#Stan 100% keeps fruity sweets in his

[honoviadakai]

Diaboys at a Carne Asada with Hispanic S/O/Reader: Mukami edition

Ruki:

The moment you tell him your family invited them to the family Carne Asada, he’s already mentally recalling any and all books he might have in his library about Hispanic culture

The ever well read eldest Mukami son will NOT attend any sort of event without proper preparations sooo…I’d give yourself a week in advance…minimum

He’s also gonna learn the language as best he can

He’s not gonna be 100% fluent but he’s gonna sound like he is and that’s what’s important to him

Once you both arrive he’s met with generally well reception

At least from the women in your family

He’s handsome, well educated and quite the gentleman from their perspective! So don’t be surprised if they start gushing and even asking when you two plan to tie the knot

Now the men in your family…that’s a different story all together…

Depending on how they are, at best they’re indifferent about him and at worst they wanna mess with the “smart boy”

For the love of all that is pure and holy in this world, keep an eye on him so he doesn’t verbally tear someone a new one! 🙏

He’s also not scoring a lot of points with the kids in your family.

He might indulge them in a board game but if they wanna play a physical game like soccer, he’s probably not gonna do it so your cousins think he’s a little lame

He won’t drink beer, it smells too cheap and gross for him

Flat out will not partake in most of the stuff the men do

For example

If they start talking about cars, at best he’s gonna start expositing the history of how cars came to be

They wanna talk about farming? He’s gonna teach them the entirety of this history of agriculture from EVERY culture

Yeeeah…he’s not popular with the guy and some of the kids…

BUT! As stated earlier, he’s a hit with the women in your family!

He’ll help with any cooking and cleaning that anyone needs help with

Might show off and make a few dishes of his own that will be an instant hit with everyone

The dotting and fawning the other women are having towards him might be annoying to a good chunk of your family though

This guy unfortunately radiates too much rich white boy privilege to be truly accepted

Honestly bringing him is so dividing amongst your family that you’re better off bringing him every other invite

Kou:

Hooboi

This one’s gonna be fun 😈

This idea comes courtesy from @magnificentkidclamclod and I couldn’t agree more with her

The second you get the invite, sit Kou down and teach him about Selena (and really any Hispanic artists you can think of)

By the time the day ends, he’s a Selena Stan, memorizing her songs and dances and even thinking of writing a song of his own to honor her

If you show him a document about her life, keep an eye on him cuz the moment he finds out she was murdered and said murderer is alive, he’s gonna try to find her and start shit

As much as we’d all want him to…don’t, we don’t need a bloodbath on our hands here

Now to the party itself

If any family members of your family like J-pop…well I hope you liked hearing while it lasted, cuz the second he walks in, expect loud screams/squeals

He might get swarmed so help him by clearing a path and making it clear that he’s just here to enjoy the event and that he’s taken

He’s not very helpful in the kitchen or anything but your family thinks it’s kinda funny how useless this pop star is in the kitchen so they won’t complain

They’re also gonna tease his low spice tolerance but you and the younger kids will console him

He’s a hit with the kids since he’ll play with them and even perform silly little songs and dances for them

He doesn’t like beer, he prefers sweet, fruity cocktails

He might get teased for them but he’ll probably take the opportunity to drink some humans under the table as petty revenge

He’s gonna score some huge respect points with the men in your family

Now when it comes to the women, expect him to be an official member of the Chisme circle by the end of the night

He. LOVES. It.

It’s not only a good way to learn more about you and your family but it gives him a good space to vent with a genuine support group

This is a good thing for him but it’s kind of a weird thing for you

The reason is because he’s gonna know things about your family before YOU

Someone got a promotion? He knew hours ago

Someone went through a nasty break up? He sent them a gift basket days ago

Someone died? He had the funeral planned months in advance

It’s more than a little off putting…but you don’t have the heart to take that from him 😔

Now he’s canonical a pop idol, so there is no doubt in anyone’s minds that he’s gonna SLAY on the dance floor

But he’s surprisingly very good at singing along to songs, especially Selena songs

Don’t be fooled though, he doesn’t really understand the language, he’s just listened to the songs enough times to know the lyrics word for word 🤣

He’s not gonna learn the language fast but given enough time he’ll learn, eventually

He’s definitely gonna be someone your family hopes you bring at EVERY event

Yuma:

Yuma “Big Bear” Mukami…

Oh he’s gonna be welcomed with open arms

Now before he goes he genuinely might not go because it’s “too much of a hassle, I have gardening to do ya know!”

Tell him there’s free food, alcohol and if the even is gonna be at a ranch, tell him there’s animals and crops

He’s gonna change his tune real quick

Once he goes, he’s gonna have so much fun!

The moment he arrives…everyone is in awe at how big this dude is…it’s gonna boost his already huge ego

Expect him to flex and bost about his monstrous size, he’ll even put kids on his shoulders and spin them around for fun

Your family is gonna LOVE this rowdy man

Big dude in this case means big alcohol tolerance, he’s gonna drink your dad, uncles, grandfather and your neighbors under the table. They might end up adopting him by the time he wins 😆

He’s also very helpful in the kitchen and with cleaning.

He understands the importance of helping out to do hard work so if he sees your mom or someone else needs help, he’s getting off his ass to help

ALL the kids love him and want him to play with them

This dude is gonna become a human(vampiric) jungle gym so don’t get upset if your little cousin and siblings don’t wanna share him because he’s the perfect playmate for them

He’s not as good a dancer as Kou but you bet your bottom dollar he can throw down a good hoedown at least

His dancing style is powerful, aggressive and oddly sexy

Don’t be suprised if some of the women swoon over him

He’ll also help out with any crops and livestock

Hell, he’s even gonna share/swap farming/gardening advice

You might not see him again for a while once he starts talking about this tbh sooo…go get some food ^^;

Speaking of food, this guy eats like it’s the last meal he’s ever gonna eat

He’s also got a high spice tolerance that’s only rivaled by Azusa so the family will be impressed

They won’t be impressed with his Spanish skills but he’s stubborn and absolutely wants to learn for your sake and boy howdy does your family respect the effort

Honestly by the end of the night, it kinda feels like your family loves Yuma more than you 😂

Honestly they’re more excited for you two to get married that you two are soooo hop to it!

Azusa:

Oh Azusa…

Sweet little Azusa…

This one’s…gonna be tricky…

On one hand, you know how oh so sweet this man is and you know that he’d never intentionally hurt your family

On the other hand…it’s Azusa…

….

Listen, you gotta lay down the law with this guy

He’s a sweetheart that loves you with his whole undead heart but you NEED to let him know that he’s not allowed to play with knives or hurt himself in anyway on purpose

Even with a warning and some prep time, your family might not be super positively receptive to him

He’s tiny, looks frail(they bandages don’t help) and he speaks a tad slowly

Honestly your family might initially think he’s terminally ill or something

First thing they’re gonna do is sit him somewhere warm and give him a BIG plate of food

Ofc he’ll accept it gratefully, he’s gonna ask for hot sauce though

You told him about your tia’s extra spicy salsa and he really wants to try it

At first your family advises him not to, but he insists that he can

So they reluctantly give him some…

And he loves it! Hell he’s not even sweating!

That immediately impresses everyone and makes them less tense so they’re more comfortable with him being your lover

He’s gonna scare your little cousins though

Not because he’s being mean or hurting them

It’s cuz they asked him to play soccer…

The kids accidentally kicked the ball in his face and made his nose bleed, but Azusa didn’t even react much and even asked if they wanted to do that again but harder

This unnerves the kids but he’ll remember your words

He’s gonna try to be playful and act silly for them, it might not work for all of them but some of the kids will like him at least

He helps out when he can but…he’s just really accident prone…keep an eye on him when he’s washing dishes…please

He’s gonna drink with the men just to be polite, but he honestly doesn’t like beer

But if it’s to make your family happy, he’ll happily choke down the bitter beer

The men can tell but they honestly think it’s sweet that he’s enduring drinking with them just to keep everyone happy

They’ll eventually stop him and offer him some horchata or jamica instead

Azusa isn’t good at fast paced dancing, slow dancing is more his forte so get ready to be swept off your feet 😉

His Spanish skills….well they’re abysmal at best

He’s gonna eventually learn basic phrases like “Mi nombre es Azusa” or “¿Donde esta el baño?” But that’s about all he’s gonna know for a few years

Spanish is tricky for him so be patient

Over all your family does like him…but they think he’s odd…very sweet! But very odd…

Be careful when bringing him because he’s the one between the Mukami’s that might accidentally let them know he and his family are vampires

[mrslackles]

2X02 lookbook. Look 1: 8/10. so. much. car-wriggling. ugh! also, condom-less arm pocket! your fight club explanation would work for why no one seems to register the man climbing into & out of beth's van. also also, rio's dad HATES his straight up madonna-inspired catholic iconography as fashun. Look 2: 9.5/10. hands! hands! hands! and rio is totally judging kenny's outfit. do you even layer, bro? Look 3: 11/10. points added b/c whenever i see gifs or pics of this scene i hear the music.

Anon. The condomless arm pocket is really beginning to get to me because this show is obsessed with bomber jackets with these zippered pockets on the arms?!

I nearly screamed when I saw Stan in that jacket in the last episode. (Imagine that’s actually Rio’s one and they’ve been having a secret affair this whole time.) Also, Rio wears that same jacket in 3x01, so it’s officially even worse than his one pair of shoes for all of season 1.

Ok, your ratings:

8/10 for Look 1

The way he can’t just, like, seat himself is very obscene? He needs to sit, adjust, wriggle, readjust, bounce, rub backwards, bounce, snuggle, readjust. Especially in cars. He’s very serene in the pool scene by comparison. Definitely a potential fetish there 😂😂

And YES! His dad would give him all the shit for this. Wait till we get to the beanies.

9.5/10 for Look 2

Ugh. This is truly a good look. There’s something about it that makes it worth more than the sum of its parts. I think the blue lighting just suits him as well as blue shirts do.

“do you even layer, bro?” Took me OUT 🤣🤣🤣

11/10 for Look 3 -- You were doing so well with the fractions 😩😩 GASP!! I know what you’re doing! You’re trying to get Rio to come help you with math, aren’t you? You’re very sneaky, but Rio is fully booked with Kenny’s math and layering tutoring.

I’ll be honest, I was also very tempted to add points here because the scene itself is so fantastic. But then I realised he was not only wearing the same shirt from earlier, but also the exact same outfit from a previous episode and I had to mark him down. But then he got points back for the Cadillac. It’s a complicated system.

[ghostnebula]

what type of drunk do u think each loser is (slutty, angry, sad, etc.)

Stan and Eddie, sober priss(es) extraordinaire, are both very slutty drunks. Eddie hits the slutty drunk level around drink 3 (owing partially to the fact that he’s a lightweight and partially to the fact that he’s slightly less reserved than Stan while sober anyway. Slutty Eddie likes to dance. Is he good at it? Not necessarily. Does he have the hips for it? Fuck yeah. Does it turn Richie on every fucking time without fail? You bet your ass. Eddie only really dances for Richie anyway. Other people who have to witness it are just collateral damage. He’s just after Richie’s attention and weirdly confident about the affair.

Stan hits the slutty range around drink 5 or 6, depending on the type of alcohol/alcohol content. Tequila shots have been proven to make him turn into a dirty-talking hoe around the third, but further research is required, and Stan has refused to even be near tequila since their first fateful tryst. Bev has a video of him making out with Bill as a souvenir of the one and only time Stan every touched tequila. It was beautiful.

They’ve definitely had drunk sex. Multiple times. Pretty much whenever the Losers get drunk and Eddie doesn’t end up sleeping with Richie, he sleeps with Stan. 

Richie’s type of drunkenness ultimately depends on what he’s drinking, too. With whiskey or anything similar, Richie is a sad drunk, but also weirdly horny about it. It takes a bit to get him drunk, but when he gets there he gets really mopey and starts seeking reassurance from his friends. It is very touchy-feely, but that isn’t where the horny comes in. He just wants hugs and stuff. The horny comes in where Eddie is concerned, because of course it does. Once he’s convinced all the other Losers love him, he targets Eddie. Eddie assures Richie that he’s very loved and his jokes are very funny while Richie is wrapped bodily around him, and Richie, who has mostly gotten over his drunken misery, is ready to move on, so he’s like, “I’m not sure I believe you. I think you need to kiss me to prove it.” And because Eddie is already a ridiculous horny drunk who has wanted Richie’s attention this whole time, he obliges. For a long time. And then Richie’s finally like, “I’m still not convinced. We should go have sex about it. Just to make sure.” So that’s the typical progression of Richie’s drunkenness.

But if it’s anything else (especially vodka, for some fucking reason) Richie is a ridiculous energetic drunk and still overly-affectionate with all his friends. It’s like sober Richie x100. Very fun for the first ten minutes or so and way too hyper once the novelty wears off. This Richie also wants to get in Eddie’s pants, which is good, because Eddie is shaking his ass to shitty club music for him.

Bev is just Amy Santiago when she’s drunk.

Ben is fucking WEIRD when he’s drunk. Like straight out of book canon, just does the stupidest, wildest, most confusing shit when drunk. Talks in fucking riddles or something half the time. Shoots lemon juice up his nose for some goddamn reason. Someone send help. It’s impossible to pinpoint any kind of emotion with him, but whatever’s going on up there is unsettling. The drunker he gets, the weirder he gets. His friends think it’s the funniest thing ever, and keep pressing shots into his hands until he’s trying to walk on his hands across the bar. He can actually do it, which is the fun part. But that event usually immediately precedes the puking, so that’s how they know it’s time to stop. 

Mike gets weirdly philosophical. If you want life advice, give Mike a couple shots. He likes sweet/fruity drinks, so make sure the shots are at least 50% Sour Puss or something. If he gets TOO drunk, he starts to get weepy and extremely affectionate (him and Richie make a great pair at times like this). He just HAS TO tell his friends how much he treasures them. Drunk Mike is, like, way too smart to be as drunk as he is. It’s kinda scary. He couldn’t pass a single test of sobriety but he can solve all your problems and still speak fluent Elvish (because he’s a huge nerd). If Ben isn’t too drunk yet they can carry full conversations together like that (Ben is also a huge nerd lbr). Just don’t try to make him walk in a straight line. His hugs either get better when he’s drunk or FEEL better when the recipient is drunk. Maybe both. Has made out with Eddie a few times because Eddie wanted to and Richie was cool with it, and who doesn’t want to make out with Eddie? Bev also has this on video. She always seems to know when to start filming.

Bill is the happiest drunk on the planet. He also makes a good partner for Richie when Richie is having a sad drunk kind of day. His energy is infectious. He LOVES to dance, but not in the slutty way drunk Eddie does. He just genuinely wants to have fun and jump around to the beat of a song. Usually the life of the party -- if Richie isn’t the energetic kind of drunk at the time, because then he takes the spotlight. But Bill crashes HARD, and fast. One minute he’s going Mach 5, the next he’s lying down under the bar with Mike’s jacket bunched under his head as a pillow, insisting it is time to sleep. Naps on the car ride home 100% of the time. Does not wake up to walk himself to his room 50% of the time. Ben, Mike, and/or Richie usually end up half-dragging his stupid deadweight ass into the house and helping him get his shoes off. He sleeps for roughly 15 hours after nights he goes REALLY hard.

[kristablogs]

The intense flavor science behind Haribo’s gummies

The Haribo Goldbear's century-old recipe has evolved over time. Today, a gummy in Germany might taste different than one in Singapore, Brazil, or the US. (Stan Horaczek/)

A hundred years ago, the first Haribo factory cranked up its confectionery machines on the banks of Germany’s Rhine River. Started by 27-year-old Hans Riegel, the business stayed modest and local—until the founder made a marvelous culinary discovery. The exact formula to his bear-shaped success remains a secret to this day, but it’s recipe includes gelatin, sugar, a copper kettle, a rolling pin, and the magic of thermodynamics.

Haribo Goldbear gummies are now one of the top-selling candies in the world, spawning dozens of copycats and filling hundreds of fingerprint-smudged waiting-room jars. The company has grown out of Riegel’s home city of Bonn with 16 factories across Europe, Asia, Australia, and South America. It’s slated to open its first US production facility in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, in September.

The company cooks up 100 million gummy bears a day—on top of numerous other mouth-puckering chews. It sells more than 1,000 varieties in Germany, home to its current-day headquarters, and launches fresh lines every season, like this summer’s limited Passport edition. “Because of the way we produce our candies, we can make a lot of flavors and profiles with agility,” says Lauren Triffler, head of corporate communications of Haribo of America. US gummy fanatics can only choose from a modest 19 options at the moment. The sheer scale of the company makes it a powerhouse for profit, but it also lets it redefine how the candy industry creates certain fruit flavors, says Yael Vodovotz, a food-innovation scientist at Ohio State University. “They follow the trends and make the choices that change tastes.”

Anointing a new flavor to the Haribo lineup, however, takes some confection-making perfection. The company’s food scientists test each recipe exhaustively for aroma, texture, and regional preferences. The last step is key to ensuring a gummy will succeed across multiple markets. For example, Triffler says, Americans and Germans don’t always agree on what a “lemon” candy should taste like, making it tricky to develop a single yellow piece for a mix that suits everyone’s tongues. The company even had to change up Riegel’s famous recipe when introducing Goldbears stateside in the 1980s.

The company recently released a centennial Passport edition that samples from international varieties. It includes Goldbears, Starmix, Matador, Tagada, and Rotella. (Stan Horaczek/)

In general, customers in the US and Latin America have more of a sweet tooth than snackers in Japan and Western Europe. But in the past decade or so, Triffler says American candy lovers have shifted to the sour side. “The kids really like the Zing bites and streamers and the Twin Snakes, which is the second best-selling flavor after the bears. You see that change in generations.” Even in the tart profiles, no two gummy recipes are the same. Some candies are covered in crunchy sugar crystals, while others layer distinct textures like marshmallow and gelatin. “There’s always entertainment value in the chew,” Triffler adds.

Experiments aside (the company won’t admit it, but the berry-blue Smurfs are an experiment that just happened to be a convenience store hit), there’s still a lot to learn about the chemistry of gummies. “A firm chew with a burst of flavor and plenty of servings in one bag” is what keeps Haribo customers coming back for more, Triffler says. Oddly enough, a favorite flavor doesn’t need to match up with its real-life fruity counterpart. The strawberry Goldbear is actually a bright lime color, but nobody seems to mind as long as the taste is consistent from bite to bite.

Beyond that, Haribo is quite tight-lipped about what makes their gummies such a culinary delight. But outside of the candy industry, food scientists are upfront about the challenges of crafting gummies. “Most gummy confections contain 5 to 10 percent fruit juice and the rest is sugar water,” Vodovotz says. “There are non-synthetic flavors and dyes, but they’re really still mostly chemicals.”

She switches up the traditional formula and uses freeze-dried fruits and powdered vegetables to design supplements with a gummy-like chew for cancer patients. Compared to the classic candy, these hold much more fiber and plant matter, which creates a jam-like consistency on the insides. Gelatin is a no-go because it’s not gluten-free or vegan—so, she gets creative with a variety of gelling agents to account for the acidity and calcium levels of her ingredients. Grapefruit, for example, has a low pH, so it pairs best with agar as opposed to pectin or starch.

While Vodovotz aims to preserve as many natural compounds as possible to give her products a nutritional kick, her snack-y counterparts only borrow a few to spin out their artificial flavors. But there’s potential for this treat to do more than satisfy a sugary craving. “While the industry is associated with indulgence, I think they’re starting to notice that there are possibilities to use gummies as a healthier vehicle,” Vodovotz says.

Triffler points out that Haribo is also tinkering with vegan and gluten-free options. These future candies will hopefully hit the same tender notes that Riegel once simmered up with a modern-day, diet-inclusive twist. And though people’s tastes might change over time, in the end, they’ll always want two things: a gummy they can really sink their teeth into and a departure from the ordinary senses.

[scootoaster]

The intense flavor science behind Haribo’s gummies

The Haribo Goldbear's century-old recipe has evolved over time. Today, a gummy in Germany might taste different than one in Singapore, Brazil, or the US. (Stan Horaczek/)

A hundred years ago, the first Haribo factory cranked up its confectionery machines on the banks of Germany’s Rhine River. Started by 27-year-old Hans Riegel, the business stayed modest and local—until the founder made a marvelous culinary discovery. The exact formula to his bear-shaped success remains a secret to this day, but it’s recipe includes gelatin, sugar, a copper kettle, a rolling pin, and the magic of thermodynamics.

Haribo Goldbear gummies are now one of the top-selling candies in the world, spawning dozens of copycats and filling hundreds of fingerprint-smudged waiting-room jars. The company has grown out of Riegel’s home city of Bonn with 16 factories across Europe, Asia, Australia, and South America. It’s slated to open its first US production facility in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, in September.

The company cooks up 100 million gummy bears a day—on top of numerous other mouth-puckering chews. It sells more than 1,000 varieties in Germany, home to its current-day headquarters, and launches fresh lines every season, like this summer’s limited Passport edition. “Because of the way we produce our candies, we can make a lot of flavors and profiles with agility,” says Lauren Triffler, head of corporate communications of Haribo of America. US gummy fanatics can only choose from a modest 19 options at the moment. The sheer scale of the company makes it a powerhouse for profit, but it also lets it redefine how the candy industry creates certain fruit flavors, says Yael Vodovotz, a food-innovation scientist at Ohio State University. “They follow the trends and make the choices that change tastes.”

Anointing a new flavor to the Haribo lineup, however, takes some confection-making perfection. The company’s food scientists test each recipe exhaustively for aroma, texture, and regional preferences. The last step is key to ensuring a gummy will succeed across multiple markets. For example, Triffler says, Americans and Germans don’t always agree on what a “lemon” candy should taste like, making it tricky to develop a single yellow piece for a mix that suits everyone’s tongues. The company even had to change up Riegel’s famous recipe when introducing Goldbears stateside in the 1980s.

The company recently released a centennial Passport edition that samples from international varieties. It includes Goldbears, Starmix, Matador, Tagada, and Rotella. (Stan Horaczek/)

In general, customers in the US and Latin America have more of a sweet tooth than snackers in Japan and Western Europe. But in the past decade or so, Triffler says American candy lovers have shifted to the sour side. “The kids really like the Zing bites and streamers and the Twin Snakes, which is the second best-selling flavor after the bears. You see that change in generations.” Even in the tart profiles, no two gummy recipes are the same. Some candies are covered in crunchy sugar crystals, while others layer distinct textures like marshmallow and gelatin. “There’s always entertainment value in the chew,” Triffler adds.

Experiments aside (the company won’t admit it, but the berry-blue Smurfs are an experiment that just happened to be a convenience store hit), there’s still a lot to learn about the chemistry of gummies. “A firm chew with a burst of flavor and plenty of servings in one bag” is what keeps Haribo customers coming back for more, Triffler says. Oddly enough, a favorite flavor doesn’t need to match up with its real-life fruity counterpart. The strawberry Goldbear is actually a bright lime color, but nobody seems to mind as long as the taste is consistent from bite to bite.

Beyond that, Haribo is quite tight-lipped about what makes their gummies such a culinary delight. But outside of the candy industry, food scientists are upfront about the challenges of crafting gummies. “Most gummy confections contain 5 to 10 percent fruit juice and the rest is sugar water,” Vodovotz says. “There are non-synthetic flavors and dyes, but they’re really still mostly chemicals.”

She switches up the traditional formula and uses freeze-dried fruits and powdered vegetables to design supplements with a gummy-like chew for cancer patients. Compared to the classic candy, these hold much more fiber and plant matter, which creates a jam-like consistency on the insides. Gelatin is a no-go because it’s not gluten-free or vegan—so, she gets creative with a variety of gelling agents to account for the acidity and calcium levels of her ingredients. Grapefruit, for example, has a low pH, so it pairs best with agar as opposed to pectin or starch.

While Vodovotz aims to preserve as many natural compounds as possible to give her products a nutritional kick, her snack-y counterparts only borrow a few to spin out their artificial flavors. But there’s potential for this treat to do more than satisfy a sugary craving. “While the industry is associated with indulgence, I think they’re starting to notice that there are possibilities to use gummies as a healthier vehicle,” Vodovotz says.

Triffler points out that Haribo is also tinkering with vegan and gluten-free options. These future candies will hopefully hit the same tender notes that Riegel once simmered up with a modern-day, diet-inclusive twist. And though people’s tastes might change over time, in the end, they’ll always want two things: a gummy they can really sink their teeth into and a departure from the ordinary senses.