#Sorry a bit of a rant um Im Fine i suppose i just feel really emotional over having to explain my disability over and over and over.and +

[cconfusedkat]

Ok so um. Eventful first day. I have a blended schedule so i have short school days

Everyone is chill in algebra 1 nd academic literature ,,

History and english arw gonna be a bit of a problem cuz the 16-18 yr old boys are. Yknow. Probably gonna annoy me to death

And uhh homeroom is just homeroom

I masked really hard though nd came home sobbing just cuz im not gonna be used to masking again in a school setting,,

[courtlyharlequin]

Hey!! I was wondering if i can have a candied rose frappuccino with floyd please. Thanks 😊

Sugar Addict

Warning(s): mild spice, lowkey spicy ending

A/N: I went feral. What is plot? I ended up writing more than expected. Also, I was too lazy to proofread so I apologize for my horrible grammar. Feel free to correct me! I should probably get a beta reader... 

Context: This is an AU. Yes, a coffeeshop AU, but some things are different. These characters are aged up and NRC is actually a college.

It was unexplainable, this feeling. Twilight. The sun was setting. Traffic ensued streets as people poured out of work and into their vehicles, all with one destination: home. But for you, home was the last place you wanted to go. You were a student who did not need to fret over something like a job. You had the convenience of asking for a ride or traveling by foot to reach local destinations not far from your oh so prestigious school. At this moment, at twilight, you were experiencing the convenience of the latter. Well, a normal person would not call it a convenience. These days made taking a stroll an absurd pastime. But right now, it was both a convenience and a pastime. The roads were clogged by a massive sea of cars. Your nose crinkled at the stench of gasoline. Choosing to traverse by foot was more pragmatic. You were in a rush as well. Your destination might close any minute now!

From the inside of any of the vehicles on the street, you were akin to a hooligan. A scrambling, mad hooligan. Not only were you running in the opposite direction of where these cars were going, you were also running as your life depended on it. Therefore, you were a crazy person who was running into the city suburbs at a somewhat late hour rather than going home. Mothers in said vehicles shook their heads in dismay, praying their children were safe at home. But, you could not care any less. Night Raven College’s headmaster was very lenient on curfews and was susceptible to bribery if all else fails. But to be fair, your destination was not something to be frowned upon. It was something to laugh at, really. The place you were so desperate to get to was none other than a café.

More specifically, Café Rosé . Cheesy, chessy, yes, you were aware. The café was notorious for their supposed love potion of a latte, but you weren’t coming for that. You wanted to try their Candied Rose Frappuccino. You were a lover of all sweets; You could never live with yourself if you didn’t try it. Of course, this coffee shop was not going anywhere nor was this beverage a limited one. You simply were in the mood for it. It was craving, a whim, a last minute decision.

You sighed heavily, leaning against the café’s exterior walls. With one deep breath, you pushed the rose-tinted glass door open. The chime signaled your entrance. You braced yourself for a  barista to question your hazed, flushed state… but it never came. Still heaving, you scanned the shop. You made your way to the counter to check for employees in the back room.

Thud!

“Hey, Shrimpy! Café’s closed,” a voice glowered.

You spun your heel, making eye contact with a barista with a disheveled appearance– his aquamarine hair was slightly unkempt, his tie was unraveled and dangled loosely around his neck, dress shirt unbuttoned down to the point where his collar bone was exposed with his sleeves rolled up which furthermore accentuated his lean yet muscular figure. It was all too much to take in. He put his weight onto the nearest table. Ah, the thud came from a chair he just stacked… but nevermind that-!! The moment he moved into that position, he exposed a bit of his cleavage. Hot damn he might be lean at first glance, but he was built like a Greek god. This should be illegal! A barista should not be dressing– let alone be looking– like that. Everyone would suffer from a cardiac arrest from such a heartthrob! You quickly averted your attention to the café’s schedule.

“The business hours sign says you guys close at seven. It’s six fifty-two right now,” you said, holding up your phone.

“Close enough. Get lost.”

He walked over to you suavely, leaning over you and against the door frame to flip the open-closed sign over so that it’s closed side faced the streets. It was meant to be a gesture of mockery and intimidation, but holy hell… you were flustered more than anything. He was tall from afar but up close he was huge!! You even got a better look at his chest. Well defined, if you don’t say so yourself. Wait–

You shoved him back, “Not even for a to-go order?”

“Nope. Don’t feel like it.”

“But you’re not closed yet!”

“But I don’t wanna,” he whined.

“Why?”

“What?”

“I asked you ‘why’?”

“Can’t you just come back tomorrow and let me call it a day? I’m tired.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“I ran all the way here just to get something–”

“Should’ve done it earlier,” he shrugged, returning to his chore.

“Okay. Fine. Is there anyone else here to serve me? Since you’re too ‘tired’?”

“Sorry, Shrimpy, but they all went home.”

“Ugh! Don’t call me something that makes us seem so familiar. I’m not that short anyway...” you huffed.

He snickered, walking behind the register, “Alright then, Shr-im-p-y~! What would you like to order that you just had to come in at the last minute today?”

While you were relieved he gave into serving you a drink, the way he enunciated your unwanted nickname was irksome.

“I’ll have one Candied Rose Frappuccino.”

“Oh thank god it isn’t that latte.”

“You mean the Rosé Latte?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, loudly tapping on the cash register, “Everyone has been flocking here and only ordering that. I’m so tired of making the same order everyday.”

“Sorry, I’m not into hot beverages. Just a person who likes sweets.”

“Cute,” he cooed, handing you your receipt.

You watched as he messily wrote “Shrimpy” onto your cup.

“Can I get your name?” you asked.

“My name?”

“Yeah.”

“What for?”

“Somehow you’re slowly becoming my favorite barista.”

Partially a lie, partially the truth. He was your favorite because he was so fine. You only wanted his name in case you ever decided to write a review on your bitter first meeting with him or if you came across the manager. Petty, yes, but it annoyed you that much.

“Floyd, Floyd Leech,” he grinned.

You checked the receipt and sat down at the barstools in front of the barista’s worktable, watching him intently as he began to work on your order. Well, half your attention was actually on his hand movements. Your mind was having an internal battle about how shameful you were to fantasize about his back muscles, mentally undressing him. The fact that there were only you two in the coffeehouse did not help either. The silence, at its surface, was calming, but, at its core, it was awkward. With the occasional clinks of utensils and the sound of coffee being brewed and blended into a frappuccino,  the lack of noise left your mind to wander.

“Just because he’s good looking does not make up for the fact that he was rude,” you chided yourself.

Floyd cocked his head: “Hey. What are you staring at?”  

He looked behind him as if there was actually something of interest. You saw your drink in his hand. He held it close to his chest, withholding it, waiting for your answer.

“Oh? Um.. nothing? I was just zoning out. I’m tired from running all the way here.”

“Shrimpy’s no fun,” he pouted.

“My name is (y/n), not Shrimpy.”

“You’re short, jumpy, and huggable like a shrimp~”

“I am not that short!”

“Oh-!!! You remind me of Goldfish. You both get so mad for some reason,” he laughed.

“Listen here–”

The barista took a swig of your order. He didn’t take the dome-shaped lid out. He didn’t even drink it with a straw. He just… straight up… put his lips on the lid and drank the contents from the rim. You halted your rant, appalled by his audacity.

“You talk too much, Shrimpy.”

In this total silence, someone, if there were someone here, would have heard your sanity and patience snapped.

“Listen here, Floyd Leech. That was awfully rude of you. Actually, from the beginning, you were so rude! From getting into my personal bubble to calling me names when I told you to stop. And now you drink my order? And right in front of me too?! So, so, rude-!!! I just–”

“Wow. What an expansive vocabulary you have,” he glared, twiddling with the collar of his shirt and somehow exposing more of his collarbone.

You leaned over the counter, reaching for your beverage, heat traveling up your cheeks, “I’m not done yet! Just because you’re hot does not mean you can dress like that and automatically get a free pass to do these things! Do you have any idea how distracting that was?? Now–wHAAA!!”

You pounced at him. Your toes hung on the edge of the barstool, your left arm wrapped around Floyd’s neck, and your right arm stretched out in an attempt to reach the drink in Floyd’s hand. Much to your annoyance, he raised it higher than you could ever hope to reach. If he took anymore steps back, you would most likely flop onto the barista’s side of the table face-first. With the drink in his left hand, his weight (and yours) was shifted onto his right arm which conveniently propped itself against the countertop behind him. You wondered what people on the road thought when they saw what was going on inside the café.

It was early evening with a decent amount of cars on the street before the storefront. Nearly twenty minutes since you came into the café and here you are– without your order, curfew approaching steadily, and no sign of getting your frappuccino anytime soon. Instead, you were sprawled across the counter, a test of your flexibility and modesty.

“I didn’t really think Shrimpy was this bold, this naughty,” Floyd chuckled.

Ah shit. Your anger got the best of you. Your verbal filter was removed and all of your thoughts slipped past your conscious and common sense. His sly grin did not help at all. Your close proximity enhanced your blush. The way you clung onto him caused his shirt to slide off his left shoulder and with the position you were in, you had a front seat to all his glory. What a sticky wicket this was.

“I just wanted something sweet to drink,” you panted, fisting his shirt in your petite palms, frustration washing over you.

You were on the verge of tears. Floyd sighed, lowering the cup just a bit, and took a few steps back as he carefully let you slide onto the barista’s side of the counter. However, your beverage was still out of reach.

“You’re such a snowflake,” he mumbled.

You clung to him, still, using him as leverage to reach your order, “Am not. This wouldn’t have happened if you just let me have my coffee!”

“You mean this hell of a sugary confection??”

“Yes? I mean I wouldn’t know because I haven’t even tried it yet,” you grunted, jumping at it like a fish trying to catch the bait.

“Oi, (y/n), can I kiss you?”

That was the first time he used your actual name instead of “Shrimpy” ever since you met. You would rejoice, but the following words were out of the question. His tone made it sound more like a demand than a request of consent.

“Excuse me?!”

“You wanted to try the drink right?”

“Yes, but it’s right there in your hand! So if you would just let me have it, I’ll stop annoying you!”

“The taste is lingering in my mouth. It’s so sweet. I wanna get rid of it…”

“Get some water.”

He squeezed his right arm around your waist, bringing you closer to his face,  “But I want to kiss you~!”

“Well, since you drank out of it, if you let me have it, then we can have an indirect kiss!”

The temperature of the coffee shop was just unbearable at this point. And worst of all, this was self-inflicted. You didn’t have to tolerate him. Frankly, you should have left the moment he told you the café was “closed”.  You didn’t have to pounce on him and end up in this painstakingly uncomfortable position either. Moreover, you were sweating from embarrassment from your suggestion. An indirect kiss! That was such a childish thing to fret about and here you were, regretting your own words.

“That’s no fun,” Floyd said, taking another sip of your frappuccino.

“Hey–mmpff!!”

Despite how he manhandled you thus far, he kissed you very tenderly. His lips were soft, warm even. As much as you wanted to push him back and scold him for taking away something as precious as your first kiss, you couldn't. Everything just… felt right. Your grip on his shirt loosened. Before, you held them in your palms in anger, a way of intimidation, a sign to show him that you weren’t going to back down even if he was teasing you with no mercy. But now, you held Floyd’s collar to close the space between you two. You were this close to each other, but it wasn’t close enough.

You gasped as he nibbled your lip. Floyd took it upon himself to invite his tongue over to your wet cavern. A sugary substance flooded your taste buds. Ah… he never swallowed your drink.... Not that it mattered. You gulped it in one breath, continuing on with your tango of tongues. If Floyd wasn’t supporting your waist, you might’ve melted away into this temporary bliss. You momentarily broke away from him to catch your breath. The distance between you two was barely five centimeters. He growled lowly, taking two steps forward, pushing you towards the bar. He smashed his lips against yours, a clear sign for you not to do that again. A fire lit in his eyes. Floyd hungrily bit your bottom lip, earning a whimper in response.  Without breaking away from your mouth, only turning his head to take you at a different angle, he hoisted you up and set you and the beverage down on the countertop. Now, with both hands free, he cupped your cheeks. You responded by wrapping your legs around his waist and grabbing his wrists, drawing away his hands.

“W-Wait…” you exhaled.

“...did you not like that?” he cocked his head.

“No... No… I liked it… I liked it a lot… I just… S-Slow down…”

Floyd reached for the ends of your hair, twirling with the strand, “Take your time…”

Perhaps it was purely the heat of the moment or lust, but you judged him too soon. In this brief period of time, he was being considerate of you.  He traced your figure with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear at your bruised lips, bright pink from the dozens of kisses he gave you. You were just as disheveled as he was.

“...More..”

“You sure?”

“I’m thirsty,” you pouted.

Floyd let out a chortle before sipping your coffee, “Alright, then Shrimpy.”

You prepared yourself for yet another rough session. Before he took your lips, he smoothed back his hair, revealing his forehead. The gesture caught you off guard thus you stiffened as he brushed his lips against yours. By gods, it was as if he wasn't even trying to be provocative. Was it possible for someone to be this seductive without actual effort? At this rate, you were going to miss curfew..

“Floyd…” you moaned, intertwining your fingers with his as he pushed you down onto the counter.

“I’ll be gentle, don’t worry...”

“Floyd… No… T-There’s people watching-!!!”

“So?”

“Does that not bother you?!”

“Not when they’ll know you’re mine~”

You sat up, “I’m a bit too shy for that. A-And I would like for my first time to be private…”

You left the last part trail off in embarrassment, fiddling with his necktie which somehow managed to stay on his person despite everything that just happened.

“Oh? Is Shrimpy a virgin?” he teased.

“So what if I am?!”

“Nothing. Just thought a cute Night Raven College girl like you wouldn’t be since you were really good~”

He earned himself a playful smack on the shoulder to which he responded with a sarcastically scoff. This was so unfair...

“How did you know that I went there?”

“Hmm must be because of the shirt you’re wearing underneath that hoodie,” he said, feigning innocence.

Oh. He’s the perceptive type. You didn’t think much of his ministrations (other than them being tantalizing). It seemed that he took note of every detail about you. At this point, you were crimson as a tomato.

“Also, because I go there as well,” he snickered.

You smacked his shoulder once more.

“I’ve never seen you before.”

“Different years, probably.”

“Maybe..”

“Also, I’m always stuck at the Mostro Lounge so you can find me there,” he winked.

“Ahhh! Stop doing that!”

“Doing what?”

“Giving me two answers and mixed signals.”

Floyd tilted your head upwards and pecked your lips, holding you as if you were a figure of glass: “What about this is mixed?”

“You were terribly rude before… and you probably just want someone to bed with for the night,” you puffed your cheeks.

How your body was betraying you… Your legs were still wrapped around his waist and the fervor was not going to dissipate anytime soon.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve had my eyes on you for a long time, (y/n).”

He raised your hand and pressed a chaste kiss on each individual knuckle.

Oh god. Your heart couldn’t bear it anymore. The way your name rolled off the tip of his tongue made honey taste like summer– hot, overwhelming, but still something to look forward to.

“Since when?” you exhaled.

“Since your first visit to the Lounge.”

He switched to your other hand, continuing the ritual.

“I’ve only been there once.”

“You were such a cute Shrimpy that I couldn’t forget about you~”

“That can’t be right–”

“You just have to accept it!”

“It doesn’t make up for how you treated me before.”

He placed your hands on his cheek, “Sorry, Shrimpy. The scent you released was too irresistible.”

Instinctively, you sniffed your clothes, “I don’t smell anything.”

“It might be just an eel thing*, then. But just so you know, I’ve been trying to find you for a while now. I’m so happy that I did. You’re mine now, Shrimpy. Your smell is intoxicating,” he cooed, leaning closer to your ear, “It makes me go feral~”

You squealed at his sudden remark, unable to regain your composure. Your words melted into gibberish and murmurs as you buried your face into his chest once more.

“You’re such a creep,” you whined.

“You don’t mean that~”

“I don’t…”

“We should get going before curfew though. Help me clean up, will ya?”

“Okay.”

Floyd planted a kiss on your forehead, “Thank you, Shrimpy.”

That nickname wasn’t as obnoxious as it was before, huh.

“I’ll reward you once we get to my room,” he snickered over his shoulder as he left for the back room.

Wait– WHAT?!?!?

“H-Hold on-!!”

“Relax, Shrimpy, ’m not gonna do anything to you… not yet, anyway. I’m just sayin’ in case we don’t make it before curfew.  Azul needs me for Mostro Lounge tomorrow, he has no choice, but to let me in. If anyone can convince the headmaster, it’s probably him,” he gave you a thumbs up.

“Good to know. But… I’ve been meaning to ask about Mostro Lounge and this café. If you work for Azul then why work here too?”

“He doesn’t pay me. I’m just helping out of obligation.”

“What? How come?”

“He’s my friend?”

“You sound unsure.”

“You made it sound like I’m gullible,” he laughed, stacking the last of the chairs.

“Well? Shall we go, Shrimpy?”

You took his hand without hesitation. This feeling– it was addicting. You only knew him for a less than a day, but it felt right. It felt meant to be... as if you were soulmates. 

Bonus:

“Oya? Floyd, what happened to your back? There’s scratches all over it. Are you alright?”

“ s’nothin’, Jade. I just… had a fun night~”

“Please. You and (y/n) were so loud. Please reserve those kinds of activities for somewhere more private– not a dormitory with thin walls,” Azul chided.

His brother’s eyes widened, but he didn’t question it any further. Jade curtly closed his gym locker and headed out towards the field.

Azul followed in suit with a huff. 

* Note: Female moray eels release an odor in order to attract males to mate with them

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[brelione]

In The End (The Best Boys)

Warnings:For the love of god everyones doing too much, yelling, not proof read

Series Masterlist

You took in a deep, shaky breath.Rafe bit his lip, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Lets go downstairs, okay?”He asked, large hand going to hold yours.You nodded, slowly sitting up with a slight pain in your abdomen.

He went into your closet to get you something loose and soft, helping you get dressed. “Im sure hes fine, alright?Dont worry.”He grinned, kissing the top of your head.The two of you sat anxiously on the couch, listening for Kelce’s car.

You jumped when you heard the car door slam, your door opening a few moments later.His breathing was fast and shallow, eyes wide and sweat dripping from his hairline and tears falling from his eyes.He didnt say anything, hands shaking as he stared back at you.Rafe’s hand was sitting on your thigh, almost trying to hold you back from going to Kelce.

You werent sure if the action was out of jealousy or if he was just worried about you trying to approach Kelce while he was in this state of mind.It didnt matter though.Once the slight shock had worn off you quickly made your way to Kelce, wrapping your arms tight around him.

He was shaking under your touch, a few of his tears falling into your hair as he leaned against you with his arms around your shoulders. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”You repeated, rubbing his back.He shook his head, squeezing you so hard that it hurt.

You looked over to Rafe, trying to figure out what had happened. “Im sorry.”Kelce sobbed, whistling sounds coming from his nose as he tried to take deep breaths.Your hand moved to run through his hair and rub the back of his neck, feeling him start to relax a bit

. “Kelce….what happened?”You asked, your thumb tracing over his cheekbone lightly.He didnt move away from you, squeezing you tighter.He could tell by the way you and Rafe kept looking at eachother that he was freaking you guys out and it didnt exactly help with how stressed he was.

 “I dont know what to do.”He cried, his nose starting to run.You didnt know what to do either, holding him and whispering into his ear.He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths, listening to you.It couldve been minutes or hours, you werent exactly sure but it didnt really matter.

Rafe was just confused, not understand how to help or what could have happened to make Kelce act like this.You eventually got him to stand up, holding your hand as you practically dragged him.He sat on your counter, hands shaking as you got him some water and squeezed lemon juice into it.

His eyes were puffy and red, eyebrows messed up and his nose was irritated.He was a mess.You werent sure if he’d be able to hold the cup on his own, putting it next to him for when he’d be able to. “You okay, little man?”You asked, offering him a towel to wipe his nose with.

He didnt answer but took the towel anyways, holding it to his nose.Rafe came into the kitchen, looking at Kelce with a puzzled expression.Kelce let his eyes fall to Rafe’s neck, letting out a low sigh.Topper was right. 

“I dont know what happened...I just got mad and I dont know.I think I blacked out...I dont know.”He muttered.Rafe nodded, understanding. “I was on the phone with Topper.And he-he said that uh….that he told you something.”He glanced over to Rafe, taking in a deep breath.

Your heart dropped into your stomach, looking over to Rafe too. “And he told me...that you and Rafe are dating.I dont know...it’s stupid.”Kelce muttered, looking down into his cup.You bit the inside of your cheek, not sure how what to say or if you should deny it or not.

 “Okay...um….okay.”You nodded, thinking about it.You hadnt considered Rafe your boyfriend, things hadnt really gotten that far yet when it came to feelings.Or maybe they had. “It doesnt matter...theres just so much happening and I got stressed and everything just happened so fast and I didnt know what to do.”He explained, squeezing the towel in his hand.

There was no way of getting out of this.Why did life have to be this way? “So um….whats the main problem here?”You asked, remembering how he’d ask you that when you had an anxiety attack.He squeezed the towel harder, wanting to scream. 

“Everything is the main problem!I cant-I cant just pretend anymore!Ive been pretending for years and I just cant-do you know how fucked all of this is?”He asked, the towel falling to the floor.On instinct Rafe had pulled you closer to him, not sure what was going to happen but was more than shocked when you moved away from him. 

“What do you mean you’ve been pretending?”You asked, not understanding what he was talking about.He laughed, his eyes watering again. “Havent you noticed?Four years, (Y/N)!Four fucking years i’ve been in love with you and you havent noticed and im trying my best to keep it from you cause its not your problem to deal with but its hard, okay?I’ve been trying to control myself and control everyone else and I know its fucked, alright?And then Rafe just takes you away and he knows too!And he’s known about Topper-thats so goddamn fucked!”Kelce exclaimed, standing up now.

He didnt even know what he was saying, ranting about all of his thoughts. “How are you so oblivious?How have you not seen the signs?dont you see how mad Topper gets when you’re all over Rafe?If you love Rafe thats fine but could you at least let us know so that we dont have that little bit of hope?Cant you just do that for me?”He asked, his breathing shallow.Rafe looked over at you too, waiting for you to reply.He knew he loved you.He had known for a long time that it was something more than a little crush.

Topper walked up your driveway, nearly losing his balance a few times on the way to your door that was open for some reason.He was glad that it was darker out so he didnt have to worry about wearing the ugly sunglasses his doctor told him to wear.

 “Guys?”He called out, hearing shouts from the kitchen.Rafe peaked out from the kitchen, frowning when he saw Topper. “What the hell is going on?”The blonde asked, coming into the kitchen.You looked over at him before looking back over to Kelce. “Topper-I think you were right.”Kelce replied quietly, looking at you.

 “Can you guys shut the hell up?”Rafe asked, becoming increasingly annoyed with the situation. “Kelce, man, I get what you’re trying to say but none of this is helpful, okay?”Rafe asked, surprising himself.This was usually Kelce’s job. 

“No, Rafe, it’s not okay.I cant just pretend that I dont feel the things I do anymore.I get that you dont have to hide it anymore and thats fucking fantastic for you but I dont want to hide it either, ight?”Kelce took in a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You felt Topper staring at you, regretting coming over here.He figured that he hadnt left things on the best note, wanting to come over and talk to you a little more since he was sure that he had freaked you out.

Somehow the four of you ended up on the floor, glancing at eachother as you all calmed down. “Rafe and I....we arent dating.”You spoke up, hoping that it wouldnt start another argument.

Rafe licked his lips, taking in a deep breath through his nose.He knew that it wasnt official but he hoped that you didnt see him as just a friend with benefits. 

“You dont have to date someone to love them, (Y/N).”Topper reminded you, his eyes trapped on his casted arm that rested in its black sling.You huffed, resting the back of your head on the cabinets.

 “I know, Top.I know....”You mumbled, tapping your fingertips on your kneecap. “Listen, im sorry for being a bitch.Its just...I dont know.I think I need to figure myself out.Between you guys and my parents I just bottle everything up.I shouldnt have blown up like that.”Kelce admitted, relieved when you reached over and squeezed his hand. 

“I get it, bubs.You know you can always talk to us, right?”You asked, wanting to hug him tightly and never let go but you figured it woul probably be awkward for him under these circumstances. 

“Yeah.”He replied, scratching at his eyebrow. “(Y/N)...you know we cant just forget that this conversation happened.We have to talk about this.”Topper spoke sternly, knowing that you would try to change the topic.Rafe nodded in agreement, wanting to know where he stood with you. 

“I know, I know.But....I dont think I know how I feel if im being honest.But if-when I do ill let you guys know, okay?”You asked, your heart pounding in your chest.You were such a liar.You werent supposed to lie to your bestfriends.

They all mumbled, shrugging.It wasnt exactly understandable but you assumed that it was a yes anyways, slowly standing up.Your legs were still partly tingling because of Rafe but you were just glad you could walk.

 “im going upstairs.You guys should just stay here for the night.”You told them, heading up to your bedroom quickly.You laid down on your bed, wishing that you had never slept with Rafe.Maybe that wouldnt make things so difficult for you right now.You couldnt imagine how upset you had made Rafe just a few moments ago.

“It doesnt matter if she ends up dating me, you know she cares about you guys more than anything else.”Rafe told them, biting the inside of his cheek.Topper chuckled, shaking his head. 

“You always get everything you want, Rafe.You get all her attention and even when I was in the hospital all she cared about was you.”He replied, glaring at his friend.Kelce groaned, resting his head against his palm. 

“We had to drag her out of the hospital, Topper.Literally.”He laid down on the tile floor, staring at the ceiling. “Come on, Kelce.She goes to you about everything.You know a whole side of her that we’ve never seen.That’s special.”Topper answered, wondering what kind of secrets Kelce knew that he didnt.Kelce’s eyes widened, sitting up again. 

“Wait-she doesnt tell you guys about our cooking talks?”Kelce asked.They shook their heads, chuckling. “Nope, might as well tell us about it.”Rafe grinned, excited to hear stories.Kelce smiled, feeling his face heat up.That meant it was his special thing that he had with you and noone else.

 “hmm...no.I’ll just keep it to myself.”Kelce answered, hearing them groan. “Wow, I see how it is.”Topper smiled.They sat on the floor talking for hours, eventually getting up and making a huge pot of ramen.

 “So what did you miss most while you were in the hospital?”Kelce asked, stirring the noodles. “Movie nights, one thousand percent.”He grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.

He thought about it constantly at night when you were asleep next to him on the hospital bed.He wondered what movies you’d all be watching together if he hadnt left the house that night.Rafe smiled, grabbing a fork.

 “We can have one of those now.I’ll go get (Y/N).”He turned to leave but was stopped by Kelce. “I’ll go.”He said quickly, not waiting for an answer before jogging upstairs.You had fallen asleep face down on your bed, snoring into the pillow.He stood in the doorway for a moment, listening to your breathing.

He sat at the foot of the bed, tapping your leg lightly. “Nooo....”You mumbled, moving your arms under the pillow to get more comfortable. “(Y/N), do you want some ramen?”Kelce asked, trying not to laugh. 

“hmmm....”You hummed into the pillow. “(Y/N).”He whispered again. “Whatttt?”You asked, voice muffled by the pillowcase. “Ramen.”He repeated, feeling you shift around. 

“What kind?”You asked, still half asleep. “Chicken with butter and garlic and fried egg.”He answered.You placed your head back on the pillow, thinking about it but slowly drifting into sleep again. 

“(Y/N).”He laughed, laying down to face you. “Yeah?”You asked, eyes squinting. “Ramen.”He repeated once more.You hummed, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”You answered. 

“You dont want ramen?”He asked, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “Yeah.”You answered, mouth slightly open as your face pressed against his shirt. “You want ramen?”He asked, scratching at your side.

 “Yeah.”You answered, your voice high pitched from sleep. “You gotta get up.”He told you, smiling to himself when your grip tightened. “No.”You answered, your leg falling across his stomach.

 “then you dont get ramen.”he answered. “Rude.”You grumbled, refusing to move off of him.He laughed, glad that you werent acting any different after everything that had happened.

He held on tight to you, rolling off the bed. “Put me down.”You yawned, wrapping your arms around him. “No.”He answered, walking down the stairs with you.The scent of ramen and garlic filled your nostrils, hearing a bowl being set down on the marble countertop.

Kelce put you down on one of the chairs, pushing a bowl of ramen in front of you.They were just poking at their noodies, swirling them onto their forks before letting it fall back into the bowl. 

“My mom called.”Topper blew on some noodles before shoving them in his mouth. “Shes mad about the car.She’s still in California.”He replied, getting another bite full. 

“At least you dont have to deal with her.”Rafe shrugged, looking for the brightside of things.Topper just hummed, staring into his bowl.None of you spoke after that, eating some ramen but not bothering to put the dishes in the sink. 

“Topper wanted to have a movie night.”Rafe mumbled, glancing over to Topper.You simply nodded, getting up and going into the living room.You curled yourself up into the corner of the couch, a pillow to your chest.

Kelce was on the other end of the couch, Topper on the floor next to him while Rafe sat not too far in front of you, reaching for the remote.Everything just felt so dead.

You wanted to reach out and play with Rafe’s hair or lean against Kelce but you knew not to for the sake of the others.You tried watching the movie, the volume low so that it wouldnt hurt Topper’s head.

It was some sort of dog movie from the early 2000s.Kelce was the first to fall asleep, snoring against the arm rest.Rafe was confused, not understanding what was going on.He was the second to fall asleep, face in the carpet not even half way through the movie. 

“Top, you awake?”You whispered, the movie in a dark scene right now. “Yeah, why?”He asked, looking over in your direction. “I dunno.You wanna talk?”You asked, keeping your voice quiet so you wouldnt bother Rafe or Kelce.Topper hummed, standing up slowly. 

“You wanna go outside?”He asked, already heading for the slider door.You followed him outside, hearing crickets and the sound of you pool.The two of you sat on the pavement by the water, staring at the lit up pool. 

“What do you want to talk about?”He asked, sticking his feet into the water.You just shrugged, not really knowing. “Do you wanna talk about earlier?”You asked, hoping that it wasnt too forward. 

“What about it?”He asked.You sighed, regretting bringing it up again. “I dont know, I just think we left off at a bad note.”You replied, sticking your hand in the water out of curiosity. “Yeah, yeah we did.But its either you love me or you dont, either is fine.”He replied, ignoring the pit in his stomach.

You remained silent, thinking. “Do you think its possible to love more than one person at a time?”You asked.His eyebrows raised at your words, blowing out a puff of air. 

“Well, its possible to hate more than one person at a time.Love and Hate are the same thing in the end.”He answered, kicking his feet back and forth under the surface of the water.

 “What does that mean?”You asked, not used to him saying things like that. “Well think about it.Love is just an extreme like and hate is just an extreme dislike.So if it was in a circle that means that hate and love touch.”He answered, dragging his fingernail against the pavement to make a small circle.

You nodded, flicking his finger. “So you think I can love more than one person at once?”You asked, wanting him to clarify.He nodded slowly. “I mean, you love Bucky and Henry Bowers and Jack Frost.Real people arent that different.We might be less attractive but not that different.”He answered, reaching for your hand. 

“Its okay if you havent figured things out yet, just let me know when you do.”He flashed you a grin that you could tell wasnt genuine. “But you know I love you no matter what, right?Like....even if I dont love you like that I still love you.”You told him, squeezing his hand lightly.

He nodded. “I know, bitch.”He laughed. “The only bitch here is you, bottom.”You replied, hoping he wouldnt push you into the water. “Last time I checked I wasnt a female dog.”He smiled, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. “What are you?12?”You asked.He nodded. “On the inside.”He replied.

Two chapters left-FUCK IM NOT READY

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[descendantofthesparrow]

Shuffle Playlist - Rewrite - Part of Your World - Harry Hook x Reader - Part 14 - Discoveries

=

Evie hung one of the last dresses on the transportation rack, when a knock sounded on her door. She pushed the dresses apart for her to step on the other side and called out; “come in!” Doug entered moments later, a smile on his face.

“Hey! How was the camping trip?” Evie turned to him with furrowed brows.

“C-Camping?” Doug's smile diminished and he looked at her slightly confused.

“yeah?” He tilted his head at Evie “Carlos and Jay said you and the others went on a last-minute camping trip to relax?...is-is that not what you did?” Evie sighed, the questions running through her mind stopping as she realized what had happened.

“oh, um, yeah they lied to you” Doug looked a bit offended “you see, Ben was kidnapped on the isle” now he looked alarmed “let me finish, we saved him and saved Auradon” Doug let out a small sigh of relief and took Evie's hands.

“is everyone okay?” Evie looked off to the side for a moment “you hesitated what happened” She grimaced and shook her head a bit.

“um, well…you know how our parents are kinda pieces of shit?” Doug looked surprised at the swear but nodded “well… Harry's dad is…kinda really bad and…that didn’t turn out well on Harry's side…that’s all I’m saying” she gave a small smile and turned, grabbing some of Dizzy’s accessories that she had brought back with her and sliding some on her arm to carry easier.

“Is he okay now?” Doug asked quietly, stepping to her side and leaning into her field of vision.

“yes” Evie assured him “Mal healed him when we left the isle and he’s with (y/n) now, he should be just fine for cotillion tomorrow~” Doug nodded and gave Evie a small smile.

“that’s good, you had me really worried for a moment there, was anyone else hurt?” Evie thought for a moment then shook her head.

“Mal has a cut on her cheek but that was the worst of our end thankfully.” She gave another smile and looked back down at the accessories “you know…while I was there…I realized something” Doug put his hand on her shoulder “I was lucky enough to be given a chance, and now I need to give someone else a chance too” her mind flashed back to five months ago when Harry had asked Ben to bring Uma over, and maybe after cotillion she could ask about Dizzy?

“My uncle bashful used the say that” Doug switched the topic, sensing Evie was not in the mood to talk about what had happened on the isle with him. Evie smiled, happy with the sudden change and turned to him, her brow raised a bit.

“did he?” Doug nodded, then pursed his lips a bit.

“but, really-really quietly” Evie laughed, spinning around to face the transportation rack and gesturing to it.

“come on, we have dresses to deliver~!” Doug happily obliged to her non-verbal request and moved to the rack, pushing it as Evie pulled it out of the room.

-

Two hours later, after every dress had been delivered, Evie returned to her room and grabbed her last two outfits she had to deliver.

A red rose gown and a red and black suit.

She handed the outfits to Doug and dug into her bag again, finding the red ruby earrings with small crossbones skulls hanging from the top. “perfect” she muttered, carefully holding them in her hand and leading Doug to (y/n)s room.

She knocked on the door, humming as a couple of moments passed by and no response came. She knocked again and sighed when again no response came, she gently opened the door and cooed as she looked inside the room.

On (y/n)s bed was her and Harry, curled up together under her many blankets as soft yellow fairy lights hung above them, the title screen of a movie playing on her tv.

Evie snuck into the room, gesturing Doug to be quiet as she set (y/n)s new earrings on her desk and motioned for Doug to hang hers and Harry's outfits on her closet door.

Evie spotted (y/n)s notepad on her desk and wrote out a small thank you note, pinning it to her corkboard that hung just next to her desk.

She ushered Doug out and turned, smiling at the sleeping couple, and slowly closed the door behind her, shushing it as it shut with a loud click.

“There we go” Evie sighed, turning to Doug and wrapping her arm around his “I’m starving, how about you?”

“Food sounds good” he chuckled, guiding Evie to the cafeteria.

-

Carlos watched from afar as Mal swung her feet just of the gazebo floor, her toes just grazing the cool lake water. He froze as she turned to look at him, her emerald green eyes softening and she invited him closer, turning back to the water as he did so and sat down beside her.

Mal laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, while she and Carlos hadn’t been friends before Auradon, she was glad that she had him by her side now.

“so…you broke up with Ben?” Carlos started, giving Mal a soft smile as she looked up at him. She slowly looked back down at the water as she thought of what to say.

“I…yeah” she sighed, letting her weight fully lean onto Carlos, who lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder. “I’m just…not ready for the relationship he wants…I know I hide my feelings and shit but…I really don’t know how he expected me to just, be good with all of this Auradon lady stuff within six months…I feel like a failure” Carlos let out a low hum, squeezing Mal's shoulder.

“well, you aren’t, you did your best, and your best was good enough, you just found out that that life…isn’t going to work out for you, it goes against your mental wiring, yes maybe you could adjust to it but would you be happy with it?” Mal pursed her lips, Carlos shook her a bit “well?”

“no” Mal muttered, picking at the loose thread on her pants “no I wouldn’t be happy like that…Ben…he said he wanted me…the real me, the isle me-wait…no he wouldn’t want her, she's rude as fuck” Mal smiled at the snort that erupted from Carlos, before it slipped off as she remembered something. Mal stopped Carlos as he was about to speak again “Hey…I did this for Evie but…I wanted to do the same for you” He looked at her confused “I’m sorry for the way I treated you when we were on the isle” he looked off to the side for a moment before he realized what she meant.

“oh! Yeah, it's no biggie” he attempted to brush it off but Mal adamantly shook her head.

“No! it's not “no biggie!” I treated you, Evie, and sometimes Jay, horribly! Even after we became friends! You were and are deserving of kindness, and I’m sorry that I was so fucked up that I was the rottenest little brat to you” Carlos stared at her with wide eyes. “what?”

His shocked look melted into a comforting grin “Thank you Mal” he wrapped his arms around her, pulling into a tight hug that only lasted a moment “sorry, just remembered; you’re not really affectionate” he laughed, grinning wider as Mal giggled along.

“it’s-its fine when it comes from you three” Mal hummed, turning to look back at the lake.

“sooo back to the Ben break up talk?” Carlos tried, smirking as Mal blew a raspberry “come on, you need to talk it out with someone, or else you’re gonna explode keeping it all bottled up.”

“…I’m happy I broke up with him” Mal spilled, not looking at Carlos as his brows shot up “I thought about our future and I realized if I kept doing what I was doing, and we kept going with how we were…neither of us would have been happy…I need to learn to love myself before I can love him properly, because…if (y/n)s forced quote an’ unquote therapy sessions” Carlos laughed at that “taught me anything. It’s that…I rely on someone else's love to measure my self-worth”

Carlos hummed, squeezing Mal's shoulder again “that’s not a good thing”

“no!” Mal huffed, running her hands through her hair and pulling at the roots “it isn’t! I've been trying to earn my mother's love for 16 years, then I just hop to doing so much bullshit to make sure Ben will love me! I dyed my hair blonde, I dressed in those itchy dresses, I dropped my entire personality for all that! And-and it wasn’t good, I felt like I was slipping away Carlos” Mal sobbed, tears trailing down her cheeks as she finally broke “I don’t even remember what I’m supposed to act like without all that because I spent so long doing it I just-I forgot what being ME felt like” Carlos fully wrapped his arms around Mal and pulled her tight to his side.  “I-I know it sounds like I’m being pathetic and having a fucking pity party but I’m just so fucking scared Carlos” Mal whimpered, throwing her arms around Carlos’ torso and pushing her cheek against his shoulder “on the isle my life was commanded by my mother and my identity was pleasing her, and here my life has been being Ben’s girlfriend and pleasing the people of Auradon so they think I’m not some villain whose just after Ben because he’s king…I-I do really like Ben Carlos”

Mal sniffed, pulling back one of her arms and wipe her nose “I do, it's just that…being with him hasn’t helped me move on from my mother bullshit and im-gah!” Mal let out a yell, pulling back from Carlos and burying her face in her hands “I’m having a fucking identity crisis because of my fucking mother! Why can’t she just leave me alone! Why can't all this dumb shit be left behind five months ago! Why do I still have to deal with it?!” Carlos let Mal rant, rubbing her back as she broke down.

“because life is unfair that way” Carlos sighed “Mal I know exactly what you're dealing with right now” Mal peeked out from her fingers, her eyes shining “I still have nightmares from living in my mother’s closet, getting trapped in the bear traps on the ground, or when she would burn me with her cigarette…even ones were she sends dogs at me to kill me…I still hear her voice in my head, telling me I’m worthless, that I’ll never be better than dog chow, my only use was being her servant” Carlos swallowed down the lump in his throat “but I know she's wrong, I’m not anything she says. I’m a tech genius, I've made several computers on the isle just from scraps, I've enhanced my 3D printer to be the best in Auradon, faster than any other and the quality is still top-notch, I've made a tiny little device that was able to make a hole in the barrier, I've gotten offers to work for Tony fucking Stark!” Mal gasped, reaching forward to grab Carlos' shoulders in excitement.

“holy shit what!? When? How? Why?!” Carlos smiled, prying off her grip.

“I knew you all were distracted by something else, especially you, so I didn’t want to make you stressed by my stuff either, it was two months ago. I didn’t take the offer because I want to finish school, but the offer still stands when I graduate in two years” Mal grinned, but it turned to a pout as Carlos gave her a look “Now back to the original topic, I’m not letting you deviate from it, you need to let it all out”

Mal stared at him for a moment before shrugging “I…feel like I already did…Auradon is stressful, my mother is the base of all my mental shit, and I’m not ready to be in a relationship with the dude I love because until I can love myself and learn not to rely on others value of me as my own value I can't be with him in a way that won't hurt him” Carlos slowly grinned “what?” “you said you love Ben~” he teased, laughing as Mal turned red and smacked him.

“I did not!!” she screeched, yelping as Carlos half tackled her and pulled her into an arm lock “Let me go you heathen!”

“you love Ben~ you love Ben~” Carlos sang, laughing as she tried to smack at his face “Come on, pixie! Let's get you back to the dorms, I think you need a nap”

“Don’t call me pixie!”

“How bout gremlin?”

“Carlos!!”

-

Chad carefully pulled the 3D printed copy of the king's crown from the printer and pressed a kiss to the emblem on the front. “Finally,~” He walked over to the mirror that was installed in Jay's standing dresser and carefully perched the crown on his head, smiling as his full cotillion outfit came to light.

He looked like a king~

He tilted the crown down a bit and laughed, posing in the mirror “oh what's that? Why no Audrey, I haven’t chosen my queen yet~” He purred to the fake Audrey in his mind. He turned and started to walk away before spinning back around to pose again “why no Audrey-”

Suddenly his phone rang, and he turned, raising his brow as he walked over to his phone “who could be calling me?”

Caller ID - Audrey <3

Chad let out a high-pitched scream of excitement, dropping his phone to the floor as he gripped his head “ahhAH! Audrey!!!”

“chad!” Carlos groaned, glaring as the other dived to the floor for his phone, and shushed him “Chad! This is my room chad!”

Chad shushed him again, making Carlos roll his eyes. Chad hit the answer button on his phone “Audrey?”

“Hey Chad um, I’m kind of stuck in Sherwood forest, my tire went flat. Could, could you come help me?”

“yeah of course!” Chad covered the mic and turned back to Carlos “she got a flat tire in Sherwood forest and she wants me to come fix it~” Carlos squinted a bit and looked at Chad with an odd look.

“that’s six hours away”

Chad looked at him as if what he said wasn’t a long road trip. “Really? Only six?” he turned back to his phone and put it back to his ear “I’m gonna be there faster than I thought”

“Thanks Chad, I was going to come to cotilli-“ he pulled the phone away and pressed a kiss to the screen, hanging up on Audrey and starting to walk out the door when Carlos stopped him.

“Ah-My printer my crown” Carlos took the crown off Chad's head, who chuckled and gestured back from the printer to the crown before shrugging it off.

“I’m coming Audrey!” he ran down the halls towards his car, leaving a bewildered Carlos in his dorm.

“wow,” Carlos snorted, shaking his head and walking into the room, tossing the crown on Jay's bed. Carlos flopped down on his bed, Dude hopping up next to him moments later “these last two days have been crazy huh?”

“You can say that again” Dude snorted, halfway crawling on Carlos' chest and laying his head down “Nap time?”

“Nap time” Carlos chuckled, pulling his pillow over his face to block out the afternoon sun and sighed.

-end of part 14-

yep, part 14, we’re almost to Cotillion guys! also yep, Doug does not accuse Evie of cheating on him even though he had no reason to do so in the movie and he shows concern over Evie and her friends safety when she tells him about the isle~ what?? no~ this isn't a dig at Doug's awful D2 writing!! how could you accuse me of such a thing~! (Doug had alot of potential but like Mal it got ruined in the second movie and he was pushed as a full on background character in the third) also MORE CARLOS CONTENT~ yes he is smart boi and deserves that recognition and yes, the avengers exist in this universe. hopefully that Mal talk didnt sound like a pity party. 

anyway PERMTAGLLIST

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taglist

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[amandawritez]

Mistake

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Word count: 2806

Warnings: fighting (kind of), cursing, mentions of abuse. This is angsty as hell I apologize in advance but there is fluff at the end if you squint

Summary: When JJ starts spiraling and putting his friends in danger you have to give him an ultimatum 

Your hands were shaking as JJ pulled up to Barry’s house, and everyone sat in confusion as JJ got out of the van and began to storm inside. You could hear their voices as they spoke but you were so shook up over what just happened that everything being said was going straight over your head. 

“Someone should probably go talk to him.” you heard Kie say and everyone’s heads turned to face you but you continued to stare blankly at the floor of the van unable to move, you felt like your body was glued to the seat. 

“Yeah, I got it.” John B stated once he realized that you weren't getting up. 

It was silent in the van and the only noise to be heard was the shuffling inside from JJ ransacking the house and John B attempting to calm him down. After a few minutes you shakily stood up and began to walk towards the house, figuring John B wasn’t really going to able to calm JJ down, usually when JJ spiraled like this you were the only one he would listen to. Just the sound of your voice could snap him out of his fit. 

You stood on the porch thinking for a moment until JJ stepped outside and saw you. He froze for a second and you looked at the bag in his hand. 

“JJ what's that.” your voice was so little that you thought maybe he hadn’t heard you. 

“It’s revenge, they mess with us and we get even.” He stated calmly. He began to walk past you but you stepped infront of him blocking his path causing him to huff in annoyance knowing you were going to try and talk him out of it. 

“JJ you can’t just steal from a drug dealer this isn’t a joke, he's dangerous and now you're putting everyone else in danger too, not just yourself.” you said. 

“(Y/n) he stole the gold from us, he pointed a fucking gun at you and we’re just supposed to let him get away with it? Aren’t you tired of being walked on?” he asked now looking you dead in the eyes. 

“JJ that's not the point, the point is you can’t keep doing shit like this. You’re spiraling and you’re gonna get other people hurt.” you began to get angrier raising your voice slightly. JJ just rolled his eyes and stepped around you walking off the porch and completely ignoring your rant. 

“Alright, so we’re looking at five grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit.” He said as he stepped into the yard. John B walked outside and down the steps but you continued to stand on the porch feet glued to the ground and arms crossed staring straight ahead. You listened as the group all at once began to questions JJ’s actions, telling him this isn’t a good idea and you could tell he was getting angrier as everyone reprimanded him. You heard some commotion and turned around to see JJ shoving John B against the van. 

You joined the others in the yard and watched as JJ stepped into the van and sit down as if waiting for the others to join him so they could leave. Once he realized no one was going with him if he was going to steal the money he huffed and stepped out of the van. You listened as the group told JJ that they were tired of his reckless shit and that he needed to stop. When JJ announced that he was just going to go by himself if no one wanted the money your eyes began to well up with tears, threatening to spill at any moment. 

When he started walking away Pope began to go after him but John B stopped him and Sarah said to just let him go, but you didn’t want to just let him go you knew he needed a wake up call. 

“JJ.” you spoke quietly but you knew he heard you because he stopped walking but continued to stare forward refusing to turn around and look at you. “If you take that money we’re done.” You spoke a bit louder now making sure he heard you and hoping he would turn around and change his mind. 

But he didn’t. Instead he stared forward for a moment and then said one word, “Fine.” He didn’t bother turning around because he knew looking at you would break him so instead he continued marching forward leaving everyone behind. As silent tears rolled down your face Sarah Pulled you into a hug and Kie joined her a moment later. 

--------

Later that night you sat alone in your room staring aimlessly at the ceiling thinking about the events of the day. After JJ left John B dropped everyone off at their homes, Kie offered to stay with you since she knew you were upset but you insisted on wanting to be alone. You showered and ate silently, you felt dull you couldn’t believe that JJ would do that, that he would just give up on your relationship at the drop of a pin. Your attempts to not cry failed as you pulled your legs up to your chest and decided to just let the tears flow as you dropped your head down and rested your forehead on the tops of your knees. You were broken from your thoughts as you heard a light knock on your door, you quickly wiped your tears and figured it was just your younger sister asking to borrow clothes or something. “Come in.” you said and your voice cracked slightly. The door opened and it was Pope and Kie asking to come in, you nodded and they stepped in the room quietly shutting the door behind them. 

Kie sat next to you and Pope on the end of your bed. “Are you okay?” Pope asked and Kie glared at him, her face asking why the fuck he would say that. 

“I’m fine, I’m good.” You said quietly and gave a weak smile in an attempt to make it believable but they both knew you were lying. Kie pulled you into a hug and rubbed the top of your head causing your eyes to water again so you pulled away not wanting to cry. 

“So, what's up.” you asked plainly and Pope and Kie exchanged looks as if wondering if they should tell you something. 

“We were uh gonna go see JJ, see if we could talk some sense into him and make sure he’s okay after earlier but we wanted to check on you first ya know make sure you were okay too, and see if maybe you would come talk to him too? If not its okay we totally get it I mean you guys got into it pretty bad today, er sorry I shouldn't have said that, I mean I know you guys broke up and all but um-” Kie lightly slapped Popes arm and looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Pope are you dumb you can’t say shit like that she's still sad.” You laughed lightly at the interaction, Pope wasn’t the best with words when someone was upset. 

“I’m right here, and I’m fine guys really. JJ made his decision and if he was willing to throw away our whole relationship that easily then it wasn’t meant to be.” your voice got quiet at the end, you knew you didn't mean what you were saying but you had to at least try. Kie shook her head and said 

“No (y/n) you know that's not true, JJ loves you so much you know he was just upset he made a mistake I’m sure he's a wreck right now trying to figure out how to fix things, you know he loves you.” and Pope nodded in agreement. You wanted to argue but you knew she was right, but you just weren’t ready to see him yet. 

“I don’t know, I just don’t think I’m ready to go over there and forgive him yet plus I tried to talk sense into him earlier and we all saw how that went.” Kie looked at you sadly and Pope looked like he was practically begging you to come because he knew they wouldn't be able to help JJ like you could. 

You thought about it for a moment and decided that maybe you should go talk to JJ, the longer you waited could make things worse. “Fine, I’ll go.” Kie jumped off the bed  and clasped her hands together excitedly, Pope stood up too ready to go, “But,” you said and Kie dropped her hands and her face fell from its smile. “You guys have to go in first, go talk to him and is he's still acting like he was earlier then I’m not going in, I don't need to get hurt all over again because JJ is still being a dick. If you think he's fine and he will want to talk to me then I’ll come in after.” You said and Kie groaned but nodded and said that was understandable. 

As the truck pulled up you were beyond nervous, your hands began to shake again and your breathing started gettin heavier. “Hey, its gonna be fine,” Kie stated placing her hand on your knee reassuringly “I promise we’re gonna get in there and JJ is gonna be back to his usual self, I’m sure he realized he's made a mistake.” Pope and Kie got our of the truck talking about the plan to get the gold out of the well when all of the sudden the sound of a generator whirring to life was heard and the entire backyard suddenly lit up. You looked at Pope and Kie wondering if maybe they had knew about this and it was set up but they looked just as confused as you did. They said that they were gonna go check it out and that one of them would come back to get you after they talked to JJ.

You sat alone on the tailgate of the truck wondering what was taking so long, maybe JJ was doing something stupid again. You scoffed and rolled your eyes imagining what JJ could have done now, and your curiosity got the best of you so you decided to just go find out for yourself, you were tired of waiting. As you walked in the backyard you could see lights hung up everywhere and as you rounded the corner to see what was going on you froze in your tracks. The sight infant of you was enough to make your jaw drop slightly and your legs feel like jelly underneath you, it felt like someone had punched you in the chest. JJ stood in the middle of a hot tub, Champagne glasses floating around the water and a champagne bottle in his hand. But it wasn’t the hot tub or the lights or even the generator that shocked you, it was JJ, more like what happened to JJ. His chest and face were littered with Dark purple bruises, bigger ones on his stomach, and his lip was split open. Who could have done this to him.

“JJ.” you finally spoke up, all three of their heads turned to you, Pope and Kie’s worrisome expressions and JJ’s drunken smile. 

“(Y/n) im so glad you could make it, come on get in it feels great! Oh get this, I named her the Cat’s ass how funny is that.” JJ laughed at himself and waved his hand in a come here motion. 

“JJ w-what happened to you, who did this to you.” you asked, your voice cracked and you knew you were going to cry for the hundredth time today. You slowly stepped forward and began walking up to the hot tub. “JJ..” you said lightly you looked his bruises again, one silent tear fell down your face. 

“No stop being emotional, it’s fine okay-” his voice began cracking and you could tell he was about to cry so you walked up and stepped over the ledge to get in, not caring about your shoes or clothes because right now they didn’t matter, JJ was the most important thing. You wrapped your arms around JJ as he began to break down, and you petted his head lightly as he sobbed “I can't take him anymore.” He cried and pulled your body tightly into his as if he let go you might disappear into thin air. you rubbed his back and felt Kie and Pope stepping into the hot tub too and wrapping their arms around both of you. You whispered in JJ’s ear attempting to calm him down and slowly his sobs became less heavy and his breathing began to even out, he knew he was safe here with his real family. 

You all pulled away after a few minutes and you took the champagne bottle out of JJ’s hand and set it on the edge of the hot tub, slipping your hand into his you began to pull him out of the hot tub “Come on bub, lets get you inside and cleaned up we can take a shower and I'll cook you something.” you said and he nodded slightly following you out. Pope and Kie got out too and knew that it was best to let you handle this, Kie saying she would call you later. 

After taking JJ inside you suggested that he showered and you’d cook some Mac and cheese for him, he silently nodded, too scared to talk worried that his voice may betray him and cause him to cry again. After his shower you two ate in silence, you had no idea what to say you just knew you needed to be there for him. You finally spoke up when he was finished eating, “JJ, can I clean you up? I-I have some stuff I can put on your cut and bruises that will help them to heal better.” You stood next to him and held out your hand which he gladly took and let you lead him to the bathroom.

He sat on the counter while you got out the cream for him and tended to his bruises. You were so gentle with him terrified that if you touched him the wrong way he might just break, as if he was made glass. You weren’t sure if he was going to speak at all until he finally broke the silence, “I'm sorry” he said and you looked up at him confused 

“Why are you apologizing you did nothing wrong.” 

“I’m sorry for earlier at Barry’s I was being reckless and I hurt you, I’m so sorry I walked away i-it was mistake.” he stumbled over his words, scared that he may cry more. You finished up cleaning him and stood up so you were face to face with him now. 

“JJ it’s okay I understand I’m sorry I even gave you an ultimatum, it was selfish and horrible.” 

“No you did the right thing, you don't want to be with a guy like me, I don’t deserve you. I’m reckless and immature and I’m such a piece of shit.. my dad was right.” He began to cry and you placed your hands on the side of his face lifting it so he had to look at you. 

“JJ , no baby you're not a piece of shit you're the best thing that’s every happened to me, nothing your dad ever says about you is true, you are kind and passionate, and I love you, okay, we all love you JJ please don’t ever think you are any of those things your dad said.” You wrapped your arms around him and carefully pulled him into a hug not wanting to hurt him and he held onto you tightly crying into your shoulder. 

He finally pulled away and wiped his eyes, “So you’re not breaking up with me.” He asked quietly, terrified that you might say yes. 

“No baby I’m not breaking up with you I would never do that, okay I love you so much and I’m so sorry for saying that earlier.” he was so glad to hear that  and he put his hands on the side of your face and pulled you in for a soft kiss, being careful not to hurt his lip. You pulled away and wrapped your arms around his waist and placed your head on his chest listening to his heart beat, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and rested his chin in your head. And you guys sat like that for a while, while JJ thought about how much he loved you and he knew that you were the best thing that had ever happened to him too.

--------

A/N: someone get the tissues I am EMO rn. I’m so sorry that was so long and honestly angsty as hell :( but I hope you liked it my inbox is open so send me shiz :) 

[grimbeak]

How Pirate Jay Au Jay deal with the rest of the seasons 

DotD: 

*I haven’t watched this ep in 4+ years so Im just gonna focus on the bruise at the end

*Very happy that his bf is no longer a ghost! Now he can give surprise hugs without faceplanting on the floor! (Kai comments that they’re ‘going to be even worse now’)

*Oh yeah and he’s happy to see Morro bc that happens ig 

S7:

*Spends most of it having literally no idea what’s going on

*Acronix tries to manipulate him ab his mom and Jay’s like ‘bitch stfu’ so it doesn’t rly work out

*He honestly doesn’t care ab the fact that Wu’s dying all that much bc he’s only known him for a few months (and he’s still a bit upset about the whole ‘banishing my mom instead of trying to talk to her’ thing)

*He doesn’t have Ed n Edna to worry ab so he just fucks around a bit before going ‘fuck it’ and grabbing the timeblade before anyone else can get to it

*he didn’t have a vehicle he just ran

*pirate coat flowing in the wind 

*Anyway Kai eventually rants to him ab his parents being supposedly evil and jay’s like ‘oh no,,,, how awful that must be for you,,, can’t relate,,,, at all,,,’ which earns him a smack on the head

*Ray and Maya see this new lightning master and are like ‘um is no one else concerned about this’ 

S8:

*Jay searched for Wu for a year (despite not givin a fuck lmao) purely to spend a year with his boyf. That was the only reason. 

*He is freak tF out by Lloyd’s voice change:

‘WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM’ 

‘he’s fine it’s just puberty- you literally went through this jay’

‘NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTIONS DON’T WORK PROPERLY IN THE CURSED REALM MY VOICE NEVER CHANGED BITCH’

‘is that why you’re still so short’

‘FUCK OFF I NEED TO EAT MORE APPARENLY’

*Harumi is just unimpressed with him her description of him is smthn like ‘the pirate ninja who has no self control’ 

*He instantly knows she’s the traitor but no one really listens to him

*He laughs at them when they figure out he was right

*Jay gets a very quick rundown of what happened with Garmadon and is no longer laughing 

*uhhh canon events happen ig

S9:

*Yeah pretty much canon events as well except for the fact that Jay is freaKING OUT about the fact that there are DRAGONS

‘jay we can make magical dragons’

‘YEAH BUT THEY’RE MADE OF ENERGY AND OUR OWN EMOTIONS THESE ONES ARE NOT’ 

*He still loses it for a bit but instead of him just giving up completely it’s more like he’s drunk

S10:

*No proposin yet because they’re literal children and also shits goin DOWN

*goin down like cole

*sorry

*They have to physically restrain Jay from jumping down after Cole when he falls

*when kai re-makes the golden weapons jay’s kinda like ‘ohhh so that’s what the nunchucks looked like b4 you guys melted them cool cool’ 

*Cole’s back!! Jay’s happy!! Everyone wins!! 

*no one wins bcuz Lloyd’s dead. When he comes back Jay offers him an invite to the club of ‘we died but not anymore’. Zane and Jay were previously the only members. 

S11:

*uhhh what happens in this season again 

*nothing important so lets move on

S12:

(Pre-season 12, Jay gets an odd feeling, and finds Clutch Powers just about to open the teapot of tyrahn. He smacks him and goes ‘no’ before kicking it into the ocean. Ninjago city is safe once more.) 

*Nothing really changes except for the fact that he actually calls the cult that he made a cult and they only cause anarchy 

*Cole just points to where the crowds are running from and is like ‘jay’s over there’ 

*Also Jay has literally no idea what’s going on in this video game world bcuz like everything is just weird and he hasn’t really had time for games with all the heroing going on 

*Bruise happens n they dance

*Jay is horrible at dancing but they do it anyway

*Canon stuff (except Nya dies in the car with Kai for bruise reasons)

*Cole sacrificing himself at the end fuckin hurts bcuz last time Jay died in Cole’s arms,,, now it’s the opposite (sorta lmao) 

*At the confrontation with Unagami, Jay’s just like “look dude the people who were supposed to protect me threw my mom who was pregnant with me into the cursed realm without even giving me a chance to live, so let’s just both agree that our families suck and move on” and Unagami’s like “Sure that makes sense” 

*They bond over having no idea what anything is at any time

S13: 

*Jay is so proud of his boyfriend getting a season

*Jay please stop breaking the fourth wall I’m trying to write

*Vania tries to flirt with Cole, Jay responds by fuckin making out with him in front of everyone

*y e a h

*the queen tries to marry him and jay’s like ‘uh i have a bf’ and she’s like ‘not anymore’ and nya’s like ‘im his lesbian sister let me fight you for him’ and the queen’s like ‘do you wanna get married instead’ and nya’s like ‘uh no i have a gf too’ and the queen is like ‘well i can’t marry the green one he’s a minor’ and lloyd’s just so confused 

*Cole does his Thing with his new 3 poly uncles 

*Uh stuff happens

*

*

*Bruise

*No one’s really sure who the queen ended up marrying but they’re never going back there just in case

The Island:

*Jay likes his flower crown. He wears on the brim of his pirate hat.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

[minjoonalist]

Predilection | Chapter Two.

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 3.5k

Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff 

Warnings : explicit wording

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

———

“So how’d it go?” Your best friend slings his bag over the chair next you.

You were spending your last free day in the school’s library to finish up on some homework and you couldn't help but feel bummed out. Before you had made the depressing decision to cram every note you’d managed to take in the last few days, you finally made the wise decision to seek out your professor and request a new housing like Taehyung suggested.

Your head rises from the open notebook, eyes squinted and your hair tied up in a messy bun, because you hated when it fell on your face as you read. You felt extremely tired, no thanks to the lack of sleep you got from your sudden anxiety and Taehyung’s slightly worried expression told you that maybe you looked worse than you felt.

“Huh?” you rasped sitting up.

“ I said how did it go? Y’know, operation ‘get rid of fuck boy duo’ ?” He raises a hand to pull a stubborn strand of hair behind your ear, a small desperate smile gracing his features.

You furrowed your brows in return, your eyes narrowing in on him when you start to notice his flustered state. He was sweaty, His hair was wild, lips swollen, and the dark purplish hue that was stuck on his collarbone made its appearance once he shuffled to take off a sweater you’ve never seen before.

“Oh right! Let's see..-he said no.” you pouted and shrugged at him. “I’m sorry Ms. y/n, but it's just too late for that. I’m sure all of you will pull through...That. That was his response.”

The look tae returns, only reminds you of the one you made when you received your rejection. Even when you’ve tried over and over to convince the man of the unhealthy nature that stood between you three, he would only continue to insist that you solve it on your own. It only left you with no choice but to accept your tragic fate.

“So he’s making you stay with Captain hook and Tinkerbell?! Thats fucking crazy-” he starts to rant, his anger spiking too high for the atmosphere. you didn't like whenever he got worked up like that, so you attempt to change the subject at hand.

“Tae the only thing that seems to be crazy right now, is how you came late to our study date, looking as if you’ve just ran a marathon.” you quirked your brow and if you thought that the man had seemed flustered before, then his face must’ve felt as hot as the sun by now. His cheeks went from a pinkish hue to completely red and you couldn't help but to simply giggle at his expense.

“Alright …” you stretched in your seat before turning towards him “who was it?”.

He glances away nervously from you, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth. You could say on some level you were completely shocked. Over all your years of friendship you’ve never known your best friend to be shy about spilling his latest activities with you and that included telling you who's poor soul it was. You knew that it had been awhile since he’s had sex and he hasnt really taken an interest anyone-...wait.

“Oh my god…” your eyes widen. The excitement in your voice makes him look up at you. A mixture of curiosity and fear seen within his eyes because he somewhat knew you had already figured it out. There was only one person he couldn't bring himself to act cool in front of and that was none other than- You look around, eyes searching for anyone who might be listening when you turn back to him and mouth ‘Min yoongi?’

Taehyung cringes before groaning out of frustration.

“I just wanted to talk!! How was I supposed to know he would fall for my hot ass-” he cries out dramatically until someone from afar has shushes him. He then sends a nasty glare towards their direction, only to come back towards you to finish “ and I didnt fuck anyone sadly, … I made out with them.”

“You mean him’ as in Min Yoongi?” you try to correct and get a better answer with full smirk on your face.

Taehyung pouts for a bit. “ You know I find other people attractive besides him.” he mumbles “ anyways don't you remember? I was a complete dumb bitch the last time I talked to him. I turned him down to talk about living arrangements-”.

Suddenly he sits up from his slouching position a shocked expression on his face as if he had just realized something.“Oh shit!” He springs forward.

“What? What's happening?” You shuffle back a little, scared by how frantic he looks all of a sudden.

“ I-I’ve got to go. I-I completely forgot that I’m going to be staying with my crush for an entire week!” he says quickly standing up from his chair and you watch as he quickly reaches for all of his items.

“Hey! where are you going? You just got here” you say a bit saddened by the sudden departure. He grabs his bag, slinging it back up onto his shoulders and comes to land a gentle kiss on your temple. He does this sweet gesture and begins to sprint away before you could say anything else-but not forgetting to yell “I need to pack cuter clothes for Yoongi hyung! Bye!”. you sit there in your spot only shaking your head in return.

“Um hello?” a light voice comes from your side.

With a deep smile still being placed onto your features, you don't pay no mind to it. You were still too busy watching your friend’s retreating figure as he rushes away from your teasing of his crush. While he may not have audibly confirmed who the handsy culprit was, his face certainly did and all you wanted to do, was gush for him.

“Right. I’m dumb and Im just gonna go fuck myself now…” the same voice chimes behind you again, except all confidence before had completey vanished and you finally noticed.

“Wait huh?” you then ask turning around from your spot only to be met with another retreating figure that had it’s hoodie up.

From first glance you could almost assume that they were someone you had seen before. Their walk, their shape, and maybe even just the way they were carrying themselves with grace - it all seemed too familiar to you and Immediately you feel guilty from their words. It sounded as if they had gathered so much strength to talk to you and all you did was Ignore their attempt.

Your head throbbed, eyes were droopy and you wanted nothing more than to go take a nice nap in your bed after all that studying. It had been approximately 3 hours since taehyung had left you to your own presence and you still wondered who the mystery figure was that tried to talk to you earlier.

You’re leaning over in your chair, your bag in front of you as you packed up your remaining items. Your eyes trains on the overstuffed case, when a white object is set down in front of your view. You snap slightly towards it, your mind immediately registering it as a small coffee to-go cup.

“Still spending your life in the library I see, huh nerd?” the voice comes out a bit hoarse as if it’s owner wasn't usually one to speak. But they did and you knew they did -but only to the ones they cared about. Funny that at one point it used to be you...

You could've grabbed everything and got up, hell you could have taken the damn coffee and chucked it at the miserable man that dare to speak to you as if everything was fine. But of course, because you were so damn weak and you couldn't control the shock that had you in it’s vice grip, you look up to the handsomely dark male that once called himself your best friend.

“Jungkook?” You breathed. Swallowing thickly, in your now suddenly dry throat. His tall yet lean figure, shifts slightly from hearing his name come out of your mouth and he simply sends you a small nod in return.

“Y/n.” he greets.

Jungkook wasn't surprised at the frown that immediately comes onto your face and he also wasn't surprised that you didn't notice his little peace offering.

“What are you doing here?” Was the exact question he had already braced himself for when he decided it was best to get to you before his boyfriend did. Not long after jimin’s little show, did he verbally express numerous times he was going to come after you despite what jungkook thought and it was only up to the man himself to at least warn you.

“Did you take a wrong turn or something?” Yet another question comes from you. You were beyond confused by the boy’s odd appearance as he stood watching you silently with a cold expression that was completely different from what you were used to. Even if you both had not been friends for years, never once before have you ever had jungkook look at you without some type of adoration in his eyes.

Until now.

He snaps out of his emotionless trance and comes to take the empty seat in front of you. “Its an Americano with three pumps of vanilla- thought you could use some.” he finally says quietly as the coffee cup in front of you is pushed further your way and you slowly raise a skeptical brow. You then sit back a bit, completely stranger to the man you used to cuddle whenever you felt like it. It was weird how close you could be with someone and then suddenly you werent. Even so, it amazed you that he stilled remembered your go-to coffee.

“Um thanks.” you nod reaching for it, but then hesitating to take a sip “you didn't poison this did you?” you asked narrowing your eyes.

Jungkook blinks momentarily at your question and once he takes in what exactly you asked him he sends you a flat look in return. “ No. I don't know about you, but I do want to get an A in this class. I think me, poisoning one of my partners would be a childish decision ” Jungkook says matter-of-factly and the way he sends you a cold glare while taking a sip of his own drink has you wondering just when did the man become so...bitter?

You take your gaze away from him and lower it back down towards your coffee, a slight blush on your cheeks. The grip on it becoming a bit tighter as you grit your teeth in irritation “I wouldn't call it childish” you mutter under your breath. He’d only been around for about 5 minutes and you were already thinking about poisoning him.

Jungkook takes note of your immediate irritation. You never noticed but the way his eyes suddenly glimmered from your deplore of his comment. It was sure enough a number one sign of his ill intentions and After a silence passes by, only then does his emotionless expression return just before he speaks.

“We need to talk about jimin.”

———

There were three things you were sure of the moment Jungkook had decided to confront you while at the library. One, the boy was still as loathsome as the day you both parted, Two you were definitely plotting his death by poison and three...you don't know what kind of overbearing confidence Jimin has been feeding the man over the years, but Jeon Jungkook was way too conceited for his own good.

Ten minutes pass the time you were supposed to be heading home, were the same ten minutes you were stuck watching Jungkook babble on to you about...well you didn't know because you weren't listening.

You blinked slowly.

The sight of the muted raven’s lips moving in a concentrated flow to create a very long speech you surely weren't listening to. While so, you took the time to notice the small features of the grown man that had changed over time. His hair had grown out past the usual short cut he always kept, the boyishly round jawline you were used to seeing had transformed into something that one could say was sharp, and his eyes...while they were now cold towards you, even a blind bat could tell that once they fell upon you with a loving warmth- it could make anyone fall to their knees.

Although you hated the man himself, you had to admit no amount of disliking could make you so oblivious to how completely hot he is now. Too bad those good looks had to be wasted on such a shitty person...

“-you're not even listening.” his voice finally registers in your ears and he watches as your once glazed eyes snaps into alertness.

“h-huh what?” you stutter while finally bringing your lost attention back onto him. Jungkook’s highly bothered gaze, stays on you and when he sees the confused expression that you give him in return. It only confirms his suspicions of you not listening to a damn thing he was saying.

“Attention deficit. Even now you wont pay attention to me. ” Jungkook then sighs, his body sliding down as he leans his head back into his chair.

This was a lot more annoying than he expected it to be.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Your brow furrows and you cross your arms at his sly comment. The last place that you wanted to be in this moment was in front of jungkook and he had the nerve to insult you right as you were sitting across from him?

Jungkook raises his head once again only to be met with a harsh glare from your point and Inside he mentally scolds himself for letting those words slip out his mouth. “Nothing.” He quickly replies just before leaning over and more towards you. “I know you don't want to talk to me right now...or ever and I can see you’re more than less thrilled about having to put up with both Jimin and I for a week. I don't like repeating myself, So for once could you please listen to me y/n?” He pleads another emotion besides irritation filling his eyes.

There it was again… you thought to yourself, noting the way jungkook seems to insinuate that you never listen to him and if it hadn't been for the fact that you wanted him out of your sight as soon as possible, you would have asked why he seems to keep the pattern. In- fact the longer you both were in each other’s company, the angrier you become and receiving an F’ for this project was seeming worth it to you. If this was the kind of person you would have to talk to everyday in order to get work done, there was no way any of you were going to pass.

“We need to talk about Jimin” he repeats the same phrase, he uttered only a few moments ago and This time, they actually pique your interest. You then quirk a brow in question, no reasons for why he would want to talk about the silver haired man coming to your head.

“Why? Flaunting him around in my face not doing it for you?” You ask rhetorically, not even attempting to hide the bitterness in your voice. This makes Jungkook narrows his eyes. The faintest smirk appearing on his lips but deep down there was that familiar pinch of emotion that he’d learned to keep at bay. Guilt

“You know green never looked good on you y/n.” He clicks his tongue.

“And being a dick isn’t a great personality trait.” your reply was quick as you attempt to hide the silent sting of his words. You then raise your chin high, feigning confidence “ speaking of- ...what the hell does your boyfriend have to do with me?” You ask finally giving into the evil gaze that probably wasn't going to budge anytime soon.

Jungkook takes a moment to look at you, seeing that you’re equally as harsh gaze had no falter. Brows furrowed, star gazed eyes narrowed into slits, and soft looking lips pursed into a thin line-...wait did he just call your lips soft? What the fuck.

He blinks to himself.

“Well?” You prod, completely unaware of his sudden turmoil.

Jungkook clears his throat “Well, I guess I’ll just start off with the obvious fact that you have a non-stop hard on for him.” he speaks, looking too sure of himself. He would have thought this would have been a bit easier to communicate with you, but somehow he found it hard to tell you that karma was basically kicking him in his ass.

“Every girl has those for jimin, jungkook-” you snort and he rolls his eyes.

“But they’re not like you...”

“How so?” you inquire, a brow still quirked skeptically towards him. Jungkook sighs again but a bit more audibly this time “ You’re just different. They don't have our past history- our relationship.”

“Right, because normal girl’s don't have their crushes sucked away by a snake best friend.” You conclude sarcastically and It comes out just as venomous as you wanted it to “ how lucky am I? ”

The right eye on jungkook’s face twitches and he bites back his winning anger. Why he hasn't gotten up from this table yet was beyond his comprehension, he usually didn't have this kind of patience- not even for Jimin. Maybe because he wants to have it for you.

“Well my boyfriend wants to fuck you in more ways than one…so I’d say pretty damn lucky.” Jungkook swallows, his bottom lip being caught in between his teeth.

You frown and the air in between you shifts just when you start to see unease within his features. It feels as if time has just slowed down, the subtle beating within your heart escalating at jungkook’s highly alarming confession and you try your best not to let your mouth hang open.

Your body freezes, eyes bulging out slightly as you look away in shock and then understanding. For a moment, you wanted to believe that what Jungkook was telling you was true- that the very man you’ve fantasized multiple times about has suddenly done the same for you. But of course you couldn't, only holding onto the silent fear that this was all just some sick joke he came up with to hurt you even more.

Your fists clench at you side. You felt anger spike through you, from the thought of the evil boy plotting harm to you. “That's it? that's why you’re here? To tell me that your little love slave suddenly has his eye on me? How dumb do you think I am?” You sneer at him, your words getting louder by the second and you forget that the both of you were currently situated within a library.

What ever reaction jungkook thought you were going to have towards this conversation, it wasn't one of anger. surprise, happy- maybe even a bit of relief, but he certainly never pictured you rising from your seat and leaning over the table with a look that could kill an army.

He shifts a bit.

“ Do you think I'm so desperate that I would just jump immediately at your word? I'm not naive, little y/n anymore Jeon” you couldn't help yourself, watching as jungkook blinks rapidly towards you.

“Y/n that's not-“ Jungkook frowns and he tries to calm you down, but you were too far gone.

“I'm not that little puppet you can manipulate. I was your friend and that's what you should have treated me as...what the hell did I ever do to you?” The words leave your mouth before you could even register it. It was a fair question, that always seem to plague your mind whenever you thought about this. You’ve asked him this before of course, but for some reason you could never seem to remember what it was that he told you. All you knew was that no matter what it was, there was just no excuse for ever hurting your friend like that.

A long silence goes by.

“Friend.” He simply repeats after a moment. “ y/n you weren't my friend. Friends hangout everyday, friends share laughs and listen to each other's problems or secrets. Friends don't ignore each other’s entire existence when they wanted them most. Friends don't let the other fall while they take a step back…” By then Jungkook had slowly risen out of his seat as well, his speech strong with emotion until the last part had become so low you’ve completely missed it.

However that wasn't your worry, what registered with you most, was the pain his eyes bore into you -as if he wanted you to see everything that he’d kept inside all these years. If that it-self wasn't distracting then maybe it was the fact that jungkook had copied your stature without thinking it through fully. While he leaned over the table - his face only a few mere inches away, it dawns on you quickly that he was way too close into your personal space.

Even knowing so, you still wouldn't budge because you refused to be the one to submit. Instead you kept your unmoving glare onto his wavering eyes, your steady breathing against his increasing inhales, your frozen frame in shock when his moves in even closer, and a blank mind when his lips are suddenly on yours.

Jungkook had snapped.

Chapter Two | Masterlist

[sincerely-us-imagines]

It’s all about the money, honey (pt 2) (connor murphy x reader)

alternatively titled “it’s not about the money, honey”

Part 1 is here

I got a lot of good feedback on part 1 so thank you so so so much for that!!

It’s almost 1 am and I have to be up in like 6 hours and there is no way in hell im proofing this tonight lmao

also this is seriously 10 pages long i’m soRRY ITS A LOT

warnings: swearing, a teeny tiny bit of angst, asshole cousins i think thats it? also i tossed in some of my personal hc’s for evan oops

“So does this mean you’re done prostituting yourself out to Murphy?” Jared asked after you told him what went down Friday night.

Evan shot Jared a disproving look.

“I’m not a prostitute, Jared. I was just--”

“Getting paid for the “girlfriend experience” by someone who can’t get laid?” he popped a baby carrot into his mouth. Evan and Jared were the only two who actually knew what was going on between you and Connor. And sometimes you regretted telling the latter. Like right now, for instance.

“I never slept with him, Jared. I never even kissed him. The most I ever did was like, hold his hand.”

“Somehow that’s even more pathetic on his behalf.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Evan asked, ignoring Jared completely.

“I don’t know. He’ll probably make up a story to tell his parents why we broke up.” you tried to sound nonchalant about the entire thing. You barely tolerated each other away from his family, so why did this feel like the end of an actual relationship?

“Uh oh,” Evan said, eyes locked behind you.

“Well speak of the goddamn devil.” Jared laughed.

You turned around to see Connor approaching you from behind. He looked horrible. There were deep purple circles under his eyes and his hair was a frizzy unwashed mess. You pushed down any feeling of pity you had for him as he walked up to you.

“I need to talk to you.” he said.

“Just tell them we broke up. It doesn’t need to be a discussion.”

Evan shifted uncomfortably across from you while Jared watched on, clearly amused.

“I don’t want to-- just. Please, can we talk?”

You sighed and gestured to the seat beside you.

“Fine.”

Connor eyed your friends.

“Away from them?”

You rolled your eyes but picked up your bag nonetheless.

“I’ll see you guys in econ.” you told them, giving a small wave before following Connor to an empty lunch table in the back corner of the cafeteria.

“Look, Y/n, I��m really sorry. You were just trying to play along and do what you thought would be best. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“It’s fine.” you shrugged it off as if it were nothing. As if you totally hadn’t cried yourself to sleep Friday night after you got home, or spent all of Saturday at Evan’s place ranting about it.

“It isn’t. I was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah, you really were.” you agreed. His jaw clenched and he took a deep breath. It brought you a small sense of satisfaction to know you got on his nerves.

“If you’re still willing, I want us to keep… doing this,” he gestured between the two of you and took a deep breath, as if what he would say next was going to hurt him.

“And for you to come with me to my cousin’s wedding.”

You blinked at him, a bit taken aback.

“You… You actually want me to go? You can just tell your family I’m busy that day or something.”

“No, I, uh,” he sighed, “I want you to go. I don’t want to be alone with my family.” He looked down and began to pick at his chipped nail polish. “Things, um, they aren’t as bad when you’re there.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Aww Connie,” you cooed and poked his cheek, “do you like having me around?”

He flushed pink and swatted your hand away.

“No! You just… don’t always totally suck to be around.”

You put a hand over your chest in an exaggerated manner.

“Oh Con, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me!”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes at you, “And don’t call me ‘Con’.”

“If you say so, Lawrence.” you shrugged, smirking.

He only ignored you.

“So we’re cool?” He asked, glancing over at you.

“We are.”

“Okay so the wedding is the 1st of next month. It starts at 3 but it’s like an hour away so i’ll be there at around 12:30 so we’ll have time to get gas and maybe stop and get a drink for the road and still get there a little early.”

“Got it.” You nodded, punching the information into your phone’s calendar.

“Cool.” He stood up to leave but stopped. “Also, uh, do you maybe wanna come over for dinner thursday? My mom said she’ll make that casserole thing you like.”

“They asked me back already?” you were kind of surprised. It was usually every other week you came over.

Connor was quiet for a few seconds while he adjusted the strap on his messenger bag.

“Uh, yeah. They did.” he wasn’t looking at you. “I’ll see you in science, yeah?”

“Of course.” you answered, a little confused by his behavior.

He mumbled a goodbye and headed off, leaving you wondering what the hell was going on with him.

The last couple weeks of the month flew by and the 1st came up sooner than you’d expected. You were ready at 12, having had Evan come over to help you with your hair. He was actually really good at, which was surprising with how bad his hands shake. He said he learned to braid in boy scouts when he was little and used to do his mom’s hair all the time when he was younger. You’d have to ask him is he would do your hair for prom, too.

You wondered if Connor would ask you to prom. Just to appease his parents, of course. It would only make sense for a boyfriend-- a fake boyfriend- to ask his fake girlfriend to their senior prom. It’s all fake, Y/n. you remind yourself. He doesn’t actually care about you like that.

You shook the thoughts from your head and straightened out your outfit, a pretty swing dress with a  lace overlay. Connor pulled up at 12:15 and just kind of… sat in the driveway. After watching him from your bedroom window for a couple minutes you went downstairs to say goodbye to your mother (who was quite excited for you to be going on a “date”. And kept giving you that knowing Mom Look) and headed outside towards Connor’s car.

You approached the door and looked inside to see him sitting there, scrolling through his phone. You knocked on the window and he jumped, looking over at the window with wide eyes. He unlocked the door and you climbed in, laughing at him.

“Why were you just sitting in the driveway?” you asked, pulling on your seatbelt

“I was early and I didn’t want to bother you, so I was just going to wait until 12:30 to text you.”

“Since when do you care about bothering me? That’s, like, all you do.” You looked over at Connor to find his eyes fixed on you. You shifted uncomfortably and adjusted your dress.

“Uh, Connor? Is something wrong?”

“Yeah.” You tilted your head in confusion at him. “I mean- no. No, nothing’s wrong.”

He turned back to face forward and put the car in reverse, backing out of your driveway,

“Okay… Well, um, you look really nice.” you told him. And it was the truth. He had his long curls pulled back into a bun, wearing black dress pants and oxfords with a maroon suit jacket over a pink shirt with a tasteful floral print tie. It was a very classic look, but with a fun twist. And it looked great on him.

“Zoe said I look like a bellhop.” he grumbled. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“You don’t.” you assured him, “You look really, really handsome, Connor.”

The tips of his ears turned pink at your compliment.

“Thanks. You look okay too, I guess.” he said in a teasing tone.

“Asshole!” you laughed, hitting him lightly on the arm.

“I’m kidding, Christ!” he laughed too. “Really though, you look great.”

“Thank you, Connor.” you smiled and rolled your eyes, trying to fight the heat rising in your cheeks.

Connor pulled into the 7-Eleven down the street from your house, parking beside a pump and turning the car off.

“You want anything?” he asked as he opened the door.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Nothing?”

“No, Connor. Thank you though.”

He shrugged and shut the door and you waited until he was in the building before pulling out your phone and snapping a picture of yourself, sending it to the group chat with Jared and Evan.

Jare-Bear: damn. hot mama.

Ev: you look great!

Ev: you sprayed your hair again before you left right?

You: yes, ev

You: thank you

Jare-Bear: evan ur gay

Ev: only half

Ev: ish

Jare-Bear: whats connor wearing

Jare-Bear: a trenchcoat and bandolier?

Ev: jared, thats not funny

You: can you not be an asshole for like 2 minutes?

You: he looks really good, actually

Ev: think you can get a picture with him?

Jare-Bear: why? So u can have material to jack off to both murphy siblings

Ev: shut the hell up

You glanced up from your phone to see Connor walking back towards the car with a plastic bag.

You: gtg

You: message you guys later <3

Ev: okay have fun!

Jare-Bare: use condoms

You stuff your phone in your purse and watch Connor leans against the car as he pumps the gas. He tugs the little curls at the nape of his neck, the ones that wouldn’t fit into the bun, twisting them around his finger and letting them spring free. A nervous habit, you assume. A replacement for his usual compulsion of running his hand through his hair, probably. Why do you know that? That’s so weird that you like, consciously recognize that. What the hell--

The nozzle clicks and you quickly turn to look straight ahead, pretending like you hadn’t just been analyzing his behavior.

He opened the door and folded himself into the driver’s seat, starting up the car. Once getting situated, he opened the center console and pulled out a bottle of hand sanitizer, squirting a few pumps into his hands and rubbing them together.

“What?” he asked when he realized you were looking at him.

“Nothing.”

“Do you have any idea how dirty gas pumps are?”

“I don’t suppose I do.”

“Well, they’re fucking filthy.”

“I believe you.” you couldn’t help the amused grin spreading across your face.

“Then what’s so goddamn funny?” he was pretending to be angry, but you could tell he was fighting back a smile.

“You’re just so…” Please don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it, y/n.

“I’m so…?”

Cute. You’re fucking cute, Connor, okay? Everything you’ve done today has been unbearably adorable and I can’t stand it.

“We should go.” you say instead, glancing at the clock on the dashboard.

He eyed you suspiciously but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, but first,” he dug around in the plastic bag and handed you a bottle of water and a pack of M&M’s. You looked down at them and then back up at him.

“I know you said you didn’t want anything but I thought since it’s kind of a long drive you might… y’know, change your mind or something.” his voice suddenly changed from it’s half bashful tone to something a little stronger, but still light. “And I’m not about to pull over for you to go get a snack or some shit. So really it’s in my best interest, y’know. Just so I don’t have to hear you whine.”

“Sure.” you smile, taking a sip of water

“Whatever.” there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as he pulls out onto the road.

“Thank you, Connor. Really.”

Connor turns on the radio in favor of answering you.

Connor pulls into the parking lot of a rather large synagogue roughly an hour later. He finds a parking spot near his parents’ SUV.

“Holy shit,” you say, getting out of the car and admiring the architecture of the building. Connor snorted as he rounded the car to come get you.

“Oh, oops.” you covered your mouth, realizing what you’d just said.

“You are such a dork.” Connor smiled, holding his arm out for you to take.

“Shut up.” you laughed, nudging him.

Inside the synagogue you met up with Cynthia, Larry, Zoe, and their grandmother, who greeted you both with a big hug and kiss. and found your seats. You talked easily to Connor and Zoe until more people began filing in, filling up the pews. The ceremony was simple yet beautiful, and the bride’s dress was utterly breathtaking. You didn’t know them, sure, but you did tear up a bit (which made Connor smirk and poke you in the side).

After the ceremony and before the reception, Connor, after being instructed to by his parents, bashfully introduced you to some of his other family, all of whom commented on either how well Connor did or how beautiful you were. Except for one cousin.

He seemed to be a few years younger than you, maybe 15 or so. Connor immediately tensed when he saw him approach. He looked over towards his parents, almost like a scared kid would, but they were too wrapped up in a conversation with some third time removed somebody to even notice.

“Hey, hey! Larry Junior! How’s it going?” the kid said, clapping a hand over Connor’s shoulder.

“Don’t call me that.” Connor said, glaring at him, and taking a step back to escape his cousin’s grasp.

The kid put his hands up in mock-surrender.

“No need for aggression, buddy. Don’t need a repeat of your 6th grade summer, do we?”

You glanced up at Connor in confusion.

“Oh he didn’t tell you?” the kid continued, “He had to go to, what was it called, Connor?”

“You need to shut up. Now.” Connor growled.

Connor was at least a head taller than this kid, and one of the most intimidating people you’d ever met. Why wasn’t he scared?

“Oh yeah!” the kid snapped, “”Behavioral Correction Camp”! He didn’t tell you that, did he?”

You stayed quiet, chewing on the inside of your mouth anxiously.

“Anyway,” he continued after getting no response for you, “how long have you been dating this charming cousin of mine?”

“Three and a half months.” you said, grabbing Connor’s hand protectively.

“And what exactly are you doing with him?”

“What?”

“Why are you with him? We thought Connor would never get a girlfriend. He was such a problem child, freaked out over every little thing, threw tantrums.” the kid laughed a little, “Hell, the reason he had to go to Batshit Crazy Camp was because he beat the shit out of me when we were younger, isn’t that right?”

Connor was absolutely fuming. You could feel his hand shaking in yours. His jaw was clenched so tight it was a wonder his teeth didn’t just shatter. He was using a lot of self control right now, that much was evident.

“You wanna know why I’m with him?” you asked, squeezing Connor’s hand tighter, “Not that I owe you any kind of answer. I’m with him because he’s sweet and thoughtful. He cares about me and my feelings and my wellbeing. He’s got a great sense of humor and he gets me. He makes me feel like no one else can. He can be gentle despite everything he’s been through, despite what people like you say to him, and he admits when he’s wrong and he’s trying. He tries so hard to be a good person. And he is a good person. And that’s a lot more than I can say about you.” You didn’t realize you were crying until you finished talking. You wiped your eyes on the back of your free hand before tugging him towards the big wooden doors out to the parking lot.

“The reception is in half an hour, you two! We’ll meet you there!” you hear Cynthia shout cheerfully as you leave the building.

You walked to the car, not letting go of Connor’s hand until it was absolutely necessary.

Once inside, you pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror, wiping at your eyes with a napkin from your purse, doing your best not to smear your makeup. You took a swallow of water from the bottle he bought you earlier before taking a calming breath.

“I’m sorry.” you told him, shaking your head. “I-I didn’t mean to--”

“Y/n, shh. He grabbed your hand and laced his fingers through yours. “Thank you. For saying all that. You didn’t have to do that.”

“What was I supposed to do? Just stand there and let him insult you? Connor, you’re my--” you cut yourself off. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wasn’t really your friend, either. That doesn’t mean what you said wasn’t true, though. “I care about you.” you finished, looking out the window.

“I care about you too.”

“Shut up.” you smiled, not looking at him.

“Wanna head towards the hotel for the reception?” Connor asked, removing his hand from yours. You nodded and he put the car in gear.

You pulled out your phone and opened your group chat.

You: shit you guys

You: this is bad

Ev: ????

Jare-Bear: did he hurt you

You: no

You: i think i like him

Ev: really?

Ev: like, LIKE like?

Jare-Bear: gay

Ev: hey jared?

Jare-Bear: ya

Ev: shut up

Ev: for once in your life

You: yeah

You: i think so

Jare-Bear: i thought you had better taste than that

You: shut up

Ev: shut up

Ev: just be happy for her

Ev: unless youre about to like

Ev: profess your undying love for her

Ev: then its really not your business

You: thank you ev <3

Jare-Bear: i think shes just in denial u know

Jare-Bear: using murphy as a distraction from her lifelong crush on me

Jare-Bear: its okay u can tell me

You: lmao

Jare-Bear: rude

You: thats me

You put your phone on silent so it wouldn’t constantly buzz with Jared and Evan’s inevitable bickering.

“You want something to drink?” Connor shouted over the music. The reception turned out to be one hell of a party. There was tons of food and drinks, flashing lights and balloons and streamers and a massive dance floor, and it was loud. Really loud. It was kind of like prom, but with a lot of old people.

You nodded and gave him a thumbs up in confirmation. He got up and wandered off towards the far wall where the refreshments were.

You made small talk with Zoe until he came back.

He handed you a clear plastic cup full of what you assumed to be sparkling cider, and clinked his own against it in a toast. You smiled and took a sip. You froze, eying him as you swallowed.

“Connor,” you said slowly, “Is this alcohol?”

“Yup.” he grinned, taking a big swallow from him own cup. You didn’t bother asking questions. You didn’t really care how he got it.

You laughed and talked about nothing in particular for a while.

“Oh, I like this song.” you commented absently as the first few notes played over the speakers. Connor stood up pulled off his jacket, laying over the back of the chair, and held his hand out.

“Dance with me?” he asked.

“What?” you almost laughed.

“Will you dance with me?”

“I don’t know how.” you admitted.

“I’ll show you.”

“You can dance?”

“Is that so surprising?” he feigned offense.

“I mean, yeah.” you laughed.

“Just come on, jerk.”

He took your hand and lead you towards the center of the dance floor.

“Okay, now put your hand here.” he placed your hand on his shoulder. “And I put mine here.” He rested his hand over your hip and you felt heat rise in your cheeks.

“And then we just,” he began stepping in a simple pattern. You picked up quickly and were able to keep up, only stepping on his toes a few times. It got easier with each song.

A slower paced oldies song came on and you laughed as he spun you around out of tune with the song, the skirt of your dress flaring out in a big circle around you. You came to a halt in front of him, stumbling a bit as you regained your balance. He held tight to your waist to keep you upright. A wide, crooked smile was stretched across his angular face as he looked down at you. You couldn’t help but smile back. He continued to sway you to the beat of the music.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight. You really didn’t--”

“Hush.” you smiled. “I’m having fun.”

“I am too.”

You leaned your head against his shoulder and he snaked his arm from your hip to your lower back.

“Oh!” you said, pulling back after a couple of minutes. “I told Evan I’d send him a picture of us together. Is that okay?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.”

You hurried back over to the table and grabbed your phone, ignoring the flood of messages from Jared and Evan arguing, and opened up your camera. You took different pictures and chose a random one to send to Evan and Jared and promptly shoved your phone back in your bag.

You stayed a couple more hours, dancing and eating and having a good time with Connor, before you decided it was probably time to go home.

“Hey, Y/n. Come on, wake up.” Connor was shaking you gently.

“What?” you yawned, sitting up straight. “Oh god my neck hurts like a bitch,” you groaned, massaging the aforementioned area.

“Yeah, I bet. You fell asleep with it at like a 90 degree angle.”

“Ugh… wait. I slept the entire way home?”

“Yup. And you snored too.”

“I did not!” you gasped.

“Totally did.” he laughed, nodding. “Full on sawing logs over there.”

“Shut up oh my God.” you rubbed sleepily at your eyes, forgetting all about your makeup. “What time is it?” another yawn forced its way out of your mouth.

“Half past one.”

“In the morning?!”

“No, it’s just after lunch, Y/n.” Connor replied sarcastically.

You rolled your eyes and stretched out, grabbing your bag from the floorboard.

“Can I walk you up?” Connor asked. You nodded.

He walked around to your side of the car and opened the door for you. Your heels made you a  bit unsteady on your feet, having just woken up, so Connor looped his arm around your waist as he walked you to your front door.

You began digging through you bag for your keys, swearing under your breath at the ungodly amount of junk in your bag.

When you successfully found them and looked back up Connor was holding at least half a dozen twenties.

“No.” you shook your head, pushing the money away.

“Y/n-”

“No, Connor. I don’t want you to pay me.”

“We had a deal, Y/n.”

“Please, Connor, I’m too tired to argue. I had an amazing time with you today. I don’t need your money; it was my pleasure. Really.”

Connor hesitated before putting the money back in his wallet, still looking unsure.

“I, um. I don’t want you to pay me anymore.” you told him. “When we hang out. I… I like just being with you. If you want me to keep being your fake girlfriend or whatever around your family, that’s fine but… I don’t want you to give me money for it. I meant what I said to your cousin.”

Connor stared at you for a moment before speaking.

“I don’t want you to be my fake girlfriend anymore.”

Oh. That’s okay, Y/n. It’s fine. You freaked him out by saying that and he has literally no obligation to stay around you if he doesn’t want to.

“That, um, that’s fine. It’s totally your decision. Uh, whatever you wanna tell your parents happened is fine just-”

“I don’t want you to be my fake girlfriend.” Connor interrupted, grabbing your hand. “Maybe I could take you out next weekend? Like on a real date?”

Your stomach fluttered and you nodded a bit too fast.

“Yes! Yes I… yes. That would be amazing. I-I’d really really like that.”

“Okay.” he grinned.

“Okay.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“I should, uh, I should get home.” he gestured with his thumb at his car.

“Yeah, totally.” you couldn’t wipe the dopey grin off your face.

Connor headed to his car and you began to unlock the front door.

“Oh!” he called just before you stepped inside, “Can you send me those pictures?”

You nodded and he gave a thumbs up.

You snuck inside as quietly as you could, creeping into your room and shutting the door softly. You stripped off your dress and hung it up before pulling on a big t-shirt to sleep in and using a makeup wipe in a half-assed attempt to wash your face. You were too tired to go all the way across the hall to the bathroom. Your skin would give you hell, yeah, but that’s a problem for future you. So is the rat’s nest your hair will be when you wake up in the morning without brushing it out but you really couldn’t be bothered right now.

You climbed under your covers and unlocked your phone, seeing messages Jared and Evan had sent in response to the pitcture.

Jare-Bear: shit dude

Jare-Bear: hes got it bad for u

Ev: he really does

Ev: look at the way he’s looking at you

You tapped the picture to make it bigger. You were smiling at the camera, head tilted slightly to the side, while Connor watched you with soft eyes and a gentle smile. He looked happy just being there beside you.

You forwarded the picture to Connor and sent a quick goodnight message before settling into your bed, smiling even as you drifted off to sleep.

[strangetomato]

This has happened to me twice and it really hurts! :( Probably more so since I am infertile :'(

I’m sorry that happened to you. :( That must have been painful. This is why is always so much better not to comment on such things. grilledfortune replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

And don't forget thirdhand embarrassment for the other person's party! My ex's ma did that to a waitress with the same response... Ugh, we could have died.

Yeah, it’s an incredibly awkward situation all around. My SO has been present the last few times it happened to me, which was fine. He’s pretty discreet, and at least we could go wtf about it together afterwards. infinitesimblr replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I have been on meds that mimic pregnancy on and off for two-thirds of my life. They didn't really affect my weight until I went back on them after being off for a bit and having my first for real kid. Now I have four kids, relatives who try to sell me weight-loss products when they're in town (PASS) and no fucks left to give about what shape I am.

Ugh, your relatives sound frustrating. My fairly sudden weight gain (the last couple of years) has been med-related, too. And having had two children, the weight seems to collect mostly in that area. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this, but there’s a lot to be said for giving no fucks anymore. penig replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

A passing stranger once said to me: "You carry the boys high." Um, that's nice? I have a Renaissance figure - pear shaped with a high waist - so I got this even when I was skinny.

So this stranger was psychic as well as rude--they even knew the gender of your supposed baby! People need to realize that we all come in different shapes and sizes and very few have flat bellies. thelonelysimsclub replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I get this a few times recently. I'll be out with my youngest and I get something like "wow! Having another one already! You must love babies!" - nope, I just really love pasta.

”I just love pasta.” haha! I like that. I had a friend who said it was a “food baby”. I think it’s fairly common for this to happen postpartum, which is not good because of the hormones present during that time. It can be very upsetting when the new mother is worrying about “getting her body back” (which is a whole other rant, really). annegirl13 replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I had a preschool student who didn’t believe me when I told him I wasn’t pregnant. He kept patting my belly...It was so awkward...��

It can be incredible awkward when kids do this, because they don’t know yet to realize they’ve been rude. It’s something that should be taught to kids, I think, not to comment on people’s appearance. It can be rude and embarrassing in so many different situations. dunne-ias replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I am pregnant-shaped too. As in, I'm overweight with most of my weight on my belly, so I really do look as if I'm going to have a baby. Does not give people the right to comment on it :(

No, it certainly does not. I feel like there’s a weird fixation on commenting on people’s bodies, especially once you’re considered overweight. immdreamz replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

people are so rude sometimes intentionally or not. I wouldn't even think to ask something like that from a person.

That’s a good thing. :) I hope more people get the memo on this. pixelcurious replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

Even if it's super obvious that someone's pregnant, it's rude to bring it up before they do. Pregnant people get treated like public property all too often. And if you're not sure, that's even worse—you're potentially going to make someone with tummy chub feel bad. ��

Yeah, exactly. Even if they are pregnant, they might not want to talk about it. That’s a good point. And it’s bad to make the assumption. katatty-main replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

oh yeah, someone asked me that once and i still get upset thinking about it... what do you even say to that - "no, thanks, im just fat"?

Yeah, “Nope, just fat”! haha. I’ve tend to say simply “No, I’m not” or “No, I’ve just gained some weight.” Pretty straightforward. But a friend of mine used to say they were having a “food baby”, haha. If you enjoyed making people uncomfortable, I’m sure you could send it right back in this situation. soniabigcheese replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I made that mistake a couple of years ago with a friend of mine. I hadn't seen her in ages and the first thing I did was ask if she was pregnant. The look on her face was priceless. I immediately apologized. Oops.

It can be an easy mistake to make, I think. The best you can do is apologize, and not make too big of a deal out of it. dezzydoesthings replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I'm fat but I have huge weapons of mass destruction tits that hide it. So you can't even see my stomach, just ahh their coming at me

Yeah, it’s all about proportion and shape, I guess. I do have some bust now compared with most of my life where I was much smaller-breasted, but the belly is still much more prominent. charmandersims replied to your post “Random handy tip: the only acceptable time to ask about someone’s...”

I get it a lot from the kids at the school where I work. It's fine if they're five, but when their parents join in I have to be all like 'actually no' - it's just awkward for everyone

If I was the parent in that situation, I’d explain to my child not to say that because it’s not nice to assume. And we all know what they say about when you assume, right?

[all-dead-rock-show]

Losing Sleep

Summary: Dan can’t sleep at night and Phil takes notice.

Genre: a little angsty but ends with fluff so yeah 

Warnings: swearing and middle of the night thoughts about the world i guess

Word Count: 3260

a/n: okay so my first phanfiction was supposed to be JUST FLUFF but obviously i couldn’t do that so yeah sorry. also since it’s my first fic, please let me know what you think and please help me spread it around! oh yeah and sorry for the shit title my creativity is dying apparently. 

~~~~

It was becoming an issue.

Dan was staring at his ceiling in the dark, his mind spinning, different thoughts threatening to take control in his brain.

This has been happening for a while now, staying up all hours of the night just thinking about nothing, but also everything.

So, yes, it was becoming an issue.

Dan sighed and turned to his side, only to see his alarm clock blinking at him. The clock blinked at him in bright red numbers, reading 5:07 am. Dan squeezed his eyes shut, and sat up in his bed, the sheets falling down his bare chest. He was already wide awake, there was no way he was going to fall asleep, and his alarm clock was soon going to go off so he could get ready for school, so why not just get up now?

Dan slid out of bed and padded his way to the bathroom. He switched on the light, only to be blinded by the sudden brightness, and turned the shower on.

As he stepped into the warm water, Dan closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He didn’t want the thoughts that plagued his mind in the night to follow him into the daytime, otherwise Dan would become a complete wreck. Not that I already am, he thought bitterly.

Dan opened his eyes and began his normal shower routine. He wash his body first, then face, and then his hair. He switched off the water and dried off.

Soon, Dan exited his room to go to the kitchen to eat breakfast. His mum was already awake, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Up already, dear? This is the third time this week that you’ve been down early.” She said to Dan as she sipped her coffee. 

“Yeah, I just don’t want to miss the bus again.” Dan replied to her as he grabbed a box of cereal and began to pour it into a bowl.

His mum hummed in agreement and took in his appearance. “Daniel, are you feeling alright? You look sick.” 

Dan mum made a move towards him to feel his forehead, but Dan jolted away. “Yes, Mum, I’m fine. Just a bit tired as I was up all night studying.” Dan couldn’t help but feel a little bad for lying to his mother. But, technically I’m not lying because I did stay up all night, Dan thought. Just not because I was doing homework.

His mother leaned back to her place against the counter. “Okay,” She said. “But if you ever need anything, just remember that I’m here.” His mum gave Dan a warm look that made Dan give a small smile.

“Yes, Mum, I know.”

His mother then nodded, looking satisfied. Dan made his way to the kitchen table and sat down to begin eating his breakfast. After being up all night thinking about this mess of a world, Dan was starving. Also he had skipped dinner because he didn’t have much of an appetite because of these thoughts.

Dan shoveled the cereal into his mouth as his phone chimed. He swallowed the food and picked up his phone to see a text from his best friend. 

“Hey you up? Don’t wanna miss the bus. Again.” 

Dan smiled and rolled his eyes. Ever since Dan had missed the bus a few weeks ago, Phil had never let him see the light of day.

“yes im up. dont have to be a dick about it” Dan typed back.

The message back was instant.

“I’m not being a dick, I’m just helping out some asshole I met a few years back.”

Dan couldn’t contain his laughter after that, and a small giggle escaped his lips.

“oh wow, thanks,” Dan sent back.

“I try.” Was Phil’s response.

 Dan grinned and finished the last bit of his breakfast. “Okay, I’m off.”

Dan’s mum walked over to Dan and gave him a kiss on the head. “Alright, sweetie, have a good day at school.”

Dan gave her a light smile back and told her goodbye. He grabbed his phone and backpack and left the house.

He made his way to the bus stop and his face broke into a wide grin and he picked up the pace of his walking. Phil could always make Dan smile, even if he was a few feet away from him. 

“Hey, dickhead.”

Phil’s shoulders tensed, but  immediately relaxed as he recognized the voice. He turned around and gave Dan a look that said he was not amused.

 “Hey back, shit face.”

Dan raised an amused eyebrow. “Is that the first time you’ve said ’shit face’?”

Phil shrugged but Dan could see a light pink color tint his cheeks. “Just never had a reason to, I guess.” 

Dan bowed his head to hide a smile. “You’re really something, Phil Lester.” 

Phil shrugged again and grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you.”

They began chatting about something dumb and Dan couldn’t help but feel glad that he had Phil as best friend. They could talk for hours and not get tired of being around the other. Phil was such a great person and an amazing friend, and Dan felt so lucky to have him in his life. Phil always knew what to say to make him feel better, and could accept him for who he was. That’s why Dan came out to Phil first, because he knew he could trust Phil and that Phil would still treat him like he always had, despite being gay.

The bus arrived at their stop and everyone pilled in. Dan walked towards the middle of the bus and sat in their usual seat. Phil plopped himself right next to Dan, their bodies smushed together. Dan and Phil had always sat close to each other, had always been quite touchy-feely. They were constantly touching, whether it was shoving when they were joking about, or cuddling up together while playing video games or watching a movie. That’s just how Dan and Phil were. 

“I have, like, no exams this week because I’ve been exempt from them all and I know that you’ve been exempt too so can we-“

“I haven’t been exempt from my exams.” Dan interrupted Phil. 

“What? Why?” Phil gave Dan a confused look. 

Dan sighed. “Because I’ve been absent too much and I’m pretty much on the verge of failing physics.”

Phil’s mouth dropped in the shape if an ‘o’.  “I told you not skip school, and I told you physics was gonna be really hard,” Phil began but Dan put up a hand the clearly said “not now”. 

“I know,” Dan tried to say, but Phil kept on babbling. 

“See, if you just tried a lot harder in physics, like I said, you wouldn’t have to take the exam, but no, don’t listen to Phil. He has no idea what it’s like to in year-“

“Okay! Okay, I get it. I should have listened to you ‘cause you’re Phil Lester, the all-knowing one.”

Only then, did Phil stop his rant, smirking at Dan, looking satisfied. The rest of the bus ride was spent sharing headphones and listening their favorite songs. Dan closed his eyes and let the music overtake him. He didn’t even realize his eyes becoming droopier or his breathing evening out…

~~~~ 

Dan was woken by something violently shaking him and a voice quietly telling him to “wake up, Dan, hey, wake up!” 

“Dan, Dan, hey, wake up, mate, we’re here. Dan, come man, time to wake up!”

Dan’s eyes cracked open and squinted up to see who was rudely interrupting such a wonderful sleep. He could make up the black hair and sparkling eyes that belonged to none other than his best friend. 

“Dan, hey, you up?” Phil continued to shake Dan and if he was honest, he was starting to feel slightly nauseous.

“Phil?” Dan croaked, voice slightly raspy from sleep. 

“Dan? God, finally. Are you okay?” Phil’s eyes were tinted with concern and Dan squeezed his eyes shut again for a bit s he didn’t have to see such a piercing gaze.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. Wha-? How long-? I don’t-?” Dan’s mind couldn’t put together why they were still on the school bus. He was confused to how long he was out and if they were late for class. He had an exam in physics today! He had to get to class! He had to- 

Phil seemed to have seen the panic in Dan’s eyes because he put a comforting hand on Dan’s shoulder and said, “It’s only 7:09, school doesn’t start for another eleven minutes. But Dan, you were out cold, what happened? You wouldn’t seem to wake up, no matter how many times I tried to wake you. Dan, this-this has been happening for over a month now… are you getting enough sleep at night?”

Dan shook his head. “Phil, I’m fine. It’s just, you know, exams… and stuff…” Dan’s voice trailed off at the end of his excuse. Phil raised an prefect eyebrow at him, a look of disbelief on his face. Dan always envied how Phil’s eyebrows seemed to look so perfect compared to Dan’s bushier ones, and he doesn’t even do anything to make them look that way. Everything about Phil was perfect to Dan, and it made him wonder why Phil had chosen to be friends while him when he could literally be friends with anyone else.

“Look, Phil, can we just go inside? I’m sure the bus driver doesn’t appreciate us still being on the bus and school starts in a few minutes.” Phil sighed and, somewhat reluctantly, nodded his head.

Both boys gathered their backpacks and scrambled off the bus, Phil apologizing to the driver for being on the bus a little bit longer than planned. Dan got the idea that he had asked the driver to stay while he woke Dan. 

As they entered the school, Dan could feel Phil’s eyes burning into the back of his head. He knew Phil didn’t believe him when he said he was fine, but Dan didn’t want to drop his fucked up thoughts on Phil. Phil didn’t deserve that.

They silently made their way to their first period class, having to split up because Phil was in a higher year than Dan was.

“Good luck on your exam,” Phil said as Dan arrived to his class. “Don’t fall asleep in there.” 

Dan grinned. “I’ll try.” 

Phil smiled softly back and Dan’s heart did a weird flip. He began to head off to his class, Dan’s eyes watching his tall body make its way down the hall. 

~~~~

“Dan, look I know something’s up, could you please-“

They were on their way to Phil’s house. Dan usually hung out there from after school until his mother called him telling him it was time to come home. Dan stopped walking and turned around, catching Phil off guard and causing him to run into Dan. Dan felt his heart rate increase and the black haired boy collided with his lanky frame. He has been get this feeling a lot around Phil lately, and he has yet to become used to the feeling.

Phil grabbed Dan’s arms and balanced himself as he took a few steps back. He then looked into Dan’s eyes, blue meeting brown, in such intensity that made Dan’s cheeks grow red and he adverted his eyes downward. 

“When was the last time you got a full night’s rest?”

Dan knew this was coming. How could he expect his best friend to not notice if Dan was tired all the time. He was sure that Phil wasn’t the only one who has noticed. People ask him all the time if he’s alright, and he just shrugs them off, saying some kind of bullshit like “oh yeah, just up late studying” or “just a bad dream, it’s nothing.” Not to mention his constant yawning, falling asleep in class, and sluggish body language. And he’s sure everyone can see the prominent bags under his eyes, a sign of losing sleep.

Dan, face down, shrugged and mumbled something that caused Phil to ask him to repeat himself.

“I don’t know,” Dan repeated. “Last time I slept over at your house, maybe.” Phil’s eyes widen comically.

“Dan, that was weeks ago… The last time you stayed over was at the end of April because of my university trips and stuff. Dan- holy shit- Dan, humans can’t go that long without sleep, we-we need it to survive, to function properly, to-“ Phil signed and ran a hand through his fringe. 

“You think I don’t know that?” Dan said quietly, his face still looking at the pavement. Phil tilted his head to the side, ask if asking his a silent question. Dan looked up.

“You think I don’t know that people need sleep to do their everyday activities? You think that I don’t know that this is unhealthy behavior? Phil, I know that I need sleep. And every night I think ‘it’ll be fine, I will sleep tonight’ and then three hours later I’m wide awake staring at the ceiling. It’s just that my mind won’t just shut the fuck up. I just can’t fall asleep. And when I can’t sleep, my mind starts racing. I begin to think about the most fucked up things and I can’t stop. And then suddenly it’s five am and I have to start getting ready for school. It’s ju-just so, so hard, Phil. Sometimes the weight of the world mixed with my sleep-deprived mind becomes too much and I lose it. I…” Dan’s voice breaks and tears start to form in his eyes. He swallows. “Phil, I… I’m sorry for dropping all that on you, I didn’t mean… Here, I’ll just go home…” Dan turns around and, slowly, starts walking to his house. He hears Phil clear his throat, but Dan doesn’t think anything of it.

Why would Phil care about his messed up mind? He doesn’t need to worry about Dan when he has university to worry about. The tears fall more quickly now, thinking about how Dan only has this summer left with Phil. Phil will being attending York University, leaving Dan behind to make new, better friends who don’t cry to themselves at night over the fact that they can’t fall asleep. 

There’s a hand on his shoulder.

It startles Dan, who turns around with puffy, red eyes to see his best friend. He too has wet eyes, tears threatening to spill. But, there’s a soft smile on his face, the one he reserves for Dan only. At first, Dan thought it was a pity smile, as he gives it to when ever Dan does something so Dan that he just has to flash the small smile, but then he realized that there was so much more to it than pity.

There was love.

Phil has always been open about his sexuality, never been scared to express himself. He has always talked about being attracted to both genders, and Dan wasn’t surprised when one day he blurted out “I think I’m bi.”

Phil pulled Dan into a tight hug, squeezing him to his chest. “It’s alright Dan. I’ve got you.”

Phil’s body provided Dan with warmth that his bed has never provided him with. It made Dan feel all fuzzy and warm and he cuddled closer into Phil’s chest. Phil pulled Dan closer and began whispering comforting things into his hair. Dan took a deep breath, taking in the sweet scent that is everything Phil. They stayed like this for a while, Dan’s tears soaking Phil’s shirt, and Phil holding him close, almost like he’s afraid that if he let go Dan would run away.

Soon, Dan’s sobbing became mere hiccups, and began to pull away from Phil. Phil released Dan, almost reluctantly, and tried to make eye contact with Dan. Dan sniffed and looked down at his feet, just like before. “Thanks for…” Dan trailed off and gestured between them. “That.” He swallowed.

Phil gave him that special smile again and Dan’s heart did that flippy thing. “Anything for you.”

Dan’s breath hitched in his throat. Anything? For him? He looked up into Phil’s eyes, eyes that could never decide what colour they wanted to be. One minute they were blue, the next they were green or yellow. Phil still had that little smile on this face and Dan felt himself involuntarily move closer to him. Phil saw this and his eyes widened for a second before he was leaning towards Dan, eyes slipping shut.

Dan didn’t know what was happening. Was he about to kiss Phil? His best friend? His eyes fell shut too, and with a featherlight touch, Phil’s lips pressed against Dan’s.

It was the most amazing thing Dan has ever experienced.

Phil’s lips were so soft and he was so warm and he kissed Dan like he was asking is this okay? and Dan pressed into him harder, as if answering saying yes, this is more than okay and Phil pressed into Dan harder, and Dan felt as if he was going to explode. Dan had only kissed a boy on other time, and it was because the boy’s friend had dared him to kiss Dan.

Phil’s hand came up to Dan’s waist, pulling him closer, and Dan brought his hands up to Phil’s face, cupping his cheeks and keeping his face close. They kissed for what felt like eternity, and then slowly, pulled away in need of oxygen. 

Panting, Dan rested his head on Phil’s forehead, Phil who had his eyes still shut and a grin tugging at his lips. Their breaths mingled between each other as they stood close. Phil was the first to speak.

“Wow.”

“Yeah…” Dan replied, almost breathlessly.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for that to happen?”

Dan gave an airy laugh. “How long?”

Phil joined his breathless laughter. “Three years.”

Dan just smiled even wider. “Look’s like you don’t need to wait any longer.”

Phil’s grin looked like it was going to split his face in half. “Yeah…”

Then, they kissed again.

~~~~ 

Dan woke up feeling as refreshed as he ever could. He has forgotten how wonderful sleep was.

Dan look over to his right to see his boyfriend still fast asleep beside him.

Boyfriend. 

Dan let out a content sigh. He and Phil have been together for a month now and ever since then he’s been the happiest he’s ever been. He’s also been catching up on his sleep. Now, Dan has been having trouble getting out of bed instead of going to bed. Dan leaned down to give Phil a kiss on his head. 

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Phil grumbled something about five more minutes. Dan laughed. “Come on, Phil, it’s 10:00.”

“Wake me at 10:05.” 

Dan rolled his eyes fondly. “No, not 10:05, now.”

Phil let out a long, annoyed sigh. “Dan, love, it’s summer. Lemme sleep.”

“No, I wanna do something today.”

Phil grabbed his glasses from the bedside table to his right and then look over at Dan. “Oh? And why is that?”

Dan rolled his eyes again. “You know why.”

Phil smirked. “I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.” 

Dan shook his head fondly. “Happy one monthiversary, dickhead.” 

Phil pulled Dan onto his chest and kissed his lips deeply. “Happy one monthiversary, shit face.”

They kissed again. And again. And again. And then did some other not so innocent things, but that’s another story for another time.

a/n: sorry if there are any mistakes i’m lazy and don’t want to look through it

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #150

UPDATE 150: It’s a Circus in Here

Last time Aranea made a building fall on Jade right after she was knocked out. Needless to say, this can’t be good for Jade’s health. So let’s continue!

...way to shatter the excitement, Hussie. You just...took all the tension and dramatic momentum the recent events had, and singlehandedly destroyed it with two out-of-place images that weren’t even needed. Geez. I never had any doubts Hussie wrote at least half of Homestuck by the seat of his pants. I mean, I’m pretty sure he had many things planned, maybe an outline of the order of some events and what some characters would do, but also in moments like this it’s painfully obvious Hussie just...threw in whatever crossed his mind. That’s a terrible way of writing. My ask screener often told me that Andrew Hussie’s story would be refused by any editor unless the pay was monumental, mostly because Hussie’s shenanigans were simply no good at all in terms of keeping the pacing and momentum of the scenes, and in moments like these...I fully agree with her. Damn it, Hussie.

So what’s the judgment for Jade’s death?  The clock seems to indicate she’d revive – hopefully phasing through the building in the process – but Aranea’s powers seem to be way too powerful right now, to the point where her luck influenced the clock and made it have a Just verdict. Jade is dead. Permanently. Would Jane’s life powers even work now? It’s worth a try once Aranea has been dealt with and Jade can’t be controlled again, but until then...Jade is completely out of commission. Dang, Aranea. She’s cold, but I can’t help but admire a bit her methods, as a reader, of course.

Dave has decided to go to the planet where everything is happening and gives the Mayor a heartfelt goodbye, even kissing the Mayor on the forehead. Dave, um, you should stop that. I hadn’t realized it until a month and half or so ago, but infatilizing characters is something that irks me a lot. But yeah, Dave flies away to a portal, trying to get in contact with Rose to inform her there’s something very bad possibly happening.

Since Jade is currently dead, Jane knows she needs to use her powers of life to bring her back and try to turn the tides around, and Aranea isn’t going to try to stop it. She just will fly and tell Roxy to appear, she knows she’s there, observing the situation. Before Jane can use her powers...Gamzee comes flying from the sky and towards Jane. Okay, this is totally Aranea’s doing. I have to wonder how exactly she got Gamzee flying in middle of the sky when last time he was on the battleship, which was in Derse, which was transported who knows how long away. Maybe the Damaras transported him flying all the way here, I guess, but I can’t say I thought Gamzee would be in this scene! Kinda random, but fine.

Roxy isn’t happy at all to see Aranea and demands to know what’s going on.

ROXY: for real though we were gonna give that ring to callie  ARANEA: Hmm?  ROXY: callie my goddamn bffsy from space  ROXY: shes a ghost and i wanna save her from her bro  ARANEA: Ah yes. The female cheru8.  ARANEA: I am perfectly familiar with her plight, as well as the relevance she purportedly has with respect to her 8rother's downfall.  ARANEA: In fact, I was one of the first ever to theorize a8out that! :::;)  ROXY: SMUG  ARANEA: 8ut the situ8tion has changed. That is all ancient history now.  ARANEA: I'm sorry, Roxy. 8ut I have no use for your cheru8 friend in my plans.  ARANEA: She will not 8e playing a role of any significance.

When exactly did things change, Aranea? I mean, I’m pretty sure Vriska’s influence on Aranea had a lot to do with this, but it can’t have been an immediate change of plans. If I had to guess, I’d say it happened when the ship was almost getting to the place where Lord English’s juju was hidden. In terms of storytelling that was in this very same day, but since time doesn’t pass linearly everywhere in the Medium...that may have been millennia ago.

Roxy immediately tells Aranea to give the ring back, but of course Aranea refuses. In fact, to troll standards, everything Roxy said would count as a black romance solicitation. Oh, boy, what an odd romance pairing that’d be! Roxy/Aranea kismesisitude, hah. Aranea then proceeds to kill the levity by saying Jake couldn’t resist throwing himself all over Aranea earlier. Okay, you’re trying to goad Roxy into doing something, aren’t you? This is a trap. In fact, she outright says she needs to get rid of Roxy, just to make sure she won’t be able to meddle and keep trying to get the ring off Aranea’s hand. With some luck it’ll be just knocking her out, not murdering her via crushing with heavy objects.

Oh, also, imaginary Dirk is over there.

Yeah, Roxy was just knocked out. Good! No one died right now. Roxy is bound to appear in Calliope’s dream hideout, I suppose, where Calliope currently is feeling very, very lonely. It’s actually pretty heartbreaking to see her so dispirited.

CALLIOPE: have they all forgotten aboUt me?  CALLIOPE: i gUess i coUld not blame them for getting on with their lives.  CALLIOPE: after all, what Use am i?  CALLIOPE: the only remotely important thing there is for me to do is to go looking for a more important version of myself.  CALLIOPE: and i can't even bloody well do that mUch! 

...okay, Roxy, once everything is over and paradox space is saved you should consider asking the other revived Calliope to give the ring back so you can revive this version here. I’m not entirely sure what kind of person the doomed Calliope is, but if she’s anything like Calliope then she’d understand. Martyrdom would be nothing new to her, too, because I suspect the doomed Calliope took the second option when Yaldabaoth gave it, the option to die now and be very beneficial in the future. I just...it just feels rather sad to see Calliope like this.

Oh! What’s this, hm? Looks like a stage of some sort. The spiral also turns bright yellow. I’m not sure what’s going on...this isn’t something Roxy would do accidentally or intentionally, I think. There are footsteps coming, so Calliope hides behind the curtain and hopes for the best while also...shouting aloud to be left alone. That doesn’t help hiding, silly Calliope.

Well hello there! How did you even get here, Jade? Did you bring this stage with you? I suppose it makes sense, given that Jade just died, although it seems she hasn’t realized yet she’s dead, judging from her still visible eyes. Calliope hesitantly steps out, disguised as a troll, aaaaand scene change. Back to the trouble.

JANE: GET YOUR PAWS OFF ME YOU SHITFUCKING SHITFUCKER AUGH FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK. 

...well that language doesn’t fit Jane at all. Too simple and crude. I’m sure if she insulted it’d be a tad more complicated than this. Jane tries to shake Gamzee off, but isn’t able to do it.

JANE: DID YOU JUST TOUCH MY BOOB. DON'T TOUCH MY BOOB YOU FUCKFACED DUNG HUFFING TOILET GUZZLING IDIOT QUIPSTER SHITPECKER DICKLARK. 

That’s more like I imagine Jane would cuss, hah. Dave arrives right in this moment. Welcome to the party, Dave. He almost immediately finds Jade underneath the building, and then asks Gamzee for an explanation.

DAVE: not gonna answer me huh  DAVE: youre just gonna keep manhandling johns evil mom and not tell me what jades doing under this house  DAVE: sweet jesus youre an awful dude

There’s something charming in Dave’s way of talking I just find charming. I can’t exactly saw what it is, because I’m not sure, but I like it.

So, the deal here with imaginary Dirk is that he’s turning less imaginary. Perhaps a direct consequence of Jake’s hope powers? Soon he’s completely real and prepares to kill Aranea while Jake continues shouting lingo from 1890.

Down in the ground looks like Terezi and Rose have arrived to the planet! Terezi’s first action is to kick Gamzee away from Jane, much to Dave’s pleasure, who instead asks Jane about what’s happening. Yeah, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind telling it while she resurrects Jade.

DAVE: hey johns hot mom did you see what happened  DAVE: shit i mean  DAVE: johns evil mom  DAVE: did you happen to...  DAVE: damn  DAVE: ok that was a really embarrassing and inappropriate freudian slip there  DAVE: dont think im gonna rebound from that one 

You sure like calling people’s moms hot, Dave!

Terezi starts shouting everything she surely have wanted to shout for quite a while, insulting Gamzee’s religion and preference in beverages. Gamzee, still under Aranea’s control, I suppose, doesn’t respond at all. In middle of the rant, Terezi realizes Aranea is up there.

TEREZI: YOU 4ND SH3 4R3 1N C4HOOTS NOW, 4R3NT YOU  TEREZI: 4R3NT YOU!!! 

I’m not exactly sure what were Aranea’s intentions when she offered to heal Terezi, but maaaaybe Gamzee did make Terezi hate herself so she’d accept the offer. He can be that manipulative, whether it’s by his own will or under someone else’s orders. I don’t know. So while Terezi starts beating up Gamzee, Dirk starts trying to slice Aranea. Aim for the hand, Dirk!

So I’m stopping here for now.

Next update: three updates