kristablogs

[kristablogs]

Whistleblower Claims U.S. Concealing ‘Multi-Decade’ UFO Program

Three military veterans testified before Congress claiming that the U.S. government is concealing a longstanding program that reverse engineers alien aircraft and has recovered non-human “biologics” from alleged crash sites. What do you think?

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New Charges Suggest Trump Asked Mar-A-Lago Employee To Tape Over Security Footage With Rerun Of ‘Hong Kong Phooey’

MIAMI—According to sources familiar with the case, new charges filed Thursday in the federal indictment against Donald Trump suggested that the former president instructed a Mar-a-Lago employee to tape over security footage with a rerun of Hong Kong Phooey. “Despite being more than aware that doing so would obstruct…

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Shohei Ohtani Announces Plans To Leave Angels For Team In MLB

LOS ANGELES—After months of speculation over his playing future, baseball phenom Shohei Ohtani announced Friday his plans to leave the Los Angeles Angels for a team in Major League Baseball. “It’s been an honor playing for the Angels, and I’ll be sad to leave, but like many great foreign players before me, I want to…

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Norman Rockwell Museum Returns Looted Paintings To Africa

STOCKBRIDGE, MA—Acknowledging the need to right historical wrongs, curators at the Norman Rockwell Museum announced Friday that they were returning dozens of looted paintings to Africa. “These artworks belong to the West African peoples they were taken from, and we have no right as a Western museum to continue to…

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Rhino Clearly Got Lip Filler Between Seasons Of Nature Docuseries

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Woman Will Always Remember Deceased Grandmother As Person Whose House Family Had To Visit Sometimes

BATTLE CREEK, MI—Vowing to never let her memory fade, local woman Victoria Caruso told reporters Friday that she would always remember her deceased grandmother as the person whose house her family had to visit sometimes. “Ever since I was a kid, my grandma was someone who had a house approximately 40 minutes away from…

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Zealous American Patriot Draws Line At Women Playing Soccer

VALDOSTA, GA—Explaining that even his deeply ingrained support for his country had its limits, zealous American patriot Gabriel Bartlett told reporters this week that he drew the line at women playing soccer. “I don’t care that they represent America—I’m not watching that shit,” said the financial advisor and diehard…

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Congress Allocates $55 Billion In Infrastructure Funding To Fill Holes Angry Boyfriend Punched In Nation

WASHINGTON—Recognizing the need for funds to repair numerous damages after a night of drinking, Congress passed a $55 billion infrastructure bill Friday to fill the holes their angry boyfriend punched in the nation. “We’re enacting this legislation to patch up the thousands of miles of roads and bridges our boyfriend…

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Greyhound Announces Successful Bus Voyage To View The Titanic

DALLAS—A milestone in private deep-sea travel was reportedly reached Friday when Greyhound Lines announced the completion of a successful bus voyage to view the wreck of the Titanic. “We’re pleased to share that Greyhound passengers were treated to the rare sight of the wreck of the Titanic some 12,500 feet down on…

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Zion Williamson Confident He Can Be In Basketball Shape By Late 30s

NEW ORLEANS—Responding to ongoing concerns from fans as well as the New Orleans Pelicans organization about his physical conditioning in a career thus far marred by injuries, power forward Zion Williamson expressed his confidence to reporters Friday that he could be in basketball shape by his late 30s. “I just need…

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Things To Never Say To A Fan Of Ben Shapiro

A conservative commentator and columnist, Ben Shapiro co-founded the Daily Wire website and is host of the podcast The Ben Shapiro Show. If you know someone who is a fan of Ben Shapiro, here are things you should never say.

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This Week's Most Viral News: July 28, 2023

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Real Estate Roundup

Take a closer look at all these gems still available to the right buyer!

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Staffer Waiting For Car Temporarily Leans Frozen Mitch McConnell Against Nearby Fire Hydrant

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DeSantis Involved In Car Crash In Tennessee

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) was involved in a multi-car accident on Tuesday in Tennessee as he traveled in a motorcade to a campaign stop for his 2024 presidential bid. He was uninjured. What do you think?

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House Panel Didn’t Expect UFO Whistleblower To Just Dump Alien On Table Like That

WASHINGTON—Shocked by the former intelligence official’s sensational testimony, members of the House Oversight Committee told reporters Thursday they were not expecting UFO whistleblower David Grusch to just dump an alien on the table like that. “He didn’t warn us or anything—he just said, ‘You want to see some crazy…

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Elderly Senators Amused To Discover Their Strokes Syncing Up

WASHINGTON—Discovering the phenomenon as they all received emergency medical attention at the same time, several elderly senators reportedly found it amusing Thursday that their strokes seemed to be syncing up. “I’ve heard of this happening, but I honestly thought it was a myth,” a distant, glassy-eyed Mitch McConnell…

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