#Speak english yaknow

[4thenookie]

Hi hi i heard you wanted some headcanons!! As always this is /lh, not meant to be taken that seriously, agree to disagree, yada yada all that good jazz lmao. Most of them are pretty crack-y in nature as well, they're just meant for fun lol. And with that, I'll compile my miles long headcanon list into (mostly) sorted by character for everyone's convenience lmao

- starting off strong with trans EJ! Idk why but do headcanons really need a reason? (I do know why) (i like to make my blorbos suffer 💖) (and also [diverges your neuros] [transes your genders] [homos your sexuals]). Also biromantic asexual king

- more EJ because he's THE blorbo. Boy is british asf and he knows BSL and is learning ASL. Touch averse as well. I feel like EJ would actually be a decent if not great cook.

- EJ purring like a cat when he's content/happy? I think yes! Also has a tail with one of those tail tuft thingies? Kinda like lions if you know what i mean. And the pointy ears (peak character design yaknow)

- moving on. I feel like Jeff knows how to play an instrument. Probably electric guitar. He also has like a bajillion band t-shirts. Jeff also likes to take long, hot showers but hates to comb his hair lol

- while Brian cooks food so bad/raw it could as well just still be alive, Toby is either a great cook or a disaster in the kitchen with seemingly no indicator for which one it's going to be on any given day. I'm talking managing to burn a pot of water one day and cooking a michelen star worthy meal the next.

- Kagekao is actually fluent in English and speaks and understands it perfectly, he just refuses to speak it. He takes great amusement in watching other people lose their minds over this

- speaking of languages, i feel like Toby would be bilingual if not multilingual. He speaks English and German, maybe even Spanish if we're going the multilingual route

- also. Oh my god. The generational difference between BEN "memelord who quotes vines like there's no tomorrow" Drowned and Slenderman is just. I cant stop laughing thinking about it. Any given conversation between these two is just a gamble on who is going to lose it first

- BRVR is kinds Lost Silver's pet but also not really? Like he just kinda goes wherever but Lost Silver mainly takes care of him

- LJ he/it truther

- Me and a friend came up with this which probably explains why it is cracky as fuck but hear me out. Jeff as a makeup artist. He made Slender look like Beyonce once. No one knows how he did it and how he's not dead (the answer, as my friend said, is "no one can hate Beyonce")

- i feel like Toby, BEN, and Jeff would be like. The chaos trio. God knows what will happen when you put the three of then alone in a room together

- i also feel like Brian sunburns really easily.

- Tim is one of those dads that wants to leave in the middle of the night for road trips / holidays to avoid the traffic jams

Hope this makes even a bit of sense and i hope you enjoyed whatever my brain spewed at me lol if u ever wanna share more headcanons or talk about blorbos or share character slander (looking at Brian and LJ (affectionate)) feel free to dm me!! (I dont mind i promise lol /lh)

hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg these are so so so real thank you for sharing them with me!!!! ill go into some more detail under the cut :)

to be honest, i can kinda see trans ej being real now that you mention it, ill definitely think about that a lot!! and i also hc him as asexual!!!! :)

im british and i claim ej as one of us lmaooo

i absolutely agree w the purring thing!!! i think ej does a lot of cat things idk :)))) i love all of your ej headcanons!!!

tbh i can see jeff either playing electric guitar like you said or maybe drums?? just any instrument he can go ham on when hes mad lmao

in my hc he has the worst case of chronic greasy hair and he doesnt want to do anything about it

cooking hcs are so real brian can NOT cook!!!!!!! toby will either serve you some 5 star gourmet shit or some rotten takeout he found during a dumpster dive

omg omg omg I hardly see anybody talk about kagekao!!!!!! i totally agree he would do that lmaooo

idk if its canon or not but i read somewhere that tobys German so i totally agree that hed be bilingual!!!

oh my god BEN whos native language is memes meets grandpa slendy that would be so funny

in 4 words youve converted me into a fellow he/it LJ truther!!!! could we consider he/it ej too? maybe??

ik you said it was a cracky hc but i can actually kinda see jeff being good at makeup??? like one of those things where he tries it once and it's the most drop dead gorgeous makeup look you've EVER seen and everyones like how did you do that

toby BEN and jeff are an absolute riot when rheyre together lmao

omg i never thought about it but brian sunburning super easy is so real!! and in summer he always wears sunglasses so he has like an unburnt patch on his face where his sunglasses were yk??

OMG YES LMAOOOOO "guys get up our flights in 10 hours WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he would 100% have a checklist or 3

thank you so much for sharing these with me!! i hope you dont mind me adding my own thoughts lol but theyre so much fun to think about!!!! if you ever wanna slander lj and brian with someone feel free to dm me lmao!!!!!! take care <33333

[hyperfixation-symposium]

your doc with the tldr of day 63+ has been so helpful to me as someone who is a Phil main and occasional Bad lurker, i know itd be hellish amounts of work but me and several friends in my discord would be forever grateful if you kept updating it :'D thanks for making it

Heyhey I'm so glad it was helpful!

In all honestly it's just a lot of work for me to upkeep and I don't really wanna burn myself out. If I continued work on the document I'd want some help moving forward, yaknow? The update accounts have multiple people, and I feel like I can't properly represent the non-english speaking communities myself.

Plus the notes I used have been summaries I wrote to a friend and since finishing the document I haven't wrote up anything to that friend RIP (I get a few days off. As a treat)

Truthfully, I'd love to run a project to recap the QSMP day by day in an acsessible format, because even watching the hour long videos can be difficult. But that's a lot for me, and I'm not exactly a popular creator in any sense LMAO I'm a nobody, so I don't know the reach that anything I create would have.

tldr: I may continue to update it but I don't want to dedicate myself to a project like this, especially since I don't feel like even the current recap is a solid representation for the non-english communities and lore.

[icharchivist]

Something I also noticed while rereading and you is that Siete pretty much named Uno

"Let's go by the numbers of the Revenant weapons. In that case, I'm Siete. Nice to meet you, Uno"

Considering they're the only two whose names arguably come from the same language, I now HC that Siete comes from a corner of the sky where they speak Spanish or Italian

Though that also opens the possibility that everyone on that island where Feendrache, Wales etc are located actually speaks German, since most of their skill names are in German. I know they're technically based on Camelot, but it we want to get really technical, isn't English based on the language of the Anglo-Saxons and as such shares some roots with German?

But also it's just fun to HC these things

Aww yeah this is cute!!

Another possibility is that Siete went with spanish at first and wanted to establish spanish for everyone, but then whoever he recruited next went "that's stupid, i want another language" and he had to roll with it.

though him coming from an island where he speaks Spanish isn't impossible; Lobelia is out there speaking frencha fter all, so might as well.

and yeah good point on the knights. There's the germanic roots and it's why, but also because a lot of Granblue's inspirations for the knights' stories come from german sources particularly. I went digging on something regarding Percival a while ago and realized that the particular take Granblue has on Percival is based on the German's rewrites of the legend. (Percival's sword is named after Percival's son, but it's a name that only came up in this version of the legend). So yeah it's based on old great britain, but ultimately the inspiration for the name comes from which sources they took it from imo.

but then you end up making the Hcs you want and i think it's fun and all to think Feendrache of Wales have german language type.

after all we call it german, spanish or french, but Granblue doesn't have a Germany, Spain, or France. Like is it German or is it Feendrachian yaknow?

so after that it's just free game for you depending on how you want to roll with it yaknow?

[pandaxusio]

Its okay if you feel insecure, but trust me, your art dont have nothing to be jealous about mine, im pretty sure everyone agrees

:D ❤️🥞hotcaik for yu

Your manga style is just- WOW its beautiful!! Im so jealous❤️ you talented being I love you

[Sorry, i just saw it] Well...first, it's not THAT beautiful, I mean your style make me feel comfortable, it's gentle and cute, your coloring is soft, I'm not good at coloring, because before posting i draw only graftech. Your arts are beautiful and I'm pretty sure everyone will agree....um...i-i mean t-thank you, I love you too...

( =///=),❤

[onsunnyside]

tarzan!steve is obviously not super vocal in bed because, yaknow, English. But I swear that mother fucker whines and preens without shame under quiet praises and soft touches, blue doe eyes just gazing up at reader, pupils blown so wide and tears collecting on his lower lash line because god he just wants to touch you and grip you with all his might, burying his face in your neck and hair to inhale your scent but he’s never done this before, he doesn’t know these feelings but by god he trusts you. He trusts you in a way that’s invigorating, making his heart beat so fast he can hear it in his skull.

And when you’re finally intimate? I definitely think he growls 🤷‍♀️

༻ his mind, body and soul

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Tarzan!Steve Rogers x doctor!reader

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | SMUT - minors DNI, handjob, thigh riding, dirty talk only from reader, praise kink (?), lots of cum, cum eating, sub!steve vibes

𝗪/𝗖 | 953

𝗔/𝗡 | um, how do you expect me to enhance from this art?? I will try, but dear goodness, this ask has been on my mind for days. Feel free to send blurb requests or asks about this series!

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐀 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

A strangled groan bounces off the walls, the wooden logs doing little to mute the obscene sounds pouring from Steve’s mouth.

His neck is stretched back, glazed over eyes as his chest rises and falls with each pant. His grip tightens on your wrist, hips thrusting up to meet each of your movements.

“Feels good?” You rock down on his thigh, the muscles under his bare skin rubbing your clit just right. You gasp when a bead of cum shoots out, dribbling down your hand. Spreading it around his girth to make the slide more smooth, you can’t help but circle the tip with your finger before sucking on it. “Mhm, you taste so good, Steve.”

The giant whines, unabashedly drooling as you pump him faster, twisting your wrist. His words are incoherent at best, but truthfully, they’re just sounds. Whimpers, cries, and choked syllables.

Your hips continue slowly, just leisure grinds on his tense thigh. Your wetness soaks his skin, marking him with your essence. You haven’t even come yet, your own release is far from your first priority with Steve looking this beautiful before you.

The blond groans when one of your hands fondles his balls, you shush him softly. “You’re so good, Steve. Are you going to cum for me again?”

He preens like an angel, a rugged angel who’s over six feet. His blond locks are stuck to his sweaty forehead, muscular chest heaving with each sharp inhale, flushed cherry cheeks glowing under his thick beard.

All of this, just from your hands.

Your hands are slick with his last load, a lot of cum, it’s more than usual since you teased him for a while before pushing him down and straddling his thigh.

His blue eyes fall onto your body, and he’s mesmerized with each roll of your hips. Your soft sighs only make him harder, his cock throbbing, aching dulling as your fingers barely meet around his girth.

He wants you closer, he wants to be so close you can’t tell where one of you ends and the other begins.

At this moment, he trusts you more than he trusts himself. His senses overpowered by you, he wouldn’t hear the roar of an animal if it were next to him.

He’s overwhelmed, feeling like his heart will shatter his ribs. Delicate tears pooling in his lash line, a want—a need to have you ingrained into his mind, body and soul. He can hear the blood rushing through his ears, and he hates it because he can’t focus on your noises.

“Tell—Ah! Tell me, Steve, are you gonna get me all messy? Do you want me covered in you?”

Steve surges forward, pulling you flush against him as he nods into your hair. Breath fanning across your skin. He can’t even speak, but his low grunts fuel you on further. His sweaty muscles keep you close, one hand dropping to your ass as he aids your slow grinds.

His lips trail down your face to the warm crook of your neck, sprinkling kisses and muffling his moans. He’s heavy in your hand, still leaking messily.

“You’re doing so good—fuck, feel so good.” Your hips stutter, thighs quivering as a heat builds in your belly.

Steve wants to speak, to say anything, but he can’t. The walls of brain coloured with pictures of you, his skin prickling with the feeling of you—he can’t take it anymore.

A deep groan is pushed from his chest, so guttural that you can feel it against your breasts. His cock tenses in your grip, cum shooting out and between your bodies, sending you over the edge.

You force your eyes open, hips desperately grinding on his flexed thigh as you watch him. Thick brows furrowed, mouth dropped open and eyes squeezed shut, thick lashes brushing his cheekbones. Your heated gaze flickers to his thickness, he’s hot in your hand, prominent veins tracing up to red tip—still spilling out his load, covering both of your skin.

You’re almost shameful when you glance down at yourself, strings of your creamy arousal connecting your cunt to his thigh, coating the powerful muscles.

“You did so good, Steve.” You breathe out, pussy tingling between your thighs.

Slowly bringing your hand to your mouth, waiting until those baby blues flutter open to suck on your digits. Humming at the taste of his seed, you clean his mess from your hand, tongue swirling between each finger and down your wrist where some of his cum had dripped.

Just for fun, you smear some on your lips. You look back down at his cock, lying half-hard against his stomach. Collecting some more of his seed, you repeat your previous actions. “Mhm, you taste so good, Steve. Are you gonna give me one more?”

Possibly more than one since he just looked so good when he came.

He clenches his jaw, an uneven gasp escaping from behind his teeth. A single nod, before he pulls you by the back of your head and your lips meet. An otherwise filthy exchange, but compared to what just happened, it was tamed.

His tongue slips into your mouth, massaging yours. Steve groans as he tastes himself, his length hardening once again as your mouths move against each other. You deepen the kiss as your hand drags down his sweaty chest until reaching his cock, covered in his own cum. As to not startle him, your fingers gently trace the head, slowly spreading the dribbles of his load.

You fear you might destroy him today, and you’d feel terrible if he didn’t want it too. But he did, and right now, it felt like the two of you had all the time in the world.

𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: um this is my first time writing smut where the male isn't super dominant 👁👁

follow my sideblog and turn on the notifications so you can see whenever I post: @onsunnyside-fics in case if I discontinue my taglist

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠.

[lostonehero]

Under the full moon

Tw mentions of sexual assault and abuse, hospitals, animal attack

Nanu was a life saver, he managed to pull some strings and get Cyrus to Alohla without any suspicion or even his sisters finding out. Guzma was practically walking on air when he arrived back in Alohla, Cyrus in tow looking uncomfortable in the heat even though it was cooler as the night sky lit up the sky as the full moon hung up above.

Guzma watched Cyrus stare up at the starry sky, he could see the smaller trying to suppress a smile of wonder as he looked.

Cyrus was still distracted as a growl was heard from the bush and a large lyconrock jumped the two biting Cyrus's arm with a loud sickening crunch.

The next few hours were a blur to both Cyrus and Guzma, but what was clear was the end where Guzma's large frame was contorted awkwardly in a small hospital chair as he fell into an uneasy sleep watching over Cyrus. Cyrus woke up to the sounds of hospital equipment he knew all too well from being a sickly child growing up. He wanted to bolt out of bed, but he looked over and saw Guzma and he couldn't bare to abandon him.

He groans covering his face with his one good hand the other was bandaged to hell and back to the point where he couldn't move it. Feelings were not something he was equipped to deal with and Guzma brought up so many, and he wanted to spill his guts be open with him, but he wasn't as strong as he was. He could never be as great as Guzma needed him to be. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat and wiped his eyes. He just wanted Guzma close thats it.

......

Plumeria was one of the three now that knew of Guzma's secret, the man was half siren. She didn't know the specifics but she did know that his mother that raised him wasn't the one who had him. That wasn't important what was important was how frustrated she was getting with Guzma what she could only call nesting, his new sinnoh friend was coming back from the hospital. Guzma insisted that they were just friends but she wasn't an idiot and could feel the tension between the two hell she could probably cut it with a knife, even there pokemon notice it.

She sighed watching Guzma again rearrange his bed again, and yet he refuses to admit that they would even share a room. "GUZMA." She shouts annoyed as all hell.

Guzma stiffens and shoots up. "Plumes you know better then to sneak up on me sides I haven't done anything wrong."

"That's not the point everyone in this house can hear you moving your furniture for the nth time today Guzma."

"So nobody but you has complained."

Plumeria gave an auditable sigh. "Guzma you know none of the grunts would ever bother you when you're in one of your moods."

"I'm not upset Plumes "

"They don't know that."

Guzma looks away somewhat embarrassed. "Shit yo didn't mean to "

~~~later that day at the hospital~~

Cyrus moves his now freed arm from the cast, he had never healed this fast before. His arm didn't hurt he just had a pink mark left on his arm from the bite. It was kind of odd, maybe it was a side effect from the distortion world, but in reality he didn't know. He cuts off his own thoughts spotting Guzma and he swore his heart skipped a beat when there eyes locked, he decided to push thoes feelings down. He would deal with that later even if his heart was still beating out of his chest when Guzma approached close enough he could smell the scent of moss, honey, and even the sea off of him.

Wait

Cyrus didn't have a good sense of smell to beginning with, he used his sense of time to cook to perfection. As a child due to his sicknesses his sense of smell was partially damaged. Alarm bells rung loud in his head but were went silent when Guzma pulled him into a hug and all the panic dissipated from his head like the clouds after a storm.

"Cy look at you all patched up you had me all worried." Guzma was loud as always but it was comforting.

"You seem perfectly content without me." Cyrus bristles at the praise as his entire being screams at him to lean into it. He was scared of seeming soft.

"Ah I'm glad a hospital visit hasn't changed you I set up my room nice for you till you can find a place in po town, I mean if you want to stay there you don't have to if you don't wanna."

That was the last thing Cyrus could ever want to be away from Guzma. "Your room will suffice for now." He answers a bit too quickly for his own liking. He probably sounded needed but that thought had no room to grow when he heard Guzma chirp and grin.

"Your boy made it so comfy for you spaceman you're going to love it."

Cyrus covers his face quickly he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his lips. Something was different and he couldn't understand why his emotions were so easy to keep under wraps maybe the pokemon bite had side effects.

.......

Guzma loves the fact Cyrus decided to stay in his room, and he loved the nest he made too, fuck he never knew embracing the siren half of himself would actually feel good. Maybe it was because he had the right partner. He quickly shook his head Cyrus wasn't into him like that, and he knew not to force anything onto the smaller man. Cyrus's half sister had done that, well more so used him as some sort of plaything and he let her.

He couldn't let anyone use him like that again, he couldn't let anyone have control over him again like his siren half begged. He wanted Cyrus to control the bedroom he wanted Cyrus to make the decisions when it came to his body like she forced herself into that role. Guzma groans turning over to look at Cyrus sleeping. He wasn't weezing so the wet air was helping his lungs hopefully.

Guzma stared at his sleeping form his heart twisted and raw wanting to love again, but his mind was already hurt too many times, but what screamed louded then both was his siren instincts that refused to be silenced anymore and insisted that he let Cyrus claim him. He was getting a headache, and angry at his conflicted feelings, and he knew when he got upset he broke things and he really didn't want to wake up Cyrus.

He sat up pulling at his hair his feelings only growing more complicated as he let them fester. He wanted to punch something but he heard a soft whimper come from his sleeping companion and all his thoughts seem to bend into one cohesive thought. He needed to comfort Cyrus.

He wrapped himself around the smaller man who seems to melt in his touch and all the worry and pain drains into bliss as he falls back into a deep sleep.

A small sense of pride seems to grow in Guzma chest as he drifted off listening to Cyrus sleep softly next to him.

.....

..

Cyrus's temper was like a fire cracker even his pokemon noticed and ran to Guzma when he showed slight frustration. His houndoom however kept his attention for some reason Cyrus was now content chasing after his dog pokemon and she was happy to comply. She obviously knew something changed within him, but atlas he could not understand her.

"The humid air seems to really help you Cyrus." Guzma hums in the small pond behind Po town his gosilepod was splashing around with him. Cyrus wouldn't call it a pond it was more of a micro lake it was deep enough that Guzma could dive down to explore the many caves it hid below.

Cyrus pauses letting that comment sink in. Guzma was right he hasn't had any lung issues since arriving to Alohla. He was even running around like he had the energy of a child. "I concede that I have been feeling much better here then I have sinnoh, but it is much too hot here."

Guzma rolls his eyes and splashes Cyrus with his tail. "Cooled off enough?"

Cyrus against his normal facade and how he liked to act he scoffs and croches near the water and splashes Guzma back and even laughs.

His own pokemon froze hearing that noise and seeing Cyrus smile was an enigma in itself.

Guzma challenged this and splashed again causing an all out water fight, and Cyrus couldn't remeber any other time where he felt this happy. He felt safe as Guzma carried him back into the Shady House. He knew this wasn't normal behavior for him but Guzma was carrying him and his smile was so nice. He clung to Guzma like he was the best treasure he had ever found.

.....

Cyrus could not get comfortable for the life of him, his own skin felt too tight, and wrong. He felt miserable and just needed something. He flips over again in the mock nest Guzma made he had pushed the larger man out an hour ago.

"Cyrus?"

Cyrus groans and glares at Guzma from the position he was in on the bed.

"Good your awake I need to talk to you."

Cyrus stretches and sits up. "Its not as my body will let me get comfortable go ahead." He says with more bite then he wanted to.

Guzma seems to hesitate and Cyrus doesn't want to be alone right now, why did he sound annoyed, but Guzma didn't leave he took a breath and sat in his throne. "Do you mind if I get personal Cyrus? I'm loosing my courage here, stupid Guzma."

"You're ok, please speak your mind." For some reason Guzma being there made him feel better and all he wanted was for him to be comfortable to, only to return the favor. That thought was tact on but he wouldn't acknowledge that fact.

Guzma's face turns red as he stumbles over his words forgetting English for a second. "Cyrus I want you to take control, I mean I just my siren half has been screaming at me for you and I fuck I fucking like you a lot and I want to be vulnerable around you. Not like how your sister forced that out of my with you I feel safe enough to let you see the real stuff." Guzma sighs putting his face in his hands. "I like you spaceman and I want you to yaknow do the nasty with me I want you to control the scene, I want you to take care of me."

Cyrus could feel his own face heat up his mind wasn't entirely there anymore but he somehow knew exactly what Guzma was asking and he wanted the same thing. His voice didn't sound like his own. "I love you too- I -gah" his own words cut off as a scream escapes from his lips as burning hot pain fills his his veins. His whole body felt as it was on fire and that was the last thing Cyrus can remember before it went black.

.....

Plumeria lead the charge hearing the scream come from Guzma's room a few brave grunts followed behind her as they opened the door they expected the worse, but that isnt what they got.

Guzma was laughing trying to pull a lyconrock that was five times bigger then normal off of him it was also completely blue like Cyrus's hair. The closest thing to an attack the dog was doing was locking Guzma senseless as there tail wagged hard and fast.

The grunts seem to braven up even more as one shouted puppy then the rest piled into the room petting the dog who seems to melt at the attetion and Guzma could finally get up but he didn't stop smiling.

"Cyrus is the puppy Grunts." Guzma got through his laughter as the dog Cyrus began another lick attack.

The grunts gasps as cheers of werewolf ran through along with spaceman is puppy space man, along with team skull mascot.

Guzma was having too much fun to notice or listen to what his grunts were saying.

.....

Cyrus woke up startled he was just in the worst pain in his life where was he now. His panic ebbed away into comfort as he realized he was curled around Guzma his scent was everywhere, and that purple tattoo was a dead giveaway. He absolutely no memory of what occurred last night nor did he know where his clothes went. Wait why was he wearing a collar did they have sex? Was he drugged? Guzma confessed his feelings did he use him?

Cyrus's own stomach growling made him stop his downward spiral of thoughts. He was starving, was that normal after sex? He needed to research. Guzma shift making Cyrus give a startled oof noise in response.

"Oh you're back to normal, the grunts were right." Guzma yawns and stretches. "Man you kept us up till like 4 in the morning."

This brought up more questions, so he didn't have sex, the grunts were involved, and he wasn't normal. His face must of betrayed him because Guzma was looking at him with concern.

"You don't remember last night."

"I remember saying I love you." He says embarrassed and his voice a bit horsed.

This seems to ease some worry from Guzma's face but not all of it. "Well apparently Z one of the grunts likes looking into myths and he can say for certain werewolf, and now the grunts know about me because you kind of dragged me into the pool to go swimming."

"What?"

"It was actually kind of cute, I got upset and you did the whole ears and tail down and puppy dog eyes and actually you were fuckkng adorable and I couldn't stay mad at you but now the grunts are clamoring to make a full moon schedule that needs your approval of course." Guzma laughs. "For the first hour you wouldn't stop licking me you also kept trying to steal my socks."

Cyrus's face was red as he put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry "

"Why it was a blast, and you make a great puppy Cy even if I'm a bug guy." Guzma chuckles. "Now we know it wasn't a normal pokemon bite."

Cyrus looks away. "You aren't mad? I outed you and I didn't even know until you told me."

"I mean no Cy you were being cute and now I have blackmail we took so many pictures. Want to see "

"Abostutley not." He gets up. "I'm going to get dressed then eat you can talk when you want to be civil "

Guzma laughs and gets up hugging Cyrus from behind. "I love you too Cyrus even if you can't express it well. I'll be emotional for the both of us."

This dried up every ounce of shame and anger Cyrus had at the new he could feel wet streaks down his cheeks before he realized he was crying. He immeditaly turned and buried his face into Guzma's chest. He refused to let go.

Guzma didn't realize what he said meant so much, but he didn't want to upset Cyrus anymore so he let the smaller man cry until he was done.

They got dressed in silence but left the room holding hands with a unspoken love between them only growing.

[sunshineseung]

Just to let you know info you didn't ask for lmao. Since I'm Mexican, well, obvious my Spanish is 1000/10, but for real, I have 0 idea if there are Spanish speaking STAYs that post content.

Btw, I love your content and I've come here to give you my descriptive, full written, 5-6 lines of horny thoughts like 10 times, I'm not joking AHAHAHA, but I didn't use an anon name back then so you won't know who I am.

Have a nice day! ~ LB anon

Ooo an old anon that now has a name haha nice. I wish there was more non English smut, even if it’s translated, but I know a lot of authors don’t allow their stuff to be translated. I just wanna be asked first and to know where it’s posted, and yaknow proper credit n stuff. I had one person ask to translate one of my works into Russian and I said yeah idk if anything came of that tho. I’d write something in Spanish if I could, but I don’t really know any ~sexual language~ in Spanish lol

[mind-of-a-hardstan]

i’m curious; what are some of your fav fics for each member? - comet ☄️

Ohhh I like doing stuff like this. Just a little warning though, most of ‘em are probably going to be some older fics because I sadly haven’t been reading as much as I would like to and another warning is this list is probably going to be very long. Let’s get to it then :D 

Kim Namjoon

Partners by @btssmutgalore is probably my ultimate all time favourite Namjoon fic on this site. I love the way the plot moves in a non-rushed way and I absolutely LOVE how the characters are written. Who doesn’t love a shy, nerdy Joonie bean? 

Five Months by @ellieljade is a fic that I’ve read when I’ve just started on this site and it just stuck with me for some reason. The smut was *chef’s kiss* and then you pair that with bits and pieces of slipped up emotion and clear affection and you have a perfect fucking fanfic. It’s a total 180 of Partners because this one features dom Joonie with a dirty mouth ;) 

Love Bytes by @stutterfly. Clumsy cute English professor Namjoonie silently pining while all of the other guys just won’t stop MEDDLING. Seriously I love how the relationship between Y/n and the boys were written and I love the interaction between Joon and Y/n even more. 

Kim Seokjin

Candlyland by @honeymoonjin. I read this one a few days ago and LET ME TELL YOU it was fucking phenomenal. The plotline was amazing, the story itself was so creative and unique and I love how there were subtle hints to what was going on and then the BIG REVEAL in the end where you just went “how did i miss that?” And the cute relationship between Jinnie and Y/n, clearly a devoted married couple. Not to mention cute lil elf-babie bean Koo. Probably my new fav Jin fic hands down. 

My Type by @floralseokjin. Listen, every Jin fic by her is top notch, but I think this one is my favourite because it was so soft but the smut was impeccable. It features nerdy, virgin Jinnie, which was something that I haven’t seen in a Jin fic before tbh? Very sweet and cute and a favourite since I read it. 

Min Yoongi

Upgrade by @gukgalore is the ultimate Yoongi smut fic. I mean it. 

Empress by @honeymoonjin. This fic was downright GENIUS. I’ve never seen the likes of it before and it left me wanting more, goddamnit. Empress Yoonji is a fucking experience and I’m 110% sure y/n thought the same. 

Jung Hoseok 

In The Car by @floralseokjin​ is another masterpiece. Mechanic Hoseok is a fucking concept. Mechanic Hoseok who also races and is funny and HAS A MANBUN I REPEAT HE HAS A MANBUN. Yeah needless to say this fic had me on the floor. Bonus: they fuck on the hood of his car  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Park Jimin 

Sin City by @btssmutgalore should be read. By every single person. On this site. I fucking MEAN IT. 

Kim Taehyung 

Nude by @btssmutgalore was just really really cute and still smutty. I like the whole internal conflict going on and how it slowly progresses from “I done fucked up” to “eh, screw it I deserve to be happy” yaknow? 

How to Get a Girl Off 101 by @imagination-of-a-melted-bitch was a fic I read before my writing blog even existed and screw it i still love it. It features y/n and her bf Taehyung who agrees to teach clueless Jeongguk how to fuck, honestly I low key love this concept. 

Jeon Jeongguk 

For Science by @boymeetsweevil​ was… quite the fucking experience let me tell you. I binged it in a day and then reread it the next day because I felt like I needed more. It was a shitstorm of pining, hot smut, angst and just Kook being generally bad at feelings. It features the whole gang being nerdy, weird and generally funny. A fantastic read, honestly. 

Switch Lanes by @gukgalore​ was the fic that lead me to her account in the first place. I’m a sucker for healthy relationships being built on trust and friendships and then lead to lots o’ fluff and soft smut so if you are a sucker for that too then feast. 

Monster by @btssmutgalore​ was also something I started reading before my writing account even existed and I’m still foaming at the mouth over it. Seriously Dee just has a certain way of stringing words together in a way that leaves you having to physically restrain yourself from reading for 3 days straight. (I speak from experience, I’m pretty sure my mom thought I was dead when I discovered her masterlist). Monster is no exception. 

I’m going to be a bit cocky and put one of my own fics here too, because it’s my favourite fic that I’ve written and I’m very proud of it, so don’t judge me. Purple Mist & Candlelight is a Joonie witch au that features potion maker Joonie and a subtly pining y/n. I think it’s pretty good. 

Now, I also read fics on AO3 that are mostly shipfics, and I’ll be adding them too because leaving them out would be a crime because they’re some of my favourites, so here goes: 

Heard Them Talk by themarmalade is a fucking masterpiece. It features marten hybrid Joonie and bad boy, rugby player Jeongguk who is actually just a sof boi with a bunny daemon. I cannot even begin to explain the absolute adoration that I have for this fic. Dare I even say it is my ultimate favourite? (namkook)

Got a kiss (with your name on it) by marienadine is another favourite. Roommates Kookie and Tae are pining after each other and feelings come tumbling out when Kook asks Tae to teach him to kiss. The discriptions in this fanfic is impeccable and THIS is the level of writing I want to reach one day. It’s the perfect balance of funny and feelings and the way it’s written is what sets it apart from other fics. It’s truly a masterpiece. (taekook)

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter is a fic that I read the other day that features closeted bisexual Seokjinnie who doesn’t know how to deal with anything, bi, Yoongi who’s trying desperately to make a change, and somewhere along the lines they fall in love. It’s fluffy and angsty and I cried my heart out at some point. And then I cried my heart out at the end too. If you read this and you see the words “I heard you” in chapter 6, yeah that’s about where I fucking lost it and cried for like a year. (yoonjin)

Found you by Oh_Hey_Tae is a namjin witch au that just… it was so sweet? Joonie is a sad witch who finds lost things and Jinnie is a seer and it’s all just very sweet and sad a beautiful. (namjin)

Bunny Ears by goldenhearts was the CUTEST. Kookie drinks a faulty potion and spontaneously turns into a bunny every now and then. He has no choice but to go to his rival for help and most fluff I’ve ever read ensues. It’s the cutest, bestest, funniest fic I’ve read, Jinnie is unsufferable, Kookie even more so, and I loved every second of it. (jinkook)

Is It Me You’re Looking For? by MoonlitMemories was also such a good fic. I felt for Kook and I just wanted to hug him throughout the fic and Joonie is damn idiot but it’s sort of understandable and it was heart wrenching and perfect and beautiful and such a cute but sad twist on the usual soulmate au (namkook)

And I’m going to stop there because the post is getting too long. These are a few of my favourite things, most of ‘em are smut but not all. They’re all very good and written by amazing authors so enjoy!

[alexfeelyx]

Rules: Anwer 20 questions, tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better!

I was tagged by @tessa1972 (and I’m coming out of hibernation to do this... sometimes I need a little prodding 😅)

Tagging basically every friend and everyone I often see in my reblogs/likes, except those I’ve already tagged before: 

@s0manymainblogthings @novellafoscaris @mszegedy @unexciting-houseplant @inkformyblood @gilliandaye @lovingjerryhours @mountain-czernobog  @could-be-dangerous-sh @dierosenrot @gallivantcos @eisblume77 

Name: Alex

Nickname: Alex is a nickname already... AlexTea or LX800 also works

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 1.67m /  5′6″ (I’m a smol bean)

Languages: English and Hungarian, and enough German to read it but not to speak (I used to speak it fairly well but I’m out of practice)

Nationality: Hungarian

Favourite Season: Summer

Favourite Flower: Carnations

Favourite Scent: Ginger and vanilla

Favourite Colour: Black and navy

Favourite Animal: Rats and sparrows, please don’t make me choose! (Narrowing it down to two is hard enough...)

Favourite Fictional Character: Changes based on whatever I’m hyperfixating on at the moment. Currently: Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age Inquisition) and Loki is a perennial favourite

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: Tea

Average Hours of Sleep: Anywhere between 5 and 11, if they let me (they don’t)

Cat or Dog Person: Rat, bird and snake person. (I’m sorry! Dogs and cats are cute but not really my thing!)

Number of Blankets you sleep with: Currently like 3, but they aren’t necessarily... covering me in any way (man I should make the bed every once in a while...)

Dream Trip: Everywhere I have friends (Austria, Germany, the Netherlands, the UK, the US) plus Disneyland (I don’t wanna give the Mouse any of my money, so that’s probably never gonna happen)

Blog Established: Sometime last year? It’s like my 5th time on this hellsite tho (been here since 2012)

Followers: Under 50 (don’t know, don’t care, I’m just here for a laff mate)

A Random Fact: One time in primary school a girl I called a stupid bitch stabbed me in the forehead with a fork. We both felt so bad about it the next day that we started crying and hugging each other when we met the next morning (she was waiting for me by the gate). We became very good friends from that moment on. The best thing about it? We both got off scot free cuz the headmistress saw that we truly regretted the whole thing. So yaknow, apparently I have interesting methods for making friends. 🤣

[kaquiche]

carlisle, aro, and laurent (edwardsvolvo)

what is your favorite study?

I absolutely love learning foreign languages. its so fascinating to me. I'm pretty much fluent in Spanish, and I'm also learning portuguese and norwegian (my native language is english). one language I never want to know is french 🤢 I hate french

what vampire gift would you love to have?

ooh I love this question. my first thought was to be able to understand/speak/read/write a language as soon as I hear it but honestly one of the main reasons why I would want to be a vampire/immortal is because I want to learn all the languages (except french) and I feel like that power would make it too easy yaknow? I read about this power in a fic (I can't remember what its called, if you know it please comment!) were bella was able to camouflage herself/blend in. basically she could make her skin feel warm and not so hard to humans, could mask her scent, etc. I'm not explaining it super well if yall know what I'm talking about pls comment lol

if you were a vampire would you have golden or red eyes?

I think I would have golden eyes most of the time, but every now and then I might indulge and eat a p*doph*le, r*pist, or rich person. as a treat

[minaland]

tell me everything about the dream, there has to a reason why you've been having dreams bout hobi right?

so part 1 of the dream took place in my bedroom of my parents' house. i was lying in bed with the gf and then for some reason hope walked in. i think he was wearing the outfit he wore for the chicken noodle soup mv. anyway he came right up to the bed and started talking to us in english. (when I dream about idols, they almost never speak english. it's usually nonverbal communication. so this was strange.) and he said that he's getting ready for early enlistment and i sat up and was like "WHAT? WHY?" and he said he didn't want to do it, but he wanted to get it out of the way. and then he made a little face and scratched his head and shrugged, and then i woke up Sad.

the second dream was weirder though. i was in a boarding house, and he had a room upstairs all by himself, and never joined the rest of us for dinner or anything. he was like a weird loner dude who was always in a bad mood so nobody ever spoke to him. but he did nice things around the house, like fix random stuff for people, change lightbulbs, stuff like that.

at one point i went out for some air, and was walking along this highway trying to get to the beach, and it was a little scary so I started sprinting. and then i saw a girl with mismatched shoes sitting on a bench next to a little bike so i stole the bike and rode it to the beach. only they were renovating the boardwalk so i couldn't ride it there anyway. and the tide was high so people were encouraged to stay away from the boardwalk altogether.

so i was like, alright, i'll return the bike and go home. so i got back to the girl on the bench who had been waiting for me, and she wasn't even mad i borrowed the bike, and I apologized once and complimented her shoes, telling her i used to wear mismatched converse when i was young, and she said it would look cool on me and i should do it again. so i thanked her and went back to the boarding house.

so when i got back, hoseok was on the front steps trying to access an attic/crawl space thing? and he was on the top step trying to pull the door down but he couldn't reach it and he was getting frustrated so i initially walked right past him bc he was kinda mean and i was feeling sorta blue yaknow? i wasn't in the mood to deal with his cranky ass.

but then he stopped me and asked if i could stand right there (he pointed) and help him by turning this little key as he pulled on the string of the door and i was like hell yeah and i stretched up with all my might to reach the key he was talking about because i was NOT walking away without accomplishing the mission after he specifically asked for my help. and we got it and he thanked me and i went inside and up to my room.

and then a few things happened that i can't remember, and i ended up in his room, standing in the doorway while he searched for something, and i was still kinda sad about the enlistment and the whole bike/boardwalk situation. and he was mad at me for something but i don't know what, and I was being pathetic and sad and apologizing to him and trying to make things right and he just started screaming at me, still in english, and it was kinda scary but also a little hot so like. idk. i'm small and weak and emotionally compromised and he was wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans and he looked nice yaknow and i sorta grabbed him and kissed him lmao. and then we ended up on his bed making out and then i woke up lmaooo it was wild

anyway i have no idea why he showed up last night and why he spoke english and was a jerk but............ i'm into it lmao

[tirfs-not-terfs]

'these filthy, uneducated Mexicans are invading and stealing our jobs!!1!!'

1) how important is your job, a white American, that someone who can't even speak your language, is able to acquire?

2) uneducated? most aren't, they are literally fleeing from terrible situations. also, maybe we could.. yaknow.. teach English and other subjects to the kids that are being detained?

feel free to respond/refute but respectfully please

[themothership-ideas]

5 food related YouTube channels that you should definitely subscribe to (NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER)

1. Cooking with Dog Feel like making Japanese cuisine? THIS CHANNEL IS GONNA GIVE YOU LIFE. Especially when it comes to pastries, I always check if this channel has a tutorial for it first before I check other channels. It's quite funny too, because the main host of the show is Francis, this really cute dog who speaks english. I got really good grades in high school from following their recipes for my Home Economics class. And when I discovered this channel there weren't any other Asian YouTube channels so I just really like staying loyal to them yaknow?

2. Tasty WHO HASN'T EXPERIENCED BEING SO ENTICED BY A TASTY VIDEO AND WHY ARE YOU A LIAR? They make quick easy videos, they make a lot of viral food video, and they have all sorts of content for different age brackets. And recently they even have specific videos that you can follow. I personally love the "Behind Tasty" and "Eating Your Feed". I don't know, maybe because its much more raw compared to ordinary Tasty videos (?) but it's really nice, and I really love Rie, she's so adorable.

3. Bon Appetit - GOURMET MAKES Yes I named a specific series because it's really the only kind of their videos that I watch. It's almost like watching Behind Tasty videos but much more interesting because you can differentiate how technical gourmet cooking can be---so, it's not only entertaining, it's also very educational for people who are very interested in cooking.

4. Stephanie Soo Recently I have been so into Mukbang videos and if you type in Mukbang on the YouTube search bar, her videos would be the first thing to appear in the results! Normally I don't like going to the super popular channels already if they're like, yknow a YouTube individual. Mostly because I like feeling like I found a special gem (lol) that not a lot of people has discovered yet. BUT I can see why people would love her videos! She tells amazing stories while doing her Mukbang. I haven't watched a video of her yet that got me bored. So I don't know, if you want to just have a chill time listening to a person tell stories and you like mukbangs, Stephanie is your girl.

5. Tastemade - Struggle Meals This series currently only has like, 5 episodes (or maybe they just haven’t updated the series playlist). But I think for people who are really trying to have nice food and save money at the same time... you can really apply things that you will learn from Frankie Celenza. You can just follow all of his recipes or even mix it up a little just follow the same principles. THIS GUY TEACHES YOU HOW TO MAKE CHEAP FOOD! WHY WOULD YOU NOT LIKE WATCHING THESE VIDEOS?

[soujun-arts]

Case 4 : Cupcake Madness

Reginald’s 4th Case ! English isn’t my first language so bear with me.

You can read the previous cases @ /~SilverBaron

Neovia, 15:30

I'm laying in my bed, staring at the roof of my room. I've been stuck in there for 3 long and boring days already and it doesn't look like it will be over anytime soon... My name is Reginald Acorn, I'm 20, a grey gelert and I'm currently fighting a cold. I'm a detective working for the police force of Neovia. Three days ago, the boss and I had to hide in front of the abandoned asylum to catch all sorts of thieves, including the most annoying one you can think of. And by the looks of it, thieves aren't the only things I caught that night ... But, the good news is, we were able to recover a stolen locket and give it back to Vincent Von Verzweiflung. The look on his face when he saw the "treasure" inside was well worth this nasty cold. I'm getting all emotional just by thinking of it !

It reminds me of how I miss Mama ... When I was young and sick, she would make me the most delicious of cocoa with some marshmallow floating in it. It was delicious and helped distract me from whatever sickness I was suffering under at that time...

A loud knock on my door makes me go back to reality. The doors opens to reveal an enormous darigan skeith, engulfed in tightly fitted trench-coat. A hat is deeply screwed on his head, letting only small tufts of grey hair around the sides of his head show.

_"Oh good, you're still alive kid !" he says, laughing loudly and slapping his stomach.

_"My wife made this soup for you. It's extra spicy but it should help free your stuffed nose." he grumbles as he lays down the bright red tureen on my table.

This tall and heavy Skeith is my boss, "Big Skeith". His name is actually Marcus Worsley but everyone calls him Big Skeith at the station so being the new guy, I just went with the flow. He's a bit rude, has a very loud mouth but I assure you that you could never hope for a better chief of police. He also kind of became a father figure for me since I've never met my own father... I respect him a whole lot ! _"Oh, almost forgot, I also got you this, kid." he says as he puts down a small green bottle on my night-stand. "Should help fight the cold, at least, that's what the pharmacist told me. And if it doesn't work, I can always arrest him!" Big cackles at his own joke like it was the funniest thing he ever said. I smile, not because of the joke, but because I'm genuinely happy he's there for me.

_"Okay, I must leave now, I have a job to do yaknow. I'll stop by later tomorrow to check on you kiddo, so sleep well and eat like there's no tomorrow. See ya !" he yells as he storms out of my flat. Big's appearances are always something.

I taste Big's wife's soup and it's absolutely delicious. No wonder he keeps on praising her cooking everyday ! I'll have to ask him to thank her for me, when he comes back to check on me. It really is spicy though, I thought, fighting the tears coming in my eyes. I glance at the medicine bottle ... I've always hated medicine and mama had to trick me with cookies every single time to get me to take them. The bottle is really pretty and the liquid is bubbling inside. The eagerness to go back to my cases is stronger than my disgust for medicines. I drink a spoonful of it and promptly go back to sleep.

Neovia, 7:15 am

I let out a big yawn and stretch while still laying in bed. The pharmacist kept his promises as I really feel fresh and ready to tackle whatever challenge comes my way ! The only weird thing is that I don't feel hungry at all, and if you know me, you know I always crave a huge breakfast. Thinking nothing more of it, I jump in the shower and let the warm water drench my fur. I wash my grey hair that is a bit sticky for some reason, plus it really needs a trim, they're getting way too long...

Once I've dried myself, I dress with my usual work attire and feel tremendous joy at the thought of finally being able to get back to work. I step outside and let the freezing air fill my lungs. Yes, to another awesome day of investigation !

Neovia, 8:00am

_"Oh hey kid, you're back !" shouts Big as I enter the police station. "Guess that potion and the soup worked well uh ?" _"Yes, they did ! Thank you for taking care of me boss ! And please thank your wife for me, she really is a talented cook !

_"Ahaha, I know, right !! Well, since you're up and ready, how about you join Lenny. He's going to investigate a theft and break-in at the Crumpet Monger.

_"Sure boss ! I'll be going !"

I've never had the occasion to work with Lenny before. Lenny is, well, a Lenny. He's a weird mix of faerie and grey colours and looks always completely depressed. Maybe it's the fact that he is bald that makes him so upset ? He's very nonchalant and walks as fast as snail. He also speaks in a monotonous voice and I always feel like sleeping when I hear him talk.

Neovia, 9:00am

Finally, I can see the Crumpet Monger ! The shop is actually only 20 mins away by foot from the station but Lenny being so slow, it almost took us a WHOLE hour to get there. And since I'm still the newbie, I can't say anything. The Crumpet Monger shop is relatively small but it sells the best baked goods in all Neovia ! A cupcake is drawn right over the porch roof, and just underneath, an elegant door that opens upon a world of delicious treats ! As we get closer, I can see that the door was fractured but the frontage is thankfully intact. Lenny pushes the door and a bell rings inside. We were standing in the entrance when a mountain of hair came rushing out of the kitchen like a storm. Underneath all that hair, a meerca.

_"Oh so yer finally here ! Thank goodness ! As yer can see, we were robbed last night. All ther cakes, scones, pies, tarts and everything in between, gone !" she shrieks, visibly upset.

_"I see." ponders Lenny, completely out of it. _"Did they steal anything else, like the cash register ?" I asked, ready to do my job.

_"Well, yer see, no they didn't. They only stole and ate whatever we had in there.

But ... shouldn't the shop be empty of pastries during the night since you make fresh ones everyday ?" I say, pointing at a small sign saying so by the counter.

_"Oh yer, we do ! In these kind of jobs, we work at lot at night. My main baker was working tonight, made a whole storm of pastries yer see to set the shop for ther morning. He then left for a short while to see our supplier as per usual yer see. It was during that short time ther shop was ransacked." she lets her arm fall flat on her sides. "We lost a lot of money tonight yer see...

_"I'm very sorry Mrs Crumpet. We will do our best to wrap up things quickly so you can re-open again. Would it be possible to talk with your main baker ?"  I glance at Lenny as I speak, hoping he would step in to take the reigns but he was busy dozing off with a bubble popping out of his beak. Charming.

_"Sure yer can darling ! Aaron please come yer !" she shouts.

Coming out of the kitchen, wiping his hands covered in flour on a towel, a young Maraquan Gelert. He's of average height, has a long and weird tail with a, what, fin on it ? He is purple and his hair, which kinda look like algae, is greenish. He wears a big cooking hat on his head and a fancy looking uniform with a star on it. Around his neck, a red neckerchief.

He holds out his hand and I shake it amicably, this guy seems to be really friendly.

_"Hello, name's Reginald Acorn and here's my colleague Lenny Dot. We're here to investigate and we'd like to hear what you have to say please.

_"Thanks for coming, both of you. My name is Aaron Watson, I'm the main baker here. I think you won't have much trouble finding the culprit.

Really ? How so ?" my ears rising up in surprise.

_"Look at this, they left their prints all over the display cases. Should be easy enough to find, no ?

I get closer to the case and indeed, Aaron was telling the truth, you could see distinct prints all over it. I glance at the few leftover cupcakes there, suddenly feeling hungry.

_"Hmm yes, this is all very importance evidence...

_"Hey Regie, I hope you're talking about the prints and not the cupcakes" cackles Lenny, suddenly awake.

_"Of course I am !" I yell angry he found me out. "Dust for the prints instead of dozing off, that'd be helpful" I say, still sulking.

Alright, alright, let the pro do his job baby." he shouts proudly while holding a weird pose, showing off.

_"I really hope you catch that thief, but in all those short years I've worked here, it's really the first time this happens.." adds Aaron, rubbing his chin with his hand, still in disbelief.

_"No offence here, but you seem really chill for someone who had all his hard work eaten without being paid for...

_"Oh, that's because he took out his anger on yer poor innocent dough sweetheart" giggles Mrs Crumpet.

_"Boss, please !"

_"Okay I'm done dusting the prints and taking pictures here" says Lenny, striking another weird pose. "We will have the results tomorrow or so, so you can get cleaning your fantastic shop my beautiful darling." he adds, kissing Mrs Crumpet hand in a what I assume was supposed to be a gentlemen like gesture.

_"Oh, Oh, my, my, what a charming gentleman you are Mr Dot !" says Mrs Crumpet, blushing.

_"Urhg, disgusting." whispers Aaron while laughing slightly. "Then, I'll get back to work, thank you for coming."

Neovia 13:30

I'm sitting at my desk, eating my sandwich. It took us forever to get back here, as Lenny took his sweet, sweet time. Sometimes I really wonder how come this guy still had a job considering how slow he is in everything he does, but Big told me that he's the best when it comes to little details and all the other stuff we tend to overlook. He's currently studying the prints we found and comparing them to the files we have. Whenever someone decides to move in Neovia, they're obligated to give their prints as well, I'm not really sure why, but I guess after being a cursed town for years, they prefer to use some caution. I had to do it too when I filed all the paperwork in the City Hall. I swallow the last bite of my meal when Lenny comes rushing out from the lab and sprint right into the boss's office. How weird it is to see someone as slow as a snail go as fast as a cybunny ... I guess he did find something. Not two minutes later, Big yells for me to come to his office right now. Why do I feel like I'm not gonna like this ?

_"Kid, we have a match for the prints you guys found." says Big, dropping the file on his desk. He turns around to face the window, turning his back to Lenny and I. "The culprit is a Gelert.

_"Oh, really ? Is it that annoyingly annoying jewel thief ? Though, I wonder why he would steal cupcakes..." I say, rubbing my cheek.

_"No, praise Fyora, this guy is innocent for once. Though, I wish it was him right about now...

Knowing how Big despises that thief, I feel the anxiety rushing through my body.

_"That thief never leaves any prints behind, that's why we have so much trouble identifying him... Reginald, don't you have anything you want to say to me ?" he says calmly, turning back to face me again.

_"No.. I don't understand, I haven't done anything wrong..

_"Kid, the prints are yours. Your prints are all over the display cases of the Crumpet Monger shop. Lenny even found some grey hairs that belong to you on the scene, hair that were covered in frosting. You are the cupcake thief." he looks at me, visibly disappointed.

_"But ... I haven't left my flat yesterday.." I cry, upset I could tarnish my reputation this way. "I ate the soup you brought me, took the medicine as well and went to bed. I swear I didn't do anything wrong..."  I state, still sobbing. Disappointing Big is one of the last things I want to do...

_"Look Kid, I know you, I know you're not a thief nor a liar. There has to be an explication, and we will find it." he says, putting his clawy hand on my shoulder. "Oh and wipe your nose, I don't want any snot on my desk!" he adds, smiling snarkily. "Let's go on a walk, I think you need some fresh hair. Thanks Lenny for your work, you can go back in the lab work on whatever you have left to do."

Neovia 14:00

_"Okay, let's go to the pharmacy and see what the guy has to say. I don't feel like you're lying like I said, but how come every evidence found incriminates you..." he grumbles as we walk in the main street.

_"I don't know, I'm really lost here... I don't remember a thing, but I do recall not feeling hungry this morning and my hair being sticky when I woke up." I follow him, looking at my shoes, still feeling shameful.

_"We're here." he says as he pushes the door open.

_"Oh hey it's you !" points a young Zafara with his head full of blond and spiky hair. "How is it doing man ?

_"I'm not your man, kid.

_"Yeah, yeah, what can I do for ya ?

_"I want "ya" to tell me more about this medicine I got from you yesterday. Are there any side effects I should have been told about when you gave it to me ?" asks Big, pushing his finger into the zafara's coat.

_"It was groovy eh man ?!" he says, still pointing his fingers at us. "I think I'm gonna slap some sense into this idiot, if you know what I mean." whispers Big in my ear.

Oh, Oh...

_"Stop being such a moron Arnold !" yells a middle-aged Kacheek, hitting his head with a stack of paper. "Ugh, I swear to Fyora, you're really an idiot. Please excuse my employee sirs. What can I do for you ?

Big Skeith, after a glance at my pathetic face, decides to explain the situation to the Kacheek himself. She closes her eyes as she listens to him. _"Uh, Uh, I see. I do have an explanation for you, I believe. Did you wife happen to add some clawmatoes in her soup ?

_"Yes, it's one of her favourite things to put in there. Why ? Is there an issue with it ?

_"As stupid as it sounds, yes actually. I do not know the full details, but they contain some enzymes or something that react quite badly with the cold medicine your friend here took. They can induce sleepwalking tendencies and cravings when mixed together. Since the poor guy doesn't remember a thing, I believe that's what happen. What were the odds though ?

_"I see, thank you Ma'am ! Please keep slapping some sense into your apprentice.

_"I will good sir, have a nice day, sorry for the trouble !

Neovia 14:30

_"Wait for me here, I won't be long kid." says Big gently slapping my shoulder as he opens the door of the Crumpet Monger shop.

I'm leaning against the façade, still unsure about what's going to happen. Am I going to got to jail ? How are Mrs Crumpet and Mr Watson going to react ? They seem really nice to me and I really don't want them to hate me. As I'm wondering what's going to happen, I hear the bell and the door opens. It's Aaron.

_"Rough day, eh ?" he says as he leans against the shop next to me.

_"Yeah, pretty much. I assume you know everything." I whisper, still full of shame.

_"Yes, I do."

The sharp answer makes me shiver, but I didn't feel any anger in it. _"Look, as upset as I am, we know it's not your fault. Your boss said he was going to pay for the damaged door.

_"Really ? But what about the cupcakes, I mean, I ate all your stock...

_"You sure did!" he cries in laughter. "I can't believe you ate all that without feeling sick, you have some strong stomach kid !

_"Hey, don't call me kid, you're barely older than I am !" I manage to utter as I start to laugh with him.

_"Now that's better ! We have agreed on something with your boss. We're not gonna ruin a promising career, so hear me out. When you're not working your usual job, you'll come and work part time with us, that includes cleaning, deliveries, tasting my new recipes and other little things. That's how you're going to pay your debt to us. Does that sound fair to you ?" he grins.

_"You bet, thank you so much !" I say sobbing, finally relieved from the tension in my shoulders.

Neovia 21:30

I lay down my pen on my desk. I desperately needed to write a letter to mama to tell her everything. After that chat with Aaron, we came back inside the shop were Mrs Crumpet gave me a delicious crêpe to cheer me up. We ended up having a good laugh over this unlikely story and I'm going to start working part time with them tomorrow. I'm really eager to make it up to them. Once again, Big Skeith was there for me, and I can't thank him enough. He talked food with Mrs Crumpet during what felt like an eternity but it was a peaceful moment. As for Aaron, despite him being rightfully angry for his destroyed goods, he opened up to me and showed me how passionate he is about his job. I felt like we were the same on that point. I really wish I can become his friend because I really enjoyed his company. I better go to bed now, I have quite a doozy of a day tomorrow !

[professorwillynilly]

my day was so weird, like:

at work a family came in dressed EXCLUSIVELY in red white and blue Patriotic Swag(TM) and it took me a good five minutes to realize that it was bc it’s the 4th of July and not just cause they were being... American??? the kids spoke perfect Danish but a couple of the adults were speaking English with like a thick Texas drawl and my brain was having a helluva time trying to figure out what language to reply in

and then on my way home i passed a pair of guys who were like holding hands super subtly but the moment they saw me notice them they like instinctively jerked their hands away from each other and it broke my fucking heart and I almost crashed my bike in my hurry to tell them that I SUPPORT TGEM and holding hands is beautiful but i didn’t want to like... accidentally out someone in the middle of the street yaknow?

[yooneroos]

I’M DEADDDD either from protecting myself from not dying physically by the girls and boys shoving me around or the fact i saw wanna one. Y'all wanna one is short and I don’t know what to believe anymore. My 176 cm ass now knows she towers over like 9 out of 11 of them 😢 but they really are good live and the audience went berserk for them. They have amazing stage presence and like the songs live were so much better than i thought they’d be. their introductions in english were cute as hell. Like everything they say about them is so spot on like EVERYTHING. They look healthy and not starved which is always a good thing. Daniel is no joke. Like when you hear knetz say he oozes charisma it’s true. His stage presence is crazy and he just knows how to be sexy without trying (unfortunately for me considering i’m really trying not to stan him yaknow…the struggle is real)! HIS ENGLISH IS SO FUCKING GOOD YA’LL…. But I don’t believe he’s 180cm at all. Maybe my height and his legs are like 160cm but boy is THICK. I didn’t expect baejin’s face to be the size of a fist but it is. I didn’t expect woojin to be as adorable as he is but he is and he looks real young in person even if he trying to pretend he older than he is. Jihoon is smol too wtf his height always was misleading to me (and i always for some reason assumed he’d be my height but nah) but he is smol but yo each of his thighs are as big as my waist. I didn’t expect mama jisung to be as good looking in person but he’s really really pretty like too pretty LIKE DELICATE PRETTY?!?…. Hwang minhyuns visuals are really no joke…like he looks like a guy every Korean mom would kill to have as their son in law. Daehwi is cute as hell and definitely the actual maknae of the group and does cute shit 24/7 and a walking smiley face emoji like even the way he speaks you can literally hear rainbows and unicorns and happiness vomiting from his voice…like he just seems like a happy kid ya know while guanlin seems shell shocked like literally he is this emoji 😳. Jaehwan lost a lot of weight since p101…like I know he’s dieting but wow. Sungwoon is smaller than I thought…so he definitely maybe 163cm ha but everything else is true he’s got the face of porcelain china that only gods can bless you with. I didn’t expect to leave a ong stan but I did ㅠㅠ he is so unreal in person like his features and everything are perfect and he’s tall and his body moves so nice like real nice….it’s like his long limbs just know what the fuck to do…he can wear those pants and do that one move grinding with his hand during energetic every day for the rest of my life… BOY….THOSE PANTS….hid nothing. excuse me, I’m drooling again. But they’ve been blessed in every way wow…i really couldn’t be prouder of them. Literally started and ended in a blink of an eye though 😢  ...oh and I forgot to add ong being a special mc did me in.