#Speak 714

[revkilltaker]

Amendment Eighteen – This Years Enemy - 7″ - New Age Records - NAR40

Pressing Stats

Pressing #: First Press

Color:  Grey Vinyl

Qty Pressed: ???

Additional Info: Other Pressings Available

Track Listing

This Years Enemy

90262

In Abandons Care

8.5/10

[waytray]

i want to make!! so many covers!! i’ve saved a bunch of instrumentals of some of my fave songs, i’m excited to get my recording area set up in my new apartment (and figure out my mic heheh) plus! the first i’m going to be doing is an audition for a (temporary) english voice position as Vicky from Metal Family! (i’m suuuper excited abt that) going to record it tmrw or wednesday

[astrolynnworld]

aftercare

pairing: matt x reader

summary: matt takes care of you after rough sex

warnings: aftercare, comfort, kink talk, sweet, romantic, love

a/n: something short and sweet cause all my matt fics are smut

word count: 714

“fuck i’m so proud of you baby. you did so well tonight” matt says after pulling out of me

i don’t respond.

“baby? are you okay?” matt asks

i try to speak but nothing is coming out my mouth.

“you’re shaking princess-“ he pulls me up and holds me against his chest, “can you tell me what’s wrong baby? please?”

“i’m sorry. tonight was just a lot.. i’m not used to you being so rough” i say in a soft tone

“baby i’m so sorry. i didn’t realize that you weren’t enjoy-“

i cut him off

“no no no i did enjoy myself, i just don’t think my body was ready for all this-” i imply

“i mean .. i came three times, i can’t say i didn’t enjoy myself. it was just a lot” i continue in a lighthearted joking tone

he continues to hold me and lightly trace his fingers through my hair

“so.. i didn’t do too much?” he asks anxiously

“no baby, i’m just a bit overstimulated” i say as i lean back and look in his eyes

i could tell he really felt bad. which only made me feel worse

matt would never intentionally hurt me or do anything i don’t enjoy

we do have safeword, if i ever felt uncomfortable im not afraid to use it.

im just so used to a soft dom matt.. not a matthew who’s slamming into me at full speed while pushing my head into the bed so i can’t breathe.

i mean i was done after the second orgasm but he kept going, and i couldn’t stop him. it felt so good

i couldn’t even think anymore. he had his hands around my throat squeezing softly while lightly slapping my cheeks. it was all a lot

don’t even get my started on the hair pulling. i never knew matt even had it in him to be aggressive.

i think what set me over the edge was when he told me to stick my tongue out so he can spit in my mouth. he’s not even into that?

but regardless, it was all very overwhelming so i’m not surprised that i froze up after our final round

“baby?” matt calls out

“hm?” i respond

“did you hear what i said?” he asks

“no..”

“do you want me to run us a bath, would that help you relax”

i simply nod my head and he gets up to run the bath water

no less than a few minutes later he comes back and carries me to our bathroom and sits me in the tub loaded with bubbles

“aww you put bubbles in it? matt that’s so cute” i snicker

he smiles, “i thought you would enjoy more than the regular clear water”

he hops in the tub and sits across from me.

a comfortable silence fills the room for a minute before matt begins to speak

“are you sure you liked the sex tonight? i kinda just wanted to try something new, im sorry i didnt bring it up to you”

“matthew, i promise i enjoyed tonight! i just wasnt expecting it whatsoever.” i reply back

“okay oka-“

“it was really hot actually. i didn’t even know you were into some of these things” i interrupt

“like what?” he asks

“the spit..”

“honestly. i kinda always wanted to try it but i never did in fear that you would hate it” he exclaims

“what? no! that shit is such a turn on.”

“glad to know..” he smiles

i laugh, “boy! stop”

more silence fills the air for a few more minutes until i start to feel the drowsiness take over me

i yawn, “im getting sleepy..”

“wanna head to bed?” matt asks

i nod in response

he gets out the tub and guides me out, matt drains the tub as i dry myself off then we head back to our room

“where are you going?” matt asks

“to find a top?” i reply

“you don’t wanna sleep body to body?..” he questions acting offended

“you’re such a girl” i laugh

we hop in bed and i get comfortable in matt’s chest

“i love you so much y/n”

“i love you more matt”

our last words before the silence is filled in by comfortable snores

————————————————————————

a/n- the end 🫠

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#714 Babies say no

The triplets are staying with Grandma and Grandpa Leech as babies, while Jade and you look for your forever home in the mountain town...so video calls are a necessity-

Yuu*Seeing the triplets and smiles*Hi babies~Did you miss me?~

Amethyst, Amanita & Indigo(Toddlers)*All look at you with shining eyes pressing their speaking buttons*"YES YES YES-I MISS YOU!"

Jade*Besides you, smiling at them*Darlings do you miss me too?~

Amethyst, Amanita & Indigo(Toddlers)"BITCH BIT-BITCH NO!BITCH!-"

Jade:...

GRANDPA!Leech*Cackles seeing the triplets REJECT his son*PWHAHAHA!?

Grandma!Leech*Slaps the backhead of his husband dissaprovingly*HONEY-

Part 4 of:

[novella-november]

Ominous / Outline October 2024 Announcement Post:

The poll about Ominous October prompts has now wrapped up, and the results are in!

51% voted to used the narrowed list of polls, while 25% wanted to vote to narrow down the prompts, and the other % had no opinion.

So! We've got two (three?) options for those participating in Ominous October 2024 :)

Ominous October 2024 *Weekly Short Stories* - Writing 714 words each day, complete one short story each week totaling 5k (or more) based on the following prompts:

Week One: Undead / Strange Town

Week Two: Changeling / Curse

Week Three: Parasitism / Revenge

Week Four: Transformation / Eternity

[You can choose between either prompt for the week, or combine them both in your story!]

Ominous October 2024 *Daily Short Stories OR Poetry*- each day, write a drabble/short story or poem based on the following prompts:

Raised from the dead

Ghost stories

“I put a spell on you”

Replacement and parasitism (changelings, cuckoos, All About Eve)

Victim turns the tables on their bully

Playing pretend or acting out on stage turns real

Medical abuse and sadistic doctors

Phantom limb

A single candle

Costume

Under the bed

What lurks in the cellar

The weird small-town

A knock at the door

The witching hour

It will never end

Graveyard ghost hunting

Misty road

Potions

Harvesting

Banshee's lullaby

Crooked reflection

"Do not speak its name"

The eleventh hour

It's too late

Bones itching

Poisoned coffee

Bloody hands

Since October is right before November, and a lot of people are going for the 30,000 words in a month goal, there are three catch-up/rest days from the 29th through the 31st!

On the 31st, Everyone picks one (or more!) spooky stories to post to celebrate!

Here is a template for Ominous October:

Please feel free to make your own custom decorated goal cards and post them in the Ominous October tags!

And don't forget to reblog for more reach! Everyone participating has around two weeks to do any prep they'd like for the weekly short stories with the prompts :D

If you would prefer to focus on Novella November Prep, there's also:

Outline October 2024

Where you spend the month outlining, doing research, making character designs, world-building, etc!

[iichfilwypj]

flowers, please | percy jackson

ღ percy jackson x daughter of persephone! reader ღ warnings: mentions of kidnapping? ღ wc: 714

The sadness soaked the meadow of flowers as, with summer’s goodbye, it began to fade in color and vibrancy.  The sweet scent was turning earthy and woody, and the air, once warm and dense, now felt lighter, with the wind starting to stir.

But who cares? Just the usual changes, right?

But for her, it was different. 

There she sat, a few meters from the meadow, her gaze fixed on the sky as clouds blocked the sun, dulling the once vibrant atmosphere. Leaves crunched and fluttered down onto her, but she made no effort to shake them off.

The end of summer was a reminder of what her mother suffered: how she was taken by force and forced to marry Hades (a god she despised more than any other), torn from her own mother, forced to leave them all behind during that unbearable part of the year.

Fortunately for her, a certain son of Poseidon is completely willing to make those six months less torturous.

She sensed he was near, the ocean breeze and the smell of wet sand filling the air around her. As she felt the crunch of orange leaves and the warmth of a body at her side, she naturally drew closer to him. Percy slid his hand to hold hers and moved so his cheek rested against the top of her head.

He didn’t have to say a word for her to feel comfortable enough to speak. “I hate this. I hate how this happens. Knowing the truth, not what that ridiculous science says.” There was a nostalgic tone to her voice, and he tightened his hold. “It’s just not fair, you know?

He was at a loss for words. How do you even respond to such grief? He had suffered a lot when he lost his mother for a few days, but what did he know about pain? About missing someone? 

He couldn’t believe anyone could bear so much, and yet besides him was the strongest girl he had ever met.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed before someone spoke again. It could have been minutes or hours, but eventually, the boy pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to her.

“This is nothing compared to what you deserve, but I did my best.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she slowly opened the box.

Inside, there was a flower. And not just any flower;  this one seemed more alive than ever, with a small, glowing aura surrounding it. She could almost see the tiny sparks leaping from petal to petal.

“I wanted it to be blue but it’s still pretty. I asked some son of Demeter, and I think he did something to make sure it lasts a while. At least until spring comes back. Or that's what I'm hoping for, I paid him with my lunch so-” His voice was cut off as his girlfriend suddenly threw herself at him, after snapping out of her thoughts. 

Whether she thanked him or not, Percy didn’t hear it. He didn’t care either; she could despise him, and he'd still go to the ends of the earth just to keep a single tear from falling from her eyes. 

Time drifted by as they remained wrapped in each other's arms. The night fell, and neither of them had said a word. Percy began to feel the girl's body growing heavier in his arms and realized she was drifting off to sleep. Just as he started to move, intending to lift her, she spoke.

"Do you know what type of flower it is?" Her voice was raspy and sleepy, so he took it as a sign that it was time to keep moving.

“What do you think?” He answered, lifting her effortlessly in his arms and making his way toward his cabin. He didn’t hear the quiet chuckle she released, but he felt it against his shoulder. “What type of flower is it, nerd?” 

“An Edelweiss," she whispered, tilting her head toward him. He looked at her, puzzled. She closed her eyes and explained. “It’s known as the eternal flower. It symbolizes true and eternal love. It’s my favorite flower”. 

"Oh." He paused, catching her gaze just before he opened the blue door. His smile mirrored her own. "Guess it’s my favorite flower too."

go girl give us nothing! nah actually i liked it! ahora tengo público en español!! que divertidoooo me re cuesta escribir las notas estas en inglés JAJAJAJ

[akutasoda]

hewwo can i ask for jouno, tetcho, tachihara and other if u want; with a s/o that is their ideal type, the person they needed

my missing piece

synopsis - when they neet their perfect type

includes - tachihara, jouno, tecchou

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, wc - 714

a/n: hello! just a reminder that this is all my opinion!

taglist - @vi-chan07

michizō tachihara ★↷

↪his ideal type would probably be somebody who is headstrong and quite independent. he's the undercover expert in the hunting dogs and is away for long periods of time so he'd prefer someone who is willing to wait that long for him to return.

↪but he also would love somebody who is able to take a joke and has a close to perfect work life balance. when he's with you he doesn't want either of you to think about work, he just wants to relax with you by his side and focus on silly disagreements such as what to have for dinner.

↪if he ever met somebody who was his ideal type, he'd freeze. his nerves would get the best of him and he be so hesitant to eventually ask you out even though you are everything he'd ever want in a person.

↪that being said, he isn't actually that picky when it comes to his perfect person. there is a lot he looks for in a person but if he loves someone he loves them. sure they'd still have a couple of qualities he's looking for but he knows he can't control who he ultimately falls for.

↪but finding his perfect person would bring him a huge sense of comfort. it would give him hope that you two would stay together through thick and thin.

saigiku jouno ★↷

↪he is extremely picky and particulate when it comes to deciding who he'd want to be with. it doesn't matter if you have every quality he's looking for, if he isn't in the right mindset he won't bat an eye. jouno doesn't exactly seek out a relationship and would easily pass along the opportunity to be with his ideal type if he wasn't ready.

↪however, some qualities he does look for is someone who openly speaks their mind with little regard for the consequences. he wants them to be open and honest with their feelings and not hide behind the ideas of others in order to please them or blend in.

↪he would also really like if his partner was morally grey like himself. he doesn't want someone who is so easily swayed to one side or another, no he wants someone who sits on the fence, who isn't afraid to use sketchy means but still keep to some basic moral grounds.

↪his blindness would never be an issue but you would have to prepare to help him occasionally. whether that be helping him within his or your accomodation or even just helping him de-stress by letting him listen to your heartbeat. just be prepared for him to get quite needy sometimes.

↪finding his perfect person would ultimately lead him to initially believe that he could finally get rid of the idea of relationships. however he would come to realise that he really couldn't live without you after a while, you understood him better than anyone else.

tecchou suehiro ★↷

↪he is one of the most least picky people when it comes to his ideal type. in fact, tecchou rarely thinks about having a relationship with someone but he would be another firm believer that you can't control who you fall in love with. you fall in love with who you fall in love with and you should try and make it work.

↪if he was asked who his ideal type was, he would say that he would like them to be adventurous and not afraid to take risks. he values confidence and wants someone who would willingly try new things - you probably would comr to curse your willingness to try new things when you were net with his food combinations.

↪self righteousness is another valuable quality in his opinion. he is a firm believer in justice and he needs someone who shares a strong belief in a similar field. similarly, someone who is quite driven would also be appealing to him. these qualities would give tecchou the confidence in his relationships.

↪when he finds his perfect person, he acts the same. the only difference is you and your constant presence in his life. now he seeks you out after the day is done, he basks in your company and wonders how he ever got by without you in his life.

[aeruia]

↻. GENSHIN IMPACT

↻. EYES ON ME .

in which [name] can't really handle eye contact very well, can they handle scara's gaze on them? ( they can't . /j )

pairing : scaramouche x reader

warning/s : lowercase intended, not good very cringey!

word count : 714

note : not really my best work but i'm doing this for the sake of keeping this blog alive and active, i have sm pending works istg i've been trying to finish them all at once 😭

you have a habit of staring everywhere except to whoever is talking to you. every time someone speaks with you, you're looking in the other direction and aside from that you will only look at them if necessary. several of your friends also noticed that if you're talking to others, your gaze seems to avert and look elsewhere.

they asked you about it and it appears that you're unable to hold eye contact for too long since you weren't used to making eye contact with other people and got used to working alone or with only a few people you had known like family.

by the time you have finished your work, you find yourself having a drink and a chit-chat with scara. it was only supposed to be a small chat with how your work and his work is but seems like scara has other plans. he made you his drinking buddy.

you weren't really a fan of drinking yet you accepted the offer since you don't wanna be rude and now, you're here drinking with none other than scara as you avoid looking at him as possible. everything around you now looks interesting to you. it now appears that each thing has a deep meaning that it should have. with your eyes glancing almost everywhere you still managed to catch everything he says word by word.

he notices that your eyes have been glancing everywhere but he never saw you glance at him even for a second. tilting his head to the side, his arms crossed near his chest.

“ are you listening? ” that didn't sound like a question to you yet it is a question. you're just interpreting it differently. “ huh? yes, of course. i'm listening. ” answering his question only looking at him for a few seconds and then smiled before looking away again.

the indigo haired man smiled. it wasn't visible but you can see it if you look closely. he stopped discussing things with you besides everything that was coming out from his mouth was complaining.

in exchange for the silence, his eyes linger on you, you can feel his eyes on you as if he was burning holes into your sitting figure in front of him. your [e/c] slowly side eye scara's own orbs. he was definitely just looking at you and by the looks of it he doesn't have any plans on looking away soon even if you aren't staring at him.

“ you genuinely can't keep an eye contact, huh? ” he questioned as if it wasn't obvious enough by how you tried to avoid his gaze. he knows that you aren't that used to looking at someone in the eye and also knowing that it's disrespectful to not look at the person who's talking to you.

you didn't even notice there was a lump forming at your throat if you haven't gulped. everything looks so interesting right now, you just want to run away from here and look for something that looks interesting and pretend to study it. “ i should really practice on holding eye contact.. ” you thought, you can even do it by looking at the person in front of you but that doesn't seems like a good idea.

the person in front of you is scaramouche. everything about him feels intimidating for you. building up the courage you finally give in and looked up at him. he was taken back when you looked back at him, his eyes widened for a second before he smiled smugly at you.

that lasted you well, not that long but you're proud of yourself for that. you hear him chuckle as he uncrosses his arms as he puts his hand on the table.

“ very well then, can't really keep your pretty eyes on me for so long? ” he teased with a saddened tone when he said the words so long as your cheeks heat up.

you didn't even answer it as you just left him alone there, not wanting to embarrass yourself any further as scara just watched you walked away.

he noticed the tip of your ears were red when you stand up and he couldn't help but smile by just how adorable you are.

maybe teasing you more often, will make him see your other side?

date posted 052024

[atthebell-moved]

Updated QSMP AO3 Work Language Stats-- as of July 9th, 2023

Hello! Doing an update to my June 6th, 2023 QSMP AO3 stats post going over the languages QSMP works are tagged with, one month (approx.) later. Feel free to refresh yourself with last month's data, as I'll be referencing it throughout this post.

We're just going to start off with the plain stats, and then we'll do comparisons to a month ago as well as analysis. The analysis will probably be similar to last time, as I don't think a ton has changed. Long post ahead!

Fun tidbits at the start:

QSMP has 2147 works as of today (July 9, 2023)! That's a difference of 714 works from the original 1433 works, so about a 50% increase.

English is still the most commonly tagged language, and its percentage has actually gone up a small amount since last month. Brazilian Portuguese has also gone up to 3.07%, while Spanish has slightly decreased in terms of percentage.

Some new languages added to the mix! There's now one work written in Malaysian Malay, and French finally has some works.

Speaking of! There's now works in all of the four spoken languages on the server :D

I used the same methodology as last time, which was to manually filter by each language I expected to have works, then do the math to make sure I wasn't missing any. You can check the previous post to find that info as well as how I got my AO3 total works stats.

Okay! Now onto numbers:

Getting into the stats:

QSMP Works

[Image Description: A table with three columns; the first lists languages, the second the number of works, and the third the percentage of total works. For the languages column, each language is listed first in that language and then in English in parentheses, and English, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, and French are all color-coded to indicate that they are spoken on the server. End ID.]

The most commonly tagged language, like I said above, is English, with 1751 works or 81.56% of total works in the QSMP fandom tag.

The second most commonly tagged language is Spanish, with 317 works and 14.76% of the fandom. Next is Brazilian Portuguese at 66 works and 3.07%.

French has works now! There are 5 works, which is about 0.23% of works in the fandom tag.

And the next four are not spoken on the server, but several are unsurprising (discussed in the previous stats post, but reiterated below): Mandarin at 3 works and 0.14%, Russian at 2 works with 0.09%, Latin at 1 work with 0.05%, Esperanto at 1 work with 0.05%, and Malaysian Malay at 1 work with 0.05%.

Preliminary observations! English, like I said, has gone up a bit in terms of percentage, as has Brazilian Portuguese, while Spanish has gone down. It's not a huge percentage difference, but I'll discuss my limited theories as to why that change might've happened.

The only really new language this month, as French was expected to get works since it's spoken on the server, is Malaysian Malay. I don't know a ton about Malay in general, so I don't want to speak too much about it in terms of population, but if any Malay speakers or Southeast Asians familiar with it have anything to add, feel free! This work is a translation of an English work by the same author, which is rad; I'll talk a bit more about translations below. Otherwise I don't have any particular observations other than wanting to note that it's a new language and I'm happy to see it!

Across All fandoms

[Image Description: The same table as above, this time with numbers for all fandoms across AO3. End ID.]

The most commonly tagged language is English at 10,154,701 works and 89.31% of all works on AO3.

Spanish has 133,743 works and 1.18%

Brazilian Portuguese has 31,218 works and 0.27%

French has 53,917 works and 0.47%

Mandarin has 638,576 works and 5.61%

Russian has 241,121 works and 2.12%

Latin has 165 works and 0.0015%

Esperanto has 106 works and 0.00093%

Malaysian Malay has 119 works and 0.001%

I don't have a ton of new observations for this, as I don't think any changes were all that significant, and QSMP is so much smaller than the total works that comparison is more helpful in terms of indicating which languages are typically used on the site versus commonly spoken languages, which don't always align.

Changes Since Last Month:

[Image Descriptions: Two tables, identical to those above aside from the numbers in each cell. One is the QSMP numbers from last month, as linked at the top of the post. One is the QSMP numbers for this month, as displayed above. End ID.]

Like I said above, English, Brazilian Portuguese, and French have gone up in terms of percentage while Spanish has gone down.

Mandarin and Russian have both gained one work each, and Latin and Esperanto have stayed at one work.

New language! Malay has gained one work, a translation of an English work by the same author.

Time for analysis!

Analysis/Theories:

First thing I want to look at is the fact that Spanish has gone down in terms of percentage, and why that may be. The change is not wildly significant, and the fandom is growing fairly quickly, so I don't think it's a huge difference, but I still wanted to talk about it briefly. My biggest theory is just that as other languages have gained more works, Spanish has not grown quite as quickly in that time. Portuguese went up a bit, meaning its percentage has likely cut into Spanish's, alongside a few others gaining works. Remember that percentages work like a pie chart-- when one percentage increases, one or more of the rest must decrease. I don't have many other theories, and again, I don't think this is that huge of a difference.

French has works now! Honestly, this is completely unsurprising to me. French creators have had far more time to settle in, get involved in lore, and French fans have had more time to get interested in the server generally. Hope to see many more to come!

I don't have any significant analysis when it comes to the Malay fic, other than that I think the nature of QSMP will continue to encourage new fics in new languages. QSMP is about cross-cultural communication and encouraging people to speak their own languages as well as learn about others'; I think it makes perfect sense for people to want to write fic in their native languages, even more so than a typical fandom. Excited to see this continue, particularly in the case of minority and endangered languages.

Translation! I brought this up in the last post, so I don't want to carry on about it too much, but there are still plenty of works that are translations, which I think is very cool. Translation is a huge element of the server and of the fandom and I think it's really lovely that people took on the very arduous effort of translating theirs and others' works into other languages. Massive kudos!

Otherwise, I think my analysis from last time stands-- tl;dr, QSMP is far more likely to have Spanish and Portuguese works than AO3 generally because of the nature of the server, the server members, and the way that Spanish MCYT fandom in particular has grown in the last several years.

Last time I talked about Eng, Esp, and Prt-br speakers being really central to lore, and this time I would just add that I think several French members, namely Baghera and Etoiles, have made themselves significant within lore and just all-around fan favorites, so I hope to continue to see more works in French but also just more works about them in general. Cellbit is still hot, that hasn't changed, and I think the dynamics of streamer attractiveness aren't really something key to this kind of analysis, although they're certainly interesting.

Disclaimers, Conclusions, Final Notes:

I am not a statistician! I just think fandom stats are interesting. If I did any math wrong, please let me know. I also want to note that I'm not doing any particularly quantitative analysis here aside from turning work numbers into percentages, and that is partially intentional, as I don't think there's enough works at this time to do anything really strenuous, just to make some observations.

Going to copy-paste this note from last time, as well, as I think it's an important element about the multilingualism of the QSMP that is less common in other fandoms:

Due to the nature of the server, there is also a huge number of works that contain elements of multiple languages, ranging from a few works to a decent chunk of the dialogue swapping between languages. This is not completely unheard of in fandoms, of course, as there are many fandoms which provide the opportunity for multilingualism, but this is fun to note because it's so present in the canon itself. I would argue there's a decent number of fics that are themselves bilingual/trilingual/multilingual, and I wish AO3 had a way of tagging them as such. I'm not sure if there are any freeforms along those lines, but I have seen some folks noting in their tags that there's some amount of Spanish/Portuguese in them as well as English, and the same goes for the Spanish fics I've looked at.

^ I hope that continues to be a trend in fic, and I think that it continues the spirit of multilingualism both on the server and in the fandom.

Once again, here is the link to the stats as of June 6, 2023, and I hope you all enjoyed looking at these numbers!

[y-rhywbeth2]

Lore: Half-elves

Disclaimer and Other Lore Index

Elflore: Physiology and quirks | Names & Clans and Houses || Pan-Cultural things: Social life | Time and Age Categories | Homes | Language | Art | Entertainment | Technology || Elven 'Subraces' still a wip || Philosophy and Religion & Pantheons || Half-elves |

OK, here's the half-elf lore dump I said I would finish. It's... long. An overview of the history of half-elves (such as it is) and the societies they're found in, with a mention of dark and sea elven half-elves; their physical traits/capabilities and aging; and then a note to some unique inclinations and perspectives often seen in half-elves regarding religion.

Cha'Tel'Quessir; Half-Elves. The most common and most accepted of the human hybrids by miles (unless you've got drow heritage). More conventionally attractive than half-orcs, with a more socially acceptable non-human parent, they are not treated with the same hate and disgust. Their fey heritage is more palatable than the fiendish heritage of tieflings, which causes the planetouched to be viewed with fear.

They are the offspring of a human and an elf; two half-elves; or the very, very rare case of dormant elven genes suddenly resurfacing in a human family with a distant elven ancestor.

They are only common when compared to the other mixed races of Faerûn, and are "scarce in number and widely dispersed across the face of Faerûn". They are most populous in the Eastern state of Aglarond, with the Southern nation of Dambrath formerly hosting the world's second largest half-elven population. The half-elven society of the Yuirwood makes up 30% of the overall population of the larger region of Aglarond. Until 1385 DR - people of mixed human, elven and drow heritage named the Crinti made up 15% of the population of Dambrath. These guys would need their own posts.

Historically, half-elves were known during the heights of the elven empires, but barely. In the last days before their fall, the empires of Illefarn and Cormanthyr had their own half-elven minority due to the growing number of human settlements that had been brought under elven crown authority, but by 714 DR these half-elven minority cultures had disappeared.

They are most commonly found where elven and human populations live together - which means that almost every single half-elf is a moon elf.

The city of Silverymoon is a melting pot founded on the basis of bringing all of the divided peoples of the region together in cooperation and has an unusually high elven population as a result. It has a population that's 40% humans, 21% elves and 12% half-elves, quite comfortably living together - making one of the only places in the Realms half-elves can live surrounded by both their cultures within the same city, instead of one culture only really being present at home.

Neverwinter (Eigersstor to the Northerners, who speak Illuskan), is another Northern city, was founded by elves and humans, and while the population is largely human in appearance and culture in the modern day, they have elven heritage. Half-elves are not an unusual sight.

In much of the world, half-elves are completely unremarkable or at the very least will not face much hostility, simply because few people have much, if any, experience with elves to judge them by.

In lands where humans and elves have a history of conflict such as Sembia and Tethyr, half-elves are both rare and viewed unkindly. Half-elves in these regions usually don't encounter other half-elves who they can relate to, and those who don't migrate elsewhere usually keep to themselves. They tend to be seen as elves by the humans (untrustworthy and dangerous otherworldly fey creatures) and they usually feel unwelcome or out of place with the elves that remain in these lands, who often lazerfocus on their human heritage.

Half-humans in elven lands often find themselves struggling. While they can be found in the elven priesthoods, and be trained in any elven tradition, it seems that elven society only begrudgingly lets them do so. Individual elves may be anything from hateful to wholeheartedly welcoming them as kin - some even see half-elves as a sign of a hope for a better future for elves in the larger world, but as a society they seem to have issues and it's common for the birth of a half-elf to be seen as a 'tragedy,' particularly by the nobility.

For example, the Evereskan College will only train a half-elf in elven combat and magical arts with the sponsorship of an elven parent "of sufficiently exalted parentage."

They are not welcomed to the elven refuge of Evermeet, though they may be tolerated visiting elven family there every once in a while. Even non-elven residents who are tolerated there would find their welcome revoked if it were discovered they had elven ancestry.

It's a near certain thing that any half-elf encountered is of moon elven ancestry, since moon elves are generally the only elves who will live amongst humans as a rule. Half-moon elves sometimes have a faint tinge of blue on their chin and ears, framing their face.

Half-wood elves are uncommon, but do turn up where human settlements border ancient woods.

Half-sun elves are borderline non-existent outside of the region surrounding Elven Court (these are the descendants of the now extinct ancient cosmopolitan sun elven city of Myth Drannor).

Half-drow are exceedingly rare and face heavy prejudice and occasionally fetishization, if their heritage is obvious (which it usually is, dark elven genetics are dominant). -- If born into Lolthite society, they are despised and considered second-class citizens (and treated accordingly). Such half-drow do not have pleasant backstories. -- Many are the offspring of Eilistraeean or Vhaeraunite drow, as these are the two drow gods that encourage drow to leave the Underdark and interact peaceably with surfacers. -- Eilistraeean half-drow may be born of loving relationships between the Dark Maiden's followers and those rare humans who will take the risk of giving them a chance, instead of writing them off as evil/killing them on sight. -- The birth of half-drow is encouraged by Vhaeraun in order to spread Vhaeraunite drow culture and genetics through the surface, and in order to secure his people a place in surface societies safely outside of Lolth's influence. -- Of course it's entirely possible for these children to be the result of a simple consensual fling, too.

Half-aquatic elves are an exceedingly rare minority within a minority. For starters, one of their parents lives on land and the other at the bottom of the ocean. Not to mention that sea elves can only survive on land for a matter of hours before it starts to kill them. Half-human offspring have a slight webbing between their fingers and toes that makes them excellent swimmers. Sea elves do not have the "willowy" build that is often seen on other elves, and so their half-human offspring never have it either. Unlike their parents, they cannot breathe underwater and are forced to remain on land to be raised by their human family, usually only seeing their elven relatives for short visits. Much like their elven parent they have an instinctual longing for the water, and cannot stand being away from the shore.

-

Half-elves may inherit any physical features from either parent, and might show a mixture of traits or pass entirely as a human or elf to onlookers. The offspring of a half-elf with a human will be considered a human by the game rules, and likewise, in the Realms, a half-elf having a child with an elf produces an elf. Despite game mechanics, these children still have a mixture of genetics, and it's possible to see a human with pointy ears or a moon elf with brown eyes. However, in particularly conservative circles there is a distinction made about 'pureblood' or 'trueblood' elves, and having non-elven heritage can carry stigma. This was in the time of Cormanthyr though, so hopefully it's died down at least somewhat.

Half-elves cannot be forced to sleep by magic. Some can reverie and commune and even pass the ability on to children they have with non-elves, though some half-elves find they can't.

They can see perfectly in low light conditions, and their hearing and vision is superior to a human's - although not as sharp as an elf's. Half-drow can see in complete darkness perfectly.

Their human heritage does not stop magic that affects elves from affecting them. They are harmed by magic intended to harm elves, and they have access to magic meant to be wielded only by elves. In reverse, the same also applies for magic that singles out humans.

A half-elf has a soul more akin to a human's than the fey spirit that is an elf, they will not reincarnate the same way.

They will age slowly, with a natural lifespan reaching over 100 but under 200 years, retaining their elven vitality all the way. While they may go grey, a half-elf is much livelier and sprier than a human of equivalent physical age. From a human lifespan's perspective, this is like having your grandma - who goes on hundred mile long runs every morning - pinching your cheeks when you're an ancient grandma yourself. From the elven perspective, this is watching your child wither and die in a time period where they should be being welcomed into adulthood.

As with elves, half-elves may well find that the tips of their ears and the palms of their hands are erogenous zones.

-

In terms of religion, half-elves often favour the gods of love and beauty - the elven god/ess Hanali Celanil and the human goddess Sune, who they thank for bringing their parents together.

Half-drow migrants to the Yuirwood brought the worship of EIlistraee with them, and her worship became popular with half-elves of other lineages all over the place. She's particularly popular with half-elven bards as a goddess of dance and music.

Half-elves are known to revere the elven pantheon, but tend to hold the elven aspect of Mielikki - Khalreshar - in special regard. In elven tradition she is the daughter of Hanali and the Faerûnian wilderness god Sylvanus, making her the only half-elven deity.

Half-aquatic elves often worship the sea elven deity Deep Sashelas or the human god of sailors, Valkur. Like all who live by the sea, they all pay homage to Umberlee. The sea goddess herself seems to enjoy tormenting them in particular.

[mimisempai]

Fascination

At first it was all about stargazing, but Aziraphale found his demon much more fascinating to gaze at.

Notes

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

Kiss #3: A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond

On Ao3

Rating T -  714 words

"And what's that one that looks like an hourglass?"

They were lying on a blanket on the roof of the bookshop, looking up at the starry sky. It was Aziraphale who had thoughtfully suggested it, figuring the demon might be tired of seeing the stars only through the planetarium's artificial sky.

For half an hour, Crowley had enthusiastically described the sky and answered all the angel's questions.

He looked at the spot Aziraphale pointed to, and his face lit up as he replied, "What you call an hourglass, that's Orion. You can recognize him by his belt."

"His belt?"

"Yes, those three stars in the center, the place where the two parts of your hourglass meet, if you prefer. They are Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka. They are called the Three Kings or the Three Sisters. But more than that, if you continue to look along the alignment of his so-called shoulders, you'll see the stars that form his bow. For Orion is said to be a hunter.

Receiving no response from the angel, he asked, "Do you see it, the bow, angel?"

Receiving only a distracted hum of approval, he turned his head to see that Aziraphale was looking not at the sky, but at him.

Crowley raised an eyebrow and asked, "Am I boring you with my explanations?"

Aziraphale shook his head and raised his hand to the demon's face before saying softly, "Not at all, but I'm afraid you offer a far more fascinating spectacle than this sky, my dear."

Crowley, embarrassed by the praise, decided to deflect it and replied, "So corny, angel..."

Laughing softly, Aziraphale leaned up on one elbow and countered, "I don't care if I'm corny, because I'm only speaking the truth. So bear with me."

Then he began to delicately trace the contours of the demon's face with his hand, and the demon's breath caught in his throat at the gentle caress. He didn't feel like teasing Aziraphale anymore.

The angel continued, gently drawing the demon's eyebrows, "Even the brightest star pales in comparison to your eyes."

He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on each eyelid before continuing to trace the bridge of Crowley's nose with his finger, "No star has a line as pure as this." 

He pressed a series of soft kisses along the demon's nose, then traced the outline of the demon's lips with his finger, saying softly, "And those lips, that smile, no matter how long we've been apart, always, always, you've greeted me with that beautiful smile. Brighter than the sun."

This time, he didn't follow up his words with a kiss, but continued to stare at the demon's face in silence, his admiration clearly visible on his face.

Suddenly, Crowley broke the silence and said breathlessly, barely a whisper but perfectly audible in the stillness of the night, "Kiss me."

Aziraphale smiled and cupped the demon's face in his hands, slowly leaning forward. At first, his lips only lightly caressed the demon's until Crowley begged in a breath, "Please, Angel, kiss me."

Aziraphale murmured against the demon's lips, "Anything you want, my beautiful demon," before finally closing the thin gap between them.

They'd kissed before, many times in fact, in different ways and under different circumstances since they'd been openly in love, but this kiss under the stars had a special touch of warmth and sweetness, of devotion and love.

Crowley's lips parted softly as the angel pressed his to them, and that simple touch sent a wave of barely fathomable sensations through the demon, who moaned softly into the kiss and wrapped an arm around Aziraphale's back, pressing him closer to deepen the kiss.

Later, as they parted to catch their breath, Aziraphale said softly, "Let's continue this at home, I want to worship more of you than just your face. As much as you love the sky and all its stars, I want to show you how much I love everything about you."

Crowley gasped at the devotion he read in the angel's gaze, and whatever his passion for the sky and the stars, nothing could keep him from granting such a sweet request.

And much later, as he lay in their bed, cradled in his angel's arms, he had forgotten all about Orion and his belt.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable kisses series : here

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[hotpinkboots]

Omg wait. Can I get Valentine’s Day thingy with 049? If someone already requested that, then 035! -💗

~~~~~~~~~~

~𝕾𝕮𝕻 049 x Reader: Valentine's Day~

~~~~~~~~~~

Just decided to do 049 since the Valentine's Special thingies already take a while to write!

Note: The black text isn't working for me, still....It doesn't do anything when I try to make the text black, so DAMN. It has to be red for, like, BLOOD OR SOMETHING DARLINGS 😩 When Tumblr fixes the black text thingy I'll edit it so that it's black and matches the characters.

Remember, the Valentine's Special includes:

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝕾𝕮𝕻 049

★★★★

~~~~~

~⭐How do they spend Valentine's Day with their darling?⭐~

🖤🖤🖤

~He can't do much, but he will try. Demands they bring you to him for a few hours, at least.

~A lot of physical touching if you're somehow immune or if you're wearing SCP 714. Hugs, kisses on the hand, pressing his forehead against yours, ect. Anytime he can touch you, he touches you a lot- 049 is addicted to feeling something alive, breathing- something with a pulse. You're the only living thing he can touch without falling dead at his feet.

~Demands somebody to bring some sort of dessert for the two of you to share, and will perhaps read a romance novel or something with you.

~He low-key thinks SCP 714 is basically your wedding ring. It's the thing that stops his touch from killing you, and you're wearing it for him- you're married to him don't deny it >:C

~If you do deny it? oh well y'know that's for another time *looks at yandere 049*

~Spending quality time with you is all he wants to do.

~~~~~

~⭐What gifts do they get for you?⭐~

🖤🖤🖤

~While he unfortunately can't buy anything for you, he'll get all fancy and poetic for you.

~Prepare for a ton of love letters and romantic poems about how gorgeous you are.

~~~~~

~⭐Mini Love Letter!⭐~

🖤🖤🖤

On a nicely folded white sheet of paper (he would've used something more...fancy if he were allowed), written in gorgeous cursive with a black pen...

"Darling,

You are the only thing that brings me genuine joy. While I am shunned into the darkness of this world of blood and gray walls, you make it liveable.

Though I am unsure of why you love me, I know your love is true. You are all I crave and desire. My angel, my light. My love. You are pure, and perfect. I love you.

~Your Doctor"

(Let us say you call him "My dear Doctor". He loves the respect, the fact you speak to him as though he were a fellow scientist.)

~~~~~

~⭐ Moodboard Time!⭐~

🖤🖤🖤

~~~~~~~~~~

⭐REBLOGS⭐>💀LIKES💀

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Rules/Masterlist (Scroll Down For The Masterlist)!

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Discord Server! Here you can roleplay with and as your favorite characters, get updates on my fanfiction, and get sneak peaks for my upcoming videogames!:

~~~~~~~~~~

~Love, PinkBoots

[stealingyourbones]

DPxDC Prompt Masterlist #701-750

701. [Insert Location Here] 702. Lancer Meets Jason via Book Rec Blog 703. Jason Speaks Esperanto704. Scooby Doo Meets Circus Gothica 705. Dick is Undercover at Circus Gothica 706. Dick Summons Danny 707. Jason Drops off Lancer's Lunch 708. Jason/Lancer Adoption 709. Long Lifespan Danny & Superman 710. Conspiracy Pals 711. Clark is cousins with the Fentons 712. The Writers Unite (FAV PROMPTS!!!!) 713. Blunt Rotation Pals 714. Kyle Weston Vs. Bernard 715. Rat King Lazarus Pit 716. Deadman mistaken for Danny 717. Jason is Part Blob Ghost 718. Jason is Plasmius' Younger Brother 719. House of Mystery into Nasty Burger 720. Jason goes to Ghost Heaven 721. Danny Possesses Deadman 722. Eldritch Speedsters 723. Tagging is a real Graffiti Term Guys 724. Jason meets Matches 725. Dash meets Matches Malone 726. Wally is Danny's Uncle 727. Paulina works for Harvey Dent 728. Tim Followed by Blob Ghost!Jason 729. Jarro meets Danny 730. Billy finds Danny at the Rock of Eternity 731. Wally is Sentenced by Ghost Court 732. Bart Drives into the GZ 733. Tim Summons GK for No Sleep 734. Lighting Core Billy Batson (FAV PROMPTS!!!!!!!!!) 735. Danny Synthesizes Gotham Gasses 736. GK is Barry's Nephew 737. Billy is "Adopted" by Lunch Box 738. Bart Meets Sticky Note Guy 739. Danny Adopted by Brother 740. Danny Enchants Batbelt 741. Danny finds DC Comic Books 742. Deadman's Son 743. Demons Blood Danny 744. Lancer Knows How to Fight (Jason/Lancer) 745. Youngblood is Mr. Mxyzptlk's Grandson 746. JL Thinks Amity is full of Demons 747. R&D Developer Danny's 748. Hanahaki AU Blood Blossoms Jason 749. Eldritch Tim Drake (FAV PROMPTS!!!) 750. Yetis Adopt Jason

[hookedsworks]

Edge(ING) Fitness - Chapter XXXVI

Word Count 714

Ivy's POV.

AO3

Masterpost

CW/TW: mild, slight, itty bitty bit of exhibitionism, maybe, little bit of dirty talk, lots of teasing basically, so. much. dialogue.

“Yeah, I won. We won. It was awesome, we kicked major ass,” Ivy was overjoyed, he was talking to III. He was murmuring into his earbuds, because he was on the back of a really nice charter bus back to the hotel. III had called him a few minutes after he had settled in for the thirty five minute drive. III was speaking to him, telling him about Vessel’s performance. 

“He killed it, he always does,” 

“You’re gushing,” Ivy laughed then. He listened to III kind of choke. Then, III was talking to someone else. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, I drove so I can get myself back home,” he said, and Ivy recognized II’s muffled tenor. “II wants to go home with Vessel,” III relayed. “No, it’s Ivy,” the phone shuffled and then Ivy could hear II. 

“He’s a singer,” II laughed, and then Ivy heard who must have been Vessel speaking. He couldn’t discern any words. 

“Give me my phone back,” III was only kind of muffled, and then Ivy could hear some sort of scuffle and II’s laughs. “Oh, god,” III groaned right into the phone then. It made Ivy sit up straighter. “They’re kissing, Ives. In public,” he was being dramatic, and Ivy couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped him. “That’s gross!” he called out then. Ivy was giggling listening to III. He knew exactly how much III liked to kiss men, and that he was just giving Vessel a hard time. “They’re in love,” he confided then. 

“I wondered how long it would take,” Ivy felt a knot of tension, one he’d forgotten he had been carrying, release in his chest. II was in love. That meant that Ivy would get to keep III, that III wouldn’t fall for II. 

“So, uh. Go on any good dates lately?” 

“Mm, yeah. You?” Ivy shot back immediately, grinning. He knew III just didn’t want to hang up. Once he had gotten around to calling regularly, he never seemed to want to end a call anymore. Ivy loved it. 

“Yeah, but the guy I’m seeing must be kind of crazy. He actually agreed to come out on a run with me at six in the morning. I got to take him home after, so, worth it,” 

“Take him home?” Ivy looked around the bus. He was alone, hidden, and underneath a blanket. Everyone else was either in their own earbud land, or simply passed out. “Whatdid you do when you too him home?” Ivy heard his voice pitch downward, knew he was going to get hard from III’s response. He didn’t really care. He actually found himself reaching down and palming at his cock. III laughed, soft and low. It sounded like he was in his car now. 

“Well, I took his pretty, fat, pink dick all the way up my ass,” 

“I bet you’re tight,” Ivy interjected, sliding a hand beneath his waistband. He was getting hard. He wanted to get inside of III again. 

“You know I am,” III dropped the pretense. Ivy slowly jerked his dick once, twice. Just enjoying listening to III. “I would really, really like to do that again. Maybe I can fuck you, too,” 

“Maybe you can,” Ivy groaned. He thought he might die then. III wanted to fuck him. And get fucked by him. It was insanely hot. 

“Yeah, but, you’re not here right now, and I know you’re on a bus, so I’m not going to torture you,” 

“What!” Ivy couldn’t help his little outburst. III kind of cooed at him then. 

“You want me to torture you?” 

“Well, uh, obviously not. But, I’ll be home in an hour or so, if my estimate is right. There’s a key in the back garden, just jiggle the gate and it should come open. Let yourself in, make yourself comfortable. I want you in my bed when I get home,” III laughed at his desperation but he didn’t care. “I’m serious. We need to do that, we need to fuck,” he couldn’t help the words, the near begging, coming out of his mouth. 

“If you’re sure,” III started his car. Ivy could hear it. 

“I’m sure,” 

“Okay, I'll see you soon. I love you,” and the call disconnected. Wait…what the fuck did he just say? 

[imaginefan]

Give it A Try *Part 2*

Scott McCall X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 714

Requested: Anon

Request: Can you do a part two of I give it a try where scott proposes to the reader and then her abusive ex boyfriend finds out and then comes to beacon hills looking for his luna and his pups

*Part 1*

Warning: Abusive ex, being called a liar, recalling past events though no description of what happened

You and Scott had been together for a couple of years and you were happy, he slotted into your little family well and with all of his friends it made for a good support network, you forgot what you had been running from. Your kids were settling in well and they were happy so when Scott proposed to you and you accepted officially becoming part of his pack.

You were at the front desk waiting for any customers when you heard the door open, you smiled as you turned to the door but any words that you had in your throat died “there you are. I hope you enjoyed your little holiday because it’s time to come home, we’re going to go and get the kids and go.” “W-we aren’t going anywhere with you.” You muttered. “Speak up, you know I hate it when you mumble.” He ordered and you flinched before the familiar and calming scent wrapped around you as Scott took the place behind you pulling you into his chest and growling at the alpha in front of you. “I suggest you leave.” He ordered. “I will when my wife comes with me.” The man in front of you said and you stiffened. “We were never married.” You said, your voice was strong in that fact and Scott squeezed at your waist as if the signal that he needed an explanation from you. “You think anyone is going to believe your lies, I’m sorry man, she’s done this before-” “Do you really think I’m going to believe you?” Scott asked. “I can smell that you're lying.” “What?” He asked, Scott flashed his eyes at him and he stepped back clenching his jaw. “They’re my pups.” “You don’t get to decide that.” Scott argued “now get out of my shelter before I make you.” Scott watched the man leave, he never once left your side and once he was gone, he dropped his head to rest on your shoulder, you could hear him saying something but you were processing it. “(Y/N) breathe.” He almost sounded like he pleading as he moved your head so that you eyes connected, in that moment you realised that you had been holding your breath. “There you go…” “I’m sorry I never thought that he’d find us, I can go, I shouldn’t cause trouble for you.” You said and he frowned, latching his arms around your waist to stop you from getting away from him. “Go where?” He asked. “Leave, I dunno somewhere else.” You answered. “Who would keep you safe if you did that?” He asked. “Just explain what happened.” He guided you to sit on the chair behind the desk “you can’t just leave me remember?” “I… He’s my ex, he’s the kid's father. I left him because he was abusive, no one ever believed me because I healed before anyone saw, he passed it off as me telling lies.” You explained “I knew that the only way that things were going to be normal is if I ran, I didn’t think he’d find us, hoped he wouldn’t so I never talked about it. No one ever believed me anyway I didn’t think it was worth it.” “Well how about this, you stay with me and the rest of the pack and we keep you safe, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to save you from this before but I can be now, I promise.” He said softly. “I’ll marry you and you’ll stay here with me, it doesn’t matter how many times I have to fight him off I’ll make sure that you and the pups are safe.” “Scott I-” “I’m your mate, this is my job.” He smiled as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “All I need from you is to love me, can you give me that?” “Always.” You nodded. “Then we have nothing to worry about.” Scott said softly. After that talk he shut the shelter early and called his mum asking her to keep the pups with her for the night, they were more than happy to have a sleepover and he spent the rest of the night making sure that you felt safe and showing you the best place that you could have been was with him.

Requests and general question!

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Things Doctor Alto Clef is No Longer Permitted to Do On Site

As ordered by Site Command, O5 Counsel, The Administrator, several SCPs, and generally everyone who ever met the man, Doctor Alto Clef is no longer permitted to do the following:

Not allowed to point at anyone and state "Someone tell 049 quickly, here's a clear case of the Pestilence if I ever saw one!"

Not allowed to give anything with artificial sweeteners to 999. Poor little blob had a horrible stomachache after the infamous episode with the sugar-free gummy bears. Incidentally, the cleaning bill is coming out of your pay.

Not allowed to suggest anomalies to "reeducate" or "reclassify". We know how you'd prefer to classify 682, but it can't be done. And a more intelligent person would stop trying.

Not allowed to smile at staff or anomalies "in a threatening way". Frankly, you're lucky Agent Markovich only gave you a black eye.

Not allowed to "menace" staff with that damned ukulele. But feel free to torture the Chaos Insurgency to your warped heart's delight; those guys are assholes who can not just eat a bag of dicks, but choke on them.

Speaking of bags of dicks... stop sending them to Doctor Bright. His entire desk is overladen with gummy genitalia.

Not allowed to suggest movies to Doctor Bright. The "SCP Fight Club" was your fault, a bad idea all round, and got much worse once 076-2 tagged in.

Not allowed to read bedtime stories to any children on site. We do NOT need another incident of " Where's My Cow?"

Not allowed to tell D-Class that 096 "just needs a hug" and "he's not so scary, just sing to him and you'll be fine".

Not allowed to suggest Site Spirit Day ideas. Yes, Daganronpa is a great series. But... no one wants to live in Hope's Peak Academy, if only for one day. And the Monokumas were just overdoing it.

Not allowed to follow Doctor Gears around with a music app set to "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. Doctor Gears is NOT a robot or any variant thereof.

Not allowed to cook for anyone. Seriously, those pancakes were so hard you could use them as clay pigeons, and somehow the bacon was so raw the pig didn't even notice it was missing yet.

No more gurney racing! We get more than enough injuries on site to begin with.

Not allowed to dress the anomalies. 173 may not have cared about the wig and dress, but we dare you to try it on 076-2 or 106 if you're THAT bored.

Not allowed to start sing-alongs. You know what you did.

Not allowed to barter, buy, sell, lease, or rent souls. How do you even rent a soul? Never mind, that's a rabbit hole best avoided.

Alcohol is not permitted on site. Even if Doctor Bright drives us to drink. Where did the vodka even come from?

Not allowed to request alcohol from 294. Just in case.

Not allowed to use his ukulele as a melee weapon. Just play it, whomever is attacking will surrender instead of hearing that.

Not allowed to create improvised explosives. Kung Pao Chicken does NOT require gunpowder. How did you even turn a live chicken into a clucking grenade?

Not allowed to practice horticulture. Combustible lemons were bad enough, but making them insult you as they hit you is a bit much.

Not allowed to "decommission" anomalies without authorization from above. Doctor Bright does not count. Doctor Gears does count, but he's not likely to agree.

Not allowed to refer to new hires as "fresh meat for the grinder". First... creepy much, Alto? Second, it's just cruel.

No more than 75 kills per day. Sorry, but in this economy ANY help is hard to find, especially good help.

Not allowed to feed the anomalies marijuana brownies. We don't even know how 073 was even able to eat it due to his properties. But seeing 682 stoned was funny. Who knew the big nearly undead bastard had a plethora of dad jokes? Not the three D-Class who nearly died laughing. Still, don't do it again.

For the last damn time... 714 is NOT a Green Lantern Power Ring, we have no such item, there is no Power Battery hidden in the Keter Wing, and you should stop telling staff and D-Class this. We're losing 6 people a day to this nonsense.

Not allowed to refer to his exploding poultry as "chicken riggies", no matter how humorous it may be.

Not allowed to go "undercover" in the women's restrooms, showers, or lockerrooms on site. No, not even for "research". Especially not for THAT kind of "research". Get a RealDoll, Alto!

Not allowed to encourage Doctor Bright in his shenanigans. Does Jack Bright really need encouragement like that?

Not allowed to perform unauthorized tests on staff or anomalies. Putting a "Free Hugs" sign on 049's back was not funny, and if 049 hadn't noticed who knows what would happen.

Not allowed to point at staff in hazmat gear and chant "Unclean. Unclean." Especially not around 049.

"More shotguns" will not solve all problems. Stop suggesting it.

There will NEVER be a "Dress Like a Ninja" day here. Stop trying to make it happen.

Not allowed to "rent" out his services as a "divorce mediator". No one needs your kind of mediation.

No stalking the staff. Period. No, not even if they're a suspected security risk.

If it's on the Bright List, don't. And stop suggesting new ideas to him.

There are no maps for the Wanderer's Library. Please stop selling them.

Jello shots do not typically involve firearms.

Stop referring to Bright Duty as "Witless Protection".

Not allowed to show episodes of "The Twilight Zone" to anomalies. Ferdinand is still looking for that damned cookbook.