. Something you had been craving since the second your insecurities came spiralling back to you. 

The door opened, followed by the one that led into your bedroom. 

Anakin froze in the doorway, his gloved hand still on the knob as he looked at your tense form. He debated on whether or not to turn back around and apologise later for interrupting your meditation, but when your eyes opened to meet his he knew he was too late. 

So, instead, he closed the door, set his lightsaber onto the dresser next to it before crossing the room and reaching for the window. “It’s cold tonight,” he said as he pulled the window shut and covered the glass with the dark curtains. When you didn’t respond to him, and didn’t even look at him, he walked the few steps towards the bed and reached out to you. “You must be freezing-”

His words die on his tongue when you involuntarily flinch away from him, his dark brows coming together in a furrow. 

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, forgoing his original plan to dress himself in his sleep attire before joining you on the bed. Still covered by the long clothes he had been wearing all day, he sat beside you and tried his best to get you to meet his eyes. “Talk to me, my love.”

Your bottom lip quivered as you refused to look at him, your hands moving to rest on your knees. “I can’t,” it came out as a whisper and the lack of your usual cheery voice had Anakin’s eyes narrowing in worry.

“Why not?” He wanted to touch you but he also knew your limits. Right now you were well past the point of being completely closed off and he wasn’t sure what he would trigger in you if he were to take your hand in his, like he wanted to.

Keeping your eyes glued to the floor, you turn your head just slightly as a sinking feeling takes over your chest. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,” you say quietly, tears gathering on your lower waterline as you finally grant him the gift of making eye contact.  

“What’s wrong?” He asked again, his left hand coming up to gently rest against your forehead. You hate how easily you lean into it. “Are you hurt?”

You nod and close your eyes again, causing a few tears to spill down the length of your face. 

Anakin felt his heart drop at your movement, his hand falling from your head to rest on your shoulder. His fingers gently press into your tense muscles as he asks, “Where does it hurt?”

Not being able to answer him with words quite yet, you bring one hand up to rest against your chest, just over where your heart was beating rapidly now. 

He shakes his head as a quiet sob takes over your body and he quickly wraps his arm around you. Pulling you into his side and running a comforting hand through your hair, he tries to make sense of what little information you had given him. “I don’t understand, angel,” he nearly whispers, not wanting to upset you further as you were clearly in a very fragile state of mind at the moment. “What do you mean your heart hurts?”

Taking in a shaky breath, you pull away from him and miss the look of hurt and confusion that flashes across his achingly beautiful face. “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” you murmur, your words muffled due to the build up of saliva in your mouth. “I don’t feel loved anymore.”

If there was a sure way to break Anakin’s heart, you had just done it with your words. He shook his head quickly, eyes squinting as he looked at you. “How could you ever feel that way?” He asked and placed his hand on your knee, his brows further furrowing when you pulled away from him. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”

“Because,” you whimpered, wrapping the robe around you tighter and bunching the fabric up in your hands. “It hurts, Anakin.”

He reeled back in surprise, your words having completely caught him off guard. “What are you talking about? I’ve touched you many times before, you’ve never acted this way then,”

Shaking your head, you watch as a tear slips from your eye and lands on the sheets below you. “I don’t think you could ever hurt me with your hands,” you trail off, further confusing the poor man beside you.

“Baby,” the nickname was one he rarely used and you knew he was beginning to feel scared, nervous and frustrated all at once as it rolled off his tongue without a second thought. “Talk to me, please.”

You repeat your earlier words, “I can’t,”

Your words and the way you had become so closed in a matter of seconds had his heart beating cautiously in his chest, its way of protecting itself and preparing him for the ache he had a feeling was approaching fast. “Please,” he begged, desperate for anything at this point.

He didn’t know what happened or what was going on in that head of yours, but he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You weren’t giving him much to go off of and it was driving him wild, his head coming up with various outcomes of this conversation, none of which ended well.

When you didn’t answer him or show him any form of comfort, his body betrayed his mind as it seeked out a sense of normalcy and had his arm reaching out once again, this time his hand wrapping tightly around your wrist when his frustration became too much. 

You turned to him, your teary eyes meeting his scared blue ones. “I don’t see a future with you anymore,” you mumbled, keeping eye contact. Anakin reeled back again, his hand pulling away from your arm as it no longer rewarded him with the sweet feeling that always came when he touched you. 

“What?”

You swallowed harshly, your eyes looking down at the curve of his lips before settling back on his blue orbs. “I’m worried you’ve given your heart away to someone else. Someone who I don’t compare to,” you looked down at your shaking hands, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes to regain a sliver of strength back. “Padmè is a true gem, Anakin. I can see why she captivates you so much.”

Anakin couldn’t let you go on, not when he had no idea what you were talking about. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, putting a pause to your compliments of the woman he considered a friend and that was it. “What is this about?”

You give him a little shrug, guilty eyes meeting his. “I’ve been feeling lonely, I guess,” 

He looked down as he tried to find the right words to say. A million questions swam around in his head, all of which he had no answer to. 

How had he not noticed this?

How long have you been feeling this way? Lonely, left out, neglected.

Why hadn’t he realised that you were lost and needed him to help bring you back?

He had sworn to both you and himself that he would never leave you alone to the point where you would begin to question his intentions and the meaning of your relationship that he held so closely to his heart. “Why haven’t you told me this?” He asked, then regretfully added, “What does Padmè have to do with all this?”

He wished he didn’t ask about that last part.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Seems like the two of you have gotten quite close,” you answer the question and continue, “I haven’t seen you much lately, not alone, anyway. Every time I went in search of you, I’d find you with her, talking about the things you have only ever shared with me.”

Maybe you were selfish, but you pushed away all thoughts to keep him by your side. In reality, it was you slipping away from him, not the other way around like you had thought it was. 

Unbeknownst to you, the type of person you are is one who needs reassurance and guidance. Not all the time, not even often. Just every once in a while would suffice. The fact that you hadn’t had a heart to heart with Anakin in months, and the fact that he was MIA half the time, mixed with the return of your past worries only left you feeling abandoned and not needed. 

“I fear you’ve bonded with her without even realising it,”

“No,” he shut that down quickly, his legs moving before his brain could catch up with them. He lifted himself from the bed and stood in front of your shaking frame from your place on the edge. “No. No, stars, how could you say that?”

Your words felt like they were causing him physical pain and he didn’t want to hear anymore. 

You were the light of his life, the reason he fought so hard whenever he was sent away on missions, and the sole purpose of wanting a better future. In all honesty, Anakin couldn’t see a future without you in it. You are by far the most important person in his life and the one he couldn’t live without. It worried him at first when his feelings for you went beyond anything he had ever felt, but you whisked away his worries by peppering his face with kisses whenever he returned to your shared room after a long day and filled his heart with an almost overwhelming amount of love.

Your hands tore away any stress he took home with him in gentle caresses and your smile made any bad and dark day seem a bit brighter. 

Without a doubt, you are the love of his life, and he hates that you have begun to question that, as well as your importance in his life. “I can’t help it,” you say quietly, your voice shaking slightly. “The doubts have come back, Anakin. I can’t fight them on my own anymore. I tried, but I keep failing to feel that sense of belonging like before.”

Anakin fell to his knees before you, his hands reaching for yours and pressing kiss after kiss to the back of them. “Let me help you, please. I can fix this, I can save us, you just have to let me in…just like before,” he felt like a poor excuse of a lover at this point, his failure to realise that you were a shell of your former self now weighing heavy on him, but that didn’t stop him from getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. A second chance. “Please, my love..come back to me.”

Your eyes shut tightly as more tears rushed down your face and you could no longer look at him. “For months I’ve been wanting to hear you say that,” you trail off, still not opening your eyes and further closing yourself off. “Now that you have….I still don’t feel any better.”

He was too late. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before grazing the back of your hand against the side of his face as he stares up at you. “I’m here. I’m still me and we’re still us.”

Even though it was clear you no longer believed that. 

His words should’ve been enough. You should’ve been reassured by now, but you weren’t. You weren’t sure why his words went right through you and you didn’t want to find out just how far you’ve slipped from reality. How far you’ve slipped from him.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he tried desperately to get you to meet his eyes. “My heart is yours, angel. It always has been and it always will be. There is no other person in the galaxy who will ever get me in the way you do. We’re meant to be together, my love. I know we are, you know we are. Why won’t you let me in?”

Your head shakes as you open your eyes, your hand turning in his grip and softly caressing the side of his face, something that never failed to bring him comfort. As soon as he felt his heart start to heal from your touch, all was dulled again as you murmured the words that will haunt him forever. “I’m sorry, Ankin,” you whisper, pulling your hand away all too soon and standing up, making his other hand fall from where it was wrapped around your waist. “We tried.”

Walking past him, you open the door to the room and make your exit. Anakin stands up quickly, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he follows you out like a lost soul trying to find its way back to its person. “Please, please, don’t do this,” he begs as the first of many tears leave his eyes. His hand wraps around your wrist and due to his strength, he successfully puts a pause on your escape. “I love you, more than anything else. Please.”

You tense under his heart broken stare and allow him to place your hand over his heart, where you could just barely feel the quick beats against your fingers. 

“Please, don’t leave me,” he whimpered, pressing your hand harder against his chest. “Please, it hurts.”

The thought of losing you had manifested into physical pain as he watched everything he ever knew be ripped away from his grasp. He was ashamed that the continuous stabs he felt to his heart were the same ones you had been feeling for months, causing you to suffer in silence behind closed doors. 

You hold back a sob as you bring both hands up to caress his face, pulling him down just slightly so his forehead was pressed to yours. Anakin resisted the urge to close the distance completely and kiss you with everything he had in him - his last resort as clearly his words weren’t effective at all - and show you that he really could not function properly without you. 

Instead, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and he pulled you into him so your chest was pressed to his. “I don’t wish to cause you any pain, Anakin,” you whispered, basking in your last moments with him. With a chaste kiss placed to his temple, you ignore the quiet whimpers that left his lips. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

You pry yourself away from him and quickly open the door, fleeing into the empty and dark hallway.

Anakin cried out, his hands reaching out for you until your smaller frame used its advantage of being much quicker than him and disappeared from his sight. He stumbled around the dark room, everything feeling a lot quieter and heavier now that your presence was fading away. He fell against the wall, his body giving up and causing him to slide downwards until he hit the floor with a painful thud - a pain of which didn’t register very well as he had become lost.

His head had seemed to dissolve any and all happy memories he shared with you, only being met with the few arguments the two of you had shared during your years together. They hit him harder than they did when they first occurred, something that sent jolts of pain to his entire being.

He would give anything to have this just be the result of another disagreement, one that left the both of you frustrated and angry, but still together. One where, despite your harsh tones, you were still each other’s person. One where you were left with the reassurance that everything would eventually work itself out, as long as you didn’t give up on one another. 

And Anakin Skywalker will never give up on you, even after you had just broken his entire soul and left before he got the chance to pick himself back up and fight for you some more. 

His eyes stay fixated on the tall window, his pupils dilating just slightly as he feels a particularly sharp stab to his heart, followed by a sudden urge to turn everything that surrounds him upside down in hopes to dull the emptiness that had formed within him. 

A darkness circled around him and it was something he had never felt nor seen before. All he knew was that it felt so inviting, so warm and as though it would provide Anakin the comfort he hadn’t felt since he returned home.

-

First time writing for Anakin <3 I'm in my Hayden era (for the 987th time) and currently resisting writing for his other characters.

[replaytech]

these spot the difference games just keep getting harder

i hope nobody has done this yet😭

[cookybananas]

It's Been A Long Time, Old Friend (Part I) - Unburnt!Darth Vader x Reader

summary: where Darth Vader arrives on the planet of Lianna. Only to discover that the Queen of Lianna was once his old flame during his Jedi years.

"And there you are! You're all set to go your Excellency." Chira, your handmaiden said after putting some final touches to your look.

"Chira, you know you don't have to call me that when we're alone right?" You responded, looking at yourself in the large vanity mirror. Your husband, Kairos, King of Lianna, was having meeting with the Emperor's right hand man, Lord Vader. Ever since your arranged marriage to him, it is expected of you to appear alongside him in his meetings to get a second opinion and to look like an accessory.

Never in million of years you would find yourself in an arranged marriage to a man you've never met, but here you are. Two years after the fall of the Jedi, you've traveled from planet to planet, evading inquisitors from finding and capturing you. There was one day you found yourself in a slave trading operation, where you sold off as a promising bride to your now husband, King Kairos of Lianna. At first, Kairos was hesitant in marrying you since you were a slave, but he had a duty to give his father a long lineage of heirs and his people a beautiful Queen to follow.

However, the marriage had been rocky from the get-go and continued to remain that way. You were never interested in him nor was he into you. No matter how hard you both tried to like each other, and understand one another, you both would always have opposing viewing points and would always clash. Maybe it had something to do with your Jedi beliefs instilled in you or your distaste towards members of royal families, or the fact your husband was a bootlicker for the Emperor and his Galactic Empire, and was a constant supplier for their TIE fighters.

Because of this, you both decided to remain separate from each other from all hours of the day, as you both had your own duties to fulfill. You both eventually agreed to sleep in separate chambers due to how sour the marriage had turned.

As dangerous and stupid of an idea it was at the time, you believed it was somewhat a smart plan on your end to marry a royal family member. The inquisitors couldn't suspect a former Jedi to marry into royalty, right? Luckily, it helps that women who are apart of the Royal Family of Lianna, are expected to wear face paint and makeup to cover up their real identity. A similar practice that derived from the Royal Family of Naboo.

You had also cut yourself off the force right after the rise of the Empire. After Obi-Wan had told you that Anakin had turned to the dark side, you both knew what was expected to come for the both of you. Obi-Wan had gone his separate way, and you followed suit onto your own path.

Now here you were, covered in white face paint, heavy purple eyeshadow, and bright red lipstick embellished your facial features.

Chira assisted you in your royal gown. The gown was a deep purple, adorned with thousands of beads from the waist down. Chira placed your large halo crown onto your head, securing it place.

"Andddddd we're done! It looks like it's time for your meeting!" Chira said, eyeing you up and down, making sure you were looking like royalty.

"Thank you Chira. You are free to leave." You replied. Chira bowed before exiting your chambers.

You met your husband on the landing pad to the palace, where you both awaited for the arrival of Lord Vader.

"Darling, don't you look delightful today." Your husband, Kairos spoke up, lending his arm for you to take.

"Don't I always do?" You quipped, wrapping your arm around his. The whirring sound of a ship approached the landing pad. The door to the ship opened, revealing a line of stormtroopers, as they walked down the ramp. Right behind them, stood the terrifying Darth Vader.

"Ah, Lord Vader, shall we began our discourse?" Kairos spoke up, bowing to him, to which I silently followed his action.

"As always King Kairos." Lord Vader responded. The three of us, alongside the stormtrooper and our guards made our way to the conference hall.

-

The meeting was long and agonizing, as per usual. Kairos would argue for a larger price, the opposing party would try to bargain for a lower price, and yadda yadda.

Though this was your first meeting with the Emperor's apprentice, you have to stay, you weren't as intimidated as you thought you were. Yeah, you've heard grisly stories about the Sith Lord and cruel he can be, but after having to sit 2 hours straight across from him wasn't as bad. However, you did feel small under his gaze. His attention may be focused on your husband, but you couldn't help but sense the seeking glances from the Sith Lord himself from time to time.

"Perhaps we could ask your wife about her thoughts on this matter." Vader's mechanical voice shook you out of your thoughts and brought you back to reality. You looked at your husband, then at Lord Vader, before speaking up.

"Well, I do think it's possible to increase production and have our men producing 20,000 TIE fighters per week the next four weeks with the price of 7,000,000 Imperial credits." You offered, the amount that was way less than what your husband had originally offer, that being 20,000,000. Kairos feigned a smile as he squeezed your thigh in response to your offer, indicating that he was not satisfied with the amount you've offered to Lord Vader.

"We have a deal. I will return in two weeks to see the progress. It was a pleasure doing business with you as always King Kairos." The Sith Lord responded, now standing abruptly from his seat. Both Kairos and I followed suit. Kairos shaking his hand with Lord Vader, sealing the deal.

"And I see you have a wife. From what I recall, I don't remember you being married." The Sith Lord piqued. I adverted my gaze away from Lord Vader's intense gaze. Kairos squeezed my arm before speaking up.

"Well, we haven't been married that long Lord Vader. We had just gotten married shortly after our last meeting, so it's been 4 months." Kairos smiled down at me, to which I returned. "You will see her more often in our future encounters my Lord."

"I look forward to them." Vader responded, eyeing me up and down once more. Kairos and I assist Vader and his stormtroopers to his ship on the landing pad. After watching his ship depart, Kairos releases his arm from mine and walks back inside the palace, into his private chambers. I sigh to myself, watching Lord Vader's ship fly off in the horizon, before making my way into my chambers.

-

He couldn't put a finger on it, but something about you stirred something inside him. He didn't want to stare at you for too long, he knew it would make you uncomfortable, but there was just something about you that seemed familiar. Upon landing on the landing pad, he felt a faint force signature. Though you cut off yourself off from the force two years ago, some parts of you still lingered in the force.

After Vader's departure from the palace, he hadn't left the planet's atmosphere yet. In fact, his ship was on autopilot in the sky as he was busy sending a message to his master to tell him his discovery. Vader had a mission to get rid of every last Jedi, whether it meant to turn them into inquisitors or kill them off entirely.

"Master, it would seem I've made a discovery." Vader spoke to the blue figure on the holotable to his ship.

"And what would that discovery be Lord Vader?" The Emperor's tone sounding a bit impatient at his apprentice's words.

"It would appear that Queen of Lianna could be a force-sensitive individual, Master."

"Is that so my apprentice? What an interesting discovery... Perhaps we could turn her into a pawn, or a weapon... I would keep an eye on this one, Lord Vader. Perhaps she is a lot stronger with the force than we may realize." The Emperor responded, somewhat surprised that a Jedi had found themselves entangled in a royal family.

"Yes my master." Vader responded before the figure of Palpatine disappeared from the holotable. He had a new objective now. Vader wanted to alter the deal now. Instead of visiting in two weeks to check on the progress, he in fact, wanted to oversee the progress every day until he had gotten his TIE fighters. With this, Vader had made his way back to the palace.

-

"Your Majesty! You must come quickly!" Chira, your handmaiden had barged into your chambers. Unsure what was happening, you dropped the book you were reading and followed her.

"What's the matter Chira? Has something happened?" You asked, both of you fastening your pace in the direction of the throne room.

"I-it's Lord Vader. He came back...The King requested your presence." Chira huffed out. Both you and Chira arrived outside the tall doors to the throne room. You took a deep breath and corrected your posture before entering the room. The doors slowly opened, revealing the backsides of numerous stormtroopers and Lord Vader. Kairos, was seated on his throne, talking to Lord Vader when you caught his attention.

"My love, come." Kairos stood up, gesturing for you to come sit in your throne next to his. The stormtroopers and Lord Vader turn around to face you as you hurriedly made your way over to your royal seat.

"I have altered the deal. I will be overseeing the progress on the TIE fighters from now." Darth Vader's voice echoed throughout the room. You nervously looked over at your husband, unsure what he had gotten yourselves into.

"Y-Yes, your Lord. May I ask-"

"There will be no questions. I ask that you will provide my men lodging and meals for the duration of their stay." The Sith Lord interrupted him. To which Kairos could do nothing about nod enthusiastically at Lord Vader's requests. "Tomorrow, you will provide me a tour of your facilities as I will begin to oversee all production of my TIE fighters."

"Of course my Lord." Kairos stood up, bowing to Lord Vader. You sat there, staring at your husband, anxious of what was yet to come.

-

"What the hell was that Kairos?!" You exclaimed. Both you and Kairos were having another one of your disputes in his chambers once again. This time, it was about Lord Vader's little vacation at the palace and overseeing the planet's assets. "When are you going to stop kissing the Empire ass and stand up for yourself for once?"

"I had no choice Y/N! Have you forgotten that Lord Vader and the Emperor are the most cruel and powerful beings in this star system?! They'll cut off my arm if I were to disagree with them." Kairos retorted. You scoffed at the same excuse he had used ever since you brought this topic up. "The Empire is funding our planet. We are an asset to the Empire. We're becoming richer and richer with every TIE fighter and Imperial weapons we sell them. With this, we can help our people."

"I don't know want to hear it anymore Kairos. Our people still suffer at the hands of the Empire, whether it is happening directly or indirectly." You made your way to the door. "You may not see it now, but the damage done to the planet and the people will be irreparable when you come to your senses." With that, you slammed the door your husband's door shut. You huffed out in frustration, your heels clicking on the marble flooring as you stormed toward your chambers. Little did you know, Vader was around the corner, eavesdropping on the argument that you and Kairos had moments ago. The Sith Lord smiled to himself, realizing that he use this to further manipulate the King of Lianna with the knowledge that his marriage was crippling.

-

After taking a long soak in your bath and finishing your nighttime routine, you were eager to get some rest. Shutting the lamp on your nightstand, you began to snooze off.

Images of being in the Jedi Temple began to flood your dreams. Realizing what your mind was doing, you tried to shut down those dreams, worried that it would pull you deeper into the force and down the path of memories that you did not want to relive. But what you didn't know, Darth Vader was in the meditation chambers that the Lianna medical staff and engineers had constructed for the Sith Lord. Darth Vader was using the force to encourage you to reveal yourself. There was something oddly familiar about you that made him curious.

After trying to get into your mind, he couldn't. Either you had nothing interesting going in your mind or that you were really good at blocking him out. Vader knew he had to be careful. He couldn't give away his true intentions to why he was here on the planet of Lianna. Yes, he and Palpatine need the TIE fighters, however this is different now. A force-sensitive woman who was a Queen was the topic interest at the moment. Plus, Vader needed to be away from the Death Star. Staring at the dark gray walls and into hyperspace just wasn't cutting it for him. Luckily the planet of Lianna was filled with lush gardens and vast lakes that Vader and his men could enjoy the duration of their stay.

-

next part: It's Been A Long Time, Old Friend (Part II)

[themandaloriansdiaries]

Sorry Not Sorry

Warnings: Minors dni!! fingering, slight name calling (nothing super harsh) (oral, f receiving) slight choking, hair pulling. dirty talk. p in v, unprotected rough sex. (don't be silly, wrap that willy) smut, smut, smut!! and some fluff towards the end

Pairings: Anakin Skywalker x F reader

A/N: I really love the way this came out. It literally took forever because I wanted it to be perfect!! shoutout to my bestie for helping on some parts. n e ways, I hope you all love it as much as I do :))))

Word Count: 2.1k

~~

While you and Anakin were both out on a mission, you had the urge to be a bit devious; payback one would call it.  He had been getting on your nerves during the flight home seeing that he was frustrated about the mission not going the way he wanted it to.

You figured why not make his day as miserable as he’s made yours? 

It truly wouldn't be that hard to make him even more frustrated, something as simple as disobeying him in front of the others would set him off. You smirked at the thought of that. You knew by doing so, you'd deal with the consequences later.. in the bedroom. 

Later on that day, Anakin had asked you to do something and with no hesitation, you simply said no. This took him by surprise, only because he's never experienced this kind of attitude from you. 

“Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly?" He asked, his tone low. 

You looked at him with a smug expression on your face. “You heard me correctly, I said no." This caused you to receive a look from him. You paid no attention to him and continued on with what you were doing. As you sat quietly, wishing the ride home would go by faster. 

What you hadn’t noticed was Anakin had sat next to you and moved closer to you at some point. He was so close to you that you could feel his lips brush against your earlobe. “Once we land I want you to meet me in my room.” He whispered in your ear, causing chills to go down your spine. 

As you landed, you quickly got up from your seat and made your way to your quarters. You already knew what was going to happen once you got into Anakin's room, so you figured you would freshen up. A quick shower to wash up when you stepped out of the shower, you decided to spray his favorite perfume. 

Anytime you wear that scent, it drove him nuts.

Wrapping your robe around your body, you made your way down to his bedroom. You enter the room and before you could even call out to him ,you feel yourself being pushed up against the wall. A gasp slips from your lips at the sudden contact of your back against the cold wall. A chuckle came from the corner of the room, causing you to look in the direction of the noise. It wasn’t a big shocker to see him slowly walk out into the light. 

“You didn't think I forgot about what you did earlier did you?" He's closer now, his face inches away from yours. You look up at him, deciding to play along. 

“What did I do?" you ask innocently, batting your lashes in hopes of getting away with it.  

His hands find their way towards your body, his grip tight on your hips. “Oh please y/n, don't play dumb,” his lips against your neck as he speaks.

He’s able to take in your scent, causing him to groan. “You know what that perfume does to me.” He loves the way that perfume scent mixes in with your skin.

Hearing him fold just from that makes you smirk. “I know how much you love it, that’s why I wore it”

His hands move their way up to your breasts and he grips them, caressing them roughly. It doesn't even hurt, if anything it feels too good. 

You moan softly as his hands toy with your breasts. "oh Ani-" you're cut off by him. 

“It’s master to you" He says, one hand making his way to grip your neck while his other hand continues to caress your other breast. Despite your eyes being closed enjoying the attention you are receiving from him, you could feel his eyes fixed on you; watching your every move, waiting to see how you’d react. 

Anakin knew the moment he got you in the room, you’d cave; you always did. You were putty in his hands and you both knew it. 

you're not sure what turned you on more.. the tight grip he had on your neck or the fact that you knew that soon you'd be on all fours getting fucked senselessly by him.

you were truly such a whore for him and he knew it too. always loving his roughness with you, letting him have his way with you. He loved it. He loved seeing the way you would crumble under him, how weak he could make you just by his touch.

"You think you're slick. disobeying me in front of the others. trying to make me look like some bitch?" he said, you could hear a small hint of anger in his voice. He pushed himself up against you. you felt yourself getting wetter by the minute. the feeling of his hard cock brushing against your aching core, the feeling drove you insane.

you wanted nothing more than to feel him deep inside of you already.

"I'm sorry Master" you struggled to get your words out, distracted by him. truthfully, you weren't actually sorry. You only said it because you knew that's exactly what he wanted to hear from you. He smirked at the sound of your voice, you sounded so small to him, so fragile. He loved the affect he had on you.  

soon he would be breaking you apart.

“Strip.” He's watching you like a hawk, as you take each piece of clothing you have on, off.

he takes a few steps back from you. "Get on the bed, now" you do as you're told but instead of actually getting on the bed you decide to stand in front of it.

"I said get on the bed" he’s right in front of you now. His eyes are darker. He pushes you down roughly onto the bed. All you can do in that moment is look up at him.

He’s now towering over you, he uses his flesh hand to roughly spread open your legs.; his fingers run along your wet slit, spreading your folds, exposing your juices to him. “Look at how wet you are for me” he smirks.

His fingers apply pressure to your clit. He's moving them in a circular motion, painfully slow.

Your eyes are shut; you’re bottom lip in between your teeth while you try to keep in your moans. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction but you’ve failed.

Pushing yourself against his hand “p-please Master.”

“What is it y/n, spit it out.” He’s amused with how much of an affect he has on you.

“I need more. Please” you manage to get out between your whimpers.

He grows harder at the sight of you; the way you’re falling apart just by his touch, the way you sound, those small noises that are escaping your lips.

As much as he doesn’t want to give in to you. He can’t wait any longer. Just as you’re aching for him, he’s aching for you too.

He thinks about the way your walls stretch around his length. The way he fills you up so perfectly.

“Fuck this.” He gives in; his head is now in between your thighs. He doesn’t waste anymore time. His tongue laps at your swollen clit, he’s now slipped two fingers in you, fucking you with them.

Your back is now arched, your head thrown back. All you can do is moan. Your hands resting on the back of his head, pushing him further into you. “Oh f-fuck, fuck, you make me feel so good Master” you cry out through gritted teeth.

He groans against you, continuing on with what he’s doing. He feels your walls tighten around his fingers, he knows what that means. You’re close. He stops. Pulling his fingers out, moving his head. Instead of you cumming on his fingers.. he wants you to cum all over his cock.

You whimper at the sudden loss of his touch.; you stare at him with a pout now on your lips. “That wasn’t nice”

“Does it look like I care? I want you on all fours. Now." you do as you're told and reposition yourself; now your face pressed against the pillows and your ass high up in the air. He stares at your body, almost creaming his pants at the sight of you.

You wait eagerly, you’re so ready to be filled up and used by your Master.

He quickly undresses himself; he’s now positioned behind you. His hand grips your hip tightly, while the other grabs ahold of his cock and lines himself up at your entrance.

Before slipping into you; he’s teasing you by running the tip of his cock up and down your slit, spreading the wetness that you and him both created.

You being impatient, you try to push yourself against him. Earning a slap to your ass. “Be patient, whore.”

You moan at his words.

Before you know it, he slides into you, slowly, making sure you feel every inch of him as he fills you up. He watches as his cock disappears. Moaning at the feeling of your walls stretching around him. Without any hesitation, he pulls out and thrusts back into you roughly.; fucking you like the dirty little whore you are.

The room is filled with the sounds of your skin slapping against one another. Your moans and his groans.

You move your hips; thrusting back into him. This new action from you drives him crazy, causing him to thrust even harder.

“You feel so good inside of me, Master! Please don't stop .” You practically scream out.

“F-fuck y/n. I won’t! I’m gonna keep fucking you like the little whore you are.” his eyes are shut, moaning loudly, his hips drilling into yours.

His movements remain at the same pace as before, his hand still tightly gripping your hip. 

Moans escaping you both. 

You shove your face in the pillow in an attempt to quiet your moans. 

Anakin notices; wrapping your hair around his free hand, he pulls your head back from the pillows. “Don't hide your sounds, I want them all to hear how good I make you feel." He meant every word. He really did not care if anyone heard you both. He wanted the others to hear you, to know that you are his.

You belonged to him. 

“More,” you call, begging for him to give you more. Anakin could never say no to you. His hand slid down the curve of your spine, resting between your shoulder blades. Quickly moving his arm around you. He pulls you up, your back against his chest. His hand finds its way to your throat, gripping it.

It was needy and messy; feeling you around him drove him mad, hearing you ask him for more was the cherry on top.

"This is what you wanted, wasn't it?" Anakin asks, your little hand wrapping around his wrist. You nod, unable to verbally answer him.

"Good girl."

Your moans continue to echo throughout the room. finally you reach down to apply pressure to your clit; rubbing aggressively, this and his harsh thrusts throw you over the edge. your head thrown back, eyes rolled back. "I'm gonna cum.” You cry out. 

“Cum for me, cum all over my cock baby." His thrusts become sloppier, indicating he's close as well. 

"I'm cumming, gonna fill you up." he groans loudly, filling you up with his seed. 

Small whimpers escape your lips, your body trembling from the intense orgasm you just experienced. 

He gives you a minute before pulling out, and you feel him get off the bed but you aren’t sure where he went. You’re much too tired and to be frank, fucked out, to even care at that point. 

The water is running and you can hear footsteps. Anakin comes back, crouching down by the bed. He rubs your back softly and you look over at him. 

“C’mon,” he says, his hand stretched out for you as he helped you sit up. 

Anakin wraps your robe around you before helping you stand, legs like jello as he slowly walks you towards the bathroom. 

The tub is full and there’s bubbles peeking over the ledge. 

You can’t help the giggle as you glance over at him, “you ran me a bath?” 

“it was the least I could do,” he smiles, kissing your temple as he walks you to the tub. 

He takes the robe from you, his hand in yours as you step into the tub, a satisfied hum when you sink into the warm water. Anakin’s crouched down by the tub now, his arm hanging in the tub as you look at him. Your hand comes up to cup his cheek. 

“I love you, you know that, right?” You tell him, “no matter what.” 

Anakin smiles, turning to press a kiss to your palm. 

“I love you.” 

[ghulehthezombiequeen]

Let you break my heart again - Anakin x Jedi reader

masterlist.

Author’s note: hi. so uh. yeah I got a little silly and decided to write angst again. and wrote more than I was aiming for but that’s okay LMAO— Also omg THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON MY SWISS FIC?? you’re the best <3 Other things to note: Revenge of the Sith era Anakin but Anakin and Padmé aren’t married (they’re courting/dating), reader is a Jedi and has had a crush on Anakin since like the beginning of time /j, reader is majorly jealous of Padmé

Warnings: ANGST, unrequited love, hurt/comfort, Anakin uses a derogatory word for droids, no pronouns used for reader

Word count: 2114 words

Propped against a wall, you saw Anakin enter the Jedi temple, looking a bit disheveled. But  you knew he had just returned from a mission with Obi-Wan, so maybe it went terribly wrong, maybe it went really well. 

You attempted to approach him, but Padmé had already beat you to it, like she always did. You felt a pang in your heart as you saw him hug her, longing to be in her place. Sadly, you knew it would never happen, with the looks they’d exchange with each other when they thought no one was watching. But you were. Finally, after what had seemed like forever, Padmé left to do her duties. You took this opportunity and rushed to him, your heart skipping a beat. “Hey.. how did it go?” You asked with a soft smile. Anakin nodded at you, then sighed. “Fine, I guess.. We didn’t really do much, just killed a bunch of clankers.” You caught yourself before making a face at him for using the derogatory word for droids; but you understood why he chose that word. 

“Well.. I mean, at least it was.. good practice?” You giggled a bit, trying to cheer him up. 

Anakin forced a light chuckle. “Yeah..” He said, looking off to the side, his mind somewhere else. You gave him a soft look. “Hey.. everything okay over there?” You asked kindly, your heart skipping a beat as he looked back at you. “No.. not really…” he admitted with a sigh. He seemed like he wanted to say more, but couldn’t find the right words. “..thanks for asking, though.” He added sincerely. 

You furrowed your brows and studied his expression. “Hey, uh… do you want to go somewhere else and talk about it, perhaps?” You offered. 

He thought for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Yeah, I could use… someone to talk to...” 

“Alright, then. Wanna head to the library? It’s usually deserted at this hour..” You smiled at him, and Anakin perked up a little at the mention of it. “Yeah, actually… that’d be great.. there’s some new data I’ve been meaning to catch up on as well.” 

You two slowly made your way to the library, finding a table in the very back. Anakin sat down on one of the old worn out chairs, staring into the oblivion. “I feel… different..” He mumbled, almost to himself. “What’s wrong?” You sat down next to him, tilting your head and studying his expression. You waited a few seconds before speaking up. “..is it about Padmé?” You question. 

Anakin nodded. It was hard to explain, but he felt something. Something that both terrified him and excited him. 

“How did you know?” Anakin asked. “Ahah.. lucky guess?” You smiled, then giving him a sympathetic look. “..is she okay? Are you two okay?”

Anakin sighed. "Yeah... I think we are." He put his head down, leaning his arms on the table. 

“She's so beautiful…” Anakin whispered. “And she's smart.. And... caring... and... wonderful…”  Anakin trailed off, unknowingly breaking your heart with every word. “…You love her a lot… don’t you? Well, I bet my lightsaber she loves you a lot as well.” You tried to smile through the pain, asking the very question that could possibly break you, but you had to know. 

Anakin looked up at you, a look of uncertainty on this face. “No, it's not that. I love her… it's just... It’s hard to describe.” Anakin said. 

“But.. sometimes, I just feel like... I don't need this.” He looked away from you. 

“This… this whole Jedi… thing. I don’t know if I want to be a Jedi anymore.” Anakin whispered, his words dripping with emotion. “I want something different.” He said hesitantly, looking back at you. 

“…I see. What is it you want, exactly?” You whispered curiously. Anakin seemed to think for awhile. 

“I don't want the Jedi Order, that's for sure.” Anakin said. 

“I want freedom. I want... something... more. Something..." He trailed off. 

“I want to be happy.” Anakin finally said, almost as if it was a confession. “But I'm... afraid.” 

You nodded in understanding. You want freedom too, but not in the same way; you wanted to just be free from this unrequited love, to be free from this constant heartbreak…

“…why are you afraid?” You asked him softly. 

Anakin stared at the table in front of him. “I don’t know, it’s just… if I let go of this… this Jedi thing…” He said, the word ‘Jedi’ having a slight hint of hatred in it. “..I’m not sure if I can become anything else. But at the same time… I don’t want this.” He continued, looking like he was on the verge of tears.  

You nodded. “I understand. I really do..”

You so desperately wanted to reach out and hold Anakin's hand, to comfort him and tell him that everything will be okay as long as they have each other. But you couldn't. You weren’t Padmé.

“…I feel like I'm going insane…” Anakin whispered, his voice quiet and strained. He felt ashamed, but also somewhat relieved that he finally let it out. 

“Sometimes I even think... I even thought…” Anakin trailed off.

“Never mind.” He said with a sigh.

“Wait, no.. you can tell me.. I promise I won’t tell anyone..” You reassured him. 

He looked back up at you. “Sometimes… I have these… thoughts.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “What kind of thoughts?” You asked gently. 

“…Dark thoughts. Violent thoughts. Thoughts that could.. that could get me expelled from the Jedi Order.” Anakin finished, his voice strained. He looked at the table, and you did too. “…I see.” You finally reply, looking back up at him in sympathy. “…do you think it’ll affect you soon? Like…. You’re almost at your breaking point?” 

Anakin took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know…” he answered. 

“I don’t know what I’m capable of..” He continued, his voice starting to shake. You notice him slowly, hesitantly reach his hand over the table and rest it on yours, his fingers trembling. 

You stared at your hand for a moment, then back at Anakin, feeling the pang in your heart again. Oh, if only he knew the pain he’d just caused… “Hey.. it’s okay, you’re strong… I know you can get through this. I know it.” You whispered to him, giving him a soft smile. 

Anakin leaned his head against the table, keeping his eyes shut. “Can you… can you do me a favor..?” He asked quietly. 

“Anything. Yeah.” You whispered immediately, ready to give your life for Anakin in a heartbeat if you were asked to do so. 

Anakin sighed. “Can... can you promise to stick with me? No matter what? Like a Jedi and his Padawan?” 

Anakin looked up at you. "Can... can you do that for me?" He asked. He looked like he was begging you for help.

You nodded. “Of course.. I’ll always be on your side, no matter what. I’ll always be here for you.” You whisper with a smile. Anakin looked up at you, tears starting to form in his eyes. “Thank you…” he whispered. 

A moment later Anakin embraced you in a tight hug, a feeling of relief washing over him. 

You tensed slightly, a blush forming on your face. The pang in your heart hit harder again, and you knew that this moment would haunt you forever. 

Nevertheless, you placed a hand gently on Anakin’s chest and wrapped your other arm around his waist, hugging him tighter. “Shh… don’t cry..” You whispered, hating to see him in pain even though you were probably hurting even more than he was. 

Anakin's words were muffled as he buried his head into your shoulder. It had been so long since someone had embraced him in a welcoming way. 

“I’m… I'm scared…” Anakin whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

You were the only thing grounding him to reality. 

“Hey, it’s okay… you’ll be okay.” You whispered reassuringly, rubbing Anakin’s back soothingly. The longer the two of you hugged, the more it hurt you. But you couldn’t understand it. Why were you feeling so much pain when he was showing you affection? Isn’t this what you wanted? 

Anakin lifted his head from your shoulder, looking back at you. He could feel his breath catching in his throat as he gazed into your eyes. Before he could even think, Anakin leaned in and softly kissed your lips. You could feel your cheeks get redder as he kissed you. Was this even real? You didn’t care; this was the happiest you’d ever been, almost as if you were in a trance. You kissed him back without hesitation, but then as quickly as the moment came, it was over; Anakin pulled away. Your eyes widened in realization as you snapped back into reality. Anakin seemed shocked as well, surprised by what he just did. “I….” He whispered, unsure of what to say. 

You looked at him in horror, thinking of what Padmé would do if she ever found out. 

“I… I’m sorry, I.. oh, no…” 

Not thinking straight, you quickly got up and ran away from the library, tears starting to blur your vision. 

“W-Wait! Come back!” Anakin called your name as he got up from the table, running after you. 

“J-Just leave me alone, Ani…” you pleaded as you covered your mouth with your hand, a sob escaping your lips. 

Anakin kept following you as you both raced down the halls, your footsteps echoing. Eventually he caught up with you and grabbed him by the shoulders. “No.. No, I won’t. Let me help you.” He said firmly as he took your hand and held it. “Please… you’re hurting me more than you realize..” You stared at him, tears starting to fall down your cheeks now. You wanted to pull your hand away, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to do so. 

“No, I want to be by your side. Through thick and thin,” Anakin said with a slight smile. “Padmé means a lot to me, but you... you are very special to me as well.” 

You looked away from him, taking in shaky breaths as more tears fell down your cheeks and you wiped them away before looking at him again. 

“Wait.. so… y-you don’t love Padmé?” You asked slowly. 

Anakin went red. “What? No no... I do love Padmé.” Anakin said, his voice getting a bit higher than he intended. Was he lying?

“But... I also love... I mean... uh…” Anakin was fumbling with his words. He wanted to say 'I love you,' but he didn't want to scare you. Anakin wasn't sure what he should do. He was stuck.

“Anakin.. don’t play games with me right now.” You pleaded. 

“Do you love me, or her?” You asked bluntly, tears still falling down your cheeks, your eyes turning puffy. 

Anakin took a deep breath.

“I… I choose... you.” Anakin said, looking at you.

For the first time since you had known each other, Anakin looked completely honest. He wasn't lying about anything. He looked at you with eyes of complete adoration.

"I choose... you." Anakin repeated.

You looked down at the ground, his words registering in your brain. “H-How do I know… you’re not lying to me right now to make me feel better?” 

Anakin took his fingers and lifted your gaze. “Look me in the eyes,” Anakin said, and you did.

“I’m not lying to you, and I never will.” He said with complete honesty. 

“You mean more to me than anyone in the galaxy.” Anakin's voice softened. "You are more important to me than even Padmé,” Anakin said, looking you right in the eye.

You looked at Anakin with a desperate expression, shaking your head. 

“Oh, Ani…” You whispered, and before you knew it, you’d placed your lips on his again, this time full of passion. 

Anakin wrapped his arms around you and kissed you back just as passionately as tears formed in his eyes. “I love you.” He whispered.

Hearing those words from Anakin’s lips melted your heart, and you felt tears forming in your eyes again, but this time from pure joy. 

“I love you too.. Oh, Ani.. I’ve waited so long to hear you say that..” You whispered back, kissing him again. 

Anakin kissed back, not wanting the moment to end. He embraced you as if you were the only thing holding him together. 

It was like a fairytale come true. 

Anakin finally felt happy. Really happy. He had you to thank for it, as well as his own courage to take a chance. 

And now, you were finally with the one you loved. 

[euphoriacafe]

When the war felt like it was so close to being over you stood in front of the map overlooking the plan. You were tired.

Your eyes zoned in on the part of the section that would be your responsibility and all you could feel was anxiety spreading through your body.

You were so out of it that you didn’t even realize that everyone left the room leaving you by yourself. The air in space was cold making things almost worse for your anxiety.

Suddenly, a warm comforting hand is placed onto your shoulder giving a light squeeze. You looked to the side and saw Obi Wan give a concern gaze.

“Is everything alright?” His voice was quiet not wanting to draw any attention from outside the room. You nodded slowly looking him before looking down momentarily then returning your eyes to the map.

“Yes I’m fine… I’m just… taking a breather that’s all.” Your voice was quiet and tried to sound calm.

“Are you sure you are ready for this mission… you could always go back to the Jedi Temple?” Obi wan insisted as his hand that rested on your shoulder slide down the side of your arm slowly and gently.

You nodded your head with a quick “Yes. I’m fine Obi Wan.” Your eyes never leaving the map but you enjoyed the small touches he was playing onto your arm.

He came closer from behind you—his chest was now pressed against your back as he looked down onto your shoulder then he bent down a little bit letting the side of his head brush against the side of your head. His eyes trying to scan where you could possibly be looking.

His hand slid further down your arm to your hand and rubbed his thumb against your knuckles. “What are we looking at?” He asked softly his eyes never leaving the area you stared at.

You felt a small shiver- the hairs on your arm standing up as his other hand brushed on your other arm gently.

“I’m just reviewing the map…my area to be clear.” You added softly yet you tried to clean your throat. Your body welcomed his body to be molded into yours. He was so smooth with pressing his body closer to feel your energy.

“Is there an issue with it?” He questioned softly still rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“I just…I don’t want to go alone- I understand I’ll have the troops but- I don’t feel ready to be alone…i- I don’t want another loss.” You spoke quietly as your eyes fluttered closed for a few moments from your last mission of disaster.

“I can come with you.” He spoke quietly into your ear. “You’ll never be alone as long as I’m right beside you.